0:00

In high school, I had a big crush

0:02

on my friend's big brother. She had told

0:04

me that he was obsessed with the Transformers

0:06

movie, like the Megan

0:08

Fox Shia LaBeouf one. So I

0:11

did not watch the movie. That

0:14

wasn't my strategy. I found a

0:16

shirt that had a Transformers thing

0:18

on it. And the only time

0:20

him and I really saw each other was when I had gym

0:22

class. He

0:26

had maybe some maybe gym

0:28

as well. But we would see each

0:30

other outside. And so I wore this

0:32

Transformers shirt for gym every

0:35

day. And then

0:37

I stopped wearing it at some point because I found

0:39

out this other guy that I also sort of had

0:41

a crush on started calling me Transformer Girl. And

0:45

I'm like, I haven't even seen the movie. I'm

0:47

trying to I'm working on something else right now.

0:49

And then now I'm getting lumped into this whole

0:51

other thing. And so, yeah,

0:53

I didn't hook up with either of them. It

0:55

was a bit of a flop of a project.

1:01

Kalila. Yes, Skims.

1:03

This is my Skims voice. Hi,

1:05

Skims. You guys can shop

1:07

the Skims T-shirt shop at

1:10

skims.com now available

1:12

in sizes extra, extra small to 4X.

1:15

And if you haven't yet, be sure to let

1:17

them know we sent you. After

1:19

you place your order, select podcast in

1:21

the survey and select our show in

1:23

the dropdown menu. That follows Skims.

1:31

Are you targeting this question at Sophie

1:33

because of, you

1:35

know, I'm targeting this question at our

1:37

producer, Stella. You like what you see?

1:39

Do you want a cup? I

1:43

would be intimidated. Like, I think I actually

1:46

could go ahead. What were you saying about

1:48

Stella? How would you approach? How

1:51

would you approach Esther? Well, I know Esther's

1:53

approach already. Do you? What would you do?

1:56

You offer yours up first. OK, we don't have to

1:58

bring that. I'm a mom. It doesn't have to

2:01

come up every week that we record

2:03

the show. I mean, I don't know the

2:05

history. It's just, let's

2:07

just move on. What about Stella?

2:09

Let's think this about Stella today. But

2:11

now I'm left out, what's the history of your

2:13

boobs? I just showed her my boobs and was

2:16

like, oh, will you show me yours? And I

2:18

think she said no. I did say no. I

2:20

mean, that's because I hated my implants at that

2:22

time. Oh, okay. You had your implants

2:24

then? It was insecurity related. It wasn't because of you.

2:26

Thank you. Wow. That

2:28

was really maternal of you to point that out. Thank you. Oh

2:30

my gosh. I had, um, I do

2:32

have heaving motherly breasts. So

2:37

Stella and I had a titty moment

2:39

where she was like, wow, your boobs.

2:41

And I was like, here, touch them.

2:44

Touch them. Yeah. And

2:46

she didn't know where to place her

2:48

hands. The thing is, I understand that

2:50

because I'm not shy. I'm not a

2:52

shy person. I'm a comedian. I have

2:54

lots of like really sexy, dirty jokes,

2:56

but I do feel like if a

2:58

cool, you know, cool hottie was like,

3:00

no, touch them. I would be so,

3:02

I would blush. What if

3:04

it was someone not cool? Then I'd

3:06

be like, sure. A little potato pancake.

3:09

Because I feel like that's very like

3:12

bathroom, like bar bathroom

3:14

girl talk. Bar bathroom. I

3:16

was thinking like high school change room

3:19

after gym. Yeah.

3:21

Esther. No, really.

3:23

Can't relate. What do you mean? Of

3:25

course I can relate. I, I

3:27

just, you know, I'm so different now.

3:30

This conversation, I guess, yeah, I can't relate anymore.

3:32

It's for your Christian now. Yeah. I

3:34

know. I am like religious now. You

3:37

live for the Lord, of course. We have to introduce our

3:39

guest because she is the funniest

3:41

stand-up comedian working right now. I

3:44

just, I discovered you. No,

3:46

you did. But when I, when I did discover you

3:48

at the improv, I feel like you came out of

3:50

nowhere and I was like, who is this girl?

3:52

She's so funny. And then I found out

3:54

you had just moved from Canada, I think. Yes. And

3:57

can we say your job? Yeah. The

4:00

monologue writer on after midnight, which is like

4:02

the funniest show where we're fans. I was

4:05

on it you weren't there yet, but next

4:07

time and She's

4:09

a hilarious stand-up Sophie but all Thank

4:13

you Canadian person.

4:15

Thank you. You're so funny. I didn't realize that

4:17

you discovered me. Yeah, no, no, no

4:22

Hard right to figure out your paperwork and

4:25

immigration. Yeah, do you know some Canadians? It's

4:27

really it's quite it's like so expensive I

4:29

have to renew my visa right now and it's

4:31

just like such a it's just they

4:33

you know that it's coming But it's still

4:35

just a surprise huge amount of money really.

4:37

Oh my god, so expensive. It was

4:39

like 15 grand originally You had to

4:42

pay that to come here. Yes, and it

4:44

was 15 grand US So that's like closer

4:46

to 20 grand Canadian, which is like so

4:48

unfair and then now just to renew it

4:50

It's gonna be more than 5 grand to

4:52

go again for how often you the amount

4:54

of nose jobs I could have gotten if

4:57

I was born in America I

4:59

think this is what being immigrant is like You

5:05

for that to come here I know rip

5:07

off it is a ripoff Thank you You

5:10

have to have a big show of money is why

5:12

like my knees I'm my

5:15

family's from the Philippines and to even I

5:17

have a Filipino aunt and cousins and to

5:19

carry your favorite. Yeah I'm

5:22

always trying to impress them because they're teens that

5:24

my Filipino teen cousins And I'm

5:26

always like offering to buy them drugs and stuff

5:28

and their Gen Z So they don't want that

5:30

and there's only so many times you can offer

5:32

before you're like pushing it on them What kind

5:34

of drugs are you offering whatever they want and

5:36

they don't want that? No, the Gen Z kids

5:39

are really really really straight edge Yeah, oh, I

5:41

love as a mother. I love to hear that

5:44

Like the candy shop your baby's not doing

5:46

drugs either. No, she's sober She's

5:51

extremely sober that's good. She's in the program.

5:53

Yeah So

5:55

you offer them drugs but they're saying no

5:58

so like what I hate being

6:00

not useful to a Gen Z kid.

6:02

I know. I know,

6:04

it's just so hard to figure out how to be

6:06

cool to them. Because when we were teenagers, if

6:08

somebody offered me drugs, I'd be like, oh, this is the coolest

6:11

at all, never. I got into some trouble. But I- What

6:13

drugs were you doing? I would do any drug

6:15

in high school. Are you serious? I was doing

6:18

comedy though, and so comedians do drugs and then

6:20

you do it as well. In high school? Yeah.

6:23

Well, that's right, because you started going to

6:25

comedy clubs really young with your mom, right?

6:27

Yeah. So alcohol became a part of your

6:29

life I

6:31

was really a heavy party girl when I was a teenager, and

6:34

then now I just kind of socially, I don't

6:36

really do anything now. I'll do mushrooms once a

6:38

year with my girls, but- I feel

6:40

like mushrooms is in its own lane and- I

6:43

disagree now. Why, tell me. I don't

6:45

know, I've just decided that I'm fully

6:47

going completely sober and- You

6:49

and your daughter? Yeah. Can

6:51

I tell you a fun

6:53

fact I heard about Chinese postpartum?

6:56

Yeah. They have

6:58

this new study where they give

7:00

moms ketamine very soon after they

7:02

give birth, and apparently

7:05

they're seeing extremely positive

7:07

results to prevent

7:09

postpartum. I

7:12

don't know. I just, we've

7:15

seen ketamine being used. It's- You're

7:18

right. Once a drug, I

7:20

hear about it recreationally, I start to

7:22

like, I don't know.

