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Avoid the Post-Nut Catastrophe in Cuckolding - With Dr. Joe Kort

Avoid the Post-Nut Catastrophe in Cuckolding - With Dr. Joe Kort

Released Saturday, 8th June 2024
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Avoid the Post-Nut Catastrophe in Cuckolding - With Dr. Joe Kort

Avoid the Post-Nut Catastrophe in Cuckolding - With Dr. Joe Kort

Avoid the Post-Nut Catastrophe in Cuckolding - With Dr. Joe Kort

Avoid the Post-Nut Catastrophe in Cuckolding - With Dr. Joe Kort

Saturday, 8th June 2024
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Here's what's coming up on the show .

0:03

So that's why I think sometimes this is such a hot fantasy

0:05

, because it's like maybe not conscious

0:08

, but like this is an opportunity for me to

0:10

feel and be vulnerable , and it's eroticized

0:13

. And so then they step into that

0:15

because it's you're horny , you know you're

0:17

, it's all hot and everything , but when it's over

0:19

now you're really vulnerable

0:22

.

0:22

It's real , it's not just eroticized

0:24

, I

0:29

mean that

0:32

was real too , but that was anesthetized right by erotic feelings

0:34

. This

0:43

is the Venus

0:47

Cuckoldris podcast , a place to

0:49

learn all things cuckolding for the

0:51

curious for the passionate and

0:53

for the sexually empowered woman

0:57

who wants it all .

0:58

Let's go .

0:59

Hello everybody , welcome to the show . I'm your

1:01

host , venus . Thank you so much for joining me . Today

1:08

is a conversation with Dr Jo Cort , and we are going to be talking about something that

1:10

I think every cuck , every aspiring cuck , every couple or aspiring

1:13

cuck couple has thought about or gone

1:15

through and it has affected them in some

1:17

way . So we

1:19

are talking about okay , we've

1:21

all heard about post-nut regret , post-nut

1:24

clarity , whatever you want to call it . We're

1:26

going to talk about that when it comes to cuckolding and

1:29

how to avoid a potential

1:32

catastrophe when it comes to

1:34

when the shit gets real , when

1:37

you actually go through with a cuckolding

1:39

scenario with your partner and maybe

1:42

it doesn't go as you thought it

1:44

would go . So obviously

1:46

, this is a very important show today

1:49

. Now , before we get

1:51

started , I just have a couple of announcements

1:53

, some events that are coming up that you might

1:55

want to check out . They are both free events

1:57

. One is

2:00

a live chat event in the Queens Quarters

2:02

community , which is at venuscuckledresscom

2:05

, and that's going to be on

2:07

Monday , june 17th , at 1

2:09

pm Pacific time . That

2:11

is going to be a chat about interracial

2:13

cuckolding . If you want to join in on

2:15

that and have a listen or join in the

2:18

chat . You can certainly do so . Just

2:20

go to venuscuckledresscom

2:22

. Click on the events page

2:24

to register . Then

2:26

, on the day after so

2:29

, june 18th , at noon Pacific

2:31

time , I have special guest Confident

2:33

Cuck joining me for a Pillow

2:36

Talk live event on Crowdcast

2:38

. Again , you can register on

2:40

venuscuckoldresscom . Click on

2:42

the events page . Today's

2:45

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4:03

let's jump into today's show

4:05

with Dr Joe Court . Here we go , all

4:10

right , joining me on the show . I

4:12

have Dr Joe Court

4:14

and , okay , you sent me this

4:16

profile and I'm like holy shit

4:18

, there's a lot of letters there and

4:21

a lot of this sounds very fancy , so

4:23

I'm going to try and get through it . Dr

4:25

Joe Court , phd , lmsw

4:29

, is the clinical director and

4:31

founder of the Center for Relationship

4:33

and Sexual Health in Royal

4:35

Oak , michigan . He's board certified

4:38

clinical sexologist , author of

4:40

four books , lecturer and

4:42

facilitator of therapeutic workshops

4:44

and throughout his 39

4:47

years of private practice

4:49

and is

4:51

that , oh , throughout ? She see , I fucked

4:54

it up Throughout his 39 years

4:56

of private practice and is the author

4:58

of six books on male

5:00

sexuality and the LGBT issues

5:02

. Shit , I'm fucking this up . Dr

5:05

Kort specializes in marital problems

5:08

and conflicts , mixed orientation marriages

5:10

, male sexuality and sexual health concerns

5:12

, sex addiction out

5:15

of control , sexual behaviors , sexual

5:17

identity issues , childhood sexual

5:19

abuse , lgbtqia , affirmative

5:22

therapy and I don't

5:24

know what this last one is Imago , imago

5:27

, imago . Relationship therapy

5:29

. Okay , please explain .

