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Brokerage Services LLC member NYSE, SIPC. Call

1:02

from... Jonathan. Hello?

1:07

Oh my goodness. I didn't

1:09

expect to get out. How are you? I'm doing good.

1:11

What's your name? Uh,

1:14

John? Jonathan? Jonathan. Have

1:16

we ever spoken before, Jonathan? Uh,

1:19

no, we have not. Well, Jonathan,

1:21

what's up, man? How can I get you today? What's...

1:23

what's... uh... What's... what's... what's happening?

1:27

Yeah, it's Saturday. I'm

1:30

just hanging around my house here. Um...

1:34

I wanted to talk about alcohol.

1:37

Go ahead, man. Yeah.

1:41

It's very nerve-wracking to be on the call, but

1:43

yeah. So, I think I

1:46

texted you a while ago talking about,

1:48

like, alcohol consumption. Um,

1:50

so I think... I'm

1:52

just gonna spill my brain out. So

1:54

it's something that's kind of... So I... I've

1:58

been drinking age for about seven, eight years. years, you know, I

2:01

never really drank before

2:03

the age of 21. You know, like, I know

2:06

people did it in high school and everything. I

2:08

kind of had the upbringing where

2:10

I didn't really know people

2:12

were actually doing that. So

2:16

the first few times I did actually drink, you know, I

2:18

got super like nervous. But

2:22

eventually, I kind of started

2:25

using it as like an escape mechanism. You

2:27

know what I mean? Like, oh, like

2:30

as before, if I got like, if I would get

2:32

super stressed, for example, I was

2:34

pretty good at like just dealing with it internally.

2:39

But I think what I noticed over

2:42

the years is I kind of use it as a stress

2:44

response. I know

2:46

that's like not the best thing to do. But

2:51

it's hard not to I think, like,

2:53

I'm not at the point of getting

2:56

sick or anything or like being an alcoholic. So

2:59

part of it is just like, it's

3:01

not that bad yet. But you know

3:03

what I mean? You don't have to

3:05

go to AA meetings. But

3:07

I think there

3:10

are like, you know, like, if I'm like,

3:13

way stressed out, it's

3:17

an option where like, I think part of it

3:19

might be like, it wasn't an option before. Because

3:22

it's like a quick and easy way to get

3:25

something off your plate. And

3:28

kind of like get out of your

3:30

head for a bit. So I

3:34

think that is so I

3:37

know that sounds really standard and everything. But I think

3:40

the main thing about it was it feels

3:43

like I'm going down a path. And

3:46

like, I spent kind of half today kind of

3:50

self talking myself like, Oh, because I have no alcohol

3:52

in the house right now. And

3:54

whenever I have no alcohol in the house, I

3:56

kind of think, all right, it's

3:59

up to you. to

4:01

not give in to buying more you know what I

4:03

mean because if I do have it

4:05

in the house I just like just keep drinking it

4:08

and not really be self-aware about like

4:12

oh you have work tomorrow you

4:14

probably should calm down you know what

4:16

are what are some of your triggers

4:18

to drink alcohol what are some things you

4:20

notice are going on before you drink I

4:26

would say boredom is a

4:28

big one or like

4:32

because I don't have a lot of friends

4:35

you know so boredom

4:38

or oh I'm kind of lonely

4:41

let me just do this so I get out of my

4:43

own head about it yeah so

4:46

I would say those two things and

4:50

I know like like saying

4:52

this like stress response like if

4:54

there's like a stressful situation I have

4:56

to do some work that's not really

4:58

as much it's more boredom I would say like yeah

5:00

I've actually had work I have to do that's

5:03

a good distraction which

5:05

is kind of weird it's

5:08

more like on weekends I

5:10

don't have anything to do oh yeah

5:12

how am I gonna spend you know it's like

5:14

oh I have limited free time what's

5:17

that what's that you know I need to

5:19

I think I've said it before what's that

5:21

phrase idle hands belong to the devil it's

5:24

true yeah yeah I definitely

5:27

I mean I you know

5:29

I'll talk to you about this for a little bit I don't

5:31

want to talk too much only because I'm

5:34

not a a

5:36

you know

5:39

I mean it's a well trodden topic addiction

5:41

but I guess use like yeah

5:50

yeah I've been there before where like

5:52

you're just very lonely and so you

5:55

have nothing to do so why not just drink damn

5:57

it I had a thought in my head that I

5:59

that I I fucked up. All

6:01

right. What's stopping you from

6:03

wanting to go to AA? Because

6:08

I feel like that's a good place for you to find community

6:11

and just like help, you know, find other

6:13

people who deal

6:16

with this same issue. That's

6:21

a good question. Not

6:23

bad yet. Maybe, I

6:25

guess maybe in my mind, I'm thinking like it

6:28

has to act like I have to get fired. I have to like, you

6:31

know, get fired from my job because alcohol

6:34

Conception before it gets bad enough to go to AA. Well,

6:37

I don't think it's a question of whether or not it's

6:39

that bad. It's really just a question of do you notice

6:43

that it's a problem in your life?

6:45

Like is your is it

6:47

something you're worried about? Is something that's bothering you?

6:49

And if it is? Yeah,

6:51

no, it is bothering me. It's really good. If

6:54

it's bothering you, then it's something that I think is worth you

7:00

know dealing with. Yeah.

7:06

That's interesting. I guess like in my

7:09

mind, I'm thinking like it's not that bad

7:11

yet. So I

7:13

would be like wasting resources. You know what I

7:15

mean? If I actually did do that. No,

7:17

you know, I don't think you're wasting resources. Yeah.

