0:00

style so

0:27

threatening I reject the threat hello

0:34

highway you from Texas think

0:37

so you came here from Texas came from Texas well I came

0:39

from Vegas well you there I was there yeah

0:41

where were you I was

0:43

in Vegas I never wear

0:46

what what you're in Las Vegas the

0:49

old Vegas oh you're the old

0:51

Vegas who you with nobody it was a layover

0:55

you didn't see the game no well

0:57

where you're going from though from Dallas

0:59

Texas from Dallas you went to Las

1:01

Vegas there's no direct from Dallas to LA I

1:03

couldn't get one did

1:06

we pay for it no no

1:08

he's here to see his friends oh where's your friends

1:10

at downtown LA Oh

1:13

Mexicans yeah but they all like are they

1:15

like clowns they live in like 15 people

1:17

per 16 Oh 15 15 is wrong oh

1:19

yeah 16 I want to have even I

1:24

listen guys I'm not saying that

1:26

Mexicans live like clowns you know that's

1:28

how you used to live in silver that's what I'm saying

1:30

so I'm just saying that's what how people how many people lived

1:32

in the dumpster like seven or eight

1:34

two-bedroom apartment so I understand you know

1:38

fans huh you skate me yeah

1:42

when you're 12 what were you trying to do oh yeah I was doing with kids I

1:44

was doing

1:51

with twists back then yeah

1:54

I was doing with twists back then on

1:56

ramps and stuff anyway what are you doing oh yeah

1:59

you gotta be a little louder to Jaime. Oh is this on? Oh

2:02

we're just catching up. No it's on.

2:05

Like we're doing it. Oh it's on right

2:07

now? What did you think that we were just... I thought

2:09

we were just catching up. You were doing

2:11

a small talk with you? Oh you wanted a small talk

2:13

with you? No I wouldn't small talk with you. I do

2:15

big talks. Big talks? Yeah yeah yeah. Okay. What were you

2:18

doing in Vegas? What

2:20

do you mean? Watching the game. I was just

2:22

like a lot of... Watching the big game. Forty-niners

2:24

versus the cheap. Almost 1,000 photos are online of you

2:27

and people. I find so interesting

2:29

about Bobby. Like the

2:31

night before he was... He's

2:33

opening for birds and Tom right? No I'm not

2:35

opening. No I'm not. No wait wait wait. Oh

2:38

sorry. Guess up here. No no no. Stop stop.

2:40

Hot five. Hot five, hot ten.

2:42

Hot five. Let me say something okay.

2:45

It was... I wasn't opening. I

2:47

just happened to be before. Years

2:49

before then. Yeah I mean it's like okay I

2:51

was opening but... But

2:54

then Shane Gillis was opening. Yeah everyone

2:56

was opening. Who was there? Just give

2:58

us all the names. The people. Who

3:00

performed? Yeah perform. Who you saw. Everything.

3:02

The MC was Trevor Wallace. Love

3:04

it. My good friend you know him?

3:06

Yeah. You like white guys? Huh?

3:09

TikTok. Yeah he's on TikTok. I know. So are you

3:11

though? Me? Yeah. On

3:13

Instagram. Oh fuck my bad. My

3:17

bad dude. You

3:20

have a crooked smile huh? Yeah. I've

3:22

been told. You've been told that? My

3:25

sisters they dropped me when I

3:27

was a baby. They didn't do it. They drew

3:29

you as a baby? We were playing that cross

3:32

the bridge game. Yeah yeah. And they... No I

3:34

don't know. What's it called you know? The Red

3:36

Rover. Red Rover. And I couldn't break the bridge.

3:38

Oh. Well how do you play that game? You

3:41

went... You break the bridge. What did you do

3:43

that with your hands? You hold the other person.

3:45

Sing the song. Red Rover, Red Rover, then

3:47

High May. Over.

3:50

Yeah yeah yeah. Anyway um

3:52

yeah so Trevor Wallace. Who

3:55

did you go for? The

3:58

49ers or Chiefs? Comedy.

4:01

He's there for comedy. I wasn't

4:03

there... I left... Let

4:05

me by the way, if you ever want to go

4:07

to Las Vegas, the airport,

4:10

go during the Super Bowl. If it's playing in

4:12

the Super Bowl, it was like a ghost town.

4:14

Oh. Like there was no line at the gate.

4:17

You just walk right through. Oh, coming back from... I

4:20

flew right when the game started. Oh yeah,

4:23

your flight was right at kickoff. At kickoff.

4:25

And I walked up to... I go, is this

4:27

open? I felt like it was closed. Yeah. I

4:30

walked in, walked right through. And

4:32

then, you know, anyway, what happened?

4:35

Oh, yeah. So I performed. I opened.

4:37

It was me. Trevor Wallace,

4:40

me and then Shane Gillis

4:43

and then Bert and then Tom. And let me

4:45

say something, OK? You

4:49

were nervous. Not only nervous, I begged

4:51

on my hands and knees to

4:54

Tom. I go, Tom, sure.

4:58

Master, please,

5:00

because they had it, Trevor,

5:02

Shane and then me. Oh,

5:05

and no, fuck you, man. Shane's

5:08

the man of the world right now. He's

5:10

it's his it's his time. He's

5:13

in the media. He's hosting SNL,

5:15

right? Yeah. He's one of the best

5:17

comics. Even Andrew Santino goes, Shane

5:20

Gillis is a better comic than us. He

5:23

said that out loud. He said that. Yeah, what?

5:25

He said that to your face. It's

5:28

your lips. Anyway, I'm getting it

5:30

fixed, Bobby. OK, get it fixed. You

5:33

know how much it is? Fixing a

5:35

smile. This is the jaw line. No, it's

5:37

your your nerves. Your nerves are

5:39

on your mouth. You can

5:41

control those. No. Yes. I

5:43

have x-rays. I'll show you. You

5:45

actually broke your jaw. Oh, no, I'm

5:47

not making fun of your jaw. Your jaw is unfixable.

5:50

No, it is fixable. Anyway, I

5:52

don't want to debate. I don't know what the debate is

5:54

about. But that's the show. That was a show. OK. And

5:57

it's a good picture of you. So

6:00

anyway, I don't think that

6:03

right the birth so I beg I beg Tom

6:05

I go can you please any I'll

6:08

go you don't even have to pay me That's

6:10

how desperate I was to go what to go

6:12

before Shane. Yes. Okay, so he

6:14

said yes, and so I Okay,

6:17

what's up with that stop there? Do

6:20

you know where I am you're not there.

6:22

I am I am This

6:24

is a fun game. I am there

6:27

zoom. Oh, yeah taking a picture right there

6:29

in the corner top left Yep with

6:31

a camera up. Yeah, that's me right there. Oh It's

6:37

like falling well though I can spot little

6:39

daddy you get anywhere and then right next

6:41

to a cigar Oh, yeah, right Bert Trevor's

6:43

there and some other people anyway, um

6:48

So, I you know, I wouldn't they brought me up and

6:50

there was a cheer Of course there

6:52

was your biggest fear was what they're gonna

6:54

boo and why would they boo because

6:57

I'm not advertised So it's probably my

6:59

mind. I was like, oh, there's gotta be people there that don't like me

7:02

They didn't know what was performing and

7:04

so then when they I know it's irrational fear. I

7:06

know. Yeah. Are they here? It's

7:10

irrational, you know, they could cheer

7:12

but then oh my god, dude loved

7:14

it. No when I brought up Shane Not

7:19

just louder I

7:22

Literally thought I was I was gonna like like

7:24

my whole body was goosebumps from the head of

7:27

my top of my head down on My foot

7:29

they freak out it was Because

7:31

it's in the round Everyone's

7:33

around you so it was it was like

7:36

so good this guy, you know It's an

7:38

ethics dangerous dog and then people kind

7:40

of went what and then and then

7:42

I go You know, he got fired from

7:44

us and now before even got on the show, but now he's

7:46

hosting it. What's this at Shane Gillis?

7:49

it was like It

7:54

Was insane how'd you bring him up? That's

7:56

what I said. Oh everything he just said, but I just

7:59

said I don't know The everything he just said

8:01

before I got out of it or how is

8:03

what? know that one way or what I was

8:05

saying before as info. On how did

8:07

you see that uses issue Stand up Yes you

8:10

do Right now the chosen for Alfredo Okay would

8:12

you bring about would you say would you say

8:14

i hate next comedian for that's what I just

8:16

said Okay Elsa you had us with. The

8:20

or it's your highway on their

8:22

decision to u Z, Just concentrate.

8:25

Yes. Just know or

8:27

can you follow along. This guy loves that

8:29

you're here. Do it. But it's like. And.

8:32

I love that you have me to. Assess

8:34

why did you do a melody? Your

8:36

guess is going to have to be

8:38

here. You

8:41

know, mobile of the know, I'm

8:43

so on what else happens? And

8:46

the illusion of us. Who did you mean

8:48

like me? Who's I mean much When I

8:50

when I was only me little I've been

8:52

out of the bag or people search flooring

8:55

and I'm in the green room as a

8:57

cycle. Guy Fieri yeah you got home is

8:59

now knew a guy me I guess is.

9:02

That who else walked and

9:04

then your budget. Comics: Paulie

9:06

Destefano. Soder. Jealous.

9:09

Obvious he's on the show. Arm

9:11

and Then and Jimmy Kimmel. Weird

9:14

yeah. and then the Mexican guy that on Jimmy

9:16

Kimmel. Oh Jeremy or dare

9:18

me Grandma Pierre Mcguire movie came up

9:20

to Maine and hugged me. Never met

9:23

before my life was see a city.

9:26

That information on love know think.

9:29

We'd. What I'm most interested in though? It

9:32

is on. Oh large.

9:34

Pool Chill. Or how

9:36

dumb? Yeah, yeah. And then who else.

9:38

And a lot of fighters like Nick

9:41

Diaz. It with Nick. Nick

9:43

Diaz yet. As he sent me a picture that wasn't made that

9:45

with Nick. Says

9:48

a difference he had. There is a

9:50

disadvantage is good question whether to adolescent

9:52

get your brothers and then this gigantic

9:54

rapper. Who forgot? His name,

9:56

but every user of the top of

9:58

examines gigantic guys. I had to his over his face. Jelly

10:01

roll? Jelly roll. Oh, jelly roll. Jelly roll was there.

10:06

He smoked blood in front of my face. It was fine.

10:08

Relapsed. Yeah. Not in a relapse. But he was like, was

10:10

so, I'm jelly roll. Right

10:12

in my face. And then once

10:16

I performed afterwards, just Stefano and I just went

10:18

to the after party and walked in a circle.

10:20

And we both just looked at each other. And

10:23

we just at the same time said, should we kill ourselves? I don't know

10:25

why we do that. Wait, why would you

10:27

say that, though? What do you mean? Why are you thinking? We

10:29

don't belong. We don't belong.

10:32

Him and I have the same thing. Number

10:35

one, nobody

10:38

likes us. Weird.

10:41

Weird. Weird. I know. It's such a weird

10:43

thing. But we look at each other. Likeable people. I know. I know.

10:46

We look at each other. Are you getting this

10:48

feeling that no one likes you? He goes, me too. I

10:50

don't think no one likes you. He goes, I know. And

10:53

so then him, I go, what do you want to do?

10:55

He goes, double suicide. I go, I don't know right now.

