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1:01

Today, we are going to explore the three

1:04

biggest symptoms of fear

1:06

and self-doubt, and how to overcome

1:08

them.

1:09

Maybe you don't see yourself as someone who

1:11

struggles with self-doubt, or maybe you

1:13

identify as someone who feels shackled

1:16

by self-doubt, and wants to break free

1:18

from it for good.

1:20

But as you'll learn from principles in psychology,

1:23

entrepreneurship, and in my own experience

1:25

in business, self-doubt comes

1:28

in many different shapes and sizes.

1:30

In this episode, we are going to cover the

1:32

three biggest fears we all

1:34

struggle with,

1:36

how to identify which of these fears

1:38

is holding you back the most, actionable

1:40

exercises that you can apply right now to

1:43

face your fears head-on, and more.

1:44

So if you're ready to turn

1:47

your self-doubt into a superpower,

1:49

then let's dive in.

1:59

we bring you an inspiring person or

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message to help you discover how

2:04

to unlock your inner greatness.

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the class begin.

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greatness.

3:51

This is something that I've been thinking about for

3:54

really most of my life is how to turn

3:57

self-doubt into a superpower because

3:59

most of

3:59

my childhood, I was afraid, I was

4:02

insecure. I felt like I didn't fit

4:04

in. I didn't feel like I belonged. And

4:06

I really felt like I was insignificant.

4:11

And when we feel insignificant,

4:13

it's hard to believe in ourselves, right? It's

4:16

really easy to have

4:19

self-doubt. When we feel insignificant,

4:21

we don't feel enough. We don't feel

4:23

worthy, deserving. We

4:26

feel like we're an accident in

4:28

a sense. And when

4:30

you doubt yourself, having the

4:32

confidence to chase your dreams is near

4:35

impossible when you doubt yourself.

4:38

Because you could have the world supporting

4:41

you and celebrating you and cheering

4:43

you on and saying, yes, you can do it. I believe

4:45

in you. But if you doubt you,

4:48

it is going to be near impossible

4:51

to stay disciplined, to show

4:53

up and do the work with full energy, to be

4:56

consistent in your efforts, to master

4:59

a skill, to share your

5:01

gifts with the world. So when we doubt

5:03

ourselves, I truly believe we

5:07

are going to have a life full

5:09

of regret, regretting

5:11

that we didn't

5:13

go after the thing we wanted to do. Regretting that

5:16

we didn't say the thing we wanted to say. Regretting

5:18

that we missed out because

5:21

we were so afraid.

5:23

Self-doubt is the killer of

5:25

dreams. It's a silent

5:27

killer. It's something internal

5:30

that you ruminate

5:33

on for hours,

5:35

days, months, years,

5:38

thinking about wanting to do something,

5:40

wanting to try something, wanting to go

5:42

for it, wanting to ask that person

5:45

out, wanting to

5:46

try out for something that you've always been excited

5:48

about, wanting to launch a side hustle

5:51

or go after that dream job or do

5:54

something greater than your current

5:56

situation. Self-doubt is the

5:58

number one.

5:59

killer of dreams. I've

6:02

wrestled with it. I've

6:05

been, you know, crippled

6:08

by self-doubt at times. The

6:10

belief deep down in my core that somehow

6:14

I was not enough. And

6:16

I don't know if you can relate to that. I don't know if you're

6:18

feeling that right now in your life or you felt

6:21

that in the past. I felt

6:23

I wasn't good enough. I wasn't

6:26

smart enough. I was too young

6:28

most of the time. I was kind

6:31

of like one of the younger ones in my class.

6:33

And so I felt like everyone had a nine month

6:36

head start on me. I had

6:38

a birthday late in the school year

6:40

and everyone was turning older before

6:43

me. So I always felt I was younger. I was not

6:46

smart enough. I was not good enough. I

6:50

didn't have enough connections. I didn't feel

6:52

like I was connected to the right people

6:54

because I didn't have any friends growing up. So I didn't have

6:56

the right relationships and connections.

6:59

My talents weren't good enough. I was picked

7:01

on. I was picked last on

7:03

sports teams in elementary school.

7:06

And I remember that crippling me

7:09

because I was like, oh, I'm not good enough. I'm

7:11

not talented enough. And therefore,

7:13

because I'm not talented enough, I'm getting

7:15

picked last on sports teams.

7:18

And it felt like, what's

7:21

the point of all this? I even had

7:24

other people tell me that I wouldn't be able to realize

7:26

my dreams. They were like, no, you'll never be able to

7:29

accomplish your dreams.

