0:05

Yes, this is relevant. It's

0:19

episode. Eleven Sixty Seven and it's the

0:21

relevant August here in Orlando. I'm your

0:23

host. Cameras during and journey me from

0:25

Liberal in Virginia. It's just a Gary,

0:27

hello Lola. And. From L

0:29

A, you know from Social Club Misfits. it's

0:31

Marty. As I Live and breathe. People

0:33

on As I Live and Breathe. Now

0:36

you know you might have noticed, dear

0:38

Listener, that in the last few weeks.

0:41

Were. Primarily playing with three people on a

0:43

show, I've been playing it off I go

0:45

so it's those traveling So there is also

0:47

been Strategic Robot we're We're playing with the

0:50

cast dynamic, know all the cast members are

0:52

still in the mix, but we're shuffling the

0:54

deck. To see an

0:56

hour ago. so let us know on twitter and stuff

0:58

if you. Miss. Five people

1:00

screaming on top of each other. Or a few.

1:02

The lanka. The. Looseness of a

1:04

three person episodes will see us doing

1:07

good games. You know it's just delia,

1:09

you know? Part of the reason is

1:11

because you know why we're very excited

1:13

about the Olympics or two or three

1:15

on three basketball. The sheer nine hundred

1:17

or less and and real isn't really

1:20

athletic. Three is going to the Olympics

1:22

face tree. I St Paul now he

1:24

is but like it's it's really injured

1:26

because I was like oh you know,

1:28

is it gonna be like yeah, if

1:30

I were constructing like an M B

1:32

A team. Of three and three players I'd

1:35

for I've you know I would be fun

1:37

to die to that our experiment but it's

1:39

not, it's. You.

1:41

Know it's not guys currently in a

1:43

be A because it's it's a different

1:45

game. It is one of the I'm

1:48

pulling off the the roster here in

1:50

one of faster it's earthquake. He knows

1:52

when in one guy is known as

1:54

your nose on magic. Those three guys

1:57

medicines and earthquake restaurants all El Salvador.

2:00

Salvador, they lost like 97 to

2:02

like 12. Like imagine like three

2:04

of those like Harlem Globetrotters like

2:06

bouncing off people's heads. That'd be

2:08

an etsin Olympics. I want to

2:10

see hot sauce puts the ball

2:12

under like some like Norwegian guys.

2:14

Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's so

2:16

I think I'm glad we're talking

2:18

about this because this is my favorite

2:20

sports team that's ever been constructed. Okay, this is

2:23

a three on three team. One

2:25

of the players shoots underhand like granny

2:27

shots. It's a gamer

2:29

free throws free throws. Okay, but

2:32

still, it's Canyon Barry,

2:34

that you know, of the Barry

2:36

fit Rick Barry. Oh, right. Yeah,

2:38

he I think he played for Florida. Yeah, I

2:41

know. He continued his dad's

2:43

weird legacy of shooting free throws

2:45

underhanded. So so we have one

2:47

granny shot shooter. We have one

2:50

former professional podcast producer at who

2:53

worked for gimlet, like the podcast

2:55

studio. Seriously? Yes, he was like

2:58

a college basketball player, like

3:00

dabbled in pro but decided he wanted to get

3:02

into true crime podcasting. He's been like

3:04

a true crime podcast producer at Gimlet,

3:06

which is like a legit this isn't

3:09

like podcasting. This

3:11

is professional podcast shooter, a

3:13

granny shot shooter, and Jimmer

3:15

for debt. The new way

3:18

the Mormon. Unbelievable

3:21

college basketball player shooter but could not

3:23

hang in the modern VA. Those

3:25

are who we got. That is USA

3:28

right there underhanded shooter, podcaster, and

3:30

Jimmer ball man, I cannot wait. This is my

3:32

favorite. professionals. Is that what it is? Are they

3:34

now that is it just like, is it like

3:37

a one of those systems where it's like elimination

3:39

where you just put your name in and they

3:41

got the three people like how did they form

3:43

they said what's is the most interesting combination of

3:46

humans we can get? What about a granny shooter

3:48

a podcaster? Do we have a

3:50

direct comp here? I'm the podcaster. Jesse,

3:53

you're Jimmer ball. And Marty's clearly the

3:55

underhand free throw shooter. Now I

3:57

do that when I bowl too. Generally

4:00

I underhand everything. I think the idea

4:03

I i don't think that much that

4:05

like in be a professional baseball translates

4:07

to the three on three game. I

4:09

actually think that the it's it's a

4:11

little bit different than to be all

4:13

that but the big three like that

4:15

dog Summer league of the ice cube

4:18

started with a lot of former pro

4:20

players that have adapted. oh I'm sorry

4:22

Ball Three three person I know, barely

4:24

watchable. Have you ever wonder his i

4:26

i feel like god the soundtracks ago

4:28

whistle at the news. That

4:31

guy like playing basketball said i like that's

4:33

the level of quality they are a no,

4:35

no, I'm I'm very much looking for. I

4:37

know it's like table tennis to tennis here.

4:40

I mean like I'm not going to put

4:42

like yeah I'm sure nothing of the like

4:44

a famous than a slave by the Emperor

4:46

would earn a reverend with areas there for

4:49

it said as he he's only been retired

4:51

for twenty years. Ah, Mcenroe Iverson Aggro Film

4:53

School Who is that the rebel guy in

4:55

the eighties? The other analyses on either Aggie

4:58

hang on. A lot of issues. Are

5:00

still fire if you look of I

5:02

might as yeah Fern whereas I'm still

5:04

he wears them They I saw on

5:06

that there was a Best Seekers or

5:08

Time John Mcenroe John Mcenroe d Acidic

5:11

a lab with Travis got his shoes

5:13

dog I am those old nineties the

5:15

Agassi than Macros are fire to I'm

5:17

looking unclear Agassi to call the Nike

5:19

Air Tech Challenge the and there's a

5:21

couple different like collars to There's a

5:23

couple like vintage shoes that are really

5:26

neuron renounce splatter paint on the on

5:28

the part of the design. For.

5:30

Hims. But either way I'm all about this,

5:32

this this and be at this as A

5:34

M B A. This is nowhere near the

5:36

A The A this of Usa Olympic three

5:38

on three to. I just love that they

5:40

take the most fascinating group. I feel like

5:43

this is a movie waiting to happen here.

5:45

I mean like like.in all look like I

5:47

can see the guy why he's got his

5:49

his headphones on. He's in the game with

5:51

City of Mix in some murder Pod. You.

5:54

Know and he gets and and any it's a call

5:56

and it's like an unknown number. And. Teacher

5:58

for voicemail to Jimmer Fredette. You

6:00

know, like, like, I want to know

6:02

who who the who USA

6:04

has has recruited for our

6:06

breakdancing Olympic team. Oh,

6:09

yeah, there's a breakdancing challenge. Yeah. Like,

6:11

is there a random podcasters? Or is

6:13

it like, like, actual amazing? Like, is

6:15

it weird when you have like the

6:17

American team, like, for instance, like the

6:20

breakdance team is all Asians. And

6:22

it's like versus China, you know, like, which China

6:24

is like, or like Japan, where they really take

6:26

it seriously. It always feels like a little odd

6:28

to me, like, I don't know, is that is

6:31

that I don't know if it's legal, not that

6:33

not that white, like males are American. It's just

6:35

that like, you guys invented it

6:37

over there. And then we have your children

6:39

playing it doing it versus, you know, like,

6:41

we're doing it better. It's yeah, and it's

6:43

like, it's like baseball. It's like we have

6:46

it's like America. And then our entire team

6:48

is like the Yankees, which are all Dominican

6:50

and Puerto Rican. And we're just crushing everybody,

6:52

you know, I like

6:54

I like to the Olympics are just like,

6:56

Look, man, let's get weird this

6:59

year. Like, let's just get weird. Like, we've

7:01

got enough track and field like how we've

7:04

seen people throw, you know, the shot put and

7:06

and run around the track. We got it. We

7:09

got it. Let's get weird. Sometimes

7:11

I think the the trans thing is just them

7:13

marketing poise like, Hey, let's just throw a girl

7:15

in it. Who cares? This

7:18

person in use of Marty do not represent

7:20

the relevant. Let's

7:23

mix it up. Let's mix it up

7:25

this year. All right, I got a

7:28

great idea. Caitlin Clark versus no, I

7:32

am on goat calm right now

7:34

shopping for the Andre Agassiz. And

7:38

my friend certain sizes go up to $2,400. But

7:42

they're pretty cool. Okay, here's what I guys are $608. Here's what

7:45

I want for the next summer games 2028. I want

7:47

co-ed. Carefully

8:00

Softball. And. Ah

8:02

to be a member, how would you hire

8:04

a member of a church fright to be

8:07

eligible? It's gotta be carefully because that's a

8:09

different game the A L it's going to

8:11

it is probably them use the Muslim countries

8:13

can participate in. That is why I didn't

8:15

say what what dog religion you just as

8:18

ill fated to music as a smooth yeah

8:20

is the circulate the synagogue versus the mosque

8:22

versus the lawyers Yeah do I see Jewish

8:24

been guys are playing the i don't know

8:26

if I see that by the art and

8:29

is again the views of realm of Marty

8:31

do not. Necessarily mean I mean yeah, I

8:33

here's the thing why people don't know that

8:35

I had a good a Jewish summer camp

8:38

as a kid Because the community I live

8:40

in Florida there's no like just. Like.

