0:00

This episode is brought to

0:02

you by wonderful pistachios. Wonderful

0:05

pistachios have literally come out of

0:07

their shells with the same delicious

0:09

tastes, but with a little less

0:11

work for you. Less crackin', more

0:13

snackin'. I'm a

0:15

big pistachio fan. I'm from Chicago. Who

0:18

isn't? They got

0:20

good flavors on this one. They sent

0:22

each of us a box, so we've

0:24

tried them and we like them. You

0:26

got chili roasted. You got honey roasted.

0:28

You got sea salt and vinegar. You

0:30

got smoky barbecue. You got sea salt

0:32

and pepper. And you got my favorite,

0:35

jalapeno lime. It's got a

0:37

little bit of kick to it, but not too

0:39

much. It is truly delicious. So

0:41

if you're a pistachio fan, which I know

0:43

you are because you listen to this podcast,

0:45

then go check out wonderful

0:48

pistachios.com to learn more. Let

0:50

me spell pistachios for the

0:53

people out there like me

0:56

who like the nut,

0:59

but could never

1:01

spell it. P-I-S-T-A-C-H-I-O-S.

1:03

That's wonderful. pistachios.com.

1:11

Worried about letting someone else pick

1:13

out the perfect avocado for your

1:15

perfect impress them on the third

1:17

date, guacamole? Well, good thing. Instacart

1:19

shoppers are as picky as you

1:21

are. They find ripe avocados like

1:23

it's their guac on the line.

1:25

They are milk expiration date detectives.

1:27

They bag eggs like the 12

1:29

precious pieces of cargo they are.

1:31

So let Instacart shoppers overthink your

1:34

groceries so that you can overthink

1:36

what you'll wear on that third date.

1:38

Download the Instacart app today to get

1:41

free delivery on your first three

1:43

orders. While supplies last, minimum $10

1:45

per order. Additional terms apply. And

2:00

we are back. Back.

2:12

Hi Jake. Thoughts on that. Thoughts

2:14

on that, Garret. I don't know what's going on. What's that?

2:17

You've got a gorilla picture in your office? Now

2:19

what are you in? Are you in your half

2:21

dojo half office? What is this? Thank

2:24

you for calling it a half dojo. Answer

2:26

the stupid question. Well you said a buzzword

2:28

first. Is it your dojo office? Thank

2:31

you for calling it a dojo office. Is that

2:33

what we have? We have like a splitsy situation or this

2:35

is like? No, this is the office. This is the office.

2:38

Okay. It's just slow coming

2:40

together. This is the podcast

2:42

office. This happened post-pens. This happened because of

2:44

my relationship with you Garffman. Remember at the

2:46

beginning of the show I was always in

2:48

my different rooms? Yes. Closets

2:51

I would think is a better term for you. I

2:53

think what time you were at an event is I'm fine

2:55

with my mistaken. It was hot. All right. Let's

2:57

talk about the hundredth episode. We've got

3:00

a hundredth episode coming up. It's a

3:02

big one. We are introducing Kevin's studio.

3:04

Kevin, can you tell us what is

3:06

planned for a hundred? It better be

3:08

big Kevin. We tried it last time.

3:10

Really? The fireworks. Yes.

3:13

Let's see what we got. We have

3:15

90 incredible minutes of calls, maybe some

3:17

surprise follow-ups. I have some surprises in

3:20

the works that I'm working on right

3:22

now I'm very excited about. And

3:25

afterwards. So you have surprises to us as well. Yes.

3:28

I'm not telling you guys should Gareth and

3:30

I each come up with two surprises. I

3:33

would love that. Okay. Okay.

3:36

Okay. We got an hour and

3:38

a half of calls and then afterward we are

3:40

doing a Q&A just for people on the live

3:42

stream. So the calls are going

3:45

to be the 100th episode and then the

3:47

Q&A that we're doing is going to be

3:49

just on the Patreon as well. And

3:51

so what are just people on the main

3:54

feed your Spotify your now when so you're

3:56

just on the hundredth episode you're seeing the

3:58

you were going to give an

4:00

extra long episode. Yep. You're good. There'll be some

4:02

trims in that one, the stuff that doesn't fully

4:04

work, but there'll be people for Patreon, they'll see

4:06

the stuff that gets cut out. Are

4:09

we ready to announce the date of that? Yes,

4:11

let's do it. It is Thursday, July

4:13

25th at

4:16

5pm Pacific time. That's

4:19

when we're doing the live stream of the

4:21

100th episode. So

4:24

live Patreon 100th

4:26

episode. Yeah. Sign

4:29

up for our Patreon and you can watch the

4:31

live 100th episode. We also have a ton of

4:33

stuff in there as well. If you watch more

4:35

is coming. And there's also all

4:37

for that. There'll be a lot of everything

4:39

behind the scenes you'll see, but for also

4:41

the main feed people who are not Patreon

4:43

people, you are going to still get the

4:46

same 100th episode, which we view

4:48

as very special. It'll be the first time

4:50

we'll do the intro live. We'll do it

4:52

while it's happening. Then we'll just start taking

4:54

callers. Yep. You will see what happens on

4:56

the live one. The main one too. Well,

4:58

maybe we won't do a lot of trends,

5:00

but if we did one, you

5:03

know, we just do the hour and a

5:05

half. And if there's, if it's sloppy, it's like it's

5:07

live to tape. It's a little cycle. Yeah. Yeah. Cause

5:09

a lot of times we will do some trims. We'll

5:11

cut some stuff up and just see what happens. Garfman,

5:14

will you be drinking that evening? Yes.

5:16

Yes. I will make sure to have, yes, I will

5:19

not be driving, but I will be drinking. Yeah. You

5:21

know what we could do on a night like that.

5:23

Oh, also we have the trust. Do

5:26

you still, you don't do drugs anymore. Do you? My generation

5:28

does. Yeah. What's your generation? How old are

5:31

you for real? I'm a, I'm a,

5:33

I'm very curious. I know you, I know you

5:35

do a lot of skincare and hair stuff. I'm

5:37

a zennial. Look younger. I'm a zennial. How old

5:39

are you? I am 31 31 years old. 31 years old. Uh-uh.

5:46

30. So if you're, I'm

5:48

only 33. We became friends

5:50

20 years ago. Yeah. I was 13. I was

5:53

near. I was 13. Remember how, how,

5:55

how are you hanging out with? Yes.

5:58

Do you're saying I'm a criminal. for

6:00

being your friend. Not a criminal, but certainly

6:02

an old weirdo. That's

6:04

me. I all agree with that. Even

6:06

though we're the same age. Our dynamic

6:09

is very similar to the neighbor and

6:11

Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. You're that

6:13

old weird neighbor. And I'm the kid.

6:15

I'm the little puppy. By the way,

6:17

that's the new Robert and Barbara. The

6:21

old guy shoveling in Macaulay because you're always home

6:23

alone. Because I was terrified of you for most

6:25

of the movie, but at the end of the

6:27

day, I kind of need you. All

6:29

right, so listen, join us for our 100th. We're

6:32

very, very excited. And thank you,

6:34

everybody who's come along with us on

6:36

the 100 and continue to tell people it helps

6:38

us out. But we're very excited. So enjoy

6:41

this frickin' episode. We're

6:45

all laughing further ado. Hello.

6:52

Hi there. Let's party.

6:55

Welcome to We're Here to Help. You're

6:57

on with Jake. You're on with Gareth. You

6:59

got a problem? We got to solve them. Hi.

7:02

Where are you calling? I'm here. Wait,

7:04

did Gareth just come up with a new

7:06

Gareth catchphrase? What? You got

7:09

a problem. We're here to solve it. If you have

7:11

a problem, I love it. To solve them. I

7:14

think that might be the new don't

7:16

look it up for a while now. Wow. You're

7:18

trying to get me off. And don't look it up. I'm trying.

