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0:39

Hello. Hi,

0:41

this is Yousaf Hamash. Yes,

0:44

it is loud and

0:46

clear. Good. Do

0:49

you, is this still an okay time for you to

0:51

talk? Yes.

0:53

Okay. Yeah, but it's a bit crazy

0:55

outside relative crowdness. You know, there is

0:58

a lot of traffic, especially from the

1:00

children. Let me find

1:02

a quiet place. Okay. Close

1:04

the door. Yes.

1:07

Earlier this month, one of our producers, Chana Jaffee

1:10

Wald, made this call to Yousaf Hamash in

1:12

Gaza. He works for

1:14

a humanitarian organization, the Norwegian Refugee

1:16

Council, the NRC. He used

1:19

this in his early 30s. He's got

1:21

two kids, big extended family. Chana talked

1:23

to him a few times over the course of one week,

1:26

really knowing very little about him or his

1:28

situation at the beginning. And

1:30

as you'll hear, more and more

1:32

unfolds and gets revealed. And

1:35

it all feels so immediate and

1:37

particular to these few weeks right now in the

1:40

war in Gaza that we wanted to

1:42

bring it to you now. Like it feels like it's about

1:44

right now. We have other

1:46

stories I should say about this war in the

1:48

works, including from inside Israel. So please stay tuned

1:50

for those. But for today with Yousaf, Chana

1:52

would talk to him at night, his time. His

1:55

family was living in the NRC office

1:57

in Rafah. So He was in the unusual

1:59

situation. In in Gaza where he often

2:01

did have internet access. With. Solar panels

2:04

providing power. The first

2:06

they wanna talk to him. He had just relocated

2:08

with his wife and kids to Rafa with the

2:10

office was it's on the border with Egypt. Is.

2:12

Four Sisters and their families are about

2:14

eight miles away in a town for

2:16

fun. Eunice. Some. Through.

2:19

This conversations. So talents

2:21

lie to me about what did you do

2:23

today. Or

2:27

yesterday I had to find a place

2:29

for my extended family which underlie father.

2:32

Today I found a place and they

2:34

built a dense, too tense actually. For.

2:37

Because I couldn't find our students

2:40

do anything. So

2:42

tomorrow at been the is of my

2:44

family a hit another folks anyone is

2:46

to these two tense and to the

2:48

it takes me a while building the

2:51

since. Then. I had to with the

2:53

market buying. Whatever blackout,

2:55

Find. What? Did you find. The

2:59

day I found. A

3:02

Us with. Sums

3:05

visit suburbs actually both tomato

3:08

okay and. The. First

3:10

I couldn't find potato because that is

3:12

no potato or not because of and

3:15

milk for the children. I'm

3:17

responsible for my children, my sister's

3:19

my mother because and only son

3:21

he together and only man for

3:24

it's a bit big feminists. So

3:27

I have a great big responsibility

3:29

towards them. The So. Have

3:31

you had decisions that you had to. Make

3:33

for everybody that. You. Couldn't figure

3:35

out what the right choices. Yes,

3:42

If. Any there that says indefensible Today

3:44

i decided to build a thin to

3:46

i lie down and apartments and fan

3:48

unison of are you available or them.

3:51

I'm taking them and dishonest with up

3:53

and an empty land and attends. The

3:57

lawyers going to be lifelong. I had

4:00

to make this the pigeon soda things.

4:02

Unfortunately, No. It's became

4:04

our team is like that. know I

4:06

have to walk again. So yeah and

4:08

it's it's it's not really. it's not

4:10

easy says Jim and I was trying

4:12

to. Develop breath situ a

4:14

person on databases. Is

4:16

there anybody in the family that is

4:19

has a tense do you have? Did.

4:21

Yes we have of Gaia I had

4:23

this year. know. Their

4:26

birth of the families of them is indiana

4:28

Few minutes ago a few minutes ago I

4:30

was having this debate with my sister that's

4:33

what they okay I do I'm pick lance

4:35

because is pregnant and t don't wanna do

4:37

that every in that in turn to said

4:40

level cameo still for. Like

4:42

a one kilometer away the tanks and. She

4:45

say that we're gonna suffer more. That least we

4:47

are We happy with the mean to be. It

4:49

was a bit. About. Having

4:52

them via susa best because you know when

4:54

you are fleeing and a thin to best

4:56

known for bathrooms are that privacy while I'm

4:58

saying item what I find a way to

5:01

build a bathroom for them. This.

