0:19

Welcome to the Shadow and the Light

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podcast with internationally renowned

0:24

meditation teacher , david G and

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heart healer and psychotherapist

0:28

Elizabeth Winkler , as we guide

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you through our unique fusion of ancient

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wisdom and modern psychology

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.

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Get ready to awaken your true

0:38

essence , heal your

0:40

wounds and transform your

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shadow into a light

0:46

, hi , david G .

1:09

Hi , welcome to the Shadow and the Light podcast .

1:11

How you doing .

1:12

I'm doing great .

1:14

So you know I've been having a lot of sessions recently

1:16

. There's something that comes up often

1:19

about getting stuck in patterns

1:22

in your relationship , getting stuck

1:24

in your ego .

1:25

Yeah .

1:26

And maybe we need to talk a little bit about what that is

1:28

. But I have this acronym . You know

1:30

I love acronyms . I don't actually know if

1:32

I've shared this one with you . This is not my own . I

1:34

heard it . I don't know who created it , so

1:37

if you created it , let us know . It's

1:40

Jed J E D .

1:42

If I created it , I would have called it Jed I

1:44

, since I'm such a star wars junkie .

1:46

We'll come up with the I so

1:48

, jed , is justify , explain

1:51

and defend . When

1:54

we justify , we explain and defend

1:57

, we are empowering

1:59

our egoic place and

2:01

it keeps us very stuck . And

2:04

in relational conversation

2:06

we are often challenged

2:09

by this and we are justifying , explaining

2:11

or defending our position , which does

2:14

not allow us to hear or

2:16

open up to new pathways

2:18

.

2:18

As Peba Chodron would say I'm channeling

2:21

one of her quotes the truth you believe and cling

2:23

to makes you unavailable

2:25

to hear anything new .

2:28

So justify , explain , defend . So

2:30

I just thought it would be a nice thing to talk

2:32

about with people , because we all do this

2:34

.

2:34

Okay , I've got one more . I've got the I Insist

2:36

.

2:37

Oh , yes , I love it .

2:39

It's Jed I . Here we are , beam

2:41

in the Mandalorian right now . How cool

2:43

is that ? Jed I ? Justify

2:45

, explain , defend , insist

2:48

. Yeah , you thought it was Jed

2:50

. It's freaking Jed I and it's ours

2:52

now . Yeah , yeah , I

2:55

love it .

2:56

Okay so , but you never insist . Only

3:00

one , nor do I Two

3:03

type A's letting go of our type

3:05

Anus .

3:05

You must call it Jed I .

3:09

But anyway , so you know , this is something when

3:11

I'm working with couples and I work with a lot of couples I

3:13

help people uncouple . I

3:15

help people who are considering

3:18

a couple come back together

3:20

as well , and this is

3:22

something we use as a stabilizer . It's

3:24

not like you can't do that , but be a aware

3:26

when you're holding on to justifying , explaining

3:29

and defending .

3:30

Well , why would we feel the need

3:32

to what's going on internally

3:34

when we feel that need to

3:36

?

3:37

People feel unheard , people

3:39

feel unseen , people

3:41

feel misunderstood time

3:44

and time again , and so they have to re-explain

3:47

, they have to justify , explain , defend

3:49

their position or what they see

3:51

you as doing , which goes back to conversations

3:54

you and I have had before about how I'm

3:56

having a relationship with an idea

3:58

, more than a reality , of allowing

4:00

this person to be something fresh and new .

4:03

Could you just slow that down and say that again , because that's the mic drop

4:05

line .

4:07

We are having relationships with

4:09

an idea , with people

4:11

in our lives , we are filling in the blanks

4:13

. We are not allowing

4:15

people to be fresh and new , because everything

4:18

is that , including yourself

4:20

. It's like you can't step in the

4:22

same river twice . You yourself

4:24

are a river , everything is a river . We

4:27

walk into relationships and

4:29

we reference who we think

4:31

that person is or who they

4:33

have been , and it doesn't allow

4:35

anything to be fresh and new . This is how

4:38

the brain works . This

4:40

is not always easy . This is why mindfulness

4:42

is something we all can

4:45

hopefully be working

4:47

on . Mindfulness and equanimity

4:49

are the two pieces

4:51

to allowing things to be fresh

4:53

and new in our lives . This does

4:55

not just apply to other people , it's also

4:58

to yourself . How are you applying

5:00

this to yourself ? How are you working

5:02

with mindfulness ? How are you working with equanimity

5:04

? Meditation helps .

