0:00

This is from Ivy. She sent us an email

0:02

and the subject of the email was, sorry,

0:04

Ryland. My girlfriend

0:06

and her cousin seem to think that my

0:09

shirt is another dress situation.

0:12

No. I blacked out with rage. Can you explain

0:14

one more time?

0:15

Hi Ken. Hi Ken. Hi Ken.

0:18

Hi Ken. Hi Ken. Hi Ken. Hi

0:20

Ken. Hi Ken.

0:22

Hi Ken. Hi Ken. Hi Ken.

0:24

What up? We

0:28

are doing the Barbie episode, which was supposed to be

0:30

the Halloween episode, but all the costumes

0:32

came late. So now it's the early

0:34

Thanksgiving episode. And

0:37

I'm thankful for seeing Jared in this. Oh

0:39

yeah. Just living the American

0:42

dream. Oh my

0:44

God. Wow. That was

0:46

incredible. I'm not sure that you've ever looked better on this podcast.

0:49

I've been looking for a new look for

0:51

like 30 years now. I

0:54

think I

0:54

could settle, I could evolve into this. This

0:56

could be something I'm comfortable going out and publicing.

0:59

And also you can't wear this and be lazy. No.

1:02

Like this isn't just sit in the couch type shade. This is

1:04

some hustling type outfit tree.

1:06

Taking over the world. I like it, it's motivating.

1:09

Yeah, what would you say Chris's look is? Ooh.

1:12

Like a waiter at a fun

1:14

slushy, slushy, like in

1:17

a kai bowl. He looks like he's

1:19

starving in Good Burger too. I

1:21

feel like I'm the guy who like, rollerblades the food

1:23

out to you at like,

1:24

What was it? Like

1:26

Sonic? Sonic. You've been in the

1:28

80s. Yeah. Wait,

1:31

what am I? For some reason this

1:33

like fits weirdly. Like

1:35

you look good. Like somehow

1:37

you make this look good. Wow, okay, that feels really

1:40

good except for I wish it was coming from someone else.

1:42

Oh please. Oh, cause I'm Barbie, not

1:45

your husband. Well that's who. I know

1:47

it's just my world and you're all living in it. Sorry,

1:49

I've gone like nutso because I'm

1:51

breathing. Okay. I like

1:53

breathe. Okay,

1:54

we're gonna talk, there has definitely been a leak in

1:56

Barbie's dream house. There

1:58

was a literal gas leak. That started right before

2:01

we started filming the show and the guy is on

2:03

his way So at some point we're gonna have to take a break. He

2:05

said it's safe that we're sitting in here breathing He

2:07

was throwing out a it's not gonna kill

2:09

you vibe Saying

2:16

the things that I'm feeling cuz I know I'm a hypercon

2:18

I know I'm just making myself feeling I'm like I'm

2:20

burning and sweating and I'm about to pass out with that

2:22

for sure all in my time

2:25

is You You'd

2:28

be fun you Google the symptoms

2:30

of breathing in too much gas You

2:33

guys are pretty much on par with what

2:35

it was talking about But

2:38

but okay, but here's the thing this

2:40

might we just might be in a lower Stage

2:43

of exposure right now. There's certain

2:45

things I'm really looking for to know if we're in

2:47

a bad spot Okay, if you guys do

2:50

a few different types of things and I see it

2:52

we got it. We got it leave I feel like it's

2:55

already altering my speech. That's not

2:57

one of I'm not worried. I'm not worried about

2:59

that About

3:01

that at all The

3:04

one I'm most concerned about is body.

3:06

Oh I'm

3:08

serious though. Can you if you take a deep

3:11

breath? It's all I can smell well that

3:13

also might be the gas leak but there's also

3:15

a segment later involving some questionable

3:18

foods and I think it's that So

3:24

I wanted to do something kind of fun now. I'm getting

3:27

blurry vision. I'm just reading into it I'm

3:29

about you're good. I'm not concerned about

3:31

that. Okay. Thank you Dr.

3:35

All I don't know that I'm trusting it

3:37

the way you're looking me this morning. No,

3:40

this is This is literally what

3:42

I assume the better help doctors look In

3:46

the mojo-dojo Mojo-dojo

3:49

costa house. Okay. What was I gonna say? Oh

3:51

right giveaway? Okay, so I have what? What

3:54

a giveaway? Yeah. Hi

3:56

Barbie Not for you

3:58

though. Okay So I'm so

4:00

excited. I wanted to think of a giveaway because I was like, I've never

4:02

done I don't think we've ever done a giveaway. Are you allowed to

4:05

do a giveaway? Well, we're not gonna do it on YouTube We're doing

4:07

it on Instagram because I

4:09

don't know the rules. So here's my thought I

4:11

was like, what should I give away? What would be fun? I was like, oh I

4:13

should give away like a pair of these headphones

4:15

we could all sign them But then I'm like nobody wants these shitty Okay,

4:19

I don't know who makes these we love them. So I

4:21

have here a pair of white

4:24

air pod Mac Oh

4:31

sexy But then I'm like, well, we're not gonna sign

4:33

the actual headphones because like you guys don't

4:35

want that for everyone They don't want to be on a plane with like

4:37

signatures from us. Yeah, it's a little too much So

4:40

then I got these silicone covers that you can put on

4:42

the headphones so I thought we could find those Nice.

4:45

I'm gonna throw a Sharpie and the cover and we're

4:47

just gonna sign something. And how do they win this? Oh,

4:49

so all you have to do is go to the Shane

4:51

Dawson podcast Instagram and there'll

4:53

be a picture there Involving these and just

4:55

give it a like and give it a comment saying your favorite

4:58

part of the show or no Your

5:00

favorite. I don't know your favorite episode.

5:02

Oh and follow the Instagram. Yeah

5:05

your favorite shit Yeah,

5:11

maybe like your best Ken pun. Ooh,

5:14

okay. I kind of took up a lot

5:16

of the ear Wow You

5:20

deserve though that whole thing the

5:22

three of us will have the other ear yeah your

5:24

it's kind of degrading No, it's called the shade Dawson punch You're

5:28

everybody Well, I

5:30

mean that's the precedent you sent taking up the whole

5:33

earlobe. Yeah acting

5:35

like Barbie That

5:37

is kind of Barbie Ken stole the movie and wants

5:39

to be my brother Ironic because that movie was

5:41

all about Barbie and women and Barbie But then the

5:44

only thing people talk about that movie was can and he you know It's

5:46

a shit out of me and I like Ryan Gosling

5:48

But everyone's like can't get get and

5:50

give get a spin-off. I was like Ken was fucking annoying.

5:52

Okay, you're really channeling Barbie right now It's

5:56

scary I just feel like Margot Robbie did not get

5:58

enough credit for the movie. This is Really

6:00

bad segue because we're talking about Margot Robbie and women

6:02

and women's rights and now we're going right into something

6:05

that is disgusting Arguably

6:07

the second best way to segue. Thank you

6:10

the undershoot the worst way, right?

6:12

So that was solid dude, so I was watching

6:14

this show and something happened that caught my

6:16

attention So there was a show

6:18

about high school and there was a girl and she was known

6:21

in the high school Forgiving a guy

6:23

a bunk in a what a blowjob

6:25

while he was taking a shit I Know

6:32

about that since I was young how I don't

6:34

know how I think it was one of the first things

6:36

I learned that was Like weird as far as you've

6:38

been requesting blump. What is it? It's

6:41

when a girl gives you head while you're sitting on the toilet taking

6:43

a shit. So you're sitting up We're gonna try it later. You're

6:46

sitting on the toilet for me no

6:48

me Absolutely not

6:50

with those smell nothing different gonna go I've

6:53

never wanted to be here last sitting on a toilet, right

6:55

legs are Fly

6:59

forward you stick it's more of a walk.

7:01

It's what I'm plopping it in the toilet, right?

7:04

Right is a plop I

7:10

didn't know it was about the release. Yes double

7:12

release mechanism. Whoa the judge

7:15

station we might need Yeah, people actually do blump

7:17

kids. I always assumed it was like a joke thing I

7:20

mean, no, apparently we're not sexually

7:22

adventurous based on what these people who called

7:24

this show Well, I googled it and

7:26

it's very much a thing blumpkins are Yeah,

7:31

blumpkins are real I sound very sexually

7:33

shameful Yeah, the

7:35

pumpkin community Coming

7:39

out. Oh my god, you're welcome. Oh

7:41

shit Yeah, okay So then it

7:43

got me thinking we all have these stories from our high schools

7:45

where it's like all the kid that was known For this or the kid that was known

7:47

for that most likely it was all rumors

7:49

and it wasn't even real See you just got one

7:52

conversation starter because we all have that kid. So

7:54

Chris you go first Whoa, you just triggered a memory.

