0:06

He's a sexy sexy man, sexy

0:09

sexy clown because he ain't

0:11

no stuck us. Look, it's so flight. You could

0:13

try like a truck, lean like a plank.

0:15

You the solive younger, fool wheel

0:18

dry so we never get stuck up. He pray

0:21

so much to get up. A lot of band within saying

0:23

he's a god y. He ain't no stand and he

0:25

doesn't have He's on a nighttime standwich

0:28

because everybody knows he's a Burgundy Bandit

0:31

Ron Burgundy Podcast

0:34

Live from Lago and Holley

0:36

Word, California. It's

0:38

the Round Burgundy Podcast. Put

0:42

your hair stick out, rod

0:44

BURGA

0:57

thank you, thank you, thank

1:01

you, thank you. I'm

1:05

not gonna lie. That feels good, boy,

1:10

especially after the day I had. What

1:13

happened. I got stuck in a ditch. I

1:17

got stuck in a ditch, simple

1:19

as that. Who'll put you in there? No?

1:22

I was walking along Lasian coming

1:24

out for my lunch at Sin Gentlemen's

1:26

Club, and

1:30

I saw something shiny in

1:32

the bike lane, and I thought

1:34

it was a diamond, or

1:37

at least a cubic zeconium

1:39

zeconium zum

1:42

okay, keep going cz

1:47

and I reached down to pick it up, and

1:50

next thing you know, my lug gets

1:52

stuck in the rain gutter. And

1:55

I swear to God, the clown from it was

1:58

pulling me down. It was and it

2:00

wasn't. It wasn't. It was not

2:02

Pennywise. But I just

2:04

got it, you know, just like, oh God,

2:07

I'm just somehow I'm wedged in here in the morning, Jos.

2:10

The longer you're stuck in there, like, I'm getting

2:12

deeper and deeper and I'm just

2:14

like halfway in and I'm like, I'm stuck

2:17

in a ditch. I

2:20

am stuck in a ditch on

2:23

Wednesday afternoon at

2:26

one oh four pm.

2:29

And here's the weirdest part. No one would help me.

2:32

Stuck in a ditch. You

2:35

called out for people. Finally

2:37

someone called the fire department and they

2:39

got the jaws of life, got

2:44

the jaws of life. And

2:46

because I thought I was dying and they

2:50

tried open the cement and

2:53

everything, I took it down to

2:55

my jeweler. You

2:58

kept the shining, like kept a shiny object.

3:02

It was just a shiny piece of glass.

3:07

All of that for just a shiny

3:09

glass. But

3:12

that's a typical day for me. How

3:14

often um do you eat

3:17

across the street at sin? Uh?

3:21

How often? Honest? I

3:24

would say thirty to forty times a month.

3:28

That's a lunch every

3:30

that's not a lot. That's not a lot, that's

3:33

not that much. That's

3:36

a meal every single day at sin. That's

3:38

four days a week and average of four days a week.

3:40

We don't agree to disagree. It's good

3:42

food. It's good food. And

3:45

uh, I think the back of your ticket stub you

3:47

get a half off a Ruben sandwich over

3:50

there. You

3:52

can either Reuben or a lap dance. You're

3:54

choosing. But

3:57

if you do choose a upas,

4:02

please pick Octavia.

4:06

She's delightful. She's

4:08

a grad student. Uh,

4:10

cal State Northridge, just trying to pick up, just

4:12

trying to pay the bills, you know, trying

4:15

to pay the bills at north Ridge. Cal State Northridge.

4:19

I believe they're the matadors. Is that correct? I

4:22

know my name of college. I'll give you the mascot

4:25

name of college. Mess

4:29

the Oaks,

4:31

Nebraska Cornhuskers, Ohio

4:34

State Buckeyes, Bowling

4:37

Green Bowling Green guys.

4:42

I'll Hoboken, the Slashers, Carolina

4:48

tar Heels. What

4:52

risdi Risdie

4:54

doesn't have a mascot. Come on, I

5:02

believe they are the

5:04

the buckets of maple syrup. It's

5:07

a longer one. They

5:09

shorten it usually what

5:12

a good little talent, just

5:17

recall a mascots. Yep,

5:21

that's what the Guinness Book of World Records is for. I

5:24

read it religiously every day.

5:27

Hear what I want to do? Something isn't exciting? It's

5:30

a. It's a it's so exciting

5:32

to be amongst people again. Isn't it lovely

5:34

to have a communal experience? I

5:38

wonder if you indulge me here for a second. One of

5:40

the greatest songs ever written is Baba

5:43

Baja Man, who let the dogs Out? And

5:48

if I say who let the dogs

5:50

out? You say,

5:54

but okay, so, which

5:56

is great? But

5:59

can we do it as angrily

6:01

as we could possibly can? Okay,

6:05

so, who let the dogs

6:07

out? A

6:10

little little more of a screech? Okay,

6:12

who let the dogs out? Oh

6:17

that's thrilling. Whoo whoo,

6:20

whoo, boo hoo. That

6:23

was the intention of the song, because the Baja

6:25

men were like, what the who

6:28

let my dogs out? And I

6:30

want to know now? And I got to know now? Who

6:34

who I want to answer? I

6:37

love that dog. If

6:40

it happened to backtra I'd be living. Yeah.

6:43

I know. So

6:47

when you next time you're listening to

6:50

you know, the Top forty or

6:53

k Earth one on one and that one pops on, you can

6:57

I don't think it's all the Top forty anywore it

7:00

in heavy rotation. It

7:04

would be a fun carpool trick when you're driving in your

7:06

car pool and it comes on, or purposely

7:09

play it. Have it set up so that when

7:11

you're driving, who let the dog? What's

7:22

wrong with Carolina? I don't know. Oh

7:25

that's my friends. Yeah, that's you driving. You

7:27

were driving. Yeah, I didn't set

7:30

that up properly. It's

7:32

all about the set up. You guys were trying

7:34

a little slogan here at the Burgundy podcast,

7:37

but we do need your help with it. We've been working

7:39

on it. We've been trying some

7:41

out. They haven't been working. We decided to try this one

7:43

out. If you want to say it with

7:45

us, you don't have to, but I hope you do. That's

7:48

a

7:51

that's great, that's really good. I

7:54

think that's can we try it with a little tinge of

7:56

anger? Okay,

7:58

that's that's

8:04

where am I Genoa?

8:08

I was just transported. You

8:15

guys are good. You guys came to

8:17

play tonight. That's fantastic. We

8:22

have been so lucky to do

8:24

these run of shows here at Largo,

8:26

and they've been so generous

8:29

Tonight. All the proceeds are going to

8:31

Care, which is an amazing charity that's helping

8:33

families in the Ukraine right now. So thank

8:36

you so much for trying to take it's really standing.

