2:00

Our first story is one like that. It's one

2:02

of those stories, you know, how people, you know,

2:04

have their greatest hits stories of things

2:07

that happen to them. We went on

2:09

a massive search for stories like that from all over

2:11

the country, and this is one of the stories like

2:13

that that we found. It happened to this actor named

2:15

Tate Donovan. He's known to our producer, Starley Kine.

2:17

He was at one night going to a Broadway play

2:20

with a friend, being treated in this way.

2:22

He never gets treated. We're

2:24

sitting around waiting for it to

2:26

start, and I'm not a

2:29

very – I'm not a sort

2:31

of recognizable actor. I'm an actor who works, but

2:34

I never get recognized. So all

2:36

of a sudden, like, you know, the 10 minutes

2:38

we're sitting there for it to start, you know,

2:41

three or four people come up to me and

2:43

recognize me. I mean, they know exactly who I

2:45

am, and they

2:47

are recording lines from a television show

2:49

I was on, and I'm like, hey,

2:51

you were Joshua on Friends. I've

2:54

always admired stars who are really gracious, you know. So

2:56

you always think, you know, that's what I want to

2:58

be. I want to be really friendly when I'm famous.

3:00

So I wanted to be friendly and

3:02

sweet and go out to the people. They don't have

3:04

to come to me all the time. So

3:07

for like a little window of time, though, you

3:09

were exactly the kind of celebrity that you wanted

3:11

to always be. You were gracious and reserved. Yeah,

3:14

and warm, you know what I mean? I wasn't like

3:16

one of these distant celebrities. You know, I was like,

3:18

hey, I was genuine. Like, they all left thinking, that

3:20

guy's a really great guy, you know. He's like so

3:22

sweet, you know. I was exactly how

3:24

I wanted to be. I was doing it. I

3:26

was doing great. And then

3:28

the kid with the

3:31

camera came along. I'm

3:38

nervous kid. I must have been 16 years

3:40

old. He's in a rented tuxedo, unbelievably

3:43

like shy and awkward.

3:46

And he's got like acne and he's got

3:48

a camera in his hand. And underneath

3:51

the marquee is his date, who

3:53

is literally like a prom dress.

3:56

She's got a corsage and

3:58

she's really, you know, nervous. and

4:00

sort of clutching her hands and he sort

4:03

of comes up to me and he sort of mumbles, you

4:05

know, something like, you know, something about a picture.

4:08

And I'm like, I just feel for him.

4:10

So I'm like, oh, absolutely. My gosh, sure.

4:12

I have no problem. My God, you poor

4:14

thing. And I go up to his

4:17

girlfriend and I wrap my arms around her and I'm

4:19

like, hey, where are you from? Fantastic

4:21

guy. I'm going to see the play. That's

4:23

great. And the guy is sort of

4:25

not taking the photograph very quickly. He's just sort of

4:27

staring at me and he's got his camera in his

4:29

hands and it's down by his like chin, you know,

4:32

and she's very stiff and

4:34

awkward. And I don't know what

4:36

to do. So I just lean across and I kiss

4:39

her on the cheek and

4:41

I'm like, all right, come on, take the picture. Hurry

4:44

up. And finally he sort of like snaps it and

4:47

I'm like, okay, it was really wonderful

4:49

to meet you. And he just like

4:51

stammered over to me and was like, um,

4:56

could you take a picture of her? Can you take a picture

4:59

of us? And the whole time he just

5:01

wanted me to take a picture of him and his

5:04

girlfriend underneath the awning of the play. He

5:06

didn't want a picture of me. He had no idea who I was.

5:10

Oh God. They

5:22

were in shock. I don't think they'd ever come

5:24

across a human being. I

5:26

mean, could you imagine you asked someone to take a

5:28

picture and you just get in it yourself and kiss

5:30

them. Hey

5:38

Donovan, Starly kind right

5:41

now you can catch him with Paul Giamatti in

5:43

his latest movie, the holdovers act

5:46

to know. Of course I know you. One

5:49

of the things that was really interesting about putting this show together

5:52

was going to some of our regular contributors

5:54

and commissioning stories that were just two or

5:56

three minutes long for people who normally write

5:58

stories that are like. ten times that length.

6:01

This next story is an example of that from

6:04

Sky Carrier in Salt Lake City. I

6:30

know I know her, or

6:32

used to know her. Somehow she

6:34

was very important to me. She

6:36

helped me out in a time of trouble. She

6:39

used to roll her eyes. I'd

6:41

say something dumb and she'd roll her

6:43

eyes and get me something I needed,

6:46

even though she didn't have to. Maybe

6:49

she works in the library, or

6:51

the county recorder's office, or

6:53

at the newspaper. I think

6:56

I may have been in love with

6:58

her. No, she's too

7:00

young. I was never in love with her. Not

7:02

in that way. It's just that

7:04

I wanted something, needed something,

7:07

and she was able to give it to me, almost out

7:09

of the goodness of her heart. And

7:11

now I can't even remember who

7:14

she is. I'm sick. I'm old.

7:16

I should just walk out into traffic and kill

7:18

myself. At

7:21

home, at night, I go to sleep

7:23

searching for the lost memory. Did

7:25

I meet her down by the river in a canoe? Or

7:28

was it on a ferry in southeastern Alaska?

7:32

Or at the Foreign Correspondence Club in

7:34

Phnom Penh along the Mekong? She

7:38

has something to do with water, life,

7:41

and mud. I

7:48

sleep poorly, turning, and maybe even

7:51

groaning in anguish. I

7:53

don't care about the woman anymore. I'm

7:55

worried for myself. I feel

7:57

as if there's a black hole in my

7:59

brain and slow down. Slowly but surely it's

8:01

swallowing all the memories of my love. I

8:05

get up at five thirty and drive to work in

8:07

the dark. I feel terrible.

8:09

I look like a piece of gum in the gutter.

8:12

I pull into Java Jo's to get some chemical

8:14

help. And there she is, behind

8:17

the drive up window. I

8:19

want to tell her I love her, but I

8:22

don't because it would be too weird. All

8:24

I can say is, wow, and

8:27

she rolls her eyes and gets me my cup

8:29

of coffee. Scott

8:31

Carrier, Zolic City. You

8:37

can find him writing this month at Mother Jones Magazine

8:39

where he wrote the cover story about Utah

8:41

Republicans finally trying to do something to fix

8:43

the great Zolic. Act

8:49

Three. It's commerce that brings us

8:51

together. In 1997

8:53

Susan Drury and her husband moved to

8:55

rural Tennessee, not too far from the

8:57

Alabama line. They were attached

9:00

to the local radio station. We

9:02

couldn't really get any other radio stations at

9:04

the house, but WKSR has a lot going

9:06

for it. The way they read

9:08

the obituaries on the air, the way people call

9:10

in during the tornado to tell everybody they're okay

9:12

and where the roads are flooded, the ads from

9:15

the same downtown stores over and over and over.