7:24

So for you, it's very important, the first time

7:26

you hear about it. It has to be from

7:28

a doctor. So it's like, yeah, I'll take an

7:30

OxyContin. Have you done drugs before? I had like

7:33

a two year stint on marijuana, and then I

7:35

got pregnant, and then I had to quit. And

7:37

then now I'm like, I went

7:39

through the nine month detox and it came out on the other

7:41

side and I'm like, I'm

7:43

good. Interesting. Yeah.

7:46

So you did two years of

7:48

pot, which led to your pregnancy. Yeah.

7:50

So you spiraled out of control. I forced it in

7:52

the best. You were having unprotected sex. It does sound

7:54

like drugs don't suit you well. Yeah,

7:57

exactly. You have to be more careful. Thank you

7:59

for the advice. That

10:00

is so cool. And so okay mom

10:02

and mom to me as I assume

10:04

like eating disorder vibes or no over

10:07

exercising vibes for me over exercising over

10:10

Like I say when someone helicopter

10:12

mom Watching what you eat making

10:14

sure you have a certain physique at all. And

10:16

so what is your relationship with food now? Really

10:19

terrible terrible. Yeah, yo yo up and down.

10:21

Yeah, I go. Did you ever do a

10:24

thumb pick? I've never died. I

10:26

probably actually no I shouldn't say I'll never

10:28

do it, but I I haven't

10:30

yet Have

10:32

you okay? I acquired some in Canada and

10:34

so with all my medication I have ADHD

10:36

meds too and it's so much cheaper in

10:38

Canada uh-huh, so I kind of have been

10:40

just going back to Canada every like 90

10:42

days and just getting my cheap meds and

10:45

then like coming back and

10:47

My time I timed everything wrong And so I

10:49

ran out of my ADHD meds and ran out

10:51

of my rosen pick and so I was off

10:53

of both of them for a stretch

10:56

Of time and then I'm going back to Vancouver next

10:58

weekend to get all my stuff And so next time

11:00

you see me I'm gonna be focused and skinny wait

11:03

How much osen pick have you done? Like

11:05

how long I only did one full pen

11:07

of it Which was like maybe

11:10

a month and a half maybe two months and what did it do

11:12

to you? It just makes you not

11:14

think about food ever and not hungry. It made

11:16

me like a little bit nauseous, but not more

11:18

than just Any

11:20

anybody like I drink a lot of coffee

11:22

on empty stomach You

11:24

repost like literally three times a week the

11:27

same meme on your Instagram stories Three

11:32

copies no lunch I'll never not repost I

11:36

Am worried with this with this CBS job. I

11:38

can't post as many like chaotic I

11:42

support that we'll see wait for those

11:44

them pick is it like a weekly shot once

11:46

a week You know the Jim bros

11:48

I heard have been Hypnosempic

11:51

or it turns up his tears

11:53

appetite for him to it. Now you sound like

11:55

a mom To it

11:57

out there He's young Jim

20:00

something else going on. Like that is,

20:02

do you know what I mean?

20:04

Yeah, I'm just thinking about how

20:06

like the whole concept of being

20:08

cool is so embarrassing. Cause

20:10

it's like to be cool, you sort of have to

20:13

know that you're doing something like you,

20:15

like to look good, you have to

20:17

put strategy in, but like that's also

20:19

inherently embarrassing. I don't know. The whole

20:22

thing is breaking me out right now.

20:24

Yeah, even like wanting

20:27

to look cool, but not

20:29

looking like you've tried too

20:31

hard. That's its own psychosis

20:33

too. Yeah, psychosis. It really

20:35

is. It's like the

20:37

no makeup makeup look, right?

20:39

It's like, I want to be disheveled,

20:41

but you put that much effort into,

20:43

you know, the

20:47

like Bobby say, for instance, his thing is like,

20:49

like poverty porn, right? He wants to look

20:52

poor, but he's not. Oh

20:55

yeah, rich people always want to look poor. Cause

20:58

that's cooler than being rich. Right.

21:01

And they make fun of you people with, you

21:03

know, the branded stuff,

21:05

right? But still it's like, yeah, they're

21:07

like new rich people. But it's like,

21:09

I don't know what's more embarrassing. The

21:11

fact that you're trying to cosplay poverty

21:13

or, or

21:15

you trying to cosplay richness. This is

21:18

my problem. I think anything inauthentic is

21:20

uncool. And so if you're trying to

21:22

seem rich, if you're trying to seem

21:24

poor, if you're trying to seem cool,

21:26

if you're trying to seem nonchalant, if

21:28

it's not true, that's what's off

21:30

putting. That's very standup comedian of

21:33

you. Like it's got to be real. We

21:35

need authentic. We need authenticity. So true. But

21:37

that's why I'm always like standing behind people

21:39

that have like bad takes and stuff, because

21:41

I'm like, that's, I can tell that is

21:43

what they think. I love that. Yes. Wait,

21:46

are there things that you guys have done, whether

21:49

it's posted or not, like for a

21:51

crush that's so embarrassing? Like

21:54

personally, I'm sure I've told

21:56

you this before, Klyla, but like I,

21:59

when I was in high school. like found out my crush like

22:01

Lord of the Rings and I bought all the DVDs,

22:03

I bought all the books. Like

22:05

I just wanted to have them in my

22:07

house so that I could like feel that

22:10

I was into them but I was not

22:12

at all. You're holding them and you're like

22:14

come on, come on, come on. Be more

22:16

interesting. No, of course not. But I did.

22:18

Did you end up, is he their baby

22:21

daddy? No, but he, we did date and

22:23

I, I

22:25

did for us a part-time of the relationship

22:27

in high school pretend that that was a

22:29

genuine interest. And so did it work? Like

22:31

did pretending to like Lord of the Rings,

22:33

was that at your ticket? Was that at

22:35

your inn? I think it's safe to say

22:37

that it wasn't but I

22:41

think it was you know the full strategy.

22:43

There is a strategy. I mean I have

22:45

definitely done some sneaky adjacent things like that.

22:47

Like when I first

22:49

started dating Bobby like a long time

22:51

ago in my 20s, I

22:54

knew that he had very,

22:56

he loved obscure music references

22:59

or he would be impressed by certain bands if

23:01

like no one knew about it. So

23:03

I, it was never on my

23:05

playlist but I found what I knew

23:07

was like an obscure band

23:10

from somewhere in probably Toronto or something

23:12

like that. And I'm like what? You've

23:14

never heard of them? And I

23:16

would play it from, I'd never heard of them

23:18

either up until the day prior. And

23:21

just doing things like that because I

23:23

just knew that he would be impressed

23:25

by it somehow. I mean it's so,

23:28

we identify like the worst qualities in our

23:30

crush and we're like me too. That's the

23:32

thing that we have in common. Yeah. Because

23:34

it's like being smug about finding underground music.

23:36

It's like I'm sure that's not what you

23:38

liked about him. No he's definitely

23:40

very smug about that. In fact he would

23:42

do things too that I eventually

23:45

learned was so fake.

23:47

Like he would fake

23:49

twitch. He would do these things and

23:51

talk to himself because he wanted to seem like an

23:53

eccentric artist. And I

23:56

later found out that he's taking a plexi.