8:42

I thought originally was going to my charity, which

8:45

is money

8:48

for Ron's bank account. What's

8:51

going to Care? But there and they

8:54

care. They need it much more than

8:56

I do. But barely. H

9:02

You said we were getting political tonight, which

9:04

I was a little bit hesitant. Well, we

9:07

have a very special guest,

9:09

our first guest tonight. Yes. Um,

9:12

we have a bit of a coup, you might say, on

9:15

the show tonight. I

9:18

really landed someone that even I

9:21

couldn't believe I actually pulled

9:23

off. And it's

9:26

uh, it's pretty remarkable the

9:28

more I think about it. He's

9:31

from England. Um,

9:33

and like most of us, I I don't

9:35

know a lot about England. Uh.

9:43

I know it's made up of three countries, Scotland,

9:47

Wales and Denmark. Um,

9:53

I know London is where the Queen lives, and

9:55

she's the ruler of all

9:58

of England and India. No,

10:04

it's all of it. Every

10:07

They also have a whole other government they called Parliament,

10:10

and it's it's not the Funkadelic

10:12

band Parliament. Yeah, although

10:15

that would be pretty cool, wouldn't it. And

10:18

and the guy who runs Parliament

10:21

is called the Prime Minister. He's the top

10:24

dog. Uh. And

10:26

well this is a little crazy.

10:29

Uh. But we have the Prime

10:31

Minister of England here tonight. Um,

10:36

and so let's just jump into it. Please welcome

10:38

the Prime Minister of England, Mr

10:40

Boris Johnson, Your

10:55

excellency, h thank

10:57

you for coming on the show. We are so on

11:00

to have you. Um,

11:04

sidebar um,

11:06

let's just get into it. Sure, yeah, Brexit,

11:11

what is it? Why is it? Where

11:13

is it? Who is it? Brexit?

11:18

We're getting we're getting political. Um. No,

11:20

that's great. Um, it's nice to see take this

11:22

new direction. Wrong. Um, okay,

11:25

well it's the show. Um.

11:27

Right, And you don't

11:30

seem very sure of yourself. Well

11:32

I'm not sure it was a very good idea.

11:35

Oh yeah,

11:38

I'm sorry, Carolina.

11:42

This is like my Frost Nixon here.

11:44

It's not it's give

11:47

me a break, I promise you,

11:49

am Scray,

11:56

Mr Prime Minister. You

11:59

look very confused, lizard

12:02

jetlag. It could be,

12:04

it could be I'm a little I'm a little bit confused,

12:06

a little bit confused. Yeah I'm

12:10

not. I'm not the prominencer

12:12

of England. I have to talk to

12:15

you. What

12:19

maybe you'd like to sit this one out and watch from

12:21

the audience. Okay,

12:25

listen, Um, that's not Boris

12:27

Johnson. That's who is. If it's

12:30

it's Um, it's it's

12:33

Dan Stevens. He was an

12:35

actor on Downton Abbey. He's just

12:40

yeah, wait which

12:42

one on Dannton Downton Abbey? He

12:45

was Matthew Crawley.

12:48

I know, I know,

12:52

I know. What

12:56

did you say to write

12:58

when right when you walked out? It's

13:01

okay, it's okay, no stop

13:04

stop, I

13:09

wrong. Matthew's Stephen,

13:12

Okay, Matthew Crowley,

13:15

Matthew Crowley, d

13:21

Matthew Crawley. And

13:26

I'm Ron Brickety. I know. I'm

13:29

shaking like a leaf. You

13:33

are so handsome, thanks,

13:37

Ron, Um. Oh

13:39

my god, how did we get that so mixed

13:42

up? It doesn't matter. Oh

13:48

God, you are studying, you

13:50

really are it's like

13:52

staring at a Greek statue. That's

13:55

that's very kind. Are you

13:57

okay? Are you okay? Wrong? Um, I'm

14:01

fine, I'm gonna be great. I'm great.

14:03

No, I'm fine. Are you fine? Are you okay?

14:05

I'm great? Now? Yeah, I'm glam

14:11

How could you talk about those things? But what

14:13

was it like playing Matthew Crawley?

14:16

It was? It was great? Wrong,

14:20

I didn't know you was such a huge fan of Oh

14:22

my gosh, you really

14:25

are you kidding? Are you kidding me? Right now? It

14:28

was Deapta and Abby right,

14:34

that's that's awesome. Our nation. I don't

14:37

know if anyone watched it over there, but we

14:39

were blue. We

14:42

were glued to the telly.

14:49

Was that just the break of a life? Points

14:51

is cractually? I don't usually

14:53

speak in a higher region. Was it

14:57

was that a huge break for you to lay them the part of

14:59

Matthew Crawley on Downton Abbey. Yeah,

15:01

it was a great It was a great moment. Yeah, yeah,

15:03

it was huge, And I'm thrilled.

15:06

Every time I meet a fan, you know, a

15:08

lot of people must come up to you recognize you from

15:10

that, so sometimes they did. Yeah, I

15:12

didn't have a mustache on that No,

15:15

you were clean shaven, trust me, that

15:20

smooth baby skin you

15:23

photographed? Well, my friend, thank you. I

15:26

ever loved you. If

15:30

you did so many things. You

15:33

lived in a castle, you lived in a manor house,

15:35

you fought in World War One?

15:38

What do you want to talk about other things that you've

15:40

done? I just want to get the rent Okay,

15:49

truth be told. When Lavinia

15:51

Swire died, I

15:54

was so happy.

15:57

But then you married Mary. They

16:00

have to admit I was a little upset. M

16:03

In fact, I didn't leave my house for a year. Um,

16:07

but then you go and die in your

16:09

car crash. I

16:11

lost my appetite. I stopped caring

16:13

for my body. I

16:16

lay in my bed, in my own poop for days.

16:20

I'm so sorry to hear that wrong. Why

16:26

did you let them kill you off? Why did you leave

16:29

down tonight? I'm so sorry.

16:31

Ron. You know you're familiar with the band

16:33

Toto, right, Oh,

16:36

yes, sure, yeah, you know, and they make they

16:38

make beautiful music, they really do, and there's

16:40

a lot of them. Did they do then they

16:45

didn't do the theme song, but I would listen to it now

16:47

that but um, you know, I think sometimes

16:49

me all the way would

16:53

you Matthew Crawley tonight take

16:55

me all the away? I

16:58

love it, I think anyway. Sorry, No, it's

17:01

just you know sometimes

17:03

during in a band, there's a lot of members and

17:06

you're thinking, you know, is my is my jazz flute

17:08

being heard? Um, don't

17:10

I know it? Don't I know it? And you

17:12

know, sometimes you just got to take that take

17:14

that flute out. I was kicked out of super Tramp, is

17:17

that right? Yes, I'm so sorry.