5:06

And this concept of equanimity . It's not really

5:08

well understood . We can talk about it

5:10

a little bit right here . It's one of the most

5:12

important aspects that

5:14

we can live our lives sort

5:17

of like in our back pocket or just using it

5:19

as an important tool . Equanimity

5:21

is something that we can aspire to . We would

5:24

call it having an evenness

5:26

, an even thread

5:28

that just rolls through us a

5:30

little bit , because we're going to have all these

5:32

highs and lows emotional highs and lows , and

5:34

experiential highs and lows , and moments

5:36

that we have no control over highs and lows

5:38

coming into us and it's

5:41

all about what are we doing with

5:43

that rising and falling , with the twists and turns

5:45

, all the stuff that's going on externally

5:48

that we receive and then feel

5:50

we have to do something with . Equanimity

5:53

allows us to receive the universe

5:55

more easily and more gracefully

5:58

and perhaps maybe there's a

6:00

millisecond , just like this little

6:02

hiccup of space

6:05

, where we can respond

6:07

just a little more thoughtfully

6:10

, perhaps just a little more mindfully

6:12

, and that will allow

6:14

us to maybe , maybe , make

6:17

a better decision in that moment . And that

6:19

is the key and that is the challenge . How

6:21

many times have we said , oh

6:24

, I wish I had thought through

6:26

that sentence before I blurted

6:28

it out , or I wish I had just

6:30

eased back a little bit and made a

6:33

more conscious choice . And we're not

6:35

usually saying I wish I could make a more conscious choice

6:37

. We're just saying I could have

6:39

made a better decision , or I

6:41

didn't think that one through , or I

6:44

didn't think of the consequences of

6:46

that particular action . These could be huge

6:48

decisions that we make . This could be

6:50

I'll go through the yellow light , I'll

6:53

have the affair , no one will get hurt

6:55

, I'll not call that person back

6:57

. We can go down the list of in the hundreds

6:59

of thousands of those

7:01

moments where we're at a crossroads , a mini

7:03

crossroads or a giant crossroads , and

7:06

then suddenly we have to realize oh , if

7:09

I've just been able to have a breath

7:11

in there might have made a better decision

7:13

. It's one of

7:15

the most important and beautiful

7:17

characteristics that we can cultivate

7:19

, and it doesn't mean you're beige

7:21

, it doesn't mean that you're just neutral

7:23

on everything . It means

7:26

that you're measured . Chapter

7:29

2 , verse 48 of the Bhagavad Gita

7:31

, which says Yogastakuru Karmani

7:33

, establish yourself in the present moment

7:35

and then perform action . That's

7:38

what we're doing . We're giving ourselves

7:40

the chance to just get

7:43

into that Yogastak , that peaceful

7:45

place , that more thoughtful place

7:48

, and then show up as our best version

7:50

. So I believe that equanimity is really

7:52

the super ingredient that

7:54

can make our lives so much

7:56

happier and fulfilling .