23:58

Yeah kind of. Like you know, like the

24:00

over blinking and talking to himself. OK, but

24:02

then you're like into him, but then you're

24:04

like, I did fall for it. You fell

24:06

for it. And so that's why they do

24:08

it. Like somebody at one point thought it

24:10

was hot. And then they're like, OK, I'm

24:12

going to do this forever. And then somebody

24:14

else thinks it's hot. And then right. That's

24:16

now they have a reason why they're acting

24:18

crazy. Right. I'm like, he's so different. He's

24:21

twitching. He's not like the other

24:23

guys. He is epilepsy. I know

24:25

it's that's crazy. It's crazy. And

24:27

so you're like fake twitching to your like

24:29

me, too. It's so crazy that

24:32

both of us have that. I

24:34

had one in high school. I

24:36

had a big crush on my friend's big

24:38

brother. I feel like friends, friends, older brother

24:40

is like, there's no poison like it. That's

24:42

so real. And so she told me and

24:44

she didn't know I had a crush. I'm

24:46

I'm sure she knew I had a crush

24:49

on him, but we didn't like talk about

24:51

it. But she

24:53

had told me that he was obsessed with

24:55

the Transformers movie like

24:57

the Megan Fox Child Buff one. That's

24:59

a Nick. And of course, it's Nick.

25:02

And so, yeah. And

25:05

so I did not watch

25:07

the movie. That wasn't my

25:10

strategy. I found a shirt

25:12

that had a Transformers thing

25:14

on it. And the only

25:16

time him and I really saw each other was when I had

25:18

gym class. He

25:21

had maybe some maybe

25:23

gym as well. But we would

25:25

see each other outside. And so

25:27

I wore this Transformers shirt for

25:30

gym every every day. I

25:32

never washed it. It smells so bad. And then

25:34

I stopped wearing it at some point because I

25:37

found out this other guy that I also sort

25:39

of had a crush on started calling me Transformer

25:41

girl. And

25:43

I'm like, I haven't even seen the movie. I'm

25:45

trying to I'm working on something else right now.

25:48

And then now I'm getting lumped into this whole

25:50

other thing. And so, yeah,

25:52

I didn't hook up with either of them.

25:54

It was a bit of a flop of

25:56

a project, unfortunately.

25:59

I haven't thought about that. a long time. You

26:01

didn't take it to the finish line? What was

26:03

the most painful rejection you ever went through when

26:05

you were a teenager? I

26:08

mean, not to get

26:10

all into it, but I was absolutely

26:12

dating adult comedians when I was a

26:14

teenager. What? And so that's not

26:16

really in the spirit of a fun girl

26:19

episode, but you know. No, tell us. No,

26:21

no. I mean, it makes sense because you were in

26:23

the comedy club so young and people probably thought she and you were. Yeah,

26:26

so there were definitely situations where I was

26:28

like, oh, we're soulmates.

26:31

And then they were just kind of

26:33

creeps. And so that

26:35

always ends up, you know, coming, crashing

26:38

down on you. Esther,

26:41

I have a confession to make. Yeah.

26:44

So you once told me that you

26:47

and Dave share a Skims t-shirt.

26:49

We do. And I

26:51

got to say, you guys, this is a relationship

26:53

builder to share

26:55

a Skims t-shirt. My boyfriend loves

26:57

all of my Skims t-shirts. Wait,

26:59

really? The boyfriend collection? The boyfriend

27:01

collection. Okay, so the boyfriend collection

27:04

definitely got me through pregnancy. Now

27:06

that I'm postpartum, I'm wearing my

27:08

new favorite collection, which is the

27:10

Soft Smoothing Seamless. And

27:13

these are the best shirts. The

27:15

fabric is so soft

27:17

and buttery. That's how I feel

27:19

about all things Skims. It's

27:23

number one for me in my life is comfort.

27:25

And I feel like I don't have to give

27:27

up the comfort to feel sexy. Soft

27:30

Smoothing Seamless t-shirt and long sleeve t-shirt,

27:32

those are what I've been wearing postpartum

27:34

where it's like, okay, it kind of

27:36

is form fitting, but it doesn't feel

27:38

tight somehow. And

27:41

I've been wearing that like, you know, Dave and

27:43

I had our first date night postpartum. I threw

27:45

on my Soft Smoothing Seamless short

27:47

sleeve black t-shirt and it was the perfect

27:50

thing to sort of like show off my

27:52

body, but also be comfortable. Right.

27:55

Shop the Skims t-shirt shop at skims.com

27:57

now available in sizes XXS, 2XL, and

27:59

XL. to Forex. If you haven't yet, be

28:01

sure to let them know we sent you after

28:03

you place your order. This is really important. You

28:06

guys select podcasts in the survey and select our

28:08

show in the dropdown menu that follows. Tell them

28:10

that we sent you. You know what to do.

28:13

Please tell them that we sent you. We

28:18

kind of just don't see

28:20

how terrible it is like the

28:22

age gap because I was convinced to. I

28:24

would say I'm 15, 16. I was dating

28:27

guys like who were mid 20s,

28:29

sometimes 30. And in my

28:31

head, I had convinced myself that I was mature

28:33

and that I wanted to let my friends. They

28:35

tell you you're mature too. And then now you

28:37

know that it's like a tactic

28:39

to be like, oh, I see you more

28:42

adult than other people see you. You're not like

28:44

your friends. Exactly. But we

28:47

were exactly like our friends. Actually,

28:51

we were like our friends. I know. Spoiler

28:53

alert. Did

28:56

you ever date an adult as a teenage

28:58

girl? I did not date an

29:00

adult as a teenager. Really? No.

29:02

I yeah, surprisingly no. How could

29:04

that be? How could you

29:07

be here on this couch today? We

29:10

posted. How did I make it here? It's

29:12

actually pretty common. Without that happening.

29:14

It is weird. You know, it's

29:16

so funny. My niece, I found

29:18

out, was dating someone

29:20

much older when her senior

29:23

year of high school. And I thought that because I

29:25

had experience with it, that I would be able to

29:27

convince her like, hey, this is a bad idea. And

29:29

I could not. And I tried

29:33

my best to be like, this

29:35

is something you'll regret. That guy is

29:37

absolutely not like he's not

29:40

finding any girl who's

29:42

interested in him, like within his own

29:44

peer group. He can't even

29:46

get a girl. That's why he's shooting for

29:48

a high schooler. Yeah. But I I

29:52

thought I would be this like motherly savior

29:54

and she just continued to see him. I

29:56

mean, eventually happening on her own. She got

29:59

majorly like it. she woke up and

30:01

she was like, oh wait, this is so not

30:03

okay. That's good though. And I think that you

30:05

can be confident that you did chip away at

30:07

it. Like I think that they do have to

30:10

come to it on their own. And the more

30:12

people that can say something and make a kind

30:14

of uncool big deal about it, the better. Like

30:16

it does add up. You think so? I think

30:19

so. I do think you're also right.

30:21

Because when I was dating someone that was not so

30:23

great for me, I had a friend that was just

30:25

like laying down the facts. Like

30:27

here's what, and I remember sitting there being

30:29

like, yeah, but in

30:31

my mind I was like, yeah, but I

30:33

don't care. And then afterwards I was like,

30:35

whoa, she was right. Yeah, and then she

30:38

was brave for making this awkward moment in

30:40

your friendship because she saw something that you

30:42

weren't seeing or weren't like ready to look

30:44

at. And so the danger of

30:46

it obviously is that, is it's like you

30:48

can jeopardize your relationship with your like younger

30:50

cousin. Yeah, she has my niece. Yeah, your

30:53

niece or your friend or something. It's like

30:55

it can create a short term rift, but

30:57

you know this person. Like

31:00

at some point, they're smart.

31:02

They'll probably figure it out

31:04

on their own. Whatever the thing is that they

31:06

need to accept it, they'll probably come to on

31:08

their own. And then I think it'll strengthen your

31:10

relationship after that because they'll be like, oh, this

31:12

person was looking out for me. And

31:15

also didn't judge me for doing it. They

31:17

just wanted to help me go in the

31:19

right direction. Yeah, that's so real. Wait, I

31:21

wanna go back to faking interests

31:23

for guys. Because

31:25

I've thought about this a lot. And

31:28

I almost want the guys like to comment

31:30

or answer. Like I always wonder, do

31:33

they want a girl who's interested in

31:35

what they're interested in? Or

31:37

would they rather have the girl that's

31:39

like into their girly own stuff? I

31:43

don't know. And this makes me really

31:45

insecure. Why? Because

31:49

the guy that I'm currently with, him

31:51

and I share a lot of things.

