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1:00

NYSC SIPC. How

1:27

so? I

1:30

just had a ex

1:32

girlfriend from a long

1:35

story. I don't know if you want to take

1:37

it back 10 years ago. And

1:40

then I don't

1:42

know if you saw my message saying it

1:45

was wrong for me to steal

1:47

her family pictures out of anger.

1:50

So yeah, you mentioned that you

1:52

stole your ex girlfriend's family

1:55

photos now. Well,

1:58

how many? How

2:00

many did you steal? A

2:03

full album and whatever was on the

2:06

wall. Just

2:08

like you were, was this from her place

2:10

or like her mom's place or what? This

2:13

was her place. I was

2:16

living with her and

2:19

I was just like, so

2:22

I don't know if we take it back I

2:24

guess. Ten

2:27

years ago we met, I was

2:29

married and we

2:31

were trying to do a little fuck

2:33

buddy situation and it didn't work out.

2:36

We ended up catching feelings and I

2:39

was still married so it

2:42

didn't. It wasn't working

2:44

for her. So we

2:46

broke off. Ten

2:48

years later I'm single. I

2:50

made up my life.

2:54

Started up by my

2:59

own company and I was doing pretty good. So

3:03

she comes in back

3:06

into my life ten

3:08

years later and she

3:12

pretty much after I committed

3:16

on giving up my dogs,

3:18

my shop. She

3:24

tells me she wasn't ready for a

3:26

relationship. So

3:31

I had her photos and I'm thinking about burning

3:33

them and sending them back to her so she

3:36

could feel the same pain I felt

3:39

when my dog got put down. So

3:41

that's a pretty big

3:44

story to take on right now

3:46

and that's where I'm at right now.

3:50

I'm confused on several aspects of this. The first

3:52

one is why did you have to kill your

3:56

dog? to

4:00

be in a relationship with this woman? Well,

4:04

uh, I was moving back. Uh,

4:07

I was trying to move into her state and I couldn't

4:10

find, I didn't know this was

4:12

a, a high risk kill shelter

4:14

dog location. And,

4:16

uh, I was,

4:19

I was on the timeline, let's just say.

4:22

So me not thinking what

4:24

type of dog shelter I took them to

4:27

ended up finding out like two, three months

4:29

later that, you know, they got put down.

4:31

So. So

4:37

you get, all right. So you, so this

4:39

woman comes back into your life. She lives,

4:41

how, how many states over does she live?

4:45

Uh, one state over a bit. That's,

4:47

this is about, you know, over three

4:50

over it's from, I'm in

4:52

Portland. So she's in California and

4:55

like LA area. So, all right. All

4:57

right. And you gave this dog

4:59

up to a shelter. Why did they do that? Is

5:01

that a thing you give a dog up for

5:03

adoption or, or to a shelter and

5:05

they just, they fucking kill it. Does

5:07

that really happen? Well, they gotta, they

5:10

gotta find a house for them. They

5:12

can't find a re-homing

5:14

home. They, you

5:16

know, depending on the dog, if it's aggressive

5:18

or not, you know, they, they, they decide

5:20

from there. That's come back. That's

5:23

fucked up. Yeah, that is kind

5:25

of fucked up. And these were great things. You know, I had

5:27

them from babies and,

5:29

uh, I don't probably four

5:31

years before women

5:33

came back into my life. How,

5:35

how, uh, how, oh, wait,

5:38

so it was two dogs. Yeah,

5:41

it was two, two, two great things. Uh, I

5:43

was the owner of three dogs. I kept my

5:45

little friend sheet. And,

5:48

uh, so that's the

5:50

only, my, my only new buddy at

5:52

the moment. Man. So you had, uh, a

5:56

Frenchie and two

5:58

great Danes. You gave the two great Danes. How old? were they?

6:02

They were about five, six. They were

6:04

just a year apart. Damn, that's kind of young to

6:06

just kill a fucking dog. Yeah,

6:09

I mean like I said, you know, I

6:11

should have done more research. I

6:15

wasn't on a timeline

6:17

and I was committed

6:20

to this person

6:23

that I guess didn't. I

6:25

mean, I don't know. I don't know if I'm gonna put that on

6:28

you, man. I mean, is that? I don't

6:31

know. I don't know how that universe works, but like there's got

6:33

to be something better you can do with the like

6:37

the shelter wise. Like if you

6:39

got a bunch of people coming to you with dogs, there's gotta

6:41

be something better to do with them than kill them. I

6:45

mean, yeah, I mean this for they were there for about a month

6:47

and a half or two before I

6:50

called. I mean, because I was I

6:53

was nervous to call in to find out they

6:55

were still there or if you got adopted. So

6:59

once my friend called in and I found out that, you know, they put

7:01

him down. That's

7:05

fucked up, man. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm still

7:07

I'm honestly shocked that that's what they do instead of

7:09

just I mean, I guess I don't know what

7:11

else they would do with them. I guess if there's

7:13

no space for them, but there's gotta be something better they can do than

7:15

that. I don't know. Anyway, I'm

7:18

sorry to hear about your daughter, man. Also,

7:22

I'm not gonna put it on your I'm not gonna put it on

7:24

your girlfriends. No, no,

7:26

and I could say it's all it's all it's

7:29

all on me. I decided, you know, I should

7:31

have done research. I decided to do stuff like

7:33

that. But I also

7:35

decided to like, you

7:38

know, because I also have kids and

7:40

decided to, you know, spend time away

7:42

from the kids. And you have kids.

7:44

I decided to take. Yeah, I got

7:46

kids. How many kids? I got three

7:48

girls, 12, 10,

7:51

or 14, 12 and a three year old. So

8:00

10 and there is Yeah,

8:03

or I mean it's it's 14 12 and 3 sorry 14

8:08

12 and 3 okay, and are they with

8:10

the woman who you were married with?

