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summer at your Nordstrom Rack store. Hey

0:56

everybody, welcome back to the three questions. I

0:59

am your host, Andy Richter, and this week

1:01

I am lucky enough to

1:03

be talking to the legendary Ted

1:05

Danson. He is truly one

1:08

of the most wonderful people on

1:10

earth, just an all-around good guy,

1:12

and listing Ted's credits, it could

1:14

take all episode. You know

1:16

him from Cheers, The Good Place,

1:18

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Board to Death,

1:20

Fargo, Three Men and a Baby,

1:22

Saving Private Ryan, and so much

1:25

more. Ted is now the host

1:27

of the new Team Coco SiriusXM

1:29

podcast, where everybody knows your name

1:31

with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson

1:33

sometimes, which is out now. Ted

1:36

has been recording his new podcast here

1:38

at our Team Coco studio, and

1:40

I have been so happy to have him

1:42

around the office. Before my

1:44

chat with Ted though, I wanted to

1:46

just mention once again that we'll be

1:48

announcing my new radio show, The Andy

1:50

Richter Collins Show, very soon. I've been

1:52

having so much fun talking

1:54

to listeners, and we're excited to do more of them.

1:57

If you want to be a part of this new

1:59

radio show, You can call 855-266-2604

2:03

or fill out the Google form

2:06

in the description for this podcast episode.

2:09

And now, enjoy my wonderful

2:11

conversation with the even more

2:13

wonderful Ted Danson. I

2:30

can't remember the name of the guy

2:32

they took to New York for Milton

2:35

Burrow. Oh,

3:00

it's Forrest Tucker. Yeah.

3:05

It's so cool that, you know, the,

3:07

hi, by the way, Rich,

3:09

hi, Rich Tucker. We

3:13

actually know of three

3:15

or four people who have huge coughs and

3:17

we're proud to know the name. We

3:20

don't know them personally. Right, right, right.

3:22

Right. What's the sort of, I

3:24

think it's the sort of thing that

3:26

when you, when you're blessed with an

3:28

enormous penis, you're not afraid to let

3:30

everyone know, you know? Yeah. Or

3:33

you can go the humble route. Right. Yeah.

3:37

But why would you? But why would you? Why

3:39

would you? But what's weird is only other men

3:41

are finding amusing or interesting that you have a

3:44

huge cough. Women is like, no,

3:46

shut the fuck up. No, no. Really?

3:49

Most of the women in my life, whenever they encounter

3:51

a really large penis in the wild, it's

3:54

like, nope, that's a deal breaker.

3:56

Yeah. And the fact that you're

3:58

this breaker and the fact that you're a that you're proud

4:00

of it makes me not want to go

4:02

anywhere near of you. That's right. That's right. Yeah.

4:05

That's right. Well, everyone,

4:07

it's- Here we are. It's,

4:09

uh, you've tuned into Huge Cock Talk

4:12

with Andy Richter and Ted Danson. That's

4:14

actually a funny type. Cock Talk. Huge

4:16

Cock Talk. Huge Cock

4:19

Talk here on Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Tell

4:23

us about your Huge Cock. Uh,

4:25

honestly, that probably would be

4:27

a very listened-to show, like

4:29

stories of enormous penises.

4:31

I, you know, I'm supposed to do a

4:34

call-in show. That's our- Write that down. We're

4:36

gonna- that's one of our topics. Do

4:38

you have a huge penis? And what's great

4:40

is- What's it like? What's it like? And

4:45

it's not TV, so you can just

4:47

bullshit. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Well,

4:50

thank you so much, uh, for coming in

4:52

today. Right off

4:54

the bat, we have to, uh, because

4:56

I've been- This is

4:59

one of those instances where I've been told

5:01

by six people, make sure that you plug

5:03

his podcast. Yeah, yeah. You know, and there's-

5:06

and often guests, there will be- Make sure,

5:08

which I'm- as if I would go, no,

5:10

fuck that. Yeah. Yeah. Let them get their

5:12

own audience. Yeah. No way on

5:15

my podcast will I talk about your podcast.

5:18

But it's really fun. Your penis, but

5:20

not your podcast. Absolutely. My penis, because,

5:22

um, I need to drum

5:24

up interest in my penis. People are already

5:26

fascinated by the podcast. I'm kind of sorry.

5:28

I just let them on. Yeah. It's so

5:30

easy to lead on. Sure. Um,

5:34

no, but this is- because it was- we

5:37

work out of the same studio here,

5:39

uh, the Team Coco studios. So it

5:41

was really- it's been kind of a

5:43

thrill to have you here. It's really

5:45

like exciting to have- because you're- oh,

5:47

I mean, you're a wonderful person. Back

5:49

at you, Andy. Thank you. Thank you.

5:51

And I know that because my wife,

5:53

Mary Steenvirgin, told me that. That's nice

5:55

of her. But, um, but I mean,

5:57

and I've, you know, I've kind of-

6:01

cross paths with you over the years, and

6:03

you always are just seeing like, you seem

6:06

actually too nice for show business. Yeah, yeah,

6:08

yeah. Do you know how many of you heard

6:10

that? Yes. You

6:12

know? Yeah, but it's fine because I

6:14

take a very shallow cut on life.

6:16

So I'm okay with the

6:18

too nice, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

6:20

yeah. Because is it hiding

6:23

something? Are there like bodies hidden somewhere? Oh, no

6:25

bodies, but just very dark. Oh,

6:29

well, good. Yeah. Let's get

6:31

to that. Yes. No, but well, I want

6:33

to talk about you're doing a podcast

6:37

called Where Everybody Knows Your Name

6:39

with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson

6:41

in parentheses sometimes. Yes, which

6:43

I find very funny. And anyone who knows Woody,

6:45

I think will have a good laugh. Absolutely.

6:48

Yeah, I was in a movie with Woody.

6:50

So like, yeah, I think that Woody,

6:53

you know, probably on his gravestone, it

6:55

could put sometimes. Yeah. Because there are

6:57

times he might not be there. Yes. He

6:59

might, his corpse might be elsewhere. I

7:01

experienced death and then I'm going to

7:04

go smoked up with Willie. Exactly.

7:07

Exactly. Yeah. He is, if

7:09

you put a premium on

7:12

living life as you want, he

7:15

is a hero. He is.