31:54

We both dive, we love

31:56

the ocean. And he swears it's something that...

31:58

You both twitch. with that

32:00

guy is no longer in the picture. The twitcher

32:02

is gone. But there's,

32:04

he says that it's something that like, he like

32:07

fell in love with me. He's like, oh my

32:09

God, I didn't know I could meet someone like

32:11

you, share with these. So that's great. Yeah,

32:14

but then I could

32:17

foresee down the road him

32:21

not liking that we have the same like

32:23

interests, that maybe there should be like a

32:25

separation. Why do you foresee that? Only

32:28

because it's like in the beginning when,

32:30

when, you know, your loins are, you

32:33

know, hot blooded and you want to

32:35

just like, you're like, wow, like he

32:37

gets me. She gets me. But you

32:40

know, at some point I do think

32:42

that the opposite, when

32:45

someone is the opposite of you and they have

32:47

their own thing going and there is that separation,

32:49

like it builds more, I don't know, I can't

32:51

really explain. I think it's like,

32:53

you don't want to be codependent, obviously, like you don't

32:56

want to do absolutely everything together, you know, but

32:58

I think that liking a lot of the same stuff,

33:00

it can only be good if it's real.

33:03

And it's like, it is real for you guys,

33:05

where it's like, Lord of the Rings Transformers. Fake.

33:08

Not real, fake. And so I think if it's

33:10

real, then it has to be good because it's

33:12

like, the reason you like these things is because

33:14

you like swimming or you like, you know, like

33:16

it's, those are activities that you'll be excited to

33:18

do together. I don't think that

33:20

there's a way for that to turn out

33:22

bad. I think like being codependent is bad

33:25

when you can't do anything apart and you're

33:27

too tied to each other's feelings. So like,

33:29

if one person is feeling upset, you have

33:31

to do, like, like, I think that you

33:33

have to be separate people and have enough

33:35

stuff separately that that's not your only, because

33:38

I've definitely been in codependent relationships where it's like,

33:40

this person is just the

33:42

center of your world. And then if

33:44

they're upset, you're upset and you know, it's

33:47

all, that's not a healthy way to be, but

33:49

having the same interest is good. I think so. What

33:51

do you think Esther? I think

33:54

that I know why you feel that

33:56

way. And I'm like, my own projection

33:58

of it is that. when

34:01

you are dating someone who's

34:03

an entertainer, you

34:05

don't wanna be two entertainers

34:07

and maybe that's from dating

34:09

Bobby, you were

34:11

not the star in that relationship and you

34:13

could not be and if you were, that

34:15

would have been really harmful to the dynamic.

34:18

But you guys both dive,

34:20

no offense to diving, but I think that's like.

34:23

There's no competition. Exactly. And

34:26

it's already a step. And no disrespect to

34:28

diving as a creative art form. And no

34:30

disrespect to myself, but he is the star

34:32

in the relationship. And you like saying, do

34:34

you not wanna be the star? No, I

34:36

love when someone is like superior and better

34:38

than me at something. Sexually? Yes,

34:41

I don't want him to be so

34:43

much better. If we're on the same

34:45

level, like kind of like. Because

34:48

you wanna feel like he's like. Teach

34:51

me things. Like I wanna be like,

34:53

save me, rescue me, teach me, tell me how

34:55

it's done. I love that. That is so cute.

34:58

Do you like that? No, I don't like to learn. I

35:01

don't wanna teach or learn. I'm

35:04

in a knowledge free relationship. We're

35:07

going sober for knowledge. Neither

35:09

of us know even one thing and we do not yearn to.

35:13

I came across this TikTok of this girl

35:15

who was like, I like who I am,

35:17

but I find, she's

35:21

talking about like being boring. And

35:23

she was like, I never really

35:25

acquired a hobby. Something like I'm truly

35:27

like genuinely interested in. This is like all

35:29

of Gen Z, which I respect them so

35:32

much. They're just, everyone's coming out as like

35:34

having no hobbies and interests and I love

35:36

it. I've been waiting for this moment. My

35:39

whole life was, I've always been like, what do

35:41

people do in their free

35:43

time if they don't need something from Target?

35:46

Like that's the only thing I know as

35:49

my culture, as my activity. And

35:51

so I'm just so grateful that

35:53

that's becoming a mainstream acceptable thing

35:55

to share. But you're not that.

36:00

girl, because you have a background in dance. There's

36:04

a lot of things about you that are...

36:06

Yeah, wait, didn't you dance? No, I don't

36:08

dance. I'm just trying to get

36:10

you to dance. Yes,

36:13

those things are true, but I

36:17

have always struggled with like, okay, let's say it's

36:19

the end of the day and you just did

36:21

all the things you need to do, whatever, and

36:23

then you... I'm like, now what?

36:26

You know what I mean? Dance

36:29

class is a different thing to me and

36:31

yes, now it's maybe more that love and

36:33

hobby, but I just feel like there's

36:35

people that they sit down at the end of the day

36:37

and they crochet. I

36:39

don't know. There's something,

36:41

there's there, there. I have

36:44

both friends. I have a

36:46

friend that has extremely regimented

36:48

hobbies, does crochet, does pottery,

36:50

does origami, does

36:53

hobbies with a capital H.

36:56

And I have a friend where we've actually had issues

36:58

because I was asking her like, what's going on in

37:01

her life? And then she took it really personally because

37:03

she'd never had hobbies and it was something that she

37:05

felt insecure about. And so I

37:08

understand both people and I think that,

37:10

I still think that we're all just

37:12

the same. Like I think that

37:14

if you don't have an active hobby that you're doing,

37:16

then you're doing imagination or you're

37:18

thinking about stuff. Spoken like

37:21

a true only child, you're doing imagination

37:23

and that's a game. And

37:27

it's a game you can play by yourself. No,

37:30

no one played with me. So I invented a

37:32

lot of card games. You or you making fun

37:34

of me? No, me. Oh, okay. I

37:37

love card games. I used to, my parents were

37:39

divorced, obviously, and my mom and I lived in

37:41

Ottawa and my dad lived in Vancouver, which is

37:43

like a five or six hour flight. And

37:46

since I was three years old, they would put me

37:48

on planes by myself back and forth

37:50

like to go see them because they weren't going to come

37:52

with me. And I used

37:54

to bring cards on the plane with me and I

37:56

would make whoever was sitting next to me play cards

37:59

with me. And I remember. sometimes they would pretend to

38:01

sleep and I'd wake them up and I'd be like

38:03

it's your turn. Like that's so cute. And

38:05

would you have the umpass when you would

38:08

have to fly? Unaccompanied liner. I'd

38:10

take it off though, it's kind of lame. And

38:15

then there was a point where they started giving

38:17

you hats that said you am on it and

38:19

I have never been able to write a joke

38:21

about it but it is really like okay human

38:23

traffic me, like nobody's watching me. Big green hat

38:25

that says unaccompanied. But I feel as though don't

38:27

they like cater to you and are sweeter with

38:29

you? Like what's the deal or is that just

38:31

something I made up in my head? I don't

38:33

remember that like maybe they were maybe there was

38:35

always someone watching me but they did not feel

38:37

like it. I felt

38:39

unsupervised and I definitely was not fully fully being

38:41

watched because there were several times that I would

38:44

land in Vancouver and my dad wouldn't be there

38:46

yet and this is like before cell phones and

38:48

I would just be at the airport alone. I

38:50

don't I wasn't like sitting with an employee or

38:52

anything I was just walking around the airport. Wait

38:55

this is crazy. How do you feel like

38:57

this is a, do you

38:59

feel extremely independent because of that? Yes

39:01

I do feel very independent. Wow I'm

39:04

impressed by that. Trauma it

39:07

has its upsides. I never

39:09

felt scared though. Yeah that's cool. I don't remember

39:11

feeling scared and there's a chance that it's just

39:13

I'm unaware of my surroundings but because my mom

39:15

is so quiet and because I was the only

39:17

child I was on my own and then I'd

39:19

go to my dad's and then you know I'd

39:21

be you know he had stuff to

39:23

do and so I was on my own. Like I always

39:25

just felt like it was it was natural for me to

39:28

be alone in the world. I never felt nervous and

39:30

I think that it does build confidence. Oh for sure. I

39:32

think that stuff builds confidence when you, there's

39:34

not even a danger that you think about.

