0:01

A quick warning, there are curse words that are

0:03

un-beeped in today's episode of the show. If

0:05

you prefer a beeped version, you can

0:08

find that at our website, thisamericanlife.org. WBZ

0:12

Chicago, This American Life. I'm Howard Glass.

0:14

Okay, so listen, right now we're going

0:16

to be a little bit quiet because

0:19

we're going to have a family talk. Are

0:21

you ready for a family talk? Wait, wait,

0:23

wait, wait, Dad. What? Brian LeBaron is the

0:25

dad of a big family, seven

0:27

kids in all. He mostly grew up

0:30

in the United States, but his father and most of his

0:32

family is Mexican. He moved back there a few years ago.

0:35

Back in November, he gathered everybody together

0:37

for a family meeting, outside on a

0:39

patio. Most of the kids were

0:41

on a long bench, holding pillows. Lexi

0:44

thinks that this is an important moment in

0:47

our family, and I agree with her. Lexi

0:49

is Lexi Harrison-Cripps, the journalist that recorded

0:51

this meeting, because she knew what some of

0:54

the kids did not know, that Brian was planning to

0:56

run for a seat in Mexico's House of

0:58

Representatives. What does that mean? I

1:00

want to work for the government. That's what

1:02

that means. And since I'm going to be

1:04

running, it's going to be a lot

1:06

of work for me. And I'm going to

1:08

be traveling a lot. I'm going to be away from home

1:11

a lot. And when

1:13

we go places, people are going to want pictures. So maybe

1:15

you're walking with me and somebody will take a picture of

1:17

us. We don't know how that's

1:19

going to be. We

1:21

don't know exactly what that's going to be like,

1:23

right? One

1:27

of the things also is that

1:30

because of

1:32

certain things that happened in our family, now

1:35

there's people in our town that may not want to vote

1:37

for me. And it might even

1:39

cause people to want to be mean to our family.

1:42

OK? And so

1:44

I want to have a talk, Mom, and I wanted to have

1:46

a talk with you so

1:49

that you can be ready. Not

1:51

just ready for the campaign, which is months away.

1:54

But he's called his family meeting right now, in

1:56

November, because some things have come up that's not

1:58

only going to affect his candidacy. but

2:00

everyone in the family in the next few days. What's

2:03

happened is that Macario, their 17-year-old,

2:07

has just made a big public decoration on

2:09

Instagram, telling the world that he's gay, which

2:12

in some places would be like whatever, but

2:15

this family is Mormon, living in

2:17

a tight-knit fundamentalist community in Mexico. Macario

2:20

and the other kids go to a fundamentalist Mormon

2:22

school that very much disapproves

2:24

of homosexuality. Ryan

2:26

figured kids at school might start saying

2:29

cruel and hateful stuff to Macario and

2:31

his brothers and sisters. Alrighty,

2:33

some classmates were posting pretty awful comments

2:35

on Instagram. Ryan wanted all

2:37

of his children to be prepared. Okay

2:40

guys, so guess what? You

2:42

know how a lot of times we always went

2:45

to church and we always hear about people

2:47

that are going to date and get

2:49

married. Three of the kids listening to this

2:51

are young. There's nine-year-old

2:53

Ariella, seven-year-old Chanel, and

2:56

four-year-old Franco. What that means

2:58

is that before Brian can tell them, your brother is gay,

3:01

he first has to explain gay, the

3:03

whole idea of gayness to these little kids.

3:05

Chanel, this is more for you and Ariella,

3:07

okay? Have

3:10

you guys ever heard of the term gay? Oh,

3:13

what? Gay. Oh, yeah. What

3:15

does it mean? Gay?

3:17

Yeah. Like people that

3:20

wear necklaces are... So

3:22

boys that wear necklaces that are for girls? Good

3:25

guess, he tells them. And then launches

3:27

into his explanation. It can be... He keeps it

3:29

simple. But when people say the word gay, usually

3:33

it means either two boys that like each other...

3:36

I knew it. And maybe even

3:38

when they want to get married, or two girls that like

3:40

each other, or that maybe even want to get married. And

3:43

somebody who feels that way, just like

3:45

I think I look at mom and I think she's beautiful,

3:48

there can be boys that look at other boys and

3:51

think they're beautiful. Okay? Does

3:53

that make sense? Yes, all around. On

3:57

to the big reveal. Well, guess what?

4:01

Macario, he

4:03

thinks that boys are beautiful, and

4:06

he thinks that he wants to fall in love with a

4:08

boy. Okay,

4:10

and that's what people call

4:12

gay. Okay? Now that doesn't

4:15

mean that something's wrong with Macario. Macario is

4:17

perfect just the way that he is, and we love him

4:19

and we're always going to love him. But

4:21

why do they call it gay? That's just

4:23

the name they gave it. Why do they call boys boys and girls girls?

4:26

There's just a name for everything. I should say that

4:28

two years ago, this is not how Brian would have

4:31

talked about being gay. He was raised

4:33

to believe that it was a choice, and sinful. But

4:36

when Macario came out to him, Macario explained

4:38

that he'd already tried to pray and fast

4:40

his way out of being gay. And it

4:43

was impossible. And Brian believed

4:45

him. He changed how he saw all of it. And

4:48

he talks about Macario with his family. Macario

4:51

is sitting exactly in between his two little

4:53

sisters as they go around with gay memes.

4:56

And he smiles, like a mystery contestant on

4:58

an old-timey game show, whose

5:00

secret identity was just revealed. I

5:02

didn't really know what was going on. And

5:05

did your dad tell you, okay, here's what

5:07

we're going to explain to the kids in

5:09

this meeting. Nope. It was just, I

5:12

was going to say I was gay. And it

5:15

literally, it was not very planned out.

5:18

And there's of course, the Macario. He

5:20

says about good. Do you hear his dad say all these things

5:22

in front of everybody? Next,

5:24

Brian explained to the little ones in the

5:27

family. The kids in school might

5:29

be pretty mean about Macario. And they'll need to be

5:31

ready. When people say, oh,

5:33

your brother is gay, he's going to go to the devil.

5:36

Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's

5:38

what people would say. That's what

5:40

people would say. Well, that's not

5:42

true. They'd eat and then Macario

5:44

would say. No, that ain't going

5:46

to go to the devil. So I

5:50

want you to be ready because little

5:52

kids can be mean sometimes. No.

5:56

Macario tells them about some of the mean things kids have

5:58

said at school. There was this one

6:00

kid. Um, their dad said they

6:03

can't do anything to legally kick me out of town, but

6:05

they can do everything in their power to make it

6:07

so that I want to be on

6:10

my own. And they just only

6:12

did that and are doing that

6:15

because I'm gay. That's the only reason.