5:04

Week that I'm talking to yourself. It

5:06

isn't the first time he's moved. And

5:08

convince his sister's to move to. They

5:11

started the war into Ballarat in the northern

5:13

part of Gaza. And

5:15

October seventh when Hamas attacked Southern

5:17

as round and killed around twelve

5:20

hundred people that the majority civilians

5:22

in their homes at work enjoying

5:24

a music festival took about two

5:26

hundred and forty people hostage. You

5:29

sister immediately moved his family from to

5:32

Ballarat to his parents' house and a

5:34

nearby city, beit Lahiya, but they moved

5:36

the very next day at company. For

5:40

their. On October

5:42

ninth, Israeli airstrikes hit to

5:44

Ballarat and I again. on

5:46

October twelfth, nineteenth, twenty second,

5:48

Thirty first. November first second

5:50

for Us and on. To

5:53

Bali and now has massive craters

5:55

several yards deep. Uses.

5:58

His family and a sisters. Ah

6:00

fled to various relatives and friends in

6:02

the north and to Israel. Told people

6:04

in the north to me since. They

6:07

had cousins and communists in the south of

6:09

Gaza. So. He and his family

6:12

drove there and convinced her sister's to

6:14

come to. He. Says on

6:16

the way the cars in front of them and

6:18

behind. Them for bombed. Infineon

6:21

as they say to the relatives you

6:23

safe and his wife and his mom

6:25

and his kids and sisters and their

6:27

families. Everyone stayed with cousins and relatives

6:29

and different. Apartments at birth City. Until

6:32

you, Sir Fred a leaflet that fell

6:34

from the sky. It

6:36

said you must evacuate immediately and go

6:39

to shelters in the city of Rasa.

6:41

The. City of Communists is a dangerous

6:43

combat zone. Forewarned:

6:45

Is forearmed. Was. Signed

6:47

The Israeli Defense Forces. That's

6:50

when he fled to Russia with his wife

6:52

and his kids. By. That

6:55

point, over fifteen thousand people in

6:57

Gaza had been killed. The. Majority

7:00

civilians. The.

7:02

Place use of for x the Nrc.

7:04

Had rented an office and Raza in the area

7:06

the Israelis were now saying was a safe. Zone.

7:09

Yourself. Most his immediate family into

7:12

the office. Or he was when I called

7:14

him. Where. He is now and

7:16

Rasa. And his

7:18

sisters and their families. Aren't. So

7:20

sure they want to follow this time. Css.

7:24

From the moment he got to Russia has

7:26

been pushing his sister's inside the and us

7:28

to come. He's been at

7:30

that for almost a week. To

7:33

be honest or each one of them have

7:35

it's own personality and the have to persuade

7:37

over we are no. One has a

7:39

h one of them. One. Of

7:41

them says says worry about had further a

7:44

low and mother and daughter okay there must

7:46

have been much safer than the suit. I'll

7:48

build them a sense but I want to

7:50

make sure that you are with me it

7:52

I got a big them also the other

7:54

one I had to the same of so

7:56

it's okay to bring your father in law

7:58

on that anti semitic as. The and

8:00

but I wanted to come here. What?

8:02

About the woman I'm trying to keep doing

8:04

it though a noble thing that's his anger

8:07

and sees them more stubborn one it as

8:09

he then just when we came the south

8:11

there was no military or police on the

8:13

ground. she the shoes and his father in

8:15

law and mother and are a few. They

8:17

had a fight with them when I told

8:19

them that I want my sister with me

8:22

and he has up for our go because

8:24

they didn't expect was coming. And

8:26

hadn't thought about how each time

8:28

he has to sort of mentally

8:30

convince yourself that the place that

8:32

year end. Which is feeling okay

8:34

at that moment. Might not

8:37

feel okay. Very san. Because

8:39

then the when new who would ever

8:42

imagine that says a the tanks wouldn't

8:44

be in the center of Jobaria camp.

