0:00

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon

0:02

show. I had a great night at Gotham

0:04

Comedy Club on, uh, I

0:06

did a, the comedy juice show. It was

0:08

great. Jerry Seinfeld was on stage when I

0:10

walked in. It was wild. I

0:13

was very excited. I

0:15

was a little nervous. Um, I,

0:18

he has no idea who I am probably and,

0:20

um, wouldn't care, but,

0:23

and shouldn't. Um,

0:25

but I was nervous that, you

0:28

know, cause he made that film. That

0:30

I discussed

0:33

and I didn't know if he was

0:35

going to get off stage and like beat me up because

0:38

he is, he's a kind of an elegant

0:40

guy. You don't, you don't think he would

0:42

go to, uh, would, it would come to

0:44

fisticuffs with a guy like

0:46

Jerry Seinfeld. He's a billionaire or something

0:49

close to that. But

0:51

what if he just smacked me across

0:53

the face? I wouldn't hit back because

0:56

I respect success. I do. That's

0:59

the thing I really do. I actually do. And

1:02

if he smacked me in the face and like spit on

1:04

me, I would just stand there and be like, I didn't

1:06

mean it. Truly. That's exactly

1:08

what I would have said. If Jerry

1:10

Seinfeld got off stage and I got them

1:12

comedy club and he smacked me across the

1:14

face and spit on me, I

1:16

would have said, I did not mean it. That's

1:19

what I would have said. Cause it's

1:21

Jerry and I respect that. You

1:25

know what I mean? I mean, I would be lying if I

1:27

said I would do anything else. I would say I didn't mean

1:29

it. I

1:32

was hoping, this is what I was hoping happened. I

1:34

was there with my friend who's an insignificant comedian. I

1:36

won't say his name. We were

1:38

there and we were, it was true. He's

1:41

earned nothing. And I

1:43

was there with him and I thought it would have been great

1:45

if Jerry goes after my set, he goes, come on, let's go.

1:48

And then we go, we get

1:50

in his car, we go right to the helipad. He

1:53

puts us on a helicopter. We land

1:55

in the Hamptons. He takes us to his

1:57

kitchen and he, and he,

1:59

he keeps. feeding me Pop-Tarts. And

2:03

it's like, have you ever seen the movie Seven? He's feeding

2:07

me Pop-Tarts the way that the guy ate the spaghetti.

2:09

They fed that guy spaghetti until he died. Seven is

2:11

a film that my father took me to see when

2:13

I was like nine years old, which

2:16

is not appropriate, but it was a

2:18

really great movie. Who doesn't like

2:20

the movie Seven? So now that,

2:22

and I want you to show this picture to

2:24

the audience because that's what I

2:27

wanted Jerry Seinfeld to

2:29

do to me, feed me Pop-Tarts until

2:31

I exploded like the guy

2:33

in Seven. But

2:36

instead of that, after he did a great set,

2:38

he killed, I'm a fan. I'm a big fan

2:40

of Jerry's, is stand up, you know, is killer.

2:42

He's a fucking legend. He gets off the stage

2:44

and he's whisked away. Gone,

2:49

gone. Before

2:51

he can smack me, before

2:53

he can set me straight, he does not even know

2:55

who I am. I guarantee he's never

2:59

heard the criticism, which was lighthearted

3:01

and fun. Let's be

3:03

honest. The criticism

3:05

of the film was lighthearted

3:08

and fun. And no

3:11

one should get angry. Nobody

3:13

with a billy should be

3:15

mad. Um, but

3:18

he didn't even look at, it was interesting. He wouldn't

3:20

even, he didn't even look in my direction. Not that

3:22

he knew not to look, but it almost felt like

3:24

he almost maybe did. But

3:29

great set. I had great set. Everybody was

3:31

a killer show at the

3:34

Gotham Comedy Club. Lots of fun. Um, my

3:38

pool in the Hamptons is not

3:40

done. It is upsetting. And I

3:42

know that this is one of the segments of

3:44

the show that people are not going to find

3:47

relatable. We get this from

3:49

time to time. People get very angry.

3:51

They go, you know, well, no

3:54

one wants to hear about your

3:56

problem because it's not really a problem. You know what I

3:58

mean? I get it, I get it.

4:02

But I'm there the other day and there's

4:04

two guys working on the pool and one

4:06

of them I said, how long is this

4:08

gonna take? And

4:11

this guy said, and he

4:13

had an accent and he

4:15

goes, it will be very quick, maybe two

4:18

weeks. And I go, where are you from?

4:20

Where are you from? And

4:22

he goes, and it was a silence, but

4:25

it wasn't long. And he went, Ukraine.

4:28

And I went, you're from the Ukraine. And I said,

4:30

yeah. And I said, did you just come

4:32

here after the war? And

4:36

there was a silence this time, it was longer. And

4:38

he like, welled up. You could

4:40

see the tears in his eyes. And

4:43

he like, he went yes. And then he nodded.

4:46

And then I felt

4:49

terrible because he's a young guy and

4:52

he's over here and I felt very bad.

4:56

But I said to him after like

4:58

a minute, I said, I'm sorry, you guys are going through

5:00

that and you just kind of nodded

5:02

and you looked down at the floor. And

5:05

then I said, but we have to get this pool

5:07

done genuinely because

5:10

the season has kind of already started. I

5:14

tried to explain to him the season in the

5:16

Hamptons. I said, do you know

5:18

where you are? Like, do you get it? I

5:21

go, the season is kind of starts earlier every

5:24

year and I was

5:26

explaining to him, like, I'm losing out not

5:29

having the pool. And he got it. And

5:32

I felt really

5:35

bad. And then I called Ray and Ray made

5:37

a great point. Why isn't he

5:39

fighting with the Ukraine? He deserted. He

5:41

deserted. He deserted

5:43

the Ukraine and the

5:46

pool is late. So when you

5:48

think about it, you know, if

5:52

they don't get this done on time, I'm going to go

5:54

up to him and go, huh? Why

5:57

aren't you fighting with your people? Why

6:00

did you leave? Why

6:02

did you run away from Russia the

6:04

way you're running away from deadlines? Why

6:07

are you running away from the

6:09

Kremlin the way you ran away from our

6:11

June 1st deadline? I feel

6:13

bad for him. I feel bad

6:16

for him. I do. But, you

6:19

know, what

6:22

am I going to do? What am I supposed to do? Let

6:26

this slide. I have to be

6:30

forceful with him, even though, you know, he's

6:32

not the boss, clearly. He's just the worker.

6:37

But, you know, I get things out of him. You

6:40

know, the boss never shows up to the fucking job. So

6:43

I get things out of the young Ukrainian who's lost

6:45

it all. He's lost it

6:47

all. And it sucks. But he's

6:49

now in the Hamptons. He's building pools.

6:51

That's kind of cool. That's not bad.

6:53

That ain't bad. By the way, what was he going to

6:55

do there? Think about

6:58

it. It's not that great. You're

7:00

in the Hamptons building pools, meeting

7:02

podcasters. Is that not cool?

7:05

So what? So what? Figure

7:08

it out. Move on. But

7:11

he did look very sad for a moment

7:13

there because I believe the war for them

7:15

was very disruptive. I

7:20

do believe that. I do believe it

7:22

was disruptive. I

7:26

have nothing to say about Caitlin Clark. I'm the only

7:28

one who doesn't. I don't care. I don't

7:30

care. I

7:33

mean, she's white. People like

7:35

her. They're watching the WNBA. Maybe. Are they?

7:37

Really? Is it a big? And

7:39

the black girls are mad. And I get

7:41

it. They're mad because she's white and people

7:43

are watching. I get it. What

7:46

do you, you know, hey, I'm

7:50

not watching. I'll never be watching.