7:17

He does exactly what he wants. He has

7:20

engineered a beautiful, wonderful life for

7:22

himself and you know. And that

7:24

sounds or could be interpreted as

7:26

selfish or this and that. Yeah,

7:28

I don't mean it like that. He is one of

7:30

the most loyal friends in the world. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

7:34

no, he has developed a life that works

7:36

for him. He is, he's

7:38

everything that I'm afraid to be. Really?

7:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he is. What's the difference?

7:43

He actually once said to me, Daddy, why

7:45

are you so fearful? It

7:47

was a big moment in my life because it was like, oh, shoot.

7:51

Yeah, I am. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

7:54

Well, like, what kind of things are you afraid of that he's not?

7:57

Wow. to

8:00

afraid to talk with them. Do you

8:02

afraid to talk about them? Yeah.

8:04

Yeah. I need to call my mom and see

8:06

if it's OK for me to talk about this

8:08

stuff. Well, now tell me

8:10

about the podcast. I'm always

8:12

trying to make sure. I

8:15

have a very middle class morality. Yeah. You know,

8:17

I'm trying to be nice to everybody and all

8:19

of that, which can lead you to a not

8:23

truthful place, actually. Right. You know, so

8:25

I sometimes find myself where, actually, I

8:27

have to go. Yeah.

8:31

That was good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. OK. Yeah,

8:35

no, I'm

8:38

sort of familiar with that. I always say I

8:41

suffer from Midwesternism, which

8:46

is kind of

8:49

not necessarily having a

8:51

lot of, I mean, it's

8:53

not a wonder that I found

8:57

my main

8:59

employment as a talk show sidekick. Yeah. I'm

9:01

not one to go, well, here, I'll tell

9:03

you what I want. I'm certainly more one

9:05

to go. Me too. Well,

9:07

what do you want? You know, I'm

9:10

much more comfortable facilitating you. Me too.

9:12

Than I am, because the notion of

9:14

what I want, 57 years old, I

9:18

still am like, I don't really. Yeah.

9:20

I'm going to start firing on all cylinders one of

9:22

these days. I'm just going to stop

9:25

really. So I don't think either one of us

9:27

would be described as alpha males. No. I'm not

9:29

even sure. And in my

9:31

defense, you know what I love to say, and I find

9:33

this partially true, alpha

9:35

males are boring as batshit. Oh, fuck

9:38

yes. They're fucking bullies. They suck up

9:40

all the oxygen, and they're not worth

9:42

the trip. I'm just saying.

9:44

And they're not listeners. No.

9:47

So what's the point of being around them?

9:49

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. No,

9:51

I mean, there's a very famous sort

9:53

of. Do people know we were just

9:56

kidding and that we're deeply jealous of all alpha

9:58

males? I hope they realize. No,

10:01

truly, I'm not. In fact,

10:03

there's an organization that has

10:07

a big campground and lots of influential

10:09

people go to this campground. I won't

10:11

name it because it's no... But I've

10:13

been invited to do it, but the

10:16

thing is, is it's

10:18

all men. There's no women involved.

10:20

And you can easily find out what it is.

10:23

But I just don't... It's

10:25

not... I mean, aside from the fact that any

10:28

gathering of influential people

10:30

today in this day

10:32

and age, especially now and the way

10:34

the world is, if it was Purdue

10:39

University graduates talking

10:41

about their feelings, then okay,

10:43

you want to have your

10:45

male-only thing. But when it's

10:48

deeply influential people from all

10:50

different walks of big time

10:52

life, I don't think that

10:55

keeping women out is really a

10:57

great look. And also, but

10:59

even beyond that, it's just yawn.

11:02

I don't want to go camp out with

11:04

a bunch of fucking men. No, no. I

11:06

don't mind wielding sledgehammers and

11:09

yoho-ho working together. I love

11:11

working with men. They're very

11:13

relaxing. Being with a man

11:15

is relaxing, but it ain't

11:17

where it's at. They're beside the

11:19

point in my world. Women

11:22

have the answers. Every

11:24

family gathering, every dinner party, I

11:26

am wherever the women are. And

11:29

not because like, who,

11:31

the lady? But just because, okay, they're going to

11:33

talk about stuff that I'm interested

11:35

in, not the game and not... Yeah.

11:40

My whole motive seduction

11:43

as a young man was, hey, it's

11:45

me, Ted, one of the girls. Let's

11:47

get naked. Let's

11:51

get naked. Oh, that erection. I'm

11:54

so mad about that

11:56

erection. It's betraying me.

12:00

Okay, we went to penis. We went right

12:02

back to penis. I had no money. Do

12:05

you and Woody talk about Dixon? No, no, no,

12:07

no. Oh, all right. How many...

12:10

But he for a reason. Anyway, go on, go on. How

12:14

often would you say Woody is

12:16

there for the pod? Well

12:19

over half. Oh, that's good. When

12:21

he's... This is not a whimsical thing. He

12:25

did a play in London. Wow. Just

12:27

recently, and so he couldn't be there for some

12:30

of the podcasts for good

12:32

reason. Yeah. I went there to see

12:34

it. Mary and I saw him. He was spectacular. Ulster

12:37

American. He was amazing.

12:39

The whole play was amazing. And

12:41

we got to do a podcast together in London.

12:43

So that was cool. Oh, nice. So

12:46

I am much more the homebody. I really am. I

12:50

love my toilet seat. Let me just be not

12:53

too far from my toilet seat. It's even on

12:55

the couch. Move it to the couch. I

12:58

love home. I do too. I

13:00

do too. I have to force... And

13:03

lately I've been trying to force

13:05

myself out because it's good

13:07

for me. Because I can

13:10

far too easily just

13:12

recede into my house and... I

13:14

think that's why I'm enjoying a

13:16

podcast so much. People who I

13:18

would not necessarily go put myself

13:20

in a position where we could

13:23

hang out together. I get

13:25

to sit opposite you for

13:27

45 minutes and find out what it means to be

13:29

you. And that's very cool

13:31

to me. And it's something that my

13:34

personality has not allowed me or

13:36

whatever to do. And

13:39

I miss that. I do like the company

13:41

of men. And

13:43

I do love finding out what makes people

13:45

tick. Yeah, that's the idea of this one.

13:47

But in public, I'm shy. Yeah.

