0:13

From our earliest days, we've

0:15

gathered around the fire for

0:17

warmth and comfort. But

0:20

beyond the light of the dying

0:22

embers, there is

0:25

the darkness. And

0:28

it's in the darkness of the

0:30

night where we find ourselves. Waiting,

0:35

yearning for the dawn to banish

0:37

our fears. But

0:40

our campfire holds more than

0:42

firelight. For with

0:44

us, you will hear the

0:46

tales that make the nightmares engulf

0:49

you. And

0:51

you dare not close your

0:53

eyes. Embrace

0:57

yourself for the

1:00

No Sleep Podcast. Welcome

1:09

to the No Sleep Podcast. I'm

1:12

your host, David Cummings. You

1:15

know how there's a slang way to say something was

1:17

really great? Like you go to a

1:19

show and when you're asked how it was, you say, ah

1:22

dude, it was a killer show. When

1:25

stand up comedians do a really good

1:28

set, people say they killed. Maybe

1:30

you do a really good presentation at

1:32

work and afterwards a coworker tells you,

1:35

you killed it. Isn't

1:37

it odd how we take the concept of

1:39

killing something and turn it into something positive?

1:42

I guess language is funny like that. Almost

1:45

as funny as when someone actually kills

1:47

someone else. I

1:50

pretend murder is funny for horror purposes only.

1:53

But yes, this is a horror podcast.

1:55

And so this week we present tales

1:57

featuring people who see fit to take

1:59

it. take the life, or lives,

2:01

of other people. It's

2:04

hard to imagine what drives someone to do that.

2:06

It also makes me wonder why we as

2:09

a society have become so desensitized to it.

2:11

I mean, for the most part, that is.

2:14

I'll give you a glimpse behind the curtain here. Over

2:17

the years I have received some angry

2:19

emails from listeners when the content of

2:22

certain stories upsets them. If

2:24

you take a look at the trigger warnings

2:26

we've implemented, they try to warn people about

2:28

the topics which upset people the most. Things

2:31

like the death of children or animals.

2:34

Things like sexual or parental

2:36

abuse, suicide, all things

2:38

some people want to be forewarned about. And

2:41

if they're not, I get angry letters. But

2:44

I've often wondered, with so many of the stories

2:46

we've done in the almost 13 years of

2:49

the show, I've never had anyone upset

2:51

by a story with a plain old

2:54

ordinary murder, even when the

2:56

killing is calculated, cold-blooded, or overly

2:58

cruel. It seems murder

3:00

and killing is an accepted part of horror.

3:03

I suppose that's good for horror creators,

3:06

but I wonder if it means we

3:08

as a collective society have become a

3:10

little too blase about it. Let

3:13

me know what you think in the comments

3:15

below, and don't forget to subscribe and smash

3:17

that like button. And

3:20

so we hope that this episode

3:22

about killers will leave you saying

3:24

that episode killed. It

3:27

would be the most frightening response, after all.

3:30

And now the sun has set,

3:32

the fire glows bright. Brace

3:35

yourself for the darkness of

3:37

the night. In

3:43

our first tale, we meet Bobby,

3:46

a prison guard who has been chosen

3:48

to flip the switch which will execute

3:50

a convicted killer. But

3:52

Bobby is human, after all, and he's

3:55

conflicted by this assignment. And

3:58

in this tale, shared with us by author

4:00

Andrew Punzo. We learn that all

4:02

attempts to help Bobby deal with

4:05

this profound task aren't

4:07

helping his conscience much at all.

4:10

Performing this tale are Reagan

4:13

Tacker, Jesse Cornette, Sarah Thomas,

4:16

Atticus Jackson, and Mike

4:18

Delgaudio. So there

4:20

may be some ultimate truth out there

4:22

to contend with, but for now you

4:24

have to accept that liars lie. When

4:41

Getty Robinson came into the chamber, he

4:43

was still screaming that he ain't doing a damn thing.

4:46

About an hour back his voice had gone hoarse

4:49

on him and his eyes rolled all like a

4:51

wild mare in a thunderstorm. Didn't

4:53

make my job any easier, but

4:55

it was really Warden Nast who wasn't helping none.

4:59

Liars lie.

5:02

Ben Killa's fry. He'd

5:05

said it for about the 20th time through his

5:07

black hood, nodding as Getty's arms

5:09

were tethered and the pan with the sponge soaked

5:11

in brine was strapped to his head. I was

5:14

sweating through my own hood, suffocating

5:17

myself in fabric that turned hot and

5:19

heavy in a second flat. Wasn't

5:21

just the heat. I never had any

5:24

qualms with working in a prison, but

5:26

after we drew matches for the electrocution,

5:29

I told the Warden I had some hesitations.

5:32

Now look here, Bobby. He

5:34

sat me down in a big leather chair

5:36

across his desk. The other

5:38

guards had left and I was still looking at

5:41

the headless matchstick. Wondering how it

5:43

was I got there. Ain't

5:45

two ways about it. Man's

5:47

been tried by a jury, full and

5:50

fair, and his appeal went to the

5:52

Texas Supreme Court. I

5:54

even spoke with Les and Tricia at the

5:56

ACLU and they said they'd about thrown in

5:58

the towel on it. too, and

6:01

you know those folks in me don't always

6:03

see eye to eye. I

6:05

know. I shift it in

6:07

the chair, sticking to it through

6:09

my tan prison tights. Listen,

6:13

I know you're a Christian man, but

6:16

this ain't the way you're making it out to be.

6:19

You ain't throwing a pistol to his head. You

6:21

ain't sitting down on the beach while he

6:24

drowns. All you're doing

6:26

is flipping the switch. Like

6:30

turning on your kitchen light. That's

6:33

all it is. He

6:36

paused before he said what he swore sideways

6:38

was in the Bible. Besides,

6:42

liars lie and killers

6:45

fry. Ain't that

6:47

how it's written? Getty's legs

6:50

were bound while three faceless guards held

6:52

his arms and shoulders. He

6:54

was a lean fellow. Couldn't have been more

6:56

than a buck 60, no taller

6:58

than 5'10, mid-50s or

7:01

thereabouts. But seeing

7:03

the chair made him superhuman. Must

7:05

have been four, five guards working him over with their

7:08

billy sticks in the aunt's room just to get him

7:10

through the door. I'd never seen a

7:12

man put up a fight like that. The

7:15

day before the execution, I'd

7:17

gone back into Warden Nast's office. I

7:20

was feeling sick to my stomach all week. Can't

7:23

seem to get on over it, huh, Bobbie?

7:26

Well, all due

7:28

respect, Mr. Nast. He says

7:30

he's innocent. I ain't changed

7:32

his tune once in all these years. I still

7:35

don't feel right being the one to pull the

7:37

switch on him. I mean, ain't

7:40

that just the same as the what

7:42

Daniel Jennings keeps saying when they couldn't

7:44

find them girls? The next

7:46

thing you know, they're pulling them up by the

7:49

pigtails out of his well. And

7:51

how about Macy Morgan and all

7:53

that business about taking the collar

7:56

and being reformed and on the

7:58

evil parole he strangles. blessed

8:00

with the blue flaming rosary.

8:03

I remember. He pulled

8:05

out a paisley kerchief that was as

8:07

red as his plum-blooded face. Well,

8:10

you do well to remember this, Bobby.

8:17

Liars. Lie.

8:20

Gettysman snapped loose from its tethers and

8:22

something silver flashed from his sock before

8:24

anyone could get a hold of him.

8:27

The guard scrambled out of his way and

8:29

the warden hollered and I jacked down, no

8:32

less a reflex than the compunction that I

8:34

felt turning in my belly up to my

8:36

gullet, hanging down my tubes like

8:38

a lead snake. Lighting

8:40

arced and cracked and the loose arm

8:43

flailed and the clamoring and hollering didn't

8:45

stop until Getty stopped jiving and the

8:47

black, such stink of quarter-cooked meat filled

8:49

the air. The fork that

8:51

Getty had sharpened down into a shiv

8:54

lay near warden's ass feet. Metal

8:56

tinged with purple and black rings,

8:58

still coursing with an edge of

9:00

blue electricity. The

9:02

killers fry.

9:08

I couldn't sleep that night and

9:10

Francine saw I was distressed. I

9:13

didn't like to talk work with her, but

9:15

she'd read the newspaper and the buzz about

9:17

Getty had been all over town two weeks

9:20

before the paper scooped in. You

9:22

ain't done nothing bad now, Bobby. She

9:25

rubbed my shoulders above the sheets. I

9:28

know. Well then why can't you rest your

9:31

eyes? I know.

