0:13

From our earliest days, we've

0:15

gathered around the fire for

0:17

warmth and comfort. But

0:20

beyond the light of the dying

0:22

embers, there is

0:25

the darkness. And

0:28

it's in the darkness of the

0:30

night where we find ourselves. Waiting,

0:35

yearning for the dawn to banish

0:37

our fears. But

0:40

our campfire holds more than

0:42

firelight. For with

0:44

us, you will hear the

0:46

tales that make the nightmares engulf

0:49

you. And

0:51

you dare not close your

0:53

eyes. Embrace

0:57

yourself for the

1:00

No Sleep Podcast. Welcome

1:09

to the No Sleep Podcast. I'm

1:12

your host, David Cummings. When

1:15

it comes to the horror genre,

1:17

you can't help but notice how often

1:19

science plays into horrifying stories. Ask

1:22

someone to name a classic horror story, and

1:25

I'll bet you'll hear the answer, Frankenstein –

1:27

more than any other. And

1:29

think of that clip from the classic film version.

1:50

Yes the motif of a mad

1:52

scientist, often well-meaning, trying to help

1:54

the human race, who ends up

1:56

causing more harm than good. Well,

1:59

that's a theme. found in many horror

2:01

stories. Scientific

2:03

experiments, especially those done on humans,

2:05

can resonate with many people. I

2:08

haven't gone under the knife, as it were,

2:11

for any kind of surgery, but I can

2:13

imagine that if you've been preparing to be

2:15

wheeled into the operating room, put under anesthetic

2:17

with your life in the hands of the

2:19

surgical team, I wouldn't blame

2:21

anyone for being a bit frightened at that

2:23

thought. What's in their lab

2:26

notes? What's that strange liquid in all those test tubes

2:28

and beakers? Right,

2:32

and what is it that motivates the madness?

2:38

Well, on this episode, we're going to learn

2:40

about science and experiments that push the boundaries

2:43

of ethics and morals. So

2:46

hold on for the scientific matter, and we'll be right back. The

2:55

method gone mad, and if you're

2:57

lucky, at the end of this, someone

2:59

will be able to look at you

3:02

and proclaim, It's alive! And

3:05

now, the sun has set,

3:07

the fire glows bright, Brace

3:10

yourself for

3:12

the darkness

3:14

of the

3:16

night. In our first

3:19

tale, we meet Anderson Price, lying

3:21

on the operating table. We

3:24

can only trust that he's being looked after

3:26

by competent doctors who are seeking to help

3:28

Anderson. But in this

3:30

tale, shared with us by author Alexander

3:32

Gar, we learn that the patient is

3:35

undergoing a procedure that will, well,

3:38

let's just say, test his

3:40

self-esteem. Performing

3:43

this tale are Mike DelGaudio, Kyle

3:45

Akers, and Jesse Cornette.

3:48

So the equipment and staff are ready. It's

3:51

time to operate on Anderson's

3:54

Body. They

4:08

started with his hair, trimming, then

4:10

buzzing, then shaving the curling

4:12

locks. The hair was

4:14

swept into a bin and put aside. Who

4:18

are you? I am

4:21

Anderson Price. He watched

4:23

the machine approach and slice a bit

4:26

of skin from his finger. Who

4:29

are you? I

4:32

am Anderson Price. Scalpels

4:34

and saws, wires and

4:37

tubes, forceps, scissors, gels

4:39

and clamps, those

4:42

and more, were strung

4:44

to a mutated mechanical octopus and

4:47

the whole contraption whizzed and

4:49

whirred above Anderson's supine and

4:51

conscious body. Things

4:54

were taken that Anderson couldn't feel, the

4:57

anesthesia more than effective. The

5:00

robotic arms twisted and something else

5:02

was taken away and placed on

5:04

an adjacent sterile table. Who

5:08

are you? I am

5:10

Anderson Price. A small

5:13

platoon of white coats stood behind

5:15

glass above the scene. Some

5:17

had clipboards on which they furiously

5:20

scribbled, others tablets. While

5:23

others little handheld devices that they spoke

5:25

to. One or

5:27

two white coats watched without recording

5:30

their observations. Buzz

5:32

went the saw and Anderson saw

5:34

in his peripherals a hand gliding

5:37

away. Hiss

5:39

went the laser and something

5:41

somewhere was cauterized. The

5:43

metal table next to Anderson's

5:46

was beginning to resemble a

5:48

frankenstinian attempt at creation. Who

5:51

are you? I

5:53

am Anderson Price. There

5:56

was a light shining behind the

5:58

robotic monstrosity. It was

6:00

pure white and blinding. Anderson

6:03

imagined it to be the sun, or

6:06

the moon during a supernova. He

6:09

imagined himself beneath that light,

6:11

which erased shadows. He

6:14

imagined a young man, bald

6:16

and flayed, his exposed

6:18

muscles wet with here and

6:21

there an ivory bone gasping

6:23

for air. There

6:25

went his kneecap. A

6:27

calf, hardened from years of

6:29

running, peeled back. His

6:32

penis was snipped off, the

6:34

testicles following, one at a time, like

6:37

eggs from a nest. Who

6:40

are you? I

6:42

am Anderson Price. A

6:45

second machine came to life and

6:47

worked to keep Anderson alive, and,

6:50

more importantly, conscious, while

6:52

the first performed its vivisection.

6:56

Grands and arteries were extracted, wound,

6:58

and placed in a special container.

7:02

Intestines, like rubber snakes,

7:04

a stomach empty except for its

7:07

fluids. His chest

7:09

cavity was opened like a lobster, and

7:12

its contents emptied, each

7:14

organ getting its own container. He

7:16

was a pharaoh, a god

7:18

among mortals, and his

7:21

loyal servants were preparing his tomb

7:23

with his organ-filled, canopic jars. He

7:27

hoped they would remember all of the other items

7:29

he would need for the afterlife, his

7:31

phone and laptop, his cat, his

7:34

video games and music. A

7:37

benefit of the modern era was that everything

7:39

was so tiny, the treasure

7:41

room wouldn't need to take up much space

7:43

in the overall tomb. Who

7:47

are you? I

7:49

am Anderson Price. A

7:52

blinding light heralded the awakening of a

7:54

third and fourth machine. They

7:57

began to hover over Anderson's discarded

7:59

bay. seeming to

8:01

discuss between themselves something

8:03

secretive and exclusive. Anderson

8:07

watched a scalpel approach his

8:09

face. Slow and methodical

8:11

were its movements, its

8:13

edge thin and sharp. It

8:16

excised his eyelids before a needle

8:18

slid into the jelly of his

8:20

sclera and popped the eye from

8:22

its socket, the nerve

8:25

delicately removed. Blind,

8:28

Anderson was left with smell and

8:30

sound, neither of which he

8:32

had much interest in focusing on. He

8:35

knew the robots were on his face. He

8:38

sensed them at his ears and

8:40

mouth and nose, probing

8:43

and prodding. There

8:45

was a pressure atop his head. Who

8:47

are you? I

8:50

am... Anderson

8:52

Price. He found

8:55

himself asking who Anderson Price was.

8:58

He felt the same as when he was

9:00

first laid upon the operating table. The

9:02

removal of his limbs wouldn't change that. He

9:06

hadn't noticed when his heart was taken from him

9:09

or his throat. He wondered

9:11

if any singular piece of him

9:13

could be pointed to and called

9:15

Anderson Price. He

9:18

knew his skull had been unscrewed

9:20

and the robotic arms were lapping

9:22

up his brain fluid. It

9:25

could have been the brain that made him who he

9:27

was. But even after

9:29

the machine was satiated and began

9:31

to slice pieces of brain matter

9:33

away, Anderson thought

9:36

he remained Anderson. They

9:40

started with his brain, scooping,

9:42

then molding, then fitting the

9:44

wrinkled mass together like a

9:46

puzzle, neurons linked.