5:31

Yeah , I love Imago relationship therapy

5:33

. It's all about the idea

5:35

that couples meet each other

5:37

through familiar love , that it's not an accident

5:39

You're with a partner , that you're with and they both

5:41

, that both partners contain the positive and negative

5:44

traits of the primary caretakers who

5:46

raised you . And so from that premise

5:48

, imago relationship therapy has a bunch of

5:50

communication techniques that we use in the

5:52

, in the room .

5:53

Okay , okay , okay , that makes sense . And

5:55

you are host of a podcast

5:58

, can't forget . That is called

6:00

smart sex , smart love

6:02

, and I was listening

6:05

or watching actually because you have

6:07

video episodes as well watching

6:09

your episode with Dr

6:11

Kate B I can't pronounce her last name

6:13

. I know me either . I'm not

6:16

even going to try because , I'll butch it , but , oh

6:18

my God , I love her . I

6:20

love her , I follow her on

6:22

Instagram and she has some amazing reels

6:25

on there . When she speaks she

6:27

is mic drop Like I'm just

6:29

like all right , woman Like

6:31

yes , she's a really good speaker , I

6:34

know , I agree . And the way you were talking

6:36

about this in the episode , the way she delivers , it is just

6:38

this , very like . It's firm but

6:40

it's soft , and it's , but it's clear as

6:42

clear as fuck . I

6:47

love it , yes . So for those of you listening to this show right now , you have to go

6:49

check out that episode . Uh

6:51

, the show is smart sex , smart love

6:53

and , um , it's with Dr Kate B

6:55

. She was talking about women reclaiming

6:57

their sexuality . Wow , she

7:00

. There's some real moments in that show

7:02

where I was just like wow , and when she was

7:04

explaining to you what

7:06

it's like to get the dick

7:08

pics and the anger that

7:10

comes afterwards , and you were like I've never experienced

7:12

that .

7:12

I was like see , yeah , right

7:15

, right . Yes , it was very , it's very powerful

7:17

.

7:17

Yeah , great episode . Okay , so today

7:20

we're going to talk a little bit about the psychology around

7:22

cuckolding

7:24

cucks , cuck , angsty feelings

7:26

, and where this all comes

7:29

from , kind of thing . You have so

7:31

much experience with couples

7:35

who are experiencing issues

7:37

in their relationships . One

7:39

of the big challenges that

7:41

I have with cuckolding that

7:43

so many people have with cuckolding is

7:46

that this is a very male

7:48

driven fantasy . Um , lots

7:51

of guys are interested in this . They're watching the

7:53

porn , they're thinking , they're reading the stories , they're

7:55

researching it online Like

7:57

it's a sport , like it is really

8:00

a big thing for a lot of guys

8:02

and they're so desperate

8:05

to make this a reality that

8:07

they would really like to at least , but

8:09

they're scared . They're scared because

8:12

the way they have conflicting feelings a

8:14

lot of them have conflicting feelings

8:16

about being into this really

8:18

challenges their own ideas of what masculinity

8:21

is and they are conflicted

8:23

with that . And also

8:25

for couples , this

8:28

can be like a really scary thing

8:30

, a road to go down and

8:33

um , and they're kind of just like well

8:35

, I'm a , I really want this

8:37

, I would fantasize about this , really

8:39

want my wife to do this , but I

8:41

how do I know that this is not

8:44

going to blow up in

8:46

my face ? How do I know that this

8:48

is going to be okay and not harm my relationship

8:50

? These are real legit

8:53

kind of situations

8:56

and it makes it makes it really

8:58

difficult to be a cuck . I'm not going to lie Like I

9:00

don't know what that feels like to be

9:02

in that , but I have , I've

9:04

felt these kinds of things from a cuck in

9:06

a relationship and I really

9:08

feel bad for them to have to go through

9:11

these like . This kind of emotional turmoil

9:13

of this is so hot and sexy and I really

9:15

want this and also this is very

9:17

scary and makes me emotionally feel

9:19

very vulnerable and insecure

9:22

. What have you come

9:24

across in your practice when

9:26

it comes to couples who are

9:29

maybe where one of them is going

9:31

through this kind ?

