0:04

Hey y'all, it's Jeffrey Craner and happy New

0:06

Year Night Vale and happy Lunar New Year

0:09

to all those who still believe that that

0:11

thing's actually a moon and happy Valentine's Day

0:13

to all those who love to draw little

0:15

pictures of blood pumping chest organs. In fact,

0:18

if you haven't gotten your Valentine's Day cards

0:20

yet, do that now and do that at

0:22

welcometonightvale.com and click on store. We've got three

0:24

different sets of extremely Night Vale Valentine's cards

0:27

designed by Rob Wilson and Jessica Hayworth. But

0:29

as of this recording, it's February 1st. You'll

0:32

need to order soon. And if you order now,

0:34

you'll still have plenty of time to get those

0:36

cards and then hand them over to unsuspecting loved

0:38

ones. Speaking of loved ones, let me do a

0:40

big ol' air kiss to our Patreon supporters. Love

0:43

y'all so much. And I really look forward

0:46

to our Zoom hangouts each month. It's so

0:48

much fun. If you're not already a Night

0:50

Vale Patreon supporter, you're missing out on director's

0:52

notes for each episode, regular essays and stories

0:55

from me and Joseph, and quarterly bonus episodes.

0:57

The newest bonus episode just went up last

0:59

week. We put a sample in the regular

1:02

feed. So consider joining for all of the

1:04

cool things. Patreon is what

1:06

keeps this show going. Just

1:08

go to patreon.com/welcometonightvale. Last

1:11

thing in just one month, we'll

1:13

be back in Europe. Come see

1:15

our newest touring live show, The

1:17

Attic, starring Cecil Baldwin, Symphony Sanders,

1:19

Disparition and me. Plus our musical

1:21

guest is Al Olander, making her

1:23

European debut and holy cow, she's

1:25

so amazing. Starting March

1:27

2nd will be in Antwerp, then Utrecht, Cologne

1:30

on the 4th, Frankfurt on the 6th, and

1:32

Berlin March 7th, then the UK,

1:34

London March 9th, Glasgow on the 10th,

1:36

Bristol on the 11th, Leeds on March

1:38

13th, and Manchester on the 14th, and

1:40

then Dublin Ireland on March 15th. Europe,

1:43

come see us. Welcome to Night

1:46

vale.com/live for tickets. And hey,

1:48

thanks. This

1:51

episode is brought to you by Progressive

1:53

Insurance. Instead of comparing car insurance rates

1:55

was as easy as putting on your

1:57

favorite podcast. With Progressive, it is. visit

2:00

the Progressive website to quote with all

2:02

the coverages you want. You'll see Progressive's

2:04

direct rate, then their tool will provide

2:07

options from other companies so you can

2:09

compare. All you need to do is

2:11

choose the rate and coverage you like.

2:13

Quote today at progressive.com to join the

2:15

over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.

2:18

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, comparison

2:20

rates not available in all states or

2:22

situations, prices vary based on how you

2:24

buy. It's

2:27

the eye of the tiger. It's

2:29

the mouth of the tiger. It's

2:31

the gnashing ceaseless teeth of

2:34

the tiger. Then only

2:37

darkness. Welcome to

2:39

Night Vale. Listeners,

3:06

it has been hours, possibly

3:09

even days, maybe

3:11

only minutes since I've been held

3:13

hostage in my own radio booth.