10:58

Super of a week. Super of a weekend, right? And

11:01

as we go around, then we run into Jimmy

11:03

Kimmel. And Jimmy goes, sit with us. So

11:05

me and Chris sat next to Jack Kimmel.

11:07

We're just talking about how we asked him.

11:09

I go, do you feel like unwanted or

11:11

alone in the business? He

11:14

goes, yeah. And he told us

11:16

a couple of stories. I want to say stories. But he told

11:18

us a couple of stories. Are they here? All right, Mook, get

11:20

out of here. You're now moving there. Wait,

11:22

finish this, though. That's it. Jimmy

11:24

Kimmel. And we talked about how we want to double

11:26

suicide. Anyway, go. It

11:28

was a great night. Did I sit here? Yeah,

11:31

man. Thanks for coming. Just stay

11:33

stuff every once in a while. He does have a couple. Do you

11:35

know who these guys are? Yeah. Who?

11:37

Natasha. Yeah, and who? And

11:40

her husband. Yeah, yeah. What's his name? Hi. Hi.

11:42

Hello. Hello. Good to see you guys

11:45

right over here. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

11:48

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

11:50

Hello. Good to see you. Good to see

11:52

you. Good to see you. Hi. How are

11:54

you? Good to see you. Hi. Good

11:57

to see you. Your house is so awesome. Yeah, I live

11:59

in it. I happen to

12:01

live here. Cool vibe. Thanks, man. Hi,

12:03

Nanda. Oh, wait. This

12:06

is our first... I know, last time we were here, it was like in

12:08

a little apartment. They both have been on, but

12:10

this is our first time in this studio. Oh, in this house?

12:13

Yeah. This studio's awesome. This is what you

12:15

did to the garage? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? We're

12:17

changing it, too. Why? It

12:20

looks so good. You're changing it? Wait, do we do it

12:22

like, you know? The garage was this high? Yeah. We're

12:24

getting fucking higher, right? What the fuck you talking about? I mean,

12:26

that's a pretty high garage. Um... The

12:28

first day we moved in, he crashed

12:31

a car through the garage. Yeah, did,

12:33

yeah, yeah. It's good. Very

12:35

fun. Good stuff, you know? What, do you

12:37

guys want us to... Can we do that later, or...

12:39

Ooh! It's mousy. I guess, Bobby. Can

12:43

we do that later? Oh, you

12:45

mean like next week or something? No, no, no. We

12:48

do it now. We do it now. I

12:50

don't know what the fuck... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's

12:52

here. It's out? It's out. The

12:55

book is out. It's out. Make sure

12:57

to talk about it. No, no, no, no. Let's just... I

13:00

mean, I can open with it. You want to open with it? No,

13:02

I don't care what we do. Yeah. It's

13:04

good like that? Yeah, I

13:06

know, because you don't know a lot. I've done... This

13:08

is like the 90th conversation I'll be having

13:10

about it. The cultural culture. So we can

13:12

do... That's how it's pronounced. The cultural culture.

13:14

Anyway, um, it's pretty cool. So

13:17

we brought some treats. I mean,

13:19

not literally, but we brought some secrets

13:21

that we could play. Ooh. I

13:23

love secrets, but is it cold or hot? You guys...

13:26

She's cold. I'm keeping this

13:28

on. Put the heat on. No, no, don't put the

13:30

heat on, because that's gonna mess up your sound. No, Natasha Lajero's here.

13:32

Fuck, I'm putting the heat on. I don't want you to hold. A

13:35

little bit. Can you have a... I'll do it. We'll

13:37

do it for like half the podcast. Half it out. You're

13:39

gonna put the heat on for half the podcast? Crazy

13:42

podcast. Is that your format? I

13:45

mean, we could do it later. Let's do it

13:48

when we... When we start talking about

13:50

the book. Time it with the book. I'm trying

13:52

my own. Absolutely. Thank you. What

13:54

do you want? Do you hear yourself? Is that

13:56

too loud? Is it better? I'll

13:58

go back. He's screaming. I just

14:01

need to drown out the mental just a little bit. That's

14:04

kind of cool. Thank you. Anyway, not really the

14:07

vibe. Well,

14:10

God bless you and thanks for coming. It's been

14:12

a while and we've tried to do

14:14

this many times and there's

14:16

been cancellations and rescheduling and whatnot,

14:19

but the pleasure is all mine. I mean, you canceled some

14:21

of it just to be clear. I

14:24

was not blaming you. Okay. I

14:26

just wanted to make sure. That's insane what you were just doing

14:28

now. I was just saying like we were trying to big time

14:30

you guys and we're here. We big time each other. We've

14:33

been camped out in my Tesla for a week

14:35

waiting to do this. I've been watching the media

14:37

and the social media and you've been doing everything.

14:39

Yeah. Yeah. I've been

14:41

hard at work. You both have. Acting for

14:43

you. You know what I mean? Bobby,

14:45

how does it feel to be the

14:47

most, you've influenced probably more comedians. Shut

14:49

up. What are you talking about? What the fuck

14:51

were you open like that? Great opening. Oh,

14:54

this is what you on the way over. She said, I've got this roast

14:56

joke. I'm going to open what's up. Is this what

14:58

you're talking about? Called

15:01

deflection. No, wait. You think

15:04

Bobby has influenced the generation of comedians? Yes.

15:07

Every single person you meet, they're like, Bobby

15:09

influenced me. Every single person has a Bobby

15:11

Lee story about how they encourage them to

15:13

keep doing stand up. Yeah, but that's

15:15

not like it's like a comedy influencer. It's more of like

15:17

a, um, you're just a good guy, like a good guy

15:20

kind of thing. But you also do comedy

15:22

influences. Maybe. Anyway,

15:24

so do you. I just want to give you. So do you. That's

15:27

true. Yeah. He

15:29

influenced me. Bobby did? Yeah. To

15:31

what? Oh, man TV. I

15:33

was watching as a kid. I was like, Hey, this is

15:35

a funny guy. That's cool. Do you do sketch? I

15:37

do stand up. So not sketch. So

15:39

he didn't influence you. Yeah. Yeah.

15:42

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

15:45

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

15:48

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

15:51

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

15:54

You know, it's sketch, right? Sketch. Yeah.

15:58

Yeah. What is sketch? Sketch? Yep,

16:00

exactly. The truth is I was the

16:02

first guy to say sketch is improv.

16:04

That was my thought. That was your

16:06

quote That was my book. Yeah. Well,

16:08

I influenced a lot of kids when

16:11

I said sketches in but just aside from

16:13

him You know, they're two different

16:15

things. Yeah, your improv is

16:17

not written sketch. Thank you.

16:19

Thank you. Thank you I'm

16:22

probably using you add information

16:24

Not to be confused with the

16:27

improv where we do stand up yeah, I

16:29

can understand how the improv used to be

16:31

called the Improvisation you guys all that matters is a

16:33

two and a half minute tiktok video. Oh, that's very second

16:36

Right, it doesn't really matter anymore. How do you feel about that?

16:39

I'm sure Shorter is always better.

16:42

No, but that's that's why she's with me. They were saying

16:44

even songs like songs are

16:46

only now like two minutes Whereas

16:48

like in the 70s there be songs that

16:51

were ten minutes like that. Yes We're not

16:53

at yes a 50 minute fucking song say

16:55

what like the Super Bowl ads right? They're

16:57

shorter. They're so short Do you remember when

17:00

we were growing up? Did they have as much tailored

17:02

for our attention? Was there as much Christ

17:05

in the there wasn't an there wasn't any

17:07

cry wasn't enough cry It was a cry. It was

17:09

like a big Jesus day. There was a lot of

17:11

Christ here There was a little Jewish, but it was

17:14

all it was very Jewish. It wasn't like be Jewish

17:16

It was like please stop beating up to right and

17:18

then there was a lot of Christ and then there

17:20

was one Scientology only a million 28 million for

17:22

that one ad the Jesus It

17:25

was just like a random ad of like

17:28

photographs of feet washing Right,

17:31

and they were it was like a whole

17:33

ad for Jesus Not

17:35

even a specific church just Jesus right feet

17:37

washing. Yeah, it was like wicked wicked feet

17:39

Are you a flow? Oh, there it is. Well,

17:41

it's higher It

17:45

was like it looks beautiful from different walks of

17:48

life or opposite sides of the train tracks

17:50

Yeah, washing each other's feet or something like

17:52

that. Yeah, I gotta say I don't mind

17:54

it Did

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a registered broker dealer. Chubbies.

19:01

Yeah. Inside of every man there are

19:03

two wolves fighting. What

19:06

wolf is real introverted and socially awkward

19:08

and doesn't want much attention. The

19:11

other wolf is wearing a shirt with a skull

19:13

on it and smoking a clothes cigarette yelling at

19:15

the first wolf that he should talk to

19:18

girls more. So they're fighting

19:20

about that. But then inside of those two wolves,

19:22

there are two more wolves. Holy moly. One

19:25

wolf is going to a therapy and trying to

19:27

get his issues with the alpha sorted out. And

19:29

the other wolf is unhinged, snorting wild grasses and

19:31

avoiding his trauma. But it's coming out in weird

19:33

ways in the forest with like what he's doing

19:35

to the squirrels and stuff. And inside

19:38

those two wolves are two more wolves. Oh my God,

19:40

the wolf fest. One is real

19:42

timid, gnawing at the spot where his testicles

19:44

used to be because he's been domesticated

19:46

by an elderly couple. And the other wolf

19:48

is real wild like jumping into the pool

19:51

with an entire pork shoulder in his mouth.

19:53

And the other wolf laughs at this devil

19:55

may care get the pork wet attitude. The

20:00

world or the turbo of in the light

20:02

wolf and a yin woven the yang love

20:04

and the otherwise wolf and the kids singing

20:06

about boobies will go and a wolf whose

20:09

lives at a teaser because he self conscious

20:11

about as wolf gutsy and some other will

20:13

who was shut up about of coins physicists

20:15

anyway. I guess what we're trying to say

20:17

is it as a whole bunch of wolves inside of you

20:19

and they've all got to get dressed in the morning. That's.

20:22

Why and when his visited Savvy

20:24

Swords. Visit

20:29

our guys! You know, honestly like during

20:31

the summers Iwerks hobbies because I'm the

20:33

the fabricated if it's so light and

20:35

soft and comfortable. A I've never felt

20:37

any material like this before. Other Bodies

20:39

is a difficult kind of shape to

20:41

dress sometimes, and I feel as though

20:44

Chevy's really is just for every shaped.

20:46

Variety of every man. Yeah,

20:49

I got this sub is t shirt or this. Lovely.

20:52

It's so good. I. Love the

20:54

color. Of our oh. This.

20:56

Is the weakest have se. What?

20:59

A great courses through. Do see a

21:02

bunch of was collection by zombies. find

21:04

your inner walks and put some sort

21:06

on him at service.com. Is.

21:10

More. On

21:15

his. Years.

21:22

As. Soon.

21:28

As. You.

21:54

do more with I. Like. This I like

21:56

the. Symbolism: The

21:58

seat lacing. I

22:00

see. Yeah, it feels erotic.