9:33

of thing . So

9:35

sometimes , what you know , sometimes , when

9:37

you think about the fantasy and you think I'm going to

9:39

make this a reality , you don't think

9:41

about those kinds of consequences after you just think

9:44

this will be a transactional , random

9:46

, one-time thing , and it turns into something

9:48

else for people and that's what's unexpected

9:50

. Unfortunately , people don't think like that

9:52

. They don't think well , what could come from

9:54

this on the other side ? Because , like

9:56

you were , we were saying before the show , like there's

9:59

a post-nut reality to things . When you come down

10:01

from it and your psychology around

10:03

it , or or that drove it , or

10:05

that it's attached to from your past , rears

10:08

its head . And now you've got that to deal with in

10:10

addition to what just happened .

11:06

Yeah , that's . It's a big question mark

11:08

that a lot of couples , yeah , they don't really

11:10

expect it . For women

11:12

, this is especially challenging because

11:15

for a lot of women

11:17

, this is pressure that they feel from

11:19

their husband to fulfill this fantasy

11:21

and they're kind of like I don't know , like

11:23

are you sure you want me to do this ? Are you sure you're

11:25

not going to be jealous ? Like is this , are

11:27

you sure you're going to be okay , and stuff , and and

11:31

and so they , you know their partner

11:33

reassures them yeah , yeah , I'll be fine , I'll be

11:35

fine . This is going to be so hot . I just want

11:37

it to look like this and this and this and this and

11:39

be like exactly like my fantasy . And

11:42

then she will

11:44

go and maybe go

11:46

and try it in real life

11:48

and then it is really

11:50

hot . She's seeing her partner , potentially

11:53

seeing her partner , you know , really turned on

11:55

. This is amazing

11:57

, and stuff like that . And then maybe on the drive home

11:59

, shit

12:02

goes bad and

12:04

like he's just upset

12:06

. But she can feel that he's upset

12:09

, but he won't necessarily . Either

12:11

he doesn't know how to relay how

12:13

he's feeling , or he doesn't want to relay

12:15

how he's feeling and she's like what did I just

12:17

do ? I fucked up like I never

12:19

. I never want to do this again . Yeah

12:21

, this is such a big pitfall for

12:23

this kind of relationship . Oh

12:26

my goodness . Do you have any suggestions

12:28

or tips about like before

12:31

making this a reality ? For some

12:33

couples , maybe this should just stay as

12:36

like bedroom pillow talk

12:38

and that's it . And for

12:40

some couples , maybe they

12:42

have done the work and they are super

12:44

solid and they can

12:46

talk about those potential pitfalls beforehand

12:49

and they decide to go and do it . How

12:51

do you know if your relationship is

12:53

like is good enough , solid

12:55

enough to go down that road ?

12:57

Well , you don't right . And even if the relationship

12:59

is , you might not be , or they or your partner

13:01

might not be , but one thing for sure men

13:03

struggle with being vulnerable . In

13:05

general , we don't teach , we teach little

13:07

boys to turn their backs on vulnerability

13:10

. So that's why I think sometimes this is such

13:12

a hot fantasy , because it's like maybe

13:14

not conscious , but like this is an opportunity

13:16

for me to feel and be vulnerable and

13:19

it's eroticized . And so then

13:21

they step into that because it's you're horny

13:23

, you're , you're , it's all hot and everything

13:25

. But when it's over , now you're

13:28

really vulnerable . It's real

13:30

. It's not just eroticized . I mean that was

13:32

real too , but that was anesthetized

13:34

right by erotic feelings . So now you've got

13:36

all kinds of things that may come

13:38

up that about your history around abuse

13:40

, uh , it could be something about parentification

13:44

from a , from a parent where you , you

13:46

had to take your

13:48

. There was a triangle between your

13:50

mother and father being raised . It could

13:52

be homoerotic and homophobic

13:54

feelings around this and my wife

13:56

enjoyed another man . I might have compared

13:58

myself with this other man . I didn't realize that was

14:00

going to happen . I mean , there's so many different

14:02

parts to it that couples need to realize

14:05

even if you're strong individually

14:07

you're still strong , but it may have pitfalls

14:09

.