7:21

Because because and I guess you

7:24

just I mean

7:26

bad or not bad. It's like it's something

7:28

that you're trying to stop doing and if

7:30

it's something you're trying to stop doing then I I

7:37

think it's important to look at the different

7:39

triggers for it, right? Like boredom, loneliness and

7:41

go, okay how can I attack

7:43

my boredom and my loneliness

7:46

in such a way that gets me to stop drinking,

7:49

you know, I mean I feel you man. I have the

7:51

same thing when it comes to eating or getting high or

7:54

a lot of these other things and it's

7:56

really hard. I'm not gonna sit here and

7:59

say it's as easy. easy as fixing your

8:01

loneliness issue because it's a hard fucking

8:03

issue to fix but I

8:05

mean I I would have you

8:08

have you what sort of steps have

8:10

you taken to try to you know

8:12

rein in your boredom and your loneliness I guess

8:19

I just try to keep myself occupied like

8:23

with brainless hobbies so I end up like watching

8:25

a lot of YouTube videos and crap like play

8:28

video games loneliness

8:31

is something that I haven't actually made very

8:34

big attempts to like get over and I

8:37

think with that like it like

8:40

loneliness I would not moment during college for

8:42

example because there are things to do in

8:44

places and meet people so as an adult

8:49

I think I just haven't found like a

8:51

social group or something to like actually go out and

8:53

do that so I'm also

8:59

getting up in my age so I would feel kind

9:02

of weird because I live in a college town so

9:05

I would feel a little bit weird

9:07

trying to go to places and then

9:09

there's people who are like eight years

9:11

younger than me and here's the weird

9:13

old coming to try to make friends

9:16

with you you know so

9:18

I think part of that is like I'm afraid of

9:20

coming off creepy in that regard and

9:23

I know that's like an unreasonable

9:25

like just saying that loud it sounds ridiculous you

9:28

know what I mean but

9:30

I think it's an excuse I found

9:32

myself or

9:35

whatever reason but I think that's like yeah

9:39

I guess maybe it's just a lot of excuses and

9:42

I'm not trying to have like a what with

9:44

me kind of bit

9:48

you know that is that Norm Macdonald joke or

9:50

it's like oh you

9:52

have these bad diseases my disease

9:55

is that I drink a lot I'm an alcoholic you know

9:57

so So

10:00

I guess like that goes back to like

10:02

that. Oh, it's not a real problem yet kind of thing, but

10:05

I guess you

10:07

mentioning Hey, man You

10:10

should find support I guess but like I Guess

10:14

like when you do with huge support Maybe

10:20

it's like oh you're not bad enough to get

10:23

support. I guess have you ever felt that before

10:25

yeah, of course How do you like yeah a

10:27

hundred percent? Yeah, how do you like get over

10:29

that cuz but yeah? I think I

10:31

think that actually is a common thing But

10:33

it's kind of interesting cuz like you'll go to

10:35

you know, whatever maybe you go to a meeting

10:37

and you're like, okay well, I'm not as bad

10:39

as these folks and

10:41

maybe maybe that's helpful in some way,

10:43

but I Just

10:47

don't wait I think the idea

10:49

of like let me wait until

10:51

things are horrible to address the

10:53

issue Is it is it bad?

10:57

you know what I mean like And

11:01

as you're aware of it Like

11:04

I mean try try your best to mitigate it and

11:06

I sincerely man. I wish I could

11:08

be of More

11:11

help to you right now.

11:13

There's a problem. I'm having doing this podcast lately

11:15

is like dude, like

11:17

deal like making friends as an adult and

11:21

Dealing with loneliness and boredom to not do

11:23

your negative behaviors like I I Fucking

11:27

don't know bro. It's a reason really

11:30

hard. It's really goddamn hard. Yeah. Yeah.

11:32

Yeah it is it's really hard, but

11:34

you gotta I Don't

11:37

this I can't just I can't sit here and lecture

11:39

you on how to do it because I don't fucking

11:41

know how but Like

11:44

it's just it's just what you gotta

11:46

you gotta do You

11:49

know, yeah, I guess like drawing parallels

11:51

between like other types of behavior. Yeah,

11:53

you know, it's like a oh you're not the only one Feeling

11:56

crazy. I guess that's like I said, no,

11:59

you're not feeling life is crazy,

12:01

everyone around you is feeling crazy

12:03

and it's your I guess just like

12:07

thing you gotta figure out you

12:09

know so yeah dude

12:12

like best of luck like whatever it is that

12:14

you can find that keeps you occupied

12:17

so that you're not

12:19

getting drunk all the time like never

12:22

give up trying to find it

12:25

like go do eight million different

12:27

things until you find

12:29

it go take a fucking archery

12:31

class and be like alright instead

12:33

of getting drunk I'm gonna shoot a

12:35

bow and arrow like just anything that you can

12:37

do to be out

12:39

of your house around other people

12:42

and not getting fucked up yeah

12:48

yeah maybe that maybe like because I don't really

12:50

have a reason to leave my house because I

12:53

don't do anything right you know I don't have

12:55

any like concrete hobbyist or anything so

12:57

right just leave your house man like

12:59

I mean what day with today's Saturday yeah

13:03

what are you doing what time is it where you are it's

13:07

uh almost six but

13:09

I like what's going on

13:11

yeah I guess dude just

13:13

any I swear to God just anything like

13:17

go for a walk around your neighbor what city you

13:19

live in I live

13:22

in Columbus Ohio you live in Columbus

13:25

Ohio you just had to make this more

13:27

difficult yeah

13:30

there's nothing to do here um

13:33

I guess I could walk outside

13:35

that's actually you could walk outside you

13:37

could walk outside sounds great no because

13:39

here's the thing is it's it kind

13:41

of even comes back to this thing

13:43

of like well it's not that

13:45

bad so I shouldn't get help right are you

13:47

you're you you know you're like you'll

13:50

discount just walking outside

13:52

you could walk even in goddamn Columbus

13:55

Ohio you could just go take a

13:57

hour walk around your fucking neighborhood and

13:59

that's better Even though it's like,

14:01

oh, that's not even really anything. It's like it is something.

14:03

It's better than you're outside of your house you're looking at

14:05

stuff. You're not getting. Yeah. You

14:08

know. That's good.

14:10

I guess like with walking, that's like something

14:13

I have tried walking before. And I

14:16

think just to put it out loud

14:18

to make myself more self-aware. Sometimes

14:21

I do something that's healthy. And

14:23

then I'm like, wow, I did something healthy. Time

14:26

to reward myself. Sure. You

14:28

know? So I guess that's something I have to

14:30

be self-aware about just to say that out loud.

14:33

Sure. But hey, let's maybe

14:36

I just gotta do that. You know? Sure. Well,

14:39

I guess like, I don't know. Just

14:41

talking about it is helpful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To be honest,

14:43

you know? Yeah. Yeah. I...

14:50

Dude, I really would just like go

14:53

make a, just like sit down on your note sap

14:55

or something. Make a list of like as

14:58

many things as you can possibly think

15:00

of that would be nice

15:02

and good to do. I

15:04

don't know, man. They got

15:06

pickleball leagues in

15:09

Columbus, Ohio. They have concerts in Columbus,

15:11

Ohio. I know you can meme on

15:14

Columbus, Ohio endlessly, but they have stuff.

15:16

They have people doing things. Just

15:18

come up with a list of like as

15:21

many things as possible and just

15:24

don't stop trying to get

15:26

out of the house. And

15:29

then let me know if that works. Okay.

15:35

Yeah, that's a good idea. Making a list. Yeah.