9:18

And then there's the show we like best. Here

9:20

we go. It's time once again for another edition

9:23

of us swap and shop here on WKSR. Swap

9:26

and shop is a low tech personable sort

9:28

of eBay. It's not fancy or particularly well

9:31

produced or anything. It's just a show

9:33

where people call in to say what they want to sell

9:35

or buy or give away. They give their

9:37

phone number and that's it. Swap

9:40

and shop, good morning. Good

9:42

morning. I have a couch for sale.

9:44

I need to advertise. Okay. It's

9:47

a lane recliner couch. It's

9:49

six weeks old. It

9:52

listed for $11.40 and I'll sell it for $600. We've

9:56

just got one too many. Okay. And

9:59

your phone number. 468-2524. Alright,

10:03

so thank you for calling. Thank you. Have

10:05

a good day. You too. There's a couch for sale at

10:07

468-2524. The

10:10

show is hosted by a guy named Don

10:12

Eastep, and he almost never comments on anything

10:14

people are trying to buy or sell. He's

10:17

like a lot of my neighbors, particularly the men. The

10:20

attitude is, your business is your business.

10:23

There's no shame in tough times, and nobody

10:25

turns themselves inside out to tell you everything.

10:28

Yes, I have for sale a table

10:30

and chairs, a microwave, and

10:32

a washer, and

10:35

a bedroom suit, and I also want to

10:37

buy a car. A small

10:39

car. Okay, is the table

10:41

and chairs? Mostly, you're just

10:43

left to wonder about the story behind these

10:45

things. You don't get too many answers. Swappin'

10:48

chomp, good morning. Yes,

10:50

sir. I'd like to buy a used

10:52

trampoline. Doesn't matter what shape it's in

10:54

or if it even has a tarp on it or not.

10:58

And my telephone number is 629. Swappin'

11:01

chomp is not unique to this station. Local

11:04

stations across the country have these radio classifieds

11:06

type shows. WKSR's version

11:08

has a regular segment called The Dog Gone

11:10

Show. Folks have found

11:12

a black, white, and brown young

11:15

female beagle with a white tip

11:17

on its tail, and more

11:19

than likely a family pet if

11:22

you'll call 565-4505 is that number. Also,

11:30

four cows have been found,

11:32

and if you think they might belong to you... That

11:35

first winter in our house, we had no heat,

11:37

which we thought was adventurous, but was in fact

11:39

just cold. And when we heard a lady

11:41

call in with an ugly but functional wood stove for sale for

11:43

$75, we called her. We

11:46

got it, and we were thirsty. Hey,

11:50

Don, that little black and brown and white

11:52

beagle with a tip on her tail that

11:54

we found, well, we lost her. So you

11:57

can quit advertising on Barnett Road.

12:00

Barnet Road. Alright.

12:06

Susan Drury in Tennessee. In

12:08

the years since we first broadcast this story in 2003, Don

12:11

Estip, the host of Swap & Shop here just

12:13

heard, has died. Act

12:16

4. The sound of one hand

12:18

waving. So for this

12:20

one, let's go to the beach. For a

12:22

one minute and four second vacation on

12:25

Nantucket Island. When

12:29

we were in the water and we realized we weren't able to

12:31

get back in, we had some friends that were on the beach.

12:34

And so we started waving to them. We

12:36

were kind of doing this double hand wave

12:39

thing over our heads. And our friend just

12:41

kept waving back. She was standing and talking

12:43

to some other people on the beach. And

12:45

that must have happened two or three times. And

12:47

we waved like crazy. And

12:49

she waved back. And then

12:52

when we got on the surfboard later,

12:54

when the surfer picked us up, and

12:56

we still couldn't get in, we were

12:58

waving again. And again she thought, we asked

13:00

her afterwards, why did you think we were waving? She

13:02

said, we thought you were just trying to show us

13:05

you were on the surfboard with this guy. And

13:08

oh my God, you know, we're

13:10

waving frantically like to tell you what. That we

13:12

were on a surfboard with a 19 year old.

13:16

And nobody got it.

13:18

And we were sufficiently panicked and nobody

13:20

saw anything but a bunch of women

13:22

at Fat Lady's Beach. Waving

13:25

to their friends. Patty

13:28

Martin from Nantucket. She

13:30

talked to James Seltzer. She

13:32

has since passed away. All

13:35

called. Hand

13:37

of new hands clapping. This

13:40

one came from Vicki Merrick and Eric Kipp and Jay Allison.

13:43

Here's the voice you hear. Listen.

13:56

Scrawl up to the speck. Clap

13:58

it. One more if you can hear it. Reaching

14:04

out with radio. Blend

14:07

you the Radio as as project where

14:09

they work with incarcerated teenagers. History comes

14:11

along Creek Use Development Center in South

14:13

Portland, Maine it is. Imagine how this

14:15

works. You're a teenager. You locked up

14:17

your in juvenile detention. And his

14:19

group comes to you and says they will help you

14:22

make your own radio story. On. A

14:24

subject that concerns you. What?

14:27

Do you do that story about. Will.

14:29

Use Delhi. Hi. I'm

14:31

Joe in I somebody German. But.

14:33

All started when I went to dinner at

14:36

the cafeteria. Someone told my friend naughty to

14:38

put on. The. Muslims whole

14:40

me after I ate there someone had paid

14:42

knew that. I survived that day,

14:44

but I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I went

14:46

to the coast to see if they hadn't is. This

14:51

is Joe, Me and Jake. We're about to

14:53

see if we can interview Bill woman on

14:55

arms. Are people who isn't

14:57

people messing with our food? Yeah, we're

15:00

not rapper. Went on to having. Scuse

15:03

me miss a woman's I was

15:05

wondering if I could interview you

15:07

and taught you about of people

15:09

Poynton if it happened glass and

15:11

are pancakes and p and in

15:13

the pudding and stuff we was

15:15

wonder what you had to say

15:17

about that. Don't

15:20

Help was. So

15:24

handle the Us. Voted off with her

15:26

daughter was brought up a briefing that

15:28

i'm somebody put glass in the pancakes

15:30

so that was his last. It was

15:32

a piece of plastic that came from

15:34

one of the or glasses out there

15:36

and these are dynamo that you got

15:38

your kids had. How do you know

15:40

how gone to the pancake batter didn't

15:42

get into the pancake batter with put

15:45

in there afterwards though we are we've

15:47

heard different from again you know thing

15:49

about it. We we've heard that

15:51

it was to have any idea. What

15:54

so ever, what was going

15:56

on? That's why

15:58

with him you'd get an idea. That's not

16:00

why you came to me. You came to me

16:03

because you thought it was

16:05

true. Yeah, of course. You

16:08

kept it going. If somebody said that they

16:10

mess with your food, joking or not, wouldn't

16:12

you want to know really what happened or

16:14

not? No, I

16:16

would totally go

16:19

with the kitchen, with the kitchen crew, and what

16:21

you guys have been told. So

16:25

you'd believe the kitchen crew over the person,

16:27

no matter how much credibility you can give

16:29

them, you'd believe the kitchen

16:31

crew over them? Of course,

16:33

because you don't cook the

16:35

food. You

16:37

think it's funny, don't you? You really think it's funny?

