0:00

Time for a quick break to talk about

0:02

McDonald's. Mornings are for mixing and matching at

0:04

McDonald's. For just $3, mix and match two

0:07

of your favorite breakfast items, including a

0:09

sausage McMuffin. What

0:26

do you know about coconuts? Other

0:28

than that, they are delicious. I

0:30

love coconuts. They're in some of

0:32

my favorite candy bars, Almond Joy, Mounds.

0:35

They're in some of my favorite candies,

0:37

dark chocolate coconut haystacks, chocolate dip coconut

0:39

macaroons. I love coconut cream pie.

0:41

I really love German

0:43

chocolate cake. Probably my favorite cake. Raspberry

0:46

Zingers are one of my old

0:48

favorite gas station treats. Coconut Samoas,

0:50

they're my favorite Girl Scout cookies. I could

0:52

keep going, you know, coconut milk and a

0:55

latte, coconut milk, ice cream, big fan of

0:57

coconuts. Odds are you probably

0:59

at least enjoy them in some form as well. If

1:01

you've been on a tropical vacation recently, you might've

1:04

had one cleaved in half with a machete to

1:06

access that cool milk inside, or

1:08

maybe you had a tropical cocktail nestled in

1:10

nature's cup. I love myself a

1:12

pina colada on vacation, or maybe

1:14

you enjoy them from afar. You might

1:16

think of coconut bras, hail Lucifina, or of

1:19

coconut oil, the latter being very popular these

1:21

days for everything from cooking to skin care.

1:23

Or you might think of Gilligan's Island type

1:25

gags in which coconuts fall on people's heads.

1:28

And in that vein, you might think of deserted

1:30

islands, of stories of shipwrecks and

1:32

mutiny, of men who would face their certain

1:34

doom if it weren't for the coconut that

1:36

sustains them long enough to get off the

1:39

island. And in that respect, you

1:41

would be close to the narrative of today's story.

1:43

When August Engelhardt was born in Germany in 1877, probably

1:45

nobody expected that the man born

1:53

and raised so far from any tropical

1:55

island would live a large portion of

1:57

his life in German, colonial

2:00

possessions in the Pacific. And

2:02

if they did, they probably would have thought that

2:04

he would have gone there to be a merchant

2:06

or a tradesman, some government official,

2:09

one of the valiant few who sailed

2:11

the southern seas to enrich Germany's colonial

2:13

empire, an empire that had started comparatively

2:16

late to other European empires and was

2:18

trying to catch up as the 20th

2:20

century dawned. But August Engelhardt

2:22

would not go to the Pacific as a

2:24

tradesman, as a diplomat, or even

2:27

as a government official or Christian missionary.

2:29

He went as a coconut fanatic,

2:33

a true a coconut. As

2:35

a young man, Engelhardt had been studying chemistry

2:37

in order to become a pharmacist. And he

2:40

came upon the concept of coca warism, eating

2:43

only coca nuts, like forever.

2:46

You heard me right. He thought it would actually be a good

2:48

idea to eat nothing but

2:50

coca nuts for the rest of his life.

2:54

He thought doing that would greatly extend his life and

2:56

improve its quality. Involved in

2:58

the Liebensform movement, German for life reform,

3:00

a series of groups that advocated for

3:02

better living to exercise, natural

3:04

therapies and spending time in nature,

3:06

he quickly became interested in how

3:09

diet could change your life dramatically.

3:12

And he felt that miraculous health benefits

3:14

were possible to the mysterious and godly

3:17

tropical fruit. Truly miraculous.

3:19

He believed that perhaps not only was the coconut good

3:21

for your diet, but it was good for your

3:23

soul as well. It was ordained by

3:26

God to be so. Because if

3:28

you looked at it one way, didn't the coconut,

3:30

the meat, the milk, the

3:32

shell, kind of sort of resemble the

3:34

holy trinity of the father, the son and the

3:36

holy spirit? If heaven was above us,

3:39

didn't that mean that the coconut pretty tall tree

3:41

seemingly reaching up to the heavens was

3:43

closest to God's kingdom? Engelhardt

3:45

thought so. He thought a lot of things. And

3:48

he would quickly take his obsession all the

3:50

way to German New Guinea to the remote

3:52

outpost of Herbató, where he bought a

3:54

coconut plantation and planned for his followers, whom he

3:56

hoped to attract with his writings to come join

3:58

him in his coconut paradise. He

4:00

called his group the Son of Norden, which

4:02

translates to Brotherhood of the Son or Order

4:05

of the Son. While

4:07

he felt the coconuts were the food of the gods,

4:09

he felt that the sun gave us power from God.

4:12

Coconuts nourished the body in the most godly way

4:14

and the sun nourished the mind in the

4:17

most godly way. Today's

4:19

episode is so delightfully coconuts.

4:24

Reminiscent of an extended version of our old wackadoodle

4:26

of the week secret suck segment for any space

4:28

lizards listening, it's a doozy. Get

4:30

ready to go on a journey from the German Empire

4:32

to the popular and very odd sanatoriums

4:34

of the late 19th and early 20th

4:37

centuries with their ridiculous miracle cures that

4:40

ran the gamut from idiotic to downright terrifying

4:42

all the way to Herberto and

4:44

the small plantation island of Kabakon

4:47

where August Engelhardt would live out

4:49

his strange, strange days. Engelhardt's

4:51

true coconuts and the strange commune he

4:54

founded in Papua New Guinea that many

4:56

have called a cult, his brotherhood of

4:58

the sun, his son and norden right

5:00

now on a very strange

5:02

and delicious edition of Time

5:04

Suck. Happy

5:22

Monday and welcome to the Cult of the

5:24

Curious. I'm Dan Cummins, the suck master, true

5:26

crime prankster. Jim Baker watched

5:28

up, don't buy anything that that

5:31

grifter is selling and you are definitely listening to

5:33

Time Suck. Hale Nimrod, Hale

5:35

Lucifina, Praise Bead, Good Boy Bojangles and

5:37

Glory Bead, Triple M, Freeman

5:39

Curious, Lindsay and I did watch that

5:41

2021 film, The Eyes of Tammy Faye

5:43

after last week's recording like I mentioned,

5:47

as good as advertised. My god

5:49

Jessica Chastain is a brilliant actress.

5:52

She became Tammy Faye for that film and

5:55

right or wrong I ended up liking Tammy Faye even more. movie

6:00

I know, but I'm gonna hold on to

6:02

the belief that she was the sweetest of souls who just

6:04

wanted everyone to feel loved and taken care of and

6:07

her picker was

6:09

off and she ended up with

6:11

a con artist of Jim Baker. He's

6:14

a phonies comeback. One quick and

6:16

kind announcement and then boy oh boy do I have

6:18

an odd tale for you. Love a weird

6:20

tale. This month the day

6:22

after this episode drops on April 23rd we

6:24

celebrate World Book Day as a

6:26

lover of knowledge and also escapism and

6:29

in honor of World Book Day this month's

6:31

Patreon donation will be going to First Book

6:33

a nonprofit working to inspire young minds through

6:36

books. Thank you Space Losers. They

6:38

believe that books are a critical resource for kids

6:40

but they can be scarce for those who are

6:43

disadvantaged. In fact First Book has

6:45

discovered book deserts in certain

6:47

low-income communities, places where there might be

6:49

just one book shared amongst

6:51

up to up to 830 kids for example.

6:55

If books have helped you escape hard times

6:57

providing you with entertainment, education or enlightenment then

7:00

you know just how important books are and we donated

7:02

$12,950 to First Book. If you want to learn

7:06

more about this wonderful organization you can

7:09

visit firstbook.org and

7:11

now let's head to a story that is

7:13

so just deliciously weird. Hail Nimrod

7:16

you know I love weird. Today's topic

7:18

is so weird so esoteric and little-known there's

7:20

only been a handful of books and articles that have ever

7:22

been written about it. At least you

7:24

can easily access here in the States. There's

7:27

a very practical reason for that. Most

7:29

of the documents about August Engelhardt's life are

7:31

either in New Guinea or nearby

7:33

New Zealand or Australia which is relatively hard to

7:35

access for most of the world or

7:37

because and they're not online they haven't been digitized and

7:40

those documents many of them were destroyed when Germany

7:43

was beaten in two world wars. Also

7:46

there has not been as much interest in this story

7:48

as there have been in many traditional cults due to

7:50

the fact that Son of Norden wasn't

7:52

actually a cult. I

7:55

think it was a it was trying to be

7:57

a cult. It was a the gestation period never

7:59

led to the full cult. I

8:01

think August Engelhardt would have been a cult leader. He

8:04

definitely attracted followers, convinced him to move halfway across the

8:06

world, live a radically different life, but

8:08

he was never a true cult

8:10

leader, never pressured people

8:13

outside of his emotional pressure like not any cult

8:15

leader type way to stay. Definitely a wackadoodle. August

8:18

Engelhardt certainly fashioned himself as a

8:20

visionary, a prophet, prophet of coconuts,

8:23

that's crazy as that sounds, leader of

8:25

the new millennium, a health guru, and a spiritual

8:28

one to boot, but he

8:30

wasn't a Jim Jones style Charles Manson as

8:32

cult leader. People were free to come and

8:34

go from Cabacán, his island, as

8:36

they pleased, and they would leave almost

8:39

all of them, usually pretty quickly. There

8:42

are no recorded instances of Engelhardt ever using

8:44

violence or coercion, although at least one guy

8:46

maybe got murdered, but we don't know. Engelhardt

8:50

seemed mostly dangerous to himself. His

8:52

diet of coconuts didn't work

8:54

out well for his health. Made his body

8:57

weaker and weaker and more riddled with

8:59

sores as the years went on. Crazy,

9:01

he did not die long before he did of malnutrition.

9:04

Like the true cult leader, he didn't make

9:06

money from people. At one point, he did

9:09

ask for a deposit of a thousand German

9:11

marks for new people coming

9:13

to his little island refuge, but it was only if

9:16

he could afford it. He still

9:18

even towards the end said the poor didn't have to pay for anything

9:20

to join. He was actually,

9:22

seems like a nice guy, completely out of his

9:25

fucking mind in many ways, and a man

9:27

who if you did follow him, he could easily ruin

9:29

your life. You could die following

9:31

his advice, and some did, but

9:33

not an asshole. He didn't

9:35

seem to ever have been fucking anyone under

9:37

shady pretenses that we know of. I'm

9:40

not sure he was fucking anyone, period. I'm

9:42

not sure for the majority of his life,

9:44

he had energy or strength to fuck

9:46

anybody. Turns out only

9:48

eating coconuts for years is

9:50

a good way to get real weak

9:53

and have almost no energy. The

9:56

sauna norden he created was a lot more

9:58

like a weird lifestyle commune. or

10:00

group than was a cult. Like if Gwyneth

10:02

Paltrow moved to a random

10:05

island with a bunch of her fans

10:08

and they spent their days shoving pumice

10:10

stones into the vaginas and having sound

10:12

baths and fucking doing energy healing,

10:15

which somehow doesn't feel that far away. If she or

10:17

Jared Leto, or both of them, don't

10:20

fire up a true cult soon, I'm going

10:22

to be pretty disappointed. That'll be a great

10:24

episode. Despite the lack

10:26

of violence and fucking and mind control,

10:28

the sauna Norden has still been fascinating

10:30

to examine for multiple reasons. For

10:33

one, it's an interesting look into the history of Germany at

10:35

a time when it seemed like Germany may have been positioned

10:37

to become the next major empire in the world, competing

10:40

with the world's most powerful nations like Britain and

10:42

France. Germany's imperial aspirations

10:44

were partially a reflection of a culture

10:46

that had become largely very monolithic, in

10:49

that people were expected to fully embody being a

10:51

German citizen and a citizen of the empire at

10:53

all times. Participating in a

10:56

lifestyle that was cosmopolitan, busy, focused

10:58

on attaining wealth, a lot of work, a

11:00

lot of very worldly. But

11:02

August Engelhardt was part of a small minority that

11:05

rejected all of that, a little counterculture movement. One

11:07

that saw the rise of industrialism and urban

11:10

culture and hated it. One

11:12

that argued that people should go back to the

11:14

way things were before, like a long time before.

11:17

When people could take care of their bodies, you

11:19

know, nature, eat fresh food, bathe in

11:22

the sun, be naked all the time, experience

11:25

holistic healing. Does that

11:27

sound kind of familiar? I feel like we're

11:29

experiencing something similar in our culture today,

11:31

a call to grind less, lay

11:34

around in the sun, you know, more,

11:36

maybe not eat coconuts, but just relax

11:38

more. Because August Engelhardt's story

11:40

is so directly a part of the story of

11:43

the rise of things like yoga, holistic healing, spas

11:45

and saunas. And so many other things today wrapped

11:47

up in the category of wellness. It

11:50

actually has former relevance to our time

11:52

than you might think at quick glance. In

11:54

many ways Engelhardt is a bit like Amy

11:56

Carlson, potential future sucks subject,

11:59

former leader of the love has one

12:01

cult before she died, Carlson and

12:03

her followers believe that she was mother God, a

12:06

19 billion year old being. I

12:08

love that number, very specific, not 20, not 20, but

12:10

not 19 and a reincarnation of

12:12

Jesus Christ, of course, and that she could

12:14

heal people of cancer, who

12:17

had cancer with the power of love. She

12:19

was so convinced of her healing power and so

12:21

convincing to others that when she came

12:23

down with a mysterious illness, she stated it

12:25

was cancer, but it was probably poisoning due

12:28

to the large amounts of colloidal silver she

12:30

was consuming recklessly. Her followers would not

12:33

take her to the hospital, not even when she became paralyzed

12:35

in the ways down. A

12:38

miracle was coming, well, I didn't. Carlson died at

12:40

Callahan's Mountain Lodge in Ashland, Oregon sometime in early

12:42

April, 2021, but her death would

12:44

not be reported to the police until April 28th, at

12:47

which point her body was partially mummified.

