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From NPR

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and WBEZ Chicago, this

0:23

is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR

0:25

News Quiz. I'm the voice

0:28

that's so beautiful, a sea witch once

0:30

tried to take it from me in exchange

0:32

for leg. Yeah,

0:35

buddy. Let them know,

0:37

Bill. Bill

0:39

Curtis. And

0:42

here is your host at the Studebaker Theater

0:44

at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois,

0:47

filling in for Peter Sagal. It's Nagin

0:50

Farsad.

0:50

Thanks, Bill.

0:56

Thank you, everybody. As Bill said,

0:58

I am Nagin Farsad. Let the disappointment

1:01

set in that I am not Peter Sagal. Trust

1:04

me, I'm disappointed, too. I could have been

1:06

a white guy.

1:07

Who's into

1:09

jogging? I mean, later

1:12

on, the incredibly talented

1:14

music producer Mark Ronson will join

1:16

us to play our games, but first, it's

1:18

your turn. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's

1:21

1-888-924-8924. Now

1:24

let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi,

1:27

you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

1:29

Hi, Nagin. Hi.

1:31

Who are you? This

1:34

is Tom from Juneau, Alaska. Oh,

1:36

my gosh. Juneau, Alaska.

1:39

Sounds good, doesn't it, right now? What's

1:42

it like over there? It is

1:44

absolutely stunningly beautiful. All

1:46

right, stop rubbing it in. Wait

1:50

for the Juneau heat dome, okay? Yeah,

1:52

right. All right, let's get into

1:55

it. Tom, actually, let me first

1:57

introduce you to the panel. First

1:59

up is...

1:59

comedian who you can see on the

2:02

Wait, Wait, Stand Up tour next month in San

2:04

Diego and San Francisco, it's Alzo

2:06

Slade. What's up Tom?

2:08

How you doing man? Hi Al, good. Nice

2:10

to meet you. Like what?

2:14

Next, he's the host of the daily podcast

2:16

TBTL and also the public radio show

2:18

Live Wire, which returns to the Alberta

2:21

Roads Theatre in Portland, Oregon, September 14th. It's

2:24

Luke Burbank. Hey Tom.

2:26

Hi, this is Burbank. Hi, this is Burbank. And

2:32

making

2:32

her debut on our panel,

2:34

she's a writer and comedian who is currently

2:36

on strike living in LA, which is short for Los

2:39

Angeles. It's Shantira

2:41

Jackson. It is Jackson. Well,

2:48

Tom, welcome

2:49

to Wait, Wait. You're here to play

2:52

Who's Bill this Time? Bill Curtis

2:54

is going to read three quotes from this week's news

2:56

while melting your heart with his voice. And

2:59

if you know two of them, you'll win our prize,

3:01

which is the voice from anyone on our show

3:03

on your voicemail. You ready?

3:05

Well, I have my whole family here,

3:08

so if my wife and I don't know the answer, we've

3:10

got a ringer lineup

3:12

of our dogs and cats to back us

3:14

up. Awesome. Okay,

3:16

here you go. Your first quote is Chris

3:18

Christie insulting somebody Wednesday night.

3:20

He sounds like chat GPT.

3:25

That was Chris Christie talking about Vivek

3:27

Ramaswamy, a man who stole the spotlight

3:30

at what big event?

3:32

That would be the first Republican

3:35

debate in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

3:37

That's right, the debate. Wednesday

3:43

marked the start of campaign season with

3:45

the first GOP presidential debate. Republican

3:48

candidates vied to get the chance to lose

3:50

to somebody in jail.

3:59

And nobody shine brighter than Vivek

4:02

Ramaswamy's teeth. Panel,

4:06

did you guys watch the show? Yo, Ramaswamy

4:08

has some strong teeth though. Oh my God. It's

4:11

alarming. His teeth are alarming. Honestly,

4:14

the whole thing was wild. And I actually thought

4:16

that the audience was some of the weirdest

4:19

part of it. Like the moderators

4:21

had to keep turning around and telling the audience

4:23

to like settle down. I

4:25

mean, for my money, I was like, come

4:28

on, let them have fun. I mean, what's the worst

4:30

that could happen when you rile up a bunch of Trump

4:32

fanatics?

4:35

Right? It's

4:37

gonna cool. It

4:39

would have definitely been

4:41

entertaining to see the crowd just get

4:43

rambunctious and just take over the stage

4:45

and steal the lecterns. I

4:49

just would have loved to see Mike Pence's hair

4:51

messed up. That

4:53

dude has Lego hair. Totally.

4:56

And I don't know if you guys missed

4:58

this, but the first question to the candidates

5:00

was about the number one song on the Billboard

5:02

Hot 100, the song Rich Men

5:04

North of Richmond. Can

5:07

you imagine if the song was still WAP?

5:10

Honestly,

5:13

Mike Pence would have just turned into dust.

5:16

He would

5:18

have looked off stage to see what his wife was thinking

5:20

of him like, mother. Which

5:23

candidate do you think would have been most likely to

5:25

twerk? Probably

5:28

Rama Rama's. It seems like

5:30

shameless. Isn't he like wrapping Eminem on

5:32

the campaign trail? Like at every start by Democrats. I'm

5:35

sorry I asked that question.

5:36

Okay,

5:41

let us move on to your

5:43

next quote. It's a new official term

5:46

from the Federal Aviation Administration.

5:48

Skin to skin. That

5:51

phrase describes an incident happening

5:53

with increasing frequency when

5:55

two what's almost crash into

5:58

each other.

5:58

Planes.

6:00

That's right, planes.