13:51

Well, it's also I've found, especially

13:54

because I've had people on this podcast

13:57

who are dear, dear friends. and have

13:59

been dear, dear friends for many, many

14:01

years, but I get to ask

14:04

him questions that would be kind of... Weird,

14:06

sitting... Yeah, it'd be weird to be sitting

14:08

across him from lunch and be like, so how

14:10

did you feel about your dad? Yeah. So,

14:14

well speaking of... Which

14:18

girls do, women do

14:20

sit there and get to the

14:23

deep stuff. Absolutely. Over a cup of coffee. Absolutely.

14:25

Which is why we hang out with them. And

14:27

that's exactly what I like is like, this

14:30

podcast is meant to be, I mean,

14:32

the questions, where do you come from, where are

14:34

you going and what have you learned? It's like,

14:36

who are, you know... Where are you? Where are

14:38

you and why are you like you are? To

14:41

me, if you don't wanna talk

14:43

about that, I don't... What

14:45

are you doing? Clock's ticking, baby.

14:49

You better figure some stuff out

14:51

because it's, you know,

14:53

as they say, times are wasting. Boy,

14:55

I'm not that guy. I vomit

14:57

my life out on people at the

14:59

drop of a hat. I think people

15:01

would pay me to please, don't talk,

15:03

don't share, don't cry. Oh,

15:06

come on. Are you crying? Oh,

15:08

shit. I think this is

15:10

your stop, your bus stop. Yeah,

15:14

no, I find that too. I found

15:16

many times that I have had to

15:18

tell myself, when somebody says, how's

15:20

things? They don't really want you to

15:22

tell me. Cause I'm like, all right,

15:25

I'll tell you. There's many,

15:27

many times in my life where I realize, oh, shit,

15:30

that was just a nicety. They

15:32

don't really wanna know about your, you

15:34

know, your existential

15:38

bullshit. Well,

15:40

now you, you're a Westerner. Yes,

15:44

with a twist. With a twist? Yeah,

15:47

I mean, I have a big

15:49

Scottish back. Both grandparents were born

15:53

in London, both grandfathers.

15:57

One of them was Scottish who ended up. by

16:00

chance, being born in London and then stuck

16:02

over here during the war, World War II.

16:05

So he was ferociously Scottish.

16:09

My father was raised in Cincinnati,

16:11

Ohio, kind of

16:14

before the Depression, kind of upstairs, downstairs,

16:16

in chauffeurs, the whole deal. Oh, really?

16:19

Wow. The whole deal. His father

16:21

was an industrialist, as it were. And then

16:23

that all kind of mostly

16:26

went away and he

16:28

became an archaeologist, where he made $10,000

16:30

a year. Yeah, yeah. And

16:33

that's what you got to benefit of. Yeah, I got to be that kind of

16:35

guy. But it was also a

16:37

great message about money, because money, we

16:39

didn't spend a lot of money, but

16:42

money was never an issue, because

16:45

in his mind it really wasn't, because he

16:47

had had that upbringing. Right.

16:50

But anyway, so yes, I grew

16:52

up in Flagstaff, Arizona mostly. Most

16:55

of my friends were... Your dad was an

16:57

archaeologist there. And became

16:59

the director of the Museum and Research

17:01

Center in Flagstaff. Oh, wow. He

17:04

taught archaeology and anthropology in University

17:06

of Tucson, Arizona. Then

17:08

in the mid-'50s, moved up to Flagstaff

17:11

and became the director. Wow. And

17:13

was your mom scholarly too? She

17:17

is... My mom, I

17:20

love false humility, right? That's

17:23

where I live. My mom taught me that one. She

17:26

would make sure everyone knew

17:28

that she did not go to college. Yeah.

17:31

And that car she was driving cost $200. She

17:33

was one of those people. So

17:37

she wasn't scholarly, and yet she was

17:39

so well read. So

17:42

bright, so smart. Yeah, yeah. Every

17:44

once in a while hide behind the, I didn't

17:46

go to college, but she was incredibly smart. Yeah,

17:49

to keep... Her emotional IQ was

17:51

high. Yeah. I

17:53

mean, I kind of have it too, you know, like wanting

17:55

to be humble, but also

17:58

like, yeah, I

18:00

can't stand 95% of the population. You

18:03

know? I say humbly.

18:05

I say humbly. I say most people are

18:07

boring, but that, you know, but I'm salt

18:10

of the earth. Yeah.

18:13

Well, now, you were born

18:16

in San Diego. Why San Diego

18:18

birth? Just after the war, baby, 47. Oh,

18:21

okay. So they hadn't settled in

18:23

Arizona yet? No. Oh,

18:25

I see. Mercy Hospital, San

18:28

Diego, then Coronado Island, and

18:31

then a year teaching,

18:33

my father teaching in Boulder,

18:35

Colorado, and then Tucson. Yeah.

18:38

And then till the mid-50s. Does

18:41

Arizona still have kind of the feeling of

18:43

home to you when you go? Yes,

18:45

but not on a, oh,

18:47

there my buddy is there, my here, my,

18:50

but the sounds, the smell, the silence,

18:53

the, yeah, the place, the

18:55

place. So when I drive out,

18:57

I had

18:59

a really kind of, not

19:02

exotic, but the

19:05

museum that my father was the

19:07

director of in Flagstaff was partially

19:09

dedicated, besides being a natural history

19:12

museum, to Hobie, Naba, Hosuni, Pueblo,

19:14

all the tribes in the Four

19:17

Corners area, to support their

19:19

culture, arts, and crafts, and

19:23

give them an outlet. So when

19:27

we first moved there, you'd buy the most

19:29

beautiful antique jewelry at a pawn shop

19:32

portion of the liquor store. Yeah.

19:36

Because they, the tribes couldn't drink on

19:38

the reservations. Yeah. And

19:40

so they would come in and pawn the most,

19:42

and that stopped when my father started

19:45

giving them an outlet at the museum. There

19:47

would be shows and they would sell their

19:50

astounding jewelry and pots and bags.