8:47

Or who would ever imagined that they would be

8:49

insists a hospital. These

8:52

things. We never imagined that it wouldn't

8:54

be a real thing as we're seeing

8:56

by our own eyes. We do. We

8:58

never thought about that. Yusuf

9:01

was lobbying sisters to move aside as

9:03

a kid. But. Honestly, he

9:05

himself was an alley totally sir

9:07

about bringing them to Raza. The

9:10

evacuation order it wasn't for all

9:12

of engine s. There. Was

9:14

no available housing and rafa not that

9:17

he could find and some units. they

9:19

had mattresses, a bathroom, And

9:21

a sister had move cities twice

9:23

already with kids in laws. So.

9:26

Maybe they were fine. But.

9:29

Then he says as he heard the Israeli

9:31

military was now in a part of communist

9:33

he'd been staying in with his family just

9:36

a few days before. So.

9:38

Maybe they weren't sign? Yes,

9:41

If kept searching for new

9:43

information. Good as everyone he met

9:45

look everywhere on line. Except.

9:47

A few places he avoided. I

9:50

don't open the my feasible

9:52

for example or and Instagram

9:54

because all my friends from

9:56

Gaza bear. Because

9:58

it's either. didn't

12:00

want it to be that the one who was

12:02

giving the news. Oh, Yousuf, so you

12:04

didn't you just couldn't bring yourself to tell him

12:06

what you had heard? Yes. Even

12:11

my mother who is with me now doesn't

12:13

know. Is it her brother?

12:17

Yes. And

12:19

you're not going to tell her? Definitely

12:21

not. And

12:24

I'm saying that here because I'm sure they

12:28

don't understand English first of all. I

12:30

think they won't listen. Sorry

12:33

for that but they haven't gotten they won't listen

12:35

to this podcast to know from this podcast. And

12:41

another time that my

12:44

brother Aloh, his sister was killed

12:47

with her seven children. Also

12:50

they called me because they have his family

12:52

reach out to me because they cannot reach

12:54

him. And

12:56

asked me to tell him that his sister was

12:58

killed with her entire family. And

13:02

that was painful.

13:06

It wasn't easy. It

13:09

was I don't want to

13:11

be in that position again. I

13:15

always don't Yanny. It's one of the first time

13:17

that I really speak about these things. It's

13:20

easy to wait for me that I

13:23

always in front of all the one around

13:25

me. I'm the man who's managing everything and

13:27

supporting anyone in need. And if you need

13:29

anything the best one to call is Yousef.

13:32

Now I'm helpless, useless.

13:37

I cannot do anything. I cannot even manage

13:42

my own need. So

13:45

if your uncle comes up your mom mentions him or

13:47

your wife says oh I wonder how he's doing. You

13:49

will not say anything. It

13:52

happens and I didn't say anything. Yes it

13:54

happens. I'm not going to say anything. My

14:00

brain was circling around and I was like, okay,

14:02

you have to tell her. She

14:04

has, she deserves to know that her

14:06

brother is dead. And I

14:09

was like, no. It's

14:11

her right to know and she will

14:14

blame me a lot when she knows

14:16

that I was knowing without telling her. I

14:20

have to shut down, my brain is like, no, you

14:22

turn off. It's not your role now. Not

14:25

your what? It's

14:27

not your role. It's not your role. It's functioning now. Yeah.

14:30

Focus on building tents. That's,

14:33

I have to be honest, we

14:35

have, I have plenty of

14:38

to-do list. On my list is many

14:40

things. My priority is now it's the

14:42

time to secure my family and

14:45

manage their needs more than anything

14:47

else. For

14:50

me, looking for their

14:52

safety, it's not about

14:54

them only. It's more about

14:56

me. I cannot imagine

14:58

for a moment losing one of

15:01

them, one of my sisters. It

15:04

has to be me before them. Because

15:09

I don't have the strength to, even

15:13

to think about losing one of them. That's

15:16

why I'm doing it not because of you, it's because

15:18

of me. I am don't have

15:20

that I'm weak to

15:22

have the strength to

15:25

handle losing any one of them. I

15:28

don't have that strength. Do you

15:30

think they do it for you? Then

15:35

they came to Haniiness with me before me. No

15:39

one was, no one agreed, it was really hard

15:41

and I had to fight with my mother. But

15:44

they came because I

15:46

want them to be with me. So

15:50

they do it for you? That

15:53

time, yes, but for me. And

15:55

this time? This

15:58

time, I think. I'll

16:00

prepare everything, I will prepare the

16:02

tents, I'll find you a place, then I'll

16:04

move you once, when everything's ready to have

16:07

you. And what pushed me to

16:09

finish everything today is that Benjamin

16:12

Netanyahu, if he was serving Hezbollah, he

16:14

was like, saying, Hezbollah,

16:17

you should stop what you are doing,

16:19

because if it's not a war, we

16:21

will turn Beirut into Gaza and Hanyounis.