15:38

Because just saying I need to do something isn't

15:40

very helpful. I need to

15:42

get concrete about it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

15:45

good advice. And this is good. This is good

15:47

that you're at least trying to work

15:50

on this instead. I think the idea of let me wait

15:54

until my life is in complete ruins. It's

15:57

like the gap. gas

16:01

light is on in your car and

16:03

you're saying, well let me wait until the car

16:06

completely runs out of gas and I'm stranded on

16:08

the highway for me to, you know, fill

16:10

my tank up with gas. Is

16:12

it bad? Yeah, and I think that's

16:14

really good. I think the software industry is good.

16:16

I think

16:19

sometimes I do get into like, oh,

16:22

you know, oh, fuck it. I'm going to die

16:25

anyway. I might as well just do things, you

16:27

know, there's a whole attitude because

16:30

it sometimes takes over my brain. Yeah.

16:35

Yeah, and I really like, I wish I

16:37

had an answer to you for that because,

16:39

I mean, goddamn yesterday I was eating, I

16:43

mean, yeah, dude, I really wish I had an answer

16:45

to this because, goddamn, like yesterday, I'm

16:47

eating a whole pizza and going crazy because

16:49

I'm like, yeah, the same thing you're talking

16:51

about, like, why does anything matter? I'm

16:54

getting existential about things. Yeah. And

16:58

I, like,

17:01

why? Why should you give a shit about not

17:04

getting drunk and why should you try

17:07

to do things with your life? Yeah,

17:11

but like, that does happen.

17:16

Yeah, I mean, yes, you have like,

17:18

it's your, I guess it's your like

17:20

responsibility as a human being to like,

17:22

come up with your own answer to

17:24

that question. That's

17:27

true. Yeah, yeah. And

17:30

if you think hard enough about it, as

17:34

I'm in this moment optimistic for you,

17:38

you'll come up with something. Yeah.

17:43

Well, thank you.

17:45

Yeah, thanks for your optimism. Even,

17:47

I'm optimistic for you even though you

17:49

live in Columbus, Ohio. Yeah, yeah.

17:55

What's your, what's your name again? Jonathan.

17:58

Jonathan is your name. Is there anything else you

18:00

want to say about any of this or say

18:03

at all before we go? Thank

18:08

you for doing the show Seriously

18:13

A lot of people are big fans. Thanks. I'm gonna

18:15

come to a live show eventually, but Seriously,

18:19

thank you for doing the show.

18:21

It's a great comfort. Thanks man. Thanks

18:24

for taking the call. I really did not expect you

18:26

to pick up Go join

18:28

a fucking laser tag. I bet they have

18:30

I bet Laser time.

18:33

Yeah, I bet there's a laser tag

18:36

league Like dumb

18:38

shit like dude I'm like dumbass shit

18:40

where you're like there's no way something

18:42

like that exists and then you go

18:44

online and it exists like go join

18:46

A fucking laser tag league in Columbus,

18:48

Ohio. Yeah, buddy listening to this podcast

18:50

right now It's in a

18:52

laser tag league in Columbus, Ohio or knows

18:54

somebody in a laser tag league So

18:57

I bet that exists I swab Please

18:59

go on Google and search for laser

19:01

tag league Columbus or just like dumb

19:04

fucking shit just anything, you know, just

19:06

anything Yeah That's

19:09

funny Yeah, no Okay,

19:12

I think I'll take a look into that Oh

19:15

man Cool. Well,

19:17

thank you so much. Lyle. Take care. Good

19:20

luck. Good luck here. Thank you so much.

19:22

Bye. Bye. I Like

19:25

that guy I'm with I'm with him dude. I'm with

19:27

him. I get it. I mean I um, so,

19:30

you know, I'm touring a lot lately

19:33

and I've been touring a lot for the

19:35

past like Year

19:37

and a half two years and it's

19:40

been really great because it

19:42

keeps me out

19:44

of the house and Occupied

19:47

and not idle and then what happens is I'll

19:49

go I'll have like a week or two weeks

19:51

or three weeks or a month or so off

19:54

of doing my shows and I'll

19:56

be at home and I'll

19:59

be like Oh no, now I have

20:02

nothing to do and I'm kind of

20:04

paralyzed and that's kind of when, you

20:06

know, for me the existential thoughts come

20:09

in of like, well why the fuck should

20:12

I not, you know, do XYZ destructive

20:15

behavior? Because

20:17

I'm gonna die anyway and who gives a shit? Why

20:20

should I care about making my life better? Why should

20:22

I care about this and that? And, you

20:24

know, that's why for me it was hard to talk

20:27

to Jonathan just now because I have those same thoughts

20:29

and I haven't figured

20:31

out exactly. I have like in theory

20:34

how I'm gonna deal with those thoughts but

20:38

I don't have in concrete like practice

20:40

of how to fucking deal with them. But

20:45

in that theory it's those things. It's like

20:47

why don't I just, you

20:50

know, join a laser tag league or

20:54

some other thing, like why don't I just keep

20:56

trying to figure out different ways to get out

20:59

of my house and go do things so

21:01

that I'm not going insane and

21:03

eating Haribo sour gummy cola bottles

21:06

which are the best candy. So

21:10

yeah, good luck, Jonathan. Let me know if you

21:12

figure something out. And I'm gonna do, I'm gonna

21:14

search that up. I live in a

21:17

major city. I bet they have laser tag

21:19

leagues. Also,

21:22

leaving your house costs a lot of money.

21:24

I guess that's why walking is good, right,

21:27

because it's free to just walk around and it's

21:29

good. And I met what I

21:32

said to Jonathan because I was having these existential crazy

21:34

thoughts last night and what did I do? I just

21:36

walked for two hours. You

21:39

can do that. Isn't that crazy? You can just,

21:41

if you ever look like next

21:44

time you're on the internet and you see

21:46

a tweet that pisses you off or something

21:48

like that or a real, you

21:51

can, at any time, you

21:53

can just put your phone on

21:55

fucking power it off and just go outside

21:57

and walk for two hours. You can just...