7:30

And my fears contributed to all

7:32

of it, all of it. And as

7:34

I studied over the last

7:37

really couple of decades about

7:39

the champion's mindset, developing

7:42

greatness within you, accomplishing

7:44

your goals in the last 10 years

7:46

doing the School of Readiness podcast,

7:50

I became obsessed with learning about

7:52

how to overcome self-doubt. And

7:54

one of the guests that we had on Dr.

7:56

Wendy Suzuki, she talked about

7:58

in her book, Good Anxiety. that she

8:00

identifies an array of anxieties

8:03

that people experience that we will you

8:05

experience as human beings One is

8:07

the fear of public speaking

8:09

financial insecurity is another fear

8:11

social anxieties just being

8:14

out in public or at events and

8:16

general anxiety and I applied these

8:18

tools to Help create

8:21

the doubt diagram which covers

8:23

three core fears and anxieties that

8:25

all of us as human beings have now What

8:28

is the doubt diagram? This

8:30

is a then diagram where

8:32

fear of success fear

8:35

of failure and fear of judgment

8:37

Intersect they all meet and

8:40

as we go through this take a moment to consider.

8:43

What is self-doubt? costing

8:45

you when you Hesitate

8:48

because you're doubting yourself. What

8:50

price do you pay? What

8:53

is it costing you in your life in

8:55

your health your relationships your

8:58

meaning your purpose your Fulfillment

9:00

your joy your love your

9:02

peace. What price are you

9:04

paying?

9:05

By allowing self-doubt to

9:08

consume you and control your decisions

9:10

actions Thoughts and feelings.

9:13

I just want you to think about and reflect

9:15

on that

9:16

as we cover these three Core fears

9:19

in the doubt diagram and the first

9:21

fear

9:22

is the fear of failure

9:26

Dr. Jordan Peterson says

9:28

you're always afraid except

9:31

when you learn not to be

9:34

Again, you're always afraid

9:37

except when you learn not to be

9:40

Fear is our default position

9:43

as humans

9:44

So if you're afraid of failure, that

9:46

means you're normal So there's nothing wrong

9:48

with you if you're afraid of failure just to let you

9:51

know this is default human

9:53

nature

9:54

But running from your

9:57

fears isn't the answer

9:59

you can't from it.

10:01

Letting them define who you are doesn't work

10:03

either.

10:04

You can't be defined by your fears. According

10:07

to Dr. Jordan Peterson, when

10:09

we are exposed

10:11

to what we are afraid of, we

10:13

get less afraid of everything.

10:16

When he said this based on psychological

10:19

research

10:20

and studies that backed this, it

10:23

fascinated me because when you overcome

10:26

one fear by

10:29

really exposing yourself to that single

10:31

fear, you actually become

10:34

more flexible,

10:37

adaptive. You become more resilient

10:40

to all fears that you have, which is

10:42

really interesting because I noticed this in

10:44

my life

10:45

when I started to go into public speaking,

10:47

I became just more fearless in

10:49

general after about a year of going

10:52

all in on public speaking almost every single

10:54

week I would expose myself to it at Toastmasters.

10:57

When I would do that, it was almost like

10:59

I just became a more confident person

11:01

in general. When I would

11:03

go out to events that I didn't know anyone,

11:05

I was confident. When I was

11:07

having conversations with strangers,

11:09

when I was taking on a new skill, it

11:12

was just like, oh, because I've overcome one

11:14

fear that used to cripple me, I

11:17

can do anything. You almost feel

11:19

like a superhuman. Now, obviously,

11:21

it doesn't mean you're going to be fearless for

11:23

the rest of your life and things are going to come and go,

11:25

but

11:26

it gives you this expansion and this

11:28

belief that you never had before when you overcome

11:31

one fear.

11:33

Again, according to Peterson,

11:35

when we are exposed to what we are afraid of, we

11:37

get less afraid of everything. Here

11:40

are questions to ask yourself to help

11:42

you take action to overcome this barrier

11:44

to greatness.

11:46

One of the questions is,

11:47

to what extent do you

11:50

struggle to overcome the fear of failure?

11:52

Think about this. To what extent do

11:54

you struggle to overcome the fear of failure? How

11:57

has this fear held you

11:59

back? back wholeheartedly from

12:02

pursuing your meaningful mission.

12:05

So there's so many people that I'll talk to when

12:07

they hire me to coach them

12:10

or when they're asking me questions and they say, Louis, I've had

12:12

this dream of writing a book for 10 years. I've

12:15

had this dream of going

12:18

after this career that I've always wanted for

12:20

the last five years but I've just always been afraid.

12:23

It's been my mission to go launch

12:25

this nonprofit but I just, I'm afraid

12:27

it's gonna fail and I'm gonna look like a, I'm

12:30

gonna humiliate myself in front of my peers.