19:52

Anyway, I grew up with Hopi

19:55

and Naba, mostly Hopi kids who

19:57

worked, whose parents worked at the

19:59

museum. I would get

20:01

to drive out with them on

20:03

their pickup on the weekends and

20:05

hope he live on three maces

20:07

in northern Arizona and they've lived

20:09

in these villages for 500

20:12

600 years because they never got moved by the US yeah because they never went

20:18

to war with the US so it

20:20

was an amazing thing to be playing

20:23

around the dirt plazas where they

20:25

would be they would have

20:27

kachinas dancing to their

20:29

gods yeah and in the same

20:31

way they had for

20:34

centuries yeah and I got

20:38

to you know have that with my

20:40

friend Raymond and then

20:43

go to the Episcopal Church on Sunday

20:46

you know and have it mean the same

20:48

thing my parents were pretty cool that way

20:50

that is you know it was like oh

20:52

these people relate to their

20:54

their you know higher selves their gods their whatever

20:56

this way and we do it this way and

20:59

they're both equal yeah it was a really lovely

21:01

kind of thing to have but I

21:03

grew up jumping on horses bareback

21:06

and riding that away or this away or

21:08

whatever I wanted to it was really lovely

21:10

until I was about 15 then it was

21:12

like give me a car I want a

21:14

car and tell me about

21:16

women what is this again how's that

21:18

work and sports too right didn't you

21:20

know basketball play I was a naive

21:24

passionate basketball

21:27

player I'm naive meaning my I

21:31

went to Stanford University yeah

21:33

and immediately decided to

21:35

try out for freshman basketball this was the

21:38

same year that Lou Alcindor was a freshman

21:40

at UCLA yeah well I didn't even

21:42

put my foot on the court I

21:45

looked through the doors and went oh

21:47

fuck yeah different yeah no this is

21:49

a different game right I broke my

21:51

heart but set me up to find

21:54

acting later on I remember

21:56

the first time I heard

21:58

applause being in a play or somebody who went,

22:01

it's not basketball, but pretty

22:03

good. Close, yeah, yeah. Pretty good. Yeah,

22:06

yeah. Pretty good. ["The Community

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details. At

24:10

that point, had your focus pretty much just been

24:12

on sports? Like, is that

24:14

kind of what you saw? No, I see. I

24:16

went from my

24:18

friend Raymond, you know, Hopi

24:21

Nabaho. There's

24:23

an innocence there, you

24:25

know. It's not, you

24:28

don't sit down with Hopi and

24:30

be caustic and cynical and one-up

24:33

and chimp and funny. You're

24:35

funny and you giggle and laugh a

24:37

lot, but there's not that... Snark.

24:40

Yeah, there's not anything

24:43

like that. And there are other stuff, I'm

24:45

sure, but not that. And then I

24:47

went to a prep school in New England. So

24:50

I pretty... But how long? Five

24:52

years. Wow. And I went

24:54

to a school system, Kent School for Boys. Wow. And

24:57

it was scary the first three years because it was

24:59

based on an old English school system. Yeah. It

25:02

was founded by Father Sills, an Englishman. And,

25:05

you know, there was that thing where the

25:07

older person, you know,

25:09

upperclassmen could almost beat the

25:11

shit out of you. Yeah. And you had to

25:13

do what they said. And so it

25:15

was a fearful time for a

25:17

13-year-old boy. Sure. And especially not

25:20

at home. No, and not at home. And not with

25:22

my... I can't even fathom that. Not

25:26

with my friend Raymond. Yeah,

25:28

yeah. You know, laughing and giggling and being out

25:30

in the middle of nature riding horses. Yeah. It

25:33

was the exact opposite. Madras

25:35

pants and, you know, red

25:37

jackets. Right, right, right. He was like, where the fuck

25:39

am I? East coast, east coast, yeah. And

25:42

also gave me the platform for

25:44

my life, really. Yeah. And

25:47

especially my coach, Jim Wood, who...

25:51

We were a very successful basketball team in

25:53

a school of 300 boys. Yeah.

25:57

So any high school, any average

25:59

high school... would have kicked

26:01

our ass. Yeah. Because they had a pool

26:03

of 1,500 boys or something. Sure.

26:06

It was kind of naive for me. When

26:10

you say it gave you the platform for your life, what

26:12

do you mean by that? I

26:15

mean, this man really was my father

26:17

away from home father kind of guy.

26:20

He was the one I had so

26:22

much respect for, Coach Wood, that

26:26

if I got into trouble, they wouldn't bother

26:28

to scold me. They would go to gym,

26:30

and Jim would raise an eyebrow, and

26:33

I'd be more demoralized. I was

26:35

just horrified. And I changed my

26:37

ways immediately because I so respected

26:39

him. But the

26:41

whole basketball team, the

26:44

team is the thing, not you. You're

26:48

part of a team, and the

26:50

success will come from a successful team.

26:53

And that kind of when I bumped into theater was,

26:56

oh, same thing.

26:58

The play is the thing. It's not about

27:00

you. Slave to the text.

27:02

Yep. Yeah. And that's a good way to go,

27:04

I believe. The

27:06

improv version of that is no one player

27:09

is more important than the group. And

27:11

that's what I always felt was that because

27:13

you're making it up, so there isn't a

27:15

text. But the notion of that as an

27:17

actor, you're a

27:20

slave to the text, meaning it's

27:22

not about you. It's about the story.

27:24

It's about selling the story, and it's

27:26

about everybody pitching in to do that.

27:28

And I absolutely agree. And

27:30

that's a good one for life. Absolutely.

27:32

Pick a topic, and the team is

27:35

the thing. Yeah. Because I do find

27:38

that usually miserable people

27:40

are not living

27:42

that way. They're chasing

27:44

their own tail in some way,

27:47

whether they have caught it or not.

27:51

Which we all do. Yeah, of

27:53

course. Here's an example of false humility

27:55

that I was talking about. Yeah,

27:58

yeah, sure. We all do. Mary gets so

28:01

mad at me, she'll say, I'm

28:03

making something up. Well that pissed me off. Do you see

28:05

that person? Well, says Ted,

28:08

that person probably has, you know. Oh,

28:10

that shit makes me crazy. Shut the

28:12

fuck up! Let me

28:14

vent! And by the way, she's expressing

28:16

my feelings at the time, but I'm

28:19

way holier than, you know. Yeah. The

28:22

good thing is I delight in how full of

28:24

shit I am. That's my only saving grace. Well

28:27

she obviously does too. She does.

28:30

Now I wonder, and I mean, and it's not

28:32

an unusual, an unusual

28:34

phenomenon because I sort of fall

28:37

into this category, but I would like to just

28:39

hear you verbalize it, which

28:41

is why does a shy person

28:43

go into show business? Why does a shy person

28:46

go, hey, I like

28:48

to sound to that applause, I'm nervous

28:50

around people, but I'll get up in

28:52

a dark room onto an elevated

28:55

platform where all the light is.