9:49

Blood vessels, mile after thousandth

9:52

mile of them were reconnected. Heart

9:55

here, liver there, lungs

9:57

arranged just so. Spine

10:00

slotted into the foramen magnum.

10:03

Intestines were recoiled and muscles

10:05

were stitched into a tapestry.

10:09

Who are you? I...

10:13

...Amanderson Price. How

10:19

do you know? Who

10:21

else would I be? A

10:23

simulacrum. Affeximally.

10:27

A man-shaped meat bag,

10:30

unaware of its purpose.

10:34

Purpose? I

10:36

don't have a purpose. That's why

10:38

I volunteered. Prove to

10:40

me that you are Anderson

10:42

Price. When

10:44

I was eight, my dad built a ramp from

10:46

a 2x4 and a piece of plywood. I

10:50

rode my bike off of it and fell hard, skinning

10:53

my hands and feet. I

10:56

had been wearing sandals. I

10:59

was crying in the driveway and my parents ran out

11:01

to help me. The

11:03

next day was my birthday party. It

11:06

was at an indoor swimming pool and

11:08

the chlorine hurt too much for me to swim.

11:11

The doctor harrumphed. That

11:16

singular memory encompasses what

11:18

it means to be

11:20

Anderson Price. It's

11:22

a memory only I would have. But

11:25

it isn't who you are. I don't know

11:27

if it's possible to prove it any other

11:30

way. He gave

11:32

me a new body, but I'm not

11:34

that. I'm

11:36

here. He lifted a

11:38

finger to his sutured temple. I

11:41

realized it during the surgery. Without

11:43

my memories, I can't be me. If

11:47

you had withheld a part of my brain,

11:50

then I couldn't be me. How

11:52

do you know we didn't? What?

11:56

A piece of your brain. How

11:59

do you know we... She didn't keep a

12:01

part of you while the

12:03

rest was being reassembled. I

12:08

guess I wouldn't describe

12:12

Anderson Price. Socially.

12:17

Culturally. I'm young,

12:19

according to people like you, but old

12:22

according to my brother's kids. I

12:25

see the world around me and admire

12:27

its natural beauty. I

12:29

love the mystery of the ocean and

12:32

the starkness of nature's outer wilds.

12:35

I have an interest in animals, but am

12:37

too uninterested to own anything besides a cat,

12:40

because cats are easy to care for. I

12:43

don't have a favorite genre of music and

12:46

instead listen to anything that I think sounds good.

12:49

I'm socially awkward

12:51

and crave social interactions.

12:55

I'm poor. I

12:57

have been too proud to move back in

12:59

with my parents. I

13:03

dream of becoming an

13:06

ultra-billionaire while shunning the economic system

13:08

out of a sense of unfounded

13:10

decorum. Every

13:12

relationship I've been in has ended in

13:14

unrequited heartache or mutual

13:17

rage. I yearn

13:19

to see the distant future, but some

13:22

days I am afraid I won't live

13:24

to see tomorrow. All

13:26

these things, are

13:29

they what make you Anderson

13:31

Price? I suppose.

13:34

How about we play a word

13:36

association game? I'll

13:39

give you a word, and

13:41

you tell me the role it's played in

13:43

your life. Okay. Apple.

13:47

I am allergic. Paintbrush. I

13:50

wanted to be an artist when I was little. Christy.

13:54

My teacher in fifth grade. The

13:57

next word sounded garbled and Anderson asked

13:59

for it. the doctor to repeat it. He

14:02

did, but Anderson still couldn't understand

14:04

it. Um, sorry.

14:08

What language is that? The

14:10

doctor said it a third time, a

14:13

smile tugging at his lips. They

14:17

started with his brain, scooping

14:19

and scraping until every morsel

14:22

was gone. In

14:24

its place was another brain, newer

14:26

and sleeker than the old one. Wires

14:30

were unplugged, the upload

14:32

completed. A mostly

14:34

synthetic spinal cord was inserted into

14:36

the foramen magnum and into

14:38

a module on the underside of the

14:40

new brain. Who

14:44

are you? You're

15:12

not having an out of body experience.

15:14

It's just a quick word from our

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Now back to the campfire, but make

16:55

sure you check around your chair for

16:57

insects When

17:06

it comes to insects most people

17:09

prefer to observe from afar if

17:11

at all But if you're

17:13

like Lexa working at her

17:15

university's entomology lab your fascination

17:18

with insects goes much much

17:20

deeper And in

17:22

this tale shared with us by author

17:24

Ollie a white we learned that the

17:27

new species of insects She's studying has

17:29

a way of inspiring her to learn

17:31

more Performing

17:34

this tale are Erica Sanderson

17:36

Ash Millman David Alt and

17:39

Andy Cresswell So

17:41

don't fear those creepy crawlies too

17:43

badly. Give them cute names like

17:46

Maddie long legs You

18:01

A beep. The

18:04

sound of compressed air being released. The

18:08

satisfying swish of recently upgraded laboratory

18:10

doors opening then closing. Madeline's

18:14

soul's clicking across the sterile pile

18:16

floor. Night

18:19

again! Sorry. Madie's

18:23

voice was chirpy as usual. The

18:26

younger woman's keen demeanor and sustained

18:28

pepiness never seemed to falter. Carlo

18:31

spun around in his chair, sending it

18:33

and him rattling across the lab floor.

18:37

Don't worry, you haven't missed much. The kids

18:40

are skittish, but mama's hanging on and the

18:42

debutante has shown no signs of presenting herself

18:44

yet. I

18:48

saw Madie beam as she walked over to the large tank

18:50

that took up the centre of the lab. I

18:53

stood from my desk and joined her, furtively

18:55

glancing over at Carlo, who turned back

18:57

to his workstation. How's

19:01

the lovesick puppy been today? Managed

19:06

to avoid mentioning you this morning. For

19:09

once. Despite

19:13

her words, I could hear the disappointment in

19:15

her voice. Ever

19:18

since Carlo had joined our team six months

19:20

ago, he'd had a wildly passionate crush on

19:22

Madie, a crush she'd confessed to

19:24

me about halfway into his tenure, which I'd made

19:26

the bad decision of allowing him to talk about

19:28

with me. I assumed

19:30

he'd discuss it with me, and that would be the push

19:33

he needed to ask Madie out on a date. Back

19:36

then she rather liked him. She

19:38

would have said yes, but I

19:41

encouraged him to go for it. He

19:43

didn't. Instead,

19:45

he spent the next three months pining

19:48

for her, always saying how

19:50

impossible it was, but he couldn't see

19:52

how to make it work, how to raise it with

19:54

Madie. All sorts of nonsensical,

19:56

cowardly stalling tactics that made it obvious

19:58

that he and Madie would not go

20:00

well together. I

20:03

quickly got sick of telling him what he needed to hear, and

20:05

decided to warn Maddie. She

20:07

normally appreciated guys with confidence, who

20:09

took control. Carlo was

20:11

none of these things. None

20:15

of this put Maddie off, something

20:17

I couldn't even begin to fathom. I

20:20

took to reminding her that it was the 21st

20:22

century, and if Carlo was too much of a

20:24

man-baby to ask Maddie out, she could ask him.

20:26

But in typical,

20:29

infuriatingly Maddie way, she wouldn't do

20:31

that either, now that she knew the situation.

20:34

Said that he needed to learn to ask her.

20:37

The whole thing drove me mad,

20:39

which amused Maddie further. Not

20:42

in any mean-spirited or spiteful way. This

20:44

was just Maddie, mischievous,

20:47

teasing, infuriating in a way

20:49

that somehow made me like her more. I

20:53

turned my attention back to her. Maybe

20:57

today will be the day he finally opens up.