12:33

How has this fear held you back from pursuing

12:35

your meaningful mission

12:37

and to what extent do you struggle to overcome

12:39

the fear of failure? Think about these

12:42

questions and really assess

12:44

it for yourself.

12:46

The second fear in

12:48

the doubt diagram is the fear of success.

12:51

Now the fear of success is often tied to

12:53

imposter syndrome, a fear

12:55

that if you make it big

12:58

in your industry, that you

13:00

got there because of luck and you won't know

13:03

what to do with that success.

13:06

Now,

13:07

I have

13:09

navigated this

13:11

in different ways around imposter syndrome.

13:14

When I was training with the USA

13:16

national team for a sport called team

13:18

handball, trying to make it to

13:20

the Olympics. Now I've never qualified for the Olympics.

13:23

Our team hasn't qualified for the Olympics but

13:26

I played against Olympians and I remember

13:28

I started handball,

13:31

team handball which is a big sport in Europe, pretty

13:33

much unknown in the US but

13:35

bigger in Europe. I started

13:37

it, I don't know, about 12 years

13:40

ago and I remember

13:43

moving to New York City because I wanted to

13:46

learn from the best team in the country.

13:48

The best amateur club team in the country was

13:50

in New York City at the time

13:52

and I moved there to

13:54

learn from them because they were

13:56

multiple national champions in the US

13:59

a lot of former professionals on

14:01

the team. So I was trying to learn from

14:04

the best. So I went there and I felt like an

14:06

imposter because

14:07

yes, I was a former professional football player

14:09

and yes, I was a two-sport All-American. So I

14:11

knew I was a decent athlete,

14:14

but I never played this sport.

14:16

So I went into a whole new sport against

14:18

professionals and I

14:20

did feel like an imposter at times.

14:23

But after nine months of training, I

14:26

made the USA national team and then

14:28

I went to the Pan-American championships

14:31

in Argentina and Buenos Aires.

14:33

And I remember going there, putting USA

14:35

jersey on my chest and

14:38

kind of being clueless. I still

14:40

didn't really know the game fully.

14:42

I didn't have decades of

14:44

experience like most of the players from

14:47

all these different countries.

14:48

This was the Pan Am championships. So all

14:50

countries from North and South America,

14:53

their national teams are competing

14:55

for about a week of tournament.

14:58

And again, I'm new to the USA national

15:00

team. This is my first tournament.

15:02

I'm new to the sport of handball. So

15:05

I still don't even know the rules. I'm kind of like messing

15:07

up and practice here and there. I still don't know kind

15:09

of like basic stuff, but I was

15:11

a great enough athlete to

15:13

be competitive, to make the team, to

15:15

bring a lot of passion. I'm a tall guy.

15:17

I'm strong, I'm physical, I'm fast, all these

15:20

different things. I had

15:21

raw athleticism to

15:24

bring and a lot of potential. So

15:26

they brought me on the team that quickly because

15:29

I had that potential and I was actually

15:31

good enough. I was good enough to make the team.

15:34

But

15:35

I remember playing in one of the first games

15:38

against Argentina and these guys had

15:40

just gone to the Olympics. They won

15:42

the Pan Am games a couple of years prior to this.

15:45

They were all Olympians and I

15:48

just got schooled. I mean,

15:50

I felt like

15:52

a fool. I got humiliated.

15:54

I got just dominated on

15:56

when I was on the court. They just

15:59

played with me like I was a kindergartner

16:03

on the playground

16:05

or something. They were just like running circles

16:08

around me,

16:09

juking me out, faking me out. I'm

16:11

slipping on myself and falling over. I

16:13

am getting laughed at and I felt

16:16

like an imposter. I was thinking to myself, who

16:18

am I to think I deserve

16:21

to be here? Who am I to be wearing

16:23

USA on my chest playing against Olympians

16:26

after nine months of playing a sport

16:28

that I've never played before?

16:29

Who am I to think

16:32

I should be here? And

16:34

then quickly, I

16:37

had to reassess. I had to reassess

16:40

and say, you know what?

16:41

I do deserve to be here. Maybe I'm not

16:43

at the level of Olympians yet, but

16:46

I was good enough for

16:48

the coaches to bring me on this team, on

16:50

the USA team.

16:52

I'm good enough to get in the game and play strong

16:55

defense. I'm good enough to be

16:57

a supportive teammate. I'm good enough to

17:00

give my best and run around the

17:02

court and run with passion and energy

17:04

and hard work. I'm good enough to get better

17:06

every time and to

17:10

bring positive energy to this team.

17:13

And when I started to tell myself what

17:15

I am capable of doing well

17:17

as opposed to what I'm not capable

17:19

of doing well compared to Olympians who've been

17:21

playing for 20 years and me playing for nine months,

17:24

that's when I put perspective in place.

