0:00

So for this next one, I'm about to airdrop

0:02

you a picture. Now, hold your judgment.

0:05

Are you f***ing kidding me? Oh my

0:08

god. Hold your judgment.

0:10

They said this will settle the debate. Ready? Yeah.

0:13

Okay. Rylan's so mad.

0:25

Welcome back to the podcast.

0:27

I'll never let you go. I'll never let go. You

0:29

literally did. You literally

0:32

did and f***ing drowned me. I

0:34

promise.

0:35

You sure about that? There was room for

0:37

you. There was room and you killed me. We'll get to

0:39

that later. Hey guys, welcome back to the Halloween

0:42

in Thanksgiving episode. Because the

0:44

costumes came late.

0:47

Oh, sorry. Megan wants to say something.

0:49

I don't know. You never seen her. She

0:51

sounds a little more like a woman. Like

0:53

a little girl. Hi.

0:54

Hello. I'm Megan. Oh,

0:57

that was scary. And the tattoos peeking

0:59

through. It's very creepy. And your beard matching,

1:02

oddly working. I feel like when you

1:04

showed me, I felt, oh yeah, that's it. I look like

1:06

that. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. And

1:09

Chris is a pumpkin spice latte. Such

1:12

a gay one too. Yeah, he's a copyright

1:14

free pumpkin spice latte. I got him that

1:16

because he won't stop talking about how much he loves

1:18

pumpkin this year. It's like his thing. I love

1:21

pumpkin. I've always loved pumpkin and everything to

1:23

like such an annoying degree. I'm so sorry. It

1:25

has become your identity, which I'm fine with. I

1:27

like it too. Yeah. So basic. So

1:30

I know what you guys are thinking. Why are they doing this in Thanksgiving?

1:32

Well, I guess I already said it. Our costumes came late. But

1:35

yeah, I wanted to be the iconic couple,

1:37

Jack and Rose from Titanic. My favorite movie ever. I

1:39

have to say you killed your makeup. Like the icicles,

1:41

your hair is really

1:43

killing it. Like with the wet gel. The best

1:46

Etsy has to offer. I think I like you now more than ever.

1:48

Oh. Do you like me hypothermic and dead?

1:52

I agree. Although I heard

1:54

you gain weight when you get hypothermic and die. Because

1:56

your body puffs up. Like when they find bodies

1:58

at the bottom of oceans.

1:59

Oh, they're like puffed. They're like 200% beer.

2:02

And like, I don't use that. How embarrassing. Oh

2:06

my god. Not to wait shame the dead by the

2:08

way. Um, anyway, so yeah, Rose, by the

2:10

way, I was looking at pictures of Rose trying to

2:12

really mimic the look and you guys have the

2:14

same mold. I know me and Kate Winslet

2:17

is iconic duo. I wish

2:19

I could be in the same category as Kate Winslet.

2:22

I love her. Is she still doing it?

2:24

Is she still acting? Hello? Have you ever seen Avatar 2?

2:27

No, I haven't. Open your eyes.

2:29

Oh my god. I'm glad to hear that. Should

2:31

have made one of us an avatar. Oh my

2:34

god. That would have been so good. Okay,

2:37

so since it is so close to Thanksgiving, we should be

2:39

really celebrating family love

2:42

things to be thankful for. Yes.

2:44

I wanted to talk about something that was sent to me by a viewer name

2:46

Mariah. We're very thankful for you. And I'm very

2:48

thankful for this email. Hear

2:51

me out. I don't know why it's taken me so

2:53

long to submit this to you guys, but I would love to

2:55

hear your thoughts and feedback on this new trend

2:57

that's going viral on TikTok. I can't

3:00

wait. I'm going to play a video with no context.

3:02

Um, and you'll see why I'm so thankful for this.

3:04

Have you guys ever seen an egg made out of jizz?

3:07

Well, you're about to. What? My client sent in

3:09

his semen sample and we processed it

3:11

into a powder.

3:12

That's cum.

3:14

Yeah. He

3:17

wanted a simple showpiece for

3:19

himself to put up on his shelf. He

3:21

wanted an egg. Um, about the size

3:24

of a large chicken egg. So I created

3:26

this.

3:26

Wait, is he eating this? Wait,

3:28

what's up? I thought she's making a candy

3:30

or why does he need his sperm in

3:33

an egg on a shelf? Okay. Hold on. So many

3:35

questions. Let me just show you the second. Let me know.

3:37

Let's make a jizzy pearl necklace. What?

3:40

Wow. Seaman sample and putting

3:42

it into translucent clay. I think people overestimate

3:44

sometimes how much we actually need. You really

3:46

only need a teaspoon

3:47

and that's it.

3:50

So this is a called

3:53

jizz jewelry. And

3:55

there's, I think there's still working on the name. There gotta

3:58

be something fun. How do they turn on? Jizz

4:00

into a powder or is called Jizzie? Jizzie jewelry.

4:02

Okay. I like that one. Jizzie jewelry. Jizzie, you're

4:04

just kidding. So, there's a woman named Amanda Booth, and

4:07

she creates Jizzie jewelry. She asks you...

4:10

This was something that somebody asked her to do, and now

4:12

she's found her new niche. So you send her

4:14

a cum sample, she dehydrates

4:16

it. Wait, I'm gonna cum in a cup. Send

4:18

it to her and she'll turn it into a powder? That's

4:21

how many you said her. A

4:23

sample in an actual bottle. How the hell did

4:25

someone get it in that? I don't know. Oh my god, I just

4:28

copied and pasted that and put it somewhere. Shit. I didn't

4:30

even... You're a string

4:32

singer. And then she takes it, dehydrated,

4:34

you see that? It looks like drugs. And

4:36

then she turns it into, look at her cute little

4:39

necklaces. Dude, there's no

4:41

way... How many people are doing it? She gotta be the only

4:43

one, right? Is this a thing? I

4:46

think it's a client here. Oh, she definitely

4:48

is. We gotta be close to the source. And how

4:51

can we trust that she's not just whipping out

4:53

a powder after she says she's dehydrated

4:55

at it? Like, how do we trust that it's real? That's authentic.

4:57

Like, how do I know I'm wearing my own jizzy jewelry? I

5:00

don't want to shame, but I don't understand why anybody

5:02

would want this or need this. How

5:04

did we get here from Thanksgiving? Is it? Because

5:07

I'm thankful for TikTok,

5:10

for trends, for things that make me happy. And for this.

5:13

This really... Also, see me. This really

5:15

made my day. I just thought it was fun. I thought it was

5:17

interesting. I think it's a fun gag gift. Like,

5:20

I can wear your DNA. Like,

5:22

imagine giving someone a bracelet

5:24

and saying it's made out of my jizz. I think we should... You

5:26

should get one for Sandy. Actually,

5:28

that's a good idea, because this isn't that a thing now. Like,

5:30

friendship bracelets. People take those stupid bracelets

5:33

to concerts. You start giving people your jizz.

5:36

Whoa. And you just have power. It's

5:38

like when you jack off before you shake somebody's

5:41

hand you hate. I'm thinking, because Gwyneth Paltrow hasn't

5:43

already done something like this. Well, yeah,

5:45

I'm thankful for that. So, thank you, Mariah, for sending

5:47

that in and just really making my

5:49

holiday start rain. Okay,

5:52

I saw this and this is kind of like a serious

5:54

topic. But I really wanted to talk about it, because

5:56

I was like, Oh my God, that's me. Isn't it weird

5:59

how so many versions...

5:59

of you exist in people's mind.

6:02

Some know you as the shy person that doesn't talk.

6:04

Some see you as the annoying person that won't

6:06

shut up. Some see you cold and mean.

6:09

Others find you caring and kind. So

6:11

I was thinking about it and I was like, you know what? Yeah.

6:14

Because around certain family situations, I'm

6:17

kind of really quiet and shy. And then here

6:19

I'm loud and annoying won't shut up. And then

6:21

in other situations, I've never called in mean.

6:23

But I would say I'm uncomfortable and weird. Yeah,

6:26

that is interesting to me. Like

6:29

I wish I do wish everyone in

6:31

real life could also get like the

6:34

version of you when you're very close to somebody.

6:36

I'm not saying it's a bad thing. You're just a little

6:38

more shy and reserved. Okay. Is

6:40

that mean? No, it's true. It's true. It's the

6:43

truth. Or even like when you're in a relationship, like I saw this

6:45

meme or something on Instagram, and it was like this guy

6:47

and his girlfriend and he was like very like, you

6:49

know, cool guy. But then his girlfriend

6:51

was secretly recording him and he was like,

6:53

baby, do I take a picture of a

6:54

su guy?

7:18

I mean, it's like, I don't know. It's

7:20

like, I don't really know what to do if it's like a friend

7:24

and it's like a small get together like this. And like it's like

7:26

you and I were hanging out

7:28

and you were like, Oh, this is my friend, Chris. And like

7:30

I was introduced and like maybe I can talk. But if

7:32

it's a party with a lot of people, I

7:35

panic and I'm shy and I don't know, I

7:37

can't like, I have a very hard time talking at first. So

7:39

I'm oftentimes the guy at a party that's like

7:42

with a drink in the back, like by themselves. The reason I

7:44

was so fascinated by this is because

7:48

we're not talking. We're quiet. And you

7:50

would look at it from the outside and be like, Oh God, like

7:52

this is so boring. What are they doing? But for me, I enjoy

7:54

that. And I think it's like, yeah, I could say I'm

7:56

shy around certain groups of people, but in reality, I

7:59

think the real. me the genuine

8:01

real me is really quiet really

8:03

shy and like a little bit depressed and

8:05

I feel like when I'm that person around you It means

8:08

that I I love you. You're

8:10

comfortable, but you're also like falling

8:12

asleep You can only fall asleep when you're comfortable

8:14

somewhere, right? You're all asleep at someone's

8:16

house It's like people comfortable there, right? But

8:19

what fascinates me though is you're like also

8:21

so hilarious and so funny

8:23

and sometimes you just don't give that to people That's

8:26

with anything though, right? It's like

8:28

humor It's a reaction.

