0:00

Two young fathers are shot to death

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outside an iconic Utah restaurant. I said,

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your dad has been hurt really bad.

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The grief was disorienting for those left

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behind, until one choice changed

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everything. I just remember writing this

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letter and it wasn't me writing

0:16

it. Can a personal decision shape

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generations? We're all falling for

0:20

this guy's trick. I'm Amy

0:22

Donaldson. Season 2 of The Letter, Ripple

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Effect, is available now. Follow us at

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wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom!

1:02

Freedom! Freedom!

1:10

Welcome back to Freedom. We're here

1:12

again. We did it. We're outside.

1:14

Can you believe that we aren't doing the

1:17

podcast again? Can you believe it? We're

1:19

about two and a half Scots apart from each

1:21

other. Yeah. And... Maybe three

1:23

Scots. Maybe three Scots. We might

1:25

be three Scots away. I say you're... I'm three

1:28

Scots away, Paul's three Scots away, and I'm three Scots

1:30

away from Paul. You're more than three Scots away

1:32

from Paul. We're more than an equilateral triangle.

1:35

No, I believe that... That's isosceles. ...Ude-Paul is

1:37

a little longer. Ude-Paul. Ude-Paul

1:40

now, dog! Ude-Paul now,

1:43

dog! What is that from,

1:45

Finding Forester? Yeah, of course it is. Oh,

1:47

of course. You the man now, dog. What

1:49

else is from Finding Forester? Can you name

1:51

some other details? I cannot. Well, I think

1:53

they're on a baseball field at some point.

1:55

Is that right? The Navy? Could be. I

1:57

saw it. Don't remember any of it, other

1:59

than Ude- man now dog. That's the only line

2:01

I know ever. Of

2:03

any movie. Or any dog.

2:05

And does Robin Williams say it? No

2:07

he is not an adult. I

2:10

bet he did say it though at some point in his life. I

2:12

always thought he said that. There

2:15

was a Sean Connery. Sean Connery said it.

2:17

You are the man now dog. He died

2:19

right? Oh he said yeah he died recently.

2:21

He was going to cover a people mag.

2:24

Along with Mia Farrow. Every time a person dies they

2:26

got to put the picture on the cover. Well people.

2:29

That was the beat and cover. You know what I fucking

2:31

hate? I follow People magazine on Instagram.

2:35

And it's like I just love to have

2:37

a story. This is what Lauren hates by the way. This is

2:40

Lauren. And this is what she hates. I don't know

2:42

if it's new. I actually think we've done it before. I

2:44

think we've had something on every episode. But

2:46

the People magazine I enjoy following

2:49

it. It's just random little stories. Sometimes

2:52

they are about celebrities and

2:54

sometimes they are about regular people and

2:56

something remarkable or just cute that

2:58

happened. When

3:00

it is a celebrity that people haven't heard of.

3:03

The comments are like who the fuck is this?

3:05

Why you post all this shit? And then I

3:07

go do you not understand that they post from

3:10

someone walking down the street to someone on

3:12

the red carpet? Yes. All

3:14

everyday everyday. From the street to the carpet.

3:16

Because you don't know who this one country

3:18

star is. You're going to rip them a

3:20

new one. And it's like you just predict it every time.

3:23

Like okay I don't know who this is. Let's see the

3:25

comments are going to go off. And it's

3:27

like who gives a shit they had a baby who cares. Well

3:30

you went and that little baby got a

3:32

cochlear implant. You didn't know who that was.

3:34

That would be so funny of people. Who

3:37

the fuck is this? Who the fuck is this baby?

3:39

That's the same. Baby is the same. That's what the

3:41

account is. It is everyone. So

3:45

why are you mad that you don't know who that celebrity is?

3:47

You're just preemptively trying to protect yourself when

3:49

they do something about you. I've already had

3:52

that happen to be where people go. You

3:54

used to be a babysitter and now you're

3:56

a movie star. I don't care. I just

3:58

made it weird. I

4:00

do love that trajectory from the moon.

4:02

Next astronaut. I

4:06

mean, there were a lot more steps in between, but

4:08

yeah. Would you go in space? Have we talked about this

4:10

before? I don't think we... Let's talk about it right now. I

4:12

don't want to go to space. Jamie

4:15

doesn't either. I would go to space. You want to go

4:17

to space? I don't, I don't like want to, you know,

4:19

go to Mars and never come back, but if they said

4:21

you could go to the moon, I would go to the

4:23

moon. No one does that anymore.

4:26

Oh, we're in the jungle, by the way. Does anyone go

4:28

to the moon anymore? Go into the jungle. You're going to

4:30

die. Or did we just do it at once? They, we

4:32

were going to go back to the moon. Why don't we

4:34

do it again? Well, I... Trump said we were

4:36

going to go back to the moon. Trump said we were going to go back to the moon. Former

4:40

darned ass. Wasn't he

4:42

trying to go to the moon? Jackie Gleese didn't go to the stage. He was

4:44

trying to go to the moon. I think he did. Jackie

4:47

Gleese? Oh, God. I don't think he

4:49

did go. Motherfucker. But, um... I

4:51

think he, no, I think he eventually did get to go. Not

4:54

like part of NASA, but yeah. He

4:57

didn't go. I'm googling. He

4:59

wanted to go. I know he wanted to go. I thought

5:01

he got to go eventually. No, he didn't get to go.

5:03

He was certified. All the people who

5:05

were going to go up in the Elon

5:08

Musk thing. Elon Musk. Suck, suck, suck, suck,

5:10

suck. In 2003, Lance

5:12

Bass again serving as World Space Week's Youth Spokeman.

5:14

In 2003, Lance Bass had money. Cut

5:16

to 2020. I think he bought

5:19

the fucking... He was going to

5:21

buy the Brady Bunch Houseman. Yeah,

5:24

ACTD outbid him. Bass

5:26

has stated that he believes young people becoming more interested

5:29

in space exploration will help the future of our planet.

5:32

From 2003 to 2005, he spent World

5:34

Space Week traveling to American High School speaking

5:36

with students about space exploration. And

5:39

then he's a member of the Space Society. Space

5:41

obviously... We're all members of the Space Society.

5:43

He absolutely... In 2007,

5:46

he told GQ, he absolutely still intends on

5:48

going to space and that he hopes to

5:50

work on a space documentary. Let me just

5:52

say something right here on Freedom. This is a

5:54

promise to our listeners. Lance Bass will

5:56

never go to space. And He also retained fluency

5:58

in Russian when he... No, I read

6:01

so I learned during his training. Holy

6:03

shit that's intense. Wow.

6:05

Now that's intense and has he didn't

6:07

to go and that's. What focus back on

6:09

ourselves though? Because I don't. I want to hear. I

6:11

want to hear about polls reasons for wanting to go

6:14

to the moon other. I want to

6:16

hear what you're going to have. Their

6:18

kick Rocks Susceptible to assess Assess assess

6:20

as an omen for to have a

6:22

golf clubs and so I'm assessment on

6:24

I would Ice I: okay you're my

6:26

reasons I figure would be an amazing

6:28

experience Right to go with you Space:

6:30

You get sick in that kind of

6:32

environment On bro a Roller coasters fun

6:34

Vi no I don't I don't. I

6:36

don't really have motion sickness some I'm

6:38

pretty good with stuff like that I

6:40

would about emotional. Most citizens. Now.

6:45

Is true that if I'm not

6:47

gonna driving the car I do

6:50

get sad hundred plus at assist

6:52

assist rollercoasters I'm always crying ah

6:54

my room and everyone who him

6:56

as a photo of the and

6:58

i wanted to visit us to

7:00

my eyes. Are

7:05

that's when I say if of Reagan the

7:07

front car and driving around this oh that's

7:09

where all screaming say what did I would

7:11

kill to go on to radically. There's a

7:13

big i don't know about a

7:15

land I would love a solo

7:17

album back up in no go

7:20

areas thing either. A slanted you

7:22

know now it's mainly it's up

7:24

and and luxury Boys do that.

7:26

They did the monster video ram

7:29

everybody hey and way my last.

7:33

Season and say yarrow! Did

7:35

they dance? Mack straight

7:37

back. Did

7:40

not do that. Now and sinks didn't

7:42

instinct Backstreets back. All right. Oh

7:47

yeah, we can't name a single, I know.

7:49

That my know them. Know.

7:52

That that addresses now to rid

7:54

of or not I know that

7:56

wholesale and him like that. Oh

7:59

say use. I'm

8:01

sure they do that. a

8:03

birds. Eye

8:05

out for and seek to see me happy birthday know

8:07

that it is turn up my heart but what I

8:10

was the course of the bye bye bye saw. The

8:14

never gone as he doing is unknown

8:16

of in an interview you and that's

8:18

when they were puppets Ryan Newman and

8:20

know that says oh no no no

8:22

we're not bad at a liar some

8:24

ass in I want to say no

8:26

strings attached. With that was the name

8:28

of the album to be said. they

8:30

were marionettes. Yes, I'm

8:33

never gonna see been do some never gonna

8:35

pee wee man M P and do. As

8:43

and. Be

8:46

so. Often

8:49

and. They

8:52

know Ted's and. Disease

8:55

and deserves a success. When.