7:52

I'll tell you, I don't care how good she is. I

7:55

don't care what she does. I don't care what any

7:57

of them do. I will not

7:59

be watching. the WNBA. You

8:02

know, I barely watched the NBA. People tell me all the

8:04

time, they go, why don't you go to UFC with Dana

8:06

White and say they were Joe Rogan? I go, I don't

8:08

like that. I'm not into that. I don't care. They go,

8:10

but do it anyway. My agent calls me, he

8:12

goes, why don't you go to the Lakers game

8:15

and sit in the front row at the Lakers

8:17

guy? I go, who cares? Why? Well,

8:19

that's what people do when they are trying

8:21

to get famous, but they need to get

8:23

even more famous. I go, I don't

8:25

care to do it. It's it. Well, I don't, I'd

8:27

be embarrassed if I was on the Jumbotron. Everybody's like,

8:29

who's that idiot? Some people know

8:32

who I am. It's what

8:34

are we doing here? Why don't you go do

8:36

it? You have famous friends. You go sit next

8:38

to them with your famous friend at the Laker

8:40

game. Why don't you go

8:42

see the WNBA game? Go see

8:44

Caitlin Clark. Get on the

8:47

Jumbotron. You go go with

8:49

one of the big dikes, you know, with a

8:51

big lesbian. You go and see Caitlin Clark. You're

8:53

the big dikes. They're

8:56

all nuts. These people, they

8:59

go, they go, why don't you do more? You just go to

9:01

UFC. I go, I, you know, I just, you know,

9:03

if I'm

9:06

not genuinely interested in, so I don't

9:08

do it. I don't care if

9:10

it will benefit me. It doesn't matter. It doesn't

9:14

matter who cares. You know,

9:18

all I'll say about this woman is, hey, it

9:21

sucks. It sucks to

9:24

have a white bitch come

9:27

in into the thing and

9:29

turn it into that. So I'm

9:32

sorry about it. And what about that bitch who

9:35

was in Russia? Is she back? Is

9:38

she in it and no one cares about her?

9:42

Does no one care about that woman? Well, I

9:44

don't know what to tell you, but the one who

9:47

went over to Russia and she got caught with the

9:50

weed pen and then we

9:52

traded like the most dangerous person in the world

9:54

so that she could come back and no one

9:56

cares about her. Who'd we

9:58

trade for Caitlin Clark? if she ends up in

10:00

a pen, if Putin puts her

10:02

in a pen, who would we trade for

10:05

her? Apparently every all of Congress, which I

10:07

would like maybe. But no, seriously,

10:09

who would, if the Lord of War got

10:12

traded for this bitch, Brittany Grinder, nobody

10:14

cares about, if Caitlin Clark got dead,

10:17

I mean, it would be, who would

10:20

we trade, the Rock? Someone big.

10:24

Because she's such a big deal, apparently.

10:26

I don't know. I don't

10:28

know. I'm

10:30

happy for other people's success. And I want everyone

10:32

to be that. I want people to get to

10:35

a place where they can be

10:37

happy for the success of others. But

10:41

it'll never be. It's

10:43

not how we are designed to

10:45

be as people in this

10:47

country. When you live

10:49

in this country, you're not

10:51

designed to be happy for the

10:54

success of other people. To

10:56

believe it is a threat to you and your

10:59

family when someone does well. When

11:01

someone else does well, you should immediately view

11:05

them as a threat to your

11:07

livelihood and general happiness. They are a threat

11:10

to your happiness if they are doing well.

11:13

They are a threat to you. That's

11:15

the ethos of America. Somebody's doing

11:17

good. Whoo! You gotta

11:19

take a deep breath when you see someone doing

11:21

well in this country. You gotta go. Oh

11:26

boy. And it's

11:28

unhealthy. You people gotta be happy for other people's success

11:30

at the end, but you can't do it. You

11:33

can't do it. People get very heated

11:35

and very angry. Not

11:39

like me. I

11:41

celebrate all people at

11:44

all times. My friend Jerry makes

11:47

a movie. I watch it and I like it.

11:50

I like it. Because it's fun.

11:53

And it's about tater tots. The

11:56

next film, Netflix presents, Tater

11:59

Tot. The

12:01

story of the, it's just the story of

12:04

the tater tot. Jonathan

12:08

Tucker is an actor. He's in Los

12:10

Angeles. He did a really good thing.

12:12

There is a, he usually

12:14

plays bad guys. I don't know anymore who

12:17

these people are. I don't know who these people are. None

12:21

of this is real by the way anymore.

12:23

So let me, let me, apparently

12:25

this person's an actor. No,

12:28

I mean, this is what we're going to have to do now. Apparently

12:31

this person is an actor and

12:33

I'll take everyone at their word. And

12:36

he's on a show called Kingdom. And

12:38

Kingdom is what again? About what?

12:41

It's a, I think it's a fighter out of

12:43

Venice. Yeah, great. So there's that

12:46

and he's an actor and he lives

12:48

in an area called Hancock Park in

12:50

LA, which is

12:52

an area of old mansions where like, I

12:55

don't know, was it Bing Crosby that lived

12:57

in the Western White House? Was that where

12:59

he lived? Who owned that Western White House?

13:01

I think it was Bing Crosby. Hancock Park

13:03

has some legendary real estate.

13:05

It was the Beverly Hills before

13:07

Beverly Hills was Beverly

13:09

Hills. Hancock Park is the old

13:12

school, really

13:14

high end area. They have the famous country

13:16

club and all

13:19

of the old stars of yesteryear. We're talking

13:21

the 30s, the 40s, silent

13:24

film stars. And then

13:27

obviously the talkies when they went into that.

13:30

Hancock Park is old school. And

13:32

this guy, Jonathan Tucker, who's an actor and I'm

13:34

sure has a great career and I'm not going

13:36

in him at all. I'm just saying, I

13:39

don't know anymore. There's too much to know. There's

13:41

too many actors. There's too many shows. There's

13:43

too much. So I don't know. He's a great

13:46

person, apparently. Around

13:48

6.34 PM in Hancock Park, he

13:53

has an industry executive wife, Tara,

13:55

and their twin children. Tucker

13:57

saw a stranger enter a home near his

13:59

own. Basically, there was

14:02

a home invasion near

14:04

his house. He like ran in. When

14:07

he was talking to the police, Tucker

14:09

spotted a door wide open

14:11

and dashed into the house where the intruder had just

14:13

gotten entry. He first

14:17

encountered a terrified little girl who he carried into

14:19

the street, handing the child

14:21

off to his wife and went back to find her mother and

14:23

an infant who was terrified and frantic with the invaders still in

14:25

the house. The

14:29

LAPD responded quickly because it's Hancock Park and

14:31

they put the guy in handcuffs and got

14:33

him out of there. But

14:38

that's a pretty amazing heroic thing that

14:41

this guy did. But I wouldn't have. I

14:44

wouldn't have done it. I would not

14:46

have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I'll

14:49

tell you this. When

14:53

you're around as long as I am and you've

14:55

seen as much as I've seen, you

14:58

want to listen. Stay

15:01

out of people's business. Stay out of

15:03

their business. This

15:06

guy's running in the house, grabbing people. He thinks it's

15:08

Hollywood. He's running the man. He could

15:11

have gotten everyone killed. He could

15:13

have gotten people killed in that house. Now

15:15

he didn't, but he could have. He

15:18

could have gotten people killed in that home. A

15:21

man had gone in the home and that

15:23

man, we don't know. Maybe he's mentally unwell, I believe. And

15:27

this guy runs in like it's a Hollywood

15:29

soundstage and everything's going to be okay. Not

15:32

me. Not me. Here's

15:35

what I do. If I see I

15:37

know it, don't laugh because I'm right.

15:41

I see some. It's

15:44

true. I see someone running to my neighbor's house. I get

15:46

in my car. I take a drive away. I

15:50

drive away because I'll be blamed for this. Guys

15:54

like him that look like him get away with that. If

15:57

I run into a house and I run into a house.

16:00

run out with a girl, I'm going

16:02

to be shot by the LAPD. They

16:04

will shoot me multiple times. Good looking

16:06

guys like him, Mr Tucker on kingdom,

16:09

they get to run around the world like

16:11

it's their play thing. They get to run

16:13

into houses scooping up infants. I

16:16

do anything like that. I get

16:18

shot in the face. Okay. Is

16:20

this, is this, uh, can we watch a little

16:22

bit of this? Yeah, yeah. Here I'll skip to

16:24

the actual package right here. Walks up to this

16:26

Hancock park home speaks to himself and

16:28

lets himself in through the front door.