21:01

We can but hope. Maybe

21:04

today will be the day she finally opens

21:06

up. It

21:09

had become an in-joke between Maddie and I. Who would

21:12

open up first? Carlo

21:14

or the debutante? Inside

21:17

the tank, the debutante was cocooned in webs

21:20

that gave the appearance of a flowing white

21:22

gown, a partial reason for the

21:24

nickname. The other being

21:26

that when she came out, she

21:28

would be crowned the new queen of our hive.

21:31

I was

21:38

a post-grad student working on a master's

21:40

in forensic entomology. Both

21:43

to aid my studies and the financial

21:45

necessities required to study, I

21:47

juggled this with a full-time job working as a

21:49

junior lab manager for the university. Shortly

21:52

after I took the role, a professor and

21:55

a group of students on an expedition had discovered

21:57

a new species of insect. It

21:59

was very big deal. It

22:02

caused a stir for much the same reasons that

22:04

any dramatic new arrival to the kingdom Animalia does.

22:08

Similar but different to an existing creature.

22:11

Biological and sociological rules that could turn

22:13

our understanding of nature on its head.

22:16

Really unusual looking. In

22:18

honesty that's the thing that garners the

22:20

most funding. The visual

22:23

whoa factor. In

22:25

this case the whoa stem from how damn

22:27

creepy this little thing was. At

22:30

first glance it looks like your average

22:33

harvestman. And it was first

22:35

believed to be yet another species in the Opilans order

22:37

of which there were already nearly 7,000. A neat find

22:39

but nothing

22:42

life-changing. And

22:44

then study began and the

22:47

differences became clear. The

22:50

official designation was Arrak

22:52

287B31 but given what a

22:54

mouthful that was we at the University had

22:57

nicknamed the creature the Cockdancer. There

22:59

is at least partially immature explanation for

23:01

this but I think we can all be honest

23:03

and admit that this was simply post

23:06

naming justification using legendary

23:08

arachnologists Karl Koch and his

23:10

son Ludwig Spydercock the scapegoats.

23:14

Once you saw the Cockdancer though it wasn't

23:16

hard to see what has inspired the nickname.

23:19

A harvestman like had

23:21

a protrusion from their ears where

23:23

a spider's abdomen would be. Compared

23:25

to the Cockdancer's body though the protrusion

23:28

was smaller flexible and

23:30

did unfortunately look like a penis. We

23:34

were still not sure what function the cock on

23:36

these insects served but we did know

23:38

that they used them partially for traversal

23:40

alongside their eight lengthy legs. The

23:43

penis allowed them to flip and catapult as they

23:46

moved making for a strange

23:48

and sometimes frankly terrifying form of

23:50

acrobatics compared to the already alien

23:52

movements of most arachnids. The

23:55

job of our lab was to study a hugely

23:58

fortunate development in one of the nests. the

24:00

bigger labs had been cultivating, a development

24:02

that was possibly the most remarkable thing

24:04

about our little cock dancers. They

24:07

were eusocial arachnids that had a queen, and

24:09

in the colony in question, the one that filled the

24:12

tank in the centre of our lab, we

24:14

were observing a community in which the old

24:16

queen was seemingly dying, and a

24:18

new queen was about to take her place. That

24:22

was the debutante, the silken-cased

24:24

yet unseen beauty who Maddy was

24:27

once again studying with longing. Here's

24:30

another thing about opilons, they don't

24:33

produce silk. Spiders

24:35

do. Our cock dancers

24:37

weren't spiders. If they

24:39

lost legs, they wouldn't grow back, again

24:42

like opilons. But

24:44

our female opilons could produce silk from their

24:46

mouths. Nobody

24:49

had seen the creation of the debutante, but it

24:51

was caught on camera. At

24:53

some point one night, a number of

24:55

cock dancers had stopped, and all turned

24:57

on one unremarkable sibling. Then,

25:00

as hive-minded creatures tend to do, they all

25:02

began to work together to string this single

25:04

dancer up into her cocoon. After

25:08

using several imaging techniques over a few

25:10

days to confirm that, yes, the dancer

25:12

inside was evolving and changing shape, the

25:15

hive was transported to our lab, where we

25:17

were requested to drop all work we were

25:19

doing and dedicate our entire time to the

25:22

study and observation of this particular colony. Maddy,

25:26

Carlo and I were currently working the day shift,

25:29

but were to switch with the night shift after a

25:31

short break. For all of us, but

25:33

especially Maddy, this had become an

25:35

increasing source of anxiety. If

25:39

she comes out today, then that would be just swell.

25:42

I'll be devastated if I don't get to see her

25:44

emerge. I

25:46

squeezed Maddy's shoulder. On

25:49

the other hand, what if she

25:51

comes out this evening at the end of our shift?

25:54

We'll see her emerge, but then we'll miss the next

25:56

two days of her new life. Maddie

26:00

brushed away my concerns, but

26:02

let my hand linger. That's

26:05

easy. I'll just work

26:08

unpaid overtime and join today's night shift. Stick

26:11

it out as long as I can. Girl,

26:13

you can't keep putting in unpaid overtime like this. You

26:17

know unpaid means they're not paying

26:19

you, yeah? Yes,

26:23

mummy, I know. But come on,

26:25

I want to be there. I've just... Got

26:28

her. If

26:31

Lexa's mummy, does that make me daddy? Hidden

26:35

by Maddie's body, my eyes widened in horror.

26:39

Then I was fighting back laughter as, turned away

26:41

from Carlo, Maddie began to make gagging motions

26:43

with her fingers down her throat. She

26:46

accidentally went too far, choking, which

26:48

broke the floodgates. Carlo

26:51

clearly thought I was laughing with him and continued,

26:53

chuckling as if it was the best joke in

26:55

the world. Mummy,

26:58

daddy and Maddie. So,

27:01

you and Nexa in this scenario are, what, married?

27:07

Maddie gave me a mischievous, mocking look. Or,

27:11

I'm the bastard offspring of a traced, one

27:13

dark and stormy night shift. The

27:16

horny, romantic setting of an entomology lab got

27:18

the better of you. I

27:22

shot her a withering glance, then tried

27:24

to fight back more laughter as Carlo's expression made

27:26

it clear he'd caught on to the very unintended

27:29

dynamic he'd created. Uh,

27:32

actually, I don't think I'm ready for fatherhood.

27:34

The dancers can be daddy. They're as good

27:36

as daddy, long legs after. Carlo

27:41

trailed off. His

27:43

face cracked into a wide smile. What

27:47

is it, Bri? Maddie,

27:50

long legs. That's what we should call them.

27:54

Cock's answer isn't gonna fly with the president

27:56

of insect nicknames or whatever, but Maddie,

27:58

long legs? Named

28:00

after the iconic lab assistant who played

28:02

an integral role in studying them, it's

28:04

perfect! The public will eat it up!

28:09

Maddy stared at me, silently pleading

28:11

for my support. I

28:14

think it's a wonderful name! What

28:17

about you, Maddy Longlegs?

28:19

Maddy Longlegs Maddy

28:50

Longlegs If

29:20

someone tried to use their security card outside the

29:22

allotted shift time, it simply wouldn't allow you in.