17:27

And I stopped thinking of myself as an imposter

17:29

and being afraid of success. And

17:31

I just said, how can I learn from every

17:33

moment and give my best?

17:36

Yeah, I'm not at the level of these other

17:38

athletes, but I can be competitive

17:41

with my own teammates and I

17:43

can improve and grow and set goals

17:45

based on where I'm at, not

17:48

based on where everyone

17:50

else is at 20 years more experienced

17:52

than me. And that allowed

17:55

me to drop my guard,

17:58

feel less insecure.

17:59

and know that, hey,

18:02

these other teams, they were better than me

18:04

at this moment.

18:06

And that's okay.

18:07

And it just means I got more work to do.

18:10

I've got to improve. I got to go back to

18:12

practice. And that's what I did over 10 years.

18:15

I improved. I got better. I

18:17

learned the rules more. I learned the sport

18:19

more. With repetitions, you gain confidence.

18:22

Again, you've got to go all in on your fear

18:25

until that fear disappears. And when you

18:27

gain confidence and experience,

18:29

you become less afraid of success.

18:33

So an exercise for you is to think about

18:35

and list out the times you've experienced

18:38

imposter syndrome

18:39

while they're fresh in your mind. For me,

18:42

you know, that was a big one for me. It felt humiliating.

18:45

I felt like I didn't belong, but I

18:47

had to reframe it and just

18:49

know that I was just going to gain more experience, gain

18:52

the reps

18:53

so that I had more confidence the next time, as

18:55

opposed to saying, uh, I don't belong. I'm

18:57

never going to be successful.

18:58

So I'm going to give up and stop playing

19:01

a sport that I love.

19:03

The third fear in the doubt diagram is

19:05

the fear of judgment.

19:08

Now, if I'm honest with you,

19:10

the fear of failure and the fear of success

19:13

wasn't

19:14

my main fears. It wasn't my main

19:17

thing holding me back in life because in sports,

19:20

you learn that failure is a part

19:22

of practice. It's, it's the way

19:24

to become successful.

19:26

So I knew that when I failed,

19:29

it was feedback. It was information

19:32

helping me to improve.

19:34

I didn't take it so personally,

19:36

and I wanted to be successful. I was never really

19:38

afraid of success, but

19:41

that imposter syndrome can creep in at times

19:43

when you feel like, Oh, I'm not, I'm not ready

19:45

for this yet. It's just information

19:47

to help you improve.

19:50

But fear of judgment was the thing that

19:52

I struggled with because it was

19:55

really taking me back to childhood,

19:57

most of my childhood where I

19:59

didn't feel like. like I was enough, where

20:01

I felt picked on, where I felt picked last,

20:04

where I felt like I wasn't smart,

20:06

where my dyslexic, you

20:09

know, experience of struggling reading

20:11

and writing and

20:13

remembering things in school made

20:15

me feel insignificant and

20:17

therefore I doubted myself a lot.

20:20

So the fear of what are other people thinking

20:23

about me has been something

20:25

that I've wrestled with most of my life,

20:28

really until the last 5-10

20:30

years, where I've had to really

20:32

navigate, really heal those

20:35

memories and create new meaning behind

20:37

those memories and start to build

20:40

a self-identity that

20:43

is

20:43

more worthy of my past insecurities

20:46

and fears.

20:49

And so

20:50

this was the one that crippled me because it

20:52

was the thing that made me more defensive, made

20:54

me more emotionally reactive, it

20:56

made me more

21:00

fearful about what people were going to think

21:02

and say about me. So I was always worrying and

21:04

I was always people pleasing and I

21:06

would abandon myself to try to make other

21:08

people happy in relationships

21:11

and career and business and sports and

21:14

that's the thing that got me emotionally

21:16

drained, made me resentful, made

21:18

me frustrated. And then

21:21

emotional energy tied me up from

21:23

having more courage

21:25

and having more energy to create

21:27

what I wanted in my life.

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22:56

The fear of judgment held me back

22:59

in so many different areas, and

23:01

it hurt me

23:02

along the way until I learned

23:04

to truly find the root cause

23:06

of it and learned to heal

23:09

those memories.

23:11

I started to go to therapy many years

23:13

ago. That helped a lot.

23:15

I started to do a lot of workshops. I started to do

23:17

meditation, ice bath training.

23:19

I started to do breathing experiences. All

23:22

these different things allowed me to

23:25

create more harmony and peace and

23:27

not be afraid of judgment.

23:29

And also, I created

23:32

incredible boundaries that aligned

23:34

with my values and my vision.

23:37

Doing these practices and exercise

23:39

and integrating them consistently

23:42

over time

23:42

really has allowed me to worry

23:45

less about the fear of judgment. Now,

23:47

this doesn't mean I don't care what anyone thinks

23:50

about me.