16:40

No, I really don't think it's

16:42

funny. Why are you pointing like a gesture

16:44

cat? Because you're going out, you're going friggin'

16:47

zero to ten just because we're asking a

16:49

bunch of questions. No, it's not. It's what

16:51

you're asking, it's how you're asking, the same

16:53

thing over again and you're trying to get

16:55

an answer, which there isn't any answer there.

16:58

All right, this is obviously not working.

17:01

I'm going to have to interview somebody else.

17:03

I heard some kid got jumped because he

17:06

supposedly peed in the pudding. That's

17:08

the key word right there. We

17:11

have an investigator and he investigated

17:14

the incident and we also had

17:17

the pudding tested. They took it to

17:19

an independent laboratory and tested it and

17:21

it was proven that there was no foreign

17:23

matter in that pudding at all. Now,

17:26

perhaps you weren't told that because

17:28

I don't think you're told everything,

17:30

but it was sad that because

17:32

you thought there was, you incited

17:34

a riot in the dining room

17:36

and made a big mess that

17:39

kids had to clean up. They had nothing to do

17:41

with it. I don't

17:43

know what to think. If someone did contaminate the food

17:45

with bodily fluids, I guess I'd rather not know since

17:47

I'm stuck here and I had to eat the food.

17:51

Thank you for your time. This is Joey. Joey,

17:54

he was 18 when he recorded that story. His friend

17:56

Jake was 16. If

18:02

you're just tuning in, this is This American Life. We

18:04

have tossed out our regular way of doing the show

18:06

this week. Trashed it, chucked it,

18:08

spurned it. We laugh at it. We spit

18:10

on its grave. And

18:12

instead we are bringing you as many short stories as

18:14

we can fit into 60 minutes. It

18:16

is barely what? 18 minutes

18:18

into the show and already we are at act

18:21

7, an incredible achievement. Act

18:23

7, up with the air is clear. We

18:26

have this story from Jonathan Goldstein. Before

18:28

he ever moved to Gotham City, before he

18:31

grew into the overweight obsessive sad sack of

18:33

his later years, the Penguin was

18:35

a poet and a dandy who lived in

18:37

London. He wrote complex

18:39

villanelles and threw lavish dinner parties at which

18:42

he only became more charming the more he

18:44

drank. He wore a monocle,

18:46

a top hat, and carried an umbrella. One

18:50

evening, at one of his dinner parties, after

18:52

hours spent sipping absinthe, the Penguin ran up

18:54

to the roof of his building, opened up

18:56

his large black umbrella and leapt off into

18:58

the air. As

19:01

he coasted to the ground, he hollered out lines from

19:03

Blake. Stuff about grabbing life by the

19:05

fat of its stomach and giving it a twist. He

19:08

was that crazy. He was that bursting

19:10

with life. From

19:13

that night on, he made it his habit, to

19:15

jump off roofs ever higher while clutching an

19:17

umbrella. After a

19:20

while he got pretty good at it too. He

19:22

saw that by kicking his legs and

19:24

twisting his back a certain way, he

19:26

could actually prolong his flight, coasting all

19:28

over the place, sometimes only landing after

19:30

several daring minutes along. It

19:41

came to pass that the Penguin started hearing

19:43

more and more about a certain nanny named

19:45

Mary Poppins. She too, he

19:47

was told, had been floating around London hanging

19:50

from an umbrella handle. Everywhere

19:52

he went, the Penguin kept hearing about her, how

19:54

it was simply insane that they had not met each other

19:56

yet. So finally a

19:58

dinner party was arranged. by someone who knew them both,

20:01

and on the evening of the party the

20:03

penguin walked into the drawing-room, saw Mary Poppins

20:06

on the divan, doffed his top hat, and

20:08

bowed low, as was his style in

20:10

those days. He'd

20:12

planned a few things to say and do when first

20:14

meeting Mary Poppins. He thought he might

20:16

lift up his umbrella as though challenging or to a duel.

20:20

He imagined she would smile and take

20:22

up her own frilly, perhaps pink umbrella,

20:24

and then, together they would dance about

20:26

the room, leaping over furniture, parrying and

20:29

thrusting, perhaps even winding things up, breathing

20:31

heavily nose to nose. Instead

20:36

what happened was the penguin became very shy

20:38

and quiet. As he

20:41

stood there staring at her, his top hat

20:43

felt needlessly clumsy, his monocle too small for

20:45

his face, and the squinting needed to keep

20:47

it in place was giving him a slight

20:49

headache. For the first time

20:51

in his life the penguin felt ludicrous. I

20:54

imagine you two must have an infinite amount of

20:57

things to speak of, said their host, as he

20:59

sat them together at the dinner table. The

21:02

penguin nodded uncertainly. After

21:05

three or four minutes it became clear that

21:07

the penguin and Mary Poppins had absolutely nothing

21:09

to say to one another that did not

21:11

deal exclusively with umbrella travel. Getting

21:14

stuck in trees, the shoulder aches, anxiety

21:16

about tipping over in the wind. Everyone

21:19

at the table just sat there staring at them

21:21

expectantly, which made the whole thing even more awkward.

21:25

Trying to move things along, Mary Poppins asked the penguin

21:27

if he liked to sing, to which

21:30

the penguin responded, only when I'm

21:32

drunk. Then she

21:34

asked if he enjoyed children, to which

21:36

he replied, yes, in a sweet

21:38

wine sauce. The

21:40

penguin then asked Mary Poppins how she kept people

21:42

from looking up her skirt when she flew. She

21:45

smiled politely, then turned to

21:48

the man on her left and asked him how he was

21:50

enjoying the lamb. The

21:52

man on her left was wearing an elegant aristocratic

21:54

cape. Mary, a bit drunk on

21:56

the sherry, noted that if he spread his cape out,

21:58

he might be able to lied about like a

22:00

bat. The man on

22:02

her left chuckled and suggested that after dinner,

22:04

they head up to the roof and give

22:06

it a try. Which they did. And

22:15

as of Goldstein, he's the host of the

22:18

podcast Heavyweight, which feels exactly like this story

22:20

except the people in it are not fictional.

22:22

The last episode of the new season went

22:24

out last week. Act

22:31

8. The greatest dog name in

22:34

the world. Yes, you have the true story

22:36

of its origin years ago.

