0:07

I got to s Yeah,

0:13

yeah, yeah, welcome.

0:17

We know his parenting. I'm Peter McCarney, Beth

0:19

Nowel, We're in it. We're doing

0:21

it episode Wow.

0:24

Can you believe that we're almost to a hundred? Can

0:27

you believe? Hundred weeks?

0:30

So, like the rest of you, where um

0:34

still in coronavirus lockdown, we

0:39

are hearts are going out to those of you

0:41

who are in essential workforces

0:44

and in

0:47

New York City and areas that are being

0:50

very affected right now. Um,

0:53

we are still riding this out

0:56

in Massachusetts. We're

0:59

boy, We're mostly doing good. It's

1:01

been a little bit of a bumpy ride here.

1:05

Um, but yes, relatively we're

1:07

great, um compared

1:09

to people who are really struggling.

1:11

But yeah, we're very lucky. But we're also

1:14

having to deal with each other. That being

1:16

said, we have our own challenges.

1:19

What are some of yours this week? Elizabeth?

1:23

Um, it's just trying

1:25

to carve out space and time to be

1:27

alone and away from you all is

1:29

my number one concern. That

1:32

and my allergy situation. How

1:34

are they compared to last week? Better

1:37

than last week? But it's still like it

1:40

feels like in terms of keeping

1:42

the kids away from me, it feels like there's

1:45

like a strong effort

1:48

early in the week, and then as the

1:50

week goes on, it's kind of like our

1:52

regular weeks where everything just slowly starts

1:54

to fall apart and the kids become more tired

1:57

and everyone's trying, like it becomes sort

1:59

of every man for himself and it

2:02

devolves and

2:05

it's not fun by the end. The end

2:07

of the week fell apart in terms of our rules.

2:09

But today boy being back

2:11

on track and being very clear about who's

2:13

in charge of what when, Yeah,

2:16

better. It feels like it feels good

2:18

for it to be a Monday and be like, Okay, we're hunkering

2:20

down, and it kind of feels good to be the weekend when we're

2:22

like, okay, we're not really going to try

2:24

to work that hard, and then everyone's

2:26

like a little bit more relaxed. Um.

2:29

But Friday, when you're almost

2:31

there, Yeah, Friday,

2:33

it was hard because you're kind of like neither here nor

2:35

there, Like the kids are too tired to actually

2:39

uh do anything productive or

2:41

be left alone, and then like

2:44

our efforts to get work done are increasingly

2:47

futile and we really should already be throwing

2:49

in the towel we should, except

2:51

today they got a lot

2:53

of education. Today. Daddy school

2:56

was back in full swing, and

2:58

I I saw the

3:00

Brent's teacher has been sending At the beginning,

3:03

I think every educator was

3:06

suddenly wildly trying to figure out

3:08

how to do their job digitally, and especially

3:12

were a kindergarten teacher, Like what the hell

3:14

do you do? So I

3:16

feel like the the resources

3:19

she was sending our way were a little hodgepodge

3:21

and weird, and I would just ignore them

3:24

because I was The emails that Brent's teacher

3:26

were sending were so frequent that I just

3:28

couldn't even like catch up to read

3:32

the first or second email. And then I

3:34

was just like, you know what, I don't read

3:36

these emails. So I emailed

3:38

her and I gave her up because she uh

3:41

is great, and she she reached out to us

3:43

individually, as I assumed she did with all the

3:45

kids. She's like, how's it going? And

3:48

I explained, I was honest. I was

3:50

like, we're not really following what you're sending us, but

3:52

here's what we're doing. It's a lot of stuff, and

3:54

she's like, that's fabulous, don't worry about it.

3:57

So that took a

3:59

load off. But then today actually

4:02

went in and started reading her notes and

4:04

she has this, uh this

4:07

online resource there. She signed up her

4:09

class for like these reading challenges.

4:12

And I ignored it at first because I'm like, Brin is

4:14

a great reader and he's reading all the books here. But

4:16

I opened it today and it's a very

4:19

simple you

4:21

know, Brin, here's like twenty

4:24

books. Um, They're very

4:26

simple, and he clicks on the button to

4:28

read them, and he reads the book and

4:30

then he takes a quiz about it. And

4:33

uh, we started actually open this up

4:35

and logged in and created his account and started

4:37

doing it, and I was shocked at

4:40

how into it he was. He read

4:42

like twenty books in a row, and

4:45

I was like, this is great. And then I was like, let's take a break,

4:47

because then you you get points

4:50

and you build up all these like stars, and

4:53

then you can take the stars and go into a

4:55

spaceship and build your little

4:57

special spaceship room where you can buy ro about

5:00

the aliens. And this immediately

5:02

destroyed the whole thing, because

5:05

as soon as brain realized he could spend

5:07

these stars on cool things, he

5:09

rushed back to the books and

5:11

started reading them too fast, and

5:14

that then he started he had a perfect score for

5:16

like twenty books, and then the next

5:18

three he started getting questions wrong

5:22

because he would just want to get the stars

5:24

and he'd rush back to like buy an alien,

5:27

and he got so mad when he missed a

5:29

question, and I'm like, you're overloaded,

5:31

man, you gotta take a break because you're not remembering

5:34

anything from the books because you've just read now thirty

5:36

books, and so he's

5:38

got a lot of points. But I'm like, this incentive

5:40

was all wrong. I should have left alone when

5:43

when the incentive was just reading.

5:46

Yeah, it's hard enough to fall in

5:48

those traps when you're doing homeschool

5:51

and just like you say something offhand and

5:53

then suddenly it like derails the whole

5:56

day. That

5:58

that is I think my big suggestion

6:02

for parents trying

6:04

to do any sort of homeschooling. Schedules

6:07

are great, you know if you can get them to

6:09

work, but ultimately,

6:12

desire drives learning. So

6:14

if your kids attention and

6:17

excitement is pointed in a

6:19

direction that is in any way

6:21

productive or educational, don't

6:24

try to don't try to push,

6:27

take a hard right turn into something else. Ride

6:30

that wave and just say they're

6:32

into this right now let's just get everything

6:34

educational out of it we can, and if it means

6:36

four days of complicated

6:40

additions, which

6:42

it was for Britain, for

6:44

our kids, I think

6:47

this advice is pretty applicable for our kids

6:49

who are three and five years old. I feel

6:51

like for other people, like for

6:53

us, the learning resources seem kind of like

6:55

a waste of time because it's like very time consuming

6:58

to look up the resources and figure

7:00

them out, and it's just it's like for a five

7:02

year old, so it's not like it's like we could

7:04

challenge them on our own. If our kids were older, though,

7:07

I do think I would be like, what is

7:11

common core math? How

7:13

does life work? Like? I would

7:15

need more help, And I do think

7:18

like kids at those ages might want to be

7:20

stimulated in ways that I could not

7:22

directly provide. I would.