22:03

It does. It is slightly erotic, but

22:05

it's very subservient It's like the most subservient. It's

22:07

you know, it doesn't it feels I think

22:09

that's why it's erotic If

22:12

you think it's a it's a power thing. Yeah, are

22:14

you a foot man? I Love

22:17

them. You're like Yeah,

22:20

I suck on them. Yeah, are you thinking in a sexual

22:22

way? Yeah, I took on I got I talked on one

22:24

two weeks ago And I got sick Put

22:27

mouth is I think that's how I got the COVID You

22:31

didn't get COVID from a foot Disease

22:34

is going around my daughter's school. Oh, really? Yeah,

22:36

those are gnarly. No, could I just defend myself? I

22:38

don't like your tone What do you mean? I'm I

22:40

don't I don't let your tone just now. What did

22:42

I do? Like a doctor? Like you can't get COVID

22:44

from foot. I don't think foot causes COVID. I think

22:46

like it's a that's just chewing I know but can

22:49

I just say something like I can cover get on

22:51

it like if they sneeze another foot?

22:53

Yeah Yeah, I guess that's possible theoretically then yes,

22:55

I guess the Okay, I'm sorry.

22:57

That was just a full of dirt. Just for the

22:59

fact. I didn't realize this was such a sensitive topic

23:01

It's not such a topic is just like I can

23:03

I throw out some information right? You'd negate it right

23:05

away. What I even think of that's like that's it.

23:07

By the way, how many that's a rule in improv

23:09

Is you go no, but that's kind of that's like

23:14

But you can't get it that way

23:16

I actually got pink eye two weeks

23:18

ago from From me though from what

23:20

a pomelo pillow That's

23:29

what it was from yeah, I woke up the next

23:31

day with fun or green stuff, okay

23:38

How do we Know

23:40

that's so gonna introduce them. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

23:42

Yeah that went out went out went well,

23:44

I've known these two for a very long time

23:48

They both individually has done our podcast. Yes

23:51

at the old place at the old place. We haven't been here for a

23:53

while Natasha I've known before

23:55

she did stand up you

23:57

talk me into doing all right at that time

24:00

I remember yeah, I remember we're in Los Feliz

24:03

once and we were with Aaron cater Whatever

24:06

I have I don't know. But anyway, um, God

24:08

bless you Aaron. I know where he is

24:10

but um, and we were I

24:12

don't know what we're doing during coffee and I used to mention that

24:14

you were gonna do it and I Don't

24:17

know if I supported you but you started you got

24:19

me a gig at this place

24:21

where I could like work the door That's right. That's right.

24:23

And then start doing stand-up and then

24:25

you'd meet me before like showcases Like

24:28

you'd be in between shows and you were like, hey

24:31

sounds like you're trying to smash. No, but he wasn't

24:33

he was I could I be honest with

24:35

you. Yeah, he thought I'm not attracted Literally,

24:39

there's nothing about her Like

24:44

even I'm sorry, I love you so much but

24:46

I'm just they're just certain people I just not

24:48

I don't even think that way Do

24:58

that out there as in like I knew the whole

25:00

time Natasha was desperate to be with me But for

25:02

me it just it wasn't happening Wait,

25:04

how did you guys know each other before pre stand-up? How

25:06

did you I don't know Bobby just knew everybody

25:08

I remember him calling me and me being in

25:11

line at the DMV to try to get like

25:13

another sticker on my car Like he was always

25:15

like he just kind of could sense who was

25:17

down and out and who maybe needed a little

25:20

like No, I think I tried to like-minded

25:22

people. Yeah, you know, I like I

25:24

met you where I met you I know where I met you

25:27

you can say I met you at a meeting.

25:29

I think what the fuck it Why

25:31

are you saying that? Well, you said I could say I know

25:33

but then I didn't say how I'd react No,

25:37

yeah, yeah, I met it in Hollywood and

25:39

somewhere over there, but um, I

25:41

knew you were a comic from SF and And

25:45

then just we just kind of slow

25:47

just became friends. Yeah, and then you

25:49

guys got married. That's right Yeah, but

25:51

Bobby you have always a quantum wisdom By

25:55

the way, you haven't introduced us yet. Well, she'll cash

25:57

in the cash. Lajero They

26:00

live in the east side. Bobby told

26:02

me once don't believe the good

26:04

reviews, because then you'll believe the

26:06

bad reviews. He said

26:08

you're not really anyone until people

26:11

start talking shit about you. Yeah.

26:14

He said make sure to make them

26:16

laugh before you start talking on stage.

26:18

Great advice. Yeah, that's a good advice. Listen,

26:20

it's so funny. I can give advice, but

26:22

I can't... You can't receive it?

26:24

No, but those things I just told you are

26:27

things I say, but I don't apply it to my

26:29

online. I'm like, oh my

26:31

god, I read that comment. I'm a fucking loser. I'll

26:33

kill myself. Can I tell you some

26:35

wisdom she gave me? Yeah, please. And

26:37

earlier in our relationship, I would spend like

26:40

12 hours arguing with just a stranger.

26:44

And I thought I would tell her, oh, it's part of my... Anyone would

26:46

have given him this. And

26:49

I was like, it's part of my comedy brand. People

26:51

like watching me go back and forth with literally

26:54

just some kid child in Iowa.

26:56

On stage or online? No, online.

26:59

I'd go back and forth the whole day and I'd be like stewing

27:01

on it. I wouldn't be present in our relationship. And I'd be like,

27:03

hold on a second. Writing this like screed

27:06

that I thought was so clever that while

27:08

I mentally bested somebody that's like fucking working

27:10

at a pick and pull in Montana.

27:13

And she was just like, why

27:15

are you wasting your life on people that you

27:17

don't know? And it like opened my mind up.

27:19

It was like a spear into my brain. I

27:21

haven't looked... I basically don't ever look

27:23

at the comments anymore. And it's all because of her. But

27:25

do you get negative ones? I don't know. Could

27:28

be. Yeah, sure. He

27:30

would more engage with people back and forth.

27:32

And I think that's something that some people

27:34

do. I've never done it. You probably don't

27:36

do it. No, they tell me not to. Do you

27:38

read them? I can't anymore. No,

27:40

it's too painful. No, I mean, I do read them.

27:43

No, like, oh, especially me. No, I

27:45

should stay away from that. I get

27:47

it's like it's a volunteer volunteering to

27:50

drink poison. It's cutting. Yeah. It's

27:52

a form of cutting. That's a really interesting idea. She actually called

27:54

one of her trolls and interviewed him. I

27:56

find that whole thing to be usually disappointing.

28:00

How was it? He

28:02

turned out that he didn't dislike me

28:04

at all. He maybe disliked the

28:06

fact that his girlfriend was really into me.

28:09

And he turned out to be a

28:11

really nice guy, a sweetheart. Weird. And

28:14

he couldn't really explain why he had said

28:17

the things he said. And mind you, he had

28:19

been harassing me for a long time. Interesting that

28:21

Troll wasn't that articulate when put on. It

28:24

would have been funny if he had been so sweet

28:27

and admitting what he did wrong. And then you're like,

28:29

well, it was really cool to connect with you as

28:31

a human. He's like, yeah, you too. Bye. And then

28:33

immediately open your phone and just like, back to business.

28:36

But I think that's probably what would

28:38

have happened. Or you know what I mean?

28:40

But he stopped, right? I would assume. I mean,

28:42

I don't know. He probably has

28:44

like five other burner accounts. I

28:46

mean, I don't think that people,

28:49

they're not who they are on the internet.

28:51

Yeah. I think some weird, altered version of

28:53

themselves, like the ugliest version of themselves can

28:55

exist there. But in real life, like when

28:57

you walk around, people aren't inherently this way.

28:59

Or at least I don't want to believe

29:01

that. I think people are becoming more and

29:03

more inherently this way. Because the internet and real life

29:05

is becoming like slowly fused. And I don't

29:07

think there's a separation as much. Does it agree?

29:09

But you know how in the, I'll go ahead.

29:11

No, please. Well, in the 70s, everyone smoked

29:14

because we didn't quite know it was bad for us.

29:16

Like maybe now we all check our comments and get

29:18

involved because we just don't know how toxic it is.

29:21

But now it's like, you know, more people hurt

29:24

themselves and go crazy and

29:27

get depressed. Maybe that's something

29:29

we'll have more boundaries for the next

29:31

generation. I do think that there is

29:33

an uptick in really, really sad, angry

29:36

boys. And that's what's really scary. Like

29:38

we're me. I get women and they go,

29:40

women talk shit to you. Not only that,

29:42

they literally go, why aren't you

29:44

dead yet? Oh, well. What? No, yeah. I get

29:46

the same. I know. Why don't you kill yourself?