17:20

Yeah,

17:23

that was my total But

17:25

they went on to Great Heights and I

17:28

refused to listen to anything done by Super Tramp.

17:32

Did you become a family on Downton Abbey?

17:34

Did you guys? Did you guys hang out a

17:36

lot and do barbecues? We

17:39

were yeah, we were close. Yeah, we had a great

17:41

time. Yeah. I mean we can talk about

17:43

other things if if you want,

17:46

um,

17:48

other things, Yeah,

17:51

like Brexit. We've

17:55

moved on. We've moved on from Brexit. What happened

17:57

with Brexit, by the way, it was was

18:00

a lot of sitting in there through. Yeah

18:02

it finally that was a spicy meat ble. That

18:04

was a spicy a spicy meatble. Are

18:09

people satisfied with what's

18:11

going on now? Post Brexit. I don't. I don't

18:13

think they are. The British don't digest spicy

18:16

meatballs. Well who

18:18

does spicy curries though? Oh? Absolutely?

18:23

That's why the Queen of England still rules India

18:25

to take all the curry and

18:28

bring it to London, is

18:30

what my research says. Like

18:35

all famous British

18:38

actors or anyone of

18:40

from England who has any notoriety,

18:43

do you own a soccer team?

18:48

I'm not. Yeah, I don't know, but is that an

18:50

aspiration? I mean, what's the going right

18:52

for for a soccer team? I'm sure it's

18:55

at least half a million. I'll

18:58

do some saving up, might be fun,

19:00

or maybe I should get a soccer team over here,

19:03

since you know Americans

19:05

and Canadians like to go over to the UK and

19:07

buy soccer teams perpaps. We could oh

19:10

to Shay, Yeah, wouldn't that be

19:12

fun? I'm all for it. Yeah, I

19:14

mean, do whatever you want to do. You're Matthew,

19:18

Oh, I think it's a

19:20

it's more I can trying to introduce

19:23

cricket to America. Now, cricket,

19:25

that is a fascinating game. Have you watched the

19:27

cricket watched a little bit like the

19:29

base, you have the wickets exactly.

19:31

You have a batsman. Yeah, you

19:34

have a ball, You try to throw

19:36

it as hard as you can, you bounce it off the ground, and

19:38

then someone just blindly swings

19:40

tries to make on top of this sport for

19:43

an American, A lot of people don't know what and then you just

19:45

running a straight line back and forth down

19:48

the wicket and

19:53

the matches go on for days. They

19:56

can do yeah, up to five days. Point of that, just

20:01

nine innings is long enough. Our baseball games

20:03

are pretty long, pretty long. Yeah,

20:05

yeah, yeah, but I'm talking days,

20:07

five days. Yeah, a five day

20:09

test match, five day test matches. Why is it

20:11

called a test match? That's a very

20:13

good question. I think because it's it's a

20:16

real test. It's a real test day. Serious.

20:18

You don't just play one five game, you play

20:20

a whole series. And English mind games

20:23

is usually considered one of the better cricket teams.

20:25

Well, I mean, like many

20:28

things, we invented this sport and then took it

20:30

around the world and then better than better

20:32

than that,

20:36

because right now I believe the top cricket teams

20:38

are Panama, uh,

20:41

Uruguay, um,

20:44

Madagascar. Uh

20:48

oh, what's that? Place, Turks and Keiko

20:52

anywhere. I think. I think all of those places

20:55

may have a day. Yeah, yeah,

20:58

there is. There is a traditional of cricket

21:00

in Hollywood. The Hollywood Cricket team used

21:02

to be British actors

21:05

and movie people who were

21:08

missing their sports and got to play cricket all year

21:10

around in the beautiful sunshine. And some

21:12

of them would bring their butlers, and

21:14

they would have their butlers bring their spectacles

21:17

onto the pitch that they could see the ball. It's

21:23

a long way from baseball. What

21:27

are you working on now, Matthew. I

21:36

thought you were all into butlers. That was just I

21:40

one of my way. No, I used to I've had many

21:42

butlers, and

21:44

uh, they usually get

21:46

fired because

21:49

there incapable of you

21:51

know, doing the job the way I like to do

21:53

it. I'm very fastidious. So

21:56

I mean, what

22:02

last time you fire your butler? Yes,

22:04

it was because he saw you cry? Right,

22:08

the previous butler got fired because

22:11

he saw you cry. It's

22:14

embarrassing. I don't want a lot though,

22:17

and they need to pick up the

22:20

queue of what I'm about to cry and leave the room.

22:23

But they end up just watching it like I'm some freak

22:26

show. Can I can

22:28

I ask you a question? Wrong? Please sit down to cry?

22:31

Oh my god, just

22:35

the thought of it. If

22:37

I heard the opening bars

22:39

of the theme song to

22:42

two Pieces and I'm

22:44

not I'm not talking like sniffles,

22:47

like full from

22:49

the bowels man

22:51

crying and

23:00

my my condo has paper thin walls,

23:03

um and

23:07

really piss off the neighbors. I'm like, get some earplugs.

23:09

I'm watching Downton Abbey. You know this is about

23:11

to happen. Dan,

23:29

Would you indulge me because I wrote

23:32

a letter to you that I keep

23:34

in my wallet and

23:36

I was too afraid to send it to

23:38

you. Uh,

23:40

but you're here? Can

23:43

I read it? Okay?

23:46

Why? Why were you just right to send it? And I always

23:48

keep it on my person wherever I go

23:52

every day in hopes that I would

23:54

ever run into you. What? Nothing?

24:00

Yeah, So I

24:02

wrote this a while ago, and dear

24:06

Lord Crowley, can

24:09

I call you Matthew? My

24:11

name is Ron Burgundy. I'm

24:15

not wanting to fall in love exactly easily.

24:20

Sorry, I'm

24:22

not wanting to fall in love easily. I

24:26

admit I've never experienced same

24:29

sex attraction. I

24:31

support all kinds of love, mind you, but for

24:34

me, it's a rare occasion when a man

24:37

can stir emotions inside my bosom

24:39

like you have. Would

24:47

you ever consider having me as your wife?