6:18

And I know that they're just doing that because they've

6:20

been like told their whole life that I'm a terrible

6:22

person, anyone is a terrible person if they're gay. So,

6:25

I mean, I get where they're coming

6:28

from. But like, when

6:31

they started just saying shit, I mean,

6:33

started saying stuff about my friends, my

6:36

friends and like the people supporting me and then

6:38

like you guys, like how that guy said that.

6:40

He was like, no, we can't blame the devil

6:42

for this. It's their parents fault. Like they raised

6:44

him wrong. They like, I'm living in California, Western

6:46

culture, whatever. When they

6:49

said that, it just made me so bothered because I'm

6:51

like, you can like, I

6:53

don't know, you can get mad at me and think that I'm good

6:55

for that. All the people

6:57

who are supporting me. So,

7:01

everybody's on the same page, all

7:03

prepared. Macario's feeling great about

7:05

it. I think it's over, Red. You

7:08

got that right. Okay, I want to hug.

7:16

And when they go to school after this prep, none

7:18

of the things that Brian prepared them for happened.

7:22

School made a rule that nobody could talk about Macario. Overall,

7:25

most of the Mormon community continued to treat Macario

7:27

like they always had. Oh,

7:30

this was a little sad for nine-year-old Ariella,

7:32

who marched into school ready to tussle defender

7:34

beloved brother after the family meeting. She

7:37

said, well, I walked into class and

7:39

I just said, hi, everybody. How's it

7:41

going? Anything new? Happened

7:44

yesterday. And they're like, no. And

7:47

so she said, well, how about the day before? No,

7:50

nothing new. And she said, okay.

7:52

She just went on our day. So

7:55

I don't know. It didn't seem to pay the

7:57

younger kids at school. It was more Macario's class.

8:00

You know, I think the teenagers kind

8:03

of just may be shocked by it and

8:05

not understanding exactly what to think In

8:07

fact some teenagers set off a pretty frightening array

8:10

of firecrackers at their house Through

8:12

rocks wrapped in pieces of paper with Makaria's name

8:14

written on them Which is

8:16

scary kids and adults posted

8:18

comments online like the carriers you find

8:20

a tall tree and a rope should die

8:24

Brian and his wife Wendy took all the kids out

8:26

of the Mormon school But

8:29

the family had been prepped. They understood that

8:31

people might get mad about Makario And

8:33

inside the family the family meeting set the tone

8:36

It was a preemptive strike the main

8:39

car is gayness a non-issue a

8:41

non-negotiable fact They really

8:43

have had little questions not many

8:45

questions since then it seemed

8:48

to really not faze them at all It

8:50

was just okay, you know, that's

8:52

cool. What are we gonna do tomorrow? Can we

8:56

have a snack is there ice cream? Exactly

9:01

Well today in our program the power of a

9:03

family meeting drop some news like your

9:05

brother's gay Or the glass when people

9:07

remember I guess we're getting a divorce Then

9:10

there are the administrative sort of family meetings Parents

9:13

announced some changes and now we do the dishes

9:15

around here or take out the garbage or whatever

9:17

Everybody's gonna be doing their fair share What

9:20

a family meeting can and cannot accomplish Especially

9:23

in families with the kids do not want to go with the

9:25

parents plan as a show today.

9:27

Stay with us That

9:41

one slow decision process

9:43

that's mostly but maybe not completely

9:45

over Sometimes

9:47

when there's a family decision the family can keep

9:49

talking about it for months on

9:51

and off in the car meals whenever But

9:53

everybody weighing in with different points of view Over

9:56

the last few months. I've been talking to the parents in one family like

9:58

that back when I first chatted

10:00

with him in December, I asked the dad and the family

10:03

how often the topic comes up. We

10:05

are talking about that almost

10:08

in each minute of the day. Even

10:11

right now, before you

10:13

called, we were talking about what we're

10:15

gonna do. This

10:17

is a little town pinion. What he's talking about

10:19

with his wife, Michal, is where are they gonna live next?

10:22

Their youngest couple in Israel with three kids, nine,

10:25

11, and 13 at the time of this conversation,

10:28

both educators. He's head of

10:30

development, building a school and a campus for

10:32

Bedouins, nomadic Arab tribes. And

10:34

Michal? I'm an educational

10:36

counselor. No, she's a doctor of

10:39

education. Okay,

10:42

she's a doctor of education. Krotan,

10:44

why do you feel like you have to jump in and say

10:46

that? Because

10:49

we can end the conversation without

10:52

you to know that she's

10:55

really a doctor. Krotan is, perhaps

10:57

you can tell, somebody who's always quick to speak his mind,

10:59

sure of what he thinks. Michal's

11:01

more deliberative. They

11:03

used to live in the kibbutz in Israel, kibbutz Bay

11:06

Area on the border with Gaza. When

11:08

Hamas crossed that border on October 7th, like

11:11

so many families, they hid in the safe room in their house. Dozens

11:14

of their neighbors were killed, more at

11:17

Bay Area than at any kibbutz that day, one

11:19

in 10 people, including Michal's parents.

11:22

And when it was over, they and most

11:25

everyone else from the kibbutz were relocated to a tourist

11:27

hotel by the Dead Sea, an hour

11:29

and a half drive from their old home on the Gaza border.

11:32

The whole kibbutz is here. The

11:34

hotel is closed just for our kibbutz.

11:37

There are no guests from outside. We

11:39

are talking about something like 1,000 people inside

11:42

this hotel. You

11:44

have a lot of discussions

11:47

that just in the lobby.

11:50

Discussion is about where they're all gonna live next. In

11:52

December, when we first talked, it was just two months after the

11:54

attack, and each family had to decide would

11:57

they stay with the community? Would

11:59

they ever... never want to return to the kibbutz, where

12:01

they just gone through this traumatic assault. It's

12:04

one thousand people. You have a

12:06

lot of ideas. You have those

12:08

people who want to stay together

12:11

or whatever. The kibbutz will go.

12:13

And those who said no.

12:16

Lots of people, especially the older people, were sure they

12:18

wanted to go back and rebuild. People

12:21

with kids were all over the place. And

12:23

leaving a kibbutz, quitting kibbutz life is

12:26

a big deal. A kibbutz is

12:28

a special kind of tight-knit community. Kibbutz

12:31

team were originally set up as collective

12:33

farms, on socialist principles. And

12:35

the area is still run on the old

12:37

school socialist ideals most kibbutz team in Israel

12:39

have abandoned. For example, as a

12:41

member of the kibbutz, you turn over every cent that

12:43

you earn at your job, your entire paycheck,

12:46

to the collective. But the

12:48

kibbutz gives us everything we

12:50

need. And that means everything. They

12:53

give you a house to live in, cars to

12:55

drive, full health care, a gym and

12:58

a swimming pool, and a dining hall if you

13:00

don't want to cook, and spending money for necessities,

13:02

but also for fun stuff like family vacations, to

13:05

cover your kids' school and college. Children

13:07

spend all day every day with other kids their

13:09

age. That's a great way to raise kids. They

13:12

can roam around. But Chahd describes

13:14

what's so nice about kibbutz life this way. You

13:17

don't have any worries, you

13:19

know, mortgage or payments.

