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Going on among. Wrong

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guy. You

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will learn. When you're sick again.

0:44

You either that you, it's either absurd. Again, I'm

0:46

always sick little and one sick. And at

0:48

one six as I was born, I think you have allergies.

0:51

And he really have hay fever. He really not

0:53

sick like a virus. Why?

0:55

Will your head against on When I bought it? you'll

0:57

find. Out which is the

0:59

cold? maybe but you are on.

1:01

You or you are you. Are you on?

1:03

You've always been and you've only got delayed.

1:05

been a day long. Maribor. With. Your

1:07

repairs. Or rip Europe. But. You

1:10

have already at one time. And.

1:12

He loved it, didn't like it look at. I

1:15

arm. And if we

1:17

should talk about this but I tell you about what happened to me,

1:19

I'm. Lucky. City. We're We're

1:21

We're in. A city. For

1:24

your i like city. Okay, so

1:26

I was with Karloff. That's

1:28

already a hero interest story. And onstage

1:30

the lady walked up on stage. She made our

1:32

way. Oh wow, the woods. It's

1:35

a part of of the act. Ah ago.

1:37

Beautiful women will com a buzz. Isn't Mcgowan

1:39

me? But they're like actors. Know.

1:43

That so well I don't know their i am be viewed but

1:45

the distillery. Was a part of the Acc then.

1:47

So I don't go I would try to be

1:49

given agent they are normally com the logo oliver

1:52

that are not. That. We have you.

1:54

Okay, so you're just making out with beautiful

1:56

women? This is. Lenny.

1:59

way Tell the story no

2:02

Afterwards in your face go I was like,

2:04

okay. Wait, you know afterwards afterward very after

2:06

Carlos go there at the hardrock but and

2:08

then Carlos goes well I meet

2:11

with the girl afterwards and we're at the

2:13

center bar around the with hard rock and

2:15

she's with her sister and a little

2:17

Girl and and then Carlos

2:20

and McCone come and

2:22

then he starts to give them shots You

2:25

know man, and then like the girl takes

2:28

a shot And

2:30

then her face turns all pale and she has a

2:32

cup And

2:35

like first of all, I see like lime lime

2:37

was it with the meat of the lime Back

2:42

up the meat meat is alive. Yeah. Yeah the

2:44

meat of the line coming out of her nose

2:46

Oh my god, a full-blown cucumber. I don't know

2:48

where she ate a cucumber and

2:50

then like red vomit comes out of

2:52

her mouth The shot was

2:55

not red. No, so it's like food that the shit

2:57

like a beef stew earlier or whatever Or

3:00

a jambalaya if I may Yeah,

3:02

I mean, you know me and so she

3:04

vomits Ferociously into the cup

3:07

and we all go. Oh What

3:10

do you do I

3:14

just farted garlic fart right now. Did

3:16

you smell it? You will I bet garlic

3:18

farts all night Because I had it, you

3:20

know what I had last night. Oh I Had

3:23

a fucking garlic bagel, but it was so

3:26

garlicky That it in a

3:28

fuse into my stomach and now my farts in

3:30

a lot of garlicky But you also eat like

3:32

whole cloves of garlic Yeah,

3:34

but not last night. I'm just telling the truth. I'm

3:36

just being me. Okay. So what happened

3:38

with it anyway She vomits all over the thing with

3:41

the jambalaya and you make out with it. No, no, no,

3:43

I eat crazy No, and then she goes

3:48

I Did I go didn't they go you

3:50

want more shots I didn't do that,

3:52

but I didn't do that But you know those guys

3:55

did yeah, you know mean She

3:57

takes a little shot and then she vomits again. Oh

4:00

Gary and the right over the should try to

4:02

kiss or if. I

4:05

did it Seats are guess I was a

4:07

dried you know every by was like this

4:09

is disgusting you at the same farm that's

4:12

why you have the garlic sports know of

4:14

over there gets worse case to the I

4:16

go back to my hotel room I call

4:18

us cause we're like. Many hours

4:20

later look for the morning. Because

4:22

they want us to come were there

4:24

are hotel room my second like that

4:26

Carlos Ruiz says and Jaeger some eaten

4:29

her like mission impossible though I go

4:31

ahead of the want to go will

4:33

I'm stood like yo gets really get

4:35

the taser my mom we gonna go

4:37

do he's gotta go it's a guaranteed

4:40

your with ah like I felt like

4:42

I was ecology and I never went

4:44

to college. Well. Anyway,

4:46

it gets worse for your fans. We get to

4:49

the room. Of. So you

4:51

go? Yeah, of course, It

4:53

is. I guess it's a ten miles down the road

4:56

and Devoto. So. Sick for three.

4:58

the more it's. So. Cold.

5:01

And. Ago other of so there goes my

5:03

a career at Her. She's a little

5:05

friend who's a skater. A

5:08

she looks to be with like her fists

5:10

like this. Zola subsidized

5:12

nothing. I. And.

5:14

A joke. Illegal. If you're gonna hit me, hit me. As.

5:17

She punches mean the face as hard as

5:19

he has is happening. And

5:21

the Carlos doesn't set chronicles and we got

5:23

the okay. And I like

5:26

it at my face as Reagan. Paranoia

5:28

irreverent and ago we that ago and

5:30

he's with the the girl sister is

5:32

a come under a good in the.

5:35

School. Puts in the face.

5:37

Of a wide as she punched. That's

5:40

still a mystery. They'll never be like

5:42

that. Her girlfriend maybe you. Know

5:44

that was that. Maybe they were in a relationship? Know

5:47

for sure not. Because. a later she

5:49

d m me go at that particular it's

5:52

have allowed to go oh my or yards

5:54

like cause so sorry I don't. Know.

5:56

Why I wrote his junk. Yeah.

6:00

Bobby what I mean this sounds like

6:02

fun if you were like like you

6:04

said in college. I never went that's why oh I

6:08

never went I'm doing it now It's

6:12

a problem what's the problem?

6:14

Oh? This

6:16

is a different part of it's a different life

6:18

looks very different than yours. I

6:20

know but you know what I'm

6:23

experimenting Okay, I mean with

6:25

different college vibes wait can we talk about

6:27

your trip to Austin? Why

6:30

were you there? Why can

6:32

we talk about it? Why

6:35

are you there? Well? Why were you

6:37

you guys were there too right? Yeah? We'll have

6:42

How was it how is it

6:45

being on Rogan? Number

6:49

one um It was nerve,

6:51

right. I mean I would I mean the night before Theo

6:55

Whitney reached out and I go I feel

6:57

nervous and they go it's just It's

7:00

just always like that with comics. They feel a little

7:02

nervous. What were you most nervous about? Certain

7:07

things being talked about But

7:10

then um But

7:12

then like but then I was like oh well, but

7:15

I know him I've known him for so long as

7:17

really fine, and it was fine. I think I was

7:19

more impressed by His

7:21

club I Thought the

7:23

club was nice And

7:26

I it's what an incredible

7:28

achievement and then you

7:30

know Shane lives there now Gillis and I

7:34

it I I bought I think

7:36

I bought into it Everything

7:39

everyone yeah, everybody listen to ask me. Yeah,

7:41

is Bobby actually moving to Austin yeah? I

7:43

bought it was convincing him every day every

7:45

day And it was like it

7:47

was like it felt like yeah,

7:50

maybe really then I called Andrew he goes no,

7:52

I don't okay Wow

7:56

Okay, because I have to do, he has to go with

7:58

me. Will be

8:00

full time you have a house There are also

8:02

felt like it like for like a little L

8:04

A like every to everybody behind the scenes like

8:06

the use we thought the mothership like by was

8:09

like you're here to yeah lotta young guys over

8:11

there is a lot of people. I foot forgot

8:13

that they were even existed. And

8:15

I'm like oh you came here we have

8:17

an i thought you had quit or. I

8:21

think they're Yaya! Is. A his

8:23

people are him. Will real hurry his

8:25

ear. Ah

8:29

little allow hi.

8:31

Oh shit. Castle days Low. Do

8:33

you a different. Feel.

8:36

A bit. More

8:39

handsome or something. and realize. What

8:43

has to realize? A.

8:47

Little. Reviews you live for. A

8:49

living willing to use like if I had that

8:51

I four minutes the area. Of.

8:54

Zulu, you'd live a hobby than that in the

8:56

nice house. Romania? er ja rule that? Yeah, he

8:58

will do the gay community. Ah,

9:00

I'm jaded or were at his. So

9:07

do you go to what's look what? I have a

9:10

sergeant, What comedy clubs you play useless. To

9:13

my in L A O decision Kissinger like what's

9:15

your favorite club Things. Move.

9:18

You know, you know, a club I absolutely

9:20

love isn't as real signs. Of

9:22

the great ones as much the I love

9:24

Those Guys so yeah I do it. Added

9:26

a com The Avenue or really your Dorfman

9:28

Brothers? Yeah yeah yeah. The super sweet and

9:30

the staff as nice as a good room

9:32

is the audience test that Nashville are when

9:35

I played it. Yeah. Probably.

9:37

Twelve years ago, I couldn't wrong. Sadly,

9:39

Sold half the room so my experiences different

9:41

the you went into like awesome movie star

9:44

or not not also so when i first

9:46

started hit learn and ah i'm a lot

9:48

of clubs who was like like you say

9:50

like you may have to give out the

9:52

cops and I am. Ah but

9:54

in is funny when the change

9:57

happens. In as an artist given

9:59

rise. Did you? You could see

10:01

the changes immediately. Thought it's in the I

10:03

saw it first started. We lay. Your.

10:05

That good that we can. I say you do

10:08

really well Thursday Diaz start to talk about ah

10:10

and a your shows fill up in India clubs

10:12

love your own about we want to bring you

10:14

back as you actually funny yeah. And

10:16

there was the you know, At

10:19

the Carmichael show after hours in a little

10:21

bit more on when get out came out

10:23

yeah like night in daylight that by then

10:25

it became an audience who did new ideas

10:27

stand up on still our ah can have

10:29

done a special. So. People

10:31

don't have a special class of people come to be

10:34

they go scissors do comedy and what I see they

10:36

go i are you can do is. Wait,

10:38

A minute know I was never don't

10:41

wanna laugh and wanna. A

10:43

lot we I wrote about Mike was a deal live

10:46

well as why I do. I do what. Why?