8:42

This like just any kids can buy. Had a

8:45

little a Jewish summer camp for years so you

8:47

know have a lot of friends with. You.

8:49

Know and that and I just know

8:51

that they're not. Than that they'll play

8:53

baseball as as and municipally my mommy

8:55

Than.is more more problem Again, the views

8:57

as he wasn't that is a sorbet.

8:59

When when it when is your sub

9:02

brand or like kickball and and dodgeball

9:04

to the Olympics of the I feel

9:06

like were eventually heading in that direction.

9:08

competitive kickball would be insane. I would

9:10

love it on me I one real

9:12

jacked up athletes with massively strong legs

9:14

and runs every time. Images be like

9:16

when I'm on a Mother Linda no

9:18

more softball day limit. And softball you can

9:20

only if you're only allowed to harm on the game

9:22

and he added deploy them for tediously. Oh

9:25

wow, Why we play Iga adult leagues softball?

9:27

you can't just hit as far every time.

9:29

he only had a couple per game. So.

9:31

You want to use them after you eat

9:33

or in san So she's used up here

9:35

to indeed hit a dinger is that out

9:37

as an hour allow and so that's why

9:39

you wanna like load out the bases then

9:41

hit your day or but then say that

9:43

for a point the game when you have

9:45

any any wife's note here's here's here's the

9:47

goat. This is the one the needs to

9:49

happen. You. guys ever seen kids

9:51

by red rover i picked up young

9:53

you know where it's just whining kids

9:56

up an average smash the each other

9:58

as long time They

10:01

always pick the two girls and it's like a

10:03

big guy just plowing through. Adult Olympic

10:05

red rover where you have the biggest, meanest people

10:07

in the whole country just plowing through each other.

10:10

Fourth grade I made a girl cry. I

10:13

plowed through her on purpose and

10:15

like snapped her arm. Like she acted like

10:17

a pro kid. I didn't

10:19

break you. I liked her. Yeah, of course it was

10:21

the girl that I wanted to get her attention. Of

10:24

course, yeah. And she hated me. It backfired. But wouldn't

10:26

you want to be a adult? I haven't played red

10:28

rover since fourth grade. But wouldn't you want to see

10:30

adults do it on the Olympic level? I

10:33

would love to. I feel like Russia would win.

10:35

I don't know why. Just like Ukraine, you're rushing

10:38

the arm wrestling or the fight.

10:40

It's almost like that crazy arm

10:42

strength. Because red rover is all

10:44

about keeping the grip. You know what

10:47

I mean? You did not let that person break through.

10:50

How many broken arms and fingers do you

10:52

think we'd see? I mean every match. Powdered

10:54

hands doing this. I would love to see

10:56

dodgeball. I've

10:58

been seeing on my feed right now. There

11:01

are some really competitive dodgeball like

11:03

co-ed leaks. And some of these

11:05

guys, they're just dominating. Behind

11:08

the head shots and they're allowing faces to

11:10

get hit. You can still get hit in

11:12

the face now. Pretty amazing stuff. I'll tell

11:14

you this. I watched some competitive tag on the

11:16

Ocho one day. Now that,

11:18

those Ocho, they are athletes. I don't know

11:20

how we were watching it. They have those old cages.

11:23

They roll around. They are athletes. They

11:25

are nimble. I love it. Yeah, they're squeezing

11:27

through. You can see

11:29

some podcasters making the Olympic tag team.

11:31

You know what I'm saying? Like, you

11:33

get real people who are just quick.

11:35

The tag team. I like just spry.

11:37

It's just our country's most

11:40

spry. Why

11:42

don't these games exist? I mean I

11:44

know on ESPN randomly in the middle

11:46

of the summer you might see some

11:49

cornhole and stuff like that. There

11:51

used to be games of all these random

11:54

sports or games. There should be a event.

11:56

I'd watch it. Yeah, I'd watch it but

11:58

I'd also feel like whoever would fund it

12:00

would absolutely lose money. But if I was like Jeff

12:03

Bezos or something, we would have the recess

12:05

bowl and the country's finest recess athletes as

12:07

adults would come and compete in all of

12:09

these. You need someone like The Rock to

12:11

be like a sponsor of it or something

12:13

like that. Or he's like, you know,

12:15

or like somebody with just like a jacked arm

12:17

that knows the throw and I

12:19

don't know, I feel like it could go somewhere

12:22

if you have the right way. All these billionaires

12:24

want to invest in like going to space. Okay,

12:26

fine. I'm doing something different with

12:28

my with my billions. That that's how my

12:30

perspective you guys can have the skies. I'm

12:32

having the playgrounds. That's that's my motto. That'd

12:35

be that not the Olympic Games would be the playground games.

12:38

It's adult playground. I love it. Would

12:40

you say it was a recess? Yeah,

12:42

it's called the world's recess. And the

12:44

world takes a recess. And

12:46

we play these games, we all come together

12:48

and we play. I don't like recess recesses.

12:51

Like I used to go chill under the

12:53

one tree. You know, like I didn't do

12:55

anything during recess. We would even have bleachers,

12:57

stands or bleachers. I like playground because it's

13:00

about playing these games playground, the

13:02

playground game. If I'm funding this operation, I get

13:04

to I'm

13:08

the millionaire here and this imaginary store.

13:10

I'm the billionaire, please. All right, we

13:12

have a great show in store for

13:15

you today. Coming up later, we talked

13:17

to speaker and author, Ashley Island. She

13:19

has a new book out that addresses

13:21

a very timely topic. You know, it's

13:24

an election year, there's gonna be a

13:26

lot of tense conversations, disagreements. She talks

13:28

about how to engage those things in

13:31

a positive way, a

13:33

Christlike way. You don't want to miss that

13:35

conversation. Also, at the end of the show,

13:37

there's a lot of college grads out there

13:40

who now have no clue what to do.

13:43

So we have an edition of Ask the

13:45

Cast recent college grad edition.

13:47

You don't want to miss that. That's at the end

13:49

of the show. But stay tuned up next. It's

13:51

slices. You're

14:02

listening to

14:05

Empire of the

14:08

Sun. The

14:26

song is music on the radio. Well,

14:28

today's show is brought to you in

14:30

part by The Grace Project, a compelling

14:32

new novel by author Kyle Bullock. The

14:34

story uncovers the details of a violent

14:36

crime tied to a small town church

14:39

and the four members at the center

14:41

of it all. Their lives collide as

14:43

they confront weighty issues like racial equality,

14:45

political divide, and LGBTQ inclusion through the

14:47

lens of biblical grace. The Grace Project

14:49

is perfect for individuals or small groups

14:51

and is available now on Amazon in

14:54

paperback, Kindle, or download on Audible. Well,

14:56

today's show is brought to you in part by

14:58

Company of Saints. If you're looking

15:01

for an original sound in Christian

15:03

music, revitalize your playlist with Company

15:05

of Saints' new album, Philosophers and

15:07

Poets, a genre-blending fusion of Christian

15:09

electronic vibes. Explore the depths

15:11

of faith, philosophy, and poetry through thought-provoking

15:14

words and melodies. It's not

15:16

just music, it's a journey of self-discovery and

15:18

spiritual connection. Stream it now on your favorite

15:20

platforms and experience a fresh take on Christian

15:22

music. Find out what fans of

15:24

Company of Saints love about the Tin Gem.

