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is the Pete and Sebastian Show.

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With Pete Correale and

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Sebastian Maniscalco. The

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is going on now. The

1:12

Jeep President's Day Sales

1:14

Event is going

1:16

on now. Yeah.

1:43

Yep. Son is gone.

1:47

Does this affect you in any way? Bro,

1:52

I just can't believe how many times you hit the nail

1:54

on the head of what's going on in my life. Just

1:57

Had this conversation with my daughter and my

1:59

wife today. Every morning in

2:01

the winter I wake up. So

2:04

depressed he does lane and made the

2:06

alarm goes off. We get up early

2:08

to say these gotta be school early

2:10

and just horrible maze slate. And.

2:13

Then them he literally take till

2:15

you get downstairs. He. Got

2:17

the kitchen line on, You get the local

2:19

radio on a porn, you coffee and you

2:22

on in. You finally start to feel not

2:24

depressed and you come out of it. you

2:26

know? But it's like when you first wake

2:28

up in the winter. Yeah it's like really

2:31

depressing mad and it's it's and and I'm

2:33

saying the guy him we I don't want

2:35

to feel this way when I'm older and

2:38

I'm I'm not working as much a my

2:40

own a wake up and feals way but

2:42

she argues to may have a point. I

2:44

like them. we father things when I see.

2:47

That works. When you don't have to work,

2:49

you don't mind that it's cold. you wake

2:51

up man. gotta go out there. But yeah

2:54

man, Brings. Me down bro.

2:56

I think about you guys sometimes when I'm

2:58

when and is whether. It's

3:01

a factor my father in a way that

3:03

I think now. Although. He doesn't work

3:05

as much. As you

3:08

become sedentary and. If.

3:10

You don't want another. Even Tommy Oh

3:13

of Hogan Boomer. Oh My. God. So.

3:15

Beyond. Outside my car and go places

3:18

and then you get it in your

3:20

park the car in any walk in

3:22

the freeze, come back out your freeze

3:24

and again special Any get the on.

3:26

Close to eighty years old, you're bombs.

3:28

can't take that. Say no

3:30

I doubt now and at me

3:32

when I walk my dog it's

3:34

not always cold but everything is

3:36

dirty be dump riding mel thing

3:39

dirt gray yeah you know as

3:41

a you gotta you gotta be

3:43

happy. It easier to survive and

3:45

east coast with a soft because

3:47

if you have to have your

3:49

bank and on a whether. adnan

3:52

knows maybe that's it sister was lying

3:55

years or the ones that show isn't

3:57

an hour and even else you know

3:59

this But I'm

4:02

just going to play a song for

4:04

you. We're going

4:06

to listen to the song. I say, oh,

4:08

you know, you know the song? I

4:11

haven't heard it. I haven't heard it, so I'm very

4:13

excited. I know what you're going to play for

4:15

me. Now I'm just

4:17

going to play the song. And you could

4:19

tell me when to stop the song, okay? You

4:22

could tell me when to stop. We could play it all. We're not

4:24

going to set it up. We're

4:27

going to play it. And when you've

4:29

heard enough, you could say, okay, we haven't heard enough. Or you

4:31

could listen to the whole song. It's up to you.

4:34

I heard it that was coming out. And I saw it

4:36

was coming out today. And I was like, oh, wow, this

4:38

would be great for the cast. But I have not listened

4:40

at all. So I'm very excited, bro. Okay, this is it.

4:43

This is it. We're going to play it. And then we're

4:45

going to talk about it. I'm

4:49

late, but I'm here. You

4:51

can. Yeah. So you're being

4:53

a Billy Joel fan,

4:55

right? This is

4:57

his first time coming out with

4:59

a song in 17 years.

5:03

Okay, you know, could you

5:05

give me a minute? I'm

5:10

doing a... I'm doing a... I'm doing a... I'm

5:13

doing a... I'm doing a... I'm doing

5:15

a... I'm doing a... I'm

5:17

doing a... I'm doing a... I'm doing

5:19

a... I'm going to do

5:21

my impression of anyone being grilled by Congress,

5:23

okay? Because I am a huge

5:25

Billy Joel fan. I

5:28

played the fifth. Bro,

5:30

I'm an honest guy. You know I am. I

5:32

don't know what to say. What do you think?

5:34

I mean, come

5:37

on. I like the song. Listen, I'm not

5:39

a song guy. Yeah.

5:41

But I thought the

5:43

song was a good

5:45

song. So do

5:47

you think, and I'm going to relate

5:49

this to comedy, do you think that

5:54

comedy is in

5:56

the same hemisphere

5:58

as that? The early

6:01

stuff is the bus stuff and as

6:03

they progress Comedians are not

6:05

as funny as they once were just

6:07

because they gave you the best they

6:09

got. It's like a fighter Yes,

6:12

I don't I don't think that in

6:14

comedy It's interesting and comment like one

6:17

thing we don't have that they have is

6:19

we can't do Whatever we

6:21

can't do old stuff. Although a musician might

6:23

tell you that's drives them crazy

6:25

that they have to so it goes both ways But

6:28

I feel like as we get older We

6:31

have more and more we're wiser Experience

6:34

seen it not a pen there. So, you

6:36

know, I mean if you're if

6:38

you're a comedian, that's like Doing

6:41

a TV show Making

6:43

movies or something and you just once in a while

6:45

going out and doing stand-up You might not be as

6:48

tight as you were when you're doing it every night,

6:50

but no, I don't I don't feel like great

6:52

comedians Well, I just think

6:54

if they put the time in they'll always

6:56

be great maybe even greater I don't feel

6:58

like Carlin was less funny by the end,

7:00

you know, it was definitely more opinionated If

7:02

you weren't into his opinion, that was one

7:05

thing but um But

7:07

then you know, it's crazy. I remember at the

7:09

comedy sale, bro Sometimes old

7:12

comedians would come in me older

7:15

famous or not famous and

7:17

they were just as funny as ever and then

7:19

sometimes an older comedian would come in and do

7:23

like Boy, am I arms

7:25

ties just flew in from blah blah blah boy?

7:27

My arms tied practically, you know, like just dated

7:29

stuff and you like do they not notice Like

7:32

wearing old clothes does the wife not say or does she

7:34

not notice either? Am I gonna beat? I used to say

7:37

to Colin Quinn one time like bro, am I gonna be

7:39

that guy? Popping into the

7:41

cellar doing jokes about records and

7:43

like everyone's like guy we download

7:45

now, you know If

7:48

you weren't that if you were in a hack when you were younger You won't be

7:50

to hack when you're older So,

7:52

I don't know. What do you what do you think bro?

7:55

Do you think when you're? 70

7:57

as long as your mind is still there

8:00

and your body's not a complete you

8:04

could still be as great as you are now

8:06

what do you think you think it's difficult to

8:08

maintain that throughout

8:13

your career you know I

8:15

mean yeah I

8:18

think it's difficult to maintain a level

8:21

of excellence year

8:24

in and year out yeah comedians

8:26

might be funny and whatnot who

8:29

knows but

8:31

I would like to I mean like

8:33

Eddie Murphy came out with two specials

8:35

Ron delirious right and

8:38

he hasn't done comedy in years you think if he came

8:40

out with a special now that it would top those two?

