0:00

Today's episode is supported by Desert

0:02

Skies, a quirky, comedic and heartfelt

0:05

sci-fi podcast about life between this

0:07

world and the next. Desert

0:10

Skies is set on a lonely highway

0:12

at a gas station in the afterlife

0:14

called Desert Skies Astral Plane Fuel and

0:16

Service Station. Here the staff

0:19

help new arrivals in the afterlife get ready

0:21

to embark on their journey through the celestial

0:23

spheres. What begins as a slice of life

0:25

story following new arrivals at the station quickly

0:28

grows into an epic tale where the stakes

0:30

are life, or in this case afterlife and

0:32

death. I've been listening to Desert Skies for

0:34

a while now and honestly I think this

0:36

is just an awesome show. There are some

0:39

fascinating themes going on about mortality and love

0:41

and loss and it's delivered in a very

0:43

sweet and sentimental way that also has no

0:45

shortage of laughs. The characters are memorable and

0:47

start to feel like friends in no time.

0:49

I found myself getting invested in their stories

0:52

right away and couldn't wait to hear what

0:54

happened next. Fans of Future Armor, Adventure

0:56

Time and Rick and Morty will love this show

0:58

and the good news is that you can binge

1:00

the entire first season right now. Even better

1:02

the second season is just kicking off as

1:04

well so this is a great time to

1:06

jump into the story. You can find and

1:08

listen to Desert Skies anywhere you listen to

1:10

podcasts or by clicking the link in the

1:12

episode notes below. Stay tuned right now to

1:14

hear the first episode. Our thanks to Desert

1:16

Skies for their support. For

1:19

the best listening experience headphones

1:21

are recommended. Thanks

1:56

for watching.

2:11

Hello there. If

2:14

you don't mind waiting just a moment

2:17

while we get ready, we're

2:20

actually trying something new. We're

2:24

formalizing our process. So

2:27

this is an exciting time to be

2:29

here. I've actually written something

2:31

up, so I think I'm pretty

2:33

proud of it. It's cool. Please

2:36

hold all of your questions

2:38

until the presentation is complete.

2:41

Everything will be answered in time. Okay,

2:45

I think I'm ready. You

2:47

may approach the counter. Welcome

2:57

to Desert Skies. Traveler, your

3:00

journey through the physical plane has

3:03

come to an end. But

3:06

we are so glad you're

3:09

here. And I

3:11

know what you're thinking. Where is

3:13

here exactly? I'll

3:16

do my best to explain. Desert

3:19

Skies Astral Plane fuel and

3:21

service station exist on the

3:24

lowest sphere of existence between

3:26

life and death. Or

3:29

as we like to say around

3:31

here, between life and the next

3:33

life. You

3:36

have no more reason to

3:38

be afraid. No

3:40

more reason to fret, nor worry.

3:43

Whatever your needs, we are here

3:45

to help. My

3:48

colleague here is the mechanic, or

3:50

Mac for short. It

3:54

is his job to service your vehicle in

3:57

preparation for the journey across

3:59

the- celestial spheres. I

4:03

am the attendant. Or Tindy, for sure. I

4:05

told you not to call me that in

4:07

front of the Traveler's will. I think it

4:10

puts them at E. I'm trying to create

4:12

an error of mystique. Yeah,

4:14

well that's stupid. Yeah, well nobody

4:16

asked you. Um, what, what, what's

4:19

going on? Like, like

4:21

I said, I am the attendant. It

4:23

is my job to ensure you

4:26

have adequate provisions and are well

4:28

instructed in navigating the journey through

4:30

the celestial spheres. Now,

4:35

let me tell you about a selection of

4:37

products available and

4:39

any associated promotions. Wait

4:43

a second here. We

4:51

have all of your road trip favorites.

4:54

Chips, sodas, sunflower seeds,

4:57

pickled pig's feet that induce a

5:00

devastating degree of sadness.