7:57

Yeah, there was a girl at my school and she was

7:59

so nice and I don't know actually

8:02

I don't know if it's true or not but she was known

8:04

around school for taking a hot

8:06

dog that like was defrosting

8:09

while there were people at her place and

8:11

like putting it in her vagina and

8:14

like people called her hot dog girl that's

8:16

the kind of sausage party I'm trying to

8:18

get into is there something nice

8:20

about us frozen in your vagina I don't

8:23

know I mean people

8:27

are so mean to her and like you gotta

8:29

try to spin those things when you're in it well

8:31

imagine that wasn't true at all just own it

8:34

you know like you're like

8:36

you guys don't stick frozen hot dogs if you're

8:38

putting turn into a trend yeah

8:41

and it's like if you rock it confidently that

8:43

every other girl's like maybe she's on my thing

8:45

I'm not being her being like it's in right

8:47

now and then the guys are like yeah

8:50

then she could also just brag and be

8:52

like yeah that's why guys want to date me you fucking

8:54

loser I'm getting hard man I can't

8:57

say it

9:00

would turn me on if a girl is all I can

9:02

sometimes I think I have frozen sausage

9:04

it's not about that it's about how she spins

9:07

it to gain popularity instead of shame

9:09

hot dogs are like easily breakable though

9:11

isn't she worried frozen baby but another

9:14

thing I assumed was just like a joke I assume

9:16

no one really was doing this right but I don't

9:18

know okay

9:20

so that was something from your high school Wow Jared

9:23

that is wild doesn't mean like that starts

9:25

oh man I don't know if I was even cool

9:28

enough to know about anything like that I'm not

9:30

cool enough you know it was really just about

9:32

people being loose you know it wasn't

9:35

like anything necessarily I could remember

9:37

about a person but I don't

9:40

really remember any rumors about people okay

9:43

we had a lot okay so I had three different people

9:45

that I'm thinking of the first and these are different

9:47

categories really because I feel like there's a lot of these in different

9:49

high schools the first category was the girl that

9:51

fucked the teachers so it's like

9:54

oh she's fucking the teachers and my friend

9:56

kind of what oh my

9:58

god and then he gave or something. Why?

10:01

Hopefully you're at least an A. What?

10:03

No! No! Oh

10:06

my god! A acting

10:07

grade minimal. No! That

10:10

was like really good. That was good, Ken.

10:12

Wow, keep it up. Second person was

10:15

the girl who stank. She was the smelly girl. I

10:17

mean, that wouldn't be a rumor. You wouldn't smell her. Well,

10:20

the rumor was, oh, she fucking uses tuna,

10:22

deodorant, she fucking never showers. I

10:24

think she honestly just had like a disease or something.

10:26

Cause like she really stank. And I was her like only

10:29

friend. She was a queen, I loved her. Why

10:31

didn't you just be like, hey girl. Finally somebody

10:33

told her and it was literally, this is the saddest

10:35

thing ever. This is so traumatic for her. I hope she's not watching.

10:38

So we were sitting in class and our

10:40

teacher walked over and whispered in her ear, she

10:43

looks like sad. She gets up and goes to the office.

10:45

They made her shower at school because

10:47

I guess her parents weren't making her shower. The

10:49

teacher had stank really bad. It was devastating.

10:52

I like cried. I cried. Cause I was like

10:54

kind of friends with the teacher and she was like giving me the tea. And I

10:56

was just like, girl, what? I was

10:59

so weird that you were like, I was the one fucking with you. No,

11:02

every during lunch, I would go in, I was that kid, like

11:05

the sad fat kid. And I would go into the teacher's class and

11:07

we would just like, kick, kick. And

11:09

I still hang out with my teacher. I know, she's in the

11:11

house. I love her. Okay, the third

11:14

person, the third kid was the kid who throws up

11:16

all the time. That's not a rumor. He just did it like on command.

11:18

Whoa, on command. Yeah, I got

11:21

one. What? I got one. I

11:24

knew a kid and maybe I've talked about this

11:26

before but he could suck

11:29

air in his butt and fart it out on

11:31

command. Yeah, what? His

11:34

butt need to be exposed. How?

11:37

So it was like gym show. No, I just, I

11:39

walked into the room and they were doing it. It

11:42

was three of us having a sleepover

11:44

at his house. And he was just on

11:46

all fours. And you can

11:48

hear it though. And

11:51

then it's just blowing out furious.

11:53

Sorry about being loose. Yeah. All

11:57

right. We did

11:59

it. Is he gay now? No,

12:02

it didn't stink. It didn't have any like substance

12:04

to it. Because it's so quick in and out. And no

12:06

leftovers. Is he gay? It

12:09

was an interesting situation to be around, you know?

12:11

Right. How is that possible?

12:14

It is. I've seen videos of it. There's like a video- there's

12:16

a website of girls who do that. They suck up

12:18

air in their ass and then they fart it out and they go, Ooh,

12:21

that was a sharp one. And because it's educational,

12:23

it's allowed on YouTube. Yes. Dude, do you remember

12:26

cake farts? Yes. Know what

12:28

I liked the most? I'm

12:30

about to fart on this cake. Cake

12:32

fart? What? And then she sits

12:34

on the cake and then she lifts her asshole

12:36

open. Ooh. What? I

12:39

take flaps. The whole thing was when the internet was good.

12:41

Cake farts was so ahead of its time, Dad.

12:44

Revolution. Two girls, one cup, shit, so

12:46

that cake works. Oh my God. Wait,

12:48

wait. So that cake fart

12:51

is- I think the gas is getting to me. Yeah, do you

12:53

have a cake? Yeah. Are you

12:55

gonna do it? Are you gonna fart on that cake? I was just thinking

12:57

about it. Okay, we'll do that later. We'll do

12:59

it when we do our blumpkin. You'll be like,

13:02

can you smell this gas? Is this the gas

13:04

man? Um, okay. I

13:07

want the- sorry, I want the gas man

13:09

to have to come in here. Can you imagine if we interview

13:11

him? I'd like him to have to

13:14

see us. I'd be like, this is what's happening.

13:16

He'll probably think he's hallucinating. He'll

13:19

be like, what the fuck is this? He'll be like,

13:21

this is what you guys do for a living. Okay,

13:25

did you have a kid in school? Uh, probably,

13:27

but you know my memory. I can't remember the TV show

13:29

I watched last week and this gas isn't helping. Okay, right.

13:32

Let me think about it. Okay, you think about it. Okay.

13:35

Um, alright, well, we're gonna take a quick little break.

13:37

I need to go, uh, blumpkin. I'm

13:40

gonna run away. Hey,

13:43

sorry to interrupt the show, but oh my god, okay, I

13:45

was trying to tell you guys, please do not leave. I promise,

13:47

you're not gonna want to miss this. Because we have a brand

13:49

new sponsor that has changed my life and

13:52

is something I've actually been looking for for 25 years.

13:54

It's Skinny Pasta, and for the entire

13:57

bag of this pasta, we'll take a look at

13:59

it. They also have spaghetti, they have

14:01

fettuccine, they have rice. For this entire

14:03

bag, 9 calories. 9 calories

14:06

and 0 net carbs.

14:08

Why did I do that?

14:10

Okay, let me explain. First of all, they reached out to me

14:12

and they were like, hey, do you want to work with us? We'll send you some product.

14:14

And I was like, sure, let me look into this. And I Google it.

14:16

I'm like, 9 calorie pasta? Like, what? Is that possible?

14:19

So to me, this was very like, fake. I was like, there's

14:21

no way. It's not going to be good. But let

14:23

me try it anyways. And I didn't even wait for them to send it

14:25

to me because I wanted to try it so bad and I

14:27

bought some on my own. And the next day, I

14:30

opened it up, I heated it all up. I put it

14:32

with my like, stir fry that I post-made it.

14:34

And it was so good. It has

14:36

the same texture as pasta. It

14:38

soaks up the sauce really nice. Like, anything you

14:40

put on it, it will taste like. And it's 9 calories

14:43

for the whole pack. I think 4.5 calories for one serving.

14:45

I know that people don't like to talk about calories and

14:48

I get it. I've struggled with my weight forever. I know it

14:50

could be triggering. But I've been on a health journey lately for

14:53

the last 30 years. But especially the last year, I've

14:55

been really trying to eat clean and trying to eat less

14:57

sugar and less carbs. So this came at the perfect

14:59

time. I literally have already gone through four bags

15:01

of this in a week. I love it. I'm

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not just saying that. I love it. Please

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give it a try. Okay, so let me actually look at what they want

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me to tell you guys about because all of that was just my

15:10

feelings. Okay, the ingredients. It has five

15:12

all-natural ingredients, plant-based, non-GMO,

15:15

gluten-free ingredients. It was designed to mirror

15:17

the feeling and taste of pasta without all

15:19

the carbs. Like, you empty out this bag

15:22

and it fills up a plate. Like, it makes a pile

15:24

of pasta. Like, you're in a fucking cartoon. And

15:26

then I've just been putting some, like, low-calorie

15:29

marinara, just like tomato sauce type of stuff on

15:31

top of that. And then I eat the entire plate of

15:33

pasta. And there's more calories in, like, one

15:35

of my water docs. So it's crazy. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

15:38

So thank you, It's Skinny, for reaching out and for wanting to work

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of your first purchase Okay,

16:03

I'm so excited we have some of the best viewer

16:05

submissions we've ever gotten and

16:07

we have a new segment Oh, there's so much happening.

