0:00

Support for this NPR podcast and

0:02

the following message come from the

0:05

UPS Store. Open this Wednesday. Come

0:07

into your local store today. Most

0:09

locations are independently owned. Products, services,

0:11

pricing, and hours of operation may

0:13

vary. See Center for Details. The

0:15

UPS Store. Be unstoppable. From

0:22

NPR at WBEZ Chicago, this is

0:24

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the

0:27

NPR News Squiz. Welcome

0:29

everybody to Millennium Park.

0:37

I'm Bill Curtis and

0:40

here is your host at the

0:42

J Pritzker Pavilion in Chicago's Millennium

0:44

Park, Peter Fagel. Thank you Bill.

0:47

Thank you everybody. Thank

0:51

you all so much. We are so excited

0:53

to be back here at the beautiful Pritzker

0:56

Pavilion on the Chicago Lakefront.

0:58

We love doing the show outdoors.

1:01

This year though we had to make a deal to work

1:03

it all out. Took some time, but it's done. While

1:06

we are here, four million cicadas

1:08

are using the Studebaker Theatre down

1:10

the block. Later

1:13

on we're going to be talking to

1:15

proud Illinois native singer and actress Michelle

1:17

Williams, formerly of Destiny's Child. But first

1:19

we want you to harmonize with

1:22

us. The number to call is

1:24

1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-891. Now

1:27

let's welcome our first listener contestant. How you were on

1:30

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi

1:32

Peter, this is Brian coming from Seattle.

1:34

Hey, what's up in Seattle Brian? We

1:37

got some fans. Beautiful afternoon. What

1:40

do you do there in Seattle? I'm

1:42

an engineer for a local aerospace company.

1:44

Oh, I'm sorry. Almost a two year

1:47

old. You're an engineer for

1:49

a local aerospace company there

1:51

in the Seattle area. Just one of

1:53

those local mom and pop

1:57

corner plane manufacturers. That

2:01

is correct. Yeah, and that's

2:03

great. And do you have anything to do, do you

2:05

work on say the doors? That's

2:10

handled by other people. Other

2:12

people, that's somebody else's problem. Okay,

2:14

well Brian, welcome to the show.

2:17

Let me introduce you to our panel with

2:19

us here on stage at the Pritzker Pavilion.

2:22

First a comedian performing in Ashland, Oregon at

2:24

Belfiori Winery on July 5th and at the

2:26

San Francisco punchline on July 24th and the

2:29

27th. It's Helen Hahn. Hi,

2:31

hi Brian, hi everybody. Hello. Next

2:35

a comedian you can see June 20th to

2:37

the 23rd at Side Splitter's Comedy

2:39

Club in Tampa, Florida. Alonzo Bowden.

2:42

Hello Brian. Alonzo. And

2:46

she will be at the Rams head

2:48

on stage June 22nd in Annapolis, Maryland

2:50

and the Lincoln Theater in Mount Vernon,

2:52

Washington on July 20th. It's Paula Poundstone.

2:55

So

3:00

welcome to the show. Brian, you're of course going

3:02

to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is

3:04

going to read you three quotations from this week's

3:06

news. If you can correctly identify or explain just

3:08

two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice

3:10

from our show, you might choose for your voicemail.

3:12

You ready to go? I

3:14

am. All right. Now your first

3:16

quote is from a champion

3:18

athlete suddenly banned from

3:21

his sports premier competition.

3:23

To my fans, I love you

3:25

and appreciate you. Rest

3:27

assured you'll see me either again

3:29

soon. That was

3:32

competitive eating great Joey Chestnut after

3:34

he was banned from

3:36

what big competition? The

3:39

Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Yes,

3:41

you even branded it correctly. The

3:43

Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Sixteen

3:46

time champion of the Nathan's

3:48

Hot Dog Eating Contest. Joey

3:50

Chestnut was suddenly banned from

3:52

this year's contest after

3:55

he signed an endorsement deal with

3:57

a maker of vegan hot

3:59

dogs. And if

4:01

you don't follow MLE,

4:04

Major League Eating, that's

4:07

what it's called. You may not

4:09

know how big a deal this

4:11

is. Joey Tessnut is the guy.

4:15

This is like the NFL

4:17

banning Tom Brady or the

4:20

WNBA banning Caitlin Clark or

4:22

the Premier League banning some

4:25

soccer guys. Do

4:29

people like to watch, do you

4:31

know what competitive eating is?

4:35

You gotta watch it like it's a train wreck, Paula.

4:38

You don't intend to watch it but

4:41

then you can't tear your eyes away.

4:43

Do they have cheerleaders? Are they just

4:45

moms? Hey,

4:48

Joey. You didn't finish your dog.

4:51

No, you're not getting anything else

4:53

until you finish your dog. I

4:57

think we stretch the term

4:59

athlete as far as it can go

5:02

when we start including competitive hot

5:04

dog eaters. I think at

5:07

this point the team handball players are

5:09

like, see, we're athletes. When

5:11

you think about it, he

5:13

is the perfect person to

5:15

endorse vegan hot dogs because there is

5:18

no one in the world better at

5:20

swallowing hot dogs without tasting them. Well,

5:24

you know, the easy thing about saying vegan hot

5:26

dogs is look, no one knows what's in a

5:28

hot dog. So if you tell

5:30

us it's vegan, we're like, yeah, okay, whatever. Yeah. Yeah,

5:33

sure it is. Nathan's could have just said, you know,

5:35

ours are vegan. People are like, yeah, why not? Exactly.

5:39

Brian, your next quote is someone caught on

5:41

tape talking about her particular hobby.

5:43

I made a flag in my head. This

5:46

is how I satisfy myself. I

5:48

made a flag. That was

5:51

the very weird wife of which Supreme

5:53

Court Justice. I

5:56

think that's justice Alito. Yes. That

5:59

is the end. Now,

6:02

just a few weeks ago, we

6:04

all thought Justice Alito was throwing

6:06

his wife under the bus when

6:08

he blamed the whole thing about them flying an

6:10

insurrectionary flag on his wife saying, oh, my wife

6:12

just is really into flags. She's a flag freak.