8:30

It's not an action. So like you have to be in

8:32

an environment. That's either Observationally

8:35

funny you have to be in a vibe

8:37

or else is what are you performing for people? You

8:39

know, I mean, so I'm I'm with you because

8:41

there are moments where I'm like Trying

8:43

being hilarious and whatnot as a party the next time

8:45

I'm not you know, but I'm

8:48

with you I get it. I didn't mean for this to get so deep.

8:50

Yeah, but it's a Thanksgiving episode I guess we might as well

8:52

with that voice, you know, it's getting deep That's

8:55

the it's getting deep boys Like

8:59

in the video like if people are different at different

9:02

stages of your life to like, you know

9:04

Before I was out and I was trying desperately hard to come

9:06

across what I thought a straight man I like that's

9:09

like a very different version of like my authentic

9:11

self now You know what I mean? Like so friends that met

9:13

me at that point and then we maybe haven't talked in

9:15

many years would meet me now to be Like you're not the

9:17

same person anymore. And I'm like, this is the real me

9:23

But yeah I mean people will experience

9:25

different versions of you also if you're just exhausted

9:27

or having a bad day or something I don't know.

9:29

I think I'm pretty consistent No,

9:38

I'm not saying that by any means but I like

9:40

I think you are more of like you're

9:42

very like punchline funny You're like more

9:45

like comedian almost whereas

9:47

like I'm pretty much like Even

9:50

kilterd all the way around like I'm never

9:52

like killing a room and I'm never

9:54

like bombing, you know, right But

9:56

that's also probably because we're so emotional like

9:58

things affect us and how No, I mean

10:00

yeah, no I get that I'll soak

10:02

up energies for sure. Yes, sometimes not

10:05

good energy. Yeah, I Get

10:07

moody for sure. Oh, yeah, no I

10:12

just plan thing at the comment section and somebody's like

10:15

I just know Ryland's a Karen sometimes

10:17

and I was like you're not wrong You

10:20

are like the other day you almost started a fistfight

10:22

in a parking lot because somebody took our spot And

10:24

I was like we can just park two seconds away. Yeah,

10:27

you're right. Yeah, yeah, but our principal

10:29

You gotta fuck them up Being

10:32

consistent. Yeah, like today when

10:34

that person was going 15 under the speed limit I was

10:36

gonna run him off the fucking road and I'm like

10:38

listen 500 the speed limit fine But 15

10:41

I got to be my fucking Karen you tailgate

10:44

so hard If

10:48

you're going 15 under the speed limit you're asking

10:51

for me to ride your ass I know so we

10:53

were in the car today So we have our car seats our baby

10:55

kerosene things as we're trying them out and we were

10:57

driving around and he's tailgating Somebody to the point

10:59

of almost crashing literally we're on a street

11:02

where so many people have died that it's haunted

11:04

Okay, well haunted Street. How spooky

11:06

did you guys are driving? What

11:11

are you guys doing like When

11:17

bitch in front of me is going 15 under

11:19

the speed limit we're only going 30 my babies

11:21

are fine Maybe she's she's memorializing

11:23

somebody on this ad road and that's what I have

11:25

to remind myself give them grace Maybe

11:28

they're having a bad day, but I just you

11:30

know sometimes my blood boils and the Karen jumps

11:32

right out. It really does Hey,

11:36

sorry to interrupt the show I know what you're thinking Shane

11:39

Why are you wearing a pink beanie is it to match

11:41

your hope you enjoy whatever the hell this is hoodie

11:44

on sale now? No, it's because my

11:46

hair is fucked up Like

11:49

I know usually when I do a hair story ad I'm showing you

11:51

guys my hair and I'm like look what it did to me Look I would

11:53

change my life. This is gonna be a little bit different.

11:55

This is gonna give you the worst case scenario This is

11:57

gonna show you what my life is like without

12:00

hair story. So I actually ran out of it a couple

12:02

days ago. I ordered it. I was like, I need my hair

12:04

story right now because I washed my hair

12:06

with shampoo the other

12:08

day. I know I had to wash it with something.

12:11

And all I had was like dandruff shampoo and

12:13

it completely fucked up my hair. Like my

12:15

hair is so bad, so bad

12:17

that Ryland even said, what's going on? And he never

12:19

noticed this stuff like that. So I cannot wait till my hair story

12:21

gets here because I've been wearing beanies. I've

12:24

been putting my hood up and it really did show me how

12:26

much hair story has done for my life and for my

12:28

head. So yeah, today's podcast is sponsored by

12:30

hair story. So if you don't already know hair story

12:32

makes something called NuWash, which has changed my

12:34

life. It's not a shampoo. It's a cleansing cream

12:36

and here's how it works. So when you're in the shower, instead of

12:39

doing the shampoo and the conditioner and all those

12:41

steps, all you have to do is use NuWash. It cleans

12:43

your hair. It doesn't strip it of anything. There's no

12:45

chemicals in it. Normal shampoo is full of chemicals.

12:47

It strips your hair. That's why they tell you don't wash your

12:49

hair more than like twice a week because

12:52

of what shampoo does to your hair. I mean, should

12:54

I take the beanie off? Do you want to see this? Let me just show

12:56

you. This is what shampoo does to your hair. What

13:01

is happening? Did I use a crimper?

13:04

Okay. Okay. Now I'm self-conscious. Oh, this is bad.

13:06

Ooh. Okay. This is

13:10

a mess. Should I just re-film this when my hair story comes?

13:12

No, no. I'm going to keep it real. This is my

13:14

life right now. So NuWash uses all natural

13:16

ingredients, nothing chemically. Aloe vera,

13:19

sunflower seed oil, different oils that'll

13:21

help your hair not hurt it. So if you haven't tried

13:23

NuWash yet, please check it out. I promise you

13:25

will love it. Just go to hairstory.com

13:27

and use code GROWER to enjoy 20% exclusive

13:30

savings when you try NuWash for yourself. That's

13:32

hairstory.com and use code GROWER

13:34

at checkout. So please give it a try. I promise you won't

13:36

regret it. And I am going to go shove my head in

13:38

a hole and never look at anybody until

13:41

my NuWash comes. Bye. Let's

13:45

jump into some of your guys'

13:47

emails and voicemails. Okay. This

13:50

is so cute. So this is from Chelsea and she said

13:52

that she met me and Ryland six years

13:54

ago on the Santa Monica pier. Wow. And

13:56

I have pictures. So here we go. So here's

13:58

the three of us. No. My

14:00

gosh, I got so wasted that night Yeah,

14:04

and then that's your her. Yeah, you were oh

14:06

my gosh That was in our new remember you we

14:08

got so drunk and we wanted to try this burrito

14:11

I know and you were so full and drunk

14:13

and sick that you made yourself throw up so we could go get

14:15

a burrito I was I was all Mary And

14:19

then here's a picture of her and her

14:21

husband now wearing growing Oh The

14:25

couples wearing the matching merch is so

14:27

cute everything. I love it so much. So

14:30

shout out Chelsea. We love you Okay. Next

14:32

this was kind of like sexy Look

14:38

at me. This is from Robin shout out

14:40

Robin for sending me this email She said my

14:43

boyfriend Dave is a hot ass

14:45

sexy grower and I could farm his

14:47

crop all day long Absolutely

14:50

addicted to the podcast been a fan for 10 years now

14:52

and your mergers iconic and she sent a picture

14:55

of her and her boyfriend In the

14:57

grower merch and look at them. This is honestly

14:59

so cute Are

15:01

wearing the matching shirt and the

15:04

way that it came about? Like

15:06

this might be the best set that has ever

15:09

come to fruition out of your merch line.

15:11

Yeah, I love it So thank you so much. That was like I love

15:13

that. I love like the you know, cuz usually

15:15

it's like a It's like my husband's a girl.

15:17

Yeah, I love that too, but she's like She

15:21

loved it. The mission is working I

15:23

guess it is kind of satisfying like

15:25

if no I'm just saying like if you go from

15:27

soft to hard and you feel like oh I did that

15:29

cuz they're such a good payoff Right, you

15:32

know, okay Okay,

15:35

this is from Araby she said that she hopes

15:37

this makes it on the podcast She loves the podcast

15:39

and on her bumble She

15:41

mentions our podcast because she thinks that

15:44

if they don't get her humor and they don't watch a podcast And

15:46

they're not for her. That's amazing. That is of

15:48

the biggest honor. So here is her bumble page It

15:50

says I'm tired of this grandpa I'm

15:56

honestly just trying to find somebody who will wear grower

15:58

and farmer merch Look at that! I

16:01

take pictures of the Bunyan Pass with me, bonus points if

16:03

you know what I'm talking about. I love that that's

16:05

like something to aspire, like a couple that's

16:07

so strong that we're the matching rowers.