10:48

Do you do like had to give you? Give me a pet you're my

10:50

age. It. Has that if it's

10:52

if it's a pittance. yeah I'm your age. that

10:54

a I just thought that so yeah you're right.

10:56

Ring ring out Yeah what subtler of i love

10:59

of results that you for signing me. Iso

11:02

so you got a huge users light. his

11:04

cigarettes are still tapped out to be about

11:06

up doing a special why should I do

11:08

was because everybody of the for what's that

11:10

one hundred when you first other okay well

11:12

as fuck fuck fuck what I'm not talking

11:15

from Asia personnel gaga as a comic there

11:17

was a fanny you the i think you

11:19

should do spurs are low but up asking

11:21

you why. Just invincible. Just do. The mix

11:23

tape seekers you have is great that you haven't

11:25

done one and so now you could literally to

11:28

do the best of of what the fuck you

11:30

want to do in a be the greatest special

11:32

voter Id or yeah, But. My point

11:34

is what is the benefit? You

11:36

be a fuck a superstar. But.

11:39

What do I wanna that? that's a good point

11:41

B Y will not that yeah like right now

11:43

it's like okay, can I sell out. Comedy.

11:46

Clubs? Yes, Yes! Without.

11:48

Ever do your status special? I can do

11:50

it right and it's A. And then I

11:52

look at Cel. You're. Doing

11:54

like Melbourne city of I don't

11:56

want that just so likable if

11:58

you did there. You. Would start doing

12:01

like but I don't want that is I don't want

12:03

to be you to call play a lot of

12:05

like Ghazi when i I want to be for gaza

12:07

want to be extra ritual know. Look. As

12:09

good as simple as that. But let's look

12:11

at the little house I have. yeah, right,

12:14

Is my house. I. Have a great love. And.

12:17

You're right, You know I'm what a deal. Where

12:19

as a Cms as I as a Cs their

12:21

it and it is. It usually isn't rated as

12:23

I don't arise you apps you don't have. To

12:25

you haven't done once. Saw you gotta do

12:28

is dude out his since you've been do it. Right

12:30

is the best of your first line of a

12:33

little about that how I started to read another

12:35

our them but you get you, you have never

12:37

done well as long as you been doing government.

12:39

which means you gotta shit load of material. My.

12:42

Wrong. With

12:44

that since your average zebra to foot the

12:46

ib that says like all the by olds

12:49

hit the attack it's a second it doesn't

12:51

work Here we go I'll got her right

12:53

I said the best the other than half

12:55

the are the best with of us are

12:57

the best a you about your best of

12:59

a yellow dress up as you know see

13:02

to go back to the low unload on

13:04

anyways we're introducing no yes yes. We

13:07

will record noted images out of a robot

13:09

cuts us off guard. Airplanes I

13:11

think it's say it'll for you.

13:14

Feel. That way corner, you know, do. Radio

13:16

more up doing a new job night that

13:19

Bray Improv I set up to shows in

13:21

Austin to do do new know I'm up

13:23

for some Muslims doing Who's actually to do

13:25

is Press has has Netflix approach to it.

13:30

Dot. A lot of I know the

13:32

asked since. Nobody's. As well

13:35

as a day haven't I haven't called my

13:37

easy got have asked? For

13:39

they already know that you don't do see so

13:41

the only you bring that to you know my

13:43

know I tell them not to I just don't bring

13:45

me up negative or positive net or as is just

13:47

bring me up like guaranteed. Pyramids.

13:50

So anyway, I'm I'm going to do one.

13:52

Recall: you play as black as ago, know.

13:54

What? he did like the i'm your age of

13:57

call you a regular questions as i suppose

13:59

separately That's the answer to you. I

14:01

don't talk to them ever about anything. Jesus.

14:04

So funny. I was on the phone

14:06

earlier today, checking

14:09

my team. I need more shit! I

14:12

know I've done that before where I go, hey,

14:14

I got nothing. And for the last

14:16

couple of years I got nothing and they're like, oh well

14:18

let's come in and do a, you know what I mean?

14:20

Check in with us. So they bring all

14:23

the agents and they have their notebooks and their pads.

14:26

Young guys I've never even seen before, oh this is our new

14:28

guy. You'll be grabbed from me. Well Bobby,

14:31

that's who you want actually. That's so interesting

14:33

because like when I'm at my career, I

14:35

could do kind of what I want. And

14:37

so for me, I like

14:39

the younger energy at the agency because

14:42

they like looking at everything. Because sometimes, especially we

14:45

was on the strike for like nine months. So

14:47

like I kind of want to just do

14:49

guest spots and stuff to kind of get back into being

14:51

on set and acting again. But the big

14:54

guys only want to look for all the

14:56

huge things. I'm like, no, give me

14:58

some of these guest spots at the shows I like

15:00

watching on television. Little roll. I can't even

15:02

get the little guy to get me anything. I

15:05

can't get the big man, anybody, the fucking

15:07

mail room. I swear to God. I

15:10

go into the meetings and then a year later you

15:12

look back, I got nothing. And then

15:14

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to provide even more value. Okay

16:06

Bobby. Yeah. Let's let's suppose we

16:09

let's let's choose the NFL right. Yeah. And

16:11

you can pick up to like all the

16:13

players. You have Patrick Mahomes. Oh yeah. I love Patrick.

16:15

And you can say. I like Brock Brody though. Okay

16:18

do you think Brock is going to score less or more

16:20

than 248.5? No. Brock Brody

16:24

is not. But Patrick Mahomes. Look at him. Let's

16:27

go baby. He's the guy dude. Okay. And

16:29

so basically you just put that in. You just pick

16:31

and choose less or more. It's that easy. That

16:33

easy? Yeah. Like for instance if you were

16:36

to do like NBA and you're like oh Steph

16:38

Curry is gonna score more than 29 points. Enba.

16:42

What was she saying? Enba. Okay. Or

16:44

is Anthony Davis gonna um or

16:48

is Anthony Davis going to have more

16:50

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picks. Pick more. Pick less. It's that easy.

17:03

That easy. I'm

17:07

gonna give out the secret. Give me the secret. The

17:10

good they're really good agents. They have a

17:12

book of everything. Like it's a

17:14

book of movies. Stuff that's gonna

17:16

like it's I remember I had my

17:18

book of movies meeting. Yeah. And in that

17:20

book. Yeah. Was Bird Box. Oh

17:22

yeah. Was Uncle Drew. Uh-huh. Was it was

17:24

like six other things I did. It was

17:27

in one book. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

17:29

Book of movies. Yeah. I

17:31

hope I don't get whooped uh shot for snuggly. No I

17:33

can't get shot. No no. Because it's a book of movies.

17:35

Yeah whooped. It's a book of damn movies. I don't know

17:37

about the book. It's a book. It's a book of movies.

17:40

I don't know. It's a whole he pulled it out and

17:42

it was like. Does it say on the cover book of

17:44

movies or. No it didn't say shit. Oh.

17:46

He just opened it. It was a book of movies. Okay.

17:49

I'm not even lying about this. I know I know.

17:51

I believe you. Yeah yeah. It's like I

17:53

just started pointing it. I said a book of commercials. And

17:57

I couldn't get any of that either. I

18:00

think this is a deal. I think what it is is I'm

18:03

just I don't get me wrong.

18:05

I feel like I'm just

18:07

old You know me and

18:09

there's young Asian kids that are like what they want and

18:11

it's like I'm fit on the list every time So I

18:13

just kind of go I like to know that I know

18:15

now that you're available. So now Don't

18:18

feel weird if it's a random call for you to be

18:20

in one of my next thing. Oh,

18:22

yeah, I'm serious I'm being real I would

18:24

do I thought you was like working way too

18:26

much Well, I mean I'm on sex in the city

18:29

and reservation I've done I mean do shit but it's

18:31

like and I just got offered two independent

18:33

movies, but it's like Listing

18:36

off like 20 One was Russell Crowe and

18:38

the other one was us anyway. It's sex in the

18:40

city So yeah, yeah, no, I mean, but here's here's

18:43

the thing the things I get is like

18:45

oh, you're right. I'm working Anyway

18:50

this guy he wasn't get out you stand

18:52

up but the TV shows movies little row,

18:55

how are you? You

18:57

know, the way your last is how are

18:59

the agents say howdy That's

19:02

it. I'm how are we how are

19:05

how are we how are we? Yeah

19:08

That's not a good joke Stupid

19:11

that joke was stupid stupid stupid, but I'm gonna

19:13

keep it in I'm gonna edit it out You

19:15

know me and what was it

19:17

like working with Jordan Jordan Peele was? Amazing.

19:20

He's he's he's a comic.

19:22

So like yeah, I like

19:25

a couple last week because I'm on like a

19:29

Social media break I gave myself a break so I haven't

19:31

been on social media for the last three four days Was

19:35

there anything that happened or do you just take

19:37

periodic, right? You know, it just felt like it's too

19:39

much going on and I feel like every time I

19:41

grab my phone Before

19:43

I look at anything I text from my kids

19:45

anything. I'm looking at Instagram and

19:47

didn't make any sense. And so the

19:49

last few days have been pretty chill. Oh I

19:52

found apps on my phone that I didn't know I had a

19:57

Random game I've

20:03

been doing that, but once again, I

20:05

posted a get out clip before I

20:07

went on my break. Jordan had me

20:10

do all these alt bits

20:12

at the end of the movie. And

20:14

most people realize it wasn't written. He had just walked up

20:16

to me and give me a scenario and then I'll just

20:18

go with it. And

20:21

he would be just cracking up, walking

20:23

to the car like, okay, your auntie's single.

20:25

I'm like, what? All right. And

20:27

then whatever that means. And so that was

20:30

so much fun with Jordan doing that. Because

20:33

I only know him as an actor and as

20:36

a friend. He's never directed me

20:38

in anything. What does he like to do as a

20:40

director? Is his notes clear? His

20:43

notes are clear and you

20:45

could tell he's been on the other side

20:47

of this. And so he treats, he literally

20:49

figured out everybody's process and worked

20:51

with all of us differently. It wasn't like this, some

20:53

directors were like, this is the one way and I

20:55

want all you guys to work this way. He

20:58

literally figured out all our processes and just like

21:00

show love to them. And so like with me,

21:02

our process was, well, you

21:04

can do, you know, do what's written, then we'll do a

21:07

real take. And because you let

21:09

me have that, I'll do whatever you want. Yeah. Because

21:11

you let me know that I could do something if I figured I want to do something

21:13

of my own. It was cool. Yeah.