9:00

Ssssss since and

9:02

cities. Will back

9:04

at all going up in space battle

9:06

to Paul would you? You'd have to

9:08

train would New. It. Money known

9:11

Russian numbness. You just go

9:13

up well. I

9:15

wonder what I wanted to learn Russian for that?

9:17

What's the cut off for you? If you adam

9:19

if you had to learn Russian, would you go

9:21

up in space? You

9:24

you want? Yeah. You would allow

9:26

have you had to go through space I offered.

9:28

I'm not doing right now. Hold onto a narrow

9:30

down will but if you if you had to

9:33

go to space camp for two years of training

9:35

would you go. Here.

9:37

On your own dime. Ah,

9:41

I don't know. I didn't have as much across. I

9:43

guess I remember when that three.held it was. Really

9:45

pop and off and then. All failure Took

9:47

office in and say where we are fewer.

9:50

And I was. I have almost like jealous. yeah so

9:52

here's the thing in i haven't thought

9:54

about it in those terms of like

9:56

what will be necessary to do right

9:59

i'm just saying If you could just

10:01

step onto a space shuttle like you

10:03

were going on a plane. Yes. If

10:06

I had the opportunity to do it, I absolutely would do it. If

10:08

you walked into the space shuttle, like

10:10

you would walk into a plane. I

10:13

am interested. You're

10:16

so plain. You probably

10:18

think the fish is about you,

10:20

you're so plain. This is terrible.

10:23

Well, okay, how long does it take to get to the moon and

10:25

back? I know

10:27

it's between here and New York City.

10:29

Getting to the moon? I

10:32

don't know how long it takes. I'm going to read this before.

10:34

Yeah, Google that since you're not interested. I'm

10:37

going to keep that. I am interested. I got to Google

10:39

that. You got to Google how

10:41

long it takes. I'm going to die of poo

10:43

disease. No. It takes

10:45

three days to get to the moon. Three

10:48

days? Yeah. You probably have six days. That's

10:51

why I'm like, why don't they go in there more? What?

10:54

I don't even get to get out. I

10:57

go to the moon and they turn right back around. You

10:59

go to the moon and you get five minutes to walk

11:01

around. I want to go to the fucking gift shop. What

11:05

was the movie I saw recently where they're on

11:07

the moon and they're like, Moon chase? Moon chase.

11:10

It was pretty, pretty moon chase. It made me

11:13

not want to go to the moon. Bad. Pretty

11:15

moon chase, bad. Pretty moon chase, bad. They

11:17

went to the moon? Well, they got on the moon and

11:19

they were like, oh fuck, what was it? And then they had

11:21

like a chase between two cars where like, Well, no, because he

11:24

was like, You know, actually I don't want

11:26

to cancel my trip. He clearly

11:28

made up things like, well, that's what it's going to be like. Forget

11:30

it. Well, no, I have

11:32

to say there's been a couple of that George Clooney

11:34

movie that just came out

11:36

and other and the Cloverfield movie and stuff

11:38

like that. More like Cloever Moon. There

11:42

are certain spaceship movies that have made me

11:44

not want to go out in space

11:47

in the same way that I don't want to be

11:49

out on a ship in the middle of the, in

11:51

the middle of nowhere. And I don't want to be

11:53

underneath like in the abyss. Don't you feel

11:55

like we have a new space movie every four months? Yeah,

11:58

that's right. That's about right. about

12:00

three a year Indiana was

12:02

there was more than I can think of. Oh,

12:06

I know. But

12:09

but we're talking to you. Oh, you

12:11

are now in the man that George

12:14

Clooney movie was two different types of

12:16

I'm trapped in a terrible situation type movie

12:19

was one. I'm trapped in a spaceship that's

12:21

breaking and I have to go. Yeah, gravity

12:23

is another one where I like have to

12:25

go fix the ship and all this shit

12:27

can go wrong. It's scary and I saw that

12:29

in the theater and I was going to see in the theaters because you're

12:31

like, you're like really there. They should have called it gravity because

12:33

it got a hold of me. Oh,

12:36

yeah. And that part of the books fall

12:38

into the water walking out.

12:40

Yeah. But then the other part of the

12:42

George Clooney thing is you wander around in

12:44

the snow and a blizzard and like he's

12:46

he's he falls asleep in a shelter that

12:48

suddenly is flooding and sinking into the ice

12:50

and shit like just all of my all

12:53

of my worst nightmares, claustrophobic nightmares, other than

12:55

like being drowning. Maybe it's just

12:57

George Clooney have a problem with. Yeah, that's true. He's

12:59

a silver fox, though. We're seeing twins

13:02

now. We don't we

13:04

don't hear about them. Wait, he has

13:06

twins twins. He and him. So

13:09

he said him and Danny DeVito were twins.

13:11

I thought you were saying that. And

13:14

I don't know. Oh, no, that's an

13:16

espresso commercial. Oh, my God. I know.

13:18

Oh, my God. Oh,

13:21

you're exactly right. Let's erase this one. No, we

13:23

will never erase one. Well,

13:27

so Paul. So also so

13:30

it's not that far, which is good. So because

13:32

I was thinking, oh, wow, if you had to

13:34

be away from from Jamie for four

13:36

months, would you do it? Well, yeah, you do

13:38

that for a job. Yeah. Would

13:41

you be away from for from

13:43

Jamie for four months for a job? Yeah,

13:45

if I had to. Yeah. Would you be away from

13:47

Jamie for five months for a job? Yes. Would

13:50

you be away from Jamie for six months for

13:52

a job? Yes. Would you be

13:54

away from Jamie for seven months for not a job?

13:57

No. What would that? I

14:00

want to know what those circumstances would be. How

14:03

many months? I'm going to be gone for seven months. It

14:05

is not for a job. No,

14:07

you go away from KUOP for four months for a

14:09

job. I

14:13

don't know. It would depend on the job.

14:15

What's your literal problem? It would just depend on the

14:17

job. What's your major malfunction? It's the same thing when

14:19

I was younger and people were like, hey, do you

14:21

want to go write on SNL or whatever? And I

14:23

was like, I don't really want to go move to

14:25

New York. I'm happy here. So

14:27

you just don't want to go away. I

14:30

have roots here. But

14:33

you're not moving. You're going to

14:35

Hawaii for four months to shoot

14:37

a movie without KUOP. Wait, would

14:39

I star in The Wrong Missy? Yes.

14:41

As The Wrong Missy? Yes. They're

14:44

doing a reboot. What a male reboot. It's

14:46

all male. The Wrong Mister. Really?

14:50

No, I'd probably get gay panic back into comedy.

14:53

If it was a good enough part, yeah,

14:55

I probably would do anything for like a

14:57

good four months. I'd go away for four

15:00

months, five months. I have a friend

15:02

who moved away for nine months, though. And

15:06

it's tough. Well, you know, I think that kind of sucks when you're

15:08

on like a TV show and you're like. It

15:10

was a baby. Yeah, it was a boss baby. My friend was a

15:12

sperm. He moved away for

15:14

nine months. He came back because it's like a

15:17

baby. He's totally different. He didn't even recognize him.

15:20

So much bigger. Big head.

15:22

Don't let sperm eat. Yeah, it's such a big head.

15:24

What's a big head? No,

15:27

but when you're people, the thing I don't, I'm not

15:29

jealous of is when people are cast on a show

15:31

that shoots in like Canada or something or another. That's

15:34

so tough for six years. And then they live there

15:36

for like, yeah, but like not fully, like they kind

15:38

of still have their place here. Well, I have

15:40

a friend who got cast in a Canadian

15:42

show and once it became pretty

15:44

clear that it was going to keep

15:47

going, they bought a house in Canada

15:49

and moved their partner up

15:51

to Canada with them. But their partner

15:53

had to essentially agree to not

15:56

do anything themselves. They had to just like

15:58

live in Canada and not work. work themselves.

16:00

And that show was The Little List Hobo. Yeah,

16:02

that's right. It's such a little out of it.

16:04

Such a huge show. I mean, I've seen Little

16:06

Hobos before, but The Little List? He's

16:08

smaller than anyone and it was proven. Did

16:12

you know that that's an actual show? Oh

16:14

no. I didn't. It's

16:16

one of my favorite references to

16:18

Canadiana. It was a show

16:20

from the 80s, I want

16:23

to say early 80s, maybe late 70s, early 80s. That

16:27

was a sort of incredible Hulk,

16:29

highway to heaven sort

16:31

of show where this character moves

16:33

from town to town. But you might

16:36

be surprised to know The Little List Hobo was

16:38

a German Shepherd. That's what I just discovered. It's

16:41

a dog. So somehow this dog

16:43

is going from town to town

16:46

by itself? By itself. Starring

16:48

London as Hobo. Call

16:50

it London. That's a show. The

16:53

Little List London. No, just London. Hey, I'm going

16:55

to watch London. What's that show about? It's about

16:57

a dog. What? It's about a

17:00

sitcom starring London. It's not a sitcom. Or whatever.

17:02

They really gave the dog a title card.

17:04

He was the star. What else are

17:07

you going to give it? So

17:09

he would help someone with some kind of problem. I

17:11

bet if you asked the dog, what would you rather

17:13

have? A

17:15

title card or a treat? One

17:17

treat. The

17:20

dog would take the treats. Like the marshmallow experiment.

17:22

You understand? You're going to be a famous dog.

