0:00

For reference, this is how hairy

0:03

my butt is right now.

0:04

No! No!

0:09

That's on YouTube! Is

0:11

that not going to burn? Oh,

0:14

is that safe? That's not safe. You

0:17

can't put Nair on your butthole. Hello.

0:29

Gail Weathers, reporting for

0:31

duty. Deputy Dewey. We all go a little

0:33

crazy sometimes. This is Casey. Who

0:37

is this? What's

0:40

your favorite Siri movie? Michael

0:41

Myers. Wasn't

0:43

that one of the things? Wow. I

0:47

can't even look at you. First

0:49

of all, thank you for doing this. Of course.

0:53

It's a lot. What?

0:57

Are you fucking kidding me? I

0:59

could kill you right now. This

1:01

is the most comfortable sweater I've ever worn in my life.

1:02

Thank you. Before

1:05

we get into the podcast, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. Scream

1:07

edition. I can't believe

1:09

it's taken us so long to do this. My favorite movie

1:11

of all time besides Titanic. We should do that

1:13

next. Here's

1:16

the thing. I'm pissed. I'm

1:19

Gail Weathers, reporting for fucking duty, bitches. Here

1:21

I am, ready to

1:22

party. Move your fat, tub of lord

1:24

ass now. The thing is, I thought,

1:27

if I'm going to be a girl, then Shane makes me shave. Then

1:29

I walk on set, and I look at Jared,

1:31

and he's got his full fucking beard. Here's the thing. There's

1:35

a back story to it. Jared

1:38

told me all this. I actually survived.

1:41

I'm Casey. I

1:43

survived. I had

1:45

to go into witness protection, though. I'm coming out

1:47

for this. Obviously, it's an

1:49

important podcast. This is my new look.

1:53

I've been taking it.

1:54

I'm on the tee. Little

1:57

facial hair. This is just

1:59

the evolution. of Casey

2:01

Beckham. So you're just a better salesman than

2:04

me. I'm gonna sell you better next time

2:06

on why I, as a female, need

2:08

a beard. It's 2023, bitch. Okay,

2:11

calm down, which I'll throw our hair

2:13

if I want. Okay, side note, we're on

2:15

nipple watch, okay? Nipple watch 2023 because Riley's

2:18

wearing very realistic breasts. Can I just show...

2:20

We can blur this one. Oh! Whoa!

2:23

They're so real looking. It's a lot. I know. They're

2:26

uncomfortable. They're really good. It can turn

2:29

me straight. So what we're gonna do is, any

2:31

time your nipple pops out, we will blur it, but we're on

2:33

nipple watch, so we have to make sure to let Gail

2:36

know when her titties are on. And we want just

2:38

enough without showing too much

2:40

to get demonetized. God, you really are,

2:42

Gail. And then over here, we have one

2:44

of my favorite characters of all time, Billy fucking

2:47

Loomis. Maybe I'll go a little mad from

2:48

that.

2:50

I want you to fucking stab me, rearrange

2:52

my guts, and then spit on my grapes. This

2:54

is a nice costume. You

2:57

look good. I don't... I feel like a

2:59

different person... It's amazing we were talking about this, how a wig

3:02

alone, just like, I'm like, who am I? I don't

3:04

recognize myself, but I don't... It

3:06

does a lot. I love how your makeup's like,

3:08

whoever he killed tried one last

3:10

time to like... One last...

3:12

It's a little tiny hand on his face. Look

3:15

at it. It has like fingers. I

3:18

didn't kill anybody though. Oh yeah.

3:22

I'll get to the bottom of this. That's

3:25

so stupid. Wait, what

3:27

am I? Oh, I'm Dewey. I'm Deputy

3:29

Dewey. Soon to be Sheriff Dewey around here. The song

3:32

that comes up, like it's just so nostalgic. And you

3:34

know, we probably can't play it because of copyright, but

3:36

just imagine. Yeah. Dewey

3:39

walking down the street, becoming

3:41

a thing. That is the

3:44

actor who played Dewey and the actress who played Gail, uh,

3:46

met on Scream and they got married right afterward.

3:49

For a little bit. It

3:51

ended not good. Whatever.

3:53

We're fine. Yeah. Okay.

3:56

Um, anyways. Jared, you look great. Thank

3:58

you. I was actually thinking you don't... look like Casey

4:00

Becker you look more like a record

4:03

producer or like Swedish or

4:06

like the guy who made all Britney Spears hit yeah

4:09

I feel like okay so I feel like

4:11

throughout the episode we should embrace our characters

4:13

so I'm gonna fuck up a lot I'm gonna fumble I'm

4:15

gonna be stupid but lovable Gail's gonna

4:17

be a fucking bitch gonna be very hard

4:20

for me yeah Chris

4:22

is gonna be a psychopathic lover

4:25

because we're not supposed to know you're the killer even it's very obvious

4:27

right now I'm not I've never killed anybody right

4:30

and Casey you're just you know okay

4:32

so oh also

4:33

really quick before we really get

4:34

we've already

4:40

started the show really

4:42

start I want to let you guys know that we have a new audio

4:45

podcast so yes we upload these

4:47

episodes as audio versions on Spotify and

4:49

iTunes but we're trying a new audio only thing so

4:51

there'll be extra episodes if you go subscribe

4:53

on Spotify iTunes it's for free right

4:56

now we have a couple episodes of just me and Rylan fighting

4:58

it's called fight with Shannon Rylan soon

5:00

I think we should do Jared and Sandy maybe we're

5:02

a little bit wise wow I would listen to Jared

5:04

do it for sure for I'm Chris

5:07

um something gay I've

5:09

been doing

5:12

already I'm getting a lot of emails from

5:14

large men who are asking if they're too

5:17

large for Chris's taste whoa that

5:19

is not appropriate what cast for

5:21

him to be like that one's too large no

5:24

no no no that one's fine not at

5:26

all because it's all personal preference right

5:29

like it's only Chris's opinion I don't

5:31

know election of the world's opinion

5:33

yeah so we could do like a rating the bear okay

5:38

it's still a form of like Smasher pass

5:41

which you know like hurt your feelings deeply oh

5:43

right but I want it so bears are okay I mean

5:45

if they're asking yeah it was a honeypot

5:48

we'll figure it out I'll come up with a name um

5:51

okay so I saw something today that I just want to get your guys's

5:53

thoughts on because it made

5:55

me feel very angry and very old and

5:58

very much hating the next generation I'm trying

6:00

not to do them, I'm trying to embrace them. But I saw

6:02

this and I'm gonna text you guys

6:04

right now. I have no reception.

6:07

And we're in the group chat, something really funny

6:09

just happened and then I sent you guys this text.

6:12

Adjubal, I just

6:15

bowled over

6:16

lunch.

6:18

I, yeah, I don't know, what

6:20

is that? No, I just, I

6:22

just bowled out loud.

6:25

Oh, I did it, I did it. Okay,

6:27

I did it, I did it, I did it. It's an acronym.

6:30

I thought it was like when I spell it out, it sounds like

6:32

something stupid. So this is what Gen Z is saying

6:35

to each other now. I just

6:38

blew a load. Oh,

6:41

a load. Oh lord. I

6:43

just about lost it

6:45

now. No,

6:47

I like this, I like this. I just,

6:50

I just. I just became. So

6:52

we're just going. Give us a hint. Oh, okay.

6:54

You threw me off this. I think they

6:56

do. So supposedly, LOL is

6:59

dead. Gen Z thinks we're so stupid for using

7:01

it and they've replaced it with I-J-B-O-L,

7:04

which is so hard to do. It's just like not practical.

7:07

No. I just burst of laughter. No,

7:12

but that's good. But also, that's like so

7:14

much more work type. We did LOL

7:17

to make it abbreviated. Is this real or are we

7:19

making it up? So it stands for, I

7:21

just burst out laughing. Oh. I

7:25

hate it. I want to kill everyone. Billy, don't

7:28

kill them for me. Now this is a crazy

7:30

thing. So I've been seeing articles about this, everybody's saying

7:33

Gen Z canceled to LOL. It's all about I-J-B-L-L

7:35

now. But then when I looked at Urban Dictionary,

7:38

this is a definition from December

7:40

of 2009 by at

7:42

give you Becky, shout out. It says, I just

7:45

burst out laughing. When someone says something extremely funny, you

7:47

say I-J-B-O-L instead of LOL.

7:49

So it's not new. This is 2009. So that

7:51

was the precursor probably to LOL

7:53

too, really. And then somebody found the better

7:56

solution, which was LOL and now,

7:58

choogie millennials like me. Just

8:00

use the cry laffy emoji face because

8:02

it's one instead of three lol.

