0:01

So if this proves to be true, then

0:03

the earth isn't flat. Oh.

0:05

No, no. They actually,

0:07

the government, put out

0:10

the flat earth as a distracter so

0:12

we wouldn't even think about the truth

0:14

on the hollow earth. Shut up. What's

0:16

real? Honestly, I have no idea. All

0:19

right, let's. Hey,

0:23

welcome

0:26

back to whatever the hell this is. We're

0:28

Daddy's Edition. Hello. Wow.

0:31

This is scary. This

0:34

is the first time we've done anything since we've had

0:36

them. So we don't know

0:38

how this is going to go. I'm a little paranoid

0:40

and scared because I'm like, what's going on in there?

0:43

Now I will explain. First of all,

0:45

hey guys. Hey. Feel bad

0:48

I didn't even introduce the crew. No,

0:50

dude. My other babies. Baby tuck, please.

0:52

I'll get your brother, but okay. He

0:55

is my baby. You are. He

0:57

is so good with babies, by the way. It's

0:59

crazy. I'm a baby whisperer. You are.

1:01

They were crying and then we put one in your

1:03

arms. Done. No way. I

1:06

also, I thought I help them poop, but I guess I don't do that. What do

1:08

you mean? I thought I was like a

1:10

poop whisperer. Oh, only for yourself. Only for myself. Only

1:12

for myself. Yeah. So here's

1:14

the situation right now. So first of all, we're

1:16

not going to pretend like we're doing everything by

1:18

ourselves. We do have an amazing nurse who comes

1:20

a few times a week and helps us with

1:23

the babies who have taught us so much. We

1:25

are so grateful. But we also have

1:27

another nanny on board this week

1:29

who's going to come to us

1:31

live from the nursery. Hello.

1:35

Nurse Mickey, reporting for duty. How's

1:39

it going in there? We are in

1:42

full baby mode. We go through

1:44

the process of feeding,

1:46

burping, and then sleeping and

1:49

pooping and repeat, repeat, repeat.

1:51

Nice. Sounds like a process

1:53

that we do a lot. Yeah.

1:55

Okay. Is there any big

1:57

updates in the nursery? Is there any. Is

2:00

there any gossip any hot news? What's going on? See

2:05

Max was happy doing tummy time and

2:08

he did a lot of activity and

2:10

a lot of building his muscles and

2:12

then Yeah, he wasn't into

2:14

it. Oh He

2:17

showed up though he's small but mighty yeah,

2:19

that's true We witnessed that the other day

2:21

in front of the pediatrician you're right So

2:23

I showed off at the doctor's appointment and

2:25

Max just like his dad. He lost a

2:27

tummy time Well

2:33

And how's the poop going because this is big the big

2:35

thing is and if you guys are parents at home, you

2:37

know this Oh my god, we're parents crazy There's

2:40

a poop you get very excited because when they're not

2:42

pooping there's a problem Has there been any poops today?

2:45

One of them is pooping a lot and the

2:47

other is not and so we do have a

2:49

little bit of a problem there But you know,

2:51

we're working on it and jet is

2:53

our pooper He poops almost every change

2:55

or every feeder. Yes max Sometimes

2:58

he goes three days and then we're having to

3:00

do the poop maneuvers He's going red because he's

3:02

trying to poop and then me my mom my

3:04

shit or my And

3:10

the nurse that we have hoping with us we're

3:12

all like Maneuvering him trying to

3:14

get him to poop and then once we

3:16

get it out, we're like, yes, it's in

3:18

a group text message We're showing each other

3:20

how big we're celebrating I cried and these

3:22

are the big ways of our day when max

3:24

finally pooped after three days And he was so

3:26

like in pain and it all came out and

3:29

then he was so happy and I started crying

3:31

Wow I just want you to know though

3:33

that we all try to take credit for the poop like

3:35

we helped him the most I Helped

3:37

him through that and then it's devastating

3:39

if the person who's been tending to helping

3:42

him poop all day Isn't there when it

3:44

happens because it's so it's that is not

3:46

a happy yesterday. Yep Yeah,

3:48

and it takes three of us to

3:51

manage these twins at the moment And

3:53

we have learned a lot. My mom's

3:55

been in training too. We've all learned

3:57

so much from the nurse who helped

4:00

us and it's been interesting

4:03

to learn everything. I would

4:05

say the biggest change is being

4:08

tired, being full of love, but also

4:10

being excited about things you'd never think

4:12

you'd be excited about. I'm all about

4:15

pooping. Oh yeah. After three days.

4:17

Like an hour of quiet, it would get

4:19

them both down. Maybe Max needed like a

4:21

little bit of inspiration. He needed to put

4:24

himself through three days of non-poop just to

4:26

break through an artistic moment. Whoa.

4:29

I can't do that. Yes. It's,

4:31

yes. Do I hear drama in the nursery? What's

4:33

happening? They're also the cutest things ever to

4:35

have lived ever. I met them for the first time

4:37

today and was like overwhelmed by their cuteness. Oh no,

4:39

you were so sweet when you saw them. I missed

4:41

it. Thanks for telling me Chris is going in there.

4:43

Sorry, Uncle Chris and me were just having a good

4:45

old time. What's going

4:47

on Vicki? Well, Jet is just

4:50

really just doing great, but

4:52

no Max might wake back up.

4:55

So there's not a lot going on. If

4:57

he was still awake, like he was about

4:59

10 minutes ago, I would show

5:01

you how he tracks. We could prove

5:03

the pediatrician wrong on his face. The

5:05

glasses. Is he

5:08

working on his math, his multiplication tables?

5:10

No, I'm kidding. Oh, I hope so.

5:13

Yeah, I think that's next week. Me and Vicki

5:15

are talking about that because her baby, Rylund, is

5:17

really about it, Max. I'm going to learn with

5:19

them. When we're learning, they're going

5:21

to be like six times six. What is that? We're

5:23

going to learn it together. What is it? It's

5:26

a Max. You didn't even

5:29

pick one that you knew? You could have just

5:31

said two times two. So

5:33

easily avoidable. All right, Vicki. Well,

5:36

we're going to check back in with you later in the

5:38

show and make sure everything's going good. If there's any big

5:40

drama though, give me a call. I will. I

5:43

will. If any drama happens, we're on it. We'll

5:45

let you know. That's definitely the first thing you

5:47

think about when you have a screaming crying baby. It's

5:49

like, let me turn on this camera and call the

5:51

podcast in the other room. Okay,

5:54

well, we'll call back in Vicki, but keep us

5:56

posted. All right. We'll carry on.

5:58

Thank you. Bye! Alright,

6:00

bye! I wave kids.

6:02

Crazy. We went out to dinner for the first,

6:04

like, our first outing was like pretty much a

6:07

month in once we've already had kids. I will

6:09

say it's interesting, and we'll get off the kids'

6:11

topic in a second, but it literally is our

6:13

life now and all we talk about. But

6:15

what I will say is it's interesting, like, knowing that our

6:17

kids are in the other room, as much

6:20

as I love doing this podcast, it's also like,

6:22

oh, I need to do this podcast to

6:24

make money for our kids. Do you know

6:26

what I mean? Yeah. Yeah! What's

6:28

things in a different perspective? Because before it was like, I need

6:30

to make money to buy Rylan Giff. Oh. Yeah.

6:32

And then it's like, we have mouths to

6:34

feed. Yeah. And that is a lot more

6:36

pressure, quite honestly. Okay, so, sorry, we'll start

6:39

talking about us. Guys, what's going on? What's

6:41

life? How's the New Year? What's a tease?

6:43

Pfft. Pfft. No,

6:46

you were last. You have to talk first. Family

6:48

roll. We have to- Pfft. Pfft. Wait,

6:51

so, okay, so, I am a family, right? Thank you,

6:53

Rylan, by the way. Best Christmas present ever. And I'm

6:56

sipping, sipping. Jared walks in with his Stanley, and I'm

6:58

shook, and I'm like, is that his Stanley? Don't trip.

7:00

I'm gonna sip. And

7:03

then, so, Jared's telling me the story of his

7:05

Stanley, where he got it. Yeah, like, the clone

7:08

guy shit out there got me this Stanley. It

7:10

actually has my name on it, you know what

7:12

I'm saying? It's great. In gray. So, yeah, and

7:14

it matches what I'm wearing exactly. It has a

7:16

mint green top, and then it's gray. Yes. So,

7:18

I feel like Guy Fieri on like an Easter

7:20

edition or something, you know? Ooh. Or

7:23

the manager of a TikTok house. I think you should take

7:25

Sandy on a date in that jacket. Oh, she loved that.

7:29

I always embarrass her no matter what, but I think if

7:31

we could just get it out of the way immediately with

7:33

what I'm wearing, that'd be perfect. Right. Jared

7:35

and Sandy showed up on Christmas Eve wearing-

7:38

What was on your head? Oh, like reindeer

7:40

antlers. Yeah, I love a couple that kind

7:42

of fun. Jared walked in with these big

7:44

antlers on, and then he goes, you saw

7:46

it? Yeah, and then he goes, all right,

7:48

and they took them off. Yeah. I'm not

7:50

going to say she made me wear them, but if I

7:52

didn't, it would have been bad. You know what

7:54

I mean? And now, Chris, so you were like, I've never had a

7:57

snail. I've never drank out of one. I was like, oh, you're drinking

7:59

out of mine today. So what is your

8:01

first Stanley experience like? It's a lot

8:03

heavier than I thought it would be.

8:05

Really heavy. I feel like

8:07

I'm working out a little bit with it

8:09

because I'm a weak man. Stanley's my cardio.

8:12

Oh yeah. But it's great. It's like

8:15

I kind of want one now. Right. I

8:17

know this is silly but you guys always have to like

8:19

Starbucks cups when they're amazing and I love them but you

8:22

can't wash those in the dishwasher and that's like a deal

8:24

breaker for me. Me too.

8:26

You can. So now I need

8:28

one. Wait, they're dishwasher safe. I'm in the dishwasher. Yes.

8:31

Okay, not the bedazzled one but the other. Not the bedazzled.