3:16

Time is hard to gauge in

3:18

stressful situations. Time is

3:20

also elastic, fluid and non-linear,

3:23

which makes it hard to gauge as well. I'm

3:26

still here with the boy from Grove

3:28

Park, who we now know is a

3:30

young version of Kevin from Desert Bluffs

3:33

2. He is still

3:35

holding a knife. After

3:37

he cut my microphone cord, the boy

3:39

and I sat together for hours or

3:42

days or minutes. He

3:45

asked questions that I didn't have answers

3:48

for. It took some

3:50

clever negotiation on my part, but

3:52

I was finally allowed to get

3:54

a replacement XLR cable for my

3:56

microphone from the supply closet. Details

3:59

on my negotiation. skills later if

4:01

anyone is interested. But

4:03

I'm back on the air and

4:05

that's the important thing. We

4:08

don't know what the boy wants. He

4:10

doesn't know what he wants, but he knows

4:13

he wants something. And

4:16

it seems like that something has to

4:18

do with the knife that he is

4:20

currently still holding. Until

4:23

he figures out exactly what he needs to

4:25

do with that knife, I

4:27

guess I'm stuck here. Listeners, just

4:30

him and me and

4:32

a large blade that he occasionally

4:34

uses to look at his own

4:36

reflection in a haunted questioning manner.

4:39

When you use a knife as a mirror,

4:42

the boy says to me in a voice

4:44

that sounds like several voices, it shows

4:47

you unpleasant truths about

4:49

yourself. While

4:52

the tension here in the studio increases by

4:54

the moment, let's try

4:57

to lighten things up by checking

4:59

out some fun upcoming events on

5:01

the community calendar. On

5:05

Thursday, the Night Vale Senior Center will

5:07

be hosting a field day showcasing rigorous

5:09

athletic contests and feats of strength open

5:12

to anyone over the age of 70

5:14

but under the age

5:17

of ancient spirit being. The

5:20

center is raising funds for an expansion

5:22

to their assisted living facilities which are

5:24

overcrowded and experiencing a long wait

5:26

list. We will be

5:29

using the money to open up more

5:31

beds for new residents, Facility Director Chris

5:33

Tibersky said in a publicity statement for

5:35

the event. Or, you

5:37

know, maybe some of the

5:39

old beds will suddenly become

5:41

available sooner than expected. Like,

5:44

maybe sometime after the field day

5:46

on Thursday? We'll see

5:48

what happens. On

5:50

Friday, there will be a blood drive

5:53

in the newly reopened post office parking

5:55

lot. A blood drive is

5:57

crucial after a field day due to the

5:59

massive blood loss involved, especially

6:02

in the more traditional events

6:04

like Javelin, Kato Ninetales, or

6:06

MMA cage fighting. As

6:09

a thank you gift for your

6:11

blood donation, information extracted from your

6:13

DNA will be used by the

6:16

postmaster to send out targeted advertisements

6:18

based on your unique biological profile

6:21

instead of the generalized junk

6:23

mailers that currently get stuffed

6:25

into your mailbox. We

6:28

need your blood to serve you better.

6:31

A voice from inside the newly reopened

6:33

post office whispered out from a darkened

6:35

window, according to one source who

6:38

walked past the building last week. Saturday

6:41

is Community Cleanup Day, which will

6:43

be necessary since things tend to

6:45

get extremely messy during a blood

6:48

drive. And

6:50

Sunday will mark the first meeting

6:52

of the Night Vale Scarcity League,

6:54

which brings me to financial news.