22:38

An exclusive told by two brothers,

22:41

one of whom is 12, the other is 13. I

22:44

wanted to name him Pasta. I used

22:46

to like Pasta a lot. And

22:48

it was probably the first thing that came to

22:50

my mind. So out of nowhere, I said Pasta.

22:53

So he said Batman. I wanted to name a

22:56

Batman because I saw in a

22:58

movie, a dog stuck his head out the window

23:00

and his ears went straight up

23:02

and it looked like it reminded me of Batman. And

23:04

we fought over it for a little bit. I

23:07

just remember running around and chasing each other. I

23:10

was jumping on my mom's bed saying like

23:12

Batman, Batman, Batman. And my brother was sitting

23:14

in the chair saying like Pasta, Pasta,

23:17

Pasta. That was the God. I was like an hour. I

23:28

think it was right around the time we had

23:30

this big fight about Gumball, which I'm not going

23:32

to get into because it's pretty embarrassing. But if

23:36

there was just some little thing that we

23:38

couldn't agree on, then it would just blew up into

23:40

this whole big thing. Yeah, I remember being pretty

23:42

upset about it. And

23:45

then my mom comes in and says like, all right,

23:47

that's it. It's over. It's Pasta

23:50

Batman. That's it. And

23:53

then there was silence. And

23:56

Then from there, he's Pasta Batman, Lawrence.

24:00

I've got one that's the bad

24:03

as. That's just he. Sons.

24:05

The Batman. A.

24:18

Zillion in Paris lowest and to have

24:20

and thirteen spoke with Katie a job.

24:25

At Nine Dogs and Man The Lane

24:27

Burmese to work at a pet shop.

24:29

We've had to help people select some items

24:32

for their animals in. This woman and her

24:34

husband came and she was looking for a

24:36

training powers of the pinch color type and

24:38

of course they're pretty hideous looking but they

24:40

do do the job and they don't hurt

24:42

the animal. The discuss the animals attention When

24:44

she couldn't make up her mind what size

24:47

to guess so she looked over to Huston

24:49

and she says dear come over here and

24:51

then she. Looked at me and she said you

24:53

know his neck is about the same size as

24:55

the dogs. put this on she says and the

24:57

guy sit there and circus. As she puts the

24:59

things cars around his neck and to do

25:01

some. Sense

25:04

and he says yes, we are. This works.

25:06

And desserts thank you very much of

25:08

that was and a that. To

25:12

Lane Bomb. Talked with James Selter. At

25:15

ten, So. That goes out this part

25:17

of a show for the break with the story from

25:19

the theater group the gave us the idea for today's

25:21

jam packed program in the first place. That group again

25:23

the neo Futurists. They've. Done, He shows how

25:25

they perform thirty plays in sixty minutes. Turns.

25:28

I didn't get across a surprising amount in a

25:30

two minute play. Some of

25:32

the boys are monologues. some of them are scenes,

25:34

but a lot of them just take some

25:36

simple concept. One idea. And. Then

25:39

spinner concept out on stage for two minutes. Isn't

25:42

like that. Fitness.

25:45

Statements. Statement.

25:50

Question. Research

25:53

Service. Confidence.

25:57

Considered sacred, overconfident statement.

26:00

elaborate defensive excuse

26:05

half-hearted agreement insecure

26:08

statement distracted

26:10

statement absurd

26:12

statement persecution question? hammock

26:15

bullsh** explanation quick

26:17

meaningless conic non sequitur oh

26:20

a sink laughter sink

26:22

laughter accidental

26:24

compliment of physical

26:26

characteristics please

26:29

just find shut

26:33

consideration of meaningless conic non

26:35

sequitur ha ha ha, relief laughter

26:38

relief laughter self

26:41

assured agreement is denial exaggerated

26:48

statement exaggerated

26:51

statement grossly exaggerated

26:54

statement verification

26:57

question extremely exaggerated

27:00

elucidation mental

27:03

compliment with ex-gentle double unturned ha

27:05

ha ha, constant laughter ha

27:07

ha ha confident

27:10

suggestive proposition confident suggestive

27:12

proposition confident suggestive proposition violent

27:16

denial a vast repetition as

27:18

question disgusted violent

27:20

denial disgusted violent denial

27:23

defensive incriminating implication offensive

27:26

distort aggressive childish

27:28

Seeing tired aggressive

27:37

childish insult aggressive

27:42

childish insult aggressive childish

27:44

insult aggressive

27:47

childish insult aggressive

27:49

childish aggressive childish

27:52

aggressive childish babysits pay

27:54

attention Hindethumbin Father fully

27:57

escape byAMD I'm

28:00

gonna get in trouble with my agent!

28:03

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

28:06

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

28:12

A thumb self-revelation. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

28:16

Oh my god! Greg

28:19

Allen and Heather Reardon from Too Much Light Makes the

28:21

Baby Go Blind 30 plays in 60

28:23

minutes, which ran every weekend in Chicago for 28

28:25

years until it ended its run in

28:27

2016. Greg is the

28:29

founder of the group. The Neo-Futurists have a

28:31

new show, which also features lots of little 2-minute

28:33

plays. It is called The Infinite Wrench. There's

28:36

also a company in Detroit, The UnTheater,

28:38

doing these kinds of shows and

28:40

other productions around the world. Their

28:43

website, neofuturists.org. Coming

28:46

up, David Sedaris on an important,

28:48

and I have to say, undiscussed question about

28:50

cell phone use, and so many, so many

28:53

other little stories. We don't even want to

28:55

count them. In a minute, from

28:57

Chicago Public Radio, when our program

28:59

continues. Well,

29:03

this is turning out to be an interesting show, isn't it?

29:05

It's American Life from Ira Glass, and if you're just tuning

29:07

in, this week we are throwing

29:09

out our regular way of doing things. You

29:12

know, three or four stories and some theme, blah blah blah. To

29:14

hell with all that. Instead, we are

29:17

trying to cram as many stories into one hour

29:20

as we humanly can. We guarantee

29:22

20. There may be more. We

29:24

are at number 11, Etiquette

29:26

Lesson. Here's writer David

29:28

Sedaris. In a men's

29:31

room at LaGuardia Airport, I watched a man take

29:33

a cell phone from his jacket pocket, step

29:35

into an empty stall, and proceed to dial.

29:38

I thought he had

29:40

come for the relative privacy, but looking through

29:42

the space beneath the door, I

29:44

saw that his pants were gathered about his ankles.

29:47

He was sitting on the toilet. Most

29:50

airport calls begin with geography. I'm

29:53

in Kansas City, people say. I'm in Houston.

29:55

I'm in Kennedy. When asked where

29:57

He was, the man on the phone said simply, Right

30:00

I'm at the airport. What he is saying.

30:03

The. Sounds of a public toilet or not

30:05

The sounds he would generally associate with

30:07

an airport and so he is what

30:09

he is saying. Struck me as unfair.