8:33

Never the bedazzled. No, no, no, no. That's

8:35

good to know though because I've been hand washing your Stanley so now

8:38

I'm on board with them. Wow. Because

8:41

the cheap trick actually is I

8:43

found out that you don't even need to wash

8:45

them. Just a rinse of water will get

8:47

the other flavor out. So

8:49

as long as you constantly keep liquids in here, you

8:51

don't need to wash it. By

8:54

the way, Rylan's in a new chair. He's in

8:56

a baby rocker. Hey girls. I bought two of

8:58

these. The biggest mistake of my life. They

9:00

are not comfortable and they're ugly. And

9:02

they were expensive. It looks comfy. No,

9:04

it is comfortable. I will give it

9:07

comfortable and I was my back and

9:09

my body hurt from that beanbag after

9:11

we recorded because it's comfortable if you're

9:13

watching TV but if you're recording a

9:15

podcast, it's not. Right. Anyway,

9:17

there's all of these reels going around to Instagram

9:19

with like girls holding their Stanley's like

9:22

and it's like men dragging these huge trash

9:24

cans. Right, that

9:26

is funny. No,

9:28

I was talking about the video of the little

9:30

girl who got a Stanley on Christmas. Oh my

9:32

God. And then she cries. That is so excited.

9:34

And then the uncle in the background is like,

9:37

what's that? It's like a Stanley goes, huh? And

9:39

then I started thinking, I didn't know. Stanley's really

9:41

are. This is not sponsored by Stanley. Although can you

9:43

imagine? Please. It's like a

9:46

weird, what's it called? Like when somebody.

9:48

I mean, no, no, not at all.

9:52

No, it's like when status, status

9:54

symbol. Oh yeah. So If you

9:57

don't have a Stanley after holiday break when you go back to school,

9:59

you get made fun of. So

10:01

little girl water hose little did I would

10:03

have murdered for that. I'm a grown man.

10:05

this is so heavy it a party flat

10:07

little girls would have murder. This is the

10:09

size of a little. How

10:12

do they can resist arrest? or met dude

10:14

steal the his? Raising a nation of strong

10:16

women and gay man. Sums

10:19

I. Gave some time

10:22

when I. Was

10:25

like a light bulb day. I see what's going to lie

10:27

and like a month and a half a litre they all

10:29

have done. His work and only thing about Rhinos

10:31

are adorable children Because it's weird how like the

10:33

moment I saw them I was like wow I'd

10:36

die for them like the sax. Fifth up with

10:38

this group because I'm looking to tell his it's

10:40

it's weird how like you know see pictures of

10:42

them and everything like we've talked about it so

10:44

much that like I didn't expect it to back

10:46

me like a did and I love them. crazy

10:49

like from one at all I can think about

10:51

that All I care about New Years of Time

10:53

in prison as find your kids are it. have

10:55

always been a. Yet

10:57

no one is interesting way to. I knew though,

10:59

that we would feel that way because that's how

11:01

I am with the animals like the second or

11:03

even Sarai. Well that's when I

11:05

was scared of because okay so we got Riley

11:07

right. I instantly melt Second I saw her online

11:09

by instilling with a lot Even though she was

11:12

sitting and screaming and fighting doing all this shit

11:14

I was so annoying I loved her so much

11:16

and then one night you walked in holding her,

11:18

put her in her cage and said were returning

11:20

us and I was like to know this is

11:22

gonna be it's even harder when it's ladies and

11:24

they're going to even crazier and we can't return

11:26

babies And he were to say so then I

11:28

got scared to some like. The. Second,

11:30

you meet. our babies you're gonna love the

11:32

more than anything the ever loving your whole

11:35

life as he me instead you're just like

11:37

are you sure what a listen i have

11:39

nothing to compare it to other than dogs

11:41

and with all three of our dogs yes

11:43

i really liked them immediately but it is

11:45

a bond that grows over time you grow

11:48

in love with each other kind of like

11:50

a relationship i add with you i got

11:52

injured love you unconditionally the first time i

11:54

ever saw you it was we had a

11:56

great time but it wasn't love you have

11:58

to grow into this And

12:00

with dogs it's like through this training

12:03

hurdle and it is different with dogs I'm

12:05

not saying it's easier with dogs. I'm saying

12:07

it's different because they are immediately running But

12:12

with our kids it luckily and thankfully was

12:14

a different story like you see them and

12:17

it's like the greatest love story you've ever

12:20

You can ever imagine, you know, well speaking

12:22

of our little gifts from God Chris

12:25

you said that you brought us gifts because we haven't seen

12:27

each other since Christmas So you said

12:29

you brought us a little yeah, so I wanted

12:32

to have these in time for Christmas But I

12:34

messed that up, but I got you Chris miss

12:36

a little There's

12:40

one for each one of you hold on

12:42

I wrote somewhere this one is for

12:44

shame. Well, your wrapping is really good

12:46

Is it? Yeah, thank you. Yes. You

12:48

did. Did you have papyrus do this?

12:52

I'm normally terrible and I tried

12:56

Different wrapping paper for everyone. It's

12:58

a serial killer. Perfect. Yeah, dude.

13:01

Well, oh is one for Sandy? Yes Okay.

13:03

Oh, I see. I'll film too special over

13:05

here. I think they're cool They're nothing

13:08

crazy, but I just think they're cute I got excited

13:10

by it and I thought it might be something fun

13:12

for the vodka. I don't know. We'll see Maybe

13:14

this is a flop. I'm sorry, but everyone giving

13:17

anyone a gift ever Oh

13:20

my god, okay Shut

13:23

the fuck up. Oh My

13:32

god, I'm with a vlog camera. Yeah, it's

13:34

me on Riley's and you have uno in

13:36

the corner And you

13:39

have Cheeto and your oh my god hot

13:42

some Funko Pop

13:44

yourself. How did you do this? So

13:46

at the Funko pop store in Hollywood, you can't do

13:48

it online You Can't do it anywhere else But I

13:51

Guess they're doing like they're trying it out at the

13:53

pop store in Hollywood and I was like, oh my

13:55

god That was my first thought. Oh My god. I

13:57

Have to make one. Wait, let me see. My Hair

13:59

is right. Everything's. Right there is so

14:01

you know and of those rile you

14:03

want to your some odd know that

14:05

a weird. About

14:07

a half months. while. the one thing I'll

14:09

say is that like they're limited on what

14:11

you can do and on yours I couldn't

14:14

get her right leg and I'm running. My

14:16

hair's perfect I got you can be like

14:18

I couldn't get it second. It's

14:20

a little too bright, it's like of

14:22

the wasn't always was but I didn't

14:25

pursue I tried I wanted to use

14:27

this guys wearing that general at white

14:29

guy name. Is eight or air years

14:31

I like the and I couldn't get

14:33

like sneakers who put it but in

14:35

a lot of i thrive one day

14:38

the be able to wear flip flops

14:40

and not be a very valid killer

14:42

exact right obviously the whole time already

14:44

smaller these Europe's you know Wow laser

14:46

bread got like is so good or

14:49

bad about your about whether to fly

14:51

a precipitous seducing ever Hey sorry to

14:53

interrupt the show by want to get

14:55

some love torpor sponsor of the day

14:57

which is me to go anywhere Please

14:59

support. This sponsor Because it's my favorite

15:01

sponsor a house. It's the only sponsor

15:04

that goes to sleep with me at

15:06

night. One. Month. Okay

15:08

whatever I'm talking about memory of as if

15:10

you haven't seen already I have the viewers

15:12

designs spits on him when right Here is

15:14

the forest green color a causes merge collection

15:17

the movie pig collection because I feel like

15:19

if it's survive it's very moody theory like

15:21

rainy weather. So whether whether it's very is

15:23

that peak okay should we had it or

15:25

god the picks up moving okay what's happening

15:28

somebody call that is that then we have

15:30

a very bold option but stay with me.

15:32

I know last time I made a very

15:34

bold option that everybody's I was ugly but

15:36

some people. Liked it and this is

15:39

my new wide. This is a dilute

15:41

hide with the Cbp pig. I think

15:43

this is to I love this. If

15:45

you don't like this, what's wrong with

15:47

having nothing? You're probably very healthy. What's

15:49

wrong with. Me: a lot anyways

15:51

new pig merge next the summers we have the

15:54

green to hide with the black sea guess which

15:56

this is my personal favorite. I don't know I

15:58

thought I wouldn't love this one. I mean I

16:00

picked the colors and I wanted it to be

16:02

this color but I don't think I'm ever gonna

16:04

wear this. I wear this one the most. Anyways

16:07

that's this vibe and then I have a t-shirt

16:09

option which is just black and a purple pig.

16:11

So yeah if you want to check out any

16:13

of the moody pig collection go to shane.merch.com and

16:15

check it out and if you get any of

16:18

the merch send me a picture of shane.com so

16:20

I can show all

16:22

the pictures. So there you guys go hopefully you like

16:24

the merch if you want to check it out go

16:26

to shane.merch.com and I hope you like it. Okay I'm

16:28

gonna go talk to you guys later.

16:35

Well that really

16:37

symbolized how much we love each other. This

16:40

next game is going

16:42

to test that because I

16:44

have a new game called the game

16:47

of shame and if you're

16:49

wondering if it has a theme song

16:51

or not oh it does. The game

16:53

of shame. I love that it has

16:55

execute this on my own. Shame.

16:59

I think about my TK Daily fact. Shame. Tell

17:09

us the truth so we can

17:11

cut you. The game of shame.

17:13

I love you. That was a

17:15

pop. Was that TLC? That was

17:18

hot. That girl needs a bigger

17:20

career. I don't care how famous

17:22

she is she needs to be

17:24

famous. I know that was incredible.

17:27

So here's the game of shame

17:29

so we came up me and Spencey. Hello. Now you

17:31

have a voice. We

17:34

came up with this game and we were like what's something

17:36

to spend that could possibly go to the fight drama. And

17:39

we came up with a game of shame. So Spencer do you

17:41

want to explain how it works? Yeah

17:43

so essentially before this episode I got a

17:45

bunch of about three confessions from

17:48

all of you guys. But

17:50

you guys don't know what you all said to me.

