0:00

You guys, May 15th at the

0:02

Bourbon Room in Hollywood, myself, Bobby,

0:04

Esther Pavitzky, Caroline Goldfarb.

0:06

We're getting together for a night to

0:09

celebrate my brand launch for Ebb Ocean

0:11

Club. I'm super excited about this. We're

0:13

gonna have a nice night. We're gonna

0:16

have themed drinks. We're gonna have really

0:18

fun segments. We're gonna have really great

0:20

goodie bags. Go

0:22

to the Bourbon Room website. That's

0:25

where you can get tickets. May 15th, man, at the Bourbon

0:27

Room. May 15th, Bobby and I will be there.

0:29

Esther will be there. Hopefully George and Gilbert is...

0:31

You wanna mingle? If you wanna mingle. If

0:34

you wanna mingle, you wanna get a goodie

0:36

bag. You wanna laugh a little bit. You

0:38

like bags, right? This is a really perfect

0:40

night for beauty and comedy to sort of

0:42

like have a little mini class. Honestly, come by

0:45

and say hi, man. Come by, say hi, go get

0:47

your tickets, and we'll see you there. Go get it! Anyway,

0:59

welcome to the Ebb

1:01

Ocean Club. Anyone

1:19

that came to our Honolulu show, thank you so

1:21

much for coming. It was a

1:23

great show. So much fun. Did you have a good time in Hawaii? Really

1:26

good time. Thank you for asking. It

1:28

was a really good time for asking.

1:30

It was a really joyous time. I loved being on the island. Here's

1:33

what's frustrating about you in Hawaii. It's

1:36

like Gilbert, me, Alex, like the

1:38

whole production team. Like

1:40

we're having the time of our lives. Like

1:42

we're exploring places. We're eating everywhere. Time

1:46

of my life. And I

1:48

never saw you again. And

1:51

the years just nowhere to be found. Well,

1:54

I'm there. You can feel my presence. What are you

1:57

talking about? I was there. We had dinner one night and then

1:59

we knew it. never saw you again.

2:02

Time of my life. Yeah

2:06

because you know when I go into

2:08

my, well I go to

2:11

the, what are those places, I don't know

2:15

what I'm talking about, the

2:17

focal points where the energy is. Energy

2:21

vortex? That's what I'm talking about. Some

2:24

people call it focal points. Can

2:26

you hear me? Yeah. You want a

2:28

lot of it? You go in and out

2:30

of my voice? Is that good? I'm so sorry, what's up?

2:33

I like you man, what a good guy. I've been hanging out

2:35

with you a lot Alex, I like you a lot. Dude

2:37

but Alex and I, we bonded in Hawaii. Yeah I

2:40

know, he loves food, that's

2:42

why. You guys are both fat. Yeah,

2:44

you do it through food. I

2:47

do do it, my love language is showing

2:49

people new places to eat, that is

2:51

my love language. New places, good

2:54

times. You

2:56

guys, dude do you wheel all right? Lately I've

2:58

been, what's wrong with you George? What? You're

3:01

looking down at the screen, you're concerned because

3:03

I'm not, I'm not myself. I have two

3:05

kids. We didn't see him

3:07

in Hawaii either, he was nowhere to be

3:09

found. Where were you, where were you? You

3:12

left, Saturday. I was back

3:14

here, you know my wife could do work

3:16

on Sunday so. Yeah, yeah. So

3:18

you had, you were like in and out of there, you were there

3:20

basically for a day in the house. Yep. You're

3:23

miserable too, I don't know why but you kind of did.

3:26

Never miserable, what are you talking about? I mean he got

3:28

the biggest pop off in Hawaii when he came out and

3:31

did a little bit of pigeon. I couldn't believe George,

3:33

he hooed, I like clutched

3:35

my pearls but he chihoed and it worked. It

3:37

crushed. It crushed. Show us one

3:39

George. No, please no, no more. I'm

3:42

not on island time right now, I can't do that. Oh

3:44

God. I

3:46

just watched a lot of like documentaries about killers and

3:48

stuff. Which ones, what's the newest one? I

3:53

was like, your Hawaii experience. Yeah, yeah.

3:56

Wait, in Hawaii you did this? Yes

3:58

I did. Wait, did you watch Baby Reindeer yet? Oh,

4:00

wow. I'm in third episode. I can't do it. Why?

4:04

You know, I you know, I don't like needy people,

4:06

you know me, right? It

4:09

just kind of issues like embodies my

4:12

biggest nightmare Another

4:16

thing about it is like I just don't know why

4:18

this guy in the beginning would even be that nice

4:20

to her Well, it gets

4:22

into why like the whole

4:24

after let me guess What

4:27

can I guess you can't guess this one? Oh

4:29

damn and not get this one. Oh, so it

4:31

gets real crazy It gets well, can I can

4:33

I try to guess? Yes He

4:36

has feathers Okay,

4:39

his mom was like that. Nope.

4:41

Okay. Um, he's also a stalker Nope.

4:45

Well, you haven't you haven't you watch the first

4:47

three and it's kind of like she's the crazy

4:49

one. Um I keep

4:51

watching keep watching because it

4:53

is the most frustrating thing what you think

4:55

will happen actually will you don't have

4:58

it down? She actually cooks

5:00

up with her. I will not

5:02

say anything. Oh god. I think I think I'm Close

5:05

to it then. Yeah, but what's

5:07

insane we dig it drunk Please

5:11

just watch. Okay. Okay, because it's

5:13

like hology behind like brokenness. They

5:15

tap into that It's like just

5:17

when you think there's a perpetrator and then

5:19

a victim There's usually

5:21

there's usually a flip there. Yeah, is

5:24

it worth it? I think

5:26

it's worth it because it's really dark But I

5:28

feel like it's worth it and like it's really

5:30

it's sad and dark. Mmm

5:34

anyway Hey

5:36

Gilbert, you know, I have to ask you a question So

5:41

that's the way I was, you know, they set up my

5:43

I have a new place now Up

5:45

stay redesign my house. They finally

5:47

set up my little gaming kiosk nice area,

5:49

you know And so last night I was

5:52

like kind of staring at my screen

5:54

my video game screen. They're going

5:56

there's nothing to play So

5:58

that looked up Um, Spider-Man, cause you

6:01

said it was a good game. Yeah. There's

6:03

no Spider-Man games. Is Spider-Man games only

6:05

PlayStation? No, it's on the PC. No,

6:07

Xbox. Oh, it's Sony and PC. So

6:09

you can't do Xbox? I don't think

6:11

you can. Yeah, that's what it is.

6:14

So I don't know what else to play. Replay

6:16

Fallout, and live like the TV show.

6:19

Miha, did you finish a TV show? No, but it's great. I

6:22

love it. Oh, that's another thing I have FOMO. What's FOMO

6:24

mean? Fear of missing out. Yeah,

6:26

I have FOMO about it. I'm

6:29

a homo. That's

6:31

what I'm about to say. You FOMO homo? FOMO homo.

6:34

No, um, because I

6:37

was, so I watched the, um, I was

6:39

at the Calamity store because I stopped by

6:41

Mark Norman's podcast. Okay. He asked me to.

6:44

Went in there in and out, and then in

6:46

the patio, everyone was watching the, um, the roast.

6:49

And in my mind, I'm like, and I see, you know, see all

6:51

your friends on it. You know what I

6:53

mean? And it's like, you know, I don't know how one

6:55

gets invited to that. You know what I

6:57

mean? I can't imagine you weren't at least invited. I

6:59

don't know how to get invited. I

7:02

think I'm doing it wrong. So I'm just

7:04

standing watching going, oh, that's for

7:06

the cool people. My

7:08

selfless team is not high right now. I'll be honest with

7:10

you. But also you hate roasts. It's just,

7:13

you don't even, you know, but like

7:15

a lot of people went. Oh, just

7:17

to go. Like Paulie, everyone was just coming in the

7:19

audience. You're hanging out, hanging out. You know what I

7:21

mean? My

7:23

stomach hurts. I mean, your self-esteem

7:26

shouldn't be low. We, uh, he had his headline

7:28

at Brea. I saw it was sold out. Of

7:32

course. Did we think any, any

7:34

mental crime in the suits was all right.

7:40

Then Oh yeah. So we had somebody

7:42

come out to do maybe

7:44

a comedy special for

7:47

me. Oh, good. And

7:49

it was a company came out. Yeah. Bloop

7:53

this out. Okay.

7:57

But then they go 2026. But

8:01

the worst thing is we were fearing the suits are gonna

8:03

be these type yeah because I was like I Went

8:05

up there and I was like cuz I was so nervous because I was

8:07

like I Can't

8:10

do me. I can't do my act. I

8:12

can't show my pubes You mean I

8:15

can't go cray-cray Right and then

8:17

my manager and everyone in the room was like

8:20

just do your thing. Yeah So

8:22

then I clicked and I go I'll just do my thing and then

8:24

afterwards I was like, oh they're gonna go It's too much for us

8:27

But then they were just like oh, we're no more huge

8:29

fans and you know, I mean that you know, we we

8:32

love you You know me. So maybe they said 2026

8:35

because they know like you need

8:38

I write like three jokes every year. Yeah, I think you're right

8:45

But anyway, um, I Might

8:48

have to poo like in the middle of this

8:50

interview. That's fine because I don't have to poo

8:52

now But you feel it coming

8:55

I see a knock knock knock and I

8:57

got turtle turtle high high Can

9:01

I be honest with him I want me to yeah good is

9:04

that you just seem so healthy and Happy

9:07

and I'm just so happy

9:10

for you, but then it's always comes to me. It's like, you

9:12

know, man, let's go Yeah,

9:14

nobody, you know man. So it's like it just

9:16

makes me sad not about you. I'm happy for

9:18

you But it's a

9:20

weird week, but you always have

9:22

me Not

9:25

fully anymore though. Yes fully nothing

9:28

changes. My friendship is unwavering.

9:30

It's yours forever You

9:33

got brown mountain brown

9:35

Mountain, dude It's the

9:37

same it's the same Alex

9:40

because I can't then I can't be friends with you. It's like no

9:42

I can go around But

9:50

I enjoy my time with him yeah, I enjoy

9:52

it I enjoy it do we not have a blast

9:54

together I had a blast of why a blast fucking

9:57

murdered bit back at it all weekend. Yeah,

9:59

we were telling we missed I mean

10:01

look you did officially meet Brown

10:03

Mountain Brown

10:07

Here I come Climbing

10:10

your mountain face. I can't believe you

10:12

got that moment on camera too when

10:15

they met like you can see my

10:17

face like visibly like uncomfortable How

10:21

nice was he me though? I

10:26

Need a nice guy. I already

10:28

knew he was a nice guy, right? But for me, I'm like

10:30

that is a good point it had to I mean you have

10:32

to say how I felt a month ago Yeah,

10:34

it's for me to get to that place. I was like,

10:36

oh Don't

10:39

yeah, I'm growing

10:43

so anyway, um, oh Let's

10:46

look at my I just I gotta get my

10:48

head right because this woman this lady this person

10:50

my friend I don't even get

10:52

it. I love her so much No,

10:55

because I saw her on the rose killing it life

11:00

Killing in life fuck boy Island other

11:02

shows That's not the new

11:04

one fuck boy Island is in the past. What's the new

11:06

one the one other one? What's the new one the

11:08

one on CW? CW? Yeah

11:12

She's a new one new one Lovers in

11:14

paradise lovers and paradise lovers and liars

11:16

lovers and liars Here's a debt. She's

11:18

moved on to another one. I just

11:20

all the day everything everything man. And you

11:23

know, here's what bothers me about her Sorry,

11:27

I'm gonna do you I think you're gonna come in a second.