5:02

It's a trip. Um,

5:05

that's Max's favorite, actually. It's

5:07

just nice to feel something. Before

5:10

hitting the road, how about one last

5:12

trip south of the border? We

5:14

have an impressive selection of over 34 varieties of

5:18

microwavable burritos. Everything

5:21

from breakfast, brunch, lunch,

5:24

dinner, dessert, and

5:26

various other

5:28

flavors. Right, right now if

5:30

you grab three, uh, you'll

5:33

receive a portable microwave to take with

5:35

you on your journey. It

5:37

has a little cigarette lighter adapter. Hell

5:39

of a deal if you ask me.

5:43

Are you dealing with

5:46

the regret of never having

5:48

accomplished anything significant in your

5:50

life? Punish yourself appropriately

5:52

with some Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Enough,

5:54

enough, turn off the music. What's

5:57

wrong? No,

6:00

we're eating too fast? That's fine.

6:02

I can start over. Where's

6:04

the rewind? No, no, don't do it

6:07

again. Look,

6:10

I need some answers. Five

6:12

minutes ago, I'm sitting at home eating

6:14

a plate of toaster waffles. Next thing

6:16

I know, I'm driving down a deserted

6:18

highway, then pulling into a gas station,

6:20

in the middle of God knows where,

6:23

and you start reading off some brain melting

6:25

specials of the day with Gimli here. I

6:28

just want to know what's really going on. Give

6:31

it to me straight. Am I

6:33

high right now? Possibly, but that's

6:35

irrelevant. You're here because

6:37

you're dead. This

6:40

is your last stop on your way to

6:43

the great beyond. It's our

6:45

job to make sure you're prepared for the ride. Uh-huh.

6:48

And what if I don't believe you? What

6:51

if this is all just some kind of sick dream,

6:53

huh? Some elaborate prank? Look,

6:57

I understand this experience can

6:59

be jarring. Especially

7:02

if your death was sudden

7:05

or unexpected. I

7:08

can't remember, but I probably went through the

7:10

same emotions you're experiencing right now. For

7:12

the sake of argument, let's say you're telling

7:14

me the truth. What's to

7:16

keep me from driving back the direction I

7:19

came from, huh? High-tailing it back

7:21

to my living room. No

7:23

pun intended. There's

7:26

nothing keeping you from that. I

7:28

mean, we can't stop you, but

7:31

I don't recommend it. Yeah, and why's that? Microwaveable

7:34

burritos. What

7:37

is that supposed to mean? I'll show you.

7:40

Come on, follow me. Our

7:45

microwavable burrito selection. Currently,

7:47

there are 34 varieties.

7:51

If you drive back the way you came, there's going to

7:53

be 35. Here,

7:55

take a look at this package. What

7:57

do you see? It says,

7:59

Gutbuster Burrito. in microwavable burritos. And

8:03

there's a face lady with red

8:05

hair. Alice's chicken

8:07

aller king style. Read

8:10

the back. Okay.

8:14

This delicious microwavable snack

8:17

is dedicated to Alice McDougall

8:19

who attempted to return to the

8:21

physical realm and retrieve her beloved

8:23

cat Wallace. We honor

8:26

her brave effort. What

8:28

the hell is this? Just keep

8:30

reading. In accordance

8:32

with the governing rules of the

8:34

Astral Plane, the full essence of

8:37

this individual's existence, desires, purpose, and

8:39

romantic history has been meticulously crafted

8:42

into this artisan style

8:44

burrito. Taste the flavor of

8:47

life. So

8:49

there's ground up lady in

8:51

here? Uh, no. God

8:54

no. That's, that's disgusting.

8:57

Um, this isn't her physically. It's

8:59

the flavor and texture of her

9:01

existence, which

9:03

apparently tastes like diced chicken in

9:06

a cream sauce. It's actually

9:08

pretty good. Congratulations, friend.

9:11

I've heard some crazy shit in my life, but

9:13

I've never heard anything like that. But

9:18

you know, at

9:21

that I'd be chicken. Some kind

9:23

of chicken burrito. Why

9:25

do you say that? Thought on one

9:27

of those placemats at a Chinese restaurant. I was born

9:29

in the year of the chicken. I

9:32

think you mean rooster. Really? I

9:35

always thought it was chicken. I

9:38

think I'd rather be a chicken than a cook, you

9:41

know? Oh, God.