7:58

Absolutely Meditation , obviously working

8:01

with the sensations of your feelings

8:03

and your body , which is something I do a lot with clients

8:05

, starting to get to know if

8:07

anyone's feeling anything at this moment , bringing

8:10

awareness . What are you noticing ? Where do

8:12

you notice that in your body ? If you're noticing the expansion

8:14

and contraction of breath , just

8:16

noticing that , not judging it

8:18

, noticing that's equanimity

8:21

of just noticing the weather in the sky

8:23

. I often talk about the emotional nature

8:25

of things is like weather . If

8:28

there's thunder , lightning or hurricane

8:30

, it doesn't hurt the sky . The sky is

8:32

the quantumus , it is untouched

8:35

, is unbroken , just like the

8:37

anahata , is that ? But my favorite

8:39

line I gave this book to you

8:41

a long time ago the Third

8:43

Zim Patriarch , the

8:45

opening line of the Third Zim Patriarch

8:48

, I think , is talking all about equanimity

8:50

, which just the first line . The

8:53

Great Way is not difficult for

8:56

those not attached to

8:58

preferences . The Great

9:00

Way is not difficult for those not

9:02

attached to preferences Because

9:05

people misunderstand . They think , well , I can't have a preference

9:08

. It's not about that , it's about attachment

9:10

, it's all about attachment , which is

9:12

what the Gita is talking about as well . If

9:15

you are attached to it , how easily can

9:17

you let go and flow with what is and

9:20

when we are unjustified , explained and defend

9:22

. We are

9:24

very attached to the way we look

9:26

at something and it needs to be that

9:28

particular way and we are not open

9:30

to joining

9:32

, becoming in union with the present moment

9:35

or what the other person has to offer

9:37

.

9:37

Yeah , Well

9:39

, your Jedi methodology , which

9:41

I'm a part of now , your

9:44

Jedi methodology , really

9:46

speaks to the most ancient

9:48

teachings that we are aware of

9:50

, because originally equanimity

9:53

was can you be so measured

9:55

that you are immune to

9:57

the eight worldly winds

10:00

? And so we know that the Buddha talked

10:02

about this , so we know that this teaching is at least 2600

10:05

years old . Those eight worldly winds

10:07

, we all know them . These are our triggers

10:09

in life Gain and loss . And what are we

10:11

doing with that ? How are we showing up

10:13

with that ? Pleasure

10:15

and pain , praise

10:18

and blame , and

10:21

fame and disrepute

10:23

, those are those eight

10:26

worldly winds that sweep into all of our

10:28

lives . These are universal . Everyone

10:30

is touched by them . And if we can

10:33

cultivate a little equanimity , that

10:35

when gain comes into us , we

10:38

will respond to it with grace . When

10:40

loss comes into us , we will

10:42

respond to it with

10:44

strength . When pleasure

10:46

comes into us , we will

10:49

not get euphoric and

10:51

insane over it , but

10:53

that will allow it to really wash into

10:55

us and strengthen us for offering

10:58

that pleasure to other people . When pain

11:00

comes into us , we won't go down

11:02

that rabbit hole of pain and suffering

11:05

and oh , poor me isms

11:07

. When praise comes into us

11:09

, we take it with humility as

11:12

opposed to . Well , of course I'm entitled to

11:14

that . How come there's not more ? And

11:16

when blame comes into us , again

11:18

, this goes back to the D and

11:21

perhaps the I in Jedi . But

11:23

we won't be like no , no , no , no , you don't get it

11:25

. I'm defending , I'm insisting . And

11:28

when fame comes into us , we

11:30

use it to help others . And

11:33

when lack of fame or disrepute

11:36

or infamy comes into

11:38

us , we use it as

11:40

an opportunity , as

11:43

a teacher , to make better

11:45

choices and step into our power . So

11:47

equanimity is that path that

11:49

allows us to spin these eight

11:51

worldly wins without being buffeted

11:53

about , but instead to recognize

11:56

them and use them and channel

11:58

them to be better expressions of

12:00

our self and support other people in the process

12:02

.

12:03

I have a mantra for this .

12:04

Yes .

12:04

A lemonade mantra yes , maybe

12:06

, maybe not , because judgment

12:08

is always what's standing in the way of us

12:10

being in equanimity . In my opinion

12:12

, there's many things , but judgment is a big piece

12:15

of it and our mind loves to judge . It's just natural

12:17

. Yeah , so , maybe , maybe

12:19

not . There's that story about the

12:21

monk , maybe , maybe Is that so that

12:23

story , or there's

12:25

also the other story of the monk with the sweaty palms . Both of those

12:27

stories , a couple of monk stories .

12:29

Tell me the sweaty palms . Sweaty palms , monk .