16:09

Okay. Let me start here So we got an email

16:12

by the way If you want to send us an email or conspiracy

16:14

or anything send it to Shane Dawson podcast stuff

16:16

at gmail.com Okay, so the

16:19

subject of this was husband confessed. He

16:21

was a grower in our wedding vows Wow,

16:24

she had they not had sex. Okay, we'll

16:27

get there because I have a question Okay, so this is from

16:29

Brit and Josh and they said hey guys We got married

16:31

on September 23rd and my husband

16:33

mentioned in our wedding vows that

16:35

he was a grower We love watching the podcast

16:37

together. And here's a picture of them getting married.

16:39

Oh So

16:42

I have a question Does

16:46

she mean he announced it to like

16:48

everyone Or did she

16:51

not know yet? Like were they saving

16:53

themselves? I have a lot of questions for Britain Also,

16:56

okay say for example that me and

16:58

you were gonna wait till we got married for you

17:00

to see my grower if you saw my grower

17:03

on our wedding night or Like what

17:05

would you do? But I guess the thing would be

17:07

is like if you're already

17:09

hard I wouldn't know that you're a grower.

17:12

I'd have to see you soft So you'd have to be like changing

17:15

or walking around the bedroom naked, which

17:17

I'd never would So

17:20

maybe that's maybe that's why

17:23

interesting Maybe she hasn't seen him not

17:25

cuz like if you're already kissing and things are going

17:27

that way. He's already grown grow I

17:29

mean, let us know actually don't But

17:34

either way we love it Britain Josh and we're so happy that you guys

17:36

found each other growing farmers for life Yes

17:40

Okay, this is from Zoe. She said hey Shane. I've been a supporter

17:42

for eight years now. Oh my god Eight

17:45

years. So that was what before me 2015.

17:47

I was already old and burnt out by then But

17:56

she wanted to show us that she has her own

17:58

conspiracy corner in her Look

18:00

at all the conspiracy merch she has! Oh,

18:02

she's not so cute. I love her hair.

18:05

We love you, thank you, Zoe. That's the sweetest thing in the

18:07

whole world. That is so nice. Oh my god. Um,

18:10

okay. Oh, I love this. This is from Misty. She said,

18:12

hey guys, my name is Misty. I wore this at work

18:14

today and everybody loved it. And she's

18:16

wearing a Sorry I Drowned Out shirt. But

18:18

she clearly works at like an airport or something.

18:21

Like, she does something serious. Yeah,

18:23

it's really good. She's wearing

18:25

a pretty important vest. That's iconic

18:28

as fuck. Wow, I love that. I

18:31

like it. Oh, I thought this was fun. This is from

18:33

Marley. She said that she has our

18:35

number one bearded dragon fan. Oh.

18:39

This is gonna spark a lot of controversy

18:41

in the bearded dragon. What do you mean?

18:43

I know. I get a lot of emails about this. I

18:46

know where. Okay. So this is

18:48

her bearded dragon named Spyro. And here's

18:50

a picture of the bearded dragon watching Chris. Spyro's

18:53

so cute. And watching just different pictures

18:56

of the podcast. Oh my god. Are

18:58

those in his tank? Is that a tank? Oh

19:00

my god, is it his tank? Oh my gosh.

19:04

Wow. Is he being trained on a

19:06

kill of it? These

19:09

are the people. Shout out Spyro. Don't

19:12

they live for like 500 years or something? That

19:15

is so nice that she gives Spyro

19:17

that picture to look at. Don't

19:19

they live for like 100? They outlive their owners. Maybe 20

19:22

years. Really? I don't know.

19:25

That's a Googleable thing. How long? I'm curious.

19:27

Spot off. What? 20 years? They can live

19:29

up to 20, but 10 to 15 is coming. Okay.

19:32

Well, Spyro, we're going to have to meet you before... Before

19:37

you die. We're like, you only won.

19:40

Listen. Spyro, we have 15 years

19:43

to meet Spyro. We're going to meet him. Okay,

19:46

good. This I'm really excited

19:48

about. This is literally life changing, if this works.

19:51

So this is from Alex. She said, hey, Shane. Or

19:53

wait, my name is Emily. Hold on. What?

19:58

Okay. Emily is one

20:00

of the two. It

20:02

says that they saw an ad that they

20:04

thought it was me for, and it's for people who

20:07

struggle with mesophonia. This is huge. There's

20:09

a mesophonia community. I'm in it. So

20:11

mesophonia, if you don't already know, is an annoyance

20:14

of sound. You want to die. You want to fucking rib

20:16

on your fucking face. Shut up! a

20:19

noise? I mean, then I'm going to be that guy. So that's

20:21

not happening today because Alex

20:23

slash Emily sent me a link to something

20:26

called calmer earplugs for

20:28

mesophonia. Four mesophones? Four

20:31

mesophones? I know!

20:32

Wow. So supposedly it blocks out the little

20:34

noises, but you can still hear

20:35

like talking. So I have them. I

20:37

bought them. And we have the crunchy

20:40

items that we're going to try out, and I'm going to put these in and

20:42

I'm going to see if they work. This will be a game

20:44

changer. Wow. And I

20:46

didn't. So I was like opening baby things today that I had

20:48

ordered, and that was inside of them. And I was like, what

20:51

are these for my baby? Well,

20:53

they are kind of for our babies because hopefully I can

20:55

wear them with our babies. Oh, thank God. I

20:57

really hope these work. Literally, maybe these chips

21:00

will make us forget about the gas. Oh my

21:02

God, they're kettle. You don't like kettle? No, they're

21:04

the loudest. I love these chips. Carrots. I

21:07

get the fucking carrots. Are

21:09

you kidding me? The baby carrots. Baby

21:11

carrots are really triggering for me. The snap.

21:14

Oh! Now,

21:17

this is why Barbie needs to rule

21:19

the world. Barbie's been given carrots when the boys

21:21

get chips. Fuck you, Ken. Fuck

21:23

you. Barbie,

21:26

I wasn't planning that. Barbie might also

21:28

want chips. Okay,

21:31

don't eat them until I have my plugs in, please. Okay.

21:34

So this is actually a big deal because this

21:36

disease, which is what I'm calling it, lecithonia,

21:40

ruins my life, ruins happy moments in

21:42

my life. Like, we could be having a dinner

21:44

with the fucking president, and it could be the best night

21:46

ever, and then Kamala takes a crunch, and I'm

21:48

fucking ending that bitch. It's serious.

21:51

Okay. Put me in some sticky situations. It's like

21:53

really deep in there. Can you hear us? I

21:55

can hear you talking. Okay. Do

21:57

you want to hear if you can hear us chewing? Okay, here we go.

21:59

We've been chewing for five minutes. Does

22:02

it work with a headphone? Oh!

22:05

Yeah! Okay. Maybe

22:08

I put them in wrong.

22:08

Oh no! Hold on, hold on. Maybe

22:10

I put them in wrong. If

22:13

that's okay, you need a refund. Oh

22:16

no, I was so happy for you.

22:18

All right, keep chewing. Ah!

22:22

Oh, it's like worse! Oh, it's

22:24

worse. No. Oh my, what are the reviews

22:26

on this? A carrot's underrated. I should start

22:28

grabbing for a carrot. And

22:31

here's the thing, I don't like to be a bad reviewer,

22:33

but the people should know not to spend

22:35

their money, right? No, I agree. I agree. But

22:37

also I will say I saw this shirt. I think I bought

22:40

it. And I just thought it was iconic. It

22:42

says, I came, I saw, I heard you chewing.

22:46

Did you get it? I did. You should have

22:48

just showed up in it one morning. I know. Okay.

22:52

Make a better product whoever made that. Thank you. Okay,

22:55

now let's get into some voicemails.

22:57

If you want to call us and leave us a voicemail about anything

22:59

going on in your life, or if you have mesophonia,

23:02

tell me your story. We'll give you the numbers right here. All

23:05

right, let's get to the first

23:06

point.

23:07

Hi, Shane. So

23:11

I peg my husband,

23:13

and I love it so much, but

23:16

I love it even more when I watch

23:18

him fuck the

23:20

dildo, suction cup

23:22

to our dresser. And I

23:24

hope

23:25

I'm not a cock, because

23:27

I could never watch him come back

23:30

to this like anybody

23:32

else. Right. Okay, thank you guys a lot

23:34

of bye.