15:28

Alright, it's time for... ...Lices!

15:32

What do you have, Jesse? Alright, so

15:35

it's recently been announced that Netflix, Peacock,

15:37

and Apple TV+. They

15:41

are planning on joining forces for a new

15:43

bundle that will offer all

15:45

three at a very reduced price. So they

15:47

haven't told us what that price

15:49

will be. It'll be called the Stream Saver

15:51

and it'll be a bundle that'll be offered

15:53

through Comcast. Now

15:56

this comes on the heels of

15:58

Disney and Warner. announcing

16:00

their own bundle, which would be Max,

16:02

Disney, Disney Plus, and Hulu,

16:05

that's gonna launch later this summer. And

16:07

again, they're still planning on announcing

16:09

pricing and they're gonna have a streaming

16:11

bundle that also has like sports. Yeah,

16:13

Warner Brothers Discovery, Fox, and Disney.

16:16

So essentially, it's just repackaging

16:18

different cable. It's

16:20

like here's a bunch of channels

16:23

with ad-supported programming and you're gonna

16:25

be paying for a whole lot of content

16:27

that you won't be seeing. The whole point

16:29

of going to streaming was I just watched

16:31

Netflix, I only gonna pay for Netflix, I

16:33

don't watch all those other channels and now

16:35

nope, just pay for all the channels again.

16:37

So over the weekend, regionally,

16:40

the our provider Fios that I'm calling

16:42

about, I don't care because I long

16:44

talked with their customer service and they

16:47

did not care about my plight. They pulled the two

16:49

channels that carry regional

16:52

baseball and that was the

16:54

whole reason I still maintain cable because it's the

16:56

only place you can watch these baseball games without

16:58

buying the MLB package. In order to get those

17:00

channels back, which you're already paying for, you had

17:02

to go up 60 bucks a month. Okay,

17:06

for just to maintain what you are already

17:08

paying for. Right. Get those local

17:10

channels for baseball. I told them on the phone, I'm

17:13

planning on canceling my service and I'm gonna find

17:15

a stream, I'm trying to all stream, I'm cutting

17:17

the cape, I'm cutting the cord, as they say.

17:19

And now they did say, would you like us

17:21

just cancel it now? And it's like, well, no,

17:23

it's gonna take me a while to figure all

17:25

this out. And that's the whole thing. I spent

17:27

the afternoon like doing the math on different services

17:29

and like, okay, if I get this on YouTube

17:31

TV and I get this on MLB and then

17:33

I'll get the NBA thing. It

17:35

was so confusing. And then it's like, well, then

17:37

I won't get the same cell phone discount and

17:39

this and that. I

17:42

got stressed out and I decided to

17:45

hold off on my decision because

17:47

it's way too confusing. And that's what they're counting on, frankly.

17:50

Yeah, it's too stressful. There's all these bundles. You're not

17:52

quite sure like what am I gonna miss? Like I

17:54

had to, I subscribed to peacock last year to

17:56

watch one playoff football game, right? And then I had

17:58

to cancel after a month. month. And

18:01

it was just basically

18:03

paying $8.99 to watch a football game. I've

18:06

got the solution, though. Okay, but this has gotten

18:08

too complicated. And it's only getting more complicated. There's

18:10

too many bundles, too many this. All

18:13

a cart programming. That's a

18:16

great idea. I like that. 50 cents an

18:18

hour or whatever. Right? And

18:21

So it's like the old theme park model. Now

18:23

you go to Disney World, you have to pay

18:25

150 bucks for a ticket, but you go you

18:27

get access to everything. When they first started Disney

18:30

World, you got a ticket book. And it had

18:32

different different tickets for different level

18:34

of rides, almost like the county fair

18:36

e ticket down to a ticket, they

18:38

cost different amounts, certain rides or

18:40

e tickets, certain rates, there was no entry fee,

18:42

you got in for free, and then you just

18:44

buy your little dual ride. Yeah. Well, I'm saying

18:47

you don't even buy individual rides. It's like the

18:49

old internet model. You pay by the

18:51

hour for every hour I'm on, I pay like

18:53

a dollar like the cell phone model like Oh,

18:55

I'm out of minutes. Nine

18:57

o'clock and it's unlimited. Exactly. So the more

18:59

I watch the more minutes I pay and

19:01

it doesn't matter what I watch. I'm just

19:03

paying it just the meters going up right?

19:05

Like, just like it

19:08

feels expensive. For

19:10

me it would be because I have the TV

19:12

on. Yeah, you walk away off of work to

19:15

like two in the morning. I'm saying I left

19:17

it on all night. Oh, I

19:19

owe $100. Where just give me an option where it's

19:21

just the meters running. And when I turn it off,

19:23

it's off. This is always do you

19:25

guys disagree? This is way too

19:27

complicated. Like everyone will never happen first of all.

19:30

But I do think it thinks

19:32

that the cable companies that

19:34

are freaking out that everybody's going to streaming

19:36

this new model has figured out a way.

19:39

Yeah, to force us back into their old

19:42

way again, you know, because like

19:44

the discount thing, the bundle discount,

19:46

it's like you don't want to pay if you do it all

19:48

a cart and you know, peacocks non-ad

19:52

supported is 15 bucks and this one's 15 bucks and

19:54

that one's 45 bucks or you could bundle it for

19:56

29. You're just kind

19:59

of like All right, I'll bundle it

20:01

and then you're locked into this bundle and then guess

20:03

what they're gonna do in a few months? 29's

20:06

gonna be 32 and 32's gonna

20:08

be 35 and then like that's how they get

20:10

you Don't need savings over

20:12

canceling it, you know, so well, that's what

20:14

I'm saying I I know the meters thing will

20:17

never happen But but there's got

20:19

to be some alternative to just these

20:21

complicated bundles, which you you're not entirely

20:24

Most of what you're watching most of what you

20:26

pay for you don't even watch, you know Like

20:28

or can it you feel like the old iTunes store

20:31

or just like look man 99 cents by so

20:33

this is easy, dude I could do that like

20:35

a Fort 299 for a show that's

20:37

not bad Like hey, I want to say this one thing

20:39

but you don't know if you like the show or not,

20:42

you know Like yeah, it's like the old app

20:44

You got to listen to like 15 seconds of

20:46

the song and then you decide if you wanted

20:48

to buy it for 99 cents That's

20:51

that that was the brilliance of the the music store

20:53

back in the day when you got the iPod and

20:55

you're like, dude This is the whole new way to

20:57

buy music. Listen a little song preview, you know a

20:59

banger worth my 99 cent boom Put

21:01

it it's on the iPad. Just do

21:03

the same thing watch a little watch a little trailer for the

21:05

show You know what what

21:07

the risk reward? It's like I wasted three bucks.

21:09

Okay. Well, at least that three bucks didn't go

21:12

to a bundle It wasn't 60 that that's the

21:14

dies a package that I didn't watch in the

21:16

first place, you know, I Do

21:19

I think do think it's interesting what the NBA

21:21

is doing? They're negotiating their next meteorite steel right

21:23

now right now This is

21:25

all ESPN or TNT basically

21:28

and and regional local channels So for me,

21:30

I have your conundrum

21:33

Jesse watching the magic is

21:35

like I didn't want to pay for cable But

21:37

I want to watch Magic games. So

21:39

I just bought the Ballet Sports

21:42

app directly for Magic. Oh, wow It was 20 bucks

21:44

a month which feels ridiculous

21:46

to watch one team paying

21:49

20 bucks a month but What

21:51

they're doing Now the next deal is

21:53

Amazon acquired all those regional Channels like

21:56

all the Bali stuff will be on

21:58

Amazon Prime next year. When.

22:01

they're negotiating of meteorite the or that will have

22:03

to me a pin. Amazon. Is

22:05

gonna have a bunch of India games. And.

22:07

Then now at the old school and be a on.

22:10

Nbc is probably come back. Aloof.

22:12

they can be see his outbidding

22:14

Tnt Young I'm so. So.