6:59

We all know that an abundance

7:01

of something valuable can cause its

7:03

abrupt devaluation. We experienced

7:05

this first hand when that huge

7:08

deposit of plutonium was discovered in

7:10

Radon Canyon and everyone was crazy

7:12

wealthy for like three days. And

7:15

now you can't even use plutonium to buy

7:17

dog food at the Ralphs anymore. This

7:20

is exactly why the Night Vale

7:22

Scarcity League was formed. The

7:25

League invites you to stamp

7:27

out abundance and protect value

7:29

at all costs. It's

7:31

easy to sign up. Just pay the

7:33

initiation fee and members of the League will

7:35

come to your house to do a full

7:37

assessment of your resources. Then

7:39

burn anything deemed excessive in a

7:42

bonfire. This will protect

7:44

not just you and your family, but

7:46

the whole concept of wealth. Their

7:48

slogan is value, value. Which

7:53

is unfortunately also the name of the

7:56

new dollar menu at Arby's who are

7:58

leveling a million dollar copyright infa- law

8:00

suit against the scarcity league. When

8:03

asked for comment, a league spokesperson said

8:05

the lawsuit could wipe the scarcity league

8:08

out completely. Then they

8:10

shivered in ecstasy and said they were

8:12

super into it. Back

8:15

to our top story. The

8:18

boy is inches from me sitting

8:20

on the edge of my desk

8:22

with his legs dangling off carving

8:24

a jagged question mark into

8:27

the desktop. The

8:29

knife is as sharp as it looks. What

8:32

you doing there buddy? I asked

8:35

him. He doesn't answer

8:37

but stops carving. He

8:39

stares down at the question mark with

8:41

intense concentration. I think

8:44

I figured it out. He says suddenly

8:46

looking up at me with the open

8:48

excitement that only a child can possess.

8:51

That's so great. I say

8:53

I know what

8:55

I have to do with this knife.

8:58

He says waving the enormous dagger around.

9:01

I keep smiling and

9:03

nodding but roll my

9:05

chair slowly backward. Shout

9:08

out to my husband Carlos for this

9:10

rubber office chair mat that allows me

9:12

effortless mobility around the booth. I

9:15

admit I didn't appreciate it as a

9:17

Valentine's Day gift at first but he

9:19

assured me it was scientifically romantic and

9:22

gosh darned if he wasn't right. I

9:25

have to put it into a body.

9:29

The boy says triumphantly referring to

9:32

the razor-sharp 12 inch long butcher

9:34

knife in his hand. He

9:36

is so very

9:39

excited. He jumps off

9:41

the desk and grips the arm of my chair with

9:43

the hand that is not holding the knife and looks

9:45

into my eyes. I have to put

9:47

it into a body over

9:50

and over he says until

9:53

everything comes out. I

9:56

repeat the phrase back to him until

10:00

Everything comes out in

10:03

a squeaky voice. He

10:05

nods vigorously. Everything,

10:08

he says, blood and

10:11

thoughts and organs, thoughts

10:13

and memories and emotions,

10:16

germs and cells and

10:18

complex proteins all

10:21

over the place. Everything

10:24

coming out. I

10:28

am still nodding, listeners, but for

10:30

the record, I am not necessarily

10:32

condoning the boy's statement, and

10:35

I have to admit he sounds eerily

10:37

more and more like, well,

10:41

Kevin. Whose

10:43

body, I ask, because I'm

10:45

a professional journalist. The

10:48

boy frowns. I don't

10:50

know. He howls in frustration

10:52

and pounds his fist. Let's

10:55

get you a snack, bud,

10:57

I suggest. Then maybe you

10:59

can think this through a

11:01

little better. While

11:04

I do that, listeners, let's go

11:06

to a pre-recorded word from our

11:08

sponsors. Hi,

11:11

listeners. It's Deb, a sentient

11:13

patch of haze. Today's

11:15

show is sponsored by Door Dash. Have

11:19

you ever had a special craving? Woken up

11:21

in the middle of the night feeling empty

11:23

and wanting more? Wondered

11:25

if that hollow sensation can ever be

11:28

satisfied? Have you ever

11:30

asked yourself what you truly want?