17:27

I'll take the one treat. Now

17:32

dogs don't know they're in movies,

17:35

but they do know they're on a

17:37

set. They do know they're in a workplace. Because they're

17:39

with their trainer, not their owner. Yes. And

17:41

so they go to a place and they're like, oh, okay, this is,

17:44

I've been in places like this before. I know what

17:46

is expected of me to do, but they don't know

17:48

half the time I won't do it. They

17:50

don't know the concept of cameras though. No, they

17:52

don't. They just see them. They see

17:55

them as big things, shadowy things. But

17:57

some dogs can watch TV. Mm-hmm.

18:00

So they know what TV is so wouldn't it

18:03

couldn't they just extrapolate that Oh

18:05

cameras Just because they watch

18:07

TV. That doesn't mean they know that it's my

18:09

job. I think it's a window My dog

18:11

will bark at doorbells on the TV that

18:13

yeah never had a sound that she's never

18:16

heard as my dog will too But my dog

18:18

will not bark at voices on TV because they

18:20

know it's TV Yeah, but isn't it weird

18:22

that they know that it's if you have a doorbell on

18:24

the show That's like ding-dong, but you never had a doorbell

18:26

like that in your house Well, I think

18:28

we change up our doorbell song. It's gonna be the pitch Every

18:31

week. I don't do that because I'm

18:33

not a fucking freak We

18:36

stick with the Westminster chimes can't

18:38

get enough Goes

18:46

on for 15 minutes Do

18:52

you think dogs know what TV is they

18:54

know it's a thing that's broadcasting a thing

18:56

Now my dog know my dogs do know

18:59

how good they know that they know it's

19:01

broad No, they know phones They know they

19:03

know they now know phones because anytime we

19:05

pick up the phone to answer a phone

19:07

call They think it's us using

19:09

our our Front door

19:11

cam to talk to someone who's delivering something so

19:13

they will immediately start barking anytime we pick up

19:15

the phone So they don't know

19:18

they know it's they know it's

19:20

communicating between us and that person

19:28

That's the same thing Dogs

19:32

are smarter than you think I think they know

19:34

hey man They know what TV is even if

19:36

they're smarter than I think so they know when

19:39

they're honest His

19:42

dog as a therapist Me

19:49

my dog talk about TV shows I do

19:51

most of the talking granted But boy Let

19:56

me start TV

20:00

is. So Paul would you would you

20:02

go away for a

20:05

year? Would you go away right now? Well

20:07

we had a situation where I did I was offered

20:09

a job she moved she came with me yes and

20:11

this was this was we had just

20:14

moved in together so it was a real

20:16

dream point for us. Yeah. You moved in

20:18

in LA and then you got the job in New York? Yes.

20:20

Yeah. And we lived together for about

20:23

six months something like that. Six

20:25

months. But it was it was a discussion of what how

20:27

was what is the best way to do this do

20:30

we do we do visits you know like every

20:32

month or or like well how do we work

20:35

this you know. But I feel

20:37

like best-case scenario in that you're

20:39

both actors New York is a

20:41

great place to live it feels

20:44

like it seems like it would

20:46

be. It feels like a treat to get to

20:48

move there for a job. Yeah it was very

20:50

exciting absolutely yeah yeah yeah.

20:54

But but what if what if she couldn't what

20:56

if she was working here and

21:01

would you take a five-year

21:03

gig where you worked nine months out

21:05

of the year? If it

21:07

was a good gig yes I would and we would

21:09

figure it out. What is a good gig to you?

21:12

A job that I would like to do that pays

21:14

me good money. Yeah I mean if it's it honestly

21:16

those are considerations sometimes I don't think it's I

21:19

don't think I've ever had to turn down something

21:21

I've never had I've never been put in that

21:23

position where it was like this

21:25

is very good money but this job will

21:27

clearly be miserable you know because of the

21:30

project it is the character the role the

21:32

people whatever but you're

21:35

always like kind of prepared for that like there

21:37

could come a situation like that where it's like

21:40

there are here are the upsides to this but

21:42

the downsides are many and is

21:44

it worth sacrificing this much time but

21:47

you're always like kind of prepared for

21:49

that like there could come a situation

21:51

like that where it's like there

21:54

are here are the upsides to

21:56

this but the downsides are many

21:58

and is it worth sacrificing this

22:00

much time of your life to do it. It's like

22:02

the Bob Odenkirk conundrum of like having to move to

22:05

San Antonio or wherever they shoot that.

22:08

In New Mexico, right? New Mexico, yeah.

22:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. And just

22:12

being away from your family for so long and then like

22:14

trying to figure out exactly how to navigate that. Yeah,

22:17

but then you work it out. You

22:20

figure out the best possible plan you

22:22

can come up with. Yeah. And

22:24

it makes it not as bad. Right. And

22:26

also like it depends on, you know,

22:29

New Mexico, it's probably not that, you

22:32

know, like flight wise. Yeah, I think

22:34

it's probably two hours a hour. Yeah,

22:36

but I also think like I find

22:38

it exciting to get to live somewhere else for

22:40

a period of time. Yeah, you went

22:42

to England for that. Yeah, I was like there for four

22:44

months and I mean that was really cool. I

22:46

did too. It was a great experience. Like I

22:48

never would get to do that in my life

22:50

and then I never would choose to and I wouldn't

22:53

even know how to figure out how to move somewhere for

22:55

a period of time like that, like

22:57

legally with like visas or whatever. I don't know

22:59

how that shit works. So it's great to get

23:01

the opportunity to go somewhere. And then I also think like

23:03

it just opens up your life in

23:05

this interesting way. Like you just don't know what's coming.

23:07

So it's kind of fun. Yeah. There

23:10

is something to the experience of living in

23:12

another country for long

23:14

enough where you can feel like you

23:17

get a sense of what life is like

23:19

there. You're not there as a tourist. You

23:21

are, you're having to buy groceries. You're having

23:23

to do the normal shit you do in

23:26

life in another place and getting a feel

23:29

for that is exciting and fun. Say

23:32

you had to move to the moon for

23:34

a job. You

23:37

have to live on the moon. And let me tell

23:39

you. The first moon TV show.

23:41

Yes. It's all gray, the

23:44

rocks. There's not

23:46

like a house. It's like you're in your suit,

23:48

but you can piss in the suit. Wait,

23:50

no, you have a house. You

23:54

have a house, but you still have to. There's

23:56

no structure. I'm just out on the surface

23:58

of the moon. end. Here's my question

24:01

about the moon. How big is

24:03

it really? Because I feel like

24:05

in that video of them walking on it. You

24:07

could probably, if you just started in like the little

24:10

prince. It's not that big. If you started in one

24:12

place and tried to walk around the whole thing, you

24:14

could probably do it in like five hours. That's right.

24:17

They try to work out video game

24:19

maps where they say in real life

24:21

it would be this. I

24:29

want to know like the comparison like how big

24:32

is the moon? I bet it. Let

24:34

me, can we both guess before

24:36

you say what it is? I don't even know.

24:38

Are we talking about diameter? Is that what we're

24:40

going to say? Compared to the earth, I would

24:42

say. I'm going

24:44

to say it's one third of the earth. Okay,

24:46

I'll do that first. I'm going to do it compared to

24:48

the US because I feel like we need a

24:51

sort of. We need

24:53

to visualize hands across America from the

24:55

1986. It's

25:00

less than a third the width of earth. That's

25:04

what I said. That is what you said. Nice. Okay.

25:09

And compared to the USA. Okay.

25:12

So the surface there is a man. Actually,

25:16

I actually love that song. I

25:20

can find that song moving. God bless the USA. I

25:23

hate that. Wow. And

25:25

I'll proudly stand

25:28

up next to you. And you

25:30

see the millennials clapping back at

25:32

Gen Z with parodies of God bless the

25:34

USA. I haven't seen this, but oh

25:36

my God. It's terrible. Okay. Well, I just want

25:39

to say that the moon is the same size

25:41

as Russia, Canada, and the US combined. That's

25:43

pretty low. That's big. Well, big, but

25:45

also small. Wow.

25:47

That's deep. You couldn't

25:49

walk across it in five steps like I kind of thought.

25:53

Five steps. But

25:57

it's pretty big. to

26:00

go film the first television show on the

26:02

moon. I don't want anything to do with that. You

26:04

don't want anything to do with it but Paul would you do

26:06

it? You would do it. That would be tough because Janie does

26:08

not want to go into space. And

26:11

so that is a way that we can't,

26:14

how are we going to work that out? Yeah. Let

26:17

me soften the deal a little bit. Let me soften the

26:19

deal. We're

26:22

doing location shooting on the moon and

26:24

we're doing it for six months. We're

26:28

going to do like three seasons worth of a show, do

26:30

all of our location shooting on the moon. Yes.

26:33

You would do it. The answer is yes. Nice.

26:36

Really? I want to do this now. You want to

26:39

go to the moon? That's freaking bad. I

26:41

think that's just a priceless experience. Yeah.

26:44

Now. I mean that's why it costs so much

26:46

when they do these space shells. It's like, oh yeah, it's going

26:48

to cost seven million dollars because it is

26:50

in a way priceless. I think I would go to

26:52

the moon when I'm 90. You're

26:55

going to die on the moon when you're 90. That's

26:57

fine though because I could die there to be really cool.