8:43

of course not because he stopped doing it but

8:46

if he had been doing stand-up from now like

8:49

till then look at Chappelle you know I

8:52

mean guys just still great great great great great great he's never

8:54

not gonna be great as long as he could talk and move

8:56

so but if Chappelle took 40 years

8:59

off I'd be like this could

9:01

be hitting mists coming back you know

9:03

and then and then it really does you know

9:05

get to a point where if you've

9:07

been away so long if you never stop doing

9:10

it that's one thing because you

9:12

constantly used to being up there and what

9:14

comes with it but if

9:16

you step away for too long and then you

9:18

like put yourself in a position where you have you're

9:21

financially doing great maybe movies TV whatever

9:23

it is then it becomes like why

9:27

why would I put myself back out there you

9:29

know it gets scary the long

9:31

you don't just stand up the scarier it is

9:34

the thought of coming back would you agree with

9:36

that? Absolutely I mean

9:38

when we took off that COVID you

9:40

know stretch and then yeah

9:42

you know we came back and started doing

9:44

comedy I felt like there

9:46

was some definite rust there I can't even imagine

9:49

taking years and years and years off and then

9:51

coming back to it alright

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11:23

Yeah I don't know. I mean for musicians I felt

11:25

that way with Michael Jackson. By

11:27

the way there's a new documentary that just

11:30

dropped over on Netflix that's

11:32

called The Greatest Night in

11:34

Pop History

11:37

which chronicles the night that they sang

11:39

We Are the World. I don't know

11:41

if you saw this yet. I

11:43

read about it. I didn't see it. Yeah. You

11:47

know Billy Joel was in that too. I

11:49

do. Yeah I do. I was such a Billy

11:51

Joel fan. It was like your baseball team or

11:53

something like. Did you guy make it.

11:55

My guy made it. Billy's in Madonna.

11:57

Just bailed on it. I guess I read.

12:01

Madonna wasn't there, Prince

12:03

wasn't there. I don't

12:05

think Madonna bailed.

12:08

I think they chose

12:11

Cyndi Lauper at the time

12:14

instead of Madonna but

12:16

they were trying to get Prince to do it and Prince

12:18

didn't want to call me like I guess didn't

12:20

want to be around a lot of people and

12:22

he wanted to do like a guitar solo but it

12:25

never worked out but it

12:27

was pretty inspiring how they put that whole thing

12:29

together and then in one night they did a

12:31

song and it becomes you know one of the

12:33

most popular songs ever but

12:35

it's funny and I'm gonna

12:38

give too much of a spoiler but

12:40

Al Giroe was on the song and

12:42

he was thanked. Who

12:44

so we all must

12:46

be again again Who

12:51

so we all must live

12:53

in helping hands

12:56

We are! Oh really?

12:59

He was gone. He

13:02

couldn't even get his his verse out

13:04

so if you go and look at Al Giroe's

13:06

verse on that he's fighting through

13:08

a buzz. Wow!

13:11

Well it's so funny

13:13

that thing was such a who's who you know

13:15

because like again diehard Billy Joel

13:17

fan but no one's ever gonna mistake him

13:20

for having and he'll even tell to you

13:22

a beautiful voice you know what I mean

13:24

but he's Billy Joel and you even like

13:27

Hall and Oates they took the they took

13:29

Hall but they didn't take Oates the curly-haired

13:31

guy. How did

13:33

that go? The magic goes in

13:35

good news bad news guys They're

13:39

into the hall. But

13:43

Oates was there. Oates

13:45

was there? Oates

13:47

was there but he didn't he

13:50

didn't he didn't get a verse you know I'm

13:52

saying oh he didn't get a

13:56

verse yeah he didn't sing anything

13:58

there. Well I think you might have been a Chorus,

14:00

but I don't think he was he didn't do

14:02

it You

14:06

know who left was waylon Jennings he just

14:08

actually left the whole he was there and

14:11

then like Stevie Wonder said I think

14:13

we should add some I don't

14:15

know what like an African

14:18

saying to this song and

14:21

Waylon's anything and that walked right out

14:23

of there You

14:31

got a lump Prince

14:34

just being like I'm good.

14:36

Yeah Yeah,

14:38

well a lot of people didn't know what it I mean They

14:41

didn't really know and after they didn't know who was

14:43

gonna be there but you know,

14:45

you know you're doing a thing with Michael

14:47

Jackson and Lionel Richie and What's

14:51

the producers name? The

14:54

big producer God why is it his

14:56

name slip in my mind there you go with the memory again

15:00

Guy did Michael Jackson thriller

15:03

Quincy Jones. Yeah, so

15:05

I mean you got those three guys obviously,

15:07

you know He you know, even if you

15:09

just had those three alone and they wanted

15:12

that I do to a song you

15:14

would do it Yeah, yeah, right. It's

15:16

like Spielberg Tom Cruise one to

15:19

yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm

15:21

it And

15:23

they did that song after the American

15:25

Music Awards Because they planned it

15:27

so a lot of people are gonna be in

15:30

town for that award show So after the award

15:32

show let out they went to go sing this

15:34

song And they went into

15:36

like 4 o'clock in the morning. So

15:38

oh wow, man is wild and

15:41

Lionel Richie Was

15:43

hosting the American Music Awards

15:45

that night So he hosted

15:48

got done with hosting and then they they

15:50

cranked out. We are the world, but you

15:52

got to see the documentary I think it's it's worth a

15:54

watch a Lot of

15:56

little tidbits in there a lot of little nuance

15:58

that I didn't know Of course

16:00

Michael Jackson was you know instrumental and

16:02

there's a couple moments where I was

16:05

like wow I

16:07

might as well tell you one of the moments Lionel

16:10

is over at Jackson's house and

16:12

they're working on the song and

16:16

Lionel was like I hear a In

16:22

the house And

16:28

a snake pops

16:31

out of the bookshelf and

16:33

Michael goes oh We

16:36

found the snake He

16:38

lost a snake in the house and

16:41

and all the rest coming out of the bookshelf Can

16:45

you imagine working in this environment? No

16:50

You imagine doing a podcast and a snake come out of my

16:52

ceiling You'd

16:55

have to be on the Joe Rogan podcast I have to

16:57

be co-hosting that to be like, okay, I'll deal with the

16:59

fucking snake Million

17:02

dollars a month. I'll deal with this thing. But

17:04

like that's what it is of Michael Jackson, right? You

17:07

know, I mean you only Michael Jackson

17:09

could have like you work with Tony Orlando back then

17:11

then a snake came out of his Studio, he'd be

17:13

like I'm out of here Tony Yeah,

17:20

you work with Michael Jackson, you just have to deal with

17:22

whatever the hell's in the room You know what I'm saying?

17:24

You can't like you can't like go Mike. I

17:26

can't I can't do it with the snake And

17:29

get a snake in the room. Okay, we'll deal with the

17:31

snake Work around it.