28:58

And that's where I want to be. What do you

29:00

think that is? I

29:03

don't know, I don't know healthy, healthy

29:05

explanation, but I think

29:07

who am I? Who am

29:10

I to stand up and hold court? Yeah.

29:13

I have trouble with that. Yeah. People

29:15

around me growing up who did, I

29:18

found usually not 100% my cup of tea. You

29:22

know, my mother was full of false

29:24

humility. My father was large

29:26

and big. For some

29:28

reason I went, eh, I'm going with the mom idea. And

29:33

yeah, so it gives me the,

29:37

I actually, sorry, I'm gonna answer this, but I

29:39

had this, can I kind of. You

29:41

can do whatever you want. I went back to

29:44

my prep school, Kent School for Boys, and

29:47

the middle of, or the beginning of

29:50

the Cheers rock and roll big hit

29:53

time. And I arrived

29:56

and it was big hit Ted. Everyone

29:58

wanted to talk and that. da da da da

30:00

da da. And then that gets old very quickly.

30:02

It's a class reunion. And

30:04

by the second day, everyone was pairing up with

30:07

their friends of many years. And

30:10

I found myself walking alone behind

30:13

people laughing and joking and talking and

30:15

reminiscing and all of that. And then

30:17

I was behind walking by myself. And

30:20

I went, wow, I think

30:23

I almost became a celebrity to

30:26

give me the right to walk in a room.

30:29

Otherwise, I didn't have the right to walk into a

30:31

room and be

30:33

dead. But because I'm a celebrity, people

30:37

will give me license for

30:39

a moment or two. It doesn't

30:41

always last for long, but maybe

30:43

it will. But I think I had

30:45

that kind of lack of

30:48

sense of who I am. And

30:53

have you acquired it as time has

30:55

gone on? Slowly, yeah. Yeah. But

30:58

even, I was at a big party last night,

31:00

our group of people, and I found myself going,

31:04

I need

31:06

permission to stand up and

31:08

talk. And

31:12

basketball gave me permission to be part

31:14

of a group and stand up. Acting

31:18

gives me permission to stand

31:20

up sometimes and

31:22

talk. Well, now you got

31:24

a podcast. I know, it's fun. I

31:26

really, really enjoy it. And because

31:29

the form of it is the

31:31

person you're talking to is more

31:33

interesting than you, and that's

31:35

your job, to make

31:37

it about them. Right. Again, that

31:39

false humility coming out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

31:41

mean, because I'm like, No,

31:44

no, no, no. Oh my God, every time somebody's sitting

31:46

across from me, I'm like, oh Jesus, I wish they'd,

31:48

don't they know they should just let me do

31:50

the talking? Yeah, and if they could just point

31:53

to me when it's my turn, I could doze

31:55

off until I see their finger and I can

31:57

then start talking. Instead, because you really gotta focus

31:59

on their mouths. Yeah, you can't see this, but

32:01

I'm now pointing to you. Okay,

32:03

let's move on. So

32:09

you're at Stanford, you say

32:11

it's the theater life for me,

32:14

and you transfer because there's nothing like

32:16

that at Stanford? Yeah,

32:19

I mean... What

32:22

did you set out to do in Stanford? I

32:24

don't know. What was your major? Oh, you just were

32:26

going to college to see? It was West. Yeah. It

32:29

was a beautiful campus. It is a beautiful place.

32:31

It was co-ed as opposed to... Oh, right, right.

32:34

...the school. Yeah, you've been at a sausage

32:36

party for five years. Yeah. I

32:39

don't think we even knew we had sausages,

32:41

to be honest. It was a church school.

32:43

We had repressed sausages. And

32:48

yeah, I just... I

32:51

kind of described myself, but it's true that

32:53

I kind of... Until I met my wife, Mary,

32:56

I went through life as if I

32:58

were in the back of a pickup,

33:00

sitting in the back, facing backwards, and

33:03

watching life come by me, you know?

33:05

Yeah. And go, oh, that's cool.

33:07

That's cool. I never really turned around and

33:09

looked at life and went, ah, I'm going there. I want

33:11

this. I want that. I kind of

33:13

let life happen. Yeah. And be

33:16

delighted and surprised. I had good angels for

33:18

some reason. Yeah, yeah. It kind of worked

33:20

out. But would you ask me?

33:23

Oh, great. Well, I said you transferred

33:25

to Carnegie. I had no

33:27

idea what I wanted to be. Yeah.

33:30

Nothing. Yeah. I

33:33

was a political science major, comma, meaning

33:36

no idea what I wanted to be. And

33:41

for some reason, I tested really well

33:43

in life because I

33:46

didn't care, because I knew I

33:48

wasn't an academic... You mean just general testing. In

33:50

general. I found it to be

33:52

an interesting puzzle game. Yeah. And not... Because

33:55

I never... That was not my happy place. Yeah. The

33:58

academic. And it could... large and I

34:00

mean it's why they don't focus on it because

34:02

it is kind of a trick. You either

34:05

you know the trick or you don't. Yeah.

34:08

It doesn't mean you have a great

34:10

deal of knowledge, it just means you

34:13

get the tricks and your attitude is

34:15

relaxed. So I got into advanced placement

34:17

English at Stanford and

34:20

I went there and the first day of class

34:22

I went not only do

34:24

I not know what the professor just said, I

34:26

don't know what the girl next to me said

34:28

when she asked them that question I have no

34:31

I have no idea what's going on. Yeah yeah.

34:34

So I left.

34:36

Without doing funny

34:38

story this is the truth. If

34:41

you showed up at Stanford the first this

34:43

was then I'm sure it's not this way

34:45

now. If you got what you

34:47

put in and that's probably still true but

34:49

you'd show up and you'd get on the

34:52

rolls first day of class you'd

34:54

notice that the professor had written a

34:56

book. So obviously. Yeah you

34:58

got to buy the book. You buy the book and

35:00

you read whatever about the you know at least the

35:02

chapter heading so because the test will come from his

35:04

book because he loves his book. Yeah. He

35:07

she and gosh it was

35:09

mostly he's back then and

35:11

yeah then you just did that and then

35:13

but the rest I woke up at 11

35:16

o'clock now I woke

35:18

up about 10 o'clock in the morning. I

35:21

would whatever brush my teeth turn

35:23

on my first television ever grew up

35:25

without a TV black and white

35:28

TV that I found on the street. That

35:30

is hilariously ironic. No pop culture in my

35:32

life. That is so for as

35:34

much television as you've done. Yeah. It's so hilarious

35:36

that you know. Do not keep your kids from

35:39

pop culture because I will zone out in front

35:41

of a cooking show now I'll watch anything. You

35:45

know infomercial. Yeah.