21:59

do that any time available to you it's

22:01

free to just do that

22:06

and it's nice it's really nice I'm

22:10

rambling right now but yeah

22:14

that that call it made me

22:16

emotional because it taps into you

22:19

know shit that feels

22:21

very real so I hope we

22:23

get a call back from Jonathan where

22:26

he's the high he's the

22:29

king of the Ohio laser tag

22:31

scene alright thanks for

22:33

calling attention

22:35

listeners of the therapy gecko podcast

22:37

I have new tour dates on

22:39

sale right now at therapy gecko

22:41

tour calm if you're a regular

22:43

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22:47

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the format of the show is

22:54

essentially a group gecko therapy session

22:56

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22:58

on stage to share stuff from

23:00

their lives just like they do

23:02

on this podcast except instead of

23:04

anonymously over the phone it's

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the complete opposite it's it's anonymously

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whatever the opposite of anonymous is

23:11

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26:58

ahh okay. What

27:03

hit me with it? Well

27:07

I find myself looking

27:10

at videos very frequently and

27:12

I find it very hard to control myself and

27:16

it makes me feel very ashamed. How

27:22

often are we looking at videos? Well

27:27

it depends. I've recently

27:29

been trying to quit. I've been

27:31

going for about 10 days

27:33

and then I relapsed. What

27:39

type of videos do I watch? No

27:41

I mean I guess how. I

27:44

didn't ask that but it sounds like you want to talk about it.

27:47

I didn't ask that but it sounds like you want to talk

27:49

about it so I mean if you do go for it. Well

27:53

it's again it's not

27:55

a very pleasant subject.

27:58

I find it very interesting. I've

28:03

been very desensitized to it. I believe I started

28:05

pornography when I was about 14. My

28:10

parents didn't let me use the internet a lot as a kid, and

28:13

so I never really built up the tolerance to

28:15

it. How old are you now? I

28:18

am 20. So

28:23

I don't even know if you answered this. How

28:25

often are you looking at porn? About once

28:30

a day. But

28:34

I am a

28:37

young male, so I'm able to

28:39

go for quite a while. Okay,

28:41

so you're looking at it once a day,

28:43

but you're like for a long time. You're

28:46

going like... For an

28:48

exceptional amount of time, yeah. Okay, alright. And

28:52

let me ask you this. Are

28:56

you... Where

28:59

does the shame come from? Is it like, oh, I

29:01

could have been doing something else with

29:03

my time? Is it like a weird religious

29:06

thing? Is it a, oh, this is gross

29:08

thing? Like, what's going on inside of that

29:10

shame? Well,

29:13

I see it as it's a waste of my

29:15

time, obviously, but it's

29:17

also a, what am

29:19

I doing with my life here? Why

29:22

am I sitting here watching these figures when

29:25

I could be out doing

29:28

something? And that really eats at me because

29:30

I feel like a loser. It's

29:34

weird, man, because look,

29:37

throughout my entire life, and

29:40

to this day, I've been,

29:43

you know, a crazy jackarawfer.

29:46

Big jackarawfer. Big,

29:49

big porn guy. Not so much on

29:52

the porn recently,

29:54

but big jackarawfer. And here's the thing, and

29:56

this is something I don't think about that

29:58

often, is that like... I think in

30:00

life it's like, ideally,

30:03

and this isn't, this is not, I don't want to

30:05

preach about this because this is not how I actually

30:07

live, this is how I'd like to live in theory,

30:09

but like, in theory, ideally, you do things with your

30:11

time that you either, A, are

30:15

fully enjoying with no

30:18

shame, or B, compound

30:20

into things that, like,

30:23

make your life better in the future. And,

30:27

you know, orgasm is a weird thing

30:29

because it's like, you

30:31

enjoy it in the moment, sort

30:34

of, but not if, but like,

30:36

if you're ashamed of it, it's like, you're doing this thing

30:38

that you didn't even really fully enjoy in the moment because

30:41

you were ashamed of it. And,

30:43

you know, it's not like, you know,

30:47

when you are having sex in a relationship where it's like,

30:49

okay, this is actually a thing I'm

30:51

investing in that is compounding, you

30:53

know, in my relationship. So

30:57

it's, I get why you see

31:00

it as a big fucking waste of time, and I look

31:02

back at a lot of the time that I've spent doing

31:05

that as a big fucking waste of time. I

31:09

mean, just a few days ago, dick

31:12

in hand, I was watching porn, and

31:14

I was like, what am I doing with my life? So

31:18

it is a tough, a toughy. I

31:25

mean, yeah, go ahead. It

31:27

seems like another part of me takes over. And

31:30

I can rationalize it, and I can think, what

31:32

am I doing right now? And yet,

31:35

I still do it. And that's a big

31:37

problem for me because I can't

31:41

tell if I'm a bad person for it. I'm

31:44

not intentionally – Hold on.

31:46

What do you

31:48

mean by a bad person? For

31:55

consuming this pornography, as

31:58

opposed to going out there. there

32:00

and meeting people and doing good in

32:02

society. Well,

32:05

I would, I mean the whole thing of

32:07

like bad person, good person. Like

32:09

are you talking about like morally? I

32:12

suppose morally, yeah. I

32:18

don't know if I would be sitting here, casting negative moral

32:20

judgment upon you for jacking off

32:30

when you could be planting trees

32:32

and volunteering in soup kitchens. But

32:36

let's talk about just in the scope of like

32:38

what's going to make your life more enjoyable, right?

32:41

As opposed to like what's morally good and

32:44

what's morally bad. I

32:47

mean what do you want to be doing with your life and with

32:49

yourself? Well

32:51

I'm thinking I might want to become a welder.

32:53

I mean the pay is pretty good and there's

32:55

all these different types and it's a very interesting

32:57

prospect. I'm not sure though. I'm

33:00

trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

33:02

Well hey, you're getting better at polishing swords. Oh

33:05

of course. Alright,

33:08

you didn't think that was funny and it wasn't

33:10

funny. But I mean

33:12

what else would you be doing

33:14

with your time now?

33:20

I don't know. I

33:24

have like no prospects. I

33:26

mean I said the welding thing but I

33:29

don't have a direction in my life and

33:31

I've tried all

33:33

the time. I've gone to people. I've talked to

33:35

like counselors to try and get

33:37

me into a subject but I have a hard

33:40

time figuring stuff out. What

33:42

do the counselors tell you? The

33:47

ones that I've gone to and I've talked to, I'm

33:49

talking about like college counselors. I'm

33:51

trying to figure out classes. And

33:54

I've set a subject like I'm interested

33:56

in technology but I also think that

33:59

I think. A technical job

34:01

is going to be outclassed by a I

34:03

had a few years and so I'm not

34:06

sure if that's what was to commit to.

34:08

I know welding is a thing only forever,

34:10

you know? Do

34:15

you have any friends? Like are you?

34:17

Has your social life. My

34:20

social life is pretty earth for

34:22

a destitute. I mean, I have.

34:24

I'm a pretty isolated person, I

34:26

live pretty far out of town

34:28

and I I talk to people

34:30

with high school. But.

