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Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, the

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NPR News Quiz. I'm the

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man with a voice so smooth, rich

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people pay big bucks just to hear

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me say their name on NPR. Chiyoke

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Anson. And

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here's your host at the Studebaker

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Theatre in downtown Chicago, Peter Segel.

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Thank you, Chiyoke. Thank you, everybody. You're so kind.

0:47

So, since we are lucky enough to

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have the guy who tells you about all

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the people and foundations that support NPR, filling

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in for Bill Curtis this week, we thought,

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why not take the opportunity to show those

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people why we are worth their support? So

1:01

this week, we are going to bring back

1:03

some of the best segments that their money

1:05

has paid for in recent months. It's a

1:07

kind of thank you. Wait, I

1:09

thought you just wanted to take the week off. Shh!

1:14

First up, a great conversation with Ray Romano,

1:16

the actor and comedian who had just written

1:19

and directed his first film somewhere in Queens.

1:21

When he appeared in May of last year,

1:23

Peter asked him if he was the same

1:25

kind of dad in real life as he

1:28

was on his hit sitcom, Everybody Loves Raymond.

1:31

Well, I was never home to

1:33

be a real dad. I

1:37

mean, in that way, it did affect me. But

1:40

I was wondering if you were home with

1:42

your real kids and they said something that

1:45

wasn't amazingly charming and funny if you would

1:47

call for rewrite without realizing where you were.

1:50

You know, what's funny is my wife and

1:52

I, one night, were in bed watching the

1:55

show and she said to

1:57

me, she goes, you said more to Patti

1:59

Healy. eaten in that scene, then

2:01

you've said to me all week. And

2:07

I told her, we have writers.

2:09

It's easy. It's

2:13

funny, because any time we would have a fight,

2:15

sometimes my wife would look to me and say,

2:18

I don't want to see this on the show. I do not

2:20

want to see this on the show. And

2:23

what did you think when she said that, where you

2:25

were like, OK, or were you like, well, maybe I

2:27

can talk her into it? Or maybe she can. I

2:29

would tell her to go

2:33

cry on a bag

2:35

of money. I should

2:37

point out, by the way, I think

2:45

everybody needs to know this, you're still happily married to

2:47

the same person today, two years later.

2:49

35 years. Wow. But

2:56

curiously, you played a dad and a husband

2:58

for so long. And so many different iterations.

3:00

Have you learned some wisdom? Obviously,

3:02

you're good at it. Well,

3:04

people ask me, how

3:07

do you do it? How do you stay married so

3:10

long? And I always quote

3:12

one of my ex-therapists. I've

3:15

been through many therapists. And

3:17

one of my ex-ones said, you need to

3:19

pretend you're not a narcissist. Wow.

3:25

And of course, did you say, I can

3:27

pretend I'm not a narcissist? I'm

3:30

great. That's right. I'm

3:35

good at pretending. Yeah, but it's

3:37

exactly what he meant. And I think we know what

3:39

he meant. It's

3:41

not all about you. You know, you got to. Is

3:44

that when you fired him? Your

3:49

show is on TV all the time now in syndication. Do

3:51

you ever find yourself like the rest of us in a

3:53

hotel room late at night and everybody loves Raymond is on

3:55

and you watch it? It's

3:58

sadder than that, to be honest with you. I

4:01

don't know if it's a late midlife

4:03

or early end of life crisis.

4:05

Yeah. But

4:08

I'm watching them now and I'm rating

4:10

them from one to another. I'm not

4:12

kidding. I'm not kidding. I have a

4:15

chart. I have a chart. What? You

4:19

have a spreadsheet? I've

4:21

watched about 45 of them. There's

4:24

210 total. And

4:27

I started rating them. And the highest so far I got was a

4:29

91. 91 is the highest. Wow.

4:33

How do you watch all your old shows and still

4:36

say you're not a narcissist? I'll

4:38

tell you why. Because

4:43

the highest I gave was a 91. I'm

4:45

very hard. What's the lowest so far? They're in

4:47

the 70s. Some of them are

4:49

in the 70s, you know? Yeah. I

4:52

learned something and I should have known this about

4:54

you and I'm sorry I didn't, but apparently

5:01

you are an excellent poker player. I'm

5:04

average. I'm average. He's good. He's

5:06

good. He's good. Yeah. The

5:09

last time I was with Ray, he came on my

5:11

radio show and he had this bag next

5:13

to him. And I was like, what's

5:15

in the bag? And he said, I just came from

5:17

poker and there's a lot of cash in there. What?

5:21

You literally had bags of money. You

5:24

literally had the classic black release filled

5:26

with cash? Yeah. He walks

5:28

around with bags of cash. For

5:30

your wife. I

5:33

don't have access to my cash. My

5:37

wife gives me an allowance.

5:39

Do you have a good

5:41

poker face? Because you don't seem like you would.

5:46

Why do you say that? Why do you say it wouldn't

5:48

happen? Because you're just so like... Because I'm a bad actor? No.

5:51

No. No. No.

5:54

No. No. Expressive.

5:57

Expressive actor. Thank you. He

6:00

gets a bad hand and he just, ugh.

6:02

Oh, boy. That

6:05

was Tom Papa, not him. Oh, boy.

6:08

Ray Romano, we've invited you here to play

6:10

a game that this time we're calling. Everybody

6:13

loves Raymond, but everybody hates

6:15

these things. So, as

6:18

we've discussed, you start and everybody loves Raymond,

6:20

which is nice if you're Raymond. So

6:22

we thought we'd ask you about things that everybody hates. Answer

6:25

two or three questions about things everybody just loathes,

6:27

and you'll win our prize for one of our

6:29

listeners. The voice of anyone they might choose. Bill,

6:32

who is Ray Romano playing for? Gary Wilson of

6:34

Seattle, Washington. All right. You ready to do this?