8:04

It's a lot harder than that Yeah, we're

8:06

looking for the easiest quickest way to get

8:09

the message across. I'm proud to say I've never

8:11

received that text neither Have I that's like

8:13

a hey bud type situation for me

8:15

if you text me that right you'll attack every time

8:17

I won't say it any oh by the way. I dig an email

8:20

from somebody. I forgot her name. Let's

8:22

call her Cindy But

8:24

she said her ick is instead of when guys

8:26

say hey bud the girl version is when girls say

8:29

KK KK Oh, I

8:31

know it's a little less condescending because it's

8:33

not as personal It's not like I'm

8:35

personally putting this upon you like hey,

8:37

bud. It's like I don't even like just a single

8:40

K I feel like it's way too lazy. Sorry.

8:42

I just can't stop looking at your titties Yeah,

8:44

so you know what here's my thought on the whole Gen Z millennial

8:46

thing I'm never gonna use your bubble

8:49

ever in my whole life if I start using that Kill

8:51

me like that's the thing I feel like all the Millennials

8:53

that are trying to be Gen Z It's embarrassing

8:56

right like trying to do the new slang

8:58

and trying to like oh

9:06

No,

9:08

but because no look like a

9:10

record producer no It's

9:13

the whatever is whatevering

9:15

like the garage is garaging because it opened

9:18

yeah the tits are titties It's a tittings.

9:20

I will say I have I mean Jokingly,

9:23

but I have said the math not mapping Millennials

9:27

I feel like because Gen Z like they are

9:30

already over that and Millennials are just catching

9:32

up But watch

9:34

now that it's like such a thing. It's gonna be

9:36

like the lights and lighting I'm gonna start doing it. I was

9:38

just all like foreign to me I

9:41

know I feel good about as a reporter

9:43

on today's world a lot of a lot of my clients you think

9:45

I know Cuz

9:52

they're all short. They're all trying to be young Because

9:57

they're doing short form content and that is what

10:00

That is right now. Um, yeah, so

10:02

millennials out there, keep saying LOL, don't embarrass

10:04

yourselves. Um, okay, really quick, I'm

10:06

just gonna take off my jacket because I'm dying. Okay,

10:10

I know, I said we were done with it and I

10:12

keep bringing it back, but this is

10:14

the perfect test for today

10:16

because we might have a psychopath in the room.

10:18

Oh, I thought it was the blue and black dress.

10:21

No, I thought it was too. I

10:24

got so nervous. A little

10:26

later. Okay, so we have a new

10:28

psychopath test. I have not watched it yet. Somebody sent

10:30

me this. This is a video version of the psychopath

10:33

test. Oof, I love those. We had a nip

10:35

split. Oh yeah. Sorry, I'm milking. I'm

10:37

peeing. Um, okay, here we go. So

10:40

listen up. This is a video. This

10:42

is a put a finger down type of thing. Oh,

10:44

love it. Here we go. Play it home. Put

10:47

a finger down, psychopath edition.

10:48

If you put over five fingers down, you are

10:50

a psychopath. Let's get started. Put

10:53

a finger down if you like to eat ice. Put

10:57

a finger down if you can cry on command.

11:01

Put a finger down if you laugh when kids

11:03

trip and fall. I mean, if

11:06

I know they're okay. If you're a Virgo, Gemini,

11:08

Sagittarius or Pisces.

11:10

Ooh. Put

11:12

a finger down if you were a quiet kid.

11:16

Very loud. Put a finger down if

11:18

you can taste different kinds of water. No

11:22

you can't. Put a finger down if you get annoyed

11:24

when someone breathes too loud. I'm

11:27

saying that to you. Put a finger down

11:29

if you can tell people by their footsteps. Weird.

11:33

I mean, the fuck? Put your finger down if you

11:35

have made the first person you see when you click on

11:37

share then more cry. That's

11:41

so annoying. Put a finger down if you have multiple

11:43

personalities for different people. Comment

11:47

how many fingers you put down, you psychopath. And

11:50

follow for more. Put your finger down. I'm posting

11:52

daily. I did three and I felt like

11:54

I was generous with a few. I did four and I feel

11:56

like I could have done five. Wow. I

11:58

have two fingers left. Fucked

14:00

up hair and I'm here to say no you're

14:02

not fine. It looks crazy I saw you

14:04

on the street, and I was like damn he or

14:07

she or they need hair story I don't want to call it

14:09

out because you know like I'm trying to be polite, but it was a mess

14:11

I'm just kidding. I have not seen your hair that would be weird

14:13

imagine, but I do really love hair story I've been

14:16

using it for months. I love my hair now my

14:18

hair before had some issues And it really did

14:20

fix it like look at this look at the softness

14:22

look at the curls guys you guys already know I've talked about hair

14:25

stories so many times before hair story

14:27

is the best hair product hair company

14:29

in the world And the product that they're most known for

14:31

and the one I want to talk about today is their new wash So

14:34

if the shampoos that you get at the store have a lot of chemicals in them

14:36

I did not know that a lot of things that are actually not good

14:38

for your hair Which is why over time they've been

14:40

saying don't wash your hair more than you know once

14:42

or twice a week It's because the shampoos are stripping

14:45

your hair and like putting weird chemicals on

14:47

your head well new wash has none of that It is natural

14:50

and it nourishes and cleans your hair without

14:52

stripping it or putting chemicals. It saves you money

14:54

You don't have to buy shampoo conditioner a bunch of stuff I love

14:56

my new wash and you can get one of the little bottles

14:58

and it's really cute says new wash on it You can put that in your

15:00

shower. You could refill. It's great. Also the packaging

15:03

is a hundred percent biodegradable Which listen we're

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changing the world ladies and if you guys

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want to try it out, which I really think you should I'm not

15:09

just saying This trust me everybody in my life.

15:11

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and also if you use it and you like it send pictures

15:25

of your hair To change awesome podcast stuff at gmail.com

15:27

so I can see the before and afters and maybe use them

15:29

if you want me to I also Just get excited to see

15:32

how excited you guys are about your hair. Okay, I'm gonna

15:34

go and I hope you enjoy this Okay,

15:38

we're back voicemails so I

15:42

Have what might possibly be the biggest

15:44

banger we've ever had on show It's

15:47

been a while since we've had a new original song

15:49

from viber No way

15:52

I was inspired by so

15:55

many of the voicemails that we've been getting

15:57

about this topic so

15:59

I I got a song specifically for it. What

16:02

does there have to be a title of the segment for there to

16:04

be a song? Is this a song about books? You're

16:06

revealing the title of this segment? Well,

16:09

inside of the segment. Alright, okay. So

16:12

here we go, our new segment on the

16:14

show. Oh! It's

16:16

my husband's day! That's it? That's

16:20

the other one, yeah? I'm kind of

16:22

not sure. It's

16:24

my husband's day! This

16:27

will be what the radio sounds like in like New Year.

16:29

Okay. Oh

16:32

my god, okay! Okay!

16:35

I could listen three more times and I just

16:38

want to say yes your husband's fucking gay if you're

16:40

asking. It's my husband's day! Yes,

16:43

yes. Do you have a date? So yes,

16:46

we get so many voicemails

16:48

to the phone number on the screen right here. Leave your

16:50

own voicemail. We get so many

16:52

women calling asking if their husband's a gay. It's

16:56

like a lot. It's actually kind of a problem. Yes,

16:58

he's gay. There should almost be like a default

17:00

when you call. It's like, is this about, is

17:02

your husband gay? Yes, like the answer is

17:04

yes. You know? It's

17:08

shocking how many married men are gay. I

17:10

know. Like I remember when Craigslist, I'm sure we talked

17:12

about this, sorry this is a review, but like on Craigslist,

17:15

personals when that was the thing, you could look men

17:17

seeking men, and like in like a 10 mile

17:19

radius, I would just type in like married, just

17:22

out of curiosity, and there'd be like 20 pages

17:25

of like thousands. Why

17:27

would you type married? Because

17:30

my friend was like, no, my friend showed

17:32

me. There's no way in a 10 mile

17:34

radius there was thousands? No, I made a million dollars.

17:37

If you're in Hollywood. The way, like

17:39

pages and pages and pages, and each page is like 40, 50 results

17:42

or something, and my friend was like, I didn't even

17:44

know personals was a thing, and he

17:47

was like, look, watch, type in married,

17:49

see what happens, and I was like, alright, and I did, and it was just

17:51

pages and pages, and wife's gone, looking for a guy,

17:54

wife's gone, looking to get real, how many did you get?

17:56

None, I wouldn't hook up with someone in a relationship.

18:00

We learned that pegging doesn't mean you're gay

18:02

though. What's happening? I don't even

18:04

know what pegging is. Oh, really?