11:33

And more importantly, have you kept

11:35

on asking? Because that answer changes,

11:37

you know, it changes all the

11:39

time. And if you stop asking,

11:42

you'll stop knowing. And if

11:44

you stop knowing, that's when the abyss begins

11:46

to take over. For example,

11:49

do you want a hamburger? A burrito? A

11:52

falafel plate? Fill

11:54

the yawning chasm inside with $20 off

11:57

plus free delivery when you use promo

11:59

code empty. Thanks

12:03

for that Deb. I'm trying out

12:05

that promo code right now to order

12:07

some delivery salmon burgers for myself and

12:10

the boy from my good friend Earl

12:12

Harlan's food truck. While

12:14

we're waiting, let's go to traffic. All

12:18

roads will be closed this week for

12:20

tarring and feathering. The

12:22

roads have facilitated the transportation of

12:24

people doing a lot of shady

12:26

things lately, and they should be

12:28

ashamed of themselves. By

12:30

applying layers of hot tar and

12:32

fluffy chicken feathers, the roads will

12:35

be undergoing both routine maintenance, as

12:37

well as learning a valuable lesson

12:39

about the consequences of being complicit

12:41

in bad behavior. Since

12:43

the roads will be closed to

12:45

all vehicular travel, citizens are urged

12:48

to stay home, go nowhere, just

12:50

hunker down, and don't move a

12:52

muscle. Oh

12:54

shoot, these road closures might

12:56

affect my door dash delivery. Uh,

12:59

I'm sure they'll work it out. In

13:02

the meantime, I've given the boy a bag of

13:04

goldfish crackers and a can of root beer from

13:06

the whole vending machine, and he

13:08

seems to have calmed down a bit,

13:11

but he is still holding the knife and

13:13

occasionally practicing slow downward

13:16

arcing motions with it. Oh,

13:20

hold on a second, someone's at the door. Oh,

13:22

I hope it's the food. Listeners,

13:25

it was not the food. The

13:28

person who has just arrived in my studio

13:30

is Tamika Flynn, former teen

13:33

militia leader, current city council member,

13:36

and the boy's volunteer guardian. She's

13:38

come to help. She could

13:40

easily just dropkick the boy and end

13:43

this whole thing, she told me confidentially,

13:46

that as an elected council member,

13:48

not to mention someone who is

13:50

responsible for the boy's well-being, she

13:52

is choosing non-violence today. She's

13:55

going to use her words. She's

13:57

going to use the potent power of

13:59

psychology. an understanding. All

14:02

of these tools, she tells me,

14:04

make conflict resolution a lot

14:06

harder. This is

14:08

so exciting, listeners. I'm really glad Tamika showed up because

14:10

I admit I was kind

14:13

of hitting a wall with this

14:15

whole babysitting slash hostage situation thing.

14:17

I can't wait to

14:20

see her fierce pacifism skills in

14:22

action. Okay, for example, right now

14:24

she is calmly asking the boy

14:27

to give her the knife. She

14:30

has a friendly tone of voice and

14:32

she has said the word, please. She

14:34

is using I feel statements to

14:37

try to show the boy how

14:39

his actions are affecting others without

14:41

making him feel defensive about it.

14:43

She is offering to help him resolve

14:46

his issues without stabbing.

14:50

Listeners, I don't know how this is

14:52

possible, but the boy has produced a

14:54

second knife. He now

14:57

holds a knife in each hand. This

14:59

second knife is different from the first,

15:01

thinner and longer with a serrated edge

15:03

like one would use

15:05

for gutting an animal or cutting into

15:08

a nice crusty baguette. I

15:10

understand what you're saying, he tells

15:13

Tamika, nodding earnestly, but stabbing is

15:15

super important to me right now.

15:19

He makes that same downward arcing

15:21

movement with both knives now and

15:23

this time he's doing it

15:25

much faster. While these

15:27

two continue their problem-solving

15:29

dialogue, let's go

15:31

to the lost and found. Lost.

15:36

Keys. Several

15:38

Florida keys which used

15:40

to appear on the map now don't.

15:43

The key of E minor. A

15:46

handful of keys from an old

15:49

typewriter, namely the letters H, E,

15:52

L, P and M.

15:55

Sound. Paper

15:57

currency featuring the face of a creature

15:59

with high... Hollow eyes and gaping

16:01

jaws and a hologram of a

16:03

worm or snake leaping out of

16:06

its mouth. Denomination of $2.5.