16:31

Seconds later, you hear screams from within.

16:33

Go back, go back. Cause by the way,

16:35

that guy didn't even go, go

16:38

back and let's watch what he does. Well

16:42

thing, there you go. Yeah. Give

16:44

us some context. Ring

16:51

video shows as a man walks up to

16:53

this Hancock park home speaks to himself and

16:56

lets himself in through the front door. Seconds

16:58

later you hear screams from within

17:03

called the police drove home. The

17:05

homeowner asked us not to show his face.

17:07

Why? Cause he's black. That's why the kids

17:09

start screaming. Cause he's black. No,

17:11

this is disgusting. It's

17:14

actually disgusting. It's

17:16

actually disgusting. Now a

17:18

black man walked into a house and the family

17:20

screams. This is what this story is to

17:22

me. I

17:24

would have gotten in my car and I would have

17:26

driven to Malibu and I would have

17:29

done nothing. Let's

17:31

finish this please. And

17:34

three young daughters. He rushed back after getting

17:36

a text from a neighbor about the suspicious

17:38

man. He went in, my wife saw him.

17:41

That's when she, she exited the premises and

17:43

I'd run into it. By the way, this neighbor is smart. He doesn't

17:45

want to be identified cause he knows he could go the other way.

17:48

By the way, this neighbor is smart. He's a shadow.

17:50

He doesn't even want to be identified. He goes,

17:53

well, the media could just decide in a minute

17:55

that this, uh, this actor is

17:57

a clan member who's trying to kill someone.

18:00

You don't know how these things are gonna play out, by the way.

18:02

This guy will be Kyle Rittenhouse in an hour. You

18:05

gotta be careful. I don't get involved. I

18:08

don't get involved. I see a

18:10

black guy go into a house in California. I

18:12

go, I hope they invited him because

18:14

he's going in and he's staying. I

18:17

don't get involved. I don't get,

18:19

it's just what it is. It's just what it is. If

18:23

I see a guy with a pride flag and

18:26

a machete going to a house,

18:28

I get in my car and leave. I

18:31

will not call the police. I will not help. It's

18:34

just what it is. The state

18:36

of California, you don't know how it's gonna go.

18:38

You don't know how it'll go. Just

18:40

stay out of it. Just stay out.

18:42

You're not saving anyone. You're not

18:45

saving anyone. To

18:48

grab another kid. Then that's when we

18:50

see another neighbor, actor Jonathan Tucker, take

18:52

charge, storming barefoot into the home. Why is

18:54

he holding the bag with Adams? He

18:57

tells me he would have used for

18:59

protection. Oh, interesting. A side angle view

19:01

shows as the family escapes through the

19:03

back of the house, making sure every

19:05

child is accounted for. We also see

19:07

as Tucker runs out holding. Now, by

19:09

the way, just imagine this. Then

19:12

we see fat racist podcaster

19:14

Tim Dillon make the situation

19:16

worse. By entering the

19:18

house, probably looking for food or drugs,

19:21

Dillon, who looked like he hadn't slept

19:23

in three days, further continued

19:25

to terrify the mother and her

19:27

children. After this poor black

19:29

man who was just looking for a glass

19:31

of water was being harangued

19:33

by Dillon, Dillon decided he was going to

19:36

rape the mother and daughter and led them

19:38

out of the house. Alt-right

19:40

comedian Tim Dillon, I

19:43

mean, this is what I mean. This is what

19:45

would happen. This is the way I would be

19:47

treated. This is why I stay

19:49

out. I stay out

19:51

of it. If a woman is being

19:53

brained in front of me with

19:56

a chalalie, which is like that old wooden thing

19:59

that the Irish use. I would look

20:01

at her and I would mouth the words But

20:05

that's it I will get blamed

20:07

I will be for my whole life I'll be blamed if

20:09

I get involved I'll get involved

20:12

Let's let's see the end of this very

20:14

heroic on his part, but let's see let's see how it ends

20:17

It's Tucker definitely

20:20

Took action. Yeah, he ran in right after

20:22

me show yourself a bunch of chicks

20:24

that's great. It's a fat

20:26

chick that can you imagine? Can

20:33

you imagine you're in your house? Some

20:35

lunatic just wandered in your house and you're

20:37

sitting there and then a fat chick Look

20:40

at this the LAPD fat chick squad

20:43

shows up Look at

20:45

this woman. Can you imagine this

20:47

is gonna save the kids? Can

20:50

you imagine what is going on

20:52

with this? No

20:56

offense, but where are the dudes? Who

20:59

like what is this? Are we making a

21:01

point? She's the first one up to the door

21:04

That woman's the first one up to the door.

21:06

Is this are we making a point? This

21:10

is crazy There's

21:14

respond not knowing if the suspect

21:16

is armed there's a brief standoff

21:18

before they eventually move in The

21:22

police found them hiding in a closet, so he

21:24

didn't do any damage to the to the property

21:26

She doesn't even go in the woman. That's

21:29

hilarious. It's all fake I find incident happened Sunday

21:31

evening around 630 in the 100 block of Citrus

21:33

Avenue The

21:36

suspect was taken into custody without incident like

21:38

this people of LA like this I

21:41

don't I have no sympathy shut it off. I

21:43

have no sympathy for any of them anymore I

21:45

really don't they like it. They elected they vote for

21:47

it. They want it. They like it Their lives are

21:49

boring. They like people kicking in the doors trying to

21:51

kill them whatever it is. They're

21:53

enjoying it They enjoy it. So let them have

21:55

it. It's their culture. It's a culture

21:57

of Los Angeles people like it They like talking about home

22:00

and it makes them feel alive. It

22:02

makes them feel alive, because nothing there anymore

22:04

does. So the only thing that

22:06

makes them feel alive is the excitement of potentially

22:08

getting a knife to your throat. That's

22:11

the way a lot of them come. It's the only way to come. They

22:15

imagine a guy wandering in the house

22:17

and cucking them. And

22:19

they go, well, maybe somebody will wander in here

22:21

and fuck my wife in front of me so

22:23

I can finally come. Perhaps

22:26

somebody will come in this house and fuck my wife,

22:28

because I haven't sold a screen play in a long

22:30

time. So hopefully somebody can fuck

22:32

my wife in front of me. Maybe

22:35

a big smelly homeless guy comes in

22:37

with a rash and he

22:39

fucks my, and she likes it. And

22:42

he is beating that up while I sit

22:44

there in the chair and

22:46

stroke myself, and I can finally

22:48

come more than I've ever came

22:50

before. Even on all my SSRIs, I

22:53

can still come very thin jism.

22:59

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23:06

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23:08

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23:11

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23:13

mom who refs from the bleachers, the dad who

23:15

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23:18

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23:20

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23:22

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Everybody now, by the way, is trying to take technology from

26:41

the children, but apparently

26:43

there's some more evidence that technology

26:45

itself is having adverse

26:47

effects on an Amazonian tribe. They

26:51

were given Starlink Internet. This is Elon

26:53

Musk again, fucking people up. Elon

26:56

Musk has become a god, by the way. What's

26:59

interesting about billionaires is they actually become

27:01

real-life gods. He can give

27:03

you Starlink. He can give

27:05

you the Internet. He

27:08

can give you speech on Twitter

27:10

or X if you want it. We

27:12

are watching billionaires become actual

27:15

gods in front of our eyes. Like

27:18

they have these uncontacted tribes in

27:21

the Amazon, and Elon

27:24

Musk's Starlink has connected an isolated tribe to

27:26

the outside world and divided it

27:28

from within because now a lot of them

27:30

are addicted to porn and

27:33

social media because

27:36

this is inevitably what happens when

27:38

you introduce something

27:40

like this. After only nine months

27:42

with Starlink, the Marubo are already grappling

27:45

with the same challenges and have racked American

27:47

households for years. Yeah, get by the way,

27:49

get them. Get them involved. I'm

27:52

sick of their lives

27:55

that are about necessity. I'm

27:59

sick of their lives. old customs

28:01

in there, fucking get them. I

28:04

want every uncontacted tribe hopelessly

28:06

addicted to online porn. If we got to

28:08

go through it, they got to go through

28:10

it. Reach them.