12:32

It's . Eckhart totally talked about it in a new earth

12:34

. He was talking about this monk who had been meditating

12:36

I forget how many years I'd have to pull it up but

12:38

he knew he had not

12:41

reached his Samadhi

12:43

or his level of enlightenment

12:45

because his hands were still sweaty

12:47

when he was doing some sort

12:49

of and so he said I've got to go back into the forest

12:51

. That was his teacher In

12:54

that moment . Was his sweating palms that he was nervous

12:56

, fearful , or whatever that was . We don't really

12:58

know . There's again pretty sure . I have

13:00

no idea . So to practice , if anyone's

13:03

feeling challenged by these Jedi

13:05

patternings of judgment

13:08

, being judgmental , explaining

13:10

, defending , insisting practice

13:13

, maybe , maybe not , that has been

13:15

a mantra that I have offered

13:18

and I use all the

13:20

time , and it really

13:22

keeps you open to new possibilities .

13:25

Love that Sweaty , maybe

13:27

not . Yes

13:33

, it's one of the most powerful

13:35

things that we could say , because

13:37

, going back 2000 years to , potentially

13:40

, when he talks about the second

13:42

Sutra explaining what yoga is

13:44

, yoga , citta vratin nirora , oneness

13:46

, is the progressive quieting of the fluctuations of

13:48

the mind . And the third sutra , tara

13:51

drastu swaruppe

13:53

avastanam , which

13:55

means , and then the

13:57

seer abides in

14:00

its true nature , which is pure , unbounded

14:02

consciousness . And then the next

14:04

sutra he says other times there

14:06

are modifications of the mind . So he's saying , yeah

14:09

, yeah , yeah , your true nature is pure , unbounded consciousness

14:11

. But guess what ? Here you are in

14:13

this tangible real world with bills

14:15

to pay and traffic lights to stop at and

14:18

relationships and all this other stuff . And

14:21

so he says the five modifications of the mind

14:23

that prevent you from abiding

14:25

in your true nature are correct

14:29

cognition , which is I'm

14:31

right Let me continue

14:33

my diatribe on being right Incorrect

14:36

cognition , I think I'm right , but I'm actually

14:38

not . The past

14:40

memory , he calls memory , but

14:43

we call it the past . Imagination

14:45

. He calls it imagination , we call

14:47

it the future . And

14:50

sleep , which includes dreams . But

14:52

I love the fact that he's not saying , oh

14:54

, it's some delusional thing , even

14:57

right cognition , even being

14:59

insistent , I'm

15:01

so right that I need to justify

15:03

, explain it , defend it , and I insist

15:05

that I'm right . Righteousness that

15:08

has moved you so far away from

15:11

abiding in your true nature , which is

15:13

pure , unbounded consciousness . So it's

15:15

not just , oh , you're going to be led from

15:17

the path by wrong thinking

15:20

. It's also right thinking that you will

15:22

be led from the path . It's your insistence

15:24

on any aspect of

15:26

you being right . I'm not a trustee , I'm

15:29

a trustee . I'm not a trustee . I'm not

15:31

a trustee . Love

15:33

that .

15:34

Wow , I found the story

15:36

. If you want me to read it , yes please . Sweaty

15:39

Palm story . Cassan , a Zen

15:41

teacher and monk , was

15:43

to officiate at a funeral of a

15:45

famous nobleman . As he stood

15:47

there waiting for the governor of the province and the other

15:49

lords and ladies to arrive , he noticed that the palms

15:52

of his hands were sweaty . The

15:54

next day he called his disciples together and

15:56

confessed he was not ready to be a true teacher

15:58

. He explained to them that he still

16:00

lacked the sameness of bearing , which

16:02

is equanimity before all

16:05

beings . He lacked the sameness of

16:07

bearing before all beings , whether beggar

16:09

or king .

16:10

This is exactly it .

16:11

He was still unable to look through social

16:13

roles and conceptual identities

16:16

and see the sameness of being in every human

16:18

. He then left , became

16:20

the pupil of another master , returned

16:23

to his former disciples eight years later

16:25

, enlightened .

16:26

And with drier palms .

16:30

That was his teacher . People come to

16:32

me . I'm anxious , I'm panicked

16:35

. Whatever it may be , I

16:38

want to help them create safety around

16:40

that and then allow that shadow to

16:42

be the doorway to their expansion

16:44

of life .