39:37

Right. The best things that I did for

39:39

myself when I was younger was I

39:41

remember I was like I was

39:44

talking to the child the the middle school

39:46

social worker because I was going through a

39:48

breakup and was taking advantage of the free

39:50

resources we had at our fingertips. Hey middle

39:52

school? Yes. So cute. And I remember I

39:55

was sharing with her that she was like

39:57

so what's like you know how they therapy.

39:59

try to get to what's the real fear

40:01

behind the fear or whatever and I was

40:03

sharing about how Well, if I

40:05

don't have a boyfriend like what if I

40:08

have to sit alone to eat or something like

40:10

that And she was like so what and then

40:12

she like built this whole Thing

40:14

in my mind of like it's actually

40:17

cool to go do things alone and because of

40:19

that like I was so confident from then Forward

40:21

I would go to movies by myself I would

40:23

go like sit and sit to eat by myself

40:25

And I do feel like then I would hear

40:27

of people who are scared of that and I

40:29

felt so much I felt so

40:31

empowered like I feel so good having

40:33

dinner by myself and going to movies

40:35

by myself I love doing this is

40:38

incredible because I literally just learned how

40:40

to do this last year what I

40:43

Couldn't I could not even

40:45

sleep alone in my own bed I

40:48

swear when Bobby would go on the road

40:50

I would have my sister or my mom

40:52

come over or I would stay up the

40:55

whole night until I could see the sunlight

40:57

Peek through and then I could go to

40:59

bed. I was terrified. Yeah, I'm terrified of

41:01

like the dark monsters Like this

41:03

is like okay the dark objectively scary Nothing

41:07

to be ashamed of the dark everyone's like, oh, what

41:09

are you scared of the dark? It's like yeah, actually

41:12

Yeah, do you know the dark? Wait,

41:14

but this whole thing was like eating alone

41:17

enjoying yourself alone like that's in light. That's

41:19

daytime I have never

41:21

learned I didn't learn to do that

41:23

until like last year. I was

41:25

like, oh, this is quite nice It's such

41:27

an underrated life skill It is

41:30

so like that changes the game and I

41:32

do know that it works a little bit

41:34

against like what we're all discovering now You

41:36

need community and friendship But I

41:38

also think there's room for just

41:40

having the confidence to be alone

41:42

be in public alone Like have

41:45

a group of people see you sitting there

41:47

by yourself like live in that and it's

41:50

just it feels so good When I

41:52

see a woman having dinner alone, I'm

41:54

obsessed with her. That's my muse. That's

41:57

my angel That's my drug now is

41:59

having dinner

42:01

or lunch alone is something that like

42:03

I've just newly stumbled upon and I

42:05

think it's like oh my god this

42:07

is so fucking great yeah how did

42:09

I miss out on an entire lifetime

42:12

of always thinking I needed to eat with

42:14

someone or have someone there and it's so

42:16

intoxicating being alone is scarily intoxicating for me

42:18

now yeah once you get too used to

42:21

it it is hard to go back well

42:23

this is the problem of course and it's

42:25

like I think that a lot of especially

42:27

Gen Z we were talking about earlier obviously

42:29

so much of their

42:31

formative social years have were COVID

42:34

and so everybody has kind of substituted

42:36

hangout in person time with online time

42:38

right which our brains tell us is

42:40

so good because it's like all built

42:43

to make our brains feel good with

42:45

notifications and messages and you know a

42:47

sound or whatever but it's actually

42:49

good for our brains to be in rooms with

42:51

other people and so yes like

42:54

you know we should promote being alone and being comfortable

42:56

and stuff but it's also so important to be in

42:58

a room with other people as much

43:00

as you can yeah no I know is

43:03

Gen Z just as physically affectionate with each other

43:05

I don't think so they're not having sex with

43:07

each other and I think that it's because a

43:10

big part of it is porn because they

43:12

all have been watching porn since they were

43:14

born no offense to your daughter a little

43:17

poor addict yeah but I think it's the

43:19

mix of like COVID they don't they don't

43:21

see each other in person they don't do

43:23

drugs and so for us we're getting drunk

43:25

we're hooking up with each other yeah we're

43:28

grabbing and quarantine right exactly yeah and so

43:30

they don't have they don't have they're not

43:32

hanging out with each other in person drinking

43:34

doing drugs and they don't have social skills

43:36

because they were this is zoom high school

43:39

this is very professor Scott Galloway he really

43:43

believes I love Scott Galloway we have such

43:45

a crush on him we do he's a

43:47

daddy crush no we need Scott come on

43:49

our show do you know Gabor Mate? of

43:51

course I love him he's taught me everything

43:53

I know about myself Wow I know it's

43:55

really Canadian he is yeah Hello.

44:01

Does everybody

44:03

do that? But

44:07

it's Professor Scott Galloway who was like, I know

44:09

it sounds terrible to say, but there is something

44:11

to be said about learning

44:14

how to properly socialize, learning

44:16

how to properly drink amongst

44:18

friends, especially for like young men. I'm

44:21

like, oh, that's so interesting. What a hot

44:23

take. I just listened to his predictions for

44:25

next year. Every year he puts out like

44:27

a big batch of predictions and

44:30

his biggest, his prediction that was going

44:33

to have the biggest impact on America,

44:36

more than AI, more than

44:39

like Bitcoin, more than war

44:41

is Ozempic because

44:45

people that take Ozempic become sort of

44:47

cured of any addiction. Like people are

44:50

giving people Ozempic and they're gambling less,

44:52

they're smoking less, they're

44:54

using their smartphones less. Does

44:57

it just take the compulsion out?

44:59

It might be, it might cure

45:01

addiction. And it's like it obviously

45:04

hasn't been fully tested for that or anything, but that's

45:06

like the biggest trend that he's noticing. And he put

45:08

that as his number one biggest impact on America for

45:10

the next year. Wow.

45:13

I, OK, this is so complicated

45:16

for me because obviously I hear that. I'm

45:18

so jealous. I'm like, I want to be

45:20

on Ozempic too. Like I don't want to

45:22

be looking at my phone, you know, but

45:25

then I'm obviously

45:27

I can't just use Ozempic

45:29

for that because I don't want to do

45:31

that. But it is it is crazy to

45:34

think there's like this miracle drug. I mean,

45:36

did you experience like looking at your phone

45:38

less? I think so.

45:40

What did you do with the free time?

45:42

Well, that's the thing. And that's why it'll

45:45

and this is also it's not been studied. Like stuff

45:47

hasn't come out. This is just this guy that seems

45:50

really on top of stuff and

45:53

his instincts. Yeah, he's our daddy. He does get things

45:55

wrong, though, too. Of course. Yeah, of course. And then

45:57

that's a big part of being our predictors. Like you

45:59

get stuff right, you get stuff wrong, the stuff you

46:01

get wrong, everybody makes fun of you forever and brings

46:04

it up. And the stuff you get right, you get

46:06

to feel good. But this one does

46:08

feel like it makes sense to me. And it's like, I don't

46:10

think everybody should go when I was MPIC or anything. I just

46:12

think that it makes sense

46:14

why it's kind of this big

46:17

impactful thing because we're

46:19

so addicted to, I

46:22

mean, everything that we're addicted to, but food specifically,

46:25

if you're not thinking about food all day, you're

46:27

not ordering food all day. That's also extra money

46:29

that you end up having. Like people talk about

46:31

how expensive Osempic is, but I found that it

46:33

paid for itself and more so

46:35

because I'm buying, especially if I'm on the

46:38

road, I'm doing Uber Eats every weekend, several

46:40

times. And I just wasn't

46:42

doing that. I was like eating the protein bars

46:44

that I threw in the bottom of my backpack.