18:06

It's a... I can assume. I've learned

18:08

that if you're a straight dude that just wants your prostate

18:11

massage, that doesn't mean you're an F-word.

18:13

But yeah, girl puts on a strap on and, you

18:15

know, handles her man. So I don't actually

18:18

have an is my husband gay for this episode, which

18:20

I guess I just need to go look for one. But I do have

18:22

an is my something gay. Ooh. I

18:25

like it.

18:26

Hi Shane. This is Isabelle

18:28

from St. Louis, Missouri. So

18:31

okay, I have a question, a gay

18:34

related question about animals. So

18:36

my dog has some very weird interests

18:39

and the only way I can explain it is that he likes

18:41

butt stuff. And what I mean by that

18:44

is he will literally try to back his like

18:46

asshole up into your foot and

18:49

like rub it against you. And

18:51

he's already done with my therapist and I have

18:53

to explain to her that my dog likes butt stuff.

18:55

And then she's like, go into detail about

18:57

that for me. What do you think it means? So

19:00

I'm talking to question to you.

19:01

What does this mean? Is

19:03

my dog okay? No, he's gay. Is this

19:05

you give

19:06

me to assume his sexual orientation

19:08

or like what?

19:09

Okay, love you guys so much. Okay.

19:13

First of all, I have questions. Number one, why was your

19:15

therapist there? Yeah, was the dog in therapy

19:17

with you? Is this a therapy dog? Okay,

19:19

I was getting turned on by your. Yes,

19:22

your therapist just come over and your dog's hanging

19:24

out or is it maybe is this a big issue in her life?

19:26

So she's like, I think you should bring your dog into therapy

19:29

and show me. I would ask, do you have

19:31

any carpeting in your house? I know where

19:33

you're going with this. Because it sounds to me like

19:35

your dog has worms. Yes, I was thinking

19:37

that. And if it's backing

19:40

his thing up to your foot, it's probably

19:42

because you're wearing socks. Yes. And

19:44

it wants to scratch its butt on your

19:46

socks. Okay, you cracked

19:49

the code. Well, I'm not well versed in worms,

19:51

but this seems right. If your husband

19:54

backs his ass up on your foot. Yes,

19:56

he's gay. No, he's just straight in like his prostate

19:58

touch. To further

20:00

what you're saying, I googled it. It says like when a dog

20:03

scoots, when it like, you know, on a rut, it's

20:05

like scooting is often a normal response

20:07

to having an itchy rear end, which is either

20:09

due to full anal glands or can be like

20:11

an infection or like a parasite.

20:14

I was gonna say sometimes I get up to the corner

20:16

of like a room, you know, and

20:19

I like back my- You're gay as fuck. Well,

20:23

no, it's because it itchy. Pembroid! Oh, I can't

20:25

get back. Hey. You

20:28

have worms? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

20:30

That's right.

20:32

Hey Shane, my name is Taylor. I saw

20:34

your podcast where you talked about growers

20:38

and showers. Which one? One time

20:40

I hooked up with a guy and when we were

20:42

done, he stood up and his

20:44

dick like literally went inside

20:46

his stomach. And apparently it

20:49

says things like if you Google

20:51

any penis, it's something

20:53

that like men have

20:55

where they're

20:56

a grower, but it goes inside

20:59

their stomach. So,

21:01

look it up. Let me know what you think about that. Come get

21:03

up! Alright, thanks, bye. Yeah, let me

21:06

go to the bathroom right now and look it up. I'll take your

21:08

word, Taylor. I think

21:10

you've done the research for all of us. Wait, but it's like-

21:12

You've led us to a conclusion we can agree on there to give you. In

21:14

Vernon. Okay, here's what I will say. How

21:17

big was the man that you were hooking up with? Oh, yeah,

21:19

if he was a very husky man. Yes, because

21:22

at my huskiest, you know, nearing

21:24

for honey, that

21:27

hot dog went

21:29

in the bun. What? Fupacane?

21:33

What? Fupacane? Oh my gosh,

21:36

what? You're dancing on fupacane.

21:38

Alright, come back in. So you gain enough weight

21:40

right here that it disappears in? Every 20

21:43

pounds you lose, you gain- Really? So then do you have to go searching

21:45

for it if you have to pee? I'm not

21:47

trying to make fun of. No, I'm genuinely

21:49

curious. You just said- You

21:52

push- It's like- Okay, ready?

21:54

Like- Oh, like a push pop.

21:57

Dude, that was like- I

22:00

just want to give. I just wasn't aware. That

22:04

was like science class level. Thank you.

22:07

Well you just did. That was great. Listen, if I was

22:09

for Hyundai again, which who knows, we could get there, I

22:12

would be the best drag queen because it would tuck

22:14

instantly. Well you

22:16

wouldn't have to be naked to be a drag queen, would you?

22:19

You'd still have to put the

22:21

balls somewhere. You shove the balls in there

22:23

too. You shove the balls in the ass. No,

22:26

no, no, the balls go into their own socket. Nevermind.

22:28

That's painful. Yeah. Yeah. I'm

22:31

so impressed by drag queens. Okay,

22:33

next voicemail. Hey, Shane.

22:35

I just have a really weird story for you because you

22:38

need to hear it.

22:39

When I was 19, I

22:42

had a man buy

22:44

my urine off of the internet and

22:47

I put it in a little container,

22:49

shifted off through UPS, and

22:53

he sent me a video of him dumping it in a Ziploc

22:55

bag, soaking cold,

22:57

and showering in my

22:59

pit.

23:00

Is it just like her bragging? Oh, fuck

23:02

no. How much did you get paid for it? It was like

23:04

a pioneer. It ended. So you don't pee, fucking... That

23:08

was iconic. Good job. Oh yeah. Love it. Love

23:10

to see the video. Wait, but

23:11

how old was this woman that sold the pee?

23:13

I don't know what she didn't

23:14

say. Oh, I was like, okay. Well, she was 19 when

23:16

she sold her pee. Oh, that's okay. Yeah. Okay, so legal.

23:19

Uh-oh. Okay. I mean, I don't know if it's legal,

23:21

but... She might be 20 now for all we know. Okay,

23:24

I have a bunch of voicemails, so I'm going to give you guys

23:26

a list, and you tell me which one you think sounds like

23:28

the most fun for now. Woo! Okay, ready? Yes.

23:30

I have one called, uh, My

23:33

Boss is a Bitch. Okay. I have

23:35

one called, Sad Nipples. Mm,

23:37

not me. And I have one called, I Squirted

23:40

in My Mom's Bed. I guess I could say that. That is...

23:42

Wow. And I think I envisioned

23:45

that one. Like, Sad

23:47

Nipples Squirted in Bed or My Boss is a Bitch.

23:50

I kind of have been feeling sad nipples. I'm

23:52

curious on what Sad Nipples could be. Yeah, I'm down

23:54

for Sad Nipples. Me too. Okay. I'm going to have nipple talk.

23:57

Yeah, I agree. Okay,

23:59

my name's Briana.

23:59

And I was gonna say that sad nipple

24:02

syndrome is a real thing. I'm not pregnant

24:04

and never breastfed But

24:07

if someone on myself touches my

24:09

nipples for too long I get extremely sad

24:11

and want to die and it's called sad nipple

24:14

syndrome

24:15

Revote That

24:22

it was like nipples that look funny Okay

24:32

No, this is great boys with a pure joke.

24:34

That's what we got the joke thing jokes

24:37

happen, you know Joke happen.

24:39

I will say I agree with Brianna.

24:42

I think her name was you get sad nipples if I'm sucking.

24:44

I I Mean, I thought it would

24:46

be right. Are you sucking? No,

24:49

I can't have anybody touch my nipples.

24:51

What do it Oh, what about your belly button? I'll scoot

24:53

you over I

25:01

felt like overly giddy, dude Okay,

25:05

okay, let me wrap up the nipples Long

25:14

story short my nipples are created in the factory

25:17

What? Does that

25:20

make you sad? My

25:22

nipples are extremely sensitive because of the

25:25

nerves or whatever after my surgery long time

25:27

ago blah blah blah And

25:29

yeah, if you touch them it like fucking hurts

25:31

So wait, but when you get created

25:34

in a factory like that's gonna be confusing to some

25:36

people Okay, how do I say this? No, it

25:38

is my nipples. So my nipples used to be like this because

25:40

I had big titties You You

25:55

know big a little

25:57

they cut a little circle out of it to make my

25:59

new Nipple, we don't report a nipple

26:01

a nipple graph. Yes, but it like hurts

26:04

me and touch it Okay, and

26:06

sometimes it leaks. Okay. No, it's

26:08

what no, it's I'm just kidding Okay,

26:12

Jared your belly button do tell uh,

26:14

what? Okay. I just don't have my belly

26:16

button touched period and Maybe

26:20

like two weeks. You like eating by you or I Don't

26:23

know. I did touch your belly button It's like anyone share

26:25

in the sentiment does anyone like having their belly button? No,

26:27

I just tried it and I got the egg. Yeah,

26:30

if I touch it at the right angle my dick

26:32

gets itchy Yeah,

26:39

and yeah, you're And

26:42

your ass goes, okay. I didn't know if I

26:44

was alone on that whoa Maybe I was getting

26:46

belly button bang or something.