23:35

Okay, first of all, we love you. Alconic. Oh,

23:37

yeah. Second of all, I feel like a dresser is

23:39

dangerous, because it could tip over. How

23:41

did you do the videos of the dressers? I think he's backing up

23:43

into the dresser. Oh, yeah. Like

23:45

how I visioned it, it's like coming like this,

23:47

and he's just pounding that pussy

23:50

back onto it. But wouldn't the drawer

23:52

be opening or closing? I have a lot of questions. Oh. Maybe

23:54

the side of the dresser? I'm glad

23:56

you guys are sexually liberated. Me too. She

23:58

asked if she's a cuck. Oh, well,

24:01

I was gonna know you go ahead. I was gonna I

24:03

was gonna talk about the cuck aspect of it What

24:05

do you think? I don't know I was gonna I was gonna ask

24:07

cuz in my mind I don't know really I guess

24:10

exactly what the definition is, but isn't a cuck like

24:12

specifically another person Yeah,

24:14

like I don't think if you watched someone be

24:17

banging them stuff with the dildo you're a cuck Yeah,

24:19

I think it has to involve another human being

24:21

I think you have a full-blown

24:23

intercourse with your significant way

24:26

And not to shame the husband cuz what

24:28

an icon but it almost the sound

24:30

backing it up, bro This

24:32

kind of sounds like one of the high school stories like can you

24:34

imagine who's to? Yeah, a dresser

24:38

I just can't imagine if you like walked

24:40

in on me in the bedroom just like Dress

24:44

I mean I basically do when you're like on all fours

24:46

trying to oh my wait what Oh Sticking

24:50

my ass into I mean no shame,

24:53

but you were judgmental Barbie Okay,

24:56

this is a segue because I do have a new song

24:59

we're not changing the song by the way We love

25:01

our is my husband gay song. Let me actually

25:03

replay iconic just once again kind of applies

25:05

Okay,

25:15

so that's obviously the icon well We do

25:17

have a backup submission because this came

25:19

through on fiber And I think

25:21

this is the same girl that did the Peruvian

25:23

facts on so here we go. It's just a different vibe and

25:34

You can't deny that she has a vibe Oh fucking

25:36

amazing yeah, yeah, we love both songs

25:39

So we'll start you know going back and forth just

25:41

like your husband on the dresser Blessing

25:46

to hear no that is very cool that you guys

25:49

are so willing to try things out And

25:51

I do think it's cool that you get to fuck your man Why

25:54

not be the power top every once in a while all

25:56

right? Let me find one That's not sex related because I have

25:58

been getting some comments from people being like, God,

26:01

all you guys do is talk about dicks and pussies and, you

26:03

know, backing it up. So let me try to find one. Okay,

26:06

here we go. Okay, so I'm Ava

26:08

from Minnesota

26:09

and I was wondering

26:11

what your best, like, what your

26:14

best fat person memory is or

26:17

like your best, like, funniest

26:20

thing that you've done because you're fat.

26:22

What? I have mine and

26:24

I was wondering okay or

26:26

like, first

26:30

of all, Ava, call back and give us your best

26:32

memory. Like

26:35

that explain because Chris looks very not hard.

26:37

She's not talking about her best

26:40

memory with a fat person, but you can do that memory

26:44

as a fat person

26:47

or a formerly fat person. So,

26:49

you know, like we've talked about, you know, my, well,

26:52

my worst memory would be getting

26:54

kicked off a roller coaster for being fat. But what would

26:56

my best memory be? I'm

26:59

interested to hear what you would say.

27:01

Like, what would the best fat memory

27:03

be? I think he means like the funniest. Oh,

27:06

okay. The funniest. I guess I've

27:08

been pretty fat in my life. It's

27:14

just the serious thinking. It's

27:17

the silence. Well, I was. We

27:19

had, we had like a little niece

27:22

or nephew at the house not too long ago,

27:24

like a little four or five year old girl. Okay. And

27:26

I was showing her the fish tank and I lifted up

27:28

my arms to put the thing in. I

27:31

see your belly. Okay.

27:33

I guess that can happen. I was

27:35

kind of fat, but oh, Oh, I

27:37

feel like they're all gonna be sad. They're all

27:39

fat. I was talking about getting pants.

27:44

The best memory. Okay. Okay. I got one

27:46

kind of, but not really. Have I talked about this before?

27:48

There was a moment in like middle school where

27:51

my guy friends would ask to grab my titties.

27:53

Oh, was

27:57

that like a highlight for you? When

28:00

being the guy coming through. That

28:04

was the original question. Yeah, maybe this is traumatic

28:06

when you realized you were bi. But, uh,

28:08

yeah, they were just like kinda curious, because my big old

28:10

titties are just always out. So it

28:13

was just like... And just like, oh my god,

28:15

this is what a boob feels like. Maybe that's

28:18

not a good memory. Now

28:20

that I think about it. You can just probably... Yeah,

28:22

you know. I thought it was funny. To each his own.

28:25

Yeah. Well, thank you, Ava. We're

28:28

bringing out these very

28:30

dark moments from our lives. Chris, okay,

28:32

let's make this happy. Chris, what's your favorite fat

28:34

person? I have like a

28:37

funny, like, kinda like very PG version

28:40

of one of these. Where it's like, when

28:42

I was younger, I was snowboarding. I

28:44

was trying to learn how to snowboard. I think it's

28:46

mountain high. Is that the close one? I don't go anywhere.

28:49

Oh, okay. Well, I think that's the closer. It's

28:51

not like Big Ver, one of the furthest ones. It's the

28:53

closest one. It was starting

28:55

to get hot and there was not a lot of snow left and it was all

28:57

ice. So if you fell and hit your head on that, it's

28:59

serious. It's like hitting cement. So excited

29:02

to see where this goes. I can't wait. I

29:04

was trying to learn and I wasn't doing a good job, but

29:06

I went way too fast and I didn't know how to stop.

29:09

It just became all ice. I was like, if I fall right now, I'm

29:11

dead. I'm going so fast. Something

29:14

hit my board and I got stuck and I flew

29:16

forward. I was like, I'm dead. I don't have a helmet on. I'm gonna

29:18

hit my head. I'm dead. I swear to you. This

29:21

bitch fell down in front of

29:23

me and I like landed so

29:26

softly and cushioned like on him. And

29:28

then I saved my life from breaking my head open.

29:31

And then I got up and I was like, I'm so sorry. And

29:33

the guy was like, no, bro, it's all good. He

29:35

like patted his belly and then like we laughed and

29:37

we like talked for the next 10 minutes. Seems like this

29:40

is going to be traumatic for him. I was like,

29:42

how old were you? I

29:44

was like pretty. I was like middle

29:46

school or something. Dude, I actually think

29:48

that we just found the catalyst for why Chris

29:50

is into big guys. Oh, they saved

29:52

your life. Because one saved your life

29:55

and you forever will look at them as

29:57

like your rock. You

29:59

know? Or their cushions

30:01

that guy changed your goal course

30:03

of your life, dude Important

30:05

fat moment, but maybe that is where it came

30:08

from. I think it is. That's sweet Okay,

30:11

I love that. Thank you so much Ava for bringing up trauma

30:13

and also, you know figuring out Always

30:19

something it always is okay. This is something

30:22

fun that wanted to try it I want to also do this on our audio

30:24

only podcast But this is

30:27

fights with Shane and Rylan So here's

30:29

what I did I asked you guys to send me some voicemails

30:31

of your fights with your significant other and

30:34

we but also you guys are going to Referee

30:36

it and decide whose side were on

30:38

with this fight. Okay. It

30:41

always helps a fight. I know Here

30:45

we go

30:46

So

30:50

Me and my boyfriend had a fight last week because

30:53

he was going to the store and I was like, you know We're

30:55

all stay home because I want to take a night, you

30:57

know And he was like do you want anything from

30:59

the store? And I was like, no, you know, that's

31:01

just something you say expecting something back

31:03

and if you didn't bring me anything back

31:05

And

31:11

give me anything

31:13

Girl you should have opened that postmates

31:15

app. Am I the one? Okay, first

31:18

of all, wow, I get it You're

31:22

in the wrong but I am you I'm

31:27

not opposed to like asking

31:29

for something later that I never asked

31:31

for before and sometimes it's just a cry for attention

31:34

You want to know that you're loved? Here's the thing He

31:36

is Slightly in the wrong because by now he

31:38

should know because with what we do when I

31:40

order something like food or something or drink And

31:43

if you're like, I don't want anything. I always get you something

31:45

always I know exactly what to get you and then I get

31:47

you in when it comes you're like Oh, I'm so hungry and you eat it. I

31:49

was like, wow interesting because you said you don't want it. God,

31:51

you're such a bitch Jared

31:55

oh, this is very familiar for me. It's

31:58

like a Reese's Pieces or something like that

32:01

is typically the scenario. I think

32:04

the beautiful part about being in a relationship

32:06

is being with someone who knows you and gets

32:09

you and I think the moments like

32:11

that that you just missed of them not bringing you back

32:13

what you felt they knew you wanted, I mean

32:16

I get why it would frustrate you and then

32:18

after you said something here's the thing. If

32:20

they offered to go to the store and you said

32:23

no, don't go to the store, then

32:25

it's kind of on you. Well, we know

32:27

that but us women just wanted to thought

32:30

of. I know, I get it but

32:32

sometimes we just want to be told exactly what you want

32:34

to. No, obviously she's in the wrong. I

32:38

identify with you. My current relationship is

32:40

the exact opposite. I

32:42

go to the store often and it's been

32:45

long enough now that I know what to

32:47

get. There are just things I will just get that I know

32:49

he likes but even

32:51

if I call and say hey,

32:54

I'm headed to the store, would you like anything? And he's like

32:56

no, I'm okay, thank you for asking. And then I come

32:58

back and he's like you didn't get me anything? I'm like I literally

33:01

called you. That drives me insane.