9:33

Every time I closed them, I

9:36

saw the fork fall into the floor,

9:38

dancing live with blue sparks. Well

9:41

maybe you can go see Pastor Dowd sometime

9:43

this week. He'll set you straight.

9:46

I hope that you need setting. You're

9:48

as straight as is. I

9:50

know. He was a bad man,

9:52

Bobby. The fork proves it. Can't

9:55

you imagine what he would have done with it had

9:58

you ain't flipped the switch on him? I

10:00

don't know. The

10:04

next morning I was up before her and walking

10:06

out on the street. Warden

10:08

had let me off for the week, paying all. Normally

10:12

I'd have been happy to sleep in, but when

10:14

I woke near dawn, sleep wouldn't come to me.

10:17

I wasn't keen on going out, but just

10:19

lying there thinking was too much. Besides,

10:24

Francine needed her waitress and uniforms picked

10:26

up. At first

10:28

it was nice to be out of doors, but

10:31

ours is an early rising town and more than

10:33

a few folks passed me by on the street.

10:36

They knew me and I knew them, and it

10:39

seemed they knew what I'd done. The

10:41

way their heads turned and followed me, the

10:44

way their eyes lingered on a little too long.

10:47

They still said hello just the same. There

10:50

was a heaviness that ain't been there the day before.

10:54

I felt marked. I felt

10:56

like how Getty must have felt, walking down

10:58

the hall to the execution chamber. I

11:01

pushed the door to the cleaners open and

11:03

slipped inside, glad to be off the street.

11:06

I had expected to see Clement behind the

11:08

counter, someone who could give a

11:11

left hand about the gossip armen around town,

11:13

but he wasn't there. Instead, it

11:16

was a man about my age who I'd

11:18

never seen before. Morning.

11:21

Morning. What can I do for you? Where's

11:24

Clem? Out sick. I'm

11:27

his son-in-law, Jordan. Are you

11:29

all right? You don't want me

11:31

saying. I nodded and

11:34

put my hands on the counter, picking

11:36

up uniforms from a wife. I

11:39

handed him the ticket. He

11:42

went to the mechanical garment rack, working

11:44

the foot pedal to move the plastic shrouded

11:46

clothes along the track. It whirred

11:48

and the clothes wished as they moved. For

11:51

a while, that's all there was other

11:53

than the silence. It's

11:55

the big C. Pardon?

11:58

Clem. Sick with

12:00

the big C. He's got

12:02

cancer?" The rack stopped

12:04

moving and Jordan looked down at his foot.

12:08

I shouldn't have said nothing. Just

12:11

been weighing on my mind like you

12:13

wouldn't believe. I can

12:15

believe. He found

12:17

the uniforms, pulled them off, and placed them

12:19

on the counter. Two

12:21

forty. I put up the

12:23

bills and while he made change he looked once

12:25

more at the ticket and then looked at me.

12:29

Your wife Francine? Yes.

12:32

That makes you Bobby. It

12:34

does. Mind if I ask you

12:36

something? Already

12:38

started to gather up the clothes because I knew

12:40

I was about to hear something I wouldn't want

12:43

to. You're the man who

12:45

did it on Getty? I

12:47

said nothing. My hands felt

12:49

hot. I wondered why they bothered

12:51

to make us wear the hoods in the chamber. I

12:55

can appreciate that. I

12:58

can't make sense of how

13:00

it's come to be a cleanse time so soon

13:02

when that horseen takes sixteen

13:04

years to fry. I

13:07

turned toward the door, waving the change

13:09

on the counter. I

13:11

ain't looking for answers. Just

13:14

been weighing on my mind like you

13:16

wouldn't believe. I

13:21

went straight home and gave Francine

13:23

her uniforms and stayed indoors

13:25

for four whole days. I

13:28

tried the television and books and magazines to

13:30

take my mind off of things but

13:32

the images and words just sort of washed

13:35

over and out of me rather than take

13:37

on any real meaning. I

13:39

didn't feel right. Half the

13:41

time I'd walk into a room and not know

13:43

why I went in and the other half I'd

13:45

find myself in a room and not know how

13:47

I got there. Francine came

13:49

and went but we didn't talk

13:52

much and I'd turn no calls. On

13:54

the fifth day I gave up and went

13:56

to see Pastor Dowd. It

13:58

was hot and dusty outside. side, but the

14:01

church was cool stone, wood, and

14:03

dulled-leaded glass. Me and

14:05

Pastor said in our father, and then I told

14:07

him what the trouble was. I

14:10

asked if he'd hear a confession, but he

14:12

said he wouldn't because that was a matter

14:14

between me and God, and in any case

14:16

I hadn't committed a sin he'd ever heard

14:18

of. I said I'd

14:20

feel better if he did anyway. He

14:23

sighed and afterward sat me down in

14:25

his office. Robert,

14:28

Getty Robinson was a bad man,

14:31

a very bad man. Yes,

14:33

sir. Warden and my wife says

14:35

the same, even the ACLU. Yes,

14:38

he would have done more bad things. He

14:42

would have hurt more people, and God only

14:44

knows how many more. You saw the fork. Yes,

14:46

sir. That ain't wrong, and I don't doubt

14:48

it now, but my point is

14:51

I'm having a hesitation I can't get over.

14:54

I never once wanted to kill a man, even a

14:56

bad one, but I flipped

14:58

the switch, and in my

15:00

way of thinking, that's just the same. He

15:04

labored mightily over his next sentence.

15:08

Do you know the trolley dilemma?

15:11

No. See, my seminary believed

15:13

philosophy every bit as important as the

15:15

study of God. I

15:17

nodded, not willing to speak and ruin the

15:19

spell that Pastor Dowd would get to working

15:21

himself into when he gave a good sermon.

15:24

It's a moral dilemma, a thought experiment.

15:27

You're on a trolley that's going down a track,

15:30

flying down it so fast that up ahead comes

15:32

quicker than you'd like, and looking to your side,

15:34

all you see is a blur, and

15:36

you can't stop because the brake is broken. No.

15:40

There's five men working on the track up ahead,

15:42

and they don't know you're coming, because the whistle's

15:44

broken too, but there's

15:46

a switch on the trolley, and you have time to

15:49

hit that switch before you come up on those five

15:51

men. And if you hit the switch, the

15:53

trolley goes down a fork in the track where there's only

15:55

one man working. See,

15:57

so there's no choice. Morally. You

16:00

need to hit the switch. Morally, it's

16:02

the right thing to kill one to

16:04

save five." I

16:06

sat, still in quiet. I

16:09

took his point and I wasn't confused, but he'd

16:11

been expecting I would have jumped up and hollered

16:13

Jehovah like a man who had a coming to

16:15

moment. So, it's just like

16:18

you flipping that switch. You had

16:20

to kill one to save more. No one

16:22

had fought you for that. There's no moral

16:24

wrong. You didn't do a bad thing. Matter

16:27

of it is, you did a good thing. The

16:29

best thing. Yes, sir. Warden

16:32

and my wife says the same. Never mind

16:35

the fact that Getty's trolley was a long

16:37

time coming. You said it yourself

16:39

that even the ACLU agrees. It's

16:41

like how your warden over there puts it. Liars

16:44

lie and killers fry. That's

16:47

the best five-word summary the Old Testament is all

16:49

over here. But it ain't

16:51

in the Old Testament. Well, no.

16:55

You ought to tell that to him. Your

16:58

doubt shifted and he coughed play and kept looking

17:00

at me down his nose. Is

17:02

there anything else, Robert? What

17:04

about jumping? What's that? Ain't

17:07

the whole mess avoided by jumping? From

17:10

what? From the trolley. I

17:12

ain't much for philosophy, but I'd have judged it

17:15

you could have just jumped off the trolley in

17:17

the first instance to solve the whole mess. The

17:19

five men would still die, Robert. You

17:22

wouldn't solve anything. Sorry,

17:24

pastor. I was meaning for the trolley

17:26

driver. Solves the whole mess for him.

17:29

He doesn't need to flip the switch and kill nobody,

17:31

and the trolley just does what it was going to

17:33

do all along, at least according

17:35

to your hypothetical. Pastor

17:38

Dow's mouth opened, slow and

17:40

careful like always, but this time

17:42

no words came out. How'd

17:47

the meeting with Pastor Dow go? Good.