23:51

I do care. I do care what

23:53

people think. I

23:55

wanna be liked in the world. I wanna

23:57

make sure that I'm

23:58

not hurting people intentionally.

23:59

and making sure I'm trying to add

24:02

value and be of service to the world. But

24:04

even by having great intentions and doing

24:07

my best to be the best person I

24:09

can be, there are just going to be people that don't like

24:11

me or that are judgmental or critical, and I

24:13

cannot

24:14

allow those individuals to consume

24:16

my attention, my time,

24:18

and pull me away from my meaningful mission.

24:22

And I really want you to ask yourself, what

24:24

are the invisible chains of judgment

24:27

showing up in your life?

24:28

This is something to reflect on right now. When

24:31

I asked Dan Millman on

24:33

my show, School of Greatness,

24:35

about this, he observed that

24:38

many people feel their identity

24:41

is on the line

24:42

with the opinions of others, and

24:45

even their entire self-worth. So

24:47

imagine if your identity

24:49

is shaped by the opinions of others and

24:51

your self-worth is as well, then

24:53

we are walking

24:56

around reacting to

24:58

people's opinions and trying

25:00

to get them to shift their opinions

25:02

about us constantly. That is an exhausting

25:04

game to play.

25:06

Now, we both agreed

25:08

letting our identity be defined by the opinions

25:10

of others was a massive mistake when

25:12

I was talking to him on the show. But he made the point

25:14

that if we focus more on how we

25:16

can serve others

25:19

rather than what they think of us, like

25:21

how do I look and do they like me? And are

25:24

they talking about me behind my back? And how do I

25:26

sound? And am I interesting to them?

25:28

If we can

25:29

think about how can we serve others,

25:32

we can move past the anxiety about their

25:34

opinions. And this is something that I

25:37

talk about with our team here at Greatness Media.

25:39

I'm always talking about,

25:41

listen, guys, we are in the business of being

25:43

of service,

25:44

creating valuable content,

25:46

creating valuable books and programs, making

25:49

our event about service and thinking how

25:51

can we serve our community? What is it they need?

25:54

And how can we try to do our best to bring the best

25:56

content possible to serve people?

25:59

That's what I think about.

25:59

about when I step in an interview,

26:01

I even ask the guest, what's the best way

26:04

we can serve you today?

26:06

It's trying to do that on every level,

26:08

if possible.

26:09

And in fact, Dan Millman calls

26:12

this the God of opinion.

26:15

And I think he's right about it, it's crazy. We

26:17

might as well create a little idol

26:20

called other people's opinions and

26:23

worship it at an altar because that is

26:25

how so many people live their lives.

26:27

They have an altar

26:29

with a little idol called other

26:31

people's opinions and they worship

26:33

it, all because they need

26:36

the approval of others to define

26:38

their identity. And I get

26:41

it, we are social creatures.

26:44

We need to survive and we

26:46

need other people to like

26:48

us in some extent, so make sure

26:50

we do survive because without social

26:52

connections,

26:54

we will be depressed, we will

26:56

feel unsafe and no one wants

26:58

to be kicked out of their home. So we need

27:00

to have people liking us and we need to have

27:02

great social connections.

27:04

But when we have an idol called other

27:06

people's opinions and then we worship it and

27:08

all we do is try to get the approvals of others,

27:11

it is going to hurt us in the long

27:13

run. So ask yourself,

27:15

how has this fear held

27:17

you back from pursuing your dreams?

27:21

Have you let the opinions of others

27:23

define you so much

27:25

that you've been afraid to take action,

27:27

that you've been afraid to leap,

27:29

to try something different

27:31

to let go of something that you don't wanna

27:33

hold on to anymore, all these different things. Ask

27:35

yourself, how has this fear held you back from pursuing

27:38

your dreams?

27:39

I wanna give you a few tools and exercises

27:41

to overcome your fears because again, I

27:44

believe self-doubt is the killer of dreams.

27:46

You can have all the skills,

27:48

you can have all the talent, all the potential,

27:50

all the intelligence, all the good looks,

27:53

all the great connections.

27:55

You could have been born in the right city. You

27:57

could have been born with parents that have lots of money. You

28:00

could have been born healthy. All these different

28:02

things could happen for you. And this might

28:04

be you right now.

28:05

But if you've led criticism or the opinions

28:08

of others, or the fear of failure, or the

28:10

fear of success, hold you back

28:12

from courageously using your talents and gifts

28:14

to multiply them, to act courageously

28:17

and create something magical and meaningful

28:19

in your life, or just have beautiful

28:22

relationships, or create peace and

28:24

harmony inside of you, then

28:26

you're allowing these

28:28

fears to consume and

28:30

control you. And that is a life

28:32

of regret later down the line.