21:16

I knew him when he had no car. He

21:19

would walk to my TV. Sometimes

21:21

he would not be wearing only one shoe. He

21:25

had no furniture. He had like, he used to collect

21:27

those, you know, like you go to Hot Topic, you

21:29

see like a porcelain white, you know,

21:32

me scary, like doll. You know what I mean? He'd

21:34

have a couple of those on a shelf. Right.

21:37

He would just smoke weed all day. And

21:39

we would talk about video games. Like he

21:41

got me in the Morrowind. Remember, it was

21:43

before. Yeah. And we were at a

21:45

game stop once. He's like, I'm telling you right now, man. You know

21:47

what I mean? There's no way in

21:49

your head you would think, oh, this guy

21:52

is going to be the next

21:54

Spielberg. Nerdy.

21:56

There's no way. There was just not even, you know what I

21:59

mean? And then it's like, when you... When I went to

22:01

the Note premiere, and he went up and

22:03

he did that little speech, and

22:05

I was sitting next to Kalala and

22:07

also Ike Bernholz, and I cheered

22:09

up. I was like, oh, God, look

22:11

at him. Incredible. It's

22:14

incredible. It's so funny. When he first told me

22:16

about Get Out was at a party. And

22:19

I just looked at him like, he was like, yeah, I wrote a

22:21

horror film. I'm like, oh, that's

22:23

nice. You know what I mean? Like, sure you did.

22:26

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But

22:28

it's so interesting, because I look at it from that

22:31

perspective, too, because I met Jordan at Montreal years

22:33

ago. We was

22:35

drunk in one of those parties and just

22:37

talking shit with two guys with glasses and

22:40

fucking dumbass baseball hat. I'm like, motherfucker. It

22:42

could have been a sketch, because we just

22:44

kept telling you

22:46

just what's going to happen. But

22:48

that's where you got the movie.

22:51

You didn't get the movie when he got the movie.

22:53

You got the movie years before at that

22:55

bar in Montreal. And

22:57

he was just telling me what he was into. He

22:59

was a fucking horror fan. Yeah, yeah. And

23:02

then when you go back and look at some of the sketches, you're like,

23:04

yo, some of those sketches were really dark. Oh,

23:07

that sketch where it's like, Keegan

23:09

plays an in-sow comic. And

23:12

Jordan is like, you know what I mean? I had

23:14

a sketch. Oh, yes, right. And

23:16

he got, make money, you know what I mean? If

23:18

you really think about that fucking stuff, right?

23:21

That sketch, it's dark. It's messed up.

23:23

It's fucked up. Even with a sketch,

23:25

Keegan's like an aerobics guy. Yeah, yeah.

23:28

Well, Jordan's an aerobics guy. They're

23:30

showing what the families did. Oh,

23:32

yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

23:34

Oh, yeah. Keep thinking.

23:36

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because

23:38

what's great about those two is they live

23:41

in two different worlds, many worlds. They

23:47

know so much about so many things. Like

23:50

Keegan Was a religious

23:52

guy, a pastor. He would go to

23:54

Renaissance Fairs. But he also can go

23:57

to hip-hop concerts. They Just lived in

23:59

different worlds. The they are so bright the I

24:01

have so much information that it's is like when they

24:03

got together for the they got they got to get

24:05

I was at all that is going to be. This

24:08

is like bigger than whim for simon use.

24:11

did you see that lie you saw that

24:13

they have like when. We. You

24:15

know Mad T V was. Do you see them

24:17

to like? So does when others. Have

24:21

ever since then. it's a

24:23

Keurig, so. As

24:26

it is also I would say this as of the

24:28

he's gonna call guys gonna call I want to get

24:30

back on the or yell at me to say get

24:33

up. Every spears minute.

24:36

A surprise. Really repaired it's know I would I

24:39

would rather for others. It's a brick and through

24:41

though. So at the

24:43

time of the hired see him and

24:45

Jordan at the same time. To.

24:47

Replace areas. Know.

24:49

When wouldn't really? Yeah. And

24:52

her, yeah, yeah, And. So.

24:56

So. They really are use one of them. Rights.

24:59

But Aires a so soft and

25:02

negative. A sudden illegal use. That

25:04

mister like warm. Know yeah, he's going to

25:06

come here and fucking hell is warm now. He's.

25:08

Going now I'll I'll be to the a others.the whole

25:10

dormant. Noses your perception of him. Now now

25:12

he says. As

25:14

know a guy on Doc of America that

25:16

it almost always of fab a fan it

25:18

was always eat or use be a nice

25:20

if you're. Anyway,

25:23

so I did. You

25:25

decide to Keegan Ann

25:28

Arbor? Jordan? Bed.

25:30

Together. So I remember one day we

25:32

a table read this actually happened. Where.

25:35

The table read. And. Ah,

25:38

I'm. To. Get into her and

25:40

tell the network. To. Remove the tables because

25:42

we you know use Google Would you do

25:44

table You read a script right? Legal.

25:46

We're not going to read or we're going to do it. And

25:50

like we're all like of these to have a

25:52

do something so they we pull the tables back

25:54

in south. And. They did

25:56

this. They did the full sketch. I forgot what

25:58

it was, but I remember. And.

26:01

I remember look but every I would will look at them.

26:04

And. Also that would. Erase. And

26:07

I would look at of and i was a

26:09

the areas are you smiling way because of like

26:11

v it does. A

26:14

good lather hi. Abby,

26:17

They were so good. At

26:19

it. Every time that they would write a sketch and did,

26:21

they would perform it. And. I try

26:23

to job once in a bombay away our freedom

26:26

for mightily for such a move my table superior

26:28

video editing devising was a sense i i would

26:30

tape it. Means. I

26:32

would I would do it like I would

26:34

record a sketch oh my little can cause

26:36

I boss and I would play like the

26:38

just like like you know that skeleton version

26:40

of what might be so I tried different

26:42

things but anyway on the isle of that

26:44

experience against you interviewing me but I'm a

26:46

big mad tv me and so late. Yeah.

26:49

He was doing stuff that was so like.

26:52

Extremely classics like. He

26:54

said three like I would he would. It

26:57

was. it was kind create. It felt like.

26:59

It was weird because it felt like duty didn't

27:02

We didn't care if the was like. A. Feeling

27:04

we're as nail even is only because it was

27:07

his own. Fucking. Being like.

27:09

That. That it was was it is with

27:11

a hilarious out of the of it's as

27:13

if you look at a magazine. It was

27:16

a pretty the matches it was a parody

27:18

magazine right right? So it's like it was

27:20

more impression a heavy yeah I'm in for

27:22

supposedly are mad tv but I think once

27:24

I got on there are like ah. Because.

27:27

He said, you know that. I

27:30

literally can't you interpret did you do to present. I

27:33

to do people up. Don't be lucky if I see

27:35

yellow. the guy to do and. I'll.

27:37

Know make that like down from you Don't? Yet

27:44

have. A sit down

27:47

like their arrest is fucking amazing. Over just.

27:51

has a right yeah if you did that okay

27:53

i want to your face of thing i would

27:55

you a present as if you could go ahead

27:58

of Oh,

28:00

Richie Nixon. Yeah, I got it too.

28:04

Yeah, you're the same. Yeah. Pretty

28:06

good, right? Pretty good. You got it, right? You

28:09

never looked so Asian. Asian,

28:11

Richie Nixon. Japanese girl or

28:14

Nixon. Yeah. Coachella.

28:19

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was that.

28:22

Oh, anyway, I don't know how to

28:24

do that. That's why it took

28:26

us a couple seconds. No, not him. I

28:29

know it was Richie Nixon. Yeah, yeah. Because it's. So

28:31

what if he didn't say president? It

28:34

wasn't. It's literally

28:36

like because everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So

28:38

and the person who read magazines all

28:40

the time. Yeah, like mostly every impersonation

28:42

of Richard Nixon was that it was.

28:45

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK, let's

28:47

see if I can do an impression of. I

28:50

would do an impression of an actor with that. Just

28:53

a facial expression. Wait for the. Got

28:57

it. No, no, no, wait, wait. Michael

29:00

J. No, no, no, I was thinking. I'm

29:03

not. You're shaking. Oh, forget the shake.

29:05

Forget the shake. I'm nervous. Did

29:08

you forget? Take a shake. I'm

29:10

nervous. Wait,

29:14

I don't know it is anymore. Canaries. I

29:18

would like to do the cat. You are.

29:20

Keep crying. Keep crying. Oh,

29:23

oh, wait, I got it. Well, Christopher Walken.

29:25

No, no, no, you don't. You're talking to

29:27

me. Oh, De

29:32

Niro. Yes. She

29:34

knows it's the point. It's always like

29:36

small things. You're

29:39

acting every time. Hand acting. You're

29:42

a great person. Yeah. Yeah. So

29:44

anyway, do you do one facial? You do one

29:47

facial if I can guess that you're talking to

29:49

me. Yeah. Yeah. That was good. That was that

29:51

was that was good. Fucking

29:55

incredible. We do sometimes. That

29:58

was literally good. The world

30:00

gets it. Have a you you have to do

30:02

that Say yeah that's over. There's a lot easier

30:04

with because you know you know did a sketch

30:06

series friends of the people would remain in Lucas

30:08

brother or my those as great as though like

30:10

a lot of this the we did care to

30:12

stuff like that they would just throw it at

30:15

me and our just figure it out or you

30:17

for your nom I can do that Pretty light

30:19

out unless otherwise noted on the spot but I

30:21

like to say if I can get it likely

30:23

to get the look and not. is that the

30:25

seventies easier for for me to jump into? Yeah

30:27

did arm blows just how do live table reads.

30:30

Here we are you to do like

30:32

attacks and be dated. Rest in peace

30:34

Kevin Barnett when I was one among

30:36

your friends but I'm sorry I still

30:38

love sit noise gets his even say

30:40

will find a even if they will

30:42

funny our be so meal I just

30:44

fucking tears see that yea I hear

30:46

be silk you know everybody else would

30:48

like you ever had sex Yeah Air

30:50

Arbor it was it a to the

30:52

show was cancelled almost two years. I

30:54

will do that when there's a. A

30:57

black ovaries get his. Ah,

31:00

Fuck. You have a i would

31:02

have a job as he got a sort

31:04

of lose the worst thing of have added

31:07

as boot lights and was afraid of my

31:09

boys see if we got absolutely hated her

31:11

was barely it is comedy central we did

31:13

it would shoot used to tv yet while

31:15

we had the we we were the first

31:18

com essential gave us the pilot do. And.