8:15

Yes, I mean there's they're

8:17

taking care of And they're

8:19

seeing but you know I gave I

8:21

gave up you know time

8:23

and And

8:26

then like I gave up a lot

8:28

just to you know accommodate to this this

8:30

person About

8:34

maybe on Sunday she decided

8:37

to tell me she wasn't ready

8:40

After a year, and I don't know how

8:42

long that she was ever in

8:44

a relationship Yeah,

8:47

so I Where

8:50

are your? I

8:52

want to get there, but like where where are your kids are

8:54

they like do they live with with

8:56

their mom? Yeah, they

8:58

live with their moms there How

9:01

long how long have you and your

9:03

wife been divorced? over

9:06

three years so Often

9:09

were you where you see it did you guys

9:11

have a split custody agreement or were they kind

9:14

of like mainly with mom? What's what's your deal

9:16

with that? It's pretty

9:18

open you know There's

9:21

you know we didn't live too far

9:23

from each other it was I could

9:25

go pick them up on the weekend I could go pick

9:27

them up. You know It was

9:29

a very mutual

9:34

With the moment so you and your

9:37

ex-wife Had

9:39

like a decent co-parenting relationship. There's

9:41

no crazy animosity or anything right?

9:44

No, we know and when when

9:47

she came into a live no no everything was

9:49

all good she came back in and Of

9:53

course there's some anger cuz you know the

9:56

same person that came along ten years ago.

9:58

You know I decided drop my

10:00

whole life well hold on

10:02

hold on I'm talking about I'm talking

10:05

about your ex-wife like you and your ex-wife yeah

10:08

are are called not like by this woman just

10:11

yet but um how

10:13

old are you by the way I

10:18

am too old for this high

10:20

school stuff I'm like 36 okay

10:27

so you're living in Portland you're

10:30

single hoping to catch your show too hold out

10:32

by now living in Portland you're single you got

10:38

your three dogs you see

10:40

your kids fairly regularly and then

10:42

I got a had a shop

10:46

have a had a shop right

10:48

okay and then then you mentioned that shop

10:50

I'm glad you brought that up again so why why

10:53

did you have to get

10:55

rid of your shop because you were moving so

10:58

so I closed it because I wanted

11:01

to spend you know more

11:03

time in California so I

11:07

closed the shop so I could you know move

11:09

to California to be

11:11

with this person and I had

11:16

to do it

11:18

otherwise I was

11:20

flying like I said I was flying back and forth for

11:23

a good while and it

11:27

became an issue that I was flying

11:31

out and

11:33

then it became an

11:36

issue that I wasn't

11:38

communicating while I was out and you know

11:40

while I was out you know I was

11:42

focused on my work because I have a

11:44

short timeline when you

11:46

all when I saw you when you say you were

11:49

a community okay so you were flying back and forth

11:51

to see this woman and when you were back in

11:53

Portland there was she said that there

11:55

was an issue with you not you guys not communicating

11:57

yeah like You

12:00

know, but when I'm important, you know, I'm focused on

12:02

my work. I want to get it done What

12:04

do you what do you do? Get it done, right? I do

12:08

I Do vehicle

12:10

wraps? I don't think

12:12

I want to mention the name of the shop. Okay,

12:15

but I do vehicle wraps and You

12:19

know, I have a good career I got a

12:21

good good thing 100 and 6k figure a year

12:23

for the past The

12:27

shop was open for six years before this woman

12:29

came back into my life. So I was doing I

12:31

was doing good Okay

12:35

and so When

12:40

did you decide to fully

12:42

move from Portland to California?

12:47

So that decision took place when

12:51

Where I was renting I

12:54

was renting out the dogs were a little bit of

12:56

an issue But you know, I did in mind, you

12:58

know ended up renting out a house to have my

13:00

dogs with me Heather

13:03

I had their Their

13:09

paperwork already and I

13:11

could have just rented out a house at the yard and

13:14

you know, oh, just just real quick so When

13:17

did you decide to move from

13:20

Portland to California? When

13:24

The apartment complex where I was

13:26

living that decided that my dogs

13:29

were they're big What

13:31

were a little bit today in the complex

13:33

just real quick. So it's it

13:35

is May of When

13:39

did you decide to move from

13:41

California from Portland to

13:43

California? I

13:46

that was About

13:49

September November of last year.

13:51

Okay. Okay. And then when

13:53

did this happen? Decide

13:55

that she did not want

13:57

a relationship. I'm just trying to get

14:00

and I get an idea of the problem. This

14:02

Sunday? This is

14:04

so fresh, this is Sunday.

14:07

Okay, so you're, are

14:09

you in California right now? I'm

14:12

back in Portland, I packed up my little stuff

14:15

I had left and it took off. Did

14:18

you move in with her in her place in California?

14:21

Yes. Okay, so you

14:23

left your place in Portland, moved in

14:26

with her in her place in California,

14:28

she says she doesn't, and

14:30

you're living there for a few

14:33

months. Quite a time, yes. Like

14:35

a nine month almost a year. And

14:37

then? Yeah, flying back and forth and working and trying to

14:39

make things, you know, because I do, you know, I was,

14:42

I was away from her and I had my own bills,

14:44

and you know, I had my, I had my bills I

14:46

had to take care of. Okay.

14:49

So, California rate was not cutting for me

14:51

to, you know, pay that off and, and

14:55

live. So I had to keep flying back

14:57

and forth to make up the difference. Okay.

15:01

I mean, so you were doing a lot you were

15:03

going you weren't even moved in California, you were just,

15:06

you never even really fully moved to California,

15:08

you were always going back and forth. Correct.

15:12

All right. So now I assume

15:14

you don't talk to this woman anymore. No,

15:17

no. I

15:20

don't want you to talk to her. Okay.

15:23

She, she and her little courtesy and

15:25

reaching back out to see how it's

15:27

doing 10 years later. Because

15:31

yeah, this, this really shook

15:34

my whole life. Oh

15:37

yeah, I almost honestly forgot about the family photos

15:39

thing. Don't let me forget about that because we're

15:41

going to get it to that. Yeah, I'm not

15:43

having to forget about that either. I still your,

15:45

where are I? So I mean, this is really

15:47

fresh. This is, I mean, Sunday, that's three

15:50

days ago. Yes.

