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0:32

Hello and welcome back to the You

0:34

Up podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham. And I am

0:36

Jared Fried. It is so good to be

0:39

back here with you, Jordana. How are you?

0:41

We're back from Europe. Back from Fra. Yes.

0:44

Ibiza, foggy London town.

0:46

Yes, which was not, it was quite hot

0:48

there. It's hot on the whole

0:50

globe. I have a special. Might be warming. I

0:52

have a rant. Rant it up. I

0:55

had an amazing time in London, but I have several

0:57

rants. It's

0:59

a Jordana episode. I'd like

1:01

to just say that if I'm coming across weird

1:03

this time, I got back last

1:05

night. I'm a little jet lagged. I

1:08

texted my sister this morning to wish her a

1:10

happy birthday a full month early by accident. You

1:13

messaged Olivia O'Brien by accident. I

1:15

accidentally sent Olivia O'Brien a waving

1:17

hand emoji, but literally just because

1:20

I didn't lock my phone. Yeah,

1:23

well, I'm having a weird day. I

1:25

noticed that you came back. This

1:28

was like cutting it. You were coming

1:30

back to tape this, I'm assuming. Which is great,

1:32

thank you. Of course. The whole

1:35

team here is appreciative of you being

1:37

here. And London was great.

1:39

Mike came, he'd never seen London. So he

1:41

came in, we had a- All the pictures of

1:43

Mike, I would describe as- Me

1:45

being like, I'm taking a picture. It

1:48

was very much like everything looked like you

1:50

were like, turn now. That's basically what it

1:52

was. It was great. He

1:54

had his first pint. He's

1:56

having a martini, he's at the museum. It

2:00

was very much like Mike's first trip abroad. Yeah,

2:02

I felt like I was taking my son on

2:05

vacation to see London. It

2:08

made me happy. But we had a great time. So

2:10

couple rants. I'll start with the

2:12

easy one. I love a Jordana rant. London,

2:14

this is not, again, this is not me

2:17

making it up. This is what people have

2:19

told me, never really gets that hot, generally

2:21

speaking, because it's whatever the climate is. It's

2:23

usually more cold than hot. It's always rainy

2:25

and kind of chilly. It's more

2:28

San Francisco than it is New York. So

2:30

this was like a particularly weird weekend. Well,

2:32

I have also been to London when they

2:34

tell you it's unseasonably hot. Maybe

2:37

it's not unseasonable. Maybe they just tell that to everyone.

2:39

Right. I never liked this.

2:41

I think it's unseasonably hot for 20

2:43

years ago when you remember being a

2:45

kid with no bills, you know, like

2:47

nostalgia wise, but the world is changing.

2:49

It's got hotter. Obviously. But

2:52

I'm not equipped. They're not equipped. I agree.

2:54

I was flying out of Heathrow

2:57

yesterday. There's no air conditioning

2:59

in the airport. No,

3:01

no, no, that's a no from

3:03

me, Doug. Literally, I'm just like drip sweating

3:05

in the, I'm like, how do you people

3:07

live like this? How do you not have

3:09

air conditioning in the airport? Of all places,

3:11

the place where you're the most rushed, the

3:13

place where you're the most nervous, the place

3:15

where you would be most

3:18

apt to sweat. And what's

3:20

annoying is we, and

3:22

to add on, if this is going to be the

3:25

luxury lounge, so to speak, where we can complain freely,

3:27

we get dubbed

3:29

like, you know, like,

3:31

oh, complaining Americans about the AC. It's

3:33

like, we're doing it right.

3:36

Yes. You're doing it wrong. This is,

3:38

it should be cooler. We're equipped for this modern world.

3:40

Right. You need to up your

3:42

game. If you were at the

3:44

perfect temperature all the time, wouldn't you complain

3:47

when it's not perfect? And it's one of those weird

3:49

things where like, I was like, am I crazy? Cause

3:51

no one else is, no one else

3:53

just seems to be going, not acknowledging that

3:55

it's 80 degrees in the airport. At

3:59

the airport, who do you go? like who would

4:01

help you? It's hot in here. You

4:03

just scream to the heavens. Like

4:05

if you went up to like the Delta gate, they'd be like, cool.

4:09

I couldn't wait to get on the plane where

4:11

they had like the air. Where is the CEO

4:13

of Heathrow? Like I don't even know who you

4:16

would talk to. It was just insane to me.

4:19

I was, it is always insane to

4:21

complain at the airport. There's no, like.

4:24

No one cares. No one cares. No one's going

4:26

to help you. Yeah, I mean you had your

4:28

own airport misadventures in the can I

4:30

saw with the security. With

4:33

the security line and the lounge and the

4:36

lounge is under construction. Well, the thing is,

4:39

again, another thing where it's like, where's

4:41

Mr. or Mrs. Airport CEO? Like where

4:44

is this person? Because there was no

4:46

sign at the Nise airport to let

4:48

you know that the lounge was under

4:50

construction. Right. So

4:52

you go through customs, French customs, and

4:54

then you go to like the international

4:56

gate area and you're expecting to see

4:58

a lounge and there's no lounge and

5:01

there's just chairs and one

5:03

place to have like a croissant. Right.

5:06

So like I am sitting there like, and it was

5:08

funny because I'm like, I ran up to like looking

5:10

for the lounge and I'm like looking

5:12

around and there's no door. There's no nothing.

5:14

And on the app it says it's next

5:16

to gate B27. And

5:19

then you go. So then when it wasn't there, I'm like,

5:21

well, then I was like, okay, I'll go back out to

5:23

like the mall. And they're like, you

5:25

can't go back out. And you have to go

5:27

through security again. Security, I didn't have to go

5:29

through customs. Are you claiming anything? Well, I'd like

5:31

to eat. Like you can't, I'd like

5:34

to go into France to

5:36

use your lounge is not a good reason. It

5:38

feels how coddled Americans are. Like we need, it's

5:40

remind, I was, I mean, I put this on

5:42

my story last night. I was watching Meet the

5:44

Parents on the plane. So is this rant two?

5:47

No. Have you moved on from rant

5:49

one yet? We have moved on, but it's just

5:51

what you were just saying reminded me of, you

5:53

expect jinxy to fall, to wander the streets without

5:55

food, water or toilet. It reminds me

5:57

of like us in the lounge. You

6:00

expect Jared to wander the airport

6:02

without food, water, or lounge? Or

6:05

toilet? Or lounge? Yeah, I mean, I

6:07

camp out in those lounge toilets. Yeah,

6:09

you make yourself a little camping ground. That's

6:11

right. Put my phone on the table. So

6:14

my other rant was about. Rant 2. Rant

6:17

2 was, we tried

6:19

to see Taylor Swift. So you

6:21

tried, how hard did we try? It was

6:23

at Wembley. It was at Wembley. Which

6:26

isn't like in the city confine. It's

6:28

out. It's out there, yeah. So

6:31

here was the thing. I'm

6:33

a Taylor Swift fan, but I'm not like a mega

6:35

Taylor Swift fan, which is kind of the worst place

6:38

to be. Well, here's the thing. As a Taylor fan.

6:40

I agree, because you're never enough. Right.

6:43

And you're not there to fight the battles. Right, but you

6:45

still like her. Right. I

6:47

enjoy Taylor Swift. I've listened to the albums. Like, I put

6:49

it on when she has a new one come out. I'm

6:51

interested. She's gotten so big

6:53

that like, it's now just, I got to

6:55

say that I was at the event. It's

6:58

Michael Jackson's tour when the bad

7:01

tour. Like, is that? Yeah, it

7:03

has cultural relevance. Right. So the idea

7:05

that like, anyone who's like

7:07

a medium fan, even less than that, they'll be

7:10

like, if I could go, yeah. Why wouldn't

7:12

I want to see what this person could? I mean, she's

7:14

doing also like, kind of, I mean, from

7:16

everything I've heard of the concert, it's a physical

7:18

feat that she's achieving. Yeah, I think she's on

7:21

for like three and a half hours,

7:23

which no artist does. Every night. Me

7:25

included. I mean, three and

7:27

a half hours. It's like 40 songs, which is

7:29

crazy. Listen, I'm not comparing myself to Taylor

7:31

Swift, but I am. Okay. I do

7:33

an hour, 10, hour 15 with this new set. I

7:38

get done. I need to like. And

7:40

you're not even like dancing. No, well.

7:42

I mean. Okay. I mean, you

7:44

are. I do a little dance. You do

7:46

are, but you're not. But I'm not like, yeah.

7:48

You're not doing a choreographed dance. Totally

7:50

right. I mean, I can't imagine

7:53

how good a shape she's in. Yeah, well, I

7:55

heard to prep for this. She was like, she was like

7:58

running on the treadmill and singing and like doing all. She's

8:00

never drank alcohol, right? Like she's not a drinker.

8:02

I think she drank, they were out till like

8:04

4 a.m. I saw her and Travis. Okay, I

8:06

actually wanna, we're gonna put a pin on this.

8:08

Remind me, I have

8:10

a question to you about the

8:12

Travis thing. Right. Go on, please.

8:14

So Saturday, we literally, up until,

8:18

while we're like prepping for this trip or while we're

8:20

talking about going to this trip, we're kinda like, should

8:22

we go? See, cause she happens, we didn't go there.

8:25

A lot of people flew in for this concert, as

8:27

they do, as you're seeing people are flying to Europe.

8:29

A lot of Americans. She's a whole economy. I've

8:32

made fun of it on my Instagram. I'm like, there's

8:34

two, you know, there's classes of people. I've like people

8:36

who have gone to the Taylor Swift concerts and people,

8:38

it's on Betches account right now. And

8:41

it's very interesting to hear like, people

8:43

don't like to be called. I

8:46

figured out the most offensive thing you could call someone

8:48

in 2024 is rich. Like

8:51

it's like literally the most offensive thing you could

8:53

ever say to people. People are like, no, it's

8:55

cheaper in Europe. It's like, oh, taking a week

8:58

off from work and flying abroad. Right. If

9:00

you have to add that in to the price. Right. That's

9:02

cheaper. And I understand like, yeah, it's $2,500 to go in

9:04

Indianapolis, but

9:07

like the idea that you're not

9:09

doing well, if you

9:11

can afford, the joke is, if you're going

9:13

to a Taylor Swift concert, you're probably doing

9:15

pretty well. Yes. Even if the tickets are

9:18

cheap, you still have to like, it's still

9:20

expensive. Change your life. A fraction of your

9:22

year is Taylor Swift. Like, and

9:25

listen, I think I'm okay. Sometimes I feel

9:27

crazy. I'm like, I'm okay saying I'm doing

9:29

well. You know, like in the world

9:31

of- Tacky. I'm

9:34

a tacky bitch. That's right. That's

9:37

naughty. Not old money. Not old, no. Not

9:39

old money. New as fuck. New AF. But

9:41

I'm saying like, it is so interesting how,

9:43

again, I have my theories as

9:46

to why, like, you know, we live in

9:48

a, you know, a victim culture where like,

9:50

you can like victim your way to the

9:52

top. That's how you can win on TikTok

9:55

is like, you know, if you're doing the

9:57

rich people are crushed on TikTok. There's no-

9:59

It's no worse thing on TikTok

10:01

than to be rich. Unless you're a

10:03

famous son of someone and then they go, they

10:05

don't care because you're cool. And

10:08

so, I'm sorry, my side rant to your

10:10

rant. So you're deciding whether to go. So

10:12

we're deciding whether to go. Jordana's sitting in

10:14

her mansion in Long Island, debating. I

10:16

loved it. I liked her new album. I have a

10:19

few different, I

10:21

loved a few different songs. Mike is not,

10:23

he's like, he thinks she's

10:25

fine. He doesn't, he's not like swayed one way or

10:27

the other, but he wants to see Wembley Stadium. He

10:30

likes to see a good stadium. It's very weird. I'd

10:32

like to see the structural. He does. He

10:35

likes to see how they build this place. He's

10:37

more impressed by like the- That's a hilarious, fake

10:39

reason to go. Yeah, Taylor's playing? I just want

10:41

to see that. Like it's like a very dude

10:43

reason. I guess it's the same stadium they play

10:45

soccer in or something, whatever. Yeah, no, it's a

10:47

famous stadium. I don't know, maybe he's bullshitting, but

10:49

he actually, he seemed almost more into going than

10:51

I was. I don't like crowds. I don't really

10:53

like, I'm not a big concert. It's not even

10:55

a Taylor's, I'm not like a huge concert person.