46:46

And so I would wake up and then I

46:49

would have like those shitty little hotel coffee and then

46:51

several hours would go by and then it's like almost-

46:54

I drink hotel coffee. Too

46:57

nasty for you. You're a nasty girl. Too nasty, you're

46:59

not going to match my free. Not

47:02

going to match my nasty. Do you

47:04

drink hotel coffee? I don't drink

47:06

coffee at all. Do you drink coffee

47:08

at all? I was like the biggest lover. It

47:10

was my number one relationship. And then now I

47:13

don't drink it. Why? You're nasty? Because

47:16

it's like, so

47:19

I think a little bit of like the postpartum anxiety

47:22

and then also just, I

47:25

don't want to be dependent on it and

47:27

like have the energy crash. And then also

47:29

it's like when you're taking care of a

47:31

baby, like it's actually logistically kind of, at

47:33

least for the first like month or so,

47:35

it was really too complicated

47:37

to like get to the kitchen to make a coffee.

47:39

So I just was like, I'm going to go off

47:41

of it. And I don't

47:43

know, I went so many years without it. And

47:45

then again, it became my primary relationship in my

47:48

life. It's my number one vice

47:50

easily, caffeine. No, that's why I love your

47:52

Instagram stories about it. Like I'm

47:54

with you, I swear. It's who I am. Like

47:56

does it upset you to hear that I have

47:58

quit? Cause I would be. upset when I heard

48:00

people quit coffee. I was like, how

48:03

could you do that? I felt like I was

48:05

being broken up with. I'm not upset because you

48:07

just had a baby. I support women in their

48:09

journey. You're giving me this time? Yeah, but then

48:11

obviously come back to us. OK. When

48:14

you're ready. When your daughter goes to

48:16

university or whatever, and you have the time. Yeah, in 18

48:19

years. You have time to make it to the kitchen. I

48:24

kind of miss being a slave to

48:26

something. I'm sure I am in other

48:28

things. But coffee, not

48:30

even green tea. I am just so anti.

48:34

I hate the feeling of having to

48:36

rely on anything. And it's

48:38

a control issue for sure. But I

48:40

don't like, even with medication, I can't

48:43

take Tylenol more than like, you

48:45

know. And I probably need it. But I'd be like, no, no.

48:48

I won't take it because I don't like the

48:50

feeling of needing something too much. Interesting. Or relying

48:52

on something too much. I feel like there's something

48:54

hovering that has power over me and I'm terrified

48:57

about it. Are you afraid that like any minute

48:59

you'll be like stranded on a desert island and

49:01

won't have it? So you're just trying to prepare

49:03

for life. If I was stranded on a desert

49:05

island, I would be so grumpy

49:08

because I couldn't have coffee. I would be

49:10

in a foul mood. I know this about

49:12

you. You are a big fan of Survivor.

49:14

Yes, I love Survivor. And what would you do

49:16

on an island without your coffee? I

49:19

would be in such a mood. I would starve. And

49:22

I'd be glad that I'm starving to death. Because

49:24

without coffee, I'm not myself. Do you have to

49:26

get to heaven to get your next coffee? Yay.

49:30

The upside is that you nap a lot and

49:32

then you just sleep through your starvation. You

49:35

just conserve your energy. I'm interested

49:37

in this power dynamic you have with

49:39

caffeine. Because

49:42

I have no problem being addicted to

49:44

caffeine. And I don't really have an

49:46

addictive personality with anything else. And I've

49:48

dabbled in all these drugs, all this

49:51

stuff. But

49:53

I don't feel. The only thing I feel is, especially

49:55

now with this job, waking up really early, I need

49:57

coffee right away to. Because most

49:59

of it, like, why? what all of the monologue is written

50:01

in the first hour. Like I get in at eight

50:04

and then they send me a research packet and I

50:06

pick like which stories I want to do and

50:08

then I have an hour to do it. Wait,

50:10

that's like an intense job. Yeah.

50:13

And for a standup comedian, like starting at 8 a.m.? It's,

50:17

yeah, I mean, we start at 8.30, but I

50:20

have to be there at eight. I'm impressed. So that

50:22

I couldn't get, thank you. That's huge. And

50:25

I'm a big sleeper too. Like I will sleep, if I don't

50:27

send an alarm, I'll sleep till 3 p.m. But

50:31

this having power over, like, because for

50:33

me, I'm like, if something helps me,

50:35

great. If it has power over

50:37

me, no problem. I overdid it. I was drinking

50:40

six venties a day. I wouldn't get off the

50:42

couch. Oh my God. Like insane amounts of coffee.

50:44

I don't know this version of her. You know,

50:46

I'm always a big like coffee. Have you guys

50:48

met before? I feel like you're learning a lot

50:50

about each other today. Every day with her. Like

50:53

she's a new person. She surprises you every day.

50:55

That's why we, how it's for a girl. It's

50:57

really sad though, but I used to drink. I

50:59

would not do a single thing, not lift a

51:01

finger until I had a coffee in hand. But

51:03

then it got to a point where I had

51:05

this like weird heart arrhythmia like eight years ago.

51:08

And then on top of that, I got really,

51:10

really bad anxiety that I was

51:12

so desperate to not live in a state

51:14

of anxiety. So I eliminated everything and coffee

51:16

was one of them. And

51:19

it was brutal. I had headaches for

51:21

a straight month because I

51:23

was having caffeine with the girls. And it was

51:25

so painful and I still love the smell of

51:27

coffee. I ask any, everybody I

51:29

see with a coffee to just let me

51:32

take a big inhale. Like I miss it,

51:34

obviously. I love coffee culture. I just can't

51:36

have it. I get too anxious. Wait, were

51:38

you drinking like straight black ventis? Or what

51:40

did you drink? No, I always drank lattes.

51:43

Always. Regular milk? With half

51:46

and half. No, with half and half. It's just like 10

51:48

years ago. That's so thick. I know. What?

51:51

Love this. That's so thick. Half and half as

51:53

milk? Is this common? Is

51:55

this an American thing? It wasn't like it was maybe

51:57

not quite a latte. It would be like. get

52:00

it black iced and then add the half

52:02

and half after. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm

52:04

shocked by the amount of dairy you

52:07

consume. She's worried for you. I'm actually

52:09

one of the few Asians I know

52:11

that is not lactose intolerant. Totally. I

52:13

have never been intolerant to dairy or anything

52:15

like that. That's actually a huge flex. But

52:17

I can't eat tomatoes. I can't eat nightshades.

52:20

It makes me shit blood. You can? Nightshades?

52:23

Like eggplant, tomatoes. I

52:25

can't eat any of that. I will literally shit

52:27

blood, but for some reason I'm like metal clad

52:29

when it comes to dairy. Metal

52:33

clad? Iron clad. Iron clad guts

52:35

when it comes to dairy. It's

52:37

so weird. Wow. And everyone around

52:39

me is just like farting their life away when they have an ice cream.

52:41

And I'm like, no, I'm good. I

52:43

know, but then they show you a tomato and you're like, oh

52:45

no, all my eggs to hide. Do

52:49

you, what upsets your stomach? You

52:52

know what? I have a really strong

52:54

stomach. Nothing upsets my stomach.

52:56

Nothing? Like I obviously have a long lifelong

52:58

history of like eating way too much and

53:00

that gives me a stomach ache, but I

53:03

can eat anything. I think that's

53:05

why pregnancy challenged my identity so much because

53:07

I couldn't have tomato sauce. There's so many

53:09

things that I wasn't able to have. Because

53:11

of the like acid reflux? Yeah. And

53:14

I'm so entitled to just being able to

53:16

stuff my face with like, give

53:19

me battery acid. Like I get to do anything.