15:53

And you're back in Portland. Are

15:55

you at your place? Do you have a place? I

15:58

have a place. Yes. It's not a

16:00

place, a room, everything's

16:02

all good. Right now,

16:05

for now, I feel like I don't know, I don't know

16:07

what's going on. And

16:09

so she tells you this in

16:11

person on Sunday in California. You

16:13

storm out of her house taking

16:16

a bunch of her family photos.

16:19

I did. I mean, I actually,

16:21

you know, I

16:25

wanted to see if she could just, you

16:27

know, talk it out, you know, I did

16:29

sacrifice, I did, I'm gonna say

16:31

I sacrificed. I moved a lot of pieces to

16:34

be with the woman. So I

16:38

was just hoping, you know, to

16:42

have the benefit of doubt to like, you

16:44

know, prove that I was committed or

16:47

something like that. How

16:53

you doing, Ethan? I'm

16:58

angry. I'm just gonna. So,

17:04

I mean,

17:06

look, man, I got a few things.

17:09

One is,

17:11

and you have the family photos right

17:13

now, right? And you said you wanna

17:15

angrily burn them? Yes,

17:19

and send them right back at her, you know?

17:21

She could live with, I have to live with

17:23

my memories, my dog, so

17:25

she could live with a very old friend.

17:28

Okay. Only chocolate

17:30

livers. I'm gonna try to

17:33

give, would

17:35

you let me try to give you a

17:37

compelling reason why to not do that? Yes,

17:40

because I've been thinking about this all

17:43

day. Okay, I'm gonna

17:45

try to give you a compelling reason

17:47

why to not do that. Because,

17:52

look, man, I get it. I

17:54

get it. I get what was behind moving

17:56

all of the pieces. And

18:01

sometimes people move

18:03

all of the pieces of their life

18:05

for another person to go move somewhere

18:07

else and it works out and they're

18:10

happy and that's great. And so that's

18:12

why I've recently, um,

18:18

you know, not felt like it was the ultimate

18:23

thing to do to not do that. But ultimately

18:26

I don't think stuff like that's a good idea. And here's

18:28

why you shouldn't burn the family photos. Is

18:30

because for

18:33

the past year or

18:35

however long that you've been, um,

18:44

maneuvering around the pieces of your life to

18:46

be with this woman, you

18:48

have let this woman and

18:52

kind of more importantly, the

18:54

emotions surrounding this woman,

18:59

influence and dictate what you're going to do

19:01

with your life. And

19:05

I think for you to

19:07

like heal and get better, you

19:09

have to let that go immediately. And

19:12

when you burn her family

19:14

photos out of anger and

19:17

send them back to her out of

19:19

anger, you are

19:22

continuing to

19:24

allow this woman and

19:26

your emotions surrounding this woman

19:28

to direct your life. So if you

19:31

want to stop that immediately, you

19:35

would just send the photos back.

19:39

You don't need a whole, I mean,

19:42

apologize if you want. You

19:44

don't need a whole thing. You don't need

19:46

a whole whatever. Just send them back and

19:49

start focusing on rebuilding your life. Because if

19:51

you burn them out of anger and you're

19:53

sitting around burning them, fuck you,

19:56

fuck her, fuck this, I'm pissed off, fuck this,

19:58

you know, you're just going to be like, diving

20:00

deeper into the emotional

20:04

bullshit that got you into this thing in

20:06

the first place. So

20:08

if you really want to let it go and move

20:11

on with your life, I

20:13

would return the photos. Because

20:25

letting your emotions towards

20:29

this woman guide you is what

20:31

got you here in the first place. So the first

20:34

step of being like I am no longer going to

20:37

do that is saying I'm no longer going to

20:39

follow the anger that I have towards

20:43

this person by

20:47

burning this shit and I'm just gonna let it go and

20:49

move on. What

20:52

do you think of

20:54

any of that? From

20:57

hearing that you know I feel at peace and

21:04

something I should

21:06

do but I

21:10

don't know. Like

21:13

I said I felt like I

21:16

abandoned my kids. You felt

21:21

like you abandoned your kids? I mean

21:25

I could see the girls, my girls, on

21:27

a daily basis if

21:30

I wanted to. Ethan?

21:39

And? Ethan. Yeah.

21:44

Okay. Dude,

21:47

there's still time. You have

21:49

a three year old and a twelve year

21:52

old and a fourteen year old and you're

21:54

in Portland and you have the

21:56

great, you still have, like you're

21:58

acting like You've

22:02

burned everything to the fucking

22:04

ground, man. Dude, if I

22:06

were you, man, like... Fucking

22:11

send the photos back and go hang

22:13

out with your kids. And

22:16

go be a dad and go be like, I'm

22:18

gonna fucking... You know,

22:20

I'm not gonna sit here and beat myself

22:22

up and go fuck this and dwell and

22:25

go do things

22:27

out of anger. Be like, you know

22:30

what? I'm gonna cut my fucking losses,

22:32

look to the future, hey, I can

22:36

still rebuild my shop. Hey, I

22:38

can still be a dad to my kids. Hey,

22:41

I can still be a good dog dad

22:43

to this Frenchie, you know? And the time

22:45

that you're spending focusing

22:48

in stewing in

22:50

your anger by burning these

22:52

fucking photos is just

22:54

a distraction from the

22:56

opportunity that you have to do those things. Yep. Are

23:23

you there, Ethan? Yeah, I'm

23:25

still here, Ethan. Does any of this

23:27

resonate with you? Yeah.

23:30

I mean, like I said,

23:33

I haven't spoken to anybody

23:36

about this. And I feel

23:38

dumb. Why

23:42

do you feel dumb? No,

23:46

I mean, it all... I

23:48

feel better just, you know, speaking about it and listening

23:52

to someone else's feedback, rather

23:55

than my own thoughts.

24:04

Dude, I'm telling you, I'll

24:07

just say everything I just said again, it's like,

24:12

you have the opportunity, like everything you're talking

24:14

about, being a

24:16

better dad to your kids, doing

24:18

better for your business, taking

24:22

care of your dog, you can

24:24

still do all of it, and

24:27

you can do all of it really

24:29

well, now

24:31

that you're not distracted by

24:35

what's going on in California. And

24:40

if you want to feel better, you

24:42

would start doing that instead

24:45

of distracting yourself by

24:48

getting really pissed off and burning this

24:50

woman's photos. Yeah.