7:24

I think in some ways I would love it because

7:27

I think the common core, like what you

7:29

need to figure out is a

7:33

little more tangible. Well, this is what

7:35

I like about Daddy's school being more

7:37

structured, is that you love to

7:40

set the rules and be the leader.

7:43

And I

7:46

don't. I don't

7:48

enjoy like repeating things like I

7:50

just don't like I want to be

7:52

doing something new and interesting. So

7:55

like mommy school tends to be more free form,

7:58

and we take a walk on the beach

8:00

in the afternoon, like like these kids

8:02

need to get outside. Sometimes

8:04

mommy school is like a task that allows

8:06

mommy to clean the kitchen. Sometimes

8:08

mommy school is a walk and

8:11

that's what. We had a really good walk today and they

8:13

were like playing and like we

8:15

were on this adventure. And then we drew

8:18

a square door in the sand

8:21

and we jumped into it into like

8:23

a different world, and then like

8:25

they were loving it. So it was like it's very

8:28

Jacqueline West Books of Elsewhere. Yeah,

8:30

well then we when we were

8:33

jumped through the sand one on one

8:35

of the times, burn was like we're in a book.

8:38

And then they just kept saying that over and over again.

8:40

They were like, we're in a book. There.

8:44

Their make believe is getting like

8:47

Narnia level, you

8:49

know, like the kids that in the Lion, the Witch

8:52

and Wardrobe are in this giant empty house

8:54

and so they just explore and

8:57

create their own world. To I feel like there

9:00

are in that mode, and they're starting to have like call

9:02

backs, like they're always like okay,

9:04

your winkle, I'm tinkle and

9:07

your ankle like they have, like

9:10

go to characters. Can we talk

9:12

about the fake mustaches? I

9:15

don't know where they got this. They just started. They just walked

9:17

into the room when I was there. They're both holding

9:20

we're holding fingers up to their mouths as

9:22

fake mustaches in

9:24

disguise, and they

9:27

Brin said, I'm Mr Rogers and this is

9:29

Mrs Rogers and I

9:31

love Um.

9:35

Somebody pointed out on Instagram that

9:37

Mrs Rogers has a

9:39

mustache as well. Yeah, that's my

9:41

favorite, really rather inconspicuous.

9:44

And then I said where

9:47

are my children? And Prince said they

9:49

what did you say? They went on a hike and they're

9:52

never coming back. If

9:55

they win the woods and they're never

9:57

come back, you'll never see them again. Um.

10:00

So there's mommy school and there's Daddy

10:02

School, but periodically there's also Ali

10:05

School. Yeah. Today my

10:07

sister had a really good homeschool session

10:09

with them. So she I

10:12

told her. I was like, you should teach them civics and

10:14

she did. Boy did she teach them

10:16

civics. So she, my

10:18

sister with along with Brendan Mayven,

10:21

created a household

10:23

government for us with a

10:25

constitution with different branches of government.

10:27

So there's the legislative branch,

10:29

which is composed of the five of us

10:32

in the House, and then the

10:35

judicial branch, which is my

10:37

parents, well your parents and my brothers

10:40

and your brothers, and the executive branch, which

10:42

is your parents because they own this house

10:44

that work currently in. Yes. And

10:48

then so then my sister wrote

10:50

some bills with my with Brenna Maven.

10:53

Each of them had a bill that they sponsored, and

10:56

some of them medic sponsors. So,

10:58

for example, one of the bills brands said,

11:01

there's a little bill he wrote that says

11:03

if someone else butt slap, then everyone

11:06

has to slap their butts ten times.

11:09

They don't, they go to prison forever.

11:11

If they go to prison forever. So that bill

11:13

did not pass. I think a lot of us felt that. Actually,

11:16

Ali wrote a bill if someone says

11:18

jumping Jack's, do you have to tend juppy Jack's

11:21

if you don't go to prison forever. That

11:23

was voted down. That was voted down. The slap

11:26

butt slap was passed. Yeah, that was

11:28

a three to five vote.

11:29

And then

11:32

Maybn historically

11:35

her bill passed unanimously, which

11:37

was a bill that said everybody

11:40

should have a brain. Everyone is supposed

11:42

to have a brain. Everyone is supposed to

11:44

have a brain. That's the full text of the bill. Yeah,

11:46

not unclear what the penalties are or

11:50

I don't think that is interpreted, but doesn't

11:52

say you must so you're supposed

11:54

to. So that bill passed unanimously,

11:56

and then it went to the executive branch on

11:59

a zoom conference with all

12:01

three branches of government. Nana

12:04

and granddad and grandma and grandpa. You're

12:08

dad and my dad both had some good singers on

12:10

the call. They were in there their element.

12:12

Yeah, when we said, we said the ten butt

12:15

slabs rule when someone else but slab, and

12:17

my dad said, isn't everyone already doing that? And

12:20

then your dad had one

12:22

about uh,

12:27

the executive branch, I don't know something about

12:29

legislative branch not having brains.

12:33

So they signed into law the

12:35

butt slap law. The executive

12:37

branch signed it. They vetoed

12:40

the everyone is supposed to have a brain. I

12:44

think on solid grounds it was wishwashy

12:46

could be interpreted too loosely, you

12:48

would have a legal challenge. So they vetoed

12:50

it, but it was unanimous to vote, so

12:52

we overturned the veto and

12:56

UH, so we have two new laws. Yeah,

12:58

and then at the of the call with

13:01

them branded yell butt

13:03

slap um, and then he did not slap

13:05

his own butt, so he was taken to court.