16:46

Imagine this the eight-worldly winds are not

16:48

just it's my fame and

16:50

or my disrepute , it's

16:53

even the funeral that I'm overseeing

16:56

. Is this an invisible person

16:58

or a person highly visible ? And

17:00

so that's so great , because those

17:02

eight-worldly winds aren't just touching you

17:04

in your own ego in a minute , they're

17:07

touching that world that we're walking through in every

17:09

moment .

17:10

We often think of this as the

17:12

fear . We're always talking about fear

17:15

like what makes me anxious or worried or

17:17

what am I ashamed of . It's

17:19

also as in this story with the monk

17:21

, it's that which I revere

17:23

oh , if I were

17:25

around this famous person or whatever . That is

17:27

just as much of a projection , something

17:30

that we're not able to integrate or own within

17:32

ourselves . That's the light . So

17:34

some people's shadow is

17:36

actually called a light shadow . Some

17:39

people identify more as a dark person

17:42

to use the words like dark or light

17:44

like a shadow persona . So

17:46

their shadow within themselves

17:49

is a lighter one

17:51

, and so they often find

17:53

that in people that they revere . So

17:55

when you do a projection exercise which I do

17:57

with people often it's a writing exercise

17:59

where you can look at not only people that

18:02

piss you off or disgust

18:04

you , which will show you a darker shadow , but

18:06

the light shadow or the people that you're like oh

18:08

my god , they're so amazing , I can never be like that . You

18:11

know , like , oh my god , I would die if I met them

18:13

. You know , sort of thing , the sweaty

18:15

palms .

18:16

Well , think about this though how intense

18:18

is this In this kind of environment

18:20

? This guy was

18:22

having more reverence

18:24

for a dead famous

18:27

person than for

18:29

an alive , less famous person

18:32

. If you think about perspectives of

18:34

life or of existence , to have

18:36

such reverence for the dead

18:38

queen , even overshadowing

18:41

this live person

18:43

who's distinctly not a queen or royalty Next

18:45

to you . Where's our attention going ? What's

18:48

our perspective ? And this comes back

18:50

to Jedi philosophy Can

18:53

we live in equanimity

18:55

and really that just means can we

18:57

take a breath between each moment ? Can we

18:59

cultivate the space between ? Can

19:01

we allow whatever's coming into us just

19:03

to rest in this beautiful space just

19:06

for a beat , before

19:09

we then think , speak

19:11

or act ?

19:13

Well , a way to bring this into the real world . You're

19:15

in the Starbucks line or you're in some line wherever

19:17

you are right . Do you have the equanimity

19:20

of mind to treat the

19:22

person in front of you , the person behind

19:24

you , the person that you're ordering from

19:26

, in the same equanimous

19:28

manner that you would to the place that you're

19:30

going to ? Or is this a waiting period

19:33

of your life ? If you're in traffic

19:35

, how are you interacting

19:37

with the cars around you or someone is going

19:39

too slow ? This is where we can start to see

19:42

, in the little places of

19:44

our life where we're kind of feel like we're

19:46

passing through , how

19:48

are we treating those areas ? It really

19:50

kind of bubbles up a lot in those areas

19:52

, and those are wonderful moments of teaching , to

19:54

just note not judging yourself , but

19:57

just noting these areas where

19:59

we put people in roles , to

20:02

let go of that and to allow

20:04

yourself to be more connected .

20:06

Well , it certainly speaks to

20:09

the titles and labels that

20:11

we're all applying to ourselves and

20:13

others . Probably every one

20:15

of us here has been in a room

20:18

or hanging out with someone who

20:20

we thought for some reason maybe

20:22

a good reason but we thought that these people

20:24

were better than us . Then

20:27

we created a whole story

20:29

of all of our interactions with

20:31

this person on an elevated level

20:34

and us on a lower level for

20:36

that interaction . And then

20:38

it stuck that we

20:40

have that story embedded into us

20:43

for the rest of our lives . But when we look at

20:45

someone you can't see it . But my hands are ones

20:47

higher than the other . And then suddenly

20:49

it's like , oh yeah , that's

20:51

who I am . This person is distinctly

20:53

above me . It's not an Amaste mindset

20:55

, but I'm living it .

20:57

Tatvamasi .

