0:21

Welcome to the Shadow and the Light

0:23

podcast with internationally renowned

0:25

meditation teacher , davidji and

0:28

heart healer and psychotherapist

0:30

Elizabeth Winkler , as we guide

0:32

you through our unique fusion of ancient

0:34

wisdom and modern psychology

0:37

.

0:37

Get ready to awaken your true

0:39

essence , heal your

0:41

wounds and transform your

0:43

shadow into a

0:47

new world .

0:48

Hi , davidji . Oh , hello there

0:50

, Elizabeth .

1:12

Welcome to the Shadow and the Light

1:14

. I am Elizabeth Winkler

1:16

and I'm here with davidji and with and

1:19

Somyr , our producer

1:21

, and today we want to talk

1:23

to you a little bit about intention

1:26

and attention . So

1:28

pause and just

1:31

notice what brought you here . Why did

1:33

you hit play ? And if you

1:35

feel like you just showed up , I

1:37

invite you to connect to

1:40

an intention , a

1:42

seed that you feel

1:44

called towards , something that

1:46

brought you to sit and

1:49

reflect and be open

1:51

to a new way of being . David

1:55

G .

1:55

Yeah , it rests at the core of everything

1:58

that we do . It's like chicken

2:00

egg kind of thing Is your attention

2:03

coming first , or

2:05

is the intention bringing your

2:07

attention onto something

2:10

else ? And so everything

2:12

in life is about attention . Where's

2:15

your attention and what is the intention

2:17

you bring to this moment

2:20

? And these are powerful

2:22

awareness tools that allow

2:24

you to just roll back , step

2:27

back a little bit , deescalate the

2:29

moment , drink in the larger

2:31

picture so that you can suddenly

2:33

have greater clarity of

2:36

what each moment is as it unfolds

2:38

. I consider this the number

2:41

one tool and technique

2:43

to eliminate drama in

2:45

your life . I consider this a powerful

2:48

anti-anxiety tool

2:51

, and this is a biologically

2:54

, chemically , hormonally

2:57

stress alleviator . And

2:59

so , attention and

3:02

intention . Now , of course , we have deeper understandings

3:05

about intention . When it comes to what's

3:07

my intention in this moment , if

3:09

we go back to the Brihara Njaka

3:11

Upanishads , book

3:13

four , chapter four , verse five

3:16

, you are your deepest

3:18

driving desire . As is your desire

3:20

, so is your will . As is your will , so is your deed . As

3:22

is your deed , so is your destiny

3:25

. So your desire can unfold

3:27

to be your destiny

3:30

. So what's your intention

3:32

? Why don't we go deep right now ? Don't

3:34

close your eyes if you're driving or if you're chopping

3:37

in the kitchen or if you're operating a

3:39

snow cat , but otherwise , take

3:43

a deep breath in and ask yourself

3:45

, maybe place your hand on your heart what

3:47

is the intention

3:49

that I want to unfold in the

3:51

next moment ? What is the step

3:53

, the real world action step

3:55

that I can take that will

3:57

bring me just a little bit closer to

3:59

the fulfillment of my dreams and

4:02

desires ? Or what

4:04

is the state of mind or state of being

4:07

that you'd like to inhabit right now

4:09

, at a little bit of a higher

4:11

level , to maybe level up , to

4:13

embrace your better expression

4:16

or your best expression right now

4:18

?

4:19

Connect to a vibration and energy

4:21

that is good for all beings

4:23

, such as love , forgiveness

4:26

, gratitude , courage

4:29

, presence , light

4:31

, forgiveness . When

4:34

we connect at the level of that

4:36

vibrational

4:39

energy , the

4:41

universe wants to

4:44

lift that up . The

4:47

universe is behind you . So

4:50

connect to that vibration . See

4:53

it like a seed , an acorn

4:55

that creates that oak tree

4:57

. But it can only do

4:59

that if it's in the right soil

5:01

, and that is

5:04

where your attention comes

5:06

in this is brilliant .