28:35

So here are some tools and exercises to help you

28:37

overcome these fears. Number one,

28:39

take a moment to take inventory of

28:41

which of these three fears is holding you back the most.

28:43

Again, failure, success, or judgment.

28:46

It could also be a combination of all three, right?

28:48

And that's okay. This is just a moment to assess.

28:51

There's no right or wrong here.

28:53

And we'll walk through four different

28:56

exercises that you can put into practice

28:58

today,

28:59

right now, to start overcoming

29:01

this self-doubt or insecurity you might have.

29:04

It is a process and it won't happen overnight,

29:06

my friend. I'm telling you, it took me a year,

29:09

every single week, going to Toastmasters

29:12

to help me overcome the fear of public speaking.

29:15

And then it was really like 10 years where

29:17

I still felt nervous. And

29:19

I still felt like it was some challenging

29:22

moments to get up on stage. But

29:24

that first initial year was

29:26

a

29:27

massive breakthrough for me.

29:29

And then it got easier over time. So it's

29:31

not like this overnight thing. This stuff

29:33

takes time. The bigger the fear, sometimes the longer

29:36

it takes.

29:37

Here's the first

29:38

tool that you can put into practice or

29:40

an exercise

29:42

of these four. Number one is

29:44

what I like to call rainy day

29:47

letters.

29:48

Now, these are letters that you write to yourself

29:51

that remind you about how much you matter.

29:54

They remind you about the accomplishments you've had in

29:56

your past, the gifts that you do

29:59

have, your talents.

29:59

the things that you're grateful for, the

30:02

contributions you've made to the lives of others

30:04

and more.

30:05

They can take form in a variety of

30:07

ways, but the key here is to be as

30:10

specific as possible with these

30:12

things that you write down

30:14

and for it all to come from a place of

30:17

gratitude. Because

30:18

most of the times

30:19

we diminish ourselves, we're not grateful for

30:21

the things that we've created. And

30:23

when you write these letters, anytime you're going through a stressful

30:26

moment or

30:27

you're feeling anxious or scared,

30:29

take a moment to open up one of these

30:32

letters that you've written to yourself and

30:34

read it out loud.

30:37

Read it out loud so you can hear your voice

30:39

about how beautiful you are, inside

30:42

and out, how talented you are, how gifted

30:44

you are.

30:45

And when you write these letters, you've got to

30:47

write them as if you are the

30:49

biggest cheerleader in your life, as

30:52

if

30:52

you are the hype man of

30:54

your life, like someone that just is

30:57

so excited about you, about

30:59

your success, about your results, about how

31:01

you've overcome hardships and adversities

31:04

and challenges.

31:05

Not the critic that says, well I only

31:07

did this and this and this and comparing yourself

31:09

to others. You are like stepping

31:11

into the

31:12

hype man of

31:14

hype man. You are like the UFC

31:16

announcer who is just singing

31:19

your praises. Introducing

31:22

from Columbus, Ohio,

31:25

Lewis House. Like you are just

31:27

hyping yourself up in these rainy day

31:30

letters to yourself. Now it might

31:32

seem a little weird or silly or whatever,

31:34

but guys I'm telling you I've tried all

31:36

this stuff. I've done all of these exercises

31:39

and all these things over the last 15

31:41

years while I've

31:43

been diving into overcoming self-doubt for

31:45

myself. And they all work. It's

31:48

your intention, your energy behind them to

31:50

support you. Again, anytime

31:52

you're feeling

31:54

down or stressful, anxious or scared,

31:56

open up one of these letters. So write a few letters

31:59

to yourself and do it. this.

32:00

Science supports the concept

32:03

of rainy day notes as well. When I was

32:05

speaking with Dr. Lori Santos, the

32:07

Yale professor and founder of the Happiness

32:10

Lab, she told me there

32:12

are a number of studies that

32:14

link expressing gratitude with the release

32:17

of dopamine and serotonin.

32:19

So do this in a grateful way when

32:21

you write these to yourself.

32:23

The second exercise is from my friend Mel

32:25

Robbins, which is called the five second

32:28

rule.

32:28

Now, Mel said, we

32:31

as humans make decisions based on

32:33

our feelings.

32:35

And that's exactly what's robbing us of joy

32:37

and opportunity. The only way we can

32:39

truly change our lives is with

32:42

one five second decision at a

32:44

time. Whenever you have

32:46

to make an important decision,

32:48

whether that's making a cold call, going to

32:50

the gym,

32:51

or getting up after

32:52

the second alarm goes off when you're in bed,

32:55

Mel says we should all count down

32:57

from five to one

32:59

and then take

33:01

action. I can't keep this in anymore. I can't

33:04

even believe I'm saying this, to be honest. You

33:06

know you can tell me anything. I'm capital

33:09

VFD42 capital Z lowercase m

33:11

underscore lowercase p capital L reverse slash apostrophe

33:13

lowercase r s. I know how you feel.