12:51

An autopsy report in December of 2021 stated that

12:53

Carlson had died from alcohol abuse, anorexia,

12:55

and chronic colloidal silver ingestion. Autopsy

12:58

found no evidence that Carlson had cancer. Maybe

13:01

she did cure herself of cancer, but then killed

13:03

herself through a type of needless malnutrition from

13:06

not taking care of her body. The

13:08

same exact thing would not happen to August Engelhardt,

13:11

but there are some interesting parallels. People

13:13

living by their ideals dangerously,

13:15

people getting very, very sick through

13:17

circumstances they created that they

13:20

could easily avoid in order to live

13:22

by those ideals. Before we

13:24

get into all that, let's take a quick

13:26

moment and look at the culture that would

13:28

produce August Engelhardt, the German empire,

13:30

a little history before we get into all

13:33

the silly wackadoodleness, and how the

13:35

German empire would lead this strange man all

13:37

the way to New Guinea. When

13:45

we think of countries that colonized many parts of the

13:47

world in 19th century, we

13:49

often don't think of Germany, do we? I

13:52

don't. Great Britain probably comes to

13:54

mind first and with good reason. Beginning

13:56

in the 16th century, Britain began to really

13:59

build its empire. the next centuries,

14:01

the comparatively tiny, Kansas-sized country would

14:03

come to rule large areas of

14:05

North America, Australia, New Zealand, Asia,

14:07

and Africa, as well as small parts

14:09

of Central and South America as well. The

14:11

size of the British Empire, the amount of land

14:13

and number of people under British rule changed in

14:16

size substantially over the years. At its

14:18

height in 1922, it was the largest

14:20

empire the world had ever seen, covering

14:22

around a quarter of the Earth's land surface

14:25

and ruling over an estimated 458 million

14:28

people. That's roughly a shit

14:30

ton of people, and a

14:32

quarter of the entire world's estimated population at

14:34

that time, which was somewhere

14:37

between 1.86 and 2 billion

14:39

people. France is up second, with

14:42

90 colonies at its peak, then Portugal

14:44

was 52, and then any

14:46

guesses? I would not have gotten this. The

14:49

Netherlands was 29. Always

14:51

forget about the Netherlands when it comes to colonial

14:53

powers. Germany comes in fifth with

14:56

a measly 20 colonies, which is actually

14:58

a lot, just not compared to the top

15:00

three, and there's good reason for that. When

15:03

the British Empire was kicking off in the

15:05

16th century, Germany, as we know it today,

15:07

literally did not exist. It wasn't

15:09

a true country, let alone an empire. It

15:11

was more of a loose collection of princedoms

15:13

and kingdoms ruled by a number of notable

15:15

families who were always in competition with each

15:18

other. During the Franco-Prussian War,

15:20

this would change when most of the

15:22

leaders of the German-speaking nations of Europe

15:24

voluntarily chose to unite with Prussia to

15:27

form a single unified German state. Germany

15:30

didn't formally incorporate until 1871. By that time,

15:33

the German Reich was not taken seriously

15:36

by much of Europe when it came

15:38

to competition for the acquisition of overseas

15:40

colonial territories. But though they

15:42

relate to the party, the Germans quickly tried to make up for

15:44

it. You might remember from

15:46

numerous previous episodes the Berlin Conference in

15:49

1884, which carved up Africa. We

15:51

dedicated episode 74 entirely to that. Powerful

15:55

pressure from various internal factions, as well

15:57

as some reckless colonial pioneers in Africa.

16:00

The forced German Chancellor Otto

16:02

von Bismarck, to some

16:04

extent against his will, in the government's

16:06

support for the occupation of the first colonial territories

16:08

in 1884. This marked

16:10

the climax of the European competition for

16:12

territory in Africa, a process

16:15

commonly known as the Scramble for Africa,

16:17

and Germany would play a big role in that,

16:19

competing against Belgium, France, primarily,

16:22

or excuse me, Britain, France, and Belgium, for

16:25

influence and economic opportunities. And

16:28

still today, much Africa suffers thanks to,

16:31

thanks directly to the reverberations

16:33

of those actions. In

16:35

this meeting, the countries would parcel up territories, access to

16:37

rivers and ports, and pave the way for future trade,

16:40

all without asking any of the continent's

16:42

actual inhabitants, of course. In

16:44

1884 and 1885, Germany acquired large

16:47

territories in Africa, in today's Togo,

16:49

Cameroon, Namibia, and Tanzania.

16:52

And in the late 1890s, smaller possessions in East

16:54

Asia, the Shandong

16:56

Province in China, and in the

16:58

Pacific, Samoa, New Guinea, and a number of

17:01

Pacific islands were added. And

17:03

those are where we'll be talking about today, the

17:05

German Pacific colonies. Germans

17:07

first became active as traders in the

17:09

Pacific in the mid-19th century. The

17:12

Hamburg firm of J.C. Godifroy

17:15

and Sohn, established a

17:17

trading base in Samoa in 1857, and

17:20

10 years later, laid out his first

17:22

copra plantation. Copra, or

17:25

copra, is the dried white

17:27

flesh of the coconut, from which coconut oil

17:29

is extracted. Traditionally, the coconuts

17:31

are sun-dried, especially for export, before

17:34

the oil, also known as copra oil,

17:36

is pressed out. The oil

17:38

extracted from copra is rich in lauric

17:40

acid, making it an important commodity in

17:42

the preparation of loral alcohol, soaps, fatty

17:45

acids, cosmetics, etc., and

17:48

thus a lucrative product for many

17:50

coconut-producing countries, or for

17:52

their colonial overlords. By

17:54

1879, German cotton and copra plantations covered

17:57

an area of 4,337... and

18:00

employed 1210 laborers. In

18:03

the 1870s, Edward and Franz Hernsheim

18:07

established trading bases in the Bismarck

18:09

Archipelago and

18:11

the Marshall and Gilbert Islands. Gadafroy

18:14

went bankrupt in 1879, but

18:16

its interest survived in the organization DHPG, which

18:20

stands for some very fucking tough to pronounce German

18:22

words. And that organization pressed for

18:24

German annexation of Samoa in the hope

18:27

of acquiring forced labor for its plantations.

18:29

Intend on protecting German

18:32

trading interests and taking advantage of British

18:34

diplomatic weaknesses, the German government

18:36

now annexed Kaiser Wilhelm's Land,

18:39

Northeastern New Guinea, and the Bismarck

18:41

Archipelago, New

18:43

Britain and New Ireland, those two islands in 1884. The

18:47

western half of the island of New Guinea had been claimed since 1828

18:49

by the Netherlands. In

18:52

1883, the British colony of Queensland

18:54

and Australia annexed Southeastern New Guinea, and

18:57

the year after it became part of the British Empire. Now,

19:00

for many years, New Guinea would be carved

19:02

up amongst three colonial powers, the western half

19:04

controlled by the Netherlands, the Southeastern

19:07

quarter of the island controlled by the

19:09

British, and the Northeastern quarter of the

19:11

island where most of our story takes

19:13

place today, controlled by the Germans. Meanwhile,

19:15

hundreds and hundreds of tribes are living on

19:18

this island, and most of them in the

19:20

dense jungles of the interior will not

19:22

even realize what's going on. None of this will affect them for quite

19:24

some time because for the most part, colonial

19:27

powers stay near the coast. Still

19:29

today in Papua New Guinea, just the

19:31

eastern half of the island. There are

19:33

839 different indigenous languages

19:35

still spoken. It's the most

19:37

linguistically diverse place on earth. The

19:40

western half of the island, home to hundreds of more

19:42

languages and peoples, belongs to Indonesia,

19:44

and the island as a whole, home to

19:46

somewhere around 900 tribes, some

19:49

still living as they have for thousands of years.

19:51

It's a fascinating place. From

19:53

1885 to 1899, German New Guinea was a protectorate ruled

19:57

by the German New Guinea Company. Then

20:00

the German government agreed to take over administration of

20:02

New Guinea, and a governor was appointed,

20:04

based at Herbertow, now Kokopo

20:06

in New Britain, where a substantial

20:08

part of our story will take place today. Confusing,

20:11

I now have an island called New Britain

20:13

in the German controlled part of New Guinea.

20:16

Same for the island of New Ireland, also part

20:18

of the German New Guinea at this time. Those

20:21

two islands, the biggest islands of New Guinea

20:24

after the island of New Guinea itself. This

20:27

new German Empire in the Pacific came to a sudden end

20:29

following the outbreak of World War I in 1914. In

20:32

August, New Zealand troops landed on Samoa,

20:35

and the Germans surrendered without resistance. In

20:38

German New Guinea, there was fighting, but Australian

20:40

troops quickly gained control in September. In

20:42

October, Japanese forces occupied the Marshalls and

20:44

Carolines, and the remaining German islands north

20:47

of the equator. It was all over. But

20:49

for a decent period of time, a good 30 years or so, it

20:52

seemed like the Germans might end up with an empire

20:54

that would rival the British and the French empires. To

20:57

even attempt that was a huge pursuit. The Germans

20:59

in the late 19th and early and mid 20th

21:01

century, not short on ambition when

21:04

it came to territorial expansion, as we all know. And

21:07

Germany needed enormous sums of money, as well

21:09

as manpower, to make this attempt. Which

21:11

meant that the empire had to foster a culture of

21:13

patriotism, really nationalism, sacrifice

21:16

and duty. Indeed, the culture

21:18

of Germany in the late 1800s was one

21:20

very focused on just those things. Let's

21:23

now understand that culture, which will help

21:25

us understand August Engelhardt's reaction to that

21:27

culture. Like we talked about

21:29

with other empires, the Japanese for one. The

21:32

German empire wanted its people to consider

21:34

themselves Germans and only Germans, right? The

21:36

powerful monster of nationalism. It

21:39

can be great for an economy, and for the

21:41

average member of the majority culture's standard of living, but

21:44

it also leads to a tremendous loss

21:46

of individual freedoms, and depression, and sometimes

21:48

destruction of anyone deemed an other. To

21:51

this nationalistic end, one major goal of reforms

21:53

by the German empire was to make sure

21:55

people didn't think of the empire as

21:58

just something to concern politicians. rulers,

22:01

diplomats, the wealthy, but instead the empire was

22:03

a big collective of everyday people who adapted

22:05

their lifestyles for the supposed good of the

22:07

German right. We're all in this together. I

22:09

mean, you're not going to make any fucking money, but we're in

22:11

this together, kind of. One way to

22:14

do this was to eliminate the use of non-German languages

22:16

in public life, schools and academic

22:18

settings with the intent of pressuring the

22:20

non-German population to abandon their national identity

22:23

in what was called Germanification. For

22:25

most Germans, what changed first was both straightforward

22:27

and a major part of their lives, work.

22:31

Increased organization and industry was needed to

22:33

sustain a global economy, which meant

22:35

that there was a market increase in the number of working men and

22:37

women between 1871 and 1913. From 17.3 million all the way to 30.9

22:44

million, almost double. This amounted to an

22:46

average annual growth rate of 1.2%, which

22:49

made the titans of industry much wealthier and

22:51

the average person could expect to see a little more

22:53

economic and social mobility. Coal

22:55

production, railroad companies, chemical manufacturing,

22:57

and agriculture flourished. To

23:00

be sure, there were some slowdowns, but for the

23:02

most part, the period saw large growth in many

23:04

sectors of the economy. Workers too

23:06

saw more benefits. In the 1880s, Bismarck

23:09

introduced old age pensions, accident

23:11

insurance, medical care and unemployment

23:13

insurance that formed the basis of

23:15

the modern European welfare program. The social

23:17

security systems installed by Bismarck, healthcare in

23:20

1883, accident insurance in 1884, invalidity and

23:22

old age insurance

23:25

in 1889 at a time with

23:27

the largest in the world and to

23:30

some degree still exist in Germany today. The

23:32

sort of policy was very appealing to the government. It

23:35

bound workers to the state. There

23:37

was no better way to make people loyal to the

23:39

empire than to have them become agents of the empire

23:41

itself. The need for more diplomats,

23:44

emissaries, and trading agents to manage all

23:46

these territories and exchanges created

23:48

an expansive network of civil servants, people

23:51

employed by and faithful to the German empire

23:53

scattered around the world. And

23:55

this didn't stop with Bismarck's exit from politics. Bismarck's

23:58

seemingly impregnable position. at one

24:00

major weak spot. The Emperor

24:02

had to regard him as indispensable and

24:05

the Emperor Wilhelm I, Wilhelm

24:08

German, did but then he died.

24:11

On March 9, 1888 Wilhelm I died shortly before his 91st birthday

24:16

leaving his son Frederick II as the new

24:18

Emperor or new Kaiser. By

24:20

the time of his accession recession,

24:23

however Frederick had developed incurable

24:26

laryngeal cancer which had been diagnosed

24:28

in 1887, he died on just

24:30

the 99th day of his rule. June 15, 1888 and now his

24:34

son Wilhelm II becomes Kaiser.