7:22

The people love it. What's

7:25

the people love it? Jake's over it. I just don't

7:27

I don't get it. It's true. What

7:29

do you call it from? I like movement, Gareth. I

7:32

like change. I'm going from Denver. Denver,

7:34

the best. What's your name? Yeah,

7:37

I miss you, Gareth. You got to come back. I

7:39

am. Don't worry. I got something. Tell me what happened

7:41

between you guys. Jake, I don't think

7:43

that's what happened. She's a mess. You Gareth, you

7:45

got to come back. I got some. I got

7:47

something in the. Yeah, yeah. Ask him. He didn't

7:49

show up for our date. Ooh,

7:52

but he's got something in the works. Problem.

7:54

I'm just. I'm

7:56

going to be in trouble. I like this

7:58

call. How old are you? roughly. You

8:00

should 2028. I

8:03

remember. And what's your name? Way too young

8:05

for Gareth. I'm

8:07

a kid. Would you stop two

8:09

decades? I'm a punk kid.

8:11

You told me on your online profile that

8:13

you're 32. I

8:16

am in my heart. I am in my heart. I am 32.

8:19

When I go to the doctor, he's a

8:21

he's goes, what? Get out of here. That's

8:23

that's what happens when I go to my

8:25

doctor. Different tone, though, the way he's saying

8:27

it. No, yeah. Get out of here. No,

8:30

nobody said take your pants off. Get

8:32

out of here. We have to ask you to

8:34

do that. All right, doctor, finish what you started.

8:38

And a bunch of tongue depressors fall out of my pocket.

8:41

OK, so you're Denver, you're from Denver, you're 28.

8:43

And what name? What's your name? What are we

8:45

calling you? My name is

8:47

Jenica. Jenica. Sure. Is that a

8:50

real one? Yeah. Yeah, real

8:52

name. OK, I like a real one. All

8:55

right. What's going on? What can we help you with? So

8:58

I'm a personal chef here in Denver.

9:02

Yeah, it's fun. I like it a

9:04

lot. But the problem I've run into

9:07

is I can't remember

9:09

my recipes at all. I'm kind of

9:11

just making everything up as

9:13

I go for. I mean, I

9:15

have a lot of regulars and I

9:17

can't repeat them. Smoked a

9:19

lot of pot, Jenica. No,

9:22

I don't. I would be a nice excuse,

9:25

though. What happened? So you just

9:27

you improvise a recipe and then you can't

9:29

remember it? Exactly. Yeah.

9:31

And I've been doing that from the start. I've

9:33

been a personal chef for four years, but cooking

9:35

for about 10. And that's kind of how I've

9:38

always done it. And it wasn't

9:40

a problem until I started getting regulars.

9:42

And now they want me to repeat

9:44

things. This

9:46

is easy for me. You're an artist. You're

9:49

not. This is it. This isn't fucking hotel

9:51

art. You're not going. You're

9:54

a real artist. And they go, can I get that

9:56

Mac and cheese? You want that again? Go to TGI

9:59

F's. You want Jenica's

10:01

work? Sit your fucking ass down.

10:03

Give me 20 minutes in the front of the

10:05

stove. I'll put something in front of you. But

10:07

I'm not going to go three ounces of this,

10:09

two ounces of that. I'm not taking you to

10:11

Flavortown, bitch. How? Wow. So

10:14

every day, you get aggressive, obviously. I

10:17

love you. So let

10:20

me ask you this. Have you ever had

10:22

a situation where you've tried to recreate the

10:24

person's been like, this is not what I

10:26

asked for? Yeah, it's

10:28

kind of a joke, but now

10:30

it's starting to get uncomfortable because they'll

10:32

be like, oh, wow, this dinner

10:34

was so good. Can you repeat? Oh, wait, you won't

10:36

be able to repeat it. You don't know what you

10:38

did tonight. Oh, yeah.

10:41

And then I'll try it. Right. You must

10:43

be a great cook for them to be comfortable

10:45

with you not being able to hit the

10:47

same target. I have

10:49

an idea. I think I'm not bad. Yeah, I

10:51

got an idea. And writing it down. If your idea

10:54

is writing it down, I have thought of that. And

10:56

I cook three times longer. No, I

10:58

have a different idea. So

11:01

I used to work in the in

11:04

the restaurant game. And in

11:06

the restaurant game, there's a bunch of people, you

11:08

know, doing a bunch of jobs. Yet certain people

11:11

just cut the carrots, other people set in the

11:13

table, what have you. But a lot of people

11:15

are trying to work their way up to some

11:17

position. And there's probably a lot of people in

11:19

Denver who are very interested in being a personal

11:22

chef. They just don't know the path to

11:24

how to do that. So I

11:26

would find an apprentice, aka an

11:28

intern. And what their job

11:30

to do is to watch you while

11:32

you're doing it, assist you and write

11:34

down what you're doing. And

11:36

at the end of the night, so when you're going, they go,

11:39

what is that? And you go, what? They go,

11:41

how many cups of salt? You got a cup.

11:44

They write it down. So in the end, what

11:46

am I making? A

11:49

very dehydrated person. Yeah,

11:52

I mean, as you can tell, I

11:57

go to I go to flavor town. I don't cook myself.

12:00

Cup of salt. I

12:02

was going to say two and then I felt like that was insane. And

12:04

that is that I believe is that you are. Well,

12:07

you know, funny. Apparently one

12:10

cup of salt since then. It's a

12:12

lot. But the idea of an intern,

12:15

the idea of an apprentice writing down, because I

12:17

think we're going to have to get Jenica is

12:19

we got to write these down, but you can't

12:21

write and cook because you're Jackson Pollock. You're

12:23

just trying to paint on a wall. You can't stop the

12:25

flow. It's going to taste terrible. Mm

12:28

hmm. I think that one. So

12:31

I did have an assistant for a while

12:33

and for kind of the same reason. I

12:36

was like, I need someone to kind of

12:39

watch my back and kind of watch what I'm

12:41

doing because I'm a little bit of a shit

12:43

show sometimes, like the food's good, but everything behind

12:45

the scenes is kind of a disaster. So you're

12:47

kind of here to ground me. And

12:49

she ended up being crazier than me and to

12:54

fire her. And so now

12:56

I'm kind of scared of firing an assistant

12:58

after that experience. She was a lot.

13:01

Yeah, I get that. Are you making? But

13:03

I could try again. Are you making good

13:05

money doing this? I'm

13:07

I'm starting to I had like

13:10

major imposter syndrome when I started. And

13:12

so my prices were very low when

13:14

I started. Now I'm finally

13:17

three years in and raising. Are

13:20

you trying to save it? She doesn't save any of the money,

13:22

though. She throws it right out the window on her way home.

13:24

Yeah. Whatever

13:26

they pay me in cash. I don't know when I start

13:28

driving, I just throw it out the window. I don't know

13:30

how much I got. I don't know what I got paid.

13:32

I don't know what I got. And I don't know how

13:35

much I have. I don't have a place to live. I

13:37

just driving circles. Well, I started

13:39

in L.A. And I was such a people

13:41

pleaser there that because I worked for a

13:43

company that had personal chefs and they had

13:46

a strict budget for us. And sometimes I

13:48

would go over budget and just pay out

13:50

of my own pocket. That's how bad I

13:52

was in L.A. By the

13:54

way, you're the best. You're the best. I

13:57

was like, I did not have good food. Do

14:00

you try to promote yourself through social media

14:03

and shit? Is that yeah,

14:05

I I tell I started but I

14:07

got a lot of people through Instagram when I started

14:09

now I'm pretty bad about it But well, what if

14:11

we what if we did a version of this because

14:13

I a lot of times will see like a recipe

14:15

online And I'll be like oh, that's great And I'll

14:18

just click the link and someone will show a video

14:20

that is literally like 90 seconds

14:23

of how they made something So

14:25

what if you did a version where you

14:28

kind of make a video that helps promote

14:30

you? But also is it shows

14:32

you how much you're using in each recipe

14:34

and you could just go back and watch

14:36

your shit and be like, oh, yeah, I

14:38

do it like a tablespoon of paprika here

14:41

and That might be

14:43

a way to lock it. I was leaning towards

14:45

actually was my idea. So I'm

14:47

not sharing that Unfortunately,

14:49

I didn't know you had that idea. So go

14:51

ahead What

14:57

did you do in Denver? Did you forget

14:59

are you Jenica the chef but with sex?