17:50

Well, how are you feeling? Feeling

17:53

right as rain. I'm

17:55

seeing beamed. See? I

17:58

knew that would do you well. But that's

18:00

something I always knew I Nodded

18:03

as she stood and began clearing dishes

18:05

for dessert when the phone rang and

18:07

she ran off to the living room I

18:09

turned my attention more fully to the fork I'd

18:13

been fixing on it all dinner the

18:15

last bits of smoked pork hanging on its tines

18:18

Tines that I had no trouble bending. I Bent

18:22

all but one and held it up Marveling

18:24

at the sleek silver shape of it as it

18:27

flashed and the like like a creek shiner So

18:30

kind for asking he's doing just

18:32

fine. Fine Matter

18:35

of fact Warden earth, he'll be even

18:37

better knowing you had it in your heart to call on him

18:40

I stood and shuffled into the kitchen where the

18:42

devil's food was cooling on the sill The

18:45

pork sat wet pink and charred

18:47

on the cutting board Using

18:50

the shiv I turned on the light switch

18:52

and stood looking at the electrical outlet next

18:54

to it on the wall Well,

18:56

you know him warden, you know my Bobby

19:00

He's a man of principles Upstanding

19:02

is putting at least mr. Nast I'm

19:05

talking about scruples about true

19:07

morality and he's always been that

19:09

way something these

19:11

politicians Yet he

19:13

got what he deserved his trolley

19:16

was a long time coming and

19:18

besides that he was guilty of sin I

19:21

closed my eyes and saw blue sparks dancing

19:23

on the edge of the shiv again purpling

19:26

black rings like the space between the

19:28

stars Of course,

19:30

you're a man who knows a thing or two

19:32

about morals. Mr. Nast What's

19:34

that line? You're always saying Pastor

19:36

doubt even used it preaching. I Felt

19:39

my arm stretching forward and

19:41

the Getty smell in the kitchen became heavy

19:44

and putrid Mm-hmm. That's

19:46

right Liars lie. I

19:49

open my eyes and killers

19:58

You Don't

20:20

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20:25

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now back to the campfire, we've got

22:06

something to get off our chest. Sometimes,

22:17

no matter how good your intentions

22:19

are, things take an unexpected turn

22:21

into the darkness. Just

22:24

ask Mark, who set out to do good

22:26

and ended up having to tell us where

22:28

it all went wrong. And

22:31

in this tale, shared with us by

22:33

author C. Lenz, we hear Mark tell

22:35

us that after all these things that

22:37

I've done, sometimes the

22:40

guilt is overwhelming for everyone.

22:44

Performing this tale is Jeff

22:46

Clement. So they

22:48

say the road to hell is paved

22:50

with good intentions. I'm sure Mark will

22:53

agree, as he shares the

22:55

confession. My

23:10

name is Mark Dunn. I live

23:12

in apartment 102, 23... Oh,

23:17

you just need me to say my name. Okay.

23:21

In the confession. Right. Well,

23:25

like I said, you're gonna be disappointed. I'm

23:28

gonna confess, but not to

23:30

murder. What

23:32

happened was, I guess

23:34

you'd say, an accident. It

23:37

was... I'm not

23:40

sure how to describe it. I

23:42

mean, I didn't mean for it to

23:44

happen. Hell, I

23:46

called the ambulance. Right. Fine.

23:51

I'll just start at

23:53

the beginning. I

23:56

broke into Gerald Sharp's suite pretty

23:58

easily. don't

24:00

really pay that much attention to who comes and

24:02

goes and who's on what floor. And

24:05

those card readers they have, they aren't super

24:07

secure. It

24:09

was a huge suite, and it

24:11

didn't look like Sharpe was using most of the

24:13

rooms, so I hid it in one of the

24:16

ones without any luggage or anything until he was

24:18

back and waited until he went to sleep. I

24:22

had a knife because I

24:24

figured it would be more intimidating. I

24:27

wasn't planning on killing him, but

24:29

a knife looks like you're planning on keeping it

24:31

quiet and getting away with it. Huh?

24:36

No. Obviously I didn't

24:38

have a personal connection with Gerald

24:40

Sharpe. Does it

24:43

look like we'd hang out? Well,

24:45

yeah, of course I knew of him.

24:48

Don't you? You know how I knew

24:50

of him. Do I really need to

24:52

tell you? From

24:55

the news, geez. His

24:57

company bought a patent for an HIV medication

25:00

and upped the price by 6,000% so

25:04

that now anyone living with HIV can't

25:06

afford to, you know, live.

25:10

No, I don't think he deserved to die for that.

25:13

Not really. No,

25:15

I didn't. Even if

25:17

he was killing people, like actively

25:19

at all times. You

25:22

ever heard that hypothetical question about whether you'd

25:24

push a button for a million dollars but

25:27

one random person who you'd never met will

25:29

die? Yeah, well

25:31

like that Cameron Diaz movie. It

25:34

was a Twilight Zone episode first, you know. Whatever.

25:37

It doesn't matter. Would

25:40

you press it? It

25:42

doesn't matter. Your answer is gonna

25:44

be yes or no. A

25:47

normal, healthy human's answer is gonna be

25:49

yes or no. What

25:52

it's not the fuck gonna be is

25:54

to sit in front of the button and

25:56

wail on it non-stop all

25:59

day every day. But

26:02

that's what Sharp was doing. What?

26:06

No, I told you I don't think

26:08

he deserved to die. Well,

26:11

maybe a little, but not enough

26:13

to actually do it. I

26:16

didn't go there to kill him. Time

26:19

to think of it, is he even dead?

26:23

He was still breathing when I called

26:25

911. Hell, he was still

26:27

standing and I don't know if doing

26:30

that would kill you. Died

26:33

in the ambulance. Fuck.

26:38

Like I said, I didn't murder

26:40

him. And don't give

26:42

me any of that manslaughter bullshit either.

26:44

He did it to himself. All

26:47

I did was give him the spiked water. I

26:51

figured you guys would have known about that by now.

26:54

I guess you haven't had a chance to check his blood yet.

26:58

All right. So after

27:00

I broke in, I

27:02

forced him to drink a bottle of

27:05

water that I dissolved acid and ecstasy

27:07

into beforehand. Why?

27:11

Because I didn't want to get caught blatantly

27:13

carrying a bunch of drugs. Oh,

27:18

why the drugs? Okay,

27:20

so have you ever heard that

27:22

story about the libertarian who took

27:24

ecstasy for the first time, realized

27:27

other people had emotions and totally

27:29

changed his beliefs? Well,

27:32

I thought maybe it would work

27:34

on sharp. DLSD was

27:36

to try to boost the effects and maybe

27:38

cover my ass if he made a statement

27:40

to the police. You

27:43

know, there's a study once where they gave

27:45

half the participants five dollars and gave the

27:47

control group nothing, then told them

27:49

they could either split another five dollars with

27:52

someone else. It was an

27:54

actor, but they thought it was another test participant. Or

27:57

keep all the money. You

28:00

know who agreed to split it? The

28:02

control group. The ones who

28:05

had already been given five dollars kept

28:07

the other five for themselves. I

28:10

swear to God, money

28:12

breaks your brain. If

28:14

five bucks can do that to you, can

28:17

you imagine what it's like to be a

28:19

millionaire? Or, or a

28:21

billionaire? Wealth

28:24

is a mental illness. Fuck

28:28

you, jealousy. Yeah,

28:31

I wish I had a million dollars, so

28:33

does everyone, but I'm not jealous of a

28:35

sick fuck like Sharp. What

28:39

would you do with a million dollars? Or

28:41

whatever amount no one could ever spend in

28:43

their lifetime, no matter how hard they tried?

28:46

Probably like a hundred mil. No,

28:50

come on. I'm trying to prove a point.

28:54

Retire to the Bahamas? Damn,

28:57

that sounds nice. You?