13:23

And you have a very strong

13:25

community that makes you

13:27

feel belong to something big. Mihaly

13:31

grew up this way on this kibbutz and loved it.

13:34

Rotan moved to Berry with her when they first got together.

13:36

He tasted some of the rules at

13:38

first but got used to life in this big extended family.

13:41

Now after October 7th, here

13:44

he was with all of them at this hotel figuring

13:47

out what to do next. And you know,

13:49

it's a hotel, it's

13:51

a nice space for three days of vacation,

13:54

but it's not the way of living.

13:56

You know, to see the smallest one... go

14:00

to sleep at something like midnight. And... You

14:03

don't have a family

14:06

environment. Michal and Lotham

14:08

were in one hotel room. The three kids were cooped

14:10

up in another, getting on each other's nerves and into

14:12

each other's hair. It's

14:14

hard to be a family in that scattered situation. It

14:17

was hard to supervise the kids. They

14:19

were gone on a day at work. Michal now had

14:22

a 90-minute commute, each way, to and

14:24

from her job. There

14:26

was school for the kids, but it was

14:28

a makeshift thing the kibbutz organized. Not real

14:30

school. It's more like a

14:32

baby-babysitting. The challenge, the big

14:34

challenge, is for the older children. They

14:38

don't want to go. After

14:40

just a few weeks of this, Lotham started to think,

14:43

this is not good for our children. Maybe we need to

14:45

get out of here, leave the hotel.

14:48

Leave our friends and family behind. I

14:51

realized that we're going

14:53

to be stuck here in the Dead

14:55

Sea for something like six, seven months.

14:58

It's not their home. Let's do

15:00

something else. Let's heal our

15:02

family. Lotham

15:04

was pushing to look

15:07

for another place. Michal was

15:09

not into this idea at all, moving

15:12

away from the hotel, from the other

15:14

kibbutz members. I understood

15:16

why he

15:18

wants to leave, but it

15:21

was hard for me to leave the people I

15:23

grew up with. These

15:25

are the people I know all my

15:28

life. So it was hard for me

15:30

to understand that I'm leaving them. For

15:33

me, I need to get used to the idea.

15:35

I need time. That's

15:38

the process with our relationship.

15:42

His password. Just

15:46

very quickly. If I decide

15:48

something, after I do my

15:50

own thing, I move forward.

15:53

I'm a slower person. I

15:56

need time to do things. They

16:05

had to decide if they would move out of the hotel. But

16:08

there was a bigger question they were going to have to face someday.

16:12

Should they move back to their kibbutz, near the Gaza

16:14

border? Like, ever.

16:17

At this point, it's unclear how long

16:19

the war will drag on. Over

16:22

1,600 Israelis have died, according to the

16:24

Israeli military, and over 29,000 Palestinians,

16:26

according to the Gaza Ministry of Health.

16:29

Other kibbutzniks, kibbutz members, told

16:32

me that they would only move back if somehow there were peace

16:34

at the border. Or, you

16:36

know, some conceivable path to some peace plan

16:38

that would seem fair to the Palestinians. So

16:41

the kibbutzniks wouldn't have to worry about future attacks

16:43

coming across the border. Which,

16:46

in a practical way, probably means

16:48

they won't be moving back anytime soon. But

16:51

Haan and Lotan tried to imagine what it would

16:53

take for them to return. You

16:55

know, Lotan was asking me a few

16:58

days ago, Do

17:00

you want to go to our home? Can

17:02

you go back to this house? Do

17:05

you want to go

17:07

back to a graveyard

17:09

that 92 of your

17:12

kibbutz members, including your

17:14

father and mother, murdered there? Do you want

17:17

to go back? You're going to

17:19

cross the places that you know

17:21

what happened there. The stories

17:23

will come out in front of your

17:25

eyes. It's a question. Okay,

17:28

so feel free to say as much or as little about this

17:30

as you want. I'd like to ask you just a little bit

17:32

about what happened with your family on October 7th, just

17:35

so people understand what

17:37

it is you'd be going back to. At

17:41

6.30 a.m., we had an unusual,

17:45

massive missile attack. And when

17:47

I say unusual, it's

17:50

not normal to have even one missile. But

17:53

that was really a

17:55

massive attack. So we went to the safe

17:57

room, closed the door, and the first time we had a

17:59

missile attack, thought I had is okay it's

18:01

6 30 a.m. we probably

18:03

will not go back to sleep let's turn

18:06

on the coffee machine. For

18:08

decades safe rooms have been required in

18:10

all new Israeli homes reinforced to withstand

18:12

rocket attacks. Soon Michael

18:14

and Lotan see on the kibbutz WhatsApp group that

18:16

attackers have made it inside the kibbutz but

18:19

they assume it's small maybe five or ten fighters

18:21

and they assume the army will be there soon.

18:24

But minutes after that when everyone was saying

18:26

they are here they are there they are

18:28

shooting at my house they are throwing grenades

18:30

and you know everyone who is living you

18:32

understand that they are spread all over the

18:34

kibbutz and then just close

18:37

the door and try to you know

18:39

find ropes and things like that in order

18:42

to tight the handle of the door because

18:44

people were trying to starting to write that

18:46

they are seeking to

18:48

open the safe room and taking

18:50

people outside and shoot them. We

18:53

should explain that the safe rooms are designed for missiles

18:55

coming in not for people coming in trying to

18:57

break into the safe room so they don't lock

18:59

from the inside. And that's

19:01

exactly because that that's

19:03

one you

19:06

know huge part of our family story because

19:08

on something like 9 15

19:11

Michal mothers was writing us in the WhatsApp

19:14

on the WhatsApp there are terrorists

19:16

near our house and then there are

19:18

tourists inside the house they are throwing

19:21

grenades they are shooting through the

19:23

safe room door. We didn't

19:27

understand that my dad

19:29

was shot while sitting

19:31

in the safe in the safe room the

19:34

bullets penetrate the

19:36

door and he and he was

19:38

wounded while sitting in the safe

19:40

room. Because brother

19:42

Yuval talked to the mom then. He

19:45

was telling her mom be strong keep

19:47

the door tight the army is on

19:49

his way he was lying there is

19:52

no army at the kibbutz but

19:54

she that she was a really strong

19:56

realistic woman she was saying to him

20:00

No, Yuval, I think this is the

20:02

last time we're going to talk. Please

20:05

tell everybody that we love

20:07

them. The last

20:09

message is on WhatsApp. I have Mikhal and her

20:11

brother saying, Mom, keep writing all the time. What's

20:14

happening with you? Mom, answer.