6:16

It's true. She

6:18

loves flags. She designs flags, and

6:20

she regularly flies flags as a

6:23

great way of sending messages to

6:25

her neighbors, such as, do not

6:27

engage with me at the block

6:30

party. Yeah,

6:34

I'm starting to feel a lot more

6:36

sympathy for Justice

6:38

Alito. But

6:48

your tongue, I

6:52

wonder if Justice Alito, after

6:54

a night of passion, have

6:56

returned to Martha Ann. Were

6:59

you thinking about me, or

7:03

were you carrying a flag in your

7:06

head? Well,

7:08

more evidence for her actual obsession.

7:10

Her Spotify wrapped last year, it's

7:13

a grand old flag over and

7:15

over again. Well,

7:17

what she's kept to herself so far until

7:19

it needs to be released is that

7:22

she's also really into stickers and color

7:24

forms. She's

7:27

quirky. Martha Ann Betsy

7:29

Ross Alito is just quirky. Your

7:34

last quote, Ryan, is about a new text

7:36

feature that allows you to remotely take over

7:38

somebody else's phone and help them use it.

7:42

This will save my relationship with my parents.

7:44

That was tech writer Joe Wtusiak talking about

7:46

one of the many new features announced from

7:48

What Company this week. Apple?

7:51

Yes, Apple, the big news. Apple, everybody.

7:53

We love them. We have no choice. The

7:56

big news out of Apple's

7:58

developers' conferences. because the feature that

8:01

allows you to share screens during a

8:03

FaceTime call, that means finally you can

8:05

actually be your parents' IT

8:07

department, right? They can't do

8:09

something, you just say, okay, let's do this, and

8:11

you can actually do it on their phone for

8:14

them from wherever you are. That's great, except at

8:16

the end of the call, they take a short

8:18

survey on how satisfied they are with your service.

8:22

But don't you need them to do

8:24

something to allow you to get into

8:26

their phone? Ah, the Catch-22. Yeah,

8:29

like, just getting... As

8:31

someone who helped my parents set up Zoom

8:33

over the pandemic, I swear to God, I aged

8:35

like 20 years in

8:37

that one afternoon. It's also good

8:40

news for scammers who want into your phone.

8:43

It's like, greetings, mama, this is son. Please

8:45

share access to phone for favorite boys. Yeah,

8:49

it's true. My mom would be like,

8:51

okay, and she doesn't even have a boy. Okay,

8:57

this function hasn't been introduced yet, has it?

8:59

It'll come in the next update. There'll be

9:01

other features as well. For example, they've

9:04

upgraded the photo software so that

9:06

you can eliminate a person from

9:09

a photo. Oh, no. Yeah,

9:11

like you have a picture with an X and you don't want the X

9:13

in it anymore because otherwise it's a nice picture. Oh.

9:16

If you're really angry, you can do it with

9:18

all your wedding photos. And in like five minutes,

9:20

it's just a photograph of a fabulous party you

9:22

threw for yourself while you were wearing a great dress.

9:25

While I know what Samuel Alito is doing,

9:27

when he gets his hair done. Bill,

9:30

how did Brian do in our quiz?

9:33

A perfect score, Boeing is won. Congratulations,

9:35

Brian. Well done. Thank

9:39

you. Thank you, Brian. Thanks, the plan.

9:45

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer

9:47

some questions about this week's news. Helen, we

9:50

have a musical question for this wonderful musical venue.

9:53

During Hunter Biden's trial,

9:55

a woman testified that Mr. Biden had hired

9:58

her to do a laptop and...

10:00

played his preferred music for this lap

10:02

dance on his own song. So we're

10:04

going to play you two pieces of

10:06

music. You tell us which one he

10:08

chose for the lap dance. Okay,

10:11

here we go. Was it A?

10:15

Okay. Or

10:21

was it B? And again, this is what

10:23

he wanted played at his lap dance. Oh

10:32

my gosh, that second one is so

10:34

weird. It's gotta be that. That's right. No,

10:39

he had the sleep boxes

10:41

playing for his lap dance.

10:43

What are the sleep boxes?

10:45

What is that? That was them. That

10:47

little sort of folk alt band

10:49

you heard. Oh God, how do

10:51

you even lap dance to that? Oh,

10:54

I can't. There's no beat. There's no like...

10:57

No, no, you can. You can. Just

11:02

try. I've never heard

11:04

of bringing your own music to

11:06

a lap dance. I didn't even

11:08

know that was a thing. I

11:10

won't lap dance any other way.

11:12

I always say, people,

11:15

no, you provide. I have lap

11:18

dance to folk music. It

11:21

can be done. Let's put on this little number by

11:24

the weavers and get comfortable. But have you left dance

11:26

to Bach, though? I

11:29

draw the line. I have to draw the line.

11:31

We should know, we should know by the way,

11:33

that that first song was by Def Leppard, and

11:35

we just googled number one song for lap dance.

11:38

That popped up. And incidentally, when we googled number

11:40

one Fleet Foxes song for lap dance, we got

11:42

back, no. Coming

11:54

up, what happened in Belgium's Jamep Castle,

11:56

and did I pronounce Jamep right? We'll

11:59

find out. our beloved listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY.

12:01

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait,

12:03

Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. This

12:07

message comes from NPR sponsor Grammarly. You

12:10

use multiple platforms every day at work.

12:12

Writing is involved for most of them. That's

12:15

why Grammarly works where you work. 96% of

12:18

Grammarly users say it helps them create more

12:20

impactful writing. It works across 500,000 podcast.

12:37

Easier said, done. This

12:39

message comes from NPR sponsor

12:41

BetterHelp. When life is flying

12:43

by, it's important to take

12:45

a moment to hit pause,

12:47

set intentions, and reset. That's

12:49

where BetterHelp online therapy comes

12:51

in. Just fill out a

12:53

brief questionnaire to get matched

12:55

with a licensed therapist and

12:57

switch therapists anytime for no

12:59

additional charge. Visit betterhelp.com/NPR. Every

13:06

weekday, NPR's best political reporters come to

13:08

you on the NPR Politics podcast to

13:22

explain the big news coming out of

13:24

Washington, the campaign trail, and beyond. We

13:26

don't just want to tell you what

13:28

happened. We tell you why it matters.