28:13

Pierce the densest thicket of

28:15

the jungle to deliver these people porn

28:19

and social media. After

28:21

only nine months with Starlink, the Marubo

28:24

are already grappling with the same challenges

28:26

that have racked American households for years.

28:29

Teenagers glued to phones, group chats

28:31

full of gossip, addictive social networks,

28:34

online strangers, violent video

28:36

games, scams, misinformation

28:39

and minors watching pornography.

28:43

And this is, can you show some photos of the

28:45

tribe? Because this is, yeah, this is the real deal.

28:48

This is real deal tribe.

28:51

They're in the

28:53

Amazon and now

28:56

they're on TikTok overnight.

29:01

They're living in a hut and

29:03

the wife's trying to go to sleep and

29:05

a husband is on the phone. Look

29:10

at this guy. This

29:13

is amazing. This

29:15

is an uncontacted Amazon

29:17

tribe that has lived

29:19

forever, probably maybe warring with some other

29:21

tribes. Maybe not. I don't know. I don't want to

29:24

cast aspersions on anybody's maybe

29:27

it's lovely and peaceful, but they're

29:29

living in nature in a harmony.

29:33

They're doing what they got to do. They

29:35

have customs. They, you know, this, and then

29:38

the whole thing is upended in the

29:40

matter of nine months. The

29:42

tribe is out of good because now they

29:44

know there's more. Guess what?

29:47

Now they know there's more and

29:50

that's why they're fucked. You

29:52

can't know in life this idea that

29:54

you should always know how good someone's

29:57

do it. You shouldn't know how good

29:59

someone is. else is doing all the time.

30:01

It's bad. We go back to

30:03

the beginning where we're talking about Caitlin

30:05

Clark. We're talking about whoever in your

30:08

face every minute, how good someone's doing

30:10

and how important that people feel that

30:12

they are. It's bad for the person.

30:14

It's bad for other people. So

30:17

this tribe that was probably pretty fucking happy a

30:19

year ago is sitting around

30:21

and they're watching the real estate shows

30:23

and going, it might be nice to

30:26

have a toilet. It

30:28

might be nice to have a toilet or

30:30

go see Taylor Swift at an arena.

30:34

That might be nice to watch the white

30:36

woman sing the white devil woman. That's

30:38

what they probably call her, but they say we like

30:40

to watch. Why can't we see the white devil woman?

30:44

Can you imagine the wives being like they

30:46

want to see Taylor Swift? They

30:48

now know who she is. She can't be on the internet

30:51

for any length of time and not know who she is.

30:53

So by the way, our culture is

30:56

at the lowest point it's ever been. It is across

30:59

the board. Not all things. There are

31:02

good things. I'm not trying

31:04

to be needlessly negative here, but

31:06

our culture across the board is the most

31:09

banal it

31:11

has ever been for the most part. And

31:14

it is also insane. It's interestingly

31:16

both at the same time.

31:18

It's completely insane and also

31:20

somehow boring. It's

31:23

like boring and then also crazy,

31:27

but it makes the least

31:29

sense it ever has. Nothing really

31:31

makes any sense. We

31:34

are introducing this Amazon

31:36

uncontacted tribe to

31:39

the internet at the worst

31:41

possible time. Literally

31:43

there are people, children

31:46

are identifying as animals on

31:49

the internet. Not all of them, but there are

31:51

people that are claiming that they

31:54

feel more represented by, I don't know,

31:56

birds or something. There are

31:58

people on the internet wearing diapers, there

32:00

are adults wearing diapers and demanding to

32:03

go to spas where they can be

32:05

treated like babies And

32:08

this is when we are introducing

32:10

them to culture at this exact

32:12

moment This exact moment

32:15

is when they're gonna get their first taste

32:17

of American culture. They're watching

32:19

tick-tock They're just seeing crack

32:21

heads and waffle house brawls

32:23

and people in Down syndrome

32:25

doing drag This

32:27

is their first taste of American cult

32:30

They've never they all they've done is

32:32

try to spear fish in the

32:34

river And now they're watching people

32:36

with Down syndrome do drag shows

32:40

And they don't get it It's

32:42

hard for people like me to get and I've

32:44

been around a while I mean, I was kind

32:47

of raised on this not drag

32:49

Down syndrome, you know what I mean the internet I

32:51

was been around I get it These

32:54

people overnight have been thrust into

32:56

a world that is completely Upside

33:00

down insane. They don't know what's hot. Can

33:02

you imagine? Being

33:04

a tribe in the Amazon and

33:06

trying to just navigate

33:09

What the fuck is going on? He

33:13

is but everyone is so connected that sometimes they don't

33:15

even talk to their own family Alfred

33:17

Marubo the leader of the Marubo Association of

33:19

villages has emerged as the tribes most vocal

33:21

critic of the internet The

33:25

Maruba passed down their culture and history

33:27

orally and he worries that knowledge will

33:29

be lost He's most

33:31

unsettled by the pornography. He

33:34

said young men were sharing explicit videos

33:36

and group chats. Yep. Welcome a Stunning

33:39

development for a culture that frowns on kissing

33:41

in public We're worried young people are

33:43

gonna want to try it. He said of the graphic

33:46

sex depicted in videos. I Mean

33:48

these guys now are seeing women get choked

33:50

out could get their head smashed

33:53

through glass tables They're seeing

33:55

bags over women's heads the Maruba

33:58

the Maruba are watching our porn

34:00

at its most violent and

34:03

it's craziest. They're watching

34:05

people shit on each other.

34:07

They're probably, what's that? We had this creepy

34:09

comedian from one guy and he used to

34:11

watch that cake farts website where women would

34:13

just fart in cakes. This is

34:15

what they're what this, they are watching

34:18

all of this now. They

34:22

don't, this is not like fun,

34:24

early 2000s porn, like all the

34:26

pizza man's kitchen. This is like,

34:28

uh, people are, there

34:30

are genres of porn that where women are just

34:32

stepping on bugs with high heels, you

34:36

know? And can you imagine

34:38

leading this tribe and seeing

34:40

like immediately seeing all of

34:45

this and going, how do we, we can,

34:49

we can't handle this. We can't handle

34:52

it. He

34:54

said some leaders have told him they already observed

34:56

more aggressive sexual behavior from young men. Oh yeah.

35:03

Where's the Marubo Andrew Tate? He's

35:05

coming. He's coming.

35:08

There's going to be a guy chewing leaves in

35:10

the forest being like, these bitches gotta

35:13

start making that porridge. These

35:16

bitches are trying to go to school now. Where's

35:18

that paste? They used to make was

35:20

that Yooka paste. Yeah.

35:27

Look at those two right there. Go up those two. They're

35:31

going to be doing like some type of house

35:33

hunters vlog. It's

35:36

very destabilizing to people. The

35:39

idea that immediately they're

35:41

being confronted with all of the

35:43

things they didn't really know existed,

35:45

or they had heard rumors of,

35:47

they had heard rumors from people

35:50

that went to a far away play.

35:52

Look at the star link. The girls holding up the star link.

35:54

I have no idea what's about to hit them. I

35:57

have no idea what's about to hit them. They

36:01

don't need to know. I mean, are

36:03

people better off with

36:06

this? If they've lived

36:08

the way they've lived for so long, are

36:11

they better off? At

36:16

least in America, if

36:18

you watch some of these things, right?

36:24

Maybe you could say to yourself, listen. Maybe

36:27

one day I can

36:30

start at OnlyFans and

36:32

I can shit on a glass table and

36:35

a guy under it can pleasure himself, jerk

36:37

off, and I can make a couple of

36:39

bucks. Maybe I

36:41

can make a couple of bucks shitting on

36:43

glass tables where men under it masturbate. Maybe

36:45

I can make a... If you're an

36:47

American, you could look at that guy. Maybe I can do that. Maybe

36:51

I can get involved. Maybe there's something in it

36:53

for me. Maybe there's some meat on the bone

36:55

for me. But

36:58

if you're one of the Morubo and

37:01

your job is like fisherman

37:06

or hunter for the tribe, do

37:10

you need

37:14

to watch season

37:16

two of buying Beverly Hills? It's

37:20

just... It

37:23

seems like it's unnecessary.