9:44

I need a cigarette. You got

9:46

those, huh? A brand that

9:48

doesn't taste like devastating sadness or contain

9:50

the essence of someone's great grandma? You

9:53

have one of mine. Thank

9:55

God. Something I can

9:57

actually use. I know

9:59

These things. They're awful for yeah. I'm not

10:01

sure you gotta worry about that anymore.

10:05

Come on buddy, take a look

10:07

at that carb years. That's the

10:09

other thing. I don't even own

10:11

a car. Then boom and suddenly

10:13

cruising down the highway and a

10:16

Buick Skylark as one hell of

10:18

a core. Sure, I'm not complaining,

10:20

but that's not my automobile and

10:22

this is a mob. Beards natural

10:24

color. Yet here we are. Come

10:26

on, let's get you road ready.

10:28

A Nintendo or whatever your name

10:31

is you really Telling me I'm

10:33

dead? It's attendance and. You

10:36

you. Sorry for

10:39

and only that just a kick in

10:41

the pants. One more question. This

10:44

place. At the end of the road.

10:48

What's it like? Is

10:50

it nice? Yeah. It's

10:53

real nice. That's

10:56

good to know, I guess. Look,

10:59

come come back and see me before taking

11:01

off with a whatever you want lord of

11:04

the Underworld. A

11:12

cash register, Hello

11:15

Attendant! Up Mobile service.

11:17

I always tell people that what

11:19

lies at the end of the

11:22

road is a nice place. Lyric

11:24

Thera putting. I travel a that he

11:26

attended. Yeah, sure

11:28

about. What if

11:30

it's allies? I don't know if

11:33

it's nicer. Not for all I

11:35

know. it could be a plane

11:37

of nonexistent. Of

11:41

money and better than having

11:43

your actually invented until microwavable

11:45

burrito. yeah make maybe I

11:47

don't know a lot of

11:49

people like breeders. Attendant

11:51

as you know, I'm

11:54

and sea bubble of line. So

11:56

you've told me that you are

11:58

now. Even

12:03

the ability to provide comfort. To

12:05

fatten family able to travel

12:07

that one direction I would

12:09

allow myself to expect Congress

12:12

the were headed towards a

12:14

nice place. Regardless of my

12:16

uncertainty, you really think that's

12:18

okay? attended? I am for

12:21

for coffee personal assistant considered have

12:23

legacy. Alerted me to do

12:25

this and. And

12:27

I suppose. Dedicated

12:30

to the capital. Of

12:32

Cavaliers embarking on a game where

12:34

it looks to. Me that level and

12:36

has no care. Would you know? That

12:39

certain amount of good will on

12:41

the part of I superior our

12:43

superiors. I don't even know who

12:46

they are. You cash, I'm sorry

12:48

attendance, Rather apologies for. Hundred and

12:50

seventy three times I'm unable to

12:53

detect objects. Are unable or not allowed?

12:55

Is there anything else I can assist

12:57

you with a kid? Plays

13:00

music you guys little.

13:04

Let's to contemplate us.

13:52

wales is all set for the

13:54

yeah dude you're sitting in his

13:56

car with his head resting on

13:58

the steering wheel out as But

14:01

it ain't like I never seen it before. I told

14:03

them to come back in here. What's this story anyway?

14:06

Geez, I haven't even ran the report.

14:09

Cash register. How

14:11

can I help you attend it? Request the

14:13

traveler bio for... Oh

14:16

God, I didn't even ask his name. I got

14:18

that from him at least. Name's

14:21

Lawrence Cobb. Requesting traveler

14:23

biography for Lawrence Cobb.

14:29

Alright, let's take a look here. Lawrence

14:32

Cobb, age 42. Looks

14:36

like it was the toaster waffles that did him in. Choked

14:39

to death watching television. When

14:41

I die, that's how I want to

14:43

go. Yeah, well, you are dead.