11:29

Hold on what bothers me about her is that Everyone

11:32

seems to love her Right

11:34

everyone does not I've never heard a bad word

11:38

No one say you know you every once in a while

11:40

you'll go someone go I don't like what it was so

11:42

and so, you know But you don't get this from

11:44

her and then you then you're like, oh well

11:46

then I want to be her enemy She's

11:49

gonna have one and then when I see her I'm

11:51

like, I love her Nikki

11:53

Glazer get run over Liars

12:10

Burn I was last night. Oh,

12:12

it was so it was so fun. Hi Nikki

12:16

nice intro. Thank you so much you I've heard you

12:18

I forgot you said that to me one time before

12:20

do you ever get A compliment that floors you so

12:22

much that you like don't keep

12:24

it you let it go when good things

12:26

happen to me I let them go cuz they can't handle

12:28

how good it makes me. I'm the same way.

12:31

Do you do that? I do I do it of

12:33

course you do I'll tell you what you don't like

12:35

yourself I hate myself you won't believe when people

12:37

say you're you go great say I go fuck

12:39

you What do you ever let it

12:41

in do you ever? Like you

12:43

know here's the thing I've been trying to let it in

12:46

the last couple years I because it's like it's insane why

12:48

not let it in there's no reason not also

12:50

why why let it in first because

12:52

it feels good But here's why I

12:54

say don't let it in yeah Because when it goes

12:56

away when something but when when like people right now are

12:59

like if you're having a moment let it in And

13:01

I'm just being so calm and cool about it because

13:03

I know it'll go away because everything does Literally

13:05

and especially in this business. I know it's gonna go away

13:07

So I'm just like I don't want to get too excited because when it

13:10

goes away I don't want to be sad exactly what it

13:12

is because it will go away It's good. I've been

13:14

there where did it work go away? I don't want

13:16

to be hot the hot thing Like

13:19

what's going on for me right now? I'm joking

13:21

you because it's too much attention and

13:23

when you people there's too many eyes on you of

13:25

saying you how great you are Then

13:28

then they start it's only a matter of time

13:30

when they start going is she really That's

13:34

fine the things about her that she

13:36

doesn't like that's why when you're around I don't even look at

13:38

you Great yeah, yeah, because

13:40

I'm like she's too much now. What

13:43

is it? I don't like it

13:45

I don't like I like okay, that's when the green

13:47

room at the man in the man room I

13:49

mean this is how comedians talk to each other anyway cuz

13:51

we're like we can't write a contact and then I'll go

13:53

like this I go oh I

13:57

saw a wince though. You can't let me

13:59

see that Oh really? Yeah, we have to

14:01

act like a single. Oh, I have to hide it. Oh, okay, you

14:03

can take it out, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Better? And

14:08

then I snuck another look, if you look back. I

14:10

snuck another look because I wanted to see what your

14:12

face was doing right after you turned away

14:15

because I knew you might go. Oh my god. But

14:17

actually I don't know why I did that because

14:19

I don't seek out what people think about me. I

14:22

really don't, I try not to, I don't read any comments

14:24

and I'm really proud of myself about it. Yeah,

14:27

I think that's it. So it's

14:29

like if you have to just be so neutral. Yeah. Because

14:32

if you let this in, you let this in. And I don't believe

14:34

the good stuff anyway. I just go, that person's like... But

14:37

you should, after last night. Yeah, absolutely. No, no, no,

14:39

I'm happy with what I did. I

14:41

definitely accomplished a goal, but I feel

14:43

like it was, you know, I

14:46

just want to, I just, I don't want anyone, I don't want any

14:48

more eyes on me. I just like being the way I was where

14:50

everyone's like, she's nice, like I like that. No, no, no, no. No,

14:55

I don't want anyone to go except for you. No, no,

14:57

no. No, it's like, yeah. What are you

14:59

talking about? You're on the top of the hill, man. Is that?

15:03

But that girl last night was like, ba da ba, but

15:05

like, she's like, the girl that was on stage

15:10

last night doing that roast was

15:12

like, she was a version of, it

15:14

was me, it was all the way I talked. I thought

15:16

you were talking about somebody else. You literally

15:18

did. Yeah, I thought I did. I go,

15:20

who else are you competing with? Oh

15:23

my God. Did I know Whitney wasn't there? No. I

15:26

was with her. Well, on the bottom of

15:28

the mountain looking it with up enough. Oh, right.

15:31

I mean, the only reason I get to do roast

15:33

is because other women who are

15:35

amazing before me have turned it down because they are so

15:37

hard to do. That's not true at all. That's how you get

15:39

opportunities. I'm sorry. Why am I yelling? I

15:42

just want to know. I love it. I

15:44

love it. I like Nikki. I just want

15:46

to say I'm sorry for yelling. Don't put my hands

15:48

up. I'm sorry. I'm glad my palm

15:50

was on the back. I

15:52

will say that of all like, I know that. If you

15:54

do it like this. If you do it like this. Like

15:57

really? Like who? Do that.

16:00

It's like I'm like yeah with a smile

16:02

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It's that easy. With

19:03

a smile, it totally doesn't look bad. It doesn't

19:06

look bad. I feel like women roasters are just

19:08

on a different level. Different level. You, Natasha, even

19:10

girls like Kim Congbin. There is just a different

19:12

level. I worked with Kim. Was

19:15

she on it? Yeah. She was on

19:17

my team. She was... We were

19:20

working together on this. Oh, she would help you write. She

19:22

was helping direct, helping... Yeah, she was helping me

19:24

write. She was... You assemble a team of your

19:26

friends and you go all hands on deck. You pay

19:28

them or no? Hell yes, I pay them. I'm...

19:31

I did not make any money on this. I'm spending all...

19:34

I pay well because I have people who

19:36

care about me. Who work so hard, who

19:39

are taking this as seriously as I'm taking

19:41

this. And man, this

19:43

is so essential to me.

19:45

They should be making it.

19:47

I try to be very

19:49

generous because it felt so

19:51

great because last night it was such a team effort. I

19:53

assembled such a crew because I... Now

19:55

I'm treating these... I'm treating my specials and I'm

19:57

treating these... kinds

20:00

of opportunities like okay if I did

20:02

a talk show and got a talk

20:04

show wouldn't I hire a writing team

20:06

yeah a writers assistant to keep track

20:08

of all the notes and a

20:11

producer to like just weigh in on stuff and

20:13

call meetings together to talk about what what are

20:15

we gonna do with this TV show that is

20:18

protocol and but with but see the specials you just

20:20

kind of go I think it's actually I'm just gonna

20:22

on my own put together this narrative then I've never

20:24

really I just get up on stage and tell jokes

20:26

in different time increments I'm not really putting together a

20:28

story I don't know how to weave a story so

20:31

now I'm like oh let's bring on someone

20:33

to do my special that knows something about

20:35

weaving a story okay actually let me where are you doing

20:37

friends who are fun where you doing this about you know riff with

20:39

I did I did it in Seattle and

20:41

we'll accompany coming out Saturday

20:44

that's why that's like

20:46

I'm here to promote

20:48

Netflix no HBO hey

20:51

neither neither knew about each

20:53

other the two guys

20:55

I've been fucking ran into

20:57

each other that like this week with

20:59

the debut of the Tom Brady roast

21:02

Netflix yeah and HBO special it's

21:04

a week it's a collision of it's

21:06

a PR it's a dream though because

21:08

HBO feeds Netflix Netflix feeds HBO you

21:10

should be proud to have this person

21:12

that we're gonna own each other well okay

21:14

people don't watch my

21:17

special because they saw me on Netflix how did

21:19

two people feed each other you guys

21:21

I literally just woke up so you're coming out

21:23

I haven't slept in like

21:35

30 34 I think that's what I'm

21:37

witnessing so I'm just saying just slow

21:39

it down man right now it made

21:41

perfect sense to me okay I know it's for

21:44

both humans right but it's just like you am me

21:46

up Bobby you have me a baby so I'm okay

21:49

so what you're saying is that

21:51

they're both competitors yeah so I'm no slow

21:53

down hold on let me just ask I'm

21:57

sorry I'm welcome by the way welcome So,

22:00

um... A

22:02

Tiger Belly clip comes up. I'm gonna

22:04

watch. I'm stopping

22:06

to watch that whole clip because something

22:08

fucking hilarious or revealing is gonna happen.

22:10

That's the promise of a Tiger Belly

22:12

clip. Here's one right now. Hahahaha.

22:17

You're welcome. There's two, there's

22:19

two, so they're competitors and they have to fuck

22:22

with each other because of scheduling and stuff. Uh,

22:25

yeah. I mean, like, when you

22:27

are working with a net... I just

22:29

found this so counterintuitive when I started working with networks

22:31

and they would be like, you can't work, you can't

22:33

do things on other networks, we own you. I'm

22:36

like, but isn't it good? People

22:38

watch multiple networks, they're not only watching Comedy Central.

22:41

So they're gonna see me on something else and then they might go,

22:43

where else can I see her? And it'll

22:45

drive me to the thing at the other place. So, it

22:47

actually, it's weird when a network wants to

22:49

own you and like, we're the only one that works with you. You're

22:52

only on our network. Um, they have to come to

22:54

us for you. Like, well,

22:56

how are they gonna find out about me if I don't do other things? Right. Because

22:59

they're not, you're trying to get them, they're obviously not watching

23:01

right now, they're watching other things. Everyone

23:03

knows about you. What are you talking

23:06

about? In terms of like,

23:08

look, I'll just... But this is a perfect situation. This

23:11

is a perfect situation, the business itself. No,

23:14

this is a perfect situation of Netflix

23:16

truly feeding HBO. Yeah. Like,

23:19

because, I mean, the timing of it all

23:21

is just, couldn't be more perfect. Yes. And

23:24

HBO could feel threatened by it and go, wait a second,

23:26

that was our week with her. She's our girl. Like, she's

23:28

going and doing press, she should be talking only about her

23:31

special and she's gonna get all this attention for the roast.