10:57

I don't like being in a

10:59

crowd. I find if I go to something as a,

11:01

as the person you were just describing, I like to

11:03

be in like a box. Yeah. If

11:06

I'm being honest. This is the most

11:08

relatable dating podcast on the internet, by the way. The

11:11

tickets for GA standing are like 1200. They're

11:14

like, they're like $1,200. Okay,

11:17

not cheap. Or something like, oh no, they were like $2,000

11:20

when we were looking and I'm like, I don't really, I was like, I

11:22

don't really feel like we need to pay $2,000 to go to this

11:24

thing. Life is a

11:26

mathematical equation. And actually that is

11:28

a preview of today's podcast

11:31

subject. There's

11:34

a lot of questions on, that

11:36

kind of made me think of. Life is, like, listen, $2,000

11:38

is not, is a number. The

11:44

minute you put emotion on the number is

11:46

when it changes. The emotion

11:48

on the number 2000 to some, that

11:50

is cheap. And someone listening

11:53

right now would be like, that's cheap to who?

11:55

And it's like, well, there's your emotional state. Yeah,

11:57

and that was a discussion we were having. Right.

12:00

And we both kind of said- As an economics major, I

12:02

enjoy this discussion. And we both said 2000 is not, we're

12:04

not the level of being into this enough to go for

12:06

$1000. We'll see if the price

12:08

comes down the day of. The

12:10

day of, it's not really coming down, it comes down

12:12

a little bit. And then it's like five, the show

12:14

starts at 5 p.m. It's

12:17

like five or 17 o'clock as

12:19

they say in Europe. I don't think they do

12:22

the o'clock. 17 o'clock. What

12:25

do they say? Now you're mike out of

12:27

himself. Yeah, I'd like to see the

12:29

structural- It's 17 o'clock.

12:32

I'd like to see how the beams work at

12:34

Wembley Stadium. What time should we go? 17

12:36

o'clock? 1700

12:39

hours? So it's 17 o'clock? I don't know how

12:41

they say it. I don't know how they say it either. It starts

12:43

at five. Nothing makes you feel-

12:45

We're in a park, we're in Hyde Park, which is

12:47

like two stops away on this tube from like, from

12:51

the stadium. And we're debating and he- Oh, you're

12:53

like getting closer and closer to the stadium as

12:55

you debate. We're still debating. He refreshes like,

12:57

he refreshes vivid seats, which is where

12:59

they resell the tickets. And he sees

13:01

two, this is after the show has

13:03

already started and there are

13:05

like a thousand for two. Cause now it's

13:07

coming down, show started, you're missing part of the set.

13:09

And now we're like, we look at each other, we're like, let's just do it. So

13:12

he buys the tickets and we're like, all

13:14

right, we got it, let's like head there. We're like, it

13:16

started already. Get on the two. So now it's a very

13:18

spontaneous, we're not kind of on the high

13:21

of the spontaneity of this thing. I'm into

13:23

it. I think this is great. This is new

13:25

married couple on a European

13:27

adventure. Exactly. And we're like,

13:29

let's do it. So we get on

13:33

the tube and we're like going the two steps. At

13:35

the same time, trying to like figure out how to download the

13:37

tickets now that we've bought them. So

13:40

we get, so like we're, there's no

13:42

service under there. So we're trying to figure out

13:44

how to download it. And the tube is very good. And

13:46

then we finally think, you know, when you have to

13:48

reset the password, cause you don't even know how you

13:50

like, what you're originally, you put the password in. So

13:52

we're resetting the password. We're trying to get into like

13:54

the system to get the tickets. We finally get in

13:57

just as we arrive to like the state, the

13:59

stop. where the station is, it's like a 15 minute

14:01

walk from there. We get off and

14:04

it says waiting for the

14:06

person to send you the tickets. Like

14:09

apparently on Vivid Seats, this

14:11

is a whatever the opposite of a shout out is.

14:14

Unplugged city. Unplugged city.

14:16

They have replaced. This

14:19

is Castle Town USA. Welcome

14:21

to your Fox Vivid Seats. I

14:23

have pardoned JetBlue and Vivid Seats

14:26

is my new, is

14:28

the new company that I will destroy. Well,

14:30

this is weird because that's like- And let it

14:32

be known if you are watching and you know

14:34

anyone there, I will find you.

14:36

Wow. Wait

14:39

a minute. So that's weird. So they have to like

14:41

contact the person and be like, hey, we found someone.

14:44

Well, yeah, they're like the person has to send you

14:46

the tickets even though they just charged us, right? Yeah,

14:48

I don't like that. So I'm like, and we're already,

14:51

we're at the subway station. So I call the company,

14:53

I call their customer

14:55

service and they're like, yeah, the guy has

14:57

to send it to you. I'm like, but I already paid

14:59

for the tickets. I'm like, the show is on, it's already

15:01

started. They're like, yeah, well, he has to send it to

15:03

you. I'm like, well, what if he

15:05

doesn't send it to me? Like the show is now, he's

15:07

then they're like, well, they, you know, give him a little

15:10

bit. And I'm like- Give him a little bit of Taylor

15:12

singing. And I'm like, well, what if he doesn't send them?

15:14

He's like, well, then you'll get a refund. I'm like, well,

15:16

what if he sends it four hours into the show? And

15:18

I'm already at the stadium. Like, well, I'm not gonna just

15:20

wait around for them to send the, how do you not

15:23

have to upload the tickets to the thing for

15:25

them to send it to you? It's probably

15:28

part of the explanation that

15:30

like a ticket master has

15:34

as to like why they charge so much or something.

15:36

I don't know. I'm guessing like-

15:39

Because it's a third party, it's

15:41

a resale market, but then they're

15:43

not. Yeah, I do understand where

15:45

you go, well, who it's

15:47

a chicken or egg, like who should give in

15:50

first, but I don't know.

15:52

But you paid. But I'm saying, they should be uploaded and

15:54

then if someone pays, they automatically send them to you. That's

15:56

not how they work. Right. They should

15:58

give up their tickets. to be put on there,

16:00

yeah. If you're gonna put them up, then you

16:02

should be having to- It seems flawed. It's

16:06

extremely flawed. And to me, so then

16:08

I'm said to him, I'm like, well, what if they don't send

16:10

them until the show ends at 11? What if they don't send

16:12

them until 10? Maybe this is their grift is what you're saying.

16:14

And he goes, well, you gotta read the fine print. Then

16:16

that's- What? Then

16:19

that happened. I'm like, are you fucking joking?

16:22

Is this customer service or customer asshole? I'm

16:24

like, is this, so this is scam? I'm

16:26

like, if I'm gonna pay you guys 500,

16:30

it's $1,000, 500 of those dollars are fees that

16:34

are paid to you. You're the service. If

16:36

I wanted to be scammed and take a

16:38

chance in paying $1,000, I would have

16:40

put it up on Instagram, who wants to sell me a ticket? The

16:43

whole point of using your company is that you make sure

16:45

I get the ticket. You're the deliverer.

16:48

Was he British? No, he

16:50

was in India. Oh. He

16:52

did not give a shit. See, I wish he was British.

16:54

Cheerio, I said cheerio. Oh, and he was so, I was

16:57

like, because he was trying to explain it. I'm

16:59

like, I'm confused. He goes, why are you confused? And

17:02

I was like, okay. Well, because I've lost my money.

17:05

So I was like, all right, well, then I want

17:08

to cancel the purchase. He's like, well, we don't

17:10

do cancellations. And I'm like,

17:12

so then I'm calling Amex to like

17:14

have them cancel the charges. He refuses

17:16

to do the thing. And then Mike

17:18

is separately like doing the text thing.

17:21

And then- Mike's looking at the structural.

17:23

He's watching me like become my, become

17:25

the version of myself that

17:28

he finds, what did he call it? Unbecoming.

17:31

Unbecoming. This should

17:34

be, I'm sure you're not alone. I would assume outside

17:36

of every Taylor Swift concert, there's like 70 people

17:39

just screaming at their phone at

17:41

something. They should have a little area,

17:43

like a smoking area. We'd already gone

17:45

like to the station. Yeah, you're there.

17:47

And then I was so irritated the

17:49

entire night. Did you

17:52

get them? No. We just can't,

17:54

like they finally said that they would request

17:56

to cancel that. I don't even know if

17:58

they charged itself. But I was just- So

18:00

irritated, bucking vivid seats, don't ever use them.

18:02

They're scam artists. They're scam artists. Well, the

18:04

problem is, it's who else do you go to? They might

18:07

be the only show in town. Isn't there like, there's

18:09

another Ticketmaster, someone something like that? Well, Ticketmaster,

18:11

yeah, I don't know. But to me, it's

18:13

like, if you're gonna charge that much money

18:15

in fees, all you need to do,

18:17

you don't even produce a product. Right. You

18:19

don't even produce it. And it needs to be right

18:21

away. The service is that you've created a marketplace that

18:23

like gets these tickets to

18:26

people directly, right? Yes, no matter when the

18:28

show already started. If you sell them after the

18:30

show starts, you should know that this is an issue that

18:32

could come up. Right, they should be like a

18:34

warning pop-up or something. Or, hey, we need to

18:37

like take your tickets now and half the

18:39

money from you. We'll give them half the

18:41

money to get. There should just be some

18:43

sort of way to do this that is

18:45

someone smarter than me could come up with.

18:47

Because to me, it's like, what am I gonna,

18:50

what was my other option? To wait there for potentially

18:52

hours for a ticket that might never come. And I'm

18:54

just gonna be standing in front of the stadium. Also,

18:57

it's not like they give you the number of the person

18:59

selling it. Like you can't like call them. Right, and they're

19:01

like, we've asked them to send it to you. I'm like,

19:03

well, okay. How do I know

19:05

when to spam? How do I know who

19:07

checks their email? You know, like on a

19:09

Sunday. You would think as the person who

19:11

posted that ticket. Here's the other thing

19:13

is like, if you lowered the price that day, then

19:15

you've been on the app that day. Because there were

19:17

no tickets at that price. That's why I didn't buy

19:19

them. Anyway, I'm still worked up over

19:21

it. It probably took a few years off of my

19:24

life. But, Vividzies, I will come for you. Rant

19:26

two. I will find you. I

19:28

will find you. Ms. Vividz.

19:32

Let's jump right in. Now that we've got you all worked up.

19:34

I'm all hyped up on whatever

19:36

virus I've got. Right.

19:39

And Vividzies is in there. This is

19:41

why they tell you to travel. Like you

19:43

should travel. Like you gotta see who you

19:45

are. Like people who don't travel think that

19:48

they're doing, they're great and never have an

19:50

issue. Do they? I think like

19:52

traveling makes you a little humbled.

19:55

It makes you aware of other

19:58

people and how other people live.

20:00

And I mean, these people listening, there's

20:02

people listening right now in London, sweating

20:04

their asses off with no AC. Like,

20:08

they live differently than us. Us. Exactly.

20:12

We're coddled. We're coddled, we are. I

20:14

mean, this is, no,

20:17

I've done shows in London

20:19

on unseasonably hot weather weeks

20:21

when they've told that to me. There's no

20:23

AC in the showrooms, like

20:25

the theaters. Yeah. So it's

20:28

like that. We had that in San Francisco. We had that

20:30

in San Francisco. In that stadium, it was like the one

20:32

extremely hot day of the year, and everyone was like, Right.

20:35

Shrips sweating in our show. And they said that everyone's like, and

20:38

you didn't know how hot it was until everyone on the

20:40

show was taking their red flag deal breaker paddles and like

20:43

waving at themselves, and we're like, I guess it

20:45

is hot, because we're on stage, you don't know

20:47

if it's just us. Yeah. We're

20:49

too hot on stage. Exactly. The show was

20:52

too hot. But I mean, happy 4th of July, almost.

20:54

Hold on, 4th of July, we

20:56

have, 4th of July, happy 4th of July, I

20:58

was thinking like, life is

21:00

gravity, everything we say, there's an inverse to it

21:02

that is helpful. I'm here being

21:04

positive, single Jared, okay? That's right.

21:06

This is where I stand my

21:09

mindset. On this podcast,

21:11

we have talked about beware of

21:13

holidays, birthdays, global

21:16

pandemics, and... Some

21:19

other shit. Some other shit. Tax season

21:21

is a new one. Thanks

21:24

to Divya's episode. Tax season. Tax

21:26

season. We'll do those all. Festival

21:28

season. Whatever it is, beware of

21:30

holidays is also be

21:33

excited for holidays. This

21:35

is the time to meet someone. Like

21:37

July 4th is the time that you're

21:40

gonna be around friends and friends of

21:42

friends. There's barbecues, there's going to the

21:44

water, your whatever body of water you're

21:46

going to, you are out. This is

21:48

out of the house season. If

21:50

you're sitting here, single

21:53

and sad, which you might be,

21:55

that's okay. I'm not here

21:57

to shame you for that. What

21:59

are you doing? Do you go to a fourth of July? Go to

22:01

a party. Do you got your red, white, and blue?