14:45

So there's that and what? You

14:50

want to die choking on

14:52

frozen breakfast foods? Watching

14:55

TV? You're

14:57

judgy, you know that. Anyway,

15:01

born and raised in New York. Managed

15:03

the electronics counter at a department store.

15:07

Fascinating stuff, but you know what I want. Yeah, I know. There

15:12

you go, you sick little man. Embarrassing

15:15

childhood memories, God, I love

15:17

these. Look, in fourth

15:19

grade, choked on an ice cube at lunch and

15:21

threw up all over the table. How

15:25

do you even do that? Hm. Says

15:29

his wife died. Her

15:32

name sounds so familiar. Deborah Cobb.

15:35

Deborah Cobb. ha

15:41

Deborah Cobb. Cash,

15:44

do you have a record of a Deborah

15:46

Cobb who was married to a Lawrence Cobb?

15:48

Indeed. Deborah Cobb,

15:51

age 36. Sudden

15:54

death, brain aneurysm. Jesus,

15:57

that's so young. We have so many

15:59

people come through. here, Tendi. What

16:02

makes you think you'd remember some random woman?

16:05

We must have had 20,000 Debra's

16:07

at Desert Skies in my time and at

16:09

least a handful of Debra cobs. I

16:11

don't know. Some people just stick

16:14

with you, Mac. Yeah, I

16:16

guess that's true. There is that

16:18

one guy who crapped his pants dancing to you. You're

16:20

the one that I want during a school play. I

16:23

still got the report pinned up in my shack. You

16:26

can't make this stuff up. No, you can't.

16:30

I think I'm going to check on our traveler. Mr.

16:44

Cobb? Go away,

16:46

Nintendo. I

16:48

just want to talk real quick. Give

16:51

me 30 seconds. Please,

16:55

Mr. Cobb. Stop

16:59

calling me Mr. Cobb. My name is Lawrence.

17:02

Hey, Lawrence. Buddy, you've

17:05

been out here a while and we're

17:08

getting kind of worried about you. Worried about me?

17:11

What's there to worry about? I'm already

17:13

dead. Dead is

17:16

such a weighty word.

17:19

You left a physical plane. So what? It's

17:23

just one plane of existence. This

17:25

is another. And down

17:28

that road is another. And

17:31

that's your destination. That's

17:33

the next life. Yeah, well, if it's so great,

17:35

why haven't you driven down that road, huh? If

17:39

it's so wonderful, what are you doing out

17:41

here in the plane of God knows what,

17:43

hawking burritos with people in them? I

17:45

don't know. What do you mean you don't know?

17:48

You're dead too, right? You

17:50

must have pulled in here just like me. But

17:53

you stayed. You're right. I

17:55

mean, I assume

17:57

that's what happened, but I... I

18:00

don't remember a time when I wasn't working here. When

18:03

I wasn't the attendant. I

18:06

don't remember my life on the physical plane

18:09

or my real name. I

18:12

have no idea who I am or

18:15

even how I died. Jesus that's

18:17

messed up guy. So

18:21

what's to keep you from going now? Get

18:23

in the car. Come on we'll go together. I

18:26

know I'd feel better if someone was with me you know. I'm

18:29

sorry Lawrence I can't. Why

18:32

not? Because I like what I do.

18:35

It may not seem like much to you but

18:38

to me it's everything.

18:42

It's all I've ever known. Do

18:45

you know how many Lawrence Cobbs I've had come

18:47

through here? People like you

18:49

who get behind that wheel and can't seem to turn

18:51

the key? And

18:54

99.9% of the time I get

18:57

them down that road. I

18:59

save them from the burrito plane of

19:01

existence. I

19:04

help them move on. It might

19:06

not be so bad being a burrito you know. A

19:10

lot of people like burritos. This

19:12

is true. You

19:14

know I had a wife who died three

19:17

years ago. I

19:20

couldn't do anything without her. Ever

19:23

since she's been gone my life's just been

19:25

one pointless day after another. She

19:29

might be up there too huh? Down that road?