23:33

Well, guess what, I'm gonna get so much more press because

23:35

of this roast. And guess what I'm gonna mention,

23:37

my special on HBO right now. Someday you'll

23:39

die. And I wrote the

23:41

theme song for it and you should go listen to that song right

23:43

now, which is also available. Sing it, sing it, sing it, sing it,

23:46

sing it. Someday you'll die. That's the

23:48

hook. That's so good. So I want

23:50

to, so like, I remember like a

23:52

month ago you were like talking about

23:54

doing the roast. Yeah. Okay.

23:58

And you were like, you're telling me how many people are going to be like, there

24:00

remember? Yeah. At the

24:02

forum or whatever? Yes. Oh yeah we were

24:05

outside the door. And then you were like you know what I

24:07

mean and I'm just working out on these jokes and this and that

24:09

and I'm like you'll be fine. Yeah you were calm about it. You

24:11

were calm about it for me. I was calm about

24:13

it but I was like telling you like you're gonna

24:15

kill it but what I'm saying is because I've been

24:18

in situations where I mean

24:20

you know you're doing it in front

24:22

of a lot of people. Yeah. And

24:24

so let's take us through what goes

24:26

on. So are you nervous? Were you

24:28

nervous yesterday? Yes. Did you meet Tom

24:30

Brady first? No. And usually we

24:32

do. Like usually but it's right

24:34

before. Even I've done the Rob Lowe one,

24:37

I've done the Bruce Willis one, Alec Baldwin

24:39

and then it's been five years. Wow. Pre-COVID

24:41

was the last one and then it's this

24:43

one and this one was obviously it's at

24:45

Netflix so it's different than the Comedy Central

24:48

ones and he's Tom fucking Brady. And they

24:50

don't give you like parameters. It's

24:52

you go into it it's kind of like you found out you get

24:54

it and you just go who's doing it and they're like well we'll

24:56

tell you when we know. And you just kind of are like so

24:59

just writing Tom Brady jokes okay what's the angle

25:01

gonna be? That joke. Start just thinking about it. I saw you do

25:03

it. I started reading about him. I started watching his documentary.

25:06

It's just like I want to like absorb this man

25:08

and like feel like I can really form an opinion

25:10

about him. And then you eventually find out the other

25:12

people that are in it and then those people drop

25:14

out. And then so you wrote all these jokes you

25:16

get the best joke of your whole set. You completely

25:18

lose because that person. You can put it in your app. You can

25:20

put it in your app no? Yeah that's a good point. Yeah good point. I

25:22

have a question. Do you guys cross reference

25:25

jokes? Like what if you land on the

25:27

same thing? Dude. It happened last night. Talk

25:29

about nerves. Okay so I was already nervous

25:31

going in and I'm sitting there and the

25:33

show starts and Kevin Hart is doing his

25:35

opening monologue and he does a joke I

25:37

have. No not that not the rock joke that

25:39

I like. No but he does. Did you do that

25:41

that joke? I did. Oh yeah I did that joke. And it's

25:43

crushed right? Thank God he didn't have that joke. Well that

25:46

joke you know that joke? Yeah the extra weight. Five

25:48

pounds. Yeah. Because I started

25:50

doing it three weeks ago in the main room

25:52

and I literally. Into Kevin Hart's little body? Yeah

25:54

yeah. I literally collapsed in the front. It's so

25:56

funny. It's such a great joke. I'm so

25:58

proud of that joke. But

26:01

the one that I was actually

26:03

very proud of too was that I You

26:07

were on my you know, I'm getting horny for him and I'm like you oh

26:09

you were on my fantasy team last night Like

26:11

my clit has CTE now. I Was

26:15

like oh and then I go And

26:18

I would show you but the NFL is making me cover it up and

26:20

I just thought Like

26:23

it's soft like fantasy team is soft it's

26:25

hard And then the tag is just almost

26:27

as hard as like it's just a perfect

26:29

and then Kevin Hart says You know

26:31

Tom Brady when you got out of your divorce

26:33

you were fucking around so much your dick has

26:35

CTE and I'm like and I just

26:38

like Oh

26:42

dear and then I and then I'm like, what do

26:44

I do? Okay, so now I know that it's Kevin

26:46

Hart set and then it's gonna be um

26:49

Jeff and then I know he's

26:51

doing six minutes Or seven minutes me probably gonna run

26:53

to nine and then I have drew blood So his

26:55

will probably go six minutes So I have like I'm

26:57

working with like ten to fifteen minutes where

26:59

the audience can forget that joke and reset and

27:01

maybe be open To hearing it again, and then

27:03

I can just always say No,

27:06

no, but you did it and it was I

27:08

did it. Yeah, let me understand my reasoning Bobby

27:11

So I go I have enough time And

27:15

I could always say and I don't really care because we wrote

27:17

the same joke It's not a crime and

27:19

mine was already loaded in the thing It's not like I

27:21

that would be insane if they were like Nikki Glazer stole Kevin

27:23

Hart But I just heard and repurpose what

27:25

you would be obvious. Did you tell the

27:27

audience like this next joke? I thought

27:29

about doing that so it's right. I would have done that

27:32

I go I go Okay, maybe I'll just say I'll say

27:34

I'll do the joke and I'll go that would have done

27:36

better Has the same joke not been written and someone didn't

27:38

catch in the teleprot like I wanted to like maybe like

27:40

lash out Yeah, yeah, like do a joke away.

27:42

We're just like who fucked me on It

27:47

was my writer it's not me You

27:50

know, I wanted the right decision because I

27:52

watched it and I didn't clock it. Well,

27:54

thank God I arrived at the top

27:56

of my head. I go. I okay. I'm just gonna do

27:58

it because it doesn't matter it and blow through

28:00

it just yet because they're gonna doubt you for a second

28:03

and go do we just hear this joke but not really

28:05

because it's a different word like there's gonna be a moment

28:07

of like i think there's a lot of jokes in between

28:09

a lot of show happen 15 minutes is a lot you

28:11

didn't open your thing with that joke did you know it's bearing

28:13

in the middle go go go that's how you do it that's

28:15

how you do it blow past the cte part

28:17

don't that that was gonna be like a cte

28:22

and then like and then i would have uh you know and now

28:24

my clip cte leave that's

28:26

an interesting delivery that would have

28:28

made people feel like oh

28:34

that's why i've never done a roast what really what the fuck oh

28:37

my god literally i've never done one

28:42

what why did everybody ask me oh

28:44

you don't never been asked to do a roast what

28:46

they asked me i would do it but it's not like

28:49

i don't buy like can i do it roast battle never

28:51

done it what would you do it

28:53

though if asked at this point no it's a

28:55

lot of work i gotta say writing i

28:58

mean it's putting together a show it's like it's

29:01

a lot harder than your act i just don't

29:03

want to do it you're so fat you look fat stupid fat

29:05

you know what i mean you

29:10

are natural oh thank you so much no it's it's

29:12

tough and you gotta and you have to go

29:14

to a dark place in your mind and like

29:16

think really bad things about people right right so

29:18

then afterwards like you get to have a moment

29:20

with him and say hey like all good right

29:23

yeah like well i didn't meet him at before

29:25

and so during it i'm just like it was

29:27

almost good that i didn't meet him because i

29:29

felt nothing for him in terms of life he

29:31

was just he's just a he's

29:33

a 2d image to me i've never seen him

29:35

in 3d i don't really care about making this

29:38

person i got i have to get to a

29:40

place where i don't can't i i'm detached he old

29:42

so i didn't really want to meet him but that's why it was great that

29:44

i did it he's 46 so he can three months and two

29:46

days okay and 22 hours 11 minutes whoa 58 59 um yes

29:57

if you weren't married would you let me just say

29:59

okay oh look at us. Oh my God, we're

30:01

nearly. Oh, fuck you. What are

30:03

you talking about? You're about to

30:05

fucking the next it couple. No, that,

30:08

um, look at that's where

30:10

they were that first met the next

30:12

Taylor and Travis, uh, my

30:16

dream. Um, yeah, no, I, he

30:18

was a beautiful man, but I will say when I

30:20

did the roast of Rob Lowe, look,

30:22

I was struck by

30:24

his beauty and it was like, you could just, when

30:27

I deliver my jokes about how fuckable he was, it was like

30:29

they worked in a different way because I was

30:31

alarmed, but Tom just looks, it's almost too perfect that it's

30:33

just like, doesn't make sense. It's so funny

30:35

when you see real Hollywood, cause you know,

30:38

we hang out with dirty comics, right? But

30:40

sometimes you'll see real Hollywood and you'll go

30:42

and you kind of go, what? Yeah. Yeah.

30:44

Like when I met Josh Brolin, he goes,

30:47

Hey Bobby, you know, my name. And then

30:49

we took a photo. I was like, you

30:51

know, and you look at their faces and

30:53

you're like, it's just nice. You sent me

30:56

that same photo six times. I know.

30:58

Yeah. That's Stamos face. Oh

31:01

my. Really next level. Yeah.

31:03

When you see my face, I'm like, look at my face.

31:06

We look goofy face. What's going on? You know, like during

31:16

the Vietnam war, it's like when veterans from

31:18

both sides meet 40 years. That's what it

31:22

looks like. Like, Oh yeah. I kill your family,

31:25

but when I was good, that's what that photo

31:29

looks like. So cool, man. We can all live in

31:31

like in a 10 burns documentary. Oh my

31:35

God. They meet up every year. Yeah. On

31:37

anniversary, they come to America. They're going

31:41

to Vietnam. Yeah. Yeah. They have

31:43

family's mask here. They meet up. Yeah.

31:45

Yeah. And remember it. And then she always still calls

31:47

me a little Chinaman. He still

31:50

can't let go of some of the races of your view.

31:52

Hey, come over here, man. Good to see you. You

31:56

look cool. Oh, thanks. God. You look

31:58

like glamorous. I know. I hate looking. I hate

32:00

like the last picture I get up, but you

32:02

you look famous in that picture, but there are

32:04

people They're just like, you know, I

32:06

saw Kim Kardashian up close us yesterday Impressive

32:10

up everyone was a chappelle was there. Yeah

32:13

Up close to yeah Everyone just

32:15

famous people when you meet him, they're just

32:18

glowy and in chain invited me to the eclipse

32:21

Who did you go pal? What were

32:23

you doing? He goes? I want you

32:25

and Andrew to come to Ohio and

32:27

watch the eclipse. Do they have a

32:29

full eclipse there? It's in Ohio and I go

32:31

it wasn't in the past probably not I think

32:34

Texas for sure It probably was a had a

32:36

little where does he live in locality? Yeah Place

32:40

he lives. I just heard I don't know yellow. Yellow. Don't

32:43

go don't look at me like Yellow Know

32:53

what I'm saying is um, and then I was like

32:55

we can't make it work, but it would have been great We've

32:58

been awesome. Did you do that Bill

33:00

Burr was there and also um Bert? Bert

33:02

Christ was there. Yeah. Yeah. Have you

33:04

done his fully loaded tour? Yeah, I'm

33:07

doing it soon Oh my god, it was so the next couple weeks

33:09

or something. It's so fun thing. It is. I can't believe you

33:11

haven't done it yet Yeah, I would love to do it with

33:13

you. It says all about the let me say something. Let me tell

33:15

you Okay,

33:20

let me tell you about these two words right

33:22

I'm always the last guy like the last guy

33:24

of oddball The final season, you

33:26

know man. Come on you do some you know, man

33:28

It doesn't make sense because you're an awesome

33:30

hang. So I'm great you are you're gonna

33:33

have someone who's going on it with you

33:35

Who is the who's at the crew? I

33:37

know where he is. Oh fun. Maybe

33:39

spade Spade that's that

33:42

would be a thing. Could I just let's talk

33:44

about spade for a second? I know I could

33:46

do the rest I know I want to talk

33:48

about I want to talk about David spade, okay

33:51

And let me just get my thing out

33:53

because it's very emotional. Okay He

33:57

couldn't be like he's one What

34:00

you want out of a veteran comedian?