31:20

We do wonder where's pilots. Junk.

31:23

Ever this audible watching that pilot closer

31:25

my laptop let will back to stay

31:27

with us has a thought oh really

31:29

I love it was so I literally

31:31

be like this a like went to

31:33

a comedy club like an hour later

31:35

they were the ah is this a

31:37

habit and I know. It. Always is

31:39

the but you know what? we're not the best

31:41

judges are now we knew we did a bad

31:43

pilot that was bad of say we we get

31:45

the next and another chance to do have to

31:47

T V though. At. The first thing we

31:50

just as over think we like try to do

31:52

something way to have invented services or regolith. Get

31:54

serious about a towel we get to the next

31:56

time do an ama because and all and wide

31:58

Look here. We. Not. doing all creative shit.

32:01

Just do fucking sketches. We're just doing sketches. Oh,

32:03

they were trying to believe, they were trying to

32:05

speak outside the box and connect them in a

32:07

weird way and all that. Oh my God. Yeah,

32:10

yeah. Just go meat and potatoes. Yes. Sketches.

32:13

Yes. Do you ever watch a performance

32:15

with yourself and go, that was like the worst thing I've ever

32:17

seen? Well, it's because some of the

32:20

edits wasn't the best stuff.

32:23

And so you have somebody who kept something because

32:25

they wrote it and it pisses me

32:27

off. And I did something way better than what

32:29

they wrote. Can you ever say like, Hey,

32:31

let's use that take. Well,

32:33

you can if you, this is why it's very

32:35

important is to start acting for producer credits and

32:38

not the EP credit. The EP credit is something

32:40

they just give you. Producer

32:42

means, Oh, I can get those dailies. I can look

32:44

at like, and so I can have a say so

32:46

in that you just got to put some really specific

32:48

things in your contract. But as a

32:51

regular actor actor, nothing. You

32:53

can't even look playback sometimes. I know, but that's what I'm

32:55

saying. You got to, you can change all that. You can

32:57

ask for that stuff. I know. Really? When

32:59

you're a young actor, you've never done anything. You can't fucking

33:01

say that. I'm telling you

33:03

after, after you do some hit shit, right? After

33:06

hit shit. Yeah. You're a star. My first thing

33:08

was get out. My first, Yeah.

33:10

You hit it in the beginning. Okay. So after that,

33:12

I was telling people what the fuck I was. You

33:14

didn't struggle. Well, hello. I didn't know. I didn't even

33:17

understand that. I mean, you struggle. I don't get mad.

33:19

Okay. I'm sorry. Listen, I'm

33:21

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, I'll say,

33:23

I'm sorry. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby is true to

33:25

that. It's true to that. I didn't, the

33:27

struggle stopped by the time I got friends

33:30

with the people. Okay. So

33:32

I wasn't struggling anymore. Yeah. Like I

33:34

was still like, I

33:36

was in New York having a good time because true TV at

33:38

the time, that was a

33:40

first sketch, like scripted series. So they paid

33:43

my rent in New York. Oh,

33:46

that's great. So I lived in New York rent

33:48

free. Oh, don't brag. No,

33:50

I am brag. Fuck that. I was able

33:52

to save my money. Yeah. I had a

33:54

fucking price tag. Don't you love

33:56

that? Well, you get a job that's small. People thought I was

33:59

fucking wealthy in New York. Wow

34:01

look at that look at that look

34:03

at the Lucas brothers we hated that photo

34:05

shoot Oh really they kept having stupid ass suggestion. We

34:07

have sketch show, but they wanted to eat pizza together

34:12

What show runners are they we on are they

34:14

on it all of us is on it Lucas

34:16

brothers everybody everybody's on the show I love them.

34:18

We wrote every sketch together. Wow. That's

34:20

amazing And who's the guy to

34:22

the left? Oh Which

34:26

one far left here, that's

34:28

Kevin Kevin Barnett never know he

34:31

passed away. Oh really? Oh

34:35

my god That part

34:37

out fuck man leave it on there. No. I just won't

34:39

do the I'll be angry We

34:44

just jump Bobby Lee industry Let's

34:48

turn on take this up take this up Oh my god

34:52

Anyway, I love him you out of there

34:54

some Kevin would love that shit This

34:57

is one of the only comics that love bombing

34:59

and people saying fucked up shit about him Oh,

35:01

so we will read bad articles written by him

35:03

Yeah, even like some of the sketches like he

35:05

played Tyler Perry in the sketch and it was

35:07

so terrible Yeah

35:13

We put him through fuck. Yeah Wow

35:16

one day he took that shit out of it. We did we used to

35:18

do like these little You

35:21

know that was when it's not the sketchy do shit in

35:23

between or whatever. Yeah, and we got in one of those

35:25

balls You know those those those you run into somebody. Oh,

35:27

yeah And man when

35:29

I say he took his fucking anger cuz I used

35:31

to bully him dude. He's like six four I'm like

35:33

this. I'm gonna do it. I'm

35:35

like five seven. I was a fucking bully to

35:38

him Okay, when I say we did

35:40

the bubble ball thing and he knocked me like cuz

35:42

we was doing it in the office like some fucking

35:44

idiot Yeah, and he knocked me through all those fucking

35:46

deaths He

35:50

was So

35:53

this dude would never put his checks in a bank all his

35:55

checks being his book bag, which is weird as shit I

35:57

used to shit like that. Yeah, but you know why? The

36:00

deck of he came from might he's act like

36:02

he didn't have shit. Though many

36:04

dat and we went to his family's

36:06

house is this fucking huge house? Is.

36:08

Rich Jamaicans, About

36:11

our our rules I play willing to

36:13

that of fuck you grew up or

36:15

wow he's what a dirty his shoes

36:17

the same outfit he act like he

36:19

has the effect yeah us are you

36:21

came out of his blazer yeah it

36:23

either with cool his foot. He

36:26

were able to sit make any sister where he

36:28

was her now for can do for his family

36:30

loves them like can I be yeah I just

36:32

that you know we've lost a lot of people

36:35

We lost a lot comics yeah I be was.

36:37

Like I. Let it hang out with

36:39

them that much. But when David Arnold you don't

36:41

even own a home and dude, alert to that

36:44

dude. Over. The years. Has.

36:46

Tried to help me so many times. You know

36:48

me like even in like sobriety stuff that would

36:50

I would relapse. who would say things at my

36:53

home he but mates but we we lost him

36:55

out of nowhere as us a lot of these

36:57

things also happen as out of the blue via

36:59

and as a collie it's so hard to like.

37:02

Process. Of because I'm a human being, but

37:04

also dislike. You. Know it's a

37:06

sykes. I just don't know how to deal with it

37:08

too. I freak out. I love was. Only then

37:10

Jack. Jack. Jack nigeria. Simply,

37:12

it freaked me out. Brody. Know

37:15

where we lose people like.medicis it's so

37:17

fucking hard what a tough part about

37:20

somebody sees to we we've lost people

37:22

now only to dislike nice free guess

37:24

but light suicide be like insulate had

37:26

no a one point I want to

37:29

lie I do a more recently nana

37:31

think. More. Or less

37:33

maybe after Jack, Dad, the Oliver start

37:35

second on each other more. Ah

37:38

call people would ask them how. To are. You.

37:41

Know me just to a has yard.

37:44

Yeah. Every because We wheat.

37:46

And I never makes is just a dip in.

37:48

I mean and you don't know who's really suffering

37:50

as as. You. Do a check and now has

37:52

your heart! Gabi. when you know that means

37:55

that might like my physical heart what does it feel

37:57

like yeah with about like i'm ever going to her

37:59

heart attack or Or am I like, or just the

38:01

abstract meaning of heart? The abstract meaning of heart. Okay,

38:04

ask me again. How's your heart? My

38:06

heart is heavy. My

38:08

heart is heavy right now. And I'll

38:10

tell you why. I

38:13

did Rogan last week. And

38:15

then, and just, you know,

38:18

when you, when people, sometimes when people see you

38:20

elevate, that's when the nasty shit comes out on

38:22

like comments and stuff. So it's like, I've accidentally

38:24

read a couple of like comments and stuff that

38:26

have kind of really hurt me. But

38:29

my heart's heavy, but it's getting better. Is

38:32

that what you want to hear? Or is that, do the

38:34

game right now? But that's being honest. Yeah,

38:37

I'm being honest. I think that's why we

38:39

ask that question, right? How's your heart? Yeah.

38:41

Like, you know, like even hearing

38:43

that, I can understand what that feels like. Yeah.

38:46

And you know, I think you should all, even in

38:48

those situations, because believe me, like doing all these different

38:50

things, I hear the, it's stuff I

38:52

loved that I did and a critic and just

38:54

say some crazy shit. Oh wow. You're

38:56

like, yo, what the fuck is wrong with you? And

38:59

so like, I've started realizing that it's just a

39:01

lot of unhappy fucking people. Is

39:03

that what it is? A hundred percent. A

39:06

hundred percent. So people, when people say

39:08

nasty things online and comment

39:10

or direct message somebody and it's negative,

39:12

it's because they're going through things.

39:15

It's a mirror. It's a

39:17

mirror. They have unmet needs. They

39:19

have unmet needs. Yep. Wow.

39:22

Like this, like, they think it's gonna feel better

39:24

if I shit on you because I'm

39:26

scared of shit on myself. Wow. Yeah,

39:29

yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, for real. I

39:31

think like when I criticize myself, it helps,

39:33

it actually helps me. I don't have, like

39:36

I'm okay with any, like nobody can say

39:38

anything that really bothers me. That's

39:41

interesting. I really, no

39:43

one has ever said anything that, I

39:46

haven't read anything or seen a video where I'm

39:48

like, I'm bothered by what that guy says. What

39:50

is that though? Why are we like that? And

39:52

some people are super sensitive. I think, I

39:56

think for the good comedians, this is why I'm a

39:58

fan of you actually, but I think for the. people

40:00

who don't just write jokes. And

40:03

you able just to be honest about like, look, this is

40:06

what the fuck happened yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know,

40:08

if you're able to do that, it's just a, it's like,

40:10

even like this group text, you know, with

40:12

the friends of the people, my group text, the Golden Lords,

40:14

it's like Che and Quinta and all, just

40:16

so many different, like we're all in this group text.