24:53

I would honor the traditions of Downton Abbey,

24:55

and as

24:58

your wife, I would make sure

25:00

all of the curtains and floors

25:02

and pictures on the wall we're

25:05

We're dusted every day. Ron

25:12

Burgundy. That's

25:15

signed Ron Burgundy. If yes,

25:18

write me at this enclosed address,

25:22

that's beautiful. I'm

25:24

so tire strong to thank you means so

25:26

much, so

25:29

happy to hank you to n You don't have to clap, you'll

25:32

have to tap. I shouldn't

25:34

have read that out loud. Let

25:38

me apologize to you. I'm

25:41

sorry. Um

25:44

who how you gonna

25:46

cry? No, I'm not gonna cry. I'm

25:48

not gonna cry now. But if the whole

25:50

audience sang bum

25:52

bum bum bum bum

25:55

bum bum bum bam

25:57

bam bam bam bam, I

26:05

feel we should stop. Matthew

26:09

Crawley, sorry, dad.

26:12

This has been an honor and a privilege of

26:14

a lifetime. Did

26:17

I get to meet the Prime Minister? No?

26:21

No, I did not. Will

26:25

I ever get to meet him? Probably not? But

26:28

I would trade this encounter for

26:30

a thousand meetings with the Prime

26:32

Minister again and

26:34

again and again. You're a

26:36

gentleman and a scholar. Thank

26:39

you, and you are you

26:42

are like an angel. You

26:45

were like an angel who has descended

26:48

upon all of us and touched us with your majesty.

26:52

And everyone is going to leave this there tonight

26:55

a changed person and

26:57

we'll do better because of

26:59

your presence. You're

27:03

a vision dressed in white light,

27:05

emanating from you, cascading

27:09

out and piercing the souls,

27:12

the hearts, the internal organs of everyone

27:16

in this theater, in the city,

27:20

in this country, in

27:22

this hemisphere, in

27:25

this solar system.

27:29

And that is not hyperbole. Dance

27:32

Stevens. Everyone, thank you so much. Thank

27:34

you wrong lady

27:42

dat Seed for

27:45

great nat Seed. Oh

27:56

that was a lot. That was Boner City,

27:59

USA, right there, Boner

28:03

next up, Boner City. U

28:05

s A get my passport out

28:07

stamped multiple

28:10

times? Got it,

28:17

I'm stamping all the pages in my passport.

28:21

I'm only gonna go one place, the Boner City.

28:26

Who Oh,

28:29

yeah, that was a

28:32

lot. Uh. I

28:35

could get stuck in a ditch from here on

28:37

out and I will be a happy man. Well,

28:40

we have to thank Largo quickly for having

28:42

us. Yes, the people are wonderful

28:44

here. The buffet in the back leaves

28:47

something to be desired for. Its

28:51

out all day. That's day old lobster. Back there,

28:53

They're like, we have lobster buffet, and I'm

28:55

like, how old

28:57

is this lobster? Have

29:00

you ever eaten tainted lobster? Tainted?

29:03

Yes? No, you don't

29:05

want to. I don't get to know. Okay,

29:08

numerous times? What kept

29:10

you going back? I was at

29:13

a crush on the waitress. Okay,

29:15

I'm gonna help yourself. Couldn't help myself.

29:18

That sin? It was that sin. Yes,

29:23

you know it's tainted lobster. If your

29:25

mouth starts foaming, I

29:27

think that's much more serious than

29:29

just some tainted lobster. I think maybe it was.

29:32

Yeah, yeah,

29:34

it's system just shutting down. Yeah,

29:39

my system did shut down. Pepsis.

29:44

Sepsis, babe, sepsis, But

29:47

you take a pepsi to cure sepsis.

29:51

It sounds similar, but it has nothing to do with it, and sepsis

29:53

is just a breakdown of the internal organs. Altogo.

29:57

All the lights are going out. Okay, you

30:00

don't want to go there. Tainted

30:02

lobster, don't do it. Should

30:05

we bring out our next guest? Yes,

30:09

yeah, I think we should. In fact,

30:12

it's very apropos. I think you

30:14

guys are going to find this as a let

30:21

the dogs out so

30:27

primal. Yes, it is. It's

30:31

primal. Our

30:34

next guests. Oh Boy

30:38

is a world famous Emmy Award

30:40

winning television host. He

30:42

owns three restaurants here in California.

30:46

He is best known for his show on the Food

30:48

Network Diners, Drive

30:50

Ins and Dives. Please

30:52

welcome, Guy, Pierre. Thank

31:02

you guys. Pierre.

31:19

Now it is Guy.

31:21

It's not. It's

31:25

it's it's not. It's like, but if you go

31:27

to France or to Montreal, do

31:30

you say call me? You

31:33

just keep it Guy, I keep it Guy. I lived

31:36

in France. I was an exchange student in France sixteen

31:38

and and that was the worst thing that they

31:40

could call me was it was just too close to geek.

31:43

It was a very it was difficult

31:52

step PERI.

31:57

Yeah, I agree. I agree. I

31:59

said, Pari, this is crazy,

32:02

isn't it. Um

32:05

Let's get okay, let's let's get right

32:07

into it here. We've got some good questions

32:09

here. What's

32:11

your favorite diner you've been to? I

32:14

mean, I have a little I have a little

32:16

indie restaurant near my house called

32:18

McDonald's. Um,

32:21

it's not Scottish food, but they do breakfast,

32:24

lunch, and dinner and I just love

32:26

it. What's your what's your favorite diner? If

32:29

you can even name one, I it's it's

32:31

like what your what's your favorite kid or your favorite song.

32:33

It's almost impossible. Yeah, you really

32:35

can't just go because when you go to one

32:37

of these places, it's it's kind of like being

32:39

in the moment. You're not just eating the food,

32:41

You're you're meeting the people, You're having the experience.

32:44

You're you're kind of breathing it all in,

32:46

you know, gonna is there a

32:48

certain region of the country that has a

32:51

preponderance of good diners over

32:53

another or they just wonderance? Yes, how

32:56

do you spell that? Okay?

33:01

Pr E E P O E

33:04

D E R E n c X

33:07

the exercile at the ex silent

33:11

Um. I think, uh top

33:13

three one one of my favorite cities

33:15

of Chicago. Great great,

33:18

great city for food. By the bay, yeah,

33:24

um, I think or by the lake. It's bear

33:27

Lake. You know. Um,

33:30

I'm not gonna argue with you about it. Right now. We don't

33:32

have to give. I would go to that point, but I

33:35

think we pronounced a different way. But how

33:37

would you how do you pronounce it? Which Chicago?