16:10

But also, if you don't know about the podcast, would

16:12

you be like, what? Well,

16:14

that's a good conversation starter. They can be

16:17

like, hey, what does your bio mean? Right. And she can

16:19

send a link to our podcast. It's great promotion.

16:21

Well, I thought that was great. And if you find love, please let us

16:23

know so that we can, you know, be a part of

16:25

it. Oh, okay. This is from Aries. Interesting.

16:27

I've never heard that name. Aries. Like Aries. With

16:30

a Z. I like that. They said, hey, Jane, I

16:32

saw this plant in my town and it reminded me of the

16:34

grower merch and I thought I'd send it. And it's a positive

16:36

plant. Now, okay, listen, I have

16:39

an issue with this. Yeah, because it's a grower that's

16:41

a shower. Yeah, it's a grower. It's

16:43

a... It's a... It's

16:45

a... It's not a cusp of showing

16:47

more than still growing. Yeah, I mean, it's

16:49

hanging down past the ball sack. It's fine. But

16:54

that doesn't mean that it's not a grower because if

16:56

it grew five times the size, then it's still a grower. No,

16:58

but come on. Like, we're talking about the majority

17:01

of growers here. We don't want them to lean

17:03

in. We want them to be all in on this. Yeah,

17:06

that's lean in. I want somebody to be like, is that a fucking

17:08

belly button? So we're ostracizing the

17:10

grower. What I will say, though, is they did get the

17:12

little, like, fupa right. The

17:14

little fat... That, like, fat

17:16

chunk. I don't have any of

17:19

these. You're making me feel like I'm not a grower. You don't have a fat

17:21

fupa chunk? Well, you're skinny. No. Um,

17:23

okay. This was interesting, and

17:25

I wanted to read this because I've had this

17:28

on my list for almost six

17:30

months, and I keep not reading it. I'm going to finally read

17:32

this. This is an email from Tori. And

17:35

the subject is, uncircumcised dicks are hot.

17:37

Fair enough. True. Okay,

17:39

LOL. Tori, and I've been watching this

17:42

week's episode. I have some opinions on circumcision

17:45

to make men feel better. I think uncircumcised

17:48

shit is so hot. I don't

17:50

know what it is about that extra skin. It's

17:52

just me on. Now, if they have shmegma,

17:55

they could eat dick cheese. That's when I'm

17:57

like, clean your dick. Am I weird to say that

17:59

I'd like it?

17:59

to clean a guy's dick for him, I feel like

18:02

that's a loving favor to do for a partner. I

18:04

also think that would turn me on as well. Now obviously,

18:06

uncircumcised men are hot too, and dick is

18:09

still dick. I'm sorry, love the podcast. Wow,

18:11

she loves a dick. Wow. So

18:13

I wanted to share that because I feel like we don't talk about uncircumcised

18:15

dicks. Are you uncircumcised? No. You

18:17

don't remember his traumatizing story? Right, because we got circumcised

18:20

as an adult. I feel like we don't talk about it enough, and

18:22

I just want to give a shout out to all those uncircumcised

18:24

growers out there. Shout out. Yeah, because

18:26

that must be... Probably more uncircumcised

18:28

men in the world than not. Yeah. It's

18:31

very America. I loved her, just dick

18:33

is dick. Amen. Dick

18:35

is dick. Amen. Yeah. All

18:38

dicks are good dicks. How would you respond to that being

18:40

dicks? That was like a text from a friendship.

18:43

Cool, LOL. But I am... Okay,

18:45

so I have some voicemails. Now

18:48

this first one... Oh, I'm just gonna

18:50

play it.

18:50

Hi Shane. So my

18:52

boyfriend is very, very risky. And

18:55

we've been caught multiple times making

18:57

out in my car by his aunt.

19:01

But the worst thing is that whenever

19:03

we have sex, we do it in his bed.

19:06

And sometimes I squirt, and whenever

19:09

his mom comes over to sleep,

19:12

she sleeps in his bed. And she

19:14

found the chains, and

19:17

also we're having sex. So I don't know if I should

19:19

be worried about that. Please

19:22

give me advice. Thank you guys so much, and

19:24

I love the podcast. Okay, bye, love y'all.

19:26

I think you need a second set of sheets. Yeah,

19:29

put some plastic down. And just wash

19:31

the sheet. No, like I mean there's a lot of options. Well,

19:34

the stains. Yeah, there's so many options.

19:36

There has to be so many options. In between the squirting

19:39

and the mom getting in the bed. That's just

19:41

a mandatory, that's gotta go. Well,

19:44

I can leave a stain though. Even

19:46

if it's washed, Shane has a good point. It could still leave the stain,

19:48

but I still like having a backup set of sheets.

19:50

You pop one off, you pop one on. Yeah, Shane's

19:53

sheet. I think the mom would know what it is. Like, hey, is that a fact

19:55

word? That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't know if I'd worry about

19:57

it. I guess squirters are a squirter. I

20:00

think that's not cool for the mom personally.

20:03

I don't why the mom's sleeping

20:05

in his head weird No,

20:09

exactly guys are coming girls are squirt

20:11

and it's not a safe place. Yeah

20:14

clean or change the sheet We got a solution.

20:17

We just really analyze that you know to understand

20:19

I There's one bed available.

20:21

I guess this is their bed that she sleeps

20:24

in yeah, that's what I'm confused about wise mom There's no

20:26

option for to sleep anywhere else. There's not like

20:28

a couch. That's what I'm saying There's something going

20:31

on here. I don't know the word no more happy Thanksgiving

20:34

Next voicemail. Oh my god. It's me

20:36

again the guy from Baker so Make

20:39

yourself. I need your guys to help

20:42

my friend married a gay

20:45

guy like one of those in the closet

20:47

gay guys And

20:49

I have a question should I

20:51

tell her or should I just let

20:53

him be you should have told her before she got married

20:55

I need your guys to help please help me out that

20:59

is E

21:02

I feel like everyone like whenever this

21:04

happens I feel like I

21:06

at least give a couple hints. I'm like we

21:08

sure ever this happen How many times

21:11

I feel like twice in my life, okay? I

21:13

try not to meddle in others relationships

21:15

at all no matter what You know

21:18

it's like would you tell your friend if you saw them

21:20

getting cheated on yeah? Would

21:22

you is this like the same thing or like

21:25

I don't know enough about the well like me I

21:27

just feel like it's a recipe for disaster

21:30

You're gonna get hurt way more in the long

21:32

run if the guy is in fact gay

21:34

after you built a life with this person Had kids

21:37

with this person fell more in love with this person,

21:39

so it's like if you're not gonna ask the hard questions Maybe

21:42

I should hint at the hard questions.

21:44

I Think I would let them figure

21:47

it out between themselves personally I think

21:49

what your best friend, but maybe there's

21:51

a way to say cuz you listen if you're

21:53

in a relationship with a gay guy Who's actually

21:56

a gay guy pretending to not be a gay guy, and

21:58

you're willing to marry them kind of of secretly

22:00

knowing that something is often there's kind of something

22:02

with you that you need to talk about in therapy. Usually

22:05

the woman knows or knows

22:08

and they choose a gay guy because

22:11

of a safety thing, comfortable,

22:14

they want to be with somebody that is like they

22:16

know it's either it's usually a reason. It's usually

22:18

not a totally random thing where it's like I had no

22:21

idea that he was always

22:23

kind and even if it's not spoken out

22:25

loud, they have a hundred. It's like my

22:27

mom always knew I was gay before I confirmed

22:29

it. You know? Well see my parents didn't know at all.

22:32

That's the thing. Like I know gay

22:34

men who have like zero tells and no one knows.

22:36

I know gay men from high school who still

22:38

aren't out and are gay and are fucking dudes on Grindr

22:41

and stuff but like no one to this day knows

22:43

that they're gay and no one would ever think it because they have zero

22:45

tells and like if they were in a relationship,

22:48

I don't know. I feel like they could trick someone into

22:50

thinking they're straight. But if you're a guy

22:52

who and this is getting really deep in it but if you're

22:54

a guy who is so good at hiding that you're

22:56

gay

22:57

and you're out fucking guys on Grindr, would

22:59

you really want

23:00

to get married? I feel like guys who

23:02

want to get married to a woman are guys who are like religious

23:05

or have an issue with it and probably not out

23:07

to themselves yet but if they're actually fucking

23:09

guys on Grindr. Yeah, I don't think guys that

23:11

are fucking guys are marrying girls. Sometimes

23:14

culturally, sometimes jobs are super homophobic

23:16

sometimes for a million factors they feel the

23:18

need to. They feel like they have to. And

23:20

I think if I know that your soon to be

23:22

husband is matter of fact fucking guys,

23:24

I'm definitely going to go in there and ruin that shit for you.

23:27

Right. Okay, well speaking of

23:29

divorce. Dude,

23:33

right segue. Let's have another fight

23:35

with Jamie Rylan. You

23:37

have another one? Okay, so this is sent

23:39

to us. Well, here. Oh, this is a solution.

23:42

So this is going to be a fight and we have to referee it. Thank

23:44

God I love the new segment.

23:46

Hey, Rylan is saying this is for

23:48

the fighting podcast, I guess. So

23:50

I have a fight that me my husband

23:52

had. So I recently flooded the house because

23:55

I kind of had a little drunk and I think my

23:57

medication mixed with alcohol and

23:59

I felt the boost. shower. So I flooded

24:03

the house. Okay.