13:30

Join the NPR Politics podcast every single

13:32

afternoon to understand the world through political

13:35

eyes. From

13:41

NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is

13:43

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the

13:45

NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.

13:47

We are playing this week with

13:49

Alonzo Bowden, Paula Foundstone, and Helen

13:51

Hong. And here again

13:53

is your host at Millennium Park in

13:56

Chicago, Illinois, Peter Hager. Right

14:04

now with the when we go one block the

14:06

listener game go on Aaa with Way to Blair

14:08

game in the air for check out the pinned

14:11

posts on her instagram page that we wait and

14:13

br. Hi.

14:16

Elon, the Eleven calling from

14:18

Baltimore. Maryland Baltimore. Would you do

14:20

their i'm a Pc season at

14:22

Johns Hopkins said in biomedical Engineering?

14:24

Oh wow. That's

14:27

pretty impressive. Have a smartphone

14:29

more. Magical

14:33

stuff via. Really?

14:37

The so we can study

14:39

the body without. Fixing it.

14:43

During the insurance exact ah another

14:45

jersey just walk into a room

14:47

the go that must hurt and

14:50

they walk in. Libya

14:52

Welcome to the so vivid a player

14:54

game in which you must try to

14:56

tell to from for to do with

14:59

the Lydia stop something's afoot at the

15:01

Flemish shipped home. Know that was not

15:03

one of Bills of Weird Book A

15:05

warm ups our panelists are going to

15:07

tell you about something strange that happened

15:09

recently as he Jeanette Castle. In Belgium,

15:11

pick the one is telling the truth, You

15:13

when the waiter of your choice and your

15:15

voicemail and ready to go. Oh yes or

15:18

I was here first from Helen Hall. Have

15:21

you watched the Real world or

15:23

Big Brother? Enlisted have less people

15:25

and more politicians? Will someone in

15:28

Belgian thought that because that is

15:30

the premise of. The Reality

15:32

series.com Claim is a

15:35

mix spinning. A

15:38

medieval chateau. Journalists Eric.

15:41

Going Going Going Sorry

15:43

Eric. Plays the Chris

15:45

Harris and. Ten

15:48

to seven minutes Belgian politicians

15:50

from various political parties vying

15:52

for power and upcoming elections.

15:54

There are moments of. conflict

15:57

and reconciliation The

16:01

Conclave, a reality

16:04

show featuring real politicians

16:08

after the election

16:10

in Belgium's real

16:28

government locked into the castle for

16:31

a week. Your next once upon a time

16:33

comes from Alonzo Bowden. Is

16:35

the new Tesla Cybertruck fit for a

16:37

king? Ten drivers paid to

16:39

find out. As

16:41

part of something called the Tesla Royal

16:43

Adventure, Cybertruck fans could pay $50,000 extra

16:47

and have their truck delivered to the

16:49

Gimep Castle in Belgium where they

16:51

would spend three days being pampered like

16:54

royalty while they drove their high-tech

16:56

hardcore trucks around the grounds. This

16:58

was great for buyers like Julian Gage

17:01

who said the only way his wife

17:03

would let him buy an $82,000 truck

17:05

was including this trip. So

17:07

everybody was up for it except

17:10

the trucks. The

17:12

first day saw a light rain and

17:14

then saw ten Cybertrucks trying and failing

17:16

to get up the muddy driveway. I

17:19

got stuck in four inches of water, said

17:21

Julian. Driver Ian Andrews took

17:23

his out to the woods, immediately got

17:26

stuck in a bog and suffered the

17:28

ultimate humiliation of being pulled out by

17:30

a mule. Julian

17:33

Gage's wife Margarita was happy though.

17:36

I floated away for three days of

17:38

food, drink, and spa treatment, she told

17:41

Auto News. Then I spent

17:43

the whole trip home listening to my husband

17:45

complain about a Wi-Fi glitch, keeping

17:48

him from opening his truck. I

17:50

mean I told him to get the Denali. Isn't

18:01

that bottle? I'm not drive

18:03

their new vehicle. Your Last

18:05

Castle Chronicle comes from Paula

18:07

Poundstone. Sleeve

18:09

once Norma Claire. To. Celebrate

18:13

of my family and friends over a

18:16

week. A

18:21

destination. Wedding

18:24

party. Disease

18:29

a bacterial disease by.

18:31

Fever. And pursue sweating. Soon after

18:34

their arrival, the ceremony almost had to

18:36

be postponed because the bridegroom, but their

18:38

head starts in a battle that will

18:40

take yourself. We

18:43

were really watched. It says bride

18:45

normative more. Fortunately, the sweat eventually

18:47

allowed us to slide at. A

18:51

wedding take place? guess report

18:53

hearing and rusty metal squeaking

18:55

sound coming from the bride's

18:57

chastity belt during much of

18:59

the ceremony. And

19:01

I love history. we just nancy chastity

19:04

belt would be you. Know. If

19:08

I hadn't accidentally graphic tees in the

19:10

most. Right

19:13

In a series of

19:15

so. Romantic. Sat. Alligator.

19:17

Ruined is tucked so. We're.

19:20

Suing the castle that same service.

19:25

Or one of these a half

19:27

Elizabeth Gaskell. A very real place

19:29

in a very real country whole.

19:31

Belgium was a from hell in

19:33

a reality tv show called the

19:35

Conclave and was politicians were blocked

19:37

thin films as they debated each

19:39

other before other. Watch some Alonzo

19:41

Bowden as cyber Dragon. Man's worth

19:43

will be sober drug fans. pay

19:45

extra so they could go to

19:47

this castle and get their new

19:49

vehicle stuck in the mud or

19:51

a destination Wedding was a medieval

19:53

seem that wins medieval. Which of

19:55

these are the real story of doing that? Remember

19:57

Tessa? I didn't want to go with him.