30:13

The. Person he was talking to obviously south

30:15

the same way when you mean what

30:17

airport the man said I met Laguardia.

30:19

Now put me through the Marty. A

30:23

few hours later, I was in Boston. we

30:25

live in The story to my sister Tiffany.

30:28

I mean he actually placed a call, was

30:30

sitting on the toilet. Tiffany.

30:32

Is big on rules and so

30:35

I expected a certain degree of

30:37

outrage I wanted discussed, but instead

30:39

she said own late. I

30:41

don't believe in cell phones. But.

30:43

You do believe in talking on the phone while sitting

30:45

on the toilet. Was. Not

30:47

a believe he said. but I

30:50

mean sir, When. Asked

30:52

her. she explains and noise. Tiffany scrunched

30:54

up her face and held an imaginary

30:56

receiver to. Her mouth I

30:58

say. Don't. Mind me, I'm

31:00

destroying to get that play it off.

31:03

This is your. Her

31:05

face return to normal and I thought of all

31:07

the times I had fallen for that line. All

31:10

the times I had pigs had my sister

31:12

standing helpless in her kitchen. Tried

31:14

tapping the lead against the countertop. I'd

31:17

say had or rinse it in hot

31:19

water that sometimes. Works. Eventually

31:22

after might struggle she would let out

31:24

a brass. Player we'd

31:26

go. she'd say I've got it

31:28

now. And then she would say

31:31

thank you. And. I'd hang up

31:33

thinking. Well. It's a good

31:35

thing she called me. David.

31:37

Sedaris. His most recent book is Happy

31:39

Go Lucky. Act

31:42

well. To tell the truth. Is

31:45

was acquitted by Brent Runyon in the kids section

31:47

of the Public Library. My. Can't

31:49

punish me so many times. I

31:52

lie. Less hours

31:54

home one day and I said to

31:56

my brother, why at it I don't

31:59

have anybody this. I jumped

32:01

over my brother's death.

32:03

I don't feel like.

32:06

I. Told you I jumped into to

32:08

the first the i don't like

32:10

cretins aged nine. Oh. Like

32:12

their team. More. Lies. This.

32:15

Happen to Catherine and her husband John long

32:17

before they were married back before the graduated

32:19

from college. Girls baby

32:22

sit a lot and boys don't. Santa.

32:26

The girls understand that when you babysit

32:28

part of the deal as you get

32:30

to eat anything you want. So.

32:33

After we'd put the kids to bed, I said

32:36

but we should go see what they have to

32:38

eat and he said i'm. We

32:40

can eat their food and I said

32:43

of course we can eat their food

32:45

when you mean and he says it's

32:47

stealing I said john I promise you

32:49

it's find something they they expect us

32:51

to they they understand that you know

32:54

that are expected to start over babysitting

32:56

and finally and he said well we

32:58

can eat something that only something they

33:00

won't miss and they had a huge

33:02

crit full of grapefruits and they also

33:05

had Hands and Kansas on. Earth

33:07

Beans. Since

33:12

I had have the grapefruit,

33:14

anton. Opened up a can of beans

33:16

and had that and then. I

33:18

wraps up the other half as a

33:21

grapefruit and and can. Clean

33:23

have commenced out. And

33:25

dried off the empty can apply finances

33:27

and we flipped the raft of have

33:29

a great said and that cleaned out

33:32

bucks it as can have black beans

33:34

in his bag. So

33:36

so that people wouldn't know that you

33:39

had eaten were destroyed. The evidence and

33:41

is is insisted as it was absurd.

33:45

And then we watch T V.

33:47

Our. Hunger satisfied and then

33:49

the couple came home and him

33:52

with you know made small talk

33:54

and then John picked up his

33:56

bag in the hallway. And

33:59

there was. A. sort of dull foot

34:01

and half the grapefruit fell out on the floor.

34:06

And I said, oh,

34:09

that's mine. I'm sorry. I,

34:12

we're allowed to take a piece of fruit from the

34:14

dining hall. And I had taken that

34:16

grapefruit from the dining hall and that's why I

34:18

have it here. And

34:21

then they sort of said, oh, okay,

34:23

that's nice. And then I put it back in

34:25

John's bag and then John picked up his bag again. You

34:28

guessed it, a clang. And

34:32

clanging out onto the floor went

34:34

this empty can of black beans.

34:39

And when the can fell out on the floor,

34:41

John said, oh, that's mine. I keep

34:43

change in that. Like

34:48

I keep change as if that was less

34:51

insane. Act

34:59

14, Colin Colonel Mustard for questioning.

35:02

Or that's what happens if you don't use a condiment, kids.

35:06

See all the stupid jokes that you end up telling if you

35:08

have a story that takes place in a hot dog factory about

35:10

hot dogs? Here we go.

35:13

My name is Jim Bodman and I'm the

35:15

chairman of the Vienna Sausage Company in Chicago.

35:19

And the building that

35:21

we are currently standing in, which is

35:23

on the north side of Chicago on

35:25

Damon near the corner of Fullerton, was

35:28

built around 1970. This

35:30

hot dog plant, Jim Bodman says, replaced

35:32

the company's original facility. So

35:34

it was put together in a Rube Goldberg

35:37

kind of arrangement. So

35:39

we moved into this building and this was a brand

35:41

new state of the art. Stainless

35:44

steel, refrigeration is perfect,

35:46

spit clean building. So

35:49

we started making our natural

35:51

old world hickory smoked natural casing

35:54

hot dogs here. And

35:56

it wasn't as good. They tasted okay, he says,

35:58

but they didn't have the right snap when you've been into

36:00

them. And even worse, the

36:03

color was wrong. The hot dogs were

36:05

all pink instead of bright red. So

36:08

they tried to figure out what was wrong. The

36:10

ingredients are all the same. The spices are all the same.

36:12

The process is all the same. Maybe

36:15

it was the temperature in the smoke house. Maybe

36:17

the water on the north side of Chicago wasn't the same

36:19

as the water on the south side. They

36:22

searched for a year and a half. Nothing

36:25

checked out. Then

36:27

one night, when you guys on

36:29

the planet are out having a drink and gabbing about

36:31

the good old days back in the old plant on

36:33

Maxwell Street, they start talking about this guy named Irving.

36:36

One of those guys who knows everybody in the

36:38

plant has nicknames for everybody. And

36:40

listen to what Irving's job was. Every

36:42

day, he would weave his way with the

36:44

uncooked sausages through the maze of passageways in

36:46

the old plant. He would go

36:48

through the hanging bench. That's where we hang the

36:51

pastrami pieces. And it's quite warm. And he would

36:53

go through the boiler room where we produced all

36:55

the energy for the plant. He would go next

36:57

to the tanks where we cooked corned beef, finally

36:59

get around the corner, in some cases actually go

37:01

up an elevator. And then he would be at

37:03

the smoke house. He would put it at the

37:06

smoke house. And he would cook it. And

37:09

as they're telling stories about Irving, Irving missed Irving

37:11

that a light bulb goes off. In

37:13

the fancy new modern plant, there was no

37:16

Irving. Irving didn't want to commute

37:18

to the north side. There was no

37:20

maze up hallways. There was no half hour trip where

37:22

the sausage would get worn before they would cook it.