26:48

I'm dramatic I don't know but

26:51

yeah, so sandy will fuck around and

26:53

try to fuck with my belly button You know what I mean and touch

26:55

it cuz she knows it bothers me and it's like a fun little game

26:59

and one time we were at the store and she was she

27:01

had her card out because in her wallet

27:03

because we were about to Pay right and she went to touch

27:05

my belly button and I I'm

27:07

just reactionary Right and I slapped

27:09

the wallet on accident out of her hand because I was like

27:12

stop move your hands and they had the wallet all

27:14

of her cards fell underneath the More

27:18

little old lady because I couldn't touch it for liability

27:20

reasons had to come over and move this big old chip display Funny

27:25

good story. Yeah What

27:28

is your belly button story because I felt like you wanted

27:30

to relate and it was probably a lot darker I

27:32

just know I just don't like when I get common my belly

27:34

button. Oh Cuz then you have to

27:36

wash it out and if you don't wash it out because you're lazy

27:38

it starts to grow something or just me

27:41

I don't think I've ever had I was shower right

27:43

after every time

27:46

you every time you come you shower

27:48

Yeah, pretty I would even shower When

27:55

I'm coming you shower after that every time Yeah,

28:00

after sex, yeah. Wow.

28:02

Unless I'm not near a shower. That's

28:04

wild. Is it? That's

28:07

a lot. I don't want- None of us do

28:09

that, do we? No. I

28:11

don't. Maybe you're just hygienic.

28:13

Or maybe you guys just get real gross. No,

28:16

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I

28:19

get sweaty. Like, you're active. Oh my god,

28:21

I just remembered. Okay, this is the perfect segue. Thank

28:23

you, Chris. Okay, speaking of gay shit. We

28:26

have not that girl in her nipples at all, by the way.

28:28

Oh, right. I'm sorry about your sentence. Yeah, no, that's

28:31

very- I'm sorry. That's it. Which-

28:33

No, no, we're sorry. We feel bad. Okay.

28:36

We can't help, though. Like, we don't have- What

28:38

do we- I do. I don't even

28:40

have real people. Okay. We were

28:43

in emails. So if you have any emails, you want to send us an email to Jane Dawson,

28:45

podcast.com. We have a Matt

28:47

LeBlanc update. Shut the

28:50

fuck up. No way. We have an update.

28:52

Okay, so if you guys remember a few episodes ago- Oh

28:54

my god. They remember. We had

28:56

somebody reach out to us, and she said that she's related to Matt

28:58

LeBlanc, and that Matt LeBlanc, she was going to try

29:00

to get him to watch the podcast. Yes. And

29:02

we were like, oh my god, Matt, please come on the show. So she wrote

29:05

me again. Her name is Jill. Hi, Jill. Hopefully

29:07

she showed him when we dressed up like friends. We got his agent's

29:10

email address. Yes, we're

29:12

in. We're good. We're

29:14

good. It's actually like less than that.

29:18

Okay. She said, hi,

29:20

Jane. I literally cried watching the podcast.

29:23

Couldn't be happier. I'm such a fan. I

29:25

recorded the clip of you guys talking about Matt, and

29:27

I'm going to show him during Thanksgiving when

29:29

I see him, I will update you ASAP.

29:32

So Thanksgiving's coming up, baby. We got

29:34

our babies. We got Matt LeBlanc. It's

29:36

all happening. I have a pitch. Shut the fuck

29:38

up. Let's put together a little packet for her that's

29:40

like really quick, that we

29:42

can just do like quick flashes, and show

29:45

when we dress up as the friend's cast too. Well,

29:47

yes. Matt LeBlanc, we'll see your tits. Don't worry

29:49

about it. I just want to get his thoughts

29:51

on me as Jen. Oh, okay. Yeah.

29:54

The important thing. I haven't sent in an email, and

29:56

she said, as a person with

29:58

a tooth routine. AKA

30:01

my front tooth is fake. I just

30:03

want to say that that guy that called in is definitely an asshole

30:05

Flash bitch because having

30:07

this shit sucks I'm currently in my six to eighth

30:09

month process of getting a tooth implant and I spent

30:11

almost $4,000 to be tortured all

30:13

because of one freakin tooth So heaven also

30:15

sends us a picture of her with her perfect so

30:18

you can see her front too She's wearing a tooth retainer,

30:21

and she's wearing our merch So

30:24

cute I know and we love you and your

30:26

tooth and any guy that doesn't want to be with you because of your tooth

30:28

Fuck him For

30:34

Okay, Helene sent me an email. She said hey Shane I

30:36

love the podcast and I found some random

30:39

look-alike pictures of you and Rylan So

30:41

the first is your look-alike now. I

30:43

have seen this before on the internet So do you guys

30:45

know who dream is I do actually

30:47

Kardashian I believe so That's

30:50

one of Kim's daughters. No way yeah dream

30:53

dream Get with it so

30:55

yes dream It was a youtuber who didn't have a face

30:57

like he had like a mask on he was a gamer or is a gamer

31:00

And then he did a face reveal And I guess

31:02

I was trending because people said he looked like me

31:04

not in a nice way So I was getting text

31:07

from people being like oh my god. That's so funny I saw you trending

31:09

and I thought I got canceled again, but no people were

31:11

just making fun of dreams saying ew you look like And

31:16

then there was an article that says dream gets bullied

31:19

for looking like no Yes,

31:21

so but if you look at the pictures That

31:25

I kind of see kind of that one

31:27

that one means back in the

31:29

day yeah So yeah, I guess

31:31

I'm to see the dream resemblance. It's

31:34

me 15 years ago Yeah,

31:37

how did he get canceled for looking like

31:40

you? You didn't get canceled for looking like

31:42

you Have

31:44

to look pretty hard And

31:49

then somebody saw your look alike didn't catch

31:51

it okay No, I'm somebody saw

31:54

your look alike. This is you and

31:56

our feet one of our future babies look at his

31:59

hairline so much better than mine. Is that a Barbie? Yeah,

32:02

it's Alan and Ryan. Wow!

32:05

Father and son. Thank you! That

32:08

is gonna be me. Look at with his vlog

32:10

camera. Gay flannel.

32:12

So thank you Helene.

32:15

Okay, so this is, I got a lot of

32:17

emails about this. Let

32:20

me just read it. This is from Janie.

32:23

She said, there's a huge video on YouTube

32:25

right now and everybody's wondering why

32:27

it hasn't been removed. I would love

32:29

for you guys to do a blind reaction to it. Now

32:32

I will say, I watched the first five seconds because

32:34

I'm like, what is this? Because I got so many emails about

32:36

it and I turned it off and I was like,

32:38

I'm saving this for the show. So this is on YouTube,

32:41

not flagged, not removed. This

32:44

is, so just imagine you're scrolling on YouTube. I

32:48

am like, so curious

32:50

what I'm about to see. YouTube has like so many

32:52

restrictions. Yes, they do, right? Is it educational

32:55

maybe? Uh

32:57

oh. Maybe. I think that's like one loophole

33:00

that they have. For reference, this is how hairy

33:02

my butt is right now.

33:04

That's

33:11

on YouTube. Oh, he's putting

33:14

there. There. So

33:16

it is educational. What the fuck?

33:18

Oh

33:21

my God.

33:22

Is that not gonna burn? Oh,

33:25

is that safe? That's not safe.

33:28

You can't put in there on your butt. Three

33:31

minutes because I did that with my armpits. Like I went to

33:33

five minutes. And no, this is like actually

33:35

not safe for people. Right?

33:38

I don't know. Let's see how clean again.

33:41

So far there's no stinging. Nothing's hurting.

33:43

It's all good. It's just like the cut

33:45

and it's new. It was like

33:47

a jump scare.

33:50

Yeah. Scary episodes.

33:52

Are you going to be able to hear us? Some

33:55

hairs came off, but I feel like I need a little bit

33:57

more time.

33:59

Oh no we have a

34:02

kitchen segment suit. We're covering from

34:04

like... Oh yeah I gotta be able to forget about this. Alright,

34:06

should I just go to the end to see the finale? Yeah.