25:03

Okay, well, yeah, I'll

25:05

definitely... Talk

25:09

to me Ethan, what's going on? I

25:16

mean, it

25:20

was just... I don't know,

25:22

I just don't understand why after

25:24

10 years she would text

25:27

me from a number of

25:32

years, was that wasn't even hers, and

25:35

I'm back into

25:38

my life, you know? Why

25:43

did she question the

25:47

love that I had towards her? Wow.

25:51

I was moving all these pieces like...

25:57

There were just too many pieces that were moving. moved

26:04

in this timeline to just

26:07

be okay, fuck it, whatever. Dude,

26:11

listen, listen, I

26:14

know that it's very hard because you moved

26:16

around a bunch of shit and you have

26:18

a strong, clearly have a very strong feelings

26:21

towards this woman. But

26:24

just bro, whatever you do,

26:26

don't convince yourself that you

26:29

have no life. You have,

26:31

you've got three kids, man. No,

26:33

no, I know I got a life. I know I

26:35

can rebuild myself and- You got a life, man. You

26:38

got a life, man. And my job and- And

26:40

you got your job and you got a life, man.

26:43

I'm gonna

26:45

make six figures and I

26:47

know it's just- It's

26:55

just the reset is

26:57

what's bothering the

26:59

most. Because

27:02

I did tell her that we were gonna- Try

27:06

this relationship, right? You don't want to

27:08

reset. And

27:15

I have to.

27:20

No. Ethan?

27:31

Yeah. Um,

27:36

what's up? I

27:40

don't know. I'm okay. I'm

27:46

definitely gonna take you into consideration just knowing

27:49

I'm back in and caught

27:51

my losses. Okay. Yes,

27:55

I know I could do whatever. I

27:58

know I could do whatever. I do

28:00

I have the resources to do we

28:02

build myself You

28:05

know that's not the end of the world and

28:08

takes a look look brow take

28:10

some time to mourn It's cool to take some time

28:12

to mourn It's

28:14

totally cool to take some time to mourn and

28:17

you should And you don't have to

28:20

rebuild right away And

28:23

take some time to mourn I Was

28:27

like I was even a patient a

28:29

paycheck like dude,

28:31

dude Just do

28:33

whatever you do don't don't burn those

28:35

photos Not

28:39

because of anything with her but because

28:42

it will only deepen Your

28:45

issues it won't make them better Thank

28:56

you Ethan

28:59

is there anything else that

29:03

you want to say about

29:06

any of this or to the people of the computer?

29:10

Oh Really think think

29:13

we really think things

29:15

through And

29:18

I dive in into The

29:21

unknown What

29:25

we'll see All

29:28

right Take care Ethan. I'll

29:30

say it one more thing if you get anything out of

29:33

the fuck it rewatch this

29:35

if you can I Will

29:37

if it was helpful to you, okay rewatch this

29:39

if you can man, cuz you're

29:41

gonna because you also you might get like a

29:43

little Tinge of motivation

29:46

and then go right back to being like fuck

29:48

this fuck her fuck everything but

29:51

you just gotta keep reminding yourself that you got a good

29:53

life and you got a Give

29:55

your attention to serving the life that

29:57

you already have instead of

29:59

mourning this

30:01

life with this woman because you

30:04

got a pretty damn good life already with her without

30:06

her. Take care of them. Thank

30:10

you. Life is crazy.

30:15

I guess there is something kind of funny about like like

30:18

it's it's a picture of her

30:21

at Disneyland on

30:23

the Splash Mountain ride and it's

30:26

just burning in a fire.

30:28

Still don't do it. Don't do it. Attention

30:32

listeners of the Therapy Gecko podcast.

30:34

I have new tour dates on

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33:57

What's up man? What's up dude? What's your name? This

34:00

is Ian. How's your life going, Ian? It's

34:03

going great. All right, so this is my first stream I've

34:05

watched. I've been walking on YouTube for a

34:07

couple weeks now. So I've logged on, I

34:09

got my trip set up, and

34:11

then I followed you, and then I saw your stream, and so I'm

34:13

like, look it, I'll send a text. I

34:16

feel blessed to be the first person you call.

34:19

Nice, man. Nice. Well,

34:21

Ian, yeah, you texted me,

34:24

and you said that you're a driving instructor.

34:27

And then you wrote after that, and I guess

34:29

that's a good conversation. And

34:31

I'm curious, have you ever been in a

34:33

car with

34:37

somebody that you're instructing on how to

34:39

drive, and they

34:43

crash into somebody and kill them? No,

34:52

no, definitely. I don't think I still

34:54

have a job if that happened. Really?

34:57

I feel like you don't have liability in that

35:00

situation. Well,

35:03

I mean, I have like a little brake pedal,

35:05

so I have some modicum of control, but it's

35:08

not that much. If you're

35:10

in the passenger seat, and

35:12

somebody in the driver's seat runs over somebody

35:14

and kills them, are you legally liable

35:17

because you have your own brake? I

35:23

mean, maybe.

35:26

I'm sure somewhere in the world, someone has

35:28

been on a driving lesson and

35:31

run over somebody else. I can see that happening,

35:34

for sure. Are you a

35:36

good driver? Personally,

35:39

I've been pretty good, yeah. The past few

35:41

months, yeah. I mean, when I was younger,

35:43

definitely. I mean, younger isn't like

35:46

a few years ago. Definitely not the best driver, but

35:48

yeah, I've chilled out for sure a little bit. Well,

35:50

now, when you say you weren't the best driver, what

35:53

made you not a good driver? And

35:57

what do you chill out to

35:59

become a better driver? Yeah,

36:02

I was mainly pretty bad speeder when I was

36:04

younger, so I was just kind of super late

36:07

at night and just drive super

36:09

fucking fast. Do you

36:13

ever get the urge to do that again? No, I

36:18

try to keep it under 90, which is still a pretty

36:20

big number, but less than... Under 90, yeah. What's

36:24

the speed limit where you live? Oh, like 75.