13:08

Um. And he argued that

13:10

as the person who yells but slap, he doesn't have

13:13

to slap his own But he had a pretty good argument.

13:15

The law said that when anybody

13:18

says butt slap, you

13:21

have to slap your butt ten times. So there

13:23

was an implied sense of other in

13:26

it. Um. But the judicial branch

13:28

said they needed six months to deliberate.

13:32

It's tied up in court. My sister is going to work on them

13:34

to write some more specific laws

13:36

going forward to account for these

13:38

kind of issues and interpretation

13:41

of the law. Um.

13:44

Can we talk about how much ice cream we've eaten? We've

13:47

eaten a lot of everything lately, a

13:49

lot of home cooked meals. Um,

13:53

some really really good recipes,

13:55

I would say, really good

13:57

improvised recipes. Um.

14:01

I gotta say, I love I love how much we're

14:03

eating, just immediately eating all the leftovers.

14:07

I feel like at home we waste so much food,

14:09

but here we're like, we don't want to go to the grocery store.

14:13

Pandemic and so we're

14:15

like, Alie just made a

14:17

a taco salad from our from

14:21

our tacos. The other night, I made

14:23

a tortilla cast role from our

14:25

tacos. That was three meals from that Taco

14:27

night. Yeah, Taco Night

14:30

is really prolific versatile.

14:35

Um,

14:37

oh boy, we're really We're

14:40

really isolated out here, aren't we? Are

14:43

we? Yeah? I suddenly,

14:45

just five seconds ago felt in just

14:49

talking to you know, thousands

14:51

of people who

14:54

aren't here. It was a weird

14:56

moment of oh my god, we

14:59

are alone. And I'm sure a

15:01

lot of people are feeling that right

15:03

now, especially people who are literally

15:05

alone. I've got a good number

15:08

of friends in apartments

15:11

that are literally alone. My brother is literally

15:13

alone. It's tough out

15:15

there. I'm I am really

15:18

you know. I don't want to be too dark

15:20

on the podcast, but I am getting increasingly

15:23

worried for an increasing

15:25

number of people. Um.

15:27

So I hope everyone listening is doing

15:29

okay mentally

15:31

and physically. And I

15:34

gotta say, I really am enjoying.

15:36

I'm online

15:39

and on social media more than I then

15:42

I normally would want to

15:44

be. Um,

15:47

but it feels like a

15:49

lot of time there is a nice balance of boy,

15:51

we're taking this, at least in my like sphere,

15:54

in my bubble, people obviously

15:56

taking this very seriously, but

15:58

there's also a nice

16:00

balance of well and then

16:03

beyond that, let's

16:05

be positive and let's be here for each

16:07

other and let's let's find healthy

16:09

diversion um

16:11

and again like that's great,

16:14

prepared and positive. I

16:17

feel like I feel that way when

16:19

I interact with people directly, like

16:21

if I have a Zoom happy

16:23

hour with my old improv team,

16:25

or like when I'm texting my close

16:27

friends, or like my

16:30

coworkers if we're on Slack

16:33

or whatever. I feel that way. But when I go

16:35

on social media, it's like very

16:38

overwhelming between the news

16:41

and then people's anger about the news,

16:43

and very understandably, it's just

16:46

really overwhelming,

16:48

and I do it's I think it's just really hard

16:50

to find a balance of like taking this seriously

16:52

and trying to be somewhat informed and also

16:55

making sure that you're taking care of yourself

16:58

and you're like not making

17:00

yourself crazy for no reason, because I think

17:02

for a lot of us, we're not, you

17:04

know, healthcare workers. There's not a

17:07

lot we can do day to day, and I don't

17:09

think it's like helpful for anyone

17:11

for us to make ourselves crazy about it.

17:13

Yeah, completely adjust what I what

17:15

I said. That's not general social

17:18

media. I go to my Facebook news

17:20

feed and it's oh

17:23

miserable. But these targeted,

17:25

specific online communities,

17:28

you know, like I talked to all the Story Parts

17:30

company members and it's it's

17:32

a it's a specific and positive

17:35

focused group or like a Zoom

17:37

zoom hang out with people, uh

17:40

for sure. Yeah, but going down the social

17:43

media drain in general is the opposite

17:45

of that. Even though I made it sound like

17:47

that's what I was having. Well, I mean there's some good

17:49

things on social media. I don't think it's all bad,

17:51

and I think a lot of people are just reporting the facts

17:54

as they should. But it's just like

17:57

I do feel like you really have to monitor your

18:00

media intake in general right now. Yeah,

18:02

it's just how curated are your feeds?

18:05

You know, I've got my Facebook feed is

18:07

is the wild West, and so I don't touch it

18:10

because it's thousands of people that I don't really

18:12

know, and so I'm stressed for no reason. Whereas

18:14

my Instagram is nice and tidy and

18:17

focused and shallow in the

18:19

number of shallow in that

18:22

in that your shallow. I

18:24

mute almost everybody so that I not

18:26

because I don't want to know what's up with people, but

18:28

so that I run out of stuff to look at quickly.

18:31

And that's what that's what maintains my sanity.

18:33

And then every once in a while I go through and I'll un

18:36

mute people I miss, and I'll re mute

18:39

people that I've seen a lot of. I

18:42

do think since we've been here, I've I

18:45

have I've never looked at social media less

18:48

over such an extended period of time done

18:51

it. I mean, I still

18:53

feel crazy because it's like proportionately it's still

18:56

sort of crazy online, but I don't like

18:58

because I'm with the kids and I can't really look

19:01

at it. And then when I'm working, I really need to focus

19:03

on work because the news is so

19:05

distracting, Like I just can't

19:07

be on it as often, like just browsing

19:10

things. It's too taxing right

19:12

now. It's like it's just too emotionally exhausting

19:14

to hear how badly

19:17

everyone is doing um, And

19:20

so yeah, I just

19:22

can't and I think it's

19:25

I feel good about

19:28

trying to limit it to some degree. I

19:30

still feel like I need to check in and not

19:33

like completely become a hermit um.