14:10

Yeah , and the other interesting

14:13

factor about this whole idea

14:15

around emotional support within a

14:17

cuckolding relationship is that oftentimes

14:20

it's the woman who needs

14:22

some sort of like emotional support

14:24

afterwards , especially if that's her

14:26

first time sleeping with someone outside of her

14:28

marriage . Um , she

14:31

might feel like , yeah , I'm really

14:33

going to do this for my husband , I can

14:35

get into this , this is okay , I'm going to do this , and

14:37

then afterwards feel that

14:39

kind of like heavy shame

14:42

around , feeling slutty or dirty

14:44

. Or is her husband husband

14:46

, you know ? Is he not going to look at her the same

14:49

way ? Is he going to , you know , disrespect

14:51

her now , or is this going to

14:53

be weaponized some time down

14:55

the road ? Um , those

14:57

are some concerns that I've heard from women

14:59

. So it's not just guys who need this kind

15:01

of like emotional support afterwards , but

15:04

but it's women too .

15:06

Yes .

15:07

If the if a couple is going

15:09

through the idea

15:11

of possibly making cuckolding uh

15:14

, their fantasy a reality , what

15:16

are some good conversations that you can

15:18

think of to try to open that dialogue

15:20

around ? Like you know , what

15:22

, if , what ? If this happens , how are

15:24

we going to deal with this Kind of some

15:27

strategies for couples to kind of initiate

15:29

that conversation beforehand ?

15:31

Yeah , the first thing I would definitely say is , no matter how many

15:33

what ifs you make and

15:38

we can talk about those there might be a bunch of other what ifs you never thought

15:40

about . So it has to be with the understanding that one of us could drop into

15:42

an unsafe feeling or unsafe space

15:45

and no matter how that works , we're not

15:47

going to judge each other , we're not going to weaponize

15:49

it against each other . We're going to use it as an opportunity

15:52

to get past

15:54

it , get you know , to grow from it in some way

15:56

. But that can be so hard when

15:58

you know the act is done , it's happened

16:00

. You can't undo it , you can't unsee it . But

16:03

I think beforehand it needs to be really

16:05

understood . This is fantasy and

16:07

, to be clear , one thing that people don't get

16:10

clear enough around is one wants

16:12

it to be . They talk about it just being transactional

16:14

and both of them agree , and then one of them

16:16

is like well

16:21

, wait a minute , I think I want a relationship with this person or some kind of ongoing , and it's

16:23

a surprise to that person , it's a surprise to the other partner and that should be anticipated

16:26

too . That could end up happening and

16:28

now you've got that tension between you .