5:07

This is brilliant because we know inside , every

5:09

acorn is the fully manifested

5:12

oak tree . But if

5:14

it just lays on

5:17

a rock on the side of a cliff , we

5:19

know an oak tree is not going to be grown

5:21

. And so this is

5:23

that deepest , deepest question what's

5:26

your soil ? Because even the

5:29

most random seed that just

5:31

happens to blow into really

5:33

fertile soil will sprout and

5:35

grow , and so we will

5:37

have a higher level

5:39

of personal expansion , evolution

5:42

, manifesting our dreams and desires , moving

5:44

us closer to the fulfillment of

5:47

what we seek in this life , if we

5:49

create the fertile garden within

5:51

. If the answer

5:53

to what do you want is how

5:56

can I show up ? As my best , I

5:59

used to have my whole list of all that stuff

6:01

. I was taught by my teachers how to

6:03

manifest stuff . You know what do you want ? Want to

6:05

Tesla in the driveway ? Want to pile of

6:07

money ? Want some fame ? Want a new suit

6:09

? Put it out there , write it down and manifest

6:11

that . It was years , years

6:14

later where I suddenly realized , oh

6:16

, it's not all that stuff

6:18

that I really want , it's

6:21

who am I . How

6:23

shall I show up ? So , no matter

6:25

what comes to me , whether

6:28

it's that thing that I thought I wanted or

6:30

whether it's an unexpected guest

6:32

, not what I necessarily

6:35

wanted . Instead , who

6:38

am I ? Who's gonna show up in

6:40

that moment ? Who will be the receiver

6:43

of whatever uncertain

6:45

moment is delivered to me

6:47

so powerful

6:49

, so important ?

6:51

Non-resistance , right , right

6:53

, greeting that pain , that

6:55

fear , that unexpected

6:57

fall with grace

7:00

.

7:01

Yeah , so attention and intention

7:03

, resistance and acceptance

7:06

. It's almost like they're cousins , they

7:08

have this sweet little relationship with

7:11

each other because everything starts

7:13

with attention and then we can go

7:15

back to the ancient teachings of the Buddha . You know , when

7:17

you talk about the Noble Eightfold Path , which first

7:19

begins with right view

7:21

, right outlook , we could say

7:23

right attention , and

7:25

then flows into right intention

7:28

, and then into right speech , and then into right action , right

7:31

livelihood , etc . But attention

7:33

first is the fractal . That's

7:36

the starting point . They've even done this

7:38

powerful scientific analysis

7:40

that sound waves

7:42

react differently when

7:45

they're looked at . What do they call it ? The observer

7:47

effect . The observer effect . Imagine . So

7:50

if you pay no attention , they do one thing , but if you pay attention , they

7:52

do another thing , and it's like wait , we're

7:54

talking about particles or waves . How's that even possible

7:56

? Everything is all about attention . It's

7:59

one of our core needs as well

8:01

. Maslow talks about it . Elizabeth and I

8:03

have talked about this as part of the four needs

8:05

of the heart Attention , affection

8:07

, appreciation and acceptance . Attention

8:10

then flows into intention . Think

8:13

about all the things in your life that

8:15

you have your attention on that

8:18

are not going to lead you to the fulfillment

8:20

of your intentions or your dreams and desires

8:23

. All the weeds , oh my God

8:25

. Think about that . It's perfect analogy

8:27

. Yes , all those weeds , all

8:30

those weeds in the garden . You tend

8:32

the soil , you nourish the soil , you water

8:35

the soil . There's a component

8:37

that has nothing to do with you , which is the sun coming

8:39

down onto that soil . So

8:41

you have to like be in the right place

8:43

as well . This

8:45

is how we take our lives to

8:48

the next level , and if you're resisting

8:50

anything along the way , you're

8:52

going to block that energy , you're going to throttle

8:55

that energy down , which is why

8:57

acceptance is so important , because

8:59

what will visit you today , what

9:01

will be delivered to you today

9:03

, right .