19:36

But our job right now is as as

19:38

global citizens, is

19:40

to like not jump the gun on anything,

19:43

hunker down and literally get out of the way. And

19:45

there's and if I get

19:47

too far into it that I get that sense

19:49

of like I should be doing something

19:52

that's the in for the

19:54

the most for the most part, that's the opposite.

19:57

Well, I just I just want to be aware of what's

19:59

happening two people in our home

20:01

city of New York, where people are really suffering,

20:04

Like I want to be tuned into the conversation and like,

20:06

no, what's up? And um,

20:09

you know, it's getting dangerous for people we know.

20:11

And but I do think like

20:14

our primary objective right now as parents

20:17

is to take care of ourselves so that

20:19

our children don't remember

20:21

this as like a scary, traumatizing

20:23

time where their parents were upset all

20:25

the time. You know, Yeah, no,

20:27

and I don't. I think they're having a great

20:29

time. I did have my first

20:32

like serious talk serio quote unquote serious,

20:35

not serious, but very upfront

20:38

talk with him about what was going on, because

20:40

I took him to the dump. So here

20:42

there's no garbage collection where we are, so

20:45

we have to go to the dump or

20:47

the the the transfer center

20:49

and recycling center, and uh

20:52

so I took Bryn. Obviously, I was like

20:54

you have to stay in the car and he's

20:56

like why. I'm like, well, we're all staying

20:58

away from each other right now. And then that

21:00

led to along

21:03

conversation about all this, and that was the most like

21:05

here's literally what's going on. Here's

21:07

how dangerous it dangerous it is.

21:10

We talked about people dying, and

21:12

but I also let him know that he's you know, he's

21:15

safe, he's low risk. And he had a

21:17

lot of very thoughtful questions. He also told me,

21:19

he goes, well, it's happening because um

21:22

because Chinese people ate bats,

21:25

right, And I was like what. And

21:28

then you know, it's like they

21:31

don't really know what the source of this

21:33

was, but it could be from like people

21:36

think, from animals and initiating in China,

21:38

or bats or panguins or whatever. And

21:41

I was like starting to get into the like, well, you

21:43

don't want to just start saying Chinese

21:45

people eat bats. That's

21:48

you know, trying to get into racial

21:51

sensitivities. And I was like, is this this is too

21:53

complex? I feel like at his age

21:55

sometimes you're better off changing the conversation

21:58

rather than like creating an elaborate story

22:00

around Chinese

22:02

people in bats that he's going to continue

22:04

to misinterpret. Yes, it's like

22:07

I was like, well, we they we don't know what

22:10

happened. He was like, my friend told me there's

22:12

Chinese people eating bats. And I was like, well,

22:15

we don't know. And maybe somebody

22:17

did, but obviously not

22:20

all Chinese people are eating bats. And

22:23

I was like, let's let's talk about statistics

22:26

instead. Let's

22:28

talk about statistics.

22:31

I really was. I was like, listen, five year old

22:34

son, let's talk about statistics. I talk about

22:36

death rates instead of uh,

22:38

you're talking about death rates. Not

22:41

not really. I mean I did talk about how

22:43

it's dangerous for certain people. He

22:47

was very thoughtful. He's not scared, but

22:49

he could sense. He could sense

22:51

the gravity of the situation. What

22:56

are we gonna do for episode one? I

23:00

don't know. Listeners right in and tell

23:02

us how should we celebrate in

23:05

uh here at the end times um,

23:08

And that's been our week. This

23:22

next segment is called Listeners Want to Know. It's

23:24

where we take questions comments from you guys. But

23:26

first I'm going to adjust my chair loudly.

23:31

I wasn't as loud as I thought it was going to be. Oh

23:34

boy, okay, we got a lot of listener mail.

23:37

You are all at home, you

23:39

have thoughts, you have time, and so you

23:41

are sharing. Thank you. UM.

23:44

I think we're actually we're definitely

23:46

going to be in an era where we can't

23:48

get to as many emails as we'd like to, and

23:53

an era we're getting more than

23:56

the normal, which is great.

23:58

Please keep sharing even if we don't we don't get

24:00

your um.

24:05

Great alright, So this email comes with from Craig

24:08

question colon behavior

24:13

um. This to me feels

24:15

like ah,

24:17

this is a British or maybe Canadian

24:20

spelling of behavior b E H

24:22

A v I O. You are

24:25

behavior um.

24:28

Not a criticism, just an observation. So

24:31

I have a five year old girl, a two year

24:33

old girl and a week old boy.

24:36

Well, with these times

24:38

of physical distancing, we are spending a

24:40

lot of time in a smallish apartment together.

24:43

My question is what do you guys do

24:45

when your kid zero is in on a behavior

24:48

and won't stop nor listening,

24:51

nor listen to interruptions

24:53

or change requests. My

24:56

two year old has so many ideas in her head

24:58

but often will not accept any deviation

25:01

or distraction from those she

25:03

focuses on in a moment, such as stealing

25:06

the one book the five year old is

25:08

trying to read, even though they

25:10

are hundreds there are hundreds of books around.

25:13

The two year old will retry after separation

25:16

or break down into tantum rather than perform

25:18

a different task with either parent. The

25:21

five year old will ask the same question to

25:23

the same thing over and over, regardless

25:25

of what you just told her two minutes ago, even

25:27

if it was yes, but

25:30

wait five minutes. I'm struggling

25:32

with being able to break into my kid's

25:34

head during these moments, and find myself

25:37

getting frustrated. Any

25:39

suggestions are at least similar stories to

25:41

share us. I don't feel like the only parent

25:43

feeling like this. I've read some articles,

25:45

but they seem focused on what not to do, which

25:48

I can already check most

25:50

of the list, and esoteric

25:52

suggestions on what to strive for without

25:54

ideas of actual things I could attempt.

25:57

Love the show and quite enjoyed Beth's

25:59

book As a Man as

26:02

a Man, as it candidly let me further into

26:04

a world I will never experience myself.

26:07

Love Craig he didn't say love, but

26:10

it is Craig. Thank you

26:12

Craig. To answer your

26:14

question, no, you're the only one. No one else

26:16

has ever experienced any of those things.