24:05

But he could have checked on me. You know, I was asleep

24:08

for like about an hour or two and it

24:10

was a stand shower, but I

24:12

feel like he could have checked on me and

24:15

yeah, I didn't think he should be mad. I mean,

24:18

I don't know. We did have to pay like $6,000 in

24:20

repair, but luckily we had house insurance.

24:23

But yeah, I hope you guys are on my

24:25

side, not his. Love you and

24:27

congrats on the train.

24:28

I have questions.

24:31

I think she just admitted to house

24:33

insurance fraud, which is, wait, really? I

24:35

don't see if you fall asleep

24:38

and leave your shit on. They probably had to say that

24:41

the plumbing broke. Well, okay. I have a question. She,

24:44

okay, hold on. She was drunk and

24:46

high on pills or something and fell

24:48

asleep in the shower and flooded the house. It

24:50

got mad at him. Why would the, why

24:53

would the house flood if she's

24:55

in a shower? She said it's a standing shower.

24:57

So it's lower. So did her body

25:00

fall on the drain? Yeah. That's a

25:02

good logistical question.

25:04

He must've been pretty fucked up to not wake

25:07

up with it. Like how would her body

25:09

fall on? Was her ass on the drain?

25:11

Like I'm trying to like visualize how this happened.

25:13

Yeah. How most my shower,

25:16

if I fell, I would fall through a door or

25:19

my body would just

25:21

down and it would definitely cover the vent. Okay.

25:24

So I guess, yeah, I think

25:26

it had to be covering the vent for it to, uh,

25:29

to flood. Why is she mad at him? Cause

25:32

she thinks he should have checked on her for

25:35

taking an hours long shower, which

25:37

I will say like, if I knew you

25:39

were showering and it had been like an hour

25:42

and a half, I'd be like, what the fuck is he doing?

25:44

So I might walk up there, but maybe he was watching a movie.

25:47

I feel like, what if she died or something?

25:49

It was medicine and alcohol. Like that could we,

25:52

I think my side, I think, okay.

25:54

I don't know if I'm on

25:56

her side. I think my checked on her. I think my

25:59

thing, if I was.

25:59

your partner, I would be like,

26:02

okay, well, if we're taking our medication

26:05

and drinking, maybe we shouldn't be

26:07

showering. Would you give me the stuff that you

26:09

shouldn't? Oh, he had to have been drunk. He

26:11

had to have been high and drunk and passed out himself. Did

26:13

she say it was something she doesn't normally do? I'm trying

26:15

not to judge. I do think, though, that if

26:17

your husband was asleep, then you can't really

26:20

get mad at him. You know, like, what is

26:22

he supposed to do? Well, no, she's upset he's mad

26:24

at her. Oh. He wanted him

26:26

just to not be mad and be like, this is fine,

26:28

babe. This should happen. People should be

26:30

able to have anger without directing it

26:32

at an individual. I think maybe he's

26:34

just really upset at the circumstance.

26:38

And he should maybe work on not directing his

26:40

anger to a doctor. Maybe call your doctor and

26:43

see what medication that is. Yeah.

26:45

And if a bummer, like, a flooded house sucks.

26:48

Yeah. Because then you have to get the walls checked

26:50

for moisture. Did we already

26:53

talk about, I think we did. I lived in a hotel for six

26:55

months because of it. Oof. Did

26:57

we talk about when I passed out in the shower? We

26:59

did. We did. I think we

27:01

did. And I was naked in Florida. Nevermind.

27:04

No. What? No, it was on mom's

27:06

40th birthday. Did we talk about that? What? I

27:09

don't know. I don't remember. I think you were

27:11

there or maybe you were. I should have been. Long

27:14

story short, I passed out in the shower, cracked my head open

27:16

on the closet and then my mom came in on her 40th

27:18

birthday. Happy birthday, Mom. Shout out.

27:21

Blood everywhere. She thought I was dead. At

27:23

least the house in blood. Yeah. And then she

27:25

turned around. And my head was just a big

27:27

open. Oh my God. I think you were there.

27:30

How old were you? If I wasn't there, I do remember

27:32

being notified, but I

27:34

remember it. It was crazy, but I got to stay home

27:36

for like a month. Why'd you pass in? I do

27:39

that sometimes. But it's not medication. I just passed out

27:41

a lot. Or not a lot. But I used to. Not

27:44

in the seven years I've known you. It's been a couple

27:46

times. Anyways. What?

27:49

I get dehydrated. Oh. Humid.

27:52

Inhumidity, I panic attack. Yeah.

27:55

If there's humid air, I'm passing out, baby. You

27:57

almost passed out yesterday because of it. my

28:00

muses be okay. Electrolyte. Did

28:03

I ruin your headphones? Well you should have been using

28:05

Raycons because the quality is so good. My scream

28:08

just now wouldn't have blown off your eardrums. It would have

28:10

been like echoey and beautiful and

28:12

going through your head. That actually sounds horrible.

28:15

But whatever, you get my point. Today's episode is sponsored by

28:17

Raycon. Let me explain how amazing Raycon

28:19

is. Don't go anywhere. Let me explain. So when I do one

28:21

of these sponsorships they send me a paper and I'm supposed

28:23

to kind of go over all the things that they want me to talk

28:25

about and see what I do is I ignore that

28:27

and I talk about whatever the fuck and I hope to god

28:29

they don't see this and request me to make

28:31

changes. But with Raycon I actually did start reading this

28:34

and one of the ideas they had they said it

28:36

may be too early to start decorating for the holidays but

28:38

it's never too early to start your holiday shopping and

28:40

I was like wow Raycon do you know me at all? I

28:42

started decorating for Christmas in October.

28:45

I started holiday shopping in last

28:47

Christmas. I literally the night after

28:49

Christmas I went online and I went to all

28:51

the sales and I started buying gifts for the next year.

28:54

That's how psychotic I am. I mean that's how much I love Christmas.

28:56

That's how festive I am. That's how it's healthier. So yes

28:58

if you're like me and you want to start holiday shopping early

29:01

check out Raycon because you could literally save

29:03

up to 50% on their site right now because

29:05

they're having an early Black Friday sale. So you've

29:07

seen me talk about them before. I've shown you clips

29:09

of me using them in the gym which I regret

29:12

because yuck. But I wanted to show you how

29:14

amazing they were and how

29:16

they could even make me look cool. Raycons

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are amazing. They are so affordable and they're

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high quality so just because they're affordable

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doesn't mean they're cheap. They're amazing quality. You

29:25

could literally get... Oh my god. For

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the price of one pair of other headphones

29:30

that are out in the world you could get like two

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pairs of Raycons. That's how affordable they are. They also don't just

29:34

come in white. They come in black. They come in rose

29:36

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out of your ears when you're running on the treadmill or running

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slash grower to get up to 50% off. So

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check it out, save some money, get the beanie on. The

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really cool pinky ones, they're so cute. They match your

30:11

beanie! I'm never wearing this beanie again.

30:14

All right, enjoy the rest of the episode. Bye!

30:17

Okay. Oh

30:20

my god, you guys are gonna hate me. Now listen, before

30:22

we get into the real food

30:25

tasting of it all. Okay. Sarah

30:27

sent me an email and said, Hey, I know,

30:29

hey, I know that Chris does not

30:32

like eating bananas in front of straight people. I don't

30:34

remember that conversation. Yes, that's a thing.

30:36

No, I don't know. I'm just like, there are certain

30:39

things that make me feel weird. Like

30:41

putting, I don't know, putting chapstick on in front of people

30:43

makes me feel weird. Eating bananas in front

30:45

of people. So this is straight torture for Chris?

30:48

Wait, is it straight people or is it anybody? Especially

30:51

straight people. I don't know why. And

30:53

like, and like, You can work that out with your therapist. I

30:56

need a second. Okay. All

30:59

right. Well, Sarah says that she

31:01

has a new way for Chris to eat bananas. Okay.

31:04

So I'm going to show you guys this TikTok. But

31:06

I'm only going to show you the first five seconds of this, because the

31:08

way she eats a banana is kind of confusing and I don't think

31:10

it's gonna work. Thank you, Sarah. Wow, I

31:12

can't imagine what I'm about to see. But let me

31:14

show you something really fun. Good

31:16

morning. I'm going to demonstrate how I open and

31:18

eat a banana. First of all.

31:20

Secondly. What? I've

31:25

seen that. How? Like

31:27

this? I don't know, but we're trying it. I think the goal

31:30

is just to go as fast and quick as possible. Well, I know.

31:32

I was going to show you how I open a banana. Oh,

31:34

oh, you just. I, so,

31:36

okay. You know what? I'll show you how I open

31:39

a banana and then you guys try the head thing. No! So this is how

31:41

I do it. Ready? Whoa.