40:19

And we say some of the meanest shit. Like

40:22

if somebody, if somebody broken our phone, we evolve,

40:25

we kicked out of Hollywood. I know, I know.

40:29

But it's beautiful because it's just thick skin. Even

40:31

if it's just us shitting on each other. Yeah,

40:33

yeah, yeah. Yeah, but when

40:35

we, let me, this is an interesting question. So what

40:37

I'm saying is, did we condition

40:39

ourselves to have thick skin or were

40:42

we just kind of born that way? I don't know.

40:45

And that's why I think being a comic

40:47

is a fraternity. It's such a dark group

40:49

of people. I know everybody

40:51

thinks, us in hilarity, oh my God, you

40:53

make me happy, you're so funny. You're not

40:55

doing that, you're not thinking. You can do

40:57

whatever you want. You

40:59

can poo on the table. But no, I'm

41:01

just saying, like we just have dark, most

41:03

of our humor, I know what we do

41:05

that people see, but I know my humor's

41:07

way darker. Way darker. And also I've heard

41:10

like so many fucked up things, but nothing,

41:12

it doesn't bother me. And

41:14

it's like, but you realize though, in this

41:16

new age of the internet, people are super

41:18

sensitive. Yeah, oh, sensitive. And it's

41:20

like, it's just interesting, man. But you

41:22

know what, what I've learned. Well, it's sensitive because people

41:25

are fucking mean too. You can roast

41:27

people and it still can be in a sweet way.

41:29

I think at one time we just got so mean.

41:32

Like, well you didn't even hear the jokes and stuff. Oh, right, right,

41:34

right, right, right. You know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like somebody

41:36

giving out a hate speech. Like, what a joke. Where's

41:38

the joke? Where's the joke? We're missing a

41:40

bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

41:43

think that's what I love about Chappelle's Last Special that just came

41:45

out. It was so silly. It's the silliest thing I've seen him

41:48

do in a long time. I haven't seen that. He

41:50

just went silly. Like he didn't, I

41:52

think the other ones felt speechy to

41:54

me. Heavy. This

41:57

shit was just stupid. Yeah. be

42:00

a fit to buy this. But when

42:02

he does go heavy sometimes it just it

42:04

teaches you because in your mind as a

42:06

comic it's gotta be fat laughs but what

42:09

he taught me sometimes is like you watching oh you

42:11

can be real and you can really have you can

42:13

say things that can like really just

42:17

silence the room but in a like heavy way

42:19

yeah but can you but here we

42:21

go okay we gotta remember that we're

42:23

stand-up comedians you can do that yeah

42:25

but where do you like what made

42:28

Carlin work he

42:30

found a bit he'll

42:32

find a bit right in it yeah you gotta find

42:34

a bit yeah yeah you can't just say this shit

42:36

to be like well that's it yeah

42:38

yeah like find a bit that's what make

42:40

us unique more than any other like entertainers

42:43

I believe this as comics yeah we can

42:45

find a humor in that yeah like she

42:48

felt it a bit about how he was

42:50

a story about how you know he was

42:52

friends with this woman and she killed herself

42:54

you know I mean but when he said

42:56

it and she killed herself it

42:59

was like so uncomfortable even watching

43:01

it you know man but it was real it was heavy

43:03

there was emotion to it but I don't know if it's

43:05

in the realm of comedy but you know I'm not gonna

43:07

judge he's one of the goats here men so you know yeah

43:09

but I mean like I think that's

43:11

one of the weird conversations we not having about

43:13

comedy as far as like where

43:16

you know I

43:18

just I like to find an honesty and I

43:20

could always tell when somebody feels good about something

43:22

right I was watching when I was watching Chris

43:24

Rock special what's

43:26

it called something rage whatever the last one and

43:29

when he got to the it I've been

43:31

recalling a couple comics that I

43:34

know I'm like a he ain't over he's

43:36

not over the slap oh no and I knew

43:38

he wasn't cuz he didn't open with it yeah because

43:40

if you're over something you're gonna get that out the

43:42

way and get into your new material you got you

43:45

didn't put the just the elephant in the room let's

43:47

get it out the way when he

43:49

closed on it and then at some point it

43:51

sounded like an angry rent from like one of

43:53

your uncle's yeah and then the bitch like damn

44:00

Like you're not over it yet. And I remember

44:02

watching it like damn, cause I

44:04

wish he was cause he would've, he would've,

44:07

it would've started with that. Yeah. But

44:11

is he forced to address it? Like

44:14

if that shit happened to you and you were doing a special

44:17

and you didn't talk about it, people

44:19

would be bummed. I would've recorded a

44:21

special three days after that.

44:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The

44:26

feelings are still fresh. Yeah, fresh. I

44:29

would've like quietly said, well look, it's real

44:31

shit before we get into some gang banging

44:33

shit. Yeah. Cause I'm calling all my Chicago

44:35

homies and it's gonna be it. You gotta

44:37

call your Philly motherfuckers for going down. If

44:39

that happened to you, what would that, you're

44:42

gonna pay for this special. Oh yeah. Wow.

44:44

I'm about to shoot this bitch. Yeah.

44:47

When you, when you, I know, for

44:49

a little while, when you saw that, like,

44:51

you know, happen, how did you feel at

44:53

the moment? Look, my last

44:55

special, I talked about it. I was

44:58

very honest. Yeah. Okay, and when,

45:02

when I first saw it, it was like, I

45:04

knew it wasn't like a skit. Oh no. I

45:07

was like, this is crazy. Yeah. But also, I

45:12

knew he, I knew we'll kind of, not say

45:14

he picked the right one, but like he

45:17

knew Chris Rock was a gonna fighter. You're

45:20

right. I, I, I, cause

45:22

I, Let's throw some, if Denzel said

45:25

it, what'd he do it? If

45:27

Denzel said, well, if Denzel made that joke. Yeah. With

45:30

Will Smith? Yeah. Nope. No,

45:33

there's no way. Yeah. Yeah. Then

45:35

we'll throw some names out there. Chris Rock, see,

45:37

Chris, Chris, Chris ain't never been to equalize. Everything

45:40

you did, like, I love that's what I'm saying.

45:43

Yeah, yeah. You didn't do it all

45:45

the time. You was

45:47

a little penny doll. Yeah. That was

45:49

a pair of bangs, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

45:53

Yeah, it had to be Chris. Like Michael Clark

45:55

Duncan. I can name comedians in with

45:57

the biz. All right. I don't even know if he

45:59

would've hit Jerry. And then the sign fell. Oh, there's no

46:01

way. There's no way. I don't even

46:03

know. Like, I just think, because even after

46:05

it happened, you know, the thing about, like,

46:07

when I do it in my bit, when I did the bit

46:09

in my special, I was like, you know, there's

46:12

no way that show would have went on. Right.

46:15

There is no way. Oh, that, oh yeah. That

46:17

Oscar. Oscar, just credit, credit to the crowd. I don't know.

46:20

I don't know. I don't know. I

46:22

don't know. I don't know. I don't

46:24

know. I don't know. I literally be

46:26

like, yo, quest love, one for this

46:28

doctor. Fuck everybody here. Fuck you. They

46:31

would have had to, like, go to the, yeah,

46:33

that's true. Commercial break

46:35

right away. Wow. Yeah. Fuck

46:37

this show. Yeah. It

46:40

would have been crazy. Wow. You would

46:42

have been like, this is hell. I'm a carry. This guy

46:44

ain't gonna do shit. Yeah. Wow. You

46:47

ain't gonna shit tonight, motherfucker. Yeah. Being

46:49

a sister, I would have just went crazy. Crazy. That would

46:51

have been online with, like, the, yeah. I would have had

46:53

the video footage of it. Because

46:56

it was weird that, like, Will Smith to

46:58

get kicked out. That's the craziest thing in

47:00

the world in me, that security. Then

47:04

anything else that would happen like that, a big

47:06

black guy or somebody with a suit on. Yeah. What

47:09

about, hey, man, you got to get the fuck out of here. All

47:11

right. But you saw, also, I saw a moment after

47:14

that where, what's the dude in the

47:16

maestro, the guy that starts born? Bradley Cooper. Bradley

47:18

Cooper was, like, talking to Will, like, trying to

47:20

calm him down. They all were. They're all trying

47:22

to, yeah, they're all trying to talk him down.

47:25

Chris Rock is like, yeah,

47:27

no one's around. Nobody's talking to him. Nobody's

47:30

around there. No one's around there. Nobody's there,

47:32

hey, man. I think Wanda might have. It's

47:34

okay, but, like, everybody else is like, damn.

47:37

Can you guys excuse me?

47:39

I have to go to the bathroom real quick. Yeah,

47:41

of course. Can you give me a minute? Yeah. You

47:44

for real? Yeah. Okay. Don't

47:47

you give me one minute. Can we count? Do we have

47:49

a couple? Yeah, just give me one minute. I'll count

47:51

her if it's less than. If you couldn't hold it

47:53

for the rest of this interview, you got some other shit

47:55

to do. Well, he's over 50 now. I

47:58

told him he needs a cool amount of help. He's 52

48:00

52. Yeah, he's not 52. He's 52. He's due for a

48:02

colonoscopy, but he is Really

48:08

resisting. Hmm. That's not P. Yeah,

48:10

that's not P. Damn Okay,

48:13

the kid When

48:16

he might get kidney stones, where

48:18

did you guys first bump into each other? You

48:22

remember it might have been Montreal man I

48:26

made up before that. I'm not even sure it's

48:28

so I'm always trying to remember where I first

48:31

met comics that I'm friends with now Like

48:33

what I like I'll say about me and Gerard Carmichael.

48:36

Oh, we met I'm

48:38

always at the laugh after you had that weird this

48:40

one Gerard used to wear like the same hoodie

48:43

zipper hoodie and He never

48:45

had a haircut. It's just like a kid. I needed

48:47

a home Mustache

48:50

is weird and putting everywhere Any

48:54

cable he walked up to visit a man. He's so funny.

48:57

I'm a big fan Okay, who's

48:59

fucking you? I'm Gerard Carmichael. I'm like, why

49:01

you gonna give me your last name? Just

49:05

hit Gerard But

49:07

he was cool and but he just looks so he looked like

49:09

a baby so now seeing Gerard

49:11

like wearing a fur coat with no shirt

49:13

on and the first time

49:15

I'm At

49:18

Gerard was at the Sacramento

49:20

knows that the punchline

49:22

in San Francisco and

49:26

He was fine. It's fine. I'm so

49:28

sorry That was

49:30

30 seconds That

49:32

was over well over a minute, but

49:34

how long ago maybe like a two minutes. I'm

49:37

so sorry Yeah, I know cuz the last time

49:41

I had I had garlic you'd go I'd

49:43

garlic and cream cheese and I'm lactose intolerant

49:46

So why did you do that? I was so hungry.