34:33

I didn't like stay after class

34:36

and do activities. And

34:38

I ever. I haven't really had a lot

34:40

of friends per se, I had online friends,

34:42

but. That's a whole

34:44

other story, but not like physical and

34:46

on like in person friends, that more

34:48

like acquaintances. Or

34:53

zoom in. A lot of the stuff

34:55

is just like. Symptom.

34:59

Like. A. Lot of the stuff

35:02

as his symptoms of other areas

35:04

in life being like com a

35:06

lackluster. And it's a

35:08

tall order to go. Okay, we'll

35:11

go build a social life and

35:13

go find a vocation and ah,

35:15

you know, get your shit together.

35:18

right? It's a tall order. The ah

35:20

the you never even really quite

35:22

feel as is a process like

35:25

a leaky bucket. I

35:30

mean, I look as do that. Have you been to

35:32

a real therapist to talk about any of this? No.

35:37

I haven't. And I think that

35:39

it would. I know it's stupid to think this

35:41

way, but I think it would make me we'd

35:44

years of person. That. Because admitting that

35:46

I can't handle the some my. under

35:55

that's illogical obviously i'm not a

35:57

weaker person for asking for help

35:59

But that's what I feel. Yeah,

36:12

I'm stuck, man. I

36:15

mean, I can't sit here and tell you I

36:17

haven't felt the same. I

36:22

mean, COVID made everything worse, man. It was my

36:24

last two years of high school, and then I

36:27

didn't get to see anybody for two years. It was solid.

36:31

I just made everything worse. I accentuated the

36:33

whole situation. Why don't

36:35

you – I mean, I'll tell you the same thing I

36:37

told the last guy, man. It's like, why don't you just

36:39

do things that get you out of your house? Do you

36:41

live in a college camp? Do you live

36:44

in a college place? Do you live – are

36:46

you in school? No,

36:50

I live at my parents' house. Okay.

36:53

That was – that's fun to admit.

36:56

There's nothing wrong with that. What is – what can

36:58

you do to get yourself out of the house and

37:00

with other people? Well,

37:04

I've been going to the gym. I've been talking to

37:06

people there. I met an old guy there, taught me

37:08

how to do some workout

37:11

stuff. I mean, I was

37:13

overweight for most of my childhood, so I was

37:15

very socially stunted.

37:18

I felt like I wasn't deserving of love, I suppose.

37:26

Wow, I'm theorizing myself here. Are

37:31

you learning anything as you're theorizing yourself?

37:35

I think so. I think that experiences

37:38

make the person, and I

37:41

think that I need to get out probably more

37:43

and meet more

37:45

people and build my brain to tolerate

37:50

people more, as opposed to just

37:52

retreating into my safe space, because I think that

37:55

it's probably a comfort thing, right, where

37:58

– I

38:00

do it because I'm stressed and

38:03

I feel like this is the only way to

38:05

unstress myself. Yeah,

38:12

I mean, dude, it fucking goes – it

38:15

really fucking goes back to what we

38:17

were just talking about of

38:19

like you retreat into your

38:21

comfort zone because you get those existential thoughts

38:24

of like, well, what's the point of like

38:26

building my life or making it better? And

38:29

everyone has their own way of getting past

38:31

those existential thoughts. Some people go through life

38:34

lucky enough to never have any of that

38:36

shit pop into their brain just because things

38:39

magically worked out, and other people

38:42

struggle with it immensely and never figure it

38:44

out. But I mean,

38:49

you just got to find

38:51

your own reason

38:55

to do it. And you're

38:58

so young, it's like just to

39:01

leave your house just for the sake of leaving

39:03

your house. I mean, you give a shit enough

39:05

to call me and want to talk about this

39:07

stuff, right? So – Bro!

39:42

Fuck, man. Fuck. Just

39:45

get out of the house, man. Just get out of the

39:47

house however you can. Just go for a walk. Go

39:53

for a walk. Well, that does – that

39:55

supposedly makes you happy according to the internet,

39:57

so maybe That's the start of it.

40:00

The Asian this get out there and walk more. The

40:03

she trailed him, house filled it up. Did

40:07

kinda. I'm gonna drop something here real

40:09

quick just for the listeners for and

40:11

people have this might be a controversial

40:14

thing to say but I'm I've actually

40:16

been getting a lot. This is real

40:18

like I've actually been getting like a

40:20

lot of mileage. Offers.

40:22

I'm typing my problems and did said

40:24

T P T Chatty Be T is

40:26

like a crazy good therapist. Have you

40:28

ever on, have you ever given that

40:31

a shot? By. Ah a

40:33

good actually does come up with

40:35

like pretty fuckin they do. You

40:37

can't afford therapy or they use

40:39

need something right fucking now and

40:41

actually have done this is Canada's

40:43

what I do now. He gets

40:45

it, Gives you pretty good. objective,

40:48

logical feedback if you need just

40:50

a little some and the moment.

40:54

To. Access It system works. It just takes

40:56

information from the edit files into a.

40:59

Coherent answer Ransom like down a high

41:01

as shit works. but. That's.

41:04

The set that's the therapy gecko

41:06

saying have you tried asking cat

41:08

C B T instead. That.

41:11

Is so dystopian asking it's an Ai

41:13

about your your problems bro It's so

41:15

weird because it went away because the

41:17

it's so weird for a i mean

41:19

you're talking to me right now and

41:21

it's like the ai works better than

41:23

a human sometimes. All

41:27

it doesn't have that. That

41:29

human element is just purely logical. Maybe

41:31

that would be a. Slightly.

41:34

Better stuff. But that's correct. that's a dogma

41:36

to go down. They get about like that.

41:39

Has been a few months for a lot of stuff

41:41

that stuff at the companies are thinking never they are

41:43

a good as robocalls things. Are you call

41:45

him avenue to talk to somebody? But it's it's it's. A

41:48

robot. Yeah. Yeah.

41:51

Get through that oblong about I'm sure people are

41:53

getting a madman Be like will you tell people

41:55

that put their branches literally saying. My

41:59

personal anecdote. I'm.

42:01

Of of this shit. but anyway.

42:04

I mean. What are

42:06

at all? I'm it before I kick yeah to here.

42:08

I mean. Is. There

42:10

any other way that this phone call can

42:12

be helpful to you before we go. Any

42:14

thing else that that maybe I can try

42:16

to help you with. No,

42:20

But I too have one more

42:22

thing to say. Yeah, I'm.

42:25

I don't know if you're interested in losing weight at

42:27

all while I don't think you are it, but if

42:30

you are, are you from? I feel better about yourself.

42:32

Okay. I'm not doing

42:34

Aca ad. Rates here and it's I would add

42:36

or is I was doing. Gotta do every other.