27:00

They could put me in a tomb. If you could die on the moon,

27:02

how would you? Breathing

27:04

the air. I

27:07

just think it's just not what I foresee as

27:09

my death. I'm

27:13

not going there. Everyone knows I'm not going there.

27:15

Everyone knows I'm going to die peacefully in my bed when I'm 99.

27:18

That's the only good way to die. I

27:20

don't want to die falling downstairs. Please, God.

27:22

Alone or in pairs? Don't let me fall

27:24

downstairs. Hmm? I think about that

27:26

every time I walk downstairs. Just

27:29

the idea of what if I just

27:31

flew down these fuckers? I

27:33

just flew down these fuckers. I

27:37

just fly down these fuckers and see what I break

27:40

my neck with. I mean that's terrifying. When

27:42

I was a kid, I was obsessed with throwing myself

27:44

down carpeted stairs. Oh yeah. I

27:47

loved it. Well, the funnest thing was to make getting

27:49

your sleeping bag and going down the carpeted stairs. Weeee!

27:53

Or on a cardboard box. Why aren't you a dumb

27:55

person? I don't want it

27:57

to be when I was a kid. person

28:00

yeah. Oh no I got anything I've tried to

28:02

do stunts it's really not good. I

28:05

remember when I was a kid my

28:07

dad was painting the church and

28:09

I had to hang out there. For what like a sort of penance? As

28:11

a prank? You know

28:13

he was a he was a deacon so he

28:15

would you know would you he would do all

28:17

these things. He was a deacon? He had a

28:19

good deacon. Oh my god

28:22

wait what is a deacon compared to

28:24

a priest? Actually it's just like

28:26

this I don't even get to

28:28

do religious stuff but you can also fall. Yeah

28:30

you could have your cake and eat the two. It's

28:33

like all the behind the scenes shit of like the

28:35

deacons would meet and decide you know

28:37

what should everyone die. What should gay people be allowed

28:39

to do? Exactly. At one point

28:43

they excommunicated someone from our church it

28:45

was very exciting. They basically we

28:47

went to the normal boring church on

28:50

a Sunday and then they said hey

28:52

everyone stick around afterwards because we're gonna

28:54

have an important meeting. I was like

28:56

what? And then they said Everyone

29:00

meaning like the congregation not just

29:02

yeah holy shit. So like you're

29:04

out because what? The normal like

29:07

regulars. Hey all the normal regulars

29:09

stick around because we're gonna have

29:11

a norm. And so then I

29:13

hope you brought some big rocks.

29:15

Then everyone stuck around and they're

29:17

like okay so here's what's going

29:19

on. There is one

29:22

of the members of the church wants

29:26

a divorce and

29:30

is not sorry about it and

29:34

doesn't want forgiveness for it thinks it's the

29:36

right thing to do if you can imagine.

29:39

And so we have no

29:42

other choice

29:44

but to excommunicate this person because the person

29:46

is not saying like hey I got a

29:48

divorce. It was a oh

29:51

sorry was there a helicopter? There was a helicopter just

29:53

under my breath I wanted to get the helicopter song

29:55

in there. I didn't want to disturb the flow. But

29:57

yeah it was so bizarre it was like It's

30:00

not like the person got a divorce

30:02

and felt bad about it and asked

30:04

for forgiveness. This person is planning on

30:06

getting a divorce, thinks there's nothing wrong

30:08

with it, and therefore we need to

30:10

punish them and show that they are

30:13

not walking back fast. I was honestly

30:15

so glad to be excommunicated at that

30:17

point. You go, okay. It's crazy. And

30:20

I can bet that nowadays ... Oh, you

30:22

guys. Yeah, sure. You have an opinion about

30:24

them? You can bet that

30:26

nowadays the church is like, divorce people,

30:28

married people, whatever. Come on in. Please.

30:31

No one wants to be religious anymore. Please. It's

30:33

starting to make less sense to us. But at

30:35

the time it was just such a major

30:37

what? It was

30:39

so crazy. And then I think I waited on the

30:42

person at Olive Garden. Wait, is this restaurant roundup? Or

30:44

was it Marie Callender's? Or was it Cafe Cordiale? Or

30:46

was it ... But I think I waited on the

30:48

person ... Or was it co-folks? Or was it Beez

30:50

and B? And their family. And

30:52

I felt embarrassed because I was part ...

30:55

My dad was a deacon and I was

30:57

like, hey, how's it going? Sorry about all

30:59

that. I guess your life has crumbled into

31:01

sin. Yeah. Too bad for all the things that

31:03

are bad. I'm just a

31:05

teen. I'm just a teen. Yes, I'm only a teen. And I'm sitting

31:07

here in coffee and bean. Well, now I try to ... Never gonna

31:09

poop again. Never gonna poop again. I was trying to do a

31:12

mashup. In my system. The ultimate mashup. The

31:14

ultimate mashup? Open tea. All

31:16

right. We have to take a break.

31:18

All right. We have to take a break. All right. We

31:21

have to take a break. All right. We have to

31:23

take a break. All right. We have to

31:25

take a break. All right. So,

31:32

Mother's Day gifts. Let's talk about

31:35

them. They're so ... When

31:39

you've been on this earth as long

31:41

as we have, it's so predictable. It's

31:44

so boring. Here mom, here's a new

31:46

car. Here's

31:48

a second house for you. It's

31:51

just like, come on guys. This

31:53

is boring, right? Well, that is

31:56

why an Aura frame is

31:59

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32:01

this year. Quite honestly, my mother,

32:03

I think it's the favorite,

32:05

her favorite gift that she's ever received,

32:09

and she would like it better than those other gifts

32:11

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32:13

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32:17

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32:34

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32:37

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32:40

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32:42

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32:44

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32:47

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32:49

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32:51

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32:54

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32:56

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32:58

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33:02

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33:04

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33:06

and my sister. She

33:08

talks about how she gets home and she

33:11

just turns it on and just sits there

33:13

watching it and it like relaxes her after

33:15

a hard day of work. Not

33:18

only is she gonna be grateful it's not

33:20

another sweater but she'll also love that

33:23

an Aura frame means she gets to see more

33:25

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33:27

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35:08

Hi there. It's Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

35:10

You may know me from my podcast called

35:12

Wiser Than Me where I talk to older

35:14

women and get their wisdom from the front

35:17

lines of life. After season one

35:19

aired, I was amazed by how many

35:21

people told me our show made them

35:23

look forward to getting older, which is

35:25

why I'm here to talk about season

35:27

two of the show. Sally Fields, Billie

35:29

Jean Kane, Beverly Johnson, Aina Garten, Bonnie

35:32

Rae, Tiffany McPhew, and of

35:34

course my 90-year-old mom, Judy. All

35:37

hail old women. Wiser

35:39

Than Me season two is now from

35:41

Lemonado Media. We're

35:49

back. We're back. I'm never gonna

35:51

poop again. No. I

35:54

give you guys a lot of leeway. Okay,

35:57

fine. This is where you draw the line. That was just like

35:59

you got it. out there are you happy? You

36:01

have to keep repeating it. It's fine I'm

36:03

gone. Paul, this is our track uniform. I'll

36:06

never do it again except for when I'm

36:08

home. I'm wearing a track suit like Star

36:10

Trek. Yep. Track suit top.

36:12

What's your patch? Two minutes later. It's

36:15

from the Sullivan's Island Fire Department in

36:17

South Carolina. Oh no, this is not

36:19

the fire department. This is just the

36:22

seal, the seal of Sullivan's

36:24

Island South Carolina. It's a seal

36:26

of the city or a seal of

36:28

South Carolina. Seal of the city of

36:30

South Carolina. Gotta go. That clears it

36:32

up. I appreciate the info. You're welcome.

36:35

The song will help you remember. Yes, of course. Um.

36:40

Does California have a song? California

36:42

here I come right back where

36:44

I started from. You got it.

36:46

You shot it every two ways.

36:48

Every state has a state song

36:50

I think. Really? I think so.

36:53

Yeah. Yeah, let's look up California

36:55

state songs. Illinois is the

36:57

place that we're from.

37:00

I don't even think they're like popular songs like

37:03

Chicago. I think they're like all written to be

37:05

the state songs maybe. I think so. It's

37:07

so weird that we do something like that. Did your

37:10

high school have a song? Uh,

37:12

yes. What was it? I

37:16

can vaguely. Centurions we honor

37:18

thee. Something like that. Hours.

37:21

I remember hours. I remember a lot of hours.

37:24

E-T-H-S. We will fight for you. Live

37:27

and die for you. Do what's

37:30

right for you. Something like that. That

37:32

was part of it. That was that was that the

37:34

fight song for the sports teams? Yeah,

37:37

we wouldn't get up and sing it in the morning. Guys,

37:39

this is the state song of

37:41

California called I Love You California.

37:46

Here we go. This

37:51

is bad that it's silent. Really?

37:53

It's going to

37:56

take 10 minutes. Not what I

37:58

expected. L,

38:03

I, S, O,

38:07

I, this can't be the

38:09

real one. No. I

38:12

like that. I like it. I

38:14

love it. I want some

38:16

more of it. Wait, Country Roads now

38:19

is the official state song? What?

38:21

No, the, no, I love you. No, I love you. California

38:24

is the official state song. That's just a version of it.

38:27

A, L, I, S, O, R, N,

38:29

I, A. I

38:32

love orange. Will you look up, oh, that's California.