20:00

The Door A Beauty Goes Helen's

20:02

or enough a reality show featuring

20:04

houses sold in Us. harm's way

20:06

more I will to bring him

20:08

to quit desert. We spoke to

20:10

the New York Times Brussels Bureau

20:12

Chief. The. So had so

20:14

many trap. Home of the reality

20:16

show business with was a lot

20:19

on my behalf. Where

20:21

politicians there was a time machine.

20:24

a service business talking about the

20:26

real world is your method castle

20:28

as is worth a graduation. He

20:30

got a Weldon St. Helena selling

20:33

to. Say

20:42

to someone said you congratulations, good luck with

20:44

your story. Straight

20:46

here without. And.

20:57

Now the game we go, Not my

20:59

job. Michelle Williams was born in Rockford,

21:01

Illinois, grew up singing gospel insurers. To

21:05

do for living with as you want up

21:07

in a little loophole Destinies child. With

21:15

as high as his own, onto an

21:17

amazing solo career and a starring role

21:19

in many broadway shows including the new

21:21

shows Death Becomes Are coming to Broadway.

21:24

Sued for So bad? Because

21:32

people. And

21:37

and people from what I like, forget

21:39

where you from. The

21:48

very very. First home I ever

21:50

owned my own. Hours out and on would be a

21:52

field day with the south suburb is. Claiming

21:55

that I'm. Leaving the city said.

21:58

And it's true that you were a deficit. Yes,

22:00

I started off in the church.

22:03

You know, my mom made us go to church seven days

22:05

a week. It seems like

22:07

it. But

22:10

you know, once I got older and knew

22:13

that I need something to anchor me,

22:16

I really began to enjoy

22:18

developing my faith and my

22:20

spirituality in the church. So

22:22

yeah. So you started off thinking in the church. When

22:25

did you start like, because you ended up in one

22:27

of the great churches all the time?

22:30

Yeah, so before then, I did

22:32

a few years at Illinois State

22:34

University. Red Bird? Yeah, Red Bird. You

22:37

guys, okay, great. Hey, y'all. attorney,

22:39

or like I wanted to go into

22:42

forensics psychology, and he's going to be

22:44

one of the two.

22:51

And then I would say this

22:53

is really cool. Maybe

22:56

my last semester I get a phone call from a

22:58

friend of mine, and he was just like, I'm just

23:00

letting me know, hey, I'm about to go on tour

23:02

with 98 degrees and R&D legend Monica.

23:08

And so I just said out my

23:10

mouth, I said, well, if Monica needs

23:12

a background singer, tell her to call

23:14

me. Y'all,

23:16

he called me like a week or two

23:18

later and said, Monica's having auditions tomorrow in Atlanta.

23:20

Can you get here? I said, bro, I

23:22

can't get there. I can't afford a next day

23:25

airplane ticket. This is a 1999. I said, even

23:27

if I took Greyhound, I would just got

23:29

there in 2024. They

23:31

stopping every county on Greyhound.

23:35

No state, no state.

23:38

Listen, listen, listen. So

23:41

he has a cousin that works

23:43

for United Airlines. He

23:45

said, I'm going to call my cousin Gladys to see

23:47

if I can get you a buddy pass here to

23:49

Atlanta. Y'all,

23:52

I got the buddy pass to

23:54

Atlanta. I get the audition for Monica.

24:00

This is my I

24:50

Got the gig you sure did My

24:54

mom didn't talk to me for like a week

24:57

She didn't know Monica was an R&B singer. She

24:59

thought Angela mine was a gospel song I said

25:01

my angel of mine by Monica is not gospel.

25:03

I said a prayer And

25:08

then after that tour was over Destiny's

25:11

child was looking for you know, some

25:13

girls to just kind of fill in

25:16

Every now and then I get a phone call

25:19

from Beyonce's mom Miss Tina and she's like

25:21

hey I

25:47

Sing a good old Negro spiritual

25:50

to audition for Destiny's Child walk

25:53

with me Walk

25:58

with me I

26:00

want to leave everything behind

26:02

to hold with me. You

26:22

know what? I would hire you. Yes. We're

26:25

going to write. We've all come there to booty

26:27

listen. I was about to say. When you get

26:29

in the band and you're booty-licious, then what does

26:31

your mom think of that? You've

26:35

got to escalate in a brand

26:37

new house. Whoa. She's like, God is

26:40

good. Yay.

26:46

Well, Michelle Williams.

26:50

No, we've got to go, Mom.

26:52

We've got to go. We're a game to play.

26:54

We have a game to

26:56

play. Michelle Williams, we

26:58

have asked you here to play a

27:00

game we're calling. I'm

27:03

a survivor. One of

27:05

your biggest hits with Destiny Child is

27:07

Survivor. Yes. Right?

27:09

Yes. So we thought

27:11

we would ask you three questions about the long-running

27:13

reality competition of the same name. Yes. Right.

27:17

Bill, who is Michelle Williams playing for? Matt Gridjuk

27:19

of Chicago, Illinois. There we

27:21

go. Here's

27:25

your suggestions. Contestants on Survivor are

27:27

known for using anything they can find

27:29

in the island to gain an advantage

27:32

over the competitors. That explains why Shane

27:34

Powers of Survivor Panama said he almost

27:36

used what to gain an edge during

27:39

various challenges. A, the live, one-ton World

27:41

War II era mine he found floating

27:43

off the shore. B, a

27:45

book he brought from home called The Most

27:47

Ticklish Spots on the Human Body and where

27:49

to find them, or C, a kilo of

27:51

cocaine that washed up on the beach while

27:53

he was bathing there. Weed? Not

27:56

weed, no, it was cocaine. It

27:59

was just a little bit of a joke. clean it up in

28:01

PR guys. We've

28:04

heard of cocaine on NPR. What would cocaine have

28:06

done though? Well I imagine it would have helped

28:08

him with that you know the... How do you

28:10

know? I

28:15

said imagine. He's imagine. Imagine.