16:11

Lost. The pursuit of

16:13

a talent that, let's face it, was never

16:15

going to pay off. Reported

16:17

by an anonymous resident on Oxford Street.

16:21

Found. A new

16:23

friend with the possibility of more.

16:26

Reported by Latrice Beaumont. Found.

16:31

A Hawaiian shaved ice hut. Abandoned,

16:34

but fully functional on Route

16:36

800. This

16:39

has been Lost and Found. Great

16:43

news listeners, not only have the

16:45

salmon burgers arrived, but

16:47

so has a devastatingly handsome rescuer who

16:49

will surely be able to solve this

16:52

situation with the aid of science where

16:55

peaceful negotiations have failed. My

16:58

husband Carlos has joined us in the studio. He

17:00

said he's been listening to the broadcast and getting really

17:02

worried. Aw, that's sweet.

17:06

It's time to run some experiments and get to the

17:08

bottom of this, according to Carlos.

17:11

That's such a scientist thing to say, isn't

17:13

it? Too cute. Meanwhile,

17:15

Tamika is duct taping old

17:17

Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers, aka

17:20

the former station management's

17:23

financial plans all around

17:25

her torso as protective

17:27

armor. Even when

17:29

you choose nonviolence, she says, you

17:31

should always protect your organ meat.

17:35

With Carlos's arrival, the boy has

17:37

mysteriously produced a third knife.

17:40

This one is short with a

17:42

curved tip, like the kind used

17:44

for pairing vegetables or performing small

17:47

limb amputations. And listeners, the

17:49

boy is no longer holding the knives. The

17:53

boy is now juggling

17:55

the knives. I

17:57

assume because that's the only way anyone...