38:34

That's the state song. Will you look at Pennsylvania?

38:36

Yeah, of course I will Paul. Did he say

38:38

Pennsylvania? C, N, L. Pennsylvania. It's all

38:40

of them. It's

38:46

like the company that makes the jingles for

38:48

radio. Hail Pennsylvania. Let's

38:52

hear a little bit of. Hail Pennsylvania. I would

38:54

have heard. I would have heard. Hail.

38:58

Here we go. This is Hail Pennsylvania.

39:00

H, A, I,

39:03

L, P, E, N, N. Oh

39:07

no. Oh, this

39:09

is like from a skit. God,

39:11

it's like a school. Pennsylvania, my

39:13

80 is your name. Is this

39:15

a lyric from this? In glory

39:17

and tradition, object of a claim.

39:26

Where grave men fought

39:28

the fall of freedom.

39:31

Tyranny decried. I'm

39:33

going to learn this song.

39:36

Fill the bell of independence.

39:39

Fill the countryside.

39:42

Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. May your future be. Yeah, honestly, I

39:44

feel like I get it. Filled with honor everlasting.

39:47

I guess it's close to the end. It sounds

39:49

like it's possible. You

40:00

should make me stop now.

40:04

Alright. Now we gotta hear Illinois. Yeah you have to.

40:07

Alright, Illinois. You know when Sufjan

40:09

was gonna do 50 states albums? Yeah. Yeah.

40:12

He did Illinois and then he stopped. But I

40:15

know. No, you didn't Michigan do it. But I like to

40:17

do Illinois because that's where I'm from so that's the only one

40:19

I really cared about anyway. But I was... I

40:22

could. Alright, here's the... Isn't

40:24

that funny? And I'm just realizing now

40:27

that we represent the

40:29

east, the west. And the middle of the country. Wow.

40:31

This is me. Is this

40:34

Judy Garland? Illinois Illinois For thy

40:36

prairies, burden to

40:39

Prairies Illinois Illinois

40:42

Illinois Illinois Illinois

40:48

Illinois Come

40:56

Santa go on the

40:58

breeze Damn. What?

41:02

Rustling through the

41:04

tree Okay,

41:06

you nailed that one. And

41:08

its mellow tones are the

41:12

Toes. Illinois Illinois Illinois Illinois

41:14

Illinois Illinois Illinois

41:16

Illinois Can you

41:19

play Old Man

41:22

River just Cause

41:25

it made

41:27

me think of that. Old

41:32

Man River

41:37

My Old Man River My

41:40

Old Man River He

41:45

don't say

41:47

nothing But

41:51

Old Man River He

41:54

just keeps rolling

41:57

on. Now

42:05

that is the hallmark of a great song is

42:07

if three people can sing three different parts of

42:09

it at the same time. All

42:12

these state songs I have to say that like it makes

42:14

it sound like it's easy to write a

42:16

song. It was always the best. I was like, I

42:18

don't know if it was the best. It started out a little bit weird and I really

42:20

liked it by the end and I thought, you know what I could

42:23

really see this in a musical and I really want to. I love

42:25

that it was sung by a lady Sean Connery. There's

42:29

probably there's all sorts of different versions

42:31

of it online, but we don't need to hear it.

42:34

My school song was I went

42:36

to Bishop's Avenue at high school, which is about to close

42:38

apparently. Oh no, because you're not there anymore.

42:40

Yeah, they looked around back. They looked around

42:42

and like the life of the party has gone past

42:44

35 years. They've been like, we're just got it.

42:48

It probably is though. Our

42:51

song went like this. The

42:54

heart challenge of

42:56

a marching world. We

42:59

meet accent

43:01

bold while

43:04

cherishing a standard

43:07

ever new as

43:10

ever old. Don't

43:12

don't don't something. That's

43:16

all I remember. Yeah, I've lost the rest.

43:18

All I remember is Oh, Cyprus High. We

43:20

honor the nice and important part. I

43:23

think we held up our hands

43:26

like sees. Oh wait. We bear

43:28

a banner, gold and white, our

43:30

sign of royalty. What's the

43:33

first line? The challenge of

43:35

a marching world. We meet with accent bold.

43:37

This is my school song. We

43:43

will proudly wear may I call

43:46

it their

43:51

flight? Okay.

44:00

Many trophies we will bring so cheer cheer cheer cheer.

44:02

We will win the game for Evanson. Hi I found

44:04

my son have another song like that. I found

44:06

my song from Cyprus. Let's hear it Whoops,

44:10

this is an axe commercial All

44:16

right, here we go, this

44:18

is from Cyprus The

44:25

fuck sounds like shit Is this

44:29

the sugar cubes

44:32

I think it's just getting going you got a Rick Rolla Wow

44:42

I Want

44:52

All right, wait, I found mine by the way

44:54

speaking of Rick Rolling have you seen the video

44:56

recently? Oh, no, what did he do now? Whom

45:00

has you rolled lately? They

45:03

re-released the video. Oh no a week

45:05

ago two weeks ago in ultra

45:07

high-definition 4k. Why? I

45:10

don't know why that everyone's

45:12

to make Rick rolls better, but it

45:14

looks ridiculous. No, that's like a horrible Don't

45:17

you remember when TV started doing that and then it was like

45:19

everything look like it was a play? Yeah

45:23

Like all the stuff of him dancing around

45:25

and all the dancers and stuff like that

45:27

It you can see you can see the

45:29

set now and it looks so That's like

45:31

watching Star Trek the next generation on on

45:33

high done by the way You know what

45:35

I saw on Star Trek next generation I

45:39

thought you were was Clearly

45:42

what you said it's just like watching

45:44

Star Trek. No You

45:49

said it's just like watching Star Trek And

45:53

then he literally said the K of Star Trek you

45:55

done Always

46:01

just go I'm not done and then keep

46:03

talking. That's true. Instead of just that's true sniping.

46:05

I'd be like a bitch You know what? You

46:10

can see like like on the holodeck when they go

46:13

to the holodeck have you seen it It's

46:15

just tape on the wall and you can really Yes,

46:18

it's just like they put yellow tape on the wall

46:21

well, I might have told you when I watched I have the Beverly

46:23

Hills now to another season's one and two on DVD and and

46:27

The two best boom mics who just drop in all the

46:29

time, but I think the TV frame But

46:33

they're just dipping in it looks it's so insane

46:35

pretty common. Yeah Hail

46:49

to you My

46:51

mother hail to you May

46:57

faith and courage be

46:59

our guide god our

47:01

final goal Terrifying

47:05

is that bring you back to become gods

47:09

Yeah to do with my high

47:11

school had a plan to attack and

47:13

dethrone god God, that's awesome.

47:15

They still have that to this day. Well, that's

47:17

why they're closing. They weren't able to do it You have

47:19

to eventually admit defeat good for everyone who follows

47:22

god, but bad for your school. Yeah. Yeah, we gave it

47:24

a shot um, what I saw

47:26

on we gave it a shot What

47:28

I saw on star trek was picard and wezli

47:30

are walking card He card

47:38

They're walking through the ship And

47:40

picard turns to wezli and gives him

47:42

some sort of piece of advice and

47:44

then he moves past camera and wezli

47:46

stays there And then you immediately see

47:48

like picard moving back to

47:50

get back into position It

47:53

was what do you mean? Like he walks back into

47:55

frame he walks back into frame. Yeah, it's so I

47:59

don't know how it I kept how it stayed in

48:01

because it's not like one of those things where

48:03

like like say Tasha you are like waving in

48:05

her final episode that's way in the background that

48:08

like people have to point out it literally the

48:10

first time I watched it was like wait

48:12

he just moved back into frame what happened and I

48:15

rewound it three times. I think it was um

48:17

I just saw something I think it was from Seinfeld

48:19

where there was like a stand-in for one part or

48:21

maybe it's Noah's friends I think friends there's

48:23

a stand-in who like they basically cut away for a

48:25

second and then there's a stand-in in the scene and

48:27

then it's back to being the guy. Oh

48:30

I wonder if it's Matt LeBlanc stand-in who looks

48:32

a lot like Matt LeBlanc. No he was playing

48:34

the dad of someone. Oh okay. Yeah look

48:36

at this little leaf boat. Look

48:38

at the leaf boat. Wow that really is like the that's

48:40

the start of a Pixar movie. Gotta get a

48:43

picture of it maybe I'll post it. Maybe

48:45

you will. But

48:48

you know the big famous one the Star Wars like

48:50

stormtrooper hitting his head when he walks in I never

48:52

saw that when I was a kid. I

48:54

don't know that. It took it took like you

48:56

know it being a thing. It took me out of it.

48:59

Honestly I was like is this even real? That's

49:01

why I've dismissed those films. Donk.

49:04

Donk. Donk show. Donk show.

49:08

Also Shrek that's another one. Donk

49:10

show. Donk show. Donk

49:13

show. Donk show. Donky show. Princess

49:15

Fiona let's go. Donk show. Donk

49:18

show. Donk show. Thank you. Ping

49:21

pong ball. Going out your hole. Out your vagina wall.

49:23

Maybe not true. But it might be true to some.

49:27

ball part. Oh that's because they're popular. Not the ping

49:29

pong ball. The donkey show is

49:31

when a woman defucks a donkey and

49:33

they said that might be a miss.