17:52

And so the game is going to work. I'm going

17:54

to read out a confession. No one's name. And then

17:56

it's going to essentially work like when we played mafia

17:58

where you're going to everyone's trying to figure out

18:01

who's confession it is. And everyone has a

18:03

little whiteboard with them, I think. And

18:05

so there's going to be a little debate. We're going to

18:07

talk it out. Then at the end of the debate, I'm going

18:09

to tell you guys to write down who you think it is. And

18:12

I don't know if we have a full point system, or

18:14

I guess we'll say maybe if

18:16

the person whose confession it is

18:18

doesn't get picked, they get a point. Oh, that's

18:20

good. Oh, interesting. OK, and then

18:22

what's the prize, Shane? Well, because here's the part

18:24

of the game that I like the most. Is

18:29

that if he reads

18:32

off your condition, you get

18:34

to fight and pretend like that is not yours.

18:36

Ooh. You know what I mean? You don't want

18:38

to get caught. You don't want to get found

18:40

out. OK. All right, you guys ready

18:42

for confession number one? Yeah. Confession number

18:44

one, I would pull knives on

18:46

people. I would fight as a

18:48

kid. What? Pull

18:51

knives? OK. OK, I like that

18:53

one. That is

18:55

you. I know it. That's

18:57

you. Well, no, is it you or Jared? Because

18:59

you guys would know because your sibling. It's him.

19:02

No. It's not Jared. Yours ever pulled

19:04

a knife from anyone. Are you kidding me? He's already

19:06

writing it down. No. OK. I've already written it down

19:08

and put decorations around the name. Let me see. So

19:10

did we all write down who he is? Everyone's got

19:12

it down on the boards? Oh, yeah.

19:14

All right. Everyone's going to turn their boards around

19:16

in three, two, one.

19:20

We got two, Rylings. Why is there a winner?

19:23

One Chris and one Jared. The cat's hiding

19:25

in the news. I said

19:27

Chris. Oh my god. Chills. I

19:29

just think because I know

19:31

you guys, I feel like more on

19:33

the intimate level than I know Chris.

19:36

And Chris is wild. You know what I mean? Chris was circumcised when

19:38

he was like 16. He

19:42

could have been pulling knives on people. It's

19:44

a fair guess. Oh my god. All right.

19:46

Will the confessor please reveal themselves? Oh.

19:51

OK. What are you talking about? You pulled knives on

19:53

people. It was specifically on my brother, but I knew

19:55

if I said my sibling, Chris doesn't have a sibling,

19:57

so that would eliminate him. But my brother

19:59

could get a knife. my skin like no other and

20:01

he liked to be competitive and he liked to just

20:03

poke poke poke poke until I'd lose my mind yeah

20:05

so the only way to get him to stop was

20:08

go to like run to the kitchen drawer and go

20:10

and pull a knife and then he would

20:12

run I would never like do anything with

20:15

the knife but the only thing I

20:17

ever did execute on was pull a candle and

20:19

throw it at the wall next to him and

20:21

it broke through the drywall you guys didn't get

20:23

under each other's skin like that okay children

20:28

I don't

20:30

know if weaponry ever got involved but uh but

20:32

you know I will say I thought this was

20:35

more like a schoolyard thing like when you got

20:37

before a fight you would pull a knife out

20:39

now that I know more context I would have

20:41

picked you for sure I thought Chris you look

20:43

like you might have scraped back in the day

20:46

you were you were a punk rocker you probably

20:48

carried a knife on you and yeah I did

20:50

you're right specific to my

20:52

brother he like took pride in getting under my

20:54

skin it's how he entertained himself but Chris you

20:56

want to get under his Chris would pull a

20:58

knife out at school but he'd be like do you want me

21:00

to help you open something somebody

21:04

struggling to open their coke

21:06

and with their nails like

21:08

sling I got it okay

21:10

okay confession number two I

21:12

used to try on my

21:14

mom's bras Shane me

21:20

no doubt because yes

21:23

I've seen videos what

21:25

are you talking about a brain on

21:27

bras but out of anyone here you probably have

21:29

the most videos of you dressed up like a

21:31

woman on the internet you sold me guys such

21:33

a mafia thing to do I think it's you

21:36

no it's not you would try on your mom

21:38

no I would braid Barbie pair but I wouldn't

21:40

try in my mom's bra I'd be like whoo

21:42

right on told me okay fine that's right then we think

21:44

it is all right we've

21:47

got it down all right reveal in three

21:49

two one okay let me explain

21:57

I don't think you need to Okay,

22:00

let me explain. So I was young and

22:02

I did have breasts. I developed early. They

22:07

were very big. I

22:10

saw a movie where a girl was trying on a

22:12

bra and then I started thinking about it and I

22:14

was like maybe a bra would help me. Maybe it

22:16

would like flatten them, whatever. So then I went into

22:18

my mom's closet and the tatty was

22:20

too small. Oh, they didn't sit. But

22:23

I think that's because I was so wide. Because I was

22:26

such a man. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Alright,

22:28

you guys ready? Next confession.

22:31

I once put a drumstick in my butt.

22:35

This is Shane again. That is mean. That is

22:38

not mean. You told me. I think it's mean.

22:40

Wait, what kind of drumstick? Like a chicken thing?

22:42

A drumstick? Like he didn't write it there. Or

22:44

like a photo book drumstick. Um, it wasn't specified

22:47

but I'm gonna go for musical. Or

22:49

a drumstick like an ice cream. I don't know

22:51

that... Like a chicken? Well, you're

22:53

open sexually but I don't know that he would

22:55

write that down. I need a pen. Whereas Shane

22:57

has told like the internet many times like, oh

23:00

I put everything in my ass. Okay. First of

23:02

all, that's not true. Second of all, I'm a

23:04

father now. Watch it. Not

23:07

that. It's good for entry level butt play.

23:12

If it's not Shane, it's Chris. What is everybody else

23:14

thinking of? What is what? Shane or

23:16

Chris, Jared? I kind of think it was Jared. Well, I

23:18

mean are we revealing at the same time? No, no, no. I'm

23:20

just asking you before I make my comment. Oh, I put

23:22

Chris. Really? Yeah, I put Chris.

23:24

And you put Chris? We haven't revealed yet.

23:26

Okay. Okay. Was it you? Because you're being

23:29

weird. You guys want to reveal? Was you?

23:32

No, it really wasn't. Alright,

23:34

well let's find out. It was you. It

23:36

wasn't. You think it was him? I'm gay

23:38

but I'm not that... Chris, was it you?

23:40

It was, I think, Shane. Okay, let's reveal.

23:43

Alright, ready? Three, two, one. It

23:46

was you! I even drew it.

23:49

Can you see it? It's Tom. The

23:51

butt with drumsticks. Duck. I'm shocked.

23:53

Okay, please explain. Were

23:56

you in music class? Oh, okay, no.

23:58

I had, like, an electric... electronic drum

24:00

kit that I played around with with

24:03

a drumstick smaller and yeah, you know

24:05

early Wow Those are typically larger. You

24:07

know, I was experimenting and he

24:10

liked it Did they like vibrate or something in

24:12

your hand? You thought I want this in my

24:14

butt No, it just seemed like how old were

24:16

you not I don't high school. Oh Now,

24:20

okay. Thank you for being

24:22

so open and honest drumroll, please What

24:30

are you doing? You

24:32

guys ready for the next one? Yeah. All right

24:34

next confession. I once tongue

24:36

kissed my grandma. That's Shane for a

24:38

video Why

24:41

are you tongue kiss your grandma or Jared

24:44

for a video because Jared was doing videos with

24:46

his grand your grandma for quite a while for

24:49

20 granny I think we did one video. I

24:51

think it's Jared. You are very close to your

24:53

grandma Let's

24:55

get Janice on the line Okay,

24:57

it's either Jared in one of his videos with

25:00

his grandma or Shane made Jared do it in

25:02

one of Shane's Why does it have to be

25:04

a video? I think it's Shane because why else

25:06

would you be making out with your grandma

25:08

unless it's comedy? You don't know someone's life

25:12

Chris is it you know, what do you

25:14

guys think? I just don't think Ryland would

25:16

for some reason and I'm it's Shane Okay,

25:20

Jared is it you or Shane I

25:23

think it's not me so I think

25:25

it's Confirmed I

25:27

ready Was

25:33

it for a video no So

25:36

you dare be you do you remember this I Don't

25:39

remember. This is like a core memory and you don't

25:41

remember it. What's that? Where's your trauma? Where

25:44

do we live? Oh my god, our first house.

25:46

Oh So we were early it

25:48

was that was probably like five or

25:50

something We were literally in the living

25:52

room watching TV and then grandma was

25:54

in her like kitchen area eating cereal

25:57

And then you were just like I dare

25:59

you to go Chris Kiss, grandma on the

26:01

mouth and I was just like he got

26:03

dirty. I was like, okay Like I

26:05

was fine. I didn't think anything was crazy about it went after

26:08

it too, right? So I run up to grandma and I'm like

26:10

grandma and I like tug on her and she turns on the

26:12

she's like What and then I just kissed her on the mouth

26:14

and I think yeah, I think I did you let go This

26:26

is all such a cloudy memory and it's been retold

26:28

to me so many times by you So that's why

26:30

I'm surprised you don't remember. I

26:32

don't know why in this moment, but I

26:34

can remember you like doing it now Yeah,

26:36

so yeah, that was that happened rest in

26:38

peace grandma. All right be to the realist

26:42

Alright next confession. I never washed my

26:44

hands after peeing Sanitary

26:49

person I wash my

26:51

hands after peeing in a in a store

26:53

restroom. I mean that's me but I didn't

26:55

write it down If

27:00

I poop I used to I mean I've always washed

27:02

my hands after I go to bathroom But lately I've

27:04

been late because you're you really have to stay But

27:14

I am big on sanitizer just over

27:16

okay, all right three two one it's

27:18

me Wait,

27:24

so what do you mean? So you go to the bathroom at

27:26

Target? You don't wash your hands I mean I'm

27:28

not peeing on myself. You know like I wear

27:30

elastic shorts. I got a situation for the most

27:32

part I don't you know pee on my

27:34

hands and if needed I just

27:36

use hand sanitizer But I feel like touching

27:38

where everyone like 50 people have pooped in

27:40

there that day and they're all faucets

27:42

I agree they're all touching the shit and it's

27:44

like Honestly that fancy restaurants people

27:47

like everywhere the bathrooms are crazy like

27:49

we were at a nice restaurant not that long ago

27:51

I went to the bathroom and where the flusher was

27:53

there was just like a finger of shit wiped

27:55

next What I was like,

27:58

but rich people are gross Yeah, that's true.