20:18

Their mom says, Dad was shot and

20:20

the Tehran grenades, they blew up

20:22

the safe room. And

20:25

at 10.04, she was writing on

20:27

the WhatsApp, help, help

20:29

twice. And that's the last word

20:31

we have. And now imagine

20:34

that we are sitting in our

20:36

safe room, one minute

20:38

walking from them, can do

20:40

nothing and realize that

20:43

we don't have any more mom or

20:46

dad for Mikhal, grandfather and grandmother for

20:48

our children. Do you tell the

20:50

children? Yes, they

20:52

heard. They knew. They

20:54

kept asking, what about grandpa

20:57

and grandma? And

21:00

the only answer I had was,

21:02

I don't know. I

21:05

didn't want to say something that it's not

21:07

true. So I just

21:09

told them that I don't know. It's

21:11

hard to hear that. I don't know. What

21:14

time does at this point, they realized they

21:16

needed to do anything they could think of to keep their

21:18

kids alive. But what I

21:20

had only is a baseball

21:22

bat, a dog that probably

21:25

will get killed the first time they're going to

21:27

go. And they were

21:29

hanging under our house. They

21:32

are mouse fighters. It seems like they

21:34

were using the storage space downstairs as a small

21:36

base, keeping weapons there. The

21:39

family heard explosions and gunfire. The

21:41

youngest, the boy again, is nine years old. And

21:44

my son, in a

21:47

terrified way, told us, Dad,

21:50

I don't want to

21:52

die here. And we looked

21:54

at him And told everyone, no, no

21:56

one is going to die here. We Have the

21:58

dog, the baseball bat. Then we are

22:01

in the second floor that

22:03

stuff a for just and

22:05

you'll have you are now

22:07

gonna write what you gonna

22:09

take when we gonna be

22:12

outside, when they gonna rescue

22:14

us and they may they

22:16

least. And

22:24

they waited for the morning after,

22:26

the afternoon and into the night.

22:29

China to make any noise at all. They.

22:31

Had no food, no water, someone had to

22:33

pee. they didn't waste basket where we buddy

22:35

hooked way. They. Would if

22:38

nineteen hours with the kids. What'd

22:41

they do all that time? Not

22:44

they didn't do nothing with

22:46

we. We did nothing. They

22:48

watch me. And.

22:51

Woke me up if i was

22:53

like fallen asleep because i was

22:55

a handling the and the end

22:57

of the don't tweet they baseball

23:00

bat and why they ever did

23:02

they do tight the door with

23:04

ropes and the like that they

23:06

heard the studio the explosion of

23:08

the i read they just. For.

23:11

Asylum they they were amazing.

23:14

They understand the situation. Funny

23:17

the I'm he came at midnight, rescued them, Because.

23:21

Of tell the next day chris

23:23

to kids could just take this

23:25

off the sun. Nine year old

23:27

and full day whispering in the

23:30

safe room is the most this

23:32

is i think the the frigid

23:34

one and he kept whispered three

23:37

days after that he noted and

23:39

we just you know brodie me

23:41

them dramas and a lego and

23:43

he he started to leave again

23:46

so it's okay. to

23:57

could ever go back and avebury

24:01

Do it really exactly the attack. Michael went home

24:03

again the first time to the kibbutz to

24:05

see what it was like. Going back

24:07

was very hard for me. When

24:10

I was there, I just shut myself. So

24:13

I just saw everything, but I was very...

24:17

How do you say this word? I don't know. No

24:20

picket. Very cool. I was very cool, yes.

24:24

Like your feelings were shut down. Exactly.

24:27

Yeah. I was there

24:29

for like 10 minutes. I took some stuff

24:31

that my daughter asked and

24:33

just... I couldn't stand...

24:36

It's not my home. It was so messy

24:39

and dirty and I

24:43

couldn't stay there. That's interesting. It

24:45

didn't even seem like your home. It just seemed like

24:47

some other... No. No.

24:50

It's not mine. Other

24:52

people I talked to who returned to the kibbutz scene told

24:54

me that walking into their homes, it was like everything was

24:56

frozen from when they ran out. Like it

24:58

was still October 7th. One

25:01

woman said she felt like she was watching herself in a

25:03

movie. She felt so distanced from it. One

25:05

man told me he tries to go back once a week to

25:08

try to absorb what's happened. I

25:10

couldn't even sit on my sofa. I

25:14

was there just for 10 minutes. I couldn't stay in

25:16

the house. So

25:19

when you think about going back there, what do you think? Like

25:21

going back there to try to live there? How

25:23

would that work? I don't

25:25

know. I don't know. That's

25:27

the big question. Some

25:30

days I'm telling to myself, yes, I want to

25:32

go back. And some days

25:34

I'm telling, what are you

25:36

thinking about? This is not a

25:38

place to live. It's a graveyard.

25:40

No, no, no. It's

25:44

still not... It's not a decision

25:46

I can make now. I

25:49

need more time. So

25:54

you went back to the hotel. They

25:56

still had to decide Where would

25:58

they live right now. Should

26:00

they leave the hotel and said on

26:02

their own and the short run by

26:04

early November or time? Definitely want to

26:07

wait. How did not.

26:10

And then she saw how badly their

26:12

oldest daughter I was doing again. I

26:14

was thirteen and two weeks after October

26:16

seven, she was person in the families

26:19

struggling the most. Just skipping

26:21

school every day tried to hide from them. Stayed

26:24

in a room out there doing nothing. This

26:27

is completely unlike her because as.

26:31

For October seven. She love going to

26:33

school, would happily never missed a day.

26:35

She's an athlete chemical volleyball at Seven

26:37

three nights a week and I just

26:39

hang with her friends. She's busy. To

26:42

see her. It's going

26:44

to sleep very late

26:46

at night and one

26:48

to sleep late in

26:50

the morning. Everything he

26:52

had it's not it's

26:54

not have any know

26:56

school now learning now

26:58

volleyball. Ah. the

27:00

only thing that last is her france

27:02

which are. Confused. As

27:05

see is. So there are

27:07

like a deli or I'm like I.

27:11

Went with no purpose and this

27:13

is what bothers us. the knowledge

27:15

that there is no purpose for

27:17

them here. He needs.

27:20

Something to wake up. For

27:22

it in the morning and

27:24

over here it's at too

27:26

much pain and can night's

27:28

ah. Dark. Seeing.

27:32

I have like this. That's what convinced

27:34

Bissau a good time, right? They

27:36

need to get away from out though. The. Kids

27:38

need that. The.

27:41

Way to go. Now

27:43

they're talking about this is a couple members

27:45

of the Caboose were in a much bigger

27:47

conversation about leaving a hotel as a group.

27:51

There's so much damage to the kibbutz so

27:53

me homes building set on fire burned to

27:55

the ground bombed. he would grenades and bullets

27:57

who take two or three years to rebuild.