31:46

Isn't that crazy? It's like a carnival. It does

31:48

it like perfectly. Yeah. I

31:51

thought it was going to like explode or like something. Or

31:53

like. So yeah, that's how I open a banana. Oh my God. And

31:55

then I have half and I put half in the fridge. Why did that

31:57

blow my mind? Okay. So

32:00

let's try the head one so she just went boom

32:02

wait. I feel like it's what you're doing

32:05

like this Yeah, I tried she went back

32:07

her technique is just um

32:13

Okay Yeah,

32:23

I gotta commit I just gotta commit stop

32:25

bullshit and Jared one

32:30

It like creates a dent in your banana, so

32:32

if you don't eat it right away

32:35

I

32:41

feel like the half you leave out has like a forehead

32:43

dent your method is much better, right? Just

32:46

pulling it with force Go

32:49

into a 7-eleven and do that Okay,

32:51

now this is another thing I saw that

32:54

you like lemons right loam You

33:02

would say you're a big old lemon lover connoisseur

33:04

big old lemon head really well. I'm gonna play

33:06

you a little video Your

33:12

blender add an entire lemon three dates

33:15

a small piece of ginger a dash of cinnamon A

33:17

splash

33:18

of vanilla a tablespoon of olive oil

33:20

a tablespoon of honey I thought the

33:22

cup and a half of water one day I'm high

33:24

for 30 seconds or until completely smooth

33:26

like a wellness shot I'm gonna love it a whole

33:29

lemon with the peel And

33:32

notice how rich and creamy it With

33:36

the whole fucking thing with this is not

33:39

a weird deal. I'm into

33:41

it. Well here we go, baby. I made some earlier

33:45

Nice now I did look at the comments and

33:47

it said that dentists do not approve of this and I

33:49

yeah strips your teeth because all the Yeah,

33:52

lately I've been doing like a ton of lemon

33:54

water when I first wake up and I've noticed my

33:57

teeth like feel like there's a layer Oh, it's

33:59

not Good for it. That much

34:01

acid is bad. It's like a fucking smoothie.

34:04

Yeah. Oh, it looks really nice though. Here we go. Happy

34:06

lemon. I

34:09

just feel like I'm gonna dye my gird. It's gonna kill me.

34:12

You know? No, that's not it. Oh, I mean it's not good.

34:14

Ah! That ain't it though. Oh my god!

34:16

Oh my god! I would like it if we

34:18

didn't do the peel. Like, the peel really good. Like, if

34:21

we peeled the lemon. Well, that's the point. She

34:23

likes the peel. That's why it's crazy. When

34:25

it settles down, it has kind of a nice

34:27

flavor. But it's like really harsh off

34:30

the rip. I don't know. That was the grossest thing I

34:32

think I've ever had. The peel does get like stuck in places

34:34

in your ass. Please stop making bougie

34:36

shit like this, like you're really drinking people. We know

34:38

you ain't drinking that. But please keep doing it and send it to us.

34:41

Yeah, do it and try it at least. Do you guys know who Adrienne

34:43

Balanis? Hell yeah. Oh, no. No,

34:45

I don't. You don't? Why'd you

34:47

say oh like you did? You know who she is. It was a quick fake

34:50

out. You'll know who she is. Okay. Adrienne Balan. So

34:52

she is from Cheetah Girls. She was in 3LW.

34:54

Sing bop, sing bop bop. Did

34:59

anybody do that? She was on the reel? On the reel of the

35:01

season? So she is known. Sunny News right

35:03

now. So she is also known for having

35:06

weird flavor combinations. Ooh.

35:08

And she posted this video. And I cannot believe it's

35:11

not viral. And well,

35:13

let me just show you it.

35:15

Next we are going to go in with. I

35:19

love her. Guy's good old canned

35:21

chicken noodle soup. My

35:23

son loves this. And one day I was making

35:25

it for him. I just felt like oh this is so

35:27

boring. This is so basic. He says

35:30

what do you have in the fridge that

35:32

can make this like. Self.

35:33

I knew she was going to dance. And

35:36

I found some hazelnut creamer. What?

35:45

What? And so. Lana

35:48

on the sidelines. Have

35:51

you ever had tum yum tea? Like

35:54

what? It's not

35:56

tum yum soup. It's soup. That's

35:59

the vibe.

35:59

Oh Fucking

36:02

amazing We're gonna be sick.

36:05

Yeah All right. So

36:07

oh shoot. I mean it's already gonna be gross

36:09

because it's cold and that's good That's what adrian

36:11

said when her crew tasted it and they said it was disgusting.

36:13

She said it's because it's cold Oh man, I feel

36:15

like a barista. So she did kind of a lot

36:18

Okay, are you guys ready? I feel like I might barf.

36:21

Yeah, this is rough. I might barf Okay,

36:23

even without the three two one Oh Adrian

36:30

man, you must be high as fucking mad shit.

36:32

I like it. Do you? I love

36:34

it Shut up It

36:37

tastes like creamy corn chowder.

36:40

Oh my god. Think about the good. I don't want

36:42

to think about it I don't want to think about it.

36:44

Think about the corn chowder at el chorido

36:47

On sundays the brunch. I would say good.

36:49

I think maybe there's a combination that works

36:51

in there, but I don't think I got it I'm

36:53

in. Well, don't worry. We have something to wash it out.

36:56

Okay, we have something else for you. All right, here

36:58

we go So let's go to something that

37:00

I think is kind of basic. Okay for me

37:04

And it is drinking. Well, you know

37:06

that I love A good hawaiian

37:08

pizza. Me too. I love

37:10

bacon pineapple is Basic

37:13

pineapple. I love a hawaiian pizza.

37:15

Yeah, me too. Do I love some bacon

37:18

pineapple? But I also make why

37:20

did you get the cream or tea?

37:22

That I dip it into what

37:24

It's too much

37:26

cream. Are you kidding me? I

37:29

love her. She's just a troll This

37:32

can't be real She's putting hot

37:34

sauce on the cream. This is a troll. Like

37:37

this is not real. Well, it says she mixes

37:39

it She

37:41

really don't suck it Well,

37:44

we have here no this is

37:47

basic come on This is basic

37:49

come on We have the

37:51

pizza. It's like she's messing with people

37:53

right like she has to be I I

37:55

thought maybe she was until I tried that soup

37:57

And i'm like tim yum. Yes How

38:01

do you come up with this like ready whip

38:03

and hot sauce on pizza you come

38:05

from Disney Channel You'd know a lot of fucked up. Yes.

38:08

Did you already try it?

38:09

Megan

38:10

we're trying it Jared never wait

38:12

her malfunction Okay,

38:14

you other girls. Let's cheer so wait. She mixes

38:17

it like this I've been

38:19

mixing I just I'm dying to try

38:21

this. You put ranch but ranch in chalula

38:23

is good Yeah, but that's cool. All right, three

38:26

two one. Let's go

38:29

No, no

38:32

Okay, this is a no. No,

38:35

but at least I can swallow it I could

38:43

Adrian I see where you're going Keep

38:50

your weird tears. What is wrong with

38:52

I'll be basic all fucking day.

38:55

I don't think I'll ever be able to eat pizza again All right. Well,

38:57

don't worry. There's only one more thing. Oh Hey

39:02

This is the this is the fucking

39:04

finale. This is the it's all from the same video.

39:07

This is all from the sink Yeah,

39:09

that's rough Fucking

39:12

my stomach. Okay. Yeah, give us a finale.

39:14

No What no,

39:16

what is she doing? Oh, and we've got chocolate

39:19

milk. So that's tuna. No, just

39:21

shame I Can

39:26

now hold on here I'm going,

39:29

you know, I'm a dipper so dipping it are you

39:33

I hate her

39:34

Why are you like this? What happened

39:37

to you? Yeah Fucking

39:40

sick and twisted. Oh Adrian.

39:42

What is wrong with you for the benefit of the doubt

39:45

I will say Oh Here's

39:49

your all say it's a lot. Oh

39:51

gosh, the smells coming through she needs like therapy

39:53

It's a lot more fun to just watch her

39:55

eat these things and be presented with the food.

39:57

She's trying you

40:00

give somebody when they're in a coma they like wake

40:02

up that's how bad it's ending

40:04

so yeah this is so

40:07

bad and this is just a tuna

40:09

oh

40:09

my god wait what tuna is this?

40:14

what tuna did you buy?

40:17

I can't even see it happen yeah did you got a season

40:20

this there's like pepper in it I eat

40:22

tuna regularly and it doesn't

40:24

look like this how much how

40:26

much a good a good amount

40:29

I'm gonna I'm gonna cheer me

40:31

she really likes to make things creamy

40:34

and sweet I'm gonna find it ready

40:36

oh okay I'm ready Jared you put

40:39

on your will get this alright

40:43

I'm just gonna hope for the best three two one no

40:46

no I don't know if I can do it oh

40:49

I don't know if I can do it I like it

40:52

honestly I like

40:54

it like fish with with

40:57

a little something yeah oh

41:00

I certainly have me so feeling over oh

41:05

this is the most subtle one all right I like

41:07

it what it's like how much did you make

41:09

it a soup Chris how much chocolate oh

41:11

my god they're throwing

41:13

it up into a soup can't wait should I oh

41:16

hold on no that's the worst thing I've ever had in my

41:18

life what I'm just I'm

41:21

just fixing it I need some oh my god

41:23

this trash oh my god I go to like the big trash

41:26

cadrian oh I was

41:28

eat the beefy alone till in my mouth I can still

41:30

take that's what I'm saying cleanse yourself that's

41:32

good put the whipped cream in hot

41:35

sauce I will no longer

41:37

be tortured put the whipped cream in hot sauce in Adrian you

41:40

hear me don't encourage your wow well

41:42

thank you so much Adrian by lawn for please

41:45

never make another one I can't do this again make

41:47

so many more I enjoy watching hers

41:50

I just don't enjoy doing it myself let's get let's

41:52

be funny and make it delicious next time what

41:54

if we did like cheese

41:57

and bread Yeah,

42:00

yeah, what about that? Oh, that was great.