28:00

Eugh. Anyways. Um,

28:03

okay. Alright. You guys got me.

28:06

Anybody want to? Yeah, so far the score is

28:09

zero all. Alright,

28:12

next confession. When I was nine

28:14

years old, I started sneaking out of the house

28:16

and getting drunk with my friend. Oh,

28:19

right. Nine? Rylan. Yeah, nine

28:21

years old. Rylan. Or Jared. I would

28:23

say Jared because he now doesn't drink,

28:25

so maybe he started early. Nine? That's

28:27

crazy. Let me give it... Chris, is

28:29

it you? No, you

28:31

mean the cop right now? Hey, Chris. I

28:34

know Chris well enough. I

28:36

know Chris well enough. Was it you? Because

28:38

your family... No, he was the only child, so I don't

28:40

think he was sneaking out at nine. No. Your family's very

28:43

drinky. Like, you guys have a bar, you guys used to

28:45

drink in the house. I think I'd call it... I would

28:47

let us drink though because they didn't want us to then

28:49

go crazy in college, but I would say... At nine years

28:51

old? No, no, no, but I'm saying... When is the first

28:53

drink you had? This is the first one I'm unsure about.

28:56

Well, my brother was three years older, so probably

28:58

like 14 or 15. Okay, okay.

29:00

It's Chris. I'm

29:02

sold on it. Alright,

29:04

everyone have an answer down? Yeah. Alright,

29:06

three, two, one. Chris.

29:10

Well, folks, we're gonna have to go

29:12

live to the nursery. No! A surprise

29:14

guest. We have a surprise convention. No!

29:17

Wait, hold on. Oh my God. Is

29:20

she holding your children? We

29:22

got it. Oh no! Is she drunk right now?

29:24

Get her out of there, dude. Vicki,

29:27

we have a question. Were you really sneaking

29:29

out at nine years old to get drunk?

29:31

Well, who guessed me? No one. No one?

29:33

We all... Everyone guessed me, by the way,

29:35

so thanks a lot. Oh, you're welcome. And

29:37

what the hell? Well, I just

29:40

had these friends that lived down around the

29:42

corner and I would... They would

29:44

come to my window and I slept in the

29:46

basement and I would climb out and

29:49

we would go... And we didn't get drunk, I

29:51

don't believe. And however... So you already had

29:53

a tolerance at nine. Okay. I

29:56

was only nine. We thought it was cool,

29:58

maybe. I don't know. Okay,

30:00

so you don't sneak out to drink anymore?

30:03

Well, I did with my neighbors,

30:05

but they laughed and moved away.

30:07

So no they got in trouble for drinking and sneaking out

30:09

with the neighbors All the time So

30:15

what's going on in there yeah give us an update now

30:17

that we've got you what's it what's going on What's the

30:19

update? I hate to be honest, but it's really

30:21

calm right now. They're both asleep In

30:24

the room where they sleep. All right. Well, I

30:26

promise we're almost done with the show and right

30:28

afterward We'll take some shots in honor of your

30:30

nine-year-old self. Okay. Well, thank you reporting

30:32

life from the nursery. It's been nice

30:35

reporting Okay,

30:43

what do you think should we do one

30:45

more I'm having fun, okay Let's do at

30:47

least one more at least I believe maybe

30:49

two maybe all right One

30:51

more where you guys ready? Yeah confession

30:54

I gave a close friend head in middle

30:56

school and we never talked about it ever

30:59

again I'm

31:05

leaving that is not you because I know

31:07

your first experience you talk about it all the

31:09

time. Yeah, Craig's let's go It's Chris not you

31:11

that was crazy Get

31:17

to another one we all know that Given

31:19

headed middle school 11 to turn was making out with

31:21

grandma's His

31:25

mom's wrong Well,

31:28

I was wearing a piker shorts. Darn

31:30

you to do it. I ready three

31:32

two one. No, I wait I

31:38

Wrote who I was trying to get people but

31:40

that's not the real answer. Oh, yeah Yeah,

31:45

I don't know I mean it was that a sleepover

31:49

There was a friend who had he's like oh,

31:51

I found this magazine that my dad had this

31:53

like nudie magazine And he started like jerking off

31:56

to it Front of

31:58

you yeah, and not first friend

32:00

to do that by the way I've seen most

32:03

of my straight friends work up that's a whole other thing but

32:06

like I remember the weirdest part of the whole

32:08

thing was like the next morning like we were

32:10

at this person's house and they were gone and

32:12

I couldn't like I couldn't find him

32:14

and then I just left and then

32:17

we didn't talk to each other for a few days and then

32:19

when I saw him at school he just tried really hard to

32:21

act like nothing ever happened and we never

32:23

spoke about it again but we would like it was

32:26

weird like we knew this thing I don't know

32:28

anyway nothing is normal I

32:30

think it happens not with

32:32

me but I think it happens you know

32:34

Wow well good job yeah

32:37

okay let's do one

32:39

more yeah let's pallet

32:43

cleanse I like these they're very honest

32:45

and vulnerable okay ready I

32:47

think crunch wraps are overrated I'll

32:49

only pretend to like them Wow

32:52

no fuck you whoever wrote this well

32:54

that's right I could tell I love

32:56

them if you were lying

32:59

about that that's actually scary in psychopaths no that

33:01

is scary and you don't like a crunch wrap

33:03

but I don't think you say you like them

33:05

I love traps I've always thought I look good

33:07

they're the best they have everything you need inside

33:09

of one thing are you lying and then I

33:11

straight now you never like crunch wrap what are

33:14

you talking about and then I miss the crunch

33:16

wraps at home I am Chris is it you

33:18

know I love crunch Chris likes everything and talk

33:20

about that's true I've never

33:22

heard Jared talk about his love of country I

33:24

don't hate them but I don't

33:26

make it a priority to lie about my

33:28

life of them oh I don't know who

33:30

it is all right ready three two one

33:36

you say you don't like them publicly okay have

33:39

you ever added extra nacho cheese I've done it

33:41

all I've done it all and here's like if

33:43

somebody were to ask me on the street do

33:45

you love crunch wraps I'd be like yeah fuck

33:47

yeah of course but the truth is if I

33:49

really ask myself I don't really

33:51

love them I want to love them so

33:53

bad because they're such a cool thing I love

33:55

buying them I buy them every time I love

33:57

holding them I love cutting but you're lying don't

34:00

like them you buy them every time you for

34:02

me no for me no I've never had these

34:04

feelings for you we always cut it into triangles

34:06

and I always take them you always take a

34:08

bite but then you're always like I don't like

34:10

it well cuz I'm honest with you all

34:13

right well I thought that was a fun game it

34:15

was a tie I mean it

34:19

was technically a tie between Vicki and Shane but

34:21

in the room it's Shane although

34:23

he was just that last one yeah

34:25

not a real win no it is

34:28

a real win give me this congrats

34:30

let me have this congrats thank you

34:33

if you guys have any confession send us an

34:35

email she does the podcast stuff at Gmail calm

34:37

and maybe you'll be the one that's thrown in

34:39

the mix to trip us all speaking

34:41

up that was a nice

34:44

harmonized you hey

34:47

sorry to interrupt the show but I have a

34:49

question for you I'm looking at you right now

34:51

and I'm looking at your plate which is very

34:53

empty by the way Wow good job and I

34:55

know what you're thinking God I could really go

34:57

for seconds you know what I could really go

35:00

for just a horse trough sized plate filled with

35:02

pasta just completely filled with

35:04

pasta ooh but I'm on a diet I mean

35:06

we're not calling it a diet we're calling it

35:08

a what do people call it now a lifestyle

35:10

change ooh I'm on a lifestyle change so I

35:12

probably shouldn't be eating two gallons

35:14

of pasta but now you

35:16

can't because our sponsor today is it's skinny and

35:18

they make pasta that is literally nine calories for

35:21

the entire bag and zero net carbs so I

35:23

talked about them before I tried them originally for

35:25

the first time last fall and I was very

35:27

skeptical when they reached out to me I

35:29

was like this is a scam I don't really

35:32

know like how could this be good I didn't

35:34

even wait for them to send me I literally

35:36

ordered some myself because I wanted to try it

35:38

so bad because I am somebody who cannot to

35:41

trigger anybody but you know I've dealt with weight

35:43

issues my entire life I've dealt with yo-yoing and carbs

35:45

affect me very fast so I'm always one that kind

35:47

of stays away from pasta or like spaghetti even if

35:50

it's in it's really good in the moment cuz I'm

35:52

like oh I'm gonna feel bad so when I heard

35:54

about this I was like okay this could be a

35:56

game changer if I like this this could kind of

35:58

be a miracle and this to me was a

36:00

miracle. I was so excited. I literally ate the entire

36:02

bag to a point where I was like, wow, I

36:05

should stop or I will pop. And you guys know

36:07

the fun don't stop till I pop. I'm

36:10

hungry. I shouldn't do this ad when I'm hungry.

36:12

So Skinny pasta has five all natural plant based

36:14

non GMO gluten free ingredients. And they have a

36:16

bunch of different types. They have spaghetti, they have

36:19

fettuccine, they have angel hair. They even have rice,

36:21

which I tried with peanut sauce and

36:23

damn. So if you want to try it for yourself,

36:25

please give it a try. Go to its skinny.com. Use

36:27

promo code Shane 25 and you'll get 25% off of

36:29

your first purchase. That's

36:32

it skinny.com. Use promo code

36:34

Shane 25 and you'll get 25% off of

36:36

your first purchase. So yeah, hopefully you like it. Give it

36:38

a try. And if you do, please send me

36:40

an email and let me know what you put on

36:43

it. Oh my God. Give me ideas. I'm going to

36:45

go eat. I'll see you guys later. Bye. Okay.

36:50

Speaking of your interaction, it is

36:52

time for vagina. Vagina. Viewers are

36:54

great. I need another. Yes. Okay.

36:56

This is the most iconic viewer

36:58

submission we've ever gotten. Are you

37:00

ready? Fuck yeah. This is from

37:03

Rosie. Now you're just throwing CC

37:05

to the wayside. Oh my God.