29:01

Travel? Nice. I'd

29:04

quit my job, but I'd like

29:06

to think I'd also start an

29:08

animal shelter. I've

29:10

always fostered pets, but I've only ever had the

29:12

money to do one at a time. And

29:15

yeah, I'd basically pay everyone else to do

29:17

all the actual work, but it's

29:20

still some good in the world. But

29:24

I get it. When people say they'd start a

29:26

business, you know, the people

29:28

who want to design clothes or own

29:30

an art gallery or do something for

29:32

love that they never had a shot

29:35

at until they weren't one paycheck from

29:37

starving. I get it. What

29:40

I don't get. And what you

29:42

guys and I would never do with

29:45

a hundred million dollars is spend all

29:47

our time hanging out with politicians. Trying

29:50

to make sure that that number never

29:52

has to go down. We

29:55

only have a limited amount of time on Earth no

29:57

matter how much money we have. Why

29:59

would we? Why would we waste it on making

30:01

a number go up once the

30:04

number's already big enough that we can't help to

30:06

use it all? No,

30:08

I'm serious. Doesn't that sound sick?

30:12

Like, actually, mentally,

30:15

unwell. Like, what

30:17

kind of intense distress could compel

30:19

you to spend all your time

30:21

in a boardroom with other old,

30:23

rich fucks instead of on a

30:25

beach? Would you

30:27

even want to talk to one of

30:29

those diaper-wearing geezers in Congress for a

30:31

second, let alone go to lunch with

30:33

them? I mean,

30:35

there's something seriously wrong with dudes

30:37

like Gerald Sharp. Okay,

30:40

yeah, if I got rich, I'd

30:42

probably end up doing the same

30:44

thing. That's the point.

30:48

If I did heroin for a week, I'd be

30:50

addicted to that, too. But

30:52

that's not an argument for heroin. Fair

30:56

enough. I'm stalling. What

30:59

can I say? I don't want to relive

31:01

it. You saw

31:03

what happened. Well, actually,

31:07

if you just saw the aftermath... Hey,

31:11

you guys probably have no idea

31:13

what happened. So

31:16

I forced Sharp to drink the

31:18

entire water bottle, watched him

31:20

make sure he swallowed, and

31:22

then I duct-taped him to a chair. Taped

31:25

his mouth shut, too, so he couldn't scream

31:27

for help or try to throw up. And

31:30

then I left the room for

31:33

an hour. To

31:35

let the drugs kick in,

31:37

obviously, and to get him

31:39

good and scared. I

31:42

did leave him with a really vague threat

31:44

about him paying for his crimes. I

31:47

wanted him thinking about what he'd done for this

31:49

to happen to him, what I

31:52

might do to him. Whether

31:54

he'd maybe hurt one of my loved ones.

31:57

You know, just sitting there. I

32:02

was trying to give him the mother of all

32:04

long midnights of the soul So

32:07

I figured he needed some time for

32:09

the uncertainty to really amp him up

32:13

When I came back his

32:15

pupils were huge. I Showed

32:18

him the knife told him not

32:21

to scream and

32:23

ripped the duct tape off I Could

32:26

tell he was high as hell

32:28

cuz he wouldn't stop babbling But

32:31

it was all in this super

32:33

exaggerated whisper Like

32:35

he had no idea what his real volume was

32:37

that I? Figured

32:39

better. He's not being loud cut

32:42

the tape off his arms and legs and shoved

32:44

him into the bathroom It

32:47

made him look into the mirror, and

32:50

I said well

32:52

it I Don't remember

32:54

exactly but pretty much what I've been saying

32:56

to you guys about Some

32:58

stuff about how he had cut himself

33:01

off from humanity in order to profit

33:03

off of death Because he

33:05

couldn't do that while feeling empathy for

33:07

his victims I

33:09

told him that the process was reciprocal

33:12

And it was why no normal

33:14

human could feel empathy for him

33:16

anymore And then I

33:18

told him that he had two choices Either

33:21

look at himself in the mirror and

33:23

fully accept what he'd done Or

33:27

eat it No,

33:29

not like eat it like die

33:33

eat the mirror Although

33:36

I guess I can see why

33:38

he'd be confused And

33:40

that was it. I didn't do anything

33:43

else to him That

33:45

was when I left At

33:48

least tried to Fine

33:51

I'll tell you what happened next, but

33:54

you better get me a court-appointed Psychiatrist

33:57

or something because I never

34:00

have to describe this again unless

34:02

it's to a professional. Okay

34:07

so I'm backing

34:09

out of the bathroom making sure

34:11

Sharp keeps his eyes on the mirror.

34:15

I know it's mean to give someone a bunch of

34:17

drugs and then have them look at themselves in the

34:19

mirror but like I said

34:21

I was trying to give him a long

34:23

dark midnight of the soul. That

34:26

and I didn't want him to try to call for

34:28

help before I was gone. I

34:31

reached the doorway and turned to go. Sharp's

34:34

already crying so I figure I have a bunch of time

34:36

to get out of there but

34:38

the second I look away I hear

34:41

a thud. I

34:43

look back and Sharp

34:45

is punching the mirror over

34:48

and over just hitting the

34:50

same spot until it starts cracking.

34:53

His hands all cut up and parts of the

34:55

glass are falling into the sink and he's just

34:58

sobbing like about how this is

35:00

impossible and how can I expect

35:02

him to eat a mirror and

35:05

stuff. And

35:07

I'm just standing there like dude

35:09

you're missing the point but I

35:12

don't even know if you can hear me. He's

35:14

just scraping shards of the glass out

35:16

of the wall slicing his

35:18

hands open begging me to

35:20

let him stop and I'm screaming

35:22

back about how he can stop

35:25

how it's okay. I don't

35:27

want to do anything to him but

35:29

he starts pounding on the glass on the

35:31

counter like he's trying to crush it up

35:33

really fine like he thinks that

35:35

maybe if it's a powder he can swallow

35:37

it. I think

35:39

he tried to. It was

35:42

hard to tell because the bits of glass were all

35:44

mixed with his blood and it looked thick and junky

35:46

but maybe that's just what

35:48

happens when you're smearing blood everywhere but

35:52

he gathered up like like a

35:54

glob of something and

35:56

shoved it in his mouth and forced

35:58

himself to swallow. There

36:01

was blood all over his face.

36:05

God, I don't know if it was from his hand

36:07

or the scraped shard's glass

36:09

over his skin when he rubbed his hand

36:11

over his mouth, but he

36:13

looked like a mess. And

36:16

then he picks up this one shard. It

36:19

was long, but thin, like

36:21

about the size and shape of a finger. I

36:25

don't know why he thought he could. He

36:29

thought he could just slide it down his

36:31

throat. I... Fuck,

36:35

I have no idea. I'm

36:38

like begging him not to do it at

36:40

this point. I tossed the knife

36:42

onto the ground right next to his feet so he

36:44

knows I'm not a threat anymore so that

36:46

he could threaten me if he wanted it. It...

36:53

Oh, God. There was already

36:55

so much blood dripping down from the

36:57

sink, from his hands, from

36:59

his face. God, I

37:01

could still see the knife just landing

37:04

in that puddle. He

37:07

opens his mouth and

37:09

puts that shard in. Holy

37:13

Christ, I couldn't watch. That

37:16

was when I got out of there and I called

37:18

you guys. I

37:20

could have left, you know? The whole

37:22

time I was on the phone, I could hear his

37:25

gagging and sobbing and all this fucking

37:28

gurgling. And I still

37:30

had to listen to that while I

37:32

was waiting for the ambulance to show up. Jesus

37:36

Christ. All

37:39

I wanted was for him to feel

37:41

all the guilt he truly deserves to

37:43

feel. But

37:45

I guess he wasn't built

37:48

to handle it. I

37:53

wonder if

37:55

anyone is. I

38:25

confess, we have just a short word from

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I should confess something as well. I

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don't have a head for financial stuff. I

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39:45

let's return to the campfire. Keep

39:47

your eyes open for this next story. It

39:58

can be chilling to hear a song. serial killer

40:00

being interviewed about their crimes. You

40:03

can watch them on many documentaries as

40:05

they sit there, usually without much compunction,

40:08

telling us why they did what they

40:10

did to all those victims. And

40:13

in this tale, shared with us

40:15

by author M. Scott, we meet

40:17

an uncommon kind of serial killer,

40:20

a woman who explains why she

40:22

did what she did. Performing

40:26

this tale is Erin Lillis. So

40:29

when you're out in public, smile like you

40:31

mean it. You never know if

40:33

you're going to encounter a killer who is asking

40:35

you to... see me. When

40:55

I was a kid, I woke up

40:57

early every Saturday morning to tune into

40:59

my favorite TV show, the

41:01

name of which I have been told to withhold. It

41:05

was 1986 and I was five years old. My

41:09

younger brother and I would scurry down the

41:11

stairs and plop in front of our large

41:13

colored TV set. I

41:16

excitedly pressed the buttons on the TV until it

41:18

reached channel 25 and armed with a

41:21

bowl of cereal. We waited with bated

41:23

breath as the opening credits to...