33:40

I kind of have fun with it. I call it

33:43

Chicago. Okay, all

33:45

right? Um, so I would say Chicago, I

33:47

would say, I think l A has gotta dynamite

33:49

food scene, a lot of healthy joints, um,

33:53

and then I would I would have to go. I

33:56

don't know, man. I think I think Florida

33:58

has got a good a good food where warm,

34:00

wherever people can eat outdoors. And you

34:02

have a lot of ethnic You've got a

34:04

lot of culture. Seems like you get a nice little

34:07

melting a melting pot a stew

34:09

if you will. Yeah,

34:11

you kind of make it sound a little funky, but no, yeah,

34:14

do you enjoy making stews? Not

34:16

a big stew person. I'm a big crock pot guy.

34:19

Throw it in the crock pot six hours

34:21

later, I got a meal. Now. A

34:24

lot of times I don't pay careful

34:27

enough attention to what I've actually put in

34:30

the pot. There could be pieces

34:32

of cardboards, shards of glass,

34:35

Like if you didn't take the pasta out of the box

34:37

and the whole thing just but it is

34:39

convenient what's

34:42

the grossest thing you've ever eaten? Um?

34:47

That lobster back there, right,

34:52

that's it's tempting because it looks

34:54

like it's pretty good lobster. It's the lighting,

34:57

the light. Yeah,

34:59

it's seeving back there, and it is frofty

35:01

at the mouth, and the PEPs it did

35:03

not help. Yeah, I'm

35:05

a my my everybody

35:08

knows that I'm not a big egg fan, but

35:10

my real nemesis is beef liver.

35:13

Oh yeah, you could hide the keys

35:15

to a free ferrari under a plate of beef liver.

35:17

There would be no way I would ever. I mean, I

35:20

can't. There's something, there's a funk.

35:22

There's a minerality factor to who's

35:24

a beef beef liver fan. Yeah,

35:28

you gave me a crazy one on that you like beef

35:30

liver and know Oh okay,

35:32

I thought you were saying, no, I beef

35:34

liver. I do not know it as I can't even be when

35:36

we go to we've shot triple D joints and

35:39

they'll be cooking it just on the menu for

35:41

somebody else. And I right, oh you got un

35:43

in the Yeah, I started getting the heat. I

35:46

mean organ meats in general, right,

35:49

anything that had a job. Yeah,

35:53

that's the

35:57

dogs up. Did

36:00

you tell me that you felt like you're in genera? Oh

36:03

yeah, general, Yeah, that's what um

36:06

No, it organ meets. I'm not a

36:08

fan of any of the parts of the animal that had

36:10

a job, if

36:12

it licked, pushed, filtered,

36:15

any of those parts, I'm not. That's

36:18

not my favorite. Not my favorite. I mean, don't get me

36:20

wrong. Trip's got his place, and sweetbreads

36:22

have their place and so forth. But to me particularly,

36:24

that's not my first go to. It's not like

36:26

meat and a cone kind of thing, like a chicken gizzard.

36:30

Although you do if you cook

36:33

it correctly, it's still tastes

36:35

bad. Yeah.

36:39

Here's something I've always wanted to ask you.

36:43

You've always did you write me a letter? Always?

36:46

Did I get a letter? I didn't write one.

36:48

D um.

36:51

If it's a guy that goes first, he gets a letter, well

36:54

he's just I know, he's magnificent.

36:56

I saw him back there. I've got posters of him

36:58

all over my walls still this day. I

37:01

was able to get a photograph. I've got a

37:04

at eight, I got a basically

37:06

the size of a Persian rug tapestry

37:09

woven of

37:11

Matthew Crawley Dan Stevens.

37:16

I used it as a blackout shade in my living room

37:19

ever since my curtains burned down because

37:23

I left the crop pot. It was short, sir. Here's

37:28

my question. Here's my question. I think he's a question a lot

37:30

of people wouldn't want to ask. Have

37:33

you ever eaten a human toe?

37:38

Cooked? Cooked?

37:41

Or or right? Out of the show? Right

37:44

either way? Yeah? Not even time I

37:46

watch you say, I'm just like God, is

37:48

he ever eating a human toe?

37:54

It's gonna lead me and it's probably

37:57

gonna haunt me later down the line. So I'm gonna

37:59

say no of the eating of the toe because the

38:01

reason why I bring it up here's a hypothetical.

38:04

You got it. You got a chef, buddy, great

38:07

buddy. You believe in him as a chef. He's

38:09

finally opened up his brand new restaurant,

38:12

and he's he's got talent. You're not. It's

38:14

not just a friend like, oh, stop

38:16

by and give him some support. But he's he's very good.

38:18

You're happy for him or her or her or

38:21

them or them or them

38:27

uh uh.

38:35

And the first course they bring

38:37

out is a delightful soup

38:39

or stew or stew and it's really

38:42

good, and you're thinking yourself, my

38:44

friend here is knocking it out of the park. This is gonna

38:47

be great. And you bite into a

38:49

human toe. What

38:52

do you do? Do you just chew

38:54

up that grisly toe and swallow it for

38:56

the benefit of your friends so they don't get shut down

38:59

by the health department, or do you follow

39:01

ethics and say, I'm sorry,

39:04

dear friend, I

39:07

found a toe in the soup. Where

39:10

is this hypothetical from

39:12

I'm sorry and I

39:14

want my money back that I invested in your

39:16

restaurant? What

39:19

would you how would you handle that? It's

39:23

a dear, dear friend. Well, my

39:25

first question, just as a chef comes to me way

39:27

through eating the toes, it

39:30

doesn't taste that bad. Well

39:35

that was gonna be My question is where are the other four toes?

39:37

But maybe I'm getting cheated on the deal.

39:39

Maybe maybe it's

39:43

maybe it is a toes. Can I get

39:45

some more toes? That's

39:49

the way to fix it round for the house? Right,

39:51

let's bring this so now, I don't know that

39:53

I would I think I would go with the flow, you know, I'd

39:55

go with the toe, you know, go with the

39:57

toe. Thank you. I'll be here

39:59

all week, tried

40:03

to code. You

40:06

own restaurants all over the place. UM

40:08

have a few, more than three, by the way, But

40:11

I appreciate the shout out. It

40:14

wasn't you did the research. It was not.

40:17

It was hard for I

40:20

have four. Okay,

40:25

so we weren't off by

40:28

a lot,

40:32

but we got to kind. I

40:36

mean, that's still a C plus, which

40:40

my book I took

40:43

it. That's graduated him.

40:46

You're still getting out of school, so

40:48

you own restaurants. Is it is it cool

40:51

not to ever pay for a meal? Or

40:57

is that just a stupid question? Well?

41:01

I think when everybody goes out to dinner and one

41:03

person picks up the check and the other people don't pay for

41:05

the meal, I think that's okay. But

41:07

I think that like just like not not at

41:10

all paying for the me only. I don't think that's very cool.

41:13

I don't think that's very nice. Even if your friend owns

41:15

the place and you play jazz food, it doesn't matter.