24:36

Wilhelm II, the third and last

24:38

German Kaiser had no allegiance to

24:40

Bismarck's pragmatic piece-by-piece approach to building

24:42

a new German Empire. He

24:45

represented the new Germany which knew

24:47

zero moderation, a young

24:49

self-confident Germany which recognized no

24:51

limits to German power. And

24:54

Wilhelm II was impatient with Bismarck's social

24:56

conservatism which seemed to estrange the Emperor

24:58

from the mass of his subjects. The

25:00

dispute between the Emperor and his cronies and Bismarck and

25:03

his came to a head after the general election of

25:05

1890 when Bismarck had

25:07

failed to follow the new cultural national trend

25:09

and failed to carry the election. Bismarck

25:12

wished to tear up the imperial constitution now

25:14

which he himself had made and to set

25:16

up a naked military dictatorship. The

25:18

two would quarrel and ultimately Bismarck would resign

25:21

in March of 1890. With Bismarck's

25:23

departure Wilhelm II now became

25:25

the true sole ruler of

25:27

Germany. Unlike his

25:29

grandfather Wilhelm I who had been largely content

25:31

to leave government affairs to the Chancellor, Wilhelm

25:34

II wanted to be fully informed, actively

25:36

involved in running Germany, not an ornamental

25:39

figurehead the way many German monarchs were at

25:41

the time. He would usher in

25:43

an era of creative ferment in the society,

25:45

politics, culture, art, literature and architecture of Germany.

25:48

Like Bismarck Wilhelm wanted to make Germany a

25:50

global power but he'd go

25:52

full steam ahead where Bismarck was a little

25:54

more hesitant and careful a little more pragmatic.

25:58

Unlike Bismarck whose favorite keeping people loyal

26:00

to the world. Germany through jobs, social

26:02

security, economic measures. Wilhelm

26:04

thought the same thing could be accomplished via

26:06

making German culture the best of the best,

26:08

the most fun. And

26:10

with more people gathered in cities, traveling

26:12

around, being well-employed, people turned to certain

26:14

vices. The proliferation of

26:16

social clubs meant the average German was drinking

26:19

more, smoking more, probably

26:21

having more casual romantic dalliances as

26:23

well, though there's not any statistical

26:25

evidence to back that up. The

26:27

use of FINA assures me it's true,

26:29

though. So much Bavarian scat play! Or

26:32

maybe it wasn't that wild. But

26:34

much more decadent than it was before. Soon

26:37

German culture was thriving and seemed to

26:39

be all about the empire, decadence, vice,

26:41

appreciating the good life. But

26:43

there were people, as there always are in history, who

26:46

looked at this growth and its associated values and lifestyle

26:48

and decided, I don't like it. Not

26:50

for me. Educators opposed

26:52

to the German state-run schools, which emphasized

26:55

military education, set up their own independent

26:57

liberal schools, which encouraged

26:59

individuality, the arts, freedom.

27:02

Some Germans who didn't like where Germany was headed

27:04

coalesced under the new banner of Liebensform, literally

27:07

translated to lifestyle reform. Instead

27:10

of rushing to become citizens of the empire with

27:12

industrious jobs to match, advocates for

27:15

Liebensform advocated for just the opposite,

27:17

returning to nature, living on the

27:19

small parcel of land, hopefully by a body of

27:22

water, living off the earth. Liebensform,

27:24

in a certain sense, was a precursor to

27:26

what we might call natural medicine, homeopathy

27:29

today. The Liebensform

27:31

movement in Germany originally was a politically

27:33

diverse movement. There were hundreds of groups

27:35

across Germany dedicated to some or

27:38

all of the concepts associated with Liebensform. Ecology,

27:41

organic farming, vegetarianism,

27:43

naturalism, aka nudity,

27:47

and abstinence from alcohol and tobacco. I

27:49

don't know. Sounds kind of cool, but

27:51

maybe also kind of boring. So

27:53

there were many different strains of Liebensform. Almost

27:57

all Liebensform enthusiasts agreed that people should eat

27:59

natural medicine. unprocessed products as much

28:01

as possible. You shopped at

28:03

the health food store, known to this day

28:06

as Reform House, and

28:08

spent a lot of your time in the kitchen as the menus were

28:10

a lot of work. In

28:12

addition, most advocated for a daily schedule that

28:14

provided sufficient sleep and rest periods, which was

28:16

dominated by an idea of moderation and all

28:18

things. A person should not eat too much,

28:21

should definitely not smoke or drink at all,

28:23

and should be physically active. I

28:26

even smoke weed. Again,

28:28

that sounds kind of nice, but kind of boring. In

28:31

terms of leisure activities, Lebens formers went

28:33

in for a whole range of sporting

28:35

activities, such as various ballgames. Popular

28:37

ones at the time were similar to dodgeball or

28:39

baseball today. Swimming, cross-country

28:42

running, dancing and gymnastics

28:44

were popular initially, but then yoga with

28:46

its breathing and relaxation techniques became more

28:48

popular. The Swiss Naturist

28:50

Federation published numerous yoga textbooks

28:53

and thus contributed to the spread of this activity into Switzerland

28:55

as well. Indeed, many

28:57

of today's yoga studios in Western nations are

29:00

definitely a part of the Lebens form legacy,

29:02

whether they realize it or not. Fascinatingly,

29:05

not all these groups were, as we might

29:07

think, necessarily liberal. They came from all

29:09

corners of the political spectrum. Some

29:11

would even be absorbed into national

29:13

socialism, aka the Nazi Party. As

29:16

early as 1907, Nazi Dick

29:18

Richard Unkviter published

29:22

a pamphlet called Nudity and Culture, which

29:24

sold 100,000 copies. Arguing

29:27

that the practices he recommended would

29:29

be, quote, the means by which

29:31

the German race would regenerate itself

29:33

and ultimately prevail over its neighbors

29:36

and the diabolical Jews who are intent

29:38

on injecting purifying agents into the nation's

29:40

blood and soil. Yeah,

29:42

whip your fucking German cock sausage out. Flop

29:45

out those preparing titties. That'll teach those diabolical

29:47

Jews. Not sure what it'll

29:49

teach them, but it'll teach them something. It'll show them

29:51

something. Now back to our main topic.

29:55

Lebens form as a movement led to a

29:57

lot of things, the proliferation of yoga, vegetarianism,

29:59

nudism, resorts and even as we just

30:01

learned seeing some old Nazi peen. One

30:04

other thing it would lead to, one very very bizarre

30:06

thing, wouldn't have as much

30:08

staying power or really any staying power at all.

30:11

But fascinating while it lasted. Before

30:14

we get into that coconut madness, a

30:17

note regarding the upcoming timeline. Since

30:19

as we mentioned record-keeping was so shoddy, years

30:22

listed for specific events tend to vary. One

30:25

source might say something happened in 1904

30:27

versus 1905 etc. Doesn't

30:29

matter for this story. We'll be

30:31

using the timeline of a doctoral dissertation

30:33

written by Sven Montor entitled

30:36

Following a South Seas Dream August

30:38

Engelhardt and the Sonna Norden for

30:40

the majority of our information. Let's

30:43

now get into August Engelhardt's Coconut

30:45

Cult or the Sonna

30:48

Norden. But before we

30:50

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here is a weird-ass timeline. Crap

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on those boots, soldier! We're

36:16

marching down a time suck

36:19

timeline! August

36:26

Engelhardt was born on November 27, 1875 in the German

36:28

city of Nuremberg. Most

36:32

well known for the Nuremberg trials, the post-World

36:34

War II trials that would determine the guilt

36:37

of high-ranking Nazi officials. Nuremberg has

36:39

a history that dates back long before then. The

36:41

first written mention of the city occurred in 1050, mentioning

36:45

Nuremberg as the location of an imperial castle.

36:48

From 1050 to 1572, the city expanded, rose

36:50

dramatically in importance due to its location

36:53

on key trade routes. Later,

36:55

the cultural flowering of Nuremberg in the 15th

36:57

and 16th centuries made it the center

36:59

of the German Renaissance, a time of

37:01

elevated art, music, and architecture that is still visible

37:03

in the city today. In

37:06

1817, the city was incorporated into Middle

37:08

Franconia. In 1852, there were

37:10

53,638 inhabitants, composed mainly of 46,441 Protestants and 6,616 Catholics. Like

37:21

many other German lands, it would voluntarily

37:24

give itself over to Prussia, later the

37:26

German Empire, during the Franco-Prussian War.

37:29

Nuremberg subsequently grew to become the most

37:32

important industrial city of southern

37:34

Germany, one of the most prosperous towns of

37:36

southern Germany and the hometown of our August

37:39

Engelhardt. Information

37:41

on August's early life is pretty scant, difficult

37:44

to find, inaccessible due to privacy

37:46

legislation, simply no longer in existence.

37:49

As I mentioned before, records destroyed by two

37:51

kind of infamous world wars you've probably heard

37:53

of. The available information

37:56

we do have consists mainly of letters, recollections, and

37:58

reports of people who came to the city. to

38:00

know August Engelhardt during his time in German,

38:02

New Guinea. As a result, we

38:04

don't know much about his family, not even the

38:06

names of his parents, who seem to have

38:08

died sometime around 1900 based on allusions to them

38:10

and letters no longer being in his life. We

38:13

know that his father was likely the owner of

38:15

a factory that manufactured paints and varnish. So

38:18

probably had some coin and that'll come clear later.

38:20

He had some family money, it seems.

38:22

Yes, but probably. Also know he

38:25

must have had a number of relatives as

38:27

he frequently addressed letters to his dear

38:29

relatives. One

38:31

letter to Mr. and Mrs. Lorenz

38:33

Sorgel ends, best

38:36

regards your favorite brother, August Engelhardt,

38:38

indicating that Mrs. Sorgel was his sister

38:41

since he doesn't share his surname. He

38:44

had at least one brother, Heinrich Engelhardt, who

38:46

appears in some letters. Heinrich

38:48

would go on as the 1908 edition of Engelhardt's

38:51

newsletter for sun tropics and

38:53

coconuts, which reveal—can't we start

38:55

talking about this weird shit as

38:57

it happens—to become the representative of the

39:00

Sonna Norden for Nuremberg in Bavaria. We

39:03

also know that August left gymnasium, secondary

39:05

school, early, having gotten

39:07

what might in modern terms be called a GED.

39:10

And afterwards, he quickly began training to be a

39:12

pharmacist. He would later tell one

39:14

person that he was a graduate of Bonn University where

39:16

he studied chemistry in order to train as a pharmacist,

39:19

but there is no record of him ever completing

39:21

a doctorate or any other degree. So

39:24

maybe he exaggerated, or just lied. He didn't

39:26

have the most conventional education for being a pharmacist.

39:28

He'd later be known for having an enormous collection

39:30

of books, particularly philosophy

39:32

books, that he brought with him to New

39:34

Guinea, brought those books in little else, and

39:37

historians assume he was introduced to these thinkers in

39:39

college. He was also introduced through

39:41

pharmacy school to the idea of Liebens' form,

39:44

improving one's lifestyle, what we

39:46

just covered above at length. But

39:48

we didn't cover one important thinker who would influence

39:50

Engelhardt greatly. A man named

39:52

Gustav Schlichenheisen. I

39:55

Fucking love these names. I love a

39:57

good German name. Gustav Schlichenheisen! No,

40:00

it slick eyes, second eyes, and all who

40:02

wrote a fruit and bread? A

40:04

Scientific Diets. And. Eighteen Seventy Seven.

40:08

Assess. Limit

40:11

the the Book propose that eighth

40:13

food zebras diets was the rational.

40:15

A natural died from him. But

40:18

also mention new philosophy supposedly developing and United

40:20

States called cup of Or as. Which.

40:23

Was surviving off coconuts and coconuts

40:25

alone. It's. Unclear where exactly

40:27

as pathetic as mobile to confound beats have

40:29

like the first mention of Top Of or

40:31

as I'm sources just saves that American trend

40:34

with outside of any relevance. but. Nonetheless,

40:36

That fascinated Inglehart. Imagine

40:39

trying to imagine living off of one food.

40:42

That. Doesn't appeal to you on any

40:44

level. One. Of any kind of

40:46

food. Coconut. Bees.

40:50

Grapes, carrots, Crazy.

40:53

No. Closer people have ever done. That is a terrible

40:55

idea. Also. Pretty funny thing about. It.

40:58

He could Only one foods the rest of your

41:00

life would be. A not is

41:02

one meal he can see kids like tacos. That

41:04

has multiple foods. If know became like spaghetti,

41:07

know just one food. Is

41:09

always like in this in this way of Inglehart. think it would

41:11

just be like just tortilla. Are

41:13

just too heated. Seats are just, you

41:15

know, pork. What? Would

41:18

you be healthiest and happy? As long as

41:20

it's hard rights like to foods be so

41:22

much easier. Because. I think in this

41:24

thought experiment thing about health to. You.

41:26

Know if I was not as I was not lactose

41:28

intolerant like maybe milk. And

41:31

maybe we have. She would be coconut for

41:33

me. Or soybean. soybeans. No good. Carbs and

41:35

protein solved. Gathered one substance. If.

41:38

I could have to. As he could

41:40

be facing Blubbers. If I

41:42

guess three. Fish. Blueberries

41:44

Spinach. Other. Day I think I

41:46

can be healthy offers blueberries. has been bored. With.

41:49

Healthy. Too. So if they're

41:51

the one three you know I have as much

41:53

as a little long life. You. Know on

41:55

like Halibut. Sea

41:57

Bass or salmon again spit is. But

42:01

nothing but three, you know, ugh, still be tough.