49:49

That was odd. It was available. Yeah last night

49:51

Yeah, what's you in the morning garlic and cream?

49:54

Oh No,

49:58

that's just garlic I'm tired of your

50:00

house. No. It was a

50:03

big old garlic. And then it hit

50:05

me just not what I was talking to you.

50:07

And I was like, I don't know what to do. And then

50:09

I had to do a. Hey, dude.

50:12

I'm sorry. I'm

50:14

so sorry. Oh, god. This is good. I'm good,

50:16

playboy. Are

50:19

you married? You're about to be married.

50:21

Is she here? Wait, you got engaged

50:23

at the Beyonce concert, right? A

50:25

little bit on it. Yes, it was a crazy. It's such

50:28

a thing that happened

50:30

to a stand up comic, that whole

50:32

thing. Because I attempted to

50:34

play in something. And as

50:36

soon as I went to it was like Miss Tina,

50:38

which is Beyonce's mom. I asked her

50:40

which song she proposed to. She told me which song.

50:43

Wait, wait, wait. Let me just start. You

50:45

went to the Beyonce's concert. You

50:47

know Beyonce? Yeah. Huge.

50:53

Yeah. Yeah. It's

50:55

unbelievable. I know nobody. Oh,

50:59

but. So you talked

51:01

to Beyonce's mom. She told me which song I should

51:03

propose to. Holy

51:05

shit. And then by that time she was like, well,

51:07

Jay pitched to have the camera come over there and

51:09

all this other shit. I'm like, OK, now it's getting

51:11

crazy. I just wanted to know the song. I

51:15

had, so it was a big, huge guy

51:17

behind me who was just losing his shit.

51:19

He kept spilling his drink on me, the

51:22

whole fucking concert. That's

51:24

bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He

51:28

spilled his drink over me. And I went to

51:30

the bathroom. And as soon, because I was like, I might have some

51:32

peace, because I've been holding it for like two hours. I've

51:36

been there and literally the song pops on. And I'm 44, so

51:38

I can't just stop the pee. So

51:44

I was like, hurry up, please. Get out of here.

51:48

We're almost at the end of the song. That's all I

51:50

was saying. And I'm running

51:52

back to the sea, trying to find a sea. Beyonce

51:56

does the way it goes, Acapello. And

51:58

it was going way too long, because I couldn't find a seat. And

52:01

people were thinking like, baby, it's you?

52:04

Like, why we still sitting? Yeah,

52:07

yeah, yeah. And I finally found a

52:09

seat and saw the cameraman was fucking

52:11

sweating. It was so crazy. I was

52:13

so nervous. You were, and then, did

52:16

you know she was gonna say yes? So at

52:18

first I did, I felt like when I bought

52:20

the ring, I was like, oh, this is a

52:22

yes. And then my son, who's 14, this asshole

52:25

was like, yo, dad, what if she says no?

52:28

I said, what the fuck, man? So now it was in my

52:30

head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so.

52:32

But did she say yes at the time? Right

52:35

there. When I went, so I went

52:37

down on Wednesday, she was like, what the hell you

52:39

doing? Like, like, she wasn't talking, she was just asking,

52:41

are you okay? Yeah, yeah. And I was like, no,

52:43

baby, I'm trying to propose. She said, what? I'm trying

52:45

to propose to you. She was, I thought, well, you

52:47

marry me in and out of the ring, she just

52:49

started crying. Oh. You

52:52

know, that was a special, that was special.

52:54

That was a special day. That's so sweet,

52:56

I have a goosebumps. How do you know though?

53:00

You know. I'll teach me. Well,

53:02

I knew maybe a fourth

53:04

date maybe. Wow.

53:10

That's because I've been divorced before, first of all. I

53:12

feel like I got a better handle on what all

53:14

this shit is. Yeah. And

53:16

it was just, it

53:18

was just the way she saw me. Like, I

53:21

had a really vulnerable moment one time shooting

53:23

a movie and some drama happened. And,

53:28

you know, I had to like a crazy conversation with

53:30

the producers about everything. And I kind of snapped and

53:32

I, you know, I was like, yeah, I told they

53:34

ass. Yeah, yeah. And then I got off the phone

53:36

like, oh God, I'm done. Right, you know what I

53:38

mean? Yeah, yeah. And,

53:41

and I started tearing up and she didn't look

53:43

at me as being weak or anything. She

53:46

bought me some crab legs, a little crab legs.

53:48

Yeah, yeah. And just sat there with you. She

53:51

saw you as vulnerable. Yeah, it didn't make me

53:53

feel like I was less than anything. Oh

53:56

my. That's it. Yeah.

53:59

And so I was like, okay, I'll fucks with that. Yeah, you see

54:01

me vulnerable You cried at

54:03

me just two days ago. That's right. You came over the

54:05

house and you yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's right You

54:08

sold I saw on my couch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

54:10

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you know we used to see each

54:12

other? Yeah, 10 years She's

54:15

my girlfriend 10 years. Yeah, I used to

54:17

live in this house. She's living this house. Yeah.

54:19

Yeah good We

54:23

broke up

54:26

two years ago two years ago. It's been a lot. Yeah,

54:28

we still do this. Yeah missy I

54:30

know we know we do we see each other all the time.

54:32

Why did you break up? Oh Give

54:42

me one thing maybe not the whole

54:44

thing The way he

54:46

describes it is what's this I'm

54:48

our but that's your vagina. Yeah, I'm our

54:50

baby and he was tired of

54:52

our bees Yeah

54:57

It's good our bees the jalapeno

54:59

poppers You know me with

55:02

that with the sauce that comes with that and also

55:04

like I love the horseradish sauce and the Arby sauce

55:07

But after like 10,000 times eating

55:09

in a row, I was like, maybe I'll get some Taco

55:11

Bell You know,

55:13

that's interesting. Okay, I wanted because

55:15

I Look

55:19

at that shit differently actually, okay, I want you to

55:21

treat well, that's not about teaching you

55:30

It's so funny cuz like I

55:32

knew I was another reason why I knew I was done

55:35

because I didn't want anybody else like

55:38

physically any of that shit I

55:40

did I own the fact that I am 44 years old and

55:44

It's stamina. I don't have any more for real. So I

55:46

don't need a bunch of things going on Hey,

55:49

I love you. You getting all my energy and

55:51

that's what the fuck it is I do

55:53

not understand some of my friends who move like

55:55

how they fucking move and they're

55:57

older. Yeah Yeah, like what the what

55:59

what? But how? How

56:02

are you this busy with life shit that

56:05

you still able to spread your dick out

56:07

like that? It's like that, you're just spreading

56:09

the dick around. I don't know,

56:11

I don't get it. Oh,

56:15

you could spread your dick. I'd spend a nice

56:17

dick to spread. I don't want to though, it's

56:19

raining. People don't

56:21

realize when you fucking, this is

56:23

some mature shit, it's like you know you're

56:25

taking in on other energies. Yeah. Yeah.

56:29

So like once you realize it, why would you want

56:31

to keep doing it? It distracts you

56:33

from all the other shit you're trying to do. What's

56:36

so funny man? You fuck. What's

56:38

so laughing like that? I completely agree. I agree with the

56:40

two, I agree too. 100% with

56:42

all of it, you know. Don't laugh the way you

56:45

did, maniacally like that. Okay,

56:47

so I have a friend, I want to name

56:49

his name, but he's a

56:51

super famous comedian, he's single. And

56:54

I was at his house once. And

56:56

I'll see you later, he goes bye. And I left and

56:59

I looked through the window of his house. And

57:02

he's a big house, you know. And he was just sitting

57:04

there in the middle of this gigantic couch alone. Because

57:07

he's a player. And he

57:09

was just watching TV, just watching the TV like this

57:11

by himself. And there's

57:13

no one around, no children, nothing. And

57:16

I was like, that's my

57:18

future. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

57:22

That's me, you know what I mean? Look

57:24

at, you're about to cry. There's a sadness to it. We

57:27

talked about it. Yeah, yeah. But,

57:30

you're right. I mean, it's just more the obvious.

57:32

Because the thing about it is, I took all

57:34

the life lessons I learned from my former marriage.

57:37

And once I like started going to therapy and

57:39

dealing with all my bullshit. Because that's one thing

57:41

I had to realize first. Because a lot of

57:43

times we'll blame every, you know, they didn't do

57:45

this and blah, blah, blah, blah. But

57:48

it's like, no, let me own my shit. Which is like, one of

57:50

the things I love about Dave My Fiance, one

57:52

of our first conversations was just our bullshit. Like

57:56

I stopped liking when people give me their

57:58

best shit. Like, yeah, I'm this. What's

58:00

the worst thing about you? Right.

58:04

But like, let's pick it up. No, I

58:06

don't want to know. Whatever

58:09

you did in the bathroom. Yeah.

58:13

But no, it's just that like, it's

58:15

the, and it's so funny because I

58:17

got home grilling. Issa Rae is

58:19

one of my good friends. I love her today.

58:21

I love her. But

58:24

she used to always like, real you for the streets. And

58:27

at one point I used to get mad about it. I'm like,

58:29

damn, maybe she right. I was like, maybe I

58:31

am for the streets. And it wasn't that I was

58:33

just being a hoe. And

58:36

I had to explain this. I'm like, what am I supposed to

58:38

do as a single man that love

58:40

women? I'm going to shoot

58:42

my shot. I am from Chicago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

58:44

That's what the fuck we do. We holler. I

58:46

would go to brunches and it'd be a table full

58:48

of women and I would speak to all of them.

58:52

Figure out who kind of gives me the best energy. And that's

58:54

who I'm talking to. Right. But

58:57

I wouldn't fuck them. Okay. And then

58:59

while I did it, this is some real advice. If

59:01

you don't, don't spread your dick out.

59:05

You can kind of shoot your shot. Now look, some friend,

59:07

I've ruined some friendships. I ain't gonna lie to you. Well,

59:09

I was like, what? You talked to my

59:11

girl? I'm like, well, we ain't fuck. We

59:13

had a weird day. It wasn't good. Yeah.