29:26

It was an unusual arrangement, but one that

29:28

made a certain degree of sense to those

29:30

of us who worked there, to do with

29:32

space and sterility and security. But

29:35

it meant the anxiety of an hour during

29:37

which the dancers were observed only by the

29:39

cameras in and around their tank. It

29:43

was a nice change to have Maddy at my side as I

29:45

rushed towards the tank. Of

29:48

course, nothing had happened during the day

29:50

shift. The junior lab manager

29:52

from that team, Leo, was a good friend of

29:54

mine, and they would have texted me if anything

29:56

had happened. But

29:58

there was still that missing ill. Oh,

30:02

nothing. Fuck yes. I

30:07

let out a breath. I hadn't

30:09

realised how much the extended time away from

30:11

the lab had been bothering me until I could

30:14

confirm the debutante was still firmly wrapped in her

30:16

cocoon. If you'd told

30:18

me a few years ago that I would have dreaded

30:20

being away from school and work, then I would have

30:22

laughed in your face. I've

30:25

got a feeling. A

30:27

funny feeling. I

30:30

cocked my eyebrow. Tried

30:32

Tinder? Ew,

30:34

no, not like that. This is something actually

30:37

sexy. Like bugs. Who's

30:40

a sexy bug? And, er, sorry for being late.

30:45

Harlow stood in the doorway, looking sheepish

30:47

and clutching apology coffees under one arm.

30:50

He was dripping wet, and only then

30:52

did I notice the rain battering the lab's sole

30:54

window. It had been a

30:57

balmy night when I arrived. I

31:00

am silly. Maddy, long

31:02

legs. But,

31:04

naught it. Maddy was barely

31:06

over five feet tall. But

31:09

no, listen. I've just got a feeling that

31:12

she is coming real soon. I

31:14

think I'm, like, part of the hive night now. One

31:17

is done. Harlow's

31:20

eyes widened, as usual taking

31:22

Maddy's nonsense seriously. Whoa.

31:26

That's so cool. Maddy

31:29

gave a sagely nod. It's

31:32

like I can speak to them in a language

31:34

only they and I know. Again,

31:37

I huffed out laughter. Hopefully

31:41

you still understand the human language of

31:43

your supervising lab manager, though. By

31:46

which I mean, settle down and get to

31:48

work, cook whisperer. The

31:56

next two hours of our first night shift

31:58

passed without incident. Once

32:00

the cock whisperer jokes had died out, all

32:03

three of us busied ourselves with work. Around

32:07

8.30pm I excused myself to use the

32:09

bathroom, which meant swiping out the lab

32:11

with my access card. Slinging

32:14

my bag over my shoulder, I walked the

32:16

two corridors that led to the facilities, giving

32:18

the security guard at the nearest station a

32:21

warm smile and nod. Inside

32:24

the bathroom, I barely finished peeing and

32:26

made it to the sink when there was a knock

32:28

at the bathroom door. Since

32:31

whoever it was hadn't simply entered, I assumed

32:34

it must be a man. Hello?

32:40

Out, Miss Livingstone. It

32:43

was Seb, the security guard. Come

32:46

quick. I

32:49

rinsed the soap off my hands and exited the bathroom. Seb

32:53

looked wide-eyed and panicked. My

32:56

heart gave a single, harder thud before I calmed

32:58

myself. Carlo

33:03

called up to me on the internal line, said to

33:05

get you out of the bathroom. You

33:08

needed back at the lab immediately. I

33:12

was momentarily confused. Our

33:14

job was observation and record-keeping. What

33:17

could possibly require such urgency right now? Unless...

33:22

Back at the lab, seconds later, I swiped my card and

33:24

entered. Immediately,

33:28

I could see what was going on, and

33:30

gratitude towards Carlo flooded through me. My

33:34

colleagues were standing facing the tank, staring,

33:37

breathing heavily. The

33:40

debutante was emerging. Going

33:42

down to the room, it was the time to find the first object. I

33:49

hadn't expected that much in terms of actual, visual

33:51

action. It was more about the

33:53

thrill of being the first to see the birth of a

33:55

new queen among the dancers. But

33:58

holy fuck, none of us were single.

34:00

prepared for what we saw that night. At

34:03

first the silk cocoon began to dissolve, like

34:05

it was rotting. As

34:08

this happened, the dancers present in the

34:10

birthing chamber split into two groups. One

34:13

group hurried to the dying queen, whose

34:15

twitching and apparent distress had increased tenfold

34:17

the moment the debutante began to emerge.

34:20

The other group scuttled to the debutante's cocoon

34:22

and began to aid in stripping the silk

34:24

away. They'd

34:27

broken into groups of male and female.

34:32

Curlo was right. The distinction between

34:34

the genders in the dancers was hard to make

34:36

out, but by looking up one of

34:38

the screens attached to the tank, broadcasting a zoomed-in

34:41

view of the royal chamber, we could see that

34:43

the dancers who were aiding the debutante all had

34:45

the telltale double dot marks on their

34:47

round spiky carapace that indicated the female

34:49

of the species. The

34:52

bugs tending to the queen were dut free. Interesting.

34:57

The males are trying to calm the queen, I think.

35:02

I shook my head. No.

35:05

Look, they're starting to climb on her. She's

35:09

freaking out even more, and what the

35:11

shit? The

35:13

male dancers had begun to swarm over

35:15

the queen, their phallic protrusions suddenly extending,

35:18

rising high above their heads as if they were

35:20

now scorpion pails. And from the

35:23

end of each began to extend a long, sharp

35:25

fang. They

35:28

don't always have a fang,

35:30

right? I

35:32

asked, even though I knew the

35:34

answer. No.

35:37

This rare fang seems to have

35:39

developed in response to the change

35:41

in ruler. My guess

35:44

is it's formed and hardened from the same

35:46

substance they create that functions as their silk.

35:49

Oh, the dissection buffins are going to love this

35:51

shit. We

35:54

watched silently as the now armed

35:56

male dancers' tails began to extend

35:58

further, reaching over the queen. their bodies.

36:02

Their tail fangs too seemed to grow before

36:04

our eyes, and soon the dancers

36:06

were flexing their tails and causing their fangs

36:08

to pump back and forth. It

36:11

reminded me of the needle in my mum's sewing machine,

36:14

when the poverty of my childhood meant that

36:16

mum would forever be converting old garments into

36:18

new, rather than throwing them out and replacing

36:20

them. This

36:22

comparison, it turned out, wasn't

36:25

far off accurate. On

36:28

the other side of the Royal Chamber, the

36:30

debutante was being undressed by her handmaiden. The

36:33

silk continued to rot away, the process

36:35

expedited by the female dancers pulling at

36:38

it, and the means with

36:40

which they did this was no less surprising

36:42

than their male counterpart's sudden weaponisation. No

36:46

fangs had grown from the female dancers' tails.

36:49

Instead, it seemed that theirs had

36:51

developed a suction ability, which they

36:53

were using to vacuum away the rotting silk from

36:55

the debutante. A dancer

36:57

would suck at the material for a moment,

36:59

then turn away and spit it out onto

37:01

the pile of shredded decaying matter that was

37:04

steadily growing beside the group. Finally,

37:07

the debutante was stripped clean, and

37:09

her handmaiden withdrew, allowing

37:11

us a first-time view of our future queen.

37:15

Beside me, Maddie sucked in air. We

37:18

had been expecting, well, a creature

37:21

essentially identical to the existing queen,

37:24

who was truly a shocking and alien-looking thing.

37:27

But the debutante, while shocking, looked

37:30

nothing like the queen. Our

37:34

dying queen had giant multi-jointed legs,

37:36

the thickness of matchsticks. She

37:39

had a carapace like a regular dancer, but

37:41

adorned with even more spikes. She

37:44

had five small eyes, arranged in

37:46

an upwards-pointing arrow, and a

37:48

sixth larger eyeball, yellow with a pupil

37:50

shaped like a goat's sitting dead center.