42:05

I bet your poop would look so fucking weird if

42:07

you only ate one food. I bet

42:10

August Engelhardt's poop looked so strange after he lived on

42:12

nothing but coconuts for years. Like

42:14

was his shit just white? Anyway,

42:16

in the late 1890s, in his early 20s, Engelhardt

42:19

decides for himself that he wants to see how all these

42:21

ideas can be put into practice. Not

42:23

just as an individual, but as a community. And

42:25

there were a lot of communities of people doing

42:27

some weird shit in the late 19th

42:29

century and early 20th century in Germany, and in

42:31

America and elsewhere. You know, could

42:33

a community thrive around the principles of coco-vourism? Could

42:36

everyone's shit be as white as virgin snow?

42:38

What a paradise! What if

42:40

everyone's shit smelled like coconut? Oh, what a life. Sometime

42:44

before 1900, August moved to the tiny,

42:46

less than 200 person town of Eckertal

42:49

in Germany to join his friends, brothers Adolf and

42:51

Rudolf. Jus, I love it. Adolf,

42:54

they sound like fucking reindeer. Sounds like there's

42:56

one reindeer and the other one's like a reindeer with

42:58

a tiny mustache and a lot of hate in

43:01

his heart. They were running a sanatorium named

43:03

Jungborn. This place,

43:05

I searched for it on YouTube to

43:07

figure out how to say it. Ah, and there was

43:09

this unintentionally hilarious video. Archival footage, this old black and

43:11

white film shot at this place. Just

43:14

all these pale ass German guys

43:16

of all ages. Looks like, you know, I don't know, 16 to 75. Running

43:21

around naked together in this

43:23

nice yard. Big groups of

43:26

dudes doing naked pushups, jogging

43:28

around naked, playing catch and keep way

43:30

naked. Just a lot of German dicks

43:32

flopping around. Stretching naked, standing

43:34

in line naked, getting naked mud baths.

43:37

Women in the video were clothed, which was

43:39

a bummer because a lot of them seemed like

43:41

they were pretty hot. Saw way too

43:43

many dicks, zero vaginas. But

43:45

in real life, the women also would

43:47

be naked at Jungborn. Seems

43:49

like Jungborn was mostly about being naked, getting healthy

43:52

by being naked as often as possible. Let's

43:54

take a tour now of Jungborn and the

43:57

health movements that would come to shape it. Because

43:59

it'll influence. August a lot because he's studying

44:01

all this before he goes on his coca war is an adventure

44:05

And we'll do this not only because it's pertinent the story industry

44:07

It's also kind of like a 19th century whackadoodle of the week

44:11

many sanatoriums their sanatorium culture, uh It's

44:14

fucking fascinating a sanatorium

44:16

from the Latin word meaning to heal

44:18

make healthy also sanitarium This

44:20

historic is a historic name for a

44:22

specialized hospital for the treatment of specific

44:25

diseases related ailments and

44:27

convalescence The period after

44:29

an illness in which one gets better sanatoriums

44:32

treated communicable diseases like tuberculosis Serving

44:35

the dual purpose of quarantining the sick providing them

44:37

with environment that was thought to help them get

44:39

better For example instead

44:41

of living in a crowded city, which might aggravate

44:43

their illness They could breathe fresh air and eat

44:45

food straight from the countryside But

44:48

there were also sanitariums that focused on

44:50

more obscure diseases like hysteria the

44:52

teague emotional exhaustion to name

44:54

a few and These

44:56

sanitariums usually available only to the

44:58

wealthy Because it was thought that

45:00

only the wealthy had the time to experience

45:02

something like emotional exhaustion Everyone

45:04

else, you know, they didn't have time to think about being

45:06

emotionally exhausted Too much shit to focus

45:09

on like, you know, keep their jobs going so their fucking

45:11

lives wouldn't crumble These

45:13

became kind of like, you know crosses between hospitals

45:15

and country clubs these places for

45:17

these people sanatoriums were like a huge

45:20

hotels that peddled lifestyle fats the

45:22

modern-day equivalent to like a Guiness Paltrow

45:25

Goop cruise And yes, there

45:27

has been a goop cruise. I Think

45:30

they're doing it again in September. I hate that. I know that it's

45:33

called goop at sea a lot of spa time

45:35

a lot of facials so

45:37

much massage and crystals and stones

45:39

and rejuvenation and meditation and You

45:42

do get to eat a lot more than coconuts In

45:44

some ways it actually does sound kind of nice fucking annoying

45:47

pray people there but nice some

45:49

ritzy sanitariums in Germany were the New York Neepanum

45:53

for example an elegant and spacious palatial building

45:56

the barakar operated by John and Sophia

45:58

sliel shield the

46:00

light and water cure Institute that

46:02

sounds wackles fuck of Ludwig

46:05

and Corolla Staden a

46:07

sanitarium developed by professor F W Reitmeier I don't know

46:09

anything about him I'm gonna guess he wasn't a real

46:11

professor oh he used neep and

46:14

Pristnitz as his models to

46:17

be fair even these Richie places could be terrifying if

46:19

you found yourself involuntarily committed to one which I guess was

46:22

possible at some of them like

46:24

let's say you were committed to John Harvey

46:26

Kellogg sanitarium in them in the States and

46:28

Battle Creek Michigan the Battle Creek

46:30

sanitarium it'll be easier to

46:32

reference an American sanitarium from this era since we just

46:34

have more source material available available excuse me

46:37

you might recognize John Harvey's name from the cereal

46:39

aisle he was also the inventor of

46:41

Kellogg cereal one of his many

46:43

health oriented inventions probably his

46:46

best invention he was an early proponent of

46:48

the germ theory of disease as well though outside

46:51

of those and a few other good ideas he was

46:53

fucking batshit crazy really

46:55

bizarre like many

46:57

others Battle Creek approach treatment in a holistic

46:59

manner actively promoting

47:01

vegetarianism nutrition exercise sun

47:04

bathing hydrotherapy you know

47:07

abstinence from smoking tobacco drinking

47:09

alcoholic beverages and any sexual

47:11

activity sounds terrible you

47:14

also find yourself on the receiving end of

47:16

one of Kellogg's many many strange experiments in

47:18

health like the yogurt enema show

47:21

bees that's how you would battle creek making

47:23

some yogurt into the peanut butter peanut butter yogurt

47:26

Kellogg believed that natural changes in what he

47:29

called intestinal flora aka bacteria

47:31

could be sped up by enemas frequent enemas

47:35

seeded with favorable bacteria you should definitely

47:37

try this next time you have

47:39

a tummy ache don't you fucking baby don't get

47:41

weird about it just do it go grab

47:43

a box of spongebob gogarts you probably

47:45

already have a box at home if you got little kids just

47:47

stick up your ass stop being a fucking baby and stick a

47:50

go get in your ass squeeze that

47:52

plastic tube hard you gotta shoot up

47:54

some sugary strawberry yogurt into your intestines

47:56

I'm gonna have to loosen things up with lube

47:58

and a butt plug first so you don't nice gape

48:00

to get shit in there. It's not gonna be

48:02

a sexual gape. It's gonna be a health

48:04

gape for your health. It actually

48:07

sounds like an extra demented, you know, advice segment from

48:09

Check It Out with Dr. Steve Brule. I

48:11

fucking love that adult swim segment so much. Kellogg,

48:14

but this is real life, Kellogg also advocated

48:16

for frequent use of an enema machine to

48:20

cleanse your vials with several gallons of water. That

48:22

wily old cereal baron, he loved him

48:24

some fancy butt plate. Water

48:27

enemas, water enemas were followed by

48:29

the administration of a pint of

48:31

yogurt. Half

48:33

would be eaten by your regular

48:35

mouth. Other half shot

48:38

up into your butt mouth. Other half administered

48:40

by planting the

48:42

protective germs where they are needed and

48:45

may render most effective service, according

48:47

to the doctor himself. You got

48:49

to attack that digestive system from both

48:52

ends. Show no mercy. There's

48:54

a full cup and half a

48:57

pint is a full cup of butt yogurt. So

48:59

you put one full cup of yogurt into your mouth and

49:02

then another full cup squirted right up into

49:04

your ass frequently. Mr.

49:06

Kellogg you freaky motherfucker you. I

49:08

feel like shit like that is what you end up

49:10

doing when you try to abstain from sexual activity at

49:12

all. You start justifying weird life

49:15

hacks like you know shooting yogurt

49:17

up your ass every morning for your health. Wonder

49:20

if his butt yogurt had large chunks of fruit in it. And

49:24

also did his poop taste like yogurt? Yeah.

49:26

Would it be safe to eat? So many questions. What

49:28

if he had other unorthodox health treatments that were

49:31

clearly sexual in nature that he just didn't advertise

49:33

publicly? Yes that's right. This

49:35

will promote bladder health and decrease the chance

49:38

of you ever getting penis cancer which is

49:40

quite common and dangerous. You just

49:42

gonna want to just gonna want to stick your

49:44

love club into a ripe butternut squash. Mm-hmm gonna

49:46

cut the right size hole in the rind and

49:48

off you go. Have at it boy. We're gonna

49:50

give it a healthy go. Keep

49:52

thrusting until ejaculation to make sure you

49:55

properly coated your penile skin and urethra

49:57

with enough butternut enzyme to

49:59

get the full health better. benefits. Ladies, now

50:01

it's your turn to eliminate the chance of ovarian

50:04

cancer. You're going to want to peel a cucumber. Stick

50:07

it up your hoohah. Stick it in your serpent socket

50:09

until climax. Make sure you've done a thorough

50:11

job for your health. Back

50:14

to business now, it's just going to be just as

50:16

weird as what I went over. Back to butt yogurt

50:18

business. Kellogg believed that yogurt served to replace the intestinal

50:20

floor of the bowel, creating Kellogg claim with a squeaky

50:22

clean intestine or a really

50:25

gross yogurt-lined one. What Kellogg

50:27

did not promote for your health was masturbation. He

50:29

was the most against it, like

50:32

aggressively against it. He thought it was

50:34

bad for your health. Mr. Kellogg

50:36

was a zealous lifelong foe of what

50:38

he actually referred to as the

50:41

solitary vice and

50:43

the vile practice. Bad

50:45

bald-headed gigglestick.

50:48

In enthusiastic Seventh-day Adventists, Kellogg

50:51

wrote that masturbation led to poor

50:53

digestion, memory loss, impaired vision.

50:55

This is all coming from jerking off. Heart disease,

50:59

epilepsy, and insanity. Jerk

51:02

off until you fucking go crazy. To name just

51:04

a few of the insidious side effects. I

51:06

literally laughed out loud, probably harder than is normal when I

51:09

first read that. As

51:11

someone who has been masturbating on

51:13

a regular basis for over three decades for my health

51:16

and pleasure, I can assure you it

51:18

does not lead to those side effects. If

51:20

it did, I would certainly be blind, insane,

51:22

epileptic, I'd have continual diarrhea, wouldn't be

51:24

able to remember my own name, which I know

51:26

is of course Patsay Jack. Do

51:29

you know that Patsay Jack is retiring from Wheel of Fortune? The

51:32

last show is set for June 7th. God

51:34

knows what deviant shit he has planned

51:36

for June 8th, possibly some dick

51:38

bird level of debauchery. Anyway,

51:41

to break his young patience of this

51:43

nasty working hank or wanking habit, Kellogg

51:45

suggested procedures that range from ridiculous to

51:47

barbaric, including tying up your

51:49

hands so you can't actually grab cats winky or

51:52

DJ your penis fly trap, bandaging

51:54

the offending organ, literally

51:56

wrapping your dick up in gauze, or my

51:58

favorite I'm

52:00

not making this up. I know you probably don't

52:03

trust me after the dick bird stuff, but putting a cage over

52:05

it. A cock cage. He didn't

52:07

call it that. That's what it was. The

52:09

founder of Kellogg's Cereals, John Harvey

52:11

Kellogg, was an absolute maniac. Imagine

52:15

actually putting on some kind of belt with a

52:17

wire cage compartment that you put your dick and

52:19

balls in. You're not putting jeans on

52:21

over that. I guess just wearing

52:23

sweatpants with a constant massive bulge is

52:26

your regular look. Oh, don't worry about this. No,

52:29

I'm just trying not to go blind. I

52:31

don't want to lose my mind. No need

52:33

for alarm. It's just my cock cage. Nobody be

52:35

afraid. I got my cock caged up. Can't

52:38

hurt anyone. That

52:40

didn't work. Kellogg literally recommended circumcision

52:42

without anesthetic. Oh my

52:45

God. Quote, as the brief pain attending

52:47

the operation will have a salutary effect

52:49

upon the mind. He

52:52

wrote that in his book, Plain Facts for Old and

52:54

Young. Is that a plain fact? He's

52:56

a psychopath. And we talked about him before

52:58

actually. It's just been a long time. And I forgot

53:00

how much he hated touching his dick or just dicks

53:02

in general. Where did that level

53:04

of hate come from? He must have been

53:06

addicted to jerking off at some point. Just

53:09

unable to get anything done. His life is in ruins because he

53:11

can't stop jerking off. Just whacking it. Seven,

53:13

eight, nine, ten times a day. So he

53:15

literally had blisters and calluses all over his

53:17

shaft, open sores. And he's still trying

53:20

to stroke through the pain. Then finally he's

53:22

like, enough! There's no way to live! I

53:24

have to find a way to stop this. I have

53:27

to burn this trouser snake. I gotta

53:29

put this meat puppet custard launcher in a cage

53:31

where it belongs. Get in that cage, you dirty

53:33

little serpent. Kellogg

53:35

had an even more gruesome set of treatment for girls, including

53:38

the application of pure, carbolic acid

53:41

to the clitoris. Or in

53:43

more extreme cases, if you just couldn't stop

53:45

diddling, if you just loved having orgasms too

53:47

much, if you just couldn't stop riding your

53:49

own bicycle, he recommended surgical removal of

53:52

the clitoris. He was

53:54

a demon. And Kellogg was not

53:56

thought of as a quack for any of this. Far from

53:58

it. He had many notable... patients.