59:16

You don't own me. Right. But

59:19

your friend is dope too. And I remember I

59:21

worked one time when I explained it to like three of them

59:23

at the same time. You talked to all of us. I said,

59:25

let me say this. Oh, y'all are amazing. Yeah.

59:28

Y'all are amazing, beautiful, strong, successful black women. What

59:30

you want me to do? Yeah.

59:34

And they heard that shit and then like the next day, like, man, fuck you, real. You

59:36

had us listen to that bullshit the night in the woods. I

59:39

guess it's girl, Cole. You ain't supposed to talk. But

59:42

I'm saying if you ain't do

59:44

nothing physically, you don't own me. Yeah,

59:46

that's right. And most men think

59:48

like that. I got homeboys that's dated, you

59:50

know, girls I've dated. But

59:53

I don't own her. Maybe y'all work out better. I

59:55

don't know. But here's what I'm

59:57

doing, Rell. If

1:00:00

I may. Uni streets? No. In my

1:00:02

20s, Asians weren't in.

1:00:07

In the 90s, dude, we weren't in. We

1:00:09

were out. Like, we were like,

1:00:12

we... Get me? Like,

1:00:14

black dudes loved Asian women, white dudes loved

1:00:16

Asian women. So you guys took our women,

1:00:19

but you guys never gave us your women

1:00:21

back. We were all alone

1:00:23

in the 90s, dude. All shaking. We were

1:00:25

shaking. You know what I mean? We

1:00:27

were pushed. We were... Depleted a pussy.

1:00:29

I think that... I think that... That's not

1:00:32

work. No, you guys depleted us from pussy.

1:00:34

When did Jet Li do the movie with

1:00:36

Aaliyah? In early 2000s, I think. That

1:00:39

changed the game. I know! But

1:00:41

I'm talking about the 90s. We were

1:00:43

in the dark ages. But that's also Jet Li. That's

1:00:46

Jet Li too, asshole. Yeah. But,

1:00:48

but, but, but, but, but, but Jet Li... Yeah, yeah,

1:00:51

yeah. Watching Jet Li hit it off with Aaliyah. Yeah,

1:00:53

yeah. I think Romeo. It was like Romeo and Mon-

1:00:55

Romeo and Mon- But they didn't kiss in the movie.

1:00:57

That's the one. They didn't. That was such a bummer.

1:00:59

I can't believe it. They hugged at the end. They hugged at the end. That was

1:01:01

fucked up. That was disappointing. Even the producers did this. They did Jet Li 30's show.

1:01:04

And that's what I saw him. He's the first you

1:01:06

don't believe. Yeah. Yeah,

1:01:09

yeah. I'm saying it. So, so, so,

1:01:11

so... Even when I got

1:01:13

on Mad TV, it was still the dark

1:01:16

ages. Mm. Right? So I would get some,

1:01:18

right? But now... In

1:01:21

my 50s, oh boy, boy, boy.

1:01:24

You know what I mean? We've come to like, you

1:01:26

know, Steven Yoon. All these, my

1:01:28

homies. Ronnie Chet, you know what I

1:01:30

mean? They're up. And so I'm, now,

1:01:32

when we broke up, I was like, oh,

1:01:34

this is a new frontier for me. No,

1:01:36

it's like, on Insecure, it was an Asian

1:01:38

bae on there. Yeah. It

1:01:40

was Yvonne's, her character. And everybody's look

1:01:43

at that guy. Yeah, with the long

1:01:45

hair. Yeah. He's, he's... Right. First

1:01:48

of all, Strong Black Lee did

1:01:50

something with Netflix. And I won't read the comments. I

1:01:52

refuse to do that. Well, sometimes they'll put like

1:01:55

all of us there, like, was like male characters on

1:01:57

Insecure. And they'd be like, pick one and get

1:01:59

rid of somebody. And then the comments be so fucking

1:02:01

mean they put me on there I don't want to hear these

1:02:03

people get it because all these other dudes are pretty guys. Yeah

1:02:11

I've been out with those guys. All right, right played

1:02:14

who played Daniel in the first

1:02:16

couple seasons He's

1:02:19

the other guy Oh, you know, uh, you're lying Yeah,

1:02:23

he's chocolate. Oh, oh Yes

1:02:26

him who's chocolate ladies love that dude,

1:02:28

you know I know

1:02:30

how good-looking my friends is and

1:02:32

so like when I was in my single day. Mmm

1:02:35

I would call him like man, were you it? Yeah,

1:02:38

it's paper for the girls. Yeah now Wow My

1:02:43

god, I've seen that guy do that guy's fucking delicious

1:02:48

Talked I love young and

1:02:50

look at his heart. Oh my god. I'll fucking do it, too

1:02:54

Fuck your heart, bud. I'm not gay. I'm just

1:02:56

like But

1:03:00

let me show you something you never fucked with white girls now

1:03:04

why dry No,

1:03:10

I'm a dry I've been Crazy

1:03:12

dark reason I felt like I've

1:03:16

only had sex with one white girl in

1:03:19

my life. It was a waitress at

1:03:21

a comedy club Yeah, yeah, and that

1:03:23

was the most regular white woman of

1:03:25

all. It's like full-blown white I

1:03:28

mean when like to get a white girl.

1:03:30

No, no like regular white Christian white and

1:03:32

I was like I felt Like

1:03:35

pumpkin spice. I feel uncomfortable after that and

1:03:37

this is it's a dark reason man. Like I really

1:03:39

one of those So crap,

1:03:42

okay. I'm telling you're telling it's dark. It's

1:03:44

not funny And people like damn real but

1:03:46

like I took seriously

1:03:49

what happened to Emmett too. Yeah And

1:03:52

so that shit scared the fuck out of me. Well tell

1:03:54

me remind me of Emmett what? And

1:03:56

I know Emmett tell I know I just tell me and then I'll oh

1:04:00

So did it. Was even crazy about story now

1:04:02

because the white woman who said he did all

1:04:05

in on get all the stops. Later. on

1:04:07

her desk before she die idee

1:04:09

something via. A made it does. She

1:04:11

was fucking liar. Of

1:04:13

it's over the for popular. Know. Full

1:04:16

hike I had had it about. Really tell me

1:04:18

know because like fab the only time will emit

1:04:21

you don't permit you don't know. nothing. Fifty five

1:04:23

here. Ninety Fifty five. I'm not. You know I'm

1:04:25

a taste of your bios. It. For. Black

1:04:27

History Month, For. More don't know your

1:04:30

car. did I say some guy and we

1:04:32

both are you. I won't even about you

1:04:34

to take the phone february the area yeah

1:04:36

the twenty eighth or got to learn all

1:04:38

types a history. Of Idaho rose up

1:04:40

more know facility. You know I know, I'm

1:04:42

not. I'm Julia. Tell your fucking I know.

1:04:44

James Baldwin was in your face of father,

1:04:47

got a little black history or just say

1:04:49

I know blog is for people. admit sales

1:04:51

Emmett Till all yards he got murder. Yeah

1:04:53

murders exactly was a T I remember. I

1:04:56

wonder because as white lady said the

1:04:58

he was pseudo is so many different

1:05:00

stories of in math. And. Is all

1:05:02

Bob Sapp You're telling me that had added

1:05:04

that? Hooking up with a fucking waitress at

1:05:07

Aqaba? Globe. Is. The same as Emmett Till.

1:05:09

not as that what I'm saying. When would you

1:05:11

say I'll say i don't fucking white women because

1:05:13

it was like are all have given sort of

1:05:15

something I know there are had sorry is shocking

1:05:17

to me is scarce. Flight

1:05:20

from oblivion on his aura right? I have.

1:05:22

I have a white women are my friends.

1:05:24

I love really close friends and people work

1:05:26

with some are in a releases a bill

1:05:28

of his side for such As a result.

1:05:31

Fuck Douglas in terms of fucking. It's.

1:05:34

It's it's. of this by side with its

1:05:36

ups every every several hundred seventy five. Say

1:05:38

what I want. Us

1:05:41

to stop at so I know who

1:05:43

a as I brought me back okay,

1:05:45

one of six just based on sexual

1:05:47

attraction right to see the receptive. without

1:05:51

emmett till would you penetrate with alceste

1:05:53

well as so funny i don't know

1:05:56

i'm like i'm not seen i've seen

1:05:58

in attract a white woman But

1:06:00

like for the most part like you

1:06:02

know who's godly I can't believe

1:06:05

this is probably the most

1:06:07

attractive white woman to me Yeah,

1:06:09

to me. Okay, let me guess Let

1:06:11

me get it let me guess let me he's

1:06:13

saying that you got the wordy weaver. No, okay

1:06:15

fuck. I'll shriek. No No,

1:06:18

I know maybe one that's a little

1:06:21

yeah, you're happy Bates It

1:06:23

might be too. They're much older Judy Dansh.

1:06:25

You got you. Oh, yeah, I am Keaton.

1:06:27

Oh my god Oh, dude, I just got

1:06:29

hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:06:31

Yeah. Do any halter it is just random

1:06:33

as shit Yeah, the cutest thing in the

1:06:35

world. Yeah, essence is really yeah. Yeah with

1:06:37

a cardigan. Oh, yeah So

1:06:43

you are attracted to them. Thank you. I'm a very

1:06:45

specific You know, I

1:06:47

mean that's dank. He's really only let me

1:06:49

ask you this then why

1:06:51

don't black women love me You

1:06:54

don't know who the fuck in between is Oh

1:07:01

Fuck I should know more we got no your

1:07:04

black history I know hard not to lay and

1:07:06

I it's once again, it's no I'm talking about

1:07:08

like I have white women I like that.

1:07:11

I absolutely love to death like

1:07:13

Sandra Bullock's amazing She's a do like I like

1:07:15

but it was like we come out dating It's

1:07:18

just it sits in the back of my head and it

1:07:20

just makes me it always made me fucking nervous Wow,

1:07:22

that's interesting and your reasoning is just dry skin

1:07:24

you said These

1:07:28

No, I I could look past it

1:07:30

I would I can look past it

1:07:32

when I got when I got because if

1:07:35

you touch my skin Will

1:07:37

you touch my skin? It's really just rough.

1:07:39

Yeah, just touch. I would you describe that real

1:07:41

this stuff I

1:07:43

got your thought to do it. It was like nothing.