36:28

Okay. So, in

36:32

my mind, that's not too much, but yeah, that's still 15 over, which is

36:34

kind of a lot. But

36:36

no, yeah, usually

36:38

about, I don't know, 75 or 80

36:40

when I'm driving around, but there's sometimes a little bit of road rage

36:42

for sure. What, you get a little bit of road rage, you say?

36:46

Very rarely, yeah, very rarely.

36:48

There's some crazy drivers out here. Really? Because I imagine you

36:50

as some kind of zen master of driving where nothing bothers

36:52

you, but what gives you road rage? Is

36:59

it people going slow? Is

37:01

it people cutting you

37:03

off? Is it people entering your car and just

37:07

taking all the stuffing out

37:09

of your seats? What gives you road

37:11

rage? Okay,

37:15

well, yeah, taking all the stuffing out of my

37:17

seats would probably be the last drive. It's already

37:19

pretty uncomfortable in my car, but no,

37:21

it's usually people that pass

37:23

a little uncomfortably too close.

37:27

I can get, you know, some people just don't see me, but sometimes it's

37:29

just like, okay. Like, I see you in

37:31

my rear view, you're coming up at 110 or

37:33

whatever. I'm going speed limit. And

37:36

then you decide to do some super close shit, and

37:38

I'm like, I don't want to hit anybody, but that

37:40

makes me mad. I know it shouldn't, but it

37:42

does. Hey,

37:45

I got a question for you. Yeah.

37:47

What's your take on walking? My

37:51

take on walking, it's not too bad, man. It's not

37:53

too bad. I

37:56

mean, given a good pair of shoes and,

37:58

you know, not taking it. terribly hot weather, yeah

38:00

I could walk. What

38:08

was your dream when you were a child? My

38:12

dream, like the dream

38:15

goal in life. Yeah, yeah. I

38:18

always wanted to be a pilot. Alright,

38:22

look, I mean like I'm an airplane? Yeah,

38:26

yeah, like I'm flying an airplane, yeah. Okay,

38:28

I mean you did pretty good, if

38:31

that was your goal. Yeah?

38:35

Yeah, I mean because you're not, I mean you're a

38:37

pilot, no I mean you are a pilot, but just

38:39

of a car. Which I

38:41

guess is not that special because most, a

38:43

lot of people, they give a driver's license

38:45

a lot more freely than plane licenses.

38:49

Which by the way, I don't think that they should. I think

38:51

it should be just as hard to get a driver's license as

38:53

it is to get a plane one. Because

39:00

it's safer to fly on a plane than

39:03

be in a car. Yeah,

39:07

that's totally true. Yeah, it's a lot more,

39:09

I mean in some places it is a

39:11

little bit harder. I've watched videos like Germany,

39:13

they have to do some, I think it's

39:15

like hours, like crazy amount of hours of

39:17

like studying and taking all these tests. But

39:19

that's true, it's incredibly easy to

39:21

get a license. Dude, you can

39:23

be 16 and high and they'll let

39:26

you drive a car, it's pretty wild.

39:29

Nobody's gonna say anything, nobody stops you and

39:31

that's the thing, like I do just

39:34

like multiple hours of talking to students and they're

39:37

all about like 16 or whatever. I

39:39

just, I talk to them about like random shit, it's for a unique

39:41

position so I guess I just talk to them. And

39:43

it sounds like for some reason, yeah a lot of

39:46

people do like smoking at that age. They're

39:48

all high, they're all, every 16 year

39:51

old that you're teaching how to drive

39:53

is high while you're

39:55

teaching them. Because you learn when

39:57

you're like in high school. like

40:00

weed person you learn okay

40:03

look look look driving

40:07

stones is a DUI it's

40:10

a DUI all right you can't

40:12

argue with it is undeniably a

40:15

DUI but some at

40:18

some point like I like

40:20

if you have an older sibling

40:22

or like some some other kid

40:24

tells you that you can

40:26

drive high and it's not that big of a

40:28

deal and you believe them forever and

40:32

you driver and also because I like

40:34

driving around in a car they call

40:36

it a blunt ride driving

40:38

around in a car

40:40

getting high at 16 dangerous

40:43

thing to do but

40:45

also I mean the most fun that you'll

40:47

ever have in your entire life until you

40:49

get a DUI and your life sucks from

40:51

then on but every

40:53

kid that you're teaching how to drive is

40:56

incredibly stoned I

40:59

mean I believe

41:01

it in some cases I would definitely definitely

41:03

believe it well the thing that's crazy too

41:05

is there's no like compared to like alcohol

41:07

there's no like roadside real like

41:10

serious test that tells you know yes or no if

41:12

you're high is just you

41:15

know if your eyes are red I guess I don't know I've never

41:17

never run into that problem but I

41:19

could definitely see that being the case every

41:21

student being high that's only

41:24

slightly concerning because nobody's crashed yet so I guess

41:26

they're doing a good job at it some

41:29

people say that they're better drivers when they're

41:31

high but I don't believe them at all

41:33

I mean people have said

41:36

that about being drunk too I don't believe

41:38

them do you get high do you

41:40

smoke weed I

41:43

mean I've kind of chilled I maybe like once a

41:45

month I definitely used to be daily user but maybe

41:47

like once a month now yeah we

41:49

knew were you driving high where you remember

41:52

when you were speeding when you're going nine

41:54

when you're going ninety five are you stoned

41:56

at your gourd not

42:00

recently but as far as the past

42:02

goes. Maybe, maybe not.

42:04

I'll play the fifth on that one. Does

42:07

that disqualify you from being a driver

42:09

driving instructor if you've ever gotten high?

42:13

They never asked me about that. I mean I

42:16

would assume they probably frown upon you being high

42:18

while you're teaching people how to drive but they

42:20

never said it. Did they drug test you for

42:22

that? No,

42:24

I mean they pulled my driving record and

42:26

that was pretty much the extent of like

42:28

any background check. Why?