34:09

Of course. Oh

34:11

it looks... Whoa! It looks

34:13

like that lady's dog back there. I just saw

34:15

all the way up his fucking asshole. It

34:18

also like that just with the cream and everything,

34:20

it looks rough. Do

34:23

you think he put that up knowing what he's doing? But

34:25

put it on your only fan. Well cause it's like...

34:28

Are people looking for this? Is there people

34:30

saying like... I'm sure cause I don't think he put it

34:32

up to be helpful. I think he put it up cause

34:34

he wants to get people to jerk off to

34:36

it. How many people have watched this? So

34:39

the only reason that's not taken down is because of

34:41

what Jared said. Is that people education? Educational.

34:44

Wait let's guess, how many of you do you think

34:46

that has? Oh, uh, a hundred

34:48

thousand. Uh,

34:50

five million. It's from two months ago. Oh, a

34:52

million. A hundred thousand. I'm standing by a million. Five

34:55

hundred and eighty three thousand two hundred and

34:57

fifty six. You're

35:00

all fucking wrong. It

35:02

has forty million views. Forty million

35:05

views. Is that... Is it monetized? Probably.

35:09

Damn, should

35:10

I make one? Dude that... Oh man.

35:15

That's crazy. Is that what we need to do on the podcast? Is that... So

35:19

we could have someone come on the podcast and do that. Oh my god. It

35:22

would be fine. Wait. Oh

35:24

my god. What's the whole time if a guy whacks in

35:26

his butt hole? We should have the professional. Yeah. But

35:29

in all seriousness, like if this is

35:31

for education, it's like teaching people

35:33

a dangerous thing. Because I Googled it to

35:35

make sure and it's like absolutely

35:37

avoid getting there near your vaginal

35:40

or rectum. Like if

35:42

it's anywhere near you can get an infection,

35:45

it can burn. It's like those are sensitive areas

35:47

that you should not put in there says like every

35:49

medical website. So don't do that.

35:52

He shoved it inside of his ass. So it's like not...

35:54

It's not... It's like you're teaching people a dangerous

35:57

thing. Oh my god. Wow. Look

35:59

at him hating on a gay person. This is how bad

36:01

you know that he's gay. It's just Billy. Oh,

36:04

yeah, he's straight. Yeah that guy's straight

36:09

What If

36:12

you're I don't shave my booty as

36:14

a gay man honest the God knows off the top

36:16

I have three straight men if you're here not straight

36:18

and your husband nears his if I walked in

36:20

on my straight husband shaving His asshole.

36:23

He does okay No Okay,

36:27

we're gonna take a quick puke

36:30

break When

36:39

we come back we're getting Chris's straight friend on the

36:41

phone I need to get to the bottom of this Okay,

36:44

the bottom of the bottom the bottom

36:46

for sure. Okay, well we come back

36:49

in the conspiracy kitchen and conspiracy theories

36:51

I'm gonna go throw up Hey,

36:54

sorry to interrupt the show, but I'm so excited to talk to you guys

36:56

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38:49

Welcome back.

38:52

We have some conspiracy

38:54

kitchen items ready. I

38:56

have a hot dog. I

38:59

have a hot dog.

39:02

All right. Tonight, so

39:04

you're probably wondering why is there a hot dog

39:07

and just crackers? And crackers

39:10

need a little something on them, don't they?

39:13

Well, lucky for you, I have something

39:15

that you guys have been wanting us to get for a year

39:17

and it has been sold out everywhere and

39:20

I finally found it. I

39:22

hope this is veggie. I have

39:24

whipped cream ranch.

39:29

But don't worry if you're not a ranch lover, I got

39:32

blue cheese. Wait,

39:35

but what's on the hot dog? Imagine this guy

39:37

putting this on his butthole. That's probably

39:39

what he did put on his butthole.

39:45

Okay, so okay, I'll take the ranch. Jared,

39:47

do you want ranch or blue cheese? Blue, no,

39:50

ranch, ranch, ranch. Can

39:52

you tell me why we have cold hot dogs for

39:54

these? And why does it look like there's like honey on them

39:56

or something? Okay, well, let me get to our

39:59

first, this is exciting. Our first

40:01

conspiracy kitchen voicemail a

40:03

fire festival lunch Okay,

40:10

here we go nice hey, this

40:12

is copy and I have an idea for

40:14

your conspiracy Kitchen so

40:17

you can't knock it till you try it because I know that

40:19

you try all the nastiest shirt from tiktok

40:21

But this is it gross. I promise

40:23

Hershey's caramel syrup like you

40:25

do or ice cream put that

40:27

on your hot dogs

40:28

It tastes like pancakes

40:31

and sausage once again, it's

40:33

a fishy caramel syrup on a hot dog Very

40:36

good. Okay, I'm picking the blanket.

40:39

Okay, but not when it's freezing Not

40:42

when it just came out of the freezer. Yeah, it's

40:44

really cool. Yeah, okay, so

40:46

let's take a bite of this. Oh Why?

40:51

Okay, here we go

40:53

Oh

40:56

Beautiful winner system by the way, that is

40:58

good as fuck. Oh My

41:01

god, it's so good. It does taste like

41:03

a pancake breakfast. I

41:05

like it, but it's weird this

41:08

tastes Legit like a

41:10

breakfast plate at Denny's. It's good.

41:12

Oh my god, Kathy Queen. That

41:15

was delicious. It's okay Yeah,

41:18

you're right. I'm pretty into it. All

41:21

right. Well now let's try the

41:24

show

41:38

It's like a whipped cream this

41:41

imagine they'll putting that on your titties Chris

41:46

do you want ranch or blue cheese ranch, please? Okay.

41:49

Yeah, I mean I'll try them both Oh

41:54

my okay,

41:57

we're dipping it in the okay

41:59

ready Three, two, one. It's

42:02

not as bad as you think, but it's gross. It's

42:06

not good.

42:08

That doesn't make it better. They're

42:11

coming off too strong.

42:12

If

42:13

they did a little less flavor. What?

42:18

I just, why? There

42:21

needs to be a petition to keep ranch to ranch.

42:23

It almost tastes like powdered peanut

42:25

butter that wasn't properly mixed. What

42:27

if you just felt like a little? That's

42:30

gross. How are you not throwing up? No,

42:32

it tastes like packet ranch. Like if

42:34

I could open a packet of powder and

42:37

mix ranch. Oh my god. Just why? Wow,

42:40

maybe I'm just hungry. I don't know. I don't think these things

42:42

are the worst. Really? They're not

42:44

good, but. Do you want the blue cheese? Oh

42:46

yeah. That is where I draw the line. Have you tried that?

42:48

No, I wouldn't even smell it. I'll

42:51

try it. You'll try it? Yeah. Oh,

42:53

dude. Oh, you're so crazy.

42:55

Dang. Just psycho. Like a yuck challenge.

43:00

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wow.

43:02

You reacted bigger to that than to the butt.

43:04

It's equally gross. The

43:06

blue cheese has to be worse than the ranch.

43:08

Right. Oh, yeah. So much

43:10

worse. So much worse. Yeah. Historically

43:14

speaking, it's more disgusting. Well, lucky for you,

43:16

we're not done. Oh,

43:18

what? So

43:20

close. Well, since this

43:22

is almost Halloween, and

43:24

we're getting into the spooky spirit. Ooh.

43:27

We have talky zombies. They're

43:31

probably going to taste the same. They just

43:33

are like too flavorful. Now, I was so excited

43:35

about these, because I was like, oh

43:38

my god, zombie green, fun, Halloween. And then I looked at

43:40

what the flavor was. It's a different flavor?

43:42

Why can't they just make it the same flavor with a different

43:44

color? It's cucumber. What? Oh.

43:47

Oh. Cucumber is the grossest flavor

43:50

in the whole world. Jared's already in it. Cucumber

43:52

and water. Cucumber and ranch.

43:54

Dude, that was just too much. Dude, that

43:56

was just chumps right in. Oh

44:00

wait. Thank you. Why is it open already?

44:02

It smells good. Oh, my problem with

44:04

Takis is it's too much. Oh my god. You are

44:06

such a vibe right now with your green. Everything green.

44:09

Oh my god. Okay. Green Queen. Here we

44:11

go. Green Queen. To

44:13

me they just taste like Tostitos

44:15

Lime Solanto. The

44:17

cucumber is prominent.

44:20

Yeah, it's cute. Oh, really? Okay. Well, it's the

44:22

very beginning. It doesn't end cucumber. It

44:24

starts that way though.

44:26

It is cucumber.

44:28

That is so weird that they

44:30

flavored a chip cucumber. Yeah,

44:32

it doesn't really work. I don't think. Cucumber?

44:35

Oh, not the move. Oh,

44:38

I hate it. I'm so sad. I was so excited.