20:58

Right , tatvamasi , it's one

21:00

of the Mahavaki . Is Thou art

21:02

that , whatever you're pointing at , it actually

21:04

is you ?

21:05

As a practice for anyone who's challenged by that

21:08

. You could imagine , let's

21:10

say , you're in a room . You're feeling that

21:12

distinction , that separation

21:15

, you're feeling that different

21:17

level . You're at a lower level

21:19

or a higher level . That's something that you feel like

21:21

you're stuck in and maybe some people listening

21:23

to this feel like , well , how do I get out of that ? We can use

21:25

breath , we can anchor

21:27

back into the present moment in some form or

21:30

fashion . We can use mantra Maybe

21:32

, maybe not . I can handle this . But also connecting

21:34

to that child

21:37

within yourself and the other person we

21:40

all were once those innocent

21:42

children and remembering

21:44

that true nature , that child

21:46

presence , I think is also

21:48

a helpful practice

21:50

to bring in .

21:53

So important , so critical , and

21:56

the question is is a lot of these teachings

21:58

, how do we keep them more organized

22:00

? How do I know ? This

22:02

happens in my teacher training all the time . Someone

22:04

says wait a second , is that the three Agnes

22:07

? Or is that the four agreements ? Or is that the five

22:09

remembrances ? Or is that the six Paramitas

22:12

? Or is that the seven spiritual laws ? Or is that

22:14

the eight Noble Path , or is that the eight

22:16

limbs of yoga ? We can go on and on

22:18

. It can be overwhelming , and I love

22:20

one of the things about this podcast is we distill

22:22

it all down . We give you that tool

22:25

to use in the moment . So , elizabeth

22:27

, we're walking through the world . These are all

22:29

opportunities for us to step into

22:31

our power and own

22:33

our impact . These are all opportunities

22:35

for us to take a breath . I

22:38

love the various breathing techniques and

22:41

I believe in this journey from

22:43

moving from state right

22:46

. State is the experience that we're having . If

22:48

you just close your eyes right now and took a long , slow

22:50

, deep breath in and

22:54

let that go , that's a state

22:58

. How do

23:00

we move from state to

23:02

trait Trait ? Is

23:04

that being embedded in us all the

23:06

time ? I believe , you and I and the hundreds

23:09

of thousands of people that have shared meditation

23:11

with that over the years , over the

23:13

decades . It's a trait of ours

23:16

. It's not a state when

23:18

we're doing it . It feels blissful or it feels calming or

23:20

it feels tranquil and certainly

23:23

we're approximating some type of state , state

23:26

of mind , state of being . But

23:28

then suddenly , if you do it enough , you

23:30

show up and live it , it becomes

23:32

an actual trait , and so

23:34

now it's not a title or a label

23:37

, it's actually who I

23:39

am , at my core . I receive

23:41

the world coming into me a little

23:43

bit more in slow motion , and I

23:45

believe everyone here if you

23:47

show up proactively and have

23:49

some kind of present moment practice

23:52

, we can actually turn a state

23:54

into a trait and we can embed

23:56

that state so consistently

23:59

the law of spaced repetition

24:01

until it becomes us . I'm

24:03

from New York , shot out of a cannon

24:05

Type A , take

24:07

no prisoners , sharp elbows

24:09

, and that was reinforced throughout

24:12

my childhood , and so I think it's a nature-nurture

24:14

combo , pure DNA

24:17

mixed with reinforcement of that

24:19

, and I have been

24:21

on a very , very clear and consistent

24:23

journey over many , many years

24:25

to unlearn a whole bunch of stuff

24:27

that was conditioned into me , perhaps

24:30

even in my DNA , and again

24:32

we'll talk about this in our Ancestral Healing

24:34

episode on our podcast . This has

24:36

made the powerful shift because I'll find

24:38

myself in some kind of

24:40

mindset that's not really

24:42

nourishing , not representative of

24:45

who I want to be . I don't want to be that . I

24:47

don't want to have these thoughts . I don't want

24:49

to be thinking about revenge and

24:51

I don't want to be thinking like I'll show them

24:54

and I don't want to be thinking they're wrong