16:24

So I was like, okay, now it's Hanyounis, and

16:26

I need to evacuate them from there. They are

16:28

there in the center of Hanyounis. Did

16:30

you send them that quote? Yep,

16:35

because a lot of people stay

16:37

until the last moment, and when they

16:39

evacuate, they evacuate under bombing. And I

16:41

don't want my sister to experience that.

16:46

What does the tent look like? So

16:50

there is two types of tents. Now I became

16:52

expert, by the way. I was going to ask you

16:54

how you know how to build tents so quickly. So

16:57

when I get it through NRC, where

17:00

I work, and there are two of

17:02

us with instructions, that was easy. The

17:04

other one is like wooden stakes with

17:06

plastic. The hardest part was finding a

17:10

suitable place to rent a small

17:12

land, not in round in the

17:15

streets. It's an agricultural area,

17:17

a bit sandy everywhere.

17:19

So you rent a land?

17:22

You didn't just... I'm sorry,

17:24

what? It was a

17:26

massive strike. Just now? Yes.

17:32

Another strike.

17:34

They are getting crazy somehow. All of this

17:36

is Hanyounis. The explosions

17:39

are in Hanyounis right now? Yeah,

17:41

yeah, yeah. Another

17:44

one. What's going on? I'll

17:51

call you in a minute. No problem. One

17:56

minute I'll call you back. Take your time. Bye. It

17:59

seems really... Hi.

18:08

Hello. Hi.

18:11

Yes, sorry. Is everybody okay? Make sure

18:13

that they're still alive. Yeah, they're alive. Do

18:17

you literally write, are you

18:19

alive? Yeah, it was a funny message for

18:21

my sister. Are you alive? Wait,

18:24

that's funny? Yeah, because

18:27

I had to send a smile and

18:29

emoji is laughing. That's how we are

18:31

talking always. And even when I'm with

18:33

them, like, okay, we have one more

18:36

night to live. Let's enjoy it. Baby,

18:38

do that. It's okay. So you wrote

18:40

her, are you alive, smiley face? Yeah.

18:45

Oh my god. Yeah.

18:47

And she writes back, yes. Or she

18:49

laughs. Yeah,

18:52

she laughs. I should say that it's a bit calm.

18:55

A bit calm. Okay. I don't know what it means, a

18:57

bit calm, but yeah. I'll

19:02

let you go. I've taken so much of your time.

19:05

Thank you so much. And tomorrow, what's

19:07

going to happen is your sisters are going to

19:09

move? Yeah,

19:11

this is going to be the early thing for me to do in

19:13

the morning because I don't want them to move

19:16

under the bombing. So I want to keep

19:18

with them when it's a bit calm and

19:21

manageable without risks. So

19:24

I'll do it in the early morning, but maybe

19:26

because of the strain, I

19:29

need to assess the situation tomorrow morning.

19:32

I promise them that we may make decisions

19:34

together this time tomorrow morning. But

19:37

you've already made the decision that you want them

19:39

to go. Yes. Okay. I hope you have

19:44

an easy night and I will check in

19:46

with you tomorrow. That's a good phrase.

19:48

Easy night. Okay. InshaAllah. Thank you. Thank

19:50

you. Okay. Bye. Thank you.

19:53

Bye-bye. Hi,

19:58

Yousaf. Hello. Did your

20:00

sister's move today? Ah

20:03

unfortunately not yet to do. They

20:05

were refusing to leave without the

20:07

bathroom but today they were like

20:09

have to thank them as I

20:12

explore frozen that tomatoes gonna be

20:14

were. To be about from total my

20:16

and my my best to make it happen. I

20:19

want to jump in and say a little bit

20:21

about what use is doing his best looks like.