37:07

You're right. I thought you literally

37:09

had a child. Okay. So this

37:11

is from Rosie and I'm

37:14

just going to give it right away right at

37:16

the beginning. So this is a picture that she

37:18

sent. Look who Rosie spotted in the

37:21

wild. Oh,

37:24

she literally, I was looking

37:26

through a hot wheel bin and she,

37:28

she rolled up on us. And it

37:31

was super cool. What a natural way

37:33

to run into Jared. No, imagine being

37:35

Rosie, right? Shout out Rosie. Imagine being

37:37

Rosie and you run into Jared and

37:39

say, and they're wearing grower and farmer

37:42

merge. That is crazy. Walmart with Hot

37:44

Wheels. She got the quintessential moment and

37:46

Rosie was right. By the way, I

37:48

told Rosie, if she knows about any

37:50

unopened Hot Wheel cases, let me know.

37:52

And she said she would. So wow.

37:55

The audience is real. Incredible. Yeah. Shout

37:57

out Rosie. You, you got the picture.

37:59

That is. the best picture ever. Yeah,

38:01

it's epic. I'm just not holding to

38:03

Stanley next time I'll be having it.

38:05

Right. Okay, this next one is from

38:07

Jera and Jera said happy holidays. Congratulations

38:09

to Shane and Rylan becoming dads. Thank

38:11

you. Her boyfriend and her

38:13

wanted to show a cute picture of them

38:16

rocking the Grower and Farmer merch while enjoying

38:18

a baseball game in Puerto Rico. We grow

38:20

in international. Can I just say that's a

38:22

couple. That is a couple. And the

38:26

fact is, I was going to say something creepy. No, be

38:28

creepy, dude. That's what we're about. It's like kind of giving

38:30

only fans a little bit. I don't know. If they had

38:32

only fans, I'd be like, Oh yeah, that makes sense. Like

38:34

look at them. Yeah, you want to see them talk. I

38:37

mean, I'd watch. I

38:39

feel like they're down to get into a fight

38:41

too. They're down to fuck some people up. Together.

38:44

I could see her be like, Oh,

38:46

really, bitch? And just fucking somebody. In

38:48

fact, they're just proudly wearing this at

38:50

a baseball game. That is a man

38:52

who has so much confidence. That man

38:54

is walking around a grower hoodie and look

38:56

at him. Nobody's fucking. You want to read

38:58

that grower on only fans. Are

39:02

we just promoting their only fans? What is it?

39:04

Use the link. What's the link? You know, you

39:06

know, watch the start one just

39:08

because of this. I mean, do it. Email it to

39:10

Shane. I'll put it in the description. I know

39:12

you can on YouTube. All right. Well, thank you, Jared.

39:14

That was so sweet. Sorry that we just literally

39:17

assaulted you. I

39:20

feel like looking at her name, I'm looking at my name

39:22

on drugs or something like it's the tickets. My name. Yeah.

39:24

I like her name. I love it. This

39:26

next one is from Sarah and Sarah said

39:28

that we are proudly wearing our grower farmer

39:30

merch out the town. We think it's hilarious

39:32

because we're the last man. Okay.

39:35

Can I just say what

39:38

about it? I

39:40

feel like I was going to the email so many

39:43

of you and then we were in real life. Like

39:45

we were actually real life. We were at a restaurant

39:47

and we watched lesbian couple get proposed to like they

39:49

proposed to each one of them proposed to the other

39:51

and it was so sweet. And then the lesbian, one

39:53

of the lesbians turned over and said, sorry to be

39:55

weird, but I love your videos. And I was like,

39:57

Oh my God, lesbians in the wild. The

40:00

lesbians like they don't exist. And

40:02

I love lesbians. I know!

40:04

I vibe super hard with lesbians. Me too. Yeah. They're

40:06

the best. I've always had a best friend who's a

40:09

lesbian. Your best friend is Lizzie who claims

40:11

to be a lesbian. She claims that she's not a lesbian. Oh,

40:14

okay, sorry to out her. Lizzie-in.

40:17

Yes. Lizzie-list. Yes, I've always gone along

40:19

with lesbians. Which is interesting because I feel

40:21

like there's a stereotype that lesbians don't

40:23

like... Oh, are you gonna talk about

40:25

how like, allegedly gay people, and lesbians

40:27

don't like each other, really. Is our

40:29

show breaking that stereotype? Do we

40:32

need a lesbian on the show? Ooh! I

40:34

love that. JoJo. Oh my god. Has

40:37

she not been on our show? I feel like she has. Because

40:39

she was...we filmed a different video with her on a

40:42

podcast there. Okay, get her on this couch. And last

40:44

one, this is so cute. This is from Brittany. She

40:47

said her boyfriend got her the Tumblr for Christmas,

40:49

the conspiracy club cup, and she literally screamed, also,

40:51

we just found out we're pregnant! Oh my

40:53

god! And the advice on being new parents. And here's a

40:56

picture of her cub, and here's a picture of her and

40:58

her man who got her the cup! Oh my god! And

41:00

her matching hand! Oh, you!

41:02

Oh my gosh. Okay.

41:05

Our advice. Whoa. Whoa.

41:08

Okay, calm down. Don't be

41:10

so scared and nervous because the first 48 hours I

41:12

was a wreck, they're gonna be okay. Even if they

41:14

go brrrr, and start choking on something, they're gonna be

41:16

fine. Because they can just turn their little heads and

41:18

spit it out. And if they do

41:20

their first spit up, you kinda just make sure that

41:22

it's gonna go out of their mouth. Yeah. But

41:25

it's gonna be so fun, and you're gonna love it,

41:27

and it's a wild... I mean, we're only a month

41:29

into this, and it's just been beautiful and wonderful. A

41:31

little stressful, but worth it. But

41:34

she got the first thing that she really needs,

41:36

which is a killer cup. A hundred percent. She

41:38

got the cup, you got that situated. You're ready.

41:40

You need the cup for the feed. Oh yeah,

41:42

you're ready. That's like your breastfeeding. You need to

41:44

hydrate. Oh yeah. Um,

41:46

okay. So why don't we do a couple

41:49

voicemails? Hi

41:51

Shane, my name is Brenda. I'm from Arkansas.

41:53

I just wanted to ask you what I

41:55

should do. My boyfriend and I were messing

41:57

around, and I... bedroom

42:01

and he had

42:03

his pants off and he scooted off the

42:05

bed and left a piece of

42:07

poop on the sheet and

42:10

I didn't know how to bring about it but I

42:12

washed the sheets as soon as possible. Okay

42:14

I love you guys take care bye. I

42:16

think the move is to confront them right then

42:18

and there because it's awkward to bring up confront.

42:20

What do you mean? If you have to

42:23

poop stain on our couch or our bed I would

42:25

be like hey brother you need to pick that up

42:27

and go wash it. Was it a poop stain or

42:29

a piece of poop? Was it a little poop? I

42:32

thought it was like a piece of poop.

42:35

No I think he had some leftover from

42:37

a previous wipe. Probably because he sits and

42:39

wipes like he fucking cycles. I think the

42:42

funny part is if they were just messing

42:44

around and stuff he got out of

42:46

the bed that means he had a bunch

42:48

of poop in his butt while they were

42:50

messing around. However you know what I think

42:52

you did the right thing sometimes knowing is

42:55

enough you don't have to you know make

42:57

a billboard about it. Oh I already made

42:59

a billboard. You can if you want but

43:01

I think what you did is exactly right

43:04

and at least you didn't you know put him on

43:06

blast in front of a bunch of people or anything

43:08

like that like calling in a podcast and talking about

43:11

it. Wait a minute. But I think you did the

43:13

right thing. I think washing it and having his back

43:15

is great. I agree. Uh what? First

43:17

of all no no no and I don't want

43:19

to fight. Don't. But you Mr. Poopy butt. Oh my

43:21

hell. Are you kidding me? What the poop you leave

43:23

everywhere you go? Oh my hell. Here we

43:26

go again. Fight for chain and

43:28

violence. Fight for chain and violence.

43:30

Chain and violence. Have I ever said anything?

43:33

Do I ever make a single time? Any

43:35

single time? No. I was just saying. What

43:40

are you talking about? He's stuffing down the shower.

43:42

He doesn't even care about it. Oh like when

43:44

he has a chain he leaves a poopy somewhere.

43:46

He's poopy somewhere. Are you kidding me? I'm like

43:49

go play day or go wipe or do something

43:51

and then he's just like okay. Nope. I'm

43:54

just saying I feel like both of us

43:57

will bring up bodily things to each other. Not like that.

43:59

That's so traumatic. If I left a little poopy

44:01

somewhere on accident, it's like you should just take

44:03

care of it Don't tell me the way I

44:05

do to you every time the only one who

44:08

washes our sheets so you would never know anyways

44:10

Thank you for calling What

44:12

it keeps happening though? Like if this is

44:14

a one about this if it never happened

44:16

before and and like he's gotten out of

44:18

a bed in his wife Numerous times it's

44:21

probably isolated incident. We don't have to investigate

44:23

anymore. You know what I mean? I would

44:26

say it's all about the tone in the

44:28

scenario Obviously if it's a vulnerable thing then

44:30

yeah, you don't want to make him feel like an

44:32

idiot But if you can bring it up in a

44:34

way that's playful or that you guys can have a

44:36

playful that doesn't feel like an attack Yeah,

44:40

well it wouldn't probably feel to masculine have someone playfully

44:42

tell you pooped on the bed You know that I think

44:44

he did the right thing don't I ain't nothing You

44:46

know what I mean? Cuz he's gonna get you back

44:48

on the next one and you won't know that maybe

44:50

you have some poop on the bed All

44:52

right. Let's do one more My

44:54

name's Tori. I'm from Texas so

44:58

Basically long story short. He just says keep it

45:00

short I'm having trouble

45:03

with my boyfriend and I really need some advice and

45:05

I really don't have anyone to go to um,

45:08

I Try to

45:10

ask him for a compliment and the only

45:12

thing that he has ever said is I

45:15

love you like if I asked for a compliment he was

45:18

literally be like I

45:20

love you. Oh and

45:22

also I have to remind him to brush

45:25

his teeth. Is that normal? Really

45:29

remind your boyfriend to brush his teeth. Anyway,

45:31

that was it. Bye Help

45:33

me. I think you need a new boyfriend Pick

45:37

up with the dude, you know I think

45:39

at this point if he's not giving you

45:41

compliments and that's something that you need in

45:43

a relationship You need that kind of affirmation

45:45

and that's maybe your love language or whatever

45:48

He doesn't brush his teeth that seems important to

45:50

you and the way that he says

45:52

I love you I think maybe it's just

45:54

not it's not the move for you, you know, and

45:56

that's okay Here's the thing though in the beginning of

45:59

our relationship He was not a compliment

46:01

giver. And finally after a few

46:03

months I was like, do you like me

46:05

or like anything about me because you don't really

46:07

say anything. And then you said something so unsettling.