33:16

Just between us. I am underscore

33:18

comma dash underscore dollars on capital G lowercase

33:21

w comma forward slash dash reverse slash

33:24

No way. I am so glad we had

33:26

this conversation. I know me too.

33:28

Turn on total privacy with end to end encryption.

33:31

WhatsApp message privately.

33:34

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33:36

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your life.

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33:46

Capella.edu. Science

33:50

says this practice works as well

33:53

because there's a five second window between

33:55

an instinct or motivation

33:57

and the hesitation to not act.

33:59

on it. So lean

34:02

into your fear

34:03

until it disappears.

34:06

And again in

34:08

the description of these show notes

34:10

on this podcast

34:11

you can

34:12

go to these episodes that

34:15

will have them all linked up to for each one of these

34:17

exercises so you can learn more about these exercises

34:20

and those full episodes. The third

34:23

exercise is to lean into your fear

34:25

until it disappears.

34:27

Now again I mentioned the story about Toastmasters

34:29

briefly but I was crippled

34:32

by the idea of speaking in public.

34:34

I don't know if any of you have ever had this fear

34:36

of getting in front of a group or at your office

34:39

meeting or something like that

34:40

but I just couldn't do it. I would just not

34:42

do it. I would pass in class. I would

34:44

just say I can't do it. If

34:46

I knew I had to speak I'd find a way to go to the

34:48

bathroom. Like I just

34:50

was so afraid to speak in front of

34:52

people and I

34:55

said to myself no longer do

34:57

I want this fear to run my life.

34:59

So when I was about 24 I joined

35:02

Toastmasters and I went every single week

35:04

and it was miserable. I'm not gonna lie

35:07

this was not fun. It was not enjoyable.

35:09

I dreaded it but I

35:11

got better over time and I started to take

35:13

it less seriously in terms of like how

35:16

much it mattered and how much people cared about

35:18

me. And the more I did it the

35:20

more I enjoyed it. I actually became

35:23

decent at it. I actually enjoyed the

35:26

progress I got and it started

35:28

to feel fun and I'm telling

35:30

you when you go all in on your fear

35:32

until it disappears you

35:34

feel superhuman.

35:37

You feel like you can do anything

35:39

just because you went all in on that one fear

35:42

that was holding you back

35:43

and now you overcame that. You're like what else

35:45

can I overcome? You feel this sense of this

35:48

urge to try on other

35:50

things and it's like this

35:53

superpower you almost feel invisible now

35:56

because you're like wow I took on my biggest fear

35:58

I can do anything

36:01

and I loved that I started doing that with salsa

36:03

dancing it was another massive fear of mine I

36:06

started doing that and it was miserable

36:09

the first month I mean I was just bad

36:11

you

36:11

know this tall white boy trying to be

36:14

in a Latin world essentially and

36:16

I didn't understand the language the music

36:18

the dance the culture it

36:20

was rough but

36:22

then I fell in love with it and

36:24

I got better at it and now I I

36:27

can't wait to listen to salsa music and dance

36:29

and I'm always like this is amazing and it made me feel

36:31

more invincible for other things in my life

36:34

feeling like you can do anything and

36:36

this is sometimes called exposure therapy

36:39

and psychology so again when you

36:41

expose yourself to the thing that you struggle

36:43

with the most

36:44

and you get better at it over time you feel

36:46

like you can do anything the last

36:49

exercise here is the magic

36:51

minimization formula and this

36:54

is on page 112 of the

36:56

greatness mindset the New York Times

36:58

best-selling book that just came out recently called

37:00

the greatness mindset

37:02

make sure you guys grab a copy of that book

37:04

or a few of them so many of you have been

37:06

sharing them out on your Instagram stories and the Twitter

37:09

and LinkedIn about all the great lessons

37:11

you're learning from that so a big thank you if you've already

37:13

bought the book

37:14

you can go to greatness comm slash book right

37:16

now if you want to go get it it's on audible

37:18

as well if you'd rather go download it on audible

37:21

but in this exercise of page 112

37:24

of the greatness mindset

37:25

here's the steps step one is

37:28

to analyze the problem

37:30

so an example could be I'm worried if I

37:32

pursue my true passion then I'll lose

37:34

my job because they won't support me doing

37:36

this outside working hours

37:38

step two would be to accept the

37:41

worst possible outcome

37:43

so in this scenario the worst possible outcome

37:45

is losing your job

37:48

step three is minimizing the problem

37:50

so the example would be I'm worried that

37:53

I will lose my job if I lose my job

37:56

then I know other positions are available

37:58

at a different company

37:59

I can use

37:59

my LinkedIn account to connect with other people

38:02

in my field and if that doesn't work I can connect

38:04

with alumni from my college or people with similar

38:06

passions as me but whatever happens

38:09

I can start to pursue a new job

38:11

maybe even something I want more.