49:42

The ping pong balls part is true because

49:44

I once saw a video at UCB. Oh

49:47

that happening. Was that in

49:49

a. That was the F'd

49:51

up in legal video. That was during COVID. I

49:54

mean. I broke your end. No one is there. That

49:56

was serious. There was a mysterious. There

49:58

was a mysterious. Video showing. I

50:00

was drawn to it. I

50:05

woke up at home. I heard the sound of... I

50:07

followed until I found the video. I'm realizing

50:10

there's a palm tree thing right

50:12

above that's like hanging on precipitously.

50:14

Above me? No, above right up

50:16

here. Oh, it's gonna fall? On

50:18

one of the windy days though, I will say like, boom, I

50:20

heard one and it just came down. Wow, what a good story.

50:23

Did they ever climb up and trim

50:25

trim trim? That's a very dangerous trim

50:27

trim tree. It seems very dangerous. It's not

50:29

even the tree. Trim trimming? It's...

50:31

I heard that's one of the most dangerous jobs

50:34

in LA because... Well, it's a bendy

50:36

tree. It's not stable. Well, it's not even

50:38

the falling is the dangerous part. It's the cutting

50:40

the palm tree down and it hitting you in the

50:43

head and killing you. Oh, no. Can

50:45

I tell you that I recently I've been...

50:48

I was telling Scott earlier off mic, sorry. We

50:51

can bring her off mic conversation into

50:53

this if you like. Well, I think

50:56

it's time we do. Okay, finally. Lauren,

50:58

you're up. I've been digitizing old VHS

51:00

tape. Oh, yeah. Found my high school

51:02

shows. Oh, God. Started with Mary Poppins,

51:05

where I played the role of Bert the chimney. You were Bert,

51:07

so wonderful. I was the old banker. Oh,

51:10

of course. Would you invest your toppings? Oh,

51:12

wouldn't he live in a bank account? And

51:18

I thought in my mind, I did a very

51:20

good accent. Ah. And

51:23

when I saw it, I cannot believe... I

51:27

thought... I had an

51:29

expectation in my mind of like, well,

51:31

look, I don't expect I'm going to be great

51:33

for these things. You're a kid. I'm a kid

51:35

and whatever. I'm so much worse than I remember.

51:38

Wow, that's awesome. But I remember... Not as bad

51:40

as some, but still not good. I remember certain

51:42

high school shows as being like, just

51:45

as good as Broadway things in my mind.

51:47

Absolutely. Oh, absolutely.

51:49

Absolutely, yeah. But it's just the magic

51:51

of like filling in all the details.

51:53

Yeah. Yeah, that's just a belief. You

51:56

are having these experiences for the... You have nothing to

51:58

compare it to, really. I... version of

52:00

my fair lady I say right now oh I

52:02

love to put on one for you I miss

52:05

one and

52:08

all started at a cold July one-man

52:10

production of hair up was down and

52:15

black was like I woke up and trapped

52:17

you to every world but yeah the my

52:19

fair lady I'd never seen it that it

52:22

probably also helped it was the first time

52:24

ever seen this story so it

52:26

was like I was taken in by the story

52:28

and then the lead guy I remember him being

52:31

so amazing and he

52:33

was like a legend he graduated right as

52:35

I came into high school and he was

52:37

such a legend of like he got every

52:40

good part he was so amazing and I bet if I

52:42

were to actually watch that show again like as an

52:44

adult I'd be like yeah a

52:46

little hammy no I know I'd love

52:48

to watch some old thing like that

52:50

it's it's wild I really I were

52:53

you getting applause and stuff like that no

52:56

I was doing well yes is this all

52:58

your shot to be on Disney's encore oh

53:01

my god I keep forgetting I want to watch that

53:03

I got watched a few episodes of it

53:05

I feel like I got the idea I

53:07

want to get the idea I like episode

53:09

three to watch oh great um I when

53:11

I first heard about that idea I was

53:13

like I would absolutely do that in a

53:15

heartbeat we should explain it it's basically

53:20

it's basically people who were all in high

53:22

school together in a play in a

53:25

musical usually they get back

53:27

together decades later to redo the play

53:30

now when when we first heard the idea

53:33

Jamie thought they did it like on

53:35

fucking Broadway like they mounted like no

53:37

they do it a full professional

53:40

like for one night obviously but like it

53:42

was that they were gonna do a full

53:44

professional version of it they do it in

53:46

the actual high school well

53:49

that mean that's what I expected yeah but I

53:51

felt like but today they try they do

53:53

the back they bring in like

53:55

Broadway performers as ringers to be

53:58

like the chorus sometimes yeah So

54:00

it's and they and they do a full set

54:02

and they do like a major production. Yeah today

54:05

They like track down all the speaking like

54:07

whoever had a speaking roles and there's they're

54:09

really interesting things of like Oh, this guy

54:11

was one of the leads of Oklahoma and

54:14

was a great dancer But now he's in

54:16

a wheelchair and so how is he going

54:18

to adapt? you know it like

54:20

delves into the the beefs behind

54:22

performers or like the people who used

54:24

to Be in a romance who broke

54:26

up and why did they break up and all the Really

54:29

it's really good and I was like, oh, yeah,

54:31

would I do it? You know, I went to like

54:34

oh, yeah It's your dream. I went to the school of the

54:36

arts Well

54:40

the Mary Poppins the girl who played Mary

54:42

Poppins She like went to Broadway and got

54:45

a Tony nomination from it And it's like

54:47

it's wild how many of them did not

54:49

pursue I guess it's not that wild but

54:51

yeah hardly any of them actually Pursued showbiz

54:54

after that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they're all

54:56

also in different states Which I think

54:58

is another impediment of like there are

55:00

certain people who were like I

55:03

decided to do it I moved to New

55:05

York I tried and and you know, I

55:08

it just didn't work out after Yeah,

55:10

five or eight years. There are some people who are still

55:12

trying to do it Yeah, which are really interesting and they're

55:15

the people they're the people who come in and they're sort

55:17

of like Like oh,

55:19

I'm gonna be really good in this and

55:21

they're and sometimes they're not it's really I

55:25

would probably do it. I mean if you were the right show

55:27

I mean like if it were like I said

55:29

the Mary Poppins was fun I

55:31

would do that and that had like a guy who was on

55:33

a Nickelodeon show was Burt and But

55:36

even the ones from the high school. Yeah, he

55:38

was in yeah Yeah, so that one is like

55:40

those guys were really good like the like it

55:42

was the school of the arts so like Susan

55:45

Egan is who I'm talking about she she Like

55:48

voiced Disney cartoons and she was beauty and the

55:50

Beast on Broadway and got a Tony nomination like

55:53

she was Mary Poppins and she was like Professional

55:55

grade. Yeah, like great, you know, and this is

55:58

high school age. This is high school Yeah,

56:00

so we were all 17 and and

56:02

burt was uh this guy david saddoni

56:04

who is also like the best and

56:06

you know, like Went

56:08

into a nickelodeon show out of that, right? And

56:10

so like yeah, I don't think it would be

56:12

that different, you know Like they would all be just

56:14

as good as they were back then. I mean

56:16

having seen it I would I

56:19

would do mary poppins again and do that of all

56:21

the shows that we did That

56:23

was the most fun I

56:25

think the and also the one that I

56:27

could bear like to do again because we

56:29

did like carousel, which is weird We

56:31

did care show we did the same shows Yeah,

56:34

did you use the south pacific? No, no, but we did

56:36

god spell. Who are we talking about? I've never done god

56:38

spell, but it was it was a big it was a

56:40

big deal when I was a kid um

56:43

I I did yeah, I was luther billis.

56:46

I was I was jigger jigger

56:48

kraig in Oklahoma,

56:50

oh and no in uh, oh in carousel

56:53

Who is like he's a he's a villain.

56:56

Yeah, he's basically the same dude in oklahoma

56:59

Who has judd as judd? Yeah, and

57:01

I I was shocked I

57:04

got I walked into them as i'm digitizing

57:06

these I can't like sit and watch them

57:08

as it's happening So I will like check

57:10

on the yeah, I just got like a

57:12

fucking uh, I I bought a while ago But

57:14

I vcr for this purpose, right and then it's just

57:16

been sitting in the garage. So I was finally doing

57:19

it and um I

57:21

sent all mine to that company that we talked about this though.

57:23

Yeah. Yeah, and I was like I can just do it I

57:25

know the palm. I was nervous about sending them away because I

57:27

was like, what if I never get him back? But

57:29

you did then that's just now I have to figure

57:31

out a way To dispose of these

57:34

vhs dates because you can't just throw them away. You

57:36

can't just throw them away They're

57:38

not they're not they're not trash and

57:40

they're not recyclable. Whoa How

57:43

do you do it? Do you have to drive to the dump just

57:45

to size them and keep them? Um, no,

57:47

there's places that take them so I have to

57:49

like old blockbusters Do

57:58

you think if someone dropped up? off if

58:00

you were a person who disposed of them and someone dropped

58:02

off someone would you watch them I would. Yeah

58:05

probably. I know. If I

58:07

was bored enough. I'd flip around see what's on there. Yeah.

58:12

I in so in person. I digitized all my porn.