18:00

one can hold on to three objects at the same

18:02

time. This is, of

18:04

course, extremely dangerous, but

18:06

also strangely mesmerizing. The

18:10

flash of the silver blades glinting

18:12

in the studio lights. The boy's

18:14

rhythmic but also highly erratic throwing

18:17

pattern. The fact that

18:19

he barely seems able to keep all

18:21

those knives under control in such an

18:23

enclosed space and in such close proximity

18:25

to three other human bodies all huddled

18:28

together in fear. You

18:30

just don't understand, the

18:32

boy keeps saying, sweat dripping down

18:34

his face as he continues to

18:36

throw the knives into the air

18:39

faster and faster and faster, not

18:41

even looking at them at all. None

18:43

of you understand. The

18:45

boy's hand jerks wildly and one of the

18:48

knives. No, all three of

18:50

the knives are now careening through the air

18:52

toward us. First, the

18:55

weather. j

20:00

we made.. random

20:03

music body

20:30

commerce video

20:35

going tour his

20:43

two akra

20:51

morning morning

20:56

morning morning

21:00

morning morning

21:07

morning I'm

21:09

waiting for you I don't

21:12

want to keep this going

21:14

there's no one to keep this going

21:17

no one I

21:20

don't want to keep this going no

21:23

one to keep this going

21:25

no one to keep this

21:27

going no

21:34

one to keep

21:37

this going no

21:40

one to keep this going the

21:46

one I didn't want to keep no

21:49

one to keep this going

21:54

no one to keep this going

22:00

We are far away, and now

22:02

I want to keep this interested,

22:05

no extra wait on my always i want 100

22:11

Peter if you'll ever walk

22:13

with me the

22:16

wasted by morning that

22:18

loved me let's

22:39

start with a recap of where

22:42

the knives are now the

22:44

butcher knife is stuck in the floor the

22:48

hook knife has punctured my sound

22:50

mixing board the long

22:52

serrated knife is sticking out of to

22:54

mikas rib cage but

22:56

since she is fully protected by her trapper keeper

22:58

suit of armor she's totally fine however

23:01

the pink and lavender walrus near her heart

23:03

has been pierced through the eye and seems

23:05

to be weeping some kind of sparkly rainbow

23:08

gel the boy

23:10

now sits quietly in the corner arms

23:13

wrapped around his knees looking up at

23:15

all of us with those bright inquisitive

23:17

eyes I want

23:21

to talk to you about symbolism

23:24

Carlos says to the boy symbolism

23:26

is a branch of hard science

23:29

it's where certain objects represent totally

23:32

different things than what they actually

23:34

are do you think

23:36

it's possible that these knives are so interesting

23:39

and represent something else

23:42

that maybe you don't want to stab a real

23:44

person at all but instead

23:46

you want to sever a connection

23:48

to something or someone

23:50

in your life or your past

23:53

oh that's so smart babe

23:55

oh sorry I couldn't help

23:57

commenting and I'll go back to being

24:00

and objective reporter. But

24:02

it does make a lot of sense if you think about it. If

24:05

this boy is a young Kevin, maybe

24:07

he can make a fresh start and grow

24:09

up to become a totally different person than

24:11

the Kevin we know. Which

24:13

is honestly a great idea because no offense, but

24:15

the Kevin we know, eh, not the

24:18

best. Thank

24:21

you for teaching me about symbolism, the

24:23

boy says. It's helped

24:25

me understand a lot. Carlos

24:28

is so smart, like I said. I

24:30

mean speaking as an objective reporter. It's

24:34

also helped me understand, the boy

24:36

continues, that my desire for these

24:38

knives is not symbolic at all.

24:41

I want to put them

24:43

in a specific person's body.

24:46

One is heavy for

24:49

chopping big pieces into little pieces.

24:52

One is long and jagged

24:54

for sawing. One

24:57

is small and curved

24:59

for separating bones from

25:01

joints. Because now

25:03

I know who I am. I

25:06

am Kevin. And there can

25:08

only be one Kevin. I

25:12

have to go to the desert otherworld

25:14

and find my older double and I

25:16

must disassemble him piece

25:18

by piece so

25:21

that everything inside of the old

25:23

Kevin comes out. Only

25:25

then can the new Kevin truly

25:28

begin. With

25:31

a sudden movement, the boy ganks the butcher knife

25:34

out of the floor. Dark

25:36

red blood begins gurgling from

25:38

the wound in the cork

25:40

laminate flooring. As

25:43

we all process this shocking

25:45

revelation with blood swirling around

25:47

our ankles, I'm not

25:50

really sure what else to say

25:52

right now. So

25:55

stay tuned

25:57

for the Toon Stay by Lisa

25:59

Loewe. The number one hit

26:01

song from the film Reality Bites based on

26:03

the breakfast cereal of the same name. Good

26:07

night. Night Vale. Good

26:10

night. One

26:19

of my New Year's intentions was to get new

26:21

clothes. Not just replacing old clothes, but new looks,

26:24

new styles and colors. Maybe I'll

26:26

like wearing hats or button downs. Maybe I'm more of

26:28

a tracksuit guy. Maybe I'm more of a suit suit

26:30

guy. I don't know because I've been t-shirt and jeans

26:32

guy for so long. I want 2024 to be a

26:34

new era for my style. Whether

26:37

I'm just having a beer with friends or on a

26:39

date or going to a pitch meeting or going on

26:41

vacation. And so I turned to Stitch

26:43

Fix for help. Their stylists learned about my tastes and

26:45

what I want in my wardrobe and helped me find

26:48

the right look. They sent me five items to

26:50

my door. I tried them all on and

26:52

sent back what I didn't want. Free return

26:54

shipping by the buy. I kept two of

26:56

these shirts, both with brighter pastels and one

26:58

of them is this really beautiful plaid. Not

27:00

farmer plaid. City plaid baby. They

27:03

have over 1,000 brands and styles so no

27:05

matter what season of life you're in, Stitch

27:07

Fix has you covered. Simply order a refresh

27:09

as needed or set it and forget it

27:11

with regular fixes. You're in control. Just like

27:13

me. Thanks Stitch Fix. They

27:16

just get me. And they'll get you

27:18

too. Try today at stitchfix.com slash Night Vale

27:20

and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your

27:22

face. That's

27:25

stitchfix.com/Night Vale.