22:16

I'll have that peacock. Ah, Top

22:19

Amazon Prime Video. And. I'll have

22:21

to have you know any of the and package

22:23

to watch in be a games of what but

22:25

what is T and is is Is this a

22:27

Lithium? Be a what Do they have Reruns of

22:29

Charmed. Sounds. Like a

22:31

crime crime shows on they like crime dramas

22:33

like Law and Order and stuff like me

22:35

i see you as a nurse bike is

22:37

for thought the of them like how many

22:39

episodes as charm have you accidently watch for

22:41

us up in the morning I'm still at

22:43

the are it happens to me once a

22:46

week where I turn on the tv i

22:48

sell c bosh basket on I turned it

22:50

on and some which shell from the nine

22:52

yeah I had else I mean there's i

22:54

guess one show and he had seen as

22:56

a named after pasta recent. my dad likes

22:58

rizzoli and like for snow or something active.

23:00

Wake up in the morning and it's I see

23:03

like I feel like on purpose they don't like

23:05

mixes, sound or a set of nowhere to stay

23:07

here, a woman yelling and without going on and

23:09

I'm glad you're not only oh yeah was a

23:12

wish his passive was over my lesson on with

23:14

it like to passes were like that happens me

23:16

all the time. As a kid I'd wake up

23:18

in an ole boy whose screaming and it's it's

23:20

in his room but but if they don't have

23:23

the in the a how my accidently gonna watch

23:25

any of their other programming exactly why I'm not

23:27

mad at us because were you the if the

23:29

if him if. He. Does actually outbid Tnt which

23:32

is still up in the Airbus Looking likely

23:34

we're going to get the John Tesh theme

23:36

song back and so. Ah,

23:40

Back as bad as and

23:42

Or.words as any of those

23:45

so go out with earlier.

23:47

Him Robinson and Rob Death.

23:50

The Offices. Are I

23:52

ah Woody of America? was

23:54

going on guys eyes so i have isis has

23:57

to do and and as like my calling card

23:59

or so have a serious problem

24:02

in society right now. Men

24:06

are struggling and men do not know how

24:08

to clean themselves. Slay just

24:10

did an article about how women,

24:13

especially wives are finding out that

24:15

their husband, husbands do not

24:17

know how to shower properly, do not know how

24:20

to wash their bodies. And so we

24:22

have a we have a journalist who

24:25

is in his Farhad he went into

24:27

Reddit and started doing deep dives into

24:29

hygiene habits of men. And

24:32

he found he found this troubling

24:34

pandemic here. It almost

24:36

reminds me of this tweet that went

24:38

viral about two weeks ago, where it's

24:40

like, do you wash your like, do

24:43

you wash your legs? You know, do you wash your

24:45

below your knees? Do you wash your legs? Some

24:47

people don't, some people don't, they don't, they don't

24:49

go all the way down, they just go feet

24:51

and go right to they do the rest. They

24:55

let it all down. And so we're having an

24:57

issue here. And I could tell you because I

24:59

lived on the road with men. I mean, I've

25:01

toured for 10 years. And

25:04

men really have, we have issues,

25:06

we do have issues. But what's

25:08

a part of the article was talking

25:10

about how it just got gotten consistently

25:12

worse. But has it or

25:14

is it just or do we live

25:16

in an age of hyper transparency where,

25:19

you know, we're up until pre internet,

25:22

your hygiene, your shower hygiene habits, I

25:24

didn't need to know. And I there was no way for me to

25:27

find out. And it was really new. We're

25:29

going with celebrities. We get like weekly updates. Yeah,

25:31

celebrities now it's and most of it was just

25:33

what they were to like a Starbucks one day.

25:35

And just to find out they're just like us.

25:37

But now you know, it's

25:39

true. We do know a lot. And I feel

25:42

like in school, though. I mean,

25:45

I would open showers at school. I don't know if

25:47

you guys had that, but we had open showers. But

25:49

we you know, you wash yourself in like swim trunks

25:51

or something like that. And there was

25:53

a lot of times where people would just hop in

25:55

and they would not either not take a shower, they

25:57

would hop into a quick wash and then leave and

26:00

guys would be like, you're not gonna wash your body. Like,

26:02

that's disgusting. And so I do

26:04

feel like bullying has helped me out. I

26:07

saw kids get bullied in the shower, like,

26:09

he's not washing his, you know, and you're

26:11

just like looking at them and you're like,

26:13

I'm not gonna be that person. But it's

26:15

gotten to the point where as wise. You

26:17

know, that was the

26:19

under-reported positive benefits of

26:21

bullying in your youth. Yeah, bullying could be

26:24

good. I'm a fan for lighting. I need

26:26

you and get better hygiene. Okay. Yeah.

26:30

And so I also feel like, I mean, a

26:32

lot of men don't even know how to

26:35

wash their bodies. And one of the articles, one of

26:37

the quotes was, her

26:39

husband grabbed a sponge, like a

26:41

sponge he would wash his dishes with.

26:43

Like a dish? Yeah, like

26:45

a scrub daddy, if you will. And

26:48

he's washing his body with that and

26:50

he thought that that was appropriate. And

26:52

it's becoming- Hold on, let me ask

26:54

this. That

26:56

thing can scrub dried eggs

26:58

off of a nonstick pan.

27:01

Okay. Yeah. You're telling

27:03

me it can't handle under my arms? That's way

27:06

better than a lupa. It's gonna

27:08

rip you apart, man. Every single day

27:10

washing. It seems more hygienic to me

27:12

with something that is- You're removing the

27:14

outer epidermis layer. Epidermis layer, like, yeah,

27:16

your deep cleanness of the face hole. Like

27:19

you're removing your hair again. Yeah, like the

27:21

lupa situation over here where you're scrubbing and

27:23

you're ripping off skin. But

27:25

I just kind of want to read some of these, I kind of want

27:27

to read some of these quotes that some

27:29

of the wives have brought to the attention.

27:31

Men peeing in shower, men

27:34

pooping in the shower. No. Get-

27:36

No. Yeah. Yeah. Real

27:39

thing, wives are upset. As they should be.

27:42

You know what the greatest innovation has been

27:44

one of in our time? That

27:47

like- To Brio. No,

27:49

this is probably the last, I don't know, eight years. I

27:51

don't know when it came on the market, but I

27:53

just know when it was- The wipes. The game

27:55

changers. No, it was when it

27:57

was shampoo, conditioner, by-

28:00

Body wash, moisturizer, olive oil. All in

28:02

one. Yeah, it's like... It was like,

28:04

I'm no longer having to buy all

28:06

these different bottles

28:08

from the drug store. Please

28:11

don't tell me you actually use that stuff. It is. All

28:14

in one. The eight in one, it's toothpaste.

28:16

It's everything you need. Shave with it. Shave

28:18

with it. You know, you can wash dishes.

28:20

It's like Army. Like the Army invented it.

28:22

It's like a prototype. It's like just wash

28:24

everything. It literally says, you can take stains

28:26

off the driveway if you need to. Like

28:29

this is... No,

28:31

for real. The four in one,

28:33

like deals... No, you don't. I...

28:36

Maybe it's our hair is different or my hair

28:38

is longer. I don't know. I can't. That stuff...

28:42

It gives me like an evangelist, like pompadour situation

28:44

with my hair. I can't use that stuff. There's

28:46

too much build up. I don't like it. I

28:48

use it. Yeah. And you know what? I mean,

28:50

it's funny how this article started. I can tell

28:53

you used it this morning. Look at your hair.

28:55

I was wearing a hat all day. So... You

28:58

had the scrub daddy face on your forehead

29:00

right now. Just kidding. In

29:04

a rec center shower this morning. Just

29:06

bare bones, man. That's all you need

29:08

in life, you know? Raw, raw. Just

29:10

skin is ripped off. Just... Just the

29:12

funny part about this article to me

29:15

is like it started out as, men,

29:17

do you, you know, clean? And it started

29:19

with the wives and girlfriends just started jumping

29:22

into this conversation and be like, my boyfriend

29:24

does. And the complaints have just stacked up

29:26

over time. And so, you know, I just,

29:28

I don't know about our listeners, but I

29:30

hope that we all know how to wash

29:32

ourselves. One thing I will say is that,

29:35

for the most part, when you live on a bus, like I've

29:38

lived on a bus for the last 10 years touring and stuff

29:40

like that. Not because you're homeless, because

29:42

you were going from one place to another. Yeah.

29:44

Yeah. Just because I like riding buses. I

29:48

like the Greyhound. But I like the

29:50

really cool crowd out in front of the

29:52

station. But touring with these

29:54

buses, you know, you're not allowed to use

29:56

the actual... Most touring, you're not allowed to

29:58

use the actual shower that's... in the bus. So

30:00

you go to a hotel and something like

30:02

that and take a shower. But that time, I

30:04

feel like in the shower is like your valuable

30:06

alone time. I feel like even now as a

30:09

dad, like that's the only time

30:11

I could really just be by myself. I'm

30:13

like, sometimes I just sit in there and

30:15

I cry. It's like, I like being in

30:17

the shower. I couldn't imagine fully washing ourselves.