42:02

That was awful. Alright, well we're gonna take

42:05

a quick little break. I'm gonna finish that soup. I'm

42:07

gonna wake him up. Well,

42:09

I'm conspiracy. See you in a second. Oh,

42:13

hi. Alright, sorry to interrupt the show again, but I'm

42:15

gonna give some love to our sponsor today, which is Seekieke.

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Um, where'd you go? I'm on site. I

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asked you to come in. I didn't hear you. You

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and you, like, nodded. No, I didn't. Yes,

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you did! They saw it! It's on camera. Caught

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you. 4K. Okay,

43:22

whatever. My question was, how many times have you

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seen Taylor Swift? Oh, well, three. And

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how many times did you see Geek? Every single

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time. And you saved money? Oh my gosh.

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Every time. Okay, good. Because you still spent

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thousands of dollars, but you... He hung

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up on me. Cough failed. Is my marriage

43:38

okay? Whatever. Anyways,

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yes. He has saved hundreds of dollars with

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43:44

Taylor Swift, and when you think about it that way, you're like, Okay,

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44:02

Enjoy your concert or your show. And I'm gonna go

44:04

figure out why my husband is avoiding me.

44:06

It's probably my hair. I figured it out. Okay.

44:10

Okay. You're welcome.

44:14

Sorry, it just really stinks in here.

44:17

Welcome back to Conspiracy Corner.

44:19

Okay, so this first thing is not really

44:22

a conspiracy, but when I tell you how

44:24

angry I got when I found this out, this blew

44:26

my mind. So, okay, what would

44:29

you say is my number one used emoji ever? Oh,

44:33

ah, the cry laugh? I never

44:36

use that. What are you talking about?

44:38

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me just see. Okay.

44:40

I'll let you know. The most used

44:43

emoji ever is the praying

44:45

hands. High

44:47

fives. Well, that's the theory.

44:50

Oh, literally the praying hands.

44:53

Now, this is not confirmed and Apple has not confirmed

44:56

or debunked this. Very smart. The praying

44:58

hands literally might be

45:00

a high five. Wait, what? Oh,

45:04

and the things that you thought were God, like

45:06

the light, it's the friction,

45:09

the motion of the high five. Whoa.

45:12

Yeah. So someone texted like, Hey, so-and-so passed

45:14

away. You're like, high five. You

45:16

know, yeah, I've sent high

45:19

fives to your mom. Yeah. If

45:22

someone said the high five, yeah, I'm

45:24

conveying the wrong thing off it. That's terrifying.

45:26

But here's the weird thing I will say, because

45:28

I've thought about this. If you type

45:31

in pray into your iPhone,

45:33

this emoji will generate. Well,

45:35

but did it at first? You know what

45:37

I mean? That's it? I guess. Probably like, what

45:39

if the woman, because there's like one woman who made all

45:41

the emojis. I forgot her name, but there's like videos about

45:44

it. So this woman created all these emojis

45:46

probably got paid fucking nothing. I didn't know that

45:48

either. Wow. Fiber. So she's the

45:50

one that would know. So we'll, I'll try to figure it out. Maybe

45:56

I'll try to get in contact with her, but

45:59

all the emojis that you- she made like maybe

46:01

she did create a high-five and then people thought it was prey

46:03

and then Apple's like well we're not gonna say it's not so then

46:05

they just go with it yeah they just go with the algorithm

46:07

it makes more sense yeah now there's also another

46:09

emoji that's in this weird category is there another emoji

46:12

that you can think of that might be something

46:14

that it's not okay I'll just

46:20

give it to you it's the poop emoji so

46:22

now the part never act now the poop emoji

46:25

there's a theory and once again we don't know it's confirmed

46:27

or not but that that is actually

46:30

chocolate ice cream hold

46:33

on hold on yo I'm gonna show you

46:35

because the actual ice cream cone emoji

46:38

if you look at it it is the same shape

46:41

oh my gosh same curves the same

46:43

line whoa whoa

46:46

and just make it even more clear to you here's

46:48

a picture of it that's looking

46:50

now look more delicious than the vanilla

46:53

I think the bottom is also

46:55

the emoji for trash wait oh

46:57

yeah oh my god you're right is

46:59

that is chocolate trash a

47:01

nice new cone is just trash poop they need to

47:04

release

47:07

the chocolate chip car or the chocolate cone so

47:09

yeah all these emojis are freaking me out guys

47:11

this is pretty good don't

47:14

worry these theories get even worse wow

47:17

that was peeking it

47:21

freaks me out think about it the praying hands it's

47:23

a high-five guys my mind's blown okay

47:26

this is an email I got from Julia and

47:28

she sent me this picture because if you

47:30

guys remember we did a video a few months ago about Aldi

47:33

which is a grocery store where they create

47:35

like knockoff versions of everything right like

47:37

Oreos they'll create you know shmorios

47:40

and the theory was that the actual companies

47:42

that make these real items also make

47:44

the fake all diversion so this and

47:47

I'm not saying this is confirmed but this is a picture of

47:49

the Baker's treat cupcakes which are

47:51

like ripoffs of you know hostess cupcakes but

47:54

inside of the box the customer

47:56

and all these found actual hostess cupcakes

48:00

They accidentally played at the

48:02

fucking factory. No way.

48:05

Listen, once again, I don't know, maybe this is a hoax, a

48:07

hostess. What?

48:10

I believe it. I do too, because when

48:12

we did a lot of digging on other brands,

48:14

we did find that a lot of these name

48:18

brands and knockoffs were

48:20

made at the same facilities. Yeah, like all

48:22

the cereal, Cheerios, all that. Is made

48:24

by the same place that makes all the fake Aldi ones.

48:27

Grey Goose is just Kirkland. Wait, Kirkland

48:29

Vodka, are you kidding me? Wait,

48:32

no way. Kirkland makes a

48:34

lot of stuff that's named

48:36

brand good stuff. Grey Goose is expensive. I think

48:38

my theory is either it's a mistake

48:40

towards the end of the line,

48:43

there was a packaging mix up, or maybe

48:45

they ran out of packaging and they're like, well, we can't

48:47

just hold an order back and just put it in those lines. Either

48:49

way, if it's at the same facility, the ingredients

48:51

are probably similar or identical.

48:54

Well, yeah, I mean, it hosts its white

48:56

labels through whoever's doing those for sure. Okay,

48:59

now this is kind of a Mandela, but kind

49:01

of not. This is very specific, but do you

49:03

guys, you know, it's tootsie pops. How

49:05

many wicks does it take to get to the center? Pops,

49:08

pops, pops. Okay, so you know

49:10

how when you would go when you were like, you know, 10 years

49:12

old, we'd go to the gas station and we'd get a tootsie pop.

49:15

And then with chocolate, what do you do with the wrapper?

49:18

You look at the star. Who looks at the star? Yeah, the

49:20

cowboy shooting star. And then what do you do

49:22

when you find the star in the wrap? Make a wish and keep it.

49:24

You're white people shit. What do you do?

49:27

I thought you got a full one. What is happening?

49:29

You get a free one. Don't you take the wrapper

49:31

back to the gas station, you tell the guy, hey, I found

49:33

the star. And he goes, oh, here's your free lollipop. And he goes,

49:36

thank you, sir. I thought you made a

49:38

wish and kept it. Oh, you're so gay. Now,

49:44

this supposedly never

49:46

happened. Yeah, you make a wish and keep it. There's a whole thing on the

49:48

internet. Tootsie pop came out and said, we've

49:51

never given away free tootsies. That's not a thing

49:53

we do. If there's a star on some and not

49:55

on the other, it's literally just because of the printer. It

49:57

means nothing. It's not a game. It's not a promotion.

50:00

Nothing, but I swear I swear

50:02

on Kirkland that we did this

50:04

when we were young I remember going to a NPM

50:06

and getting free tuxis great help. I did okay

50:09

I think maybe it wasn't a direct

50:12

tuxi roll involvement But

50:14

I think it's hard if a couple of kids come in

50:16

with a rapper and say I want a free 10 cent Tootsie

50:19

roll, maybe we just had really cool

50:21

and people that bought into it. I don't know But

50:24

I do remember being told that

50:27

someone told me that I'm more heartbroken

50:29

to hear that They weren't planning the star

50:31

ones on purpose to make us special

50:33

when we got one Wow I'm sad that

50:35

I didn't grow up with this. It sounds so funny.

50:38

You never heard of it. I've never

50:40

heard It's like you guys are speaking what is like

50:42

no Chris. No, I know what a Tootsie pop is

50:45

But everything like that you just said

50:47

about the star and the fear and the you

50:49

know, I know can you believe that? Definitely

50:52

happen. Let us know in the comments Did you ever

50:55

get a free tootsie from the rapper that had the

50:57

star on it because I swear in my memory I did that

50:59

and I don't think I made that up. Also remember

51:01

what was that gum that you can eat the rapper zebra

51:04

Oh, yeah zebra. You can eat the rap. You can eat

51:06

the rapper on any gun. That's a paper rapper

51:08

actually Well, it's not good for you,

51:10

but you can do it. I've done it with

51:12

Trident. Why wouldn't you just take the rapper off?