29:48

Like, yeah, get them all the time. From women,

29:50

really? Oh, yeah, yeah. Kill yourself, kill yourself. And

29:52

it's like, what? And then I go out in

29:55

the world, I've never gotten anyone. And no

29:57

one's ever come up to me and said, well, kill

29:59

yourself. Yeah. I

30:01

wish they would because I'd be like then I can

30:03

have a maybe you know me up You know a

30:05

very mindful kind of like non volatile

30:07

kind of conversation Like why do you want me

30:10

dead or whatever right, but they don't want you

30:12

dead. No that it doesn't happen It's all love

30:14

and I walk around and it's all love

30:16

and it's like and I read

30:18

all these negative things And I'm like oh,

30:20

they're two different worlds. I live in and

30:23

one of them isn't real It's

30:26

not real. Oh the internet. Yes I

30:28

think that it is I actually think it is

30:30

real and I think What do

30:32

you mean? Well, I Israel is what I wanted to

30:34

talk about this. I'm Finally

30:37

got to bring it up. Yeah, I was

30:39

thinking about this the other day You remember like well

30:41

like 20 years ago and stand up There was like

30:43

a certain kind of road comic that had a particular

30:45

joke that they would do a bunch of be usually

30:48

an older Guy like a dad comic and he'd be

30:50

like I heard about this cyber bullying I got a

30:52

I got a tip to stop being cyber bullied long

30:54

off. Haha. Yeah, right Remember

30:57

watching that going. Oh, this guy doesn't understand

30:59

that there is no logoff for young people

31:01

that young people's brains are getting They've

31:04

had they've had the internet like downloaded into

31:06

their game and like for you and me

31:08

and us we're of a

31:10

certain age where we straddled the universes of When

31:13

the internet existed when it didn't so for us,

31:15

it's like it isn't real But I think for

31:17

young people the inner there is

31:19

no logoff. We are online

31:22

Socialization real world socialization. It's all

31:25

one mess. They can't they literally

31:27

know how to log off and go do

31:29

something I mean they can that might become

31:31

more of a trend. I would love to see

31:33

like nature children But what I'm saying, how long

31:35

are you gonna keep? technology away

31:37

from your Child. Oh Well,

31:40

she's got a really popular tick tock Maybe

31:44

really no no I'm

31:46

pretty serious only about it. We have

31:49

boundary. We have boundary I'm

31:51

pretty serious about keeping her away from things

31:53

and I think that I would make some

31:55

pretty big sacrifices To try to

31:57

make that happen, and I do feel like I have

32:00

very, very few friends who agree with me. People

32:02

are just like, we're just gonna give in,

32:04

let's surrender, this is life, it's gonna be

32:06

part of who they are anyway. Whereas

32:09

I get that side of it, but I just

32:11

disagree. In motion I get in fights a lot

32:13

because of how perilous I find

32:16

the phone. And he's like, that's

32:18

not reality. Does she have a phone now? No,

32:20

how old is she now? She's six. Right,

32:22

so what's the age? When

32:24

did you get the phone? What age would you want to give her the phone? I

32:26

don't know what's gonna happen in the

32:28

world. She might decide in two years

32:30

that this is worse than smoking for

32:32

children. And maybe it'll get banned, I

32:34

don't know. The internet? Possibly,

32:38

I don't know. I don't think they're gonna

32:40

ban them. It'll get worse. It's

32:42

gonna get so much worse. Do you remember

32:44

that there was a documentary on Netflix, it

32:46

was like, I can't remember what it's called,

32:48

the social dilemma, maybe that was what it's

32:50

called, where it was like describing these algorithmic

32:53

sort of like polarization that's happening in society. And it's

32:55

like, it's gonna lead to this, this and this. And

32:57

everybody watched it and was like, whoa, this is perilous,

32:59

this is scary. Or some people were like, I already

33:01

knew this, whatever. But then it's now seven

33:04

years later since the documentary came out, the exact

33:06

thing that it was predicting is happening in real

33:08

time, and no one has made a behavioral

33:11

adjustment whatsoever. We're all- Basically

33:13

people in the street getting mad. Yeah. No,

33:16

but I'll disagree with you. I've made a, yeah,

33:19

I've made some judgments about myself and changed my

33:21

behavior. Me too, I got off Instagram. Yeah, so

33:23

individually you can. Totally. And

33:25

I know people that have, and we realized that

33:28

it's like, and I don't even know if I'm

33:30

behind if it's our generation, you know what I

33:32

mean? And is it Gen Z-ers that are like

33:34

completely, I think that at one point, I

33:37

don't think there's a way to be happy and

33:39

still live that way. I think there's gonna be a

33:41

bottom. I think there's gonna be a point where they're

33:43

gonna be like, why am I so depressed? Why do

33:45

I wanna kill myself and all that stuff? They're

33:48

gonna look through their phones for the answers. But they're

33:50

gonna think that things, I remember I was so

33:52

depressed during the pandemic and people were like, oh

33:54

my God, your pictures, You're

33:56

having such a great time. It's making me feel so insecure.

33:59

And I'm like, oh, I'm. Like so depressed that

34:01

I find other as look like I'm not

34:03

so it is that kind of vicious circle.

34:05

You're looking at the people that are jealous of you going

34:07

over my seem so cool. They're. Jealous of me. but I'm

34:09

not a real picture. I air. Bright processor speed limit

34:11

I know a fire a buffet. know we've

34:14

got a guy in Boyle Heights. we take

34:16

our about us. I heard. Saying last is

34:18

all fake it. But I'll say the. Evidence

34:20

is in that the internet

34:22

specifically for young women. Is

34:25

is but for everybody is terrible, causes

34:27

depressing, cause, a suicidal ideation, it's all

34:29

in we already know the information. The

34:31

same thing is true with like trying

34:33

to be famous. The. We already know the be

34:35

trying to be famous is bad for the human psyche and yet it's

34:37

the only thing any. but why do we do with them? Because.

34:39

I'd who were like drug addicts. I mean,

34:42

that's what I think of when I think of

34:44

like what you're saying about technology and parenting. Is.

34:46

Like you have to imagine your. Parenting.

34:49

Is so. Difficult.

34:52

And time consuming. And that that the kid requires

34:54

so much of your attention and there is an

34:56

inch. It's like being a heroin addict. It's like

34:58

there is an instant solutions which is to put

35:01

the phone in their face and you're no longer.

35:03

Everything's good now in Lhasa A and so did

35:05

you Have to go. You have to be a

35:07

heroin addict to them the all you want us

35:09

to fix. And the heroin is literally

35:12

in your pocket and you have to make

35:14

a decision. I instead of doing heroin,

35:16

I'm going to do sit ups like that status

35:18

of the on their. A lot of. Furthermore,

35:20

your parents who are like seventy five

35:22

eighty are also addicted and have the

35:24

exact same addiction is the I would

35:26

see. My mom is far more addicted

35:28

to her sound. that's I am. So

35:30

they're bad. Everyone's just helping you stare

35:32

the nannies. Everyone's yeah, daring and a

35:34

phone while they're watching a kid of.

35:36

The worst part with old people is

35:38

that they are unfamiliar with the idea

35:40

that just because it's in plant doesn't

35:43

mean it's a real race. Oh that's

35:45

right. I must have written this article.

35:47

I wrote an article article. Does it

35:49

amazes? think? it's real? Well. With anything

35:51

my mom says these days like we

35:53

just joke around the house I you

35:55

know, source Facebook, That's her at Everything

35:57

as Gospel is. it's written in friends

35:59

and stuff. Well, it might be the truth

36:01

and that's really scary. I don't know how

36:03

cell technology work spoken to. Let me ask you

36:05

some idea. Slg with a satellite up there, right?

36:07

Oh, Yeah, right. Echoed bounces

36:10

back and. Of still. Look at me like

36:12

that lateral and when I do I know how to. Why Is

36:14

it? Is that what it is sounds familiar with you? Know

36:17

what's the A. What I'm saying is if

36:19

we destroy that satellite, all the satellites, how

36:21

many other others didn't rise and have one

36:24

and fucking to model model. And let's not

36:26

forget cancer as up in all ages

36:28

and no one knows why. What's that?

36:30

So I'm saying no. Great is that

36:32

the I Met out. Maybe it'll sell

36:34

six. Wearing What? Our guys suggesting that

36:36

we impose a digital bronze age on

36:38

our. Saw

36:41

it so can I think everybody. Would like

36:43

it. It's just. That it does if we

36:45

destroy the satellites. What's the sicknesses system

36:47

or her right? More than one? Way.

36:49

more than six a hundred ago. Is

36:51

that better for you? As soon as

36:53

an hour's and now I can understand.

36:56

Or a success. If there's a way

36:58

to do it right, right? What would

37:00

happen lightly Day one? after the destruction?

37:02

What would happen? Chaos. Well.

37:04

We would still have yes the internet.

37:06

I. Think nettles Exxon I did. We won't. Who. Notice.

37:10

In our our of road hello have avoid

37:12

I'm a guy or source. Yo yos him

37:14

plenty of the apes. Not

37:18

sure that watch a reminder for our

37:20

Will Rogers? What do you mean. I

37:23

sizes result would you fuck it means meat

37:25

Which planted the age that are Yeah what

37:27

was wrong in Huston? Why do you see

37:29

Merlin as coming out as editor Wants to

37:31

me know I. Saw the Superbowl ad for it.

37:34

Which one are you talking about on James Franco?

37:36

The yeah, the yes I saw those was us.

37:39

What you mean. I'll

37:41

go get us over somebody. What?

37:44

Seems to be made in your life that

37:46

your thing individually said, you made changes that

37:48

the internet. What changes have you made? Sure,

37:51

To arm Number One Arm.

37:54

I'm. No longer on twitter. Via. Was

37:56

hacked as expecting tobacco. Can get back

37:58

on the man or south. That's a

38:01

beautiful gift from the universe though. It

38:03

was such a gift. Yeah, I didn't realize it But I haven't

38:05

been on a year and a half two years. I don't know

38:07

how to get on it I haven't looked at it. So that's

38:09

one number two is because

38:13

You know whenever I go to a therapy on

38:15

Thursdays That's Thursday at my therapist. Mm-hmm and all

38:17

my pain and all I talk about our comments

38:19

and direct messages, right? Right and she was just

38:21

basically like we can't do this anymore. So I

38:24

haven't been doing it You haven't been going to

38:26

therapy or you haven't been looking I Know

38:29

I know I we can't do this.

38:31

I need to stop seeing you Bobby.

38:33

Yeah, and so Saturday I was in

38:35

Vegas and after the show I Was

38:39

sitting there with Christopher Stefano at a

38:42

bar and I was looking at

38:44

as for some reason I just

38:46

got back just looking at comments Because

38:48

I just performed no one's you know, I mean right

38:50

and then I got one I got you know I mean

38:52

I fucking hate you from a girl Right

38:55

and the it just got my mood down. So

38:57

everyone smile I Read

38:59

it. I'll get completely depressed and

39:01

I'll go you know what dude. Come on

39:03

dude that you you asked for that So

39:05

don't do it or take your own advice that

39:07

until people start talking shit to you. You really haven't made

39:09

it yet I think that is I

39:12

honestly because I did when I did Rogan

39:14

like three weeks ago the uptick

39:16

of Negative

39:19

went up a thousand percent. Oh, well week

39:21

when I do Rogan I just I this

39:23

is he expects that I just don't look

39:25

for I wait three weeks and

39:27

and then Yeah,

39:29

I don't notice what happened. Yeah, some people if

39:31

people like me they'll they'll DM. I still look

39:34

at my D I shouldn't say that but And

39:37

but like I just won't look but what

39:39

do I need it for? It's like it's

39:41

going to a poison well and taking like

39:43

a sip of water. I already knew

39:45

was rotten I already knew what was waiting for me there.

39:48

Oh, wow, and why why am I doing this to myself?

39:50

So the first time you did Rogan you made it probably

39:52

made a mistake. Oh, yeah, I was like, oh this is

39:54

exciting Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, I am Jewish. Oh But

40:00

yeah, there are certain universes that

40:02

I kind of know, like when I

40:04

do it, I'm not necessarily trying to

40:06

win over the people that I know

40:09

think I'm a beta-cut bitch. I'm trying to get

40:12

the people that would be interested in my book

40:14

or in my upcoming show or whatever. And I

40:16

just will ignore it for a while. But

40:19

you don't, you do. I do what?

40:21

Yeah, you ignore it. He's an impulsive person. It's

40:23

hard to make them. I mean, I'm like you,

40:26

I'm gonna addict like you are. Right. You

40:33

know, usually I don't really talking about, I don't

40:35

like to talk about other comedy podcasts, but I

40:37

love scumbags of history. Mother

40:39

Teresa, Dr. Sue Scondi, is

40:41

it possible these enlightened historical

40:43

figures were total scumbags? That's

40:46

what comedians and confirmed scumbags, Brittany Schmidt

40:48

and Miteen Stewart tried to decide in

40:50

scumbags of history, where they picked through

40:52

the dirty underwear pile of lesser known

40:54

facts about some of the most famous

40:56

people in society has put on a

40:58

pedestal. And I know both these guys.

41:00

So Brittany Schmidt and Miteen opened for

41:02

me in San Jose Improv. They're legit

41:04

comics. I love them so much. Scumbags

41:07

of history is a thoroughly disreputable history lesson

41:09

on the people you thought you knew from

41:11

history and some of the scumbaggy

41:13

things they did that you've never heard about.

41:15

You can watch video clips of the show

41:17

on TikTok. You gotta check this

41:20

out. New episodes are dropping every Monday

41:22

morning. Look for scumbags of history anywhere

41:24

you listen to podcasts. I

41:27

need to convince

41:29

you to get back. Oh,

41:33

you really want me to go back. I want you to come back.

41:35

He wants you to come back once a week. Why do you want

41:37

me to come back? Why

41:39

don't you want to come back? They're talking

41:41

about AA. Okay, this is good. Answer a question

41:43

with a question. No, I'll answer to you. No,

41:46

I- I'll answer, I'll answer. I can answer too.

41:49

Bless you. Bless you, okay. Because

41:53

I think that when I'm just speaking for my

41:55

own self. Yeah. Okay.

41:59

By the way, can I say this? you answer? I think it's

42:02

it touches me that you want

42:04

me to I don't ever think I'm never feeling

42:06

insulted by it I feel like really a warm

42:08

feeling when you tell me you want me to

42:10

come because I feel a warm feeling

42:12

when you tell me you want me to come because I'm always

42:14

just about to bust. Yeah because I realize it's not about me.