30:19

But you know, each his own, but I

30:21

would say men start start getting in there

30:24

start doing some deep dives. I often cry

30:26

in there too, but mainly it's because the

30:28

kind of soap that I use is

30:30

extremely harmful

30:34

to the eyes. Even one drop gets

30:36

close and they're burning all morning. So,

30:38

you know, bleach. It's

30:41

paint thinner. Yeah.

30:43

You feel clean. This

30:45

is army grade. You've never been cleaner. Okay,

30:50

I'm bringing a slice today. I'm gonna shift

30:52

a little bit more towards media litters and

30:54

mercy. So, and I've been in some group

30:56

chats recently where some very smart people have

30:58

kind of revealed that they don't read the

31:00

articles. Like, you know, we'll share, we'll share

31:02

links back and forth. Hey, check this out

31:04

or whatever. And they had this big hot

31:06

take and reaction based on reading the headline,

31:08

but they send the link and I'll read

31:10

the thing. And then I'll notice that they're

31:12

saying or they're upset about something that's actually

31:14

not the case at all. You know what I'm saying?

31:16

Like the headline was written to get a reaction. Huh?

31:19

How old were the people that he referring

31:21

to? 30?

31:23

I mean, like, that's

31:26

what I'm saying. Like, this is the thing is like, my

31:28

own friends are like, I'm like, I

31:31

feel like I'm the one person in the wilderness

31:33

screaming, read the article before you have an opinion

31:35

that you share. Anyway. Okay,

31:38

so something happened this morning. This is

31:40

a Tuesday show. We're recording it on

31:42

Friday, May 17th. It is the second

31:44

round of the PGA championship. I don't

31:46

follow golf at all. But this was

31:48

all over my feeds this morning, all

31:50

over social media. Apparently

31:52

the number one golfer in the world, Scotty

31:55

Shepler, was going for his

31:58

second round, you know, tee time. at

32:00

the PGA Championship in Kentucky. And

32:03

he was going early this morning and

32:06

there was a tragic accident where one

32:08

of the trams when the buses for

32:10

the spectators hit one of the workers

32:12

and tragically killed them. So the road

32:14

going into the golf course, the Valhalla

32:17

golf course was all backed up, there's

32:19

police everywhere and all this stuff. But

32:21

it's got these shufflers in there going, it was

32:24

pre-dawn like, hey, I have a 10 o'clock tee

32:26

time, you know, this is my job, I gotta

32:28

get into the, I

32:30

gotta get into the country club. And so the

32:33

story is that he went around

32:35

the, onto

32:37

the median and he

32:39

was fighting with cops and cops

32:41

stopped him, whatever. And he ends

32:43

up getting arrested, charged with a

32:45

felony, and several other counts for

32:47

like a second degree assault on

32:49

a police officer, other lesser charges,

32:51

third degree criminal mischief, reckless driving,

32:53

disregarding signals from officers, all this

32:55

stuff. Gets booked in

32:57

jail, gets released, makes it for

32:59

his tee time. Okay, so that's a

33:02

happy ending the story. So all social media

33:04

was talking about was like, oh

33:06

my God, Scotty Scheffler,

33:08

felony, assaulting officers, everybody's

33:11

waiting their turn and he's all entitled and like

33:13

going around on the median and all this stuff.

33:15

And I was like, the hubris,

33:18

what a conceited person to

33:21

think he's above everybody else and he's gonna cut

33:23

corners, good for him getting arrested. You know, that's

33:26

kind of what I was thinking based on the

33:28

social media discourse. And then I

33:30

read the article and none of

33:32

that actually is true. No, none of it, yeah,

33:34

it was, it seemed like. I

33:36

just saw the video and people were like

33:39

cops are. It seemed like a clear misunderstanding.

33:41

He was being directed by the officers to

33:43

go here because he did roll down his

33:45

window, talked to an officer, hey, here's who

33:48

I am, here's where I need to go.

33:50

He said, okay, go over here. So he

33:52

was following the directions of the officer and

33:55

then encountered another officer who wasn't

33:57

part of that discussion who quote unquote.

34:00

attached himself to his vehicle and

34:02

Scotty kept going and then ended up stopping at the

34:04

gates and the guy pulls him out of his car

34:07

arrest him. We immediately... And evidently Scotty Scheffler didn't even

34:09

know that the person that attached himself to his vehicle

34:11

was a police officer. Yeah, he just jumped on the

34:13

back of the truck. Exactly right. That's

34:15

what I was saying. So this is a...

34:18

it was a funny story that I had

34:20

a lot of thoughts about and then when

34:22

you're presented with actual facts, I

34:24

feel really bad for the guy. And

34:26

then barely is this a big misunderstanding and he isn't

34:28

the big jerk that social media was making him out

34:30

to be. And this is

34:33

the world we live in. Think about

34:35

like that. I mean, it's a dumb story, but

34:37

it's like I chose

34:40

to dive in and actually read an

34:42

incredible news source about what actually happened

34:44

and found out that everything everybody was

34:46

saying was completely... Now amplify that to

34:48

global conflicts. Right. You know what

34:50

I'm saying? Right. And then

34:52

add that to a country invading another,

34:55

but people only... or they read a

34:57

headline that's purposely misleading to... You

35:00

know what I mean? That happens that that's... You

35:03

know, that's a funny example, but

35:05

I'm saying like just scale that up and

35:08

then add a

35:10

dose of benevolence. You know what I

35:12

mean? Where someone intentionally wants people to

35:15

be misled and will

35:17

withhold key pieces of information

35:19

to make it seem like

35:21

if a story says something that is

35:25

a radical departure from reality, you know? I'm

35:28

also... This is kind of like

35:30

goes along with another little thing that we

35:32

saw today that USA Today announced

35:35

that they're going to be adding

35:38

AI generated, bulleted key points or

35:40

summaries of their articles

35:42

at the top of their articles. Now certain

35:44

sites like Axios have already been doing this.

35:47

Not AI generated, but summary type stuff

35:49

complicated long form stories just

35:52

to get the bullet points, the key points. And

35:54

when I saw this, I thought, oh man, this

35:56

is the further dumbing down of America. Yeah. USA

35:59

Today back in the 80s and... the 1990s was derided

36:01

in the journalism industry because it was

36:03

like they called it like a Mick

36:06

paper, Mick newspaper, because it was like

36:08

they took thoughtful journalism and distilled

36:11

it down to five paragraphs. Like it was

36:13

the dumbing down of thoughtful reporting.

36:15

So it kind of makes sense that USA

36:17

Today would be the one to kind of

36:19

push this evolution of kind

36:22

of like nugget bullet point reporting, because

36:24

now you won't need to even read the full

36:26

USA Today article, you can just read the little

36:29

bullet points at the top and move on, have

36:31

the general information but nothing nuanced. And I thought,

36:33

oh, the dumbing down America anymore. But maybe actually,

36:35

this is a good thing. Because all people are

36:38

reading now is the clickbaity

36:40

headline. Yeah, you're leaving headlines and they

36:42

don't read anything else. So at least

36:44

maybe USA Today is going

36:46

to be saying, read the headline plus these

36:48

four other sentences. And at least you'll have

36:50

more information than you would have otherwise. So

36:53

maybe it's actually a good thing with their

36:55

door. Or you can do this and just

36:57

read the long form vetted journalism that will

36:59

so instead of spending, you know, 30 seconds,

37:01

spend three minutes and you know, for the

37:04

average media consumer, or here's

37:06

another radical idea for those consumers,

37:09

read the story but from two

37:11

different credible sources and infer

37:14

their biases by omission and

37:17

filter as needed. You know what

37:19

I mean? Like, there's no shortage

37:22

of sources or information. And you

37:24

know, like I said, read two

37:26

credible. I'm I'm

37:29

sounding preachy here. But like this

37:31

is a good point you're

37:35

making because this week, this past week, obviously, Trump

37:37

has been on trial. And

37:39

if you got your reporting from New York

37:41

Times or CNN, you

37:44

or even Drudge report, you

37:46

would you would have a very certain perspective

37:48

on how it's going. Yeah. So

37:50

I intentionally, I don't watch these shows

37:52

or these networks, but I intentionally on

37:54

something like this that's so partisan. I'll

37:57

go check Fox News. I'll go check

37:59

Newsmax as well. And what

38:01

was interesting is on one day this week,

38:03

I happened to, you know, it sounded like this

38:05

crazy thing happened if you looked at Drudge and CNN.