6:06

A new report from the New York Times finds

6:08

that close calls, airplanes almost hitting each

6:10

other both on the ground and in the air,

6:12

happened more often than we thought, with

6:15

46 incidents happening last month alone.

6:18

The FAA responded with a statement which

6:20

was basically, I know, right?

6:23

Crazy. Is

6:27

it just not enough space up there or what? Right.

6:31

One of the things they attributed it to was that they

6:34

have a lot of young pilots now, because

6:36

there was a pilot shortage and they've got new folks in the pipeline.

6:38

And I can tell you that as a person who

6:41

is rapidly advancing in age myself, I don't like

6:43

it that most of the pilots are younger than me now. That

6:45

does not make me feel super confident.

6:47

And I don't like their plan for

6:49

this, which is to put bumper stickers on planes

6:52

that say, get a pilot and please

6:54

be paid. Don't

6:56

like that. Or

6:59

another one that says, if you can read this, you're

7:01

probably too close. Okay,

7:07

here is

7:07

your last quote.

7:13

Whenever you skip your daily Starbucks, you're

7:15

making money. That

7:17

was a person on TikTok explaining girl

7:20

math. A new way to think about doing

7:22

what?

7:23

Oh, I am stumped. I

7:27

don't do social media, so you've got me

7:30

stumped. This also feels like a real minefield for

7:32

you, Tom. What do you think

7:34

it probably is? I feel

7:36

like my best course of action here is to ask for

7:38

someone else to answer this

7:40

question. Well, let me give you a hint.

7:42

Okay. Girl math helps you with your finances.

7:45

You just kind of say that back at me. It

7:47

will really, I'm just like

7:50

locking this question up. Girl

7:52

math helps

7:52

you with your finances. Hey, Tom.

7:55

That's right. Oh,

8:02

Tom, you did so well with that. The

8:05

Washington Post is reporting on girl math,

8:07

the latest way to feel like you're making money

8:09

while going broke. Did

8:11

you return $100 pair of jeans? Treat

8:14

yourself, because you just made $100. Absolutely,

8:18

absolutely. Talk to me about how you do girl math.

8:21

Let me tell you about girl math. Yes. Girl

8:23

math is you go to Marshall's, you go to TJ Maxx,

8:25

you are a Maxxianista, and you buy a cup you do

8:27

not need. And then you go, I don't need this cup.

8:29

You take it back and you get a gift card for that cup. And

8:32

guess what?

8:32

That's free money. Free money. Okay,

8:37

here's some more examples of girl math, okay? For

8:39

those of you who don't know, like Tom, if

8:42

something is on sale and you don't buy it, you're

8:44

losing money, okay? If

8:47

you have money sitting in your Venmo

8:49

account, that's free money. Absolutely.

8:53

So if you spend it, that money doesn't count.

8:56

And if a friend pays you back for something, that's

8:58

like stock dividends.

9:00

Okay? That's

9:02

not how math works. We

9:05

didn't call it math. We called it what?

9:08

Girl math. Thank you. I feel like that's

9:10

a little disrespectful. Girl math, it's for me. Can I be an ally?

9:12

Because I do all of this stuff. If there's

9:14

money in my Venmo account, that's just like found money. I

9:22

will spend it on the most random stuff.

9:24

Here's the thing. If you want to be an ally to girl

9:26

math, give me some money. Okay.

9:29

I'll keep that one up. Okay.

9:32

Bill, how did Tom do? Great. Three

9:34

in a row. Happy Juno. Thank

9:37

you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank

9:41

you. Thank you. Thank you.

9:43

Thank you. Thank you.

9:45

Thank you. Thank you. Thank

9:47

you. Thank you. Thank

9:49

you. Thank you. Thank

9:52

you. Thank you. Thank

9:54

you. Thank you. Thank

9:56

you. Thank you. Thank

9:59

you. We'll be right back. Okay,

10:02

panel, it's your turn to answer questions

10:04

from the news. Alzo,

10:07

Ticketmaster has been selling special

10:09

listening seats for more than $200 each for Beyonce's

10:12

tour. They're just like regular seats

10:15

except you can't what?

10:17

You can't see the show? Yeah, that's

10:19

right. You can't see anything. What? Do

10:27

you want an experience

10:29

that's just like listening to Beyonce on

10:31

Spotify except it sounds worse and you might

10:33

get COVID? Try

10:36

listening seats.

10:37

So wait, they, so

10:39

you actually have to go to

10:42

the venue and she's performing. Yeah.

10:45

So like the overflow in a Southern

10:48

Baptist church. Yes. That's

10:50

exactly what it's like. Yes. Same

10:53

type of show. They don't even have it on a screen. No,

10:56

you like our staring. I mean, look, these seats

10:58

are basically situated behind pillars

11:00

or other obstructions. So

11:02

they're not like listening seats. They're more

11:04

like lean aggressively to one

11:07

side seats so you can try and say something.

11:09

But mostly you're looking at a pillar. I'll

11:12

be honest. I would do this and I would just

11:14

have to go to the bathroom a lot and I would

11:16

just be like, excuse me. I gotta go to the bathroom.

11:18

I'm standing in the stairs. And

11:22

here they're like, look, we can't all afford

11:25

seeing

11:25

seats. So I get listening

11:27

seats. But what are these $500

11:29

smelling seats? If

11:34

it's Beyonce, it's probably good.

11:36

I'm

11:40

not paying $500 to smell Beyonce.

11:42

We are

11:44

very different people. I

11:48

got the smell seats at the Ted Nugent concert.

11:50

Big mistake. Huge mistake. It

11:52

smells like summer. It smells like summer.