6:36

I'm going to try my hardest. All right. Here's

6:39

your first question. Everybody hates taxes, right?

6:41

Especially when you're forced to pay taxes

6:43

when you buy something you want. Which

6:46

of these is a real tax? A,

6:50

the Texas enormous belt buckle

6:52

tax. B,

6:54

the Canadian mayonnaise with French fries

6:56

tax. Or C,

6:58

the Illinois bribe tax. Hometown

7:05

crowd. Thank you. The

7:09

least ridiculous I get is C. Of

7:19

those three, the least

7:21

ridiculous is that when you bribe

7:23

a politician here

7:26

in Illinois, you

7:29

have to pay a certain percentage of the

7:31

bribe to the

7:33

state. I get it.

7:36

I got it right, right? No,

7:40

but I love you for trying.

7:45

It was actually the enormous belt

7:47

buckle tax in Texas. It's true.

7:49

In Texas, the belt buckles are

7:52

taxed at a higher rate than

7:54

the belt itself. Really? Yeah, so the bigger and

7:56

more elaborate and more expensive your belt buckle, which

7:59

they love down there. the more money

8:01

you have to spend. All right, Ray, you still have two

8:03

more chances. Here is your next question. Everybody

8:05

hates traffic jams, particularly over in China.

8:07

That's why a new service has arisen

8:09

there to make them a little less

8:11

horrible. What is that service? A, you

8:13

can order aerial photographs of the traffic

8:15

jams sent to you so you can

8:17

prove to your boss or whomever. That's

8:20

why you're late. B, alcohol

8:22

delivered to your stuck car by

8:24

drone or see a

8:26

service in which two people show up on

8:28

a motorbike. One stays with your car and

8:30

the other weaves through traffic with you and

8:33

the bike to get you to your destination.

8:35

That one, the last one. You're right,

8:38

right? Exactly. Because

8:41

as you probably figured out, that

8:43

is a great idea. And

8:46

this is why China is beating us in global competition.

8:50

You have one more question. If you get this right,

8:52

you win. Everybody hates going

8:54

through airport security. Which of these

8:56

were once seized at a TSA

8:59

checkpoint? A, a 20-pound

9:01

live lobster. B,

9:04

one of those enormous pairs of ceremonial

9:06

scissors for ribbon cuttings. Or

9:08

C, a gun hidden inside a

9:11

raw chicken. Well,

9:16

I have cut a ribbon out of bed, bath,

9:18

and beyond. I

9:22

didn't have it again. Yeah, a lot of good it did then, man.

9:27

All right.

9:34

I'm going to say the gun hidden in the

9:37

thing. You're right. Not

9:39

only that, they

9:41

were all found on package. What?

9:44

All the above. Bill,

9:46

how did Ray Romano do in our quiz? He

9:48

got a 75 by our rating. But

9:51

two out of three is a winner, Ray. Congratulations.

10:00

somewhere in Queens. Ray Romano, thank you so

10:02

much for joining us. I'm Wade Romano. What

10:04

a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you.

10:18

And if that wasn't enough to loosen

10:20

your wallet, rich people, here's a never-before-heard

10:22

question from earlier this year with panelists

10:25

Tom Bodette, Faith Salley, and Helen Hall.

10:27

Helen, businesses have a new solution for all

10:30

those workers who've forgotten how to be in

10:32

the office during their long time at home.

10:35

Many businesses are sending their employees where?

10:40

Can I have a hint? Yeah, it's like where

10:43

you learn which is the proper fork to

10:45

leave unwashed in the office kitchen sink. Etiquette

10:49

cloth? Charm school. Oh,

10:51

what? Same thing, yes. Etiquette

10:53

school, charm school. Apparently people forgot

10:56

how to behave around other people during their time

10:59

remotely. So 60% of companies

11:02

plan to send their employees to

11:04

etiquette classes this year, leaving 100%

11:06

of employees trying to imagine anything

11:09

more humiliating. Wait,

11:12

so the memo saying put your pants back

11:14

on and get them on all day. Exactly.

11:16

It's like, you know, employers have to say,

11:18

Matt, great work on that report this morning.

11:20

Also, we notice you've gone feral. All

11:25

right. 60% of businesses have to

11:28

retrain their employees to be around

11:30

other people. What are we talking about? Because

11:32

the pants thing is the obvious one. It's

11:34

like, if you didn't buy the orange

11:36

china, don't drink it. I mean, I

11:38

think I thought it was orange Gina,

11:40

but now I'm having improper

11:42

thoughts. A little uncool. Tom, I think

11:45

you need to go to charm school.

11:47

Exactly. Oh,

11:50

my goodness. We're in public. I

11:53

may not be able to finish the show. I'm

11:56

going back to my life now. time

12:00

to buy some stuff. When

12:07

we come back, actor Rosie Perez, a musician, Steve

12:09

Earl, who will triumph and who will be left

12:11

begging for mercy. Neither one. This is the Survivor.

12:13

Come on. It's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from

12:15

NPO. We

12:30

all have that endless home to-do list. Prepare the leaky

12:32

dishwasher. Fix the fridge. Get the faucet to stop dripping.