37:26

Young people have gotten lazy because of the internet. They're

37:28

learning the ways of the white people. That's right, baby.

37:31

You're going to learn the ways of the

37:33

whites. Young

37:37

people are like, fuck you. I don't want to make

37:39

the pottery today. I don't want to make it today.

37:41

I don't want to make it today because I just

37:43

sold a picture of my feet. You

37:47

people are backwards. You're making fucking pots.

37:49

Who cares? We'll go buy pots. I'm

37:53

selling pictures of my feet on

37:55

the internet. I've

37:57

got a future. And

37:59

listen. Let me be honest with you. This

38:03

whole indigenous, uncontacted

38:05

tribe porn thing could go

38:08

big. I'm

38:10

dead serious. These people doing porn

38:12

could go big. Big.

38:15

This could be huge. And again,

38:17

I think porn has a lot of negatives. But

38:20

I'm just saying from a business marketing

38:22

standpoint, if these people would

38:24

just start to embrace this, if it's here anyway

38:26

and we can't get rid of it, they,

38:29

this is would be a big, there'd be

38:31

a lot of people

38:34

into this porn. You

38:37

know, there'd be a lot of people, especially as a mixed

38:39

race, you get some whites in there, you get

38:42

the colonizer, the colonized, the whole indigenous

38:44

thing. Everything's a fetish. Put it up

38:46

on FetLife. Put it

38:48

up on FetLife. This could

38:50

be big. Embrace it. They

38:54

need to stop. I

38:57

realize now that it's probably a

38:59

very disruptive and negative thing that

39:02

they're experiencing. But I also

39:04

think if they play their, they're not that great looking,

39:06

but it doesn't matter. It doesn't

39:09

matter. It's really just about, are

39:11

they willing to really put it out there? You

39:15

know, the

39:18

internet has divided opinion in the Marubo tribe because

39:20

some people are holding onto the old ways. But

39:23

the new ways are better, guys. The new

39:25

ways are better. I mean, this is the

39:27

fight, right? This is the whole fight that

39:29

every civilization is going to have. They're just

39:31

having it in one year. That's pretty extreme.

39:35

But you can't fight progress. It

39:40

is going to be, there's such an interesting experiment

39:42

to watch next year. Like

39:45

what's going to happen? The

39:47

leader dies. Someone claims he

39:49

was murdered. They

39:52

start all these Reddit threads about it. They

39:56

become deeply suspect of each other. They

39:58

do like a January sick. But

40:01

they kill the people, you know, because maybe

40:04

they're really about it. I

40:07

don't know. I feel for them. I don't know

40:09

what to say about it. But if it's here and it's staying,

40:12

you got to get with it. There's a lot of stuff.

40:15

There's a, by the way, it's a great

40:17

reality show. Number one, it's huge. It's great.

40:20

The Marubo you're on Netflix. Like, you know what I

40:22

mean? Like we're into it. We're seeing it.

40:26

We're seeing it. Just

40:28

need to send the producer down there. Hi. How

40:31

are you? Hi, my name is Jessica.

40:34

We're so excited to show your uniquely,

40:38

you know, your culture and how special

40:41

you are. And put

40:44

cameras down there. Livestream.

40:48

Can we contact them? They have the internet. Can we

40:50

contact them? Can we get them on this show? Is

40:53

there a way we can get them on this show? You

40:55

would have to find them. Well, they're

40:57

found. They're in an article. If

41:00

you can get them, I'll interview them on my show. If

41:04

you can get one of the, this Marubo tribe, because I

41:06

get it. These

41:08

people, we're letting them into the party at peak

41:10

insanity. Peak insanity.

41:13

We're opening the door and

41:15

they're going, what the fuck's going on? But

41:18

I'm going to, I'm going to tell them about cool stuff. Do

41:21

they know about succession? They

41:24

need, we do good stuff. We

41:27

also do good stuff. So

41:31

you know, I mean, I think

41:33

that like there's, there's probably, there's

41:35

probably something fun that we

41:38

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up to $100 The

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delicious ice cold taste of Dr. Pepper has

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a lasting effect on people. Lindsay from Sacramento

45:13

said... Pro tip, 40 degrees is the

45:16

perfect temperature for an ice cold Dr. Pepper. Why

45:18

is 40 degrees the perfect temperature for Dr.

45:20

Pepper? We brought in Sue from Duluth, Minnesota to

45:22

tell us. Oh yeah, I know a thing or two

45:24

about cold. Oh, that right there is the

45:27

perfect kind of ice cold for Dr. Pepper. I'd

45:29

share that with my friend Nancy. She likes Dr.

45:31

Pepper too, you know. My coldest... Alright, that'll

45:33

be all, Sue. Having a perfect temperature for

45:36

your Dr. Pepper? It's a Pepper thing. Inspired

45:38

by Real Fan Posts. I thought about this

45:40

article the cult of Costco is such an interesting

45:43

Thinking so much about the suburbs as I finish this book

45:45

that I'm gonna release gonna be out in the holidays Stop

45:47

asking me about it. It's gonna be out for the holidays.

45:49

Do you people are aware of that? Holidays

45:52

do you not understand when I respond to

45:54

go to the holidays? What holidays?

45:56

What do you mean? What holidays flag day? Christmas

46:00

Hanukkah. Ramadan.

46:03

Isn't Ramadan in December? Who

46:06

cares? What I'm saying is the holidays.

46:09

Don't look it up. It doesn't

46:11

matter. Winter solstice. How

46:14

one of America's biggest retailers methodically turns

46:16

casual shoppers into fanatics. What Costco has

46:18

done, by the way, what

46:22

Costco has done is quite impressive because

46:26

they've turned Americans into monsters.

46:29

And I

46:31

remember like when everybody from my neighborhood first

46:34

started to get their Costco cards and there,

46:37

you know, we have something called BJ's

46:39

and there's different variations of Costco. But

46:42

I remember that everybody's trying to get their Costco cards and

46:44

then you would go with them. It was

46:47

a big day going to

46:49

Costco. It was like a big day. I remember

46:52

my mother, her friend, I would

46:54

like lend my mother her card or something and

46:56

then we would go to

46:58

Costco and it would be a big day because you can

47:00

get items in bulk.

47:03

You can have everything and you keep it

47:06

in your house and

47:10

it's exciting to have food forever

47:13

and know that you don't have to

47:15

go shopping again. You

47:18

have all of the food and that when you have

47:20

more you consume more, of course. You

47:23

have more, you eat more. You

47:26

have a bucket of something. It disappears rather.

47:28

You don't portion it out. It's

47:31

not rational. They know this. They

47:33

know what Costco that people are not. It's America.

47:36

They go, if we give people

47:38

a bucket, they're gonna eat it and

47:40

they're gonna come in and get another bucket. And make

47:43

no mistake, you get buckets. If

47:45

you showed Costco to somebody in Europe, they would

47:48

they would vomit. We

47:50

buy industrial

47:52

size, industrial

47:56

size buckets of like cleaning solution,

47:58

but it's ketchup. Or it's mayonnaise

48:01

or it's barbecue sauce. The

48:03

size of some of the Costco products shows

48:05

some of the bigger, some of the biggest

48:07

Costco products. It's truly grotesque. And when I

48:09

was in Europe with Sam Talent, we were

48:12

over there performing and none

48:15

of this exists. None of these exist

48:20

in Europe. You cannot go to

48:22

a store and get three

48:25

months worth of chocolate covered

48:28

pretzels. You're not you're

48:30

not permitted. I

48:35

think we got to stop allowing certain things

48:37

and this is kind of one of the

48:39

things unfortunately that I think we're gonna have

48:41

to stop allowing. I think this is probably

48:43

and this is where

48:46

my libertarian streak you know,

48:49

it hits a little bit of the

48:51

wall because I do think

48:53

that in the food space like

48:58

for example, I think we're gonna look back on

49:00

this. You remember subprime mortgages? I do. And

49:04

they were all adjustable rate mortgages. You would take a mortgage

49:06

and then a few years later the rate that you had

49:08

would quadruple. It

49:10

would double, triple, quadruple and then you could no longer

49:13

pay the mortgage. We all look back on that. And

49:17

we go why the fuck would

49:19

we give someone a mortgage that was cheap

49:23

for two years and then wildly

49:27

more expensive just

49:29

24 months later. These people's lives

49:32

aren't changing. It's not like

49:34

in 24 months. They've all made lots more money.