28:17

He reads a lot of news.

28:20

Yeah, true. No

28:23

I had my partying today. I'll go with C. You're gonna

28:25

go with C, you're right. Yeah. Wow.

28:29

As powers explained actually found this kilo of cocaine and

28:32

I was never a fan of cocaine in my personal

28:34

life but I thought that maybe rubbing in on our

28:36

gums before challenges to give

28:38

us energy. You think maybe he found

28:40

two kilos of cocaine? Maybe. He

28:43

didn't say that rather rapidly. All right here's

28:45

your here's your next question that was very

28:47

good. As you know for

28:49

the first part of each season on

28:52

Survivor the players have to cooperate with

28:54

each other in order to beat the

28:56

opposing tribe of various challenges. In the

28:58

Marquesas Island season contestant Kathy did want

29:01

for her tribe to make

29:03

contestants John. A. made him a new

29:05

lucky teddy bear out of palm fronds

29:07

when he walked in. Okay. B. pretended

29:10

to be a doctor and called his

29:12

employer with a medical excuse for being

29:14

gone for two months. Or

29:17

C. peed on his jellyfish sting.

29:19

Oh it's gotta be that one.

29:21

C. Yes it

29:23

is. Wow. Apparently a legendary

29:26

moment in Survivor. John

29:28

came out of the water touching his hand and yelled

29:30

I need someone to pee on me and

29:33

Kathy immediately obliged. All right.

29:35

Last question. Jeff

29:37

Probst that's Survivor's long time

29:39

host. He's made other

29:41

reality TV programs over the years including

29:44

which of these? A. Championship of reality

29:46

show champions fitting winners of all the

29:48

other reality shows against each other in

29:50

fist fights. B. lived

29:52

for the moment in which terminally ill

29:55

people get taken on one last adventure

29:57

before they die or We

30:00

see the rat race in which people

30:02

are given dead-end jobs and offices and

30:04

we wait to see who quits last.

30:08

Process of elimination, no C because we've

30:10

already had two C wins. Right. A

30:13

or B? B! Yes

30:16

it is! B! Wow. Well,

30:23

how did Michelle Williams do in her quick? With

30:25

a little divine inspiration. She

30:28

had them all right. She's a winner. What

30:30

a house! Michelle Williams

30:33

is a singer, actor and the

30:35

host of Checking In with Michelle Williams. You

30:37

can see her as Viola Von Horn and Death becomes

30:40

her. That's coming to Broadway in October. Michelle Williams, thank

30:42

you so much. The journey

30:44

is a moment of honor. Oh,

30:46

but you didn't have a... I'm

30:48

a one of the owners of the Chicago Star.

30:51

I did. I'm a way

30:53

over. Nobody came here back.

30:56

Get it up on her. In

31:04

just a minute, BDI is a new black

31:06

in our Listener's Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-DOG. Join

31:10

us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of

31:12

Wait, Wait, Don't, Tell Me. From NPR. This

31:27

message comes from NPR's sponsor Shopify. Shopify is

31:29

the global commerce platform that helps you sell

31:31

at every stage of your business. From

31:42

the launch your online shop stage, to the first

31:45

real asset. Shopify

31:47

is the global commerce platform that helps

31:49

you sell at every stage of your

31:51

business. From the launch your online shop

31:54

stage, to the first real-life store stage.

31:56

All the way to the, did we

31:58

just hit a million orders? stage, Shopify

32:00

is there to help you grow. Sell without

32:02

needing to code or design. Just bring your

32:04

best ideas and Shopify will help you open

32:07

up shop. Sign up for a $1

32:10

per month trial period

32:12

at shopify.com/NPR. The

32:14

NPR app cuts through the noise,

32:16

bringing you local, national, and global

32:19

coverage. No paywalls, no profits,

32:22

no nonsense. Download it in your App

32:24

Store today. NPR,

32:34

nobody be easy, Chicago. This is wait,

32:36

wait, don't tell me, the NPR news

32:38

quiz. I'm Bill Curtis playing this

32:40

week with Paula Poundstone, Helen Hong,

32:42

and Alonzo Bowden. And

32:44

here again is your host at the

32:46

Millennium Park in Chicago

32:49

Illinois, Peter Segal. Thank you,

32:51

Bill. It doesn't matter.

32:55

Oh, you like ABBA? Well, get ready for

32:57

some AABBA. And our

32:59

listener limerick challenge. If you'd

33:01

like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's

33:03

1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions

33:06

for you from the week's news. Paula,

33:09

more and more people are coming forward

33:11

this week to admit they don't know

33:13

how to read what? Their

33:17

credit card bill? No. Their

33:19

phone bill? No. You

33:22

want to give me a hand? I was waiting for you to ask. People

33:25

are like, what does the triangle, iron,

33:27

X, iron, hand mean? Oh, the washing

33:29

instructions. Yes, your laundry pad.

33:32

Nobody knows how to read those.

33:34

I've never known how. Nobody knows

33:36

how. What does the triangle mean?

33:38

I don't know. Does

33:40

anyone here know? Don't wash

33:42

your triangles. A huge, elaborate joke that

33:44

they just played on everyone, like we're

33:46

just going to put these symbols on

33:49

here that mean absolutely nothing. According

33:51

to an article in the Sun, many people are

33:54

ruining their clothes because they don't know how to

33:56

decipher the little symbols on the care tags on

33:58

the inside of their clothes. Anybody

34:00

who says they know what the signs mean, they're lying. Oh, I

34:02

can understand it. I can't speak it. You

34:06

know, considering they had to literally

34:09

put a warning on laundry, like,

34:11

do not eat this. Yeah. Symbols

34:14

seem a little advanced for how to

34:16

do laundry, right? I mean,

34:19

they had to tell us not to eat Tide Pods.

