Aliens excavating the charred remiains of Earth uncover a podcast recording they date to the late 30th Century. Hyper-inflation means that a holiday mishap has serious financial implications for Corination Street's Des Barnes when he picks up the wrong bag at the airport. Retired Premiership footballers are enjoying lucrative careers in adult entertainment, and the Christmas TV schedule has a dark edge.

Paul introduces TF fans to his new girlfriend whose former lovers include Charlton Heston and "Bubbles".