41:27

began. We

41:29

sang along in tandem, smiled

41:31

as wide as our ears, belting

41:34

out each and every note, creating

41:37

a cacophony of joyful sound.

41:43

After the opening song sequence, we

41:46

sat silently relishing every colorful

41:48

scene, the silence only ever

41:50

being broken by intermittent giggles.

41:55

As the show was about to end, my

41:58

heart would always be... begin to beat

42:00

faster in anticipation of my absolute

42:03

favorite part of the show. You

42:07

see, at the end of this show,

42:09

the beautiful lady would hold up a

42:11

magic mirror. This mirror would

42:13

allow her to see the children who were watching the

42:15

show. She

42:17

would call out a handful of names each

42:19

episode, pointing and telling the viewers who she

42:21

saw. I see Michael. I

42:24

see Katie. I see

42:26

Timmy. I see Pam.

42:28

You get the idea.

42:31

Adrenaline washed over me every

42:33

single time she held up a mirror because I knew

42:35

that today was going to be the day when she

42:37

would see me. So

42:40

that is how it would go every Saturday for

42:43

two years. I

42:45

would eagerly wait each episode for her

42:47

to call my name for her to

42:49

see me. And

42:52

every Saturday I would taste the

42:54

bitterness of rejection as she failed to

42:56

call my name, as

42:59

she failed to see me. The

43:02

first year I began watching the show,

43:04

I would get over this indignation rather

43:06

quickly, usually just stomping

43:08

my feet and declaring that she did not

43:10

call my name again. But

43:13

after a while, my reactions

43:15

began to become more severe. Everything

43:21

turned to throwing things, throwing

43:23

things turned to screaming, screaming,

43:25

turned into smack at my brother in

43:27

the face. That

43:30

was the final straw, of course. I

43:32

lost TV privileges for two weeks and

43:35

my mother forbade me to watch that show ever again.

43:39

How can my mother know that at that

43:41

time that her punishment came too late? How

43:45

could she have realized that something had splintered

43:47

in her child? Something

43:49

had broken beyond repair. How

43:53

would she have attempted to change things if she

43:55

had the foresight to know that this TV show

43:57

that she had forbidden me to see had already

43:59

been there? fractured part of me that

44:01

would lead to what the papers referred to

44:04

as horrific events 15 years

44:06

later. You

44:09

see, I believe that during

44:11

those formative years, the years were

44:13

life events, mold mines like clay,

44:15

the rejection I

44:17

felt, blood through to all areas

44:19

of my life like melted butter

44:22

filtering its way into every

44:24

nook and cranny of my being. That

44:28

bitch on the show never saw me and

44:31

soon after that my father left us to be

44:33

with a new family. My

44:36

mother blamed me. I know she

44:38

did. After

44:40

the surges of my outburst

44:43

intensified, I would

44:45

hear my parents arguing about me night

44:47

after night when

44:49

my grades at school started to decline. I

44:52

heard each parent blaming the other for

44:54

my behavior. With

44:57

each argument, the barbed insults

44:59

that they hurled toward each other shot

45:01

closer to their mark. It was

45:05

not a slow death as

45:07

it only took six months from that point for

45:10

my parents to pull the plug on their marriage

45:13

and on me. After

45:16

he finally left, the

45:19

dark void inside me

45:21

began to fester. The

45:23

now empty husk that I

45:25

called mother effectively maintained a

45:27

bunter effect greeting me with

45:29

only a few and fleeting

45:31

superficial smiles. Those

45:35

days, the only time she ever

45:37

glanced at me was through the

45:39

lens of her empty wine glass.

45:41

School afforded me no sanctuary

45:43

as I was all but

45:46

invisible there too. Sitting

45:49

alone at the lunch table watching

45:51

a little horrors talk about their

45:53

boyfriends and their makeup or

45:55

whatever douche boy band was coming to

45:57

town. my

46:00

way and when they did they were

46:02

looking through me. I was

46:05

never invited to any parties not

46:08

that I had wanted to

46:11

go. I traversed the treachery

46:13

of high school for two years

46:15

before I finally dropped out. My

46:19

mother had checked out so completely at this point

46:21

barely raised her head to siphon the fluid from

46:23

her bottle of Jack. So

46:26

it did not surprise me that she

46:28

took no notice of my full-time truancy

46:30

from academia. This

46:33

cult of isolation of which I

46:35

was the sole member continued

46:38

as I myopically

46:40

navigated into adulthood.

46:42

The menial job that I

46:45

obtained shortly after I dropped out continued

46:48

to cultivate the poor end

46:50

isolation that had always been

46:52

my single constant companion. I

46:56

was never chosen for employee of the month.

46:59

I was overlooked for every promotion

47:01

despite my seniority. I

47:04

had utterly been forced to remain in

47:06

this existence of singularity day

47:08

in and day out. I

47:12

tried online dating. I'm

47:15

human despite the newspapers

47:17

making contrary assessments. I

47:21

do have certain basic human needs that had

47:23

up to this point never been met.

47:27

There would be no e-harmony matches

47:29

for me. No walks on the

47:32

beach or running slow

47:34

motion in the rain.

47:36

Don't get me wrong there was running

47:39

and it was always done by my date

47:41

for the first course had time to digest. What

47:45

did you say? Don't you dare interrupt

47:48

me. I

47:50

will get to the gory details. Don't worry

47:52

about that. Don't you know

47:54

I realized that is why you came to hear

47:57

about the slaughter, the guts. the

48:00

play-by-play of every extraction. I

48:05

came here willingly agreeing to this

48:07

interview. I

48:09

expect you to have the patience to allow

48:11

me a bit of digression. How

48:14

can you understand what I did if you can't understand

48:16

why I did it? Now,

48:19

where was I? Yes.

48:23

Well, when you become invisible to

48:25

the world, you find comfort

48:27

where you can find it. For

48:31

me, I discovered it with

48:33

true crime. A

48:35

completely innocent diversion from most... I'm

48:38

most certainly not alone in this

48:40

as evidenced by the number of

48:43

true crime television programs and podcasts.

48:46

Is this interview not being used for readers

48:48

of true crime? Anyway,

48:51

I would pore over books

48:54

about Bundy and Gain.

48:57

You know, all the truly interesting ones. BTK,

49:00

Dahmer, Chikatilo.

49:03

I read about them all. I

49:05

wouldn't say I felt a connection to any

49:08

of them, but I felt a sense of

49:10

understanding with some. You

49:12

see, I believe that when you are forced to

49:14

lurk in the shadows for so long, it

49:17

makes sense that after a while you begin to

49:19

adapt to the darkness. This,

49:22

I believe, is where we

49:24

get to what you have less

49:26

than patiently been waiting for.

49:30

Before we get to the main course, I would

49:33

like to preface it by saying that, while

49:35

most people try to put me in the

49:37

same category as the serial killers I mentioned,

49:40

that would be a mistake. First

49:43

off, the media loves referring to

49:45

me as a sociopath. This

49:49

is slander, to say the least. Or

49:51

is it libel? Other

49:54

way, this representation is fraught

49:56

with inaccuracy. Most

49:58

of those serial killers. showed signs

50:00

of early childhood. I

50:03

had a bit of a temper that gave way

50:05

to introversion over the years, but

50:08

I never said shit on fire or tortured

50:10

animals. In fact,

50:12

I rather love animals. I

50:14

have a cat at home. I

50:17

always adored Little Romper, wouldn't dream of

50:19

harming him. Another

50:22

important thing that distinguishes me from the

50:24

psychopath that he would love to categorize

50:26

me with is that

50:28

I feel remorse for what I have

50:30

done. I

50:33

mean, do you honestly think I wanna be

50:35

locked up in a five by five for the rest

50:37

of my life as short as it may be thanks

50:39

to the state? So

50:41

no, not a sociopath. Now

50:45

that I have that cleared up, let's

50:48

talk about my first time, shall

50:51

we? That is

50:53

what you really wanna hear, right? Now,

50:57

let me see. Yeah,

50:59

it was a cold, solid night

51:02

in October 2001, two

51:05

days before Halloween. Not

51:08

that Halloween has anything to do with it. It

51:11

was about 10, 26 p.m. on the number seven bus leaving

51:16

work in the direction of home, if

51:19

you can call a rat and best in one bedroom

51:21

studio at home. It

51:24

was not an unusual night, not

51:27

a particularly bad or good night.