28:00

Where they can move back. So

28:02

they will he a temporary places the whole

28:04

group could relocate to. While it happened. Or

28:08

Tom is one of the kibbutz leaders figuring out where they

28:10

should go. Towards come

28:12

down to two locations. And the tongue

28:14

I decide that wanted to go to a piece of

28:16

village called Cadmus. Eddie as

28:18

everybody could move there and he'll

28:20

figure out and few years whether

28:22

they'll move back to bury are

28:25

not. The. Vote

28:27

was November twenty second. Photon side

28:29

lost a forty votes. And

28:32

plays a kibbutz chose and flattering

28:34

near bigger a base. There

28:37

was a place at him because did

28:39

not want to live. I knew already

28:42

I knew for sure that see a

28:44

thing in the same I'll. Remember easy

28:46

tell me I'm not moving to set

28:48

in. And I said

28:51

okay. And that decided.

28:53

They. Were not gonna stay with the goods. They

28:56

strike out on their own. To.

28:58

The doctor the kids about this plane. Iowa.

29:01

He did it. To.

29:03

Do want to speak with me for the story? grandparents.

29:05

Issues Angry. One.

29:08

Thing she still had from rural life. Was.

29:10

Her friends. Which. Is gone to the

29:12

stronger Together. We're. Still going to

29:14

it and where. You. Know she had

29:16

two friends that were kidnapped. And

29:19

they returned from Gaza strip. been

29:21

there and say have also one

29:23

friend that says was severely wounded

29:25

in a Lhasa mother and and

29:27

bother no one is that and

29:29

one is dead. And and what'd

29:32

she say to you? When. She was angry

29:34

birds. What was she saying? She

29:36

was She was shouting. ah, why

29:39

we have to. Take

29:42

care of thought of her friends. And

29:44

that were not thinking about

29:47

her. It was

29:49

hide see here. You.

29:51

Know. When. You live in a

29:53

Kibbutz. their friends are the most

29:55

important thing. i don't

29:57

know how to express this in white

30:00

But we have this connection that

30:03

you cannot find anywhere else because we

30:05

grew up together We did everything together

30:07

we hang up In

30:10

the morning in the afternoon. We slept together.

30:12

We ate together. We studied together. We did

30:14

everything together and

30:18

This is what she has right

30:21

now and she's gonna lose it. I Understand

30:24

why she's angry. I understand

30:28

but I

30:30

don't want that death

30:33

will be so present

30:36

in every way I

30:39

don't want Two

30:49

other kids were good with the idea of them leaving the hotel They're

30:52

gonna us told them we can live in a car

30:54

as long as we're together. It's fine But

30:57

with Aya she came back to it over and over

31:00

It happens all the time. We every

31:02

day. Are you sure you want to go? Are

31:04

you sure you're not gonna stay? Cloud

31:07

explained to Aya that since they really might never move

31:09

back to Bairi It didn't make sense

31:11

to move to the temporary location with her friends right now

31:14

And then split with them in three years and start

31:16

over again Easier to

31:18

leave now and an agent she can make new

31:20

friends She told Aya that she

31:23

would drive her back to see her old friends anytime she wants

31:26

There's certainly she didn't say to Aya I

31:29

didn't tell her that I

31:32

don't want to leave in a place

31:34

that Morning

31:36

is gonna be a big part

31:38

of everything. Yeah, I Cannot

31:42

tell her this Why

31:44

not I? Don't

31:46

know I don't I don't know Do

31:49

you not want to say that to her because you're

31:51

scared it will affect how she sees her friends and

31:53

their life back in the kibbutz Yes,

31:56

you know just just yesterday they told us

31:58

that We all see

32:00

her best friend's father

32:04

were murdered in captivity. So

32:09

it's going to happen all the time. That

32:12

conversation was in January. They were still in the hotel.

32:15

The plan must move February 1st to a

32:17

house near a city called Kiriagat, maybe

32:19

a half-hour drive from the border. And

32:22

at this point, the family got a lucky break,

32:25

something they didn't expect. The

32:27

school she's going to go to, there

32:30

is friends that she knows from

32:32

our area that moved to the

32:34

same place. Oh, wow.

32:36

That's really, really fortunate. Yeah.

32:40

So it makes her heart

32:43

more calm. And

32:46

these are kids that she knows and she's

32:48

friends of, not

32:50

from Bérie exactly, but just from

32:52

our area. So she's

32:56

not opposite anymore as

32:58

she used to. Today

33:00

was the first day she went to school

33:02

and studied and opened her notebook. Just

33:05

today, after three months. Maybe

33:08

Michal said she finally understands that things are

33:10

going back to normal. So she's going

33:12

to have to go to school like normal with

33:14

other kids. And we're moving on. As

33:27

Moving Day approached, things in the family were all

33:29

over the place. I was

33:31

up and down, a lot of down.

33:33

I think Arbel and Dada,

33:35

the little kids, they

33:38

are excited to see the new life.

33:41

Lothar is very excited about

33:43

this. I'm

33:45

not excited. I

33:47

feel sad leaving the

33:50

kibbutz, even though I decided

33:52

to do that. It's

33:54

still sad for me. Yeah. It's

33:58

not, you know, this is Arbel's. decision

34:00

of moving that I

34:04

didn't chose it. This is what

34:06

makes me so sad. They chose

34:08

it. They decided it for

34:10

me. They,

34:13

you mean Hamas. Yes.

34:19

Yeah. And it's hard for me

34:21

not to have my parents around

34:23

and not to ask them what they

34:25

think. Yeah. And

34:29

you know, my mom, she

34:31

was, if I would move, she will come

34:33

and help me clean and help me decide

34:35

what to do. And now

34:37

she's not here to do that. So

34:41

every decision is, she's

34:43

so present with

34:45

her not present. I

34:47

don't know how to say it. Yeah.

34:56

They moved February 1st. I called one last time

34:58

a few weeks after that. The

35:00

kids are in the new schools. The family's running a

35:02

house. Autonomy, halo, bracing for

35:05

what it's going to be like to have their paychecks paid

35:07

to them directly and living

35:09

the way you and I do where we have to worry

35:11

about money and paying bills. But

35:13

one thing that was different in this last call was that

35:15

they both seemed way more certain that they're never going to

35:17

move back to Bay Area. There's

35:20

a possibility, sure. But they

35:22

both said it's likely they'll never return. I

35:25

am meanwhile mad all the time.

35:27

It's very severe, Michal told me. Worse

35:30

than before. She has

35:32

all the time to be driven back to the hotel to see

35:34

her friends. She's gone back once a week. Michal

35:37

feels like this is one of these parenting choices where she

35:40

and Lutan made the right call to

35:42

get the family away from the hotel and start a

35:44

new life. That

35:47

doesn't make it feel any better. She told me

35:49

she hopes that someday I will

35:51

understand. Even forgive

35:53

him for it. Coming

36:02

up, if you want to inspire your

36:04

family at a family meeting once a week, every single

36:06

week after a while, how

36:08

do you come up with anything original to say? That's

36:11

in a minute from Chicago Bubble Radio, when

36:14

our program continues. This

36:19

is American Life from Ira Glass, today's show,

36:21

family meeting, stories of people who care about

36:23

each other or are supposed to care about

36:25

each other coming together to figure stuff out.