9:05

So if you're hearing this and you're feeling like

9:07

you have a garden full of weeds

9:09

, welcome , welcome

9:11

to the planet , welcome to being

9:13

a human . We all have

9:15

them and it's not about judging that

9:18

or shaming yourself or feeling guilty

9:20

about the fact that you've paid a lot of

9:22

attention to maybe some things

9:24

that happened a long time ago , so

9:26

that's created a lot of weeds

9:28

or a dark place in the garden

9:31

that you're in , or a dry garden . It's

9:33

okay . We need to

9:35

accept that , accept what is

9:38

, and we can cut it all

9:40

at the root . I used to work a lot with

9:42

children . I created a mindfulness

9:44

practice and took it to Africa

9:46

, and when I did that , I

9:49

would talk to children about

9:51

attention . Like this I would say hocus

9:54

, hocus , where's your focus

9:56

? Because it's easy to remember . Kids

9:58

know about hocus pocus , so they'd be like , oh , and

10:01

I'd have a little magic wand , but

10:03

your attention is like that . So if

10:05

you're feeling bogged down

10:08

or like you're deep in the weeds , hocus

10:11

pocus , where's your focus ? Remember

10:14

to refocus right . And davidji

10:17

, you were the one that taught me . We have 60

10:19

to 80,000 thoughts a day . You know

10:21

, I often say let your thoughts be drops of

10:23

water , but what we tend to do is

10:26

we don't allow that . So I attend

10:28

to a thought about someone

10:31

not calling me or whatever

10:33

it is . Whatever the thought is , I attend to that

10:35

drop of water and it quickly

10:38

becomes a thought stream , and

10:40

then a river , and then an ocean

10:42

of pain , of suffering

10:44

, of worry , of anxiety , and then we're drowning

10:47

in that . So once we notice

10:49

that we're drowning in some ocean of

10:51

disturbance , we

10:54

can come back into your body

10:56

. You come back into the present moment and

10:58

then you can connect to intention

11:01

right and you can put your attention

11:03

on something else and shift

11:05

everything . Now , do we do this

11:07

perfectly ? Absolutely not . Are you going to go back

11:09

into the ocean ? Yes , but you

11:12

can work with your attention

11:14

and intention every day

11:16

and start to create new

11:18

pathways , new ways that you're

11:20

rerouting that water so

11:23

that you can become more present , more embodied

11:25

and more effective

11:28

with your awareness so great

11:30

.

11:30

The ancient teachings tell us that there

11:32

are these things called clasias , also

11:35

known as blockages or poisons

11:37

, that prevent us from

11:39

being our best expression , and

11:41

two of them are attachment and

11:43

aversion . Think about that stuff

11:46

that we cling to and , even

11:49

though there are signs

11:51

that we should not be holding so tight

11:53

, we don't let go . Not

11:56

a fear , desperation , ignorance

11:58

, familiarity . We all

12:00

been in a relationship not really

12:02

nourishing to us , but we hold

12:04

on to the familiar , unsettling

12:07

, rather than an unfamiliar

12:10

potential bliss . But

12:12

aversion is another one of these . Think

12:15

of all the things we scurry

12:17

away from , not

12:19

that we're attached to , but that we have

12:21

an aversion to People's

12:25

politics , people's belief systems , certain

12:27

colors , clothing , music

12:30

, all the stuff that we resist , resist

12:32

, resist . And so

12:34

we have this beautiful

12:36

energetic flow where

12:40

we are simultaneously accepting

12:42

and resisting , accepting

12:44

and resisting , and

12:46

it's easy to get very , very

12:49

attached to both of those

12:51

attached to the things I resist

12:53

and attached to the things I'm attached

12:55

to . I'm not going to loosen my

12:57

grip on whatever this thing is

12:59

, and this is why

13:02

, when your heart's been broken , the

13:05

last thing you want to do is risk someone

13:09

else coming in there to break it again

13:11

, and that's why we oftentimes

13:14

block our heart from anything

13:16

else getting in there , make sure

13:18

that we have a lead casing on

13:20

it so nothing can touch it again . I

13:23

definitely won't love again , but I definitely won't

13:25

be hurt again . You

13:28

know , it seems to me the most

13:30

obvious one . We're

13:33

so protective and that's

13:35

why we become bitter If we

13:37

think about it . If I block my heart

13:39

for a decade and

13:42

don't let anyone in , don't allow

13:45

myself to accept anything

13:48

new , chances are no

13:51

one's ever getting in there , ever . And

13:54

so we can take these really really

13:56

powerful steps incrementally

13:58

, just being

14:00

by being day by day , breath by breath

14:03

, meditation by meditation , moment

14:05

of acceptance by

14:07

moment of acceptance , to

14:10

help us get back into

14:13

our hearts and into love and into

14:15

acceptance . Do you have a special

14:17

technique that you like for that ? I'm looking

14:19

at one of your lemon slices right

14:22

here , your lemon mantras . That

14:24

says I can handle this . So

14:26

walk us through that practice .