54:01

Hopefully they didn't do a lot of stuff themselves,

54:04

including former president William Howard Taft, aviator

54:06

Amelia Earhart, economist Irving Fisher,

54:09

Nobel Prize winning playwright George Bernard Shaw, founder

54:12

of the Ford Motor Company, who he

54:14

was a nut, Henry Ford, inventor

54:16

Thomas Edison, African American activist Sojourner

54:18

Truth, and many others. President

54:21

Calvin Coolidge even had one of the doctors

54:23

mechanical horses in the White House, one of

54:25

his other exercise inventions. No word on

54:27

whether or not President Coolidge also kept his cock

54:29

in the cage. Let's pretend for fun

54:31

that he did. Let us think going

54:34

forward when we think of President Coolidge, which we know is probably

54:36

not often, let's just think of a

54:38

deranged man screaming at

54:41

his caged cock in the old office, and you

54:43

will stay in there until you learn

54:45

to show me some goddamn respect. And he slaps the

54:47

side of the cage a few times, let his dick

54:49

know he means business before pulling

54:52

his overtrousers back over the cage. People

54:56

like Kellogg, men and women who ran the

54:58

gamut from entrepreneurs to health practitioners to inventors

55:00

and activists and sometimes charlatans, would

55:03

open more and more sanatoriums to

55:05

the public that was eager to

55:07

solve any and all of their problems. And the

55:09

ones that offered the more basic cures, good

55:13

diet, baths, plenty of time to

55:15

relax, no cock cages, no literal

55:17

removal, they became a haven for the

55:19

well to do with advertising, specifically

55:22

aimed at drawing an upscale crowd. Advertising,

55:25

as we'll see, too, with August Engelhardt was

55:27

just as important as actually owning and maintaining

55:29

these facilities. In the

55:31

1890s, a publisher named Benedict Lust would

55:34

put out lists of top healing centers. Soon,

55:36

Lust would also become Adolf Jus, publisher

55:38

for his works and his advertisements for

55:41

Jungborn. In this sanatorium

55:43

and model institution for pure natural lifestyle,

55:46

as the advertisement went, nudism and

55:48

vegetarianism were regarded as the fundamental pillars

55:50

of a healthier lifestyle. According

55:52

to these ads, the mission of Jungborn

55:54

was to cure or relieve as much

55:56

as possible chronic patients of all times.

56:00

application of the natural method of healing, employing

56:02

only air, light, water,

56:04

electricity, magnetism,

56:06

hypnotism, okay, massage,

56:09

gymnastics, and rational diet. And

56:13

the natural method

56:15

of nudity was also working there. Naked

56:18

massage. So, naked massage

56:20

and nude gymnastics. I'm

56:22

listening. Could be a nightmare to

56:24

see, could be heaven. All depends on who's doing naked floor

56:26

routine. Nudism and

56:28

hypnotism sounds dangerous. There

56:30

were no drugs found at the

56:33

newborn. Mmm, bummer. Sounds like it would be a great place

56:35

to be high. Lust or juice

56:37

is unclear from sources who exactly was writing this,

56:39

stated, we do not believe in

56:41

curing one disease by producing another. We

56:43

remove the cause of the disease and so get

56:45

rid of it entirely. Not

56:47

sure why he felt or why they, you know, whoever

56:49

wrote that, felt the need to state that part. Seems

56:52

obvious. Just so you know, unlike our competition, when

56:54

we cure one disease, we

56:56

don't give you another one. Fresh

56:59

air, plenty of exercise, outdoors, sunshine, the vegetarian

57:01

diet of fresh vegetables and fruits, nuts, dairy,

57:04

and farm fresh eggs were the

57:06

main tenants of life at Juhnborn. Yes,

57:08

have other dietary options such as the

57:10

food giverous diet, advocated by

57:12

a writer named Louis Kuhn, the

57:14

raw food diet and also complete fasting. Oh,

57:17

fun. Another key element of

57:19

natural healing available at Juhnborn was the

57:21

focus on removing from the body its

57:23

toxic impurities. Advertisements

57:26

stated, the deep purative organs

57:28

and these alone must

57:30

do all the work of purification and

57:32

there are ways to aid them which have no bad effects. Spring

57:35

fever, that tired feeling and other spring

57:37

ailments that have been brought on by

57:39

a lack of exercise, stuffed rooms, a

57:41

wrong diet during the winter months are

57:44

also amenable to quick treatment and cure at

57:46

this time. Uh, I

57:49

think that tired feeling is spring

57:51

fever brought on by pollen. A

57:53

little Claritin should knock it right out. Maybe

57:56

add some Flonase if you need an extra boost. So

57:58

how would you help your body? most effectively get

58:01

rid of your internal impurities. By

58:03

bathing, of course. That's right,

58:05

the same act that got you squeaky clean on the outside could

58:07

also get you squeaky clean on the inside if

58:09

you believe these fools. There were so

58:12

many baths at Ewingborn, so much rub-a-dub-dub, and

58:14

so many tubs. You might

58:16

not come on the other side any healthier, but God, you're

58:18

gonna be so fucking clean. Every

58:20

imaginable bath could be experienced at Ewingborn. Full bath,

58:22

half bath, trunk bath, hip bath, whatever the hell

58:25

that is. Partial bath plus

58:27

full vapor or steam bath, steam jets and

58:29

steam compresses. Cold wet

58:31

sheet compresses, cold wraps, and

58:34

every variation were available. As well

58:36

as the signature treatment used by

58:39

health advocate Father Sebastian Neep. This

58:41

guy's a fucking carnarist. The

58:44

water treatment, aka the gush. You

58:46

gotta get to gushing, which

58:48

I don't think is the same as squirting. Neep

58:51

credited the gush for saving his life.

58:54

Like Benedict Lust, Neep was a

58:56

young man contracted tuberculosis at a time when

58:58

that disease was synonymous with certain death. His

59:01

salvation, according to him, was a little book

59:03

on a cold water cure written by Dr.

59:05

Johann Sigmund Hahn, which gave

59:07

him enough guidance to self-administer water therapies

59:10

and successfully treat and cure his tuberculosis,

59:12

allegedly. Neep describes the importance

59:14

of that book in the following way. The

59:17

little volume was at first, the little

59:19

volume was at first, the straw to

59:21

which, no, that's annoying, to

59:23

which I clung as a drowning man. It

59:25

became in a short time the staff supported an invalid.

59:28

Today it is a lifeboat, which was sent to me

59:30

by a merciful providence in the nick of time, province

59:32

with a capital P, in the hour of extreme

59:34

peril. And with that in mind, he would develop

59:37

the gush. So what exactly

59:39

is the gush? Get ready for an anti-climatic definition.

59:41

It's pretty much what it sounds like. It's a

59:45

pathetic, it's just a gush of water. It's just a gush

59:47

of cold water applied to the body. It's

59:49

basically just being sprayed with a garden hose. Gushes,

59:52

but it sounds fancy. Gushes were administered

59:54

to specific body parts, depending on pathology.

59:57

For example, this is their

59:59

term. The arm douche was

1:00:02

indicated when the arm was powerless caused

1:00:04

by paralysis or rheumatism, according to the, oh,

1:00:06

is your arm paralyzed? Let

1:00:08

me give you an arm douche. That

1:00:10

should restore it to full function. Another

1:00:13

knee treatment was the hip douche. This

1:00:16

guy laughing privately about all this stuff. In taking

1:00:18

the first hip douche, a patient would experience water

1:00:20

applied to the back of the feet and very

1:00:22

gradually ascending to the knees. The

1:00:24

stream of water would gradually raise from the knees to the

1:00:26

hips to the middle of the back. However,

1:00:29

Neep emphatically cautioned that

1:00:32

quote, the

1:00:34

douching from below to above must be

1:00:36

conducted very slowly. You don't fucking speed

1:00:38

douche. You'll ruin it. You'll

1:00:41

end up completely paralyzed. Water

1:00:44

was not applied haphazardly, but methodically, such

1:00:46

that quote, the water must flow equally over

1:00:48

the hip so that it looks as

1:00:51

though covered with a sheet of glass. See

1:00:53

this fucking diving to a pool. And

1:00:55

you get out of that garden hose. You can't

1:00:58

just spray someone down all willy-nilly and expect to

1:01:00

cure their arthritis. Get out of here. This

1:01:02

isn't horse play. This isn't fun and games. This is very scientific

1:01:05

treatment. You need to wear glasses so you look studious.

1:01:07

You have a sense of

1:01:09

authority. You got to probably put on a lab coat and

1:01:11

carry a clipboard in the hand not holding the garden hose.

1:01:14

For the hip douche, six to 10 watering cans would

1:01:16

be used for about four gallons of water. Doesn't

1:01:18

sound like much. For weak persons,

1:01:21

one can of water could be sufficient. Neep

1:01:23

would use up to 10 cans of water

1:01:25

in treatments to counter obesity. Spray

1:01:28

that cellulite right off, baby. I feel

1:01:30

so stupid not thinking of how to get rid of some

1:01:32

belly fat this way before. I've been exercising

1:01:34

like a madman this year. But why?

1:01:37

I just get all toned up in the shower, never

1:01:39

break a sweat or feel short of breath. I just

1:01:41

do my water right. Thank you, Dr. Neep. This

1:01:44

is so incredibly stupid. I can

1:01:46

see why this never really caught on. This makes me think, what

1:01:49

dumb shit are we doing today that we're

1:01:51

going to look back on 100 years from now and

1:01:53

wonder what the fuck anyone was thinking? Looking at you

1:01:56

and all the nonsense supplements you used to sell, Alex

1:01:58

Jones. Take your lung. blend

1:02:00

spray and your prostagard pills and shovel

1:02:02

up your ass with a cup of

1:02:04

yogurt. All that being said,

1:02:07

there is a website, sadly a

1:02:09

very well-maintained, nicely-made website, active

1:02:11

right now, neep.com, that is based on

1:02:13

this bullshit, kneipp.com,

1:02:17

if you're curious. From the about us

1:02:19

section of the website, to this day,

1:02:21

water applications form the basis of neep therapy.

1:02:24

Because they are so easy to use,

1:02:26

well yeah, since you fucking just dumped some water

1:02:28

in life, they are also suitable for use at home

1:02:31

in most cases. A shower

1:02:33

hose, for example, from which the shower head

1:02:35

is unscrewed is suitable. So

1:02:37

my garden hose bullshit, spot on. It

1:02:40

actually is that dumb. Despite, you

1:02:42

know, you just do the stuff at your house, they

1:02:44

sell a lot of stuff. Hey, are you feeling stressed? Are

1:02:47

you really stressed out? Are you dreading having some

1:02:49

hard talks with yourself about, who knows, romantic or

1:02:51

career choices? You know, are you

1:02:54

needing to work harder on relationships of some kind?

1:02:56

You wondering how you're going to pay some kind

1:02:58

of outrageous medical bill? Well, you

1:03:00

have to pick up a third job to help with your stress.

1:03:03

Now, fuck no! Just go to neep.com

1:03:05

and pick up their goodbye stress rosemary

1:03:07

and watermint aromatherapy bubble bath. $16

1:03:10

for 13.5 ounces. Those

1:03:13

stressful medical bills will just be rosemary and

1:03:15

minted right on down the drain. Goodbye

1:03:18

stress from neep. Fucking

1:03:20

over the desperate and or the dumb since 1891. Even

1:03:24

in the vein of neep, there were

1:03:26

an abundance of water therapies at Jungborn. Baths,

1:03:29

douches, gushes galore, so much gushing

1:03:31

and water douching and

1:03:33

yogurt gaping. So much shit for

1:03:35

your health. Jungborn

1:03:37

offered even more. Like Adolf

1:03:39

Ust's Earth Cure Compresses. Earth

1:03:42

baths, I have a fancy

1:03:44

way of saying just laying in some mud, barefoot walking,

1:03:48

and sleeping outdoors on the earth to expose the

1:03:50

body to the earth's magnetic current. Those

1:03:52

were some cornerstone treatments. Sleeping

1:03:55

on the ground, right? Expose your

1:03:57

body to earth's healing magnetic current for your

1:03:59

health. Actually, based

1:04:01

on the archival footage, I watched this fancy treatment

1:04:03

kind of like the gush that could be

1:04:05

easily done in your yard. You just dig

1:04:08

a grave-sized hole, but two feet deep instead of six,

1:04:11

spray it down with your therapy hose, feel the

1:04:13

dirt muddy, and lay in the mud, and that's it.

1:04:16

Voila! You're cured. You're cured of

1:04:18

whatever ails you. You're getting magnetic earth current from

1:04:21

your earth bath. Many

1:04:23

relish the so-called, their so-called earth baths

1:04:25

and their healing magnetism. Benedict Lust claimed

1:04:27

that earth baths were probably taken

1:04:30

by every patient. Okay, cool.

1:04:33

Visitors to Ewingborn were encouraged to sleep on the ground

1:04:35

to capitalize on the earth's like you said, electrical forces,

1:04:37

according to Benedict Lust. People would

1:04:39

marvel at how deeply rested they felt after sleeping

1:04:41

on the earth. Oh yeah, no, placebo effect is

1:04:43

very real. So is the social

1:04:46

pressure to tell someone exactly what they want to hear. Ewingborn

1:04:49

also prescribed nudism, groundbreaking.