34:21

I don't think we're going to be deciphering hieroglyphics on

34:23

how to keep our clothes clean. Originally,

34:25

it was done to

34:27

keep the information about our laundry

34:30

from the Russians. Alonzo,

34:35

you have to be 25 to rent a car, 35 to run for president. Well,

34:38

now there is a particular institution in St. Louis

34:40

you can't get into unless you're 30 years old. What

34:42

is it? Is it

34:44

something that people have been

34:46

doing at younger age? It's something that most people

34:49

do pretty much at every age, and most places

34:51

you do this allow people in of any age.

34:53

I know what it is, and I'm just going

34:55

to give it away. It's a tornado. You can't

34:57

be sucked up in a tornado. That's

34:59

not it. Can you give me another hint? Sure.

35:01

The Mater D will be checking ID. A

35:04

restaurant? A restaurant, yes. This

35:06

restaurant is called Bliss, and

35:09

it claims that banning people under 30 will

35:11

help curate a, quote, grown

35:13

and sexy vibe in their establishment,

35:17

right? Because everybody knows that you can't be sexy

35:19

if you don't remember 9-11. I

35:25

was going to say, if you want to

35:27

experience just older folks eating, just go to

35:29

any restaurant at 4.30. And

35:33

that's when they're there. It would

35:35

be really funny if this place becomes really

35:37

hip and like 25-year-olds are trying to sneak

35:39

in and pretend they're older. Like, yeah, the

35:41

new Fraser totally isn't as good as the

35:43

old one. Paula,

35:46

there's a very popular tourist destination

35:48

in China, and they recently

35:50

upgraded their restrooms by adding

35:53

what to the stalls? Uh,

35:55

adding what to the stalls? Uh... I'll

35:59

pass. No, although

36:02

it is an electronic device. Okay. Think

36:04

of it as a kind of shot clock. Oh,

36:07

like the door springs

36:09

open after 30 seconds? Not

36:11

as, the door doesn't bring open but there is something

36:13

keeping track of what? How long

36:15

you're in there? Yeah, a timer. They've

36:17

added timers on the outside of the

36:20

stall showing everyone how long any person

36:22

has been in there. Oh my god,

36:24

that's book shaming! It is terrible, yeah. That's

36:26

awful! I would never be able to go in there.

36:28

Well, I would never be able to go in the

36:30

new, I believe it's a part of a new movement

36:33

and apparently it's hit Asia already,

36:35

which is competitive peeing. Speed peeing.

36:37

Speed peeing. Get out, get out. I'll

36:41

tell you what, those plots will not be

36:43

in the over 35 restaurant. That's

36:50

true. Coming

36:54

up, it's lightning fell in the blank but first it's a game where you

36:56

have to listen to

37:27

the campaign of towns in Illinois.

37:29

Well, welcome to the show, Cara. Bill

37:31

Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with

37:33

the last word or phrase missing from each. Fill in that

37:35

last word or phrase correctly on just two of the limericks.

37:38

You will be a winner. You ready to play? I

37:41

think so. Oh no, you have to

37:43

know so. Okay, I'm so

37:45

ready. There's the attitude. Here is

37:47

your first limericks. In

37:49

the plane's final row, there's a spare

37:52

chair with no bags, almost

37:54

clothes I will wear there. And

37:57

I also board last. So

38:00

I'm happy to pay basic airfare. Canadian

38:07

Airline WestJet is

38:10

now selling ultra basic airfare. It's perfect

38:12

for people who've seen a cattle truck

38:14

go buy them on the freeway and

38:16

said, hey, that looks comfortable. If

38:19

you buy an ultra basic fare on

38:21

WestJet, you get no carry-on luggage, you

38:23

have to board last and everybody, when

38:25

you do board, boozies. Boo,

38:28

shame, peasant. Are

38:30

we getting to a point with the airlines where

38:33

it's like, what else can you take away? Oxygen.

38:35

I mean, you could... You

38:39

know, it's like the basic airfare,

38:41

not the sub-basic. Like, at some point they're

38:43

going to be like, wow, there's no service

38:45

we can remove. What if we charge them

38:47

and don't let them fly? Yeah. Here

38:51

is your next limit. The

38:53

appeal of these guys is quite

38:55

potent. Like a squirrel,

38:57

they're intense. They exploded.

39:00

They are tense like some rats and

39:03

they're covered in tats. We

39:05

love guys who look just like

39:07

a... rodent.

39:09

Yeah, the internet has declared that

39:12

this summer is all about the hot

39:14

rodent boyfriend. What? Conventional square-jawed

39:16

hunks are out, men who look a little

39:18

bit like rats are in. This

39:21

is great news for hot rodent

39:23

boyfriends like Barry Keegan, Jeremy Allen

39:25

White, and the cast of Challengers,

39:27

who we are told are defined

39:29

by their quote, beady eyes, untidy

39:32

hair and lanky stature. I

39:35

mean, poor Jeremy Allen White spends all that time in

39:37

the gym and he comes out and people are like,

39:39

oh, you got creepy eyes, rat boy.

39:44

Here's your last limit. I'm

39:46

just trying to text, I concur.

39:49

The kids act like I'm wearing sealed

39:51

fur. I don't know what

39:54

to say. A thumbs up

39:56

or okay. I just know

39:58

I can't text the word. Oh

40:02

my god, like what rhymes with concur? You've

40:05

already won, I can just give it to you if you want. Just

40:08

please, put me out of my misery. It's sure,

40:10

and I know it doesn't really rhyme, that's not what we care.

40:12

Sure, the word sure. The Huffington Post

40:15

says the worst text anyone can

40:17

receive is just the word sure.

40:20

Why? Well, people say the

40:23

word sure feels cold or even passive aggressive

40:25

like you might text. They

40:27

say the movie theater is fixed and when they respond

40:29

sure, they might as well be saying,

40:31

I'll meet you in hell. But

40:35

it's also a matter of punctuation because everybody agrees that

40:37

if you say sure with an exclamation point, that's

40:39

great. Hey, I'm enthusiastic to do whatever

40:42

you're saying. When sure with a

40:44

period means you think the person you are

40:46

texting slept with your boyfriend. Yeah, or

40:49

even worse, sure with no

40:51

punctuation whatsoever. We're fighting.