16:30

That's actually one of the biggest fears that cucks have

16:32

is that they will all of a sudden be

16:35

replaceable and

16:38

that she'll end up enjoying

16:40

sex with this other guy , feelings

16:42

will be caught and he'll

16:45

end up losing her . It happens , it totally

16:47

happens out there , and so that's

16:49

a huge fear for for guys

16:51

. It was interesting . I did an episode

16:54

on um . I put out on Twitter

16:56

like what's the worst part about

16:58

being a cuck ? I did an episode on

17:00

what the answers were and it was fascinating

17:02

to me . One of the biggest things that

17:04

guys really struggled about with

17:07

being into a cuckold fantasy

17:09

is having to be so

17:11

closeted about it , having to keep

17:13

this so , so

17:15

secret . It was a big burden

17:17

on them and it doesn't feel good

17:20

and I was like that's amazing Cause

17:22

, like I can't imagine what

17:24

that would feel like to have to keep

17:26

that to yourself , like literally

17:28

tell nobody about that side

17:30

of you . It's so shitty , um . But

17:32

yeah , one of the other things was that the

17:35

the wife would leave him um

17:37

big fear about that . So

17:39

I can I can totally understand

17:41

how something like that happens . What I've seen

17:44

with couples some couples who

17:46

are new is that like he

17:48

wants this quote

17:50

, unquote bull the third guy to

17:53

be just some random guy that

17:55

they get , you know , pick off the internet

17:58

or something like that and arrange this hookup

18:00

. It's just a random guy , like a one

18:02

night stand kind of thing , and

18:04

maybe they'll go out for dinner first to meet each other

18:07

or whatever , but like it's a very

18:09

casual thing that you're talking about . This needs to be very casual

18:11

thing and um , but for

18:13

a lot of the women who I've talked to

18:15

, when it's their first time

18:17

, they want somebody who

18:20

is not a one night stand . They want somebody

18:22

who they feel safe

18:24

with , physically and emotionally safe with

18:26

. They also want to have some sort of like sexual

18:29

chemistry with this person and and

18:31

be able to like get to know them and

18:33

and and maybe some of that has

18:36

to do with their own you know , insecurities

18:38

around slut shaming and stuff like that , where

18:40

they feel like if this is not a one night stand thing

18:43

, then this is somehow better

18:45

. I don't know , but there's

18:47

this disconnect there , because you've got husbands

18:49

who want , like this , to be a no strings

18:51

attached , lots of rules

18:53

and boundaries set up so that I feel

18:55

like I'm somewhat in control of the situation

18:57

. That seems very scary . And then women who

19:00

are like well , I actually don't want

19:02

to have a one night stand , I want

19:04

this to be , you know , something more

19:06

than that , which is like fucking terrifying

19:09

for some guys . Do

19:11

you ? Do you think that it's

19:14

a good idea generally

19:16

for couples who are

19:18

going into this maybe for the first time

19:20

um , you know , meeting

19:22

up with a bull for the first time is a

19:24

good idea to set some really clear

19:27

rules and boundaries straight

19:29

up .

19:30

Yes , oh , absolutely , you know , um

19:32

, and so , yes , talking

19:34

to each other about expectations around

19:37

what this is going to mean for both of us . Because

19:39

for the guy , sometimes he's just looking

19:41

at it as a higher level of masturbation . He's not considering

19:44

what this is going to be like for her and

19:46

what could come up for her , and she's not a

19:49

fully a multi-dimensional partner

19:51

in this , and so because he's so aroused

19:53

by it and so that needs to be talked about and

19:55

he needs to be respectful and open to what

19:58

her feelings are around this . But I

20:00

want to go back to what you said as far as the vulnerability

20:02

of the secrecy which contributes to

20:04

the shame , because men are taught , I

20:07

mean , cause , what kind of a man would

20:09

allow his wife to be with another man and

20:11

be , you know , you're not mad , all of that stuff

20:13

? We don't see that in the gay community , by

20:15

the way , gay men can talk about it openly

20:18

. It's a , it's fun , it's interesting

20:20

and it's not invisible and it's not

20:22

secretive .

20:24

It's amazing . Okay , we need to take some notes from

20:26

that , because I read

20:29

your blog post on um

20:31

how toxic

20:34

masculinity is killing men . I was

20:37

just . I read that . I was like Holy shit , like

20:40

I'd never . I know that it's harmful

20:42

and stuff like that and I understand that

20:44

and you explained that in your post

20:46

, but how it actually affects

20:48

how long a person

20:51

, a man , may live , I

20:53

never really thought about that

20:55

.

20:55

Yeah , people

20:58

don't think so sad , it's sad

21:00

and what's more sad is how we raise boys

21:02

, um , to be men , and then we forget

21:04

that we teach boys turn your back on vulnerability

21:07

, don't have emotions , don't be able to identify

21:09

your inner life , don't have an inner life , don't

21:11

share your inner life , all this crap . And then this

21:13

little boy becomes this man and

21:15

he's his own target because he

21:18

doesn't know how to access any of this . So

21:20

that's why I think , think these , these fantasies are so

21:22

interesting

21:24

and curious to these men , because , right

21:27

, there is an opportunity to have all of

21:29

the access of all your inner life and

21:31

to be able to express it . But it's erotic

21:33

, so it's not real . But

21:36

it is real and people forget that . I think that

21:38

might be a thing that couples should talk about

21:40

. This is real , this is really going to happen

21:42

. There's another person entering our relationship . If

21:45

we have any feelings from our past about anybody

21:47

who cheated on us or any infidelity

21:49

, or how we feel about infidelity , even

21:51

though that's not at all about infidelity

21:53

, we should still have those conversations

21:56

and inoculate ourselves from having

21:58

the negative consequences from it and

22:02

inoculate ourselves from

22:04

having the negative consequences from it .