42:17

Yeah. It's not about my I have so many

42:19

problems with the program. Yeah. Maybe he thinks that

42:21

you need it. I know he needs it

42:24

I think what need who needs it or

42:26

the people that he could save. Oh

42:29

you want it so by you getting out of

42:31

AA you are now not saving anyone. Well

42:33

I mean to be available you're

42:35

not available to be a tool

42:38

for God. To be

42:40

honest with you that is there

42:42

are two things that I really miss

42:45

about being actively in the program. I'll

42:48

tell you to number two afterwards but but

42:50

the biggest one is what you're talking about. I

42:52

feel like my life although I have a child

42:54

and that really takes a giant part of that

42:57

which is like she is the person that I'm

42:59

there to try to teach and help and bring

43:01

into the world and along with Natasha

43:03

I mean I'm not teaching you that's our

43:05

job together but that part of my life where

43:07

it's like I have this mission

43:09

in life to help people that's

43:13

missing in my life in a way that that

43:15

is is really melancholy and sad for

43:17

me because that was such a giant part of my life

43:19

for such a long time feeling like

43:22

I had a use outside of like my

43:24

career and my ego and and like my

43:26

own personal needs I miss having that.

43:28

Was it a conscious decision to leave

43:30

AA? It was a slow and

43:33

arduous very difficult decision and this maybe I've

43:35

never explained to you Bobby and

43:37

and it's it's it's a what I write about in

43:39

the book and I had a lot of I

43:42

had a lot of misgivings about even writing this

43:44

chapter because I didn't want to be this poisonous

43:46

seed in somebody's mind because

43:48

I was big in AA. I wasn't just

43:50

sober I was like a little

43:52

boy king of AA. I was flowing around the

43:55

country. It's where I started comedy really not

43:57

before my first open mic. Yeah,

44:00

I did it. Yeah, I did a men's meeting when

44:02

I was 22. It was called a La

44:05

Jolla speaker meeting on Saturday night it

44:07

was um It was

44:09

a mount soledad and it was like a huge

44:11

meeting and they asked me to be the eight-minute

44:14

speaker Yeah, is that when you realized you could make

44:16

people I killed Like

44:23

one time like I don't have one joke I did

44:25

was I was it's like hundreds and hundreds of people

44:27

Yeah, and it was a big book on this like

44:29

podium and it fell Right

44:31

and I and I went to pick it up and

44:33

I I stayed down for like 45 And

44:39

I finally brought it up I got it you know I got a huge

44:41

one Be like as if

44:43

I was like down there like in a well

44:45

or something like I just took my instincts Yeah

44:47

instincts on it And then I remember after that

44:49

meeting somebody went you you I've been watching you

44:51

speak at meetings and you gotta try it Oh

44:54

stand up. Yeah. Yeah, so that's so fascinating That's

44:57

same with you. It's true for me too. I

44:59

mean it wasn't as direct a connection. Nobody was

45:01

like to do stand-up Yeah, because I still don't

45:03

but anyway, um But

45:07

I I I was like this

45:09

guy that would be flown over because I got sober very young I

45:11

got sober and I was 15 and I got

45:13

out of rehab for the third time at 15 And

45:16

and I went to a young people's meeting and

45:19

I was the youngest person in the young people's

45:21

meeting by at least five years For the first

45:23

five years I was sober so I had this

45:25

like mascot energy for a long time all

45:28

these old people were like Oh, we're so proud of you

45:30

and then I'd like I started to take

45:32

on that role and it just became this job

45:34

I became a fundamentalist. I became for you. Aa.

45:36

It's like shedding old skin I

45:39

wouldn't say it like that like it

45:41

became my religion and I really fully believed in it

45:43

Like I was hardcore and I was more hardcore. I

45:46

think than you Bobby. I think I

45:48

probably I don't mean that like as an

45:50

insult I'm I think it's a more mature

45:52

relationship to 12 steps in AA to like

45:54

have a struggle with it But I was

45:56

so young I didn't have the intellectual fortitude

45:58

to struggle to go. I don't know I

46:00

believe do I? I believe everything and I was

46:02

in. And. Then fast forward

46:04

like fifteen years. I was seen of thirty years

46:06

old and I was sober for a long time

46:08

and I started to have these like little. This

46:11

little. Seed of doubt

46:14

a minute it started at like it

46:16

started. With. A positive. Spiritual.

46:19

Kind of. The desire to

46:21

change. I was this person that was. I

46:23

was super judgmental and super hardcore about A

46:25

and I would always tell people what to

46:27

do and I wanted to like change that

46:29

because I could see I could feel myself

46:31

alienating the people around me and I went

46:33

to the Sky the Sec hippie sponsor and

46:35

I was I can you help me change

46:37

my judgment of other people and he goes

46:39

A will. What would it be like if

46:41

you never commented on another person's behavior ever?

46:44

And it's sent a chill down my spine like

46:46

I thought children will die that the kids are

46:48

gonna die Yeah if I'm not, if I'm not

46:50

there that the kids will.year and he goes. Just

46:52

ask yourself this question doesn't need to be said

46:54

that the need to be said by me doesn't

46:56

need to be said now. And so I started

46:59

doing this a spiritual experiment of keeping my mouth

47:01

shut and I would at first I would see

47:03

things that were wrong and I would go or

47:05

be about to say something and I'd like look

47:07

at my hippie sponsor need like sick as dreadlocked

47:09

know and I would stop and I go. Okay

47:11

this kids are gonna die and then six months

47:14

went by. And I wouldn't see the behavior be

47:16

like that's wrong. But I don't need to say anything but

47:18

I know that person's gonna die without of it. Up the

47:20

summer business and then six more months went by. An hour

47:22

I looked at the bay and I was like oh it's

47:24

not wrong anymore I don't care anymore. I don't want to

47:26

say it anymore. Seven like a giant spiritual. Is a

47:28

nice speech you can be telling bodies Amy. Will

47:32

be your obscenities. Him as a second half

47:34

of athletes at yeah Problem was that experiment

47:36

of changing myself and softening myself and realized

47:38

I didn't know everything It started to be

47:40

this a little it was the beginning of

47:42

this little thread the got pulled in that

47:45

fundamentalism and your I realize that if one

47:47

thing I didn't believe wasn't true then it

47:49

started to come to unravel and the whole

47:51

thing started to feel like maybe maybe none

47:53

of us through a maybe some of it's

47:55

true what that those keep going if it's

47:57

oh too long not love it. not only.

47:59

Thing he said. But your thought processes is

48:01

like like I relate to go ahead like the

48:03

unraveling that yeah pressing yeah, basically

48:05

saying yeah I understand what you yeah, but

48:07

the problem wasn't a the problem was my

48:10

Fundamentalism in it when you're a fundamentalist it means all

48:12

of it has to be true or none of it

48:14

is true And if I could I had I had

48:17

the same exact thoughts you did in chill. I relapsed

48:19

right I hear you Okay, and you haven't done that.

48:21

I don't want you to do it was

48:23

that recently. Oh, yeah I did a couple

48:25

of times right yeah, so in the last

48:27

time I did it because I saw important it is

48:29

to have them there It's not a bit just that oh,

48:31

you know I got sober when I was 17 like you in fact

48:33

yeah You know I stayed

48:35

sober for 13 years after that yeah, okay, and then

48:38

I went out that states over 17 went

48:40

out a couple times But those last time I went

48:42

out None of those things

48:44

really mattered to me what I was like. Oh, I'm

48:46

gonna die Right, and

48:48

I don't know how to stop and it's it's always

48:52

It always was true what a was saying which

48:54

I didn't realize I mean you do realize it,

48:57

but when you're actually in the behavior like oh

48:59

fuck it is a disease. I can't stop There's

49:01

nothing I can do. I'm in this fucking hole

49:03

right and so this last time that I got

49:05

sober I was just like I

49:07

you know I I just have to just show

49:09

up Yeah, right and

49:12

helps listen to somebody else and

49:14

I ask questions And I go

49:16

what do I need to do to stay here?

49:18

And I'm just like like I did when I

49:20

was a kid just following direction from my sponsor

49:22

although I should call them more often, but it's

49:24

like you know and I realized that I

49:29

Gotta help other people because when

49:31

I'm not doing that motion. I'm so miserable Because

49:34

of this business to yeah But are you saying that

49:36

like if you're not this like?

49:39

Fundamentalist about it if you're not black and

49:41

white or all in that you will relapse

49:43

are you somebody? I mean

49:45

all those thought processes is just all like I don't

49:47

even want to think that way It's just like I'm

49:49

gonna stay sober right in simplicity. Yeah, I'm gonna stay

49:51

sober today right now, right? I'm gonna

49:54

do a little prayer I'm gonna show up to this meeting

49:56

even if I don't want to go right and I wanted

49:58

to see what happens I just can't even The get

50:00

go there. But let me way I'm I. I

50:02

love A, I love you know if you through

50:04

every time I love you know can I just

50:06

I love catching the covert virus from a town

50:09

like I had similar to A and or I

50:11

love A A that this isn't I'm not an

50:13

anti gay person. Saved my life. There's a question

50:15

in my mind that saved my life. I got

50:17

friends that are dead. I got friends that are

50:19

in of over relapses and over never getting sober.

50:21

I said live my life. According to the principal's

50:23

I learned in A, there's no part of me

50:26

that's like something. My fear is seeking my fist

50:28

at A and going. That's bullshit. I'm not. A

50:30

guarantee. Of recently died from overdose. I

50:32

do yeah I had I had a do

50:34

a dear friend that was sober for a

50:36

long time this it was decided not to

50:38

be anymore that's dead and and of the

50:40

recently and. It. This isn't about.

50:43

Being. Anti air at all. This is was

50:45

really my journey was really about like or

50:47

what was true for me and what was

50:49

true for me was I would go to.

50:52

Meetings and I would be more agitated when I

50:54

left them the winning and when I got there.

50:56

And to be a favor yeah com this one's

50:58

I. Oh here's what

51:00

they do you believe just comes as wonder why I'm

51:02

curious Do you billie up A I'm not afraid I've

51:04

I've had wouldn't I'm not afraid I'm not afraid of

51:06

you're afraid of me and I am you're terrified of

51:09

the other night lots of us a perform I had

51:11

a difficult time following. You are barred I told you

51:13

I told our i go to the most was on

51:15

thought you're on fire will welcome to the curb your.

51:17

As part of your drama, Bobby. Are

51:21

you always have that some

51:23

lag crazy? The reason that

51:25

nothing. That's. What propels. You.