37:53

She had a single unusable wing that draped

37:55

over her back like a large cloak. And

37:59

unlike the other dancers, The queen had

38:01

an abdomen from which she could lay eggs. The

38:05

debutante was a squishy sphere, around

38:07

the size of a large marble, pale

38:10

and pink like raw flesh. She

38:12

quivered in place for a moment before

38:14

unseen muscles allowed her to propel forward,

38:17

rolling slowly and awkwardly into the centre of

38:19

the royal chamber. None

38:22

of us said a word, but I

38:24

knew we were all thinking the same thing. Had

38:27

something gone wrong? Was

38:29

there another phase? How

38:32

could this disgusting mound of meat become a

38:34

queen? All hardness and

38:36

spikes and sharp edges? We

38:41

didn't have to wait long to discover. Over

38:44

at the struggling queen, the male dancers were

38:46

going to town, stabbing and courting her

38:49

with their new phone's face. The

38:51

sudden group of hats were so violent and

38:53

ragged that I was shocked despite the

38:56

regular cruelty I had experienced in the insect

38:58

world. The queen

39:00

was clearly distressed too. She

39:02

was chittering and shrieking at a volume that

39:04

was just about audible to human ears. Between

39:07

direct viewing and looking at the internal camera

39:10

feeds, we caught glimpses of what was going

39:12

on. The male

39:14

dancers were stripping the queen, skinning

39:16

her. This was being

39:18

done with frustratingly surgical precision. Her

39:22

carapace had been cracked and was being gently

39:24

prized open by a number of dancers, while

39:26

others still performed a series of excisions down

39:28

her birthing abdomen. As

39:31

they peeled away the outer shell of the abdomen

39:33

like one might shuck a roasted chestnut, we

39:35

saw what looked alarmingly like a miniature human

39:37

wound and taste in jelly. Six

39:41

of the dancers gathered round the skinned

39:43

abdomen and gently pulled backwards, in time

39:45

to the escalating volume of the queen's

39:48

screen. Those who were

39:50

operating on her upper torso held firm, and

39:52

soon the queen split in two parts. slowly

40:00

a huge spike with the same

40:02

appearance as the male dancer's bangs slid free.

40:06

The six dancers held the birthing abdomen aloft,

40:08

and while nothing was audible, I could imagine

40:11

a cheer of triumph rising from the rest

40:13

of the temporary surgical team. The

40:17

rest of what happened all occurred in

40:19

one seamlessly organised motion, exacted

40:21

with military precision. All

40:24

but the six abdomen dancers withdrew from the

40:26

twitching queen. This allowed

40:28

us to see what lay beneath her torso

40:30

carapace, a quivering fleshy

40:33

blob that had clearly started life as the

40:35

same thing as the debutante. Only

40:38

this one was shriveled and withered, and

40:40

leeching filthy green bodily fluid where it had

40:42

been torn. The

40:45

tears I saw had come from numerous

40:47

tiny spikes inside the torso carapace. Whatever

40:51

the carapace's biological origins, it

40:53

functioned as a costume that much was clear.

40:57

A costume, or armour.

41:02

Some of the male dancers took up the queen's garb

41:04

and moved it to a safe distance. Others

41:07

scuttled over to the debutante's handmaidens. There's

41:11

no word to describe what they did to

41:13

them other than restrain. Then

41:16

the remaining surgeons took hold of the debutante,

41:18

who throughout the whole process had just sat

41:21

there, twitching and occasionally rolling back and forth.

41:25

The costume-bearers had it in next, and

41:27

with lightning-quick accuracy, folded the

41:29

former queen's garb around the debutante. Their

41:33

fanged tails still extended, they poked and

41:35

prodded, until as one they withdrew,

41:37

satisfied with the dress-up job they'd done.

41:41

Next, the six dancers that held the birthing

41:44

abdomen moved in. They

41:46

lined the organ spike up with the opening at

41:48

the base of the queen armour, and slowly inserted

41:50

it into the debutante. I

41:53

realised that the spike must function as a

41:55

spine. How all the

41:57

pieces came together I didn't know, nor was it.

42:00

it my job to. The scientists

42:02

would work all this out, no doubt

42:04

by dissecting queens with reckless abandon once

42:06

we'd fostered enough dancer hives. But

42:09

one thing I did know, echoed by

42:11

the wincing gasps from Carlo and Maddy to the

42:13

left and right of me, was

42:15

that should the creature have nerves, the

42:18

insertion process would be excruciatingly painful

42:20

for the debutante. I

42:23

felt a rush of protective concern over the fleshy

42:25

lump, former fleshy lump.

42:28

Now she was pieces of a queen,

42:30

being built alarmingly fast by her hive.

42:35

So the new hive mother was mostly

42:37

constructed. The only thing that

42:39

was missing was the shell over the birthing walls and

42:41

that the old queen had sported until it was shredded.

42:44

We soon discovered where this material came from. A

42:48

few of the male dancers began slicing at

42:50

some of the female handmaidens, and

42:52

what felt like an alarmingly brief amount of

42:54

time, the number of slain and hollowed

42:56

out handmaidens had been constructed into strips

42:59

of brittle skin and closed over

43:01

the debutante's new abdomen. And

43:03

the same handmaidens legs were used to

43:05

connect each strip. The

43:08

six surgeons who had performed the insertion

43:10

then traced their tail fangs down the

43:12

connecting line. As

43:15

they did so, their fangs melted into

43:17

the same type of silk that had formed

43:19

the debutante's cocoon. Within

43:21

seconds, this has hardened into

43:23

dark lines. The

43:27

debutante rolled over onto her belly, but

43:29

her legs were part of the queen armour. How

43:32

would she be able to use them? And

43:34

yet, with a trembling effort,

43:37

the debutante, the new queen,

43:39

rose to her feet. A

43:43

few unsteady steps, and then the queen

43:45

flexed her new body and strode over to the

43:48

raised dais in the royal chamber that had served

43:50

as the previous queen's throne. Her

43:54

remaining handmaidens followed, settling at

43:56

her feet in what looked almost like prayer.

44:00

And then, as if to close the ceremony,

44:03

the surgeons all scuttled over to the twitching,

44:05

fleshy remains of the old queen. Using

44:09

their tail fangs, they

44:12

eviscerated all that remained of their former

44:20

matriarch.

44:26

Years later, shortly before our shift

44:28

ended, Maddy, Carlo and I

44:31

finally had the lab to ourselves again. Many

44:34

senior scientists and even non-scientific university

44:36

personnel had disregarded the late hour

44:38

and came in to see the

44:41

new queen, watched the footage, interrogate

44:43

us on what we'd seen. Everything

44:46

that had happened that evening was ground-breaking

44:48

and earth-shattering. As

44:51

an entomology postgrad, I'd been pretty aware

44:53

of this, but not quite to

44:55

the extent I was informed. It

44:58

was possible that we'd discovered the most intelligent

45:00

species of insect on living record, intelligent

45:04

by a colossal margin, no less. It

45:08

was a whirlwind, a

45:11

breathless, exciting, terrifying whirlwind. By

45:14

the time we were alone again, any

45:16

of my annoyances at Maddy and Carlo

45:18

Drama felt inconsequential compared to the closeness,

45:20

even love that I felt for both

45:22

of them. Ooh,

45:27

that was fucked up, I

45:30

said finally. You

45:33

think so? Maddy's

45:36

voice was small, hoard.

45:40

I thought it was... I

45:43

thought it was beautiful. They

45:46

loved their queens so much that they all make

45:48

sure they live on through each other. It's

45:52

the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Her

45:57

interpretation had been nothing like mine. Nothing

46:00

at all. But

46:02

it was such a lovely way of looking at it

46:04

that I couldn't bring myself to suggest anything else. It

46:14

was my turn to be late for work the next day. Something

46:18

had gone severely wrong with my car, it seemed,

46:20

and by the time I'd worked this out and

46:22

arranged another ride, I was over an

46:24

hour late. As

46:27

soon as I exited the elevator onto our floor, I

46:29

knew something was wrong. There

46:33

was no security guard at the desk, which

46:35

was unposited by itself, but especially given the

46:37

events of the night before. I

46:41

rushed around the corner and down our corridor. There

46:45

was nothing glaring, but there was a small

46:47

scratch on the wall here, a tiny

46:49

smear there. You

46:52

know. Our

46:54

lab door was closed like it should be. I

46:58

swiped my card. Enter. Inside

47:03

I saw the central tank was covered by a

47:06

huge black sheet. Carla

47:08

was facing back and forth between it and me.