36:28

And of course, these sort of meetings happen in non-family

36:30

settings also. I personally find it

36:32

revolting when any boss refers to his employees as

36:35

family, but I acknowledge there is an

36:37

entire workplace version of this. And

36:39

of course, there's a whole tradition of this in sports. High

36:41

school sports teams where the coach sits everybody

36:43

down for the big come to Jesus talk about how

36:46

things have been going and what needs to happen next.

36:48

One of our producers, Chris Bender, was looking around at the

36:51

stuff that high school coaches say to teams before their

36:53

big games. He found a lot of let's get out

36:55

there and crush them. So a

36:57

lot of the underdog version of that, nobody believes in us,

36:59

but I believe in us. And

37:01

then he ran across this one speech where

37:04

the coach tried a different approach. On a

37:06

strike. You know, should we

37:08

go back? This

37:11

is in a locker room in South Lake,

37:14

Texas. The team is the Cedar High School

37:16

High Longhorns. Their coach, Joey McGuire, they're in

37:18

the playoffs. They lose this game,

37:20

season's over. The team is ready to

37:22

go out onto the field. You know,

37:25

this is a lot different. You'll

37:27

wait five, weeks, six. There's always

37:29

another week, seven. This is

37:31

different. We don't take care

37:34

of business. This is. Ain't

37:37

coming back in the locker room next week. If

37:41

you care about each other enough, like we talked

37:43

about, if you care about loving

37:45

each other like we talked about, you have a

37:47

sense of urgency to get one more week with

37:50

your family. To get one more week with your

37:52

family. Smart,

37:54

right? When? And

37:57

we get one more week together. Chris

38:00

wondered if this was a move that the coach

38:02

uses a lot. So he called up Coach McGuire

38:04

who said yes, he has said this before in

38:06

other playoffs. But he said it's also a thing

38:08

he feels. I talk all the time

38:10

about being a family and being more than just

38:12

a team. And that was

38:14

such a huge game. I mean, there's probably

38:17

15,000 people. It's two of

38:20

the best teams of the

38:22

nation. These are Texas high school teams

38:24

working their way up to a state championship. Longhorns

38:26

were playing the Carroll High School Dragons. Coach

38:29

McGuire says that he knew that if they lost that game, they were

38:31

about to play. The Roodes feel like something.

38:34

When you lose at the end of the season, that

38:37

group of people, you're never gonna

38:39

play together again. It's almost like

38:42

there's a death. Like most

38:45

people don't talk about

38:47

that today could

38:49

be the last game. And

38:52

so that was my point. This ain't a

38:54

bunch of guys that play football. We

38:58

just get to play football together because this

39:00

is a brotherhood, this is a family. And

39:02

man, whenever you have that, what's something to

39:04

destroy because you fight every single moment to

39:06

keep it. That's what we

39:08

gotta do tonight. Cuz you win, we get

39:11

another week together. That's all I want. That's

39:13

all I want. Everybody with me? Yes, sir.

39:19

Did the team went out there in front of all those people?

39:22

And how'd it go? We end up getting

39:24

beat 37-35 right at the end of the game

39:26

on an absolutely

39:29

horrible call, but we ended up getting beat

39:31

37-35. Actually,

39:34

it was a little worse than that, 37-33. He

39:37

says in the locker room afterwards, it was really hard. But

39:40

even as you win the state championship, which he has,

39:43

that's our two. Cuz that's the

39:45

end. No more weeks together. Even

39:48

if they win, there's that loss. He

39:50

says he always makes it a point to thank the seniors.

39:53

Cuz it's often hardest for the seniors. No,

39:56

leaving the family. That

40:11

too is sealed with a death. So

40:14

sometimes the reason for a family meeting is a conflict that a

40:16

kid is having at school. And then

40:18

the parent has to decide, did my kid do something

40:20

wrong or is the problem the other kid? In

40:23

this next story, the parents have definitely come down on

40:25

one side of that one. This story

40:28

unfolds in a series of letters between two

40:30

moms. It's an excerpt of

40:32

a short story by Nafisa Thompson-Spires, read

40:35

first by actors Isa Davis and Erika

40:37

Alexander. Tuesday, October 1st,

40:39

1991. Hello

40:42

Monica. I'm sure you

40:44

remember me from the class field trip to

40:46

the Getty in September. It

40:49

has been brought to my attention that your

40:51

daughter Fatima may have started

40:53

a nasty rumor about my Kristinia. I

40:56

hope to clear this up as we both know

40:58

how ugly these things can get. It

41:02

is true that Kristinia's hamster died

41:04

recently, but it

41:06

is absolutely not true that it died at

41:08

Chrissy's hand. At

41:11

no time has Chrissy ever put

41:13

a ham bone or any of

41:15

her previous hamsters in the microwave,

41:17

dryer, or dishwasher. What

41:19

kind of child would make up something like that?

41:23

It sounds, and I say this respectfully,

41:25

so I hope you won't be offended.

41:28

Like Fatima has had a very hard

41:31

time getting acclimated here. And

41:33

that's understandable, but I do hope

41:35

you will deal with her before

41:38

any such incidents become frequent. Children

41:41

who start lying young often

41:43

end up with long time patterns of

41:46

dishonesty. All

41:48

best, Dr. Lucinda Johnston,

41:50

Psi D. License Therapist, Welcome

41:53

Wagon, Westwood Primary School, Events

41:55

Coordinator, Jack and Jill, Claremont

41:57

Branch. Monday,

42:05

October 7, 1991. Dear

42:09

Lucinda, I apologize

42:11

for my late reply, but

42:13

I only found your letter at the bottom

42:15

of Fatima's backpack when I did my weekly

42:17

cleaning. Thank you for

42:19

writing to me. Fatima

42:22

says she only repeated what Cristina

42:24

herself told her. Many

42:27

of Fatima's stories about Cristina this year

42:29

and last, which I won't recount here,

42:32

have been disturbing to say the least, but

42:35

none as disturbing as Cristina's

42:37

enjoyment of torturing rodents. Fatima

42:40

has a strong imagination and writes

42:42

beautiful lyric poetry, which she started

42:44

reading at age four, but she

42:47

does not have a history of lying

42:49

or telling gruesome stories, and

42:52

unlike Cristina, she has no history of

42:54

running off with other girls' shoes while

42:56

their feet dangle from the monkey bars.