12:34

Get it all done with front door. This

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purchase a new Apple Vision Pro

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or any products at Apple and automatically grow your daily

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cash back. Hey

13:53

everybody, it's Peter Sangel. This is our last episode of February, meaning it is the

13:55

last chance I have to get you to sign up for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell

13:57

Me Plus in our month-long pledge drive. Don't make me beg. Okay,

14:00

I'm begging, but we really want to

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get 401 new supporters this month and

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you are our only hope. We've

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even made some super special bonus

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episodes that will be available only

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to WaitWaitDon'tTellMePlus subscribers next month, where

14:14

I take everyone on an emotional

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journey, such as you've never

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heard from me. A deep

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dish pizza hurt me, Emma. To

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get access to that and our other fun bonus

14:26

episodes every month, where some of you

14:28

even get the chance to play a throwback news quiz with

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me, you gotta sign up for WaitWaitDon'tTellMePlus.

14:33

Head over to plus.mpr.org/WaitWait and

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join in on the fun.

14:37

Don't be like deep dish

14:39

pizza. That is, don't

14:42

be bad. And a big thank

14:44

you to everyone who has signed up. From

14:53

NPR and WBZ Chicago, this

14:56

is WaitWaitDon'tTellMeTheNPR News Quiz.

14:59

I'm Chiyoki Ayansson filling in for Bill Curtis. And

15:01

here's your host at the Studebaker Theater

15:04

in the Fine Arts Building in downtown

15:06

Chicago, Peter Segal. Thank you,

15:08

Chiyoku. Thank you, everybody. This

15:12

week, we are taking

15:14

the opportunity to show our sponsors

15:16

what they're paying for when Chiyoki

15:19

reads their names on NPR. For

15:21

example, I bet the Foundation for

15:23

the Advancement of Former Fly Girls

15:25

was thrilled they helped pay for

15:27

this February 2023 conversation

15:30

between Rosie Perez and guest

15:32

host Alzo Slate. Rosie

15:34

explained how her entire career began

15:36

because of some fashion choices she

15:38

made while going out clubbing in

15:40

college. Yeah, I was a

15:42

biochem major in college, and

15:45

me and my girlfriends would

15:47

go to this nightclub called

15:49

Florentine Gardens because it was

15:51

ladies getting free before 9.

15:55

And then there was

15:57

a talent scout from Soul Train. saw

16:00

me dancing and I was dressed like

16:02

a slut. It was such a

16:04

sweet look. And he said,

16:07

would you like to go

16:09

on Soul Train? I said, what? And

16:12

I got on the show and then

16:14

later on when I was going to

16:16

leave California, moved back to New York,

16:19

the night before I was leaving, they

16:21

asked some of the Soul Train dancers if

16:24

they would go to this party that a

16:26

filmmaker was having. And when I walked in

16:28

there, they were having a butt contest to

16:30

see which woman had the biggest butt. So

16:33

I jumped up on the stage on a secret. I'm

16:36

not making this up. I wish

16:38

I would. But, and I

16:41

was trying to humiliate the whole evening

16:43

telling the women don't do that. And

16:45

then the guy came over with

16:47

bodyguards and told me to get down and

16:50

I got scared. And so

16:52

I cursed him out out of fear.

16:54

I don't know why, but it just

16:57

happened. And that man happened to be

16:59

Spike Lee. And then he asked

17:01

me. The story is so NPR,

17:03

by the way. So speaking of

17:08

Spike Lee, do the right thing. Was

17:10

your first movie and that movie

17:12

is a cultural icon. You're a

17:15

cultural icon. Did your family go

17:17

to see the movie on the big screen? Unfortunately,

17:19

yes. I

17:23

thought it's never going to get to Puerto Rico.

17:26

And it did. My father held

17:28

the screening

17:31

for the entire town

17:33

and the scene with

17:35

the ice cubes. Yeah. My father

17:38

had a heart attack. He

17:40

didn't die, but

17:42

he had a very dramatic telenovela Puerto

17:44

Rican heart attack in the movie theater.

17:47

The ambulance had to come take him away. I

17:50

had to fly down to Puerto Rico

17:52

crying, telling him, I'm sorry. And he

17:54

said, listen, next time you do something

17:56

like this, let's talk about it. I

17:58

said, really? That's simple. he goes, yes,

18:00

just say you're doing something artistic. And

18:03

then I know not to go. So for

18:06

those of you who don't know, let me,

18:08

as delicately as possible, explain

18:11

the artistic scene with the ice

18:13

cubes that she's talking about. This

18:16

is so not NPO. This is so not

18:18

NPO. So

18:21

it was a hot scene and the ice melts. Go

18:27

bing it when you get a chance. So

18:30

you know, dancing has been a large part of your

18:32

career as

18:38

well, like choreographing for

18:40

and living color. Like,

18:42

do you still shake a little something every once in

18:44

a while? I do, in the

18:46

privacy of my own home. I

18:49

don't really go clubbing anymore. I still dance

18:52

in my head all the time, if I'm

18:54

in the car, if I'm

18:56

watching a show and they have a piece

18:58

of music, all of a sudden I'm choreographing

19:00

in my head. Hey. It's constant. It doesn't

19:02

stop. Yeah. What

19:04

is your favorite song to dance to? Rihanna's

19:08

Bitch Better Have My Money. Oh.

19:10

Woo! Oh. OK.

19:14

All right, Rosie, we've asked you here today to

19:17

play a game that we are

19:19

calling Signed Curious in Chicago. So

19:21

you started and do the right

19:24

thing. And who else helps people

19:26

do the right thing? Advice

19:28

Columnist. Oh, no. We're

19:32

going to ask you three questions about

19:34

Advice Columnist, answer two of them correctly,

19:36

and you'll win our prize for one

19:39

of our listeners. Bill, who

19:41

is Rosie playing for? Lucy Wright

19:43

of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Oh.