14:28

I can handle this as the most powerful

14:30

and the most of all of the mantras

14:32

, because it keeps you present with what is so your

14:34

activation , the lead heart . The

14:37

lead heart is still a

14:39

present experience of a lot of

14:41

pain someone's holding on to . They're

14:43

not escaping their pain , they're actually carrying it

14:46

with them . They're experiencing more pain

14:48

than they would if they let that go .

14:49

It's almost like taking your agony and putting

14:51

it in this beautiful blue little Tiffany

14:53

box and wrapping it up and

14:56

making sure that as you travel

14:58

through life , you're always carefully

15:00

holding this beautiful little box

15:02

. And as you're climbing mountains , you're

15:04

holding this little box . And as someone's

15:06

talking to you , you're holding this little box

15:09

.

15:09

And as you're going to sleep at night , you're

15:11

making sure that no one's touching your beautiful

15:13

little box , but every single person is knocking

15:16

at it and every single person is pissing

15:18

you off . You feel constantly

15:20

attacked and constantly

15:23

insecure and fearful

15:25

of dropping it or people taking

15:27

it , because it's just fear

15:30

and so it's not a life

15:32

working so hard to protect my grievance

15:34

. Right . So what can

15:36

you do ? First , accept

15:39

we all everyone in this room

15:41

and everyone listening have things they

15:43

have not fully let go , just

15:45

part of being a human being . So

15:47

, whatever that may be that you're aware of

15:49

or that you aren't , you can simply

15:51

place your hand on your heart and

15:53

be open to that . Give your heart

15:56

permission to open in

15:58

ways it hasn't before , because we've

16:00

made contracts with our heart , whether

16:03

we realize it or not , at a certain point in time , where

16:05

we said close , it's not safe . So

16:09

it's imperative that you give

16:12

permission for yourself to open

16:14

, for your heart to open , for your mind to

16:16

open . And then , if you do have

16:18

activation at any point in time , right now

16:20

or as you move through your day or evening

16:23

, whenever that activation happens

16:25

someone cuts you off in traffic , someone

16:27

doesn't call you back , whatever it is

16:29

, I can handle this If

16:31

you stay with , I can handle this , especially

16:35

when you feel you cannot handle it

16:37

. Whenever I say I can't , I say

16:39

as soon as I hear myself saying it , I'm like just

16:41

kidding , I can , I can , I can , I can

16:43

. I keep saying I can until

16:46

I can get present , because as

16:48

soon as I get into , no , I

16:50

can't handle it . I have closed that lead

16:52

door on my heart and I

16:54

have run to my mind and said fix

16:57

it for me . And your mind

16:59

is all fear based . At that point

17:01

in time , you have lost control

17:03

of any trust of any

17:05

new opportunity and you are only going

17:07

to reference the past and you're going to get the same

17:10

cycle over and over again

17:12

. So if you want more of the same , more

17:14

pain of the past , then

17:16

you can do that , but I don't think you do so

17:18

. You move out of the mind . I'm

17:20

fine with it , maybe , maybe not . Out of

17:23

the mind is another , another mantra . And

17:25

come back to the heart . I can handle

17:27

this , I can handle this . I can handle this

17:29

and breathe and allow

17:31

your heart to open and allow

17:33

yourself to feel your feet , find

17:35

ways to connect to the present

17:38

moment , feel your hands touching

17:40

something , feel your feet , feel

17:42

the sensation of your back on the chair

17:45

, get present , anchor yourself

17:47

into the present moment and then

17:49

all you need to focus on is what's happening

17:51

right here , right now and

17:55

a step at a time .

17:57

So intense .

18:00

So simple yeah .