26:18

Just kidding. Only your kids

26:21

are difficult. Boy. I related

26:23

to everything you just said. I started to

26:25

formulate an answer to what he

26:27

was saying, and then he mentioned that one of

26:29

the kids is two years old. And then I was like, oh,

26:32

never mind, I don't think there's anything.

26:34

There's no hope. You're

26:36

living with an insane person. Um,

26:40

I don't. Yeah, the two year old,

26:43

we fall into the traps two and

26:47

most of three, I

26:49

feel like we fall into the trap of

26:52

thinking they are more mature

26:54

than they are, especially with the

26:56

second kid. Like today,

26:58

Maven was doing so like she was writing

27:00

her letters and she was trying. She was asking

27:03

me how to spell words, and she was writing

27:05

the words backwards, and

27:07

I had such an urge to be like, that's wrong.

27:09

You need like you need to write in this direction. And then

27:12

I remember that Brin, who was like almost

27:14

two years older than her, I was

27:16

probably doing the same thing like a few

27:18

weeks ago, you know, like I just like

27:21

I was like, I just you like expect

27:23

so much of the Brinn wrote the

27:25

end in his name backwards for a year

27:28

because I pushed to

27:31

correct him, and then he was like, fuck

27:33

you, I'm doing it this way forever.

27:35

Yeah. I think unfortunately with some of this stuff,

27:37

I like, depending on the behavior, obviously,

27:40

if it's like hitting or something, you have to have kind

27:42

of harsh, consistent

27:44

punishments. But um

27:47

with other stuff, I do think, like when it's

27:49

just like them arbitrary, like like picking

27:51

an argument or re asking a

27:53

question, I think the best thing you can do is like try

27:56

to convince yourself that you don't care at

27:58

all. But it

28:02

just saying stop does

28:05

not work. I mean with Bryn,

28:08

who's nearing six, it's

28:11

sometimes that is starting to work,

28:13

where I just say don't

28:16

brand stop, or it's

28:18

the brand stop, or there's no ice cream.

28:20

I'm going to counter three and like you can stop

28:23

him that way. But any

28:25

younger and it's it's the

28:27

only time I'm successful is

28:29

when I'm able to redirect.

28:32

But I don't know, I think we have pretty

28:35

stubborn kids. I'm not saying other kids

28:37

people's kids are like easy all the time, but I do

28:39

think like there's different demeanors

28:41

and children where some people have, like a

28:44

kid who follows directions. I

28:46

mean, at the times I'm successful. Is

28:48

the story Pirates model, which

28:50

is, you know, when we're in a school and we're trying to get

28:52

the attention of six screaming

28:54

excited kids, we don't ever

28:58

try to stop it. It's

29:00

uh, the job is to always be more

29:02

interesting than the thing they're interested

29:04

in right now that's distracting them.

29:07

So like the only time I've ever able

29:09

to get maybe to calm down is like one don't

29:11

get it in her way. She's upset,

29:13

and I can tell that she's upset, so

29:16

I need to let her calm down. And then when I come

29:18

in, I'll just I just start

29:20

looking at something across the room, Like

29:22

I'm like, was there a spider in the corner. I don't

29:24

know about you may even, but I'm ast afraid of spiders.

29:26

I'm gonna go check. And then I'll fall down and

29:29

pretend to hurt myself, and then she'll start

29:31

laughing, and I'll do that ten more times

29:33

until I know that she's truly forgotten what that

29:35

first thing is. I also sometimes if they're

29:37

arguing over something arbitrary lately,

29:39

I'll just try to like talk

29:42

about something more interesting or exciting

29:44

that they want. Yeah it

29:47

is. I mean it's you

29:51

if I can trick them into thinking I have

29:53

completely not heard anything

29:55

that they're complaining about, and

29:58

then I'm like, oh my god, I

30:00

think there's a horshoe crab outside. I'm gonna go. Look,

30:04

they'll follow you. But if you're

30:06

like, guys, stop fighting, you know what we should

30:08

do, Let's do something else. They know that you're

30:10

trying to redirect them and it doesn't

30:12

work as well. But I just like ignore

30:15

them and then redirected, and

30:17

again, this is like my my batting average

30:19

is probably i'll

30:22

say somewhat related. Something I'm

30:24

realizing in the age of coronavirus

30:27

is that I need to wear

30:29

headphones more often when I'm

30:31

trying to do anything or work or

30:33

just like not feel insane because there's

30:35

always so much noise

30:38

and like arguing happening about like

30:40

things that I don't need to be interested in,

30:43

Like I don't need to care about the outcome

30:45

of like who's allowed to read the book? You

30:48

know. So it's like I

30:50

really need to find some new coping

30:53

mechanisms to like not be tuned in.

30:56

I'll tell you my mind, is AirPods

30:59

bro those

31:01

noise cancelation you

31:04

have it? Does? It was expensive? It's

31:06

expensive. I paid for it

31:09

quality purchase. I

31:11

think regular headphones are also

31:13

equally good. Hey,

31:16

I'm not I'm not dissing anyone else's headphones.

31:19

I'm just a love in mind. Right now, a

31:22

lot of people will probably be purchasing noise

31:24

canceling headphones in the near future.

31:27

People are purchasing a lot of things. Read

31:30

some just a headline where

31:32

it's like Walmart or some online

31:35

retailer is selling disproportionately

31:39

far more shirts right

31:41

now than pants

31:43

because everyone's going to work on Zoom,

31:46

Yeah, and they just need

31:48

shirt. Well. I also say I read somewhere

31:50

that like delivery people are

31:53

operating at like Christmas time

31:55

level of purchases,

31:57

so they're like working a lot,

32:00

and it's like people need to tone down

32:02

a little bit with the purchases because you're

32:04

putting delivery people at risk

32:06

to have them working so much. Uh

32:09

So, but we also need stuff.