24:56

. Let me show them that they're

24:58

wrong . I don't want to be that and

25:00

that used to be the most important thing in

25:02

virtually every interaction that I had through

25:05

a process and it's a journey . I don't think

25:07

there's a finish line involved in this , but

25:09

at a certain point , those states

25:11

of mind , those states of being

25:13

, actually become , have become

25:16

a more accurate representation

25:18

of who I am . The states have become

25:20

traits and I think everybody listing

25:22

right now you can also , if you want to

25:24

go that route , there's probably other aspects

25:27

of you that you would . I don't want to be that anymore

25:29

, where that doesn't really serve me or

25:31

that's not the best expression of me , and

25:33

if we can be aware what the opposite

25:35

of that is and how we can

25:37

cultivate that , whether that's

25:40

being a liar or being impatient

25:42

or being rude or seeking

25:44

revenge or trying to be right . All those

25:46

things , that's all just training

25:48

. All that stuff is just so , so overrated

25:51

and we can seize

25:53

it and own it and really move into

25:55

these other expressions , these better expressions

25:57

of ourselves .

25:58

Yeah , absolutely . And the thing is , you cannot

26:00

shift anything that you're not aware of

26:02

, right ? So you have to first bring your awareness

26:04

to it . So so many

26:06

of our shadows are just that

26:09

, they're unconscious . So

26:11

, whatever's disturbing you

26:13

in your life , maybe it's not in you , maybe

26:15

there's a lot of unconsciousness around what

26:17

it is that you want to shift . Well

26:19

, look at what you don't like in others . There's your

26:22

doorway , because what you don't like in others is

26:24

something that you've denied within yourself

26:26

.

26:27

Right , what's that journey ? Look like to

26:29

what you can't stand in

26:32

others and then translate that

26:34

into you and then making

26:37

that shift . I just don't want to be that

26:39

anymore . We all have the power . So

26:42

think about right now if you could change one thing

26:44

about your personality or one thing about your

26:46

tendencies , or one aspect

26:49

of yourself that other people may have

26:51

commented , and you finish the sentence . Whatever

26:53

that is , whatever

26:56

it is , you can powerfully

26:58

shift it , and

27:01

it's being by being . The bag gets full . You

27:03

can , one day at a time , one

27:05

meditation at a time , one breath at

27:07

a time , shift your

27:09

life from where you are to where you'd like

27:11

to be .

27:12

And also shifting your judgment around

27:14

it . So often we're judging or shaming

27:17

it , and this is not about not

27:19

having it . It's about our equanimity

27:21

with this aspect of our being , because

27:24

we have the whole

27:26

spectrum of humanity within ourselves . Right

27:28

, yeah , it's when we judge it or shame

27:30

it that we actually are

27:33

prisoners to it . So

27:35

we do have jealousy , we do have all

27:37

of these aspects from love and to hate

27:39

within us . We are multi-dimensional

27:43

beings , but the more that we can bring awareness

27:45

to them and by

27:48

going there , we have more compassion

27:50

for ourselves and others . Yeah , it's

27:52

when we deny it in ourselves that we actually

27:54

become more of a problem , a

27:57

more of a continuing energy of

27:59

it .

28:02

So if there's just one thing that

28:05

someone could take away and perhaps

28:07

take that very , very first step

28:09

, what is it ?

28:10

I would say doubt . But it's so

28:12

interesting because doubt can

28:14

be so debilitating and at the same

28:16

time , when I've really let myself

28:18

go there , it's been a true gift Because

28:21

it's the doorway to not knowing . When

28:25

I allow doubt to

28:27

not just go be insidious

28:29

in my mind , doubting this , and

28:32

I just say I'm

28:34

pretty sure , I have no idea , I don't know , and

28:36

then I release it from my mind

28:38

and get more present , then

28:41

I can take that step , that trust , into

28:43

that uncertain space .

28:44

So you're not talking about second guessing

28:46

some big decision you've just made .