17:33

We'll work around it now another there's another animal

17:35

story that you have to just watch the Documentary

17:37

to just see this and not do something else

17:39

that's going on in the house So is

17:42

this just a one-shot movie documentary? Hour and

17:44

a half good because I went to watch

17:46

that the one with the dwarf that might

17:48

not be dwarf from Ukraine Jackie No, I

17:50

did I was psyched to watch that Three

17:54

two or three seasons. Well,

17:56

what do we don't follow on this person now when

17:58

they real life now? So and then

18:00

I couldn't even get it. I had to

18:02

pay so I was like I'm out. I don't know about that

18:05

Oh, you don't get me. You don't have max I

18:08

have like it's not the same as what I

18:10

watch bookie on because I watch your show just

18:12

and then I

18:14

don't know something's going on because it was telling me to We

18:18

must have been looking for it somewhere else because it was

18:20

telling me I had to do a seven-day trial Like

18:22

watch your show Tom max

18:25

bro. I don't know what's going

18:27

on. The technology over at the corielli house is

18:29

is is underwhelming. I gotta tell you I mean

18:31

it's Your technology acumen

18:33

is that of a 75 year

18:36

old man? Like you would think Yeah,

18:38

you the way you the way you behave

18:40

with technology You would think you served 35

18:42

years in prison just got out and now

18:44

you're just introduced to the internet I

18:47

gotta ask Jackie. She was right there with me. It was

18:50

odd, bro Maybe it's because she was

18:52

going through her phone instead of through the tv

18:54

like we normally do All right, but then I

18:56

gotta be honest. I saw like two three seasons I

18:58

thought this was gonna be again an hour and

19:00

a half. I find out what happened with this

19:02

Ukrainian. So Can you just tell

19:05

me was it a man? Like I guess i'll try it

19:07

again Are you how many have to watch before I get

19:09

to gist of the whole thing three? There's

19:12

only two seasons number one and and and I

19:14

was in after they said that the six-year-old had

19:16

pubic hair I was like I was in I

19:18

mean like okay, I gotta find out what all

19:21

happens here, right? I mean Yeah,

19:24

the first episode I mean and there's a

19:26

lot there's a lot there. I know there's you listen They

19:28

could have probably cut it down But

19:30

if you could muscle through it There's

19:33

a payoff at the end, which I think you'll enjoy Just

19:35

just you know Hey, i'm not asking you to knock us

19:37

out in one night Just when you

19:39

and jackie sit down you get your popcorn out your

19:41

cookies your ice cream, whatever you got Knock

19:44

out an episode at night and then you know call

19:46

it call it a day But well,

19:49

I really kind of like you watching them and then

19:51

filling me in on the bullet points like the snake

19:53

If you tell me the other animal story michael jackson,

19:55

I probably don't even need to see the doc anymore

19:57

You know You

20:00

do because there's some things that I would like

20:03

to go over with you in the there's

20:06

some scenes I want to pick apart

20:08

in the documentary that you

20:10

actually need to see it. We were all of you!

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guaranteed. The

20:34

Pete and Sebastian Show. So

20:41

I was in Chicago. Your

20:46

parents arrested me sir. No

20:48

longer with us but I want

20:50

to know if you ever like

20:53

how old was your father when he passed away? Almost

20:56

75 like about a week away.

20:59

Okay. All right. So my dad's 77. I

21:02

went home and you know

21:05

his refrigerator I I

21:08

went to go open

21:10

the door of the refrigerator and the

21:12

handle is off

21:15

the like it's

21:17

like swinging it's like a pendulum. The

21:21

handle. The handle that the freezer is gone.

21:24

So it's off. So you have to like reach in

21:26

and then pull it out. The

21:28

water where you get the water has

21:30

cracked and that's falling apart. There's

21:33

spots in the refrigerator

21:35

where the the food

21:38

actually freezes. Right? Now

21:40

this has been going on for two years. He's had this

21:42

the way the way this is. I

21:46

go what

21:48

are you doing? What are you doing?

21:50

This is it looks like looks like

21:52

shit. And

21:55

worry about it. I go get

21:58

in the car. We're going to get a refrigerator. refrigerator. No

22:01

I ain't on the refrigerator. I

22:04

gotta go to Lowe's, look at the Lowe's. This guy

22:06

is the type of guy where he's

22:08

gotta go to Lowe's,

22:10

Home Depot, Sears, you know,

22:12

he's gotta look at the

22:15

same refrigerator in a different

22:17

environment, right? There's

22:22

a place called ABT in

22:24

Chicago. It's like the premier

22:27

appliance store in

22:29

the state of Illinois. Might

22:32

be the premier appliance store in

22:34

the country. I've never seen

22:36

a place like this. They got everything

22:39

in there from TVs to

22:41

stoves to bars to outdoor

22:44

furniture. They got everything. They

22:48

come and they install it. They're

22:50

like cream of the crop. My

22:53

dad's girlfriend, son,

22:57

works there.

22:59

No brain. He got it in. He's coming again. Yeah.

23:03

You go there. So we go there. And

23:06

he don't even want to go because he's like, I don't know.

23:09

Because we had to go out, I had a corporate gig that

23:11

I was bringing my father to and we had to leave at

23:13

345. It's noon. He

23:15

goes, you think we're not, it's

23:17

probably, we can't get this all done. And

23:19

I go, dad, it's, we got another three

23:21

and a half hours before we leave. Get

23:23

in the car. And

23:26

I noticed, what do you gotta do, dad? You

23:28

gotta pick out a fridge and watch your son

23:30

do stand up. And another

23:36

thing, you get into his car.

23:38

I don't know when, what age this

23:40

happens, but

23:43

there's like plastic bags in

23:45

the side of the door and

23:48

rags. Like, when

23:52

do you start bringing that into the car? At

23:54

what age do you go? I might need a

23:56

plastic bag while I'm

23:58

out. God knows what

24:00

I'm gonna have to wipe something down. Do

24:05

you have anything in your car?

24:10

Do you have anything in your car other than

24:12

like what's like

24:15

when you bought the car what did you add to

24:17

the car? Yeah

24:20

no you know put few napkins in the glove

24:22

box always have napkins in there and then

24:25

I got an air freshener. Other than that

24:27

you know no I got nothing on the

24:29

side but like who's driving I'm

24:31

dying to know you your father and you follow this

24:33

car. He don't

24:35

drive at night anymore so during the day he

24:37

drives at night I take the wheel right?

24:40

Okay. So he's driving he's driving during the

24:43

day and that's another thing I don't know

24:45

when the hell you lose the ability to

24:47

drive at what age that starts to happen.

24:50

But he's breaking he's breaking

24:52

so hard like you would think a deer

24:55

was running across the road right? What

24:59

did you see that you had to pump to

25:01

break that heart? So we

25:05

go to the place right? Now

25:09

my dad's the worst guy to

25:11

sell anything to because

25:14

he's always asking questions

25:16

that the salesman has never heard

25:18

before right? The

25:20

salesman probably goes through it the

25:23

salesman probably goes through a training right and

25:26

they say okay this is the refrigerator you

25:28

know it's a this has got these are

25:30

the features whatnot. My dad opens

25:33

it up with where's the

25:35

water filter where's the filter at you know? In

25:38

this guy don't know this guy's

25:40

right. Late what are you?