51:30

Just another routine ride on public transportation as

51:32

if I ever had a chance of hell

51:34

getting a vehicle of my own. I

51:39

was in my usual seat minding my

51:41

own businesses, I always did. My

51:44

eyes were stuck within the confines of a

51:47

Stephen King novel, matter of fact. Couldn't

51:50

tell you which one. Oh,

51:52

Carrie, I was definitely reading Carrie. Oh,

51:56

how sweet memories come from back to me now.

52:01

As I said, I was reading Carrie, and

52:04

I was engrossed in it. It

52:06

is one of my favorites. They're

52:08

all gonna laugh at you. Laugh

52:12

at you indeed, Carrie. So

52:16

I am reading, and the bus stops. I

52:20

instinctively looked up as I knew my stop was

52:22

coming up soon, but almost simultaneously

52:24

returned to my books, realizing

52:26

that I was two stops

52:28

yet from my apartment building.

52:33

I barely noticed the man that walked onto the

52:35

bus. I

52:37

will, of course, never forget him. After

52:41

all you never forget, you're first. This

52:46

man, who police were eventually

52:48

and painstakingly able to identify

52:51

as Steve Blake,

52:54

walked onto the bus. As

52:58

he passed by me, I heard shuffled,

53:01

heavy footsteps, but it was

53:03

not until I felt a

53:05

steel-toed boot, forced hard against

53:07

my unexpecting foot, that I

53:09

looked up at him for the first time. And

53:13

as you know, certainly won't be the

53:15

last time. I

53:18

remember wincing in the kind of pain that

53:20

shoots through you like lightning, so fast that

53:22

it takes moments for your throat to vocalize

53:24

that pain. But as

53:27

the yelp of momentary debilitation

53:30

escaped my lips, Stevie Boy

53:32

only half glanced at me

53:35

and disingenuously said, Sorry,

53:38

I didn't see ya. I

53:42

mean, he had caused me

53:44

bodily harm, and I

53:46

didn't even register enough for him to look

53:48

at me. And

53:51

as to where to all that is holy,

53:54

I saw that Martin V. Fuck

53:56

smile. The

53:59

hot rage. boiling up inside caused

54:02

accurate bile to coat my tongue.

54:05

I felt anger coursing from my

54:07

feet to my chest. I

54:11

know that anyone sitting by me could

54:13

feel the heat emanating from my body.

54:17

I remember shaking, breathing

54:19

heavy as small beads of sweat

54:21

formed on my brow. I

54:25

felt years of being overlooked and

54:28

ignored, going from a simmer

54:30

to a rolling boil. And

54:33

I was moments from losing my shit right then

54:35

and there. But

54:37

you know what? I

54:40

didn't. Instead,

54:43

the strangest thing happened. And

54:47

the eerie, ill calm came over

54:49

me. And

54:51

for the first time in my life, I

54:53

felt a sense of purpose.

54:57

I knew exactly what had to be done. I

55:02

missed my bus that night. I

55:06

waited. I

55:08

waited for Stevie Boy to get off

55:10

the bus and I was praying. Yes,

55:13

praying to God that he was

55:16

getting off alone. As

55:19

the fates aligned, Stevie Boy

55:21

did get off all by his lonesome end,

55:24

as if all the gods were smiling down on

55:27

me. There was no one outside of the dark

55:29

bus stop. Steve

55:32

exited the bus, eye

55:34

behind him. And wouldn't you

55:36

know it, he never even

55:39

noticed me. Of

55:41

course he didn't. I

55:45

didn't know at the time exactly what I

55:47

was going to do to Stevie, but

55:50

I knew it would have to be done in the place

55:52

where I could take my time. He

55:57

walked up to this tiny, what

55:59

they call, shop. There

56:02

were no cars in the driveway. At

56:04

that point, I don't think I would have stopped, even

56:07

if there had been. I

56:09

could be into the group thing. As

56:13

he started to climb the almost

56:15

dilapidated stairs to get to his

56:18

shanty, I noticed

56:20

that he was less than steady on his

56:22

feet. It

56:25

was then that my nostrils picked

56:27

up on the stale beer that

56:29

wafted from his greasy pores. I

56:34

stood behind him silently, so

56:36

close that I just knew he

56:39

would feel my breath. But

56:42

the booze had been successful in

56:44

deactivating his spies since his... I

56:48

did a quick survey of the porch to see

56:51

if there was an object that I could use

56:53

to incapacitate him. In

56:56

my mind, I half expected to

56:58

see a banjo next to a rocking

57:00

chair, but instead it

57:03

was a heavy planter filled with weeds

57:05

that caught my eye. As

57:08

Stevie Boy unlocked his door, I simultaneously

57:11

grabbed that planter and

57:14

smashed it hard against his balding

57:16

scalp. He

57:20

stumbled a few feet in the

57:22

house, completely clearing the entryway. He

57:26

was making this too easy. He

57:30

was all but fighting me in. A

57:35

shudder trickled down my spine, and

57:38

I held back a fearful breath.

57:42

It wasn't fear from getting caught, but

57:45

rather that I may have already killed that fucker

57:47

before I had a chance to gut him. If

57:52

that was indeed what I had intended to

57:54

do. Just

57:57

a friendly reminder that this was not

57:59

premeditated. My

58:03

narrow fingers navigated through the folds

58:05

of his thick neck to feel

58:08

for a pulse. After

58:13

pressing through layers of fat, I

58:15

found it and it was surprisingly

58:18

strong and I remember bursting out

58:20

in cathartic laughter but

58:22

quickly got a hold of myself. After

58:27

all I had work to do. I

58:31

dragged this ass into the small kitchen to

58:33

the right, although he was

58:35

more than a few whoppers bigger than me. I

58:37

was able to move him quite effortlessly. Look him

58:39

back. He

58:43

wants to be all that

58:45

adrenaline pumping through me, kind of like those

58:47

mothers who live heavy cars off their kids.

58:52

My neck prevailed over emotion at that moment

58:55

and I left him lying on the

58:57

floor to do a quick perimeter search.

59:02

I couldn't be sure he lived alone with

59:04

an educated guess, judging by

59:06

his bulging midsection, an

59:08

unkempt hair, unruly beard, and

59:11

the fact that he smelled as if he'd been baptized

59:13

and Budweiser, I surmised it was a

59:16

safe bet. After

59:19

confirming this fact, I returned

59:21

to the kitchen to mentally sketch

59:23

out a plan. Table

59:26

for two please. I

59:30

started a rifle through the house in search of something

59:32

to tie him up with. Moments

59:36

later, I retrieved several lengths of extension

59:38

cords that were used to connect his

59:40

ancient TV to the wall. I

59:44

tied his hands together tightly first. The

59:48

way they dug into his wrists reminded

59:50

me of the cartoons where the dog

59:52

has log rope and sausages. Next

59:57

I tied his legs and again,

59:59

when Less effort than I anticipated, I

1:00:02

was able to get him up into one of the kitchen chairs. He

1:00:06

was now snugly propped between the table

1:00:08

and the wall. I

1:00:13

sat across from his unconscious

1:00:15

form, anticipating the

1:00:17

moment he woke up and saw

1:00:19

me. The

1:00:23

moment reminded me of my childhood as I

1:00:25

waited for that bitch to look in the

1:00:27

mirror and call my name, but

1:00:31

this time would be different. This

1:00:35

time I knew that I would be seen.

1:00:41

Watching and waiting, it

1:00:43

was so quiet that I could hear the

1:00:45

second hand of a nearby clock moving

1:00:47

in tandem with my heartbeat. It

1:00:52

was in that moment I realized

1:00:54

that my stomach was also audible.