1:04:53

Your clothes are stressing you out, lady. Take off

1:04:55

that blouse. Come on, toss that bra out of

1:04:57

here. Let those titties fly free. Get

1:04:59

that dress off. Ride your own bicycle around the yard. Air

1:05:02

that silly old puss out. Get

1:05:04

some mud on it when you take your dirt nap or

1:05:06

earth bath or whatever. Recalibrate it with

1:05:08

some earth magnets. Like

1:05:11

in other sanatoriums, light and air baths were

1:05:13

conducted in the open air or under electric

1:05:15

lights, but unlike in other sanatoriums, nude bathing

1:05:17

was a daily activity at Ewingborn

1:05:20

with one session in the morning. I love how they

1:05:22

describe it as a session. It's an important

1:05:24

medical treatment. I'm having a session right now. You're just

1:05:26

standing in the fucking yard naked in the mud. I

1:05:28

know. It's my mud

1:05:30

nude sun session for

1:05:32

my arthritis. You have a

1:05:34

session in the morning, another session in the afternoon, and

1:05:38

then you'd have bathing and some brooks and

1:05:40

swimming areas after that for all your

1:05:42

treatment. John Harvey

1:05:44

Kellogg would have lost his fucking mind

1:05:46

at Ewingborn. Oh my God, he'd

1:05:49

have put his dick in a cock cage faster than you

1:05:51

can say, clitoral removal. Ewingborn

1:05:53

women had their own secluded and private areas at

1:05:55

Ewingborn called the Air and Light Park. For

1:05:59

enjoying. air, you know. That's

1:06:01

the thing that only they offered was like this certain kind

1:06:03

of air. And they had a special

1:06:05

kind of sun that came into their facility. Oh

1:06:09

yeah. They wrote, each park is within a

1:06:11

pine board in stockade, 10 feet high, and

1:06:13

no casual visitor is allowed within the sacred

1:06:15

precincts. This is in the New York Press. Separate

1:06:18

sections of the 60 acres are set apart

1:06:20

for the sexes where the greatest freedom from

1:06:22

dress restrictions may be enjoyed. That's a fancy

1:06:24

way of saying just being nude. The greatest

1:06:27

freedom from dress restrictions. Yeah, just be naked.

1:06:30

Guests were even encouraged to remain nude while they slept. I

1:06:33

like that actually. I sleep naked. Not

1:06:36

sure how much it affects my health, but I do think

1:06:38

it keeps my balls from smelling. It

1:06:40

gets sweaty down there. You have to ventilate. The

1:06:42

guests at Yonge-Borne live and

1:06:44

sleep in charming and friendly little air

1:06:46

and lighthouses, which are not

1:06:48

huts and stand fully in the open air surrounded by

1:06:50

shrubs and trees. Continue with that

1:06:52

New York Press description. These air and lighthouses were

1:06:54

constructed with two rooms, one room for each guest,

1:06:56

so that each room is fully free at three

1:06:58

sides. They are provided at all

1:07:00

sides with blinds, windows, air valves, which

1:07:03

can every time be kept open or closed. According

1:07:05

to Adolf, there's an air valve. That's

1:07:09

a fancy thing. We have this special

1:07:11

health air valve that you can

1:07:13

just open it up and you'll let health air in

1:07:15

from outside. Oh, it's kind of like opening a window?

1:07:18

Seems like all this made Yonge-Borne very touchy, very

1:07:22

touchy as in a very erotic place. Hail,

1:07:24

Lusafina. Massage was freely

1:07:27

available with attendance at the service of

1:07:29

the patients for purpose of, quote, rubbing

1:07:33

and stroking the body by

1:07:35

way of applying and transferring human

1:07:38

curative power and animal heat in

1:07:41

the most natural and effective

1:07:44

manner, according to Benedict Lust.

1:07:46

Mr. Lust, indeed. No

1:07:48

dicks getting wrapped up in Kellogg's baloney bandages

1:07:51

at his sanatorium. Another

1:07:53

treatment practice on women making this

1:07:55

all the more sexual was the

1:07:57

SURE brand gynecological massage. which

1:08:00

help relieve pelvic displacements and inflammation

1:08:02

is your pelvis inflamed. Let

1:08:05

me massage your vagina. In

1:08:07

this, the doctor or therapist or random pervert would

1:08:09

put his or her finger

1:08:12

in the vagina of the patient. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

1:08:15

And simultaneously, this wasn't sex though. No. And

1:08:17

simultaneously would massage uterus from the outside with

1:08:19

the other hands. All

1:08:21

the while providing quote vibratory shaking.

1:08:24

Yeah. Yeah. No, that sounds hot. I'm sure

1:08:26

that this treatment never ever led to flat

1:08:29

out fucking or sucking. No, no way. No

1:08:31

way. Ah. Everything was above board here.

1:08:34

Just doing a little hysterical finger blasting,

1:08:36

my lady. Just testing the

1:08:38

bicycles brakes. Gotta make sure they work. Gotta

1:08:41

make sure everything's up to code. Basically,

1:08:43

through focus, though focused ostensibly

1:08:46

on health, Jungborn was a pretty sexy place

1:08:49

to live. In August, Engelhardt,

1:08:51

right, he's a part of all of this. He's

1:08:53

witnessing this. He's participating in all this. He's

1:08:56

at Jungborn. His friends are helping run it. Looking

1:08:59

at all that, it wasn't exactly crazy for him to think

1:09:01

that people might also go for

1:09:03

coca-vorism. I mean, look at what they

1:09:05

were already doing with the with the hysterical finger blasting.

1:09:08

While at Jungborn, August 1st preached about coca-vorism and

1:09:11

he had a good reception for it. So

1:09:13

much so, it gave him the confidence to

1:09:16

give talks on coca-vorism outside the confines of

1:09:18

Jungborn to the general public

1:09:20

in Leipzig and Nuremberg. And you

1:09:22

can probably imagine how that went. Not

1:09:24

well. He was ridiculed. He was

1:09:27

mocked and laughed at. And I imagine pointed at. It

1:09:29

seemed only the people who were already interested in

1:09:32

getting pretty unorthodox with their health regiments

1:09:34

were interested in hearing him out. So,

1:09:36

August reasoned, in order to properly

1:09:38

sell people on his new coconut-centric lifestyle, he

1:09:42

would need to open his own sanitarium. Except

1:09:46

August Engelhardt didn't really want to own a sanatorium.

1:09:48

Sanitarium, whatever. He didn't want to prescribe a lifestyle

1:09:50

for the sick. He wanted to prescribe a lifestyle

1:09:52

for everyone. He wanted everyone to be part of

1:09:55

his coconut club. And now

1:09:57

that he was thinking about that, he started writing. As

1:09:59

early as eight. In 1898, together with August

1:10:01

Bethman, his new friend he had met at Duneborn,

1:10:04

and a self-proclaimed nature writer who would later join him in

1:10:06

New Guinea, Engelhardt published a

1:10:08

book called A Carefree Future, The

1:10:10

New Gospel. It

1:10:14

would become the blueprint for the Son of

1:10:16

Norden, its manifesto of sorts. And

1:10:19

a passage of this literary,

1:10:22

highly valued book

1:10:24

read, The

1:10:27

Corkovoristic Son-Man is

1:10:30

man as he should be. Living

1:10:33

in harmony with God, he

1:10:35

receives everything straight from the hands

1:10:37

of his God, the kind-hearted Son.

1:10:41

He stores solar power with

1:10:43

his eyes, hair, and

1:10:45

skin. He thus needs

1:10:47

only a small amount of oxygen. Gentle

1:10:50

air makes light, makes alive.

1:10:54

Agile. Elastically. The

1:10:57

stay under, the permanent

1:11:00

bright sky embedded into

1:11:02

an evergreen flora is

1:11:05

most suited for mankind, especially

1:11:07

for intellectual activities.

1:11:11

The Coconut is

1:11:13

the Philosopher's Stone. Compared

1:11:16

to our universities, compared

1:11:19

with such a lifestyle. Yeah, why go to

1:11:22

school? You could

1:11:24

fucking just eat coconut. It's the

1:11:26

same. You learn more eating

1:11:29

a coconut and being out of

1:11:31

the sun than from any books you could ever read. What

1:11:34

was that? Was that a weird poem? Was that

1:11:36

the Musings of someone with a head full of

1:11:39

acid? No, it was August Engelhardt's sharing his

1:11:41

coconut and sun-laden vision for

1:11:43

the future development of mankind. If

1:11:46

only man could survive long-term off coconuts alone.

1:11:49

We'll see how an attempt to do so worked

1:11:51

out for August Engelhardt himself. But first, let's take

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I'm back, coconuts. Time to look

1:15:43

into just how nutritious coconuts are and

1:15:45

how despite overall being really good for you, they

1:15:48

will still leave you with some pretty significant

1:15:51

nutritional deficits that long

1:15:54

term will have disastrous consequences for your health. Coconuts

1:15:58

are a pretty decent source of calories. calories,

1:16:00

if that's what you're looking

1:16:02

for, 283 calories per cup of shredded coconut meat.

1:16:05

The fruit or meat of a medium coconut contains about

1:16:07

1400 calories. On a 2000 calorie diet, you

1:16:11

don't have to eat about one and a half coconuts a day. In

1:16:14

1996 calories of coconut, about

1:16:17

as much as an average person would need in a day, you'd

1:16:19

get 164 grams of fat, 131 grams

1:16:23

of carbohydrates, 27 grams of protein, and you'd have

1:16:25

seven and a half cups of water from the

1:16:27

coconut milk. Both essential

1:16:29

fatty acids are deficient in coconut

1:16:32

cell with omega 6, barely being

1:16:34

within a minimally accepted range, omega

1:16:36

3 completely absent, very

1:16:38

long term that'll be a problem. Body

1:16:40

fat breakdown can supply the essential fatty acids

1:16:42

for quite a while assuming your diet wasn't

1:16:44

deficient in either before you found yourself in

1:16:46

a coconut only fucking crazy town environment like

1:16:49

being stranded on an island. Total protein

1:16:51

is also too low but it's high enough that

1:16:53

you know you would probably die if you

1:16:55

were stranded of something else before it became

1:16:58

a fatal problem. You'd also increase

1:17:00

caloric intake to around 3500-4000 calories

1:17:02

per day which is probably

1:17:04

what would be required of you anyways if you were

1:17:06

trying to survive on an island and

1:17:09

then your protein requirements would be minimally met. All

1:17:12

essential amino acids are very close to the WHO

1:17:14

recommendations even at only 27 grams of

1:17:16

protein and all are easily exceeded

1:17:18

at a 3500-4000 calorie intake. It

1:17:21

is a pretty amazing food. Calcium

1:17:23

and zinc are high enough that they probably

1:17:26

won't be an issue before something else is plus neither

1:17:28

one is really critical for short term survival only long

1:17:30

term health. Your body

1:17:32

can store years of B12 so assuming

1:17:34

your diet wasn't only coconuts or otherwise

1:17:36

deficient before you got stranded that

1:17:38

wouldn't be the first problem to arise either. The

1:17:41

liver stores about one to two years worth of

1:17:43

vitamin A did not know that so

1:17:46

assuming you weren't deficient to begin with vitamin A deficiency

1:17:49

probably not going to be an issue for some time. That

1:17:51

leaves only vitamin E, vitamin K,

1:17:53

niacin and pantothenic acid

1:17:56

as likely candidates for the first life threatening

1:17:58

deficiencies you have to face. Nice

1:18:01

in deficiency can lead to palagra in four

1:18:03

to five years and palagra not pretty. Palagra

1:18:06

symptoms include inflamed skin, diarrhea, dementia,

1:18:08

sores in the mouth. Areas

1:18:11

of the skin exposed to either sunlight or friction are

1:18:13

typically affected first. Over time affected

1:18:15

skin may become darker, stiffened, peel and bleed.

1:18:18

In terms of other nutrients, pantothenic

1:18:21

acid deficiency is extremely rare and the

1:18:23

complications associated with it are not life-threatening.

1:18:26

Gut bacteria can also synthesize their

1:18:28

own pantothenic acid, although the

1:18:30

amount of this pantothenic acid that humans can actually

1:18:32

absorb is unknown. You also get

1:18:35

a notable amount of vitamin K from gut

1:18:37

fermentation, but it's unclear if

1:18:39

coconuts alone can provide the necessary

1:18:41

precursors required to facilitate and

1:18:43

or maximize that synthesis. Symptomatic

1:18:46

vitamin E deficiency is unlikely in adults, so short-term

1:18:48

survival probably would not be compromised from a lack

1:18:50

of vitamin E. All things considered,

1:18:52

you probably wouldn't begin to show symptomatic deficiency for at

1:18:55

least six months and that would

1:18:57

be from lack of B vitamins in general. If

1:18:59

you could find a source of B vitamins, any type of meat,

1:19:02

you would greatly increase your chance of

1:19:04

long-term survival. If you did

1:19:06

not get enough vitamin B, you can and

1:19:08

likely will eventually encounter very severe symptoms like

1:19:10

memory loss, depression, skin

1:19:13

infections, rheumatoid arthritis, brain damage,

1:19:15

mouth ulcers, muscle fatigue and

1:19:17

a bunch of other terrible shit before heart failure kills you.

1:19:21

We do need a variety of

1:19:23

nutrients to stay alive long-term, but

1:19:25

August Engelhardt did not know that. For

1:19:28

him it was coconuts or busts. So

1:19:31

where was August to form his coconut community, his

1:19:33

coco community? Originally he thought

1:19:36

about Germany, but then the Jüngborn facilities were

1:19:38

shut down. Nudism at the time in

1:19:40

Germany, as it turns out, was considered illegal and immoral.