53:21

I'm so strong stomached

53:24

and. I have wanted to ask you about

53:26

pregnancy. Really? Because yeah, you did

53:28

some interview about how you were like, you had

53:31

put off putting, having kids because you were worried

53:33

you were gonna lose part of your identity or

53:35

part of your career. And

53:37

that, I mean, I think you might've

53:39

credited Trisha Paytas

53:41

as like, mother of

53:44

ghosts. Like oh, she can do it. So we're the

53:46

same. Oh yeah, that's true. I forgot about that. But

53:48

how do you feel like it's affected comedy? Like were

53:50

you doing the road full time? Or

53:53

were you doing more acting stuff? I

53:55

wasn't doing the road full time, but

53:57

I was doing it a bit. Like

53:59

especially. I'm trying to

54:02

think. I think basically like I

54:04

was sort of like touring on and off like

54:07

May of last year all the way

54:09

till January, February of this year. But

54:11

very on and off which

54:14

I loved it. I was having a really

54:16

good time with it. I have completely

54:19

lost my identity and I'm

54:22

thrilled about it. Okay. It's it's

54:24

crazy like I do remember I

54:26

was really nervous about that and

54:29

it's maybe I like subconsciously knew it

54:31

was coming or something but it's

54:34

a journey. Like right the way I feel now

54:37

is I feel very attached to my baby and

54:39

I don't and like I just I want to

54:41

be a mom and I don't

54:45

have a lot to say on the stage. I

54:47

don't like I don't know it's really weird. It's

54:50

a new chapter. It is a new chapter

54:52

and maybe that'll change and I just don't

54:54

know. We can't be scared of new chapters.

54:56

Yes. Yeah. I'm curious like how does how

54:58

does it I just want to know like

55:00

is that crazy to you guys? Like is

55:03

that do you feel do you want kids?

55:05

Like do you fear that identity shift? Do

55:07

you? I think I fear career things. Like

55:09

I feel that I do want

55:11

a kid but I and this

55:14

is really bad to say and I think that people

55:16

have gotten in trouble for saying this online but I really

55:18

would only want a daughter because I

55:20

really liked what me and my mom had.

55:23

I've never seen a mother-son relationship that I'm

55:25

like oh I would love to have something

55:27

like that. Like I've never seen a mother-son

55:29

relationship that I'm trying to get in on.

55:31

I also by the

55:34

way like boy-mom culture or when people

55:36

are really proud of being boy moms

55:38

just gross me out. They

55:40

really make me feel sick. It's scary. Like

55:44

especially there's this one woman on TikTok she

55:46

got dragged obviously. This is maybe what I'm

55:48

thinking. She's like you know I love my

55:50

daughter. She's like my daughter is great yada

55:52

yada. But my boy. My son. My

55:55

son. Very like Oedipus

55:57

complex. Very creepy. I

56:00

have a cousin who, oh my god, like

56:03

she still posts

56:06

on Facebook how she feels. It's just like

56:08

very, very like, she's a fucking dinosaur about

56:10

it. But she talks about like,

56:13

God bless the girl who's gonna come

56:15

in and try to marry my son.

56:17

Like a very toxic mother-in-law vibes. By

56:19

the way, her son is like

56:22

nine years old. I

56:25

did not expect that. Nine. I

56:27

did not expect that. She thinks she's

56:30

being so cool about it. Like she's

56:32

just gonna hate whoever girl comes in

56:34

between her and her son and I

56:36

find it so creepy. It's

56:38

like the point to raise a

56:40

child and a boy is for

56:43

them to not need you anymore. It's

56:45

for them to fly off. And then, but

56:47

that's sad too. Even if you do that

56:49

perfectly, then you're like, oh, you poured your

56:51

heart into this person and now they're just

56:53

gone. But it's like, of course, of course,

56:55

that's the right thing to do. That's how

56:57

I view parenthood. I view parenthood as this

57:00

sacrificial experience of like, I'm going to try

57:02

my best to guide this human so that

57:04

they don't need me anymore. Okay, I have things

57:07

to say. I have some responses here. Yeah, I

57:09

know it hurts. It hurts me even to say

57:11

that. It is not sacrificial. It is like the

57:13

best thing ever. And

57:15

there is no sacrifice involved. This

57:18

was a big thing because before I was like, I

57:21

was not into babies. I was

57:23

like, oh my God, you guys, moms have to

57:25

change their baby's diapers and now when I'm changing

57:28

diaper, I'm like, this is my honor. Thank you,

57:30

let me serve you. I love you so much,

57:32

thank you. And also to

57:34

the boy mom thing, like

57:37

because I viewed all babies like that. I

57:39

was like, I don't want to do that.

57:41

I don't want, you know, but

57:43

once you have your baby and I have to,

57:45

it's the same for once they have

57:47

their little boys or you have your baby, like you're

57:51

just on the other side of that and

57:53

you would, this take, you wouldn't

57:56

connect to it anymore. Once you have

57:58

your boy or your baby, like, I

58:01

don't know what the fuck was I saying before? It

58:03

was clueless. But I know what you mean. And like,

58:07

you can't deny wanting a daughter. I think

58:09

I would just, I loved what my mom

58:11

and I had. Yeah. And so

58:13

I feel like I could do what we did. I

58:16

could put my baby on a plane alone. And

58:19

she would love it. And she would go wait at

58:21

summer important. But there is a fear about that though,

58:24

about having a daughter, even though I kind of am

58:26

with you. When the

58:28

few times that I did imagine

58:30

like being a mom, the

58:33

fantasy was always with a little girl. I

58:35

never considered even like, I never had an

58:38

image of my mom in my mind about

58:40

being a mother to a boy. Really? But

58:42

then I, you know, Whitney Cummings came on

58:44

the podcast and she was like, well, maybe

58:47

this is like, she found

58:49

out she had a boy. And I think at some point she

58:51

wanted a girl too, but she was like, maybe this is a

58:53

good thing. So I don't like project my girl wounds,

58:56

onto like another girl. It's

58:59

true. And I'm sure as soon as you get

59:01

pregnant, as soon as you have your baby, as

59:04

soon as you make that choice, yes, of course,

59:06

whatever baby you have, it's gonna be your life.

59:08

Right, right. It's just right now. Yes, yes. With

59:10

full objectivity, with full caffeine. Full

59:13

evening caffeine. Yeah. So

59:17

this article, I don't know what it's called.

59:19

I think it's like the heartbreak of having

59:22

boys, but she explains the

59:25

eventual heartbreak of your sons never

59:27

coming back home because she

59:30

says, like, you know, when they meet their

59:32

own families, they usually get absorbed into that

59:34

family. And no matter how traumatic of a

59:37

childhood I had with my mother, I'm always

59:39

gonna run back to her. Like there is

59:41

no leaving my mom. I

59:44

understand. I know that there is something to

59:46

that, right? Cause I just, well, I

59:48

don't know. Like, cause for us growing up, we always went

59:50

to my mom's side of the family, but that's also cause

59:53

my dad's side of the family was dead. So we couldn't

59:56

visit them. No, we didn't go to the cemetery. It

59:58

was in a bad neighborhood. But

1:00:01

I also see a lot of men who

1:00:03

are very close to their moms and it

1:00:06

I don't think it's always like that is

1:00:08

what I'm trying to say. But I understand

1:00:10

that take. I

1:00:12

don't know. I'm trying to.

1:00:14

Yeah. But I do see how

1:00:16

like like there

1:00:19

is a security in having

1:00:21

a daughter. Yes.

1:00:23

But also there's a security

1:00:25

and opposite gender because for

1:00:28

me like when I think about how close I

1:00:30

am with my dad like that's such a bond.

1:00:33

And I know that there's a certain kind of

1:00:35

bond that you have with each parent and

1:00:38

it's different. I don't know.