42:38

Yeah oh this is just my experience. What happened

42:40

me? I. Tried the carnival were

42:42

diet where you just like eaten and

42:44

he only eat salt and butter. And

42:48

I lost fifty pounds, right? I didn't even really

42:50

work out. And then I started to out because

42:52

I felt, yeah, I. Mean it's the

42:55

key energetic diet I am. I really

42:57

don't want to talk about this shit

42:59

on here because I do not know

43:01

when I am talking about in. Even

43:03

in the mental health realm, let alone in

43:06

the physical health rome. But I mean yeah,

43:08

when you eat. Just. Protein I'm

43:10

not like are it was either Yemen, the Alexander when

43:12

you eat when I'm just say it worked for me.

43:15

When. You eat? nope haven't yet when you eat

43:17

all protein and carbs. He was definitely lose weight.

43:23

Or whatever it is a a a

43:25

breathless ah I thank you for talking

43:27

without are not Kyle while. I

43:29

really appreciate that. I'm from. Someone

43:31

attacked him. Gonna. Have this was.

43:34

This was helpful because I really I

43:36

said this a thousand times, but I

43:38

really am having a hard time with

43:40

lights. Visa Advice: how do I deal

43:42

with. The. The woes of

43:44

life calls because I'd I really?

43:46

I struggle with and I myself

43:48

am. I don't know, but I

43:50

hope this commiseration was helpful in

43:52

any way. Shape or form. What's

43:54

your name again? I'm

43:58

call me Richard were rich. Rich,

44:00

thanks for calling Rich. Good luck. Thanks

44:11

man. I appreciate it. Take

44:14

care. Yeah man, it's hard because

44:16

I really do, I try to, I think of this

44:18

podcast not really as like a advice show. I

44:20

look at it more as like a

44:23

human interest story

44:25

show because I'm more interested

44:28

in having people come on here and I'm

44:30

kind of learning about their

44:32

lives and what's going on

44:34

with them. And experiencing

44:38

the world through these

44:42

quasi-anonymous just

44:44

accounts of life. Like I think that that's interesting.

44:46

That's more interesting to me than

44:48

like here's advice from a guy who fucking

44:50

has no idea what he's doing. But

44:55

I mean, you know, I

44:57

try. I'll try my best. I'll try my best

45:00

and just, you know, ruin people's

45:03

lives by telling them to

45:05

take the advice of an AI computer. But

45:09

yeah, whatever man. Thanks for calling. I hope

45:12

everything works out. Hey

45:15

folks, this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Therapy

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Hello! Hello! Has.

47:33

Got. Good. So this

47:35

is I'm just real quick ominous. give

47:37

some context. so this is I don't

47:39

usually do this. In fact, I've.

47:41

Never done this. But I'm

47:43

gonna do this. right? Now so

47:45

this is this is may have right. Yeah.

47:49

So. Of our get it, this

47:51

is my first I. Our four years

47:54

of doing the show is my first

47:56

intentional follow up call. For. the previous

47:58

call or may view of color who

48:01

a few weeks ago talked

48:03

about wanting how you

48:05

were thinking about whether or not you were going to date this

48:07

felon right yes

48:11

okay and how

48:13

how did that go for you

48:17

okay so we were talking on

48:19

FaceTime this is one of the

48:22

first times we really FaceTime and

48:24

he had his shirt off and

48:26

I'm nowhere on his shoulder I

48:29

see a goddamn swastika tattoo and

48:32

so obviously I was like hey

48:34

what I think it is

48:37

and he was like yeah I did

48:39

it to myself in prison and I

48:41

was like okay um I

48:43

can't do this and he tried

48:46

to say no it's um it's

48:48

not what you think it means

48:51

it's a Norse mythology

48:53

symbol that the

48:56

meaning was taken away but it means

48:58

brotherhood and all of this stuff I

49:00

was like no no I'm not I

49:02

don't care what you think it means

49:05

that's just not okay that's

49:09

almost as bad as the monster energy

49:11

tattoo I

49:14

agree with that it's close so

49:17

real quick are you gonna keep dating him no

49:21

no of course not I blocked him on

49:24

everything absolutely well Maeve

49:26

thanks for giving us an update I

49:28

hope that you find somebody with like

49:31

follow find a guy with a nice like

49:33

Mickey Mouse tattoo or something I agree

49:37

with that thanks for following up all

49:39

right take care of me you

49:42

too bye bye hello

49:50

hello what is your name my name

49:53

is Amy Amy what's

49:55

going on Amy how how can

49:57

I be a lizard on

49:59

the phone for you today. Okay.

50:06

I'm really excited because I didn't think that you were

50:08

going to answer, so I'm very nervous. Nah,

50:11

don't be nervous. It's just we're just

50:13

two human beings. Well I guess

50:15

I'm a, you're a human being and I'm a lizard,

50:18

but we're just, we're just talking on the phone,

50:20

man. What's up? Okay.

50:22

All right. So,

50:24

I wanted to talk to you about something because

50:26

I kind of wanted a little bit of advice. Okay.

50:29

Okay. So, well, okay.

50:34

So, you had gotten what I had texted you, right? No,

50:38

I have no context. Let's start

50:40

from nothing. Okay.

50:45

So, I feel like I have a little

50:47

bit of an issue and my

50:49

issue is this, okay? So, I

50:52

feel like I've been through a lot in

50:54

my life, okay? Like I've kind of had

50:56

a little bit of a hard upbringing. It's

50:58

very difficult upbringing and

51:01

I feel like because of that, the

51:04

way that I behave in

51:06

my relationship dynamic

51:09

is really detrimental

51:12

to the possible like success

51:14

of this relationship. I feel

51:16

like I sabotage things sometimes

51:19

and I kind of like self-diagnose

51:22

myself with like a potential mental

51:24

disorder of like a plethora

51:26

of them. But obviously,

51:28

you know, I haven't went to like

51:31

an actual professional. So, I don't know

51:33

if, you know, my diagnoses

51:35

are correct. I'd assume they're probably not.

51:38

But I guess my question

51:40

is like, how

51:43

could I be less problematic

51:49

in my relationship dynamic so

51:52

that I can have one

51:55

that is healthy? Because when

51:57

I get in moments where I feel like I'm being

51:59

overly emotional, about something, it's hard for me

52:01

to rationalize

52:04

actually approaching a situation in

52:07

a healthy way, and I

52:09

usually just take the negative

52:12

road. Listen,

52:15

I'm happy to talk

52:18

to you about this just as

52:21

a random stranger

52:23

on the internet, but before

52:26

I do talk to

52:28

you about this within that

52:30

context, you

52:33

say that you've self-diagnosed yourself

52:35

with a mental disorder. Is

52:37

this something that you've talked to

52:40

actual therapists

52:42

and psychiatrists about? I

52:47

have went to a therapist once

52:49

before, and he was pretty

52:52

terrible. We just didn't

52:55

really... I was trying to

52:57

explain to him all of these destructive

52:59

behaviorisms that I have, and he

53:03

was just not acknowledging them, and it

53:05

made me feel like, how

53:07

do I explain this? He kept making

53:09

it seem like the things

53:11

I was bringing up were things that were

53:13

not a big deal,

53:16

but in my head, I was like, dude,

53:18

you don't understand. I feel like

53:20

I'm not being the best partner, and

53:22

I'm very much so aware of that.