12:01

Coming up, we smell something fishy at

12:03

the supermarket. It's our bluff, the listener.

12:06

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY

12:09

in mere moments. We'll be back with more, Wait,

12:11

Wait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR.

12:16

Hey, everyone. I'm Ramtin Adablu.

12:18

I'm Randhabdul Fattah. We're the hosts

12:20

of NPR's history podcast, Through

12:23

Line. And we're launching a new series

12:25

called Past is Prologue, where

12:27

we ask big picture thinkers about why

12:29

things are the way they are, everything from

12:31

income taxes to affirmative action.

12:34

Listen to the Through Line podcast from

12:36

NPR.

12:41

From NPR and ODBEC Chicago,

12:43

this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR

12:46

News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We

12:48

are playing this week with Luke Burbank,

12:51

Alzo Slade, and Shatira Jackson.

12:54

And here again is your host at the Studebaker

12:57

Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for

12:59

Peter Siegel. It's Nageen

13:02

Farsad. Thank you.

13:07

And now, it's time for the

13:09

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game.

13:11

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY our game

13:13

on air. Hello, you're on Wait, Wait,

13:16

Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is

13:18

Emma. I'm calling from Bozeman, Montana.

13:21

Hi, Emma in Bozeman, Montana.

13:23

Is that town like riddled with Yellowstone

13:26

cast members?

13:27

Probably,

13:30

but I don't venture out much because I'm

13:32

just sick of the inundation

13:34

of people.

13:37

In Montana?

13:43

I like her. Well,

13:48

I like her too. And

13:50

it's so nice to have you with us, Emma. In

13:53

this game, our pals will each share a story,

13:55

but only one is true. And you have

13:57

to figure out which is the true story.

13:59

Bill, what's the topic? Something's

14:02

amiss at the Pack and Save. Nothing's

14:05

more dependable than the supermarket

14:07

Pack and Save. It tells you everything

14:09

you can expect right in its name. This

14:12

week, we read about something surprising going

14:14

wrong at a particular Pack and Save. Our

14:16

panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick

14:18

the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win our prize,

14:21

the waiter of your choice on your voicemail.

14:24

Are you ready to play? I'm

14:26

ready. Awesome. Okay. I'm

14:29

so excited. All right. First

14:32

up, it's Alzo Slade.

14:34

We all know when it comes to home cooking, the

14:36

food is better the second day, third,

14:39

and fourth of your adventurous. Meatloaf

14:42

lasagna mac and cheese is like the seasonings

14:44

come alive after hanging out and having a sleepover

14:47

in the refrigerator. A Pack

14:49

and Save supermarket in Canada made headlines

14:51

for its new beloved line of prepared foods

14:53

affectionately known as mom's

14:55

leftovers. It was a huge success

14:58

with customers lining up at the supermarket cafe

15:00

for their lunch meal that reminded them of

15:02

home. Well, there's a reason

15:04

why the meals tasted like somebody's home.

15:07

That's exactly where they came from. Turns

15:10

out that these meals were repackaged leftover

15:12

food from the employee break room refrigerator.

15:16

It started out as a cost cutting measure that

15:18

was successful until they tried to sell Brett's

15:20

special loaded nachos, which had all

15:22

the customers

15:24

running. All right.

15:32

So, leftovers repackaged and

15:35

sold from Alzo Slade. Your next

15:37

story of a packing problem

15:40

comes from Shantira Jackson. A

15:43

London branch of the Pack and Save supermarket

15:45

chain recently made headlines when it was discovered

15:47

that a deli worker had been charging people

15:49

extra money and pocketing it when

15:51

they ordered sandwiches she thought were gross.

15:56

She called it a nasty tax.

15:59

worker was a recent culinary school

16:02

grad who said, quote, I deserve

16:04

to be compensated for the fact that some people

16:06

have no taste. Sandwiches

16:09

she raised the price on included the

16:11

British Museum, which is when

16:14

you steal a little bit of everything from other sandwiches

16:16

and hold it captive in one sandwich.

16:18

The

16:22

Royal Family sandwich where all the

16:24

ingredients must be white. The

16:27

final sandwich she upcharts was

16:30

the Brexit, a rusty dusty, rusty,

16:32

raggedy ass breakfast sandwich mostly ordered

16:34

by tours.

16:35

Until

16:38

she was caught, the deli worker pocketed 12,000

16:41

pounds in nasty tax revenue.

16:43

She has since been fired and asked to return

16:46

the money. When asked if she felt remorse,

16:48

she said, quote, no.

16:58

A woman who is charging

16:59

extra for nasty sandwiches

17:01

from Shansira Jackson, your last

17:04

story of a grosser gone wrong comes from

17:06

Luke Burbank.

17:07

It seems like every day there's a story in the news

17:09

about something new and amazing that AI can do.

17:12

And now we can add poisoning mankind

17:14

to the list. Pack and save decided to

17:16

create an AI meal bot named

17:19

savey that was supposed to suggest recipes

17:21

but something went haywire in savey's brain

17:24

or the machines are turning on us as we

17:26

knew they would because savey suggested

17:29

meals like bleach infused rice

17:31

surprise. Surprise,

17:33

there's bleach in it. And also

17:36

Oreo vegetable stir fry. One

17:38

recipe savey called aromatic

17:41

water mix which would actually create

17:43

chlorine gas. The

17:46

bot described it as the perfect non-alcoholic

17:49

beverage to quench your thirst and refresh

17:51

your senses. What savey failed

17:53

to note is that inhaling chlorine gas can cause

17:55

lung damage or death. A

17:57

spokesperson for the supermarket said they were disappointed.