51:28

Would you mean stop? Hold on What's

51:30

fucked oneself thought. You always my

51:32

you mean like lady like calm

51:34

down Billie See. You

51:36

know, like how he would like tell everyone is days ago

51:39

I didn't I didn't work on my lines. From

51:41

and as such. And. Such as. Even notice

51:43

a noise. And then you get up either way to be

51:45

like. As

51:47

as as I. Had. Any guess like that all the

51:49

other cast mates were like oh damn I don't even

51:52

try that hard as i felt bad for him as

51:54

actually get as sick and right. that

51:57

is bull's eye at us as not yeah

51:59

I tell you the day he did MGM with Bert

52:01

and Tom over the weekend for Super Bowl. And he

52:04

was before, he was like, oh my God. Right, oh

52:06

no, that's all. Oh. Exactly. Then

52:08

the fetal position. I mean, he was like, they're

52:10

gonna boo me, they're gonna boo me. And

52:13

sure enough, he doesn't get booed and then

52:15

the text after that later that night. Please,

52:17

if you say this out loud, we're ending the podcast, you're

52:19

no longer my host. That's a private test

52:21

between you and I. You're gonna be no

52:23

longer my host and I may never even talk to you ever

52:25

again. Edit it out. No, no, you cannot say it. I

52:28

cannot have them hear a private text. I don't

52:30

think they'd be surprised. I already know what the

52:33

text is. I

52:35

already know because I already know what it is. If you

52:37

tell them. Why don't you tell us? There we

52:39

go. You own the power in this. Yeah, grab

52:41

it. All right, but could I say, because it's just a, I

52:44

only said it to bother her, okay. All

52:47

right. I didn't, it

52:50

wasn't something that was gonna be said out loud.

52:52

It was just, I know this is gonna bother her. Don't

52:54

forget the all caps part, okay. Okay, okay, what do you

52:56

say? What do you say? I'm

52:59

so famous. All

53:01

that thinking. You

53:04

are famous. And that was after the, oh

53:06

my God, I'm gonna bomb. They're

53:08

gonna hate me. What made you, that's

53:10

such a funny reaction. It's

53:13

not, it went really well. I killed so hard.

53:15

It was like, what happened? You walked out and

53:17

people screamed a lot? Well, it's actually followed by

53:19

a video of his wealth. No, no, I'm serious.

53:21

So it's the way you said it, what? This

53:23

is the, I'm so famous was followed by,

53:25

you sent me a video of the crowd

53:27

going wild when they brought you out. And

53:29

then followed by, I'm so famous. Okay,

53:33

I don't want that out there. You see how it

53:35

broke? He might be saying it to

53:37

say that's the only reason why he did well. You

53:39

know, it's still like self-insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

53:42

So Natasha, man, I say, you're my inner

53:44

voice. Thank you so much for that. So

53:46

what would I say about you that you'll

53:48

get off stage and have just crushed, by

53:50

the way, you're hard to follow.

53:52

No, no, but there are different types of communities. And then

53:55

Bobby will come off stage having crushed and go, ah, they

53:57

sucked. Yeah. Is It better to

53:59

be that guy or like? Ah they go.

54:01

I killed yeah. I

54:03

would have enough would I rather than a

54:05

deposit doing. But which one would you want

54:08

me to be? That's it's interesting. It's like

54:10

a psychological profile would. Yeah, which direction would

54:12

you like to be delusional? And yeah, I

54:14

guess I would you read. I would rather

54:16

be. I would I rather not be bragging

54:18

the people I would rather get off. Say

54:20

having just eaten since been like that went

54:22

pretty well. That felt good. Causes. Dunning

54:24

Kruger Effect right? Charge? Didn't.

54:28

Look at me when it's thinking year a lot

54:30

better than like all the doors Kimmel of our

54:32

thoughts are with called the Land of the Apes

54:35

of. As

54:37

I. Always think that I'm doing worse than

54:39

I am. Yeah, I think that's what I'm

54:41

doing. I think that's what I did. Not

54:43

everybody does that most. it doesn't either. Gets. He

54:45

does have a when I to after my okay so

54:48

you want to perform me. Up now you

54:50

you know you slaughtered in the mayor was a good

54:52

so know you did right I was born I told

54:54

you that you're like are you possibly by. Will.

54:56

Because I didn't because it's the sort that

54:58

you to the fuck is same. Say no.

55:00

I was filtering it through the information that

55:02

I know about you. which is that you

55:04

were like thinking what, what about me. Know.

55:07

Wasn't you said I don't want to get Ohio when I'm

55:09

going to do now I'm like bobby of of one of

55:11

the strongest comedians I know I think you're gonna be okay

55:13

and then you get up and sir crush the double edged

55:15

up with other a your misery mass why what are other

55:17

going to god knows what we going to be We met

55:19

your mother going we we measure made me mad and guy

55:21

I'm never going back to it. No. Matter what you

55:24

say right now know I got an offer for you. Are.

55:26

Guess. What

55:30

I'm saying is is that. I. See like

55:32

you guys do the same thing in your own

55:34

way. I think probably every but it everyone does

55:36

it in their own way. and as and I

55:38

and our odyssey admit recruit make it puts a

55:41

cruise Oh my swine. Would. I.

55:43

Say. That out loud. even. You know me

55:45

when I'm lights. On another do

55:47

well I do well as growls and I am

55:49

I'm well aware of I think. It's more like

55:51

your it's self protecting. Right, Right? right? If

55:53

you say it's going to go bad and it goes

55:56

what you can only when you can either be right

55:58

or as you are you. what are you. Fucking

56:00

let's just move on. Um, all right. I got an

56:02

offer. What's out? What are you meeting with you for

56:04

six months? If you record a special hour

56:06

special, yeah, I'm gonna do one. Oh damn it What

56:10

are you doing? Oh, wait, you're already booked. I

56:13

mean, I'm talking to people right now get talking

56:15

All right. She wants me to go so bad.

56:17

Well, here's the one thing I I'm not this

56:19

is true I haven't been a meeting in Seven

56:22

years. Yeah, I'm not miserable or

56:24

crazy. You're not I think

56:26

what I already told you it's not about you No, no,

56:29

I feel you on that. That's a good point. You have

56:31

a lot of time Oh and I

56:33

need people right? I mean with time at

56:35

that meeting because I have a lot of

56:37

newcomers But I don't believe in in some

56:39

of the fundamental principles of the program either

56:41

do I so how do you I found

56:44

this experience? Really you have more authority because

56:46

you've been sober for so long but

56:49

I I'm up I feel like I'm a

56:51

poisonous message in a because these you think

56:53

that a is just so like Unshakeable that they

56:56

they're unwilling to change or make these

56:58

changes I want to move on

57:00

from a to I don't you know, I

57:02

don't people want to hear an 8-hour fucking

57:05

Decisions like hey, we're gonna change this

57:08

part about nobody nobody. It's like who

57:10

makes the decisions and changing religions, right?

57:15

Probably just branch off and started happen slowly

57:17

and it happens culturally over the over a long

57:19

period of time and and honestly Oh, yeah, we

57:21

can move on. Honestly one reason Yeah,

57:24

we brought them some secrets honey. Oh, yeah, I don't

57:26

want to force you to go I'm just saying that

57:28

like you just want on a big platform to publicly

57:30

pressure me with What

57:38

a secret oh, well we have a

57:40

podcast endless honeymoon podcast and people call in

57:42

and leave their deepest darkest secrets Yeah, well

57:44

guys came on you right we did and

57:46

we wanted to maybe play some secret Oh,

57:49

you want to play a secret and maybe hear what

57:51

you guys think about it. Okay, it's a secret between who?

57:53

They call in we have a secret hotline and people

57:55

call and they leave their deep dark secrets. Yeah on

57:58

our secret top. Okay, and There

58:00

it is. Okay. There we are with

58:02

wait Hemberton

58:05

and Esther and like we're Frenching. All

58:07

right. I think you might like

58:09

this one. Okay. You want you want dirty one? Yeah,

58:11

I love dirties. Okay. Okay. All right.

58:13

Let's see here. This is the

58:15

endless honeymoon podcast Natasha and

58:17

Moshe. Yeah. Okay Okay,

58:24

how do you pronounce your last name Natasha Legero

58:27

Yeah, you know how to pronounce either of my names

58:29

Moshe or Kasher, it's too late. I let it go.

58:32

Okay Here

58:34

we go. Here we go. Yeah, you're just gonna play it like that.

58:36

Well, how else? Okay, we can we'll sit We'll send

58:38

you that we'll send you the file. If

58:40

this bit kills we'll send you the file About

58:52

three Little

58:54

little up from three years ago. I

58:56

started just randomly waking up with My

59:00

neck crashing really bad and

59:03

didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't think anything of it at

59:05

first but it very

59:07

quickly started getting worse and I

59:10

was having tightness in my

59:12

throat to the point where I was

59:15

having trouble following and More

59:17

and more foods were too hard for me then all of a sudden

59:20

I Got to

59:22

a day where it was so bad that

59:24

I literally couldn't get anything down except for

59:26

liquid I had already been to

59:28

the doctor and I was like, alright, I

59:30

have to figure out what's wrong here so

59:32

I tried to think what had changed recently

59:35

and it hit me that Shortly

59:38

before my next problems had started. I

59:41

had bought myself or the first time ever

59:44

a pocket for feet I

59:46

became instantly addicted. I Used

59:49

it every day usually several times and

59:51

we're not talking quickies here I was

59:54

using it excessively. So I thought maybe I just

59:56

love you then for a couple days I

59:59

did and sure enough I felt better and then

1:00:01

so I wouldn't be tempted. I just chucked

1:00:03

it and within

1:00:05

the next month or two, I was 100% back

1:00:07

normal. And

1:00:10

now to this day, I have family members who

1:00:12

will ask me, oh, what do you

1:00:14

think happened? What was it that caused your neck

1:00:16

problems? And I have to

1:00:18

pretend I don't know because I can't tell

1:00:20

them that it was actually because I

1:00:23

was jerking off too hard. Okay.

1:00:28

I know you probably have never had a pocket pussy, right?

1:00:30

I have all of them. Really? Yeah,

1:00:32

he's got like the model from like 79.

1:00:34

Every brand, every electrical brand. He

1:00:36

has a homemade one from a Pringles can. Yeah,

1:00:38

I think of Pringles cans. Yeah, you know, they

1:00:40

call that in prison, they call it Fifi. Yeah,

1:00:42

I have Fifis. Oh, is that like high level

1:00:44

contraband? Like that goes for a lot

1:00:47

in prison? What I remember you would

1:00:49

do in rehab, they would teach you

1:00:51

to, this is old school before they

1:00:53

created the vibratory ones, you would get

1:00:55

a surgical glove, you would put

1:00:57

Vaseline in it and then warm it in hot water.

1:00:59

And then you would take the thin mattress of a

1:01:02

rehab, fold it into, take

1:01:04

the surgical glove over the fold and then fuck the

1:01:06

mattress. Similar concept with a Pringles. We got a similar,

1:01:08

yeah. Yeah, surgical mattress, very important. You just add the

1:01:10

sponge. Oh, you have the sponge around it.

1:01:13

We have two like dish sponges. Hey,

1:01:15

why are you showing off? You shouldn't have this information. We're

1:01:18

like involved in the architecture of it. Videos

1:01:20

are showing off. He's done like, he's

1:01:22

done DIYs on this. Yeah,

1:01:25

I'm glad you did my brain. What's the known thing about you?

1:01:27

What do you mean the known thing? It's

1:01:30

a known thing. Yeah, you have multiples. Do you

1:01:32

use them regularly? What? The pocketbook

1:01:34

seats. I have a new thing and it's a new

1:01:36

thing. I'm in the future, Don. His contraptions are like

1:01:39

pretty impressive. It's a new thing. What is it? You

1:01:41

want to tell us? I know what it is, AI. No, it's not,

1:01:43

what do you mean AI? Like a robot up there? Like a robot. No, no,

1:01:45

no, no, no. It's not that expensive.