19:33

How could I not realize that? Tell

19:36

me did a Deborah Cobb ever come through this place?

19:40

She did. Well

19:43

well okay. I'm

19:45

gonna get to see her again. Come

19:47

inside Lawrence. Let's get you what

19:49

you need. Hey you got any of those corn chips

19:51

shaped like a dunce cap? Indeed we do. And

19:54

you didn't do nothing weird to it. No

19:57

need. Those things are weird.

20:00

enough on their own. So

20:07

go ahead and take a look around the store, Lawrence, and

20:09

meet me at the counter when you're done. Thanks,

20:11

but I can't buy none of this stuff. I don't

20:14

even have my wallet. Then

20:16

how in the hell are you planning to

20:18

pay for all that astral grade fuel I

20:20

just pumped into your Buick? We

20:23

don't take kindly to thieves around here. Hey

20:25

now, wait just a minute. You

20:28

didn't say nothing about no payment. I

20:30

mean, what would you guys even do with money?

20:33

Nothing at all. Mac is

20:35

just being an asshat. Yeah, I'm just messing

20:37

with you buddy. Nobody's

20:39

got money this side of the physical realm. You

20:42

know what they say, you can't take

20:44

it with you. When you go, yeah. Like

20:47

I said, just grab whatever you like and

20:50

I'll be waiting for you right here.

20:54

Oh, and don't forget to

20:56

grab a map. They're

20:59

on that rack over there by the burrito freezer. There's

21:02

only one main road that you'll need to stay on,

21:04

but there's some interesting sites along the way you might

21:06

want to check out. Oh, also, it gets

21:09

cold once you get past the Martian sphere, so

21:11

it would help to grab a- No,

21:13

no, no, no. What's wrong? My

21:17

Dabbie. What about her? I

21:19

told you. She's been through

21:21

here, Lawrence. She didn't go

21:23

down that road. She

21:26

tried to go back. What are you talking

21:28

about? Come see for

21:30

yourself. See what?

21:33

That's her face. Right there. Dabbie's

21:36

waffle stuffed burrito. Let

21:38

me see. It

21:41

says this delicious microwavable snack

21:44

is dedicated to Deborah Cobb,

21:47

who attempted to return to the

21:49

physical plane for her dear husband,

21:51

Lawrence. We honor the

21:53

sacrifice she made in the name of love.

22:00

Damn it. I knew

22:02

I remembered that name. My wife. The

22:04

only reason I ever had for living is

22:07

a burrito. A lot

22:10

of people like burritos. Okay,

22:12

I should shut up. No. You're

22:15

right. A

22:18

lot of people like burritos. But

22:21

I loved this one. And

22:23

she's gone. For

22:25

a second there, I thought there really was a chance

22:27

we could be together again. I'm

22:31

so sorry, Lawrence. Que

22:34

sera sera. Could

22:37

I have a moment alone, fellas? Of

22:40

course. Mack? Coming.

22:47

Poor guy. I can't imagine

22:49

what he's feeling. The

22:51

thoughts that have to be going through his head right now. And

22:54

to think that if his wife could have

22:56

just waited, they'd be together

22:58

now. I

23:00

wonder what it feels like, Mack. To

23:04

miss the physical plane. The

23:07

people you left behind. I

23:12

remember things about the

23:14

physical plane. Real general things. Telephones,

23:17

TVs, wars, placemats

23:20

at Chinese restaurants. But

23:23

I don't remember me. The

23:26

only me I remember is the

23:29

me at Desert Skies. I've

23:33

asked Cass to request a bio so many

23:35

times I've lost count. And

23:37

every time she says the same thing, I'm

23:40

unable to submit bio request

23:42

for current staff. I

23:45

know I've asked you before, Mack, but you don't

23:47

remember anything else about me when I got here?