33:05

So you don't get anything. I feel like she's in

33:07

the wrong. And Shane's the opposite. He

33:09

asks for things and I still don't get them.

33:15

Like I'll go to Disneyland, he's like please get me

33:17

these ears and I'm like you got it. Come

33:19

home empty handed. I

33:22

just think it's like bad communication. Just say

33:24

what you want. Just be an adult about this. It kind

33:26

of drives me insane honestly but I do understand

33:29

that like yeah, you

33:31

learn your partner and that's sweet. You

33:33

can just stop a fight from happening by just doing

33:35

it. But like also communicate

33:37

better. And if she was actually crying

33:40

over this, there's something deeper going on. I

33:44

think you need to get to the root of why you're actually

33:46

mad at this motherfucker. And I'll

33:48

come at him with you. Alright let's do one more fight.

33:50

Okay I don't know if this counts as

33:52

like a fight necessarily but my

33:55

husband will not

33:58

stop. He pronounced his word. Absolutely

34:00

wrong and one of them that I can

34:03

think of off the top my head is accurate

34:05

Tell

34:08

me it's not accurate Like

34:10

it's accurate not accurate

34:13

All types of

34:15

fucked up so you're only Shane

34:17

have a few okay Supposedly

34:26

to me Supposedly no you guys

34:28

say supposedly no I don't you literally

34:30

not just say words right

34:32

away when you did that it was like DJ Barf you You

34:35

don't just say words wrong you say the wrong

34:38

word so for every

34:42

Recently that was so crazy that I can

34:49

There was one recently that was so fucking

34:51

what I had to just call you out because I here's the

34:53

thing I never call you out on it because I

34:56

know what you mean and it is annoying like Lizzie

34:58

does this to you a lot It is I get that it's

35:00

annoying when you call somebody out You know what

35:02

they mean blah blah blah if you tell me once

35:04

that's fine And if I didn't

35:07

take it into consideration ever do then

35:09

that's on me right as to stop reminding me because

35:11

obviously I didn't like your suggestion right Okay

35:18

I can't really think on the spot of words that you

35:20

say wrong none or no no no well This

35:23

isn't your fault. This is probably a Colorado in

35:25

Colorado thing But you say when

35:28

you're when you eat too much you get fool

35:31

Lizzie all the time says here's the dill yeah

35:34

like I say D. She says I say like d

35:36

I ll or de al no

35:38

It's what I well it was retail and

35:40

she's a deal mountains

35:44

It's like a Colorado Utah thing though That's more

35:46

of an accent thing than saying things wrong

35:48

right like cuz I was born in Utah But here's

35:50

what I would say I would say just

35:53

let them say whatever they want to say and

35:55

just ignore it although now They were having kids. I don't

35:57

want our kids to be stupid Like

36:00

I don't want our kids to be like... I don't think it

36:02

makes sense. Stupid. Accurate's

36:05

not an easy word to even think

36:07

of. You know that's a smart word. Accurate. I

36:12

don't want our kids to be stupid. Do

36:14

you hear what that implies? That your husband

36:16

is stupid? It's

36:20

not that you're stupid. It's

36:21

not that you're stupid.

36:23

It's that I don't want

36:26

them to go to school and start saying your dumb

36:28

words. And

36:30

then the teachers are like... Then you

36:32

be involved. You be there all the

36:34

time. So what I'm saying is I need to start

36:36

now. I'm going to start correcting you now. That

36:40

was great. I think it lived up to the name. It

36:42

really did. What was our advice? And

36:45

those were... And you know what? I liked it.

36:47

Those were like pretty minor fights. Those

36:49

are fun. You know what I mean? Those are fun

36:52

fights. Those are fun. If

36:54

you have any fights, maybe get a little crazier with these fights. Send

36:56

them in and we will referee. Hey,

36:59

sorry to interrupt the show but really quick I just want to give some love

37:02

to one of my favorite sponsors ever, Buffy.

37:04

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37:06

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38:08

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I just love you guys so much and I'm on your media so thank

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you so much.

38:15

Alright, so bye!

38:19

Are we ready for the game? Oh yeah! Okay,

38:21

so this game is called Hi Barbie, Bye

38:23

Barbie. Alright, we'll go through this really

38:26

fast. So I went on Instagram and I said, hey give me some

38:28

things, movies, places, foods,

38:31

things, whatever. And we are going to say

38:33

whether we like them, Hi Barbie, or whether

38:35

we're done with them, Bye Barbie. So

38:37

I'm going to say a word and then all of

38:39

us at the same time say what we think. Ready? I

38:42

love these segments. Mushrooms. Bye

38:44

Barbie! Maybe we say

38:46

it one by one. Okay,

38:49

how about it starts with Shane and goes clockwise. Okay, we'll

38:51

go fast. Ready? Mushrooms. Bye Barbie. Hi

38:53

Barbie. Hi Barbie. Bye Barbie. Okay,

38:56

interesting. You guys are mushroom boys. I guess I already

38:58

knew that. Says everything I need to know. Okay,

39:01

this one's a little harder. Mayonnaise. Hi

39:03

Barbie! Bye Barbie. Hi Barbie. Whatever,

39:07

Barbie. You can't do that. I

39:09

mean, but sometimes yes, sometimes no.

39:11

No, Barbie, it's one or the other. Okay. You

39:13

guys said hi Barbie. Okay, good. I love mayonnaise. I love

39:16

mayonnaise. You don't like mayonnaise. No. The

39:18

more I'm thinking about it. I'm allergic. I'll throw

39:20

up if I take it. Well, like in tuna fish sandwiches.

39:23

I love it so much in Europe. It's commonplace to eat

39:25

french fries with mayonnaise instead of ketchup. And I did

39:27

that here and all my friends were like, you're insane. And

39:29

they were so mad. In Utah, fry sauce

39:32

is ketchup combined with mayo. It's so

39:34

good. Have you tried it? Mayonnaise? I

39:36

literally used to dip white wonder bread in mayonnaise.

39:39

I would make mayonnaise quesadillas. Yes.

39:43

I'm here for it. Okay, what's the next one? This

39:45

one's controversial. Okay. Please don't

39:47

hate us in the comments.

39:49

Or some of us. Ready? Harry

39:51

Potter.

39:52

Bye Barbie. How dare you. Hi

39:54

Barbie. I like the ride

39:56

at Universal. Oh my god, wait, me too. Hi Barbie. No,

40:00

you can't do that. Bye Barbie. Okay. Here's

40:02

the thing actually no I want I actually

40:04

would butter beer I

40:08

asked you to start it with me from

40:10

the beginning I've tried so many times but the ride

40:12

is iconic and so is butter beer So I'm back in the

40:14

middle Maybe I'm just traumatized because when I was

40:16

in high school my friend's dad would drop us off at the

40:19

theater to see it And be like are you guys gay?

40:22

Like yeah, oh my god, wait. Yes all

40:24

the people I know who love butter gay Then

40:27

in women Pretty

40:30

fucking a JK rolling people's I don't

40:32

remember what she did those people are things she's like homo Call

40:35

they're transphobic, but she's writing stuff for gay

40:37

people. It's all confusing guys Sandy

40:39

recently tried to get me to watch the Harry Potter

40:41

series and I said I can do I don't get you're wondering

40:44

I'm a full puff. I did a few twilight. That's

40:46

all I could do. We were all wondering.