51:14

Yeah, why not? I think your brother

51:17

just told you about No

51:21

one told me and said hey you could just eat the rapper this

51:23

I heard you could eat the McDonald's cheeseburger We

51:29

won't I wouldn't eat it. Okay. We'll

51:31

do it next time. You're Jared have fun. Adrian

51:34

will come on the show He directly should be

51:36

like we had some creamer. Okay. So for this

51:38

next one, I'm about to air drop Does everybody have their

51:40

phones on them? Yeah. Okay. I'm

51:42

about to air drop you a picture now hold

51:44

your judgment Are you fucking kidding?

51:52

So I got an email from and I don't want to

51:54

mispronounce this but the name is X O

51:56

CH I LT the search

52:00

I don't know. I don't want to fuck it

52:02

up. I don't want to fuck it up. Okay. They said this will

52:04

settle the debate ready Yeah,

52:06

okay, if you go to your iPhone settings

52:09

right Go to display

52:11

and brightness and turn on night

52:13

shift mode and at home do this as

52:16

well Find a picture of the blue black dress. It

52:18

looks the same. Okay. Did you go to night shift? Yeah,

52:20

you pressed it Yeah, okay. Now, what

52:23

do you see the same thing same thing really?

52:27

You still see what colors white and gold.

52:29

Yeah Well,

52:35

they said if you turn on night

52:37

shift you can see both colors You

52:39

can see white and gold or you can see black and blue here.

52:41

It's show me from that far away Like let me

52:43

see your own liars No,

52:46

I just want to see like like clearer

52:49

than ever white and like that's more clear That's

52:52

more white and gold than my phone. There.

52:54

There's not a chance in hell that you see

52:56

black and blue I literally it's back and blue.

52:59

No, this picture though is white and

53:01

gold. I don't care if the real dress is black and

53:03

blue We don't need well, then why'd you bring it up? Okay that picture

53:05

though to me is watching but it doesn't matter Because

53:07

yeah, it doesn't matter. Let's bring it up for the 30th time.

53:10

It didn't work It didn't work, but we tried it out.

53:12

I just wanted to try. Okay before I

53:14

pull out my Karen. I'll just let's change

53:16

gear Okay Okay,

53:19

this next year is about I can't think it's about us Okay,

53:22

it's about us this actually freaks me out.

53:24

So as you guys know if you think Titanic spoiler

53:26

alert I don't think somebody in this room has

53:28

seen it. Okay, which is crazy

53:31

So obviously at the end Rose

53:33

is floating on the door and Jack

53:36

is you know in the water and he's freezing He needs

53:38

whatever so then Rose sees

53:40

him and what does she say? Never this you go.

53:43

No, no, you're late. She goes And

53:49

Then she breaks his hands off the door and

53:51

then she she assumes he's dead so

53:54

she lets him go And

53:57

then he sinks right and he's

53:59

on the bottom the ocean. Now,

54:01

if he was actually dead,

54:04

he would have floated. Dead bodies float.

54:06

If

54:07

he sank,

54:09

that means he was just unconscious.

54:11

No way. And he breathed in water

54:14

as he was falling down.

54:16

Which if you rewatch the scene in the movie, the

54:18

bubbles come out of his mouth. Right? No way. And I always

54:20

thought that was like a glit, like a fuck up in the movie.

54:22

Like I was like, okay, James, he missed the spot. But no,

54:25

the bubbles are because he's breathing in water and

54:28

he sinks to the ground. No way. Now, I googled.

54:30

Now this is like a big theory right now in life. Even

54:33

if she saved him, there was no room.

54:35

No, no, she was saved right afterward.

54:37

If you remember in the movie, he stinks and then, there's

54:40

only one out there. Can anyone

54:42

hear me? And then she grabs a whistle from the dead guy.

54:45

She's like, so literally seconds

54:48

away, he could have been saved because

54:50

what happens is he was unconscious. He was having a

54:52

hypothermic, I think it's stage three hypothermia and

54:54

he could have been saved. Not my

54:56

Leo.

54:57

I know. So she killed him. Oh,

54:59

listen, I know this is like

55:01

such a debate. Like he could have fit on the door and this is not, and

55:04

it doesn't matter. The movie is amazing and perfect as it is.

55:06

I don't care. I'm glad he died because

55:09

she needed him to die so that she could live life. This is a real

55:11

life story. No. But isn't that

55:16

crazy? Could he have just been dead in that

55:18

yet had his body filled up?

55:20

Did he die why of being frozen?

55:22

I didn't read into all the science because

55:24

there's like a 10 page article about it. I

55:27

definitely feel like it's her fault. Let's

55:29

definitely blame the woman. For

55:32

sure. I mean, she didn't do all she could. Mitzvos

55:34

needs to do an episode. Is that a show someone? I thought they did.

55:36

I thought they did an episode about the door.

55:39

Yeah. That there was technically enough room for them both

55:41

to fit. But now that new opposite. No, I think there was room. Now

55:45

that new theories are swirling, they need to get

55:47

back at it for part two. What are we going to

55:49

do about it though? You know,

55:51

when we find out. Well, I know

55:54

if we ever want to cruise, which I don't want to, and if

55:56

the boat ever sinks, which I hope it doesn't. And

55:58

then if we're floating. And I'm front-

56:00

and you'll never let me go. No, never. Never

56:02

let me go. No. He's not dead. That's

56:05

so sad. I know, it's actually really sad. If you rewatch

56:07

the movie and think about it like that. Dude, what

56:09

a genius James Cameron was to put

56:11

in a scene that's still making us think and talk.

56:14

Yeah. Isn't that crazy that he

56:16

still has virality on the internet

56:18

from a movie he made that year? Look at that, he knew it.

56:21

He knew it. Hey,

56:23

welcome back. I know what you're thinking. Shane,

56:26

stop scaring us. I think that every time

56:28

I look in the mirror. And yes, I refer to myself as us.

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58:26

That was weird, but I mean it. Thank you guys. Why

58:28

are you watching this? Read a book. Just kidding.

58:30

Don't leave. Um,

58:33

okay. So this isn't even really a theory

58:36

either, but I put it in the conspiracy section because

58:38

honestly I needed more to fill it up. Perfect.

58:42

I have a new psychopath test. Everybody

58:45

at home, get ready. Here we go. This was

58:47

actually sent in by a viewer, Rachel.

58:49

So I don't know if she created this on her own or if

58:51

she found it, but here we go. I'm gonna get

58:53

one right for us. This is the one. You and

58:56

your two friends. So there's three of you. Want

58:58

to eat some cake, but there are only

59:00

two slices left. You have a knife

59:03

and three plates. How do you handle

59:05

splitting the pieces? My instinctive

59:07

answer is I just give it to them, but what's the psychopath

59:09

answer? I take that fucking knife

59:12

and I stab these bitches and I say I'm eating

59:14

it all. No. Okay. Good

59:17

guess. So he's on the right track.

59:19

He kills one, so two people

59:21

get to share the piece, the cake. Okay. The

59:23

answer is, is the psychopath. Sorry.

59:26

In my brain, it's like you cut it like rather

59:28

than vertically, like horizontally or something. No,

59:33

no. The psychopath,

59:37

you use the knife to stab

59:39

the third person so that the two

59:41

remaining people each have a slice. Nice.

59:44

That's how you do it. Yeah. I would just

59:46

have both of them and eat all the cake. That was extra

59:49

psychopath energy. I like it.

59:51

I just want to be a psychopath. Not

59:55

even cake can get you there. Well, let's

59:57

see if this gets you there. This is from Cassie. She said,

59:59

Hey guys. I saw this and I thought of you, let me know

1:00:01

what you think. So this is a meme that was going around. I

1:00:03

don't know how real this is, but I'm going to pretend like

1:00:05

it is. And it says, I'm convinced if

1:00:08

you like candy corn, banana

1:00:10

flavored Laffy Taffy, or drink root beer,

1:00:13

you're a psychopath. Candy corn, everything.

1:00:15

Banana Laffy Taffy, the only flavor they should ever make.

1:00:18

And root beer, delicious. I'll drink that. Yeah,

1:00:20

I like all three. Do you look at my

1:00:22

pantry or what? No, banana is the best

1:00:24

root flavor. Banana one, yeah. And

1:00:27

root beer is the best soda. Right. I

1:00:30

agree. So I guess we're all psychopaths. You

1:00:32

finally did it! I was like, yuck! Yes,

1:00:35

psychopaths are thinking that. Right.

1:00:40

Okay, Jared, you told me before the show

1:00:42

that you have a theory about aliens. I do.

1:00:44

Okay, what is it? Okay, so the other day

1:00:46

I was driving and

1:00:47

I was looking at the clouds as I often do.

1:00:50

And I saw the shape in the clouds and it looked like

1:00:52

an alien laying down

1:00:55

with like a capsule that

1:00:58

was on his head, like a face shield that

1:01:00

had lifted off. And I thought, you know

1:01:02

how all people say aliens look the same, right?

1:01:04

Yeah. What if what we're looking at is actually

1:01:07

a super advanced suit? And it's

1:01:09

not actually the alien that we're looking

1:01:11

at, it's their advanced space suit.

1:01:14

So they're in there. I'm taking it to the next

1:01:16

fucking level. You ready for this? Yeah. Ready

1:01:18

for this? that

1:01:21

UFOs are actually humans in time machines?