22:04

Do you got your outfit? Do you got your- Friend

22:06

of a friend party. Where, yeah, are you putting

22:08

yourself out there today? If

22:11

you're not, then you're

22:14

not helping yourself. And

22:16

I'm saying this to myself too. Like I'm,

22:18

I'm- Right. This is me- What

22:21

are you doing, fourth of July? I don't know yet, but I was

22:23

thinking- You're me in the Hamptons, right? I'm gonna be in the Hamptons.

22:25

Right. Yeah, I'll be out there. Like the douche

22:27

bag that you want to- That's right. You

22:29

wanted to out yourself out. I've

22:31

been hoping to be this douche bag my whole

22:33

life. Yes, to be- On the Hamptons for the

22:35

fourth of July. It's an expensive weekend to be

22:37

there. Not Hampton Bay's. West

22:40

Hampton. West Hampton. Which is not South Hampton.

22:42

Not South Hampton. Which is better. Better.

22:46

Still solid. Listen, we're working our way

22:48

through the Hamptons. I, I, I'm

22:52

just saying, like, this is the

22:54

time to meet, this is where you meet

22:56

someone. This is the time. This

22:58

is the friends of friends. And I'm not just

23:00

talking about, like, I'm not saying in the classic

23:03

way. Like I'm saying in the,

23:05

oh, I met this great couple and now

23:07

they've opened up my world to their 200

23:10

friends. Yeah. You

23:12

know, and I think like, you know, are

23:14

you a fix up person? Are you a person to

23:16

be fixed up? Are you a person to be introduced?

23:18

Are you a person to think of when I- Are

23:20

you fun? Like, if you're not- I think that

23:23

really is all it comes down to. Do you

23:25

seem like someone who's fun and

23:27

having a good time and has a good vibe? Good

23:30

vibe. Because that's someone I would want to be like,

23:32

how would, like, this is someone I need to introduce

23:34

to someone else I know because they're a good time.

23:37

And I would say, like, I'm not telling you, like, to

23:39

love the 4th of July, but I would say, like,

23:42

hating the 4th of July, like being like a negative- People

23:44

hate the 4th of July? I don't know. Just

23:46

like people just like think it's like the better

23:49

move to like be negative because that's like a

23:51

more fun way to be. What's the hate about

23:53

the 4th of July? I really- Maybe top holiday

23:55

for me. Yeah, it's summer Thanksgiving.

23:58

Yeah. Yeah, no gifts for- for anybody

24:01

eating, right? That's

24:03

Thanksgiving. The greatest part about Thanksgiving

24:06

is that you have to do nothing for anyone else. Right.

24:10

And that's 4th of July as well. You get to

24:12

like- Unless you're throwing a party. Well, thank

24:14

you to those party throwers. Yes. But

24:17

I'm just saying like this is a good holiday.

24:19

This is a single person's holiday. Agreed. This

24:21

is what a holiday, again,

24:24

beware of holidays. Also for

24:26

single people, invite

24:28

the holiday. Beware of holidays to single people

24:30

too. Everything I say beware

24:32

of for a breakup is also why

24:35

the person's gets breaking up with. I

24:37

wanna be single on 4th of July. I don't wanna-

24:40

I don't wanna be around this fucking person. I just

24:42

can't be tethered. There's gonna be so many fireworks. There's

24:44

gonna be so many people. All

24:47

these hotties and red, white and blue

24:49

bikinis. Yeah. I don't know why

24:51

every imaginary party is a Bud Light commercial

24:53

to me. I've definitely been in Montauk for

24:55

4th of July and made some bad decisions,

24:57

but like in a fun way. Bad

25:00

decisions lead to meeting new people, lead to

25:02

variables. That's true. It's all good. Yeah.

25:05

And if you're out there and you're gonna be

25:07

in the Hamptons this weekend, I'm there, July 6th.

25:10

What's the menu called? It's called the

25:12

West Hampton Beach Performing Arts Center. I'm

25:15

sure some kooky rich aunt sells her jewelry

25:18

next door. Is it like July 6th or

25:20

something? July 6th. Okay. So it's, I mean,

25:22

the most expensive weekend I could ever have

25:24

to like stay on the Hamptons. So

25:27

you know the whole crowd is gonna be, you can make all

25:29

your rich people jokes. Oh, and I got a lot. And

25:31

I'll be wearing my hat as you can see on YouTube.

25:33

In the Hamptons. I don't know. I'm debating.

25:36

The hat. You do, you look like, like you look

25:38

all American in the hat. Do I? This is

25:40

an all American ball taken. That's right. All

25:42

American. A rancher, a Yellowstone rancher.

25:46

So I'm also gonna be Brookfield,

25:48

Wisconsin. I've added

25:50

dates, Atlantic City, Newark, Sacramento,

25:52

Sac Town, Cleveland,

25:55

Indianapolis, Ooh, Austin,

25:59

Rob. Holly, St. Louis Mo, Batavia,

26:02

Illinois, which

26:06

is outside of Chicago, and Rochester, I don't know

26:08

if that's on my calendar yet, but I'm

26:11

excited, I'm on the road, I've already started working on New

26:13

Matero, I'm going to Nashville tonight, that's where I'm wearing the

26:15

hat if you're watching on YouTube, the hat has made its

26:18

first appearance on the show. Bring your hat to work day.

26:20

That's right, bring my hat, look I got the. What

26:22

does it say? It says, some people have

26:24

children, I brand hats. Did you put

26:26

that on there? Yes. Wow, love it. I've

26:29

also got my initials on the side. It's so

26:31

funny, it's a real warning to anyone who thinks

26:34

you might commit. I'm

26:36

just imagining you're hooking up with this guy, you think

26:38

like this could be the one. This guy,

26:40

the hat made me gay, oh. No,

26:44

the woman, yeah, yeah, okay. The woman's hooking up

26:46

with you, she's like, oh,

26:48

I see the future, she's emotionally masturbating, oh,

26:50

is that something, what does the hat say?

26:53

I don't want kids. I'm never going to commit. Next,

26:57

I should have put something like that under it.

27:00

Don't fall in love with me, kid. That would be great.

27:02

That would have been funny. Let's do it in the show,

27:04

let's jump right in. Let's jump right in. Yeah, listen, we

27:06

don't want to dance around, we don't want to like, you

27:08

know, not jump into

27:11

this great show. You've got a flight to catch, let's fucking

27:13

go. I've got a flight to catch, I'm going to Nashy

27:15

Nashtown, Steve Nashville. I don't know how you do all

27:17

this traveling, it's exhausting. It is tiring, I'm excited

27:19

right now, I don't know, I'm feeling good,

27:21

I'm like. Do you feel like refreshed

27:23

after our trip? You

27:25

know what, I do. I do too. I really do,

27:27

don't you? It was such a good

27:30

time. It was such a good time. How was Ibiza? Ibiza.

27:33

maybe Sunday episode, I'll tell the story. For another episode of Ibiza,

27:35

I'll tell the story of the Sunday. Sorry, we

27:37

did a lot of me. No, I wanted the

27:39

rants. Okay,

27:42

we got more rants to come. More rants to

27:44

come. That's the best part of this trip, is

27:46

we built up a stockpile of rants that we

27:48

can just throw out at our leisure. Right, I didn't talk

27:50

to you when we walked in. I was like, I want

27:52

to get this on the show, because no,

27:55

Ibiza. Ibiza? Ibiza,

27:57

Ibiza. Is there anything more embarrassing

27:59

than saying? It's really embarrassing, especially

28:01

in this hat. Can you

28:03

imagine? It's Ibiza. Ibiza. Oh,

28:10

the Olympics are coming. Da, da,

28:12

da, da. I

28:14

love the Olympics, love the Summer Olympics,

28:16

love the swimming events, love all the

28:18

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28:21

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28:23

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UUP. What are we talking

30:48

about today? All right, let's get into

30:50

it. Hi Jared and Anna.

30:52

Thanks for your always funny and insightful

30:54

podcast. I had a crazy chemistry via

30:56

FaceTime with a guy I met on

30:59

Raya earlier in the year. He

31:01

31 lives in Rochester, New York.

31:03

They let people in Rochester on Raya. I

31:07

don't know about that one. And

31:10

I 36 am in Toronto. This is the local bar mitzvah DJ. The

31:15

biggest celebrity of Rochester. I'm coming to

31:17

Rochester, please come on. Come on, guys, you're fucked. The

31:20

town that invented the garbage plate really not known

31:22

for its Raya. I'm not

31:24

coming to Rochester. I can talk some shit. You

31:26

can talk shit. There you go. All right.

31:28

When we first started talking, we FaceTimed a few

31:30

times for many hours each

31:32

time and honestly, the sparks and butterfly

31:34

feelings were totally there on my end.

31:37

He's a professor. They're letting professors from

31:39

Rochester on Raya. What happened to the

31:41

staff? Well, all the apps

31:43

start in a place of like, you

31:46

know this. Every app starts with we're

31:48

early. Not everyone can be

31:50

hot and educated and shit.

31:52

Right. Where are the one that does this?

31:54

I mean, look at what's going on with field right

31:56

now. You know, like I downloaded field just to see

31:59

like I told you. I've said it on this podcast

32:01

and. But they don't pretend to be exclusive, do they?

32:03

Well, it's supposed to be the, it started

32:05

in the idea that it's the kinky, it's

32:08

the, I'm gonna be out there

32:10

with my sexuality and the things I'm looking for.

32:13

And then if you go through the bios,

32:15

you can see people put like looking for

32:17

a spice or your hinge and it's like, no

32:19

bitch, no, you're not. You're not field type. Like

32:21

you're, I want, you know, hinge. You know, I

32:23

want a dating app and this is a

32:25

place where I'm gonna find people. Like it's

32:28

just, you're not looking for spice or hinge. You're

32:30

looking. Do you feel like people are co-opting

32:33

your sexual demands? My

32:37

fetish site, no, I went

32:39

there as an observer. You're like, I'm not even

32:41

like matching with people. I just went to like,

32:43

I gotta see. Like I'm interested, I'm curious. You

32:45

and I are curious about the dating world. So

32:47

I went and looked and I'm just like, it's

32:50

just really funny. Like someone DM me the other day,

32:52

or they didn't get DM, and

32:54

they sent a question in my box

32:56

on Instagram. She said. That's what

32:59

she said. Oh, I whisper questions in the boxes all

33:01

the time. All the time. Why

33:03

won't you come? She

33:07

wrote, what should I DM a guy

33:10

who has 500,000 followers? And

33:13

I got so, I was drunk and I got annoyed because I

33:15

was looked at her profile and it just was like a

33:18

private account. And she, you know, again, we're

33:20

all judging. I looked at her picture. It

33:23

just was like a nice woman. Like,

33:25

and it wasn't like she was like,

33:28

I'm not even gonna get into what she looked like. It

33:30

just looked like a very nice woman. She

33:33

doesn't want to DM the 500,000 person. You

33:37

know, like- She doesn't know what she's getting into.

33:39

Doesn't know. And also like, what do you think

33:41

is gonna happen? John Mayer is gonna

33:43

be like, let's go for a date and I wanna

33:45

learn everything about you via the one picture I had.

33:47

What about Neve? Remember when he

33:49

was on this podcast? That's how he met his wife. That's

33:52

something I would be clinging to if

33:54

I were- Well, that's again the extreme answering for the normal.

33:56

And also I don't know what his wife, again,

33:59

the chances. They might have started

34:01

off just down to hook up.

34:04

You don't know. I'm just like, you know,

34:06

if you're like, where's this

34:08

gonna go for you? You know, you're wasting your

34:10

time and energy. It's funny. And she's like, well,

34:12

and I said- It's almost like the female cat call.

34:15

Right, right. You know, where you're like, you think this

34:17

is gonna work, but like, you hear

34:19

about those one guy who it worked for.

34:22

Well, I mean, yeah. And it's like,

34:25

and then, you know, I use John Mayer as

34:27

the example, but then it's like, no, no, no,

34:29

this guy's nice. And he's, you know,

34:31

a professor who has 500,000 followers. It's

34:34

like, yeah, that guy thinks the women's sliding in

34:36

his di, DM is looking to fuck

34:38

him too. Right. And looking for casual,

34:40

not looking in May. Listen, you might go on a

34:42

date, but I don't know if it's gonna be the

34:44

date. You're just not gonna get- Unlikely

34:47

the- The version of what you want out

34:49

of this. Right. Okay. That's

34:53

all to say anyway. So anyway, the professor from Rochester

34:55

on- Spicier hinge. Yeah. It

34:57

is funny when I see Spicier hinge, I'm like, oh, well, this

34:59

app's done. Okay. Yeah.

35:02

It's like me on vacation.