1:00:59

Since it seemed that he would not be

1:01:01

returning to consciousness in the next few moments,

1:01:04

I decided to do some reconnaissance in the

1:01:06

refrigerator. After

1:01:08

all, I would surely need my strength. My

1:01:13

expectations were low as to what I

1:01:16

would find in the refrigerator, and

1:01:18

for the most part I was correct in this

1:01:20

assertion. Two

1:01:23

cans of what was probably a six-pack

1:01:25

this morning, some half-empty

1:01:27

condiment jars, and

1:01:29

a box of pizza. I

1:01:33

grabbed the box from the fridge and lifted

1:01:35

the top to reveal two slices of Lissini

1:01:39

pepperoni pizza. Perhaps

1:01:43

against my better judgment, a pop to

1:01:45

slice into Stevie Boy's microwave. As

1:01:50

the seconds ticked away on his

1:01:52

antiquated cooking appliance, it

1:01:54

occurred to me that I had

1:01:57

no tools, though

1:01:59

I had no tools. not fully mapped out what I

1:02:01

was going to do to Stevie. I

1:02:05

knew it would require an instrument to do

1:02:07

it. So

1:02:10

I scavenged in the drawers of the kitchen,

1:02:13

looking for something that would serve a purpose. I

1:02:17

was at first disappointed to find

1:02:20

only a single dull steak knife

1:02:22

that he had certainly pilfered from

1:02:24

some truck stop diner. My

1:02:28

disappointment quickly gave way to

1:02:30

excitement once more as

1:02:32

I realized the dullness of the

1:02:35

blade. While causing more elbow

1:02:37

grease on my part, would

1:02:39

also mean more pain for good old

1:02:41

Stevie Boy. I

1:02:45

was jostled out of my reverie by the

1:02:47

sound of the micro oven beeping. I

1:02:52

quickly glanced over at Stevie Boy, hoping

1:02:55

the sound may arouse him from slumber. But

1:03:00

alas, it had not. I

1:03:03

sat across from him once more, taking

1:03:06

a bite of the pizza. I

1:03:10

remember thinking that for leftover pizza, it was

1:03:12

quite delicious. I

1:03:14

instinctively looked at the box again to file the

1:03:16

name into my long term memory. Mama

1:03:20

Joe's Pizza. It

1:03:23

really is good. Boy,

1:03:26

in fact, I would frequent Mama Joe's

1:03:28

multiple occasions over the next few weeks.

1:03:31

The taste of it always filled me with erotic

1:03:34

nostalgia of my first time with

1:03:37

Stevie Boy. As

1:03:41

he continued to drift with the

1:03:43

confines of unconsciousness, I savored

1:03:46

each bite of pizza. But

1:03:49

at that moment, my gratification did not come

1:03:51

from the taste of the slice, but

1:03:54

rather from the thoughts that undulated across

1:03:56

my mind. I

1:03:59

began to awake. I had a fleeting

1:04:01

thought of Hannibal Lecter as

1:04:03

he brilliantly served justice with

1:04:05

just the right amount of

1:04:08

seasoning. I,

1:04:11

of course, had no interest

1:04:13

in devouring human flesh. I'm

1:04:22

not crazy, let me remind you. But

1:04:26

the thought of Stevie Boy hanging

1:04:28

on a hook with his ribs

1:04:30

exposed like a rack of lamb made

1:04:34

me chuckle a bit if I'm to be honest.

1:04:39

So there I was, salivating

1:04:41

over what I would do,

1:04:44

when finally I heard

1:04:46

the sound of a steel-toed boat shuffling

1:04:48

against the worn-tiled floor. My

1:04:53

heart began to pump blood

1:04:55

furiously through my body as

1:04:57

he slowly opened blackened eyes

1:05:00

that were virtually full and shut. At

1:05:05

that moment, he resembled a

1:05:07

raccoon, and I almost

1:05:10

felt pity for him. But

1:05:13

he wasn't a raccoon and I didn't feel sorry.

1:05:17

It was obvious he had not completely

1:05:19

grasped what was happening to him. Probably

1:05:23

felt like he had just woken up from a

1:05:25

nightmare. But

1:05:27

as his eyes adjusted to

1:05:29

light, his face reflected pure

1:05:31

terror as he, for the

1:05:34

first time, gauged upon me. He

1:05:39

looked at me square in my eyes. And

1:05:43

I have to be honest. It

1:05:46

felt good.

1:05:52

He gurgled out some version of the

1:05:54

English language, but had not

1:05:56

yet found coherence. way

1:06:00

a bit of the grog he was

1:06:02

able to weakly utter, Who

1:06:04

are you? What do you want from me? Hearing

1:06:09

the pure terror in a

1:06:11

voice that was at least two

1:06:13

octaves above the sorry he uttered

1:06:15

on the bus, with

1:06:18

hairs on my arms and neck

1:06:20

stand attention. I

1:06:23

wanted this moment to last as

1:06:25

long as possible. So

1:06:30

I got up from my chair and

1:06:32

walked into liberation towards him. Looking

1:06:38

back, I'm sure my toothy

1:06:40

grin must have been unsettling to

1:06:43

him, but it

1:06:45

could not be helped. I

1:06:49

smiled so big my teeth

1:06:52

felt cold as my tongue

1:06:54

lapsed slowly against them. I

1:07:00

began circling him like a crow

1:07:02

to carry and tapping

1:07:04

a dull knife against my sleeve as I

1:07:07

did. In

1:07:10

retrospect, this may have been a bit dramatic,

1:07:12

but you have to understand for

1:07:14

the first time in my life, I

1:07:18

had a captive audience.

1:07:25

For five minutes or so,

1:07:28

this is what I did. And

1:07:31

with each pass, I

1:07:33

noticed another dollop of sweat

1:07:35

slormulating on his now beat

1:07:38

red forehead. When

1:07:43

I finally opened my mouth to

1:07:45

speak, the pungent smell

1:07:47

of urine permeated my nostrils.

1:07:52

The clown pissed himself, the

1:07:55

sounds of his squeals or

1:07:58

intoxicants. Can

1:08:03

you see me now?" I

1:08:05

taunted as I used the knife

1:08:08

to snap off one of his buttons. I

1:08:13

repeated this as I

1:08:15

popped each button off

1:08:17

his dirty, sweat-saturated

1:08:19

slant. I

1:08:23

took the tip of the knife and

1:08:25

gently slid it down the side of his

1:08:28

face. I don't know

1:08:30

how to make a cut, mind you. I

1:08:32

simply wanted him to feel the coolness

1:08:34

of the blade against his skin. I

1:08:39

noticed that his chest began to rise

1:08:41

faster and faster, in

1:08:44

tandem with my own heartbeat. The

1:08:48

synchronicity of this was exhilarating. If

1:08:50

I became so excited that I

1:08:52

had not noticed, I started

1:08:54

to cut into the flesh of his cheek

1:08:56

ever so slightly. I

1:09:00

stopped myself because I had already decided

1:09:02

I did not want to cut just

1:09:04

yet. I

1:09:07

positioned my face so close to

1:09:10

his that I could smell his

1:09:12

accurate sweat. I

1:09:15

whispered in his ear, "'Please

1:09:20

don't bring my heart into me. You

1:09:22

don't remember me, Todd.'" Stevie

1:09:27

looked up at me sheepishly and bleated.

1:09:31

"'I don't know. I can't. I

1:09:34

don't.'" I'm

1:09:37

frustrated by his incoherent

1:09:39

utterances. I removed his

1:09:41

boot and stomped on his foot as hard

1:09:43

as I could. I

1:09:46

stomped two or three times more until I

1:09:48

could feel the crackle of displaced bone under

1:09:51

my feet. Then

1:09:54

I got close to it once more and

1:09:57

whispered. Do

1:10:01

you see me now? Because

1:10:03

you certainly could not be bothered

1:10:06

on the bus when you crushed

1:10:08

my foot. I

1:10:13

don't know if it was a look of confusion, fear,

1:10:17

or shock, but

1:10:19

with it came his squealed response.

1:10:23

You mean you have me here because I stepped on

1:10:25

your foot? Wrong

1:10:29

answer. Without

1:10:32

thinking, I've washed the door. Oh,

1:10:34

of course that I can muster

1:10:36

into its code. Disregard

1:10:41

brother's nictions me. Everything about

1:10:43

you nictions me. You

1:10:47

literate, walk over people while

1:10:49

you live your life like an intelligent,

1:10:51

luscious pig. If

1:10:57

it is what I said and

1:10:59

I plunged my dagger over and

1:11:01

over into his door, until

1:11:05

the last time when I pressed

1:11:07

it upward and twisted, knowing this

1:11:09

would be the final blow. The

1:11:14

kitchen blade, inched deeper into

1:11:16

what I imagined to be

1:11:18

his spleen, maybe

1:11:21

his liver. I

1:11:24

never studied anatomy, but I know the

1:11:26

dull-bladed pierced salt under this building. I

1:11:31

could almost feel the organ

1:11:33

burst as I dug deeper and

1:11:35

deeper, which bring in his ear.