18:00

see a small minority have tried

18:02

to use the tool inappropriately and

18:04

not for its intended purpose. They

18:06

also noted that Savvy has terms and conditions stating

18:08

that users should be over 18 if

18:10

they want to poison themselves.

18:13

Okay. All

18:15

right. Emma,

18:22

this is what you have. You've got a story

18:24

about leftover food being repackaged

18:26

and sold from Alzo. You've

18:28

got a woman who's charging extra for gross

18:31

sandwiches from Shantira. And

18:33

from Luke, you've got an app that gives you poisonous

18:36

recipes. Which one

18:38

of these is real?

18:39

The third story. The

18:43

AI. Okay. Well, and

18:45

to find out the correct answer, we

18:47

spoke to someone reporting on the real story.

18:49

Customers realized that the app recommended meals

18:52

based on just anything. The most extreme

18:54

example was chlorine gas

18:56

producing drink.

18:59

That was Dan Radenhall,

19:01

a correspondent

19:01

for the Daily Beast, who reported on the

19:03

real story. Congratulations, Emma.

19:05

You got it right. I'm super excited for

19:07

me. Well, you not only

19:10

earned a point for Luke, but you've won our prize,

19:12

the voice of whoever you choose on your voicemail.

19:16

By the way, there's a wonderful array of Nageen

19:18

Farsads to choose from for that voicemail.

19:21

So I encourage you to limit your selection.

19:23

All amazing. Love you. Love

19:26

the show. Thank

19:29

you so much for playing with us today.

19:36

Bye, Emma.

19:41

And now the game

19:43

where big names do something tiny.

19:46

It's not my job. Mark

19:48

Ronson has won Grammys, a Golden

19:50

Globe, and an Oscar for co-writing and producing

19:52

music for Amy Winehouse, Lil Yellin,

19:54

and Lady Gaga. He is a staple

19:57

of weddings everywhere with his hit song

19:59

Uptown.

19:59

funk, this year he composed

20:02

the score and produced the soundtrack

20:04

for the Barbie movie.

20:11

So

20:11

don't be shocked the next time you're at a wedding

20:13

and everyone is dancing to I'm Just Ken.

20:17

Mark Ronson, welcome to Wait, Wait,

20:19

Don't Tell Me.

20:26

So we're so excited to have you here. One

20:29

of my first questions is about Uptown Funk.

20:32

It was such a phenomenon, but do you

20:34

remember where you first heard it in the wild?

20:37

I do. I

20:39

remember being in an Uber and hearing

20:41

it, like, I think I was like coming

20:44

home, maybe I was a little drunk coming home from a club

20:46

at two in the morning. It was like it was the first

20:48

time I ever heard it on the radio and it was the most

20:50

exciting thing ever. And

20:53

I remember saying to the driver, I was like, this

20:55

is me.

20:56

But

21:00

he's listening to like Bruno Mars

21:02

going like, don't believe it. You know, he's like,

21:04

sound like you. Like

21:07

I mean, I, I produced it.

21:09

But anyway, no, it was so exciting.

21:10

Did you have an inkling

21:12

then that it was going to be this worldwide phenomenon?

21:16

Well not by the Uber driver's reaction. But

21:18

I also thought that

21:20

I thought I, I, you know what

21:22

it was? That song we

21:25

worked on for a really long

21:27

time, about seven or eight months, because Bruno

21:29

was so, such a perfectionist. I kind

21:31

of am Jeff Basker, the other producer we

21:34

are in our work. So by the time we finally

21:36

stopped bickering about it and got it to a point

21:38

where we all felt good, we're like, wow, if

21:40

it passed this peanut gallery, at

21:43

least we know, you know, we feel good about

21:45

it. But what

21:46

everything that happened after that was just

21:48

such a wonderful thing. I mean, when you put a

21:50

song out, it's no longer yours. It

21:52

belongs to everybody. And then they decide what

21:54

happens with it. So that's kind of what

21:56

happened with that song.

21:57

So I want to talk to you a little bit

21:59

about. Being a DJ, we

22:02

talked before the show, and as you know, I have

22:04

in fact shaken my booty, as it were,

22:06

at a club where you

22:08

were DJing. And it was just

22:10

an incredible night. It was so fun. But

22:13

it made me think, you probably see a lot

22:15

of weird stuff on the dance floor.

22:19

Are you like basically embarrassed for everyone

22:21

as you see them dancing to your music?

22:25

I mean, I pretty much...

22:27

I think part of the reason I became a

22:30

DJ, I'm sure subconsciously

22:32

because I'm such a bad dancer

22:34

that I picked this job where I would never really

22:36

have to dance. Like I'm just

22:38

in this sort of like secret

22:41

area where no one can really see what I'm doing

22:44

from the waist down anywhere with my legs, no

22:46

matter how out of rhythm I might be. But

22:48

I think that... No. If

22:51

anybody's dancing, that's good enough

22:53

for me. So I mean, I have seen

22:55

some... One of my favorite things in my early

22:58

days of DJing in

23:00

clubs in New York in the 90s, Ru Paul

23:02

once came into the club, somewhere where I was

23:05

DJing, and this was when Ru was in sort

23:07

of playing clothes in a very handsome suit

23:09

and came out to me and was just like at the end of the night, you're

23:11

making me dance so much, you're making my booty

23:14

hurt. And I thought that that

23:17

was so cool that I put that on a business

23:19

card.

23:19

I just made a little... Business

23:24

cards that just said like, you're making my booty

23:26

hurt, Ru Paul. Available

23:30

for weddings and bar mitzvahs.