53:24

You know what I mean? It was

53:27

brushed off now. You know what? Yeah,

53:31

I'm down to talk to you about it, but I just wanted to make

53:33

sure that I am not the first

53:37

line of defense. Oh,

53:40

totally. Okay. So,

53:43

I mean, what

53:46

are these behaviors that you say are

53:48

destructive to your relationships? I

53:52

feel like

53:55

sometimes when I have a situation where we

53:57

are not seeing eye to eye, I feel

54:00

Like I've become like overly emotional about

54:02

it. And instead

54:04

of me understanding like his perspective,

54:06

I feel like I'm being very

54:08

vague. Instead of me

54:10

understanding his perspective, I like kind of

54:12

create things in my mind that

54:15

he would, is potentially doing

54:18

towards me. But I don't,

54:20

it's like, it's not that he

54:23

actually is, it's just I'm so overly emotional that

54:25

I'm jumping to a bunch of conclusions in my

54:27

head. And then those, you know what I

54:29

mean? Yeah. And then

54:31

those conclusions seem like real. You

54:36

know what I mean? So look, the reason why you should

54:39

talk to a real therapist at

54:41

all, like we can talk about, but the reason why you

54:44

start to real therapists is because like a

54:47

real therapist will probably be able to

54:49

tell you like, okay, you probably feel

54:51

this way because of this thing that

54:53

happened. I've seen this a hundred times.

54:55

Here's what you should do based on

54:57

the research that I have on this,

54:59

blah, blah, blah. So you should do

55:01

that. But I

55:03

mean, from my dumb ass perspective, it's

55:06

like, if you're

55:08

talking about the conclusions of

55:11

what, you just can't conclude

55:18

what another person might

55:21

be thinking or feeling or

55:23

planning or any of that stuff. All

55:26

you can do is

55:29

talk to them. And

55:31

if you wanna choose not to

55:33

believe them or

55:36

to believe them, it's like, I

55:39

mean, all you can do is

55:41

communicate with this person. Right?

55:45

So if you think that this, go ahead.

55:47

What were you gonna

55:49

say? Do you think that like, okay.

55:52

So like how you had just said like, if you

55:54

don't believe them, right? Like you asked them and they're

55:56

like, I'm not doing that. And you're like, in

55:59

your head, you're like, yeah, you are. Is that

56:02

like kind of a little – that's like a little

56:04

weird, right? Because like you should be able to –

56:07

like how am I going to be able

56:09

to tell someone else if they're

56:11

being honest or transparent? It's not like

56:13

I'm a mind reader. So like

56:16

why would I assume that they're

56:18

just lying to me? I –

56:20

you know what? That's actually – that's an interesting thing

56:22

to think about. I kind of think

56:28

a working theory with

56:31

this is like look – because

56:34

it's all on you, right? I mean you're not

56:36

– you can't control other people, whether or not

56:38

other people are going to lie to you or

56:40

not. But you can – but you can be

56:42

like look,

56:47

I'm going to decide for

56:50

myself that

56:52

I'm going to believe what this person

56:54

is telling me at face value. And

56:57

if I find out later that

56:59

this person was

57:02

lying to me, I accept that as

57:05

a risk of my decision.