37:25

In the new plant, they just stuffed the sausages in a

37:27

cold room and cooked them in a smoke house in the

37:29

room next door to it. Irving's

37:32

trip was the secret ingredient that made the

37:34

hot dogs red. So

37:36

secret, even the guys who ran the

37:38

plant didn't know about it. So we said,

37:40

oh my god, that is of course the reason. Why didn't

37:43

we know that? That's the dumbest thing in the world. And

37:45

I realized it's right there. How

37:47

do we fix it? And the solution

37:49

to the problem was the room that was standing

37:51

in right now. And this was

37:54

a new addition put onto the plant

37:56

about two years after we built the

37:58

facility. This

38:00

whole room, the outside bearing wall is that wall right

38:02

there we put this whole room on and in this

38:04

room we emulate the

38:07

old area of the old plant. And

38:10

so this room essentially is to simulate

38:14

Irving. That's exactly right. We should have

38:16

called it Irving Irving's Corner It's

38:20

warm in Irving's Corner and smells nice

38:22

too. Smoky, like hickory

38:24

smoke and spices. Since

38:27

I first heard this story years ago on a tour

38:29

of this very plant, I found myself telling it now

38:31

and then. I think

38:33

that what I love about it is the

38:35

fact that these guys at the factory had

38:37

done everything right. Finally built

38:39

their dream factory with the best equipment and expertise

38:42

that money could buy. But

38:44

you can't think of everything. Sometimes

38:48

you have no idea why you were a success in the first

38:50

place. Act

39:02

15. Mr. Prediction.

39:06

In the mid 1980s right out of college David

39:08

Rakoff moved to Japan and

39:11

pretty soon ended up in this office job where he

39:13

was convinced that he understood a secret about the company

39:15

and its business that nobody else,

39:17

not even the big bosses of the company, could see. It

39:20

was like that from the start. Primarily

39:22

the office was an advertising agency. But

39:25

what they were setting up was this thing

39:27

for expatriates who were living in Tokyo at

39:29

the time or perhaps all of Japan. It

39:32

was like a network on

39:35

a computer. They would

39:37

set up a newsletter on

39:39

the network and people could quote

39:41

log on to the computer and talk

39:44

to one another or do

39:48

research. And I

39:50

was just, I don't know, I just

39:52

looked around the room and I saw these computers and

39:56

could only think like

39:58

what kind of lube? user

40:01

would log on to a computer,

40:04

talk to someone. And in fact, that

40:06

night in my diary, I

40:08

had written something like, this

40:11

is like those comic book enthusiasts

40:13

who actually read the little instructions at

40:15

the bottom of the panel that said,

40:17

you know, for more on the Green

40:19

Goblin, check out Spidey number 137,

40:21

you know, the editor.

40:25

And in almost the only moment of

40:27

decisiveness in my entire adult life, I've

40:29

certainly never equaled this. I went

40:31

in the next morning and I quit. And

40:37

all I could think was like, Sayonara,

40:40

suckers, you

40:42

know, good luck with your network. And

40:46

we know exactly what the network was. It was the

40:49

internet. Like

40:58

when in college, I went to see Madonna at Danceteria, which was

41:00

a club downtown, like

41:09

1982 or whatever. And I thought, boy,

41:12

is she lousy. Other

41:17

examples besides Madonna and the internet? Other

41:20

than Madonna and the internet, you need

41:22

another example. When

41:24

I was an editorial assistant working

41:26

in publishing, I was

41:29

handed a manuscript to read. I

41:31

think I wrote some subliterate, you

41:34

know, borderline misogyny and easy

41:37

pass. And somebody thought,

41:40

I'm just going to take a look at this anyway. It

41:43

was men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

41:48

These are not like me saying, like, I don't think Alicia

41:50

Silverstone is going to be very good and clueless. I mean,

41:52

these are like, you know, pretty big,

41:54

iconic ones. Yeah.

41:57

Like, have you felt like you're going to be a real fan of

41:59

the internet? has heard that crazy

42:03

lunatic in the marketplace, in vaying

42:05

against the Pharisees, he'll

42:07

burn off like so much morning fog. We'll never

42:09

hear about him ever again. You know, it's like

42:12

that. David

42:19

Rakoff, the final book that

42:21

he wrote before he died

42:23

in 2012, is a book

42:26

I just love.

42:32

It's a novel in rhymed couplets. Love, dishonor,

42:35

marry, die, cherish, perish, a novel by David

42:37

Rakoff. You're listening to This American Life, where

42:39

today it is all about speed. We

42:42

are, what, 43 minutes into the program, and we have

42:44

already finished 15 acts, and this

42:46

brings us to act 16, that one guy

42:48

at the office. So if

42:50

you work at a big office, you know that there's always at least

42:52

one person whose name you do not know. In

42:54

Jordana's office, Matt is that guy, for perhaps,

42:56

as best as anybody can figure, half the

42:59

people who work there. Jordana

43:01

will tell you about it. Matt

43:05

Ostrower sits next to the printer in the busiest

43:08

hallway at our office. People walk

43:10

by him dozens of times a week on their way

43:12

to retrieve printouts. And though he

43:14

actually works in the new media department and has

43:16

nothing to do with the printer, most people don't

43:18

know this. It's his sad fate

43:20

that most of his conversations at work are about

43:22

one thing. Originally

43:25

a lot of them were printer-based, you know? Why is his

43:27

printer taking so long? Oh, paper's

43:29

out. Oh, there's printer jams. Some

43:32

of it's never really left that genre of conversation,

43:35

you know? They don't really spend too much. So

43:37

a lot of it's just very superficial. Hey,

43:41

did you throw away any printouts here? No,

43:45

no, I didn't touch anything. I'd

43:47

been working in the office a few months when one day a

43:49

friend called me and said he was hanging out with one of

43:51

my coworkers, who lived in his building. Who

43:54

I asked. Matt, he said. I

43:56

had no idea who that was and said so. Then

43:59

I heard about it. voice in the background say, tell her I

44:01

sit next to the printer. And

44:04

that's when his predicament hit me. So

44:06

I decided to survey my co-workers to see if they knew

44:08

who he is, what his real job is. Do

44:11

they even know his name? No,

44:13

I mean I know his face very well. I stop,

44:15

I chat, I say hi, how are you? I'm

44:17

grabbing things off the printer. I ask him

44:20

about his little electronic music devices and all

44:22

that. We chit chat. And

44:24

I'd say I do that probably about three or four times

44:26

a day at least. But

44:28

I have no idea what his name is. I wondered

44:31

if Matt was at all surprised by this. Shocked.