42:31

There should be like a driving

42:33

school that you go to to

42:35

learn how to drive

42:37

drunk. Like

42:40

they teach you how to do it. So

42:43

and it should and I'm just like it

42:45

should still be illegal and

42:47

you still shouldn't do it. But

42:50

there's it's kind of like you know how there's

42:52

like safe injection

42:54

spots the kind of thing where it's like people are

42:56

gonna do it anyway so let's you

42:59

know kind of prep them for it. Show them why

43:01

not? Let's do a

43:03

drunk driving school where

43:06

you can drive drunk which

43:08

you shouldn't do and should definitely be

43:10

illegal but if you're gonna

43:12

do it here's the here's how to do it

43:14

I guess. Yeah

43:16

like here's why you should not do it because

43:19

I guess everybody gets

43:21

the crash while they're drunk once and then

43:23

say well I went to drug prep school I'm not gonna do

43:25

it again. Yeah what

43:27

if there were there should actually be like

43:29

a you're

43:32

not allowed to get drunk and ride bumper

43:34

cars or go-karts or something but they should

43:36

really just like idiot proof maybe

43:39

like a dome or an arena

43:41

or something and like make some really

43:43

really fuzzy cars put like a

43:45

bunch of padding on them and shit and

43:48

be like alright in this one instance you

43:50

can get drunk and drive

43:52

in this controlled environment for

43:54

all the person I think that would like curb

43:57

drunk driving we like a purge

43:59

of drunk driving. But it was like one dough.

44:02

It was like a big dome complex where

44:05

everything is Padded

44:07

and pillows and I don't know if pillows are

44:09

gonna stop a car crash, but you know I'm

44:11

saying Yeah, yeah, yeah

44:13

kind of like how they do like the drag race

44:15

like it The cops will show up

44:17

to like drag races and it's like racing race a

44:19

cop type deal Right

44:23

I don't I Don't know

44:25

you ever heard of that I do know I

44:28

don't know if that had anything to do with what I was

44:30

talking about But I saw I don't I don't know what I

44:32

was talking about even really made any sense, so that's okay It's

44:35

really good. Yeah. Yeah, what's your deal

44:37

would you ever do a drag race? Are you fast? Do

44:39

you think you could do well in a drag race? Me

44:45

well it depends on my car I guess because it's just

44:47

kind of like something to run we go I've done some

44:50

a couple races that like well Not necessarily races, but

44:52

some like track days for sure going around track, but

44:54

I haven't done any drag racing No Do

45:00

you think you'd be good if you were to

45:02

do drag racing Yeah,

45:05

I don't know if my car would be good I don't think

45:08

I don't think you would like that very much, but yeah, I

45:10

could definitely try it sure One

45:13

of my I actually might have talked about this on

45:15

the podcast before but one of my favorite onion articles

45:17

is Driving

45:20

instructor has own gas pedal in

45:22

case student a total pussy No,

45:27

there are definitely sometimes I wish I had like Bluetooth

45:30

gas pedal because you know we'll like make a turn or

45:32

something I'm like okay There's a car coming

45:34

like 45 and we're turning going like 10 like we

45:36

need to kind of pick that up a little bit

45:38

So yeah, I could totally see a big a thing.

45:40

I wish it was a thing, but all I have

45:43

is a brake pedal That's

45:45

actually a good. That's a good Driving

45:48

instructor reacts to the onion

45:50

article Take like that's a

45:52

good because it seems like just

45:55

a joke at the first, but you're right actually

45:57

a second gas pedal would

45:59

be Good, because sometimes it's dangerous to

46:01

go slow. Or

46:04

like, you know, sometimes we get on the interstate too.

46:06

It's like, OK, we need to be going a little

46:08

bit more than, like, 30. Here you have to speed

46:10

them at 75, right? Yeah, so to get a

46:12

little bit more oomph, get things moving along.

46:16

So is anything horribly wrong with your life that you want

46:18

to talk about before we go? Oh,

46:22

horribly wrong with my life. No, I mean,

46:25

muddy's tight, for sure. I mean, ping

46:27

and driving structure is fun, but it's not incredibly

46:31

the most high-paying job out

46:33

there. Somebody's tight a little bit, but

46:36

not necessarily anything horribly wrong, I don't think.

46:38

You could probably make some extra money selling

46:40

weed to the kids. I

46:47

probably could. There definitely, I've met

46:49

some that probably could

46:52

happen. I don't think that's anything I could get away with.

46:55

Yeah, no, I don't think I could get away with it, I'm

46:58

sure. Again, it's not outside the room,

47:00

if possible. So you think one of them would narc

47:02

on you? I

47:06

don't know how to get away with, like, in front of you,

47:08

like, you pull back up to the driving school and

47:10

just, like, what were you

47:13

doing out there for, like, 10 minutes? Oh, no big

47:15

deal. You know, just talking. I

47:17

guess it wouldn't be too hard to get

47:19

away with. I don't know if I have the, I don't

47:21

know, I

47:24

feel like I'm not too good at doing shit like

47:26

that. What's

47:28

your name again? Ian.

47:32

Ian, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer

47:34

before we go? Drive

47:38

safe, everybody. It's dangerous, but no, thanks

47:40

for taking my call, man. Appreciate the

47:42

podcast. Of course, take

47:44

care, Ian. Good luck. Peace, have a good

47:46

night. I

47:50

need a gecko instructor who

47:53

has his own hang up the phone button,

47:56

just in case if things get a little too crazy.

48:01

You know, Ian seems like a cool guy. I

48:03

bet. I hope he finds a

48:05

better way to make money than

48:08

selling weed to teenagers. Although,

48:10

I mean, when I was

48:12

a teenager, the other teenagers that

48:14

were selling teenage me weed, they made a

48:16

lot of money. They made more

48:19

money than I think

48:21

a lot of people make as adults. So,

48:24

you know, I guess it

48:26

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48:53

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48:55

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48:57

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even flying cars. Okay,

49:23

no flying cars, but as soon as they get

49:25

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49:27

wait. AutoTrader. Hello?

49:33

Hello there. What's up? What's your name? My

49:36

name's Amber. I'm a little nervous.