46:09

You said, well, I'm just, well, in your straight

46:11

voice. Well, I'm just one of those people

46:13

where like when I give a compliment, it's like real. And

46:16

I'm like, okay, well, you have a given one. So

46:18

it's going to be mine. What did

46:20

I say on our anniversary? It's literally been

46:22

eight years. And he finally, and his

46:24

mom was there to wait and say, he finally

46:26

said, he go, what'd you say? I

46:29

hit the jackpot. I have the world's

46:31

best husband. We love each other. He's

46:33

so thoughtful. You're the best.

46:36

And I like you more every day, which is crazy. And

46:38

I did say we're lucky we still like each other because

46:40

it's been eight years. It just

46:42

took eight years to get that compliment. No, I

46:44

tell him all the time when I was thinking

46:46

there's like certain people raised in a certain family

46:48

dynamic where like that wasn't a thing anyone ever

46:51

did. And maybe they feel weird about it. Maybe

46:53

it's uncomfortable for them to compliment somebody and like

46:55

something they like can't even force out of themselves.

46:57

I'm the opposite of that. So I don't understand

46:59

that. But if there's, if there's way you can

47:01

sit down and talk and he explains like, no,

47:03

I really, like I genuinely love you. I just

47:06

can't express that. I don't know. I

47:08

think that's something that maybe you can work on. I'd give

47:10

him a limit, a time limit. Say like, listen, give, I'm

47:12

going to give you a month. Give me more

47:14

compliments and brush your teeth. And by the end of the month, I'll

47:16

do a review. Yeah. To

47:19

me, it sounds like she's been asking him, like,

47:21

were you that like that with rather than like,

47:23

rather than like, well then, hey, maybe

47:25

it's going to work out. Yeah. I

47:27

was going to say, like, it's something that's important to me. And

47:30

then yeah, over time I did, but

47:32

it's because I knew it was

47:35

something that was important. And now I just say

47:37

them when it happens, like, because I would think

47:39

compliments, but I wouldn't always verbalize them. So I

47:41

would just have that exercise or verbalize it to

47:43

him. Because I'm one of those people where I'm

47:46

so insecure that I think you're only with me

47:48

because of my personality and because you love me.

47:50

So you have to be with me. So

47:52

if you don't say something nice about me every once in a while, I

47:54

still have to be like, you know,

47:56

it's scary. Right. So I

47:59

would have an another open honest conversation

48:01

with him and say this is something that's

48:03

important to me and When

48:06

you think something nice about me, I would like you

48:08

to verbalize it and see Reevaluating

48:10

a little bit. Yeah, and if he's not leaving little chunks

48:12

of poop, you got a winner This

48:15

up and if he does just watch the sheets

48:17

watch the same in an asshole. Yeah, okay We're

48:19

gonna take a quick little break. I'm gonna go

48:21

leave a little chunk of poop in the toilet

48:27

We come back Oh,

48:31

all right. Welcome back. Okay, so you're

48:33

probably wondering why we all have tape

48:35

measures to show our Don't

48:39

give it away. Okay. This is a really fun theory

48:41

and ladies at home I want to give you something

48:43

to try with your boyfriend or husband or only family

48:45

partner Okay,

48:47

so let me explain the theory and how I

48:49

fucked it up So I was watching so we

48:51

were in the nursery, right? So I'm watching Instagram

48:53

reels on mute because I don't want to make

48:55

the baby So I'm going through and I

48:57

see this reel and let me just show

48:59

you and I'm gonna mute it So you so you you'll

49:01

have the same experience I did We're

49:04

not gonna measure people's on

49:06

the internet. We're gonna measure each other Okay,

49:11

so they're all measured all

49:13

these guys are like measuring six

49:15

inches without looking and They're

49:18

all getting it, right? Whoa. Okay, so I

49:20

saw this and I was like and it's

49:23

called the six inch challenge So

49:25

I was like half paying attention. I was just like,

49:27

oh that makes sense Like every guy's measured their dick

49:29

before when they were teenagers So our brains they

49:31

know what inches are so like, okay, that's what the six

49:33

inch challenges So I write

49:35

it down I send me an email to remind

49:37

myself of the podcast and then later I go

49:39

and I rewatch this with the sound and I'm

49:41

Watching I'm like, oh my god, first of all

49:45

It's a challenge for carpenters Because

49:48

I guess every carpenter is so good with tape

49:50

measures that they could not even look at the

49:52

numbers and know In this video

49:54

all these guys are this woman's son. Oh

49:58

She's like filming her son Who are

50:00

all carpenters doing this? And I was like,

50:02

I really misread the challenge. That's great. But

50:04

I already had bought David's challenge. What am

50:06

I doing? So then I'm like, okay, I'm

50:08

gonna reframe the challenge a little bit to

50:10

not just be for carpenters, because I think

50:12

every man is gonna be able to do

50:15

this. I don't think I'm gonna be able to do this.

50:17

Well, we're gonna test the theory. Let's

50:19

do it. Okay, so how you do it is you facing

50:22

away from you. Facing away from you so you

50:24

don't see. Yeah, I won't be able to. And

50:26

you guys are gonna be able to see if

50:28

we're right. Okay, ready? Everybody go to inches. I

50:31

have literally no idea. Yeah, six inches. I'm

50:33

locked in. Oh, no, that's looking

50:35

like five and a half. Oh, I

50:38

have no idea. It keeps not.

50:40

Two hands? Well, hold on. Yeah.

50:42

Okay, there's strategy. What

50:45

if the lady's sons would have done that when she's

50:47

doing it? Well, let me see here. Let me see.

50:51

Okay, ready? So let's all look and

50:54

see what we got. I'm

50:56

at five inches. Oh, hold on. I'm at

50:58

like exactly six. I'm

51:00

at five. Oh, whoa. Oh,

51:03

no. Oh,

51:07

my God. It's like yours maybe slipped a

51:09

little. It was an accident. Yeah, oops. That

51:13

is crazy. Is yours at exactly six?

51:16

It's like very close. Wow. This

51:19

theory is true. It's not just carpenters.

51:21

Oh, my God. I was positive

51:24

I wouldn't be able to do this. Hold on, Spencer. Oh,

51:27

my God. Fucking way. Oh,

51:30

I'm the one. Oh, my God. You

51:32

also get it. This is not. It's

51:35

like I think all of us have eight inch sticks.

51:37

But like, yeah, my two inches from the ground. Right.

51:43

Right. Wow. Look at us. OK,

51:46

ladies, please do this. Is your boyfriends or husbands

51:48

email us videos of you doing this? This is

51:50

the craziest shit I've ever seen. Call it the

51:52

six inch challenge. Six inch challenge. How about this?

51:54

I literally can't believe it. Guess how many inches

51:56

that is. I have no

51:59

idea. Twenty seven. No, no, no, 36. Was he right? Show

52:04

off. I don't know my timetable.

52:07

I don't know my timetable, but I know my inches. That's

52:10

merch. This isn't really a conspiracy.

52:13

I believe it was that last one. But

52:15

this is just crazy. I saw this. So remember we

52:17

talked about in a previous episode the Little Mermaid cover

52:19

that has a dick on it? Oh yeah. And how

52:21

Disney like took it away and it's like in the

52:23

vault now or whatever. Well somebody took a video at,

52:25

I think, Hallmark. And look at this. It's

52:29

on a fucking Hallmark ornament. The dick. Isn't

52:34

that crazy? Wow. Dude, that could be like

52:36

a treasure hunt. That could be

52:38

like a limited edition. Why

52:41

would they not? Why would they sell those? I'm stupid and

52:43

that's how I didn't see the dick. Where is

52:45

it? Oh, it's in the center of the castle. It's

52:47

like six inches. And... Also,

52:50

sorry, I like her nails. Sorry, continue. Do you

52:52

think it's too? Oh yeah, it's very,

52:54

um, Cruella. Do

52:56

you think it's because it's not copyright

52:58

right? It's that... Never mind. What?

53:02

It has to be licensed because it says Disney on

53:04

the top right. Yeah, it does. They literally fucked up

53:06

bad. Pretty worth a lot. They could keep it. This

53:09

isn't really conspiracy either. Oh my god. These are all

53:11

not conspiracy. But before you leave, please don't leave because

53:13

Jared has a mind-blowing conspiracy. I do. I do. That

53:16

pretty soon he's gonna blow our minds with. When you

53:18

do your thumbnail face in real life. Yeah. Jared

53:23

has a mind-blowing. This

53:25

is just something that I heard about and I did no research on

53:27

it. I just was like, oh,

53:29

that's kind of interesting. Very conspiracy theory-like. It's

53:32

from the 90s that you probably forgot about.

53:34

Food products that were wrapped in foil. Candy

53:36

bars like Hershey's Crunch, Kit Kat, all wrapped

53:38

in foil. Some cereals came in a foil

53:40

bag. Those little juice barrels all had foil

53:42

lids. One day, without us realizing

53:44

it, the foil was gone. When did the

53:46

foil stop and why? I have no idea.

53:49

I didn't even Google it. This bitch isn't gonna answer

53:51

for us. Nope. But

53:53

why? Why? Is something wrong with foil?