20:24

An. Incomplete summary of that particular

20:26

day. He. Spent the

20:28

morning trying to track down trucks that the

20:30

Norwegian Refugee Council where he works. The.

20:33

Tracks were full of aid Things like setting

20:35

tense buckets for water that sit have arrived

20:37

at the border, but he couldn't check on

20:39

mine if they were there because the system.

20:42

Was down and the phones weren't working

20:44

so he went and person wandered around

20:46

looking at plate numbers. Could. Not

20:48

find the tracks. Then he

20:51

went to the market to find medicine

20:53

for his wife. Manal was sick, couldn't

20:55

find medicine. In.

20:57

The midst of others he got a call from

20:59

another relative who was fleeing and needed a place

21:02

to stay and Rafa. Yes yes you

21:04

can com is Have told them. When.

21:06

More tense. Near his

21:08

sister's tense use of saw a guy building

21:10

a bathroom. Tired. That guy

21:12

that he's busy until tomorrow. The.

21:15

Bathroom guy told us he needed

21:17

to find supplies so use of

21:19

spent hours searching for cement, stones

21:21

and a water tank. He

21:23

found a water tank but it was in a

21:25

different part of that that so use of paid

21:28

more than the price of the water tank to

21:30

get it transferred and. I

21:32

was picturing like a hole in the ground

21:34

that you're gonna build near. You're gonna dig

21:36

mirror. The tense by

21:38

your building an actual bathroom.

21:40

With water and said officer actually

21:43

both to have a condition from

21:45

West Sussex. So. Is

21:47

that the first thing for you? tomorrow? Definitely

21:51

as as will be happening for

21:53

sure to of the goes. Down.

21:56

Is. Sealed. Two.

21:59

Hours ago the list lyrics and as

22:01

side me of them and six minutes

22:03

to half an hour or more just

22:05

trying to call trying to call it

22:07

couldn't be genuine, a freak me out

22:09

and my head I can attended the

22:11

situation again He he and I managed

22:13

to reach my sister has seen ends

22:15

up fine but as for lots of

22:18

doesn't matter mumbling what we have fun.

22:21

And Baths was on. This is is

22:23

when we agreed. Solas Tomato you're moving

22:25

to and I would come to the

22:27

Kyoto more. Oh. You didn't.

22:31

Give. Them so she is safe.

22:33

Definitely agreed. Yeah yeah. I

22:36

have been. Facilitate. Free

22:39

cell it is at him like yeah I we're

22:41

recording of something because my son this as a

22:43

no. That's okay. I like Yang

22:45

and How Odyssey. Three

22:47

it and a half. Two and a

22:49

Helios about second about. As

22:53

humans. global. Variable

22:55

Annuity. Last

22:58

night we have to have to stay awake until.

23:01

I meant who does Chemistry book without?

23:03

Being kissed. Thousand

23:06

time cheeks until he

23:08

sleep. Sometimes.

23:11

When he feel that I'm tired of kissing

23:14

him, give me his hands. So

23:17

that you haven't close to you exactly

23:19

here he he he likes to give

23:21

you some are sometimes rookie can kiss

23:23

my ass and and i we get

23:25

this habit but i'll either minded than

23:27

of it's okay. I'm

23:31

really grateful for that. The rain it's

23:33

still trading you them that produce. The

23:36

Sound of All Ming and also you can use it

23:39

on the Hooked on. The stakes are. We.

23:41

Are lucky today we can. I can. We.

