We’ve been asking you all season long to submit your marriage questions, and in episode nine, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo ask Julie Baumgardner to answer them. They discuss a variety of questions related to previous episodes such as, “What do healthy boundaries look like with in-laws from both perspectives?”, and, “Should spouses be best friends?”. There were too many to answer in one episode, so the Q&A will be released in two parts. In this episode, the WinShape Marriage team talks through finances, connectedness, and conflict. Listen to this conversation, and stay tuned for part two next week. 

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Time Stamps:

(1:11) What do healthy boundaries with in-laws look like from both perspectives, the perspective of the couple and the perspective of both of their parents?

(6:48) My wife is a child of divorce, and this has developed insecurities in our marriage, specifically when we argue. How can I reassure her and help with those insecurities?

(11:26) How can you identify and address how you and your spouse’s family handled finances, and from there, how that affects finances in your marriage?

(16:05) What is the best way to love a spouse whose love language is receiving gifts but giving gifts is not always financially wise?

(18:55) What advice do you have for couples where one spouse places work and responsibilities as their main priority and doesn’t prioritize self-care and personal interests?

(22:23) Should spouses be “best friends,” or does that minimize the relationship?

(25:00) When talking through growth areas, what are ways to be sure you aren’t trying to change your spouse to be more like you and your personality?

(29:11) What are healthy ways to diffuse conflict over minuscule things? Can you talk about “nitpicking” and conflicts that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things? How do you choose your battles?

(35:25) What are some ways to hold yourself accountable, so you refrain from using a harsh start-up?

(40:00) How should you respond to your spouse if they use a harsh start-up versus a gentle start-up?

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Links:

“Boundaries,” Henry Cloud and John Townsend https://www.drcloud.com/books/boundaries

“The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce,” Judith Wallerstein, Julia Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee https://www.amazon.com/Unexpected-Legacy-Divorce-Landmark-Study/dp/0786886161

Money Habitudes https://www.moneyhabitudes.com/

The Love Language Quiz https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

“The 5 Love Languages,” Gary Chapman https://5lovelanguages.com/store/the-5-love-languages

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2024/05/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-Ep9.pdf 

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Relevant Resources:

“How To Talk About Finances Before Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-talk-about-finances-before-marriage/