18:02

So , as we reflect on these four concepts

18:04

attention , intention , acceptance

18:07

, resistance which

18:10

is the thing that resonates with you most right

18:12

now , which is the thing that

18:14

you are struggling with most

18:16

right now ? These

18:18

are like the four watch words

18:21

to allow us to flow

18:23

through the world with greater grace and ease , and

18:26

yet sometimes we get so distracted

18:28

. These are the four

18:31

characteristics inside of us

18:33

that if we become more

18:35

aware of them , they will be

18:37

our greatest teachers . So

18:40

can . When you step into a moment and you're

18:42

feeling triggered or angry

18:44

, or pissed off or annoyed

18:47

, can you step back and

18:49

say in this moment , what

18:51

am I resisting ? What

18:54

am I resisting ? Some of us don't like certain

18:56

foods , some of us don't like certain vibes

18:59

, some of us really love a crowded and

19:01

bustling place , and some of us that's

19:03

too overwhelming . Some of us love the ocean

19:05

, some of us love the mountains . We're so multi-dimensional

19:08

that we all get to be attracted to

19:10

certain things . So I

19:13

would like to bring us back to those

19:15

four needs of the heart attention , affection

19:17

, appreciation and acceptance

19:21

which are four core needs

19:23

of every human on the planet . And

19:25

when you find yourself in resistance

19:28

mode or in

19:30

sadness mode or whatever

19:32

that feels like to you where you're just not

19:34

in flow . You could ask yourself in

19:37

this moment what

19:39

need is not being fulfilled . Is

19:41

it attention , is it affection

19:44

, is it appreciation

19:46

or is it acceptance

19:49

? And if you can't get these externally

19:51

because we're so externally

19:53

driven , this is where , as Elizabeth

19:56

said , we go inside and

19:58

meet these needs internally

20:00

.

20:02

The way out is in every single time

20:04

. You know , if you're looking outside you're going to

20:06

maybe get that fix for

20:09

this moment , but then you're going to need it again , and that's

20:11

what creates these codependent relationships

20:14

that so many of us are in . It's like

20:16

, oh well , that worked , but guess what ? It

20:18

probably won't work next time . And then you become

20:20

really needy in your

20:22

life .

20:23

So you told me once how great I was

20:25

, but you didn't tell me 15 minutes

20:27

later , or you didn't tell me this afternoon , or you didn't

20:29

tell me tomorrow . And now I'm like all

20:31

I'm doing is praying for the moment

20:34

that that gets delivered to me

20:36

.

20:37

The thing is that person is just opening your heart , which

20:39

is something that's natural inside of you . They

20:42

aren't opening your heart . You've let go

20:44

of a resistance inside of you . You

20:47

are the one that holds the keys to that . Why

20:49

aren't you giving that to yourself every

20:51

moment of the day ? You're the only one

20:54

that can do it .

20:54

Right , and that's why the famous Rumi quote

20:57

14th century Sufi poet

20:59

Rumi your task is not

21:01

to seek love , but instead to seek

21:03

and find all the barriers

21:06

you have built between love

21:08

and your heart .

21:10

Exactly so . This is the thing Anyone

21:12

who's bringing up a barrier . They're

21:15

guides , they are gurus , they

21:17

are the way to the

21:20

shadow and the light . That's why

21:22

this podcast is all about those

21:25

people that bring shadow or

21:27

difficulty or challenge or experiences

21:30

. That's where you are

21:32

able to grow . If you don't like the busy

21:34

room and you're in a busy experience , guess what you

21:36

get ? To learn how to be in a busy , loud room . That's

21:39

what you get to learn in that moment . You get to expand your

21:41

awareness in that moment If you choose

21:43

to , or you can complain about it and you don't get to

21:45

grow Right

21:48

. So we have an option to always

21:50

allow ourselves to expand

21:52

beyond what we were a

21:55

moment before , and so anytime

21:57

you're challenged , remember that you have a choice

21:59

.

22:00

Right , Elizabeth . You are the person who created

22:03

the amazing phrase which

22:05

is now repeated all over the globe constantly

22:08

who knows ? Probably 10 million

22:10

times , just over the duration of this podcast

22:12

. But the wound is the way

22:15

, and if you are a follower

22:17

of the Mandalorian , like I am , this

22:20

is the way . So it reinforces

22:22

Elizabeth Winkler's amazing

22:24

and insightful comment the

22:27

only way beyond

22:29

is through . It's like

22:31

the Joseph Campbell line the cave

22:33

you fear to enter holds the

22:35

treasure you seek . Bottom

22:38

line , it's waiting for you

22:40

. Can you trust ?