35:04

If I'm there, it's already

35:07

more expensive and old. It's

35:09

not cool anymore. It's not cool anymore. If

35:11

I'm on field, Jared freed, I

35:14

will say this to give shit to

35:16

myself. If I am on anything, it

35:19

is old and not cool. Right. I

35:22

mean, look at me. I just

35:24

sent Olivia Rodrigo the hand. TikTok

35:26

is over. TikTok is over. Olivia

35:28

O'Brien. Olivia O'Brien. Olivia O'Brien, sorry.

35:31

Olivia, the other Olivia. We loved her. All

35:33

right. I hoped he

35:35

would make plans with me, but whenever he did,

35:37

he would cancel, but weirdly always provide me with

35:39

a valid excuse and show me proof. Screenshot,

35:42

a picture from the function he had to

35:44

stay late at of why he canceled. Weird.

35:47

Or he'd offer to drive the three hours

35:49

from Rochester to Toronto spontaneously, even though it'd

35:51

be like 8 p.m. Offer

35:54

didn't do it. Then one night we

35:56

FaceTimed and he surprised me by showing

35:58

up at my door. while we were on

36:00

FaceTime, albeit at 11.30 p.m. Cute

36:04

or creepy, depending on, I guess, who

36:06

your, how into him she is, which she sounds pretty

36:08

intense. I know what's going on here. We

36:11

drove around my neighborhood, there was no way I was letting

36:13

him up. I like how she thinks that's a

36:15

flex. Okay. You're

36:17

not coming in to this bedroom. Okay.

36:20

And after 45 minutes, he dropped me back off at home, I

36:22

gave him a hug and that was it. Since

36:25

then, it's fizzled and we don't speak by

36:27

text or FaceTime anymore. Like so many guys

36:29

who fizzled, he's the first to like, comment,

36:31

and view every one of my Instagram stories.

36:34

As I'm writing this, I see how silly and

36:36

obvious it is that he was just not that

36:38

into me and likely dating someone else. Why

36:41

blow super, I

36:44

like this email. Can I start? Let

36:47

me finish in the air. I'm sorry. I just, we're

36:49

laughing at her, but I like her. Yes. She

36:52

seems fun-ish. But why blow super

36:54

hot on some occasions and cold on others? Why

36:56

drive three hours to my place? Is

36:59

there any and all insights appreciated? Sincerely, not his ride

37:01

or die. Can I just, can we clarify? When he

37:03

comes to see her, that's the first

37:05

time they met in person? It seems like that. I

37:08

take it the same way. He's made promises,

37:10

hey, I should drive there, never did it.

37:12

And then he does it. Shows

37:14

up at 1130, you know, Toronto

37:17

to Rochester sounds farther than it is. It's

37:19

there in the same vicinity. It's a three

37:21

hour drive, it's a three hour drive. I'm

37:23

just saying like, it's not

37:26

unheard of. Have you done more for sex? I

37:30

can't say I haven't, but

37:32

I, what do you think? I'm sorry

37:34

I interrupted, but I do think what she, she's

37:37

asking a very relatable question.

37:40

Well, I will say one inter

37:42

in-person interaction is more meaningful to

37:44

me than 15 FaceTime, tags,

37:49

whatever things. So I do

37:51

think there's something about an in-person

37:53

interaction can make or break, like

37:57

if it's on or not. I'm gonna start with

37:59

that. Again, I would go. Let's ignore his

38:01

motives just for the

38:03

time being or like analyzing his motives. But

38:05

I do think like sometimes like you have

38:08

a good rapport over text or

38:10

even FaceTime and then you're in person and just not

38:12

the same. So I think that's

38:14

an option. But let's go back to

38:16

her question of like why would he play it hot

38:19

and cold and then or why would

38:21

he come in so hot if he wasn't interested? And

38:23

to me it's like the fact that she doesn't let

38:25

him up when they come over, it's kind of like

38:27

her showing to him that

38:30

I'm looking to seriously date. And

38:32

he was not, then he

38:34

gets that answer. And that's why he's like, well, I'm not

38:37

gonna drive three hours to Rochester. I was kind of just

38:39

looking for this to be like a fun hookup thing. Well,

38:41

even less, it's her need

38:43

to vilify is so interesting

38:46

to me. That's what makes me laugh. Like

38:48

he has a girlfriend? He's got a girl,

38:50

he obviously didn't like just not that into me

38:52

and likely dating someone else. That's

38:54

a little bit of creative, she's

38:57

taken creative liberties. Well, the dating someone else

38:59

thing, I believe I agree creative liberties. Could

39:02

be. But here's what goes through your head

39:04

is because she's not thinking in the animalistic

39:06

sexual mind of a man. She's

39:08

like, it's that if he wanted to, he would think.

39:10

She's kind of like, well, he

39:13

clearly doesn't like me that much because he doesn't wanna like

39:15

come up to Toronto and

39:19

like date me. Right, well,

39:22

yeah. So in a way she is like, he is not

39:24

into her enough to do that. To me that's like

39:26

a very dramatic way of putting it. Like you're

39:28

being harsh on yourself. But that's her way

39:30

of like placing it somewhere. Right, I

39:32

would say that like, men date

39:34

like someone who's really hungry and

39:37

binge eats. Okay.

39:39

And I would say that this is what this

39:41

guy did. You met on Raya, you start FaceTiming,

39:43

it's hot and heavy because that's how dating works

39:45

in the beginning. It's always

39:47

hot and heavy, talking and exciting. The only reason

39:49

you kept talking to each other because the vibe

39:52

was good. She's not really admitting

39:54

to the idea that this was dating. Them talking

39:56

and FaceTiming was them dating. It was a first

39:58

date. Those were your first dates. I

40:01

don't think they matter as much as the

40:03

in-person. I agree with you. But

40:05

this is you guys getting to know each other. And

40:07

the longer you get to know each other, the more real

40:10

it gets. And that's really what happened here. Well,

40:12

that's then why she's correct in saying you

40:14

just know that into her. Well, he's realizing,

40:16

again, this is to me, let's make it

40:18

math. He's going,

40:20

and I think what happens with

40:22

a lot of men is you eat, you binge eat,

40:24

and then you go, ugh, I probably shouldn't have done

40:27

that. And I'm

40:29

not apologizing for that. I'm just telling you where

40:32

his, she asked where he's coming from.

40:34

Oh, this is hot. I'm showing up at the

40:37

door. And now we had

40:39

a really nice time tonight, but I'm realizing that the

40:41

next time I show up at our door, it's gotta

40:43

be for a date, and we're gonna be serious. Right,

40:45

because she didn't let me up. Because she didn't let

40:48

me up. Which is a good thing. And it's a

40:50

good thing. Not letting you up, great. I'm

40:52

in favor of that. I'm just saying he

40:55

was dating you. It's

40:57

funny that she's like, the dating starts when

40:59

we get together and have that date. And

41:02

then we figure out if we wanna be together.

41:05

To him, the dating was happening from meeting on

41:07

Raya. Oh, this is hot, I'm into it, I'd

41:09

love to fuck her. Let's see what happens. And

41:12

then the let's see what happens

41:14

comes now with actual

41:16

consequences. You know, like the

41:18

let's see what happens. Again, I'm not

41:20

saying he wouldn't, it would

41:22

have disappeared after showing up at your place to

41:25

fuck. It's

41:27

a possibility, it's probably a good possibility considering how

41:29

it went. Well he disappeared the other way, yeah.

41:31

He disappeared the other way. But the other way

41:33

that he disappeared was actually the respectful way to

41:35

me. Right. Because he goes, oh, okay. I

41:38

saw how I felt after leaving there.

41:40

I wasn't madly in love. I

41:43

need to be- She lives three hours away.

41:45

She lives three hours away. Do I wanna

41:47

work on something from three hours away when

41:50

it took me this much to get to

41:52

her tonight for date one, it didn't really

41:54

go the way of, you know, the way

41:56

of fun and casual

41:58

that would allow- allowed me to

42:00

keep going or that I was looking

42:02

for to begin with, both options could

42:04

be true, to give empathy to this

42:06

guy that I don't think he's like, look,

42:09

I just wish we could fuck it. I'd never talk

42:11

to her again. Like that would be like a really

42:14

mean way to look at someone. Right, well that's

42:16

the worst side of the spectrum of the possibilities.

42:18

Right, there's a spectrum. So I'm thinking from my

42:20

perspective, I have been in scenarios like this where,

42:24

listen, I can speak to this, I match

42:26

with someone, we speak over,

42:29

we fall out of contact, I

42:31

get a DM, heart the DM, we

42:34

start chit chatting, and now

42:36

we start texting, and the texting's

42:38

building. Right. And they're far away and

42:40

you go, and then it becomes, hey,

42:42

we gotta call, and then I've sent a text, hey, we

42:44

should cool off, I don't know, I'm just letting

42:47

you know, like, I

42:49

know how, because I would say, I know a first

42:51

date is gonna go well with me. I'm

42:54

confident enough to know that I'm gonna like, we're

42:56

gonna go to a nice restaurant, we're gonna have nice drinks, we're gonna

42:58

have like fun. Right. And

43:00

that can get carried away. I'm just

43:02

letting, like, my

43:05

issue comes after that first date, I go, okay, just

43:07

like this guy, I go,

43:09

well, what's the math on this?

43:11

Do I wanna see Taylor Swift? Right.

43:16

Do I wanna spend $1,000 on Taylor Swift? Do I

43:18

wanna spend $2,000 on Taylor Swift? Right. What

43:20

is the cost of entry? And

43:23

she is not acknowledging cost of entry to

43:25

you, you're wonderful, I think she's a wonderful

43:28

person. Well, it actually kind of actually does

43:31

match very well with the Taylor Swift scenario,

43:33

because it's like, I'm a fan, right? I'm

43:35

a fan, I like her, right? And

43:38

just because I don't wanna spend $3,000 to see her, does

43:41

that mean I'm not that into her?

43:43

Now you're seeing where I'm coming from. This

43:46

is very much the male plight. Right.

43:49

And you start to go, like, and

43:51

men are not really romantics, I've said this on

43:53

the podcast before, we think of the

43:56

ending before we think of the beautiful what

43:58

ifs. Right. If

44:00

you're in the mindset- How do you wind up with anyone then?

44:02

I don't fucking know. I'm sitting here with you single. I'm

44:05

just saying, I'm relating to

44:07

this guy to also impart

44:09

to her, it is not

44:12

as personal as she's making it sound. It

44:15

is personal because it's, he reviewed

44:18

how the match went, but

44:21

he did the math and he's

44:23

not gonna spend three

44:25

hours on, you

44:28

know, Jaclyn tickets or whatever the fuck her name

44:30

is. On It Went Well. On It Went Well.

44:33

Right. Right. The concert, The

44:35

It Went Well to Tour. Well, I think that's

44:37

very, that's actually very encouraging because I think that

44:39

it does feel personal so many

44:41

of these times and so many women, myself included, would

44:43

probably go over everything that happened on that date and

44:45

say like, well, where did I turn him off? Where

44:48

did he decide that he wasn't into me anymore? And

44:51

I don't think it's like that, especially from

44:53

what you're saying, is

44:55

like it's not. Relationships or investments. Right.

44:57

Absolutely. Like where we're gonna invest my

44:59

time, my effort, my money, you know,

45:02

to like, to get to know someone. And,

45:06

you know, this is why these

45:08

distanced things, this is why the phone's so dangerous.