27:27

stitchfix.com/Night Vale.

27:30

This show is brought to you by BetterHelp.

27:32

It's taken me a long time to understand

27:34

how to make better relationships with family, partners,

27:36

friends, coworkers, you name it. And while I'll

27:38

never be perfect at it, I've gotten so

27:41

much better at managing my feelings with those

27:43

I'm close to. And it's not

27:45

just about finding easy relationships or better

27:47

ones. It's about making the ones you

27:49

have work for you. I've

27:52

discovered all of this through experience and

27:54

therapy, having someone to talk to, to

27:56

listen, to help me navigate my own

27:59

emotions and experience. experience has been

28:01

so vital. And there's

28:03

so for you, if you're looking for a therapist,

28:05

there's BetterHelp. BetterHelp can help you find

28:07

the right person to talk to just like me. BetterHelp

28:10

is customized online therapy that offers video, phone,

28:12

and even live chat sessions with your therapist.

28:14

So you don't have to see anyone on

28:16

camera if you don't want to. Become

28:19

your own soulmate, whether you're looking for one or

28:21

not. Visit betterhelp.com/night veil today

28:24

to get 10% off

28:26

your first month. That's

28:29

betterhelphelp.com slash night veil. Welcome

28:39

to night veil is a production

28:41

of night veil presents. It is

28:43

written by Joseph Sink, Jeffrey Craner,

28:45

and Bree Williams and produced by

28:47

Disparition. The voice of Deb is

28:49

Meg Bash winner. The voice of

28:51

night veil is Cecil Baldwin, original

28:53

music by Disparition. All of

28:56

it can be found at Disparition.bandcamp.com.

28:59

This episode's weather was Whiskey

29:01

by Rumormill. Find

29:03

out more at Rumormill.bang.

29:05

Both rumor with two youths because

29:08

they're Canadian. Comments, questions,

29:10

email us at info at welcome

29:12

to night veil.com. Or

29:14

follow us on Twitter if you're still there,

29:16

at Night Vale Radio and on Instagram at

29:19

Night Vale Official. We now have a TikTok

29:21

at Night Vale Official as well for tics

29:23

and talks. Most importantly, check out

29:25

welcometonightveil.com, where we have a twice monthly mailing

29:28

list that is the best way to keep

29:30

up to date directly from us to you.

29:32

You can learn about things like our live

29:35

show, The Attic, which tours Europe

29:37

in March and the US in April.

29:40

Today's proverb, The last

29:42

shall be first, and the first shall

29:44

be last. The middle will

29:46

be shuffled around as well. For instance,

29:48

number three will become number five, and

29:50

so on. If you end up

29:52

in the same place as before, please let us

29:54

know so we can move you. Thanks! From

30:20

the creators of Welcome to Night Vale, Alice

30:22

isn't dead and within the wires comes a

30:25

new Audible original. Unlicensed.

30:27

In the outskirts of Los Angeles,

30:29

where the cul-de-sacs and strip malls

30:31

sprawl into the desert, two unlicensed

30:33

private investigators scrape by on whatever

30:35

small cases come their way. But

30:38

when a teenage girl pleads for them

30:40

to take the strangest case of their

30:42

career, this unlikely pair, with no resources

30:44

and no backup, will follow a trail

30:46

of seemingly unconnected cases which will lead

30:48

them to a ransom, a murder,

30:50

a mysterious wellness center, and a conspiracy

30:53

that might go all the way to

30:55

the governor. It's important to catch small

30:57

fires early. They don't stay

30:59

small for long. Unlicensed.

31:02

Available now at

31:04

audible.com/unlicensed.