1:11:41

Do you... Do you see me now? As

1:11:50

the warm blood coated my hand,

1:11:53

I realized this would be

1:11:55

my glorious reincarnation. His

1:12:00

life was being extinguished. Mine

1:12:03

was replenished. When

1:12:08

it became apparent that his light had

1:12:10

been snuffed out, I

1:12:12

noticed his eyes remained open. I

1:12:17

kneeled over him one more time and whispered,

1:12:26

This sent me into a fit of

1:12:28

uncontrollable laughter and the irony of it.

1:12:32

I repeated it over and over

1:12:34

again, reminiscing of

1:12:36

the Jack Nicholson Joker. The

1:12:48

blankness of his stare is what

1:12:50

inspired what the media would refer

1:12:52

to as my calling card. I

1:12:56

decided I needed to take something a hiss

1:12:58

that would remind me of our insubmit moment.

1:13:03

What a better token to take with me than an eye

1:13:05

or two to force them to look

1:13:08

upon me whenever I wanted. I

1:13:12

quickly began formulating hypotheses

1:13:14

as how best to remove them. It's

1:13:17

not like I had planned this ahead of time

1:13:19

and it's not like I could go on YouTube

1:13:22

to look up the best ways to extract someone's

1:13:24

eyeballs. I

1:13:27

first tried to catalog a list

1:13:29

of tools that would probably be the best

1:13:31

to use. A

1:13:34

knife, especially the dull one I had,

1:13:36

would be too clumsy. I

1:13:40

immediately thought a melon baller would most likely

1:13:42

yield the results I was looking for.

1:13:46

So, Lord, the chances that a slob's

1:13:48

just stevie-blowed as someone's refined as a

1:13:50

melon baller. I

1:13:54

began rifling through his drawers to find

1:13:56

something that I could use. It

1:13:58

became of empty. I

1:14:01

resigned myself to the fact that I would

1:14:03

have to use the don't Live that I

1:14:05

had used To justice. As

1:14:08

took a deep breath. And

1:14:11

realized that I was nervous.

1:14:15

Not from the impending act

1:14:17

itself. More out

1:14:19

of fear of damaging the goods too much.

1:14:23

I used for years. Over his right,

1:14:26

I'll this far sexist. A

1:14:29

chance to certify nice Underwood

1:14:32

I believed to be the

1:14:34

bottom. Of

1:14:38

your pictures and off last

1:14:41

name is appears to it's

1:14:43

cloudy flood stories from his

1:14:45

lower eyelid. A

1:14:49

real just as a nice

1:14:52

going lower it's deeper into

1:14:54

the sockets. Had lifted my

1:14:56

math up. Pierce the I

1:14:58

can. Say

1:15:02

every. Amount

1:15:04

of surgeons and this does not have

1:15:06

to be done such. I

1:15:11

would cut around the our tell out of

1:15:13

phone. Dot

1:15:15

way I could see our best to remove

1:15:17

so that. Shift

1:15:20

is over here the thirties. still

1:15:22

hot dates in the near future.

1:15:26

He has any they didn't come with a price

1:15:28

tag and a pair. Of

1:15:31

that's what I it. I

1:15:34

have to wait his flesh until

1:15:36

casings turn to read me and

1:15:38

until red meat or do blood

1:15:40

test. Though. I

1:15:44

was reminded of Movies Keepers Creepers,

1:15:47

How that fargo? Oh

1:15:49

yes. Keepers prefers. Where

1:15:51

is it is? So

1:15:54

see first, see first.

1:15:56

Prefer are insecure so.

1:16:01

Rio has given I was home amazon

1:16:04

during the whole extraction. Mans

1:16:07

I have your eye

1:16:09

on the part, that

1:16:11

and virtually those artists.

1:16:13

Is short I was a full

1:16:15

size despite the forces of my

1:16:17

to. Say.

1:16:20

Our the prettiest of my trophies

1:16:22

for they were my first as

1:16:24

slay a five year old sure

1:16:26

to fade into their prayers. Elders

1:16:28

Iso files a nerve and stairs

1:16:30

his admiration as the work I

1:16:33

had done at I. I

1:16:38

suspect that would have smoked a cigarette at that moment if

1:16:41

I had a. Soldier.

1:16:45

Easily Evil series of. Soup

1:16:48

to nuts advantages house for just under two

1:16:51

hours and it was damn near what I

1:16:53

hear when I felt great easily. I

1:16:57

worry about forensic evidence for

1:16:59

sale of new system. Thousand

1:17:01

visitors a ghost. He

1:17:03

goes to the please find evidence. As

1:17:07

I got ready to walk out the

1:17:09

door another brilliant saw a flash mob

1:17:11

race. And

1:17:14

you want people to thanks to

1:17:16

some thoughtless. People

1:17:19

with you know the reasons I'm picky. Had

1:17:21

to go to market so I left a

1:17:24

little quiz. This

1:17:26

would of course become another one

1:17:29

where signatures. I

1:17:32

recall two fingers into the

1:17:34

Socket Software Stevie place I

1:17:36

was called home. His

1:17:40

dog until I had less pay homage

1:17:42

Singers threat the Word. Do

1:17:46

you see me now? on

1:17:50

the wall behind his lifeless

1:17:52

or was nice i was

1:17:54

my fingers on the tattered

1:17:57

remains of his slave and

1:17:59

laugh once more as I look back

1:18:01

at my work with pride. I

1:18:06

close the front door behind me and walk

1:18:08

home, whistling

1:18:10

Jeepers, creepers low away. Well,

1:18:21

that was how it all began. I

1:18:24

went home that night and slept

1:18:26

like a fucking baby. I

1:18:30

had never felt so free. My

1:18:33

experience with Stevie Boy had given

1:18:35

me such a high that inevitably

1:18:39

there came the crash. And

1:18:42

like any addict, I sought

1:18:44

to recreate the feelings of that first hit.

1:18:48

I wasn't sure what the news would

1:18:50

say about what had transpired between Stevie

1:18:53

Boy and myself. But

1:18:55

much to my chagrin, it took four

1:18:57

days before my artwork had been discovered.

1:19:02

I guess Stevie Boy was more

1:19:04

of a loser than I thought. According

1:19:08

to the news report, it had been a

1:19:10

wellness check after Stevie Boy had not shown

1:19:12

up to work. The

1:19:15

reporters immediately branded me a sociopath.

1:19:18

One reporter had a psychologist on

1:19:21

his show analyzing me. For

1:19:24

the heck. He

1:19:26

said that I was most likely a 30

1:19:29

to 35-year-old impotent

1:19:31

male. Even

1:19:33

when I want to say something about incest. How

1:19:38

could this guy misread me

1:19:40

to this extent? It

1:19:43

was clear he couldn't see me. You

1:19:47

know what? He

1:19:49

couldn't see me at all. But

1:19:53

I promise you, at

1:19:55

the end he did. He

1:19:59

all did. In the end, I

1:20:03

hope that after our

1:20:06

time together, that you

1:20:10

see me. Our

1:20:57

campfire is growing dim. And

1:21:00

the light of dawn approaches. Our

1:21:03

tales must come to an end until

1:21:05

the next time we gather. We'll

1:21:09

keep the fire burning until you

1:21:11

return. That is, if

1:21:14

you dare to remain sleepless.

1:21:20

The No Sleep Podcast is

1:21:22

presented by Creative Reason Media.

1:21:25

The musical score was composed

1:21:27

by Brandon Boone. Our

1:21:29

production team is Phil

1:21:31

Mykolsky, Jeff Clement, and

1:21:34

Jesse Cornett. Our

1:21:36

editor-in-chief is Jessica McAvoy.

1:21:40

To discover how you

1:21:42

can get even more

1:21:44

sleepless horror stories from

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us, just visit sleepless.thenosleeppodcast.com

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to learn about The

1:21:51

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Free extended episodes each week,

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and lots of bonus content

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for only one low monthly

1:22:03

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1:22:05

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1:22:07

Cast, We thank you for

1:22:09

joining us around the campfire

1:22:12

for our twentieth season. This

1:22:16

Audio Programs Copyright Twenty Twenty

1:22:18

Three and Twenty Twenty Four

1:22:20

by Creative Reason Media, Inc.

1:22:23

All Rights reserved. The copyright

1:22:25

for each story or l

1:22:27

by the respective authors Know

1:22:29

Duplications for reproduction of this

1:22:32

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1:22:34

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1:22:36

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