23:51

Just the same stuff I told you before, Tindy. You

23:54

showed up, got out of the car,

23:57

walked past me like I wasn't even there,

23:59

dead silent. You went inside.

24:01

I started prepping your vehicle for

24:03

the journey and when I went to tell you it

24:05

was ready, you were already standing

24:07

behind the counter. The

24:10

old attendant had slipped out the back and took the car

24:12

meant for you. I guess

24:14

he was finally ready to hit the road. Funny

24:18

thing is, I never

24:20

got back. Come here. Look

24:23

at this. What's he doing? He's chewing.

24:26

What's that in his hand? That,

24:29

my friend, is

24:31

Deborah Cobb. The

24:33

full essence of her existence,

24:36

desires, purpose, and

24:38

romantic history meticulously crafted

24:40

into an artisan-style burrito.

24:44

Well, I'll be

24:46

damned. I've never seen a man

24:48

sob and eat a burrito at the same time.

24:52

I have. You said

24:55

you'd never mention that again. Hey,

24:58

fellas. Hey,

25:00

Lawrence. You all right? Yeah.

25:03

You know what? I am. I think

25:06

I'm ready to go. But you

25:08

don't have anything. Don't need anything. You

25:11

don't have to, but you sure you don't want

25:13

to grab some snacks for the road? At

25:16

least let me grab you a map. No need. I

25:19

ain't stopping. Well,

25:22

okay then. Sounds like

25:24

you're ready. As I'll ever be. Thanks,

25:27

fellas. For everything. And

25:37

that was

25:44

the last time that we ever saw Lawrence

25:47

Cobb. And that was the last time that

25:49

we ever saw Lawrence Cobb. As

25:53

his tail lights faded into the distance, we

25:56

were reminded of the power of love and

25:59

its ability. to cause wandering

26:01

souls to find resolve. Perhaps.

26:04

Each one of them. Give it a rest, Mac. Look.

26:09

He's turning around. Maybe

26:13

he's coming back for something. I

26:16

don't think so. He's not slowing

26:18

down. And

26:27

there he goes. Nothing

26:29

you could have done, Tindy. I

26:32

really thought he was going to make it. Who's

26:34

to say he didn't? Seems

26:37

to me like he made it exactly where he

26:39

wanted to go. The freezer, Al.

26:42

Come on, Tindy. We got a 35th variety

26:44

now. Let's

26:46

see what it is. We're going to need

26:48

a bigger freezer. You go ahead. I'm

26:52

going to submit my traveler report. Hey,

26:56

Cash. Hello,

26:58

attendant. I'd like

27:00

to submit my traveler report for

27:03

Lawrence Cobb. I am

27:05

ready to copy your report. Another

27:08

traveler is coming on. Lawrence

27:12

Cobb never departed for his trip

27:14

across the celestial spheres. It

27:18

seems that he found a reason to

27:20

head the other direction. It's

27:23

different this time, though. He

27:26

wasn't trying to return to the physical plane, at

27:28

least as far as I can tell. He

27:32

knew what the outcome of driving that direction

27:34

would be, and that seemed

27:36

to be his intention. To

27:39

follow the path that his dearly departed

27:41

Deborah had taken just three

27:43

years before. I hope he

27:45

found what he was looking for. That's

27:48

the end of my report, Cash. Pensive

27:50

and distinct, attendant. Were

27:52

you removing anything else? Yeah. It's

27:55

probably time we requested a second freezer. Thirty-four

27:58

varieties of microwavable... Burrito is

28:00

just about all we have

28:02

room for. Looks like you're

28:05

not up to thirty five

28:07

varieties just yet. Birds what

28:09

he means. There you go

28:11

look your sale. Lawrence and

28:13

Debbie's Chicken and Waffles Stuffed

28:15

Burrito Ah, and read the

28:17

bat. This delicious microwavable snacks

28:19

is dedicated to Lawrence and

28:21

Deborah of. His

28:24

love for one another transcends the

28:26

boundaries of the known things. May

28:29

their essences enjoy an of our

28:31

to nobler together. If

28:34

the flavor of month.