47:13

As soon as he saw me, a

47:15

grin split his face. Lexa,

47:19

Lexa, I'm so glad you're here. I wanted you

47:21

to be the first to know I sold it.

47:23

I sold it all thanks to

47:25

the dancers. So

47:28

what, buddy? Something

47:31

felt so off. Why

47:34

was the tank covered? What

47:37

was that strange chemical smell in the air?

47:41

Maddy! Maddy!

47:45

I rolled my eyes. Really?

47:49

Maddy things again? Now? But

47:55

shouldn't Maddy be here? Surely

47:58

she couldn't be even later than I was. No,

48:01

seriously, all thanks to the dancers.

48:04

You never got it. You

48:06

never understood. You kept

48:08

telling me to just ask Maddy out, and I

48:10

kept telling you I couldn't. That's

48:13

what was tearing me apart. I fell

48:15

in love with Maddy like the moment

48:17

I first saw her, but I

48:20

still love my wife, too. We've

48:23

only been together a few years, married for one. That's

48:26

not long enough to leave her for Maddy. And

48:29

I didn't stop loving her just because I saw Maddy, so

48:31

how could I ask Maddy out without screwing things

48:33

up with my wife? Wait,

48:36

wait, wait. You're

48:38

married. I'd

48:42

never seen rings on his hands, but

48:44

of course I wouldn't have.

48:48

Lab policy meant absolutely zero jewellery,

48:52

and Carlo was pale enough and newlywed

48:54

enough that a removed ring wouldn't likely

48:56

be evident. Yeah,

49:00

so I couldn't just ask Maddy out. I

49:02

needed a solution. I'd never cheat on my

49:04

wife or cheat on Maddy. I

49:06

ran last night. The

49:10

smell was getting stronger. I

49:13

caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Something

49:17

small skittering across the floor, like

49:20

a spider, but not.

49:25

What have you done, Carlo? My

49:28

heart was beating faster. Faster.

49:34

Like I said, I worked out the perfect solution.

49:38

Why is the dancer's tank covered, Carlo? Without

49:43

waiting for a reply, I strode to the centre of

49:45

the lab and pulled the black sheet away. I

49:48

don't know what I was expecting to find underneath, but

49:52

it certainly wasn't what I saw. The

49:55

opposite side of the tank had been shattered, and

49:59

what I could see if it was... Almost all the

50:01

dancers were gone, the Queen

50:03

included. My

50:05

eyes would have darted around the lab, were it not for what

50:07

I saw on the other side of the tank, lying

50:10

on the couch in the rec corner. Not

50:14

even considering my safety, I rushed around to

50:16

where the bloody shape lay. I

50:20

took it all in, the

50:23

metal staples holding parts together, the

50:26

proportions, one arm longer

50:28

than the other, darker skin,

50:30

and the face. The

50:34

face though. Half

50:37

I didn't recognise, half

50:40

my good friend. What

50:43

the hell have you done Carlo? What

50:46

have you done to Maddy? That

50:50

I knew. I

50:52

already knew. He'd

50:54

built himself one partner out of two.

50:58

He's two loves. He's

51:01

two Queens. Carlo

51:05

had come around to join me. I

51:09

was too numb to feel fear. In

51:12

the best part. He

51:15

touched a cup that seemed to stretch around

51:17

his Queen's entire body. Just

51:20

below a belly whose skin I didn't recognise.

51:25

Attached to hips I did. The

51:28

best part, my wife was

51:31

barren. Couldn't have kids.

51:34

We really wanted kids. But

51:38

Maddy, Maddy isn't. And

51:42

I would have never even thought of any of this if

51:44

it wasn't for the dancers. The

51:48

puffins were right. They

51:51

really are world changing. I

51:56

swayed. The threat of fainting

51:58

washed over me. But

52:01

even then, Even of

52:03

the everything. I

52:06

think I could have held it together. I

52:09

think I could. Stay through take

52:11

causes, If

52:14

it hadn't been for what happened this. House

52:19

cool local bars and stared at

52:21

me. three to women's bible. Shifted.

52:25

Her patchwork sources. Stretched

52:29

her pale size attached to Smooth

52:31

Doc a car. The the mean. For

52:35

collapsed. Between see to she still. And

52:40

I gave. or for how long

52:42

long long? There

53:16

are few areas of science more

53:18

impactful amount of neuroscience. Trying to

53:20

discover how bad do we mass

53:23

between our ears actually works and

53:25

makes us conscious human beings. And

53:27

in this tale shared with us

53:30

by offer Rail Roy we meet

53:32

a woman who was trying to

53:34

understand what makes our brains push

53:37

us to destroy. It's. Performing

53:40

this tale are Sarah Thomas,

53:43

Jeff Comment and introducing our

53:45

newest voice actor, Vivian Lou.

53:49

So listen to learn about

53:51

our most inner workings. Listen

53:53

for the resonance. I

54:08

would consider me and closest friends that I

54:10

would never admit that allowed because it is

54:12

embarrassing to have said four semesters in college

54:15

and only have a girl I met a

54:17

couple months ago to show for it. Flies.

54:20

I was certainly. Not her closest friend And

54:22

the power imbalance in terms of investment

54:24

in this relationship is considered me. She

54:27

had too many eggs another baskets while

54:29

my with portfolio with concentrated heavily in

54:31

her. I don't quite a lot out

54:33

of knowing. Her Regardless, she was charismatic

54:35

and had to slay of laughing through

54:37

every story she told that left you

54:40

hanging on to every word. She made

54:42

friends effortlessly, unlike me. I

54:44

was to put it politely: someone

54:46

intense, which is a circuitous way

54:48

of saying frigid, That's. A

54:50

boy when said I had an inscrutable says

54:52

a com and I would have gladly ascribe

54:55

to racism if it weren't for the fact

54:57

that I have spent my entire life in

54:59

various neighborhoods of the United States where Chinese

55:01

Americans outnumbered the white kids. However,

55:03

and luckily for me, I was

55:05

also in the same narrow science

55:07

major as me, an unusually good

55:09

at neurochemistry. She liked my sense

55:12

of black humor and running commentary well

55:14

enough, But what she really likes was.

55:16

That I was willing to do her problem

55:18

sets for her in exchange for getting to

55:20

sit at the kitchen table of her apartment

55:22

with a rotating cast of her friends as

55:24

he made a full dinner and talked about

55:26

working with low income twice disabled veterans with

55:28

single moms or whatever hippie granola shitless her

55:30

post grad plan. He. A meal

55:33

was all about helping people. That's

55:35

what made it so much more startling

55:38

when on our third conversation as knowing

55:40

each other see easily admitted to being

55:42

suicidally depressed for most of her teenage

55:44

years. She told me

55:46

so because at the time I recently

55:48

landed a research position that a narrow

55:50

signed clinic studying the brains of young

55:52

adults suffering clinical depression. See.