32:12

Well yeah, it's also just

32:14

I think we I am trying to like

32:17

tone down the non essential purchases

32:19

because I mean, granted, we've purchased a

32:21

lot because we are in a home that

32:23

is not ours. But um,

32:27

I'm trying not to like jump on every

32:29

like you know. I think like

32:31

we're all kind of going to our

32:34

coping mechanisms right now, which is like food

32:36

and alcohol and TV

32:39

and like retail therapy

32:42

is a real thing that I think we all do to

32:44

some extent um if we can afford

32:46

it. And I think it's like it's

32:49

I'm trying not to follow

32:51

that urge or like today

32:54

I would like look at I would browse

32:56

like sweatpants online and I

32:59

put it in the car and then I go to a different

33:01

store and put something in

33:03

the cart there and then I just closed all

33:05

the tabs. It was like, I'm not I

33:07

was like, I don't need this. Boy,

33:10

I've never had that problem. I just like

33:13

was fantasizing about like all the comfy

33:15

outfits that could be wearing right now. I

33:17

mean, if you're gonna do it, put it all in one big

33:19

cart. Well That's what I was trying to do. But

33:21

ultimately I didn't really find a store that was satisfying,

33:24

so I just gave up. You m

33:26

Yeah, but it was fun. Okay,

33:30

I know this is listeners one who knows, but we're

33:32

gonna do one quick. We knows what they look like.

33:35

Because by the way, we're still getting

33:37

a lot of baby picks, and we love we

33:39

love them, We love all of them. We've

33:42

now hit the saturation point where we can't do

33:44

our our weird live reaction

33:47

to your baby fotus, but we're gonna

33:49

keep doing some just because I need to show bath this

33:51

picture. This is from jen

33:54

baby Pick. How to share this one of my

33:56

son Atticus this first time taking a bath

33:58

in the sink. He was

34:00

a huge newborn of German ancestry.

34:03

Enjoy ready, Beth, we're

34:06

closer together, so I can just show you one, two

34:08

three, first time in the sink.

34:12

Oh my gosh,

34:14

His little scared brownie mouth

34:17

is so cute. He has a look on his

34:19

face that says, why are

34:21

you doing this? He's the wide eyed

34:23

pure terror. He's like, why am I wet?

34:26

I thought I thought I had trust

34:28

in you? What is this? That

34:31

is terror? That was beautiful,

34:34

But there's still it's not. That's

34:37

so cute. You

34:39

know what. We got a lot more listener mail, so

34:42

we're going to take a quick break and

34:44

then I come back with more listeners. Want

34:46

of those. Now

34:59

it's time for more listeners want to know?

35:02

So many listeners they got to knows

35:04

so little time, so much listening.

35:07

That's not true. We have a lot of time these

35:10

days. This email

35:13

comes to us from Sarah. Great subject

35:15

line how important is preschool

35:17

really? Hi,

35:20

Beth and Peter Ignoring the current pandemic

35:22

parenting anxiety and choosing

35:24

to be anxious about more normal

35:26

parenting issues. I have a listeners

35:29

want to know this question for you. My

35:31

eldest just turned three,

35:33

and I suddenly started panicking about

35:35

preschool, which I never spent

35:37

a single second thinking about before. We

35:40

live in rural Ish Virginia,

35:43

and all the public preschool programs around

35:45

here are only for at risk students.

35:48

The only private preschools I can

35:50

find within an hour here

35:53

are through churches. But we aren't

35:55

at all religious,

35:57

So is preschool all that important?

36:00

I don't remember going when I was a kid name

36:02

for my husband. Our son is pretty

36:04

smart already. He knows his colors and shapes

36:06

and alphabet and count and count to twenty.

36:09

He learns new things all the time. Somehow,

36:11

I swear I don't know how or

36:14

should we send him to a Christian preschool?

36:16

And try to dodge slash tastefully

36:18

respond to the inevitable

36:20

questions about religion and faith that

36:22

we're in no position to answer. Thanks

36:25

for the hours of excellent contact content.

36:27

Sarah ps sharing a picture

36:30

of my babies just for the heck of

36:32

it, beth Ready one, two three.

36:36

Oh yeah, that's an almost naked

36:38

baby and a diaper very cute, and a

36:40

toddler pool

36:45

very cute. I love the matching

36:47

colors on that shirt. And anyway,

36:50

anyway, is it that important? Yeah,

36:54

I don't. I mean, I'm ignorant

36:56

to the like nuances of religious

36:59

pre schools in Virginia, but um,

37:03

I do think like

37:05

daycare is often not that far

37:08

off from preschool in terms

37:10

of structure and learning opportunities.

37:13

And similarly, if you're

37:15

just keeping him at home, I think if

37:18

you're doing anything remotely educational,

37:21

it's the same level. I do. I think the value

37:23

of preschool is socialization.

37:26

Yeah, I'll take back I mean, I'm going

37:28

to take back my you know, my flippant

37:31

no, because it's

37:34

it's not across the board. No, it's

37:37

Preschool is a huge advantage

37:39

in a lot of situations, but

37:41

not everyone's situation is is the same.

37:45

I think like preschool is a huge advantage in

37:47

terms of people's ability to like, you

37:50

know, go back to work and

37:52

like, you know, for like the average

37:54

American who you know what

37:56

I mean. But, um, but if your child

37:59

is I mean, honestly, if your child

38:01

is just turning three, are about to turn

38:03

three, and knows

38:06

all of his letters and numbers up to twenty in

38:08

shapes and colors, then content

38:11

wise, he's doing great. He doesn't need

38:13

school. There is a benefit to

38:16

the social aspect of things. Um.

38:18

But yeah, and if there's like if there's some daycare,

38:21

if he's around kids at all, then

38:24

yeah, great. I think also, like

38:27

some preschools, the hours

38:29

are like it's like two hours

38:31

a day, twice a week or something. And

38:33

I think you could get similar benefits

38:36

if you want to like a library

38:39

sing along and sign him

38:41

up for like a soccer class, you

38:43

know, like just a couple of chances

38:46

for him to interact with other kids.

38:48

You know, I think that would be helpful. Um.

38:51

But but if but I don't, Yeah,

38:53

he's gonna be fine if you don't do any of

38:55

those things. I mean. The fact that you

38:58

clearly, um,

39:02

you you are

39:06

asking the right questions, you have the right concerns

39:08

you are articulate, smart, seemingly

39:11

educated parents, so

39:14

that you're doing a great respect of it.

39:17

Your child has a leg up and is

39:19

covered. There are some kids who don't have that advantage,

39:21

in which case younger having

39:24

preschool at a younger age is

39:26

like a major benefit. Um.