38:09

And then I go over to Fox News

38:11

and the sole headline that

38:13

they had about that day's trial

38:16

was about Michael

38:18

Cohen's dirty mics, dirty mic and

38:20

how he was corrupt for recording

38:23

Trump. The other headline was

38:25

a conversation with Trump. The

38:27

other headline over on whatever was this

38:30

damning evidence of this recorded

38:32

conversation is gonna like

38:34

put this guy in jail. And so

38:36

it's like, here's the information that, you know, is being

38:38

shared on the trial. And then you go to Fox

38:40

News and it's like, well, he was shady for recording

38:43

in the first place with no mention of the content

38:45

of the conversation. And then I went over to Newsmax.

38:47

The trial wasn't even above the fold. They

38:50

had something on Gaza. That's it.

38:52

And they didn't even mention it until way

38:54

down. And then it was like something about

38:57

Don Jr. or something. Like they're totally ignoring

38:59

it. They were at your point. Yeah, they

39:01

were leading with a MyPillow story. Bias by

39:03

omission. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

39:06

But it's just interesting. It is really important

39:08

in this era of very divided information, very

39:10

biased information in how things

39:13

are reported that you actually think

39:15

and educate yourself. Like if this

39:17

headline looks crazy to you, read

39:19

what actually is going on. And then like Jesse

39:21

said, maybe check another source that maybe has a

39:23

different perspective on this thing. But one on

39:26

one is if it seems

39:28

sensational, it probably sensationalized.

39:31

Like especially in the internet

39:34

era where if they got

39:36

you to click, they did their job. You know what I mean?

39:39

You know, the one side I would

39:41

say to everybody to check every day

39:43

because it has zero bias and only

39:45

a great amazing reporting. It's relevantmagazine.com. All

39:47

right. That'll do it for slices. Stay

39:49

tuned. Up next, Ashley Island joins us.

39:56

Bye. You're

40:20

listening to Christian Korea and Cautious

40:23

Clay, the song is Undecided. Well,

40:26

Today's show is brought to you

40:28

in part by Crown College, a

40:30

boldly Christian and academically excellent college

40:32

providing a lifelong authentic community. Crown

40:35

offers on campus, online and

40:37

graduate programs, 18 NCAA Division

40:39

III sports, international service opportunities

40:41

and a vibrant student life.

40:44

Discover why Crown College is ranked top

40:47

three in America for online Christian education.

40:49

Visit crown.edu today. When

40:53

you need mealtime inspiration. World

40:56

Vision is a Christian humanitarian organization

40:58

that works with children, families, and

41:00

communities to reach their God given

41:02

potential, focusing on things

41:04

like gender equality, spiritual nurture and

41:06

access to clean water, education, job

41:08

training, and healthcare. So the

41:11

entire picture of poverty can be addressed. Let's

41:13

subscribe to something new together. Subscribe

41:16

to World Change today at worldvision.org.

41:19

Again, that's worldvision.org.

41:23

Well, our guest today is Ashley Island. She

41:26

used to serve as the co-lead pastor at Marshall

41:28

Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan, but now she's

41:31

a full-time speaker and author. Her latest book is

41:33

called Say Good. It just came out just

41:36

in time for election season getting started.

41:39

There's a debate here in a couple of weeks. Ashley

41:42

talks about engaging in hot topics, intense

41:44

conversations in a God honoring way. So

41:46

we wanted to talk to her to

41:49

figure out how Christians can navigate

41:51

this upcoming season with peace and

41:54

self-control, you know, things that we should aspire to. Here's

41:56

our conversation with Ashley Island.

42:07

Well, your new book, Stay Good, is

42:09

all about engaging in hot topics and

42:11

tense conversations from a healthy Christian perspective.

42:14

What made you want to write this book right now? It's

42:16

funny because when you start writing a book, you're

42:18

almost a year and a half, two years out

42:21

from when people will hold it in their hand.

42:24

But I think I anticipated

42:26

the upcoming presidential election, particularly when

42:28

we were looking at release dates.

42:32

This is sure, it already is a contentious

42:34

one when you look

42:36

at how things are shaking out. But

42:39

at the time, I wrote it in

42:41

response to Ahmaud Arbery's death in

42:43

2020. And

42:45

I had friends who were really stuck,

42:47

a little paralyzed, in

42:50

considering how they might respond to

42:53

such a tragedy. They were

42:55

people, mostly white women, who

42:57

were reaching out to me in the context

43:00

of relationship asking, hey, how

43:02

do I say this? I want to say something. I also

43:04

know we're centering black voices, particularly

43:06

at that time of 2020. That

43:11

was really online, quite

43:13

a sweeping movement of centering black

43:16

voices. And so they

43:18

were struggling and saying, how do I center

43:21

voices that are different from mine? While

43:23

also genuinely

43:26

showing up as one

43:28

who cares about racial justice. And

43:31

so really, the book is a

43:33

result and the outcome of me wrestling

43:35

with them on how do you actually

43:37

know what to say in response to

43:39

some flammable headlines? How do you know

43:42

what to say when you're in

43:44

a relationship with someone in your family who

43:46

thinks differently from you or votes differently from

43:48

you? So it really became

43:50

this exercise in discernment and

43:53

collective discernment around how

43:55

to know what to say and

43:57

when, especially when hot topics are involved. as

44:00

we considered the release timing. I said, well, this

44:02

is a perfect

44:04

offering, although non-exhaustive. We don't

44:06

cover everything, but hopefully

44:09

it serves as a good on-ramp for a practical

44:11

tool for helping people figure out how

44:14

they show up in the world with their voices

44:16

and in response to such

44:19

important topics of our day. In

44:23

your book, you write about not only how to

44:25

speak out, but when we should speak out. And

44:27

I think that's an important question. A

44:29

lot of people don't ask themselves. So

44:31

how do we discern when we should speak out about something?

44:34

Yeah, so the first

44:36

two filters, and I kind of

44:38

get to these two things

44:40

indirectly in the book, but

44:43

even as I've considered what I wrote and how

44:45

it's developing in my own heart and mind, the

44:49

first question that I would ask is,

44:51

like, what's my motivation? Why

44:53

do I want to say something? Is

44:56

it so that I can show up

44:58

and others can view me as

45:01

an ally in relationship to a

45:03

given cause? Is

45:05

it really centered around others'

45:07

perspective of who I am as a person in

45:10

alignment with my values? So

45:12

that could be one motivation. I want other people to see

45:14

me a certain way. And

45:16

oftentimes it's kind of dangerous because

45:19

then we enter a performative space

45:21

where, and

45:23

this is classic virtue signaling, where we want other

45:25

people to think that we care deeply

45:28

and align our lives around a certain topic, even

45:30

if it's not something that we hold fast to

45:33

in our private lives. So

45:36

you can ask that question of why

45:38

and come to a place of saying, no, I

45:40

really feel like my experience and where

45:43

my life has taken me can lend

45:45

some collective good to how we

45:49

walk this out together. To

45:51

me, those are my favorite considerations

45:54

when it comes to should I say

45:56

something, because perhaps you're sitting on or

45:58

have... some sort

46:00

of life experience that we

46:02

need to bear witness to together

46:04

and that could be helpful for

46:06

collective humanity and an

46:09

approach to a hard topic. So

46:11

motivation would be the first question

46:13

to ask, why am I wanting to say

46:15

something? The second

46:18

consideration would be around one's

46:21

own pain and

46:23

relationship to emotion in response

46:25

to a given topic. So

46:27

there are some headlines, but if we were

46:30

to pluck one from any news source

46:32

right now that are

46:34

going to hit certain people differently

46:37

based on their own journey with

46:39

pain, trauma, mental

46:41

health, even as we're

46:43

in this the time of this recording,

46:46

it's May, Mental Health Awareness Month. I'd

46:49

say anything that's unprocessed pain and

46:51

I'm not a therapist. So I

46:54

have plenty of friends who are therapists.