19:47

Hey, Lucy. Big Lucy

19:49

Wright fans in the side of here. Yes. Here's

19:52

her first question. In the 1950s,

19:55

Ebony Magazine ran a column

19:57

called Advice for Living, which

19:59

was filled with questions about sex and

20:02

relationships, all answered by

20:04

whom? A, Little

20:06

Richard. B,

20:09

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Or

20:13

C, then Vice President

20:15

Richard Nixon. Oh my

20:17

God. Um,

20:23

God rest his soul. Um,

20:26

I want to say Little Richard. I know that sounds

20:28

crazy, but I want to say Little Richard. That would

20:30

be hilarious. But you want to say

20:32

it, but you didn't say it, but

20:35

I'm sure you have a dream of saying something

20:37

else. Oh,

20:40

the King. The King. Yes. Are

20:45

you kidding me? I

20:50

am not kidding. So here's your next

20:52

question, the follow-up. Dr. King

20:54

was not great at giving advice. I

21:00

have a dream. You take it if you want. When

21:04

one woman wrote in because her husband

21:06

was having an affair, he advised her

21:08

to do what? A,

21:10

put laxatives in her husband's coffee. B,

21:15

take up a new hobby like gardening to get her

21:17

mind off of it. Or

21:20

C, study her husband's mistress and

21:22

copy the things that she does.

21:26

Oh my God. It's

21:29

probably the wrong answer, but I'm going to go with C. It

21:33

is absolutely the right wrong

21:35

answer. Wow. Dr.

21:40

Martin Luther King Jr. told her

21:43

to just figure out what this other woman was

21:45

giving her husband that she wasn't and do that.

21:49

Wow. Here's

21:51

your last question. The advice

21:53

column dates back to the 1690s

21:56

when readers would write in to ask questions

21:58

like, which of these? A,

22:01

why should the pudding of a

22:04

man's hand in cold water occasion

22:06

a sudden emission of urine notwithstanding

22:08

his being fast asleep? B,

22:13

dancing, is it lawful? And

22:18

C, what is the cause

22:20

of the wind? And whence do

22:23

they come and whither do

22:25

they go? Oh,

22:29

God, you know, I listen

22:31

to this show every single

22:33

weekend and I'm always

22:35

calling out the right answer, but

22:38

now that I'm in the thick

22:40

of it, I have no freaking

22:42

idea. These are ridiculous. They

22:45

are pretty ridiculous. Can I get a hint?

22:49

Uh, yes. More

22:52

than one of them is correct. Oh,

22:57

all the above? All the above. Wow.

23:04

So these

23:06

were all actual questions to

23:08

the Athenian Mercury, considered the

23:10

first ever advice column. Bill

23:13

how did Rosie Perez do on our quiz? As

23:16

we expected, she was perfect.

23:21

See, Rosie, you're

23:24

amazing at everything you do. Thank

23:26

you very much for joining us on Wait Wait Don't

23:28

Tell Me. Thank you

23:30

very much guys, thank you audience,

23:32

thank you everybody. Thank you. In

23:37

2019, musician Steve Earle

23:40

joined us

23:42

in person and backstage told the greatest stories we

23:50

had ever heard. Fortunately, he kept going

23:52

when we got on stage where I

23:54

asked him exactly what genre of music

23:56

he played. I've been called

23:58

country singer. Country rock singer

24:01

and folk singer in the New York Times

24:03

crossword puzzle so I really oh Yeah,

24:05

you're one of those great names with a vowel to

24:07

be in an end you're all set my dad I'm

24:10

in there a lot my dad thought I'd finally made

24:12

it when I made it to the New York Times

24:14

crossword Yeah,

24:16

congratulations You

24:18

you got your start really early you you knew

24:20

what you wanted to do from a very young

24:22

age Yeah, I you know I didn't finish school

24:25

because I regret that now But but

24:27

I just didn't see how they were gonna teach me anything

24:29

more about what I wanted to do and my

24:31

parents were incredibly Supported but I finally dropped out when

24:33

I was 16. I started playing copy

24:35

I was in I met all these guys

24:38

that have been playing folk music for a lot longer than

24:40

I had and that's where I first Heard of towns fans

24:42

ant and Guy Clark and my new record is a record

24:44

of songs Written by Guy

24:46

Clark because I made a record of town

24:48

songs Ten years ago, and I do

24:50

not want to run into guy on the other side having

24:52

made the town Yeah, I know he wouldn't like that We

24:56

read that you you were such a fan

24:58

or of towns vans ant that you actually

25:00

like went to where he was and tracked him

25:02

Down I did that I did the same thing

25:04

with guy where I tracked towns down in Houston

25:06

and he turns up at my gig There's about

25:08

four people there you know including

25:10

towns and The second

25:13

set when I go down for my set you know

25:15

the first at the most eventful thing was the club

25:17

owners dog fell in love right in front of the

25:21

And then the second set I finally come down

25:23

and here's town sitting in the front row. He's

25:25

pretty he drank a little and He

25:28

was pretty lit, and he was sitting there, and

25:30

he did not make a sound while I was

25:32

actually singing But between every song he'd lean back

25:34

and go play the Wabash

25:36

cannonball And

25:39

I'm like so I'd play another song great.

25:41

I'm being heckled by my hero. Yeah, I

25:44

Get a treasure along and then get to the

25:47

play the Wabash, Canada. I finally had to admit

25:49

I don't know the one that well And

25:52

He then they said you call yourself a folk

25:54

singer, and you don't know the Wabash cannon But

25:56

I'm like so I Played this song called Mr..

25:58

Mud Mr.. Gold A sorry his. There's about

26:00

a million words and then he shut

26:02

up. Yeah, and they really? If we

26:05

introduced ourselves afterwards and an hour and

26:07

he became a teacher or were some

26:09

time that's really amazing said I'm. You've.