58:14

I want to donate. I finally digitized

58:16

all my porn. I walked

58:18

into the room and it was a scene

58:20

where I had like this

58:22

huge laugh line where the camera was not

58:24

on me because I was on the other

58:26

side of the stage. Oh damn. And

58:29

then I was on this other guy the guy playing

58:31

Billy Bigelow for his set up to my line and

58:34

then I do the line huge laugh

58:36

and the camera fucking slowly crawled

58:39

back over. So who made the video

58:41

the school? Yeah somebody

58:43

that they that offered or said like

58:45

I'll do it for this fee or

58:47

whatever the recordings are terrible. This

58:50

one camera. Yeah. It's always from the

58:52

back of the room and it's always

58:54

just like random zooming in and out.

58:57

They play and they're trying to figure out

58:59

what's happening. They're always terrible. And this one

59:01

what's amazing is we paid money for this.

59:03

It cuts off before the end. No.

59:06

No. Because it was longer than two hours. Yes.

59:08

It's crazy. They were doing it in high

59:11

quality. Yeah. Oh yeah. The

59:13

highest. But I so I walk in the room. My laugh line is missed

59:16

and then next I have a scene with this young lady named Grace. Grace

59:18

McGuire. And

59:21

we have this exchange where we

59:23

don't like each other. We're trading insults.

59:25

I at one point call her a

59:29

wobbly-hipped old slut. Wow.

59:32

That's the line though isn't it? That's the line.

59:34

But it was shocking to me. How can you

59:36

go off script? And there's people there's people in

59:39

the audience. It's a mixed reaction from the crowd.

59:41

Right. Because there was there's

59:43

probably sluts in the audience. Yeah. Yeah

59:45

they're excited. You wobbly-hipped old slut from

59:47

the crowd. There

59:54

are gasps. There are laughs. And then

59:56

what you hear whippers that applaud. Wow.

59:58

Like think something's wrong. Well,

1:00:00

she was also like in someone's business a

1:00:03

lot in the play, right? She was. She

1:00:05

was a wobbly-hipped old slut. A

1:00:08

wobbly-hipped old slut. My

1:00:10

friends, when we were in... That title of that. Did

1:00:12

you say I like it? I like it. Well, I

1:00:15

never heard it before. When

1:00:17

we were in Jesus Christ Superstar, it was

1:00:19

like one of the better productions I've ever

1:00:21

done. This was when I... Oh, I thought you were

1:00:23

going to say of all time. Of all time. This

1:00:25

is when I was 19. It was also incredible. It

1:00:27

was... It got raved. Like anyone

1:00:29

who came to it was like in tears

1:00:31

the entire time. And it was... Oh

1:00:34

yeah, I've not experienced that. It

1:00:36

was one of the better shows I'd ever done. And my friend

1:00:38

who was in it ended up filming

1:00:41

every night of it with close-ups and

1:00:43

stuff and then was going to edit

1:00:46

it together. Wow. And he

1:00:48

did the most amazing... You know in

1:00:50

the overture of Jesus Christ Superstar, he

1:00:52

did the most amazing montage of people

1:00:54

getting ready for the show, like backstage

1:00:56

stuff at this point. That's amazing. It

1:00:58

was amazing. And then he got up

1:01:00

to like song two and gave up

1:01:02

on the project. Oh no! So

1:01:04

the rest of the video is all just a

1:01:06

one camera show. That is so stupid. He

1:01:09

did finish it, but he stopped finishing it good.

1:01:13

He only finished like two or three songs of it and

1:01:15

then was like, this is just too much fucking work. Oh,

1:01:17

it's so funny. It's so amazing for everyone now. Yeah, it

1:01:19

was cool. Having the behind the scenes stuff is

1:01:21

really the best. I mean, I don't have anything like that.

1:01:23

It's crazy. Like now with having your

1:01:25

phone, I feel like anyone who does a school play must

1:01:27

have so much footage of everything.

1:01:30

But we just had like... But the editing is together. I

1:01:32

have like photos of behind the scenes kind of stuff

1:01:35

a little bit. We did a concert in this

1:01:37

band that I was in for one night only.

1:01:40

We rehearsed over and over and over and

1:01:43

we only did one performance. Were

1:01:46

you nervous? No. And I

1:01:48

in fact overslept and barely made it to

1:01:50

it because it was a midnight performance. Pocky?

1:01:53

No, it was on this stage after a performance

1:01:56

of The Normal Heart. So

1:01:59

it was... was at midnight or something and I

1:02:02

like went to sleep accidentally and then they had

1:02:04

to call me and wake me up and get

1:02:06

me there. But the guy who shot that did

1:02:08

all the backstage stuff and like edited it together

1:02:10

and it was like that's one of the few

1:02:12

video tapes I have. That's

1:02:15

cool where it's like oh wow this is like almost

1:02:18

a professional grade thing of a dumb show that

1:02:20

I did you know. If you need to digitize

1:02:22

I'm your man. Hey. If

1:02:25

you need one thing digitized I'll do it. How

1:02:27

might I take you up on that? That's a

1:02:29

good offer actually if I find an old tape. Yeah. Oh

1:02:32

wait hold on a second. One thing before we go

1:02:34

to break Paul has a thing. I am remembering. I'm

1:02:38

not going to break. I'll get it. Okay we'll be right

1:02:40

back. Hey

1:02:46

everyone it's David Duchovny. Do you

1:02:48

ever feel like a failure? Trust

1:02:50

me I get it. Hell I've spent

1:02:52

my whole life almost feeling like a

1:02:55

failure. It's appropriate though

1:02:57

because on Fail Better my new podcast

1:02:59

with Lemon Automedia exploring the

1:03:01

world of failure how it holds us

1:03:04

back propels us forward and

1:03:06

ultimately shapes our lives is the whole

1:03:08

point. Each week

1:03:10

I'll chat with artists, athletes, actors

1:03:12

and experts about how

1:03:14

our perceived failures have actually been our

1:03:17

biggest catalysts for growth, revelation

1:03:20

and even healing. Through these conversations I hope

1:03:22

we can learn how to embrace the opportunity

1:03:24

of failure and Fail Better

1:03:27

together. Fail Better

1:03:29

is out on May 7th wherever you get your

1:03:31

podcasts. Welcome

1:03:34

to the doe where Cash is

1:03:36

queen and we hardly know her

1:03:38

but we're still here figuring her

1:03:40

out together because y'all season two

1:03:42

is here hosted every week by

1:03:44

me Ex-Maya. Remember me? I'm

1:03:47

going to be talking to all types

1:03:49

of people about their relationship to money.

1:03:51

I'm talking to reality stars, entrepreneurs, financial

1:03:53

experts and even some of my own

1:03:56

friends. Basically anyone who will get

1:03:58

real with me about their dollars. make

1:04:00

money how they spend it and how

1:04:02

they save it because I'm trying to

1:04:04

retire early people. Season two

1:04:06

of The Doe is out now wherever

1:04:08

you get your podcasts. Welcome

1:04:14

back to Freedom. I remembered what I was going

1:04:17

to talk about. Say it. At the end of

1:04:19

Mary Poppins, which I guess was that was our

1:04:21

we did we would do a fall show and

1:04:23

we would do a or I should say a

1:04:25

winter show a spring show and

1:04:28

the winter show was always children's theater and

1:04:30

so when we did Mary Poppins at

1:04:33

the very end of the tape I completely

1:04:35

forgot about this and I have no recollection

1:04:37

of it whatsoever. We

1:04:40

sang a couple Christmas songs

1:04:43

in like we all leave the stage

1:04:45

we go somewhere wherever we go the camera does

1:04:47

not follow us. So in pitch black we're singing

1:04:49

you know I'll Come All You Faithful or something

1:04:52

and at the end of this is how

1:04:55

the tape ends at

1:04:57

the end of I'll Come All You Faithful the camera which

1:04:59

has still been locked off on the stage Santa

1:05:02

Claus appears and

1:05:04

says Merry Christmas here everybody he

1:05:06

walks down into the audience

1:05:09

goes over to these people. Well,

1:05:12

he goes. So let's

1:05:14

run a different show. Wait, they only

1:05:16

went to show if they were mentioning it? Oh yes. Was

1:05:20

it wobbly? Wobbly and

1:05:22

don't say. They're not going to stupid

1:05:24

high school plays. But if they hear

1:05:26

their talking about it. Yeah, they hear like I hear they're in the

1:05:29

second row. He leans over

1:05:31

and starts talking to some people in the

1:05:33

second row. We all

1:05:35

the rest of the cast like comes

1:05:37

in behind like in the background in front of the

1:05:39

stage and we start

1:05:41

singing some other Christmas Carol while

1:05:43

Santa has a conversation with his

1:05:46

back to the camera with these

1:05:48

people we finish

1:05:50

the song and then the show is over. Who's he

1:05:53

having a conversation? I have no idea.

1:05:56

You have no recollection of what this is.

1:05:58

No, it's so strange. I

1:06:00

wonder if he was like gonna do

1:06:02

something right after the show like he like walks out and

1:06:04

gives a present to Elizabeth and Then comes on stage goes

1:06:07

and like does a little speech but like they didn't put it

1:06:09

in. Yeah I don't know. It looks like

1:06:11

he's giving them news Alright

1:06:23

it's three-chair time This

1:06:25

is something called rated scene. Oh,

1:06:27

yeah, this is submitted by Kristen

1:06:29

Kelly. Hello Kristen. Hi All

1:06:34

right First we

1:06:36

improvise a two-minute scene.