34:04

Available, supportive,

34:07

he feels inclusive, he's very inclusive,

34:11

he makes you feel, you know those

34:13

things where a veteran will bring you

34:15

up on stage and they'll just walk, like Martin Lawrence,

34:17

nice guy, but, you go, bye, bye, I

34:19

don't know, that's not a good, Martin Lawrence impression, but

34:22

I'll go on stage, it's barely a thing,

34:24

right? But David will do a thing where

34:27

we kind of talk for 20 seconds on stage. Does

34:30

anybody else get to see him, man? You're gonna love

34:32

this crowd. Like, honestly, he just, he

34:34

invites me to dinners, and he's

34:36

always made me feel like I was a

34:38

part of Hollywood. I'm being real, I

34:40

love him so much. My biggest achievement in

34:42

this business is being friends with David Spade. Yeah,

34:44

me too, I think. Honestly, when people

34:47

ask me, what's the coolest thing of

34:49

your career? I'm like, the people I've

34:51

gotten to be friends with, Bob Saget's another one that

34:53

I'm like, the fact that Bob Saget loved me and

34:55

I know it and I felt it is like, I

34:59

knew it at the time too, before he passed, this isn't just me

35:01

being like, I was friends with

35:03

him. I remember feeling like, oh, this is an

35:05

achievement that Bob Saget, I get that love that

35:08

everyone talks about from him. But David Spade is

35:10

the same way. He's just the

35:12

funniest person ever. He

35:15

makes me laugh so hard, he has for years, and I was

35:17

watching him this morning, I did stern this morning, I had to

35:19

wake up at, so I did the roast, wrapped it

35:22

eight, once after party, got home at 12, hair

35:24

and makeup, 3 a.m., stern, 5 a.m. Oh

35:27

my God. Oh my God. So I

35:30

literally just woke up. I did all

35:32

that shit, that's incredible. Yeah, we're on opposite sides, but

35:34

we're like meeting somewhere in the middle. But

35:37

yeah, so I

35:39

woke up and I'm just like, dead, and I'm kind of like,

35:42

starting to like, have like regrets of last

35:44

night, and now I'm doing, like, last night

35:47

was such a buildup, and it

35:49

sounds insane that I would have a regret of last night, but

35:51

it started being obsessive. I talked about it on stern, but I

35:53

started like, freaking out about how I looked, like I was like,

35:56

my makeup was fucked up, and I was just

35:58

like, again, lashing out, like, whose fault, Like

36:00

I have to find something wrong. So I started like a bad night

36:02

going I didn't get to bed till 1 30 So I got two

36:04

hours of sleep and I wake up and I'm like getting my makeup

36:06

done again And I'm being like I don't

36:08

know why my like what can we do with my

36:11

last last night? Like it was like do we know

36:13

why it didn't go all the way to the corner

36:15

my I'm like kind of my dance Oh, yeah, but

36:17

I'm sleep like I'm just tired and a lot of

36:19

attention is like swirling and so And

36:22

I was like, oh no, I can't go into Stern with this energy.

36:24

Like what is this? I

36:26

got it because this is self-doubt like I gotta

36:28

go in feeling confident about myself because this is

36:30

starting it really matters Have you done search number

36:32

four? Yeah, and it matters a lot to me. I'm a

36:34

huge fan I am a huge fan huge

36:36

and so when I like got

36:39

in I moved to New York to do my serious show

36:41

So I could be in the same building as him. That

36:43

is true. I literally don't care I'll

36:45

know he's pretty no, I didn't know

36:47

I just want to be close to him All right.

36:49

Okay, and then I got my serious show and then I would like see

36:51

him in the hallway and go You

36:53

wouldn't go hey, I'm Nikki Glaser I have a show next

36:55

no do not bother Stern. He has enough going on Provides

36:58

it like the way I feel about Stern the way I feel

37:00

about Taylor Swift's like I don't want to bother them I don't

37:03

want them to have to deal with me. Like yeah, I don't

37:05

I don't have to create They

37:07

need to preserve their energy to make the things that I love

37:09

and I don't want to get in the way of doing that

37:12

And set their energy by being like I'm a big fan So

37:14

I just like stay away like I don't even need to meet

37:16

you. That's the way I felt about him But then I started

37:18

be friending I was friends with people on his show

37:21

because I would see them around the office and

37:23

they're you know They work on the show and they

37:25

started liking me and talking me up and slowly I

37:27

would get on the after The after show and then

37:29

have you done that for sure? I don't know why

37:31

I keep bringing up things I

37:35

haven't done anything and we can move on. Yeah.

37:38

Yeah. Yeah. I've done this Don't

37:44

come you're amazingly accomplished. That's why

37:46

I feel okay The

37:48

only reason you don't do something is because you don't want

37:50

to do it. That's not fucking true Anyway,

37:54

um, then you eventually met him. So yeah,

37:57

I eventually met him. I know he eventually like had me

37:59

on I did roast of Ronnie the limo driver

38:01

and I had a good showing on that so that

38:03

got me in the door and then they would have

38:05

me on to like judge a dick size like the

38:07

smallest dick contest yeah I'll do whatever yeah I've done

38:10

like phone calls where I'm like faking an orgasm for

38:12

one of the whackpackers that like like I'll literally

38:14

I would write a sibbian for Howard so I would do anything like

38:16

you do what he tells you to do

38:18

so I whore myself out to that show constantly and I

38:21

love it I love every second of it but they also

38:23

have had me in for interviews and had treated me like

38:25

you know sincerely and today was my second time that they

38:27

had me in like on the couch talking wow how

38:30

long do you go I was by up

38:32

as long as Howard once so they don't know but we went the

38:34

whole time baby oh wow if

38:37

you did five minutes would you hurt your feelings

38:40

deeply because I know an interview on a show

38:42

you've got to go it he can let you

38:44

go under an hour like I would think that's

38:46

unheard you have to go over but he was

38:48

we just couldn't stop talking and I know that there is show

38:50

on the I listen to the show so I know they're showing

38:53

the back end of the interview and there wasn't much show in

38:55

the back end of our today and it was nice that's

38:57

right and he called me afterwards to thank me

38:59

she's so nice so sweet and was just like

39:01

you have your number he got it

39:04

you know I didn't even save his I'm like

39:06

get that I don't even have that and it like it

39:08

was just the night I've been right there is

39:10

his number but I get back to David's baby

39:12

who Billy Ray Cyrus yeah how do you know what

39:14

happened there I don't know

39:16

I honestly I look during your relapse here's it

39:18

here's it's no no it wasn't your man here's

39:20

a funny thing okay so I years

39:23

ago I was looking through my contacts and

39:25

this is Billy Ray Cyrus right and I

39:27

know I've never I didn't know who I

39:29

had a Google that was like oh that's

39:31

my service daddy's a country singer right I

39:34

had never met him before right and this is probably

39:36

some guy that I met on the road that looks

39:38

like Billy Ray Cyrus got it right so I'll

39:40

remember I go that yeah that's that guy that looks like it

39:42

but you didn't even know who Billy Ray Cyrus I did that

39:44

I did because I Google okay all right but it but

39:46

you're saying in the blackout moment where he doesn't he

39:48

meets the guy that looks like Billy Ray says he

39:50

wouldn't know to put it right that because he didn't

39:52

know yeah I don't know so can you can

39:55

we text him right now just like what no hi so I was on hinge when I

40:00

when we

40:02

broke up and I went on a couple

40:04

of dates with this girl and she was Billy

40:06

Ray Cyrus' assistant at one point. Yeah.

40:09

Right? So, and I think I hung out with

40:11

her for months. And so one night, you know what I mean,

40:13

we were talking about, she was talking about, I used to work for Billy Ray Cyrus

40:16

and I was like, what's so funny? Because

40:18

I have this, there's a guy that looks like, right?

40:20

But I got, there's no way. And she goes, well, let me just give

40:22

me the number. And I

40:24

showed her to learn. She goes, that's his cell phone.

40:26

No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

40:29

just, I know I have him and thought he was

40:31

a guy that looked like Billy. I think that's what happened.

40:33

I think there was a guy that I thought that looked

40:36

like Billy Ray Cyrus, but was Billy Ray Cyrus. No. Yeah.

40:40

It's just like Billy Ray Cyrus. Right. I

40:43

go, I am Billy with that. Yeah, you're not. You know

40:45

what I mean? But you, your number anyway. But why would

40:47

I get, you don't know his name, but you're getting his number.

40:49

Yeah. I don't know how. What

40:51

situation would that occur? Yeah. Can

40:53

we test? I don't want to test it. Yeah. Because

40:56

I don't want to get blocked by him. But what were

40:58

the plans? Did the plan dropped it? No, that's my question. It's

41:00

like, why was there an exchange of numbers to begin with?

41:02

I don't remember. I swear to God, it's been there for

41:04

years. He's a fan, clearly. I

41:07

don't know why. You're not a fan. Yeah. You

41:09

didn't know existed completely. Can we reach out to

41:11

Billy Ray and eventually maybe have him phone in

41:13

the show and see what he remembers? Absolutely.

41:16

Yeah. I don't think I've ever met him, but.

41:18

But he might be one of these guys that remembers everything, you know, like there's. I

41:21

don't see yourself. I think he's got a guy, Gary Bues

41:23

is going to buy it. Do you very remember? Like,

41:25

I bet he's a fan. I bet he's a fan. I hope so.