26:12

Been through a lot. A meet our

26:14

real good about you Find out? I

26:16

mean like for example, you played a

26:19

recovering addict in The Wire. I did

26:21

and and apparently. Is

26:24

not as as a stress for you as

26:26

an idea David Simon idea from who was

26:28

from media because I was off her roles

26:30

a lot younger lot better looking than I

26:32

am now and I hated it when actors

26:34

may record side to sorry turned them down

26:36

and standing or something on Wednesday with David's

26:38

of big music fan and he com or

26:40

manager he says i've got this character and

26:42

I think Steve. The didn't would like to

26:44

read for it. I read for it on in

26:47

our just on and meditate and us in a

26:49

studio and it was like I play the red

26:51

neck recovering addicts of Like You Said I didn't

26:53

have to really add. Some

26:56

we readings you with New York and

26:58

the most amazing read as it in

27:00

your enthusiasm in New York or yoga

27:02

and broadway musicals has pretty much. More.

27:09

Mobile version was just a thing that

27:11

was sort of of. Us

27:13

are station of the fly rod and I got

27:15

gets extra ammo. Places where best funded and I

27:18

fell in a river for the first time you

27:20

know and I was just getting back in the

27:22

bud. flattened out of the next spot. Talking to

27:24

a friend of mine. And I

27:26

just said ma'am my core strength

27:28

is just go in San and

27:30

the he said well you know

27:32

been taking the other couple times

27:34

a week a guy comes up

27:36

a spend money on dumber stuff.

27:38

The mass it started as as

27:40

that is as dealing with a

27:42

physical issues but I'm I'm the

27:44

way I'm still here is twelve

27:47

step programs and you know that

27:49

says it's a serious I. Think

27:53

you're supposed to do is interesting firms

27:55

is is. is get to a place where you

27:57

prayer meditate everyday and i was the only thing that i

27:59

do didn't do. And I'm kind

28:01

of an old hippie anyway, and so I've known

28:03

about these things all my life. But

28:06

through that association, I met a yoga teacher

28:08

in New York and started

28:10

studying with her. I'm

28:12

on blocks and a lot of

28:15

cheating going on. Yeah, I understand

28:17

that. You've been

28:19

married six times, seven times?

28:22

Six times? Seven times six lives. Right.

28:25

Now, when people talk about people who've been

28:27

married a lot, we often joke about hope

28:29

over experience. And they just think this time

28:31

it's going to work out. And we talk

28:33

about people's optimism. What I was thinking about

28:35

in your case is, if you

28:38

meet a woman and the woman knows you've

28:40

been married, say, let's pick middle five times

28:42

before, how do you convince her, like,

28:44

no, really? It was always their fault. Well,

28:46

wait a minute. Here's the real question is,

28:48

if you've been married six

28:51

times and you meet a woman

28:53

that's willing to marry you. That's what I mean,

28:55

yeah. Yeah, what? What? You know, it said, yeah,

28:57

that should give you pause and, you know, I'm

29:04

finally starting to get it. Yeah. Okay,

29:09

so let me ask questions. Elizabeth Taylor

29:11

was married so many times because she

29:13

liked being married. Do you like being

29:15

married? I played 200 shows

29:18

last year. So whoever

29:20

was married to me probably didn't like it all that much

29:22

because I was gone about half the time. And I didn't

29:24

really know what really being married was like the way that

29:26

most people did because I got my

29:29

own room for over half of my

29:31

life. Yeah. Steve, have you met

29:33

Roxanne? I did meet Roxanne. Yeah,

29:36

yeah, yeah. Well, Steve Earle, we've invited

29:38

you here to play a game we're

29:40

calling. Steve Earle, meet Steve Urkel. As

29:46

I'm sure you remember, you've been around.

29:48

Yeah. Uber nerd Steve Urkel is

29:50

one of the most popular TV characters in the

29:53

1990s in the show Family Matters. I'm guessing

29:55

you didn't have a lot of time to watch TV in

29:57

the 1990s. You know what, I don't think I've ever seen

29:59

a complete... complete episode of the episode. That's great,

30:01

because that's the whole principle that you're not supposed

30:03

to know anything. Knowledge first. I'm hoping you guys

30:06

would mess this part up. Yeah, we're going to

30:08

ask you three questions about that icon in the

30:10

flood pants and suspenders. If you get two right,

30:12

you win our prize for one of our listeners,

30:14

the voice of their choice and their answer machine.

30:16

Bill, who is Steve Earle playing for? Brian Hines

30:19

of Pleasant View, Tennessee. All right.

30:21

Wow. Ready? Cool.

30:24

Here's your first question. Now, the popularity of the character of

30:26

Steve Urkel was great for the actor in the TV show,

30:28

but bad for whom? A, the actual Steve

30:31

Urkel, for whom the character was named, who

30:33

spent a decade enduring jokes and disappointment that

30:35

he didn't talk funny. B,

30:37

the belt industry, as Urkel's suspenders caused a

30:39

40% decrease in sales. Or

30:43

C, speech therapists who had to deal with people

30:45

trying to talk like Urkel. Oh,

30:49

boy. Let's say B. You're going to

30:51

have to be the belt industry? Yeah. Did

30:53

people stop buying belts because the suspenders were so sexy?