15:01

I Did

15:04

something great she said come back I don't remember what I

15:06

did in the sack And

15:10

that's when I'd say get an intern have somebody

15:12

write it down what it was I doing here

15:14

you said I was wonderful I had no idea. I

15:18

Thought about grabbing a camera to

15:20

like my chest with a GoPro

15:22

when I'm cooking at people's houses

15:24

So then I go see but

15:27

I just I feel like that would kind of freak

15:29

them out in their own house It

15:31

would well, I think I think I think what you would want to do

15:34

Yeah the reason why I asked about the money

15:37

is because what I would do is I would

15:39

take like a day or two days

15:41

and Just whip together

15:43

some of your best recipes to throw them online

15:45

have someone film them have someone edit them and

15:48

Literally have them just cut down to like

15:50

90 seconds and then you can just get

15:52

a refresher on your top 10 or 15

15:55

And you just have them for you for now,

15:57

but then you could start posting them over time

16:00

help promote you Can I ask a question about

16:02

that? Because that is a good solution. But can

16:04

I ask a question, Jenna? Is part of it

16:06

when you're cooking, you're improvising? Yes.

16:09

It's pretty much all on the spot. It's

16:11

kind of a nervous habit. Yeah,

16:13

but also, but she's an

16:15

improviser. Yes, but when you're

16:17

cooking something, part

16:20

of the pain in the ass is just like, I

16:23

mean, what she needs is she needs to kind

16:25

of get them locked into her memory. If while

16:27

she's doing this, she can throw on her 90-second

16:29

recipe, put in one air pod, and just go,

16:31

oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. She'll start

16:34

to lock some of these in, just at least

16:36

for the top 10 or 15 that you need

16:38

to recreate. But I think you're trying to get

16:40

her to create a set. And

16:45

I think she is more of a true,

16:47

she gets in the kitchen, and she needs

16:49

to get inspired. And if they go, we

16:51

want lamb chops, I don't think she wants

16:53

to go, here's the nine ways to make

16:55

a lamb chop. Yeah. I

16:58

mean, I could use that as a base. That's

17:00

kind of what I mean. I think it's more like, I

17:03

think it's all well and good. Like, you're

17:05

talented enough where people are going like, oh,

17:08

you're whatever. If you could recreate it, but

17:10

that'd be great. But I think in your

17:12

business, you probably do want to be able

17:14

to offer consistency. So it is kind of

17:17

like a funny quirk. But

17:19

I do think you also are like, people are

17:21

probably going to be like, yeah, that was not

17:23

what we want. Like, there was no saffron in

17:25

it or whatever. So this is a way to

17:27

maybe just edge you in that direction a little

17:29

bit, like get you a little bit closer to

17:31

that. And then you can have the

17:33

freedom to experiment and shit. But it's

17:35

also good social. It's good promotion, too. Because a

17:37

lot of times you see this food porn, and

17:39

you go, you click on it, you go, oh,

17:41

fuck, I want to make that. Yeah. So now

17:43

I regret not getting into the Instagram game earlier,

17:45

because those are pretty cool videos. But you can

17:47

now. Start whenever. It doesn't matter. We started a

17:49

podcast 40 years after podcasts. We were ready for

17:52

that. That's a good point. Seriously. This is my

17:54

favorite now. So that's a good thing. So

17:56

I've got a question for you. How many

17:58

dishes would you consider? are your base? Okay.

18:02

But the other problem is I

18:05

rarely repeat. It's just all over

18:07

the board. Every cuisine because

18:10

every client I have is so

18:12

different in what they like. So

18:15

that's why a lot of this

18:17

improvising is happening because some like

18:19

really spicy food, some like this type

18:21

of cuisine, some want to be

18:23

really healthy. You know what I mean? How many clients do you

18:25

have? I have

18:28

seven regulars a week and

18:30

then the rest. Seven regulars a

18:32

week is solid business, Jenica. Well,

18:36

why don't you lock in, would

18:38

you say they all have a favorite? Not

18:40

really. They kind of like having

18:42

various things. Very interesting. Yeah,

18:45

every once in a while they'll love something and they

18:47

want me to make it again. So that's kind of

18:49

the problem is when that happens. So

18:52

why don't you do this? Why don't you,

18:54

after you cook something that someone loves, why

18:56

don't you really do this? You write away,

18:58

write down what you think you did and

19:00

then you recreate it through a video. You

19:03

can use that for some social media shit and that's a way to

19:05

sort of have a version of it locked in. I

19:09

think you can kind of get something out

19:11

of this as well as locking

19:13

in some of this shit. You

19:15

know what I really think, Arith, is we're trying to put a band-aid

19:17

over an axe wound because

19:20

part of it is every

19:22

client, she changes depending on

19:24

their mood. So she's intuitive.

19:26

You're an emotional chef. You're

19:29

feeling what's happening in the moment. You're going

19:31

with your gut instinct. If

19:34

it's acting, there are certain actors like this and these

19:36

are my favorite. You're pretty

19:39

memorized, but you're also in the moment. Whatever

19:41

is kind of happening, you're reading the scene.

19:43

But that's like saying to somebody, remember how

19:45

you improvised the other day? Can you do

19:47

that exactly the same? And the answer to

19:49

that is no. But

19:51

the difference is they have an editor.

19:53

Miles Davis had to go into a

19:56

recording studio and have hit like it's

19:59

different when you're talking about. food because you

20:01

have a final product that is like you

20:03

can be like this is crazy what happened

20:05

but it's like crazy Jenica's a great chef

20:07

miles Davis whatever he's gonna do on that

20:09

trumpet you're gonna leave that cool club in

20:12

the village and go miles did miles but

20:14

if you go can you do exactly what

20:16

you did December 14th 1962 you

20:18

go don't you know what's my house Davis

20:20

yeah but then you go here I'll play

20:22

it for you right here in a 90

20:24

second clip this is what you did well

20:26

but she's calling because this is a problem

20:28

that's fair she's calling because she wants help

20:30

getting consistent so Jenica what's happened on this

20:32

call is we've become the two sides of

20:34

your brain yes so I

20:37

am the more to your brain I mean

20:39

we're making you more confused because we've entered

20:41

inside of your headspace this call is not

20:43

really happening this is a dream you're having

20:46

this isn't real life this is just inside

20:48

your head you knew the call when you

20:50

wake up tomorrow you're gonna call in and

20:52

we're gonna be doing shark take jokes about

20:54

owning your business but this is just a

20:56

dream and in this dream I'm part of

20:58

your subconscious that thinks you're doing

21:00

you and it's working and Gareth is saying

21:02

let's have a plan so now you take

21:04

the wheel a little bit and say what

21:07

do you specifically really want is it you

21:09

want to devise a plan to organize

21:11

this or are you just calling to say this is the

21:13

issue is there a way out because

21:15

I like doing it the way I do but

21:18

it's a bad feeling when it's

21:20

like a fancy client

21:23

and they're looking at me why can't you

21:25

repeat that dish you know I mean it

21:27

just feels unprofessional at this point it was

21:29

cute the first couple years and

21:31

now it's like alright get your shit together and

21:33

that's kind of what I think I look I

21:36

think you have you're gonna have the freedom to

21:38

fuck around always but I

21:40

think what you need to do is to

21:42

lock into some of this stuff you know

21:44

you just have to play within your system

21:46

and you have been able to improvise your

21:49

way around and it's gone great it's true

21:51

but I do think why

21:53

not like literally for

21:55

yourself just make 10 or 15

21:57

things record Have

22:00

them cut down. It'll help promote your shit. But

22:03

it also is a way for you to just go, I

22:06

can return basically to something that is

22:08

a winner. And you can build out

22:10

from there. Let me pitch to you,

22:12

Gareth. Okay. Just

22:14

as the other side of Jenica, because as

22:16

you're saying that, I'm starting to fucking sweat.