40:48

I was literally sitting here What

40:51

house You're

40:54

such a helpful Because

41:00

I can get it for myself Griffin door

41:02

I think Griffin door not yes, we're door. We're

41:04

Griffin's, babe Okay, I call

41:06

my brother, baby Okay,

41:11

this will sorry we'll be faster and

41:13

if I go we're having fun, okay Star Wars

41:15

this is gonna be good I'm gonna cry

41:22

So bye Barbie, but Jar

41:24

Jar is on my list I've never even seen

41:27

a I Hi

41:29

Barbie with every fiber might be I

41:32

mean when I was a kid I loved them. I haven't watched them as an

41:34

adult so I can't say bye I don't like

41:37

those would hold up to watch my very adult. I

41:39

just can't watch movies that aren't realistic Interesting

41:42

this one is also controversial because

41:44

you're married to one Disney adults. This

41:47

is new for me. Hi Barbie Hi

41:51

Barbie How about

41:53

this for myself personally

41:56

no that's why I don't have a pass so I'm

41:58

like my

42:01

Barbie myself personally I barbie for

42:03

Sandy right right right okay hi

42:05

Barbie okay yeah hi Barbie okay

42:07

here's the thing I used to be really judgey of Disney adults

42:09

like really judgey I would like be like oh my god

42:11

this is so weird even in high school like my

42:14

friends in high school be going to Disneyland every week I play water

42:16

and then what you went to cost a bonito once and

42:18

everything changed no I start

42:21

playing my class I started watching Disney

42:24

bloggers a few years ago and I got really

42:26

into it and then I started thinking if

42:28

I'm a Disney hater why am I watching Disney

42:30

vlogs maybe I'm just jealous of the people

42:32

who can go to Disney and have fun as adults when

42:34

I'm over here watching on my couch I'm such a pathetic fat

42:37

fuck it's like people that are able to eat vegetables

42:39

as snacks you

42:42

know I don't get it I don't

42:44

either good for you exactly so and

42:46

now my favorite youtubers of all time ordinary adventures

42:49

they need to come up I love them they're

42:51

Disney adults and they love Star Wars and Harry Potter all

42:53

the things I hate and I love them so here's what I'm thinking

42:55

this is my new life now

42:56

and then I didn't know you were married to a Disney

42:58

adult how did I don't know that

43:00

I don't know

43:03

everybody she asked everybody she grew

43:05

up sorry I needed

43:07

to carry oh

43:10

my gosh has she always been one well

43:12

she grew up in the same city

43:15

the Disneyland is in pretty much oh

43:17

yeah it's been like part of her history

43:19

you know she loves Disneyland she likes the whole experience

43:22

so okay our very

43:24

last one and this one was very

43:27

specific and I don't know if this is a tick-tock trend but

43:29

it goes really well but we're talking earlier putting

43:31

ice cubes in your ass I

43:34

can say as somebody who's done this multiple times why multiple

43:37

when I had my fissure oh when I

43:39

had an inside hemorrhoid the only

43:42

thing that works sometimes is shoving it not a

43:44

full big ice cube a little bit of the crushed ice

43:46

sure is there a mold for an ass

43:49

yes it technically it's for water bottles

43:51

like an animal cube but it would be perfect for

43:54

your ass feels

43:56

great okay and the melting

43:58

is a little drippy drip it's a little A

44:00

little little wet diaper by the way we fell

44:02

down a rabbit hole the other night of

44:04

adults who wear diapers And

44:08

use them no judgment, but it

44:10

was interesting and the video we clicked on the girl

44:12

or guy I don't remember but was like what are doing

44:15

reviews of diapers And then she

44:17

shit and you saw the diaper fill and

44:19

then we were out there was a like terminology

44:22

Wow is this like yeah, just people like

44:24

who use depends who need it or like is it no? I

44:27

don't know if it's a key or I don't know I don't

44:29

know right. We're not jerking off while they're shooting

44:31

in their diet They're not having a bumpkin, but they don't know

44:35

I mean they are promoting

44:37

their only fans This

44:40

is a cake for sure for sure yeah,

44:42

you know Ice

44:45

cubes oh, I don't know

44:47

but that's interesting you know I will

44:49

say though Life hack a

44:52

neck pillow for a plane

44:54

okay Also doubles as

44:56

a hemorrhoid donut because

44:59

on the flight back I recently took I I

45:02

had a pretty bad one and I took

45:04

it off of my neck and I sat on it Boom

45:07

right on but did you use it as a neck pillow after

45:09

no? Well

45:15

there you guys go hopefully you enjoyed our high Barbies by Barbies

45:19

I never did it ice cubes. Yeah, all

45:21

right come on I'm

45:24

I'm a very sensitive to hot and cold

45:26

asshole, so I'm gonna say bye I've

45:29

never tried it, but I can't hate on what I haven't tried.

45:31

Don't say hi Barbie I don't know well

45:33

like there are lubes that are supposed to be like warming sensations

45:36

that I've tried and it's just like Yeah,

45:39

didn't react well to it. I don't know maybe that's different.

45:42

Did you have open cuts no? I Sent

45:46

to the booty I tried hand sanitizer to

45:48

fit weird Hopefully

45:52

enjoyed our high barber's by Barbies let us know in the comments

45:54

which ones you were saying hi or bye, too Okay, this

45:57

is a video I found and I just had to show you guys this cuz

45:59

this shook my face fucking brain. Are you ready for this? Oh

46:02

yeah. My friends, this is a pumpkin

46:04

swirl frozen coffee. I

46:07

thought it was a good idea to put this on the menu

46:09

because this drink has a hundred

46:11

and eighty five grams of sugar. Okay,

46:15

no, it's good. It's this much. It's 80 of

46:20

sugar. To give you another perspective, the

46:23

amount of sugar in there is equal to 14 please

46:26

don't eat. What? There's

46:29

no pumpkin in here. It's artificial flavors.

46:31

There is 12 mentions of sugar.

46:34

What? Or is there a pea bear? There's 930.

46:36

Oh my god. Are they cancelled? 194 cards? 30

46:41

of us are already type 2 diabetic

46:43

or pre-diabetic. If America runs on this.

46:45

Okay, putting me on blast. Um, oh

46:48

my god. It is a lot of them. That's crazy.

46:50

Bring them

46:51

out. No! No! I had to

46:54

try it. I had to

46:55

try it baby. When I saw this going viral, I

46:58

was like, okay, but this just sold me one. I really,

47:00

I really try. Jared's not even waiting

47:02

for us. He never does. Wait,

47:04

hide above your body party. Um,

47:07

the thing is I try not to

47:09

like drink my calories because I, you

47:11

can't really tell what's in shit like

47:13

this. Right, now you know. So this is

47:15

probably the most unhealthy drink ever made. So

47:18

let's see. It is Friday night. How it tastes. That's

47:20

major. This could be the last meal we

47:22

have. Three, two. I bet it's amazing.

47:25

I

47:28

mean. Okay, I'm gonna get in trouble for this, but

47:30

it's not sweet enough. Isn't

47:33

that crazy? I would. It tastes too much

47:35

like coffee. Well, it's sweet. I love it. But the

47:37

thing is, you wouldn't think that it's sweeter

47:39

than a whole dozen of donuts. No. Jared's

47:42

like, done with it. No, no, no, definitely

47:45

not. But it's like a little

47:47

frozen, but it's good. But if I were

47:49

thinking I'm going to sacrifice 150 grams

47:52

of sugar, this would be a, how many weight watcher points do you think

47:54

that this is delicious? Oh dude, this is like a week's

47:56

worth of food. Whoa. But you're bad.

47:59

This is so good. You like it? It's so

48:01

good. Gosh, you'd be sick, but it is

48:03

delicious. It's not bad. To me, it's just a little bitter.

48:05

It's not sweet enough. I'd say double that sugar. See,

48:07

I feel like it's a little too sweet, but I- Get this straw to the bottom.

48:10

I think because some of it's frozen. Oh, okay.

48:12

The good goods at the bottom. Yeah. Well, okay, so here's

48:15

the other thing I wanted to try. So Ice Spice

48:17

has her new Dunkin' Munchkins

48:19

drink. And it's ice. And supposedly,

48:21

and no shade to Ice Spice. Please come

48:24

on the show. We love you. Come on the show.

48:26

Sure, no thought you were saying. That's what the hemorrhoid

48:28

cream should be called. Oh, just use the Ice Spice.

48:31

So this is 180 grams of sugar. For

48:33

your butt. Maybe you could teach her her own songs,

48:35

Jared. A liter of cola

48:38

is 95 grams of sugar. Wow.

48:41

A liter. So is this drink

48:44

as unhealthy as what we just did? I don't know about

48:46

the health, but this is kind of going viral because people

48:48

are saying it's so gross. Because what they did was

48:50

they took Dunkin' Munchkins, which

48:52

are like donut folks, and they blended

48:55

it in. Yeah. Okay, so we only

48:57

have two of these. So we're gonna have to try

48:59

one and then pass it to you. Is

49:01

it good enough? Or is it duh duh duh duh?

49:04

What is it? Wait, is

49:06

that who it is? Yeah, duh duh duh duh. Oh,

49:09

I know. What's that? She's like duh

49:11

duh. And from that, I know who it is. You

49:13

know, it tastes just like a donut

49:16

hole. It does? Please don't spill that on the

49:18

road. We could pass this around. It's

49:23

weird, right? I didn't like it. It's not bad.

49:25

It's better than the pumpkin thing. It's interesting that nobody...

49:28

What? What? Oh. Take

49:32

a... See? Whoa. I know.

49:34

It tastes like a donut. It's like her music. It's like at first,

49:36

you hear it, and you're like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,

49:39

and then you're like, and then you're like, duh duh duh duh duh. You get

49:41

better at that. Oh yeah.

49:43

I like the pumpkin better. Interesting.

49:45

I've never had a drink like this.

49:48

It really is a blended donut. If anyone

49:50

knows blended drinks out of us, it looks

49:52

like Chris. Chris looks like he

49:54

knows blended drinks. Well, speaking of pumpkin

49:57

spice, this is... I

49:59

hate it. questionable and I don't think we're gonna

50:01

be able to try it cuz I honestly think we will

50:03

die. The pumpkin

50:06

spice spam came. How

50:10

old is it? Okay so the

50:12

pumpkin spice spam is expired

50:17

August 2022. But here's what

50:20

I'm thinking. That's just a suggestion.