23:43

Can manipulate that saw any so

23:46

yelled tell them and the night

23:48

if the here and know as

23:50

raining it's raining and feigning spot

23:52

on the side feigning any. In

23:55

law. at the

23:58

beginning i went was a

24:00

bit easy

24:02

to convince them that this is fireworks

24:04

or thunder strike, but then even my

24:07

daughter ilia, which is five years old now

24:10

can understand that this is like

24:13

even my son aha does two years and a

24:15

half and he can feel like a bombing this

24:17

is from airplane and

24:20

he keep using this word gasa gasa for which

24:22

me and strikes and

24:27

What the hell that's another massive

24:29

ass right Is

24:33

it close to you? Oh, no,

24:35

it was close you would hear it. Okay. Okay I

24:41

failed to convince

24:43

them that this is not a war

24:45

and to I failed that They

24:48

know that this is a war in that age And

24:51

they see how we are shouting. My

24:53

my sisters are crying or it's not

24:56

enough anymore For my children to when

24:58

they feel panic from bombing to run

25:00

towards us They

25:04

start scream without even running towards

25:06

us because Somehow

25:09

they understood that we are we don't

25:11

have that ability to protect them And

25:15

that that's something really awful

25:19

When you you understand that your children

25:22

understand that you cannot protect them When

25:27

I start to feel used in front of my children and

25:29

I when I found that I cannot protect my children I I deeply regret

25:31

it because You

25:35

regret what what is the meaning as a father? I regret

25:37

having children here What is the meaning for me as a

25:40

father if I cannot protect them? You

25:43

regret having children having children in Gaza? Yes

25:48

Definitely, I regret I

25:54

made them I made that decision

25:56

and I had children in Gaza where I

25:58

know the consequences I wasn't imagining that

26:00

we will go through this because

26:03

I am a man of responsibility. I'm

26:05

responsible for these children to secure their

26:07

life and future. If

26:09

I know that they will live through this, I

26:13

would never, ever even get married

26:15

here. You would

26:17

never get married. Is that what you said? Yes.

26:19

Yes. Yeah. Is

26:22

it part of that feeling like I should have

26:24

known not to do this or? It's

26:27

I should never did that decision. Yes.

26:30

Hello. Hi, Yousuf. Do

26:34

you do you have a couple of minutes? Yeah,

26:38

yeah. How did today

26:40

go? Oh,

26:42

it was a really, really long day. That's

26:45

what really early and was a lot of

26:47

things to do. Did

26:50

they move? Yeah. They moved? I

26:53

brought them on. Yeah, they moved. Wow,

26:55

you did it. It

26:58

was really a lot. Last night they

27:00

were texting me about a lot of bonding next,

27:02

the house next to them was bombed,

27:06

another house behind them was bombed. And so they wanted to

27:08

move. They wanted to go hel

27:10

us. Yousuf the house next to them? Yes. I'm

27:13

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

27:16

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

27:18

sorry. I'm sorry. Yousuf the

27:20

house next to them was bombed last night?

27:23

Yes. Yeah, last night was

27:25

a retache when they started texting me that

27:28

the bombing is around us. What?

27:31

Yeah. But there was an airstrike

27:33

that hit a property right next to them.

27:36

Yes. But it's a drone strike.

27:38

So, okay. We have different

27:41

types of missiles that Israelis are

27:43

using. So

27:46

there is the S-16 which warplanes and this American-made

27:49

weapon that destroy entire neighborhoods.

27:53

The drones have smaller bombs

27:56

that destroy a house or half of

27:58

the house. They were afraid

28:00

that the bombing might be in

28:02

the same house because it's four floors

28:05

and they are the first ones.

28:07

That's why they didn't argue with me. They

28:10

were like, yes, let's move. Did

28:14

you think about going in the night?

28:17

Yeah, I told them I'm coming. You

28:19

texted back, I'm coming. Yes,

28:22

and they were freaking out that I will come.

28:26

My wife was in the preventative. My

28:28

ancestors were texting me, do not come. There is a

28:30

lot of bombing in the street in front of the

28:32

house. Do not come. Yousef

28:35

waited till the sun came up and

28:37

then drove to Hanyunas. He

28:39

says on his way there, he could

28:41

hear gunfire and explosions all around him.

28:44

The first thing I did in the morning is I

28:47

went there, back up in the

28:49

car, my sisters and their children, and I

28:51

came and then I sent another car, like

28:54

a small van. Small

28:57

bus, talk and have the bags and

28:59

everything and my brothers in law. Was

29:02

there a part of you that felt

29:05

a little frustrated? I told

29:07

you guys you should have come earlier. I

29:10

didn't want to get to this. That's

29:13

exactly what the first thing I said today when

29:15

I met them. That

29:18

was how you greeted them? Yeah.