41:27

And he goes, I'm Billy Ray Cyrus. And you go, I don't know what

41:29

that is. Yeah. And then he

41:32

takes down my name. It's like what happened to me in Miami

41:35

with what's her name. And

41:37

then I burned a bridge with the club with

41:39

who? Without us. Let me

41:41

guess. Hold on. Rihanna. Let

41:44

me guess. Wait, wait. You're

41:46

the only. Gloria Estefan. Wait, Gloria Estefan. So

41:48

I was at the club. I've

41:56

told the story before, but years ago, but I was at

41:58

the club. Miami

42:00

and Prab way back in the day. Okay. I'm

42:02

in the green room. I'm so hot. I

42:05

just remember that Sweating right

42:07

and the manager comes back. They goes. Oh man She's

42:10

here. I go. Oh,

42:13

I'm so hot. He's like,

42:15

I don't care about that. He does Yeah,

42:18

yeah, yeah Gloria

42:21

Gloria Who's

42:23

that? Who's that? She goes

42:25

oh Gloria

42:29

Estevan boy. Yeah, and I go I

42:31

don't know and he goes you don't

42:33

know Gloria Estevan I guys I don't know. She's

42:36

an actor right? I didn't know I'm sorry.

42:38

It's okay. I'm sorry What year is this

42:40

many years 20 years ago? Yeah, that's

42:42

actually that's crazy. It's crazy, right? Did

42:47

you miss that that was a moment I I

42:49

grew up with joy division and I

42:52

and sonic youth Like

42:54

noise cool man, huh? No

43:00

I like pavement, you know slack or

43:02

me. No, yeah Like

43:07

how did I live all the way on

43:09

the other side of the globe and everyone

43:11

knew Gloria Estefan? Yeah, the Philippines love that

43:13

shit. Maybe we do love Love

43:15

that do so like anyway, so I go I

43:18

go who is it? They go Miami my man

43:20

and I might not sound machines and I go

43:22

okay and they go and I she goes she's

43:24

like huge And I go oh,

43:26

it's a good thing So I'm

43:28

on stage and I'm eating

43:31

it Right, and I

43:33

think it partly is because I know that she's there

43:36

And I have a fear of somebody I don't

43:38

even know right that's there that could be important,

43:40

but you know now she's important That's all it takes.

43:43

Well, I'll tell you what So what happened was

43:45

I halfway during my set? I was bombing

43:47

I don't know what to do So I go

43:49

oh we have a special person in the crowd Yeah Yeah, I don't

43:51

know what else to do right and they put

43:53

a spotlight on her or something They like lit up

43:55

that side of the room and she kind of

43:57

stood up. I go Gloria and above And

44:04

when I said that oh my god, yeah, the

44:06

audience was like kind of cheering But also like

44:08

you fucked up her last name and

44:10

she literally got up and left wait This

44:12

is your job. Oh wait. This was your

44:14

John Travolta Adele the Z moment. Yeah

44:19

You were insulting her like because yeah, yeah,

44:21

I didn't know did anyone I mean people no

44:23

one corrected you No, I

44:25

mean afterwards after this why she leave and they're like

44:28

you fucked up her name It

44:31

was like thirst and moral from Sonic you thought it

44:33

got that right Yeah, you know me because it's Joey

44:35

Santiago from the Pixies. I thought she was right there

44:37

Oh, I had a moment like that. I was doing I

44:39

said the I heart music Awards and there

44:42

was And I got

44:44

to sit with all these celebrities cuz I was presenting

44:46

some sitting next to machine gun Kelly and Megan Fox

44:48

and and Usher's performing and he's doing this like right

44:50

life her life. It was awesome. Joel McHale me and

44:52

Joel McHale are What are we doing? Like

44:55

he's always the guy you look at that these things where you're

44:57

like he'll be there to be like look at her alive So

44:59

I forget who else was there. I was there with my dance

45:01

partner from Dancing with the Stars I was like the

45:04

just trying to look hot that night with this hot

45:06

guy That I failed on this show if

45:08

I got first voted off with them It was so embarrassing,

45:10

but I'm like, oh, I'll bring the lab with me gloves

45:13

of shanko and um Usher

45:16

is like singing to us and I'm

45:18

like, oh my god. We have like a private party. It's

45:20

after the show It's rapping. So it's like he has an

45:22

amazing band. Yeah, that's us on the that

45:24

that's my dance. Look at our chemistry. Look

45:26

at Look at my

45:28

face horrified. I didn't know

45:30

he's gonna do that to me. I was pretty mad but

45:32

um, I was not prepared for that

45:34

but Usher after the

45:37

show wrapped was like just kind of held everyone

45:39

hostage with a concert and I mean that because

45:41

like I think other celebrities Wanted to go home

45:43

But like usually they be gone as soon as

45:46

that thing ends What ushers like now like we're

45:48

gonna wind down and like oh I was a bummed.

45:50

I Loved it because I love us.

45:52

There's a fucking I'm like, I want to go home.

45:54

I want to go home though. No, you would have

45:56

yeah I don't want to go home. Yes, but he

45:58

was like I'm done. I just So he wants

46:00

to like sing with his band and he's performing and he's putting

46:03

the microphone in her face and he's singing a Michael Jackson Song

46:05

that I don't know when he comes to me and I

46:07

let me guess I don't remember what it was because I

46:09

don't remember it's like Billy Ray Cyrus, you know, like yeah No,

46:14

no, no One that

46:16

I don't I don't have been expected to know but like

46:18

what was it one of the mouse the mouse? Yeah,

46:25

that one all Mike is it a Christmas one What

46:28

the mouse one about a mouth he wrote

46:31

a song about a mouse just heard about this This

46:33

is blowing my mind. Why am I just only

46:35

hearing about this mouth song for the first time Oh Ben

46:37

Ben the mouth It was a joke

46:39

when I really was he just part

46:41

of Jackson 5 or was he Michael Jackson? That's

46:43

what I'm saying. He was a young guy.

46:45

It was still Michael Jackson though It's

46:50

it's not Beyonce, it's Destiny's Child, right

46:52

it's kind of like saying an adult

46:54

Michael Really

46:58

a kid Michael Jackson was singing about a man.

47:00

Did you go? Oh, remember when I'm Paul McCartney

47:02

saying let it be you go Well, that was

47:04

in the Beatles. What's the difference? No Is

47:07

different the Paul McCartney Beatles? Oh Really?

47:10

What's the difference? It's well, John

47:13

Lennon wasn't there and Okay,

47:16

I know Martin

47:18

and but what I'm saying is is that with

47:21

that? Okay. Let me I guess No,

47:24

no, let me finish George Martin. It's a

47:26

Game of Thrones writer I also

47:29

Yeah He's

47:31

been around that All

47:35

right, so go back to The name

47:37

of the Beatles manager, but I could maybe get

47:39

that wrong and I'm just putting Martin because of

47:41

our I think you're right I think all right.

47:43

No, that's so funny about wait. Wait, so You

47:47

get the distinction between Destiny's Child between Something

47:52

about body finishes go

47:54

let her let her go and then you go fucking puts the

47:56

mic in my I don't know the song I really embarrassed

47:58

and everyone's kind of like laughing at me that I didn't

48:00

like. Everyone's singing with him and he's going along and then he

48:02

gets to me and I go, I don't know what to do.

48:04

You know what I would've done? Bah! That's

48:07

right. It just ruined the moment.

48:11

You do some sort of like gas metal thing. Oh gosh, oh,

48:13

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You know what

48:15

I mean? And they would've ruined it. God, is that

48:17

what you would've done, truly? I think I would've done

48:19

that. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way.

48:22

Like, wait, someone is singing a song that everyone

48:24

knows. It would've been worth for him because we

48:27

went to Pache one time for dinner. Bring a

48:29

Pache. Go

48:31

ahead. Oh my God, there's a restaurant down here.

48:33

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Usher was there

48:35

and I was like, oh my God. Was I there? Babe,

48:38

we were there together as a couple. Oh

48:40

yeah. I was like, babe, I was like,

48:42

that's Usher. Usher. And you were like,

48:44

who? Yeah. And I was like, oh, maybe

48:46

I didn't hear me right. I was like, it's Usher. And you look and you're like,

48:48

I don't know who the hell that is. Oh my God. Yeah,

48:50

I got- So ask him the same level of

48:52

fame as Gloria. No, wait, wait, stop, stop,

48:55

stop, stop. Everyone, let's back

48:57

up. Let's back our trucks back

48:59

up, right? And let's stand still

49:01

for a second, okay? Let me say

49:03

something. I was at a, I don't

49:05

wanna say the restaurant because it'll be racial

49:07

if I tell you. But anyway, there

49:10

was music playing at this restaurant. Wait, why?

49:13

Well, I'll just say it and just leave it again. I'll take it out.

49:15

It was- Great.

49:18

What's wrong with that? It's great. They're playing

49:20

Little Wayne's. Okay. Little Wayne.

49:23

Okay, that's not his name. Singular. Little

49:25

Wayne. There's two of them. I

49:28

think you're thinking of two chains

49:30

and Little Wayne. Little Wayne, but

49:32

they also are both fun. And

49:35

I liked it, so I went to the lady

49:37

before I ordered my- Yeah,

49:41

I wonder where you were. I was in

49:43

like somewhere crazy. No, I

49:45

mean like the restaurant that you believe. Oh yeah. Oh

49:47

yeah. I was like, that's good, that's

49:50

good. But you understand now why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Change

49:52

the food item. Yeah, yeah, so I was at, yeah.

49:56

And I go, and I go, who is

49:58

this? She goes, Little, she goes, Little Wayne. And

50:00

I go I Never

50:02

heard of it before and I go I wrote

50:05

it. I was like little what is it? It's

50:07

like you don't know little Wayne and

50:09

I go no and then everyone

50:11

sort of coming out of the place Going

50:14

what the fuck is wrong with it? You're a man Popped

50:18

up, you know I mean and it

50:20

was like I felt embarrassed and I have

50:23

to say something to everyone right now Yeah,

50:25

I want to say something to everyone. All

50:27

right, but I know certain things I know

50:29

Rachmaninoff. Okay, I

50:32

know she'll pan. Okay, I know Then

50:35

let's go on back into like I

50:37

know every Beatles album every Stones album

50:39

every Velvet Underground album every Roxy

50:42

music album every you know,

50:44

like talking heads CBG CBGB

50:47

all the television what what's three white

50:49

stuff Don't

50:51

they call it white stuff that you like Al Green

50:54

No Algreen

51:02

Marvin Gaye, I love

51:05

it. Let's go. You're a man. You like what you

51:07

like in living color, but here's the thing Bobby is

51:09

it Well, that's a bad So

51:15

I then I like you know, I mean Something

51:18

good pixies interval like we've had these people

51:20

we've had people right there anything. Yeah, you like

51:22

great bands And so for me, it's like and

51:24

I you know, I like tribe conquest. I like de

51:26

la so I like you know I mean

51:28

certain kinds of hip-hop I've tried my best

51:31

Alright because I'm from the suburbs and I grew up with a lot of white

51:33

people Wait, I have a quick you

51:35

don't like little Wayne like I never heard of

51:37

it Can you ask him the Destiny's Child question

51:39

again? Yeah, go back to destiny What's the difference

51:41

between like do you see the distinction between Destiny's

51:44

Child and Beyonce? Like

51:46

you think well the first of all, there's a

51:48

different song is a Beyonce song two different art

51:50

group He said go ahead. Keep going, please. Okay.