40:54

Really? So you agree with it? Yes.

40:57

Almost as bad as okay. Okay,

41:01

I think this is nonsense. Sure is not

41:03

the worst text. Can I

41:06

call you now? Is the

41:08

worst text followed by funny

41:11

with a period. Texting

41:14

is so stupid. You

41:19

both have already talked

41:21

about misunderstandings with words

41:23

that if we send them on the phone,

41:26

you have to phone in your hand when you're

41:29

texting. Just call. I would

41:32

rather get a

41:35

pass of 10,000 sure and

41:37

okay than ever have to

41:39

actually call someone on the phone ever

41:41

again. We're done for. We're done for as a species. Bill, how

41:43

did Cara do on that trip? Cara, you still win with

41:45

two out of three. Congratulations, Cara. Well done. Thanks

41:47

for playing. Take care. Take care. Thank

41:56

you. This

42:06

message comes from NPR sponsor Bells

42:08

Brewery. Bells have been brewing

42:11

their flagship two-hearted IPA with a devotion

42:13

to craft for nearly 30 years.

42:16

Their standards for the ingredients that

42:18

go into the brew are ridiculously

42:20

high. In fact, when it comes

42:22

to selecting hops, there's no middle

42:25

ground. It's either graded in A-plus

42:27

or, well, they're happy

42:29

to let the other breweries

42:31

use it. Bells Two-Harted IPA.

42:34

Bells Brewery, Comstock, Michigan. Please

42:36

drink responsibly. I'm

42:38

Rachel Martin. After hosting Morning Edition for

42:40

years, I know that the news can wear

42:43

you down. So we made a

42:45

new podcast called Wild Card. We're a special

42:47

deck of cards and a whole bunch of

42:49

fascinating guests. Help us sort out

42:51

what makes life meaningful. It's

42:53

part game show, part existential deep dive, and

42:56

it is seriously fun. Join

42:58

me on Wild Card, wherever you get your

43:00

podcasts. Only from NPR. Here

43:02

at NPR, independence means journalism

43:05

that's never influenced by politics,

43:07

power, or popularity. It's

43:09

reporting for you every day from NPR.

43:18

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.

43:20

Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which

43:22

to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as

43:24

they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill,

43:26

can you give us the scores? Paula

43:28

and Alonzo each have two, and Helen

43:30

has four. Oh my goodness. Oh

43:33

my gosh. All right. Helen is clearly

43:35

in first place. Paula and Alonzo are

43:37

tied for second. Why don't we say

43:39

Alonzo? You go first. Here we go.

43:41

Let's get this out of the way. Absolutely. Here

43:44

we go. Following big wins for

43:46

the far right across Europe, Emmanuel Macron announced

43:48

snap elections in blank. France?

43:51

Yes, this week world leaders met in Italy for the start of the 2024 blank summit.

43:55

Uh, G-47. G-7. I'll

43:57

get it. Yeah, G-7 on Tuesday. Over

44:00

5,000 contract drivers filed

44:02

legal claims against online shopping giant

44:04

Blank. Amazon. Right. This

44:07

week the winner of an AI image contest had to return his prize after

44:09

it was revealed he blanked. Made it

44:11

with AI? No. He was

44:13

supposed to do that. He actually just submitted a real

44:15

photo that he took. On Monday

44:17

experts warned that extreme weather in the

44:19

US may mean that Blank will run

44:22

out of funding before the year's end.

44:25

FEMA? Right. Taylor Swift announced

44:27

she would end her record-breaking Blank tour

44:30

in December. Eros. Eros

44:32

to her. Eros is close enough. Eros is close enough.

44:35

After weeks of being terrorized by a

44:37

12-foot crocodile, officials in an Australian town

44:40

captured it and then blanked. Made it?

44:43

Yes, they did. Wow. At a

44:45

big party for the town. The

44:48

police say the crocodile was quote, the bug for the

44:50

feast in the traditional manner, wrapping the pieces of banana

44:52

leaves, cooking it on a barbecue and eating it light

44:54

in front of all the other crocodiles to make sure

44:56

they got the message. Bill, how did

44:58

Alonzo do in our quiz? Very well. Six

45:01

right. Twelve more points. Fourteen puts

45:03

you in the lead. All right. So

45:07

that means Paula, you are up next. Please fill

45:09

in the blank. On Tuesday a jury found

45:11

Blank guilty on all three counts of felony gun

45:14

charges. Honk. Honk. Honk.

45:17

Right on Monday an FDA panel endorsed Eli Lilly's early

45:19

stage drug for Blank. Oh. A

45:21

new COVID variant? No. Alzheimer's.

45:24

This week several employees in SpaceX sued

45:26

the company and its CEO Blank for

45:28

gender discrimination and sexual harassment. Eli, my

45:30

friend. Right. Following days of

45:32

torrential rain, Governor Ron DeSantis declared a state

45:34

of emergency in Blank. Florida. Right.

45:37

This week a pedestrian in Texas was struck by a police car, so the officers got out and

45:39

Blanked. Uh, shut it. No. I

45:43

guess this is good news. They gave her a

45:45

ticket for jaywalking. According to a

45:47

new study, having previous Blank infections

45:50

may help protect from certain colds.

45:55

On Tuesday fans were shocked when WNBA star Blank was

45:57

excluded from the U.S. Olympic Games. teams

46:00

rosters. K. Rifak. Right. This

46:03

week, scientists think they've discovered the reason orcas are

46:05

sinking boats off the coast of Spain is because they

46:07

are blind. Looking for Supreme

46:09

Court justices. No. Well,

46:13

that is a good bet you can find one. Look

46:15

at the yacht. No,

46:17

because they're bored. Essentially

46:19

scientists think that the reason orcas are bonking into

46:21

boats and sinking them is because they're all just

46:23

a bunch of bored, teenage orcas. Now

46:26

scientists are suggesting a better way to keep

46:28

teen orcas entertained. Introduce

46:30

them to drugs. Bill,

46:33

how did Paula do in our quiz? Five

46:35

right. Ten more points.