42:59

I appreciate your concerns about Fatima, and

43:01

even though Cristina has made it much

43:04

more difficult for her to find friends

43:06

at Westwood, Fatima will acclimate

43:08

soon. She's going to

43:10

a sleepover at Emily's this weekend. Is

43:13

Cristina going? If so, I

43:16

hope you will encourage her to play nice. Best,

43:20

Monica Willis, PhD. P.S.

43:24

It is true that liars who start young often

43:26

end up with psychological and social

43:28

problems of the sort that Cristina

43:30

has demonstrated over the past year. How

43:34

lucky for you and Cristina that

43:36

she has access to psychotherapy through

43:38

your practice. Dear

43:45

Monica, I never

43:47

expected so much defensiveness when I

43:49

wrote my original letter. Perhaps

43:52

you misread it. All

43:54

I wanted to emphasize is that I

43:57

understand why a girl in

43:59

Fatima's position and one

44:01

with her background, would make up

44:03

such stories. It's

44:05

hard to get attention in a new place.

44:08

There is probably some petty jealousy

44:10

going on, but I think

44:13

we can resolve this. I

44:15

don't know how you did things at

44:17

Fatima's old school in Fresno, was it?

44:20

But here, we try to

44:22

help the children work through their

44:25

problems without getting too involved. I

44:28

suppose you already know and have known

44:30

all along that Kristinia will

44:32

not attend Emily's party, so there's

44:34

no need for me to encourage her

44:37

to play nice. You've

44:40

probably heard that history already, so

44:42

I won't rehash it, but

44:44

I will say that it wasn't Chrissy's

44:46

fault that Emily broke her nose when

44:49

she fell. Finally,

44:51

and I say this respectfully, but

44:53

maybe it would be wise to go through

44:56

Fatima's backpack every night instead of once in

44:58

a blue moon. I

45:00

have heard from more than one

45:02

parent that it smells like eggs.

45:06

My best, Dr. Lucinda Johnston,

45:09

licensed therapist, author of

45:11

Train Up a Child. Dear

45:18

Lucinda, or should I say Dr. Johnston,

45:22

I'd like to resolve this as much as

45:24

you would, but that won't happen if all

45:26

your letters begin and end with backbiting. I'm

45:30

not of the mind that the only two black

45:32

children in the clash should be enemies, nor

45:34

do I like the attention it draws to

45:37

them or their parents when they're already in

45:39

a difficult position. I

45:41

would think that a black woman of your

45:43

stature and success would understand

45:46

how isolating work in school environments like

45:48

Westwood can be for people like us.

45:51

I hoped Kristinia and Fatima could be friends

45:53

and could support each other in this space,

45:56

but it's been clear since second grade that

45:59

you and Kristinia are not willing to make

46:01

that work. I'm

46:03

sure Fatima would let Christina into her

46:05

growing inner circle, even her

46:08

after-school reading club, if Christina

46:10

would only apologize and behave.

46:13

Jealousy can become a lifelong problem.

46:16

On that note, I hate to bring

46:18

this up now, but we

46:20

were surprised by how poorly Christina

46:22

behaved when Fatima's poem won over

46:24

hers last year. I'd

46:27

like to make sure that we don't end

46:29

up with a repeat performance of that tantrum

46:31

when the poetry competition rolls around this year.

46:35

As with a hard-boiled egg, we

46:37

resolved that last spring and bought Fatima a

46:39

new backpack, and I believe you knew

46:41

that already. Cheers.

46:44

Dr. Monica Willis, Ph.D.,

46:47

author of Every Voice Counts,

46:49

helping children of color succeed

46:51

at predominantly white schools. Monica,

46:56

excuse the informal note, I

46:59

think you're doing both yourself and

47:01

Fatima a great injustice by continually

47:03

emphasizing her brilliance over other children.

47:06

Lots of people skip grades,

47:08

and skipping kindergarten isn't something to brag

47:10

about. I doubt that

47:13

the standards at her old school were as

47:15

rigorous as those at Westwood. What

47:17

exactly was she advanced at? Nap time?

47:21

If you'll recall, moreover, I was

47:23

there at the recital where Fatima read

47:26

her award-winning poem, and

47:28

while my doctorates—yes, plural—may

47:30

not be in literature, I'm

47:33

pretty sure hardly anyone would call

47:35

Butterfly Pie a work of poetic

47:37

genius. You can't rhyme pie

47:39

with pie multiple times and call that poetry.

47:41

You just can't, even if you have the

47:43

excuse of only being in fourth grade. Isn't

47:47

your degree, by the way, an Ed.D.?

47:49

Lucinda. Lucinda,

47:55

I'm not surprised if Fatima's subtle wordplay

47:57

was lost on you, since it's clear

47:59

reading problems running the family. Not

48:02

everyone is suited for literary work. I'm

48:05

sure you know that from your own writing struggles

48:07

and the extra effort you had to put behind

48:09

your research in order for anyone to take it

48:11

seriously. Isn't there

48:13

still some kind of issue with your last project

48:15

and the IRB? Or

48:18

is the issue with Dr. Patel's ex-wife? My

48:21

very best. Monica. Monica,

48:25

I'm not going to dignify most of your

48:27

comments with a response. This

48:30

will be my last letter because I can

48:32

see I'm not going to get anywhere with

48:34

you. There's some kind

48:36

of blockage there that I really think

48:38

you should explore with a licensed professional.

48:41

Especially if you call yourself a professor. At

48:45

one time I wondered if we were too

48:47

harsh in recommending that you and your family

48:49

wait another year before joining our Jack and

48:51

Jill chapter. But I can

48:53

see now that we were right. I'm

48:56

afraid I can never recommend you for our

48:58

club. You display a

49:00

volatile combination of residual ghetto

49:02

and uppity knee-grass and that

49:05

will be your undoing if

49:07

Fatima isn't. Sincerely,

49:11

Dr. Lucinda M. Johnston, licensed

49:13

therapist, author of Train Up

49:16

a Child, welcome wagon Westwood

49:18

Primary School, events coordinator,

49:20

Jack and Jill, Claremont Chapter.

49:26

Lucinda, I'm not even going

49:28

to respond to that. But

49:30

I will say that if someone here is uppity, it's

49:33

the one of us with two little brats who have

49:35

run off three au pairs. Who

49:37

even uses that term? If they're

49:39

not French, and I'm pretty sure your cousin,

49:41

Shaquana, isn't, they're nannies. Nannies.