30:55

Yeah. So it was actually the real Steve

30:58

Urkel. The real Steve Urkel. It was a real guy named

31:00

Steve Urkel, who the character was named for, and he did

31:02

not enjoy it after a very short while. Two

31:04

more chances. Here's your next question. Urkel's popularity

31:06

led to a number of branded products, including

31:09

which of these? A,

31:11

Steve Urkel nerd glasses with masking

31:13

tape pre-applied. B, Urkel

31:15

owes breakfast cereal. Or

31:17

C, an automated chess player called the mechanical

31:20

Urk. Breakfast

31:23

cereal, I guess. It is a

31:25

breakfast cereal. Oh, no. Last

31:28

one for all the marbles. Jaleel White, the

31:30

actor who played Urkel, went on to have

31:32

the usual struggles of an actor associated with

31:34

one role. He tried appearing on Dancing with

31:37

the Stars, but what happened? A, asked to

31:39

dance in flood-high pants and suspenders. He swore

31:41

and stomped off the set. B,

31:43

he was so obnoxious to other participants that

31:45

became known as Jirkel. Or

31:48

C, he insisted on doing his own choreography for the

31:50

jitterbug section and broke a hip. Oh.

31:56

Let's see. B. B,

31:58

it is B! He

32:02

denied of the rumors that he was unpopular

32:04

and said he got along great with everybody.

32:06

He was still voted off the show them

32:08

how to several do? What a smart guy!

32:17

New album is called Guy is Out Now

32:20

where ever you listen to music Steamroll! Thank

32:22

you so much for joining. Editor

32:37

with a megaphone to. That's when we come

32:39

back with more of what we don't tell

32:41

me from Npr. This

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Memorial. From

34:03

NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is

34:05

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the

34:07

NPR News Quiz. I'm Chiyoki

34:09

Iansen filling in for Bill Curtis, and

34:11

here is your host at the Studebaker

34:14

Theater in downtown Chicago, Peter Segal. Thank

34:16

you so much, Chiyoki. Thank you,

34:18

everybody. So, this is

34:21

our special You Got What You Paid For

34:23

edition, in which all the funders whose names

34:25

Chiyoki reads on the air every day find

34:27

out what it is they are in fact

34:29

paying for. And Chiyoki, since we got you

34:31

here, people must pay a lot to hear

34:33

their name read in your velvety voice, am

34:36

I right? Well Peter Segal,

34:39

it's a lot more than the five

34:41

dollars that you, Peter Segal, lived me

34:43

before the show, Peter Segal.

34:48

It wasn't five dollars each though, just so you know that,

34:50

okay? And

34:52

if just hearing Chiyoki isn't enough,

34:54

here's comedian and writer Nick Kroll, who joined

34:56

us in March of 2023. Guest

34:59

host Nageen Farzad asked him if being a

35:01

history major helped when he made

35:03

the sequel to Mel Brooks' History of the

35:05

World Part 1. No,

35:09

I was not. But

35:12

I do love history. A lot of my work

35:14

has had historical elements to it, but

35:17

I think it was really more of a

35:19

passion for Mel Brooks than

35:21

history that got me the gig, I

35:23

think. Were you intimidated? Like were you

35:25

afraid about making him laugh and what was

35:28

going to land with him? Oh

35:30

yeah, I mean pitching a joke to your hero

35:32

is when you get

35:34

a laugh from Mel Brooks, it's the best feeling in

35:36

the world. But

35:39

when he tells you, no, that

35:41

joke is stupid, it's a real

35:43

roller coaster. It's truly fun. And

35:46

explain this to me, like so History of the World Part

35:48

1 came out in 1981 over four years

35:51

ago. Is this the longest

35:53

anyone's ever waited for a sequel or

35:55

what? It's

35:58

possible. I'm currently... Working

36:00

on Gone With went to. The

36:05

time is right. right?

36:07

A freshly from a white dude. I think

36:09

it starts to rise. Up.

36:15

Against the good chance me to tell my. Son

36:17

of. A Jewish boy

36:20

from Rise To Com score for her. To

36:23

this is. Not

36:27

known for your characters and so easy to

36:29

do. So many the great characters on history

36:31

will parties were some of the characters that

36:33

have been thought of that haven't made it

36:36

onto your work. Well

36:38

I mean I I build my characters from

36:40

the name of. The

36:43

runway for people want to be like alive

36:46

or this is where this person is from.

36:48

His with their families like and I and

36:50

I built the character in in history the

36:52

world. With the a Russian

36:55

Jew in the stellar sort of a Fiddler

36:57

on the Roof a parody on his name

36:59

is Schmuck Mud Men. Vi

37:04

to be as like an average years family

37:06

grew up with like the story of how

37:08

one of their family members hundred cape Russia

37:10

because they killed a cost that up with

37:13

their bare hands and I thought to be

37:15

funny of schmuck to nudge the car max.

37:20

I wanted to do of of a

37:22

Sir Isaac Newton bet. That we never

37:25

could Quite cracks. but

37:27

he just of apple falls on his head

37:29

and he what he discovers his apple sauce.

37:35

And it happened. It happened. laugh

37:37

of the audience is exactly why.

37:44

We we did it to talk about your

37:47

son and against forever but we have actually

37:49

asked you here today to play a game

37:51

we're calling. Nick Kroll meets

37:54

Rick Roll. role

38:00

you, by that we mean ask

38:02

you about roles played by actors

38:04

named Rick. Answer two

38:06

out of

38:11

three questions correctly and you'll win our prize for

38:13

one of our listeners. Bill, who is Nick Kroll

38:15

playing for? Aaron Cahn of

38:17

Los Angeles, California. I'm

38:20

very excited. I love Aaron. She's one of my dear

38:22

friends. Alright, here's

38:24

your first question. Jesse's girl

38:26

singer Rick Springfield also played Dr. Noah

38:28

Drake on General Hospital starting in 1981.

38:31

But Springfield never sang on General Hospital

38:34

until 2007 as a part

38:36

of what storyline? Was it A, he

38:38

was kidnapped and tied up next to

38:40

a bomb that could only be diffused

38:42

by singing a certain frequency, B,

38:45

a rock star who looked exactly like

38:47

Noah Drake needed emergency surgery so they

38:49

convinced Drake to fill in for the singer

38:52

at a big charity concert, or

38:54

C, he was abducted by aliens and sang

38:56

to prove that humans were worthwhile species.