46:56

I have two therapists myself that I've

46:58

experienced with therapy, but I'm not a

47:01

licensed therapist. But what I would say

47:03

is in my public speaking endeavors, one

47:05

question I ask myself is, is

47:08

this coming from a place of unprocessed or

47:10

processed pain? Usually

47:13

for me, if there's more processing to

47:15

do, even though

47:17

it might be tempting to speak quickly

47:19

or react quickly in

47:22

accordance with the news cycle or

47:24

so that my voice seems relevant in the moment, those

47:27

are times where I need to discipline myself and say

47:29

not yet. It's

47:32

not yet time and

47:34

it's not that it will never be time, but

47:37

perhaps not yet. So

47:40

that'd be a second filter in

47:43

addition to motivation is where my needing

47:46

this headline in terms of

47:48

my own emotion and my story

47:50

was pain and trauma. And I'd

47:53

say a third one to consider would

47:55

be my own relational capacity

47:58

to kind of bring. a

48:01

topic and embed it

48:03

and center it into real flesh and

48:05

blood relationship. I'd

48:07

say if something that someone's

48:10

passionate about and wants to speak out against

48:12

or for cannot be

48:14

relocated into real life relationship,

48:18

then perhaps that's an opportunity to learn more

48:20

or to nourish real

48:23

relationships in that way before

48:25

speaking publicly. One

48:27

example I give is like

48:29

I have deep feelings

48:31

and a lot of experience in

48:34

the fostering and adoptive spaces that

48:36

has also informed how

48:38

I feel about abortion. I'm

48:41

embedding something like fostering

48:44

and adoption into

48:46

the real relationships that involve my

48:48

family and even some friends

48:51

that I've made kind of in those

48:53

circles that I think help give

48:56

texture and depth

48:59

to how I approach that topic. It's not just

49:01

coming from a knee-jerk reaction or opinion

49:04

that's formulated quickly,

49:06

but it's been

49:08

able to live in the context of real

49:11

relationships. So to me that enriches someone's

49:14

opinion when it comes from that place. So those

49:16

are just three kind of questions someone

49:19

can ask and considering like,

49:21

do I say something? Do I remain silent

49:23

and listen and learn and take that kind of

49:25

posture? They're infinite myriad

49:28

more questions that should

49:30

be asked, but those are three that I've had to be really helpful.

49:35

From my experience and I'm sure in

49:37

your own, there are times where conversations

49:39

just aren't productive and one or both

49:41

sides are simply too passionate about their

49:43

stance and it creates too much tension.

49:47

How do we decide when to keep having a

49:49

tough conversation and when it's time to walk away?

49:53

Yeah, that's such a good point. Another ingredient

49:56

to that recipe would be the boundary

49:58

setting. And

50:01

so, one, you're the

50:03

only person kind of in that, in

50:06

that setting that knows what you

50:08

can tolerate. I mean, a lot of good therapists talk

50:10

about this window of tolerance and

50:12

to operate within it, we've got to be

50:14

really well-resourced and

50:17

paying attention to how we're showing up and

50:19

how we're being impacted. That's so important. I'd

50:22

say if you and another

50:24

person or a group of people can

50:26

agree on a common end or

50:29

an end goal and

50:31

kind of have like, again,

50:34

what Collostrum Forum calls covenantal communication

50:38

and saying, here's how we're going to show up.

50:41

This is what we are committing to together even before

50:43

we enter this conversation. And

50:47

to clearly communicate, this is how I

50:49

am willing to have this conversation with

50:51

you. This is what needs to

50:53

be true in order for me to stay

50:56

here, stay present with you, to have

51:00

the other person and you agree to that.

51:03

And then to have stated consequences.

51:07

Should you call me out of my name? Could

51:11

you say something that offends

51:14

my character and comes after like my inherent

51:16

dignity and worth as a human being? The

51:18

conversation is over, right? And

51:21

this is all very based on kind of

51:24

how you're coming in and what the relationship

51:26

is like coming in. Perhaps it is, yep,

51:29

even if there's a violation, we still

51:32

have a couple tries in us

51:34

to keep showing up at the table. Again,

51:36

it's all dependent on kind of where you are

51:38

and where this relationship is. But

51:41

there are absolutely times when it is

51:43

necessary to say, it

51:45

seems like we cannot have this conversation

51:47

in a way that

51:50

is mutually beneficial and

51:53

loving for both

51:55

of us. And

51:57

in that regard, until you are ready,

51:59

right? until you are ready to show up

52:01

and agree to those boundaries or

52:04

those non-negotiables that

52:07

we've set, then

52:10

we're going to have to be in relationship a different way. Or we're

52:13

going to have to, in

52:15

some cases, not be in relationship at all, right?

52:17

If it's harmful, I would

52:19

never advocate for someone to persist through situations

52:23

where there's harm being done. But

52:27

this is where high emotional

52:29

intelligence and doing your own work

52:32

and having other people to come alongside you

52:35

and say, like, this is a season where

52:37

perhaps you can handle more in the way

52:39

of a contentious conversation than you once did.

52:42

Or maybe it's not a season, it's a season where

52:44

one of my therapists used to say, like, you

52:46

need to find soft spaces. And

52:49

if that conversation doesn't feel soft, then

52:52

maybe it's not the time. But

52:55

I'd say really good boundary setting, covenantal

52:57

communication, agreeing upon how you're going

52:59

to have the conversation and the

53:01

desired end really helps make those

53:03

boundaries a lot more clear. That

53:20

was Ashley Island. Make sure to check out her new

53:22

book, Say Good. It's available now. All right,

53:25

stay tuned. Up next is

53:27

Ask the Cast, college graduate edition.

53:49

I hear just a crush. I'm on a

53:51

hill of the jumps and that ain't enough

53:54

discussion. This what I was bored for. big

54:00

deal the song is Left the Light On. You

54:03

can hear that song on the relevant hip-hop playlist

54:05

on Spotify by the way. Let's go check that

54:07

out. We got a hip-hop playlist, we got a

54:10

herd on the relevant podcast playlist, we got a

54:12

worship playlist and ND playlist that we update regularly.

54:14

Hey, if you like this podcast but

54:17

you might like it better if there were no ads,

54:19

you can do that. Head over to

54:21

relevantmagazine.com and sign up for relevant plus. For

54:24

just a couple bucks a month, you get

54:26

this podcast ad-free, you get ad-free

54:29

unlimited reading at relevantmagazine.com including the

54:31

full podcast and magazine archive. Our

54:34

beautifully designed digital issue and a little more. Check

54:37

out all the info right there on the

54:39

relevant plus tab at relevantmagazine.com. Okay, a lot

54:41

of recent grads are out there wandering aimlessly

54:43

having no clue what to do. They don't

54:46

even know how to shower properly. You know

54:48

I'm saying like they need help. So

54:50

we did an Ask the Cast, we asked

54:52

you guys for your questions. We specifically said

54:55

if you've recently graduated, what are the questions

54:57

you want the cast to help you with?

54:59

So here we go. You hit us up

55:01

on X Ad-Rel and podcast. Here's some of

55:03

the questions for Ask the Cast. Recent grad

55:05

edition. How

55:14

do you handle working with somebody who constantly

55:17

gets on your nerves? That is from

55:19

Bradley Peep. Apparently they don't have a

55:21

lot of office experience. You

55:25

frame them for some

55:27

sort of violation of company policy. Like eating

55:29

your sandwich. And you get them back out

55:31

on the streets. Or you do like the

55:39

Dolce & Halper thing and just start applying to

55:42

other jobs on their behalf and hopefully they get

55:44

a good one. That's genius. Really

55:46

genius actually. Aaron said what's

55:48

the best way to explain to my parents that

55:50

my philosophy degree was totally worth it. I mean

55:55

you know I would find one

55:58

of these places of work where they had annoying people

56:00

work there and apply for one of those annoying person's

56:02

jobs and get a decent job. That

56:05

doesn't, you know, because I

56:07

don't know if the philosophy degree, I

56:09

don't know what job that qualifies you

56:11

for. Yeah, I don't know. Academia maybe,

56:13

but counseling at some point, you have

56:15

to go get more degrees. Or just

56:17

blow their mind with incredible insights about

56:19

the human condition that will do it.

56:23

God said, how do I professionally nap during work

56:25

hours? Oh, that's super easy.

56:27

There's a website, there's actually a website

56:30

that you can get a loading screen like

56:32

this. It looks like it appears constantly updating.