22:19

Okay. Rather than do 10 to 15, can

22:22

we start with three dishes? Sure.

22:25

So, Jenica, can we pick three of

22:27

your main dishes or desserts and

22:30

lock those in and make little videos of them. Do

22:34

a live stream. Just

22:36

put it, it doesn't have to be a 90

22:38

second edited thing with some like cool song to

22:40

it. Just film it,

22:42

have it. Fucking

22:45

even if you don't put it online. If

22:49

you did three, what would those three dishes be? There'd

22:52

probably be some sort of curry in there.

22:55

Some sort of. No, no, it's some

22:57

sort of has to fade away. Some sort of

22:59

is the problem. Salt.

23:04

It's kind of, it's going to be, I'm

23:06

already big with it. It's going

23:08

to be some sort of thing, but definitely not a couple

23:11

of salt. An Indian dish that I'll

23:13

figure out at a later time. And then it's

23:15

going to be some sort of a dessert dependent

23:17

on the client. So you're

23:19

going to do three specific dishes.

23:22

And then you're going to rewatch that

23:24

and write down all the ingredients for

23:26

it. Is that correct? Yeah.

23:30

We're, we're asked where this is just tomorrow

23:32

morning. You're going to call in the

23:34

show and have a different call. This is just a

23:36

weird dream. So is this, if you

23:38

don't want to do it, you don't have to do it. This is a dream.

23:41

If you want to have sex with Brad Pitt,

23:43

bring him in. You

23:45

what? You're going to write it down after the video. You said nothing.

23:48

I don't need, I don't think I need to. I

23:50

think making a video alone should be enough. Nope.

23:53

Are you going to watch the video? Oh,

23:56

um, yeah, I

23:58

will. I

24:01

think we're OK. What you need

24:03

to do is memorize some of your recipes

24:05

and you could either write them down and

24:07

you could like make a little cookbook for

24:09

yourself or something like that. But you do

24:11

need to lock them in. If you're going

24:13

to film yourself and not watch it, there's

24:15

no point in filming yourself. You

24:18

kind of need to like I

24:21

mean, again, just based off of what you're

24:23

saying, I we're not in the fucking culinary

24:25

world at all. So what the fuck do

24:27

we know? But I understand that if someone

24:30

ordered a specific service and you

24:32

came over and it was not what they asked

24:34

for them being like, I might not use this person

24:36

again. So I think you

24:38

just at least need to for

24:40

your clients, just start to know what

24:43

they like. And I think,

24:45

yeah, I do think you can promote

24:47

yourself while doing that, whether

24:49

it is doing a live stream or it is

24:51

just filming yourself and having someone cut it just

24:53

for you, whatever it is, something like that. But,

24:56

you know, if you want to go out there

24:58

and fucking be Miles Davis, then go. They

25:00

want to curry. Who the fuck knows what they're going to get?

25:03

Now, I like the video idea. Will you

25:05

send it to I have? I guess.

25:07

And I have one other pitch. It's

25:11

party. There's these glasses

25:13

that are Ray Van glasses that

25:16

record. Would

25:18

that be weird if I was wearing those?

25:21

No, those are great. Yeah,

25:23

if you were a GoPro on your forehead, you're

25:25

a goofball. That's what I mean. Yeah. But if

25:27

you just had at least look like glasses, they

25:29

don't look like. I'm trying to cut that strap

25:31

for a fake. And guess what? If they go,

25:33

if somebody walks in and goes like, I don't

25:35

like your glasses while you're cooking, that's a weird

25:37

person. You're allowed to wear what you

25:40

want while you cook. Now, even if you did a GoPro,

25:42

it's fine, but it would just be a little bit like,

25:44

how much are my house you fill in? I

25:46

also kind of like the idea we

25:49

could you could get again. I'm not

25:51

trying to like I'm like in my

25:53

mid 30s. So I can't pitch like,

25:55

you know, how how I can pitch

25:58

over a. I

26:00

can't admit that. No, I'm not relaxed over the.

26:02

Kelly's in his mid 30s. So Gareth was born

26:04

in the 70s. I

26:07

know that is Jake. Gareth

26:11

was in his 20s when cell phones came and

26:13

went like these things suck. Oh my God. This

26:16

is not about me and it's not we're having fun. My

26:19

middle school present. Okay. We're

26:22

all having a laugh here, but I am definitely

26:24

I play younger and that's great. What

26:27

I was going to say is. You play with younger and I think

26:29

it's. Social. Play

26:31

with some of the. On edge. Effect

26:33

of this can be retained because you

26:35

could do like POV chef videos. Agree.

26:39

You could do like you're the POV cook or

26:41

something like that. You could film

26:43

these. You could store it and you could have

26:45

that fucking cut together and use that on. You're

26:47

exactly right. So I think

26:49

where we're really at, Jenica is do the funky

26:51

glasses for sure. Maybe that's even better than doing

26:53

it at home. Cause for some reason, I don't

26:55

think that's going to like actually work the way

26:57

we hope it is. Yeah. But

27:00

if you go to arrest, if you go to a place and

27:02

you store them all, even if you don't

27:04

do the promotion and then somebody goes, Hey, that

27:06

chicken curry thing was delicious. You go. I

27:10

know what video it is. I just got to watch it. I'll

27:12

do that again beforehand. And you

27:14

just store all those things and just make sure you

27:16

label them. Cause what you don't want to

27:18

have happen is you haven't labeled them. And then you're

27:20

not going to label them. You can already tell you're

27:22

not the kind of person who's going to give these

27:24

files. Jenica, you

27:27

have to label them cause you can't

27:29

go, they

27:33

wanted me to make some that was there

27:35

three months ago. I have like a hundred

27:37

thousand videos. I'll never know. Just label them

27:39

and they, them, the date and

27:42

what you made. Get a hard drive, order a

27:44

hard drive. Get it. This is easy.

27:47

Label them. You have them. Are you going to

27:49

go now? I don't know if you know, 2020

27:51

put it on www.the internet.hotmail. You

27:55

guys are having fun, but I am. Child

28:00

the glare from the your bald spot

28:02

is shy and my eyes old man.

28:05

I am a child Gareth likes pickleball

28:10

Jake cuz he says it's good for

28:12

my knees and I get to be active with my

28:14

friends I'm sorry that I love

28:16

low impact socialize you just do too

28:18

hardcore for you Gareth. Did you? I

28:24

can't believe I'm trying to help you. Yes And

28:27

also Jenna gets way too hard for my body it's Mind

28:32

you that he heard his back

28:34

stretching not a lot of times

28:36

Jenna gotta get off this call

28:38

also tackled dummy in his fake locker room

28:41

He has a little porn set in his garage with

28:43

a little tackle dummy. See how defensive he gets old

28:45

guys are the worst This

28:56

episode is brought to you by

28:59

hero bread hero bread is something

29:01

I love on Father's Day My

29:04

wife said what do you want for breakfast?