23:35

Well, let's talk about Barbie,

23:37

another worldwide phenomenon. I

23:40

want to talk to you about scoring the movie,

23:42

which you also did. Now that you've

23:45

scored a movie, do you find

23:47

yourself scoring like dramatic moments

23:49

in your own life? Or

23:52

just like Monday, like you're just

23:54

like chatting with a barista and

23:57

then it's like, man, man, man.

23:59

It's

24:02

funny because now I'm just so hyper

24:04

attuned to like, it could be the music in

24:07

a Burger King commercial. I'm like, oh I see why they

24:09

did that. That

24:11

song legit slaps. Yeah,

24:13

he says that. I'm

24:18

so now suddenly have like, so

24:20

like I just now all I can do is I can't even

24:23

watch a movie. If you don't even hear the dialogue

24:25

I'm just constantly paying attention.

24:27

So I heard this weird factoid about

24:29

you. Is it true that the

24:31

song I want to know what love is

24:33

was written about your mom?

24:36

Yes, that is absolutely true. I

24:39

would hope so because that would have been insulting. You don't

24:41

talk about somebody's momma like that. Yeah,

24:47

my stepfathers, Mick Jones,

24:50

who my mom married when I was 10 and

24:54

he wrote that song, you know,

24:56

for her and it's like, I mean, it's definitely setting

24:58

the bar pretty high like as a kid, like,

25:00

okay, well, you're not going to write anything as good as that

25:03

for anybody. But also what

25:05

was more funny is that he had

25:06

written a song.

25:08

He tried to tell that he wrote the song Waiting

25:10

for a Girl Like You as well. That was another big

25:12

ballad that he had for her. And she was like, you

25:15

wrote that song like five years before

25:17

you met me. He's like, right, but I was waiting for

25:19

a girl like you. Now

25:24

that's man mad right there. I

25:26

know. I did something very long

25:28

time ago. I need credit for it now. Yeah,

25:31

exactly. I was like, oh, my stepdad has game.

25:35

Well, the kids call it Riz? Yes,

25:37

not that Riz. Not that Riz. Oh,

25:40

okay. Well,

25:42

Mark, we've asked you here to play a

25:44

game that we're calling... What

25:46

about that downtown funk? Wow.

25:55

Yeah. That's what happens when I

25:57

don't use foot spray. So you

25:59

will... of course released the smash hit Uptown

26:02

Funk, so we're going to ask you about downtown

26:04

funk or stinky city smells.

26:08

And amazingly, in this quiz,

26:10

we only use the word urine once.

26:15

Now answer

26:18

two out of three questions correctly and you'll

26:20

win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill,

26:22

who's Mark Ronson playing for?

26:24

Brad Martin of Seattle, Washington.

26:27

All right. It's

26:32

a 206. I have to represent. Brad, let's

26:34

go. Let's go. All right. Here's your first question.

26:37

Most towns come to their funks naturally,

26:39

but some create their own, including

26:42

Lincoln, Nebraska, which in the winter

26:44

smells like what? Is it A,

26:47

nutmeg, which they mix in with their road

26:50

salt? Is it B, new

26:52

car smell from their factory that makes artificial

26:55

new car smell kicking up production?

26:57

Or is it C, animal

26:59

pee, which they spray on their pine

27:01

trees to keep people from stealing them

27:03

for Christmas trees?

27:05

I'm

27:09

going to go with C because that's the funkiest.

27:13

And that is correct. The answer

27:15

is animal

27:19

pee. The

27:21

whole thing about the funk, and I know I'm

27:23

not on camera for most people, it's like that kind

27:25

of face, you know? Nutmeg is not making

27:28

me.

27:30

All right. Here's

27:32

your next question. Lots

27:34

of cities have bad smells, but not

27:36

every city has a song about how bad

27:39

it smells. Which of these

27:41

is a real recording? Is

27:43

it A, the aroma of Tacoma?

27:48

Is it B, my dear Eureka,

27:50

how Eureka?

27:52

Or is

27:54

it C, Pueblo, Colorado, smells

27:56

like a rotten egg made of dead skunks?

28:02

Good luck punching that one up, Ronson. I'm

28:06

going to go with A.

28:07

Yes, it is the aroma of Tacoma.

28:15

Some

28:15

combination of a paper mill and oil

28:17

refinery and Tacoma's natural

28:19

stank made A smell so strong

28:22

it was immortalized in song. Not

28:24

going to lie, it's a bop.

28:26

Do you know that that mill is closing

28:29

down? They announced it this week because I'm from back

28:31

there. So the aroma of Tacoma

28:33

is going away in the next like few

28:35

months. So sniff it while you

28:37

got it, people.

28:38

All right,

28:40

so here is your last question. GQ

28:43

magazine published a list of the best smelling

28:46

cities in the world, including New Orleans,

28:48

which they praised for what combination

28:50

of scents? Was it A, incense

28:54

and sweat? Was it B,

28:56

old beer and frying fat?

29:00

Or was it C, strawberry hurricanes

29:02

and puked up strawberry hurricanes?

29:04

Just

29:11

C sounds so good.

29:15

I'm sorry, the answer

29:17

is B, old beer

29:20

and frying fat got New Orleans

29:22

on the good smelling list. All

29:26

right, Bill, how did Mark do on our quiz?

29:28

Well, he's a winner. Two out of three. Mark,

29:30

congratulations. We'll give you another Emmy

29:33

for this.