49:46

And if they're your own relatives and they're just babysitters

49:48

or bums who need a hookup. This

49:50

bushiness and the way it keeps

49:53

you from connecting with your kids is half of your

49:55

problem. The other half, you probably

49:57

can't fix without medication. Good thing you

49:59

can write prescriptions. Oh wait, you're

50:02

not that kind of doctor. How

50:06

can I be uppity when I've never

50:08

had any help and started out as

50:10

a single parent before marrying Jordan? If

50:13

putting myself through school and becoming the highest

50:15

educated person in my family with no

50:17

help but God's makes me uppity,

50:19

then so be it. We

50:22

are humble people in spite of our

50:24

education and finances, and we have more

50:27

class in our excrement than you have

50:29

in your whole hamster murdering family. And

50:31

yes, there is a bit of ghetto

50:34

still left in me. Enough to tell you who

50:36

can finish the fight if it gets to that

50:38

point. We're never too far from Oakland

50:40

or the south side. Let's

50:42

keep it real. Monica. Monica,

50:46

I do believe that was a

50:48

threat. The Claremont Police

50:50

Department will not take this lightly. And

50:53

tell Fatima to stop pinning notes to

50:56

the inside of Chrissy's book bag when

50:58

she's not looking. Chrissy could injure herself

51:00

on a dirty safety pin knowing you

51:02

people and end up with hepatitis

51:05

A, B, or C, or

51:07

worse. I've tried

51:09

to resolve our differences by working directly

51:11

and exclusively with you and their teacher

51:13

Mrs. Watson, but I will

51:16

have no choice but to contact

51:18

Principal Lee in addition to the

51:20

police if this persists. Lucinda.

51:23

Lucinda. Only

51:29

you would suggest something so disgusting

51:31

as intentionally injuring a child with

51:33

a dirty safety pin. But then

51:35

again, it was Cristina

51:38

who put that tack on Renee Potts'

51:40

chair last year and caused her to

51:42

need a tetanus shot. Perverse

51:45

minds think alike, apparently. Lose

51:47

my number and address and stop

51:49

making your kid do your dirty work. I'm

51:54

Monica. Turn

51:56

blue. Turn blue.

52:00

Blue, blue, blue. Look,

52:04

I've written a poem. Perhaps I

52:06

should send it to Ladybug magazine. Love,

52:10

Lucinda. Lucinda,

52:14

you need Jesus. Do

52:16

not write me again, or I

52:18

will contact my lawyer. I've

52:20

asked Mrs. Watson to check Fatima's backpack for

52:23

correspondence from you, and I

52:25

have made it clear that I do not want further contact

52:27

from you or Christina. You

52:29

are not to speak to Fatima either. I'm

52:31

requesting a meeting with the school and you and your

52:34

husband so that we can nip this

52:36

crazy mess in the bud once and for all.

52:39

Monica, Jack and Jill,

52:42

Claremont Chapter. October

52:47

21, 1991. Dear

52:50

Mrs. Johnston and Mrs. Willis, It

52:53

has come to my attention that your respective daughters, Christina

52:56

and Fatima, engage in

52:58

a brutal fistfight at school. As

53:01

you know, this behavior violates not only the Westwood

53:03

Code of Conduct, but also our

53:05

core values as a school, and

53:07

is punishable by expulsion. I

53:09

am sending this letter as a follow-up to the discussion I

53:11

had with each of you over the phone. I

53:14

would like to meet with the two of you, and

53:16

Mrs. Watson, ASAP. My

53:19

secretary will schedule, sincerely,

53:21

Principal Lee, Westwood Primary

53:23

and Secondary School. October

53:30

25, 1991. Dear

53:33

Dr. Willis, The school's

53:35

board and I thank you for your

53:37

generous donation and for

53:39

agreeing to serve on the Westwood Welcome Wagon. Given

53:42

the sharp improvement of your child's behavior, we

53:45

can agree to rescind our threat of Fatima's expulsion

53:47

from school. Your reputation

53:49

of our school depends on the efforts of involved

53:51

parents like yourselves. Sincerely,

53:54

Principal Lee. November

53:59

3, 1991. 1991, Lucinda. Thank

54:03

you for inviting Fatima to Chrissy's party.

54:06

She will be happy to attend. And

54:08

thank you for the lovely fruit basket. It's

54:12

so bad. It's true. Mrs.

54:14

Watson looks terrible in that color.

54:16

And yet Principal Lee finds reasons to

54:19

look. But I won't say anything more

54:21

in writing. Jordan

54:23

and I will discuss the Jack and Jill potluck with

54:25

you when we see you. XO,

54:29

Monica. Thank you. Actors

54:41

Erica Alexander and Isa Davis, reading

54:44

an excerpt of Belle Lettre with Alvin

54:46

Malleth, reading Principal Lee. The

54:48

stories by Nepissa Thompson Spires. She's reading the full

54:50

story and her book of short stories. Heads

54:53

of the Day. Singing

54:57

in the kitchen, running through

55:00

the yard, going

55:02

on vacation, on

55:05

the credit card. We

55:07

all in together. We've

55:09

been taking a trip. We're

55:12

like birds on the bird. We

55:15

got shoes in the space. All

55:28

the way to the city, laughing

55:30

in the rain. It

55:33

ain't always pretty. You

55:35

drive you insane. You can go, you

55:37

can go. Take

55:40

it all off. All

55:42

for a season. Well

55:45

bless your heart. We'll

55:47

go to the next produce today by Sean

55:50

Cole and Ben Madawoomy. People who have been

55:52

together today's program include Michael Comite, Aviva DeCornfeld,

55:54

Bethel Hoptay, Cassie Halle, Rudy Lee, Seth Flynn,

55:56

Catherine Raimondo, Nadia Raymond, Sophia Riddle, Ryan Rumory,

55:58

Alyssa Shipp, Matt Tierney, and Diah Our

56:00

managing editor is Sara Abderrahman. Our senior

56:03

editor is David Kestenbaum. Our executive editor

56:05

is Emmanuel Beret. Special thanks today to

56:07

the entire LeBaron family. Dealey

56:10

Blyfus, Madeline Tickner, PJ Mark,

56:12

Heath VandenBosch, and KU

56:14

sports.com for a video

56:16

of Coach McGuire's speech. This American

56:18

Life is delivered to public radio stations

56:21

by PRX, the public radio exchange. Thanks

56:23

as always to our program's co-founder, Mr.

56:25

Torrey Malatia, who's just cast in

56:27

a local theater production of Annie. In

56:29

the title role. Torrey actually had

56:31

lived his way through a lot of the show, including

56:33

Annie's biggest and most famous song, which

56:36

he delivered as... That's cool. What

56:38

are we gonna do tomorrow? Amara Glass.

56:40

Back next week with more stories of

56:42

this American life. Next

57:00

week on the podcast of this American life. For

57:02

months, we've been talking to Yousef. It was

57:05

the same questions running through his head all the time

57:07

about the same people. What about

57:09

Hadil? What about Hiba? What about Telsabil? What about

57:11

my wife and the children? My mother? Yousef

57:13

is moving his family from one place to another in

57:16

Gaza. Now his youngest sister is about

57:18

to have a baby. And everybody may need to move

57:20

again. And they're all looking to

57:22

Yousef to find one more place to live. That's

57:25

next week on the podcast on your local public

57:27

radio station. You