55:54

It used to be that I tell people that

55:56

I was neuroscience major because I enjoy the study

55:59

of human behavior. And. Then I'd miss

56:01

myself imply that that I was mostly because

56:03

I wasn't quite good enough. A discrete. Mathematics

56:05

to pull off a Cs degree and

56:07

passionate silicone valley. But. Over

56:10

time I'd been fascinated with how little

56:12

we knew about the very things we

56:14

relied on to study anything. It's of

56:16

me as a person who prided herself

56:18

and her self awareness as a shocking

56:21

blindness for species has. Every month

56:23

my p I a mildly distinguished and

56:25

very tenured professor who as a result

56:27

in give a fuck about anything but

56:29

maybe as research in some senses life

56:31

said as far. As I could tell, throw

56:33

a dart board, full exam articles and take

56:36

a new task. Then. I

56:38

and the other undergraduate conscript would spend

56:40

weeks processing and take for volunteers p

56:42

Twenty an hour to answer survey questions

56:44

or is the p I wrote a

56:47

very good grant proposal, hooking up forty

56:49

in our volunteers with electrodes. Luckily.

56:52

The narrow science division at the school was

56:54

always flush with funding. Because professors like David

56:56

Whittaker worked harder and we're in the news

56:58

more. We. Did everything phones

57:01

exercise, drinking orange juice in the

57:03

mornings, talking to your mom on

57:05

the phone, anything working, more work,

57:07

and last drinking more red wine,

57:09

smoking more exotic substances, and even

57:11

on one notable occasion clearing people

57:13

recovering from did psyllids hating viral

57:15

illness is on their levels of

57:17

anxiety or depression while wearing university

57:20

issue hazmat suits. Sudden. Nothing

57:22

broke new ground. Any, it's

57:24

in my brain the same thing that

57:26

propelled explores to the Arctic Circle in

57:28

the curious to their lavatories. Remained

57:30

unseen. It. David

57:32

Whittaker two doors Down with discovering.

57:35

That the mind, body dualism. Was real

57:37

and that consciousness could be divorced from the

57:39

brain. We were trying to see if

57:41

a lemon juice cleanse the six. Anxiety. If

57:43

they were close to put it lightly beginning

57:45

to get on for selling. For. The

57:47

most part, the school just grudgingly take our

57:49

lab money and ignored us when they weren't

57:51

featuring on their website. Signing.

58:00

The main gate. Could

58:03

you imagine me or nearly had

58:05

to shout over the hunk of

58:07

traffic on the bridge beyond the

58:09

horn as a cure? Sea gulls

58:11

harmonizing with her squawking. Month.

58:14

You put in however many years it has

58:16

to do a Phd. Usually six.

58:19

Six years into the with

58:22

this professor and then they

58:24

don't graduate. New. Igloos

58:26

it. I'd be like not

58:28

going to preserve move. On

58:30

and probably never get a job because as a

58:32

six year in my work. Experience. She

58:36

lots of specific last of a college

58:38

student who knew she wasn't brilliant enough

58:40

for grad school Anyways, staring down the

58:42

barrel, Graduating into social work. We're. Our

58:45

humble supportively as I could. As

58:47

my gay straight to the back of her boyfriend has.

58:50

A Flavor of the month looks a lot like the

58:52

one she'd had for break up The Go but me

58:54

as case, was just specific enough that I'd spent the

58:56

whole ride trying to work out of. She got back

58:58

together with an axe. Are just picked another

59:00

loser with a dirty blonde man. Been out of a

59:03

discount than out warmer. In

59:05

all the time I know near my only been

59:07

demoted to the back seat for a couple of

59:09

her half dozen flings. She. Was

59:11

really compromising standards. Of this

59:13

was the third. Printed

59:15

pressing. Your only

59:17

options are to work at some bullshit

59:19

job and get exploited. Doesn't work at

59:22

a real job and still get exposed

59:24

to death. Oh. You're

59:26

really hiding me up for

59:28

a social worker career. Ha!

59:30

Talk about thankless exploitation. You

59:33

know how in the fifties that give you a watches

59:35

something when you retire see you can. Now.

59:38

Down the minutes he got less mature. Me

59:41

afflict her turn signal on and rocketed

59:43

us to the leftmost lane forgot to

59:45

turn it off. the steady taking kept

59:48

metronome time. Count down the

59:50

minutes you have left on life for something. You

59:53

know that? I bet they get

59:55

social workers now when they retire.

59:57

And for that, third, as. What

1:00:00

are you said? Mates for social workers? To

1:00:03

New Light. Not back there. Seriously.

1:00:05

Jesus, I'm sorry I said whatever

1:00:07

I did to start this conversation.

1:00:10

Know Tyler, it's. Fine, I think

1:00:13

it's interesting. First. Season or

1:00:15

a science researcher so spends her time

1:00:17

thinking about this anyways. Are

1:00:19

you work on the yard? That.

1:00:22

Marine reading seeing. Now

1:00:25

and that's David Whitaker lab and his

1:00:27

preliminary consciousness. The section isn't really mind

1:00:29

reading, it's like skimming the surface to

1:00:31

thought to see thanks to set all

1:00:33

independent of neural phones. And

1:00:35

the neuroscience research or he specializes

1:00:37

in suicide or I think they were

1:00:40

not really supposed self and just a

1:00:42

person. It's unethical to follow

1:00:44

suicides. You. Sound like you're

1:00:46

mad about. Just.

1:00:49

Depression. Tyler sona

1:00:51

to supercilious for my taste, considering

1:00:53

that in the time we'd spent

1:00:55

together, he said one thing to

1:00:57

indicate any higher intelligence than that,

1:00:59

adults. And Aspires Hill. Tyler.

1:01:02

You know what Unit seven

1:01:04

three One was known? Yeah,

1:01:07

you wouldn't see it. During World

1:01:09

War Two, the Japanese engaged in

1:01:11

human experimentation. They push their Chinese

1:01:13

prisoners to their absolute limits, set

1:01:15

their arms and water instead them

1:01:17

outside in the winter until their

1:01:19

limbs broke off to up resistance

1:01:21

indexes to frostbite using the time

1:01:23

it took. For three day old instance

1:01:26

to freeze to death for form see

1:01:28

the sections on prisoners without anesthetics, raped

1:01:30

women to study as t eyes and

1:01:32

then again for fun. Do.

1:01:35

You know, tyler, What the United

1:01:37

States did. When Japan eventually

1:01:39

surrendered. Say.

1:01:42

Granted those scientists immunity.

1:01:45

Know why I didn't wait for

1:01:47

Thailand and. The

1:01:49

taking of the turn signal caps on in the

1:01:51

background as me as stayed. Silent see new

1:01:53

are I've It's only. Because

1:01:56

we wanted to know to. Whatever

1:01:58

Tyler was about to say in response to

1:02:00

that. Much I have been hoping would

1:02:02

be as inadequate as I anticipated was

1:02:04

cut off when a body fill in

1:02:06

front of me a slam the brakes

1:02:09

throwing us all forward with such intensity

1:02:11

and speed that I saw my risk

1:02:13

catching myself against Tyler's had rest. From

1:02:15

one screen. We quickly

1:02:17

got out of the current finally putting the

1:02:20

ticking turn signal service with the slams of

1:02:22

the car doors. And gathered around

1:02:24

the hood of the car were not more

1:02:26

than a foot from the front tires. Know.

1:02:28

The splattered remains of a person. His

1:02:31

school had cracked open like. A Smashing

1:02:33

Pumpkins Brains carpeting. The Road

1:02:35

with a six months. Eyes

1:02:38

bulged out of his head,

1:02:40

dislodged from their sockets. His

1:02:42

body pancakes by the fall

1:02:44

almost had him twisted and

1:02:46

supplication. We. Should call Nine one

1:02:48

one. Me: As Voice

1:02:50

is seriously com assign sites.

1:02:54

I glanced over. Her. Lips

1:02:56

were pressed together, eyes open,

1:02:58

wide cysts as her side.