1:01:47

What I have now is a

1:01:50

ring. I can go

1:01:53

up there and bring it down. I'm good. What

1:01:57

do you mean? Yeah, what do you mean? Why don't you add the

1:01:59

thing that bothers your thoughts? Because I know Bobby

1:02:01

when he's explaining he's gonna want to get he's gonna want

1:02:03

to show I'm not gonna show how I could Use my finger

1:02:05

in you anyway, but my point is okay. What do you do ring?

1:02:07

It's like a little ring Okay,

1:02:10

and it's like a rubbery ring and

1:02:12

on the on the like it's like

1:02:14

imagine Oh, you know who what's the

1:02:16

guy's name from the Avengers? Don't

1:02:19

I mean get the bad guy? Oh with the

1:02:21

glove Oh Thanos right, you know how big his

1:02:23

fingers are Yeah, it's like it would it looks

1:02:25

like something that he would wear like a wedding

1:02:28

ring or whatever I mean or a promise ring.

1:02:30

It's just a cock ring. It's a cock ring

1:02:33

But no, it's more than a cock. What does it

1:02:35

do? I don't vibrate. Yes But

1:02:37

it's also it's got little buttons on it in a

1:02:39

bit Let

1:02:43

me we don't call it that let me finish okay,

1:02:46

so there's one setting where it goes I'm gonna

1:02:48

just touch do the sound. Okay, okay That's

1:02:51

like main sound all the way through. There's no breaks

1:02:53

on it. The second sound is Really

1:02:57

hard that really fucking burns Right,

1:03:04

but then it goes into rhythm rhythms Oh

1:03:07

Got a bongo drums, you know electric daisy and

1:03:09

does it and does it have like you have to move it

1:03:11

or you just set it on Your day. Here's so what here's what

1:03:13

you're supposed to I don't know why I mean explain this This

1:03:16

is the pianist. Okay. Okay Scouts honor mine

1:03:19

And So this thing

1:03:21

is supposed to go on the

1:03:23

bottom right for the clitoris That's

1:03:26

not what I do, baby. Right? You don't care about the clitoris.

1:03:28

You just found out about it. Yeah about

1:03:30

the clitoris Yeah this year I heard yeah.

1:03:32

Yeah, I didn't have a literal was called

1:03:35

but now But

1:03:37

now I want to do is I wrap it on the head,

1:03:39

huh? Right on

1:03:41

a lower frequency then I use

1:03:43

my hand on the bottom You just put your

1:03:46

hand on the shaft on the shaft of it.

1:03:48

Okay, so the top is vibrating Yeah, but I'm

1:03:50

I have the motion, huh? And you also put

1:03:52

a little bit of lube. It's waterproof Yeah,

1:03:55

a little bit, you know, so it

1:03:57

doesn't hurt like scrape or And you think

1:03:59

it's safe for in terms of neck injury. Or

1:04:03

no idea what he's doing his i fear

1:04:05

he might with last. Eating out. With

1:04:08

a good to see ya ago I bought a

1:04:10

martyr. Was it or not a procedure a was

1:04:12

hours a day. My. Mom used to will

1:04:14

still clean somebody tell Oh and on

1:04:16

I've had is like very explicitly tell her

1:04:18

like those things that you see in

1:04:20

his bathroom, his bedroom do Not touch them

1:04:23

She was a oh I've been cleaning the

1:04:25

meticulous. Logo. And that's why lovers like I Love

1:04:27

Pringles I didn't have as a monotonous. The season

1:04:29

know what they worse as he hadn't seen be cleaning

1:04:31

has lot of pussies and rise of my you can't

1:04:33

touch that that like. A kind of want to come to

1:04:35

go down to bring some of them down. Version certain I want

1:04:38

to see I would just come on a limited. Only

1:04:40

though I'm boundaries your mother hundred

1:04:42

cleaning his house. yeah she's a

1:04:44

body. I think you need to

1:04:47

hire a someone new and original.

1:04:49

Like no bodies like I refuse.

1:04:51

you know you he added said

1:04:53

down and got one. One from a

1:04:55

comedy festival. They gave us a flashlight as less

1:04:57

light on. I tried it. I thought this is

1:04:59

absurd but I don't understand why I need is

1:05:01

equipment for this thing. I've been doing so well

1:05:03

for so long and my own digital other know

1:05:06

it was. It just felt like. I

1:05:08

guess is that, but I wasn't doing something.

1:05:10

Bobby's taken the technology to another level and.

1:05:12

Will also it seems more and ah

1:05:14

clean to not have like dizzying in

1:05:16

this like deep dark tennis can write

1:05:18

in L A is not someone who's

1:05:20

gonna do like Astor Care on his

1:05:23

pocket right? Are you network crusted? A? oh.

1:05:25

My God. yeah I know whenever he dies. Yeah yeah,

1:05:27

he's not a guy who bring you a warm towel

1:05:29

lake would he think he's gonna do with a

1:05:31

pocket pussies in Atlanta? Sarah like also when oh

1:05:33

so when it cross over the top he

1:05:35

knows it's full of gas or drug prices.

1:05:37

By the knew what? he probably just. A foster said

1:05:39

gets on your a farming there's a

1:05:41

time here. Okay here we go from

1:05:44

this where the same with exist with

1:05:46

hostile proud of your to way of

1:05:48

oh my god that was approved like

1:05:50

locked and loaded clean okay blow throw

1:05:52

I alone in a blow brow or

1:05:54

they coins Wow this was a little

1:05:56

learned a charge Oil is a good

1:05:58

like around like doesn't. Bother. Okay,

1:06:01

good. So um this one right

1:06:03

here Right you this is

1:06:05

how you turn like this so it has this motion.

1:06:07

You stick your dick in that. What do you think?

1:06:12

I get the lava lamp No,

1:06:15

and this one has different Controls

1:06:19

is this like a hundred percent you'll come what

1:06:22

do you mean? What do you everything's a hundred percent you'll come?

1:06:24

Yeah, yeah 100% are you on your back? What

1:06:27

do you try to like fuck it down? No,

1:06:29

no, I've never tried that doggy stuff. Oh You

1:06:34

know this one comes with a mount. I'm just

1:06:36

oh really on the wall. Yeah, I got a

1:06:38

tripod like a tripod I'm not like you can

1:06:40

spin on it like anyone. There's that you know

1:06:42

what he does what he screams when he comes

1:06:44

Yeah, I'm so fucking famous I

1:06:49

wish you know Dude,

1:06:51

don't ever mount that if someone

1:06:53

saw Someone came over and

1:06:55

saw that you mounted your pocket pussy as

1:06:58

a permanent fixture. Yeah, okay, so this

1:07:00

is it okay This is interesting why I

1:07:03

would say it's just like I thought yeah. Yeah,

1:07:05

so you press this I Can

1:07:08

hear I can hear yeah, yeah, that's that's like

1:07:10

that hurts higher. That's intense

1:07:12

Wow Now

1:07:14

this really that feels good. I

1:07:16

like it's fun. I'm in the room Right so

1:07:18

you have you have it here on the tip

1:07:21

like I don't want to try one right and

1:07:23

you just jerk off this Yeah, oh my you're

1:07:25

okay. What's the company? Mosha

1:07:27

what's the company? Why do you need

1:07:29

that? Yeah promoted wet vibe a

1:07:31

wet vibe if you're out there Listen, go ahead. Actually

1:07:33

Bobby. Could I borrow that one? I'll

1:07:38

buy you one. I'll come to the meeting tomorrow when you're All

1:07:41

yours if you come to me, I'll have a brand new one I'll

1:07:45

go brand new one. Wait now. I know it's called wet

1:07:47

vibe. Do you add lube or does it not need lube?

1:07:49

I do a little bit. Yeah, you circumcised of

1:07:51

course. Thank you. Yes Okay,

1:07:54

is that a private what yours what do

1:07:56

you mean? Yeah,

1:08:00

he brings out his pocket puts

1:08:02

in your that's a little forward

1:08:04

Yeah, I have a question about the

1:08:07

Jewish community. Are they still a super

1:08:09

hardcore into circumcision? Oh, yeah I

1:08:11

would say it's one of the Filipinos. It's one of

1:08:13

the prime. Oh really Filipinos are yeah You're basically

1:08:15

humiliated as a kid if you're not circumcised.

1:08:17

Oh shit Yeah, but I but also

1:08:19

most people in where I'm from in, Illinois

1:08:21

were circumcised America really in America everywhere else

1:08:24

in the world I'm surprised here the Philippine

1:08:26

the Philip Catholic very Catholic very West. Are

1:08:28

you circumcised? No, you know, I'm not you're

1:08:30

not yeah, but he wasn't born and raised there right,

1:08:32

right, but it is get above it Oh feels

1:08:34

great. Yeah, that's right. There's a wet vibe. You

1:08:36

love oh, it's a wet vibe That's

1:08:40

really you don't need to use lube when you

1:08:42

have that big old mound No, you don't

1:08:44

use lube at all. No when you jerk off you

1:08:46

just do the you talking about this It's

1:08:53

a built-in pocket pussy. Yeah Wow. I'm very

1:08:56

like anti I used to be like

1:08:58

only cut they cut but then now I'm you

1:09:00

want it all. Yeah, let's answer. Do you use a

1:09:02

vibrator? I don't you've never

1:09:04

used a one Not

1:09:06

really. Yeah. Yeah. I mean I have before

1:09:08

yeah, but yeah, I've

1:09:10

never really needed that me, too I know

1:09:12

you think she has you but there's no no, do you know

1:09:15

who used a vibrator? Your mom

1:09:17

my mother and I know the brand it was

1:09:19

a hatachi magic wand because she Loved those I

1:09:21

never asked so she would she would do it

1:09:23

really loud. Yeah It's the loudest vibrator on the

1:09:25

market But my mom has no relationship to the

1:09:27

concept of sound and so my childhood was spent

1:09:29

like walking by anyone listening. She's deaf She's deaf.

1:09:31

Yeah, I would walk by my mom's room and

1:09:33

I would hear this like Her

1:09:38

moaning right and she had it displayed it was

1:09:40

on top of her bed. I'd be like mom. It's on it

1:09:42

put it in a fucking drawer Invented

1:09:45

drawer Wow very sex-positive. She's from the

1:09:47

Bay Area And she like you know when I first

1:09:49

started dating Moshe she would see a picture of laundry,

1:09:51

and she'd be like you buy this for Moshe Fucking

1:09:56

fun, and I would just wow that's my wingman right

1:09:58

there. Wow and your dad knew about this vibrator?

1:10:01

Well my my stepfather. Oh yeah yeah. Oh so your

1:10:05

dad passed? My dad's dead yeah. Oh

1:10:08

don't say it like that. He died last week it's just weird that

1:10:10

you would bring it up. No he's been dead for a long time.

1:10:12

For how long? How long has it been dead? 24 years. Wait so

1:10:14

your dad was deaf as well right? That's

1:10:18

right but he's not deaf anymore. He's dead.

1:10:21

He's dead but he can hear me now. He

1:10:23

loves this podcast. Wait

1:10:27

so you're so they got a divorce? They got

1:10:29

divorced when I was nine months old and my

1:10:31

mom took me to Oakland where I was raised

1:10:34

and my dad became like a born-again Hasidic

1:10:36

Jew. Oh so they were

1:10:38

like weird freaks and beatniks in New York and

1:10:40

then my mom left him and then he married

1:10:43

up with a woman from like the Hasidic community

1:10:45

and they went the I would like I would

1:10:47

fly back home to see my dad and like

1:10:49

cosplay as an extra on Fiddler on the Roof

1:10:51

for six weeks a year.