41:17

So don't dine and ditch is what you're saying. Exactly

41:21

good. I would never

41:24

do it. Good. By the way, you

41:26

know where you can't dine and ditch sin

41:28

across the road there because

41:31

they will come chasing you with tire

41:33

irons and prow bars. You

41:37

will give you it, will give you

41:40

a lash.

41:44

Okay, so you own a vineyard? Is

41:46

that correct? I lived by vineyards by

41:49

veneards. Do you do you don't? Do you own one? Or

41:51

no? No? I used to, I used to have, and

41:53

I have a wine. We have a wine company. We have a wine

41:55

company called hunt Ride. We have a tequila business

41:58

called Santo Tequila. We have a couple little projects

42:00

like what about a wine and may honor called ron Burgundy's

42:03

classy Shibli Burgundy

42:08

and together again

42:10

for the first time. It could be a blend. I like it.

42:12

It could be a lot in a boxer bottle

42:15

boxes, better box definitely,

42:17

definitely one

42:20

on one side, one on the other. Drain it quicker. Let's

42:22

start working on this right away. We're

42:25

in a backpack. Yeah, camel

42:28

back. You can bring it with you. Yeah, bring it with you.

42:30

Another hose for a friend to just get ahead. Just

42:32

tape a hefty trash bag to your

42:34

back full of Chablis

42:37

and Burgundy blended together. What

42:40

a mix? Go to the beach. I

42:43

always drink wine on the beach. Would

43:01

you ever start a restaurant? With me. I mean no, I think it

43:03

would be great in the restaurantusiness. I think we got

43:05

to serve rack of lamb because

43:09

it's just a classy classy.

43:13

Is this a classy joint we're doing or is this a die well?

43:15

I don't know, I just joined across the street. Or

43:17

is like the lobster in the back? I only go to restaurants

43:19

if they don't have racca lamb, I walk out, got

43:22

it? Got it? Okay,

43:25

lamb lamb, Chili

43:28

of course, and meat

43:30

in a cone meat three

43:33

items. Keep it simple right there, right

43:36

there, great, keep

43:41

it simple, low overhead, low overhead,

43:43

one cook, one cook, or

43:46

cook it yourself at your table exactly. We

43:49

bring it out. We bring it out kind

43:51

of one of like those um like

43:54

a like a Benny Hunter, like they have a hot

43:56

uh about people burning

43:58

themselves or any kind of it's on. It's you

44:01

have them sign a waiver. Check your

44:03

own racket, lamb. What

44:07

would you like to call it, though? I mean, what would the name of our place?

44:09

Because it

44:11

can be hot hot totsis

44:15

okay, we're competing with strip joint, but that's

44:18

fine. You have a lot of restaurant

44:20

ideas though, I do

44:22

you have a bunch of restaurant ideas well?

44:25

No, I have restaurant ideas always keep with me all

44:27

the time. I have jotted down on

44:29

scraps of paper, can

44:32

I and this

44:34

is the time to share them?

44:35

Right? Wow,

44:40

let's see. Is it a fortune cookie

44:42

paper? It's just note

44:44

but line notebook paper. My

44:49

iPad broke, so okay,

44:54

this one's called. This restaurant

44:56

is called All About the Loaf. Just a meatloaf

44:58

buffet. I

45:01

like it. I like it different types

45:03

of meat loaf or just one meat loaf and different sauces

45:06

either way. Okay, that's good. It's

45:08

a lot of options. No

45:11

shirt, no shoes, no booze, so

45:14

it's super casual, relaxed.

45:18

So you know, shirt, no shoes,

45:21

no booze. So you can't drink their super

45:23

casual. But you can't drink half

45:26

naked and no buzz. Yeah that sucks.

45:30

So you don't like that. That one wasn't

45:32

good. But the meat loaf meat Loaf Haven.

45:34

I like All

45:36

about the Loaf. Oh yeah, that's that

45:39

was our tagline though, meat Loaf Haven. How

45:41

about a restaurant called Surprise. Yeah,

45:52

so you sit down. I've

45:55

been envisioning it right now. You say

45:57

this menu is blank. What's on the menu? Excep what's

46:02

under the apron? Very well? That that

46:04

could be an offshoot part through

46:06

it. What's in the drink? So

46:09

we like that. I like that one. Could

46:12

we put surprise in the meat loaf

46:14

together surprise meat low Okay, okay,

46:17

I don't want to quickly start brain. I don't want

46:19

to expand too quickly. I

46:21

don't want to expand. You

46:24

gotta keep central. And here's

46:26

an here's another conceptual

46:28

one. It's called family

46:30

dinner. We provide the family. So

46:34

you

46:36

you you

46:38

go in by yourself,

46:41

we're feeling lonely, We'll

46:43

set you up with a family. It's

46:45

all family style and

46:48

uh so you so, let

46:51

me get this straight. That's what I'm doing. You're you or

46:53

without that one?

46:55

You're already going to doing that

46:59

one I'm doing. So can I just get

47:01

designers? Do you just do you get to pick the family or

47:03

do we pair you up with the family? Uh

47:06

so you're just walking in turn, guests can

47:08

pick their family. You've got a good meal with,

47:11

you know, kind of like how Jurgensen's

47:13

over there. They're like, oh yeah,

47:15

uh oh, welcome back guy.

47:18

Okay, the usually want to sit with the Jurgensen's

47:21

Jens. That's like that's a made up

47:23

family's So it's kind of like going to so

47:25

I don't want to get letters from all the Jergens

47:28

child Jez

47:30

Louise. Okay,

47:33

okay, do you pay for the family's

47:35

meal? Uh? You? Or do you just

47:37

pay a search charge for the family to be charged

47:39

for the family as you can tip the family if

47:41

you're enjoying your time? How

47:46

many meals is this family gonna eat? You gotta

47:48

be there all day. I can't let them go. I

47:51

can't let them go. Oh my god,

47:53

they're gonna be They're gonna really have consumed

47:56

a lot. Okay. This restaurants, now,

47:58

this one's a little more adventurous, more for the

48:01

foodies. This is called shoot

48:04

your own. Uh

48:07

you're basically you walk into the restaurant,

48:10

which is just a structure and

48:13

a wild an a wild animals

48:15

released and you've got to shoot it, clean

48:18

it, kill it, cook it everything

48:22

like a wild boar. Okay it

48:24

can ring um?

48:28

Okay, I mean that's is there

48:30

more than one? Is? Are

48:33

other people dining in this? Are we just shooting across

48:35

the room at each other It

48:37

depends if

48:40

we if we're guaranteed that they're

48:42

relatively good, aim, we can have multiple

48:44

diners. Otherwise, Yeah,

48:49

I really thought this out. Okay,

48:53

get back to me on that. I do like where you're going. Whatever

48:56

is dangerous, don't come on Thursday.