38:15

So again this is

38:17

part of this exercise called the magic

38:19

minimization formula and

38:22

it's essentially taking the scenario

38:24

to the worst case scenario

38:26

but the worst case scenario typically

38:28

is

38:29

something great that could happen

38:31

at the end when you keep going down the path right

38:34

so this is just all an example these

38:36

four different exercises to really support

38:38

you in

38:39

overcoming these fears that you

38:41

might have

38:42

and again I'm

38:43

a big believer that self-doubt is the

38:45

killer of dreams and if we can get to the root

38:47

of it if we can dissect

38:49

it analyze it if we can

38:52

overcome it through taking

38:55

on action consistently through

38:57

exposing yourself and using some of these practices

39:00

and exercises and formulas to support

39:02

you in the fear the crippling fear that

39:04

I felt so many times most of my life

39:07

to help you

39:08

just navigate it one moment one

39:10

step at a time

39:12

I'm telling you on the other side of that is

39:14

magic is beauty

39:16

is peace and most

39:18

of all is freedom

39:21

and there you have it the three fears

39:23

we all face and how to transform

39:25

them into your superpower

39:28

again I want to acknowledge you for investing your

39:30

time your energy and your effort into

39:32

being the best version of yourself and being

39:34

here and as you leave and live

39:36

out the lessons from today's episodes remember

39:39

be kind to yourself you can't face

39:42

all your fears and overcome self-doubt

39:44

in one night it's an ongoing

39:46

process but one that's so worth

39:48

it my hope is that you can use this episode

39:51

as a resource to revisit when you need

39:53

that reminder that self-doubt is

39:55

the greatest obstacle to greatness

39:58

also I want you to consider

40:00

Is it a fear of judgment, failure,

40:02

or success that's stopping you?

40:05

How can you take aligned action

40:07

with your desired goals? And finally, my

40:10

hope is that if you'd like some extra support

40:12

on your journey to a great life, then I encourage

40:15

you to get a copy of my brand

40:17

new book, the New York time bestseller,

40:19

the greatness mindset. It's

40:21

been 10 years in the making and the gift that

40:23

I would give my younger self.

40:25

I believe it is so powerful and

40:28

who knows, maybe even you can give this

40:30

to someone in your life who you see is living

40:32

a good life, but could be living

40:35

also a great life. And

40:37

again, wherever you are, thank you for listening.

40:39

Thank you for watching. Thank you for being here and thank

40:41

you for being you. I

40:43

hope today's episode inspired you on your

40:45

journey towards greatness. Make sure to check

40:48

out the show notes in the description for a rundown

40:50

of today's show with all the important

40:52

links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus

40:54

episodes with me, as well as add

40:57

free listening experience, make sure to subscribe

40:59

to our greatness plus channel on apple

41:02

podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share

41:04

it with a friend over on social media or text

41:06

a friend, leave us a review over on apple

41:08

podcast and let me know what you learned over

41:11

on our social media channels at Lewis house.

41:13

I really love hearing the feedback from you and

41:15

it helps us continue to make the show better. If

41:18

you want more inspiration from our world-class

41:21

guests and content to learn how to improve

41:23

the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up

41:25

for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right

41:27

to your inbox over at greatness.com

41:30

slash newsletter. And if no one has

41:32

told you today, I want to remind you that

41:34

you are loved, you are worthy and

41:37

you matter. And now it's time to go out

41:39

there and do something great.

41:47

I can't keep this in anymore. I can't even

41:49

believe I'm saying this to be honest. You

41:52

know, you can tell me anything. I'm

41:54

capital VFD for two capital Z lowercase

41:56

M underscore lowercase P capital L reverse slash

41:58

apostrophe, lowercase R S.

41:59

I know how you feel. Just between

42:02

us, I am underscore comma

42:04

dash underscore dollar sign capital G lowercase

42:06

w comma forward slash dash reverse slash.

42:09

No way! I am so glad we

42:11

had this conversation. I know, me

42:13

too.

42:14

Turn on total privacy with end-to-end encryption.

42:16

WhatsApp. Message privately.

42:19

Capella University is rethinking higher

42:21

education. With

42:22

their game-changing FlexPath format, you

42:24

can earn your degree on your schedule, so

42:26

you can fit education seamlessly into your

42:29

life.

42:29

Imagine your future differently.

42:32

at capella.edu.