57:08

And I'm making this decision because

57:11

I think

57:14

it'll make my life better and

57:18

because I know what

57:20

it's like in the past to

57:22

have been walking around not

57:24

trusting anyone, being super paranoid,

57:29

and not being able to trust

57:31

anyone. And I don't like how that made me

57:33

feel and I don't like that lifestyle. So

57:36

I'm going to decide to be

57:39

less like that. And

57:42

if – again, if I find out later that it

57:45

– I was wrong, I accept

57:48

that as a risk that I'm willing

57:51

to take because I want to be

57:53

less paranoid and I want to be

57:55

happier and have less anxiety. That's

57:58

just a theory that I have. And I

58:01

don't know if that I don't know what I said resident I

58:03

don't know if what I said resonates with you, but if it

58:05

does that's that's you know kind of how I think about it

58:09

Yes, that actually does read that

58:11

was perfect because the reason why I feel

58:13

like what you said was like spot-on Because

58:16

this morning I tried to start some bullshit

58:18

right so like we got into an argument

58:20

last night And I wanted to roll it

58:22

over until like the next day and like

58:25

kind of like start where we left off

58:27

in a way And continue on the bullshit

58:29

and so what he had said to me was okay Like

58:32

you're like essentially like you're gonna start

58:34

you're starting this day off already shitty

58:36

like you're choosing So so

58:38

this day can I interject for

58:40

like a second so like when you? Like

58:44

very very briefly tell me what was

58:46

the argument about? It's

58:50

so stupid um okay, so Fucking

58:54

stupid all right, so basically we

58:56

had moved into a neighborhood And

58:59

I have social anxiety and

59:01

so I kind of wanted to like meet

59:03

my neighbors and stuff like that But I

59:06

kind of had a plan on how I wanted

59:08

to introduce myself And it was like an inclusion

59:10

with him like I was like oh Maybe

59:13

we can get some cupcakes and like bring them

59:15

over and say like hi my name is this

59:17

my name is that whatever and like We can

59:19

form a bond right So basically

59:21

what had happened is he had met the

59:24

neighbors like without me right and so my

59:26

feelings were hurt because now I felt Like

59:28

oh he has cultivated a relationship with

59:30

these people and instead of us

59:33

going with my idea He

59:35

took it upon himself to go and like

59:37

introduce himself and meet these people without me

59:39

And so I kind of felt a little

59:42

bit slighted my feelings were hurt and so

59:44

like yesterday specifically he was like

59:46

outside like doing yard stuff just like normal shit and

59:49

The neighbor he was like talking to him and stuff like

59:52

that and they were all like you know Going back and

59:54

forth and talking and I felt really left out like I

59:56

heard them talking and I like hurt my feelings And it

59:58

brought up the the same Anger that

1:00:00

I had the day I found out

1:00:03

that he like went introduced himself without

1:00:05

me and I don't know dude

1:00:07

Like I was like sitting there and I was like feeling

1:00:09

how I felt right and I like got all I was

1:00:11

getting hot and like My heart was beating all fast and

1:00:13

I felt really angry and I didn't know why Like

1:00:16

I felt like maybe this is like a trauma

1:00:18

response from like when I was younger Maybe feeling

1:00:20

like left out or like included or like being

1:00:23

alone And so like I'm kind of

1:00:25

trying to like navigate that share right now because that's what I

1:00:27

feel like is being heard So I

1:00:29

know it's stupid. So I

1:00:34

Have a couple thoughts on this is like

1:00:36

one win So when you're when

1:00:38

you did made that decision you okay

1:00:40

I'm gonna roll over this argument is

1:00:42

like I think any time any time

1:00:44

you're like in an argument Like

1:00:49

if I were you I would think to myself like what am

1:00:51

I what am I trying to serve right now? Because

1:00:54

mm-hmm like if you're in an argument and

1:00:56

you're screaming at somebody and you're like, let

1:00:59

me bring this up Let me bring that

1:01:01

up learning that up like a lot of

1:01:03

times like if you really examine it you're

1:01:05

serving Your anger

1:01:08

you're just serving Like

1:01:12

vindication and anger which is

1:01:14

not Actually

1:01:16

helpful to you in your goals because really you're

1:01:19

I mean in this situation Specifically

1:01:21

your goal is to like you want

1:01:23

to overcome Your

1:01:25

social anxiety because it

1:01:27

you know, it'll make your life better And

1:01:31

I I do think you

1:01:34

you know this

1:01:37

thing of like your husband like introduced himself

1:01:39

to the neighbors without you and

1:01:41

like You

1:01:43

know you're sitting you're in you're in your and I feel

1:01:46

for you because in your head you recognize

1:01:48

you're like This is ridiculous. Why do I feel this

1:01:50

way? I feel bad that I even feel this way

1:01:54

And I think that's a good thing to

1:01:56

recognize and on top of that just recognize

1:01:58

that like Okay, my journey

1:02:00

to overcoming my social anxiety is

1:02:05

my own responsibility.

1:02:08

And it's not my husband's fault.

1:02:13

Like it's on me to be like,

1:02:16

okay, I got to summon the thing

1:02:19

of like, let me just go over

1:02:21

there and say what's up. Right.

1:02:24

My neighbors like and my, and

1:02:26

my husband is not in between me. And

1:02:29

summoning the courage to go do

1:02:32

that. And

1:02:34

so I think just breaking every

1:02:36

fucking thing down into what

1:02:39

is my goal and what's going to help me

1:02:41

get there and everything else

1:02:44

is complete fucking bullshit. You

1:02:46

know, everything else is

1:02:48

everything else is really what's in the way.

1:02:50

It's not my husband's in the way. It's

1:02:52

like me trying to serve anger and

1:02:54

vindication and all these things by

1:02:56

like yelling or bringing arguments up.

1:02:59

It doesn't actually serve

1:03:02

my real goal, which

1:03:04

is to overcome my social anxiety, to

1:03:07

make my relationships better and to be

1:03:09

happier. And

1:03:12

when you, when you frame it and you're talking to your

1:03:14

husband and you're saying all these things, you're like, okay, what's

1:03:16

actually gonna make my

1:03:18

life better? And what's gonna make my

1:03:20

life better is figuring out how

1:03:23

am I going to summon the courage

1:03:25

that's needed to go

1:03:27

next door and say, what's up to

1:03:30

my neighbors? And then, and when you're

1:03:32

sitting there like yelling at your husband's

1:03:35

because he went and

1:03:39

you know, introduce himself to the neighbors without you, it's

1:03:41

like, you're kind of, you're so

1:03:43

far off from

1:03:46

where you actually want to be

1:03:48

to serve your goals.

1:03:51

Does that make sense? Is that fair? Does

1:03:53

that resonate? Yeah, that's fair. Yeah,

1:03:56

that's fair. Yeah,

1:04:02

that makes sense. That's

1:04:07

interesting. I feel

1:04:10

like an asshole. Well,

1:04:12

look, I mean, does feeling

1:04:15

like, I mean, even right now, does

1:04:17

feeling like an asshole serve your

1:04:20

goals? Or is it just going to

1:04:22

be you beating yourself up further, which will

1:04:24

get you further into your emotions, and then you'll further,

1:04:26

you know, go

1:04:28

into vindictiveness? Like, you

1:04:32

know what I mean? Like

1:04:35

beating yourself up, does beating yourself up serve

1:04:38

your goals of improving your relationships,

1:04:40

being happier, and overcoming your social

1:04:42

anxiety? And if

1:04:44

you, I think the answer is no. So

1:04:47

I would just, every step you take

1:04:49

moving forward, be like, okay, how is

1:04:53

this going to serve my

1:04:55

underlying goals, you know?

1:05:00

Yeah, that actually, that's, yeah,

1:05:02

that was really good advice,

1:05:04

actually. Yeah.

1:05:11

Well, is

1:05:15

there, is there, that was cool.

1:05:17

That was actually one of the first times in a while I felt

1:05:19

like I gave good

1:05:22

advice on this podcast, so I'm

1:05:24

stoked about that. No,

1:05:26

I listen to you all the time. You give

1:05:29

great advice. I had no idea

1:05:31

what this call was going to be. I

1:05:33

didn't have any expectations. I didn't even know

1:05:35

if you were going to call me, but

1:05:37

that was great advice, yeah. You

1:05:39

do a really good job, just in general, but like this

1:05:41

was very helpful to me. Thanks, man.

1:05:43

I'm trying. I felt pretty locked in

1:05:45

just now. Yeah, you were locked in.

1:05:47

Yeah, you were. I felt pretty locked in. I felt

1:05:50

pretty locked in. All right, cool. This was actually almost, I

1:05:52

think this was actually even more helpful to me than

1:05:54

to you, so thank you for calling me. You're

1:05:57

welcome. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the

1:05:59

computer before we start? go? No,

1:06:02

I don't really have much

1:06:04

to provide. I just think that, I don't know, if I

1:06:07

were to give anything it would be like, I

1:06:09

don't know, just don't let your negative thoughts

1:06:11

consume you, I guess. Sometimes we're really far

1:06:13

off with like the reality of the situation.

1:06:16

I don't fucking know. Yeah, that's

1:06:19

what I think. Well, take

1:06:21

care and good luck talking

1:06:24

to the neighbors. Thanks.

1:06:27

Alright, take care man. You

1:06:30

too, bye. Go

1:06:50

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