45:10

You text on the same phone, you text your mom

45:13

and dad and brother and your best friend. So it

45:15

can get very close very quickly. I've been guilty

45:17

of that. I've had that happen with me. So

45:20

I didn't, from my side, it was never

45:22

like, I just wish I could fucking get the

45:24

fuck out of here. Like, to me it's demeaning to me. The

45:28

personal thing is like, well, what would I have had to have

45:30

done, or what would it have

45:32

to feel like for you to say, let's

45:34

do this? Well, that's probably, that's the

45:36

thing where like, maybe he has an issue, Jared,

45:39

put a mirror in front of me, maybe I

45:41

have an issue, where it's like, I don't maybe,

45:43

you know, where these apps, the

45:46

game of it all, you know, can

45:48

lead you astray. That's, you know, I-

45:51

Cause it's, I mean, it's not not personal at

45:53

all. Right, but it's also like his problem. This

45:55

might be his problem laying out, where you're

45:57

the bumper car he's bumping off of. But

46:00

I'm just saying like there is a level you can't say

46:02

it's completely not like it could have been anyone like it's

46:04

like There is a personal layer to

46:07

it of like someone you didn't feel something

46:10

Something I was missing. It's not it's it's

46:12

a match right again to make it less

46:14

personal It

46:17

went well was not enough right

46:19

to good to and again come

46:22

to here come you know Let's you know

46:24

and there's again. I just

46:26

don't think she's letting every

46:29

relationship starts with that beautiful

46:31

vibe. That's really good and

46:35

That vibe happens in zero consequence

46:37

land in the free view You

46:40

know if you think of like when you get a what

46:42

gives you a free view like a video game like uh They

46:45

used to give you a video game. We can play the first three levels You

46:48

know and then they'd be like okay now you gotta

46:50

buy the game right he was He

46:52

played the first three levels for free and

46:54

again. That's not that gross you didn't hook up You

46:57

just caught each other you know Got to

46:59

know each other enter you had some banter you got to

47:01

know someone and then he got to level

47:03

three and it was like honestly,

47:05

this is like you were saying saying much better than

47:09

Someone who lives three hours away sending

47:11

you more mixed signals Text

47:13

continuing to text you after if they're not

47:15

that interested right I They're

47:17

saving your time right, and it's like this

47:20

is the lesson for not

47:23

Getting together and taking a long time you know

47:25

this is the lesson because again if you're someone

47:27

I Think like texting

47:29

can be like sex for some people some

47:32

people you know they can get carried away

47:34

over text and and and feel too much

47:36

from texting and Maybe you need

47:38

to let in the same way that some people can't have sex in

47:41

the first date and some people can right So

47:43

maybe this person like the lesson is like

47:45

yeah I need to go on a date right

47:47

away like I can't put the time I'm

47:49

the time of texting is not really

47:51

working for you know the issue it kind

47:54

of feels like for You

47:56

know if you're dating a guy who's older right? this

48:00

This is maybe more likely to be his issue,

48:02

the older he gets. Cause

48:05

if it wasn't his issue, he might've settled

48:08

down with someone. So

48:10

it's tough because it's like the older you get, maybe the

48:12

more you wanna settle down, but the more the people that

48:14

are your age or a little bit older

48:17

are those people who like, have a

48:19

tougher time saying, this went well, let

48:22

me invest in it. Listen, this is

48:24

the plight of, I

48:28

would say women getting older dating. And

48:30

I'm not trying to like talk shit on my

48:32

own, but like- Cause if you got into that

48:34

age and you haven't settled down, you're more likely

48:36

to be the person who has trouble- Settling

48:39

down. Like committing to one person. And

48:41

especially the men used to a

48:43

certain lifestyle, used to like living

48:46

a certain way. And I was

48:48

listening to oversharing the update.

48:51

Oh yeah, that's crazy. It was wild. And

48:55

the guy that was hitting on the person behind

48:57

the desk and then his excuse was like, oh,

48:59

I'm so used to being single. And it's like,

49:02

I guess that's a good excuse, but it's really

49:04

not. Right. You know, like, especially in the beginning

49:06

when you're dating someone, like you

49:09

wanna be obsessed, you know, you wanna be-

49:11

Yeah, and I mean hindsight, I guess- So

49:13

zoned in that you're not like, oh, look

49:15

at the cashier. Right. Especially like

49:18

in front of the person you're dating. I

49:20

mean, now looking back, maybe that would have been a, should have

49:22

been a bigger red flag for both of us, but- Right, well,

49:24

I don't know. Could've, would've, should've, you know, but

49:27

it's something I, her email,

49:29

this email is great because it's relatable. It's

49:32

also just, it

49:34

is interesting the need to like, wow,

49:36

he's definitely got another wife. It's like, I

49:39

don't know. Well, you're trying to make meaning

49:41

out of something that seems random. Well,

49:44

also to give meaning to other things, him

49:46

being like, I'm gonna drive over and show

49:48

up, him showing up, is his attempt at

49:50

making something that's gotten a little

49:52

too more serious than he would have liked

49:55

more casual. By just

49:57

showing up and not saying I'm gonna show up. Right,

49:59

it wasn't a formal date. It sounds romantic to me.

50:01

Well, I would say that was more- Sounds

50:04

like something out of a rom-com to

50:06

me. And I'm here. He

50:09

might be using manipulation to act as... But

50:11

I would say, when I hear that he's like, I'll

50:13

just show up, I'll just be there. And then he

50:15

does it, you go, oh, he wants to set... He's

50:18

trying to recreate a

50:21

casual... He's trying to invent casual, which it isn't

50:23

at that point. He

50:27

was trying to not admit that their

50:29

texts mattered more by

50:33

showing up, oh, we're just two casual people. You're saying

50:35

he's trying to make it more casual, but I think

50:37

that that's a very wrong

50:40

thing to... Stupid.

50:43

I mean, in terms of what a woman

50:45

would interpret, look at the Jason Tartik. Keep

50:48

talking about this. What's her name? Kat

50:51

Sadler. Stickler. Stickler, sorry.

50:53

Stickler. I've

50:55

had a day as you know. Yeah,

50:58

where their hard launch post is like, or

51:01

the next post she writes about, as she got

51:03

off the plane, it's like, she wasn't doing that

51:06

thinking, oh, well, just fuck for the weekend and

51:08

then whatever. And

51:10

he knows that. He knows that too. He knows

51:12

what I'm saying. But you're saying he's saying that

51:15

makes it more... To me, that's the same thing

51:17

as this other thing. They kissed and then she

51:19

gets off the plane. Well, they've never met before.

51:21

That's, I think... I guess. That's

51:24

the only reason I could see... To me, it's like, that's what the

51:26

our story... Men have gotta know

51:28

that that's what the our story in

51:32

our minds are made of. He showed, we were

51:34

taught, he just showed up and then

51:36

we lived happily ever after. I guess, you

51:38

know... Because exactly what she wrote

51:40

is like your dream and you see that and you're like,

51:42

oh, of course, when he tells me to get off the

51:44

plane, he wants

51:46

to be with me forever because it happened for them. The

51:49

way this was told though, that's why it was like my

51:51

first instinct was like, to get inside the mind of a

51:53

murderer. He wants a fun hang.

52:00

I don't know, Jason's story that he wrote on his.

52:02

But that's kind of like, you're like, well,

52:05

you're not the exception. You're the rule, you're

52:07

not the exception. Like to me, I guess, like

52:09

that's the exception, which is why it's such

52:11

an adorable story. Would

52:13

it come off very different if they like

52:15

hooked up and then he stopped texting her?

52:17

I agree. Let's

52:19

do some awkward sex. Let's do

52:22

it. Let's do it. This

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54:59

J and J, all the feathers. I'm

55:01

currently traveling in France. Fra right

55:04

now with my nine year old daughter. About

55:06

to surprise her with the Taylor Swift

55:08

concert. Fucking bitch. This mom. Don't

55:12

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55:14

were in Paris this past week and now we're in

55:16

Lyon. Is that how it's, Lyon? Yes. Did

55:18

I do it right? That's Lyon, not Cam Lyon.

55:21

Okay. I ain't Lyon. We're in

55:23

Lyon. After two days in

55:25

Paris, I opened my hinge app out

55:27

of curiosity. There

55:29

we go. A little spicy hinge. A

55:33

like from a particularly handsome Parisian

55:35

caught my eye. Our conversation followed

55:38

like Vin. Flowed

55:40

like Vin. That means wine. Wine,

55:42

thank you. For all of you uneducated people out

55:44

there. Me. I was

55:46

staying at a small but classy boutique hotel.

55:48

That's the move abroad, I think. Yeah.

55:51

A boutique. Stay

55:53

away from the Marriott. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even

55:55

though Marriott loved Bonvoy, I would love some

55:57

points. Okay,

56:01

I was staying at a boutique hotel and I told him

56:03

we could meet at the hotel bar if my daughter fell

56:05

asleep, she did. But even with a

56:07

locked door, I still felt a little uneasy leaving

56:10

her in the hotel room. I mean, that's how

56:12

Madeline McCain went missing. Madeline McCain. Who's

56:14

Madeline McCain? I'm a big true, she's like a, I'm a

56:16

big true crime fanatic. She's like someone who gets,

56:19

the parents were like on vacation with her. They left her

56:21

in the room, they were like on the vacation with a

56:23

couple, with another family out. And

56:25

then they went to dinner, but they like had someone

56:28

go check on the kids every hour and

56:30

someone stole her. Yeah, it's a

56:32

big, it was a big thing, Madeline McCain. As

56:35

a true crime aficionado. I

56:37

mean, this is literally a similar

56:39

scenario. Yeah, I would also

56:41

feel uneasy leaving my kids. So before

56:43

I, I mean, you're in a foreign land,

56:45

I don't know. I do

56:48

it at a bon voyage at a Marriott, not at

56:50

a boutique hotel, but I, so

56:52

before I met him, I'm a guyvert,

56:54

a baby monitor of sorts by calling

56:56

my hotel. I love the way people

56:58

rationalize their own decisions with

57:00

like, don't worry, I put a piece of tape on

57:02

the door. No one's gonna get in that way. No

57:04

one's gonna get in that way. And keeping my cell

57:07

on the, okay, monitor of sorts by calling my hotel

57:09

room for my cell, leaving the hotel phone off the

57:11

hook and keeping my cell on the bar with me

57:13

so I could hear anything, if that makes sense. It

57:15

does make sense, it sounds like it costs a lot

57:17

of money. I also muted

57:20

my end so I wouldn't wake her up. Anyways,

57:22

I thought I would just meet him for a

57:24

drink and maybe flirt, but he turned out to

57:26

be super fucking hot. And

57:28

we had great chemistry. We ended up being the last

57:30

ones at the hotel bar and making out, but we

57:32

had nowhere to go to finish the deal for the

57:34

night. I honestly consider bringing him into my room and

57:36

doing it as quietly as possible in the bathroom. No.

57:40

Mommy! This is

57:42

giving you a- Why are you shitting so pleasurably?

57:45

I'm getting a little bit of a secondhand trauma for this.

57:48

I mean, listen, mama's gotta fuck!

57:51

I don't want a mom, I don't want a mom shame,

57:53

but- I'm through with this shit.

57:55

I need to get the whole fucked up. She thought about

57:57

it, she didn't do it. All right, she didn't do it.

58:00

She didn't do it. We just said to

58:02

be continued. She thought about it. She masturbated to

58:04

it later. You're on vacation

58:06

with your kid. I know, but yo.

58:10

Why don't you do this on the week her dad has her? Mama

58:12

got a climax. Make the

58:15

t-shirt. Betcha's mom's. We

58:18

just said to be continued. Resigned ourselves

58:20

to a passionate but sexless night. Listen,

58:23

I am Mr. Passionate but sexless night. That

58:25

is like my move, okay? I think you're-

58:28

Put that on your hat. I'm passionate but

58:30

sexless. Mr. Passionate but sexless night. This is

58:32

like my move. Listen, you know how many bar

58:35

makeouts I've done? That's sometimes better than the real

58:37

thing. I'm okay with that. Listen, at

58:39

39, pizza

58:41

and masturbating. Leave it

58:43

there. There it is. We tried to

58:45

get together the following night when he returned from a

58:48

work day in London, but there were mass delays on

58:50

the Eurostar. The universe may have

58:52

been trying to hinder this rendezvous, but I

58:54

was not giving up. I learned the hotel

58:56

guests were allowed to reserve the sauna for

58:59

themselves. This time with a

59:01

bribe of room service crepes, I

59:03

told my daughter I was going

59:05

to get a massage and she dead bolted

59:07

the door with the instructions to not open

59:10

it to anyone but me. Jordana

59:16

is not in favor of this mothering. I

59:19

don't like it. I'm sorry. Maybe it's

59:21

again, I don't have kids. I

59:23

get you, you know, there's a- Bolt the

59:26

door, put on some TV. It's

59:28

just more like the amount of mental energy going into

59:30

this thing while you're supposed to be on this like

59:32

mother-daughter trip, I find is like- That's going

59:34

into something else. Right, that's going into like how

59:36

to creatively figure out how to fuck someone. And I

59:39

would say this if this were the dad too, obviously.

59:41

I wonder how- I just think it's a little- If

59:44

it was a dad with a daddy-daughter trip and

59:46

he's like, lock the door, daddy, gotta fuck. I

59:49

feel like it was a little icky to me.

59:51

I don't know. I'm in favor of, I can

59:53

understand- My mom did this. I

59:56

met my French lover at the hotel bar again.

59:58

We headed towards our reserve. or so I

1:00:00

thought. Reception had reserved the wrong time and gave

1:00:03

my reservation away when I was late. Ugh, this

1:00:05

is like getting the conference room. And

1:00:07

having someone else be in there. Yeah,

1:00:12

we got the two o'clock. Yeah,

1:00:14

we said we were gonna be in there. Excuse

1:00:16

me. Excuse me. Yeah, I know. I'm

1:00:19

sorry, we did reserve two o'clock here. That

1:00:22

damn universe obstructing my sex capade again. I told,

1:00:24

at this point though, I would agree with you.