44:35

I honestly see him between

44:37

50 and 75 times a day, like

44:40

different intervals of time. At

44:43

least that, every day, every single day. I'm

44:48

wondering if you know the name of the guy that sits right out

44:50

here in the hallway. Is

44:54

his name... I

44:56

don't know. Works on

44:58

the web, right? Kind

45:00

of. And Matt's response.

45:03

I'm a little surprised because I see her every day as well.

45:07

I'm wondering if you know the name of the guy that sits in

45:09

the hallway next to the printer. I don't

45:14

see anybody sitting in the hallway next to the printer. I

45:17

didn't think we had anybody sitting next

45:19

to the printer. I've

45:30

never had this kind of experience before.

45:32

The whole situation is just ridiculous. I've

45:34

been here for a year and a half, pretty much every

45:37

day. And there's still people who

45:39

don't know my name or what I do. And

45:41

it's a little bit weird. I could go through

45:43

a pretty full day without talking to anyone besides,

45:45

you know, the requests from the printer. Perhaps that's

45:48

it for me. Matt

45:55

says the printer shows up in his dream sometimes.

45:58

In his dreams he'll be at a party waiting

46:00

in to the bathroom through to peeking out at

46:02

the beach, people everywhere, and there

46:04

will be the printer, close to the side,

46:07

chugging away, occasionally

46:09

jamming. I'm Richard. I'm

46:11

Gary. And I have this one little

46:13

talent. I don't

46:19

know where it came from and I, I, I,

46:22

it fears me to think that it's, it's

46:27

something that

46:40

I myself possess, but I'm able

46:42

to make the entire sound of

46:44

a swamp. And I will attempt

46:46

to do so now. I'm not sure I'm

46:48

prepared at this moment, but I'll, I'll give

46:50

you the sound of a swamp. And

47:11

I don't know why, but it seems to be

47:13

really important that parties. Richard

47:16

Carey, Dr. James Seltzer, Act

47:19

18, Party Talk. Here's

47:21

writer Chuck Kosterman. This was

47:23

a conversation that happened to me at a party

47:26

two years ago. At one point

47:28

in the conversation, I suddenly found it necessary

47:30

to mention that Journey was Rock's

47:32

version of the TV show Dynasty. This

47:36

prompted a spirited debate we then dubbed

47:38

Monkeys Equals Monkeys. The

47:41

goal of this game is to figure

47:44

out which television show is the closest

47:46

philosophical analogy to a specific rock and

47:48

roll band, and the criteria are mind-blowingly

47:50

complex. It's a

47:53

combination of longevity, era, critical

47:56

acclaim, commercial success, and,

47:59

most important, importantly, the aesthetic

48:01

soul of each artistic entity. For

48:04

example, the Rolling Stones are

48:07

Gunsmoke. The Strokes?

48:10

Kiefer Sutherland's Twenty-Four. Jimi

48:14

Hendrix was the Twilight Zone. Devo

48:16

was Fernwood Tonight. Leonard

48:19

Skynard was the Beverly Hillbillies, which

48:21

makes Molly hatchet Petticoat Junction. The

48:24

Black Crows are that 70s show. Hollanolds

48:27

were bosom buddies. U2

48:29

is MASH because both kinda got preachy at the

48:31

end. Dokken was Jason

48:33

Bateman's short-lived sitcom It's Your

48:35

Mood. The Eurythmics were

48:37

Morck and Mindy. We

48:40

even deduced comparisons for solo projects

48:42

which can only be made series

48:44

that were spawned as spinoffs. The

48:46

four Beatles, post-1970, are as follows. John

48:50

equals Mod. Paul equals Frasier.

48:52

George equals The Jeffersons. And Ringo

48:55

equals Flow. David Lee

48:57

Roth's solo period after Van Halen was

48:59

not flanding. So

49:01

there's proof. Marijuana makes you

49:03

smarter. This is

49:12

Jeff Kosterman reading from his book Sex, Drugs,

49:14

and Cocoa Puffs, a low-culture manifesto. His

49:16

most recent book is the 90s, a

49:18

book. Act

49:23

19, The Hard Life at the Top. Here's

49:27

a ritual that takes place every summer on the last

49:29

day of June. 1200 new

49:31

army cadets, mostly teenagers, survivors of one

49:34

of the most exhausting application processes in

49:36

the country, arrive at West Point. And

49:39

then in the space of one morning, they're

49:41

separated from their parents, their clothes are taken

49:43

away, their hair is taken away, their weight,

49:45

their measured, their issued a bag, an army

49:48

uniform, and underwear. They take

49:50

their oath of office. And then here is

49:52

the first act they have as non-civilians. All

49:55

they have to do is say a single sentence. Once

49:58

they get it said, they can go to their barracks. But

50:00

not until then. David Lipsky spent

50:02

four years writing about these guys and describes what

50:04

happens each year. The drill

50:07

is simple. The new cadets have

50:09

to step up to a tape line, drop

50:11

their bags, and make their report to upperclassmen

50:13

wearing red sashes. "'You will walk

50:15

up to the line,' the red sashes tell them.

50:17

"'And you will say, sir, new cadet

50:20

dough reports to the cadet in the red sash for

50:22

the first time as ordered.' The

50:24

new cadet swallow, nod their heads, and then

50:26

the screwing up begins. This

50:28

cadet is so nervous, he doesn't realize

50:30

he's supposed to swap his own name

50:32

for dough." "'Sir, new cadet dough, of

50:34

course, to the cadet in the red

50:36

sash.' "'No, sir.' "'Say your name, new

50:38

cadet.' "'Yes, sir.' "'Is your last name

50:41

dough?' the red sash screams. "'No, sir,'

50:43

says the new cadet. "'Then say your

50:45

name, new cadet,' says the red sash.

50:48

Words count, even footwork counts. New

50:50

cadet Clinker, a jittery 18-year-old female

50:53

cadet, finds this out when she steps a

50:55

little too far forward. "'Sir, new cadet, look where your screen is.'

50:57

"'Sir, new cadet, look where you're standing. I told you to step

50:59

up to my line. You're going to learn how far forward it

51:01

is, new cadet.' "'New cadet,' says the red sash." The red sash

51:03

asks her to do it again. This time,

51:05

she stands in the right place, but she's forgotten what

51:07

to say. "'Sir, new cadet,

51:09

please. Sit. Sit.'