53:56

Did they find out foil is killing us all and they were

53:58

like, ooh. Just

54:00

take it away. Let's not tell the bright

54:02

send out. It was good for us You

54:04

know now I'm really craving a KitKat and

54:06

a foil that they still rap like Ghirardelli

54:08

chocolates and foil though They do and a

54:10

little tiny baby one look like

54:12

foil, but it's not foil That

54:16

might fuck me. I didn't expect that okay. This is

54:18

a Mandela effect. I'm gonna be honest I don't even

54:20

understand because I was not watching this show But this

54:22

is from Samantha if you have any mandelas by the

54:24

way send it to us at she doesn't pocket stuff

54:28

And she said hey Shane my name's Samantha big fan. We

54:30

love you, Samantha She said I have a new

54:32

conspiracy or Mandela for you. Do you remember Bob

54:35

the Builder? Yeah, I think it's a little bit

54:37

young for me. Yeah, yeah, we can so you

54:39

know it Really

54:42

yeah, I think I

54:44

think my I heard this when my sister was

54:46

watching it as a kid though Who's six years

54:48

younger than me? Yeah? I think it just missed

54:50

me, but I vaguely know the theme song I

54:52

vaguely know about it Okay, so do you remember

54:54

how Bob the Builder talked? No

54:58

No, I feel like I hear like hey Bob

55:00

like the other people talking to Bob right

55:02

well The Mandela is that Bob had

55:04

a British accent the whole time? What

55:08

I guess he did Bob the Build-up.

55:10

Oh that sounds familiar I've

55:13

never I don't even know the song I don't

55:16

know Bob Really

55:19

does he have a British accent? Hello

55:24

Now that you're here in that I just say yep,

55:26

we I hit to Can

55:34

you Google it Feel

55:43

it you know I feel British yeah, okay Well

55:45

we have a follow-up Mandela before we get to

55:47

Jared's big theory, but this is from Liz. She

55:49

said I Vividly remember the whole

55:51

Tana con fiasco happened a lot of people

55:54

were going in hard for the boss guy

55:56

That was riding around on the segue right why

55:58

oh my gosh. Yes Shout out. So

56:00

she said I remember specifically that everybody

56:03

was calling him Boss Baby, like after

56:05

the movie, because in Boss Baby that

56:07

character rides around on a segue. But

56:09

guess what, Shane? Boss Baby never rode

56:11

around on a segue. So why do

56:13

I have a huge memory of us

56:15

calling the guy a TanaCon Boss Baby?

56:18

And I'd like to explain. I don't

56:20

think the segue was part of it. I think he just

56:22

kind of resembled Boss Baby. I

56:25

think that's it. I don't think the segue was part

56:27

of it. I think I should go back and watch

56:29

that to remember. Because you remember, I know

56:32

what. We had this moment where like two

56:34

months or three months after TanaCon, after the

56:36

series came out, all that, I tried to

56:38

set up a dinner with

56:40

Tana and Michael at Hugo's in West Hollywood. Because

56:43

I was like, I want everybody to be friends. I

56:45

want everybody to like, let's all apologize and let's all kiki

56:47

and like, let's get through this. Let's come up

56:49

with some suggestions to fix things. And

56:51

it turned into, it was like Real Housewives. It

56:53

was screaming across the table. At my favorite restaurant,

56:56

by the way, Hugo's shout out. At least we

56:58

were in the back room. So the everyone else

57:00

in the restaurant didn't hear. Crazy. It was housewives.

57:02

I mean, I was like, and

57:04

people were like, and yelling. And it was wild. The

57:06

waiters would walk in and then it's like back up

57:08

against the wall. And then they'd exit because it was

57:10

so tense. So like Tana stood up and she, and

57:12

I don't feel like she'll be mad at me telling

57:14

the story because it was interesting, but she like stood

57:17

up and she's like going in on him and then he's

57:19

sitting there with all his jewelry. And he's just like, and it

57:21

was crazy. And then the food comes in and then everybody stops

57:23

and we just start eating. I was like,

57:26

what's going on? And then like, everyone was being

57:28

very nice to like everyone that worked there, but

57:30

it was like they'd either walk in or they'd

57:32

walk in. It was very

57:34

fascinating. So yeah, Kanacon part two coming soon.

57:38

Boss baby. Okay.

57:41

Now it's time to get to the

57:43

big conspiracy of the day, Jared. Okay.

57:45

So I,

57:49

something came across the desk recently, you

57:51

know, a buddy of mine was telling

57:53

me about this new theory. Now I

57:55

don't know if you guys remember the

57:57

flat earth theory, right? I

58:00

mean theories like that, whether they be goofy or

58:02

not, they're always intriguing to me because it's crazy

58:04

to tear apart the fabrics of reality. So the

58:06

shape of the earth has always been intriguing. Oh,

58:09

that's flat. But well, you know, the fact that it

58:11

could be flat. You know what I mean? Or like

58:13

what people were saying. But the recent

58:15

one I'm hearing about, and I keep

58:17

hearing about this, is that the earth

58:19

might be hollow. So there actually might

58:21

be a world inside of the earth.

58:24

And have you guys seen the movie Godzilla?

58:26

Yes. I guess Godzilla, the whole

58:28

premise of it is these monsters that

58:30

live inside of the earth. And

58:33

then, you know, I was doing a little bit of

58:35

research and I was thinking because a lot of the

58:37

information about the flat earth, one of them is the

58:39

guy that flew up to Antarctica and he saw a

58:41

bunch of weird shit and then so forth and so

58:43

on. But evidently, what he saw

58:45

when he flew over the North Pole

58:47

was a huge opening and he could

58:50

see a whole nother land inside of

58:52

the earth. And yeah, he

58:54

was not able to talk about that when he

58:56

got back. But his name was Admiral Byrd and

58:58

he would go on TV shows and

59:00

like vigorously tell people they should explore the

59:03

North Pole. And it's very important

59:05

for the future and for humanity. And

59:07

you know, so that's just kind of like

59:09

a little bit of it. But as I

59:11

was doing some research, I found a couple

59:13

interesting things. And I thought, well, if

59:16

the earth is hollow, maybe there's other hollow planets, you

59:18

know? And evidently during Apollo

59:20

12, they wanted

59:22

to see how earthquakes, or if earthquakes

59:24

happened on the moon. And

59:26

the best way to do this was they

59:28

would shoot like rockets and stuff at the moon

59:31

and they would see the seismic activity of it.

59:33

And the last thing they shot at the

59:35

moon was their lunar module, which is like I

59:37

think part of what they came to the

59:39

moon on. And when they did that, the

59:41

moon actually rang like a bell. No

59:44

way. So evidently, the moon

59:47

could be hollow. So I mean,

59:49

that opens up some thoughts. And then,

59:51

you know, you think about any kind of conspiracy

59:53

like this, you have to think about who's giving

59:55

us the information that we're believing, you know what

59:58

I mean? Which is NASA. NASA

1:00:00

was started in like 1958 or

1:00:03

so something like that and one

1:00:05

of the things that they were doing and this

1:00:07

is just kind of Like a side thing, but

1:00:09

it was called operation paperclip and they were getting

1:00:11

people that were in the German camp I don't

1:00:13

want to like, you know say the name what

1:00:15

the Germans were during World War two Right, but

1:00:17

they got all these scientists and they brought them

1:00:19

in to like build rockets and shit like that

1:00:21

for us And one of the

1:00:24

guys his name was burner von Braun And

1:00:26

this is just like a crazy thing to even think

1:00:28

about because what what got him like famous in

1:00:31

the rocket world Is he

1:00:33

created the v2 missile or the v2 rocket for

1:00:35

the Germans? But this is just a fact that

1:00:37

blew my mind I wanted to share this thing

1:00:39

traveled beyond the speed of sound at 3,400 miles

1:00:42

per hour So

1:00:44

if it were to be blasted off at us,

1:00:46

let's just assume right now they shoot one to

1:00:48

where we're at Okay You wouldn't even see this

1:00:50

fucking thing or hear it because it goes faster

1:00:53

than the speed of sound and you in light

1:00:55

It'd be like seeing something doing this in front

1:00:57

of your face You know, I mean so just

1:00:59

I don't know when I was researching it. That

1:01:01

was just a moment I thought just imagine that

1:01:03

you're just chilling out one day and you never

1:01:05

even see it coming you don't even hear it

1:01:07

nothing like that and a missile just fucking hit

1:01:09

but the the Germans the

1:01:12

reason this kind of In

1:01:14

the midst of research as well because I had something

1:01:16

I wanted to say flat out But the research got

1:01:18

me all over the place But evidently

1:01:20

the reason the Admiral Byrd flew up to the

1:01:22

North Pole and the government wanted him to do

1:01:25

this is Because they feared that

1:01:27

the Germans were using it for military

1:01:29

purposes and when he went up

1:01:31

there He said he saw like spaceships. He

1:01:33

saw other earthly objects He

1:01:35

he talked to a race of like aliens

1:01:38

that told him that they're very Unpleased with

1:01:40

what humans are doing wait, where were they

1:01:42

they were in the inside of where he

1:01:44

went He flew into the hole inside of

1:01:46

the earth, you know, when there's a

1:01:48

huge Natural disaster that ruins

1:01:50

the earth does that earth just dissolve and

1:01:52

we become well the rich people are gonna

1:01:54

go in it I mean, we'll look

1:01:57

at this. We are all told look up for

1:01:59

UFOs. What if That's just a distraction because

1:02:01

haven't you seen the videos of the

1:02:03

aliens that go just into the ocean?

1:02:05

Oh my god, we know less about

1:02:07

the ocean than we do about

1:02:09

the surface of the moon. Okay, true We

1:02:12

can't even explore the moon or explore the

1:02:14

deepest ocean Oh and we can and we

1:02:16

could only drill eight thousand or eight miles

1:02:18

into the core of the earth and it's

1:02:20

four thousand miles You know large

1:02:23

and this was I mean, this is a

1:02:25

theory that was proposed in like the 16th

1:02:27

century by an astronomer Who is a mathematician

1:02:29

and a scientist? How do you get in

1:02:31

the hole? Cuz I'm thinking if the hole

1:02:33

is like a big hole Helen helicopter All

1:02:35

I heard is that Godzilla may or may

1:02:37

not be real and I'm very excited The

1:02:41

only way to get in the hole is

1:02:44

To fly above the North Pole or the

1:02:46

South Pole where the openings are which you're

1:02:48

not allowed to do why and to go

1:02:50

into it I don't know that you're not

1:02:52

allowed. Yes, you're not allowed to go directly

1:02:54

over them. Why that's a person for safety

1:02:56

purposes Jared you're giving away

1:02:58

our German secrets. We know talk about these

1:03:00

but I mean you tell me the whole

1:03:03

But you have to it all unravels into

1:03:05

again, you know, can we believe what NASA's

1:03:07

telling us? Is the information

1:03:10

real and why was NASA even started?