22:06

I am a huge fan of therapy . I think everybody

22:08

should go to therapy , not

22:14

necessarily because you have something wrong or trauma or something bad has happened or something is

22:16

problematic in your life or whatever , just to invest

22:18

in yourself and your relationship . It is

22:20

absolutely well

22:23

worth the money and

22:25

I have seen a huge

22:27

difference in the

22:30

cucks who have been to therapy and

22:32

the ones who have not

22:36

and I can imagine within

22:38

couples who've been married a long time

22:40

and that the difference that that

22:42

would make when it comes to stepping

22:44

into the , you know , enacting

22:47

these actual fantasies

22:49

, with all these pitfalls and

22:51

possible stumbling blocks

22:53

along the way . So

22:55

I'm a huge fan of therapy . I

22:57

absolutely think that it is worthwhile

22:59

for everyone and obviously

23:02

, um , you've had a practice for 39

23:04

years . That's amazing . Um so

23:07

you , you understand , um , but uh , what

23:09

are some of the things that couples who are thinking

23:11

about doing this ? What are some of the things

23:13

that would be kind of red flags , as in like

23:16

, okay , we really need to go

23:18

to therapy together or separate

23:20

or whatever , in order to figure out how

23:22

to do this , or if , even if we should do

23:25

this oh yeah , I think you

23:27

know , um , the infidelity

23:29

piece .

23:29

You know in the past if it could feel like

23:31

anything like that . Uh gets flagged

23:34

within themselves if they've had any kind

23:36

of sexual abuse . And some some of the men often

23:38

don't even know they were sexually abused , even as therapists

23:40

. We don't . I , I ask people they've been sexually . The men often don't even know they were sexually

23:42

abused , even as therapists . We don't . I , I ask people if they've been sexually abused . But I don't

23:44

stop there , because people don't always see it as sexual abuse

23:46

, whatever happened to them . So I have to say that somebody

23:48

much older touch you across the line inappropriately

23:51

. You know , um , and not

23:53

to say that sexual abuse , uh is

23:55

always driving any of these kinky fantasies

23:58

. We know better now . We know these days that

24:00

it doesn't drive it any more than it drives vanilla

24:02

behaviors . But it can get

24:04

reactivated and the

24:06

couple has to have . A red flag

24:09

would be that they didn't have a good communication with each

24:11

other . So that's why therapy is so helpful , and

24:13

another red flag is not having any support

24:15

. I really think if you're going to engage

24:18

in cuckolding , you should be talking to other people

24:20

who have also been doing it . If you

24:22

can find them . Yes , right , yes . It's

24:25

so important because then you're not isolated , you're not alone

24:27

and you can ask them what were the pitfalls that

24:29

they've seen or heard , that they've experienced themselves

24:31

.

24:32

I love that so much and I think that's why there's such

24:35

a need for community within

24:37

the cuckolding lifestyle . Within

24:43

the cuckolding lifestyle , especially for cucks to be able to talk to other cucks and understand

24:45

that , like these , these outlets were just , they didn't exist

24:47

before , and luckily we have places

24:50

now , like the Moan app is really great

24:52

for discussions around

24:54

this kind of thing . And then

24:56

there are there's a brand new podcast

24:59

that's just literally this week just

25:01

been released , called Cuck my Life

25:03

, which is Cuck

25:06

my Life , hosted by four Cucks

25:08

together , and it's a great

25:10

show , and I was just like , finally , yes , we

25:13

need more Cuck

25:15

perspectives out there , so we're

25:17

making progress . But it's

25:19

also really important for women to connect with other women

25:22

who have experience in this kind

25:24

of relationship dynamic

25:26

, and so , oh , I love the fact

25:28

that you brought that up . That is so

25:30

, so , so important . How

25:33

does a couple and

25:35

I'm sure you get this asked all the time how does a couple

25:38

find a therapist

25:40

who is open-minded to this , that

25:42

won't kind of judge them on their

25:44

sexy fantasies ?