48:58

Thursday night is panther night. And that's

49:00

a you don't want to be in. Sixty

49:04

percent of the time. It works

49:06

all the time. One

49:09

of my favorite of all of them. Here's

49:11

an interesting one. It's a place called

49:13

Ready, Set Go. Thirty second

49:16

meals get you in and out, probably

49:19

more like oatmeal, soft soft foods,

49:22

shakes, nothing you have to chew

49:24

too quickly, but

49:25

we d go like

49:28

hot chili, hot chili. If

49:30

you're not done by thirty seconds, we take

49:32

the plate away from you and we kick you out because

49:35

we got to turn the tables over. Right. Met loaf and

49:37

a blender. Oh, we already did a met I

49:40

like it. And then that's

49:42

the last one I've

49:44

already started. Uh, and

49:47

it's doing really well. It's called Olive Garden. Uh.

49:52

And I was kicking but and

49:55

then I got shut down. These guys

49:57

and suits showed up and told

50:00

me there was already a chain called

50:02

olive guarden. That's bull,

50:04

no kidding. You know they always that they'll do that

50:07

to you, this young entrepreneur trying to make his

50:09

way in Corduroy, and then all of a sudden

50:11

they take it away from you. That's

50:13

bull. I'm sorry. If I listen, I'll

50:15

help you out. Let's go. Let's get back to the meat. Loaf,

50:17

the low loaven, low low fload, meat,

50:20

low floor, low

50:23

fload. I

50:26

don't think so. Uh

50:32

uh, all

50:34

about the loaf? How

50:38

can I? Who's that pop

50:40

artists? Is things all about

50:42

the babe? That bab We could get Megan

50:44

Trainer to sing a song that plays on

50:46

a loop inside the restaurants,

50:48

all about the loaf, the loaf, the

50:51

loaf. Yeah, I like it. I like it.

50:53

I think that has promised. I think that that along

50:55

with the we like that and the restaurant with the

50:57

family. Yeah.

51:00

You collect classic cars? Am I? Right? Yes?

51:03

What? What? What do you have? What kind of cars?

51:06

A lot of Chevies, Chevelle,

51:09

Corvette, Scarrows, ranging

51:11

from what years, mainly in the

51:14

late sixties, early seventies. Um,

51:18

do you know anything about a escort?

51:23

Mine? Mine is stuck in the driveway

51:26

and it's it's really funny noise. When I

51:28

try to start it up. You

51:30

want to buy it off me. I

51:33

want to roll dice for it. All rolled

51:35

dice anytime. That's

51:39

that's how I got out of giving blood the

51:41

last time. I

51:43

said, look, I'm not gonna give blood,

51:46

but all rolled dice for

51:49

some reason. The young woman at the Red

51:51

Cross goes okay, and we

51:54

and I beat her two out of three times, and I'm like,

51:57

see a sucker, good

52:00

blood from some other Yahoo. I

52:02

hope you guys know how bad I'm dying up here

52:04

right now. Speaking

52:07

of cars, your name is Guy Fiery.

52:10

It sounds like a race car driver named

52:12

to me. Um, how did you get such

52:14

a cool name? My

52:19

family? It's a really cool name. Yeah, my family.

52:22

But I got the name Guy. Guys. Not that it's

52:24

not I mean like ron is

52:26

like Ronald or something. You know, it's dignity. I

52:28

got guys. He is his name. Girl. You

52:30

know I got enough of those jokes. Um, So guy

52:33

and guys not short for anything. Guy's just guy.

52:35

And my parents were hippies. Okay,

52:39

that that explains a lot of Yeah, thank you very

52:41

much. But

52:44

I do have an alias, which is Gus Ferrari.

52:46

Oh, Gus Ferraria, Okay,

52:49

I was having There were two ladies who were having an argument

52:51

about not as cool as guy fiery. I

52:53

don't think so either, But Gus Ferrari does

52:55

get me out a lot of pinches. It's

52:57

just like a secret speakeasy

53:00

thing. Yeah, we're not gonna tell anybody. We'll just keep between

53:03

us. Don't worry about it. On the d L

53:05

ignore all of these microphones. In

53:11

two thousand and fifteen, you

53:15

officiated at the wedding of your good friend

53:17

Art Smith with one

53:20

and one same sex couples in attendance

53:22

as a way to celebrate Florida's lifting

53:24

the ban on same sex marriage. That's

53:26

incredible. What

53:32

that's amazing that you did that. I just want to applaud

53:34

that. Well, thank you, And it was an honor

53:36

and on a very serious note,

53:39

um, to watch a hundred one couples

53:41

that were being kept from expressing

53:43

their love and being together, um

53:46

by some law that's I don't know who

53:48

makes those kind of laws. But but to

53:50

see to be the person that stood there to say

53:52

to them, you are all now one

53:54

or you're now married, and to see the

53:57

tears and the energy and the love and the embrace and

53:59

the whole thing was probably one of the most overwhelming

54:01

things I've ever done. That's so great, wonderful,

54:03

it's really cool. And

54:09

most of the marriages were knows. Is that is

54:11

that correct and

54:16

so wrong? Yes?

54:25

Um,

54:28

I think people should also know that you're involved in a

54:30

lot of charities. Un

54:33

can you can you talk about that before

54:35

you go, because I just do have to say this guy

54:38

raised million dollars

54:40

for restaurant workers during the pandemic

54:46

because the restaurant industry was the one

54:49

of the hardest hit industries by far. Yeah,

54:51

it was. I think probably

54:54

everybody thinks that the restaurant industry is gonna be there.

54:56

You know, you go out early in the morning, restaurants are open.

54:58

You go late at night, restaurants are open one way,

55:01

shape or form. Restaurants are there to service. And

55:03

I've been in the industry my whole life, and I just

55:05

knew that when that closing was happening,

55:07

particularly here in California, I just knew

55:09

that there were so many people that were not going to

55:11

be getting that paycheck or those tips that there's so

55:14

much relying on. And I was really

55:16

frustrated. So I sent out forty three emails,

55:19

actually video messages to the big corporations,

55:22

to the cfo CEOs that run

55:24

these companies. And I don't know the

55:28

bosses, the bosses the big they

55:30

haven't got it the ron burgundaries of the business.

55:33

So I sent out these messages

55:36

and said, you've been doing really

55:38

good off the restaurant industry forever. How

55:40

about right now, you dig deep and

55:42

you give some money and let's get it to the workers.

55:45

And I'm not talking about the owners. I'm talking about the workers.