51:12

"'Are you showing emotion and glad to see a

51:14

smile come across your face, new cadet? You're

51:16

like a rock. We hear your military discipline

51:18

all the time. Do you understand this? What

51:20

are you looking for?' For these specially selected

51:22

red sashes, breaking in the new cadets is

51:24

a great honor. The day before, they've even

51:27

practiced being hard on local civilians in a

51:29

full rehearsal. Every year,

51:31

a bunch of teachers, sons, daughters, groundskeepers from

51:33

around town sign up for a fun day

51:35

as practiced cadets. Every year,

51:37

a handful leave in tears. "'Sir, new

51:39

cadet McLeod reporting to the cadet in the

51:42

red sash, my first time as ordered. He's

51:44

obviously lit.' "'Sir, new cadet McLeod stutters on

51:46

his first attempt. He's asked to

51:48

drop his salute and start over. On

51:51

this one day, almost 1,200 young men

51:53

and women will make the report. If everyone did

51:55

it right the first time, it would take about an hour. I

51:58

don't see anyone go through the process.' first time. It

52:01

takes all day. New

52:03

Cadet McCloud tries again, but the words won't

52:05

come. New

52:08

Cadet McCloud. New Cadet. New Cadet.

52:10

New Cadet. New Cadet. New Cadet.

52:12

New Cadet. Drop your salute,

52:14

the Red Sash tells him. Are you a

52:16

New Cadet or a New Cadet? New

52:18

Cadet, he says, forgetting the sir. New Cadet. New

52:20

Cadet. Are you going to put a sir on

52:22

that? Poor New

52:25

Cadet McCloud has already screwed up twice. To

52:27

get here, he spent 18 years excelling

52:30

in nearly every way he can, in schoolwork,

52:32

in athletics, at student council meetings. He's beaten

52:34

his way to the top of the 50,000

52:37

applicants who fill out Request for Information

52:39

forms he's been interviewed by Senators, congressmen,

52:41

and now here he is, in the

52:43

last place he ever thought he'd find

52:45

himself, a sudden death play audition. He

52:48

only has to say one line. He

52:50

draws a breath, tries one more time, and

52:53

after letting go of his family, his hair,

52:55

his clothes, he drops the last vestige of

52:58

his civilian life. He forgets his

53:00

own name. New Cadet. New Cadet. New

53:02

Cadet. New Cadet. New Cadet. New Cadet. And

53:05

now theiving services

53:07

are asking questions

53:18

and Encyclopedia 2020 CBS

53:22

His most forgotten correctly explained, is

53:24

HmetalLaura Felix? The Non-Mirst Adidas Marchzes

53:31

The greatest moment I ever saw on

53:34

the stage. I'll say

53:36

first of all that this moment that I

53:38

saw caught me completely off guard. I

53:41

was at a play where I was not expecting anything special. It

53:43

was put on by an organization that works with

53:46

teenagers, Story Catchers Theaters, what it's called. And

53:48

among other things, they get kids who are

53:50

locked up in Chicago's juvenile detention center, the

53:52

Audi home, to write and perform

53:55

musicals about their lives. The

53:58

Tucson was performed by teenage girls. Okay,

54:01

so we're in the detention center. Folding

54:03

chairs have been set up. The girls'

54:05

parents, it's mostly mothers and grandmothers, very

54:07

few men, are sitting directly in front

54:09

of the stage. And

54:12

imagine for a minute what it's like to be one of those

54:14

parents, okay? Your kids locked up, possibly

54:16

on very serious charges, some of these girls were. You're

54:19

worried about what's going to happen to them next. You're

54:22

probably still mad that they didn't listen to you in the first

54:24

place and got into all this trouble and ended up behind bars.

54:27

What can theater possibly do for

54:30

you in this situation? You know?

54:33

It seems like such an old-fashioned idea that it can do

54:35

anything. So

54:38

there's this one scene in the play. Where'd

54:41

you get these clothes from? And it's the story of

54:43

this girl named Candace. And

54:45

Candace basically wanted better clothes so the other kids at

54:47

school wouldn't laugh at her. That's

54:49

why she steals some clothes from Nike Town and she

54:51

gets in trouble, she gets caught, and then she joins

54:53

a gang to earn some money and be more popular.

54:56

Her mom finds some drugs in the house, in a

54:58

gun, and feels completely betrayed because

55:00

that was not how she raised her daughter. And

55:02

one thing leads to another and Candace gets locked up. Then,

55:07

the girl narrating the story says, and

55:09

this is how Candace feels about her mom now. And

55:13

then all the girls in the play come out on the stage and stand

55:15

in a line, facing their mothers and grandmothers who

55:17

are right there in front of them. Candace,

55:21

I'm sorry for what I have done. I

55:27

was arrested

55:30

and you did love

55:32

here in the early

55:34

home. Oh,

55:36

I'm sorry for putting you

55:38

through all of this. I

55:43

know you are never the good

55:45

time that we've

55:47

been. I'm

55:50

ready to come back

55:52

home. I'm

55:56

willing to make a

55:58

change. One

56:01

of the verses goes, Mama, I'm sorry for

56:03

making you come to court, Promise losing

56:05

your job to give me moral support. Mama,

56:08

I'm sorry for putting you through all this stress, For making

56:11

you worry yourself, and depressed. I'm

56:13

ready to come back home. I'm willing to make a

56:16

change. And by this

56:18

time, the girls are all crying,

56:20

The parents are all crying, And

56:23

each girl has a cut out, you know, like

56:25

a little heart, Like on Valentine's Day, like that,

56:28

Made from red construction paper, Like

56:30

the size of your palm. And

56:33

written on each one is the words, I'm sorry.

56:37

And each girl goes out into the audience To where her

56:39

mom is sitting, or her grandma is sitting, And hands her

56:41

the heart. And the parents

56:43

are crying, and the kids are crying, And everybody is

56:45

hugging. It was really something. I'll

56:51

do anything for you,

56:54

Ma Please

56:57

don't forget about

56:59

yesterday. Mama,

57:03

I'm sorry. I'm

57:07

sorry. I'm sorry. Here

57:10

they were, not just saying this to

57:12

their mothers, But saying it publicly, in front of the

57:15

world, In front of their friends. Saying

57:17

this thing that could be so hard to

57:19

say, In any case, you

57:21

know. Singing it

57:23

out, And hoping that

57:25

it can heal something, That it's going to be hard to heal,

57:28

No matter what you do. I'm

57:34

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

57:40

sorry. I'm sorry.

57:46

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

57:49

And that's our show for today. 20 Acts in 60 Minutes. This

57:52

is a production of WCAI. WCAI

57:54

is a non-profit organization. Our website

57:56

is thisamericanlife.org My

58:00

PRX, the Public Radio Exchange, like

58:03

the Zoey Store Programs co-founder, Mrs. Troy Malatia,

58:05

who moves all the way back, back

58:07

to when we started the show. I think

58:09

it was right around the time we had

58:11

this big fight about gumballs, which I'm not gonna

58:14

get into because it's pretty embarrassing. I'm Robert Glass,

58:16

back next week with more stories of this

58:18

American life.