39:29

But from the very little I know

39:31

about you, which is you know this

39:34

well written email, um,

39:37

uh, you're fine. This

39:41

is the kind of thing where I think, like we

39:45

uh, when we look back on

39:47

a child's life to their toddler

39:50

years and around there, I don't like, these

39:52

are the kind of decisions that I think have very little

39:54

bearing on who the person

39:56

becomes. So we're going

39:58

through a big I don't know if we're talking abou this last week, but

40:01

so our kids are out of school obviously we've talked about

40:03

that a lot, and we're trying to move

40:06

to Brooklyn and that's

40:09

you know, probably going to get delayed. Uh.

40:13

Um as are you know, for

40:15

a lot of reasons, and so you

40:18

know, we might not be able to move before

40:21

the school year starts. And so if we

40:23

stay where we are, I haven't registered

40:25

Maven for pre ka um,

40:28

and I'm like, you know what, it's fine,

40:31

They'll probably be room. And if there's

40:33

not, she's fine. We've

40:35

learned how to do school. Yeah,

40:38

I mean, I will say, like, if you

40:40

had asked me like a month ago about the

40:42

idea of starting them in

40:45

school in the middle of the school year

40:47

in Brooklyn, I would have been like pretty

40:51

stressed out about it. But at this point,

40:54

so many things have gone off the rails.

40:57

I don't pandemic has really moved

40:59

the goal post. Yeah, I don't like

41:02

that. No longer feels like a pressing concern.

41:06

Yeah. And at this age again

41:08

though, if you know, if my kids were twelve, I

41:11

would be a lot more stressed about

41:14

Yeah. I mean, you know whatever,

41:17

even then, those kids are

41:19

resilient, they survive. I'm

41:22

not worried about them surviving being

41:24

out of school. But but yeah, three

41:27

boy, this is a this

41:30

is a good time for a weird interruption to education.

41:34

Yeah, um,

41:36

all right, next one ready. This is a

41:38

part of a similar theme Pandamonium.

41:45

This comes from Casey. Hey,

41:47

Bethan Peter, long time

41:49

listener, First time, right, you're here. My name is Casey

41:51

and I'm from Saskatchewan, Canada. I'm

41:54

currently working as a nurse at

41:56

an acute care hospital. Things

41:59

have been super crazy. They're lots

42:01

of policy and procedure, lots of emptying

42:03

out, emptying up the hospital, awaiting

42:06

the surge as as has been

42:08

called. When I'm off work, I'm

42:10

now a teacher of my two daughters, Ruby

42:13

eight and Hazel five. My

42:15

husband works residential construction,

42:17

which is considered essential, so we are

42:19

both working full time and calling

42:21

on my parents to help support us a day

42:24

or two a week to help with the kids. Controversial.

42:27

I know the constant caretaker

42:29

role is taking some adjustment, as

42:32

I had just reached this uh

42:35

sweet sweet place of having days

42:37

off during the week with both kids

42:39

in school, which had improved my mental

42:41

health status to somewhat stable

42:43

question mark prior to this pandemic.

42:46

For schooling, we started off with a schedule

42:49

which included worksheets, outdoor

42:51

play, arts slash creative

42:53

stuff, and learning apps.

42:56

Some days we are nailing it and

42:58

sometimes we don't. I admire

43:01

your different styles of schooling, and it sounds

43:03

like Daddy's school, coupled with the more open

43:05

nature based learning, will

43:08

compliment the learning slash teaching

43:10

styles of everyone, which seems crucial

43:12

to sanity today. In quote

43:14

unquote, Mammy school, my kids bailed

43:17

on worksheets in favor of sweeping up

43:19

the dirt in the alley, giving me an allergy

43:21

attack. I had to sleep

43:23

for a night shift to sound my

43:25

life, I had to sleep for

43:28

a night shift tonight. So they watched

43:30

two hours of television and eight snacks

43:32

while I tried to sleep. My youngest

43:35

daughter, Hazel did self explore did

43:38

did self explore some math at lunch,

43:40

where she discovered that one apple plus

43:43

one apple equals butt cheeks.

43:46

See photo below a

43:48

very cute little girl holding two apples

43:50

together and smiling as

43:53

the together they make a butt

43:56

Thanks for adding so much laughter and empathy

43:58

to these crazy weeks, and good luck and managing

44:00

all the hats all at once

44:02

while trying to function as an autonomous

44:04

professional at work. We're all doing the

44:06

best we can, and humor is the key

44:08

to making it through. Alive. Casies

44:11

from Saskatchewan. Here's

44:13

the picture, Beth. That's

44:16

so great, Casey.

44:19

Sounds like you're doing a great job through all of

44:21

this. Thank you for this email. Um,

44:24

I'm glad to hear from someone who's trying to, like, actually

44:28

do their jobs and have to leave the house

44:30

and deal with all this because that's a whole other stress

44:32

that we're not having to deal with right now. Um,

44:36

And I what

44:38

she was saying about the how it's controversial

44:40

to be using her parents as help right

44:43

now, I gotta I have to say, like, everyone

44:46

needs to get through this the way they have to get through this, and

44:48

there's no judgment from us

44:50

on how you need to do that. I know, we've all got our

44:52

own economic concerns

44:55

and health concerns and otherwise. It's also,

44:57

you know, there's we can't expect.

45:00

Uh, you know,

45:02

the entire healthcare system right now needs

45:06

everybody, right and there's a yeah,

45:08

there's a lot of parents

45:11

who are working in various industries

45:14

that we need right now. It's a great example

45:16

of, uh,

45:19

the sacrifices that people are making

45:21

for everybody else. Yeah. I

45:23

know someone whose husband is a doctor and

45:26

she is pregnant with a toddler,

45:29

and her husband has chosen to live

45:31

away from her right now to protect

45:33

her from the virus.

45:35

But then she's dealing with her own nightmare

45:37

of parenting a toddler solo through

45:39

all this while she tries to do her

45:41

job, Like anyway, It's

45:44

it's really a dumb joke, but the way you said it

45:46

made it sound like she was pregnant with a toddler.

