The trio flies by the seats of their pants to make good on a premise laid out in book one, *banking* on one evil hair to disguise Hermione (and her voice) perfectly. Griphook keeps a tight grip on ol' Hook, Travers finds an amazing hiding spot

The 2019 Real Weird Holiday Special

Dec 28th, 2019 1h 56m

As 2019 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. Join us as we rank the best magical locations to celebrate the holidays with returning guest Kate Hildner (@khildner11), go on a choose-your-own-corny-Holiday-a

7.25 Shell Cottage

Dec 23rd, 2019 1h 13m

Harry concocts a despicable plan to double-cross Griphook, though it's not nearly as vile as breaking into Dumbledore's tomb - he could never have done that. Fleur--who is not an owl--escapes from ze Grindylows long enough to give Aunt Muriel b

7.24 The Wandmaker

Dec 16th, 2019 1h 42m

It's back to the book club as Alice and Martha dive into "The Wandmaker," alternatively named "The Banker." Harry makes his decision in the Horcruxes vs. Hallows debate, and he is incredibly confident and assured in the wake of Dobby's funeral.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 Movie Review

Dec 8th, 2019 2h 47m

Alice and seven Marthas are joined by Jessica Liese (@HaymakerHattie) and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to review Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersSpoiler warning

7.23 Malfoy Manor

Dec 2nd, 2019 1h 47m

Numerous plots converge in what is definitely (SPOILER ALERT!) the best chapter of the book so far. Luna, Ollivander, Dean, Aberforth, Draco, Bellatrix, Griphook, Greyback, Grindelwald, and Wormtail all play important roles in the action, but n

7.22 The Deathly Hallows

Nov 25th, 2019 1h 27m

Watch Harry descend into madness as he contemplates the Elder Wand... the Resurrection Stone... the Cloak of Invisibility! Hermione is most skeptical, but old Xeno was right- she is limited. Narrow. Close-minded. Ron provides the trio with some

7.21 The Tale of the Three Brothers

Nov 18th, 2019 1h 37m

This episode is set at midnight, not twilight - much spookier! Stretch out on the couch with your hands behind your head, sip your delicious Gurdyroot infusion, and eat some Freshwater Plimpy soup while you listen to Alice and Martha discuss He

7.20 Xenophilius Lovegood

Nov 10th, 2019 1h 22m

The gang's back together, but Ron has some serious and somber work cut out for him when it comes to winning Hermione over again, and tuning the wireless radio certainly isn't helping. Luckily, Harry and Ron are very subtly able to get away to "

7.19 The Silver Doe

Nov 3rd, 2019 1h 36m

Harry, dressed in all the sweaters he owns and running on two nights without sleep, makes the wise decision to follow a mysterious doe (dough?) deep into the Forest of Dean. Ron, with a ball of light inside his chest (we must have heard that wr

7.18 The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore

Oct 27th, 2019 1h 15m

Yet another cheery chapter to brighten your Monday! Harry finally gets the savage pleasure of finding out the "truth" that old Batty and Enid Smeek shared (willingly or not) with the world's most reliable narrator, Rita Skeeter, and the truth i

7.17 Bathilda's Secret

Oct 21st, 2019 1h 26m

The Christmas fun continues as the bald man and the little woman head to old Batty's house. To be fair, she was very persuasive and acting totally normal! This is one of Voldemort's weakest plans that should have never worked, but to Hermione's

7.16 Godric's Hollow

Oct 14th, 2019 1h 39m

This chapter is a major emotional journey. Undesirable Number One finds himself pining for his ex-girlfriend (probably Cho; it is unclear from the context) and entertaining unrealistic theories about the sword in order to get his way. And betwe

7.15 The Goblin's Revenge

Oct 7th, 2019 1h 42m

The lack of bacon sandwiches is really starting to get to everyone, and it's a real slap of fish on the flesh when they realize they've completely forgotten about the possibility of "Accio Salmon!" Harry, Ron, and Hermione get their first excit

7.14 The Thief

Sep 29th, 2019 1h 4m

It's finally time for some CAMPING!! The trio is now on the run, and Kreacher's delicious steak and kidney pie has to be swapped out for some rubbery mushrooms stewed in a billycan. This chapter is full of déjà vu moments, from Harry forgetting

7.13 The Muggle-Born Registration Commission

Sep 23rd, 2019 1h 20m

The trio continues with their extremely well-thought-out plan at the Ministry, with only a few tiny hiccups along the way. With Hermione and Ron busy doing the actual jobs of their alter egos, Harry checks a most unlikely location for the locke

7.12 Magic Is Might

Sep 16th, 2019 1h 11m

One of the biggest mysteries of the book is introduced and resolved over the course of this enigmatic chapter, and no, we're not talking about the mystery of why JK Rowling seems to think even and odd house numbers are on the same side of the s

7.11 The Bribe

Sep 8th, 2019 1h 37m

An extremely aged Lupin, bearing a strong resemblance to Jacob Marley, shows up at Grimmauld Place to inform the trio of the Death Eaters outside, propose a tempting plan, and drop some very surprising news about Tonks. Harry tries out the name

7.10 Kreacher's Tale

Sep 2nd, 2019 1h 40m

Once again, the starting page number of this chapter proves to be very significant as Kreacher reveals his story to the trio. But before we get to the elf tale, Harry spends some time ransacking Sirius's bedroom, under the watchful eye of sever

7.9 A Place to Hide

Aug 26th, 2019 1h 27m

The trio lands in the middle of London--but NOT on Shaftesbury Avenue--and Ron and Harry (or should we still be calling him Barny??) look extra cool in their dress robes. It's a good thing that Hermione turns out to be more skilled at undetecta

7.8 The Wedding

Aug 19th, 2019 1h 28m

Thanks to Cousin Barny's outstanding attention span, this vunderful chapter is filled with beautiful wedding quotes, which are quite useful for social media posts when people you love get married! This chapter also brings the long-awaited intro

7.7 The Will of Albus Dumbledore

Aug 12th, 2019 1h 50m

Harry finally comes of age, so it's time to really put his magic skills to the test and make some stuff fly around the room! It's also time to try out a few of the twelve fail-safe ways to charm witches on both of the Weasley women, though Ron

7.6 The Ghoul in Pajamas

Aug 4th, 2019 1h 21m

Harry's struggle with his savior complex has never been more real, and there's just no time for anything so completely trivial as vol-au-vents or family weddings! Unfortunately for him, Mrs. Weasley (whose eyes are the exact same shade of brown

7.5 Fallen Warrior

Jul 28th, 2019 1h 23m

Martha may not be as excited about this week’s chapter art as she was last week, but the characters do remind us of a certain Hundred Acre Wood character, to everyone’s surprise! Also included this week are the many things we “do like,” Harry

7.4 The Seven Potters

Jul 21st, 2019 1h 25m

The moment we've all been dreading has finally arrived, so have a seat on the washing machine, pour yourself a tall glass of Harry-flavored Polyjuice Potion (it's much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle!) and drink to our poor sweet girl, the true f