1:00:27

Things have gone this awry, that

1:00:30

I'd be like, I'm gonna get back to my daughter

1:00:32

and watch Blue's Clues, you know, in French. Yeah, you

1:00:34

got the concert, come on. I told Reception that they

1:00:36

needed to tell me when this new person was finished

1:00:38

because they wrote down the wrong time. I declined their

1:00:41

offer to meet, for me to

1:00:43

share the sauna with this person. Yeah, we're not looking

1:00:45

for a five way. So,

1:00:47

Frenchie. This is what everyone does in France. Right. So,

1:00:49

Frenchie and I sat at a sofa near the bar

1:00:52

while we waited. Just two people waiting to fuck in

1:00:54

the sauna. If I hadn't been

1:00:56

so ravenous for this man by this point,

1:00:58

I would have appreciated this sexy buildup. After

1:01:01

some more making out, I caught a glimpse

1:01:03

of a man in a robe at the

1:01:05

elevator. Did you see that? This was our

1:01:07

sauna usurper, grabbed my man's hand and bolted

1:01:09

down the stairs. We made our

1:01:11

way to the very elegant, I might add, sauna, and

1:01:13

immediately went at it. It was hot. No,

1:01:17

like literally hot as balls. Sounds like

1:01:19

a Heathrow airport. Right. With

1:01:22

my mind preoccupied with how to pull

1:01:24

this tryst off, I somehow disregarded the

1:01:26

little fact that the saunas are by

1:01:29

definition steaming. I certainly didn't

1:01:31

mind as it's actually enhanced our

1:01:33

experience. There were two chaise

1:01:35

lounges and a shower in the room.

1:01:37

We had incredible sex on one of

1:01:39

the chaise lounges and then

1:01:42

showered. After all this, we gathered and

1:01:44

disposed of our towels and headed back

1:01:46

up to the lobby. I

1:01:48

mentioned how I would have to dodge the people at

1:01:50

reception out of embarrassment, but he said it's actually not

1:01:52

completely uncommon to reserve a sauna for such reasons over

1:01:55

there. That sounds like something a man who's trying to

1:01:57

fuck you in the sauna would say. This

1:01:59

is something. Every Frenchman does. Totally

1:02:02

normal. See, that's not water,

1:02:04

that's cum on the wall. We do this all the

1:02:06

time. It's very French. This

1:02:08

is what we do. Do you want to live

1:02:10

like the locals? Right. What, are you

1:02:12

a loser, Taurus? Doesn't fucking the sauna then

1:02:15

hose each other off like elephants? But

1:02:17

he said it's actually not completely uncommon. In fact, one

1:02:20

of the employees passed us. Oh! No!

1:02:23

Au revoir! Done fucking?

1:02:25

I hope it wasn't the employee that had

1:02:28

to clean the sauna after you were done.

1:02:30

As he was leaving his shift when we

1:02:32

came up and gave us a cheeky smile.

1:02:34

So Viva La France and it's sex positivity,

1:02:37

au revoir, MacGyver,

1:02:39

m'rae. Mayor. Mayor.

1:02:42

Means mom. Is that mom? Yeah, mayor.

1:02:44

It's mom. We went to French in high school.

1:02:46

We love French. Okay. Took French in

1:02:48

high school. So I could say I'm a pretty

1:02:50

big expert. I just spent four days in Cannes.

1:02:52

You're right. Fair. What

1:02:56

do you think of this? I can't think of anything I'd want to

1:02:58

do less than have sex

1:03:00

in a sauna. In a sauna? In a sauna

1:03:02

that's so, it's like. I think it's hot. You

1:03:04

really? Sweaty bodies rubbing against each other. I think

1:03:06

it's hard to breathe. Maybe more of a steam

1:03:08

room is harder to breathe. Right. The sauna I

1:03:10

guess is the way it's a dry heat. It's

1:03:12

dry. I liked that there was a shower nearby

1:03:15

so you could like put cold water with the

1:03:17

hot. Ah, I'm

1:03:19

into this. This is hot. I

1:03:21

mean, you know, the daughter upstairs

1:03:23

locked away. Yeah. It

1:03:25

is a lot to get to like, to

1:03:28

me it's a lot of effort. Yeah, it was a lot. To me it's

1:03:30

a lot of effort for like, what's

1:03:33

supposed to be a non, again, I don't want

1:03:35

to judge. Well, I am judging. I'm judging. I'm

1:03:38

so the type to think that like, one

1:03:41

thing means that like, we shouldn't be doing

1:03:43

this. I would have bailed 7,000 times. Like

1:03:46

this French guy wanted five too. Okay, so you do judge. Good. Yeah,

1:03:49

I'm judging. There's a million times I would have bailed.

1:03:51

I would have been like, what's this

1:03:53

all for? I can go take a

1:03:55

shower. I don't know. You're for Taylor

1:03:57

Swift. Right. Yeah. But I

1:03:59

got I'm trying to say this will probably carry

1:04:02

her. This is like, you know, the sexual

1:04:04

buildup. I get it, and then

1:04:06

it's forbidden because the daughter's upstairs,

1:04:09

but it's kind of just weird, I think. It

1:04:11

is a lot. I don't know if it was your

1:04:13

friends upstairs, or even like... It

1:04:16

just feels like your kid's upstairs. It just feels

1:04:18

like it gave me. I do

1:04:20

wonder if it was a divorced dad with his

1:04:23

daughter, how people would feel about

1:04:25

the story. I would think it was equally gross.

1:04:27

Right. I do think it's like a little

1:04:29

bit more... Like the point of the trip is that you're

1:04:31

with your kid. Right. Not like... But

1:04:34

I'm sure they spent time during the day together. I'm sure

1:04:36

she wasn't like fucking at a

1:04:38

French fry hut. Also just like the way that

1:04:40

it could have gone wrong, how embarrassing it would

1:04:42

be for like the kid. I don't know. I'm

1:04:44

just, I guess I'm sensitive to that. It would

1:04:46

have been a bad thing if her kid did

1:04:48

get taken. Yeah, I would say it would be

1:04:50

bad. And then they're like, where were you? It's

1:04:53

in the sauna. Sauna. I'm like in the guy I

1:04:55

met on Hinge. After

1:04:57

we waited on a couch, like it was a train station.

1:04:59

Yeah. No judgment.

1:05:02

Some judgment. T.C. Yeah.

1:05:25

That's every comedian who's ever lived

1:05:27

has done a joke about sex and a shower is not

1:05:29

as good as a... How bad is sex and a shower?

1:05:32

Of course. At least there's a bench in a

1:05:34

sauna. Listen, if you have a... Now I'm

1:05:36

wary of using any hotel sauna. Just

1:05:39

private saunas. Well, it's all disgusting if you really

1:05:41

think into it. Like if you go to the sauna

1:05:43

at the gym, I go to the sauna... I put

1:05:45

a towel down or something. Yeah,

1:05:48

the towels just... What? The

1:05:50

cum towel. I guess someone else's cum towel.

1:05:52

All right. We'll move on to the next

1:05:54

one. We did a keep sending your sex

1:05:56

story. Awkward encounters. All awkwardness. Awkward... All

1:05:59

awkward... uupatbitches.com. All right, let's

1:06:01

do another one. All right. Hi,

1:06:03

J&J. I've been a silent listener for a long time

1:06:05

now and I absolutely love the pod. Seriously has helped

1:06:07

me through a lot, so thank you. But now I

1:06:10

really need some advice. We got you. I'm 26. I've

1:06:13

been single for about four years and have recently

1:06:15

decided I want to be more intentional and serious

1:06:17

about dating. Good for you. That's

1:06:19

the girl you want to avoid. Right. More

1:06:22

intentional. That sentence, ta-ta.

1:06:25

Last week I got a DM from a friend of a

1:06:28

friend asking me if I was single and saying she wants

1:06:30

to set me up with her boyfriend's brother. Love it.

1:06:32

Love everything about that. That's the best. I was a little

1:06:35

hesitant but willing to give it a try. My friend invited

1:06:37

me to hang out with the group, including

1:06:39

him. Love that. The next day. And

1:06:41

we had a great time. Great way to meet friend and friend. I

1:06:43

think that's a good friend. Listen, we

1:06:45

talk a lot of shit. We can be negative about

1:06:48

like setups and how they're done. It's a great way

1:06:50

to do it. This is perfect. This is of age.

1:06:53

26 big groups are still getting together.

1:06:55

Right. 36, someone might be

1:06:57

like, I don't have this type of thing. I'm not

1:06:59

having a pregame. Right, like 26, this is like, I

1:07:02

gotta say. You can make it casual, but like fun.

1:07:04

Right. But see if you, at a formal date,

1:07:06

you can see if you have a chemistry. And

1:07:08

not to belittle the 26 year old men who

1:07:12

might be listening to this. Like, there's

1:07:15

shame and consequence built into this. Like they

1:07:17

can't be a monster. Right. You

1:07:19

know, they're the friends, the boyfriend's friends. You're gonna,

1:07:22

you got eyes on you, so to speak. You

1:07:24

got aunts watching. Okay, so we spent the night

1:07:26

together just talking and he seemed like a really great

1:07:28

guy. When I left, I told him balls in his

1:07:30

court, no pressure. But I would be

1:07:33

interested in seeing him again. Okay. He

1:07:35

texted me the next day, we chatted a bit. And then he asked me to

1:07:37

hang out. Then he dumped me. Oh. All

1:07:40

right, so let's read these texts. Okay,

1:07:42

ready? Okay. I'll be him,

1:07:44

you be here. Okay. Are you free this weekend?

1:07:47

We could go to the beach and get dinner after. Yeah,

1:07:49

I'm free. That sounds great. I'm

1:07:51

sorry. Okay,

1:07:54

this is the, I didn't read it right. So he texted her

1:07:56

a night before at like nine. We said they are free

1:07:59

this weekend. She texted that. morning. Yeah, I'm free. It

1:08:01

sounds great. And then by 3.30, he texts

1:08:03

again. Is the next

1:08:05

day or the other. So

1:08:09

that more, so they have a date set in

1:08:11

the morning, then he's basically make the plan. Yeah.

1:08:13

She's on free. So that's great. Hypothetical beach. He does

1:08:15

reach out. He says, yeah, let's do it. And he

1:08:17

gives a hypothetical plan. She's like, I'm in. And now it's time

1:08:19

for him to like, give the actual plan.

1:08:22

And this is what he comes back with. I'm sorry.

1:08:24

I think I jumped the gun. I was thinking about

1:08:26

what you said about dating and how guys just date

1:08:28

to date. And I feel like I'm going to be

1:08:30

another one of those guys. I don't know how committed

1:08:32

I am to it right now. And in the end,

1:08:34

I don't want it to lead to wasting

1:08:37

your time. I hope I didn't waste your time. Damn.

1:08:40

Had to get my hopes up first, lol,

1:08:42

but, but all good. Appreciate the

1:08:44

honesty. And then she said his reasoning

1:08:46

is because he's not looking to date, which

1:08:48

is fine and respectful. But my question is, should I

1:08:51

have not said anything that first night about what I

1:08:53

was looking for? We briefly talked about

1:08:55

dating history. And I had said my last relationship

1:08:57

was four years ago and I've dated since, but

1:08:59

nothing serious because a lot of guys don't want

1:09:01

to commit nowadays. Nowadays.

1:09:03

These boys nowadays

1:09:07

with, with their tinders and I

1:09:10

never, I

1:09:12

never actually. Tinder and the, and

1:09:15

the, and the, and the, and

1:09:17

the nudie magazines. These

1:09:19

fellas. I never actually said I was

1:09:21

looking for a serious relationship, but I guess he assumed from

1:09:23

what I said. I didn't think

1:09:26

anything of it, but now I feel like I scared him

1:09:28

away. I do want a serious relationship. So I know I

1:09:30

should just be happy that he cut off my head earlier

1:09:32

rather than later, but I can't help but wonder if I

1:09:34

hadn't said anything, maybe it would have just worked out. I

1:09:37

was excited about him and felt like he was

1:09:39

into me after he made a plan to hang

1:09:41

out. And maybe he only backed out because I

1:09:43

scared him away. I'm trying to not get, get

1:09:45

myself thinking negatively about dating, but I'm finding it

1:09:47

hard to find anyone who actually wants a serious

1:09:50

relationship right now. Any tips on

1:09:52

how to weed people out, but also not scare

1:09:54

anyone away. Appreciate all your help. Scary

1:09:56

or just honest? There's no, it's a great question. I love

1:09:58

that. the email,

1:10:00

she did everything right. You didn't, there's no

1:10:02

such thing as scaring a guy away. We

1:10:05

are not chipmunks that you're trying to

1:10:07

feed in the park. It feels that

1:10:09

way. Sure. And it feels counterintuitive

1:10:11

to do everything she did. Everything

1:10:14

she did was correct. You met

1:10:16

him amongst friends. He is

1:10:18

a friend of a friend, which means you have

1:10:20

commonalities. The people that you like, like him. The

1:10:23

people that he likes, like you. This is all

1:10:25

great. You told him what your intentions are. Hey,

1:10:27

I'm dating to see if I could find the

1:10:29

right person. His interpretation

1:10:32

of that might lead

1:10:34

him to get ahead of himself and

1:10:37

make his heart go a little, you know,

1:10:39

a little faster, but that's

1:10:42

not your problem. He

1:10:44

is not ready or mature

1:10:47

enough to engage with someone in

1:10:49

a way where it might not work out.