22:43

All you need to do is accept A

22:45

that you're here and

22:47

move forward a

22:50

step at a time . And if you need help

22:52

, there's nothing wrong with that . For

22:55

my help acronym actually

22:57

I got it for Michael Beckwith Hello

23:00

eternal loving presence . So

23:02

if you feel like you can't

23:05

do this alone and you happen to be alone

23:07

, you can simply use that call

23:09

for help . Hello , eternal

23:11

loving presence . Hello

23:13

, eternal loving presence . As a

23:15

invocation of

23:17

connecting to another

23:20

vibration that's bigger than you

23:23

. A lot of my clients , when

23:25

they feel like I can't handle it , I

23:27

don't feel like I have enough to sustain

23:30

myself , calling in

23:32

an energy a teacher , someone

23:34

who represents unconditional love

23:36

. It could be a grandmother , it could be

23:38

Mother Teresa , it could be anyone , or

23:41

it could just be that call to hello

23:43

eternal loving presence . We

23:46

already are that , but we don't always know

23:48

that .

23:49

Yeah , so powerful . And I was thinking about this other

23:51

acronym that you use regarding fear

23:53

. I've always seen fear as

23:56

false evidence appearing

23:58

real , but you have taken that even

24:00

deeper with your fear acronym .

24:03

Friend existing as resistance . So

24:05

we're talking about resistance . How do we turn

24:07

towards the resistance ? So

24:09

if the resistance is like the Hoover Dam , you

24:11

know that holds a lot of energy and that's

24:13

how it is . That's your

24:15

healing . It's a healing

24:18

Hoover Dam . So when you can

24:20

see that your resistance is like

24:22

a hand reaching up from your heart telling

24:24

you , hey , you've got resistance in your body , so

24:27

pay attention to it , it's a friend

24:29

existing as resistance , letting you know

24:31

that there's resistance here . So if you can

24:33

take your attention and

24:36

move it down to where that is , where

24:38

is it in my body ? Not why

24:40

am I experiencing this ? Let's get into it . Where

24:43

is it , bring your attention to it , breathe

24:46

into it , accept

24:49

it , let's feel heal . Then

24:51

that dam starts to open and

24:53

then that energy transmutes from

24:56

, maybe , darkness to light . It

24:59

shifts and it flows in a new way , a

25:01

new direction .

25:03

So great . Thank you so much for sharing that

25:05

. You've been listening to the

25:07

Shadow and the Light podcast

25:10

. My name is David G , my

25:12

co-hosts Elizabeth Winkler , and

25:15

on the board running our

25:17

production , the Amazing Summer

25:19

Perry . If you've enjoyed this episode

25:22

, please like it , share

25:24

it , tell everyone you know about

25:26

it . We're going to continue to heal

25:29

the planet , one breath at a time

25:31

, one heart at a time

25:33

, and the wound is the way

25:35

. Guiding us out is

25:37

our fave , the magnificent

25:39

Jamar Rogers

25:41

.

26:05

The light , the

26:09

light , the light . If

26:12

it's not , then we'll go to the deep to

26:14

take me to the light

26:17

, the shadow

26:19

and the light . There's no fog and

26:21

crop at all . You hold it

26:23

at your own will , but don't

26:26

brush past this moment . The

26:28

darkness can become a brand . Love

26:31

will come by your side and

26:33

you shine brighter than a million

26:35

suns a million suns . You

26:38

went through hell , but now we're in

26:40

the light

26:42

. It is clear , to remove all your fears and

26:44

to bring new sides . The

26:50

light , the light , the light . If

26:53

it's not , then we'll go to the deep to take

26:55

you to the light

26:57

, the shadow

27:00

and the light has come because

27:02

it loves us . The

27:06

light has come to

27:08

set us free . The

27:11

shadow come because it loves us

27:13

. The

27:16

shadow come to set us free . The

27:21

light

27:23

is here to remove our tears

27:25

and to bring new light . The

27:28

light , the light . If

27:34

it's not , then we'll go to the deep to

27:36

take us to new light . The

27:40

shadow and the light

27:42

.