25:43

It's in the door somewhere. And

25:47

the guy's like I don't know I have to bring somebody

25:49

over so the guy can't you know it's like my dad

25:51

always has to if

25:53

you're selling something to my dad there's multiple

25:56

people involved in the sale. It's

25:58

not just the one salesman. they're

26:01

bringing over like the mechanic you know like

26:03

the guy that would fix the fridge he's

26:05

there showing my

26:07

dad goes where's the coils

26:10

in the refrigerator the guy goes what coil

26:13

yeah I gotta clean the coil I

26:15

go dad clean the coils your

26:17

basement looks like bin Laden lives there

26:22

you haven't cleaned that yeah so then

26:27

he's like okay he finally decides

26:30

on it he

26:32

goes all right let's go make a deal I go make

26:34

a deal you got the deal already the

26:36

deal is you're getting a discount already the

26:41

Sun works here what

26:43

deal this kind of flea market in Palermo

26:45

you know I'm saying

26:51

let's start let's start talking turkey now

26:53

I'm interested in the fridge right

26:57

hey it's got a sticker price on it

26:59

what the fuck yeah

27:03

80s where we're at like the

27:05

Toyota dealership and we're gonna go

27:07

talk the price you

27:09

know this guy wants to negotiate a refrigerator

27:11

at a major appliance store okay

27:14

so we go to the computer now

27:18

the guys rattle and everything off and I know my

27:20

you know before we even went there I told my

27:22

dad I go I'm gonna buy it a refrigerator all

27:25

right just because if

27:28

he's gonna buy it we're not gonna

27:30

buy it because he's not gonna agree on

27:32

any of the onion like for example it's

27:35

$45 to take his

27:37

old fridge away so

27:40

when the guy presented it in that he's like Hammond

27:42

and Han I

27:45

go what are you gonna do put it on your back

27:47

and bring it out to the like

27:51

why is that even a Hammond Hall yeah

27:54

yeah jeez

27:58

can I drag that thing out My

28:00

god, I can't even imagine what

28:02

happened when the warranty came up. Oh,

28:05

well, that's another thing comes with a one-year Manufacture

28:08

warranty then okay, then you know, they

28:10

got five years I go and I just

28:12

jumped in I go give them whatever the fuck it is

28:15

Give them the ten year whatever the hell you

28:17

got give them the most on the warranty because

28:20

you're gonna drive you nuts If

28:22

you don't get the warrant, so I said put the warranty

28:24

on there and then you

28:26

know like my dad will Just

28:30

every every nook and cranny of

28:32

the sale He's got

28:34

a like question Why

28:36

you know like others

28:39

like? There's a this

28:41

feeders at that fee, right? You know

28:43

the the the Refrigerator says

28:45

twenty one hundred dollars, but before you know the

28:47

tax and all the stuff that you add on

28:50

Looking at three grand or whatever the hell it is delivery

28:55

installation They had a

28:58

cutout You know some wood

29:00

so you could would fit So

29:03

he's got a refrigerator it came

29:05

next day installed gone in Done.

29:09

I go what else do you need? Let's

29:12

get this going. He has his

29:14

garage, bro There's

29:16

another thing. I think I Think

29:19

he might be a hoarder He

29:23

he's in the crawlspace In

29:28

His salon in the 80s They

29:31

had a dry sauna

29:34

a sauna. You know where

29:36

you going in sweat Yeah,

29:39

it was all it was me out of wood No,

29:41

no after salon in 1980s

29:44

long dry son yeah When

29:47

he sold the salon they they

29:49

dismantled the sauna and

29:51

the sauna Is

29:53

in his crawlspace right now for

29:59

35 years this man has

30:02

been saving a sauna. I go,

30:05

what are you waiting for? Are we gonna build a sauna in the

30:07

living room? What the fuck you need

30:09

a sauna for? Because

30:12

you never know. We mean you never know.

30:16

Have you ever been sitting around with a jacket going,

30:18

oh my god, I wish we could build a sauna

30:20

right now. This guy's got

30:23

coal and wood. It's crazy.

30:27

And I'm like, my god, he's

30:29

got nine gallons of mozzola oil in

30:31

the basement. Like you would

30:34

think he was running a restaurant, the amount of

30:36

oil this guy's got in the

30:38

basement. And it's not even on his shelf.

30:40

It's just on the floor. You know,

30:43

like nothing's organized. Right.

30:46

Now this is fascinating because do

30:49

you think, like

30:51

I saw this, you know those

30:53

property brothers, twins on

30:56

HGTV. So I saw

30:58

this special once with Brad Pitt, they, some woman

31:00

who I think she was like Brad Pitt's makeup

31:02

artist or something like that, but she worked with

31:04

him on almost all those films. And

31:07

she had a little studio behind her home. And

31:09

when she was gone, doing a show, a movie

31:11

with him or something, he had the whole thing

31:14

redone. And then she came home and she

31:17

was in tears. I'm

31:19

watching her jacket. I'm

31:21

like, I can sense that she's looking

31:23

to me a little bit like I, I like, I

31:26

liked it how I didn't know when I arrived

31:28

to come and do this. It's beautiful, but that's

31:30

what I was getting a little bit out of

31:32

it. Now your old man,

31:35

if you like brought him to your house and

31:37

brought people in to just get

31:39

rid of the junk, clean it up,

31:41

tighten it up, put all this great,

31:44

beautiful stuff in. Do you think there'd

31:46

be a sense of relief where it's like, Oh my God, I

31:48

never would have thrown that out unless someone threw it out for

31:50

me. Or do you think he'd be like, you had no right

31:52

to come in and do all that? I liked it. I liked

31:54

my stuff the way I did. It

31:57

would be both. It would be, you

31:59

threw out. out what? There'd

32:01

be a lot of that. What'd you tell him? Yeah.

32:05

But you could lie and tell him he took

32:07

everything and put it in a warehouse but never

32:09

take them to the warehouse because it really don't

32:11

even exist. Well

32:15

he thinks he thinks everything he's got is

32:17

worth money. So

32:19

he envisions this day is

32:22

gonna come where he's gonna sell all this

32:24

stuff right? He's telling me

32:26

he's gonna have a garage sale. I go dad, you

32:31

know my dad thinks

32:33

he's gonna make $68,000

32:38

at a garage sale.

32:41

A garage sale is for

32:43

dollar, two dollars, you know like you're just

32:45

cleaning it out you want a little pocket

32:47

check. My dad thinks you can put a

32:49

down payment on a house in the Northwest

32:52

suburbs with a garage sale. I

32:56

was like your dad thinks

32:58

all that stuff's worth something. I want

33:01

to be like you're having breakfast with

33:03

what you have that's worth something. It's

33:05

called your son okay. You totaled everything

33:08

and you could sell it your garage sale.

33:11

You could ask your son for twice that in cash

33:13

and he'd give it to you in 15 minutes. Oh

33:22

god I think I'd be like my son

33:24

doing five shows at the garden. Throw the

33:26

fucking song out I don't even need it

33:28

at this point. By the way

33:31

congratulations on those shows bro you're crushing. You are

33:33

crushing man it's really awesome but anyway I don't

33:35

want to sidetrack you. Five sold out shows at

33:37

the garden. The last one will be by the

33:39

time we're done. Sick bro. So

33:44

funny but yes what you got to do you

33:46

got to get this shit for your dad when

33:48

he's out of town. Yeah no I am actually

33:50

talked to I thought it's funny

33:52

to say that I talked to Lana about like

33:54

actually hiring a crew to come in there when

33:56

when he goes on vacation and

33:58

just you know put a up shelving units,

34:01

organized a place. They

34:03

got a company out here

34:06

called Edit, something Edit, where

34:09

they come in and they put stuff in boxes.

34:11

They label stuff. They do this. They

34:14

do that. I think we got to do that.

34:16

But the more alarming part of this whole thing was he's

34:20

got a pair of shoes, sneakers, that

34:24

he cut the tongue out of, the sneakers.

34:27

The tongue is gone. I've never seen this before. I don't know

34:29

if you... He cut the tongue

34:32

out of the shoes and there's

34:34

no laces. So it's like

34:36

a slip. It's

34:39

like a homemade slipper.

34:43

Right? I go, what? What's this?

34:45

He goes, this is my

34:47

gardening shoes. I

34:49

go, no tongue, no tie,

34:52

no nothing. He goes, no, I slip

34:54

them out. I go out in the yard and I

34:56

wear these. You

34:59

ever have a pair of shoes

35:01

that you slip on? He

35:06

made his own crocs. I love it.

35:08

This guy. I love it. He's

35:11

homemade. He

35:13

don't buy the crocs. He'll

35:16

make his own version of

35:19

whatever you're supposed to get to go

35:22

out in the garden. Like,

35:24

for you, do you have a shoe

35:27

designated for outside?

35:29

Let's say you're going to go

35:31

do... Let's say you're going to get

35:33

the mail. Do you

35:35

have a shoe for that that

35:38

you slip on and then you slip

35:40

off and you leave it in the

35:43

garage or whatever? Yeah.

35:45

I got a pair of crocs and a pair

35:47

of sketches that I only

35:50

want to go outside. I got a pair

35:52

of sketches inside. Then my indoor ones, I

35:54

switch to my outdoors. When I get something,

35:56

come back in and put my indoors back

35:58

on. about

36:00

you. I have a pair. Ever

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36:16

Satisfaction guaranteed. What

36:18

do you think of the croc in

36:21

general as a shoe?