51:53

So, um, it's a riddle Can

52:00

you tell us about Destiny's Shadow? To

52:02

tell us about your Destiny's Shadow that's being a

52:04

little bit different. That's a riddler. That was a

52:07

bad ship. I don't

52:09

want to cross the rim. I'm good dude. Why

52:12

don't we put that part out? What

52:14

was that? I

52:17

like that. I

52:19

was on a sketch show. I don't know how. I

52:22

was good. I know the guy you are. Well the

52:24

sketch show. I know exactly what you

52:27

thought that was. You know what? You

52:29

come in. That's the main thing. My

52:32

point is this. I've

52:34

never heard of Destiny's Child. Ever? Let

52:38

me finish Destiny's Child. Is

52:40

it a kid? There was a

52:42

woman in Destiny and she had a child. She never really thought

52:44

about it. Because it

52:47

would be Destiny's children. But who are

52:49

the last three members of Destiny's Child? I

52:52

assume Beyonce. Okay,

52:55

but who are the other two? Good guy. I

52:58

know the one that's called Queen

53:00

Latifah. Is that Destiny's

53:02

Child? They're very close.

53:06

They seem like they would be in a cool band

53:08

together. You would not let the two see them together?

53:10

No, it would be amazing. Queen

53:12

Latifah. Who

53:14

else should have that girl from Diane

53:16

Antwerd? She's white. I

53:19

don't know that. Diane

53:21

Antwerd's hip hop too. They're

53:23

a mix of everything. I

53:27

only listen to Taylor Swift. I

53:31

listen to other things, but I listen to

53:33

mainly Taylor Swift. What

53:36

is your real take on tortured poets? I'm

53:39

obsessed with it. I

53:41

love it so much. I

53:43

love whatever she wants to give me. I just savor

53:45

it. I do this with

53:47

every new album. I

53:51

hate new music at first. I

53:53

just don't know it. I want

53:55

to listen to stuff I know. But

53:57

I feel like Midnight's. Right away. But

54:00

this one hit right away from me too. I

54:03

actually felt the same way about Midnight's. It just takes

54:05

like two or three listens to the

54:07

song and sometimes it gets you on the

54:09

first song. I go through and I rank them as soon as

54:11

I listen to them so I can go back and look at

54:14

like, did you know that this was going to be your favorite

54:16

song even back then? And I do

54:18

kind of go over Taylor Swift anything because I keep

54:20

bringing it up. Oh my God. Nothing outrageous and more.

54:22

Are you pooing? Are you going through your Taylor Swift

54:24

hand trim? I don't know how to do that

54:26

post she's doing, but I've tried to do it so many times. It's really

54:29

hard to nail. Yeah, my real, my, how do

54:31

you feel about it? I love Taylor Swift.

54:33

Yeah. Um, I, I haven't latched

54:35

on in the same way that I did. Um,

54:37

at night there are a couple songs where I'm

54:39

like, Ooh, juicy, love this. Yes. Hits, but like

54:41

not like back to back to back. Yeah. I

54:44

think it might, it might take

54:46

longer, but it's that's what I always feel about

54:48

her songs is like, there are some

54:50

songs that I still haven't gotten to from her like

54:53

that. I haven't been enough time with that. I would

54:55

go like she's written like 500 songs. Like there's some

54:58

songs that as a super fan, I like

55:00

haven't gotten to because I'm not ready for them in

55:02

my heart. Like I'm not going through what she's going

55:04

through with those songs or whatever. Like I know some

55:06

on this album I'm not into right now and haven't

55:08

listened more than a handful of times.

55:10

And I'm just like, not for me, but I'm

55:12

like someday it will be because I'm just not

55:14

going through. As you said, she went to the

55:16

Taylor Swift show with you and she's like, there's

55:18

no one better to go to Taylor Swift show.

55:20

It was to give you the background of every

55:22

song. Yeah. It's an exciting, I've been to 12

55:24

shows. That was so fast. I

55:27

do that too. I do that too. Do

55:30

you eat a lot of roughage? Are you like, do you eat well?

55:32

What's a roughage? Green. I like it. I try

55:34

to eat a lot of vegetables as I can.

55:37

You're a boy band. I'm a boy band. Are

55:39

we done with that? Yes. Are

55:41

you serious? Are you fucking being

55:43

serious right now? Coming onto my

55:45

show. I'm talking about this fucking

55:47

hypocrisy. Can I, can I, I just want

55:50

to use that word. Yeah. Yeah. Of it all.

55:52

You know, let

55:55

me see something to go about. She's

55:57

the top of her game. Okay. When

56:00

I dated that girl, I love

56:02

her. I miss her, all right? I miss her. I

56:05

miss her for you. Bring her back. I miss her.

56:07

Bring her back. What's the matter? Two. All

56:10

right, I dated a girl, I miss her, right? But she lives in a different

56:12

state. I wanted them to work out

56:14

because I liked her. All right, but anyway, all

56:16

she talked about was Taylor Swift, 24 seven.

56:19

I go, do you know anything else? She goes,

56:21

that's all everything. And now I realize you're one

56:23

of them too. I am. And

56:26

now I realize that you and I can

56:28

only get so close. No, that's

56:30

not true at all. We can only get so

56:33

close because you have a barrier. It's like you

56:35

have a barrier. Yeah, it's like somebody saying that,

56:37

oh yeah, I'm into fucking, you know, Satan worshiping.

56:39

It's like, I can't get that close to you. I

56:41

get it. Like I

56:44

understand that it might feel like a block for you

56:46

at this point, but I promise that I keep it

56:48

in check and I will not, I don't, I want

56:50

everyone to become a Swifty. So I'm never going to

56:52

like, I'm one of these like, I'm

56:55

a Christian who doesn't like make you feel judged about it.

56:58

You know what I mean? I know you're going

57:00

to hell and they kind of just, they know it in

57:02

their hearts. It's like that scene in Seinfeld with putty where

57:04

he's like, sorry, babe, it's going to be rough. You're

57:06

a Christian. He's

57:08

evangelical about Taylor Swift. Like

57:10

a vegan that's not true. I've seen some of your shit. I

57:12

don't think you're a Christian. I'm a vegan. No, I'm not

57:14

a Christian thing. I'm like a Christian. You think some crazy

57:16

thing. And it's another metaphor I guess. His

57:20

loss and metaphors are lost on him. That's

57:22

not true. I love metaphors. Do

57:24

one. Swiftieism is like Christianity in that

57:27

I, some people preach it too much and turn

57:29

people off and make people go, I hate them.

57:31

And some people are just like, I'm just

57:33

going to like, I bought the album 1984. Is

57:35

that what it's called? No. Plus five.

57:37

Plus five? Yeah. 1989,

57:40

1989. Close enough. You

57:42

guys just say, baby. I'll tell you what,

57:44

I'll tell you what. He loves that album. I love

57:46

that album. Yeah. Cause you like Taylor Swiftie.

57:48

That's not why. That's not why. Why?

57:52

I love Ryan Adams. Did

57:54

the, I'm an album called 1989 and I had listened

57:56

to his first. I go, this is a pretty good

57:58

album. But then I realized it was. It

58:00

was it was her album that he

58:02

redid from beginning to end. So then

58:05

I re-listened to that album and I go, oh, I

58:07

guess I like her. You do

58:09

like her and I could make a mix that would make

58:11

you go, oh my God, I don't think so. I

58:14

could go, Bobby, what are you going through right now? What

58:16

kind of music do you like and what are you going

58:18

through right now? And I would make you a fucking at

58:20

least a 10 song playlist that would, half

58:23

of it would hit good. If I go,

58:25

Bobby, what kind of music are you listening to in your

58:27

life? If I'm like trying to tap into like what you're

58:29

going through, what kind of music you need to, if you

58:31

listen to, you sound like you've been listening to music to

58:33

get through shit. This is the first song on

58:36

the My Bloody Valentine album Loveless.

58:38

And then listen to a Taylor Swift song. It's almost

58:40

something you're a kid from Planet. No, it's not.

58:42

Yes, it is. You have no idea

58:45

what you're talking about again. I literally do. In fact, you

58:47

know what, you and I are separating now. No, I would

58:49

love to. We're like, we used to be like this and

58:51

now we're like this forever. Why can't both of our

58:53

songs be cool and amazing and

58:55

elite? Listen, let me ask

58:58

you some questions. You and I, listen,

59:00

you probably haven't even seen the things I've seen.

59:02

I've never seen the things you've seen. Are you

59:04

guys like super like anti pop in general? Like

59:06

you've always been right. What does pop

59:08

mean to you? Popular. Exactly. I don't like

59:10

popular. Why? You are

59:13

popular, Bobby. I'm not. No, I'm

59:15

punk. You

59:17

are kind of underground. No,

59:19

I try. You're pop punk. It's a thing. OK.

59:22

I maybe I'm a little pop punk. I love that for you. You're

59:25

really your voice now. No,

59:28

that was sincere, but I get it. I get it. Your

59:30

way of showing affection. It's

59:34

weird. All right. Feeling with them. What I want to say

59:36

to you is that I'm willing to learn because I don't

59:38

want to be the grumpy old man. Yes. So

59:41

here's here's what I want to

59:43

put in my notes. I'm going

59:45

to put in my notes and I'm

59:47

going to I'm going to write down three albums. You're going to tell

59:49

me to listen to. And I swear to

59:51

God, I'm going to listen to them in the next

59:53

three days. OK, I'm going to

59:56

make a play. I'm going to make a note. Oh, you want to

59:58

do that instead? I would like to curate a. Are

1:00:00

you really think I'm gonna you collab with

1:00:02

me because I know what will hit him.

1:00:04

Oh, absolutely. Of course I'm being real I

1:00:06

will listen to from beginning to end what we've

1:00:08

been talking about just now for the last 10

1:00:10

minutes is that I was put Into the friend

1:00:12

zone by somebody and I really hurt my feelings

1:00:15

and it was weird and Nikki your overall

1:00:17

assessment is cold-hearted snake or no

1:00:19

Yeah Just you

1:00:22

know someone who's not well and

1:00:25

you should she is a sweet girl She doesn't

1:00:27

know what she wants and it's confusing and

1:00:29

it's and that there's one moment

1:00:32

in that story that made me just decide

1:00:34

She's kind of you. She's out to lunch

1:00:36

a little bit. Mmm. I get it.