29:20

What did you say? I told you,

29:22

we don't want to tell a lot of bombing, a

29:24

lot of tanks. I

29:27

told you before, we don't need to

29:30

run away under shelling and bombing. What

29:33

now is it? Tell us. Every time

29:35

has to be the same situation. Overnight

29:37

you're worried about their survival and

29:39

you're panicked and you want to

29:41

drive to get them in the middle of

29:44

the night, but in the morning you greet them with, I

29:46

told you so. This is what I said was

29:48

going to happen. I

29:50

was blaming them. So

29:53

there is no discussion. We are leaving. So

29:55

you didn't like hug them and cry and

29:57

say, I'm so glad you survived, you said.

30:01

No, we have a different type

30:03

of relation. It's not about tagging. I

30:05

was laughing. You should

30:08

have died. I should

30:10

be in the morgue now. This

30:13

is how I'm with my sisters. And did they laugh? What

30:16

did they say? Hadid was like, you know, actually

30:20

they would start to give me orders quickly. You

30:22

need to talk to our cousin. Imagine, because

30:25

he was supposed to, you need to invite

30:27

him. You have to talk to him nicely

30:29

and push to bring them with us,

30:31

because they've taken care of us for a long time.

30:33

Now we have to repay them. Also

30:35

go to our uncle Ayman, because they wanted

30:38

to have invited by you, not us. It's

30:40

like, okay, I'll do this. And you give

30:43

back the like, and you do that. And

30:47

they refused to leave before cleaning everything. They

30:50

wouldn't leave without cleaning the house? Yep,

30:52

cleaning the house, kitchen, bathroom. Even

30:54

though you're fleeing bombings. Yes, because they

30:57

would, yeah, that was actually weird from

30:59

them. But this is how they think,

31:01

and I really respect it, because we

31:04

leave it better than the way we receive. This

31:07

is how we should respect, and we have to clean. And

31:11

then you left? Yep. Okay.

31:13

Then we left. What

31:15

is it? It was

31:17

the first time for them since the beginning of the war to

31:20

see the sea. Oh. They

31:23

were very, very excited and

31:25

happy. How did

31:27

they respond to the tents when you

31:29

showed them where they're staying? Yeah, I

31:31

was expecting that they would be like,

31:34

ah, it's not my best, but they

31:36

were happy. It's like, okay, it's

31:38

nice, good. Did you feel

31:40

nervous? Yeah,

31:42

yeah, yeah. I want them to

31:44

see that, to prove for them that I

31:46

did my best. And I

31:48

was thinking, when them inside the

31:50

tents, what do you think? It's warm. There's

31:53

two layers for the tent, one for the

31:55

effort train and one inside. I was

31:58

trying to convince them. as you know

32:01

these same sale people who try to

32:03

convince you to buy something. That

32:06

was you? That was great. We'll

32:12

go to the bathroom here, we'll get

32:14

something there, here we can turn the

32:16

fire. And

32:18

I was like, oh, one minute, I'll get

32:20

you internet tomorrow and I will get you

32:23

light here, our neighbors have a

32:25

solar panel, he will connect us some light.

32:28

I was doing that sale sale man, and they

32:30

were happy. They

32:33

were? Did they give you the response you wanted? Yes,

32:36

okay, that's nice. Also,

32:39

I went in our way

32:41

coming, we went through one

32:43

of the camps

32:45

that people are just building tents

32:47

on the streets. And

32:50

they saw how miserable the situation is. So,

32:54

I meant to go there before

32:56

taking them to our place.

32:59

You did it on purpose. Exactly,

33:02

because I want them to see how people

33:04

are living. So,

33:06

to prove for them that

33:08

I did my best managing what

33:10

I got. When

33:13

I met them today, I found out that

33:15

they didn't eat it for two

33:17

days, they only ate rice. So,

33:21

the first thing I was thinking

33:23

about was preparing a really big meal for

33:25

them. And they were surprised I had barbecues

33:27

and kebab. And I was like, no, no,

33:30

no. So, they had a meal?

33:32

You had a meal together? A very

33:34

big one. It was very expensive one, but

33:36

I was like, okay, I'll feed you until

33:38

you had more than enough. Wow.

33:42

So, after fasting for two

33:45

days, it was to provide

33:47

them with something really good. Did

33:50

they appreciate it? Oof, a

33:52

lot. They were very happy. I was very

33:54

happy also having this meal. getting

36:00

inside, no one goes to

36:02

the bathroom, Khalas, until

36:04

my sister finishes. Was she

36:06

seriously thinking about going back to Khenyunas?