49:37

Why would we do that? And

49:39

the reason that we did it was greed

49:42

and look at that Costco selling massive bag of

49:44

popcorn. Look at this. This

49:47

is not okay. I

49:50

think we're gonna look back on this and and

49:55

say this is not okay that

49:58

we let the companies not

50:00

only poison the food, I mean look at

50:02

that, look at that. Go to that cart

50:04

that that woman has a child sitting on

50:07

that. Now yes there's a lot

50:09

of water here and to tide and detergent and

50:11

like it's the you know there's

50:13

a lot of water and stuff but

50:17

there's also gonna be a lot of food on there. That's

50:19

she's just warming up. People

50:22

have like these, this

50:25

is all industrial if you go to Costco's like a big

50:27

factory, it's a warehouse and you're

50:29

pushing large cans of

50:32

poison in a cart and

50:37

then you you have to load up your car

50:40

and then you go feed your family. I don't

50:42

think the and it you know it marries a

50:44

lot of the trends in America like a lot

50:46

of people are preppers, a

50:48

lot of people are preparing and maybe

50:50

they're not even stupid who knows. They're

50:52

preppers, they're preparing for a time when

50:54

they they cannot get food. This was

50:56

big during the pandemic, people started to really panic

50:58

and then people would stock up even me. I

51:01

said I don't stock up on anything, I eat out a lot of

51:03

you know. I usually

51:06

don't freak

51:08

out, I don't think that like you know we're

51:10

not gonna be able to get like you know

51:12

craft mac and cheese but people were like stocking

51:16

up during the pandemic

51:18

on everything and that's

51:20

always kind of been a theme of America

51:23

is that people use

51:25

the perhaps legitimate

51:27

fear of some

51:29

cataclysm as a reason

51:31

to have so much food and hoard

51:34

and hoard food in

51:36

their homes and have closets full

51:39

of food, pantries full

51:41

of food, eight, ten,

51:43

twelve, fifteen things of bread crumbs,

51:46

twenty bread crumbs things. You

51:49

could fill a kiddie pool with bread crumbs

51:52

and just fucking you

51:54

know coat chicken cutlets in it for

51:57

hours and hour and It's

52:00

just, I think we're going to look back on it. I think we're

52:02

going to go, this was a major mistake.

52:04

I think we'll look back on this. And

52:07

I think we're going to go, this

52:09

is disgusting. And this

52:11

is a major turning point. Going

52:14

to a warehouse to

52:16

feed your family was

52:18

a turning point in our culture. And it was not a

52:21

good one. Walking into

52:23

an industrial warehouse

52:27

and buying tubs

52:29

of things, barrels

52:31

of things, rolling

52:34

things onto a cart, putting

52:38

so much stuff on a cart you can

52:40

barely see your child. It's

52:45

not good. This was not a good turning

52:47

point. Creating a fun environment

52:49

in that warehouse where they had like

52:51

food, you eat, you eat, and you

52:54

shop. The Costco

52:56

had that little thing you would buy food

52:58

at that people really liked. The

53:00

chicken baked. There was a few things in there

53:02

that were fun. They had frozen yogurt. And

53:05

you would eat there. It was a whole day. Getting

53:09

food was a whole day. And

53:13

you would need to eat literally

53:15

Kirkland. Yeah, Kirkland,

53:17

signature brand, everything. You would

53:20

need to eat to

53:22

have the energy to then

53:24

shop for two hours because

53:27

the trip to Costco would be two or three hours. And

53:30

they would tell you that. Your mother would tell you that. You

53:32

go, don't whine. This is

53:35

going to be three hours. And

53:38

it would be three hours of

53:41

going around Costco, which was always air conditioned,

53:43

to a point where it was frozen because

53:46

they like to keep the fatty boom. Batty

53:48

is comfortable. It's comfortable to

53:50

be. It's a nice cool. You never want to leave.

53:53

If you're in a nice cold environment

53:57

and you're a fatty boom, Batty, you're.

54:00

You don't want to leave. It's comfortable. The

54:02

minute you start sweating, you're out. So

54:06

they kept it like sub-zero. It

54:08

felt like you were walking around

54:10

the freezer and you got everything. And I

54:12

just think we

54:14

got a turn on this. This

54:17

has got to be, this is not

54:19

good. Someone

54:22

has to articulate probably

54:24

better than me why

54:26

it should be shameful and embarrassing to be

54:29

a member of this. It

54:31

should be shameful, embarrassing to be a member

54:34

of this. This

54:36

is not how you should shop. This

54:38

is not how you should feed your family. I'm

54:42

sorry. Everyone now on Instagram, they make

54:44

these videos. All these

54:46

like blue collar working class people are

54:48

making food videos now with

54:51

all this poison food because they're like,

54:53

why should the rich people have all

54:55

the fun making food? I'm

54:57

going to show you how to make

55:00

buffalo chicken pudding. There's

55:03

a woman on there and I'm not going to bring her up. I

55:06

do like her, but she's like, she

55:08

does these tutorials where she's like,

55:10

today I'm making pizza cake. So

55:12

what? It's

55:15

cake and pizza and my kids like it. She

55:18

doesn't ever feed the kids vegetables. She

55:21

makes the worst food for the kids

55:24

over and over again. There's this

55:26

other woman and I don't know

55:28

what people get out of watching her. She does

55:31

like, she's like, watch a working class woman make

55:33

her husband's lunch and she

55:35

makes him like, like

55:38

just adult, like lunchables

55:41

with like all processed food and

55:44

it's the most disgusting thing you've

55:46

ever watched. Listen,

55:49

I'm, I'm

55:51

saying I think

55:54

with the Ozempic stuff. Maybe this is a turning

55:56

point. Maybe we are about to turn on this.

55:59

They certainly feel like. all of these drugs

56:01

are starting to be very effective. People

56:03

are starting to eat a lot less. A

56:05

lot of these companies are flipping out. They

56:08

don't know what to do. All of

56:10

the people

56:13

that make Ozempic and Wagovina, they're

56:15

now, I think, the biggest market

56:19

cap of any European

56:21

company. I forget the name

56:23

of the company that makes Ozempic, but

56:27

Novo, something else.

56:31

It's made by... Novo

56:33

Nordisk. Yes, Novo Nordisk.

56:37

A brand of... Yeah. Is

56:40

the maker of Wagovina. It's

56:43

Europe's most valuable company, worth more than 500 billion

56:45

euros. This

56:47

is the beginning of a big turning point.

56:49

And what I believe, if this

56:51

is all correct, this is

56:54

the beginning. We're going to start

56:56

turning on these food

56:58

warehouses, fast

57:00

food. I think

57:03

this could reshape America. It could totally change. I'll

57:05

be dead. Everyone I know will be dead. Maybe

57:08

not. Maybe

57:12

not. But I'll tell you this.