1:10:51

And he's so afraid of something not working

1:10:54

out that he's not allowing himself

1:10:57

to enjoy someone's company and see if it ever could.

1:11:00

You think that's his- That's it, he's 26. Not

1:11:02

personal? Not personal. I think

1:11:05

also, again, as I

1:11:07

said in the beginning of the email, there's eyes

1:11:09

on this. There's the friend, the friend of the

1:11:11

friend. There's consequence. Right. So he's doing the

1:11:13

math. And she's making her attention. He doesn't want you to say,

1:11:16

I told you I was looking for something serious. Right,

1:11:18

I told you and now I'm the bad guy

1:11:20

because I did. And a little, some of this-

1:11:22

Why did he ask her out in the first

1:11:24

place? She just did

1:11:27

it. I don't think he's like put that all

1:11:29

together yet. Again, this is like, again, if you,

1:11:31

that's a man to me.

1:11:33

Like, oh yeah, we should go to the beach. And he's like,

1:11:36

oh God, you know, like, oh, I

1:11:38

gotta make a plan. Oh, she was looking for

1:11:40

something. And I don't know, you know, I

1:11:43

don't know if holding back information about what you're

1:11:45

looking for is like, I

1:11:48

just don't see it. I just

1:11:50

don't see the pros in that. I do

1:11:52

think if she didn't say that, maybe they would have gone

1:11:54

out, but I also don't think it would have gone

1:11:57

anywhere. Right. Long term. I would have just

1:11:59

prolonged the- Maybe if she was if maybe

1:12:01

they could have had more fun for a longer time But

1:12:03

I don't I think it would have ended and she would

1:12:05

have been more annoyed the longer it went on Right

1:12:07

and I guess the thought process of like is the

1:12:09

same as a guy saying he's six foot when he's

1:12:12

five eight Well, if she

1:12:14

just sees how great I am right

1:12:17

then she'll be in You

1:12:19

know and she's kind of saying the same thing. She's

1:12:21

like well once he sees how great we are together

1:12:23

how great I am He

1:12:26

will be so not afraid of

1:12:28

committing. Well, is that not possible? I mean

1:12:30

it is possible that you know as I say

1:12:32

that you know, you're like, I guess

1:12:35

But then you can't be upset when

1:12:37

your time is wasted, you know,

1:12:39

right? Well, that's the thing It's like it's another

1:12:42

way this could have been written is

1:12:44

like I told him on that Like let's say

1:12:46

this was three months later. I told him

1:12:48

from the very first time I met him I was

1:12:50

looking for something serious and then he dates me for

1:12:52

three months and then he decides he can't commit like

1:12:54

why didn't Why didn't he do that earlier? So I

1:12:56

think it could be In

1:12:59

any scenario you could have a

1:13:01

and I think a lot of like, you

1:13:03

know I don't know. I don't want

1:13:05

to I don't want to like give in to the idea that like

1:13:09

Lie to people to make them

1:13:12

be your significant other That's

1:13:15

not the good way to go. I don't know my question

1:13:17

is like could it if she didn't say anything

1:13:19

and They went on

1:13:21

a few dates could he have gotten there? Um

1:13:26

Yeah, maybe but then

1:13:29

he could always say I'm not ready for a

1:13:31

relationship right? Well, that's kind of like this is sort of

1:13:33

On your mind. It's always on your mind. There's a much

1:13:36

faster version of boyfriend or fuck off

1:13:38

Yes, right It's like and some

1:13:40

people would say some people some men I think

1:13:42

respond to the boyfriend or fuck off situation as

1:13:44

like Well, like that's too intense

1:13:46

for me. Like I just want

1:13:48

to I want to revisit this without Committing

1:13:51

well, how can I like how am I supposed to

1:13:53

just commit when I come back? Right

1:13:56

out of nowhere, right? Well, this goes

1:13:58

back to the mathematical equation She's

1:14:00

not really admitting they had a first date. You

1:14:03

know, like, I mean, like, this isn't him's,

1:14:05

I'd like to go out with you. I'd like

1:14:08

to go out with you again. You had the

1:14:10

friend. I think this is why the way they

1:14:12

got together first is like the

1:14:14

move. I think a lot of

1:14:16

people are so afraid of scaring a guy

1:14:18

off that they

1:14:21

become boring to a guy. So

1:14:23

it's like, what are you doing this weekend?

1:14:25

Because you're waiting for him to like come back at

1:14:27

you and be like, well, let's go on a date.

1:14:29

Saturday. You want them to set the pace. Right, you

1:14:31

want them to set the pace. I think the what

1:14:33

to do in the talking phase is literally

1:14:37

say, I'm having this party

1:14:39

come. Come to my,

1:14:43

come to the hang I'm having where

1:14:45

you shall be judged and smelled by

1:14:47

my friends. You know what

1:14:50

I mean? So like 4th of July, where July 2nd

1:14:52

or 3rd, you might be texting with someone. I

1:14:54

don't think the move is what are you doing

1:14:56

for the 4th of July? The move is I'm

1:14:59

going to a barbecue with a bunch of friends. It's been really

1:15:01

fun to talk to you. You should come,

1:15:03

bring friends too. You should

1:15:05

come. That is like, oh my God, you

1:15:08

do fun things. You have friends. Now

1:15:10

you're inviting them to a place where it's

1:15:13

actually a safer first date. So this woman

1:15:15

writing in had the best first date you

1:15:17

could have. Right. Because again,

1:15:19

she was let down, but she had the, you know,

1:15:21

she had the familiarity of all the friends, but like

1:15:24

you got to meet at your best around your friends.

1:15:26

Right. You, you

1:15:28

could not be you in front of your friends. Still didn't want to go

1:15:30

on a date. And he still didn't like you. But

1:15:33

I'm saying like, he again, to go into

1:15:35

the theme of this episode, he did the

1:15:37

math. Well, that's why it can feel like when

1:15:40

you're dating and you get this kind of respect. She's

1:15:42

saying she's gotten this before, right? Or it feels like

1:15:44

this is happening. It can feel like, what

1:15:46

are these men looking for? Right. Well, what do

1:15:48

they think they're going to find in someone else

1:15:51

that I don't have? Like what is the big?

1:15:55

Well, I would say. I can

1:15:58

understand why someone's like, how do I. I

1:16:00

don't understand what these people want, that they don't think

1:16:02

they're gonna get from me. I am

1:16:04

speaking from the perspective of delusional male.

1:16:06

I am that. Okay. Okay,

1:16:08

so I'm being

1:16:11

honest. I think this guy- What

1:16:13

do you think is out there? Right. For you,

1:16:15

nothing. Right. And it's a huge, the

1:16:17

later I get in life, the older I get, the

1:16:19

more guilty I feel about this. Okay. Because

1:16:22

it's like, who am I? I'm like, I'm a fucking

1:16:24

idiot in a hat right now. I

1:16:27

don't think I'm such

1:16:29

a catch that, and I've been accused of this.

1:16:32

I went on Girls Gotta Eat. So

1:16:35

funny to me, because some woman in the

1:16:37

comments wrote, Jared thinks he

1:16:39

should get, thinks he can get

1:16:42

all the women and

1:16:44

when he's almost 40

1:16:46

and he drinks all the time. Sounds

1:16:49

like fun. And I was like, I

1:16:51

was like, are you talking about me or Raina? Right.

1:16:55

Because if a woman does that and is single and

1:16:57

fun and on her

1:16:59

own terms. Maybe. Well,

1:17:01

I'm just saying like- I mean, the commenters are

1:17:03

all women. So the male commenters, they might be

1:17:05

saying- They could say that about a woman. Totally agree.

1:17:08

I'm just saying, wanting something

1:17:10

delusional makes you look like kind of

1:17:12

an asshole. Right. who

1:17:15

are you to even like stay? But I do

1:17:18

think- Well, it can just feel like if you get

1:17:20

that a lot. Right. Or it's like, I'm looking,

1:17:22

it just feels like they want something

1:17:24

to be- It feels like if you're dating someone, they want

1:17:26

you to be perfect. And I think

1:17:29

more women are willing to work

1:17:31

something- Right. Well,

1:17:33

I think it's the difference. It's that, it's

1:17:35

two things. It's that cab light thing. Right.

1:17:38

Like, is he in the mindset of being in a

1:17:41

serious relationship? Right. Just when he said probably

1:17:43

not. And he said to her, I'm not. Yeah. And

1:17:45

he's questioning that. So that's his right. But it's also

1:17:47

that you think this like glowing

1:17:49

goddess and this match is gonna be so-

1:17:52

I do have that division of this thing

1:17:55

that like is very, you know what it

1:17:57

is- You bought an apartment. So, I mean, I'm sure you've seen

1:17:59

that when you're- you're looking at apartments. And you're

1:18:01

like, well, I'm actually looking for something

1:18:03

with like a bigger bedroom. And they're

1:18:05

like, well, have you

1:18:08

seen your budget? Like, what do you

1:18:10

think is out there for you at that price?

1:18:13

You know what it's a lot like? If you watch

1:18:15

any like coming of age movie, I

1:18:18

think men think of their match like

1:18:20

that. Like she's just gonna magically appear.

1:18:23

The love is life. We had Delaney Rowe

1:18:25

on this. She does a great job of like,

1:18:27

she's like cool girl from an 80s movie. You

1:18:30

think Topanga is just gonna show up at your doorstep?

1:18:33

You're Topanga. You know, like it is,

1:18:35

I think if you watch those, those

1:18:37

are all written by men usually, the coming of age

1:18:39

movie where the nerd and

1:18:41

the woman. Those guys settled down

1:18:43

at like 16. What's going

1:18:45

on? Well, they got there. Oh,

1:18:49

you know, the way they write the men

1:18:51

and the women, it's very

1:18:53

much in the way that I think men think. And

1:18:56

he had a nice conversation

1:18:58

with you. I'm sure he thinks you're great. Taylor

1:19:01

Swift is awesome. He's a huge fan. Is

1:19:04

he gonna spend? He's not gonna spend $3,000

1:19:06

to see. That's it. Sorry

1:19:08

to reduce you to a ticket price, but

1:19:10

that's what it is. That's what we're talking

1:19:12

about here. Let's play some games. Economics of

1:19:15

Dating. There's our episode title. It's a great

1:19:17

name. Okay. Okay. This

1:19:21

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1:21:24

Let's play some games. Let's do it. Red Flagger Deal

1:21:26

Breaker. J&J loved the pod. I

1:21:28

was dating this 29 year old straight guy and

1:21:31

one of the very first icks to come up

1:21:33

was finding out he wears thongs. The

1:21:38

first time thongs got you.

1:21:40

That's the first time we

1:21:42

slept together I was in literal shock when he took

1:21:44

his pants off. There it was. That's what every man

1:21:46

wants to hear. Full

1:21:50

male ass out out and about. I said

1:21:52

something like oh these are different and his

1:21:54

casual response was they're comfortable. They

1:21:56

make it even worse. They were the me undies

1:21:58

brand. They make it. male thongs

1:22:01

and meundis so

1:22:03

they had cartoon patterns with little faces

1:22:05

everywhere. I have those. That's

1:22:08

hilarious. I asked him about the choice of undergarment again another

1:22:10

time and he told me that he after he had had

1:22:12

his vasectomy he was looking

1:22:14

for something comfortable that would hold his

1:22:16

balls snugly and so he found

1:22:18

the thong and never switched back. Wouldn't briefs

1:22:20

do the do the trick? Yeah

1:22:23

I would think so. Why does it need

1:22:25

to go in your ass in order to

1:22:28

to I'm trying to think of what I've seen I don't know.

1:22:30

Is it tighter then? Because it's like it's like closer

1:22:32

to your it's a holster. I

1:22:34

asked him about his choice.

1:22:38

He found the thong never switched back.

1:22:40

No matter the occasion from playing sports

1:22:42

to sleeping he's got the thong on.

1:22:45

He never once wore boxers or briefs in the two months

1:22:48

we were together. I gotta say good

1:22:50

for him. I've slept with my fair share of straight

1:22:52

men but I've never once seen a guy wearing a thong.