1:06:38

Oh, no, it has to be G rated. Oh,

1:06:41

come on Hold on. I think

1:06:43

I think I see where this going Lord and I

1:06:45

think you're gonna be surprised now We do this then

1:06:47

we do the same thing over again. We make a

1:06:49

PG. Okay, we do it again We all

1:06:51

have an understanding what that is. We make

1:06:54

a PG 13 1 f word and not

1:06:56

in a non-sexual sense And

1:06:58

then we finally do it as our rated We

1:07:01

don't do NC 17 we don't do that we can do X We

1:07:05

can do X. All right, hold on

1:07:07

a second. So G I of course is

1:07:09

very sweet and nice I get that yeah

1:07:12

PG you can say damn and hell

1:07:15

and have it be have things

1:07:17

happen. They're a little Okay,

1:07:19

yeah, all right, but PG 13 for

1:07:21

instance a person who's 13 With

1:07:25

their parents present 13

1:07:28

you can say a bunch of curse words, but

1:07:30

you can only say the f-word f word once

1:07:32

in a non-sexual word In

1:07:35

a non-sexual context and then are

1:07:37

you can say the f word you can be

1:07:39

whatever you want, but there's no sex So I

1:07:41

told 13 you can say fuck you onus. Take

1:07:43

my dick in your pussy Yeah, I don't think

1:07:45

you think pussy, but I said fucking a non-sexual.

1:07:47

Yes, and that does count and then Then

1:07:50

are you can't show a male erect penis,

1:07:52

but you can show I wasn't going But

1:07:59

you sure what A floppy

1:08:01

dick. Yep. Alright, let's

1:08:03

do it. Alright, here we go. Two

1:08:05

minutes. Do we need a suggestion? No. Okay,

1:08:08

here we go. Are you timing? I'm

1:08:10

timing. Okay. Dad? Dad?

1:08:14

Yes. What is it, sweetheart? Yes,

1:08:16

we're your two dads. The dog got

1:08:18

out. Oh no, is that why the cops are here? Did

1:08:20

you call the police? I called the police because you

1:08:23

always told me if anything bad happened, I should call It's

1:08:26

not really a 911 issue. It's

1:08:28

more of a let's go out ourselves and look and

1:08:31

then call... Who do we call? But

1:08:33

we're glad you're Ghostbusters. Oh,

1:08:35

that's right. But we're glad

1:08:37

you were listening to us, honey. Thanks,

1:08:40

good dad. Wait, I'm

1:08:42

bad dad? That makes you the bad

1:08:44

dad. I won. Why? Because

1:08:46

you were scolding me while good dad said I'm

1:08:49

still a good person. I didn't

1:08:51

go that far. I don't remember what he said. I said

1:08:53

thanks for listening to us. I never said

1:08:55

you were a good person. I think you're a good person,

1:08:57

but I do not thank you for listening to us. I

1:08:59

thank you for listening to us. I think you could be

1:09:01

a better person. Wow. Well, anyway.

1:09:03

Now go to bed. The

1:09:06

dog. Oh, that's right. The dog.

1:09:08

Listen, can I tell you a

1:09:10

secret and you can't tell bad dad? Okay.

1:09:13

I'll just go over here. The dog's

1:09:15

not coming back, honey. What do you mean? He doesn't like

1:09:18

it here. This is really a G? What are you guys

1:09:20

talking about? Huh? Nothing. Nothing.

1:09:23

Good dad

1:09:26

said the dog doesn't like it here and he's not coming back.

1:09:29

The dog's coming. What? Sweetheart.

1:09:31

I'm sorry. I had to tell. It

1:09:33

felt right. Why would you lie to me about the dog?

1:09:35

The dog doesn't like you. Are you sure the dog

1:09:37

didn't just die and is in heaven and you're...

1:09:41

Oh, shit. Is this feeling peachy? Oh, I said

1:09:43

shit. Oh, no. We got cat food. Okay.

1:09:46

My kids... Wow. We

1:09:48

could not even guess through too much. Two minutes is too long. My parents are not

1:09:50

going to be able to tell me. I'm sorry. Two minutes

1:09:52

is too long. My pitch is... I agree. My

1:09:55

pitch is that it gets shorter at each time

1:09:57

you do a new thing because it's like you...

1:10:00

All right minute good 30 for

1:10:02

the first for the beauty. Let's

1:10:04

just go right to PG 13

1:10:07

Yeah, we already said she's unfortunate. So

1:10:09

that was the that was the bad

1:10:11

news bears era PG. Yeah, that's true

1:10:14

So you get we you get one f

1:10:17

word you only get one effort. Okay. Yeah,

1:10:19

and it has to be non-sexual All right,

1:10:21

ready and go fuck what happened?

1:10:25

No, I want to say something so bad, but

1:10:27

I wish I could express my feelings about that

1:10:30

Dad stop making out we need to find the

1:10:32

dog Honey, I love him

1:10:34

very much and I want to shove my tongue down his

1:10:36

throat My

1:10:47

penis is not erect though, don't worry You

1:10:54

talk about it though, it's blue and

1:10:56

veiny honey Okay,

1:11:00

all right, I think we've messed this

1:11:02

whole thing up You

1:11:09

know what Kelly is this what you wanted? Kristen

1:11:13

Kelly Okay,

1:11:16

let's do Do

1:11:19

you want to go the other way Okay

1:11:23

minute 30 we start our okay,

1:11:25

and then we'll go I mean then G. I like

1:11:27

putting turning it on its head. All right minute 30.

1:11:29

Here we go Hey

1:11:32

fuckers. What's up? Hey, can you

1:11:34

stop sucking my dick long enough? No

1:11:40

New scene well I Just

1:11:45

suck you dick in every scene we do Okay,

1:11:54

new scene okay, here we go and

1:11:56

go hey

1:11:59

guys Um, the fuck do you want?

1:12:02

What is it? I'm sorry to

1:12:04

disturb you! I know I'm

1:12:06

supposed to be on guard duty, but I think I saw something

1:12:08

suspicious. You goddamn piece of shit. You're

1:12:11

such an asshole liar. These two fucking

1:12:13

assholes come up to me on the

1:12:15

street, and they're like, Hey, do

1:12:18

you got a cigarette? And I'm like,

1:12:20

get the fuck outta here. Oh,

1:12:22

they probably thought your limp dick was a

1:12:24

cigarette, which is on display. How did you

1:12:26

get it? It's not

1:12:29

hard. It's so skinny and

1:12:31

little, and pure white with a brown

1:12:33

tip, and smoke coming out of the egg. And

1:12:36

zeed. Alright,

1:12:41

PG-13 version. Ready,

1:12:43

go. Fuck. Hey

1:12:46

guys. Hey, what's wrong? I

1:12:50

heard that guy ask you for a cigarette. Yeah,

1:12:53

well I wanted to say there's something suspicious out

1:12:55

there. These guys came up to me, and they

1:12:57

were like, do you have a light, or do

1:12:59

you have a cigarette? And I was like, get

1:13:01

the hell outta here. They probably

1:13:03

thought you're, oh what? Yeah, presumably limp dick.

1:13:07

Don't talk about my ding dong. But

1:13:12

describe it please. Well,

1:13:14

it shriveled. And

1:13:20

zeed. Alright,

1:13:23

G version. Oh no. And go.

1:13:26

That was PG. Hey guys. What's

1:13:28

up? I

1:13:30

was, you know how I was playing outside? Yeah.

1:13:34

These kids came up and asked if I had

1:13:36

candy. Why don't you put your little cigarette in

1:13:39

the way? And

1:13:42

zeed. Alright.

1:13:48

I think we did. I

1:13:52

mean, no one wants us to play the game

1:13:54

correctly, right? No, not the girls. Guys,

1:13:56

thanks for listening. That was fun. See

1:13:59

you later. Oh, I'm done. Did

1:14:08

you ever get hit with a cringy memory of your 13

1:14:11

year old self out of nowhere and suddenly your

1:14:13

panic sweating and laughing at the same time? Don't

1:14:15

worry. Don't worry. We all get that. Because

1:14:18

being an adolescent is one of the most

1:14:20

visceral shared experiences we have as people. And

1:14:22

we want to talk about it. Join me, Penn

1:14:25

Badgley, and my two friends, Nav and

1:14:27

Sophie, on Podcrust, as we interview celebrity

1:14:29

guests about the joys and horrors of

1:14:32

being a teenager and how those moments made

1:14:34

them who they are today. New

1:14:36

episodes of Podcrust are out on April 24th, wherever

1:14:38

you get your podcasts. Last

1:14:41

Day from Lemon Automedia explores the moments that

1:14:43

change us. Those times where you look back

1:14:45

and say, whoa, one day I was myself

1:14:47

and the next I wasn't. I'm

1:14:50

Stephanie Whittles-Waxx, and I have seen time and

1:14:52

time again how sharing these stories can change

1:14:54

lives. So do you have a

1:14:56

moment in your life that changed you? Fundamentally and

1:14:58

forever? What happened? How did

1:15:01

you move through it? And how

1:15:03

did you eventually start again? If

1:15:05

you'd like to share your story,

1:15:07

go to bit.ly slash lastdaystories. BIT.L-Y

1:15:09

slash lastdaystories. We can't wait to hear from you.