36:23

Like what's your take on this now?

36:26

I'll only wear the croc when

36:29

I'm like going to go pick Sadie up from somewhere and

36:31

I know I ain't getting out of the car. The

36:33

croc does not get seen. No one

36:37

sees me in a croc in public. That's like it's

36:40

embarrassing. It's emacinating.

36:44

It is. It really is. I feel like

36:46

I wear my crocs and

36:49

if somebody caught me wearing them, their

36:54

vision of me would totally change. If I got caught

36:58

in a croc, if you came over and I was

37:00

wearing a croc, I feel like you would

37:02

look at me completely

37:04

different. If I

37:06

saw you in crocs, especially with no socks

37:08

on, I don't think

37:10

I talked to you ever again. Am

37:13

I on Walmart knockoff crocs? My own daughter

37:15

was making fun of me the other day.

37:19

You don't even have to do the print. Oh

37:22

she's like that because she puts, you

37:24

ever see the kids put decorations in the

37:26

holes? And she's like

37:29

dad your crocs don't even have holes. They're

37:31

knockoff crocs. And I was like

37:33

it don't matter. No one's going to see my crocs bro. It

37:35

goes back to that Steve Jobs video I sent

37:38

you where he said old

37:40

car gets you there the same way a

37:42

new car does. Knockoff

37:44

crocs. Do you have crocs by the way?

37:48

I have crocs and

37:50

if you saw my crocs bro,

37:54

my kids decorated them. I got the

37:56

crocs that you could decorate. So

38:00

I got kitty shit

38:04

What yeah, I got I got

38:06

kitty shit in my in

38:08

my in my crocs. I got a lady

38:10

bug I got a Pig

38:13

it says daddy. They

38:15

spoke daddy in it Hey So

38:20

do you feel like that makes it you get

38:22

okay to wear them because you're like the kids

38:25

No, I don't I don't though. I Know

38:28

you think it does but it don't I

38:31

don't even like when I see a doctor wearing them in

38:33

the fucking hospital. What's wrong with a pair of night? What

38:36

when did these fucking things become the thing? I?

38:41

Don't like doctors and brand-name sneakers

38:43

at the hospital I I

38:47

want my doctor to come

38:49

in in

38:51

a nondescript shoe

38:54

I I

38:56

tell you Yeah, I'm

38:59

not into the cracks on doctors. I'm not into

39:01

the like casual Nike It's like what are we

39:03

gonna do surgery and then go for a run?

39:12

You're gonna do a quadruple bypass on

39:14

me with your blazes on guy what

39:20

All right, what do you want him the way

39:22

I shoot at like you feel You

39:25

gotta have a doctor's license to

39:27

even scroll the website to buy

39:29

that shoe, right? You

39:32

gotta have a degree a

39:36

PhD whatever you to get you

39:38

should only have shoes If

39:41

you're a doctor that doctors He'd

39:44

only get Right, right. Not

39:46

even the nurse not even the nurse The

39:49

nurse is in the shoe to doctors like you

39:51

got some nerve wearing a doctor shoe But

39:55

here here here's a question

39:57

like Jordan or LeBron They

40:00

have their own shoe right and

40:02

then you could buy a Jordan or

40:04

a LeBron shoe my question

40:06

to you is Let's

40:09

say LeBron is a size 13 Do

40:13

you think LeBron's 13? shoe

40:16

and The

40:19

shoe that they sell at the

40:21

Nike store is

40:23

the same shoe or is it

40:26

custom-made for LeBron's foot? It's

40:31

got to be custom made you ain't you

40:33

ain't getting though. Yeah, no, he's got like

40:35

I almost did it for Jackie for Christmas

40:38

Where they send the molds that she steps into

40:40

and then you mail them the mold For

40:44

running, you know, but in the end

40:46

it was just gonna make too much foam for

40:48

her But yeah, like if Jackie almost is getting

40:50

her foot molded LeBron's they probably make a nice

40:52

cast out of his foot Absolutely.

40:55

Yeah, he ain't going suck. He ain't going

40:57

off the shelf Yeah,

41:00

so so that's what I

41:02

want my doctor to wear. I want my

41:04

doctor in custom-made Shoes

41:08

and I and I think I have

41:11

the shoe it's downstairs. Actually, I think I have

41:13

the shoe I'm gonna Actually,

41:15

you know what it would it would I'm

41:17

gonna get the shoe that I want my doctor to wear and

41:19

I'm gonna get my Crock and I want you to get I

41:21

want your take on both of them. All right Okay,

41:24

right here This is

41:26

what I want my doctor wearing Oh

41:35

Wow, look at that It's

41:38

like a cross between a loaf and a

41:40

croc Yeah, it's

41:43

a nice leather. I think it

41:45

goes good with the with the scrubs, you

41:48

know a little green and black Slip

41:51

on well, what do we got? What

41:54

do we got for cushion like how long this

41:56

a question I have is like For

42:00

my example, my doctor wears a nice

42:02

shoe, a nice leather shoe. I'm

42:04

wondering when he does surgery, does he switch

42:07

out of that to his surgery shoes or

42:10

short surgery, I'll keep in my leather

42:12

shoe. Is that thick enough

42:15

cushion that right there, if

42:17

I'm doing a 13-hour heart

42:19

transplant, I don't know if that's got enough cushion

42:21

to it. I

42:24

don't know. As far as comfort is

42:26

concerned, I don't think surgeries last more

42:28

than two or three hours. I

42:31

think this would get you through a surgery, actually wear

42:33

these. Well, a 13-hour

42:35

surgery shoe. A vasectomy shoe. That's a vasectomy

42:37

shoe. Yeah. A 13-hour

42:39

shoe. What are you, 13 hours? What is this, Siamese twinger?

42:41

You're deep. What are you doing for 13 hours? If

42:43

it's 13 hours, I don't want one guy working on me. There's got to be shifts. I'm

42:46

not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm

42:48

not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm

42:50

not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm

42:52

not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. Forget

42:54

the shoes. What do they have in for dinner halfway through? Shit.

43:00

No. Yeah, no. That's

43:04

a nice looking shoe right there. I like that for a

43:06

doctor. That should be standard, guys. I

43:11

don't like when the dad's

43:15

shoe is just like the kid's shoe but bigger.

43:17

I just ... Listen,

43:19

that is ... and that's just

43:21

loaded, bro. That's loaded with stuff.

43:25

I like eggs. They got eggs on here.

43:28

They lost a tooth. They put a tooth. They

43:30

got strawberries. They got ... it says

43:32

... they're like Peppa Pig, so

43:35

they put pig on here. Listen,

43:37

I'm not saying, bro, that necessarily

43:43

ever ... I mean, you'll

43:46

never catch me in public in these.

43:49

Okay. Okay. I'm

43:52

not saying that. But around the house,

43:54

I'm wearing these to go from the

43:56

house to outside and whatnot. Now. What

44:00

about what about a line that's got a friend over?

44:03

You're wearing those and you know, she's got a

44:05

couple girlfriends out in the patio you you walking

44:07

out on in those I Mean

44:10

if I'm already in them and I happen to

44:12

run into them Then yeah, but I'm not like

44:14

throwing these on to go out there. Who am

44:17

I kidding? Yeah, I'm going out there with these

44:19

I Got it.

44:21

See I like I'm gonna show you mine But

44:24

the other day I literally kicked mine off

44:26

and put back on my sketches when my

44:28

wife's friend showed up because I didn't Want

44:30

to be seen in them, but

44:32

let me ask you this before I show you mine Well,

44:35

I'll show you mine using my knockoffs right here You

44:40

say that's not even a knock that's not even a knockoff

44:44

Maybe it's like a Birkin. It's like a

44:46

Birkin stock Knock off.