1:10:53

Wow and your mom married your stepdad is he

1:10:55

deaf as well or no he can hear. He

1:10:58

can hear. But they met in like sign

1:11:00

language classes. That's right. Oh they did.

1:11:02

He was like hot for deaf women. Yeah.

1:11:04

It is a thing it's a specific kind

1:11:06

of thing. Yeah. Huh that's interesting

1:11:09

but so you call him dad? No

1:11:11

no I call him Larry. Oh

1:11:14

really? Yeah. So Larry I heard your mom with

1:11:16

the virus. I mean I'm sure Larry was was

1:11:19

involved right? Or Larry could get one of

1:11:21

these. I should buy one. Get Larry one

1:11:23

of these. You were super

1:11:25

into the Hitachi's too right? Wait you used

1:11:27

them? Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean how?

1:11:30

What do you mean? I would rub it against

1:11:32

my the hair. Let

1:11:34

me say something okay. Yeah. Say it. Hey

1:11:36

you gotta send me the link. I'm gonna

1:11:39

give you one too. When's your

1:11:41

birthday Jaime? I think of the

1:11:44

Mayo. Think of the Mayo? It is. The fifth of

1:11:46

May. Yeah. I mean there's no way that wet

1:11:48

love whatever it's called is not gonna sponsor you

1:11:50

and send you like five free ones. Yeah. Um

1:11:53

so wet love. Yeah. Wet vibe. Wet

1:11:55

vibe. Wet vibe. Wet vibe. Yeah. I'm

1:11:57

sure there are better um but like

1:12:00

The vibe, so here's what here's the thing. Yeah. Um,

1:12:02

I what did I used to get on the road?

1:12:05

Well, I would buy I would go to

1:12:07

fucking see of it CV s or what?

1:12:09

No, I would get the gigantic back massage

1:12:12

Yeah back massage with the three prongs three

1:12:15

prongs. What do you mean? Like there's three ball

1:12:17

three balls It's for your bad. Oh, I see.

1:12:19

I see it right. So you'd get that

1:12:21

as a I would put that against my dick Wait,

1:12:23

do you masturbate? like

1:12:26

og style still or Like

1:12:28

pioneer style or canned just regular.

1:12:30

Yeah, you still call Abe Lincoln style With

1:12:35

just a handful of fat back But

1:12:39

I also do but for some reason

1:12:41

I've always been into Vibration

1:12:44

interesting. It is very interesting. No one else. I've never

1:12:46

seen a guy goes me too. I was like, I'm

1:12:48

the only one I personally don't

1:12:50

like plugging in sex toys or

1:12:53

charging drug paraphernalia Right

1:12:55

all kind of like Could

1:12:58

I ask Natasha some questions I was a lot about

1:13:00

like a man. May I yes, um,

1:13:04

you're acting a lot No,

1:13:11

because every time I bring it up you said this

1:13:13

like like you kind of negate it and you put

1:13:15

pressure Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm acting a lot.

1:13:17

I yeah, I just wrote a book recently The

1:13:21

world deserves my children. Yes, it

1:13:23

was just re-released on paperback. Yeah,

1:13:25

I'm touring right now. This is very

1:13:28

organic Wait

1:13:30

Natasha you mentioned touring where

1:13:33

are you touring? What stops

1:13:35

are you making? Yeah. Yeah, honestly,

1:13:37

I don't really remember but if you go to my website

1:13:41

Going to Tempe Tempe. Are

1:13:44

you guys both in Chelsea's movie or just you

1:13:46

just her? So you're in

1:13:48

Chelsea, you're in Chelsea pretty smoothie.

1:13:50

Yes. I'm in Chelsea's movie. It was just a Santa Barbara

1:13:52

film. Right? Okay, I'm

1:13:55

gonna say something very uncomfortable. I wasn't gonna bring it up to

1:13:57

both of you. This is exciting Yeah, and I don't want to

1:13:59

get in a fight with it and this is

1:14:01

my observation yeah what I'm

1:14:03

scared don't be scared what is it

1:14:05

is this a hot take no it's not a hot take it's

1:14:07

um I don't want to get a fight with Bob I'm gonna

1:14:09

say what I just want to say

1:14:11

um you guys know both of you you

1:14:14

guys are in the cool group the cool

1:14:16

cool group of what part of Bobby like his

1:14:18

memory it's not my thing no it's not nagging

1:14:20

himself it's not no it's not no it's not

1:14:22

I don't even know what that means you

1:14:25

don't know what nagging I do but my point is is

1:14:27

that it's not someone to know what I'm doing I believe

1:14:30

this idea of the cool group and comedy

1:14:32

yeah and this is not an insult but

1:14:34

I think that you are using

1:14:38

outdated information I'm not I think there yeah

1:14:40

I'm using facts I think there is no

1:14:42

cool group oh my god was that's these

1:14:44

are not facts they are facts I

1:14:47

think the note there it is the fact no I think the notion

1:14:50

of cool in stand-up yeah is

1:14:53

is it is a product of the early to mid

1:14:55

2000s and that what like

1:14:57

if you look at what's actually no the fact that

1:14:59

you were in Vegas in front of how many people

1:15:02

oh yeah yeah but we're the but no

1:15:04

how many people 30,000 15,000 people that's it wrong comedians

1:15:06

they like beat themselves up

1:15:12

that's just you giving

1:15:14

yourself bruises and like okay I think

1:15:16

that maybe you're right doesn't look not being

1:15:19

me but no I'm not being

1:15:21

mean to myself I know why I'm your

1:15:23

I am the wet vibe king I mean

1:15:25

so like to say that 15,000 seats

1:15:32

is not a lot of seats no it is

1:15:34

a lot enough see it I heard you say

1:15:36

the same about 5,000 seats and

1:15:38

it's just like it just starts to be I'm kidding

1:15:40

I'm kidding come on really believe it a little

1:15:43

bit I'll tell you why though can I

1:15:47

tell you why then I have to go pick

1:15:49

up my kids all right we will all right so

1:15:51

last thing I want to say yeah okay it's

1:15:53

is that Chelsea's

1:15:56

an old friend of my pretty mm-hmm I love you

1:15:58

I love her too but like three

1:16:00

three four years after to do the tiger about this

1:16:02

podcast that you wouldn't do it and

1:16:04

so that it's like it wasn't doing podcast right

1:16:06

now she was a new mommy at that time yeah

1:16:08

ask her again yeah he has her own podcast she

1:16:10

might want to talk about I'm kind of coming

1:16:13

over to Natasha's side here the fact

1:16:15

that someone said she couldn't do your podcast three years

1:16:17

ago you translated that it's I get it I'm not

1:16:19

in the cool group that's fine I'll just sit over

1:16:21

here in the non cool group instead of being like

1:16:23

maybe she's busy I'll ask her again you're

1:16:26

right you're right you're actually come Wednesday I'll

1:16:32

prove to be that you're not in the

1:16:34

cool group I think cool doesn't even exist

1:16:36

anymore I think the I'll text you I

1:16:38

think the only thing that exists is is

1:16:40

like the internet and I think that the

1:16:42

whole idea of like cool kids in comedy

1:16:44

that's shattered I know does I just I

1:16:46

was just kidding most said something really depressing

1:16:48

the other day what he said cools not

1:16:51

in style just being young young isn't

1:16:53

stuff yeah it's true yeah yeah it's true

1:16:55

to you

1:16:58

because you get it you're like um you

1:17:00

know toxic not toxicly but you are

1:17:02

I'm a toxic partner no

1:17:04

but you're chronically online and

1:17:07

online youth is like bigger

1:17:10

than in real life yes that's

1:17:12

true yeah oh subculture vulture my new book both

1:17:14

has a new book subculture vulture it's out now

1:17:17

I talk about this AA stuff am I grappling

1:17:19

with it's basically like each of the six worlds

1:17:21

that I lived in look look look well group

1:17:24

that shepherd Nick Oh John

1:17:26

Malini chain smokers I get it I

1:17:30

take I think it's basically the six worlds

1:17:32

that have created me deafness and sign language

1:17:34

interpreting AA in the 12th step yeah Hasidic

1:17:36

Judaism stand-up comedy Burning Man and the rave

1:17:38

scene it's like a history and a comedy

1:17:40

and a memoir all-in-one I'm super proud of

1:17:42

it most amazing writer I've read it New

1:17:44

York Times liked it I got a good

1:17:46

review it's gonna be great it's

1:17:48

here I want people to listen and watch

1:17:50

yeah can I is there a audiobook on

1:17:52

that yeah yeah you do the thing I did

1:17:55

it actually I did it there's a funny factoid yeah that

1:17:57

I did it all except for two lines because there was

1:17:59

a part in where I talked about when I stopped

1:18:01

using the n-word because I was like I want to be

1:18:03

as a kid Yeah, like think I had a past yeah

1:18:05

And my friend Larry one day like threw me up against

1:18:07

a wall and took away my past yeah And this really

1:18:09

it was at an AA meeting. He like literally threw me

1:18:11

up against the wall It's like you need to stop talking

1:18:14

talking like that. Yeah, and and but he didn't say

1:18:16

it like that He used the n-word and yeah, and

1:18:18

it's Larry black. Hopefully. He's like Larry was black Larry

1:18:22

was black and he's like you got to stop talking about it. I

1:18:24

was like oh no I don't mean anything by that's just some North

1:18:26

Oakland shit. He's like stop talking like that, too Not

1:18:29

from North Oakland you're from Northern, Oakland Wow, and I

1:18:31

was like I can't read these lines like I can

1:18:33

put an asterisk in the text Yeah, I can't actually

1:18:35

read it in the audiobook. I go. I need like

1:18:37

Samuel L. Jackson or yeah a famous black How does

1:18:40

it but I'm not gonna call a comic and go

1:18:42

hey Would you come in through an audio session to

1:18:44

say the n-word twice? Yeah, so I

1:18:46

thought who should it be and then I go well. What

1:18:48

about Larry? What about real Larry? I hadn't talked to him

1:18:50

in like 25 Wow I looked

1:18:52

up Larry Thank God for Facebook in every

1:18:54

way. I support them politically and I found

1:18:56

Larry and Larry like Randomly first

1:18:59

time in his life came into a

1:19:01

voiceover studio in Oakland So

1:19:06

you guys want to plug anything else oh yeah,

1:19:08

I got some stand-up dates coming up Yeah, totally.

1:19:10

I'll be in Tacoma the first weekend in March

1:19:12

March 1st and 2nd Madison the 14th or the

1:19:14

16th Comedy on state

1:19:16

comedy on state yeah, I didn't go back to that and then

1:19:19

I'm doing that Netflix is a joke festival May

1:19:21

the 12th at the Troubadour so any of those amazing

1:19:23

in Los Angeles any of those I would love to

1:19:25

see people and Have them

1:19:27

come out see the the terrifying

1:19:29

intimidating comedic beast that I am to Bobby

1:19:32

Lee so good You're both a

1:19:34

great. I'm gonna be in Chicago Yeah,

1:19:39

Tacoma my

1:19:41

homeland Brea, California and

1:19:44

Also check out our podcast endless honeymoon. Yeah,

1:19:46

we don't just have secrets We also do

1:19:48

relationship advice and people call in they're gonna

1:19:51

want I really wish I had asked you

1:19:53

more questions relationship advice actually We've

1:20:00

got a code.