1:01:24

Okay. So humans in

1:01:26

time travel machines are in the fucking

1:01:28

space suits and that aliens

1:01:31

are just time travelers in suits.

1:01:33

And it's a fun joke to them like, don't think we're aliens.

1:01:36

Yeah. Wait, what was the theory? Okay.

1:01:39

How about this? How about this? I

1:01:41

forgot, but I got flavored crickets. Fuck you. You

1:01:44

guys, I'm so sick of watching you. I

1:01:47

totally forgot. I got

1:01:49

an extra mile gas station by my house

1:01:52

and they're all about the upsell. They always have something

1:01:54

in the middle. They're having to do this on this episode.

1:01:56

It's usually white chocolate candies. That doesn't make

1:01:58

me sick. Tuna? I don't

1:02:01

know! Well because they say that

1:02:03

the main push right now is trying to get people

1:02:05

on an insect based diet because it's easy

1:02:07

to farm and it's cheap. Oh! That's why

1:02:09

plant based- They're trying to make us reptiles? The next

1:02:11

thing is, oh you know being an insect

1:02:14

based diet is what's best for you. So I just-

1:02:16

Are you gonna try one right now? Yeah! Let's do it! I'm

1:02:18

not. Oh you're not. Well you know

1:02:20

what? You didn't try the tuna so you gotta try

1:02:22

the cricket. That's why I feel like this is fair but who else is gonna

1:02:25

try you? Wanna try it Rylan? No! Wanna

1:02:27

try it? I don't know if I can. Okay. I'll try-

1:02:29

Bacon and cheese or sour cream and onion? Oh

1:02:32

god. I don't know if I can. Sour cream and onion.

1:02:34

I want to try but I'm horrified. Here bacon and cheese.

1:02:38

Oh I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can do it. It's

1:02:40

pumpkin spice. That was a- I don't know if I can do it. Just

1:02:43

the look of it. I don't know if I can do it. I really

1:02:45

want to- Are there guts in it? Oh yeah

1:02:47

dude. I already- Oh my god!

1:02:51

I don't think I can do it. No! I don't think I can do it. I don't think

1:02:53

I can do it. It's like scaring me. Literally

1:02:56

it's like a corn nut. What? Oh!

1:03:01

No! No! You're

1:03:03

not gonna snack on those like sunflower seeds. No.

1:03:06

They're getting thrown in the trash. Well no I might have

1:03:08

them just so I can tell if they- Would you ever

1:03:10

eat a cricket? And then I get in the opportunity. What's the

1:03:12

nutritional value? I feel like I'm gonna pass out. Oh

1:03:14

they're super good for you. They're 4.0- I've never

1:03:16

even seen this. 4.3 calories. Should

1:03:19

we do an optical illusion or should we leave? I

1:03:22

gotta go. Shit. My

1:03:24

self. My podcast's over. Okay I'm gonna pass out. It's

1:03:26

so gross. Okay you know what? Let's just do one

1:03:28

optical illusion and then we'll do a recap. This

1:03:31

will freak you out. On the screen right now, there's a

1:03:33

face. And what I want you to do is stare at

1:03:35

the four dots in the middle. In a moment

1:03:38

but not yet. Yes. I can look at your ceiling

1:03:40

and blink rapidly.

1:03:42

There you can see someone's face. If

1:03:44

you don't believe me, just keep watching.

1:03:45

Wait what? Also, try your hardest not

1:03:48

to blink. Wait when do we start? At the end of this illusion.

1:03:50

Already. What are we- What? We just stared?

1:03:52

We're supposed to be doing this already. Now this optical illusion

1:03:54

works for you. Oh my god. Stop telling me. Alrighty.

1:03:57

Just keep your focus on the whole thing for

1:03:59

a couple- He's aggressive. Oh, let's do this

1:04:01

in 10. Wait, I just started. Yeah, me

1:04:04

too. Okay, don't blink five

1:04:08

four three two one Now

1:04:12

look at your ceiling. I start blinking. Oh my god.

1:04:14

Oh I

1:04:19

think it's Kobe. I've actually you know, I've

1:04:21

done that before and it I was in the bathroom

1:04:23

and I saw Kobe too Is that Kobe? Oh

1:04:25

my I'm gonna cry looking up and seeing

1:04:28

Kobe. Oh my god It's

1:04:31

Kobe what the fuck

1:04:34

right? That's

1:04:36

amazing. How can we project images

1:04:38

from our brains? I don't know fucking wild

1:04:41

I don't know. You know what we should do now. I'm still

1:04:44

gonna recap it I

1:04:57

Today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast

1:04:59

the boys are all dressed as iconic

1:05:01

movie characters except for our black

1:05:03

sheep Chris Who's just a

1:05:06

pumpkin spice latte? Hey, I just

1:05:09

the pumpkin. I'm kidding the

1:05:11

iconic Pumpkin spice gay

1:05:14

ass free latte the Peruvian

1:05:16

latte Oh Rylan's

1:05:19

a big old Karen. Oh shit Okay

1:05:22

on today's episode of the podcast I did

1:05:24

admit to my Karen ways so don't

1:05:26

even try to come at me with Rylan's a Karen I

1:05:29

know and I admitted it jizz jewelry

1:05:32

Just jewelry is all the rage are

1:05:34

and you can get it at your favorite Etsy

1:05:36

shop Just jizz and give your boyfriend

1:05:39

a collection of your own. Oh that

1:05:42

one of our viewers Fell in

1:05:44

the shower and flooded her house. Oh

1:05:46

my god danger alert Don't

1:05:48

mix your meds with your alcohol or it will

1:05:50

start a fight with your significant other We

1:05:54

got people on bumble reppin. Oh,

1:05:57

you gotta grow her show in major cloud

1:05:59

alert The Shane Dawson podcast is reaching

1:06:01

Bumble accounts everywhere as we're

1:06:03

being referenced in people's dating

1:06:06

profiles as a humor Standard

1:06:09

creating quite the buzz. Oh, I

1:06:11

see what you did there Oh

1:06:14

Adriana Bylon is a queen and you guys are idiots.

1:06:17

Yeah I'm gonna disagree with you But

1:06:19

our Queen Adriana Bylon forced us

1:06:21

into our worst taste test

1:06:23

on the podcast ever Blasphemy,

1:06:26

I will never be trying an Adrienne

1:06:28

Bylon food combo again, but you

1:06:31

are welcome on our podcast anytime In

1:06:35

person I know I Praying

1:06:39

hands is a high-five in this Emoji

1:06:42

alert. Nothing is what it seems.

1:06:45

We got squirters watching the podcast

1:06:47

and they're squirting on their mom cheese What

1:06:50

was it? Yeah, right. I'm laying

1:06:52

in squirt. Yeah We're

1:06:55

alert be careful Your head

1:06:57

at night and make sure you have clean sheets

1:06:59

or just don't sleep in anyone else's bed Oh

1:07:02

Jared brought crickets that yeah Crickets

1:07:05

as if today couldn't get any worse with food

1:07:07

Jared decided to bring us Crickets that

1:07:10

he found at a gas station, which I

1:07:12

don't trust shout out extra mile. We're

1:07:14

all psychopaths We all pass the test. Finally

1:07:16

the boys are confirmed to be psychopaths.

1:07:19

What was the test that we did first? We

1:07:22

eat candy corn of Atlanta laffy toffees

1:07:24

and root beer. I can't believe they like none of

1:07:26

those things What are you looking for? I'm just trying to think

1:07:29

how she's like coming to the conclusion

1:07:31

that all those things equal psychopaths I

1:07:33

know she has an axe to grind but just see

1:07:35

pops don't get you free to see pops That

1:07:37

was just something that white people did. Yeah, and weird

1:07:40

Shane and Jared fantasy land Shooting

1:07:43

star to see pops got you a free one.

1:07:45

No, it didn't and what was the other crazy thing you

1:07:47

guys did? Oh you eat gum wrappers. Yeah

1:07:51

And now he's trying to get us to eat McDonald's wrappers.

1:07:53

Yeah, okay I love that the

1:07:56

grower and farmer merch is like a goal

1:07:58

on someone's bio Like couple

1:08:00

goals in couple in shocking merch

1:08:02

alert Shane's merch has

1:08:05

become a phenomenon between

1:08:07

couples Wait, I don't think there's

1:08:09

like a lot of people doing it rocking

1:08:11

it in public and sending us pictures It's

1:08:14

like crazy. So if you want to

1:08:16

get your merch shopping at Shane Dawson merch

1:08:18

comm I think we need to have our own fall

1:08:20

photo shoot to rock the merch and like

1:08:22

are you a real couple if you don't? Have the hoodies

1:08:25

right? I don't think you are. All right, you guys that's

1:08:27

all we have for today's episode of the

1:08:29

Shane Dawson podcast make sure you're following all of

1:08:32

us on social media Shut the merch in the link

1:08:34

below and make sure you're tuning in to

1:08:36

the audio and video of this podcast every

1:08:38

two weeks Wherever you get your podcast.

1:08:41

We love you very much and we'll see you next week. Where

1:08:43

you guys go. That was a treat

1:08:48

For it. Hopefully you enjoyed this show and hopefully

1:08:50

we all survive after our stomach

1:08:53

deal with what we ate I already don't feel good

1:08:57

But you did you did you literally

1:08:59

did We wasn't

1:09:01

dead yet. All right. Well, we'll see you guys next time. Bye