1:19:43

And August's friend Adolf Jüst will be

1:19:45

convicted of improper activities as a naturopath

1:19:47

and sent to prison. Now

1:19:49

Engelhardt starts setting the sights further afield. In

1:19:52

early 1902, some sources say the summer,

1:19:54

our main source says early 1902, After

1:19:57

serving for one year in the 14th Infantry Regiment,

1:20:00

Now twenty six year old August single

1:20:02

heart or leave Germany for New Guinea

1:20:04

ready to make his ideas or reality.

1:20:07

Actually, Didn't have do are hidden only leads to

1:20:09

me to chase his dreams. Whatever it have used was

1:20:11

sent to prison for a charlatan ism know he was

1:20:13

worried about that been set it happening to him as

1:20:16

well or before he left he still needed to prepare

1:20:18

for one thing you need of resources to buy land

1:20:20

for com you. And. He also

1:20:22

had to make some people believe in

1:20:24

him back in Europe who would be

1:20:26

recruiting for him. Then when he left

1:20:28

for his you know coconut paradise states

1:20:30

his apostles, some some coconut apostle, some

1:20:32

Coke apostles, Some. Apostle Nuts. So

1:20:34

my death. His. First

1:20:36

depot cheese would be Heinrich Engelhard brother.

1:20:39

Allen. Smite her and Alexander

1:20:41

Frederick from Vienna. Those.

1:20:44

Remembered Help published Aug Letters, leaflets, an advertisement

1:20:46

as well as sell his books. When he

1:20:48

was brought. With that august to

1:20:50

lay the foundation for his Brotherhood of Sun Worshippers,

1:20:52

which he now name the Order of the Sun.

1:20:55

Sick. Would Total Settlers Association? So.

1:20:58

How was all this? Venture

1:21:00

to come to enemy finances. Such a crazy

1:21:02

plan. It's. It's unclear.

1:21:05

But. We assume the August probably inherited money

1:21:07

from his parents. A doesn't see that

1:21:09

he ever worked. Other than writing

1:21:11

and his writing was never remotely

1:21:13

popular. So. Couldn't have been that

1:21:16

lucrative. As. A whole harebrained

1:21:18

coconut planet is reeks of trust

1:21:20

one money. Somehow.

1:21:22

Again, problems parents, money or the funds

1:21:24

from some other relatives, August manages to

1:21:27

troublesome Germy all the way to South

1:21:29

Pacific. He'd

1:21:31

have spent enormous sum of money simply pack it

1:21:34

up in shipping is library, which he did. He

1:21:36

doesn't. He's difference or some other effects and

1:21:38

Nuremberg or that's your to He wrote a

1:21:41

letter to Mr and Mrs. Sore Yell. Those

1:21:43

folks who historians think we're probably system Roma

1:21:45

saying I will not return. I will not

1:21:47

return home in the next two to three

1:21:49

years. While. He'll he'll end up being got

1:21:51

a lot longer than that. In. The summer

1:21:53

of Ninety or to enlarge arrives at Herbert. So.

1:21:55

Now. Cocoa and German New Guinea. Herbert.

1:21:59

So odd name. After the eldest son

1:22:01

of Otto Von Bismarck was the headquarters the

1:22:03

German Colonial Administration and of the German gov

1:22:05

that time. And. So was

1:22:07

a natural starting point for every German coming to German New

1:22:09

Guinea. Still, If it wasn't much.

1:22:12

Or this is what would have typically

1:22:14

been experienced by a new European visitor.

1:22:16

Arrive in the seat of the colonial

1:22:18

administration in Germany getting. Coming.

1:22:21

Along the East coast of New Britain

1:22:23

second largest island, South Seas, and through

1:22:25

St. George's Channel. The. Steam or would

1:22:27

enter Blanche Bay. Long. Be on the

1:22:29

Gazelle Peninsula named after the German survey

1:22:31

ship S. M. S. Gazelle, which had

1:22:33

surveyed the heritage and seventy four. On

1:22:36

board the past year, standing out on the deck would

1:22:38

be greeted by the intense green of the rain force.

1:22:41

The. Glittering see in the bay and the hot tropical

1:22:43

sun. On reaching the entrance of the

1:22:45

bay, It would feel as if the

1:22:47

sun's intensity had suddenly increased as the fresh sea

1:22:49

breeze would give way to the hot and humid

1:22:52

climate of the tropics. Within a few minutes people

1:22:54

would begin to sweat. Men was are taken out

1:22:56

there has to have their faces. Ladies begin defend

1:22:58

themselves. The. Temperature here very

1:23:00

throughout the day from about seventy seven

1:23:02

to eighty five degrees Fahrenheit Us throughout

1:23:04

the year. Doesn't. Very much.

1:23:06

The record low was sixty five degrees, but

1:23:09

the average the with seventy eight degrees. Record.

1:23:11

High as Ninety would advertise, Ninety

1:23:14

Four Degrees of usually varies by

1:23:16

about yelp seventy eight degrees year

1:23:18

round. You know, throughout the day

1:23:20

or night, all seasons really isn't seasons

1:23:22

here are the humidity varies a lot

1:23:24

less is right around seventy eight all

1:23:26

day everyday. your route. With.

1:23:29

That temperature and see tombo is busy and I feel

1:23:31

like is between eighty one hundred degrees. Every

1:23:34

single fucking day. Without. Without

1:23:36

accepted. Or between

1:23:39

twenty seven, thirty eight degrees Celsius, It's

1:23:41

sweaty. It's fucking sweaty. ball sack. Weather

1:23:43

is all the time. Day and night

1:23:45

standing on the landing sage waiting for

1:23:47

the passengers disembark, or half naked native

1:23:49

porters, the skin shimmering with a sweat

1:23:52

in the sunlight, a number of Europeans

1:23:54

and or white tropical suits. Is.

1:23:56

European resins the colony would always gather what to

1:23:58

ship arrives as it's around well with a social

1:24:00

event. Also. Many would be

1:24:02

a waiting for a new employer, other business

1:24:05

interests, perhaps a loved one to arrive. And

1:24:08

dander, Everyone would be hoping that the

1:24:10

unloaded the mailbags meant receiving letters and

1:24:12

loved ones are correspondences from you know,

1:24:14

out business reno lazy of their business

1:24:17

relationships and if not. Then. They

1:24:19

at least would wanna hear news and gossip from home

1:24:21

or elsewhere and world. Scrub, Europeans

1:24:23

lol Zola! Be thirsty for the lively

1:24:25

pleasures the ship was bringing, such as

1:24:27

good cold German beer and fresh meat.

1:24:30

Some might be so excited they might Roka news

1:24:32

out of the ship as it entered the bay.

1:24:35

Climbing aboard to stand on deck with a cold,

1:24:37

bought a bottle of beer and hands. Soon.

1:24:39

Joined by other European residents, the travelers would

1:24:42

head to join the captain's officers. The dining

1:24:44

room. If the ship had once

1:24:46

in a little send all celebration. The. Be

1:24:48

a friendly chat and of course more cold

1:24:50

drinks. Did miss for so long normally be

1:24:52

the chances sequence teeth into a good piece

1:24:54

of meat which otherwise was hard to combine

1:24:56

the colony of set of fish. as for

1:24:58

the pleasures of the colony does about it.

1:25:01

The. Main building a small town of Herbert Ah was

1:25:03

the post office. Built. In June

1:25:05

of eighty Nine to twelve years earlier. That's a lot

1:25:07

When the. With who

1:25:09

was believes in your entire follies. It's like

1:25:12

a post office was also. Small two storey

1:25:14

hotel with a wide ports. Smattering.

1:25:17

Of to stories a smattering of private

1:25:19

plantation surrounded and I was about it.

1:25:22

Development. New Guinea was a slow because the

1:25:24

German government didn't even form and over the

1:25:26

area until April first. Eighty Ninety Nine. When.

1:25:29

It became clear that private sources would not be

1:25:31

able to finance a necessary development within the calling.

1:25:33

As they were focused on trying to run your

1:25:35

turn over a profit for themselves with the plantations.

1:25:38

Was. Private sources were plantation owners germans

1:25:40

who oversaw the production sale of

1:25:42

Cobra and helped make great fortunes

1:25:45

on the remote Pacific islands. One.

1:25:47

Was people. was Emma Forces noticed Queen

1:25:49

Emma in her retell. Surrender.

1:25:52

Force a company The premier plantation on

1:25:54

the island. Solely. Come up

1:25:56

again as a means for these years Reference

1:25:58

once forget, which is interesting. The your. And

1:26:00

her life is worth just a slight diversion. Born.

1:26:03

Amoco. September Twenty six, eighteen, Sixty per

1:26:05

Father was an American commercial agent to

1:26:07

move to Samoa and eighteen, Thirty eight,

1:26:09

whereupon he married, according to one account,

1:26:12

six different Simone women. And. Then

1:26:14

fathered eighteen children. Emma

1:26:16

was one of those kids allegedly the daughter of

1:26:18

a Simone princess. She. Then grown

1:26:20

up in the Us with relatives of the

1:26:22

age of eleven than return to Samoa. jaded

1:26:24

my team where her father now a consul

1:26:26

married her off to James Force as a

1:26:28

ship's officer. For. Say it's established multiple

1:26:30

trading post before he was last see and emma

1:26:33

continue where he left off. When

1:26:35

Colonel Steinberger, a representative of American President

1:26:37

Ulysses as Grant arrive in similar. She.

1:26:40

Became his personal assistants, And

1:26:42

have her father got deported? Ever fallen out of favor

1:26:44

with local Samoans. mls similar with

1:26:47

her lover lover James Feral.

1:26:49

And. The two headed to the Islands of New

1:26:51

Britain and New Ireland to trade top rope

1:26:54

with the local population for beads, tobacco, knives,

1:26:56

mirrors, Emma and James for I

1:26:58

would even help people who got swindled by the

1:27:00

French Marty to raise who had said he would

1:27:02

set up a colony for them of the south

1:27:04

eastern tip of did a new Ireland in exchange

1:27:06

for their life savings. When. For

1:27:08

ships carrying the would be colonists, about five hundred

1:27:10

people arrived the island to buy, nothing waiting for

1:27:13

them. Emma and arranged for them to

1:27:15

move to Australia while the raise was tried

1:27:17

and found guilty of fraud in France. And

1:27:20

a city one. and the became interested in land

1:27:22

around the Gazelle peninsula of New Britain and started

1:27:24

to break things off. A James Feral who continued

1:27:26

trading. Emma. Bought the land

1:27:28

from the local chiefs and with the

1:27:30

assistance of her Danish brother law, Richard

1:27:32

Parkinson. Even down the South Pacific and

1:27:34

late nineteenth century will find a dick. And.

1:27:37

She set up a large coconut and cocoa

1:27:39

plantation around Herbert, though. There. Should

1:27:41

be some well known for her charismatic

1:27:43

personalities extravagant parties which he sometimes organize

1:27:46

with the help of her niece's. It.

1:27:48

Was During this period she became known as the Queen of

1:27:50

New Guinea. And. Emma was z

1:27:52

person to talk to if he had any

1:27:54

business interest in this area. Surrender.

1:27:56

Shit. And. Ah, September thirteenth?

1:27:58

nice know to some sort. The October Seconds

1:28:01

with M as help August

1:28:03

Engelhard becomes the new owner

1:28:05

of Comecon. The. Southwestern island

1:28:07

of the Duke of York group Violence

1:28:09

north of Humberto. Some sources

1:28:11

say he was just the owner of a plantation

1:28:13

on campus on not the whole island. Either

1:28:16

way, he paid around forty one thousand marks. According

1:28:19

of random historical currency exchange and

1:28:21

inflation calculators online. That's.

1:28:24

About three hundred thousand dollars today. but Atlas

1:28:26

with the Saddle believe that. Is

1:28:28

how much was. It was enough to buy a bunch

1:28:30

of land. your new colony were almost no other Germans

1:28:32

wanted to live. Or he

1:28:35

began making his own. Their October

1:28:37

second as the only white person

1:28:39

amongst forty indigenous Melanesian and Solomon

1:28:41

Island workers' Comp. A com

1:28:43

was twenty miles from her Brazil. Scrappy

1:28:45

was one hundred and eighty five acres. The.

1:28:47

Other one hundred twenty three acres of

1:28:49

the island were protected or were a

1:28:51

protected nature reservations inhabited by natives. Topic

1:28:54

on had been cultivated by the force a

1:28:56

company since eighteen eighties mean is the coconut

1:28:58

trees that Engelhard Crave had already been planted.

1:29:01

Am he had it not been? I'm sure he would have not

1:29:03

bought that plantation. Was also a

1:29:05

Jedi where he could greet visitors as

1:29:07

well as a large said we could

1:29:09

stuart's Oprah as it dried. The only

1:29:11

additional building was one Engelhard build himself

1:29:13

a little wooden huts built according to

1:29:15

letters in a European style and that's

1:29:17

all we know about we all was

1:29:19

it is was a little hot. Bills.

1:29:22

And a European style. Deli

1:29:24

didn't have electricity or plumbing or a

1:29:27

know fans or for generator know know

1:29:29

like wave or know pantyhose snacks. Is.

1:29:31

A little hut with roasted know tips

1:29:34

it drama range. And as

1:29:36

the beach we are those in jungle

1:29:38

and fucked out of coconuts. His.

1:29:40

Little Hut mainly housed Inglehart Library.

1:29:43

So. Nice is something read Pretty

1:29:45

spartan living conditions. Aguilar

1:29:48

himself would spend most of the test

1:29:50

run around naked. And. Live in

1:29:52

exclusively on a diet of fruits. Above

1:29:54

all coconuts, Since. You didn't

1:29:56

have to work as the island labor's to tear. That. Assumes

1:29:58

that plenty of time on. Him a letter

1:30:01

to a friend on June seventeenth

1:30:03

Knights No three. He would describe

1:30:05

his daily life like this: At

1:30:08

five thirty am, my bell calls me.