50:23

This is like end-of-the-world type of shit right

50:25

like spam is like lasts forever right we

50:27

should at least open it up. I mean we said that about

50:29

Twinkies. Right. That's like

50:32

what we have in 2032 when we like have access to

50:34

nothing but it's

50:40

fall. Oh dude I can't even look at it. Okay

50:43

it looks. Oh no.

50:46

Is this supposed to be that color? Not what it's supposed to be. I didn't see

50:48

that at all. I saw that guy looking

50:50

at me. There's something mold growing in there. It

50:53

looks bad. Hold on let me see if this is about the...

50:55

Oh is the gas guy here? Hello? Okay

51:01

big update before we get into the conspiracy corner.

51:03

The gas leak is fixed. It's

51:05

good? Supposedly.

51:08

Supposedly. We'll see. I do wish

51:11

we asked him had the courage to ask him to come inside.

51:14

Wouldn't it have been fun to have like a random guest? That

51:16

would be fun. Okay

51:19

so this is from Ivy. She sent us an email and

51:21

the subject of the email was sorry

51:23

Ryland. Thank

51:26

god he's not here. Currently

51:28

I'm on vacation with my girlfriend's family

51:31

and my girlfriend and

51:33

her cousin seem to think that my

51:36

shirt is another dress situation.

51:38

No. So the

51:41

girlfriend thinks that it's orange

51:43

but her sister and her think that it's red.

51:46

She said it's obviously a red shirt and they're wrong.

51:48

I want to know what Ryland thinks. All right so let's see.

51:50

I blacked out with rage. Can you explain one more

51:53

time? Okay so what color is Ivy's

51:56

shirt? I don't even want to look.

51:59

I mean this one's hard. Like it's

52:02

like wait what what were the options like

52:04

a red with a slightly lighter red oh But

52:07

orange and red are so yeah, either

52:09

I see red I see red really

52:12

I see like a blood I see more orange

52:14

than anything, but it could be either

52:16

I see blood orange with like red stripes

52:20

Blood orange is more red than orange though. I think

52:22

yeah blood is in the title and let it be for the

52:26

Whatever you guys want Like

52:29

so you have a ring and chill Okay,

52:33

well we all see red and some of us wrong

52:35

ones see orange Okay, so

52:37

this is a video I found that it's not really

52:39

conspiracy, but well

52:53

Ready so I'm gonna play the video upside

52:55

down. This is crazy Wait

53:01

No, isn't that crazy?

53:05

Much exactly Whoa

53:11

Okay, wait, she's that crazy to fuck them

53:13

up all those photos were terrifying separate Elon

53:16

Musk who looked identical, right? Was

53:18

he up to down my stupid? Oh Okay,

53:21

let me Okay,

53:24

so the original video right that okay that's

53:27

normal side up she fucked him up the

53:29

faces on those are upside down But

53:32

when you saw it didn't it look normal to you

53:34

it just you were like oh, it's upside down But then when you actually

53:36

flip it upside down looks like that you didn't get it

53:38

huh It's still don't get it your brain can't

53:40

process looking at faces upside

53:43

down for whatever reason So

53:45

like what you're looking at right now is the image, but when

53:47

it's upside down your brain sees it as normal as

53:49

normal Okay, I've arrived Okay,

53:52

so this is about toys. So I'm so mad

53:54

because I bought a video Barbie

53:57

Literally a year ago and it was supposed to be here. It still

53:59

has not come but have you heard of video Barbie? No.

54:02

So video Barbie is a banned Barbie. They

54:04

mentioned it in the Barbie movie for a second but it's

54:06

a Barbie that has a video camera in

54:09

its chest. What? And then on Barbie's

54:11

back you can watch the screen. But

54:13

then they found out that bad people were

54:16

accessing it and watching kids

54:18

filming them. Oh no. Like scary. This

54:21

sounded like a recipe for disaster

54:23

to me. So they didn't think, Barbie didn't think

54:25

that went through. Yeah. So that Barbie's

54:27

not here yet. I wanted to film part of the podcast with that Barbie.

54:29

We don't have it. But I did find

54:31

this. This was sent to me by Cindy and I

54:34

actually think this is Cindy in the video. I'm

54:36

actually not sure. Is this Cindy or is this a viral

54:38

TikTok? I don't know. It says I'm a new mom

54:40

and I've oh this is her. It says I'm a new mom

54:42

and I bought my little boy this toy that sings.

54:45

Am I crazy or does it sound like it's saying

54:47

kill? Okay so here is the video. Okay

54:50

so I bought my kid this toy and I need to know if I'm totally

54:52

bugging out or not.

54:53

Basically it looks like an ordinary Walker right?

54:55

You can change the setting. But we need to get

54:57

rid of this. When you press

54:59

one of these buttons I swear.

55:02

Just listen. I

55:04

heard

55:06

it. Like am I fully tripping out or does

55:08

that say kill? Like what?

55:11

Okay. What's it supposed to be? I love the editing

55:13

in this video that you did for this. This is great.

55:16

First of all I heard kill. Second of all

55:19

is this her? The Cindy. What else could it be? Oh

55:23

it definitely said kill. Like

55:25

what's the other option? Yeah

55:27

what's it supposed to be? All I heard was kill.

55:30

Me too. You're shaking me to my core

55:32

mama. I don't know what

55:34

you wanted. Anyways Cindy

55:37

send us more conspiracies because we love you. Yeah.

55:40

Okay oh this is gonna shake you to your core

55:42

too. God I'm really shaking you to your

55:45

core. Here we go. Hi

55:46

important question. Do you have a bump on the roof

55:48

of your mouth? Only 30% of people have that.

55:50

What?

55:52

Okay mine looks like this one. Whoa. But

55:55

I guess it could be on the bottom of your mouth. Top.

55:58

Whoa. My whole life. I don't have

56:00

that. I don't have that either. I don't have it. What?

56:04

Do you have a bump in the roof of your mouth? A slight one.

56:06

I can feel it with my tongue. Whoa,

56:09

take a picture of it. I mean it's slight.

56:12

They said 30% so that would be 25% of

56:14

the Certain

56:19

amount of population can do this Well

56:22

the whoa, so not just the taco

56:24

But that's a fourth three leaf clover cuz

56:27

I can do just a taco, but yeah, I can't

56:29

do that. I look awful Did

56:32

you take a picture? I'm crying. Oh my god.

56:34

Take a mouthy Wait,

56:36

how do you do that? Oh my

56:38

god. I hate this one of those things where we can't

56:40

do it. You can't do it Did you get it? Did

56:44

you? You censored your teeth? I

56:48

do kind of see I see

56:51

it. Yeah. Oh my god. You're one of them. It

56:53

looks like a demon inside of you Wow,

56:56

wow, yeah, it goes down a little whoa

57:00

Yours is just flat an arch.