44:41

I can't say that I like it. But I mean, they

44:43

wanted it to taste like what a zombie would taste like.

44:46

Takis are always like too

44:48

much for my taste. I love Takis, so I'm

44:50

so disappointed. I don't like Takis.

44:52

Oh, maybe you should be a little bit of the ranch on it. Oh,

44:56

that might like tone it down in a weird way to

44:59

compliment it. Oh,

45:02

man. That was the craziest

45:04

sound ever. It's like a cartoon.

45:07

That was like a Scooby Doo. It's somehow better.

45:09

I understand. It's because

45:12

they probably like tame each other down. Yeah,

45:15

it's better with the. All

45:19

right. Well, that was disgusting. And thank you, Kathy,

45:21

for giving us our new favorite treat. No

45:23

other food? No, we're done. Hey, sorry

45:27

to interrupt the show, but I'm so excited to talk about

45:29

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47:02

Um, okay. Here we go. Welcome

47:05

back to Conspiracy Corner. Before

47:08

we get into Conspiracy Corner, Jared, do

47:10

you want to play Rock, Paper, Scissors real quick? Yeah.

47:13

Yeah. Alright. Sorry,

47:16

really quick. What color is that sweater? I would say

47:18

that it is, um, like

47:21

a beige. A light beige. Yeah.

47:24

Okay, cool. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot! Chris,

47:27

do you want

47:29

to play Rock, Paper, Scissors? What

47:31

color is your shirt? Uh, white with red. Okay,

47:34

cool. Let's play. Okay. Rock,

47:36

Paper, Scissors, Shoot! Oh my god, it happened! Okay.

47:39

Of course. What? I beat

47:42

you. Gale. Do

47:45

you want to play Rock, Paper, Scissors real quick? Yeah, lime green.

47:48

Okay. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot! I

47:50

win!

47:51

Oh, fuck.

47:53

It got a little

47:55

predictable towards the end. True. This

47:57

is actually from Sydney. Oh my god, Sydney. Hello

48:01

Sydney. Sydney

48:03

said, hey I want you guys to try this on the podcast.

48:06

I thought you would think it was cool. It's a mind trick slash

48:08

conspiracy. To do it, ask someone to play

48:10

rock, paper, scissors with you. If they say yes, right

48:13

before you're about to go, very casually

48:16

ask them what color their shirt is. Wait for

48:18

them to answer and then start and they will 100%

48:20

throw scissors and you throw a rock. And

48:23

you win every time. I almost never throw scissors.

48:26

Pretty quickly prove that to be wrong. Good

48:29

one. But it works with Chris. Yeah. Okay,

48:32

so this is from Jessica. Now you're going to get very

48:34

upset at me for this theory. Why? Sorry,

48:37

just making sure it on lipstick. Is it about that fucking

48:40

dress? No. And if it is,

48:42

I have to take a potty break. Okay,

48:45

okay. I want to save my marriage. This is

48:47

from Jessica. I swear to God. She said, I

48:50

apologize to Ryland. Please don't

48:52

yell at me. I'm sensitive. She said. Oh,

48:55

you know what you're asking for. I can feel it. Yeah,

48:57

it's light. Jessica. She said, I

48:59

was mindlessly scrolling TikTok as we all do. No.

49:03

And a video came up on my For You page. I

49:05

immediately thought of you and Ryland and that maybe

49:07

this will help you keep from filing from divorce.

49:10

Oh. Or it might speed up the process.

49:13

Please do not reference this email in the

49:15

divorce papers. So this is a video that I

49:17

got sent a lot. I'm talking like 200 emails.

49:21

Oh, I'm just going to look at my boobs. This

49:25

is finally proof

49:28

to finally end this. Are you

49:30

ready? I'm going to be so

49:32

cool.

49:45

Huh? Yeah, well, I'm

49:47

not going to lie. I had

49:49

to watch it like five times before I understand it. She's

49:51

just showing the different colors and the colors.

49:54

OK, so let's put those.

49:57

OK, so what do you see on

49:59

the screen right now? On the left, oh my god.

50:02

But this is different from the photos

50:04

and the angles that we were judging. Okay, and

50:06

I'll try. On the left, what do you see? This is so different

50:08

from what we've done before. Never fail. Okay,

50:10

what do you see on the left? The left is black

50:13

and blue. Blue. But the right side

50:15

of the dress is like in a weird lighting, but you still see black and

50:17

blue. Yes. No.

50:20

The left one. Oh yes, but not the right. The right one's white

50:22

and gold. Okay, so the right picture.

50:24

Okay, but as you watch, right, as you

50:26

see him or her cut out the

50:29

black and gold, the right side is white and gold and show you with the, so

50:31

you don't see what I'm saying?

50:33

It changes. To

50:35

me, now it's white and gold. What? Now

50:38

it's white and gold.

50:39

I think we got bamboozled there. And

50:42

then when he brings it to the other side, it's white and gold.

50:45

Okay, but there's no question

50:47

of what like, we want. Yeah.

50:50

I mean, all the emails said my mind is blown. I only

50:53

saw white and gold and now I see blue and black. Like

50:55

all the emails are saying that. Yeah, but I still

50:57

don't see blue and black on the right. Yeah, and when

50:59

it goes there. So like even if you're telling me it was,

51:02

that was never my base of

51:04

the argument that it like wasn't those

51:06

colors. It was in that angle,

51:08

it looked and appeared to be

51:10

white and gold. It doesn't matter what color it actually

51:13

was. It was what I visually saw. Yeah,

51:15

we can't help but we can. I actually still saw

51:17

a little bit of the black and blue on the right side.

51:20

Yeah, because you see what you see. Right. And,

51:23

but the moment you, it took the sample from the black

51:25

and blue and the large, it already turned white and gold

51:27

to me. Yes. And

51:30

so like, yes, it's black and blue

51:32

in that picture, but then you enlarge it and it

51:34

becomes white and gold. Yeah. Because

51:37

that's just what we see. Because that's what I see. Yeah. Okay.

51:40

Well, all of the people that emailed in and said that that was going to shake your

51:42

guys's brains. I'm sorry, it didn't work. It's

51:45

just my brain. Just going to confuse you. It's

51:47

just my brain, Gurly's. I just

51:49

can't get inside about it again. It didn't make anyone

51:51

more frustrated. Now what I will say is there

51:53

is a new version of the black and gold. Just once again,

51:56

here we go. I

52:00

hate to make the new black and gold dress meme, but my friend

52:02

has this jacket and she says it's white

52:04

and blue and I See black and

52:06

brown tell me what you know, it'd

52:08

be so fun as if I agreed with you,

52:11

please God I see

52:13

blue and white. Are you ready? Now?

52:15

Tell me what you see Wait,

52:19

I see brown and black or green.

52:21

I think you see brown I think

52:23

green and the logos

52:25

of brown and then the rest of it's the

52:27

logos like or like gold I

52:29

would say it's an aqua blue with

52:32

white. Okay. Thank you. Right now.

52:34

Anyway, Rylan. What do you see? It's

52:37

like a sand colored logo with

52:39

a green color jacket. Yeah, like a brown My

52:46

god, oh my god,

52:48

wait, what color do you think? Logo

52:51

is like brown or gold and

52:53

then the rest of the jacket is like

52:56

green or black. Yeah. What? What

52:59

do you mean? What? Rylan,

53:01

that's what you say, right? Is the TV black?

53:04

What are you are you? You know, it could

53:06

be like a greenish. Oh my lord Yeah, okay

53:10

No, it's blue. It's a fucking teal

53:13

like light blue sweatshirt with white

53:15

design. That's not what I see Okay,

53:17

let me let me brighten it. I

53:20

brighten it. What do you see now? I brighten it brighter

53:22

version of the It's

53:25

like a forest screen. Yeah, you

53:27

still see block you see brown.

53:30

Yeah Sam

53:33

yes. Yeah, I want to die. I Thought

53:38

this to be such an obvious thing. You guys

53:40

might be colorblind. I'm not I

53:42

honestly think they are I think yeah And I'm not even

53:44

trying to know we're trying to fight. You're trying to start

53:46

fight. I'm really Oh my god,

53:49

I think you're colorblind. What do you think,

53:51

Jared? Oh, there she is Okay,

53:55

let's get off of that.

53:57

Also leave us in the comments below. What do you see? They're

54:00

wrong, right? How

54:02

do you see Brown how do you see

54:04

what I feel like they're fucking you guys can't be

54:07

trusted We're like they are two people that aren't

54:09

related. You guys are two of the same They take

54:11

it very like the problem is one you

54:14

you got brown you see yes Oh

54:20

Right now I

54:23

think it's because you guys are related to the same genetics

54:26

You don't think that it would be weird to have

54:29

a like so what color is the sweater It's

54:32

either black or green. It's like a forest green

54:34

like a dark forest green It looks

54:36

more green than what world our genetics

54:38

doesn't make sense in what world would Adidas make

54:41

a green and all the time

54:43

Oh, no, by the way trendy. I want to be

54:45

clear just like with the dress. I'm not

54:47

saying I'm right I'm just saying what

54:49

I see amen. What's the difference?