1:30:11

That. It is up the laborers call

1:30:13

in their tasks allocated and me. I.

1:30:15

Get ready to write. And Edu

1:30:17

uses time to sit on his philosophy

1:30:19

and right especially as lossy about the

1:30:21

coconuts and the sun. And

1:30:24

Inglehart way of thinking. The coconut was, as I

1:30:26

mentioned, the Philosophers stone. Or the

1:30:28

panacea. Which. Makes men what he once

1:30:30

was and what he has to be Again, the

1:30:32

image of got. Very

1:30:34

high price for a fruity tree. Not. Saying.

1:30:37

Are maintained that the power of God was to

1:30:39

be found the sun and by exposing one's body

1:30:42

to it in existence died of fruits found growing

1:30:44

close to a man could live in harmony with.

1:30:47

And. Also depended on the amount of

1:30:49

melanin in your skin be some burned as

1:30:51

fuck. To. Start off as

1:30:53

island as a. Fruit

1:30:55

of or. But. Soon after developing some

1:30:57

sort of ulcer on his right leg clearly

1:31:00

brought on. By. A city banana or

1:31:02

manga, not a coconut. He

1:31:04

doubted of coconut model died. He.

1:31:06

Blamed other nasty as tropical fruit,

1:31:08

subpar fruits, nettles, fruits, his condition.

1:31:12

Was get a man a Saxon book, some

1:31:14

paper pens, lot coconuts Wilson eight. And.

1:31:17

Are claimed he did start to feel better. After.

1:31:19

The Unity only coconuts. But

1:31:21

it was lonely. And letter written

1:31:24

to a friend in Germany and unseal three And

1:31:26

a hard say to that after thirty months alone

1:31:28

without a soul to confide with with our people

1:31:30

around me, understand I'm sick of being alone. He.

1:31:33

Displayed by his friends and family to come

1:31:35

stay with him in topic on for quote

1:31:37

at least a year. presumably.

1:31:40

That offer was her down. Ah yeah,

1:31:42

but it reeks of our desperation. A

1:31:45

Dearest Adolf, you must come visit. I

1:31:47

have nothing but organise a company. But.

1:31:49

Everything else is perfect. the sound is grand,

1:31:51

the weather is at, it's pretty neat, and

1:31:53

I never have to do larger dishes. so

1:31:56

say. Save. elisa a year you

1:31:58

have to say volusia always been together,

1:32:00

eating coconuts by the ocean. We

1:32:02

can do that every day for at least a year

1:32:04

and read books and write things. There's quite literally nothing

1:32:07

else to do, but we'd have fun for at least

1:32:09

a year. Inglehart did

1:32:11

consider leaving Cabot-Con and give it up on his dream

1:32:13

forever, but before long his situation

1:32:15

would change. His old buddy

1:32:17

August Bethman, who had been preaching the good work,

1:32:20

good word back in Germany, had

1:32:22

found two friends that now agreed to join the

1:32:24

Son of Norden. In December

1:32:26

of 1903, the first coconut disciple arrives

1:32:29

on the island. The first coca-cyple,

1:32:31

the first, the sign-up. It

1:32:34

was Heinrich Alkins. It's going

1:32:36

to be a lot of Heinrichs in the story. A young man

1:32:38

who with his strong build, blond hair and blue eyes, looked

1:32:41

like the German archetype that would soon become very

1:32:43

popular with a certain political movement in Germany over

1:32:45

the next couple of decades. He

1:32:48

was athletic and well-educated, but then

1:32:50

after only six weeks on the island, he, well,

1:32:53

he died. He overdosed

1:32:55

on coconuts, kind of. He

1:32:58

tried to replicate Kellogg's yogurt enema health

1:33:00

regiment but with a coconut. He

1:33:03

ate coconuts while shoving an

1:33:05

equal amount of coconut up his ass

1:33:07

and eventually his stomach cocosploted. No,

1:33:10

it's unclear what led Heinrich to his doom. January

1:33:12

27, 1904, but a

1:33:14

German medical officer would speculate that Heinrich had,

1:33:17

quote, been infected with malaria,

1:33:19

fever during his short stay, which

1:33:21

he naturally did not treat with quinine, probably

1:33:23

due to the impact of the sun. Right

1:33:25

after his arrival, he went around barefoot and naked, which

1:33:31

had a damaging effect on his cerebral

1:33:33

membrane. So he got malaria and

1:33:35

then he ran around naked like a maniac until he

1:33:37

had a heat stroke. Once again, August Engelhardt was

1:33:40

alone. But after toughing

1:33:42

it out some more, like he's fucking Tom Hanks in

1:33:44

Castaway, except not actually trapped, he could leave, things

1:33:46

began to look up. December

1:33:48

24, 1904, Engelhardt reports to friends back in

1:33:51

Germany that he'd been joined by another adventurer,

1:33:54

Max Lutzau, who was kind of

1:33:56

a celebrity back in Germany. To friends,

1:33:58

Engelhardt bragged about the director of music. piano

1:34:00

and violin virtuoso,

1:34:04

last in Naples Palermo, tunis Cairo,

1:34:06

who was now sharing Cap-a-con with

1:34:08

him. How delightful. Gotta be grand.

1:34:10

It'll be a Peach Melba night. I

1:34:12

bet he prepared a lavish welcome to Cap-a-con meal with him.

1:34:15

Somebody fucking coconut. Coconut salad. But just

1:34:17

eat a coconut, of course. Mashed coconut,

1:34:20

slightly salted coconut, aka coconut

1:34:22

dipped in the ocean. Unsalted coconut. Slightly

1:34:24

more ripe than a regular coconut coconut.

1:34:26

A little bit less ripe coconut. It'd

1:34:29

be a real coca-coca-cocapopia of

1:34:32

coca-cocapillary delights. August

1:34:34

gleefully speculated that more people would soon come

1:34:37

once he realized that cities were quote rocky

1:34:39

graveyards. Okay. And that living

1:34:41

naked the whole time, on an

1:34:43

almost exclusive set of fruits and above all the holy

1:34:45

coconut, was the way to go. Okay.

1:34:47

All right, buddy. So

1:34:50

why was this semi-celebrity there with him? In

1:34:52

the words of Albert Hoffman, a missionary who knew him,

1:34:55

Lutzau was quote, a musical genius who in

1:34:57

his younger days had already, wherever he performed,

1:35:00

earned praise and unbelievable sums of money through

1:35:02

his marvelous plane. This was

1:35:04

how he was able to indulge in all sorts

1:35:06

of excesses. Nothing human was unknown to him. His

1:35:09

restless spirit had led him through all the capitals

1:35:11

of Europe. In Italy, his body, harmed by his

1:35:13

excessive lifestyle, finally broke down. And he was brought

1:35:15

to a German hospital where he had to rest

1:35:17

for a long time. At

1:35:19

this hospital, he got a hold of the Theosophical

1:35:22

writings of Dr. Engelhardt, who was not a doctor,

1:35:25

which he ravenously read. In these

1:35:27

writings, he thought he had found what his soul had thirsted

1:35:29

for. Once he was on Cabacon,

1:35:31

together with his son brothers, then

1:35:35

he would be able to find music freed from

1:35:37

the material world. Okay.

1:35:40

The exchange worked out well for Engelhardt, who

1:35:42

now had the ideal advocate for the lifestyle

1:35:44

of the son of Norden. Max

1:35:47

seems to like it too. After two months, he wrote in

1:35:49

a journal, he

1:35:51

wrote to a journal, excuse me, in

1:35:53

Leipzig, claiming, Cabacon has exceeded

1:35:56

all my expectations. I can think of

1:35:58

no place more suitable than this. one

1:36:00

for vegetarians. I am absolutely

1:36:02

delighted by Caboton and never had I

1:36:04

expected to find such a place on

1:36:06

this earth which could satisfy my idealistic

1:36:08

requirements so perfectly. I cannot think of

1:36:10

any better living conditions. Thanks

1:36:12

to this, the son of Norden now

1:36:15

grew. Everyone went fucking

1:36:17

coconut crazy. Okay, maybe not

1:36:19

everyone, but definitely like a few dozen

1:36:21

people over several years would

1:36:23

go coconuts. According to

1:36:25

some reports, it drew more than 30 followers at its height, but

1:36:28

that may have included visitors who just came by to

1:36:30

fucking people. Lutzau in Inglehart

1:36:32

became something of an advertising power doer

1:36:35

now with postcards featuring pictures of

1:36:37

them and the phrase, what do

1:36:39

you think my dear, shall we also settle here being

1:36:41

circulated back in Germany, spend

1:36:43

more of that trust fund cash and best in it

1:36:46

so wisely. But then

1:36:48

in early 1905, Max Lutzau falls seriously

1:36:50

ill. Weird. He

1:36:52

eventually decides to visit the German colonial hospital

1:36:54

at Herbatou, which lay 22 miles away

1:36:57

by sea. But on his way

1:36:59

there, the boat of the Methodist mission on which

1:37:01

he was traveling got caught in a strong northwesterly

1:37:03

storm. And despite the fact that his Melanesian companions

1:37:05

succeeded in bringing the boat to land to safety

1:37:08

on the small island of Lemas, Lutzau

1:37:10

died there of exhaustion. And

1:37:13

I do have to wonder if his exhaustion was brought

1:37:15

on by malnutrition. His death

1:37:17

gave an ironic confirmation to one letter he'd published in

1:37:19

Germany, in which he had said, I have

1:37:21

the firm belief that everyone who comes here will

1:37:23

stay. Yeah, a lot of people will

1:37:25

stay there. A lot of people will die. In the

1:37:27

months that followed, other members of the Son of

1:37:30

Norden started getting cold feet. One of

1:37:32

them was Heinrich Conrad, a furrier from Metz, who had

1:37:34

arrived in July of 1905. He

1:37:37

also came down with malaria in November,

1:37:40

like the first guy. And

1:37:42

when he eventually recovered, he decided to hightail it back

1:37:44

to Germany in December. Another was

1:37:46

Wilhelm Hein from Berlin, who

1:37:48

died in January 1906 when his boat capsized. A

1:37:51

lot of these guys, too weak to swim. So

1:37:54

exhausted from nothing but you know, all that fruit. Yet

1:37:57

another was an Englishman by the name of H.

1:37:59

M. Robson from Newcastle. He

1:38:02

later came back to visit, but each time he came back to

1:38:04

visit, he would find the island less populated than

1:38:06

his previous visit. It was never that

1:38:09

populated. Then it just seemed

1:38:11

that the sun anointed and finally sunk

1:38:13

to un-comebackable lows. More new members arrived.

1:38:15

Oh, it's a coca-comeback!

1:38:19

They were led by who else but August Bethmann, who

1:38:21

arrived on the island with his fiancée and a Schwab. The

1:38:24

three quickly put their heads together to figure

1:38:26

out how to draw more colonists and decided

1:38:29

to found a publishing company called... ...Reformerlag, Engelhardt

1:38:31

and Bethmann. Seems like

1:38:33

a tough location to run a publishing company from. Bit

1:38:35

remote. I'm guessing they were going to base it back in

1:38:37

Germany. They also increased their

1:38:39

advertising campaign, stressing that the coconut was the

1:38:42

only essential means of sustenance... ...and

1:38:44

donated copies of their coca-vorism literature

1:38:47

to school libraries. Oh, those lucky kids. The

1:38:50

further Engelhardt's philosophy developed, the more dramatic was

1:38:52

his testimony. He claimed now

1:38:54

that the noblest organ of the human body was the brain because it

1:38:56

was nearest to the sun. And he

1:38:59

denied that such a noble part of the body could

1:39:01

possibly receive its strength from the deep and dirty digestive

1:39:03

tract. He thinks the brain

1:39:05

is powered exclusively by sunlight. Our

1:39:08

scalp is just a solar panel that powers our

1:39:10

brain. That's the kind of thing that someone

1:39:12

would think if they had been, I don't know, living

1:39:14

on an island for years. Mostly

1:39:16

alone. Running around naked, eating only coconuts.

1:39:19

How much has he started to fucking hate the taste of coconuts, by the way?

1:39:22

Who could eat the exact same thing for years? He

1:39:25

suggested instead that the brain receives its energy from hair roots,

1:39:30

which in turn are powered by sunlight. Okay?

1:39:33

Does that mean that, like, bald guys are smarter than everyone else?

1:39:36

Right? So much direct,

1:39:38

mind-powering sun fuel feeding their

1:39:40

cocadums. Not sure

1:39:42

how that advertising went over, but things

1:39:44

are somehow still going well. Apparently,

1:39:47

the son of Norden was becoming kind of well-known. The

1:39:49

New York Times actually wrote an article about it in

1:39:51

early 1906. That

1:39:53

went in part, his plan was

1:39:55

to have his sect worship the sun. He

1:39:57

held that man was a tropical animal. Not in ten

1:40:00

years. to live in caves called houses, but

1:40:02

to wander as Adam did, with the sun being upon

1:40:04

him all day, and the dews of heaven for a

1:40:06

mantle at night. Living such a

1:40:08

life, he believed that the healing and curative powers

1:40:10

of the sun would in time render a man

1:40:12

so immune that sickness could be overcome." Morale

1:40:16

was up for the followers too. On April

1:40:18

21, 1906, follower August Bessman wrote

1:40:20

this bizarre letter to friends and family back in

1:40:22

Germany. This

1:40:24