55:47

I'm talking about the people that are really counting on the

55:49

on the money. And I got a lot of not kicked

55:51

back. But my team thought I was crazy. In my

55:53

family, I sent him out on a Sunday

55:56

night and Monday morning, at nine o'clock,

55:58

PEPSI called and gave us a million bucks. And

56:00

that's how I got started. Yeah,

56:03

it's really full, but you're

56:05

the you're a philanthropist

56:08

to get into it. But we've

56:12

got some charities sure that I work

56:14

with. The one I'm most proud of

56:17

it's very dear to my heart. Um

56:19

it's called Tots for Tots, And

56:22

what I do is I give tater tots

56:25

two children whether

56:28

they want them or not, I'd give them

56:30

tater tots, and

56:33

just to see the smile of young

56:36

child's face, grease

56:38

streaming down his cheeks, as

56:41

he's just like a little chipmunk stuffed

56:44

full with tater tots. If

56:47

they want them or not, whether they want them or not, a

56:50

lot of them run away. A lot of them

56:52

say no, Ron, I've had enough. I

56:56

say, I'll tell you when you've had enough. Get back

56:58

here. I've got a two

57:01

pounds of frozen tater tots in the back of my van,

57:05

single file all

57:08

and anyway.

57:10

So I am so proud. It's

57:14

amazing. You've done

57:16

great stuff. So have I. Caroline

57:23

is too busy. But where are we going to dinner tonight

57:25

after the show? Oh you're too busy?

57:29

Uh? Are

57:31

we gonna invite your friend that you wrote the letter to? Or?

57:34

And we are definitely, In fact we

57:36

could. We told security to not let Dan leave,

57:38

right, he's

57:41

not going anywhere. In fact, I think there's

57:43

a net back there a net, and I try to

57:45

someone throw a net over Dan bound

57:49

his legs gently. Let's

57:52

just you know, yes, let's

57:55

put him little

57:59

tranquilizer dad and then put

58:01

him back in the tater tot bamatam

58:05

um. Guy Fiery, you can't thank you

58:07

enough for coming onto. The show's been what

58:11

next, Guy Fiery? Everyone?

58:14

Thank you much. I

58:19

wonder what I who?

58:30

Well, We're We've just

58:32

about run out of time here, unfortunately, but

58:36

I'd like to internet with one

58:38

final piece. I'd like to call my

58:41

take. You

58:49

can leave. Yes, I've

58:58

got a quick question for you. Have

59:01

Americans lost their collective

59:03

minds? The

59:07

reason why I asked this is because

59:09

everywhere I turn, every

59:12

single person, and I mean every

59:15

single person has

59:17

a service animal. Have

59:21

you noticed this? Now?

59:27

I fully understand seeing eye dogs

59:29

or service dogs in general, but now

59:32

things have gotten out of control.

59:34

Have you flown recently? It's

59:37

like I'm on Noah's Arc service

59:43

dogs and cats and chinchillas

59:46

and parrots and service

59:48

komodo dragons. This

59:52

is Dracula, my service bats. I've

59:56

hantusak your blood Sha, don't

1:00:00

talk to me in a cute see Dracula voice.

1:00:07

It has gotten so bad. I I

1:00:10

once witnessed someone bringing on board

1:00:12

a service giraffe.

1:00:15

Granted it was a baby giraffe, and it

1:00:18

was an Airbus three, pretty pretty big

1:00:20

plane, so but

1:00:23

it was never gonna fit, but

1:00:25

the flight crew had to delicately handle

1:00:28

the situation because the passenger

1:00:30

was threatening to kill herself if

1:00:32

she couldn't bring the service giraffe on

1:00:34

board. I quickly

1:00:36

took a selfie with the draft before

1:00:38

the proverbial hit the fan.

1:00:42

That giraffe was cute. It's

1:00:45

still pretty big for a baby. I'm

1:00:49

not gonna lie. Part of me thought, boy,

1:00:51

that'd be fun to get that giraffe on board. But

1:00:54

that's the one and only time

1:00:56

I felt aligned with someone's service animal.

1:01:00

In fact, what are the rules exactly

1:01:02

governing these animals? It it makes

1:01:04

me want to test the system.

1:01:07

Can I bring a large cooler on

1:01:09

board with my baby's service great white

1:01:11

shark or

1:01:14

a special satchel with my service

1:01:17

tarantula? Remember

1:01:19

snakes on a plane? We

1:01:22

are perilously close to making that scenario

1:01:25

everyday reality.

1:01:28

What about humans? We are

1:01:31

technically animals? Heck,

1:01:33

we are animals right? Next

1:01:35

up I fly? Can I bring my drinking buddy champ

1:01:38

kind with me? And

1:01:42

when they when they asked for a ticket, can I just

1:01:44

explain that he doesn't need one. He's my

1:01:46

service animal. He's

1:01:49

just gonna lie on the floor in this sleeping

1:01:52

bag. We're gonna eat homemade

1:01:54

nachos, drink scotch,

1:01:57

and he's going to keep me calm.

1:02:00

Think about it. Why can't I do that? Or

1:02:03

maybe I'm going to release a swarm of bees

1:02:05

and just tell everyone to relax. They're

1:02:08

my service animals. Relax,

1:02:13

they will eventually congregate near one of

1:02:15

the bathrooms, and please don't

1:02:17

order any sugary drinks. I

1:02:23

guess the question is, how

1:02:26

do we get the genie back in the bottle? Well,

1:02:29

maybe we're right.

1:02:38

Well, maybe we're just simply past the point of

1:02:41

no return. When I really pause to think

1:02:43

about it, maybe

1:02:45

I'm the problem.

1:02:47

Maybe I need to change my way of thinking,

1:02:49

and maybe, just maybe,

1:02:52

the next time I'm stuck in coach

1:02:55

sitting in between a coyote and

1:02:59

a spider monk, as

1:03:05

long as there's a mutual understanding that

1:03:07

no one's gonna bite me in the face, then

1:03:11

what's the big deal. At

1:03:14

the end of the day, we are all God's

1:03:16

creatures. So maybe

1:03:18

let's just sit back, relax,

1:03:21

and enjoy the two and a half hour flight

1:03:23

to Albuquerque. I'm

1:03:26

Ron Burgundy and that's my take. Up.

1:03:35

Stuck up guy, stuck

1:03:38

up. All this duck

1:03:41

will try so we never get stuck up.

1:03:44

Bring so far to get up a lot of bandwids,

1:03:47

and he's a god. He ain't don't stand

1:03:49

and he doesn't have he's on a night sized

1:03:51

stand, which because everybody knows he's the Furgusy

1:03:53

Bandon The Ron Burgundy

1:03:56

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