56:34

And what you do is you go to the bathroom and

56:37

you just, you just, you

56:39

just nap it out. Like I

56:41

did at church, yeah, when you go to church and you're

56:44

at second service because your parents have to serve both and

56:46

you just go to the bathroom, you just nap it out,

56:48

you lean on the wall. But I'm also a

56:50

big fan of those toilets that go all the way down to

56:52

the ground. And so, and

56:54

I feel a lot easier in that situation, like at the airport.

56:57

Yeah, I would get, I would get really

56:59

sick. I would get those like, those sunglasses.

57:01

I would first get a very bright lamp

57:03

in your office and then get

57:05

those glasses where they automatically get darker

57:07

when you're in a bright atmosphere. It's

57:09

a great idea. So people can't really

57:11

see actually, you know, transition lenses. Yeah,

57:13

it's a great idea. Yeah. All right.

57:16

What's her name? Shauna said, I get

57:18

really nervous before interviews. Any tips on

57:20

how I can calm myself down? Like

57:22

a job interview. Nice

57:25

drink of Hennessy. Just don't

57:27

do that. Don't do that. Don't be

57:29

that person. You

57:32

know, it's funny because when I worked at Nordstrom,

57:34

I was, I was the hiring manager. So usually

57:36

the people who were the most confident and the

57:38

most relaxed always

57:40

won. Always

57:43

won the job fight, you know, between all the different

57:45

people. So I would say whatever it makes you feel

57:47

comfortable. I mean, what would make you feel comfortable? What

57:49

would make you feel confident? Being

57:51

prepared. Darren actually

57:53

had another question about that. Can

57:56

I tag real quick on that? I'm

57:58

actually my candidate. I'm not looking for the lead. laid

58:00

back person because that means

58:02

that I don't want too confident. I

58:04

want them to feel like they got stuff to learn. I

58:06

don't want them too calm. Go in there

58:08

like a stress ball. Lean into the anxiety. I

58:11

want someone who's obviously going

58:13

to take this seriously. Give me

58:15

the anxious person. Darren

58:18

says, how do I sound like I know what I'm

58:20

talking about in meetings when I actually may have no

58:22

idea? Blind confidence, bro. That's what it is. I would

58:24

say. I would qualify everything

58:27

no matter what you say by this. Oh,

58:29

yeah. If you ever thought of this and

58:32

then say. Speak louder than the interviewer. That's

58:34

how you do it. Well, this

58:38

is a real question. How do you manage

58:40

work-life balance, especially in demanding roles? Real

58:44

talk. So this is a concept that I've

58:47

heard people talk about called a digital

58:49

twilight. That means a time

58:51

in the evening where any

58:54

digital connectedness goes to sleep no matter

58:56

what. And you

58:58

institute that concept of a digital

59:00

twilight. So every night at this

59:02

portion, phone goes off or email

59:05

goes off or laptop shuts down

59:07

and just gets steadfast with it. And then you got

59:09

a little barrier. Your digital twilight. There you go. I

59:13

think too, though, like especially this is somebody

59:15

just starting on their career. There's seasons of

59:17

life and there's seasons of selling, seasons of

59:19

reaping. And maybe you don't need to

59:21

worry about work-life balance the first two years in your

59:23

20s. You know, like maybe you

59:25

need to like dive in and chase your dreams because

59:27

you won't be able to when you have a mortgage

59:30

and three kids later. I

59:32

don't know. I was gonna say the same

59:34

thing. It's like there's seasons where you work really

59:36

hard and there's seasons where that hard work is

59:38

literally paving the way for what you're doing right

59:40

now. And then you could just kind of coast

59:42

and it's a little bit different. The work ethic

59:44

changes. So it's really up to you. It also

59:46

depends on what kind of job do you want,

59:49

you know, like what kind of job like my

59:51

brother-in-law, he works for the government and he audits

59:53

banks. He works for them and audits banks. And

59:55

when he first started, he would have to travel

59:57

and go all these different banks. And then he's

59:59

kind of overseas. seeing things, he's sitting in an

1:00:01

office, he sometimes works at home. You know, he

1:00:03

doesn't, it's not as aggressive as when he started

1:00:05

because he put the work in. So there are

1:00:07

going to be years where you just have to

1:00:09

put the work in and go hard. And there's

1:00:11

some years where you don't have to because you've

1:00:13

very paved the foundation for what you already do.

1:00:16

Yeah. All right. Last question. Everybody tells me

1:00:18

college is the best years of my life.

1:00:21

Now that it's over. Is that true? Yeah, it's

1:00:23

all downhill or uphill. I think it's uphill. I

1:00:25

think it's uphill because that's the struggle. The college

1:00:27

was, it was never going to get better. No.

1:00:30

No, dude, there's always. What?

1:00:33

You said downhill and uphill. Well, I can't remember

1:00:36

which one's the good one. Depends

1:00:38

on which one you're going. When you say it's all

1:00:40

downhill from here, that sounds like it's bad, but it's

1:00:42

actually going downhill is easy. Just putting neutral, you know,

1:00:44

running uphills. Oh, interesting. You're

1:00:46

saying, yeah, now it's hard. Now it's uphill.

1:00:48

Now it's easy. I don't know.

1:00:50

College was good, but I feel like having adult money

1:00:53

and having like purpose of what you want to do.

1:00:55

I just feel like it's hard for a college. You're

1:00:57

24 and you're like, all right, what do you want

1:00:59

to do for the rest of your life? That is

1:01:02

exhausting type of pressure. So

1:01:04

I think that you'll find it over time, but I feel

1:01:06

like my thirties is when I thrived. I love being,

1:01:08

I wish I can stay my thirties forever. 35 forever. Just

1:01:12

a college experience where we were both

1:01:14

going to a residential university where we

1:01:17

lived on campus and friends

1:01:19

on campus and stuff like that. And so it became

1:01:21

like, if you want to go down to the gym,

1:01:23

you just yell down the hall. Anybody want to go

1:01:25

to the AC and play ball? Yeah. And you always

1:01:27

have two, three guys going with you. Hey, I'm going

1:01:29

to Walmart for some donuts. Anybody want to roll? Yeah.

1:01:31

I'll go, you know, like you, the social aspect of

1:01:33

college, if you went to a private university

1:01:35

usually, or, or I guess frats

1:01:38

and different things to it, may school, stay school,

1:01:40

you're never going to get that back. That'll never

1:01:42

happen again. That, that you'll miss,

1:01:44

I think. But anyway,

1:01:47

all right. Well, that'll do it for Ask the Cast

1:01:49

recent grad edition. Thanks for sending your

1:01:51

questions. If that's the cast

1:01:53

recent grad edition. I

1:02:00

thank Ashley Island for joining us today. Make

1:02:02

sure to check out her new book, Say Good, wherever

1:02:04

you get your books. And

1:02:07

like I mentioned, go check out the relevant playlist over

1:02:09

on Spotify. We've got several of them. We

1:02:11

update them every week, especially the Heard on the Relevant

1:02:13

Podcast playlist, where we put all the music you hear

1:02:16

in the breaks here. You

1:02:18

don't wanna miss that. Also, make sure to

1:02:20

check out relevantmagazine.com. Every weekday, we are covering

1:02:22

the intersection of faith culture and everything in

1:02:24

between. Sign up for our newsletter to

1:02:26

not miss a thing and make sure to follow us on all

1:02:28

the socials. On that note, we'll wrap things

1:02:30

up. I'm Cameron Strang. I'm Jesse Carey. I'm

1:02:33

Marty. We will see you on Friday. Have

1:02:35

a great week, everyone. Thanks

1:02:40

for listening

1:02:50

to the Relevant Podcast. Check

1:02:53

out our features, interviews, and news

1:02:55

updates every day at relevantmagazine.com. And

1:02:58

make sure to follow relevant on Facebook, Twitter,

1:03:01

and Instagram for the latest. For

1:03:03

more great podcasts, browse the shows on the

1:03:05

Relevant Podcast Network, which you can find at

1:03:07

our site. And while you're there, don't

1:03:10

miss the all-new era of Relevant Magazine.

1:03:13

A new issue releases every other

1:03:15

month at relevantmagazine.com. I

1:03:23

often cry in there too, but mainly it's

1:03:25

because the kind of soap that I use

1:03:27

is extremely harmful to

1:03:30

the eyes. Relevant

1:03:32

Podcast Network.