29:06

And I said French toast with hero bread

29:08

so I don't have to feel guilty about

29:10

the carbs and it was Delicious,

29:12

so I like the bread. I like

29:15

the Hawaiian rolls. I like

29:17

the tortillas. I am a

29:19

genuine fan Hero breads healthy

29:21

or sliced bread and tortillas will fit into your

29:24

health goals Just ask the hunk with a little

29:26

bit of chunk Kevin. What problem does hero bread

29:28

solve for you? I'll tell you what it solves

29:30

for me. I get my fiber.

29:32

I get my taste and it truly taste

29:36

Good keep the carbs out of

29:38

summer without compromising flavor with hero

29:40

bread get 10% off

29:43

of your order at hero Co

29:45

and use code help at

29:47

checkout. That's help at hero

29:51

hero.co Take

29:54

my word for it tastes genuinely good

38:00

And then he was like, well, why don't we just

38:02

have sex? And I'm like, that's weird.

38:06

After that, and then a couple days later,

38:08

I'm just let's just have sex. And

38:10

then, yeah, when if we're rating it

38:12

out of 10, it might seem like this is for

38:14

nothing. But sometimes we mine these fields and a little

38:16

bit of gold comes out or we get our answer.

38:19

If you were to write the night of sex with

38:21

Dave out of 10, are we talking a seven? Five.

38:24

I'd say seven. Wow. Okay. That's

38:28

these. I'd be happy in a seven. No,

38:30

boy, I'll tell you what. No, here's the Garth man

38:32

and JJ. We

38:34

would be bragging about a seven. Seven

38:36

Everest, especially with the six minutes of

38:39

goofing around. I mean, of our

38:41

seven, that's five minutes of goofing around two

38:43

minutes. The six

38:45

and three is a 10. So the

38:47

two different POVs of like, it was nothing to

38:49

write home about. It was only a seven. If

38:51

someone told me I'm a seven, I'm writing to

38:53

everyone I know. I'm sure

38:56

writing home. I'm being like,

38:58

use my real name on

39:00

this podcast. Oh, God. Okay.

39:04

So now things are awkward

39:07

and he just keeps sending you nudes. See,

39:11

this is why hooking up with someone, it's

39:13

high stakes if you hook up with someone

39:15

that close to you in proximity. Don't

39:17

shit with me. But

39:20

as I've said, I will if it's on a hotel. But

39:23

it is weird. So why don't you say what

39:25

your question is just so we know clearly. I

39:28

guess the other aspect to

39:30

this is I work in hospice and

39:35

this man does not work. And

39:37

oftentimes the photos are coming

39:39

through at like mid

39:42

afternoon. Like there

39:44

was one that came through while I

39:46

was sitting bedside with somebody dying and

39:48

their family while getting them admitted. Oh,

39:51

you turn on the story. Yes,

39:53

yes, yes. Dave,

39:55

your timing is terrible. Awful.

39:58

Yeah. So

40:01

I guess my question is,

40:05

do I just continue to let this play

40:07

out? No. Or

40:09

how should I put it to

40:11

an end? I think we, first

40:13

of all, we have to end it.

40:15

You can't be getting unsolicited, unwanted nude

40:17

pics. It's out of control. It's

40:19

simply out of control. Yeah, outside of the job. It's unacceptable

40:21

we gotta end this. Even if it wasn't a job. The

40:23

job part to me, yeah, the job part to me is

40:26

almost irrelevant because it's like, it could be a good scapegoat,

40:28

but it's like you could have your phone in your pocket.

40:31

The issue is that you live close to

40:33

him. If he lived in, you

40:35

know, if he just lived on another area, who gives

40:37

a shit? Yeah, you can just kind

40:39

of deal with it, block his number, whatever. I

40:42

think you need to probably try to do

40:46

something to stop it. Question. Well,

40:49

that's why she's calling. We're gonna do something. We're

40:53

not reading her diary entry. She's calling

40:55

into... I think we're just, this is

40:57

just some friends chatting. Yeah, we're figuring

40:59

it out. Maybe not. Maybe new

41:02

podcasts, friends chatting. Friends chatting. I got a

41:04

new one goofing around. Six-three,

41:06

goof around. So I

41:08

got a question for you. So after the sex, where

41:11

do you think Dave felt? Was Dave thinking that's a

41:13

10 out of 10? Is he thinking this is the

41:15

beginning of a little love story between me and this

41:17

lady? Where do you think his head was? Or is

41:19

he just sending you pics going, let's do that again.

41:22

Maybe we can have sex while someone's sleeping near

41:24

us. Where do you think he's at? You know,

41:26

really hard to get a read on that. He

41:30

had inquired about around two. However,

41:33

never took any action on it. He

41:38

also said it was fun. It was a good time. But

41:42

it's otherwise just been the

41:44

nudes. When he inquired

41:47

about it, what was your reaction? I

41:51

had actually attempted to initiate

41:53

around two multiple times and

41:55

he is not. for

46:00

you if he said tonight after

46:02

work, wanna round two, what

46:04

would you say? I would

46:06

have questions for him. What are the questions?

46:09

What the fuck have you been doing in the past month?

46:13

I'm a weird guy. Not

46:16

you, Jay. Oh, but that what have you done?

46:19

Joelle, are you saying? Yes, you had.

46:21

Go ahead, Garth. Are you asking for us to repair

46:23

this? No, you want us to just figure out how

46:25

to get out of this? Yeah,

46:29

I mean, essentially, my

46:31

thing is the the nudes got

46:33

to stop if we're not having.

46:36

Yeah. Yes, you had. Go ahead, Garth. Are you

46:38

asking for us to repair this? No, you want

46:40

us to just figure out how to get out

46:42

of this? Yeah,

46:45

I mean, essentially, my thing

46:47

is the the nudes

46:50

got to stop if we're not having

46:52

sex again. But let's stop with the the

46:54

random nudes. Yeah. So we just got to

46:57

figure out. We got to get away from

46:59

this. So how about a

47:01

very simple right down the

47:03

middle text to

47:05

them right now. Hey, pal, cool

47:08

cool with the nudes. Don't know if

47:10

you know this. I work in hospice. Helping

47:13

people enter the other world, consoling

47:15

their family. Don't need

47:17

to see your hog. Peace.

47:23

Peace. That's that's the building. But you know, that

47:25

would do for me and my

47:27

little turtle will go right back in the shell

47:29

and would not come out for photos. This is

47:31

just no more goofing around for

47:33

that little guy. No, he's done goofing around.

47:36

I think that the problem is he's right there.

47:39

I think you OK. I

47:41

mean, I like that because I definitely think that

47:43

what that would do is if I did receive

47:45

that and I would be like, oh, shit, I

47:47

got it. I would be like, I got to

47:49

start. I'm sorry. I'll say I'm sorry. Yeah, I

47:51

would be like, I'm sorry. I also think you

47:53

could come up with. There's

47:55

a funny play. OK, the

47:58

funny play is when he started. texting

48:00

you nudes, just start

48:02

texting like screenshots

48:05

of cartoon characters from Looney

48:07

Tunes. And just

48:09

see what that does. How far you can

48:11

go. Or you could also do, you could

48:13

send nudes of animals. Or

48:15

you know what else you could do. You could send a

48:17

chimp out with it. Because it's kind of weird shit. That

48:20

way you're not, you don't have like... Take away ads. I

48:22

think you're right, Gareth. Take away the sex of it. Send

48:25

them like a photo of like a black hole that just

48:27

looks like a butthole. You know, they'll have those like science

48:29

pics where you're like, I guess that kind of looks like

48:31

a butthole. Where if he sends you a photo, you just

48:33

send him that. Just start doing it

48:35

and see what that does. Then

48:38

I think if it

48:40

persists, whatever, escalates, whatever,

48:42

I think you always have the option of saying

48:45

that you've kind of started to

48:47

see someone a little bit. Yeah, we can end

48:49

on seeing somebody, but I got another one for

48:51

two. And this might really end it because I

48:53

know it would for me. And

48:56

it's too adjacent. What

48:58

if every time he sends you a pic, you

49:00

send a thing of Austin Powers where he goes like

49:02

a little gift where he goes like, yeah, baby. And

49:06

you send the same one. How

49:08

about Obhave? Obhave, yes. That's even

49:11

just do the Obhave because he'll

49:13

send it expecting you to do like an

49:16

open mouth tongue sweating. And if it's Obhave,

49:18

he'll be like, first of all, cool

49:21

it. I don't like that

49:23

response to me being totally naked. It'll

49:27

put a little shame in the

49:29

game. It'll definitely throw him off

49:32

and it might lead to more.