29:37

Mark Ronson is a Grammy and Oscar winning

29:40

producer, writer and DJ who composed the

29:42

score and produced the soundtrack for the Barbie

29:44

movie, Mark Ronson. Thank you so much

29:46

for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

29:48

Thanks so much.

29:56

In just a minute, Bill shocks your peacocks

29:59

in our listener list. challenge game call

30:01

1-888-WAIT-WAIT to

30:03

join us on air. Stay tuned for more Wait,

30:06

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31:06

From

31:06

NPR and WBEC Chicago,

31:08

this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR

31:11

News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We

31:13

are playing this week with Ouzo Slade,

31:16

Shatera Jackson, and Luke

31:18

Burbank. And here again is your host at

31:21

the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago Illinois,

31:23

filling in for Peter Zegel. It's

31:26

Nagin Farsad.

31:28

Thanks, Bill. In

31:32

just a minute, Bill philosophizes.

31:35

I think therefore, rhyme

31:37

M. If you'd like to play,

31:39

give us a call at 1-888-Wait, Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. But

31:45

first, we have some more questions

31:47

for the panel. Luke,

31:50

this week, The New York Times told the story of a

31:52

man who has been hiding a secret from his spouse

31:54

for 15 years. What

31:57

is the secret?

31:59

that he had

32:01

both a Tinder and a Grindr account. Can

32:08

I get a hint? Yes, yes. It's ironic because

32:11

his partner will never trust

32:13

him again. He admitted

32:15

that he didn't trust her. He

32:18

admitted something to his partner. What

32:21

am I missing here? You're like, you're just like not

32:24

gonna get this point is what's happening

32:26

right now. This guy

32:28

has not admitted to his partner that

32:30

he's super rich and

32:33

has a trust fund.

32:36

So

32:39

this guy wrote to the Times Ephesus

32:41

column, quote, unbeknownst to my

32:43

spouse, I have a trust fund that provides me with

32:45

a monthly income of $25,000. Here's

32:48

the deal. They've

32:50

been together for 15 years and

32:53

this has never come up. It's

32:56

a great conundrum for the Ephesus because

32:58

it raises an interesting question. When is

33:00

the right time to tell your wife you've just

33:02

been pretending to go to work every morning

33:05

for the past decade?

33:06

I read this story

33:08

because he kind

33:11

of tried to tell her, hey, babe, you don't have to work

33:13

anymore. We're good. And she's

33:15

like, what do you mean we're good?

33:18

He's like, I make enough money for both of us. You

33:20

mean by working at Subway? They don't pay you

33:22

enough. On

33:26

the other hand, it is kind of good news. Like

33:28

if you're in the relationship,

33:29

I would beat his ass. Really?

33:34

Even though you were going to be getting, even though

33:37

I beat his ass, if I have to go to work, have you ever

33:39

been to a job? I

33:44

do this. All my life I've

33:46

been working, I be mad as hell. All

33:49

right. Alzo. Yes. The

33:52

Washington Post gave us great advice on

33:54

how to make your house look clean without

33:56

doing what?

33:58

Cleaning it. That's

34:00

right without actually cleaning your

34:02

house. Yes. I

34:05

got this. The

34:07

Washington Post gave eight tips for how

34:09

to fake clean your house before guests come over

34:12

so it looks amazing but is still

34:14

disgusting. All you

34:16

need to do is wipe down the surfaces, plump

34:19

up your pillows, make sure it doesn't smell

34:21

terrible, and then shove everything loose

34:23

into the laundry basket to deal with later.

34:25

Isn't that cleaning? No,

34:29

that is, say it with me, boy

34:31

man. I know what I'm saying. All

34:34

you do is wipe down every surface,

34:37

vacuum the floor, do the dishes.

34:41

The Washington Post came out with it. The

34:43

Bachelor has been doing this for decades.

34:45

I was like, you can ask a 12

34:47

year old boy to write that article. The

34:51

Post also mentions turning up the lights

34:53

because apparently brighter spaces look

34:56

cleaner. But would it make more sense

34:58

to turn off all the lights?

35:00

No, no, no, no. If you turn on the lights

35:02

early enough before they get there, the roaches start.

35:04

They get pretty high. Yeah. Oh,

35:06

yeah.

35:08

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the

35:10

Blank but first, it's the game

35:13

where you have to

35:17

listen

35:21

for the rhyme. If you want to play on air, you

35:23

can call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's

35:26

1-888-924-8924. You

35:30

can see us here most weeks at the beautiful Studebaker

35:33

Theater in Chicago or on the road.

35:35

We'll be in Los Angeles on September 28th

35:38

and in Hartford, Connecticut on October 19th. And

35:41

don't miss the Wait, Wait, Stand Up

35:43

Tour. Coming up, we'll be in San

35:45

Diego September 27th

35:47

and San Francisco on September

35:49

29th. Tickets and information

35:51

on all of these at nbrpresents.org.

35:55

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

35:57

Hi, this is Carl Hester from Next Moon.

36:00

New Hampshire. Hey, Carl. What

36:03

do you do there in Nashua? I

36:05

am a Lutheran pastor. Wow.

36:08

Do you just have the

36:10

weight of everybody's rage on your

36:13

shoulders all the time?

36:14

No, not so much.

36:21

Well, thanks so much for joining

36:23

us today, Carl. Bill Curtis

36:26

is going to read you three limericks.

36:28

The last word will be missing, and if you can guess

36:30

that word on at least two limericks,

36:33

then you win. Here's your first limerick.

36:36

There's peacocks of pain

36:38

in the neck to me. Their

36:40

broods are more than we expect to

36:42

be. To slow down their clip,

36:45

we'll give them a snip.