35:49

And I would watch and found the Dick

35:51

Van Dyke show the first thing I turned

35:53

on was a rerun of the Dick Van

35:55

Dyke show. I was smitten. Yeah.

35:58

The Dick Van Dyke and the show just smitten. And

36:01

then that would be over. Then I'd

36:03

turn on some great 60s music on

36:05

my little photograph. And we had

36:07

a tree trunk that we had found, a little stump

36:11

that we'd brought up to our

36:13

room and put a fish net over it. And I would

36:15

get up on the stump and I

36:17

would dance. Kind of go-go boy, dance,

36:20

listening to some music. Come

36:23

12, 1215, I'd get on my

36:25

bicycle, bicycle down towards the quad

36:27

to find out if any of my classes that

36:29

I had enrolled in might still be

36:31

happening. And I might

36:34

drop in. David

36:40

taught himself how to make bread. Good

36:42

bread. He wanted to get

36:45

even better. So he asked Chad GPT on

36:47

Expedia if there's such a thing as a

36:49

bread vacation. Chad GPT

36:51

said, sure. Do you want

36:53

to go to Normandy, Morocco, Ireland,

36:55

or Tuscany? And

36:58

that's how David became a master

37:00

pizzaiolo. You were made to

37:02

learn new things. We were made to give you

37:04

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37:06

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37:08

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37:44

Can't you tell my loves ago? I was

37:46

that guy until I wandered

37:48

into an audition for a play. It

37:50

was just smitten. Yeah. Freshman

37:53

year or sophomore year? Sophomore year, yeah.

37:55

Freshman year was the disappointment of no

37:57

basketball. Yeah. Trying to, you

37:59

know. I

40:01

got to do that in film school because

40:03

I started for two years at University of

40:05

Illinois and got all kinds of

40:07

liberal arts and sciences stuff. And then I

40:09

transferred to Columbia College, which

40:11

was an arts college, but a

40:14

very nuts and

40:16

bolts kind of, like an arts college that

40:18

focused on how do you get a job

40:21

as a filmmaker, as

40:23

a dancer, as a- Right. And

40:25

you were in the hub of creativity.

40:27

Yeah. Yeah. And then I went to Columbia College,

40:29

which is a- Oh, oh, oh. Oh.

40:33

It's a, and it's not- Sorry. And

40:35

no, no, no, it's funny because there's

40:37

Columbia University and then there's Columbia School

40:40

of Broadcasting, which used to advertise on

40:42

matchbooks. Right. And then in

40:44

between is Columbia College Chicago, which now

40:47

is actually a pretty big, legit film

40:50

school, especially film school. They have a campus

40:52

out here now. But

40:54

I got to go there and just watch

40:57

movies and make movies for two

41:00

years. And it was- Did

41:02

you get a little camera to- Yeah, we had a

41:04

bolexes. We had 16 millimeter crank

41:06

cameras. That was what you

41:08

kind of did. Right. And

41:11

then we cut film and we cut

41:13

sound, the actual- Fantastic. ...

41:17

magnetic ribbon of sound and we cut them

41:19

with razors. And even, we

41:22

did videotape and

41:24

it was three quarter inch tapes. And

41:27

it was all, I

41:29

mean, there was no digital editing.

41:31

It was basically you had two

41:33

decks and another

41:35

deck recording. So you

41:37

basically, it was like the way that you

41:39

would make tapes on two VHS things at

41:41

home was just a professional version

41:44

of that. And I mean, and even

41:46

when we started the Conan

41:48

show, there wasn't digital technology.

41:52

Our commercial breaks were as long as the

41:54

commercial breaks that you saw at home because

41:58

they would, it was called- You

54:00

know, it's, and I'm finding a lot

54:02

these days, and again, getting back to

54:04

kind of being famous, because right now,

54:06

I would consider myself

54:08

underemployed. Like I'm not the acting,

54:11

you know, I'm auditioning for

54:13

things, but there's, and you know, we're coming

54:15

up the strike, so there was that weird

54:17

thing. Ooh, crickets. Yeah. But

54:19

since, you know, since the Conan show

54:21

ended, there just hasn't been a lot

54:23

for me. And it is, I

54:25

just did a fundraiser

54:28

in Chicago that was a lovely

54:30

event, but you know, at the

54:32

end, there's sort of like, anything

54:34

you want to plug? And I'm like, my

54:36

podcast. You know, I wish I could say, oh,

54:38

and I got a show, and I got an

54:41

animated thing, you know, but it's just, right now,

54:43

it's just kind of, you know, and

54:45

I'm, that happens. There's

54:48

ebbs and flows and lulls. Unless

54:50

you're Ted Danson, then,

54:52

you know. I didn't, yeah,

54:55

well, I just smiled and said thank

54:57

you, but I hadn't worked for two

54:59

years before starting up last month. Right.

55:02

So it, yeah, it's, it has been a

55:05

strange time. Yeah, yeah. COVID

55:07

strike, and the

55:09

kind of, I think

55:12

the, I don't know about the

55:14

networks, but probably the networks and the streamers

55:16

and all of that are taking stock right

55:18

now. Oh, it's a weird time. Who are

55:20

we, how much, yeah, so it's a strange

55:22

time. Everybody's through all this money and oh,

55:24

we got to, you know, have all

55:26

this content. And then it's like, well, yeah, but how do

55:28

you get the money back out? Maybe

55:31

commercials, you know, it's

55:33

a major readjusting. Joe

55:36

Blo to invest whatever it is,

55:38

you know, 10 different streamers.

55:40

Yeah. To, so you can

55:42

watch the new It Show. Yes, yes. No, people aren't

55:44

going to do that. They aren't going to do it.

55:47

I mean, I do because every one of those is

55:49

a write off, you know. I mean, I can at

55:52

least pay for them with pre-tax dollars, but I

55:54

can totally understand why somebody would be like, you

55:57

know, well, do I either have Hulu or do

55:59

I have? done

1:02:00

anyway. We're like five or ten.

1:02:02

Oh, all right. Oh, Jesus. We'll

1:02:07

put in some Ted Dance and his peeing music.