44:48

Hey, that's not even a crop. I think we're

44:50

a croc. All right Wow,

44:53

it's in the croc family, bro. It's

44:55

clearly in the croc family. What are you talking? It's

44:57

a rounded Rounded cup

45:00

like I just don't have the holes to put

45:02

in all those fucking lovely little I love egg

45:05

Pins. I don't think that's

45:07

a crack knockoff. It looks like a Birkin stock, but look

45:09

I want to look at the heel the

45:12

inside heel That

45:14

the yeah bring it up more towards the microphone.

45:17

Yeah, what is that? Is it dust in there? What? What's

45:20

the two dots? Oh? Yeah,

45:23

yeah, it's like you know. It's just one out, bro.

45:25

I need a new pair now. Oh, brother. Oh, you're

45:27

like my father We need a

45:29

new pair. I Don't like the

45:31

fact that it's worn out. I think I

45:34

think you need a new fucking pair of knockoffs They

45:37

are they are pretty dirty even my own

45:39

daughters like that. They're disgusting even if they

45:42

all knock off. They are bro. I'm sorry

45:44

I'm sorry. I'm taking a back. I'm Taking

45:47

a back by the filth Why

45:52

would I buy a brand new pair of

45:54

crocs in the middle of February in this

45:56

shit weather that we already discussed is horrible

45:58

I'll wait to spring Everything is

46:00

nice. I'll get a new fake

46:03

rock. Let me ask you hold on

46:05

before you judge anymore. Are you more of a They

46:09

go this is this is non sports or the

46:11

kids say when they're playing sports But what are

46:13

you do you do you dip the heel get

46:15

the heel there or do you keep that up?

46:17

No, I'm I Don't

46:19

I keep the top up bro.

46:21

It's not Yeah,

46:23

I'm I'm I will flap flap up

46:26

age will flap up age No

46:28

need for the flap. God, fuck the

46:30

heel daddy running in his fake crocs. All right,

46:33

don't even worry about that Why

46:37

don't we speak in a running how you feeling

46:39

bro, how's everything feeling or whatever it is You

46:41

got going on and you're new in the new

46:43

regime Mmm, I still

46:45

got the pain in the legs haven't

46:47

had alcohol at all this year, which

46:50

I'm proud of I went out to

46:52

my father Nice twice for dinner My

46:55

new drink when I go out cranberry

46:58

and soda Wow,

47:00

I'll keep you young nice bro

47:03

cranberry and soda. We were out

47:05

to dinner on the night Out

47:10

to dinner the other night and what

47:13

you take on this We're

47:18

at the table Yeah, sitting

47:20

down. It was us and two

47:22

other couples One of the

47:24

couples they knew a lot of people so

47:26

a lot of people were coming to the table

47:29

and saying hello and Then

47:32

he would introduce Us

47:36

at the table, oh, this is my friend John

47:40

Now if you're sitting down eating at

47:42

a table and someone you

47:45

can introduce them to someone are

47:48

you required to stand

47:50

up and Shake

47:52

that person's hand and then sit

47:54

down or could you just give it like

47:56

a little little wave? What's the

47:58

etiquette on? meeting a

48:00

stranger while you're sitting down at

48:03

dinner at a restaurant. Wow,

48:05

that's good. That's good. If you came up to

48:08

a table and you saw

48:10

your buddy, or let's say you saw me,

48:12

and you were at the same restaurant, and

48:14

you came up and they'd say, Pete, what are you doing?

48:16

Ah, not bad. Hi, everybody. This

48:18

is Pete. Pete, this is my friend John.

48:21

This is my friend Julie. Are they required

48:23

to shake your hand? And if

48:25

they didn't get up, would you go, that's not gonna get up.

48:29

They're not required to, but I hit them with a... I

48:32

like when the guy goes, you know, don't get up, don't get up,

48:34

don't get up, don't get up. That's

48:36

a nice thing, but it

48:39

depends. It depends who

48:41

I'm meeting. You know what I mean? I

48:44

hate to admit it, but I don't just mean

48:46

like fame or not. It's just a presence a

48:48

person gives off. Some people, you

48:50

just look up and go, hey, it's me. Other people

48:53

are like, oh, hey, you know, like they just... An

48:56

older gentleman dressed nice, distinguished.

48:58

I'm gonna pop up. I'm gonna pop up.

49:01

Little meek 22-year-old kid. Hey,

49:05

you're getting a nod, you know? I

49:08

feel like, I don't know about you, but I feel like

49:11

it's a quick judgment on

49:13

is this work a stand

49:16

or not? Well, I

49:19

was giving a stand to everybody because

49:21

I gave the stand to the... Well,

49:23

listen, I gave the stand to the

49:25

first guy and I felt like now,

49:28

if the second guy came up and he saw

49:30

me stand for the first guy and

49:32

I sit for him, he's gonna

49:35

go, what? He stood for the other guy and he stood for

49:37

me, so I felt like I established a stand from the get

49:39

go. I had to carry that throughout

49:42

the night. No,

49:44

listen, there's a different level though. You

49:46

know, you're dealing with fame here. You'll be doing

49:48

fucking squats all night at this point. Half of

49:50

these people are coming up saying that I hired

49:52

a friend, Bill, hoping Bill's gonna introduce him to

49:54

you anyway and hoping you get up. I

49:57

mean, you know, it's the same thing we were at the

49:59

dinner that time. I mean John May was it

50:01

you know what I mean it was like if

50:03

I knew John May's friend I would have went

50:05

hey Frank oh John so I mean that's so

50:09

you can't you got it you got to sit the

50:11

whole time here's

50:13

another thing and you actually did it in

50:16

this conversation you actually did the

50:18

move that I want to don't

50:20

want to discuss at

50:23

the end of the meal I felt

50:26

the night was over like you

50:29

know you ever feel like okay we're

50:31

all hanging out here it's time to

50:33

go right now

50:37

I do a move where

50:39

I brace myself I'm gonna have to lose the

50:42

microphone to do it I brace myself on the

50:44

get up and I don't do this at any

50:46

other time I get out of a chair only

50:49

when I'm at a dinner and

50:51

I want to signify to the rest

50:53

of the table I'm it's

50:56

over I do this that's

51:01

how I started because I

51:04

feel once you started

51:06

like that other people almost like oh

51:08

there's there's the cue because if I

51:10

just stood up it'd be a

51:12

bropped and nobody would out you know nobody would

51:14

be sitting down but I feel if you do

51:16

this like yeah yeah

51:19

I know oh

51:22

man see

51:27

everybody it's amazing how everybody

51:29

does it with you Wow

51:31

Wow Wow yeah except

51:33

for the women the women they still

51:36

sit because

51:38

they got so much I don't

51:40

know why this is the abundance

51:42

of conversation that women engage

51:44

in at the end of

51:47

the night baffles

51:49

me like you had

51:51

three hours to discuss this now

51:54

we're gonna say goodbye why

51:56

is all this information now

51:58

being exchanged on the goodbye.

52:01

Right. Yeah, just,

52:03

well, you know, they couldn't fit it

52:05

in in the time, I guess. But

52:08

this move that you're saying here, it's

52:10

one thing to go, to kind

52:13

of verbally go, so yeah,

52:16

and like try and give off a verbal

52:18

cue that you want to be ending because

52:20

that can be interpreted. But once a man

52:22

goes like this, and then he has to

52:25

come back down to hear what you had

52:27

to say, everybody knows

52:29

he was already in his dismount.