45:49

Like she's not pregnant with a toddler. She's

45:52

like, I'm just not having this baby until the pandemic

45:54

is over. So with the toddler

45:56

now, which is fine, no rush, no

45:59

rush is our priest will know, no rush

46:01

to have the child be born. It's always

46:03

funny to have these like pandemic type

46:05

conversations with people who aren't parents, because

46:07

people will say things to you where they're like, well,

46:11

I shouldn't get pregnant now, no one should bring a

46:13

child into this and you're like,

46:15

well, some of us already are. Life

46:18

is going on, like

46:20

you like, um,

46:22

yeah, it's very like it's

46:25

so interesting, so trying

46:27

to you know, I actually have a

46:29

lot of work these days with story

46:31

parts, and I'm trying to organize actors from

46:34

their apartments, and

46:36

there is a huge difference between

46:38

the availability of people without

46:41

kids and people with kids. Yeah,

46:43

and well, people without kids will start to

46:45

have conversations with you or like

46:47

people who have less, you know, like

46:49

maybe their job is not happening

46:52

right now or whatever, and they just have all this time to

46:54

kill and You're like meanwhile, you're

46:56

trying to like homeschool kids and do your job and all these

46:58

things. You're like, I can't just have

47:01

this conversation casually,

47:03

like we need to get to the point. Like I emailed

47:07

story pirates who

47:09

I know don't have children, and

47:12

I was like, are you available for a thing tomorrow?

47:14

And within ten minutes everyone was

47:16

like available. And the few

47:18

parents that I've emailed I

47:21

have still not emailed me back. And

47:23

I don't blame them because they've

47:26

got less time to do work.

47:28

Yeah. Well, like I a couple of weeks ago,

47:31

I had a when

47:33

we were first trying to get settled here and we didn't

47:35

didn't have a schedule. I had a conference

47:37

call I was supposed to be on that I just didn't

47:41

call into, Like I just like got so sidetracked

47:43

by these children. Um,

47:46

and it's just like there's stuff like that. And I was like,

47:49

I was on a conference call this week with three

47:52

other moms and it was just like one

47:55

person was late to the call because her kid fell off a trampoline,

47:58

and then one person had their kids like me in

48:00

the background, like another person had their kid

48:02

come talk to them, Like it was just like did

48:04

I was supposed to call

48:06

into so the Story Privates Radio daily

48:09

daily at eleven am.

48:11

Check it out. But h I periodically

48:14

have called into the show, um,

48:17

and I was supposed to on Saturday,

48:19

but

48:22

you and I got in a fight and I got mad

48:24

and I stormed out and I went for a long walk

48:26

and I didn't bring my phone. And when I got

48:28

back to the house, I had forty texts

48:31

from Lee saying I'm calling you in I

48:33

announced you Everyone's waiting for Peter and I

48:35

was like, oh no, I

48:37

missed my live appearance on Story Pirates

48:39

Radio, which

48:42

was was real bad. It

48:44

was real bad. I mean, when do I ever leave my

48:46

phone? And I left my phone. I was like, I feel so

48:48

free. You have never in your life left your

48:50

phone. I mean, how how often

48:53

am I truly away with my phone? It's kind of groundbreaking.

48:56

It was great. And then I came back and I was like, I'll never

48:58

leave my phone again. I'm

49:01

trying to through this, get better at like walking

49:03

away from my computer, like because we

49:05

have we both have these work schedules and then

49:08

and we're taking shifts and sometimes

49:11

I'm with the kids and I have to just like try

49:13

to achieve this news and where I'm like, I'm

49:15

getting emails and messages and

49:17

questions from people and I just need to not

49:21

care and they're just going to have to wait,

49:24

you know, like it's just like

49:26

how urgent could anything be. I have

49:28

to constantly remind myself, like, you

49:30

are a comedy writer, and no one is going

49:32

to die because you don't reply to this

49:34

question right now. I got an email from my agent

49:36

tonight a S A P voiceover

49:39

audition, and it was like, right in the middle of

49:41

making dinner, my my shift with the kids

49:44

was on, and I was like, A

49:46

S A P. What does that mean? I

49:48

gotta record a podcast? And I was like, can

49:50

I do this in the morning. She's like, yes, do by

49:52

one pm tomorrow. I was

49:54

like, Oh, Normally I'd be freak out about

49:56

it and I have to do it immediately. But now I'm like, there

50:00

they're saying a SAP on account

50:02

of like the other clients that are like twenty two

50:04

and they're just zoom

50:06

calling everyone all night. You know, they're

50:08

just not going to sleep because the zoom all

50:13

kids in the zooms, um, anybody

50:15

going to zoom date. I want to hear about it.

50:17

My sister has been zoom dating. My brother's

50:20

been zoom dating. I

50:22

mean, this is kind of like their love

50:25

is blind, except

50:27

they can see, except they're not blind. Love is

50:29

as no techtile, love

50:34

can't smell. Brian

50:39

had a really good joke tonight where

50:41

you were like, I haven't showered in two days,

50:44

and brand goes, I think you mean two

50:46

years. And

50:51

with that that's been another episode of We Knows

50:53

Parenting. Hey, if you want

50:55

more stuff for your kids, please check out story Prides

50:57

dot com. We got story Prides Radio Live every day

50:59

to love They Am Sorry, Price University

51:02

where they can learn some creative writing

51:04

techniques at thirty uh,

51:06

start a creator Club membership, visit

51:09

the podcast. A lot of great

51:11

stuff for kids. That's my gift

51:13

to you. Buy my book

51:16

for someone you know who is pregnant. There's

51:18

no manual, honest and gory wisdom

51:20

about having a baby. Can they get digital

51:22

copies? They can. You can get

51:25

the audio book or the

51:28

Kindle version wherever books

51:30

are sold. Email us said

51:32

we knows Pot at gmail dot com. We

51:34

want to hear how you are doing, or leave us

51:36

a voicemail at three four seven three

51:39

eight four seven three nine six. We'd love

51:41

to hear your children yelling in the background.

51:44

Uh. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook,

51:46

we knows. Pod rate review, leave

51:48

us a review. Stay

51:51

safe out there, Wash your hands, stay

51:53

home your face. You're

51:56

doing great. You're doing a good job,

51:58

even if you didn't do any home school

52:00

this week. Bye

52:02

bye,