1:00:38

Yeah, go ahead lady X

1:00:41

my love X my love

1:00:43

what's up? You

1:00:46

can be a sweet girl and have certain

1:00:50

motives and Those two things

1:00:52

can be true. I just hope that

1:00:55

Now between Nikki and I telling you

1:00:57

these things that I'm Gilbert and George

1:00:59

that you're at least on to her

1:01:02

But you know what? Yeah, yeah, I'm on

1:01:04

to it Thank you. I don't want you to

1:01:06

be heartbroken at the end of my heartbroken obvious

1:01:09

he falls really There

1:01:17

was some of the story that I kind of sense he was

1:01:19

starting to actually really have feelings for this person so I Break

1:01:23

I hope you do you have the ick for

1:01:25

her? No, is there so

1:01:27

yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't have the ick for

1:01:29

anybody really And

1:01:32

I know that it's like a so over

1:01:35

Like talked about at this point the ick and

1:01:37

girls having it But it is a real

1:01:39

thing and men don't have it for women who doesn't

1:01:41

way He hooked up with a girl that looked like

1:01:44

Jim Belushi and she was the greatest sex ever.

1:01:46

Yeah. Yeah, there we go Yeah, my boyfriend says that

1:01:48

he's hooked up with some girls before and he's like,

1:01:50

you know what John Belushi Wanted it

1:01:52

bad enough different class my

1:01:55

boyfriend hooked up with girls that are maybe less attractive than

1:01:57

that usually he would be attracted to but he's

1:01:59

like she just I wanted it so bad I just had to like

1:02:01

give it to her. It's sort of a work. Can

1:02:03

I, can I give you, Bobby, on a John

1:02:06

Belushi front, can I make a really wild confession

1:02:08

that's gonna piss you the fuck off? I

1:02:10

wrote down, this is a truth number, I texted

1:02:12

you about Dan Aykroyd the other day, and

1:02:15

I asked him where he was. I

1:02:18

don't know the difference, and this is

1:02:20

gonna really piss everyone off, between John

1:02:22

Belushi, John Candy, Dan Aykroyd, and John Goodman.

1:02:24

Who said that? I don't know the

1:02:26

difference. Yeah, you do know the difference. I do not. I

1:02:29

do not. Dan Candy is the clearest

1:02:31

one for me, but the rest is all

1:02:33

jumbled up in my head. Why, because they're

1:02:35

fat guys? No, no, it's just the time

1:02:37

that they came out when I was a

1:02:39

kid in the Philippines, big white guy, they

1:02:41

were all the same to me. Oh,

1:02:43

really? Dan Aykroyd wasn't a big white

1:02:45

guy. But he did. Later,

1:02:47

in his 60s. Yeah. You

1:02:50

know what I mean? But back in the day when he

1:02:52

did like Blue's Brothers, he was the skinny guy, and

1:02:54

John Belushi was the fat guy. But you could tell

1:02:56

me Blue's Brothers and then Uncle Buck, and I'd be

1:02:58

like, same guy, like

1:03:01

I honestly don't know this. I'm so excited.

1:03:03

I know what you're doing, George. I totally relate. I

1:03:05

know. I know. I

1:03:07

didn't watch John Candy stuff. I didn't watch Belushi

1:03:09

stuff. So those, I can see

1:03:11

how all of those, who was the fourth one? Acroid? Acroid.

1:03:15

And John Goodman. John Goodman. This is

1:03:17

something I'm so deeply ashamed about that

1:03:19

I actually took the time over the

1:03:22

weekend to like, to watch

1:03:24

all of this. Yeah. I went back

1:03:26

and I'm like, oh, these are their differences. Because when you're

1:03:28

a kid, you just kind of don't think about these things.

1:03:30

Yeah. No, I have the same

1:03:32

kind of things where I have gaps in my knowledge.

1:03:34

But it's just because you didn't know, like, you can't,

1:03:36

when people are like, you've never,

1:03:39

you don't know what a Furby is? Or like,

1:03:41

we like yell at like young kids about like,

1:03:43

you've never seen the Goonies? And

1:03:45

it's like, no, they weren't. They were 10

1:03:47

in 1992. You're right. You're right. You're

1:03:50

right. Why would they see the Goonies shut up? You're just mad they're

1:03:52

young and you have to find some other way to get your aggressive.

1:03:54

Well, at first I was like, you know, I like,

1:03:56

you know, I've given it women that were like, maybe

1:03:58

I'm 52. and there are 32. Yeah.

1:04:02

Right, and they're like, yeah, I've never seen a Star Wars.

1:04:04

And in the beginning I was like, what?

1:04:06

You're like, I'm losing my mind. Yeah.

1:04:09

And now as time goes on, you're like, it's big deal. It's

1:04:11

like, I haven't seen like a lot of things that

1:04:13

you guys seen like me. In Silence or

1:04:23

in Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne. Lil

1:04:25

Wayne. You miss out on things and you

1:04:27

can't be. Glorious Child. Oh

1:04:30

no, no, what's it called? Tester.

1:04:32

Tester Child. And Gloria

1:04:34

Estefan. I put both of them in

1:04:36

the chorus. That'd be

1:04:39

a cool band name. Glorious Child. Glorious Child. But

1:04:41

I don't think you should be hard on people.

1:04:44

I'm not anymore. In the same way that, you

1:04:46

know how hard it was for me to even admit that

1:04:48

I didn't know the big

1:04:50

white men different. Yeah. But

1:04:52

it's okay to not know what you don't know because you don't know it.

1:04:54

I'm gonna ask Nikki. You didn't choose to not know it. Nikki, I'm gonna

1:04:56

ask you some questions. If we were

1:04:58

on a date and this is stuff that I really

1:05:01

need someone to know. He's ick. So

1:05:03

these are my icks. This is my ick. Is

1:05:05

like someone who's like, I'm not gonna chill with you.

1:05:09

You haven't seen waves of this lost shark in

1:05:11

this. But we can't ever see

1:05:13

anything. So let's, I'm

1:05:15

driving. Okay. Right. And

1:05:17

you're next to me. We're in Europe. That's why

1:05:19

I'm on this side. A boat. Yeah, no, because

1:05:22

I'm on the right side. Okay, okay, okay, yeah.

1:05:24

Hello, bonjour. I go, I go. I

1:05:26

would ask you like, what's

1:05:28

your favorite Scorsese film?

1:05:31

Like, be you watching. The Departed. That

1:05:33

is what I would say. But I would say you, me

1:05:36

saying that is saying very little because it's

1:05:38

like one of, maybe one

1:05:40

I've seen. All right.

1:05:42

I happen to think it's amazing, but I don't really

1:05:44

like violence in film. And so I went to see

1:05:46

that against my will and I loved it. And I,

1:05:48

oh my God, I'm missing out on so many things

1:05:50

because I don't like watching violent things. But I don't,

1:05:53

I can't watch the Sopranos. I can't watch Breaking Bad.

1:05:55

I don't like violence and jump scares. So I miss

1:05:57

out on so many things that I know are the

1:05:59

best things ever. I think my problem is

1:06:01

this is is that I'll ask them questions like

1:06:03

a test and I don't think I should do

1:06:05

that like I'll go I'll go I'll go I'll

1:06:08

look at it go What's

1:06:10

your favorite? Um, Kubrick? Oh Answer

1:06:14

it Kubrick. Yeah, I don't have one

1:06:17

because I've never seen one, but I know to that space

1:06:19

Odyssey. Oh, No, I know

1:06:21

who Kubrick Stanley Kubrick is. Yeah, but I've never

1:06:23

and I know I'd love his films because I'm

1:06:25

a smart person Who likes good stuff? I've just

1:06:27

never seen it. What if that was my answer?

1:06:29

Can we still continue the state? Yeah, but

1:06:31

that already would be a check mark because you're aware

1:06:34

of it. What if I miss yeah, like I've had

1:06:36

like you Know I said I don't play the Kubrick's

1:06:38

cube Game

1:06:42

what are you talking about? Right? I But

1:06:45

they wouldn't know what that is, right, right Well, you match

1:06:47

the colors I go no that's called Rubik's and my

1:06:50

point is is this is again at least you right

1:06:52

are aware You

1:06:54

just didn't freak out when they have a movie But you should

1:06:56

be like are you open to it and have you at least

1:06:58

heard of him because I do agree with you Like I

1:07:00

know I can fill it a crossword puzzle I

1:07:03

don't know half any detail about half the things

1:07:05

I'm talking about But I just know I'm paying

1:07:07

attention to things you miss it, but

1:07:09

you have you can't point any fingers with that

1:07:11

You don't know who Gloria Estevan is but now

1:07:13

I'm not I'm and Destiny's Child

1:07:15

Like you're not paying attention either to some

1:07:17

things I know and if I don't

1:07:20

know those things that is important to somebody that it wouldn't

1:07:22

work out That's what I'm saying. No, but you could just

1:07:24

I could go well you should Here's

1:07:26

some things watch it with

1:07:28

me. Yeah, I'm willing to learn and

1:07:31

then watch her the whole time Wait,

1:07:33

that's exactly what he does Like

1:07:35

if he wants you to watch something like

1:07:37

the West Wing six seasons of it was

1:07:39

not it was watching me watch West Wing

1:07:41

Oh my god. Oh, that's cute It

1:07:44

is like when I bring my friends to Taylor Swift concerts, and

1:07:47

I'm just like Like

1:07:49

Esther the whole time like I'm checking it are you

1:07:51

like Jerry still in Nicky you're looking around and you

1:07:53

see who else is cheering Right yeah, 12 year

1:07:56

old girls I've

1:08:00

seen it. Yeah, it is I've

1:08:03

been to 12 shows and it's

1:08:06

like 70% adult women correct. No,

1:08:08

there's no way dude I've

1:08:11

seen it online. I see little girl.

1:08:13

Yeah, because she has all of the generation. I may

1:08:16

say 60% I'll change it to 60

1:08:18

because I don't know what does a little kid relate to

1:08:20

that you can relate to um being

1:08:22

alive feeling unbridled feeling connected to

1:08:26

The just another frequency the one that

1:08:28

you're connected to when you're a kid and you have

1:08:30

more emotions and you're not as like Like

1:08:33

kids like it doesn't mean

1:08:35

it's dumb. It's just it sounds good and

1:08:37

it makes you feel alive I'm so when

1:08:39

you're younger, you're really just looking for something

1:08:41

like a good melody and Fun

1:08:44

men catchy and she has that but

1:08:46

then for us older girls. She has

1:08:48

the lyrics No Something

1:08:51

for everyone. Yeah, I mean them.