36:47

Male peacocks will get a...

36:52

That's neck to me. Yes. That's

36:54

right. Pinecrest floor. Pinecrest

36:58

floor is overrun with

36:59

peacocks, so city officials are paying

37:02

over $20,000 to bring down

37:04

the population by giving their peacocks

37:06

vasectomies. It seems crazy,

37:09

but do you know how hard it is to get a condom

37:11

on a peacock?

37:12

But

37:14

you know, this is actually a really interesting story because

37:17

they don't want the male peacocks to know that they're

37:19

shooting blanks because they still

37:21

want them to peacock. So they

37:23

are capturing them, putting

37:25

them under, giving them vasectomy, and then turning them

37:28

loose because they like their pretty feathers

37:30

and all that. And if they were to just cut

37:33

off all of the stuff, then the peacocks would stop peacocking.

37:35

They also like to fight Teslas because

37:37

they're so shiny that they think it's another peacock.

37:39

I like that. Right? By

37:42

the way, Luke, you just said male peacock,

37:44

which is a tautology, and we will

37:47

be getting hate mail from NPR listeners.

37:48

I apologize. Peacock and

37:50

pee hen, right? Yes, exactly. The commissioners

37:53

approved the plan last month saying,

37:56

weirdest Eagle Scout service project

37:58

I've ever heard, but go for it.

37:59

Here's

38:03

your next limerick. Salmonella

38:05

provides a big hurdle, but

38:08

no smooching would make my blood

38:10

curdle. Those reptiles with

38:13

shells, they all cuddle so

38:15

well.

38:16

So I will not stop kissing my

38:18

turtle. Yes.

38:21

That's right.

38:26

So in response to a

38:28

salmonella outbreak, the CDC is begging

38:30

Americans to stop kissing their

38:33

turtles. I mean,

38:35

over the shell stuff is fine.

38:36

You

38:40

guys don't seem fazed by this. Are you guys just making

38:42

out with your turtles all the time? No. I'm

38:45

black. I'm not kissing nothing in the night. No,

38:48

but this is crazy. The CDC announced that at

38:50

least 26 people in 11 states

38:52

have recently fallen ill due to a salmonella

38:55

outbreak linked to pet turtles and

38:57

warns Americans to stop kissing them, even

38:59

if they're beloved pets. I mean, you'll

39:01

get sick and you'll just bleed

39:04

them on.

39:04

Well, I

39:06

appreciate that it's 11 states because I'm from Florida

39:09

and I'm assuming that 10 of the states are that

39:11

one. Right.

39:15

All

39:15

right. Here

39:18

is your last limerick. For Nintendo,

39:21

I was a big star ego. With

39:24

Luigi, I drove a nice

39:26

cardio. For

39:29

stars, we jump higher, but

39:31

now I retire. No longer

39:34

say,

39:35

it's a me.

39:38

Mario. That's right. Charles

39:43

Martinet has been the voice of Mario

39:45

for 32 years, spending decades

39:48

recording catchy phrases like, it's

39:50

a me, Mario, and woo-hoo,

39:52

and it's a me, Mario.

39:55

Martinet

39:58

retired this week. Now Nintendo is

40:00

looking for a new voice of Mario, but I kind

40:02

of feel like they can just use the old recordings

40:05

for forever.

40:06

They should let me do it. There

40:09

you go. Yeah, it's me, Mario. You know what

40:11

I'm saying? Oh,

40:13

dead ringer, Aldo. That was spot

40:16

on. Yeah, is there like a, I'm not totally

40:18

up to speed on the Nintendo universe,

40:20

but are there other projects where Mario talks more

40:23

than like the game that I used to play where the

40:25

princess was always in another castle? Because he

40:27

had no lines. No lines, exactly. The most

40:29

that I have seen Mario speak is

40:31

in the most recent Mario movie, and

40:33

he don't even talk like Mario. No, you just

40:35

use that accent. Maybe their plan is to

40:38

have Mario start commenting

40:40

on current events like, on

40:42

IP, a precaution.

40:44

Hey. Oh. All

40:49

right, Bill, how did Carl do?

40:52

Carl hit them all from turtles to

40:55

Mario. Three in a row, Carl.

40:57

You won.

40:59

Yes. Thank

41:02

you so much for calling in, Carl. You

41:05

bet. Thank you, indeed.

41:18

Now it's time for Lightning Fill in

41:20

the Blank, the last game of the show, and let's

41:22

be honest, the most stressful. Each

41:25

player has 60 seconds to answer as

41:27

many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each

41:30

correct answer is worth two points. Bill,

41:33

what are the scores?

41:33

Alzo and Shatira each

41:36

have two, and Luke has three. OK.

41:39

How did Luke get three? I don't know. All

41:44

right, so Shatira and Alzo,

41:46

you are tied for second, and I'll arbitrarily

41:48

choose you, Alzo, to go first. Are

41:51

you ready?

41:52

Yes. The clock will start when I begin

41:54

your first question. Fill in the Blank.

41:56

On Sunday, parts of California were hit

41:58

with a combined weather

41:59

event called a blank. A

42:02

her-quake. Right. On

42:05

Wednesday, the counter-events have been blank, reclaimed

42:07

the city of Rboitin. Ukraine. Right.

42:10

This week, India became the fourth country to successfully

42:12

land on the blank. Moon.

42:14

Right. On Tuesday, the Teamsters

42:17

ratified a new contract with package delivery

42:19

service blank. UPS. Right.

42:21

This week, a mission to remove a large piece of space

42:24

junk from the Earth's orbit was derailed

42:26

when blank.