36:11

I don't think so. It

36:13

shows me that he needs me. I

36:15

need to find a solution now. She's

36:17

above the limit. The

36:21

whole week, Yousuf had been telling me that

36:23

he needed his family close to him so he

36:25

could think rationally about what was going on

36:28

around him. Now,

36:30

they're here, with all

36:32

the joy and irritation that comes with having

36:34

family close by. They're

36:36

together in Rasa. They've

36:39

moved from the very north of Gaza

36:41

all the way down. The

36:43

furthest south they can go, there

36:45

is nowhere else. They're at the

36:47

bottom edge of the Gaza Strip on the border

36:49

with Egypt. Yousuf can

36:52

think a little bit about

36:54

what's next. What

36:57

makes it a bit harder for me is

36:59

that I've been outside Gaza. I know how

37:01

it looks like outside. The

37:04

first time I've been outside Gaza was last

37:06

year. And

37:08

it was for your job? Yes, to

37:10

Norway, with an RCA. When

37:15

I arrived to Oslo, Norway,

37:19

in the airport, they stabbed

37:21

my passport and she said, it will come

37:23

and it was weird for me. There is

37:25

no interrogation. They're not going to question me

37:27

anything. They're not going to look for me

37:29

as a terrorist. They're

37:32

not going to check my bags or my

37:34

body. They

37:36

just allow me to enter. It

37:39

feels weird

37:41

in a way that I want them to check me

37:43

and interrogate me. This is not the

37:45

usual. Come on, guys.

37:47

You have to ask me some questions. Come

37:50

on, you have to ask me something. You have

37:52

to ask me where I live or who

37:54

is my neighbor or what I do or

37:57

what's my relation with the government.

38:00

and we have to have effort to do anything.

38:02

Come on. And I

38:06

saw how the world is

38:08

massive. For

38:10

me, Gaza was a bit big, you know, how Gaza

38:13

is a very, very narrow piece of land. And

38:15

for me, it was huge. But when I saw the world outside

38:17

Gaza, I was like, guys, we are living

38:20

in a small neighborhood. What

38:22

felt different? Everything

38:25

is different. Can't imagine

38:27

how I was feeling when I saw the first

38:29

time an airplane or an airport. I

38:31

felt like I'm four years old. And

38:34

I was saying always, I'm Gaza more than

38:36

any Gaza in here, because I've never been

38:38

outside. And

38:41

when I went outside, I understood how it

38:43

feels. I saw how people

38:45

are living their life, and

38:47

I totally understand why

38:49

they don't really care about us. They are

38:52

busy with their lives. My

38:56

entire generation has never been outside

38:58

Gaza. And

39:03

what my children, what

39:08

they have been through is

39:12

something unimaginable, and they don't deserve

39:14

that. What's

39:18

the world expecting from this generation

39:20

after 15 years, when

39:22

they lived through all of this? What

39:25

do you expect? More

39:28

violence. How

39:30

are they going to think rationally?

39:34

Do you worry about that with your own children? I

39:37

made that decision, and when this

39:39

war finished, if we survived, I

39:41

wouldn't take them outside. I'm

39:45

not allowing my children to go

39:47

through this situation

39:50

again. You

39:53

want to leave. I

39:59

know it's not. Gonna be really that difficult.

40:03

Gonna. Part of Us. Annie.

40:07

And I know it's.

40:11

But. It's it's really

40:13

hard to think about that Now to be honest

40:15

in the middle of the war with I made

40:17

the decision that without thinking about the i'm not

40:19

gonna city is. A

40:23

than thirty now. So any going

40:26

to bed? Yeah, I

40:29

like a good. For this

40:31

does shooting. Yes,

40:34

Yes! And.

40:48

The story was produced by Nancy update

40:50

edited by me and Nancy and a

40:52

manual Barry Mix by Katherine May Mondo

40:54

that checked by Gene Hackman so thanks

40:56

a the Santa Love to be a

40:59

Shout cat Any Hawali on Us Baba

41:01

Brian Caster Tor sit on my Glasgow.

41:03

Pressure comes you from the Bbc Chicago

41:05

and P R X Public Radio International.

41:07

Will be back this weekend just couple

41:09

days now with an officer for you.