57:14

I think this could be such

57:16

a major disruptive... Just like the

57:18

porn through that tribe in the Amazon, you

57:21

might see a time... Because nobody

57:24

takes Ozempic and goes, let's go to

57:26

Costco. There's

57:28

no way. If Ozempic does

57:30

anything, you should not

57:33

be able to walk through a Costco. And I haven't

57:35

done it yet. I'm waiting to see if these celebrities

57:37

croak. As Tavra said

57:39

to me in the green room of... He goes, let's wait

57:41

and see if Mandy Kaling drops. Mandy

57:44

Kaling. But here's

57:47

what Ozempic should do if it does anything. If

57:50

you walk into a Costco, you

57:52

should have the reaction of that girl from

57:54

the Exorcist. Your head

57:56

should spin off your shoulders. You should

57:58

start projectile vomiting. If Ozempic

58:00

does anything, when you walk into Costco,

58:02

you should just start, it should

58:05

be like the exorcist because you

58:07

should be disgusted by this. Food

58:10

that could fall and kill you, there's so

58:12

much of it. It could fall off

58:15

the fucking shelf and kill you. That

58:19

should make you heave on

58:21

Ozempic. You should be disgusted. Wagovii,

58:25

Munjaro, whatever. You

58:28

should walk through Costco and I

58:30

mean, it's like me, 14 years

58:32

sober, going through San Fran, watching

58:34

people lay on

58:36

the street with needles out of their

58:38

arms. That is what Ozempic

58:40

should make you feel like in Costco. And

58:44

the article is the cult of Costco, right? And it is a

58:46

cult. Yeah,

58:49

the cult of Costco, it is. Go

58:53

down here for a minute, let's see. Sensory

58:56

overload starts the second you

58:58

enter the airplane hangar size

59:00

store. The place is packed

59:02

with people and do I smell hot dog water?

59:05

Yes, you do. The shopping

59:07

floor is a bewildering jumble of merchandise, much

59:09

of it stacked high above your head, still

59:11

in cardboard boxes. There are virtually no signs

59:14

to tell you what's where. You

59:16

eventually realize that the stuff you came to buy is of

59:18

course all the way in the back. I

59:20

hope these become museums. I

59:24

really do. I hope we

59:26

look back at this and these become museums.

59:28

We do move on from stuff. There used

59:30

to be bars everywhere littered. This country was

59:32

littered with bars where people would sit and

59:34

smoke cigarettes. They were on every corner and

59:36

now they're not there as much. They're almost

59:38

gone. They're almost

59:40

gone because Americans simply just decided that

59:43

they didn't wanna live like that. And

59:46

I'm not saying that that was the right decision

59:48

either, considering what they're doing now, but you

59:51

can look at these

59:53

stores and

59:55

eventually see a time in the not so

59:58

distant future when they don't exist. when

1:00:00

they don't exist, when people are like, you know

1:00:02

what, I'm not gonna buy, I'm

1:00:04

not getting an app.

1:00:07

My mother once got an appetizer

1:00:10

box. The count was 300 hors

1:00:12

d'oeuvres in

1:00:15

the box at Costco. There was 80

1:00:18

potato puffs. They told you what they had. It

1:00:21

was like 80 potato puffs, 80 fucking,

1:00:25

you know, whatever, whatever these things are,

1:00:27

80 pigs in a blanket. For

1:00:30

New Year's, we didn't throw

1:00:32

any party. You know, it's too

1:00:36

much. It's

1:00:41

disgusting. It's disgusting.

1:00:44

And I think that maybe

1:00:46

these oesempic drugs change and

1:00:49

everyone's like, well, isn't that the easy way

1:00:51

out? America's the easy way out, dummy. We've

1:00:54

always been the easy way out. What are you nuts?

1:00:56

No one in this country is looking for anything other

1:00:58

than the easy way out. Everyone

1:01:00

has been looking for a get rich quick scheme

1:01:04

or some fucking thing they can figure out and

1:01:06

make a lot of money. Nobody

1:01:08

in this country is looking for

1:01:10

the how good it feels

1:01:12

to do a days of work. I

1:01:15

just feel good doing the Lord's work. No

1:01:17

one in this country, maybe somewhere else, but

1:01:19

not in this country. This is the easy

1:01:22

way out. That's what we do. Russia fights

1:01:24

World War II and wins. We take credit.

1:01:26

Easy way out. What we

1:01:30

do. Yes, I know your grandpa died on D.

1:01:32

They fuck off. They lost more. I'm

1:01:34

not even saying

1:01:37

that, you know, the sacrifices of us, but

1:01:39

it's not even comparable. I

1:01:42

mean, it's the easy way out. It's what we do. We're good

1:01:44

at it. We're good at the easy way out. Taking

1:01:46

the easy way out and making it

1:01:48

look hard is actually more difficult than

1:01:50

doing the hard work. No

1:01:54

one respects anyone who works in this country. Look at

1:01:56

them like they're scum, as

1:01:58

you should. someone who's

1:02:00

working, you immediately feel bad for. Our

1:02:03

parents, and I said to some Tucker, they used to

1:02:05

point to people in the street and who were working

1:02:07

and go, look at that's what you're gonna be. If

1:02:10

you don't figure it out, that's what you're gonna

1:02:13

be. You're gonna be

1:02:15

in the street working all day. Like

1:02:17

that in shape guy you see working,

1:02:20

you're gonna be like him. If

1:02:22

you don't figure it out, you can sit at a desk

1:02:24

all day. It's

1:02:27

just funny, I'm like, listen, think whatever you want about

1:02:29

these drugs and maybe they kill everybody in a year

1:02:31

or two. I don't fucking know. But

1:02:33

this whole idea that it's

1:02:36

hilarious and it's like people are like, well,

1:02:38

that's taking the easy way out. It's like,

1:02:40

that's everything we do. Everything

1:02:42

we do is the easy way out, buddy.

1:02:45

It's everything we do. That's

1:02:47

the easy way out that o'sepic.

1:02:51

Hey man, that's what we're

1:02:53

into. That's what

1:02:55

we're into, the easy way out. It's

1:02:58

the easy way out. It's

1:03:00

why we have a fifth grade reading

1:03:02

level in America. Most

1:03:05

Americans read at the fifth

1:03:07

grade level, okay? Because

1:03:09

the seventh grade books are too hard. The

1:03:12

fifth grade, you know why? Because it's the easy way out.

1:03:15

TV. And

1:03:19

then the internet's even easier than that. It's

1:03:21

on your phone in your bucket. Now

1:03:24

what do we use that to do? Get smarter.

1:03:28

So cut it out, cut it out. I mean, listen, you

1:03:30

might not like these drugs and they're fine, but

1:03:32

let's not pretend that

1:03:34

like there's some fetish in this country for hard

1:03:37

work. Let's cut it

1:03:39

out. What are my 10? What

1:03:41

am I, a child? You don't think I've been here? Everybody

1:03:44

in this country is looking for their

1:03:46

mother to die so they

1:03:48

inherit a house. They're looking to slip

1:03:51

and fall in a Wendy's to make money.

1:03:54

People in this country, I

1:03:56

had a friend who injured himself in a

1:03:58

Home Depot parking lot pushing. cart and

1:04:01

he sat on his ass for two years and then they gave him

1:04:03

$50,000. Scott,

1:04:05

nice guy. And we

1:04:07

all said to him, you know, you could have

1:04:09

made more money if you just worked to those

1:04:11

two years, but he couldn't work. He had to

1:04:14

prove that he had a debilitating back injury. So

1:04:16

they eventually gave him 50,000. Go, you

1:04:18

could have made more than 50,000. How'd

1:04:20

you just had a job? And you

1:04:22

know what he said? It was

1:04:24

the most American thing he ever said. He goes, and what, so

1:04:26

what would the point of that have been? What

1:04:30

would have been the point of that? And, and

1:04:32

he was right. Cause he sat on his ass

1:04:34

for two years and then he finally got a nameless,

1:04:37

faceless corporation to kick him $50,000 because

1:04:39

he was retarded. And

1:04:43

that's the American dream. That's the American dream.

1:04:46

The American dream is that it's not

1:04:48

to work hard every day, all day,

1:04:50

and get nothing

1:04:52

or a very little bit. It's

1:04:55

to hack the sit. All these kids

1:04:58

go to Stanford. They put a hoodie

1:05:00

on and then Peter Thiel gives them

1:05:02

$9 million because they say they want to build

1:05:04

a spaceship. That's what it's about.

1:05:08

It's about being full of shit and

1:05:12

get lucky. That's what

1:05:14

the country is about. And there's nothing wrong with it

1:05:16

either. There's nothing

1:05:18

wrong with it because that's inevitably

1:05:20

where civilization lands. It

1:05:23

starts with hard work and

1:05:25

then people figure out that that's gay. It's

1:05:29

pretty dumb to

1:05:31

toil in the field. And then people

1:05:33

start realizing, actually we

1:05:35

found a better way to do it.