39:01

But everybody knows in the wait, wait,

39:03

don't tell me universe how big a

39:05

General Hospital fan I am. So I'm

39:08

going to say that it was B.

39:11

That is right. The

39:13

rock stars. Rick

39:16

Springfield of course played both roles, Noah

39:19

Drake and the singer Eli Love. Here's

39:22

your next question. Rick Moranis of

39:24

Ghostbusters fame was fired from the

39:26

role of Carl the janitor in

39:28

the breakfast club. Why? Was

39:30

it A, he insisted on playing the

39:32

janitor with a cartoonishly thick Russian accent,

39:34

fake gold teeth and a gigantic ring

39:37

of keys? Was it

39:39

B, he was too short to be seen behind

39:41

the big trash can he had to wheel around?

39:45

Or was it C, he spent all day

39:47

standing outside the bathroom in character and

39:49

loudly complaining each time somebody used it?

39:54

I'm going to go with A. That's

39:58

right. It was the Russian A. After

40:02

a couple of days, Johnny has finally asked

40:05

him, Rick, have you read the script? Okay. And

40:09

he was like, no, I apparently didn't. Why? Jingle,

40:13

jingle, jingle. Okay. For

40:17

your last Rick role, Rick Overton is

40:19

a veteran character actor who has played

40:21

almost 200 roles, including Deacon

40:23

Williams in the 2015 Lifetime

40:26

original movie Lethal Seduction. What

40:29

was the tagline of... Amy Dickinson's

40:31

story. Sorry. What

40:35

was the tagline of Lethal Seduction?

40:38

Was it A, never gonna give you

40:41

up, B, never

40:43

gonna let you down, or C,

40:45

never gonna run around

40:47

or desert you? Well,

40:54

of course, this is a joke about

40:56

Rick Astley, the original Rick role. I

40:59

don't appreciate you guys not taking the game seriously. Oh

41:02

my God, is this A, never gonna give you

41:04

up? You

41:08

know what? It was none

41:10

of the above, and we weren't

41:12

taking it seriously, but we are gonna give that

41:14

point to you. You better.

41:17

I'm taking this very seriously. I

41:19

don't appreciate you guys joking around.

41:22

It was the tagline, by the way, because

41:24

I know you're dying to know. The

41:26

tagline was actually, innocence can be

41:28

deadly, but you can't really

41:31

dance to that. Yeah, like

41:33

I didn't know that, like

41:35

lethal injection. Lethal

41:38

injection. Lethal

41:42

injection. Right. Bill,

41:45

how did Nick Kroll do on our

41:47

quiz? Nick, you might be surprised, but you

41:49

got them all right. You're a win in

41:51

our book. Yay! I'm

41:55

gonna be honest with you guys, I'm not surprised at all.

41:58

This is what I've been training for my whole life. whole life

42:00

I would never let Aaron down. I

42:03

came here to dominate Rick Roll, I came

42:06

here to embarrass Pete Groves, I love this

42:08

audience again you guys are all gonna

42:14

be on History of the World part 3. $100 cash to Pete

42:16

Groves at www.TrumpInnivor patee.com.

42:23

And in the meantime you can see Nick Kroll

42:25

and History of the World part 2 on Hulu.

42:27

Nick Kroll thank you so much for joining us

42:29

on Wait, Wait, Don't Call Me. Thank you. This

42:43

is H.M. Fermentio, Spencer Capital

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43:51

at shopify.com/NPR. Finally,

43:54

Vanity Fair is the premiere glossy gossip magazine

43:56

about the A-list and the Jetset. So it

43:58

was a bit of a surprise. surprised

44:00

as some when its

44:02

owners hired a PhD in comparative literature

44:04

to be the editor in chief. When

44:07

Radika Jones joined us in June of last year,

44:09

we asked her about how she got the job.

44:12

What was the interview process like? Did they say to you,

44:14

what would you do with Vanity Fair? Or did they tell you

44:16

what they wanted with Vanity Fair? What was the mission that

44:18

was given to you? The

44:21

idea was for me to express

44:24

what I would do with it. And

44:27

it's an amazing title. It has all the

44:29

associations you mentioned with celebrity and scandal. But

44:33

it also over the years has done

44:35

incredible investigative reporting and really

44:38

important sort of journalism, war reporting, all

44:40

of that. I think there's a

44:42

lot of room for magazines that are really smart

44:44

about our culture in all of its forms. And

44:47

to me, at its core, that's what the F

44:49

is. Right. I have a question.

44:51

Go ahead, Emily. In your interview, did they

44:53

ask you to name every Kennedy by heart? Thankfully,

44:58

no. Vanity Fair does these

45:00

questionnaires for sometimes for celebrities. Did they say

45:02

to you, what living human do you despise

45:04

the most? Oh, yeah. What smell

45:07

makes you furious? Those

45:10

answers are off the record. I understand. You

45:13

are a professional. You

45:15

guys also have done an amazing job reporting on

45:19

Fox News and Rupert Murdoch. In fact, you

45:21

recently broke the story that he asked his

45:23

latest wife, Jerry Hall, for a divorce via

45:25

email. Ouch. Yeah.

45:29

Do you ever worry that he's Rupert Murdoch? Do you

45:31

ever worry he might have you killed? I

45:37

suddenly am very conscious that I'm alone

45:39

in my office. But there's

45:41

security down there. Don't

45:46

worry about me. Rupert will be foiled again. You

45:48

have an amazing

45:51

amount of cultural influence. Have

45:53

you ever been tempted to

45:55

use it for evil? Just

45:58

say, let's get... Scarlett Johansson.