52:31

He was already, so anything

52:33

now is beyond, this guy wants

52:35

to go, he wants to get the out

52:38

of here. So yeah,

52:40

it's abrupt, it's abrupt though, bro. You're

52:42

like, my move is, basically your move is

52:44

to get up and then stop and give

52:46

a look like what? Well,

52:52

when you stand up, when

52:54

you stand up in the middle, like not the middle

52:57

of the dinner, but like the check is paid, everybody

53:01

had the dessert, it's been cleared, and we're

53:03

all kind of just talking. And

53:06

I feel like there

53:09

could be some verbal cues, like, you

53:11

know, let's say the conversation kind of

53:13

pitters off, it's like, hi, but anyway,

53:16

listen guys, and then I feel like

53:19

there's like a, this

53:22

has been great, you know, like

53:24

kind of ending the night. But

53:26

there's another thing, it was somebody else's birthday

53:29

that we were invited to. So

53:32

here's the question, can

53:34

you, you have

53:36

to follow the birthday couple's

53:39

lead on when the night's over,

53:42

or can you as a guest determine

53:44

I'm done? Because I'm at the age

53:46

now. Yeah. When

53:48

I'm tired, I have to

53:51

leave. Right. Now

53:53

you're done. I

53:55

feel like once dinner and

53:57

dessert is over, it's anything.

54:00

now is extra gravy. I can leave at any

54:02

time. I can leave at any time. I came

54:04

for your birthday. We did eat. Technically,

54:06

you could leave right after the singing

54:08

of the song, if you're doing that. That's

54:11

another thing. They brought the cake out.

54:18

Are you required to sing Happy

54:21

Birthday at a

54:23

restaurant past a certain age? She

54:29

was mid 30s. When are you done with

54:31

Happy Birthday at a restaurant?

54:43

You're bringing up a bigger question because I literally

54:45

had this argument with Jackie yesterday. I'll say how

54:47

I said it for being to her on the

54:49

couch. I said, you know, Jack, I'm going to

54:51

be honest with you. I'm going

54:54

to say, yeah, I

54:56

am too cool for fucking some things.

54:58

I am cooler than other people. All

55:00

right. So when people say, you think

55:03

you're better than some people? Yeah, there's

55:05

some people I'm better than. You ever

55:07

go to a Walmart? Yes, definitely. There

55:09

are definitely people I'm better than. And

55:12

I feel like, you know, something

55:14

like that, singing a Happy Birthday, unless it's

55:16

for your own wife or your mother, I

55:20

have a personal image. I

55:22

can't just be singing Happy Birthday

55:24

at a fucking Applebee's for your

55:26

wife, who I barely know. I

55:28

chat with one. So

55:31

do I go against my image to be

55:33

a part of this thing? Or do I

55:35

risk you thinking I'm a jerk? Because I

55:37

saw a peat. He wasn't even really singing.

55:40

No, I think a position where I got to sing. I

55:43

don't know. I don't know. What do you say? What do you say? What do you say?

55:47

What do you say? What do

55:49

you say? What I said, so mean. Everything

55:51

I just said was so mean. Sorry, folks.

55:54

Why? You're just saying that you

55:56

have an image that you're in people. Well,

56:01

I mean, you think that,

56:03

so... Don't

56:05

you aspire to be better than the guy to your left

56:07

than the guy to your right? Isn't that a goal? Yeah,

56:11

of course it's a goal. I mean, like, you know,

56:13

there's people

56:15

that are cooler than us and

56:18

we're cooler than other people, right?

56:20

Mm-hmm. B, I don't know much about A

56:22

guy, but whatever. You

56:24

don't think there's anybody cooler than you? Us.

56:27

Not really. I mean,

56:30

cooler, cooler... Guys.

56:33

You know, we're like that guy's, you know, we're

56:35

pretty cool dudes, you know what I'm saying? Like,

56:39

rational. You

56:41

know what I'm saying? Because

56:45

you can get too cool and then

56:47

you're like, now you're over cool, now

56:49

you're in meatball territory, you know

56:52

what I'm saying?

56:54

Like Johnny Depp, like, you know, that's like, yeah.

56:56

How many rings are too many

56:59

rings? One too many rings? Cool,

57:01

cool, meep-ball! Oh, shit. So,

57:10

like, all right, I'll give you

57:12

a Clooney, I mean, you know,

57:14

I feel politically sometimes with that

57:17

guy, but he's like, cool. Yeah,

57:19

he's cool. Damn. Cool.

57:22

Yeah. He's cool. Yeah.

57:24

Yeah. And he's like, the

57:26

freakin' should be the example. Anyway,

57:31

continue, sorry. Getting

57:35

back to the birthday song, I

57:37

feel you're guilty if

57:39

you're sitting at a table and they are

57:41

singing the Happy Birthday song and you're not,

57:44

you're just lumped in with that. You're

57:46

like, oh, he's at a table and he's singing. Even

57:49

if you're not singing, you're just lumped in

57:51

with like, almost like Guilty by Association. Interesting,

57:56

I don't know. Like, you get

57:58

you in the Rico act. Yeah, guys. The

58:01

cake came with a candle and

58:03

there was a moment of

58:05

happy birthday and it just

58:08

died. It

58:14

died. It didn't get sung? Because

58:18

only one person started to sing

58:20

it and nobody started to join

58:23

and it's got to be awful.

58:25

If you start the song and

58:27

nobody chimes in and you got

58:29

to go, happy birthday. Oh

58:32

yeah. Oh man. Bro,

58:38

bro. I

58:42

got a child relative that when we do

58:44

happy birthdays and then the Sadie starts to

58:47

do this a little bit too. Happy

58:50

birthday to you. And the

58:52

child would go, cha, cha,

58:54

cha. Like

58:56

that. And I can't do it.

58:58

I ate my kid. But then finally one

59:00

day Sadie did it in the middle of the song. I

59:04

go, just give it a look. Don't fucking cha,

59:06

cha, cha. I don't like adding shit

59:09

to the song. No.

59:12

Now do you feel though, this is so

59:14

fascinating. Sounds

59:16

to me like this, a cut off

59:18

age where adults feel they don't need to

59:20

sing this out loud at a restaurant anymore

59:22

because this clearly happened. I mean with the

59:24

people you're with. Do

59:28

you feel if this was at the home that

59:30

the song would have gone all

59:32

the way through real nice? It was

59:34

specifically because we're at a restaurant. Totally different when

59:37

it's at home because what happens at home generally

59:39

speaking when you bring out the cake, you cut

59:41

the lights. There's

59:43

a candle there and

59:46

then the person maybe doesn't even know

59:48

that they're getting a cake and all

59:50

of a sudden they're like, what? It

59:54

signifies that there's a cake coming out and

59:57

we're going to sing happy birthday. Privacy or

59:59

your own. fine. You're

1:00:01

50 at a nice restaurant where

1:00:04

they're charging $29 to $38 for a plate of pasta.

1:00:08

You don't break into the happy

1:00:10

birthday song and if the

1:00:15

waiter starts

1:00:18

it that's another

1:00:21

thing. It's like the

1:00:23

waiter should not dictate

1:00:27

whether or not we're gonna sing happy birthday. The

1:00:31

waiter can't come in going

1:00:33

happy and then we're like

1:00:35

whoa, yay. He's

1:00:38

just trying to break the tension you know.

1:00:40

He's just tapping the ice first to get the

1:00:43

crack going. Now this brings up another

1:00:47

thing. Can you bring out a little candle

1:00:49

piece of cake or anything with a little

1:00:51

candle lit in it? Does

1:00:54

it automatically require a song? Or can we just

1:00:56

do the candle and go happy birthday Ken? Why

1:00:59

do we automatically train

1:01:01

dogs got to go into this stupid

1:01:03

song man? Yeah I

1:01:06

think if there's a candle and a cake

1:01:08

and you bring it in and then you know like ahhhh.