25:46

Well , this is such an important question and it's

25:48

so important for people

25:50

to know that most therapists would shake their head

25:52

and shake their finger at you for

25:54

even engaging in this , because they're untrained

25:57

, they don't understand sexual fantasies

25:59

or sexual health . And so

26:01

you , to find the right therapist

26:03

, you have to go to sometimes there's something

26:05

called the ASECT , a-a-s-e-c-t

26:08

it's American Association of Sex

26:11

Educators , counselors and Therapistsorg

26:14

, and in that organization , which

26:16

I belong to , I'm a supervisor , I'm a certified

26:18

sex therapist . You can find people in your

26:20

area that would not bat an eye

26:22

at this , that would understand it and

26:24

work with you from a sex positive

26:26

place , because most therapists would see

26:28

this as pathological and attachment

26:31

disordered and trauma disordered , and I

26:34

could go on and on , and so I'm glad you're

26:36

asking that .

26:37

That sucks that .

26:41

I used to be one of those therapists . I know , because we're not

26:43

trained in sex and I don't I'm not attacking

26:46

therapists , we are . We've been locked out

26:48

of sexual health forever , so mental health

26:50

was over here , medical health was over here

26:52

and sexual health was over there . We all were all

26:54

separated . Now it's changing , but

26:56

it's slow .

26:57

Oh , my goodness , okay , do

27:00

you . Before we wrap this up , I absolutely

27:03

love all of the uh

27:05

advice that you have given so far . Do

27:07

you have any final thoughts on what , um

27:09

, what would be important for couples or

27:12

even single cucks to to think about

27:14

when it comes to , when it comes to cuck

27:16

holding ?

27:17

Do anything you can to get rid of any kind of shame

27:19

that you have attached to this and , like said

27:21

, the guys will be like why don't I want to be the bull

27:23

, why do I want to be the cuck ? As if as if

27:25

it matters being the cuck can be

27:28

more powerful than the bull . I mean , there's so much

27:30

so I think they should educate themselves

27:32

, reading david lay's book insatiable wives

27:34

, getting on fet life right and finding

27:36

a community , um , and just being

27:38

willing to have as many difficult

27:41

and sometimes brutal conversations with

27:43

each other about what's happening , that's , that's

27:46

the spice of a relationship , no matter what

27:48

you're going through .

27:49

Okay , where can people

27:52

learn more about you ? Listen to your show

27:54

, read your blog , all that sort of stuff .

27:56

Yep , everything can be found at my website at

27:59

um . Yep , everything can be found

28:01

at my website at Joe court . J O

28:03

E K O R . Tcom . Um , but any , any

28:10

of my social media , um Tik TOKs , uh . Instagram , linkedin , facebook is at Dr

28:12

Joe court . D R J O E K .

28:14

O R T . Thank you so much for coming on the show

28:16

today . I just think this has been absolutely

28:18

so valuable for for people

28:21

out there who are listening , so I really appreciate

28:23

you coming on the show . By the way , a

28:25

shout out to my helpful Cuck supporter

28:27

, sean , who recommended you

28:29

as a guest for the show today

28:32

. So thank you for that , sean , and

28:34

thank you , dr Court , for coming on the show

28:36

.

28:36

Thank you and thanks for being doing this work . I think

28:39

it's great work and thanks , sean , for having me on

28:41

the show .

28:42

Thanks for joining me today . Make sure

28:44

you go to venuscuckledresscom . That's

28:47

where you can book a private chat with me

28:49

, you can check out any cuckolding

28:51

events that might be happening , and you

28:53

can even ask a question for the show

28:55

, as well as , of course , join the Queens Quarters

28:58

fan club and get all the benefits

29:00

for that . You can also follow me on

29:02

instagram , the venus cuckoldris podcast

29:04

. I haven't been banned there . Well

29:07

, I have , but not recently . You

29:09

can also follow me on twitter , or whatever the fuck

29:12

you want to call it . My handle is at cuckoldris

29:14

v . That's it for

29:16

today . We'll see you next time .

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