46:38

Twelve means she's trailing a

46:40

lonesome like this. Alright. How

46:42

many then does Helen need

46:44

to win? Five to die. Six to

46:47

win. Here we go. Helen, this is

46:49

for the game. On Thursday, the Supreme

46:51

Court rejected an attempt to restrict the

46:53

blank pill. Abortion pill. Yes,

46:55

for the first time since his conviction blank

46:57

met with GOP lawmakers in Washington. Yes. Yes,

47:00

this week the UN Security Council adopted

47:02

a resolution calling for a permanent ceasefire

47:04

in blank. Right. On

47:06

Tuesday, the White House proposed a plan to ban blank debt

47:08

from appearing on credit reports. Medical.

47:12

Yes, medical debt. This week a school board

47:14

in Florida voted to ban a children's book

47:16

called blank. The

47:19

book ban, the child

47:22

book ban book. You are exactly right.

47:24

It's called Ban This Book and it's about children

47:26

about book banning. Oh my God, I guessed

47:28

it. On Wednesday, ship

47:30

wreck divers found the wreckage of

47:32

Polar Explorer blank's last ship. Oh,

47:36

the guy who went to Antarctica. Yes,

47:39

but his name would be? The

47:41

guy who had, they had to eat the dog. You

47:45

know a lot about him, but his

47:47

name, Shackleton. Yeah. Shackleton.

47:49

Again, a member of the K-pop group blank

47:52

completed his mandatory military service. Oh,

47:54

BTS? Yes, a Vermont state representative

47:57

is in trouble after being caught on camera

47:59

blanking to the occasion. Caught

48:01

on camera, last dancing to sleep

48:04

boxes. No, nothing that bad.

48:06

Pouring cups of water into another representative's tote

48:09

bag. Representative

48:11

Jim Carroll was confused. Every time he got to

48:14

the office, his tote bag and the hook outside

48:16

his office went in and came out, he found

48:18

it soaking wet. What's going on? So

48:20

he put up a camera and on two

48:23

different occasions, they found this other lawmaker wet

48:25

bagging him. No! Pouring

48:28

water into his tote bag, walking alone. So,

48:30

did I just invent the term wet

48:32

bagging? Yes, we did. That is so

48:35

diabolical. Isn't it awful? It's awful. That's

48:38

someone who would write short on his hat.

48:42

I don't think it's that bad. Mel,

48:46

did Helen do well enough to

48:49

win? She had six rights, twelve

48:51

more points. With the other points,

48:53

she's accumulated. She has sixteen and

48:55

the win. There's Helen Hawn,

48:57

everybody! Taking

49:00

it home. In

49:06

just a minute, we're going to ask our

49:08

panelists to predict, now that he's been kicked

49:10

out of Nathan's hot dog eating contest, what

49:13

will be Joey Chestnut's next career move? Wait,

49:15

wait, don't tell me. He's a production of

49:17

NPR and WVEC Chicago, in association with Urgent

49:19

Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, The Neville and Overlord.

49:21

Philip Gotica writes our limericks, our public address

49:24

announcers, Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shayna

49:26

Domel, thanks to the staff and crew. At

49:28

the Jane Pritzker Pavilion at Chicago's Millennium Park.

49:30

B.J. Zimmerman, composed our

49:33

CMI program with producer Jennifer Mills,

49:35

Miles Rombas, and Lillian King. Peter

49:38

Quinn is our suspected web packer. Emory Choi is

49:40

our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White

49:42

with a big thanks to this week. Once

49:48

again to Gary Yack, our CFO with Colin Miller,

49:50

our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer

49:52

is Ian Chilock and the executive producer, wait, wait,

49:54

don't tell me, is Michael Van Ford. Now

49:57

panel, what will competitive eating place Joey Chestnut's next

49:59

career move? The next Helen Hong. Vegan

50:02

PR. See, vegans can

50:04

be disgusting overeaters too.

50:07

Alonzo Bowden. He'll be the new spokesman

50:09

for the weight loss drug, Wigobi. And

50:13

Paula Poundstone. He's gonna drive the

50:15

Wienermobile. And

50:19

if any of that happens, panel will ask

50:21

you about it on Weight. Wait, don't tell

50:24

me. Thank you Bill Curtis.

50:26

Thanks also to Helen Hong, Alonzo Bowden

50:28

and Paula Poundstone. Special thanks to Donna

50:30

LaPietra and the Chicago Free For All

50:32

Fund. Thanks to everybody at our old

50:34

friend WBEZ. And everybody here who came

50:37

out to see us here

50:39

in this magnificent park in downtown Chicago. And

50:41

thanks to all of you for listening at

50:43

home or wherever you may be. I'm Peter

50:45

Sagan. We'll see you next week. This

51:03

is NPR. This

51:05

message comes from NPR sponsor

51:07

Capital One. Capital One offers

51:09

checking accounts with no fees

51:11

or minimums and no overdraft

51:13

fees. That's banking reimagined. What's

51:15

in your wallet? Terms apply.

51:18

See capitalone.com/bank. Capital

51:20

One N.A. Member FDIC.

51:24

This message comes from NPR

51:26

sponsor MassMutual. The Financial Educators

51:28

Council says 39% of

51:31

Americans don't have someone to go to for financial

51:33

advice. But you can

51:35

plan for the short and long term with

51:38

someone backed by 170 years

51:40

of financial expertise at

51:43

massmutual.com. David

51:45

Lynch's films explore dark themes. But

51:48

in a rare interview on Wildcard this week,

51:50

he says he's remarkably content and you

51:53

can be too. We're supposed

51:55

to be like little dogs with our tail

51:57

wagging and being happy. Little smiles on our

51:59

face all day. This is

52:01

the way it's supposed to be. I'm Rachel Martin. Join

52:03

us on NPR's Wild Card Podcast,

52:05

the game where cards control the

52:08

conversation.