28:48

No , but I have no , it will start there . It

28:51

will start there . It'll be doubt about anything

28:53

, and so Did

28:55

I do the right thing . Anything

28:57

. Anything Doubt about myself , doubt

29:00

about how I'm working with something

29:02

, how I'm being in a relationship

29:05

to others , or myself Anything

29:08

, and so I can be very

29:10

insidious . Or then I can of

29:12

course , you need to inquire into this , but it can

29:14

become such a rabbit

29:17

hole that you get lost in . I think

29:19

that when you can allow these things to

29:21

really sit with them , I think that we run

29:24

from doubt , we run from

29:26

boredom , and when we can

29:28

give space to it and

29:31

go beyond it , there's often

29:33

a lot of wisdom .

29:35

Well , I think , because societally , biblically

29:38

, these are loser traits , the

29:41

winner says I know right , that's

29:43

the thing . If you want to be the winner , if you want to

29:45

be the thriver , you can't

29:47

second guess , you can't have a moment of

29:49

like . I'm pretty sure , I don't know

29:51

, you can't have maybe , maybe

29:53

not Right .

29:55

But through experience , certainty .

29:57

Everybody knows someone who's been

29:59

wrong , but they say it

30:01

with such certainty that

30:03

we followed them off the cliff Right

30:06

. They were like no , no , here's the

30:08

answer . Everyone . They were so certain

30:10

and it was so obviously wrong . We

30:13

listen to them . We've done it socially

30:15

. We did a lot of it during the pandemic . We did

30:17

a lot of it politically . We've done

30:19

it a lot , probably in our family structure as

30:22

well . There was a friend I had . He was always

30:24

so sure of himself and

30:26

wrong and we were like , okay

30:29

, let's do it . They got into so much trouble

30:31

as a teenager listening to this

30:33

person because they were so sure of themselves

30:35

. But I think your lemonade card maybe

30:38

, maybe not should be such

30:40

a powerful and important tool

30:42

in everyone's back pocket

30:44

. Because , even if we are clear

30:47

on , here's the path

30:49

, the process

30:51

of crystallizing that

30:54

and the process of taking

30:56

the next step , first step maybe

30:58

you go , I don't have a clue , but

31:00

I'm gonna take this step , and then we decide

31:02

how does it feel ? How does that

31:04

feel ? Does it feel good or not ?

31:06

Yeah , you got to . You get to discover through your

31:08

own experience , because we're all exploring

31:10

and we're all growing and evolving

31:12

, hopefully right , Taking that

31:15

step into uncertainty , and it's

31:17

a scary thing to do , but

31:19

through the experience of it we

31:21

come to know something deeper

31:23

within ourselves and discover

31:26

something beyond what we've known

31:28

before .

31:29

Wow , wow , so intense

31:32

, Elizabeth . Thank you so

31:34

much . My name

31:36

is David G . I'm here with Elizabeth Winkler

31:38

, the alchemical , transformational

31:41

goddess of healing , and

31:43

this is the Shadow and the Light Podcast

31:47

. Join us for our next episode and

31:49

allow Jamar Rogers , the

31:51

magnificent Jamar Rogers , to guide

31:54

us out .

32:16

If it's here to remove all my fears

32:18

and to bring new sides , the

32:24

light . If

32:26

it's hard , then we'll go to the deep to

32:29

take me to new heights . The

32:34

Shadow and the Light . There's no fucking

32:36

problem . You hold it

32:38

at your own limit , but don't

32:40

rush past this moment . The

32:43

darkness can become a brand . Now

32:46

we'll come by your side and you shine

32:48

brighter than a million signs A

32:52

million signs you went through every hour in

32:54

the Light . If

32:57

it's here to remove all your fears and

32:59

to bring new sides , the

33:02

Light , the

33:05

Light . If

33:07

it's hard , then we'll go to the deep to

33:09

take you to new heights

33:12

. The Shadow

33:14

and the Light . There's no

33:17

fucking problem . You

33:19

hold it at your own limit , but don't rush

33:21

past this moment . The darkness can become

33:24

a brand . Now we'll come

33:26

by your side and you shine brighter than a

33:28

million signs . A million signs you went

33:30

through every hour in the Light . If

33:33

it's here to remove all your fears

33:38

and to bring new lights , the

33:40

Light , the Light

33:43

. If

33:48

it's hard , then we'll go to the deep to take us to new heights

33:50

. The

33:55

Shadow and the Light .