1:03:12

You know inevitably the reason that Admiral

1:03:14

Byrd talked to these people and they told them

1:03:17

all this stuff is because in The

1:03:19

50s is the first time we set off like

1:03:21

a nuclear bomb and that alerted

1:03:23

the people inside and like oh shit These people

1:03:26

are getting pretty advanced. They're gonna blow themselves up.

1:03:28

So there's a whole world inside of the

1:03:30

earth. It's hollow You

1:03:33

know and evidently that's like the hell

1:03:35

underneath us You know,

1:03:37

it's the other side So God delivers us Kong

1:03:39

just gave away all the secret They do say

1:03:42

that they try to like release information in movies

1:03:44

and make us think that it's far fetched from

1:03:46

reality Yeah, we don't know what the reality of

1:03:48

things is Wow. So yeah, so the theory is

1:03:51

Godzilla try to tell us Yeah

1:03:53

to be true then the earth

1:03:55

isn't flat beer. Oh

1:03:57

no or is it like a

1:03:59

saint? No, no, they actually

1:04:01

the government put out

1:04:03

the flat earth and distract her so

1:04:06

we wouldn't even think about the truth

1:04:09

Earth shut up We

1:04:13

need it together Yeah,

1:04:15

so they were like, oh no, you're stupid.

1:04:17

That sounds ridiculous all while thinking they don't

1:04:19

even fucking know it's hello You've

1:04:24

ever said yeah, so true them putting out that

1:04:26

flat earth thing to like fuck us up I'm

1:04:29

just saying it distractions. Yeah,

1:04:31

what's real? Honestly, I

1:04:33

have no idea On

1:04:37

that note speaking of things that are too

1:04:39

good to be 25 what he

1:04:42

knew it five times five. Oh That

1:04:44

was very delayed Well,

1:04:51

you might not be good at math, but

1:04:53

you know you are good at Ryan's recap

1:04:59

I can't draw actions Please give me

1:05:01

a shoutout Have fun

1:05:04

in the time that is recapping On today's

1:05:07

episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. Hello

1:05:09

as first time dads Our

1:05:11

kids learned here Woooo I

1:05:14

didn't know where I was going with that

1:05:16

They're geniuses And

1:05:18

they're geniuses Are you

1:05:21

okay? Mommy

1:05:23

brain What's happening live in

1:05:25

the nursery? So we're still waiting

1:05:27

for the little ones to wake up and

1:05:30

eat some more and repeat our normal

1:05:32

process They're being delayed a little they're

1:05:34

sleepy. Oh, well, let's wake them up

1:05:36

with this recap Okay,

1:05:40

let's go your mom used to

1:05:42

get drunk when she was nine. Oh In

1:05:45

shocking news. My mom was getting wasted at

1:05:47

nine years old mom

1:05:52

What can I say? Thank

1:05:54

God we're fine. We we all have

1:05:57

our Stanley's. Yes, you have your Stanley

1:05:59

mom My family or

1:06:01

Stanley? Same thing, okay?

1:06:05

Same thing, baby. Okay, I have both.

1:06:08

Nice. Okay, mom, give us a report

1:06:11

live from the nursery. I should probably

1:06:13

go. They're both crying now, or I

1:06:15

should go ahead and mute it. All right, we'll let

1:06:17

you go, Vicky, but thank you for your openness and

1:06:19

honestness today. Yes. And for helping us with our babies.

1:06:21

We'll be in to help you too. You

1:06:24

hear Jim. Okay. See that man wants what he wants

1:06:26

when he wants it. Okay,

1:06:28

Jared confirms that Godzilla and King

1:06:30

Kong are real. Yes. Yes. Honestly,

1:06:33

the most shocking conspiracy theory this

1:06:35

show has ever seen. Jared, shock,

1:06:37

not me, but the world. Like,

1:06:39

I was captivated by your research.

1:06:41

Yeah. Oh, leaving poop in the bed

1:06:43

is okay, and your significant other should give you a pass.

1:06:47

The room is divided. If your significant

1:06:50

other left a shit on

1:06:52

the bed, would you call him out

1:06:54

or nicely be your laundry? If your

1:06:56

significant other Amber herded you, then you

1:06:58

should. Keep that ass a pass. Come

1:07:00

on. Oh, lesbians love us. Yes.

1:07:03

Hello lesbians. We love you too.

1:07:06

Alarmingly, a lot of lesbians watch our

1:07:08

podcast. Alarming. I just hate because like,

1:07:11

I never knew. And thank you, Chris,

1:07:13

for our Christmas gift. We are all

1:07:15

fuckopods. Yes, of course. Oh,

1:07:17

the game of shame is our new

1:07:19

favorite game. Honestly, the game of shame

1:07:21

is my new favorite game. And I loved

1:07:24

learning about all of you in that

1:07:26

way. Like, I would have never known

1:07:28

Chris gave one of his friends head.

1:07:30

It was in high school. Should have

1:07:32

never known, but now we know because

1:07:34

of the game of shame. And now

1:07:36

you all know Shane doesn't love a

1:07:38

Crunchwrap. Yeah. My mom's been drunk at

1:07:40

night. Heartbreaker. Rosie, when you met us at

1:07:42

Walmart, I had not used the bathroom

1:07:44

yet. So don't get any thoughts. I

1:07:46

didn't use the bathroom there. My hands

1:07:48

were clean. We're scooping through the hot

1:07:50

wheels after you didn't... Just brr, brr,

1:07:52

brr, brr. Yeah. Shouldn't we just have...

1:07:54

Make the hot fun. All public bathrooms

1:07:56

transformed to sanitizer? Yeah, for sure. But

1:07:58

you can't... I can't get my

1:08:00

skin and ties off pooped. Okay, you're right. But I'm not

1:08:02

pooping in a public bathroom unless it's in a emergency. Only

1:08:04

in bed. I'm taking an air job.

1:08:07

You can see your side of the bed. Excuse me.

1:08:09

I'm really concerned about your guys' butts. Why is there

1:08:11

so much poop? I'm just talking about all over the

1:08:14

bed. I'm just talking about sweat on white sheep. What

1:08:16

do you mean by side of the bed? Is there

1:08:18

sweat? You mean my nice side of the bed? Thank

1:08:20

you, Buffy. Well, yeah, Buffy is a game changer, but

1:08:22

before, when I first rolled in to Shane's life, I

1:08:26

was like crunching in sheaths. And I was like, when's the

1:08:28

last time these have been seen? It's been changed. It's

1:08:30

like everything you could ever imagine that has

1:08:33

existed in and from a body

1:08:35

existed in those sheets when I met him. Okay.

1:08:38

First of all, you don't wear sheets and you

1:08:40

wouldn't if you didn't have a woman in your

1:08:42

life. Okay. Puerto

1:08:45

Ricans are fans of ours and

1:08:48

they're wearing the merch of the

1:08:50

game. And they might have an OnlyFans.

1:08:52

What's the only fans below? Oh,

1:08:55

um, the builder is British. It's

1:09:01

very Michael Caine and Batman is what I'm

1:09:03

going for. I think I'm, have you ever

1:09:05

done a British accent? No, do it. No

1:09:07

way. Because you're gonna make fun of me.

1:09:09

Just say, pop in the Rory. Okay. Oh,

1:09:12

Little Mermaid still has a dick. Oh

1:09:15

wait. Yeah, it does. There

1:09:18

is. Disney is still trying to teach your

1:09:20

kids about sex, putting dicks

1:09:22

in your home, everywhere across

1:09:25

America. Thanks to the

1:09:27

homework. Legal notes. That's not the theory.

1:09:31

Compliment your boyfriend, right? Oh yeah. Yeah, come

1:09:34

on. It's a new year. Compliment

1:09:36

your boyfriend, your girlfriend, anyone you're with

1:09:38

and make them feel good. Shane,

1:09:41

that blue really brings out your eyes. You

1:09:43

look dazzling. Should we

1:09:45

give them like, like a go-to compliment for

1:09:47

their partners if need be? Yeah. What

1:09:50

do you think? You know, I'd say, I think a good one to say

1:09:52

is, you know, you just look beautiful today. You

1:09:54

didn't say that. Just say you look beautiful. You

1:09:57

look so amazing. But as an insecure person, I'd be like, what did

1:09:59

I look like yesterday? Why just today? It

1:10:02

just struck me right now. I had to tell you. Okay,

1:10:05

wrap it up. All right, you guys,

1:10:07

that's it for today's episode of the

1:10:09

Shane Dawson Podcast. Make sure you're following

1:10:11

all of us on social media, shopping

1:10:13

the merch at shanedawsonmerch.com. Get

1:10:15

your grower and your farmer merch. Maybe you'll

1:10:17

run into Jared and Sandy at Walmart, shopping

1:10:19

for Hot Wheels with the White Wheels. You

1:10:22

definitely will. Happy New Year. You look

1:10:25

beautiful, amazing today, better than yesterday, quite

1:10:27

honestly. And we'll see you next time right

1:10:29

here on the Shane Dawson Podcast. Why was his

1:10:31

compliment to them better than his compliment? Right?

1:10:34

Weird. But, you know, like when you're talking

1:10:36

to the camera, I'm just thinking about my number one as if

1:10:38

it's you. I have a perfect...

1:10:40

He's crying, guys. He's crying. Come

1:10:42

on. He's crying the best. Yeah.

1:10:45

Well, I think I hopefully enjoyed whatever the hell this was. I had a

1:10:47

lot of fun. Thank you guys for doing this. I had fun. I

1:10:50

really enjoyed doing the show. I feel like this

1:10:52

was a nice break from feeding and pooping and

1:10:54

partying. And now I'm excited to

1:10:56

get back in there. Yeah, there's nothing better than being

1:10:58

a parent. But I do think it's nice to take

1:11:01

a moment for yourself every once in a while. Yeah.

1:11:04

All the work. Is that what he did? Why not?

1:11:07

Let's do it. Okay. Thanks,

1:11:09

time. Bye. I'm

1:11:12

scared. This is gonna mean something. Somewhere. Oh,

1:11:14

okay.