1:22:54

I was definitely a bit turned off at first. It

1:22:56

was a definitely a big turn off at first but I

1:22:58

tried to tell myself that he was a great guy

1:23:00

who treats me well and I'd

1:23:02

be the only one ever seeing this. In

1:23:04

the end however there were other things that

1:23:06

turned me off physically and made me question

1:23:08

his sexuality. So I decided to end it

1:23:10

due to a general lack of attraction but

1:23:12

Red Flagger deal breaker he wears a thong

1:23:14

loud and proud. G signed G string and

1:23:16

scream. It's a great email. What do you

1:23:19

think? I think the

1:23:21

explanation made sense. I

1:23:23

think if that was the only thing I could probably

1:23:25

be fine with. I just wouldn't understand. I feel like

1:23:27

I wouldn't understand it. I would think it was very

1:23:29

uncomfortable. Like I don't even really like wearing thongs that

1:23:31

much. They're like they're like uncomfortable. You wear them

1:23:34

for a long time. They're uncomfortable. It's like in

1:23:36

your ass. Well here's what my question would be.

1:23:38

Let's take him at his word that is a

1:23:40

functional. He gave a valid explanation. He gave a

1:23:42

functional explanation. Right. But I did I mean

1:23:44

I did talk about skims. Right. Feeling

1:23:47

better about myself and skims and

1:23:50

it is a little weird as

1:23:52

a straight guy myself to say I feel

1:23:55

sexy in these underwear. Right.

1:23:57

But if that was the reason is that...

1:23:59

that a turn off to women to be

1:24:02

like, to like feel sexy.

1:24:04

Is it that he feels sexy

1:24:06

or he feels comfortable? Well, he says

1:24:08

comfortable, but I actually don't. I think he

1:24:10

feels good about himself in them. Okay. I

1:24:14

think like, I just, I can't

1:24:16

believe, I don't know. I think he has

1:24:18

a little bit of like- It's hard to

1:24:20

like believe that that's the real answer just

1:24:23

because there's, I don't think of a thong

1:24:25

as comfortable really at all. And also men

1:24:27

have gotten vasectomies. Compared to briefs, like those

1:24:29

seem very comfortable. Right. In

1:24:31

the vasectomy argument, like, I don't

1:24:34

know. I've never heard of this as

1:24:36

a vasectomy thing. Like- Do you

1:24:38

know many men who've gotten vasectomies? No, but you would

1:24:40

think that you'd hear that like, this is, you

1:24:42

know, when you get a vasectomy, your balls feel

1:24:45

untethered. But again, why would

1:24:47

a brief solve that issue? Right. So

1:24:49

I do think he feels sexy in them. And she says, you

1:24:51

know, like, and I think like, when she has a question of

1:24:53

sexuality- Right. That's an important piece of it,

1:24:55

I think. Cause it's not a standalone thing. Whether,

1:24:58

I don't, I believe that he knows

1:25:00

his own sexuality. But I do think- Well,

1:25:02

it's more like, I think she's like, she's getting turned off

1:25:04

by maybe him not being as masculine. And I wanted him

1:25:06

to be. Right. And I do think it's

1:25:08

not masculine to be like, I feel

1:25:10

sexy in whatever

1:25:13

I'm wearing. It's just not

1:25:15

a thing you hear men say a lot. So- I

1:25:18

don't know if a man was like, I feel sexy

1:25:20

in this, like, in this suit. I'd

1:25:22

be like, okay. It'd be a weird, but if

1:25:24

we, even hearing that, I'm like, I don't know if I've ever

1:25:27

heard a man say such a thing. I guess, I don't know

1:25:29

the context that it would- Right. But like-

1:25:31

How do you feel, sexy? I wouldn't be

1:25:33

turned off by that. All right. It seems

1:25:35

as though she was turned off. Well, John

1:25:38

Tucker must die. They wear them and that's

1:25:40

the explanation, is they're breezy and comfortable. Right,

1:25:42

but that's also part of like the joke, right?

1:25:45

Like it's not- Right, but I mean, look at John Tucker,

1:25:47

Jesse Metcalf in that movie. Do you look at him and

1:25:49

go, he looks good in the thong?

1:25:51

Like, do you see that? And you go- You guys look good,

1:25:54

but I think you would look equally good in

1:25:56

briefs. Right. I don't know. It

1:25:58

would be a red flag, not a deal breaker. to me. What's

1:26:01

the other one for me? Like what if like

1:26:03

a woman never wore a thong? Like what, what,

1:26:06

I'm trying to think of like how to place this. She

1:26:08

doesn't wear, she doesn't wear a bra? I

1:26:10

don't know. No bra and then she was

1:26:12

like, I just don't like the feeling of a bra.

1:26:14

What if she wears boxers? She

1:26:17

only wears boxers. It wouldn't matter

1:26:19

to me. Well. I

1:26:21

get maybe a wood, I don't know. Maybe I'd see her in like

1:26:24

a dress and I'd be like, there's like, it looks like you're wearing

1:26:26

a diaper. Right. That's what I'm saying. Like

1:26:28

maybe it would. Yeah, maybe it would. I

1:26:30

don't know. It wouldn't be a deal breaker.

1:26:32

But that would almost make more sense to me because

1:26:34

boxers are more comfortable than most women's underwear. Right.

1:26:38

I don't know what the, yeah, it

1:26:40

wouldn't be a deal breaker. Well, something that would

1:26:42

be like unfeminine, I guess. Unfeminine. Might be a turn

1:26:45

off that wouldn't be weird if that's. Right,

1:26:48

if she, I don't know. I don't think it

1:26:50

would be a deal breaker for me. Right. It'd

1:26:53

be a little bit of a red flag just because I wouldn't necessarily

1:26:55

buy it because it just doesn't, I don't get why a thong

1:26:57

would be so comfortable. Right. It's just more

1:26:59

like, I guess the explanation doesn't make sense

1:27:01

to me. But I like that he was

1:27:03

like giving an actual explanation of

1:27:05

why it made sense to him instead of

1:27:07

just being like, why do you think

1:27:09

it's weird? Right. Do

1:27:12

you know what I mean? No, no, no, no. Yeah,

1:27:14

and he gives an explanation. I don't think the reason he gave is,

1:27:16

I don't believe the reason he gave. I think he likes how he

1:27:19

feels in him. But. Sure.

1:27:21

I mean, to me, if that's what he said too. Or

1:27:23

he believes that, yeah. Good for him. I

1:27:26

gotta say. Go for it. Hi

1:27:29

JJ. Love you endlessly. I'll get right

1:27:31

to it. Red flag or deal breaker. They say

1:27:33

credit card to any cashier after they give them

1:27:36

the total. My boyfriend of six years recently started

1:27:38

doing this and it's driving me insane. Here's an

1:27:40

example. Cashier. The total is 599. My

1:27:43

boyfriend, credit card. And

1:27:45

then he just stands there waiting until the cashier

1:27:47

has to then awkwardly point to the card swipe

1:27:49

machine, which is already ready for

1:27:51

his credit card. Then he puts his card in. Unless

1:27:55

they say cash or card, why are you

1:27:57

just swiping the card when the machine lights

1:27:59

up? a man is 31 acting like an 80

1:28:01

year old. It's obviously just a red flag for me,

1:28:03

but it's infuriating, especially since he never used to do

1:28:06

this from insert, swipe or

1:28:08

tap batch. Do you think he

1:28:10

knows it annoys her and he's doing this to fuck with her? If this

1:28:12

is my boyfriend for six years, I'd be like,

1:28:14

why do you keep saying that? Right. Like

1:28:17

to me, it's weird that she's writing into us

1:28:19

and she hasn't been like, stop saying that, that's

1:28:21

weird. Credit, and it is weird. It's

1:28:23

kind of like rude to the way it's to have

1:28:25

like, credit card! Right. Right.

1:28:29

That'll be $5.99 please. Credit card! I'm sure she's surprised

1:28:31

she hasn't called him out. Like this was something I

1:28:33

would say to Mike immediately. Like, why are you doing this? You

1:28:37

sound like a weirdo. Why don't you just take out your card and

1:28:39

do it? Right. I think it's weird,

1:28:41

it says more about their relationship that she hasn't

1:28:43

said anything to him about it. This was one of

1:28:45

the best parts of Abroad to me. They

1:28:48

are in tap land. Oh yeah. It is tap,

1:28:50

tap, tap, tap, tap. No cars anywhere. You can

1:28:52

pay at the table with the tap. Loved it.

1:28:54

Every second of it was so happy. It's

1:28:56

such a breeze and. I don't think I

1:28:58

pulled out the card at all. Never touched it. It's

1:29:01

great. It's great. Thank you Spotify. Let's

1:29:06

do one more. Dear J and J and

1:29:08

company, this story is about my ex-husband so it's

1:29:10

about a red flag at the time. Now it

1:29:12

will be a deal breaker. We were visiting my dad.

1:29:14

Since he lived three hours away, it was a

1:29:16

weekend visit. My father was a fucking delight. So

1:29:18

visiting him was fun, easy for both of us.

1:29:20

Okay. To you. Right? I

1:29:22

was like, there was a fucking delight. Your ex-husband was like, fuck,

1:29:25

thank God I don't have to drive and see this guy again.

1:29:27

That's a red flag if someone refers to their father

1:29:29

as a fucking delight. You

1:29:32

have to understand. No one likes

1:29:34

your parents as much as you do. Whenever I go

1:29:36

to visit him, my ex would ask to come with

1:29:38

me. My dad would take us

1:29:40

to great restaurants, tell funny stories. I mentioned

1:29:42

this to the point out of, to point

1:29:44

out that my ex was not there against

1:29:46

as well. Okay. Anyways, we were

1:29:48

there in the winter and my ex walked over

1:29:51

to the wall and adjusted his thermostat without asking

1:29:53

anyone. I thought this was incredibly rude.

1:29:55

First of all, it's not your house. The homeowner presumably has

1:29:58

the thermostat where they like it. Yes,

1:30:00

put on a sweater, second of all. Sounds

1:30:02

like the divorce went well. Second

1:30:04

of all, you're attending your own immediate

1:30:06

comfort, attending to your own immediate comfort

1:30:09

without thinking of anyone else. If

1:30:11

I'm in a hotel room with other people and

1:30:16

it's no one's home, I still check with

1:30:18

the others before unilaterally deciding to adjust

1:30:20

the thermostat. So red flag or deal breaker,

1:30:22

you change the thermostat and someone else's home,

1:30:25

love you signed a bet with a

1:30:27

sweater. What do you think? If

1:30:29

it's one thermostat for the whole house, that's

1:30:32

very weird. That's weird. If it's like

1:30:34

there's a different area that you're staying in in

1:30:36

the house and you adjust the thermostat, I would be

1:30:38

like, great, he thinks he's at home. Right.

1:30:42

The way she explains the comfort with the dad,

1:30:45

it's like actually more normal than weird.

1:30:47

It is weird. It is weird. I think it is

1:30:50

a little rude. I would agree with that. I wouldn't do

1:30:52

it. But I might

1:30:54

say if I went to Mike's parents' house and

1:30:56

it was very hot or very

1:30:58

cold, I might be like, all

1:31:01

right, like can

1:31:03

you adjust the thermostat? There's

1:31:05

three options. Talk to your

1:31:08

significant other. Hey, what are we gonna do about the heat in

1:31:10

here? Two, do it yourself

1:31:12

the way this guy did it, which is

1:31:14

actually the strangest way to go. Who is

1:31:16

the elf now? Right, gotcha bitch. And

1:31:18

then grandpappy's gonna

1:31:21

have to sweat tonight out. Or

1:31:24

the third option, which is also a better option

1:31:26

than what he did, is to it behind everyone's

1:31:28

back. Right. Who touched

1:31:30

the thermostat? I'd be sitting there and, oh yeah.

1:31:32

Someone touched it. It felt pretty good. I did

1:31:34

one scream at Mike when I was at

1:31:36

his house when we were sleeping

1:31:38

there and it was so hot.

1:31:41

And he was like, well,

1:31:45

I don't know how to, his parents moved. He's like,

1:31:47

I don't know how to, I'm like, I

1:31:49

can't sleep. I'm like, I'm opening the windows. I'm doing

1:31:51

all these things. The next morning, he turns

1:31:53

on the ceiling fan. I freaked out.

1:31:56

I was like, where the fuck were you last night? Right.

1:32:01

Guess he wasn't so hot. He

1:32:03

just didn't want to make a move. Seriously. Well,

1:32:06

we solved dating again. We did it. I'm

1:32:08

proud of us. We'll be back on Sunday. In a brief

1:32:10

hour and a half. Look at us. We had

1:32:12

a lot to talk about. A lot to talk about. Back

1:32:14

Sunday. Boom. Bye.

1:32:17

The You Up Podcast is produced by Bell Roman

1:32:19

and Candice Meniga. Editing by Bell

1:32:21

Roman. Social media by Candice Meniga. Be

1:32:24

sure to follow at you.up.podcast on

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1:32:28

to uup at bellroman.com. betches.com.