1:02:14

In this time, what's the Milton Burrell story? The

1:02:18

Milton Burrell story is, I mean,

1:02:21

there's different versions of it. But Forrest

1:02:23

Whitaker, who was on F Troop, or

1:02:25

not Forrest Whitaker, Forrest Tucker.

1:02:29

Have you ever seen F Troop? He's

1:02:31

like a big blonde guy. He apparently

1:02:33

had an enormous

1:02:37

hog. And Milton Burrell

1:02:39

apparently had an enormous hog and

1:02:41

something about them at a urinal

1:02:43

together and pulling it and

1:02:46

then, you know, Milton,

1:02:50

you know, like a competition and Milton says,

1:02:52

you know, I just took out

1:02:55

enough to win, you know, or

1:02:57

somebody says, just only take out enough to win. I'm

1:03:00

filling these youngsters in on the... Oh, we got

1:03:02

to get that. We're

1:03:06

filling him in on the Forrest Tucker Milton

1:03:08

Burrell. I was filling him in on the...

1:03:10

Yeah, yeah. Just enough to win. Yeah, just

1:03:12

enough to win. Exactly. All

1:03:16

right, you're back from peeing. I hope we can

1:03:18

leave that in. Yes. Yeah. Now, one

1:03:20

thing that you talked about, that you made mention of,

1:03:23

and I wanted to come back to it, is that

1:03:25

you said... This is fun, by the way. Oh, good.

1:03:27

I'm glad you like it. Oh, good. You mentioned, you

1:03:32

said that up until you met Mary, that you

1:03:34

kind of live life as if you were looking

1:03:36

backwards out of the back of a pickup truck.

1:03:38

Yep. Expound on

1:03:41

that a little bit more. And also, had

1:03:43

you already started to start facing forward when

1:03:45

you met her? Or was it just

1:03:48

kind of the sheer power

1:03:50

of her personality that sort of

1:03:53

made you start to do that? Yes.

1:03:57

But here's what I did do. I

1:04:00

was a hot mess the year

1:04:02

before I met her. Publicly

1:04:05

hot mess. In the

1:04:07

press. I

1:04:12

remember leaving a production around that

1:04:14

time on location and

1:04:16

saying, Ted, here are

1:04:18

two things I want. I want to stop being a liar

1:04:22

and I want to be creative 90% of the

1:04:24

rest of my life. That's what I want to

1:04:26

do. I want to be just creative. The

1:04:29

liar part took a lot of work. Yeah.

1:04:33

Was this in your personal life? Yeah. Yeah.

1:04:35

Yeah. And I

1:04:40

worked on it and I really dug.

1:04:42

I mean, I went

1:04:44

to clinics. I went to therapy.

1:04:46

I really worked

1:04:49

spiritually, emotionally, every level

1:04:51

I could do to

1:04:53

kind of attack this

1:04:56

and get real and be truthful. And

1:04:59

I'm skimming because whatever.

1:05:01

Was that something

1:05:04

that had already always been a problem

1:05:06

or did you find yourself getting into

1:05:08

a point where you stopped being dishonest?

1:05:10

Like had there always been a streak

1:05:12

of dishonesty to you throughout your life,

1:05:14

you think? I

1:05:17

think without psychoanalyzing

1:05:21

my parents too much. But my father,

1:05:23

I think, kind of taught me how

1:05:26

you deal with

1:05:28

emotions is you go out the back door.

1:05:33

And he was never really present

1:05:37

emotionally, truthfully. It's

1:05:40

hard stuff. His solution was out the back

1:05:43

door. And I

1:05:45

think I learned that without anyone teaching me

1:05:47

that. I just went, oh, I got it.

1:05:50

When things get hard. And

1:05:54

that also becomes, that means that's like

1:05:56

strong and manly somehow, you know, to

1:05:58

ish. and you can't

1:06:00

just shoo any kind of like, you know, acknowledgement

1:06:03

of emotion. Sure, sure, sure. See,

1:06:06

we're back to penis talk right away, aren't we? I

1:06:09

said nothing. I said manly,

1:06:11

not penis. Oh, sorry, sorry. Same thing,

1:06:13

come on. Sorry,

1:06:16

we just lost a whole bunch of

1:06:18

people. That's synonymous with being a swinging

1:06:21

dick. Shooing emotionality. Anyway,

1:06:23

I was an asshole, a messy, hot mess

1:06:25

asshole. And I worked on it to the point where

1:06:28

I was able to go, oh, this

1:06:31

is who you are, buddy. Yeah. Do

1:06:33

you want to stay being this way? No. Do

1:06:36

you, all right, these are the steps you

1:06:38

needed. I really was serious about it. And

1:06:40

I had a wonderful mentor that really

1:06:43

guided me through this. And

1:06:45

it was the beginning, I'm not saying it was like a

1:06:47

light switch that flipped. But

1:06:49

Mary wouldn't have even been

1:06:52

in the same hallway to walk past me. She

1:06:54

would have missed me entirely if I hadn't started

1:06:56

to work on myself. I see. And

1:07:01

yeah, and then- How did you guys meet?

1:07:03

If I may ask. Several times

1:07:05

Hollywood, you know. I auditioned

1:07:07

for Cross Creek. She was the star. We

1:07:10

both remember a little, we both have

1:07:12

a little snapshot of the moment, even though I

1:07:14

didn't get the part. But thank God,

1:07:17

being half-baked, you know, I was not ready

1:07:21

for Mary's theme or- And then,

1:07:24

you know, Henry Winkler birthday

1:07:26

party at his home, barbecue.

1:07:29

And hey, I love your work, I love your work. And introduced

1:07:32

our husbands and wives to each other. And it

1:07:34

was just, you know, actory stuff.

1:07:38

Bill Clinton's inaugural, Mary was very

1:07:40

close to the Clintons, having grown

1:07:42

up in Little Rock and da-da-da,

1:07:45

very close. And met

1:07:47

her at some party. And

1:07:49

I think for me, I

1:07:51

have a clearer snapshot.