49:40

Amber, how can I... What's up, man? What

49:42

do you want to talk about today on

49:44

the Gecko show? Um...

49:48

Well, I recently lost

49:50

my virginity and it was like...

49:53

It kind of

49:55

sucked. Interesting. For like, both

49:57

of us, but... I

50:00

mean, I don't know. How old are

50:02

you? 24.

50:07

And so you just, where is this? Was this like a,

50:10

was this like a waiting for marriage

50:12

thing? Was it a, you know, the

50:14

timing never happened thing? What, you

50:17

know, what was the deal? Yeah, it was like

50:19

a, it was a waiting for marriage

50:21

thing. And

50:26

are you are you religious? Yeah,

50:30

we both are. And

50:35

you said it sucked. So I guess, I

50:37

mean, I guess, of course, it's gonna, yeah,

50:39

I mean, it's definitely gonna suck. I guess,

50:41

well, no, I'm not gonna say it's definitely

50:43

gonna suck. Because I guess you have the

50:45

pro of the fact that the person you're

50:47

doing it with is somebody who you've, you know, made

50:50

this, you know, big commitment to.

50:53

And so there's some like comfort

50:55

in that. But, you

50:58

know, they also probably don't

51:00

know how to eat pussy very well, because they've

51:02

never done it before. So

51:05

it's a trade off. Yeah,

51:09

well, why did it why did it suck? And I

51:11

mean, it

51:13

hurts. Like, it's,

51:16

it's like, it's uncomfortable. Like, I've never, you

51:20

know, had something like that big down there. And

51:24

like, it's hard to

51:26

relax to like, I don't

51:29

know, you stressed out and did

51:34

it live up to your expectations

51:36

at all? I

51:40

mean, kind of, yeah, like, I wasn't really

51:42

expecting it to be good, you

51:45

know, just because it was our first time.

51:47

And I mean, you just know

51:49

what the fuck we're doing, you know. So

51:54

I wasn't like, really, I wasn't really

51:56

disappointed. Like, I think it was still like a

51:58

good time. It was like a good experience that

52:00

we both had and it's just

52:02

something that we'll keep working on together and I

52:04

look forward to that, you know. That's

52:07

very nice. How was it for him? Was he stoked?

52:12

Yeah, I mean, we were both stoked. We're

52:15

both like really nervous though, like we both kind of struggled.

52:18

So I mean, we're kind of on like the same boat,

52:20

you know. How

52:22

long have you guys been dating for? Um,

52:26

like two or three years now. I

52:30

think two years. And what was it

52:32

about him that made

52:35

you want him to be the first

52:38

and only person to ever

52:41

touch a penis of? He's

52:47

just so sweet and caring and

52:49

he's someone that I can be

52:51

vulnerable around, you know. Like I

52:54

don't need to feel uncomfortable around him.

52:56

Like I don't

52:58

know. I just feel really comfortable being vulnerable around

53:00

him. He's so patient and so kind and he

53:02

loves me so much and I love him a

53:04

lot too. And he just

53:07

gets me like we're both just, I

53:10

don't know, we just fit each other well, you know,

53:12

you know what I mean? Like you just get along with someone

53:14

really well. That's

53:17

nice. That's nice. You know,

53:20

I've never been a big like

53:23

religious person and

53:26

I think, well, any time I

53:28

talk to somebody who's religious or like, you

53:31

know, like what you just said, there does seem to be

53:34

this lowering

53:37

of anxiety. There's something, what's the, lowering

53:39

of anxiety. Fucking, there does seem to

53:42

be this calmness to

53:45

I'm gonna follow these rules.

53:48

And when I get lost in life,

53:50

I have these rules that I can go back

53:52

to. You know what I mean? Like

53:55

that sounds like it gives you like,

53:57

you know, being on hinge or whatever.

54:01

No, I like completely feel that.

54:04

I wasn't really religious

54:06

until like, I don't know,

54:08

like two or three or no, like four years

54:10

ago. And like

54:13

I was kind of feral. I

54:15

don't know. It

54:17

was kind of hard living through life,

54:20

thinking like, there's no purpose.

54:22

We're all going to die. You

54:25

know what I mean? I can just

54:27

do whatever I want, whatever makes me

54:30

feel good in the moment. And I just kind of, I

54:33

don't know, like I would get like drunk every weekend and

54:36

it was, it like sucked.

54:39

Like I thought I was happy. And like, it just wasn't

54:41

for me, like not saying that, you know,

54:43

if you enjoy those things, like there's nothing wrong with

54:45

it. But like for me, it just, I

54:47

don't know. I just

54:49

felt really lonely and all that, you know. And

54:53

what was your come to Jesus moment?

54:55

What was it that transitioned you from

54:58

being quote, feral into being

55:00

a woman of God? I

55:05

honestly met like a really, really

55:08

nice group of people that, I

55:13

don't know, they were just so welcoming and

55:15

loving. And I felt like I

55:17

could be like honest with these new friends.

55:19

And I didn't feel judged. Like I just

55:22

felt like, like they just listened to me and

55:24

you know,

55:27

and they like, the nice thing

55:29

was too, is like, I wasn't like pressured at all.

55:31

Like it was just kind of, I

55:33

made these friends that happened to be like really

55:35

religious and you

55:38

know, they just, they were just so kind and

55:40

loving. And I was like, oh my gosh, like

55:42

how are you like that? Like I hate everyone.

55:45

You know what I mean? And

55:51

was it an easy transition to

55:53

start believing from nothing? Because

55:55

I mean, it sounds like you weren't,

55:57

were you particularly religious growing up? Um,

56:04

I mean my family was, but it wasn't

56:06

like, it

56:09

kind of felt like there

56:11

was a lot of rules, but like there wasn't any reason

56:13

for them. Like it just kind of felt like you

56:16

need to behave or you're going to hell. So

56:18

that obviously like very much turned me away. It

56:20

was just kind of like, well, like what the

56:22

fuck? Like, you

56:24

know what I mean? Like, so it

56:27

got, that kind of gave me like a bad taste in

56:29

my mouth and I was just like, this

56:32

sucks. So I kind

56:35

of like, I did grow up in like

56:37

a pretty religious household, but, and

56:39

it turned me away and then, you know, I met those people and

56:41

I was like, oh wait, you guys are like actually

56:43

nice and like not crazy. That's

56:46

interesting because a lot of the times people, they grow

56:48

up in a religious household and

56:50

then they meet a group of other young

56:52

people their age and they're like, how are

56:54

you guys staying so cool? And most of

56:56

the time they're like, well, we do whippets

56:58

every moment of every day. But you happen

57:00

to meet people who are like,

57:02

no, we like Jesus. And so that's good.