57:02

Mm-hmm like a perfect arch No

57:06

bumps no lump Okay,

57:09

wow, that was crazy. I can't believe it guys. Let us know

57:11

in the comments you have a bump in your mouth Wow,

57:13

these comments are gonna be crazy today Okay,

57:17

Oh Jared, this is for you you wear glasses I

57:19

do have you heard this is why this

57:21

isn't even a conspiracy This is just true pretty

57:24

much all Glasses

57:26

are made by the same company. Yeah,

57:29

I'm talking like $800 Oh

57:38

Andrew dollar Gucci glasses. I'm talking $2 dollar

57:41

dollar store glasses. They are all

57:43

made by the same company. So there's

57:45

a company Called Luxottica

57:49

frames this company owns and

57:51

makes Armani Chanel Burberry

57:54

Tiffany's lens crafters Sears

57:58

target so they make literally anything

58:00

in any product in any range and

58:03

the markups for some of their glasses are thousand

58:06

percent sorry I wasn't listening oh

58:08

yeah frames of the lens or both

58:11

the frames oh that's

58:14

crazy they look a monopoly I

58:16

think it cost like your wig a couple dollars

58:18

to make a pair of glasses Barbie just going downhill

58:21

like here for reference I just got

58:23

new glasses and

58:25

I got like a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses

58:28

all in with prescriptions it was like 300 bucks

58:31

so the but that's why like they

58:33

do the eye exam for free all

58:36

that because there's so much damn money on

58:38

the lenses so that's what the profit

58:40

is yeah so this guy literally bought

58:42

up all the glasses companies and now he

58:44

just makes them himself so it's like I mean not

58:46

him so monopoly literally isn't

58:49

illegal mad about I don't understand

58:53

because monopolies are supposedly illegal but then like Disney

58:55

definitely has a monopoly everything is

58:57

like everyone there's super so many is it

58:59

right it's also because most people

59:01

have insurance that covers dent vision

59:04

or a lot of people do anything

59:06

that's insurance-based the prices are usually

59:08

fucking skyrocketed insurance is paying it

59:11

you know yeah

59:12

yeah I just

59:12

thought that was interesting but now what am I

59:14

gonna do I mean ripped off I love sunglasses

59:17

but now it's like should I just be getting dollar store

59:19

classes I mean literally yeah you have to

59:21

over the years that we've learned that with everything

59:23

with G like with food with

59:26

clothes okay

59:28

this is really stupid but I

59:33

just had to show anyways this is from Kimmy she said this

59:35

show me so let me show you this the blue

59:38

stripes are all parallel you're

59:40

a liar you know

59:42

what you could actually see it if

59:44

you blur your eyes if you blur your

59:46

eyes at one point they just all go

59:48

parallel to each other yeah I don't I did he

59:50

crooked line you got it you got it it's almost like

59:52

you got to look through your eyelashes I got long

59:55

luscious I have a phone level do you want me to get it

59:57

out here for me but okay I just leveled it

1:00:00

See that I just level So

1:00:03

it is how does that make any sense

1:00:05

in the vertical? Yeah, you need to let me see no

1:00:07

keep going down I got to make sure the second line I

1:00:09

think it's just the dots in the way that the dots are located

1:00:12

but the actual lines are okay starting to

1:00:14

give me a headache No, here's the thing the diamonds

1:00:16

that are black and white those are

1:00:18

all straight lines. So if you look at those

1:00:20

make me sick. Oh Are

1:00:23

you gonna are you gonna vomit? Okay, my brains

1:00:25

like they're not straight. Yeah, thank you to me. That's

1:00:27

yeah That you in the moment so

1:00:29

many jokes, okay, they're

1:00:32

not straight I'll turn

1:00:34

them Okay. Now

1:00:36

our last conspiracy. This was sent to me by Jared.

1:00:39

So this is involved Bob Ross Icon

1:00:43

let's just put it out there. Bob Ross is

1:00:45

a legend. They're not mistakes They're

1:00:47

happy accidents this guy with the big

1:00:49

afro and whatnot But I saw

1:00:52

a video that kind of shook me to

1:00:54

my core And they're saying because

1:00:56

he painted hundreds of pictures every video

1:00:58

he did or every episode was a different picture That

1:01:01

if you take the pictures and you do almost like

1:01:03

a flip look with them What he did is

1:01:05

he painted you a map of how to

1:01:08

get to where he buried all the bodies that he killed

1:01:10

what? And Bob Ross is a killer

1:01:14

Most serial killers are highly intelligent

1:01:16

individuals. Bob Ross is obviously

1:01:19

highly intelligent. So I'm not trying to are you fucking

1:01:21

serious right now? Lander in the guy's name. Oh,

1:01:23

yeah, if you look it up, it's there's

1:01:25

like videos of the They're like

1:01:27

you're like going through a river, you know, I mean

1:01:30

in his pictures. Yeah Bob

1:01:33

Ross reveals

1:01:34

killing the Bob Ross theory

1:01:37

We all know Bob Ross is the lovable

1:01:39

curly-haired painter on television But

1:01:42

what if I told you there's a much darker

1:01:45

theory surrounding Bob Ross This

1:01:47

theory claims that he's actually

1:01:49

a serial killer and it's all because

1:01:52

of this painting right here This

1:01:54

painting is called happy little

1:01:57

accidents. Those stories surrounding

1:01:59

this painting Is anything but happy?

1:02:02

What looks like a typical serene forest

1:02:04

landscape actually looks eerily

1:02:07

similar to this location So actually

1:02:09

this is the scary part. I think it's different. This

1:02:12

is a different video. This is even here Okay, I gotta

1:02:14

look at it real quick. Oh my god Why

1:02:19

is okay, this is evidence be

1:02:21

wow wait that's even fucking scarier and

1:02:23

that's not even the one Oh Imagine

1:02:27

he's dead in his grave and you guys are now painting him

1:02:29

out to be a serial killer painting No,

1:02:32

first of all, we're just kidding. He's iconic

1:02:34

rest in peace second of all I feel you would love this

1:02:36

because he's all about art and mystery and intrigue.

1:02:39

He's probably like yeah Good

1:02:41

Bob Bob Ross was ahead of his time. Right?

1:02:43

We're just barely getting in that's incredible. That's what I'm thinking

1:02:46

well speaking of people ahead of their times

1:02:48

and possibly murderers

1:02:51

Let's get to a recap Like

1:02:55

camera action We

1:02:57

can see the thought We have

1:02:59

a game Violence

1:03:02

recast On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast the

1:03:04

Barbiecast Survives a Catholic

1:03:07

Ooo Um,

1:03:10

oh, we learned about bumpkins.

1:03:12

Yep Whoo In

1:03:14

a new sexual terminology that we never

1:03:17

knew of well Jared the sick fuck he knew

1:03:19

about it Bumpkins are all

1:03:21

the rage this Halloween Oh

1:03:25

We have a big bearded dragon fan the

1:03:27

couch crew discovers their biggest fan

1:03:29

a bearded dragon Who

1:03:31

has posters of us plastered all

1:03:34

over that been a water tank? Yeah I

1:03:36

don't say them in a lot in and I really did

1:03:39

Duncan made the worst drink for you

1:03:41

ever made. Oh and the best ever munchies Duck

1:03:45

donuts will give you a heart attack and

1:03:47

serve you I spice all at once

1:03:50

fat memories in Sad

1:03:52

news the boys reveal

1:03:54

their favorite fat memories Reliving

1:03:58

their traumatic past Oh

1:03:59

We

1:04:01

discovered that some of us like and some

1:04:03

of us don't like Harry Potter Whoo

1:04:06

in controversial news some of the boys

1:04:08

reveal they aren't fans of Harry Potter I do

1:04:11

I feel like you had to grow up with it video

1:04:13

Barbies for perverts Yeah

1:04:17

Pervert alert get your creep

1:04:19

cam on only available on

1:04:21

eBay Barbies with cameras

1:04:23

to spy on anything and everything.

1:04:26

Yeah, I have alert Oh,

1:04:29

did we talk about the woman

1:04:31

taking her husband? We

1:04:39

all learned the best use of a dildo

1:04:41

is to stay right up against your dresser

1:04:43

and back it up into it. Yeah Okay,

1:04:47

I Got ripped

1:04:50

off all my glasses. Yeah conspiracy

1:04:52

You all are paying way too much for your

1:04:54

glasses because they're all made at the same place

1:04:57

and one guy's Monopolizing everything we're

1:04:59

all cool with Disney adults now. Oh, yeah Shout

1:05:02

out Disney adult shout out Disney

1:05:04

adults Shane has now become

1:05:06

a fan in your old age You're turning

1:05:09

on a lot of things you previously hated. You're becoming

1:05:11

more accepted. Thank you. That's what I was

1:05:13

saying very cool Yeah, remember

1:05:16

to always get your partner something at

1:05:18

the store. Oh Oh To

1:05:21

avoid fights with your significant

1:05:23

unreasonable others always

1:05:25

get done something at the store to avoid Meltdowns

1:05:28

that may lead to real fights

1:05:30

from something you did to them earlier and

1:05:33

then pro tip ask the significant

1:05:35

other Is there anything you can think of that

1:05:37

we need and then just get in what you know,

1:05:39

they want, right? That's the pro tip

1:05:42

don't ask what they want. Right? It's a trick question.

1:05:44

Oh the bump in your mouth. You're weird Yeah

1:05:48

Icon alert. I am the only one

1:05:50

to have a bump in the roof of their

1:05:52

mouth Which means I'm way better than all

1:05:54

of you it actually improved the statistic

1:05:56

exactly 25% of us have it also

1:05:59

prove something else because you showed us a picture

1:06:01

of the roof of your mouth and you know what you didn't have? The

1:06:04

dick sucking mark. Work on that. All

1:06:09

right you guys, well let us know if you give

1:06:11

your husband's plumpkins

1:06:13

in the comment section below. Have you ever

1:06:16

tried it? Be honest. We want your honest

1:06:18

reactions in the comment section below and

1:06:21

give away alert Shane is

1:06:23

giving away AirPod

1:06:25

Pro Max whatever. I

1:06:27

will say they have the best noise canceling

1:06:30

in the game so if you do want a Mice

1:06:32

de Fomme de Hack, that's them. Good

1:06:34

idea. Shane's giving those away on the Shane

1:06:36

Dawson podcast Instagram

1:06:39

so go over and check that out. Make sure you're following

1:06:41

everyone on social media and following

1:06:44

this podcast on all audio platforms,

1:06:46

liking and subscribing on YouTube

1:06:49

and following everyone on social media. Thank you so

1:06:51

much for watching and supporting the show. We'll see you right back

1:06:53

here in two weeks. Good night. Bye

1:06:56

Barbie. Well there you guys go. Hopefully you enjoyed whatever

1:06:58

the hell that was. Gas leak edition.

1:07:00

I'm so happy that we all survived. All the

1:07:03

kens in the Barbie we're all gonna have ourselves a big old

1:07:05

plumpkin. Now this is the show. We'll

1:07:08

see you guys next time. Bye Barbie.

1:07:22

Bye.