1:08:54

I'm I'm in the everything every

1:08:56

yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yes,

1:08:59

yeah, seems you all wait you do

1:09:01

not want those things. No Life

1:09:04

is good. Life is painful. It's hard. Yeah

1:09:07

in the ditch. Let's dig out in the dead What

1:09:09

song is like you a song you really

1:09:11

like is your song that you're like, this

1:09:13

is so oh I could do Pale

1:09:16

blue eyes. Oh my god, the

1:09:18

velvet underground is one of my really yeah. Yeah

1:09:21

lyrics I Want

1:09:24

to I want to know my Bobby. Yeah What

1:09:26

is that those lyrics and we were breaking up like

1:09:28

rang very true for me. Yeah, yeah

1:09:31

Sometimes I feel so happy sometimes I feel so sad sometimes

1:09:33

I feel so happy but mostly you just make me mad

1:09:36

Baby, you just make me mad linger on your

1:09:38

pale blue eyes Thought of

1:09:40

you as my mountaintop thought of you as my

1:09:42

peak thought of you as everything I've had but

1:09:44

couldn't keep. Oh fuck. I'm like

1:09:46

getting teary. Yeah. Yeah, Lou Ria was

1:09:48

a great lyric very kind of Taylor Swift,

1:09:51

isn't it? Yeah It's not

1:09:53

a Taylor Swift the other Make

1:09:57

the world better and range is what I

1:09:59

see I put you in the mirror, I put in front of me.

1:10:01

I mean, that is so good. It's so good. It

1:10:03

is. Well, this is in the

1:10:05

60s, so she basically is homage to... Yeah, I mean, she

1:10:07

definitely is a fan. That's the thing, she's influenced

1:10:09

by all the people you listed, but this is

1:10:11

so beautiful. The reason why I like the Velo in

1:10:13

Underground is because, you know, at that time in the late 60s,

1:10:16

they had the whole hippie... Whoa, the end of this.

1:10:18

It was good what we did yesterday, and I do it

1:10:20

once again. The fact that you are married only proves you're

1:10:22

my best friend, but it's truly, truly a sin. Yeah.

1:10:25

Oh, no. All right, okay, enough. So

1:10:28

they're not together in the song? No, no. Dude,

1:10:31

I love a song where they're not

1:10:33

together. It's my favorite kind of song.

1:10:35

I never listen to the song in this way. You know,

1:10:37

when you listen to the song, you don't hear the lyrics.

1:10:39

I'm like, oh, this is fucking good. I

1:10:42

love any kind of story where they don't end

1:10:44

up. Yeah. So, yeah,

1:10:46

so listen, I think you've convinced me. I'm going

1:10:48

to open my heart. So do the playlist. Okay.

1:10:52

And Nicki has the HBO special coming out. When does

1:10:54

this come out? This week? Saturday,

1:10:57

May 11th. So this, when you're listening

1:10:59

to this right now, it's the

1:11:01

Saturday. Yeah. And listen

1:11:03

to my new single, Someday You'll Die

1:11:05

on Spotify. That is the title track

1:11:07

of this. I feel like that's very

1:11:09

Lou Reed, my title. Thank you. Oh,

1:11:12

that's awesome. Yeah, it's

1:11:15

the first song I ever wrote.

1:11:17

But I have to say something about you two ladies, and

1:11:20

it's a compliment. May I say something?

1:11:22

And before we leave? Yeah. Why

1:11:24

are you laughing? Okay. I'm sorry. And

1:11:27

I really mean this. And I'm going to try

1:11:29

to be, I'm going to take the comedy out of it. Right.

1:11:32

And I want to try to be real. Okay. Right.

1:11:35

You guys are terrible people. No, I'm kidding. No, I want

1:11:38

to be real, right? Okay. I

1:11:40

think that you guys, for

1:11:42

me, right, are the,

1:11:45

like, you guys are rarer, a breed

1:11:48

of people. I mean, you guys have all the

1:11:50

things that I am bought, like, I look for

1:11:52

when I look for a partner. Like,

1:11:55

looks, coolness, you know

1:11:57

what I mean? You know what I mean? You're

1:12:00

both are very funny. I think she's very funny. You know, I mean

1:12:03

also I don't

1:12:05

know if you're foodie. Are you foodie? I mean,

1:12:07

who wouldn't be right? So like

1:12:09

I like you you I want a girl where

1:12:11

I'm gonna go hey that can turn me on

1:12:13

to a restaurant She's done that many

1:12:15

many times. Oh really turn me on to Film

1:12:18

and music different thing. Yes, you I feel like you're

1:12:20

the same way you guys and you guys are a

1:12:22

breed That's there's not a lot of people out there

1:12:24

because I know I've been out there in the imagine

1:12:27

being an ex and hearing your Ex

1:12:29

say I want to be with a

1:12:31

girl like you but not you But

1:12:33

can I ask what is the why then why aren't you

1:12:35

together? No,

1:12:39

I know I'll tell you why I don't

1:12:42

know your life is the song

1:12:44

pale blue eyes. Yeah, it's too late now Upcoming

1:12:49

shows that he has I have so many Special

1:12:53

comes out it streaming an HBO

1:12:55

right now go or on Saturday,

1:12:57

I guess But right now if you listen to

1:12:59

this later and then you already have another hour to go on

1:13:01

the road with I

1:13:04

mean, it's not perfect, but it's gonna be

1:13:06

so fun to it. There's enough stuff I've

1:13:08

left on the table that was perfect that

1:13:10

didn't go in the special that is ready

1:13:12

to like kid bolster the stuff That's new

1:13:14

and stuff. That's new. It's like wow. I'm

1:13:16

churning Wow It's not and

1:13:18

it's you know, it's it by the

1:13:21

first date Where am I the Venetian

1:13:23

with David Spade made 17th and 18th? Which

1:13:25

is an amazing show to go to it in Vegas

1:13:28

if you want to plan a last-minute trip That is

1:13:30

incredible, but that show will be very different than you

1:13:32

and I go I can't fucking come out Oh,

1:13:34

I want to come out and I want will I

1:13:36

get tickets? I

1:13:39

don't want to I don't know but we don't I want

1:13:42

to hang out though I want to I've always wanted to

1:13:44

go there love it You know me and not do a

1:13:46

show and watch my friend show and

1:13:48

then maybe having a dinner or something I

1:13:50

mean, yes, we love let's close the loop on

1:13:52

David Spade I don't say this morning when I was

1:13:54

like having that panic attack before Stern I was like

1:13:56

I need to call myself and I was like I

1:13:59

need to give them like What kind

1:14:01

of Stern interview do I want to have? What's ideal

1:14:03

world? And I was like, put on a Spade best

1:14:05

of Stern. You ever, Spade

1:14:08

is not only such a good friend, so generous, all

1:14:10

the things you were saying before, remarkable,

1:14:12

but he, if you are

1:14:14

bored, you've just done

1:14:16

all the things on YouTube you could ever think to do, put

1:14:19

on a compilation of David Spade on the couches

1:14:22

of Stern or Ellen, just do

1:14:24

it any, Fallon, and it's

1:14:26

a home run. You'll be laughing your ass off. He

1:14:28

does the best, he's so good. And so I was

1:14:30

watching him Stern just like, yeah,

1:14:32

he just calmed me, he's so good. He has an

1:14:35

effortless way of performing too. Even

1:14:37

when he's doing new stuff, he's just like

1:14:39

so conversational, effortless. He's just so fun to

1:14:42

watch. Anyway, Nicky's on tour, watch

1:14:44

the HBOs, we love her, how many times have you

1:14:47

done this podcast so far? I think this is the

1:14:49

third. Third, right? Yeah. Yeah, so you

1:14:51

know, we don't really have a lot of repeats. Really?

1:14:54

Yeah, yeah. We've had maybe Whitney, Eric Griffin, who

1:14:56

else? Theo. Rick.

1:14:59

Rick too, yeah. And you, but it's

1:15:01

like. Well, that means so much to me. But we have,

1:15:03

you know, we have, you know, we have had a lot

1:15:05

of one offs, and like, Phil Burroughs done it, what, three

1:15:07

times? Three times, yeah. We start doing jackets for people, because

1:15:09

a lot. Maybe, yeah, so if you do it the fourth

1:15:11

time we get a jacket. Oh, we should start doing it.

1:15:13

Yeah, we should do that. Oh, God. We have

1:15:15

four, yeah, four minutes. I will work on something to promote

1:15:18

over here. No, but you're always

1:15:20

invited, we always love you, and you know, and

1:15:22

you know, I honestly like, I

1:15:25

hate giving compliments, but you,

1:15:27

I just, I can't think of anything

1:15:30

wrong with you. I prize for

1:15:32

you. And it bothers me. Read the comments on

1:15:34

the future video. I know. Try your

1:15:37

best right now. No, in terms of, there's, I think, I

1:15:39

think the only thing I could say, if I was gonna say something

1:15:41

like that. I don't wanna hear it. Now

1:15:44

I need to know. Let me do it. Now you, I'm talking to

1:15:47

someone, and I go, yeah, you know what her problem is though? But

1:15:49

Nikki's great. No, but the problem is,

1:15:51

I don't trust her, because everyone likes her. Oh,

1:15:53

yeah. You know what I mean? But T, that's

1:15:56

weird. That's the only thing I would say.

1:15:58

But that's, that's, you're being nice. I'm sure. I'm sure

1:16:00

you could come up with something and I'm sure someone will

1:16:02

say something at some point. Your teeth are so

1:16:04

white. I have some crests white. Oh they're

1:16:06

perfect. I hate you. I don't know what else. There's nothing else

1:16:08

to say really. I can't say anything

1:16:10

negative about you or Natasha Legero I don't think.

1:16:13

Oh isn't she a doll? Yeah she's a doll. The

1:16:15

nicest. And so like her act makes her, like

1:16:17

when I used to just be a fan of hers, I used

1:16:19

to think, oh my god she's gonna be like, what are you

1:16:21

doing doll? What are you wearing doll? Like

1:16:24

is that like, but she is

1:16:26

the opposite of that character even though she is that

1:16:28

character. It's like she is just the best. Yeah.

1:16:30

Who else is like someone that you just can't say

1:16:32

anything? Let me try to find a guy that's

1:16:34

like that. I

1:16:36

know one guy, the guy I said the other day. Nicest

1:16:42

guy. Yeah I can't think of anything

1:16:44

wrong with him really. Well we can

1:16:46

talk out there. No I'm not kidding.

1:16:48

I really, I really, no. I could say one thing. I

1:16:52

mean. Well

1:16:54

Bobby that's my, what you just

1:16:56

said is my fear of what people say

1:16:58

about me. Never. Never. Not

1:17:01

just never. I'll tell you why I know you're

1:17:03

a beast right? You make me laugh but not

1:17:05

only that. You

1:17:07

follow heavyweights. I

1:17:10

do? At the comedy show you always

1:17:12

later or something. You pop it, you don't care what

1:17:14

the lineup is. No I want to follow heavyweights

1:17:16

because the crowd is like, we're all just like,

1:17:19

what the hell? You're a fucking heavyweight

1:17:21

man. What are you talking about? Well. Well.

1:17:23

Anyway let's move on. No I don't love following you though

1:17:26

Bobby. No one does. I

1:17:29

love you so much. Give Nicky Glazer a round of applause.