49:34

But then everyone just gets an automatic

49:36

Obhave. Okay, okay. I

49:39

like that. I definitely I like the weird route.

49:42

I like that. I think there's just it helps

49:44

you just be like it

49:47

just helps make it all a bit sillier because it

49:49

is kind of fucking absurd. It's really hard to know

49:51

what the fuck he wants or is thinking. But if

49:53

you no longer want anything out of it, then the

49:55

stakes are kind of removed. So yeah, I would just

49:58

go that route. I would just start doing. and

50:00

see and then leave long gaps don't

50:02

respond to some of them just kind

50:04

of let it float out there for

50:06

a while hopefully it'll stop the thing

50:08

that I just thought of yeah is

50:11

what if you tell him that all

50:13

your shit just got hacked okay

50:20

so now I mean you could say you

50:22

say that if you say that you say

50:24

all my shit just got hacked they have

50:26

everything they're still in my phone yeah you

50:28

know that you do that you

50:30

send it you send it to us

50:32

and a couple other fake people but

50:35

it's a group text yeah saying hey

50:37

yo I'm so sorry to tell you

50:39

this my phone my

50:41

email everything has been fucking hacked

50:44

it's really embarrassing it's really annoying if you

50:46

get any strange emails just anything you've sent

50:48

to me I'm really sorry but this is

50:50

going around it's becoming a really don't send

50:53

me I think they're still in my cloud

50:55

so don't send me anything anything important or

50:58

please don't send me any credit card information

51:00

any family this stuff is going

51:02

on the dark web it's really scary

51:05

I'm so annoyed so please

51:08

nothing personal for a while nothing if you want to

51:10

show me anything or give it to me do it

51:12

in person oh and then if

51:14

you want my boyfriend and I are trying

51:16

to figure this out all

51:19

right so now back to you caller we've

51:22

given you a lot of great options what

51:24

are you thinking of doing I

51:26

like the the gift sending reactions

51:29

to the responses what

51:31

kind of gift I can ascended I

51:34

like the idea with the

51:36

consistent gift because that's just

51:38

a two-tap send you tap

51:40

yeah oh that's a title two

51:43

taps and oh okay but I

51:45

agree with that it's nice and easy and

51:47

I'll tell you if you've received the same

51:49

gift for the fifth time it gets scary

51:53

yeah it'll be weird and then so you're

51:55

gonna do the gift are you gonna what do you think

51:57

about the hacked idea it feels like a

51:59

lot of work That's

52:01

a play for if this gift idea

52:04

doesn't work. That's a surprise. You can

52:06

almost claim it on the hackers. Yeah.

52:09

After calling into a podcast for help on it, one

52:11

simple text feels like a lot of work. Literally

52:14

we wrote it. We've

52:17

already given it to you. Here's my question to

52:19

you just because I'm curious. We're getting off. We're

52:21

going to get off soon and you're going to do the gifts

52:23

and it's going to work if it doesn't and try the hack

52:26

because that will work. What does this

52:28

guy have to do to have another round two with you

52:30

at this point? Ball

52:32

is so far in his court and

52:36

he's just got to not be weird.

52:38

He's got to take the initiative and

52:41

just go for it. As a

52:43

man who doesn't know you, I wouldn't go

52:45

back in for anything at this point. He

52:48

wasn't? No. He's right

52:50

next door to you. If he's fucking

52:52

asking to bang you while your friend's

52:55

sleeping there, it's strange.

52:58

There's some weird shit here. I

53:00

think you can find better meals off

53:02

reservation. I wouldn't keep eating. I agree.

53:05

Yeah. I'm going to go with Gareth on this

53:08

one too. Yeah. This is why the only

53:10

time you should shit where you eat is if you're in

53:12

a hotel room. Like we always say on this podcast, title.

53:15

Listen, Joel, keep us posted on how this

53:17

works out. I'm curious about

53:19

this one. Yeah. Because I

53:22

think let's get you out of this weird

53:24

little situation. And really quickly before we go

53:26

off, you really don't want to just

53:28

write the hacked text. That will

53:30

end it. The GIF, you're going to, it's the weird one

53:32

and it will lead to more weirdness. Why don't we

53:34

do this? Why don't you GIF it up for a little

53:37

while? And if that doesn't work,

53:39

call back in. We'll compose the text

53:41

fully for you. We'll send

53:43

it. And then we'll go from there with a

53:45

third follow up and see what that does. Okay.

53:48

Does that make sense? Yeah. The

53:50

hacking tech is I, it's been

53:53

a couple of days since receiving the last

53:55

one. Yeah. So it's

53:57

okay. I want to hold off for a minute.

54:00

Okay on that one. That's my plan B. All

54:02

right. I think it's a great plan B. Wait

54:04

Well, good luck and thank you for what you

54:06

do at hospice. It's a it's a really meaningful

54:08

job that you do. Absolutely Thank you.

54:10

I appreciate that. All right. Good luck to you. All

54:12

right Sucked up person.

54:14

Thanks And

54:22

we are brought to you by Manscaped

54:24

listen, we love manscaped

54:27

here You know

54:29

what it's for You know keeping that

54:31

another area pretty clean high and tight

54:33

as I like to call it as

54:35

they call it manscaped the boys Downstairs

54:37

which makes it sounds like your body's

54:39

a duplex, but I'm okay with that

54:41

So join the 10 million men worldwide

54:43

who trust manscaped with our exclusive offer

54:45

You can get 20% off and

54:47

free shipping when you go to manscaped.com Listen,

54:51

I don't want to get too graphic

54:53

but before manscaped we were living in

54:55

the dark ages You'd go

54:57

down there. You'd you'd want to shorn it

54:59

up a little bit, you know, and you'd

55:01

get cocky You'd maybe be looking at your

55:03

phone while you're doing it and next thing

55:05

you know You got to go to an

55:07

emergency surgery or something. It's a sensitive area.

55:09

So treat it wisely Okay,

55:11

so listen to me this summer

55:13

get 20% off plus

55:16

free shipping with the code Gil

55:18

sent me at manscaped.com This is

55:20

a precious area. Just follow our

55:22

lead That's 20% off

55:25

and free shipping with the code

55:27

Gil sent me at manscaped.com And

55:30

I'll say it it's smooth sack

55:32

summer. Okay, they forced me to

55:35

say it. I'm saying it. It's

55:37

smooth sack summer Okay, so now the cats

55:39

out of the bag. All right, manscaped has

55:41

helped many of us. So join us get

55:43

on board manscaped.com

55:49

And We're

55:51

brought to you by rocket money Rocket

55:54

money as we've talked about is a

55:56

personal finance app that finds and cancels

55:58

unwanted subscribers descriptions, it monitors your spending,

56:01

helps lowers your bills, all these things

56:03

so you can grow your savings. I've

56:06

talked on the show before about how I

56:08

was paying for a Packers radio station that

56:10

I got one day for a playoff game,

56:13

and turns out they'd been getting $7.95 a

56:15

year from me until

56:18

Rocket Money was like, hey, buddy, I don't

56:20

think you use this anymore. Technology's

56:23

advanced. But Rocket Money has

56:25

over 5 million users and has saved

56:27

over a total of $500 million in

56:31

canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year

56:33

when using all of the app's features.