1:01:14

You see the candle? Everyone goes for the ahhhh.

1:01:17

And

1:01:21

then you get to the like the name

1:01:24

and we go over Ken or Grandpa or

1:01:26

Dad or you're looking for cues. Where do

1:01:28

we go? With all these shit? We're wiggin

1:01:30

this? Oh I

1:01:32

think we may have been into that before. Listen,

1:01:36

I've been at

1:01:38

a kitty party.

1:01:42

Right? And they bring out the cake

1:01:44

and they say happy birthday. When

1:01:46

it gets to the name of the kid, I don't even know the

1:01:48

name of the kid. I got a little shylin on it. I

1:01:54

love it man. Happy birthday

1:01:56

to you. Oh,

1:02:00

his name is Jonathan. I

1:02:02

didn't know that. Oh,

1:02:06

God. I didn't know if we were going

1:02:08

to go with Johnny, John, and Jonathan. I

1:02:10

laid back. I laid back. Well,

1:02:13

how about this, right? Yeah. When

1:02:16

you're singing birthday, let's say

1:02:18

it's my mother, right? I got my

1:02:20

kids there. I'm there. My

1:02:23

wife's there. Do

1:02:25

you go with happy birthday

1:02:27

to grandma? She's

1:02:29

not my grandma. She's the kid's grandma.

1:02:31

She's my mom, right? Right,

1:02:34

right. Yeah. And then my

1:02:36

wife might call my mother Rose. So

1:02:39

there's three names someone's going to spit out

1:02:43

at once. I

1:02:45

go with the kids, what the kids would call, because the

1:02:47

kids are the only one that

1:02:49

aren't smart enough mid-song to realize that's going

1:02:51

to be a problem when we get to

1:02:53

that point. You know, they're going to just

1:02:56

go, grandma! You know, let's just all queue

1:02:58

up with them. Yeah.

1:03:01

Oh, man. Bro, but like, you know, that's

1:03:04

another thing that scares me is like

1:03:06

when you're living in wherever it is,

1:03:08

you're calling home and it's your birthday. It's one

1:03:10

thing when you're on the road, but you're at home and it's your

1:03:12

birthday and midnight comes

1:03:14

to end your birthday and

1:03:16

at no point anybody lit a

1:03:18

candle and put it in front of your face. It's

1:03:22

over. So

1:03:25

well, here's

1:03:29

another thing. If

1:03:31

you take out an 80 year

1:03:33

old grandmother or grandfather to dinner

1:03:35

for their birthday, right? Yeah.

1:03:39

I feel if you're at a restaurant and

1:03:41

like a senior citizen gets a cake

1:03:44

with a candle, then you have to

1:03:46

sing the happy birthday, right? I feel like at

1:03:49

that age, you have

1:03:51

to start singing happy birthday. So the senior

1:03:53

citizen knows what the hell is going on.

1:03:55

You know, like sometimes they just sit in

1:03:57

there and then they get like a cake.

1:04:00

and then like, happy, and

1:04:02

then like, big thing. Because

1:04:07

at that age, bro, that might be the

1:04:10

last happy birthday they even hear, you know

1:04:12

what I'm saying? I know. Yeah. No

1:04:15

shit. Well, with

1:04:17

your 38, 39, whatever, 45, 50, you got a lot of birthdays to come.

1:04:22

You start hitting 80, 85,

1:04:24

this might be the last fucking song you hear. Yeah.

1:04:28

No, listen, I know. Even

1:04:30

when you're mentally not out of it, I'm wondering someday

1:04:32

I'm in a nursing home if I get there and

1:04:35

my birthday and I'm all by myself

1:04:38

and like my nurse, I got a male

1:04:40

nurse named Frank and he goes

1:04:43

to light the candle like, what did I go? Don't

1:04:45

even worry about it, Frank. I

1:04:47

barely even know you. You're getting paid to

1:04:50

be here and light this fucking thing. Just

1:04:52

forget it all. It's over. It's done. If

1:04:54

it ain't somebody who loves you firing

1:04:57

up the candle, then

1:04:59

don't even light it. Don't even like, you

1:05:01

don't care about me. If I died mid-song,

1:05:03

you wouldn't care. So don't even light the

1:05:05

goddamn thing. God

1:05:10

forbid, you're 90 years old in a nursing home. You're in

1:05:12

a wheelchair. They put you in front of a window every

1:05:14

day, right? And you just stare off the window, right? Yeah.

1:05:20

Do you even think, do you even

1:05:22

know it's your birthday? When it comes around?

1:05:25

At that point in your life, everybody's

1:05:27

dead, right? You're

1:05:30

in a wheelchair every day. Applesauce

1:05:34

and whatnot. Do you think, come on. Do

1:05:39

you think you even know it's your birthday

1:05:41

when it comes around? If

1:05:43

they didn't tell you. No.

1:05:45

If they're putting me in front of a

1:05:48

window to stare out into the abyss all

1:05:50

day, I'm probably not aware of what the

1:05:52

date is. I'm with Sadie. I mean, holy

1:05:54

shit, ain't my daughter showing up with a

1:05:57

goddamn candle? But other than that,

1:05:59

you know, bro. Once you go into the home,

1:06:01

it's over. Like, they

1:06:03

come to see you once a month. Come

1:06:05

on. I know,

1:06:07

man. You see ladies coming every day.

1:06:10

Hey, Dad! How are you? Once

1:06:13

a month. Just

1:06:15

put the rag over my mouth

1:06:17

that one of these nights without me knowing

1:06:19

when it's coming. You know? Like,

1:06:23

even if you're in a home and you know

1:06:25

it's still mentally there, do you care? Like, the

1:06:27

nurse comes in. You

1:06:30

know what today is, Mr. Pete? Oh,

1:06:32

God. That's what they call me, Mr. Pete. I

1:06:39

used to do standup, you know? I

1:06:41

know. I heard. Your daughter was here. She

1:06:43

said you were very funny. Oh, I made

1:06:45

him laugh. That's

1:06:55

where we all end up, bro. We end up in

1:06:57

a fucking home with some

1:07:00

stranger feeding us applesauce going,

1:07:02

it's your birthday. Oh, I

1:07:04

know. You go to bed.

1:07:06

You put them olive trees in. If

1:07:10

you're hoping to die like the godfather underneath one

1:07:12

of those olive trees in your backyard. That's it.

1:07:15

Right there. Head first,

1:07:17

right onto the table. Oh,

1:07:22

my God. Too funny. Anyway. All

1:07:25

right, man. This was great. We had a

1:07:27

good time here at the Pete and Sebastian

1:07:29

show. Good stuff. We

1:07:31

will see you next week. Again, we got some

1:07:34

guests coming up. We had to cancel because I

1:07:36

had COVID, but we got some really cool guests

1:07:38

coming up in the next few weeks. So

1:07:40

stay tuned to that. sebastianlive.com.

1:07:42

The tour dates are there.

1:07:46

As Pete mentioned, there's a fifth show we

1:07:48

added. It's a Sunday night. I think it's

1:07:50

September 21st, 22nd. So

1:07:54

go get your tickets for that show as well

1:07:56

as the rest of the tour. And

1:07:59

that's it. We will see you next week. Good

1:08:02

hanging out. Look

1:08:04

around. These are great.

1:08:08

They're the best of you. The

1:08:15

show has ended. Cranberry

1:08:20

and soda. We were out

1:08:22

to dinner tonight. Have fun tonight.

1:08:30

Thanks for

1:08:32

watching.