54:52

So do you honestly believe that? Like

54:55

they're pretending or is it just their brains work

54:57

differently? Oh, yeah, I think they're pretending You really think

54:59

I feel like you guys are mimicking my thought.

55:02

I'm lying right now about you guys. Yeah But

55:04

you know, I'm not I know you are why

55:07

we fight about this You can't

55:09

understand that that's what I see. I understand

55:11

that you guys See Brown Some

55:14

black going on there's some brown going on there's

55:16

real justified when the comments come rolling

55:19

around. All right Okay, this

55:21

was crazy to me. So this is from

55:23

Nita I have not heard this. Have

55:25

you heard of the Samsung moon? Conspiracy.

55:29

No, I don't know anything about it Okay So

55:31

the Samsung phone one of the things

55:33

that they use to sell these phones is you're like

55:35

the picture is so clear on the camera

55:38

That you can zoom into the moon and

55:40

get a close-up image. So this is a video

55:43

of somebody using this feature I've been trying to do that my

55:45

whole life. I just want to quickly show you how

55:47

great the Zoom

55:49

is on this s22 ultra

55:52

when I guess we're zooming in So

55:55

down in ten times 30 times

55:58

Mrs. Handheld by the way 100 times.

56:00

Gonna

56:03

lock on.

56:06

Take that photograph. Right?

56:09

So pretty impressive. Yeah. Wow. I'm

56:11

impressed. I don't think my phone could do that. Yeah.

56:13

No, I'm always trying. Samsung can

56:15

and that's

56:16

what they were advertising. Then somebody

56:18

tried it. Well, I'll just show you. A

56:22

few weeks ago, Samsung admitted that they

56:24

fake pictures of the moon using AI. So

56:26

someone decided to test it out to see if it's true.

56:29

They found a picture of a regular white circle

56:32

and placed it on the other side of their house. They

56:34

then zoomed in as much as they could to trick

56:36

the phone into thinking it was a picture of the moon.

56:39

The phone camera then replaced that white circle

56:41

with a picture of the moon. Ahhhh...

56:45

What?

56:46

Fucking fraud!

56:48

Can you believe that?

56:49

I respect it. They thought of

56:52

doing that. No! Like

56:54

any time someone zooms in on a white circle

56:56

will put a moon image on it. No, genius. No.

56:59

It's obviously flawed. And this makes me hate

57:01

people that have green bubbles even more. And

57:04

it's not even their fault. Samsung

57:06

marketing is fucking these people

57:08

that I already hate. I can see how that is sketchy.

57:12

So they got caught and they admitted it and they said, yeah, oopsies.

57:15

Sorry, we're just doing it. That

57:17

is good. That's really good. Can you imagine

57:19

being in that board room, being like, this is it.

57:22

This is how we're going to get people to buy the

57:24

green bubbles. Which, did you know, we've already

57:26

talked about this probably, but did you know that Samsung and

57:28

like, androids are more used

57:30

than iPhones? Yeah, that is wild. I believe

57:32

that. Okay, we got an email from Jeanette and she

57:34

said, I have a huge Wendy's update. She

57:37

said, remember that theory that the chili is supposedly

57:39

using yesterday's unsold hamburgers?

57:43

Well, look what happened when I got my chili

57:45

today. And she took some pictures. Oh

57:47

no. So as you can see, in her chili,

57:50

she has a huge, huge

57:53

hamburger pan. Yeah,

57:55

that is. That doesn't bother

57:58

me. me it's

58:00

just crazy to me like because

58:02

they don't say it on the menu on the

58:05

menu it should say using yesterday's

58:09

right it should be the ingredients right

58:11

like burger meat like imagine if

58:13

Taco Bell was like oh so this burrito is from

58:15

yesterday's the unsold

58:17

crunch wrap is it never is it can't say

58:20

a debt about Taco Bell it's always fresh

58:24

is it definitely yesterday for

58:26

sure from supposed employees who have

58:28

emailed us and written on reddit it

58:31

is yesterday I mean maybe it's not we don't want to get I don't

58:33

think that's unsanitary like I think

58:35

the way that they I think that's I

58:37

know it sounds gross but I don't think it's like violating

58:40

any food regulations and right I'm

58:42

an expert it's an insurance still delicious I'm just saying

58:44

crazy to see it I mean I don't want to eat it

58:47

I'll never get my life and I

58:49

yeah we were all just squealing over Wiener

58:52

sizzle okay

58:54

I have a work at Wendy's I should just ask this yeah

58:59

okay so then I got an update about Febreze so

59:01

this was an email that I got and

59:03

the title was Febreze T she

59:06

said do not use my name because I will get fired

59:08

and thrown in prison so this is an

59:10

anonymous email and she said so I work

59:13

at Proctor and Gamble which is the big

59:15

corporation that owns like everything right she

59:17

said I decided to look up to see if we had any files

59:20

about Febreze to see what the spelling

59:22

was and I found this so

59:25

as you guys know we all think Febreze has

59:27

two E's in it right everybody thinks that

59:29

yeah and the actual

59:32

Febreze only has one E in it while she

59:34

looked up Febreze on her Proctor and Gamble website

59:36

and look what she found she found a bunch

59:38

of stuff in the website and in

59:40

their analytics and stuff that had the two E's so

59:42

even Proctor and Gamble so when did they

59:45

change that's what I'm thinking what

59:47

I don't know we need to do some further

59:49

investigative game put on your gal hat

59:52

cuz one is Febreze you know what

59:54

I mean my wig and my mic and you do the work we needed middle

1:00:00

name for our baby. Hold

1:00:04

on. That's crazy. So yeah,

1:00:06

Febreze and Febreze. I knew it. I know.

1:00:09

I know I'm not crazy. Okay, so

1:00:11

a lot of people were emailing me about this and I

1:00:14

actually figured this out. So I'm gonna show

1:00:16

you something and then I'm gonna explain why this is happening.

1:00:19

So there is a clip that's going viral right now and

1:00:21

it's a scene from Friends. Do you remember the episode where

1:00:23

Phoebe was trying to seduce Chandler and she was dancing

1:00:25

for him and he was like, oh no. Oh yeah.

1:00:28

Okay, so on the left

1:00:30

is the version of the scene that played,

1:00:33

you know, back in the 90s and on the right

1:00:35

is the version of the scene that's on HBO Max right now and

1:00:37

as you can see they're different.

1:00:39

Even

1:00:49

Chandler looks a little different.

1:00:58

Okay, so did you notice all the weird little changes?

1:01:01

How did they have access to the angles from

1:01:03

that episode probably that was filmed 15 or 20 years

1:01:05

ago? Okay. It also seems like one

1:01:07

is delayed so it's confusing. Like it was framed

1:01:09

better. So yes, so they

1:01:12

are actually different and everybody's like it's

1:01:14

a Mandela effect. Something changed. How is it

1:01:16

different? What's going on? So what the truth

1:01:18

actually is is that when HBO

1:01:20

Max bought the rights to Friends to

1:01:23

put it on HBO Max, because the

1:01:25

original was in that like four by three frame

1:01:27

and it was like shitty quality, so because

1:01:29

HBO Max wanted the like high-quality,

1:01:32

you know, widescreen version of Friends, what they

1:01:34

had to do was they went to Warner Brothers

1:01:37

and they got the old film that

1:01:39

they shot it on and they had to re-edit

1:01:42

the entire ten seasons

1:01:44

so they would like watch the original and like try

1:01:46

to find those clips and find, but sometimes

1:01:48

some of them were destroyed or some of them were, you

1:01:51

know, damaged or whatever so they had to find alternate

1:01:53

takes. I have never respected HBO

1:01:55

Max more. That's crazy for

1:01:57

the quality of us

1:01:58

and now we can

1:01:59

rewatch it and have like different takes of

1:02:02

Jennifer Aniston. Oh, yes, it's cool but also

1:02:04

it's it pisses me off because we're not watching

1:02:06

what we used to watch when we were little because

1:02:08

it's different Yeah, but aren't those versions

1:02:10

still available everywhere else you can watch

1:02:12

friends on TV TVS. They

1:02:15

had to re-edit the whole show That's

1:02:18

crazy. No, that's insane

1:02:20

Wow so much work So now I

1:02:22

want to go back through and like find all the weird

1:02:24

moments that are different now I wonder

1:02:26

like in any giving like episode

1:02:29

or their scenes like that that are different probably

1:02:31

every episode I would imagine crazy Wow

1:02:34

mission marketing like that's all new friends. Well,

1:02:36

I have an update You guys are gonna get very angry

1:02:39

What? more than the dress

1:02:42

I Have an update the

1:02:44

owner of the jacket has

1:02:46

responded of what jacket? The

1:02:49

Adidas jacket has responded. Oh,

1:02:52

it is about the jacket. Oh, are

1:02:54

they gonna show us a different Where it shows

1:02:56

the act are you ready and don't say anything

1:02:58

until I'm done The

1:03:01

official color of the Adidas jacket

1:03:03

is baby blue and white

1:03:06

Yes we knew

1:03:08

it and And the

1:03:10

owner said she was freaking out because so

1:03:13

many of her favorite celebrities including youtuber

1:03:15

Ricky Dillon. Hi Ricky

1:03:17

B singer Peter B Miller Noticed

1:03:20

the jacket and it went viral. So she's freaking

1:03:22

out and she said it is actually baby blue

1:03:24

and white Okay, we'll show us the picture. She

1:03:27

did know In that

1:03:29

picture. It was not baby blue and white.