56:38

So, stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel

56:41

your unwanted subscriptions by going

56:43

to rocketmoney.com/help. That's

56:46

rocketmoney.com/help. rocketmoney.com/help.

56:54

This episode is brought to

56:57

you by Mando. Mando

56:59

is a deodorant that we all use here

57:01

at the show. Kevin, especially. Kevin, are you

57:03

a Mando man? I need it with the

57:05

gym now that I'm going. I'm sweating a

57:08

lot more than I normally do. So I

57:10

come up, I got my Mando, I got

57:12

my water bottle. Let me tell you why

57:14

Mando's especially good, especially for guys like Kevin

57:16

who are always in the gym. Mando

57:19

doesn't cover up odor after the fact

57:21

with heavy fragrances like other deodorants. It

57:23

stops the odor at the source by

57:25

blocking the bacteria on your skin from

57:28

eating your sweat, which

57:31

is the actual cause of B.O. and

57:33

that is disgusting and I did not

57:35

know that. So what does this mean?

57:37

It means that Mando is clinically proven

57:39

to control odor for up to 72

57:41

hours. New

57:43

customers get $5 off a

57:46

starter pack with our exclusive code. That

57:49

equates to over 40% off

57:51

your starter pack. So use

57:53

code here to help at

57:55

shopmando.com. S-H-O-P-M-A-Y. and

58:02

deal Hey,

58:07

everyone. Producer Kevin here, the original call from

58:09

this next follow-up aired on March 14th. It's

58:12

called, Are You Going To Do This Madness?

58:14

and it's the first call from the episode.

58:16

So if you'd like to listen as a

58:18

quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy. Hello!

58:23

Hi! Welcome to We're Here To Help. Is

58:25

this your first time calling or is this

58:27

a follow-up? This is a

58:29

follow-up, gentlemen. Is

58:31

this Connor? This is

58:33

Luke. Not Rubik's

58:35

Luke. This is Suits and Wigs

58:37

Luke. Suits and Wigs! Great.

58:40

How was the party, Luke? Oh,

58:43

man, it was great. I gotta tell ya. So

58:47

tell us. Basically,

58:52

we helped you kind of figure out your

58:54

annual party you were trying. You started with

58:56

Suits and Wigs. We put

58:58

you on social media. We were trying to

59:00

promote you as best as possible. So

59:03

you had your first annual Suits

59:05

and Wigs party and boy, did

59:07

it sound like the details were

59:09

about to explode out of your

59:11

mouth. Let me tell ya. Let

59:14

me tell you long pause. Let's

59:16

hear it, buddy. How'd it go? Yeah,

59:18

it was great. I gotta give a

59:21

special shout out to Caitlin because she

59:25

really put together that website last minute. But what

59:27

had happened was, you know, we had the

59:30

call and you guys were very

59:32

generous and offered to you

59:34

know, make the website and then...

59:36

Squarespace. My two friends that I was

59:38

gonna do it with, yep, South Squarespace. We

59:41

were like, well, you know, we still have nothing

59:43

going on the night that we were originally gonna

59:45

do it. We decided

59:47

to just have a trial run ourselves anyway.

59:49

We went out in Sherman Oaks to a

59:52

few places and and

59:54

had a great time. You know,

59:56

we were doing vids that immediately got a

59:58

lot of attention and then And like three

1:00:00

weeks later, I got the email from Kevin,

1:00:04

who was like, uh, yeah, we're going to air

1:00:06

the call in the morning. And, um, you have

1:00:08

pictures from your event. Uh,

1:00:10

I was like, well, wait a minute. Where are

1:00:12

you guys supposed to make

1:00:14

the website and do all that? And he's like, yes,

1:00:16

you're right. Um, the website will be done in the

1:00:18

morning. And

1:00:21

so thanks for putting me on blast Luke.

1:00:23

It's great to have with you as always

1:00:26

Kevin's face. I agree. Gareth.

1:00:31

I did. I got, I got to say

1:00:33

Gareth, I got tense. I was like, yeah,

1:00:35

it's happening. His face

1:00:38

was like a kid who'd painted all over

1:00:40

the walls and the parent just came home. He

1:00:42

was also on the verge of violence. So

1:00:48

it's actually a testament to the whole

1:00:50

team because right heaven and Kaitlyn and

1:00:52

everyone just, uh, really put together and

1:00:54

did a great job promoting the event.

1:00:57

So, um, once I had access to

1:00:59

the, to the website, we started going

1:01:01

through the emails and we

1:01:03

were, uh, we didn't know what to really

1:01:05

expect because by the time

1:01:07

of the actual event, there was close

1:01:09

to a hundred RSVP. And

1:01:12

once it was over 50,

1:01:15

we knew that we would have to kind of call

1:01:18

an audible and change the location. And

1:01:22

so many people, but then

1:01:24

Pat, I had

1:01:26

a connect at season brewing and

1:01:29

shout out to them because then I was able to

1:01:31

contact their manager and we shut all up, but I

1:01:33

was still a little like, I didn't know if he

1:01:35

would really be game for this wacky

1:01:38

idea. And so I kind of downplayed what it

1:01:40

was. I said, yeah, it's a group of friends.

1:01:42

We're, we're kind of networking. There could be around

1:01:44

30 or so, but we're networking.

1:01:46

You're going to show up in suits and

1:01:48

wigs. Ask

1:01:52

you more questions. You kept asking more questions and I

1:01:54

had to be like, yeah, we're going

1:01:56

to be in weird costumes just to let you know

1:01:58

there's suits and wigs. We loved it. Luke,

1:02:01

I want to share a photo of exactly

1:02:03

what you're describing right now, which is very

1:02:05

funny. So for the audio

1:02:07

people, we're looking at a group of people

1:02:09

in suits and wigs. Is Luke in

1:02:11

the middle there, Kevin? Do we know? I'm

1:02:14

in the gray suit with the pink tie. All

1:02:16

right. Well, I don't think we see you in

1:02:18

this picture, but we're looking at a bunch of

1:02:20

people around some tacos and in front of it,

1:02:22

it says, reserved for networking night. Yeah,

1:02:25

we got there and it said

1:02:27

networking night. Oh, there we go.

1:02:30

And so how many, how many people, oh, that's fine, man.

1:02:32

How many people did you end up getting? Oh,

1:02:35

there's Luke. It was close to, uh, the final,

1:02:37

final number was about 40. That's

1:02:39

great. Wow. That's a

1:02:42

real first annual, man. And

1:02:44

was it a bunch of new people you hadn't met? You

1:02:46

got some babes there. Yeah, that was the other thing. We

1:02:48

had, yeah, we had no idea because

1:02:50

there was about 15 of us that knew each other.

1:02:53

And then we, you know, we were trying to have contingency

1:02:55

plans of, okay, if there's some weirdos, you know, what are

1:02:57

we going to do? And you guys

1:02:59

are the weirdos. You're the

1:03:02

architect weirdo. You

1:03:04

guys all in wigs and suits. We don't want

1:03:07

any creeps showing up. Keep

1:03:10

your eyes open. There could be a lot of weirdos here tonight.

1:03:13

No, everyone, everyone brought the best vibes.

1:03:15

There was a group of about eight

1:03:17

friends that came from, uh, from Torrance

1:03:20

and a shutout. I believe her name

1:03:22

is, uh, Tammy. We

1:03:26

were trying to convince her that she needs

1:03:28

to email the show because she has a

1:03:30

wild problem about how she speaks German in

1:03:32

her sleep. Well, Luke, shout out

1:03:34

to you for the most shout outs

1:03:36

on a follow up phone. Without

1:03:39

question, I think you're on three to four shout

1:03:41

outs so far. So shout out to you. Shout

1:03:43

out New Balance for being on my feet at

1:03:45

the party. Shout out beer for

1:03:47

making me so drunk that night. Shout out my

1:03:49

parents. Shout out sex. Shout

1:03:52

out to you guys. Eric Elstein.