1:03:01

Tyler. Didn't move. So. I

1:03:03

did. The cops came and

1:03:05

sound is lined up on the curb

1:03:08

like children knees around our ears. Statements

1:03:10

took hours of waiting and minutes

1:03:13

of talking. And we all

1:03:15

piled into the car and wrote home in

1:03:17

silence. Do. You think it's

1:03:19

like. A serial killer

1:03:21

or something like to in

1:03:24

as many days. It's

1:03:26

like there's a serial killer on campus.

1:03:28

Their senses. Their cctv footage

1:03:31

with Simon hanging himself. It's

1:03:33

more likely a suicide cluster. When a

1:03:35

depressed person sees one person commits suicide,

1:03:37

it becomes more real as an option

1:03:40

for them. And they do it too.

1:03:42

Near. homes staring into the

1:03:45

distance. What do you think

1:03:47

was going to their heads And they did it.

1:03:50

If you have been up to the would occur machine. That

1:03:53

which you see. Nobody. Knows.

1:03:56

I pulled up the chair across from her. No.

1:03:59

Ethics committee. The world would be okay with

1:04:01

that. She was silence again

1:04:03

for a while for eyes bouncing around the

1:04:05

room as she worked through something in her

1:04:07

head. Finally she looked

1:04:09

back at me. What

1:04:12

do you think is securing argument? The

1:04:14

Killing our human. What do

1:04:16

you think is the argument they make

1:04:18

themselves. That so priests were

1:04:21

cystic, killed themselves So first. I

1:04:24

turned to spare mug over and over

1:04:26

again in my hands. My

1:04:28

fingernails rasps against ceramics.

1:04:31

And ugly noise. What'd

1:04:33

she say to yourself when you are

1:04:35

in high school? Maybe.

1:04:38

It's just. Maybe it's

1:04:40

snowing? You are right back then. Me:

1:04:43

As stared into the distance. Finally,

1:04:46

she swallowed. And said

1:04:48

what she must have been mulling over for months.

1:04:51

If I was right. That

1:04:54

means that really never does get better. I

1:04:57

feel like this. Forever. Maybe.

1:05:03

Later. That evening I will

1:05:05

stare listlessly on my reflection. Washing

1:05:08

my hands with the fancy for me

1:05:10

so me a starter Bathroom less. Than.

1:05:13

Trying my hands, Of

1:05:15

the swing the near open to examine

1:05:17

the little orange bottles lined up like

1:05:19

soldiers in the medicine cabinet. I'll

1:05:22

make my selection carefully. I'll

1:05:24

place it on the think countertop. I

1:05:27

knew what I was doing. I

1:05:31

will spare you the details of the

1:05:33

midnight phone call. Me A

1:05:36

deserves more dignity than a dispassionate

1:05:38

retelling of or snowed in tears

1:05:40

and terrifying concessions. To many pills and a

1:05:42

moment of. Weeks. I

1:05:48

think I might have loved her moments. Neither

1:05:50

of those facts change when I did.

1:05:53

We drove to the neuroscience clinics. My

1:05:55

bad let us in after hours though

1:05:57

by then me I had already be.

1:06:00

Gurgling through slowed breathing. A

1:06:02

skin slicks. Oxygen

1:06:05

starved brain was stuttering. It's way to

1:06:07

the and a ticking clock of maybe

1:06:09

three minutes. I was propping

1:06:11

her up by the time legal to the

1:06:13

elevators are frames leaning into each others. Such

1:06:15

that are still shadows cast and ghoulish.

1:06:18

Paul. And slowly. The.

1:06:20

Sample together. A

1:06:22

two headed monster on a single

1:06:24

minded pass for David. What occurs.

1:06:26

Lox, It see eternal

1:06:28

question for humanity isn't it? I

1:06:31

wanted to know. Oh, I want to know so

1:06:33

badly that I was willing to sacrifice the. Only

1:06:35

girl who'd ever extended. Her hands me

1:06:37

I was willing to take whatever murder charge

1:06:39

they'd stick to me just to be the

1:06:41

first to see. Of course,

1:06:44

I wasn't thinking about the future consequences

1:06:46

as I hooked me up to the

1:06:48

miracle mind reading seen. I

1:06:50

wasn't much of anything. It

1:06:52

was wrote hugging her up to the

1:06:54

electrodes, covering lobes, registering the readings, The.

1:06:57

Machine hum like an Intel acquires

1:06:59

turned on. The gentle percocet

1:07:01

path of me as faltering brain readings

1:07:04

providing the back and beat. She.

1:07:07

Was dying. But. It was slow.

1:07:09

I've admitted to what comes next

1:07:12

dozens of times and deposition and

1:07:14

testimony, the cops, and to my

1:07:16

P I looking my parents in

1:07:18

the eyes and me as to

1:07:20

even it's a uniquely awful admission

1:07:23

each time around. He. The

1:07:25

now stranger. For. Me:

1:07:27

I was dying fast enough on that near

1:07:29

a lot that. Are golden hair fans

1:07:31

out around her like a halo. So I grabbed

1:07:33

the pillow from behind her head and sold it

1:07:35

to her face. and I wasn't even looking at

1:07:38

her as she died. I

1:07:40

was looking at the machine would a

1:07:42

curse of fucking known said he. Says

1:07:44

the temptation it presented. The

1:07:46

eternal damn quest. Sit. Unit

1:07:49

Seven Three One never managed to get

1:07:51

further than the flesh of it. the

1:07:53

how and where and why a body

1:07:55

died But me, if. I

1:07:57

know what happens to her. So now. the

1:08:00

real you. Mia's

1:08:02

consciousness didn't flutter and wink out

1:08:04

of existence like her brain. It

1:08:06

persisted, undimmed, unrelenting.

1:08:11

I can only imagine it would be

1:08:13

as if you were suddenly suspended in

1:08:15

sensory deprivation, unable to see, hear, taste,

1:08:17

or touch anything new ever again as

1:08:19

your body rots around you at the

1:08:22

scale of centuries. Mia's

1:08:24

consciousness showed no signs of degradation

1:08:26

over the course of nearly five

1:08:28

weeks. The implication, of

1:08:30

course, is that it likely never will.

1:08:33

None of us will. This is a

1:08:35

trap, leaving us unable to

1:08:38

do anything but rifle through the memories

1:08:40

of our lives ad nauseam, re-litigating

1:08:42

each regret and combing through each

1:08:44

fault we had. And even when

1:08:47

we're done with that, we'll still have eternity

1:08:49

to reckon with. It's a purgatory.

1:08:52

One that I've consigned Mia to, and

1:08:54

one that, when I am consigned in turn,

1:08:57

I will spend eternity in, reckoning

1:08:59

with those two decisions that my life

1:09:01

will now forever hinge on. But

1:09:04

I only sat there watching her readings

1:09:06

for fourteen hours before anyone found me.

1:09:09

It was after I was taken into

1:09:11

custody that I heard they kept her

1:09:13

hooked up to the machine for over

1:09:15

a month before returning her body to

1:09:18

the family. Bloated to unrecognizability, her teeth

1:09:20

falling out of her head, her skin

1:09:22

waxy with ruptured blisters and anointed with

1:09:24

bodily fluid. They

1:09:26

kept Mia rigor mortis on

1:09:28

the bed for thirty-three more

1:09:31

days. Because they

1:09:34

wanted to know too. Our

1:10:19

campfire is growing dim and

1:10:22

the light of dawn approaches. Our

1:10:25

tales must come to an end

1:10:27

until the next time we gather. We'll

1:10:30

keep the fire burning until you

1:10:33

return. That is, if you

1:10:36

dare to remain sleepless.

1:10:42

The No Sleep Podcast is

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presented by Creative Reason Media.

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The musical score was composed

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1:10:58

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