1:05:37

This is where civilizations all go. They

1:05:39

all go to where no one's really

1:05:41

working. No

1:05:44

one's doing much of

1:05:46

anything. And that's

1:05:48

where we're at. And yes,

1:05:51

we're going to have to take drugs to make us

1:05:53

not eat ice cream Sundays because

1:05:55

we're at a point now

1:05:58

where everything's gotten. So

1:06:00

easy, even the things

1:06:03

that shouldn't be are easy. Even

1:06:06

if you have a hard life, it's easy to

1:06:08

be a fatty, bad, eh? It's

1:06:13

easy to get cheap shit food.

1:06:16

It's easy to get porn. It's

1:06:19

easy, and that, so all

1:06:21

civilizations eventually get

1:06:23

to a point where people get lazy

1:06:28

and they look for what

1:06:30

we're looking for, which is an easy

1:06:33

way out or up. That's

1:06:37

why there's so much this emphasis on

1:06:39

networking. Everybody's like, it's who you know,

1:06:41

not what, it's network. That's a full-on

1:06:43

admission that everybody's trying to get juiced

1:06:46

into something. Everybody's trying

1:06:48

to get let in to something they don't have

1:06:50

the quality, they don't have the qualifications to do.

1:06:52

That's why they're all obsessed with network. It's not

1:06:54

who you know, it's what you know. It's not,

1:06:57

I'm sorry, it's not what you know, it's who

1:06:59

you know. Network, bro, you

1:07:01

gotta network. Build

1:07:03

your network. And here's

1:07:05

what they're trying to say. If you're

1:07:08

full of shit on your own, that's tough. You're

1:07:11

full of shit and everyone you know is full of

1:07:13

shit? Now we're talking.

1:07:16

That's hard to beat, that's what networking

1:07:18

is for these people. That's what

1:07:20

it means. They don't

1:07:22

ever say it in like a rash in a

1:07:24

real way where they're like, build a client base

1:07:26

by networking and offering people, no, no, no, no,

1:07:29

no. They go, if you're a delusional psychopath, you

1:07:32

need to be around other delusional

1:07:34

psychopaths because eventually there'll be so

1:07:36

many of you, you just create

1:07:38

a thing. It's

1:07:41

just there, people go, well, they're all there.

1:07:44

It's just what happens. So

1:07:47

that to me, I never, I never, now

1:07:50

I don't know anything about this drug and

1:07:52

I know people that are on it, a lot of people that are

1:07:54

on it, some people love it, some people say it's stalled

1:07:57

for them and they are, they've

1:07:59

hit a ceiling. with it and they can't go

1:08:01

on. But the thing that

1:08:03

I find the most hilarious

1:08:05

are the people that go, well, it's an

1:08:08

easy way out. It's

1:08:11

an easy way out. And you go, yeah,

1:08:13

exactly. But yeah, that's

1:08:16

why it's worth $500 billion. That's

1:08:22

why it made all that money. That's

1:08:26

why it made all that money. Telling

1:08:29

people to do something that's

1:08:31

difficult and hard is not

1:08:33

going to make that much

1:08:35

money. Telling, giving people something

1:08:38

and going, hey, the

1:08:40

reason that Costco has

1:08:43

a cult of followers is

1:08:45

because they go in there and it's easy to

1:08:49

be an animal. It's

1:08:52

easy to walk through a warehouse

1:08:54

and get bags of

1:08:57

goldfish that look like sandbags you're

1:08:59

using to stop a flood. Except

1:09:02

you're putting it in the backseat of

1:09:04

your Kia spectra and driving them to

1:09:06

your house so your children can eat

1:09:08

them and die. But

1:09:15

that's easy. Nobody's

1:09:17

going to Costco for veggies. You're going

1:09:19

to get a highly processed food and

1:09:22

a lot of it so that you can

1:09:24

shovel it down your family's throat. So

1:09:27

we're all looking for easy way out. This might just be a better easy

1:09:29

way out. I

1:09:31

don't know. I can't wait till the Amazon tribes

1:09:33

get it introduced as empic. I

1:09:36

can't wait till these fucking the Marubo are on

1:09:39

osempic and they learn

1:09:41

about plastic surgery and

1:09:43

they learn about all of these things. It's

1:09:45

going to be great. Two

1:09:48

years from now, the Marubo women are

1:09:50

going to all have facelifts and new

1:09:52

tits and new asses and

1:09:54

new heads and the men are

1:09:56

all going to be on Viagra and

1:09:59

all of these other. and

1:10:01

everybody in that tribe is going to be

1:10:03

on a Zempek, the people that

1:10:05

have gotten a little chubby because they'll start eating our

1:10:07

food eventually. There's got to

1:10:09

be one Postmate. There's got to be one Door Dasher

1:10:11

there. One

1:10:13

guy who shows up. One

1:10:17

guy. Wait till there's a

1:10:19

raising canes. I want to put a raising canes there.

1:10:22

I want to put a raising canes in the Amazon, fatten them up. Fatten

1:10:27

them all up. That's what I would do. If

1:10:30

I was a billionaire like Elon gives them all Starlink, I'd

1:10:32

go over there with raising canes and

1:10:34

I'd introduce chicken fingers to the Amazon. They

1:10:36

all got fat. Just

1:10:38

big tribes of fatties eating

1:10:41

chicken. They go, what did Tim Dillon do with

1:10:43

his billions? They go,

1:10:45

he introduced chicken fingers to

1:10:48

uncontacted Amazonian tribes and

1:10:51

they all got fat and

1:10:53

then they wanted to take a Zempek and

1:10:55

he invested in a Zempek too. He was sick.

1:10:59

It's like the Rothschilds, how they funded supposedly both sides

1:11:01

of the wars. I

1:11:03

would fund raising canes and I bet there's some

1:11:05

sickos that are doing that. There's

1:11:08

definitely people in our society that are like, get

1:11:10

me in on, let me invest in Nestle and

1:11:13

no vote Nordic because they

1:11:15

go, the fatter they get, the more they'll need the

1:11:17

needle. You got to

1:11:19

cover your bases in America. You got

1:11:22

to cover your bases. You have

1:11:24

to make sure that no matter which way

1:11:26

it goes, you're on top of it.

1:11:29

You've got a little money. That's really what it

1:11:31

comes down to. That's why I would

1:11:33

not have saved those

1:11:35

children in LA because I

1:11:37

didn't, I don't know. I

1:11:40

still don't know. You don't know how it's going to

1:11:42

go and in America you always have

1:11:44

to cover your bases. You have to make sure that

1:11:46

if it goes left, you're okay. If

1:11:48

it goes right, you're

1:11:51

okay. So I just

1:11:53

would have quietly got in my car and

1:11:55

this is my advice to anyone. Anyone

1:11:59

that sees... someone being attacked, get

1:12:03

in your car and drive away. And

1:12:09

I know you guys doesn't feel heroic.

1:12:13

It all depends on the song, really.

1:12:18

All depends on the song. The

1:12:21

only time I wanna

1:12:23

see you intervene in something like that is

1:12:26

if you see me getting hit by Jerry Seinfeld. Welcome

1:12:29

to Iowa, the best place to start

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is Iowa. Learn

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story is written, directed, and produced

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by you. Learn

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more at uiowa.edu. The

1:13:25

delicious ice cold taste of Dr. Pepper has

1:13:27

a lasting effect on people. Lindsay from Sacramento

1:13:29

said, Pro tip, 40 degrees is the perfect

1:13:31

temperature for an ice cold Dr. Pepper. Why

1:13:33

is 40 degrees the perfect temperature for Dr.

1:13:35

Pepper? We brought in Sue from Duluth, Minnesota

1:13:37

to tell us. Oh yeah, I know a

1:13:39

thing or two about cold. Oh, that

1:13:42

right there is the perfect kind of ice cold for

1:13:44

Dr. Pepper. I'd share that

1:13:46

with my friend Nancy. She likes Dr. Pepper too,

1:13:48

you know. My cold is- All right, that'll be

1:13:50

all, Sue. Having a perfect temperature for your Dr.

1:13:52

Pepper, it's a pepper thing. Inspired by real fan

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posts. From

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