42:27

Teamsters went on strike. When

42:33

the space junk was hit by other space

42:36

junk. On Monday,

42:38

viral country star Oliver Anthony became

42:40

the first artist to have their debut at number

42:43

one on the blank chart. Billboard. That's

42:45

right. This week, a destination

42:47

wedding in Italy had to be put on hold after

42:49

the groom's dog blanked.

42:51

Poopoo. No,

42:55

after the groom's dog ate his passport.

43:00

A little laxity may help. Bill,

43:03

how did Alzo do? Alzo, you did very well.

43:05

Five, right, 10 more points,

43:07

total of 12, put you in the lead.

43:14

And now, Shantira, that means

43:15

it's your turn. Are you

43:17

ready? Sure. All right. Fill

43:20

in the blank. On Wednesday, it was reported

43:22

that the mercenary leader who led a coup against

43:24

blank has died in a plane crash. Russia.

43:27

Right. On Thursday, Maui

43:29

County announced it was suing Hawaiian Electric,

43:32

alleging it's responsible for the blanks that ravaged

43:34

the island. The fires. Right. This

43:36

week, 22 states faced alerts over excessive

43:38

blank.

43:40

People doing stuff they ain't got no business. No,

43:44

heat. This week,

43:46

a woman in Texas was suspected of driving drunk

43:48

after she blanked. Hit something

43:51

while she was drunk. I'll

43:53

give it to you after she crashed into

43:55

a don't drink and drive sign.

43:59

On Sunday Spain beat England 1 to 0

44:02

to win their first ever woman's blank

44:05

World Cup and old boy didn't even show up Right

44:09

on Monday US sprinter Shaqari

44:11

Richardson won the blank dad 100 baby

44:14

100-

44:18

of the World Track and Field Championships this

44:21

week police in Australia were searching for a

44:23

man charged with lighting a series of fires And

44:25

for blanking telling everybody

44:27

he did it And

44:30

for having two live ducklings in his

44:32

pants

44:33

In

44:39

what Australian police are calling pretty much

44:41

a typical day on the job They've

44:44

charged a man for arson and also

44:46

for having two live ducklings in his

44:49

pants But that's not a crime.

44:51

He should be celebrated when he

44:53

put them in there. They were just eggs How

44:59

did shentera do

45:00

five ten more points 12 total

45:03

shentera you and Aldo I

45:06

was tied

45:06

in second place You're

45:09

way ahead of me. Oh, yeah, I gotta get

45:11

a lot right to catch up right How

45:13

many does Luke need to win five

45:16

right? Okay Luke? This is

45:18

for the game fill in the blank on Thursday

45:20

former president blank turned himself in

45:23

at Georgia's Fulton County Jail

45:25

You love to see it Donald Trump On

45:29

Tuesday the White House announced a five billion dollar

45:31

push to develop new blank vaccines Covet

45:34

right this week South Carolina Supreme

45:36

Court allowed the state six week blank ban to

45:39

take effect abortion Right

45:41

on a Wednesday the WGA rejected a proposed

45:43

contract opting to extend their blank straight,

45:46

right? This week the SWAT team

45:48

had to be called in after a fight broke out

45:50

at Canada's blank event

45:53

Tim Horton's opening in, Ontario Canada

45:57

is a soccer for peace event According

46:03

to a new study, too much blank time is

46:05

linked to developmental delays in toddlers. Screen.

46:08

Right. On Sunday, blank officially became

46:10

the highest grossing movie of 2023. Barbie. Right.

46:14

This week, police in the UK began taking measures

46:16

to stop a huge surge in people blanking

46:18

on tombstones. Laying?

46:22

I'll give it to you. Having

46:25

sex on tombstones. Authority.

46:29

Authorities in Suffolk, England have begun

46:31

blocking access to tombstones after

46:34

a surprising number of people have been caught having

46:36

sex, which is really weird, but not

46:38

as weird as the guy who started off the act

46:40

by saying, this is what grandma would have

46:43

wanted.

46:43

Yikes. Bill,

46:48

did Luke do well enough to win? Well,

46:51

he got seven right, 14 more points.

46:53

A total of 17 means he's

46:56

the winner. Woo-hoo! In

47:01

just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to

47:03

predict what will be the big surprise at the next

47:05

presidential debate. But first, let

47:07

me tell you that, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell

47:10

Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago,

47:12

an association with urgent haircut productions.

47:15

Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip

47:17

Godicke writes our limericks. Our public address

47:19

announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager,

47:22

Shana Donald, thanks to the staff and crew

47:24

at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Liederman

47:26

composed our theme. Our program is produced

47:28

by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian

47:31

King. Special thanks to Blythe Roberson

47:33

and Monica Hickey. The prize for most

47:35

subtle mustache goes to Peter Gwynn. Our

47:38

vibe curator is Emma Choi. Technical

47:40

direction, Lorna White. Our CFO

47:42

is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert

47:45

Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilag.

47:47

The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is

47:49

Mike Danforth. Now panel,

47:52

what will be the surprise at the next

47:54

debate? Superbank.

47:56

Everyone has to kiss a picture of Donald

47:58

Trump on stage. with tongue

48:10

alzo slayed

48:11

trapdoor triggered by all statements

48:14

not rooted in fact and

48:19

if any of that happens panel will ask

48:21

you about it here on wait wait don't tell me

48:23

thank you bill kurtis thanks also

48:26

to luke burbank alzo slayed and shantira

48:28

jackson and thanks to all of you for

48:30

listening i'm making for sardan

48:32

for peter sagle and we'll see you next week

48:44

this is

48:45

npr