1:07:54

Not that anything was going on, but I have

1:07:57

a clear memory of an- her

1:08:00

change, which was nothing, but I just have

1:08:02

a clear memory of it. And

1:08:04

then Cheers was over and

1:08:06

I was

1:08:08

doing a movie for Paramount and she

1:08:10

had been tracking this script

1:08:12

and wanted to be in it. So

1:08:16

we met in San Francisco for a chemistry

1:08:19

dinner or whatever they call it,

1:08:21

will these two people get along? And

1:08:23

I remember just looking at her, first off,

1:08:27

with beautiful women, Mary says this is

1:08:29

full of shit, but it really is

1:08:31

my truth. I'm very embarrassed around

1:08:34

beautiful women and I don't know where to look. But

1:08:36

if I have a reason to look,

1:08:38

which is you're about to go act together, then

1:08:41

I can look. And I was

1:08:43

just blown away when I looked up and

1:08:45

looked at this, you know, thousand

1:08:48

watt light that comes out of her

1:08:50

face. She's just remarkable. I

1:08:54

actually told her my entire hot mess

1:08:56

story at that dinner, which

1:08:59

kind of made her blink a little bit and go,

1:09:01

gosh, I don't know if you should be telling just

1:09:03

everybody this. But

1:09:05

I had no secrets and I had no thoughts

1:09:07

of, you know, I know I

1:09:09

can mess up any relationship ever. It's

1:09:12

me. Yeah. You know?

1:09:15

And so I'm incapable. And

1:09:18

ironically, Mary was having the same

1:09:20

thoughts that she, as she

1:09:22

says, I look like I

1:09:24

should be good at relationships. Clearly

1:09:26

I'm not. She had just broken up with somebody.

1:09:29

So we were both kind of wounded ducks. And

1:09:32

also you're there for work. So

1:09:35

yeah, there's no, the stakes are very

1:09:37

low in terms of like, yeah, I might as well lay it

1:09:40

all on the table because we're going to work

1:09:42

together. I'm not trying to impress you to make

1:09:44

you fall in love with me. I'm just trying

1:09:46

to let you know what

1:09:48

you're looking for for when you, you

1:09:51

know, when we are together 12 hours

1:09:53

a day. Yeah. And then we went

1:09:55

to Mendocino to begin shooting and, well.

1:10:00

You know, we

1:10:02

started slowly in that I noticed,

1:10:05

we both noticed that we would be grumpy

1:10:07

if somebody was sitting next to the other

1:10:10

person at lunch before I could get there.

1:10:12

You know, I was like, oh, well, shit.

1:10:14

All right, shoot. There goes my day. You

1:10:17

know, and- And she felt the same

1:10:19

way? Yeah, she felt the same way. Just,

1:10:21

well, yeah, I'm enjoying laughing together. And

1:10:24

then we took a canoe ride because I thought, okay,

1:10:28

this can't be boy girl because I'm

1:10:31

a mess. So, but you

1:10:33

do things when you do a film that

1:10:35

can contribute to the other person's understanding of

1:10:37

who you are and is the right mood

1:10:39

for the piece. Yeah. You do kind of

1:10:42

avail yourself. This is, I'll

1:10:44

share this part of me so it'll be good

1:10:46

for us in our work together. Yeah, yeah. So

1:10:48

anyway, we were a very old fashioned couple that

1:10:50

we were portraying. And so I

1:10:53

thought, we're going to take a canoe ride. I'll make a

1:10:55

picnic. It'll be very romantic,

1:10:57

not in boy girl romantic, just it'll

1:10:59

be very- picturesque.

1:11:01

picturesque. Yes. Yes. So up the

1:11:03

big river in Mendocino, we went

1:11:05

and it was a beautiful canoe

1:11:07

with one outrigger. And

1:11:10

we had a little

1:11:12

picnic and there were sea otters

1:11:14

and blue hair. It was so

1:11:16

astounding that Mary actually wrote a

1:11:18

poem about that moment for our

1:11:20

wedding vows, you know, two years

1:11:22

later. And we

1:11:25

would not paddle together without saying

1:11:27

anything. We'd be silent for 15

1:11:30

minutes. We'd giggle, laugh, point, you know, it

1:11:32

was just kind of effortless. And

1:11:34

then on the way back down, we had a

1:11:37

little mini picnic and we did have

1:11:39

a rather chaste, but kiss. Got

1:11:43

back in the boat and I

1:11:45

was just- Smitten. Yeah. Yeah. Smitten.

1:11:48

And that turning around and looking at life

1:11:51

or something, I wanted to

1:11:54

be with Mary's theme version. Yeah. I

1:11:57

wanted this. Yeah. I wanted- to

1:12:00

be with her, I wanted her, I wanted

1:12:02

to be around her, I wanted. Yeah. And

1:12:05

I'm, you know, that's the kind of

1:12:07

the first time. Well, if it works

1:12:09

out, it works out. No, no,

1:12:11

I want this. And

1:12:14

I have no right to, I'm a hot mess.

1:12:16

Yeah. But... Well,

1:12:19

I mean, you both were saying, you both

1:12:21

came together as people saying, I'm not good

1:12:23

at this. What do you think? You

1:12:26

just, you just, was it just the sheer willpower

1:12:29

of both of you wanting this that

1:12:31

sort of turned you around or was

1:12:33

it a time, you know, you just

1:12:35

both were old enough and had made

1:12:37

enough mistakes. Mistakes? Yeah,

1:12:39

enough mistakes. Yes. To

1:12:42

all of the above. Yeah. And

1:12:44

then we could make a whole

1:12:46

different conversation around this, but it

1:12:48

sounds very airy-fairy, but it

1:12:51

feels very divine. Yeah. And

1:12:53

it felt divine intervention. It felt like

1:12:55

we somehow had help, you

1:12:58

know, that we were two wounded souls

1:13:00

and we needed a leg up and

1:13:02

we got it and it felt very

1:13:05

angelic. Yeah. And

1:13:07

I mean, there was no reason

1:13:09

why a cigar smoking hot mess,

1:13:13

you know. Yeah. Person

1:13:16

who was in love with his long hair

1:13:18

that were extensions, you know, I was

1:13:20

the silliest human being on the planet.

1:13:23

When she first lay sight on me, chemistry

1:13:25

dinner, I was doing a movie

1:13:28

called, I don't know,

1:13:31

Dad, Something Dad, sorry, with Macaulay

1:13:34

Culkin and I had to have

1:13:36

long hair and so I had these little

1:13:38

beaded extensions. Oh my God. I loved, I

1:13:41

loved that hair. Oh God, I

1:13:43

loved that hair. When I'd

1:13:45

shower and one of the beads would fall

1:13:47

out, I would take it personally. It was

1:13:49

like, no! And

1:13:52

she said she walked behind me in this

1:13:54

restaurant in San Francisco

1:13:56

and I literally was swishing

1:13:58

my hair back and forth. Not

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