57:05

Is it Jesus or is it, are

57:07

you Buddhist? What's up? Does Buddha make

57:09

people wait to have sex? What are

57:11

you? Christian. Um,

57:18

do you ever do whippets? No,

57:22

I never have. The most

57:24

I've ever done is like weed and that's

57:26

not even that intense. And

57:29

I have like a really bad experience with it like a

57:31

couple months ago. So I'm like, I don't even touch it

57:33

anymore. A

57:35

couple months ago. Wait, so when did you start, when

57:38

was it like, okay, I'm not, uh, is

57:41

we, has God against weed? Can you

57:43

smoke weed as a Christian? Um,

57:47

I mean, I think you can

57:49

enjoy things like within reason. Like I

57:51

feel like, you know, like you

57:53

can enjoy alcohol to like,

57:57

um, you know, not like someone.

58:00

I think you can enjoy those things and I would say the same

58:02

thing for weed. I

58:06

don't really see a big difference between the two, you

58:08

know? Sorry to

58:10

ask. No, no,

58:12

I'm awkward as fuck. Go ahead. No, me

58:14

too. I'm so scared right now. I

58:16

feel like as long as you're not

58:18

doing those things to the point that it's not

58:22

that bad, doing

58:28

those things to the point that it's

58:30

ruining your life, you know? But

58:34

I guess everyone's different and has different influences,

58:36

so it's obviously not the same for everyone, you

58:38

know? How'd

58:43

you meet your husband? We

58:47

met at a bonfire. That's

58:49

cool. Well, what

58:52

was the first thing you said to him? Yeah.

58:56

I don't even remember. He was honestly

58:58

like such a dork. He was kind

59:00

of cringy. What? I

59:03

don't remember. I just know. Was

59:06

this like a, was this like

59:08

a Christian bonfire? Like an actually

59:10

Christian meetup group or something? Yeah,

59:15

it was like a Christian community on

59:17

our campus. That's

59:20

cool. I'm

59:22

Jewish and we don't have, last

59:24

time we had a big

59:26

bonfire. That bonfire was actually when we killed Jesus. So

59:29

we got to do another one. We're due for another bonfire. What's

59:34

there? I don't think there was a fire when we killed Jesus.

59:38

There might've been a fire. I assume there was a fire. When

59:40

I imagined a scene in my head, there

59:42

was a fire. But anyway,

59:44

that's cool, man. And sorry, you guys

59:47

gonna have a kid? Maybe

59:52

someday. I

59:54

don't want it right now though. Well,

1:00:01

Amber, uh, is there

1:00:03

any- I guess, do I have any more

1:00:05

questions for you? Where's the guy? Where is he at? Um,

1:00:10

he's like, he's not home right now.

1:00:13

Does he have a job? Yeah.

1:00:18

What's he do? Um,

1:00:23

he works like in a manufacturing

1:00:25

warehouse. Hmm.

1:00:29

What do you do? Nothing too crazy. I

1:00:34

work as a substitute teacher right now. Ah,

1:00:37

okay. Yeah.

1:00:39

Um, do you ever get into

1:00:41

fights with kids? Heh

1:00:45

heh. No, but sometimes it's

1:00:47

tempting. Heh heh heh. Well,

1:00:51

Amber, I'm- I'm gonna let you go. Thank

1:00:53

you for talking to me about- Yeah. The stuff. Uh,

1:00:56

is there anything else you want to say to people- Yeah. To

1:00:58

the computer before we go, or about any of this? Um,

1:01:03

no, but thanks for calling and thanks for listening

1:01:05

to me. I hope you all have a good

1:01:07

day and enjoy your life. You

1:01:10

too, Amber, and sorry again about- about

1:01:13

killing Jesus. Heh

1:01:15

heh heh. It's okay, I forgive you. Heh heh heh.

1:01:18

Hell yeah, we got it, we did it, we got

1:01:20

the forgiveness. Alright, take care, Amber, thank you. Heh heh

1:01:22

heh. We thank you, have a good day. Heh heh

1:01:24

heh. Ooh! It's

1:01:27

funny, in- actually, it's kinda like this, I

1:01:29

guess, in Christian camps, but like,

1:01:31

in Jewish, like, when I

1:01:33

was growing up, I- okay, I think

1:01:35

from what I understand is- is, when

1:01:37

you grow up, like, super Christian, they

1:01:39

teach you about, like, abstinence and stay,

1:01:42

you know, wait until marriage and

1:01:45

all that stuff. And from my experience, in

1:01:47

Judaism, it's really been the opposite. They really

1:01:49

do the opposite. What they do is they

1:01:51

have this- there's this thing called BBYO. It's

1:01:54

like a, uh, the B'nai Brith Youth

1:01:57

Organization or some shit like that. Damn.

1:02:01

Or. Jewish people do the opposite where they're

1:02:03

like. You guys should

1:02:05

start having sex right now so we can

1:02:08

make more Jewish people. They basically take all

1:02:10

the Jewish I think I've talked about this

1:02:12

on this plugin by cast before but like

1:02:14

the basically just take all the Jewish kids

1:02:16

and put him on a dance floor. And

1:02:19

so they all start grinding on each other. And

1:02:21

that's how I. That's kind of what the messaging

1:02:23

is is like don't wages have sex right? I

1:02:26

have a wet have a baby. right?

1:02:28

Now that puts you in the wedlock

1:02:30

so you can make. More. Jewish

1:02:32

people. Let's for our understand. I

1:02:35

think. I. Don't know. I'm

1:02:38

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