46:01

Every day. Every day. All

46:03

right. Every day. Can

46:05

you give me an example of like...

46:07

No. No, no. Like

46:10

for example, I would like get Annie

46:12

Leibovitz to take out like a beautiful

46:14

cover photograph of say, Scarlett Johansson wearing

46:17

big fuzzy earmuffs so

46:19

that everybody would then wear earmuffs. That

46:22

would be my thing. And obviously I'm not qualified to

46:24

do your job because that's the thing. But... I

46:27

feel like you're not going far enough. Show

46:31

me up. Oh, no. You

46:34

already have people putting hits out on me. That's true.

46:37

Because they're trying to get me in trouble. All right.

46:40

I'm going to ask you one question as a

46:42

tastemaker though, because again, your opinion goes, you're the

46:44

editor in chief of Vanity Fair. Are

46:47

Apple Vision Pro goggles cool

46:50

or not? I

46:53

haven't tried them on yet. Yeah.

46:55

But I think that I think that

46:57

that is in my future. And

47:00

are they cool? Are they cool? Are they

47:02

cool? Are they cool? You get to say.

47:05

You don't have to guess. You get to say.

47:07

I'm going to say they look pretty cool. There you are.

47:09

It's decided. Apple

47:12

stock just went up 5% because

47:15

she said that. Well, Radhika

47:17

Jones, it is a lot of fun to talk

47:19

to you. And we are going to test

47:21

your intellectual metal by asking you to play a

47:23

game that this time

47:25

we're calling Vanity Fair meets

47:28

State Fair. You

47:31

added Vanity Fair. What do you

47:33

know about State Fair, the wonderful entertainment that

47:35

happens all over the country every summer? Get

47:37

two out of three questions right. You'll win

47:39

a prize for one of our listeners. Bill,

47:41

who is Radhika Jones playing for? Sam

47:44

Jacobs of Atlanta, Georgia. All

47:46

right. Here's your first question.

47:49

These days, attractions at your state fairs tend

47:51

to be carnival rides, maybe a tractor pole,

47:53

but back in the old days, some state

47:55

fairs had some really exciting things to see,

47:57

like which of these? A, genuine dual-size. to

48:00

the death, be steam

48:02

locomotives smashing into each other head

48:05

on, or see the

48:07

great sheep catapult. I've

48:14

read the Little House on the Prairie books, backwards

48:16

and forwards, and none of those things happen anymore.

48:19

I feel like this is... Maybe

48:23

Louisa May Alcott just didn't want you to know about

48:25

it. Laura Ingalls Wilder.

48:28

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. It's alright. I

48:31

really was like,

48:34

wow, Peter really...

48:42

Good for him. Dude,

48:46

dude, nobody here is ever going to respect

48:48

you ever again. I know, that was... Your

48:51

library card has been rescinded. Not

48:54

even rescinded, it just burst into place. It's really

48:56

not going to feel horribly embarrassed. Does this get

48:58

me out of answering the actual question? Yes,

49:00

no, it doesn't. Sadly, it doesn't.

49:02

Okay, I don't think anybody

49:04

died of state fairness on purpose, so

49:07

I don't think it could be A, and

49:09

I feel like catapulting sheep is seriously

49:12

uncool, so let's go with steam

49:14

locomotives. You're right, that's what happened.

49:17

They did it all

49:19

over the country, and they stopped

49:22

more or less at the Depression when they no

49:24

longer could afford to smash locomotives.

49:26

So they stopped. Alright, here's your next

49:28

question. Though many people

49:30

think the games over in the midway at

49:32

your fairs are rigged, one man was able

49:35

to clean out all the prizes at the

49:37

basketball shooting games at the Orange County Fair

49:39

in California one year just by doing what?

49:41

A, using a laser scope to aim his

49:44

shots, B, using his 10 foot

49:46

long prosthetic arm to just drop them in,

49:49

or C, by being former

49:51

NBA All-Star, Gilbert Arenas. Thanks.

49:55

You're going to go with B, he uses his 10

49:57

foot prosthetic arm to just reach out and drop the

49:59

basketballs. Yes, in fact. He

50:08

posted a picture of himself on Instagram posing with

50:10

all the stuffed animals they had, which he had

50:12

won. And then after

50:14

that, the fair gave him a lifetime

50:16

ban. All

50:19

right, very good. Here's your last

50:21

question. In addition to the usual

50:23

prizes for livestock, the Minnesota State

50:25

Fair gives that a prize every

50:27

year for what? A, unhappiest family

50:29

at the fair. That's

50:33

Tom's family. Yeah.

50:38

B, best matching costume

50:40

for a llama and its owner.

50:44

Or C, the Garrison Keeler

50:46

look-alike contest. I

50:50

really hope that C, that's awesome. You're

50:52

going to go for C. It was

50:54

in fact the llama and the owner.

50:57

Really? Yeah. What I

50:59

realized is we've got to schedule a photo shoot with

51:01

these llamas. Yeah, you are. That would be

51:03

pretty awesome. They are apparently extremely impressive and

51:05

it is a highlight apparently of the Minnesota

51:07

State Fair. Bill, how did Radica

51:09

Jones do on our quiz? You got two

51:11

out of three, which is a win. Congratulations,

51:13

there you are. Radica

51:17

Jones is the editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair.

51:20

Radica Jones, thank you so much for

51:22

joining us. We really enjoyed the costume.

51:24

Thank you very much. I love you. I

51:26

love you too. Cool. Cool.

51:30

That's it for our You Get What You Pay

51:33

For edition. Wait, wait, don't

51:35

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