1:03:32

I would like to see it like in

1:03:34

full sunlight What actually for the next episode?

1:03:36

Well,

1:03:37

I'm gonna have to search online to find it, but I will

1:03:39

buy it. I will buy that. No I want

1:03:41

to see the exact one from that

1:03:43

girl in Direct sunlight because

1:03:46

why her to buy it off of her. Okay. Yeah,

1:03:48

good idea then You

1:03:52

buying a baby blue jacket does

1:03:54

nothing for me like I don't know if that's the

1:03:56

same one your nipples out good

1:03:59

I don't want to fight Obviously

1:04:01

you do. But what color is this?

1:04:04

But I do have one more optical

1:04:07

illusion. Oh no. Oh no. I'm

1:04:10

so exhausted. Now this

1:04:12

one I think we'll agree on because it's a

1:04:14

brain melter. Okay, can you tell

1:04:16

what building is in the front of the photograph

1:04:18

and which is in the background? Right

1:04:21

away I think the right one is in front. The

1:04:23

brown? Is it brown? On the

1:04:26

right? Brown? Yeah. Okay, yeah. That

1:04:28

one's in front. That's what I see. Okay, but then look

1:04:31

at the one on the left and try to visualize that one in

1:04:33

front. I mean I can kind of... I can

1:04:35

see both. I can see both. I can

1:04:37

see both but... I can see both but...

1:04:40

The more I look at it the more I'm leaning towards the

1:04:42

left is in the front. Look at the left bottom

1:04:44

like that bottom, the three bottom

1:04:46

rows of windows. The only thing is

1:04:49

on the building on the right that's brown,

1:04:51

you can see the patio overhangs. And

1:04:55

it looks like... you couldn't see

1:04:57

those. Zoom in. Here, I just

1:04:59

texted you guys. Enhance! Enhance?

1:05:04

Because Shane's pitching the one on

1:05:06

the left I think it's the one on the right. I

1:05:08

see both. I think it's the one on the right. Is it one

1:05:10

building? Well I know

1:05:12

but because you agreed with me I was skeptical because

1:05:14

I know you already know. I'm

1:05:17

trying to rationalize because you can see the patio

1:05:19

is on the one on the right. Oh shit, when

1:05:21

I'm looking up close I am starting to think

1:05:23

the one on the left. I know! It's freaking me out! Alright,

1:05:27

well do we know? I can't realize. Oh

1:05:29

damn! You don't even have an answer? I'm

1:05:32

really starting to choke in this thing. Okay,

1:05:34

we'll wrap it up. Let's get into

1:05:36

Gels Recap. I can't react.

1:05:40

I'm freaking through the balls. You

1:05:42

have to get a violent

1:05:45

recap. On

1:05:47

today's episode of Gels Recap,

1:05:50

the boys are dressed up as the

1:05:52

cast of Scream. Matt

1:05:55

LeBlanc's watching the show. It's confirmed

1:05:57

Matt LeBlanc is maybe. Gonna

1:06:00

get catch a glimpse of our show.

1:06:02

Yes. We're thankful for it. We're thankful

1:06:04

for it We were on nipple

1:06:07

watch 2023 and we caught a lot 2023 the

1:06:12

storms big and so are the titties

1:06:15

We're gonna have to edit a lot of the nip out all

1:06:17

of it all of it Yeah, is it is it gonna

1:06:19

be offensive if we have a Chris say if a

1:06:21

guy is too big or not? Oh, oh Is

1:06:24

it okay, please weigh in below can

1:06:26

Chris rate? Which

1:06:29

guys are too large for him

1:06:31

to want to fuck Oh Ijb

1:06:34

o L Ibjol

1:06:38

Lol, that's the new term for

1:06:40

all the kids who laughs What

1:06:43

I don't know too much That

1:06:45

was a word salad. Yeah Is

1:06:49

your husband gay? Oh, right.

1:06:51

Oh What was the

1:06:53

song like again? I already forgot in 99.9% of

1:06:57

cases and is my husband gay

1:06:59

the answer is yes that is unless

1:07:01

he just wants to be pegged I mean

1:07:04

we had a real pioneer call in the first girl

1:07:06

to probably sell P over the internet. All right,

1:07:08

right Well,

1:07:11

she got to be back up there not the last

1:07:13

Oh Definitely

1:07:20

problematic news Your

1:07:25

nipples coming out of you Most

1:07:28

disgusting monetized video man

1:07:30

nares himself on camera and it's not

1:07:32

considered porn It's just the way it was edited

1:07:35

it like jumped in there. It was I

1:07:37

wasn't prepared. I gotta take the necklace off I

1:07:39

like literally choking. How about just take it all off?

1:07:41

I can just take it all off I don't know what's going on.

1:07:44

Oh my gosh Wow Doesn't

1:07:51

it feel so good to just get home and take

1:07:53

off your place and then hold on it's really personal

1:07:59

You can mow I don't belong like that. Show

1:08:02

your asshole! Do

1:08:04

you have an air? Because then we can stay monetized.

1:08:08

Zombie Takis! Wow. I

1:08:12

mean the cucumber flavored Takis are the most

1:08:14

disgusting thing you'll

1:08:16

ever have in your life. But in

1:08:18

an ultimate TikTok food hack

1:08:21

for me. Everyone else seemed to hate it,

1:08:23

but I did think the caramel

1:08:25

sauce on a hot dog did taste like

1:08:27

you were dining at Denny's. That looks like somebody

1:08:30

that would be walking with Jared. You

1:08:32

look like a British punk rocker

1:08:34

or something. You guys look like you're in

1:08:37

a band together. I feel like I

1:08:39

can breathe again. You look like Iggy

1:08:41

Pop or something. You guys are wrong

1:08:43

about Adidas and it's proven. Oh

1:08:45

my gosh and Shane's trying to divorce

1:08:47

me again. We're fighting about

1:08:50

another article of clothing and I just won't

1:08:52

believe it. Even if I see that same

1:08:55

article of clothing and it's baby blue and

1:08:57

sunlight, I'll be like fine, but in the picture it was photographed

1:08:59

in, it was not. You okay? What is

1:09:01

happening? I'm sorry. Whoa.

1:09:04

You look like a method actor that's playing the character.

1:09:08

I gotta go. You

1:09:10

want to wrap it up? Thank you guys so much for watching

1:09:13

today's episode of the podcast. Make

1:09:15

sure you subscribe on Apple

1:09:17

Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get

1:09:19

your audio. Audio only. Oh my god!

1:09:22

We've launched our own audio only version of

1:09:24

a podcast. So far it's Fights with Shane

1:09:26

and Ryland, soon to be expanding

1:09:29

into the universe that is the Shane Dawson Podcast.

1:09:32

Hello. You can check it out inside of

1:09:34

the audio feed. Make sure you're watching the

1:09:36

Shane Dawson Podcast on YouTube because

1:09:38

that's where you get all the visuals, all the

1:09:40

tips, all the glory and

1:09:43

we'll see you right back here in two weeks on

1:09:45

the Shane Dawson Podcast after you follow

1:09:47

all of us on social media and shop all

1:09:49

of the Shane Dawson Podcast merch at ShaneDawsonMerch.com.

1:09:53

Alright, Bill, you kill her. And her. Just

1:09:56

throw the knife. Make

1:09:58

it fast. That was

1:10:00

incredible. We love you. Thank you.

1:10:03

And yeah, we'll see you guys next time from whatever

1:10:05

the hell this was We're all gonna go die

1:10:30

You