1:00:40

Like I but I'm with you guys. I have no

1:00:42

idea what it would be like to have a boy.

1:00:44

And also I will say I have a great relationship.

1:00:46

My I've been with my boyfriend for eight years. He

1:00:49

has a nephew that he's very very close

1:00:51

with who's like the only kid of that.

1:00:53

My boyfriend has two sisters. There's just one

1:00:55

guy. He's the

1:00:57

baby. Right. And he's a teenager now 16

1:01:00

ish him and I have such a great

1:01:02

relationship. We have so much fun together. He

1:01:04

loves thrift shopping. He's like we like the

1:01:06

same music. And we have an amazing. I

1:01:09

feel that I have a better relationship with

1:01:11

my boyfriend's nephew than everybody in the past

1:01:13

that I've ever dated has had with their

1:01:15

mother. Well that's

1:01:17

cute. That's hopeful. And if we texted him

1:01:20

and we're like hey do you feel like

1:01:22

we have a really cool relationship. He would

1:01:24

not answer. I'm sure of that. I

1:01:28

want the boy moms to like comment in and

1:01:30

tell us. I do not. Do not come for

1:01:32

me. I've had people come for me before. Do

1:01:34

you have for this take.

1:01:36

Not for this take. I

1:01:39

think that there's boy mom

1:01:41

and then there's like the toxic boy

1:01:43

moms. Those are very different. We

1:01:46

don't we don't put them near each other.

1:01:48

But yeah. My sister has one of

1:01:50

each and she's you

1:01:53

know we were just

1:01:55

me and her two girls and close to our

1:01:57

mom. And so. And

1:02:00

she loves having a boy. And so to me

1:02:02

that's like, okay, if you have a boy, it's

1:02:04

gonna be okay. Yeah, so one of my close

1:02:06

friends, she has three boys, one girl. She

1:02:09

says the same thing. She's like, dude, boys

1:02:11

are so much fun. She's like,

1:02:13

girls are fun. Boys

1:02:15

are fun, they're all fun. So I'm

1:02:18

like, okay. Okay, I'm walking away from this

1:02:20

being more open to little boys. We're

1:02:24

being like toxic positivity about

1:02:26

boy mom. I know because

1:02:28

you see those gender reveals where the dad has an

1:02:30

absolute breakdown when it's not a boy. Have you seen

1:02:32

those? He's crazy. That makes me so sad. I do

1:02:34

not like that. And I don't wanna be like that.

1:02:36

I don't wanna be the female equivalent of that, of

1:02:38

a dad. Because yeah, when you see

1:02:41

a guy freak out, when he finds out it's a

1:02:43

girl, you're like, ew, what does this guy think about

1:02:45

women? Exactly. And I feel that I have a very

1:02:47

healed relationship with men at this point in my life.

1:02:49

And so now I'm having to reflect on. No, I

1:02:51

know you want the bond that you have with your

1:02:53

mom. Don't step straight away

1:02:56

from, like that's very valid and

1:02:58

real. And I like that. And I feel that

1:03:00

too. Men who are

1:03:02

disappointed that it's a girl, you guys

1:03:04

are wrong. It's like, no one

1:03:06

is going to love a man the way a

1:03:08

girl loves her dad. Like they're

1:03:12

so stupid for not knowing. Oh, they don't

1:03:14

know, but it makes me mad. I know,

1:03:16

but it just comes off so like just,

1:03:21

like you said, it's like, what do they

1:03:23

think of girls? You know,

1:03:25

just to be sorely disappointed that you're having a

1:03:27

girl. And I was like, what do you think of girls

1:03:29

then? So sad. I know.

1:03:32

Did you do a gender reveal party? No,

1:03:34

I- Did you start a forest fire? You

1:03:38

can tell me. That was private. It's just up to

1:03:41

you. No, so I

1:03:43

had had a miscarriage three years

1:03:46

ago and because

1:03:48

of that, for some

1:03:50

reason, this is crazy. This

1:03:52

pregnancy that I just had, I

1:03:55

didn't think about gender literally

1:03:57

for one second until I got the

1:03:59

call. And it was so I'm

1:04:01

like, I can't believe but I think just because I was

1:04:03

so afraid of losing the pregnancy and so when she said

1:04:07

Like when I was on the phone and she said it's

1:04:09

a girl I was like, I

1:04:11

mean, I'm not gonna lie It was the best moment of my life And

1:04:16

it was also so and it was so I was like, oh

1:04:19

my god, yeah, of course it's like ah But

1:04:21

yeah, you were more excited to do like

1:04:24

a live reveal than a

1:04:26

gender reveal. Yes. Yes Exactly.

1:04:28

I think that that's maybe what people should do

1:04:30

instead I think that's nothing wrong with like, you

1:04:32

know, I know the first time I was pregnant

1:04:34

I was like wanting it to be a girl

1:04:37

and then it wasn't nothing and I was like, okay

1:04:39

next time I'll take whatever Yeah,

1:04:42

either one either one either one. Yeah, we have

1:04:44

to wrap it up which is so sad Sophie

1:04:46

I hope you come back on the show. You

1:04:48

definitely come back every day. You fit in here

1:04:50

a little too For

1:04:52

your own good. Thank you Where

1:04:54

can people find you are you gonna be touring

1:04:56

again soon? Yeah, I've decided

1:04:58

to not cancel very many of

1:05:00

my standup dates. Really? Yes because

1:05:02

I can do anything. Yes, it's

1:05:04

caffeine So,

1:05:07

yeah, I'll be on the road a lot when it's

1:05:09

just come out a week or two next week next

1:05:11

week Yeah. Yeah, I am opening for Taylor Tomlinson on

1:05:14

the road quite a bit and then I'm

1:05:16

headlining in Nashville

1:05:20

in two weeks I

1:05:23

have I have tons pretty much every weekend. I'm

1:05:25

on the road. I'm going to lots of different

1:05:27

cities Well, I had a full standup calendar this

1:05:30

job came at me very fast Oh my gosh

1:05:32

Full standup calendar and I think that lack of

1:05:35

desperation is what was able to make it happen

1:05:37

was because I had all this other Stuff planned

1:05:39

and so I was like, okay. Well, I'll just

1:05:41

have fun with this submission and then

1:05:44

then when it rains it pours So now

1:05:46

I have lots going on but yeah, you're

1:05:48

so funny and I think it will always

1:05:50

be pouring for you So you're so funny.

1:05:52

Thank you. You're so sweet I need to

1:05:55

come see your hour because dude if you

1:05:57

haven't seen her live, she's so funny. There's

1:05:59

no one like her when you opened for me

1:06:01

in December everyone was like was talking about you asking

1:06:03

about you. That is so sweet of you to say

1:06:05

thank you. You are so funny. Where can people get

1:06:08

tickets to see you? My

1:06:10

Instagram is sofbuds and the link tree

1:06:12

has all of my dates and ticket

1:06:14

stuff. My yeah on my I have

1:06:16

a tour poster on my Instagram too

1:06:18

that has all my future upcoming dates.

1:06:20

I have an email list in

1:06:22

my link tree as well so if you put your

1:06:25

city in I will email you. Do you bring

1:06:27

the banana on stage it really works it's like

1:06:30

fitting for you. It feels so right in my

1:06:32

hands. Do you guys do this with every episode?

1:06:34

Yeah. Can I have both of you? Yes. Thank

1:06:36

you. Klyla is having money problems. Yeah. Please I

1:06:38

need all the bananas I can get. Thank you.

1:06:41

You guys thank you so much for listening and

1:06:43

as always we will see you next week with

1:06:45

a brand new episode and also boy moms come

1:06:47

through comment and tell us how amazing it is.

1:06:49

Don't come for me. I'm

1:06:52

not interested. I'm not gonna

1:06:54

learn. I'm not gonna change my ways.

1:06:57

See you guys.