1:07:46

Yeah, it's almost as he never even touched me That's

1:07:48

how soft we are. We're the best with the best

1:07:50

of yourself. We're evolved But my point is is that

1:07:52

we used to touch white skin sometimes it's

1:07:54

like Clint Eastwood like sandpaper

1:07:59

No matter how pretty it's like You can hear it

1:08:02

Yeah, and so that and then

1:08:04

also gonna say another thing is the

1:08:07

pit I'm

1:08:09

gonna let me explain myself. Why do you talk to

1:08:11

me like that? A pit armpit miss

1:08:13

Mel It's fucking

1:08:15

movie. No bueno It's

1:08:18

like sick That's a BO. Really?

1:08:21

Yeah when you don't have BL I'm

1:08:24

when maybe you like my be no you don't have

1:08:26

BL. I don't have BL no cuz we're Asian and

1:08:28

we like each other And sense

1:08:31

maybe and pheromone. That's not true.

1:08:33

Okay, so I was there last night with Chappelle Lacey, you

1:08:35

know Chappelle He's a black guy and

1:08:37

I was wrestling with him the main room black

1:08:40

comic. See he's not just a black guy He's

1:08:42

a black comedian I'm

1:08:44

sorry. Was that that one? No, cuz

1:08:46

you pictures are random black guy your red Like

1:08:50

you supposed to know who I was with Chappelle

1:08:52

right and I was like the green room Big

1:08:55

dude, right and I and I and

1:08:58

I my face got onto his pit. Yeah, and she

1:09:00

could sniff beautiful movie,

1:09:03

but no there is interest. Yeah

1:09:11

Like let me see what this is Well,

1:09:14

you never smelt the armpit. I'm not saying I

1:09:16

never smelt one, but not like I've not purposely

1:09:20

I've looked at what is it? I've never smelt it, but I

1:09:22

do look at What type of

1:09:24

deodorant? Yeah, I want me like if I see

1:09:27

a lot of white shit under your arm So

1:09:30

when you buy a new car, you don't look underneath the car

1:09:33

Actually, no. Oh I do they

1:09:36

back if it's a new car. It's like a 2020. I still

1:09:38

look under this I don't do that for new car You

1:09:43

don't yeah, yeah That's

1:09:49

just my style I guess so you

1:09:51

like if it's a brand new Up-to-date

1:09:54

year car In

1:09:56

the box in the box. No, no mouths on

1:09:58

it. Yeah, listen, dude I don't like crawl

1:10:01

underneath it with a fucking that's what I'm asking

1:10:03

wait no you got one of those slabs No,

1:10:05

I don't know I know why this is a lie Is

1:10:08

because when you drove your car home from the

1:10:11

lot it was smoking And

1:10:13

then you have to call somebody and say why is my

1:10:15

car smoking? Yeah, it's brand new When

1:10:18

I tell stories on it No, let

1:10:20

me tell you something. I think this is the problem You

1:10:23

don't have to fucking tell the truth And

1:10:27

like keep the eye up. Yeah, it's just for

1:10:29

entertainment. I want to whisper too late Anyway,

1:10:33

so you never smell the pit You

1:10:39

know but what was this intro I have kids

1:10:42

and so How many what it

1:10:44

to have three? What are

1:10:46

the weird things you do early in that age you

1:10:48

kind of want to figure out when they start becoming

1:10:50

musty Oh And

1:10:52

so yes, I have smelly kids aren't

1:10:54

people are you ain't there yet? Oh,

1:10:57

but then when it happens, oh shit, you know what it

1:10:59

is what's it? It's like pre a puberty

1:11:01

like right around 10 11. I

1:11:03

think a little bit before it Depending on

1:11:05

big the key it is yeah, how sweaty

1:11:07

they are yeah, I love puppy breath

1:11:10

So you love puppy breath? When a

1:11:12

new puppy, maybe some other puppies breath no Like

1:11:16

iron or the copper is it

1:11:18

something yeah? Nickel nickel yeah,

1:11:21

well you know so the puppies back. I'm not a dog.

1:11:23

Oh shit here. We

1:11:25

go I like this my what's

1:11:27

up my fiance's daughters though Mico

1:11:30

just always on me man. It's so

1:11:32

fuck. I like I've never treated you

1:11:34

wrong Giving

1:11:37

you good energy Well

1:11:40

have you ever had a puppy and raised it from

1:11:42

as a puppy No, you

1:11:44

try it. I've now I've had

1:11:48

I've had cats now. I'm allergic to cats now. Yeah, I could

1:11:50

have been named But I had cats so we had to get

1:11:52

in a I'm who we took in a cat off the street

1:11:56

And my grandfather named him a mule because you

1:11:58

know they go mule meal Yeah,

1:12:00

and then you had kids

1:12:03

and then the three kittens I Don't

1:12:06

know cuz we live in the hood, but those cats

1:12:08

left us They like like one cat left like jumped

1:12:10

out the window and never came back and

1:12:13

landed on his cat feet Which I like Jesus

1:12:15

like yo, okay We

1:12:17

didn't mistreat him. I don't know. I don't

1:12:19

it was weird We had little

1:12:21

mew and fat man and blackie They

1:12:24

usually run away if they're in heat or

1:12:26

it's time for them to Yeah,

1:12:28

that was weird as a kid seeing like a horny

1:12:30

cat was very uncomfortable Right cuz they make all

1:12:33

those weird noises and they do

1:12:35

that face down ass up thing. Yeah, they rub

1:12:37

on you Yeah, it's a weird like if

1:12:39

you don't know if you never had sex

1:12:41

before Mm-hmm, and a first sexual anything is

1:12:43

watching whatever these cats are doing All

1:12:46

right fuck is going on. Yeah Go

1:12:49

back up until no. Yeah, I didn't understand

1:12:52

When I grew up in the Philippines like there

1:12:54

were a lot of stray dogs and when dogs

1:12:56

have sex and the the male ejaculates They get

1:12:58

stuck. So the dogs are stuck

1:13:00

like ass to ass for like maybe 15 minutes because

1:13:03

then the the penis enlarges apparently

1:13:06

and that he literally stuck to

1:13:08

the female and that ensures Like

1:13:11

reproduction that ensures that all like the semen stays

1:13:13

inside. So growing up you just see a lot

1:13:15

of stuck dogs like

1:13:21

The guy by accident and

1:13:23

then they're stuck together for two minutes I

1:13:25

mean if this happened to humans, I think we'd be more

1:13:27

mindful about who we fuck Mmm,

1:13:29

like if we had to sit there and be physically

1:13:31

stuck to the person for 15 20 minutes. Yeah I

1:13:35

think we'd be more right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Be

1:13:37

some different type of cheating. Look it. Okay Just

1:13:41

give me 15 minutes and I explain to you every day. Yeah

1:13:45

Well, let me say that we had a blast

1:13:47

here. Sorry. I had to poo halfway during the thing That

1:13:50

was rude. So if you hate dude, can you

1:13:52

stop it with toilet paper? There's

1:13:55

a toilet everywhere in the flat bathroom. Was it something

1:13:57

there when you went? It

1:13:59

was like a couple of strips Anyway,

1:14:01

let's move on. I know who I'm dabbin' in. Let's

1:14:04

move on. But do

1:14:06

you want to plug it in, Z? Shit, I

1:14:08

don't know. I mean, look, at the end of

1:14:10

the day, like, you know, when we was on

1:14:13

strike, I couldn't promote anything. So

1:14:16

now you're pushing people to go back to watch stuff that came

1:14:18

out. So,

1:14:20

you know, if you haven't seen the M.I.L.E. yet on Hulu, it's a sci-fi

1:14:23

thriller that I produced and starred in. I need you to check it out.

1:14:25

It's amazing. What else?

1:14:27

So many things. Yeah,

1:14:32

just watch the tour dates. Any tour dates,

1:14:34

shows? No, I took a... So I

1:14:36

was supposed to start a movie in

1:14:39

January, then they pushed it to the summer, so

1:14:42

I didn't take any gigs. I've just been

1:14:44

at the house. Good, relax. Well,

1:14:46

I'm also about to make my directorial debut, and so that's what I've

1:14:48

been spending a lot of time. TV or movie? A

1:14:51

feature. Wow. Yeah, I'm very excited

1:14:53

about that. Wow. So,

1:14:55

like, I've been, you know, we've been doing rewrites on the

1:14:57

script, and, man, we're getting into

1:14:59

it now, and it's a lot of work. So, and

1:15:02

I'm starring and directing it. Amazing, dude. Yeah,

1:15:04

yeah. Congratulations. Thanks, man.

1:15:06

You know, if you ever

1:15:08

want to come here and promote, we're here. I'm

1:15:10

coming back. I got, like, three things. I thought

1:15:12

Harron the Purple Crayon comes out this year. I

1:15:15

don't know. I think it's slated for June, but... Wait,

1:15:18

Harron, who's in that? Me,

1:15:20

Zach Levy. Zach

1:15:22

Levy. He played Shazam. Shazam. Yeah.

1:15:25

Oh, Shazam. Yeah, I know Zach Levy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

1:15:27

he's an interesting guy. Who directed it, though? Carlos. That's

1:15:30

Carlos last night. Yeah, because didn't I...

1:15:32

I got offered a movie with Purple,

1:15:35

too, but there was a female actress that was in it

1:15:37

that was Zoe. Yeah, she's in it. Yeah, I got offered

1:15:39

that. For real? Yeah. Which

1:15:42

part? I got offered a part where it was,

1:15:44

like, I was her boss or something. Mm. Yeah.

1:15:47

Oh, yeah, yeah. I know exactly. Yeah, yeah. And

1:15:49

I went to rehab, so I couldn't

1:15:51

do it. Dang, Bobby, that would have been fun. I know. Look

1:15:54

at the hung out. Yeah, I know. You're not in a

1:15:56

good state that that's... I was wild eyed, dude. So did

1:15:58

I. So did I. I hated this

1:16:00

much. Oh no, Bobby Lee. I was like so drunk.

1:16:02

I was so drugged out you wouldn't like me. Just

1:16:05

me pulling. But I was supposed to

1:16:07

do that and I remember FaceTiming him. He

1:16:09

goes, I really want you in this. And I... Yeah,

1:16:12

because that was Ravi's role. Oh Ravi. Yep.

1:16:15

Ravi. Patalia. I'm

1:16:17

sure you're better. Anyway. Anyway.

1:16:19

Get Ravi, Ravi, get Ravi. Woo! Woo!

1:16:23

Yay!