1:03:55

Jake, I go a little bit ways back

1:03:57

with Eric. He always had a... Luke,

1:04:00

Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, we love you.

1:04:05

We love you, Luke, but this call has to end.

1:04:08

It's a follow up and it's devolved

1:04:10

to you just doing shout

1:04:12

outs, like a radio station at 11.45 PM. We

1:04:17

really appreciate it. And you're going to do, you're going

1:04:20

to do another one next year, right? Yeah.

1:04:22

We talked about it. There's a couple of

1:04:24

girls that came from San Diego. They want to make their

1:04:26

own. Shut up. It's summer. Yeah.

1:04:29

Shut out them, Shayna. And yeah,

1:04:32

it's painful. Your

1:04:38

advice was, your advice was maybe mixing up

1:04:40

the theme every year. Yeah. And

1:04:43

you talked about that. I got to say the group, the

1:04:46

group thought, you know, maybe it's just suits

1:04:48

and wigs. They seem to really have a

1:04:50

whole. Suits and wigs seem to really work.

1:04:52

Shout out to your original idea. I mean,

1:04:54

that's, that's just. But also shout out democracy.

1:04:58

And shout out pivoting for being able to

1:05:00

stick to the original plan you came in

1:05:03

with. Shout out squarespace and shout out commuting

1:05:05

from San Diego for a party. Shout out

1:05:07

to Shayna and whatever name is. And shout

1:05:09

out Shayna and whatever name is for saying

1:05:12

we're going to do another one. Yeah,

1:05:15

honestly. Yeah. Yeah. Shout

1:05:17

out to them for sure. Shout out to bars for

1:05:20

being open and shout out to whoever's in that hotel

1:05:22

room with you that you're getting in weird fights with

1:05:24

during the call and trying to make weird dad icons.

1:05:27

Shout out to privacy symbols for being ignored in

1:05:29

your hotel. Shout out to those. What is the

1:05:31

point of them? Shout out to them. By the

1:05:33

way, a good bit could be in hotels, walk

1:05:35

around, and if someone's got a privacy sign, just

1:05:37

take it off all the darndles. I've honestly thought

1:05:39

about it. I honestly think

1:05:41

in my time I have not had one in

1:05:44

my room and take them one off of someone

1:05:46

else's for my own. The only problem with that

1:05:48

bit. Shout out to them. Shout out to them.

1:05:50

Shout out to the bit. Shout out to the

1:05:52

maids. The only problem with that would be I

1:05:55

would feel really bad for the maids. Everyone would

1:05:57

get so mad at them and they're like, I

1:05:59

just did my job. And they're like, oh, I

1:06:01

wanted privacy. I'm doing yoga. Shout

1:06:04

out to yoga. Anyway, Luke, shout out to

1:06:06

you for having a great shout out to Jitsu. Shout

1:06:09

out to Jitsu. Shout out Shakes back. Hopefully you

1:06:11

can recover from your stretching ordeal. Shout

1:06:14

out Jake's little weird locker room dummy. Shout out

1:06:16

Renekajoke. Shout out Jake's little

1:06:18

weird tackle dummy that he keeps in his little weird

1:06:20

fake locker room set that looks like he films porn

1:06:22

in it. Shout out to that. And shout out to

1:06:24

you, Luke, one more time, man. Thanks for calling. Shout

1:06:26

out to the follow ups. And

1:06:29

shout out for all that. So keep us posted on the

1:06:31

next one. And shout out to that call when that happens.

1:06:34

Thank you so much, bro. Hey, buddy. Hey,

1:06:36

buddy. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy.

1:06:39

Hi, everyone. The original call from this next follow up

1:06:41

aired on May 23. It's

1:06:43

called You Have to Follow Up. And it's the

1:06:46

second call in the episode. So if you'd like

1:06:48

to, you know the rest. Enjoy. Hello.

1:06:52

Welcome back to the show. We're here to help. We

1:06:55

know that you had one call with us, but we don't know what

1:06:57

it was. So why don't you tell us what your first call was?

1:07:00

I am the chef from the

1:07:02

West suburbs of Chicago. Oh,

1:07:05

this is great. Yes. So

1:07:07

you're the chef who basically had

1:07:09

a, your

1:07:11

boss was influenced by

1:07:13

another restaurant's Instagram and

1:07:15

kind of kept jamming

1:07:18

their thoughts and recipes down your

1:07:20

throat. And you feel like it's

1:07:23

just kind of taking away all the creativity

1:07:25

you wanted as a chef. Something like

1:07:27

that, right? Yes, sir. Nice

1:07:30

call, Gareth. OK, yeah. Well, surprise.

1:07:32

And then can we get your name

1:07:35

and then just to remind

1:07:37

us of that? My name is

1:07:39

Eric. Eric, and then what

1:07:41

was our advice to you? How did we

1:07:43

end it? What were you going to

1:07:45

take? What did you get excited about?

1:07:48

You guys told me to try to get them blocked by

1:07:51

the other restaurant on Instagram. We

1:07:54

can't listen to our own podcast

1:07:56

with fresh ears, but this sometimes

1:07:58

feels like it. And

1:08:00

when they tell us what we pitched and what they

1:08:02

went with it, I'm like, well, it's insane. I

1:08:05

will say while we're in the calls, I

1:08:07

feel when we finish, if people saw how

1:08:09

confident we were, and then the response is

1:08:11

always like, these idiots give the worst advice.

1:08:14

And I'm like, what show are they listening

1:08:16

to? Yeah, we're like NASA in the 90s.

1:08:20

After the call was, boom, another

1:08:23

lunar module has landed. And

1:08:25

then when we hear it back, we're like, wait, we just threw

1:08:27

a ball of foil at a wall? So,

1:08:31

Eric, you tried to get

1:08:33

blocked. What happened? Will you walk us through it? So

1:08:36

the day after the call, the

1:08:39

owner, I think I called him Bill last time.

1:08:42

Yeah, makes sense. Decided to

1:08:45

edit the entire menu and

1:08:47

roll out summer specials, which

1:08:49

both of those edits roll out on

1:08:52

Wednesday. Oh, so

1:08:54

you don't know what they're going to be? No,

1:08:56

like I've spent since

1:08:58

the day after the call till yesterday

1:09:01

developing recipes and writing

1:09:03

a whole new menu

1:09:05

and re-pricing everything. So

1:09:08

I never actually got to enact the advice, but

1:09:10

I figured I'd follow up because it's a

1:09:13

huge win. Is that a win for us or just

1:09:15

for him? No, I think that's a win for you,

1:09:17

Eric. That's what you wanted, right? Yeah. Yeah.

1:09:21

So I got a lot of input on

1:09:23

this one. I am still forced

1:09:25

to do something

1:09:27

as, or Bill's win.

1:09:30

Right. So the day

1:09:32

after the call, I go into work and

1:09:36

he has, what he tells me

1:09:38

is his mother's family recipe for

1:09:40

Chex-Mec. And

1:09:43

it is a printout from a website

1:09:47

and he holds it up and

1:09:49

reads it to me like it's a child's book and

1:09:51

tells me that his mom's been making it for him for

1:09:54

years and years and years and years. Hands

1:09:56

me the recipe. I look at the date on

1:09:59

the recipe. from when it was published on the

1:10:01

website, December 23rd, 2023. Seen

1:10:09

live by Eric. Super weird. I

1:10:11

mean, buy Bill. Super weird stuff.

1:10:14

What is the recipe for, is the Chex

1:10:16

Mix at all interesting? No.

1:10:19

No, it's not. And

1:10:21

then we, I made

1:10:23

the recipe, I priced it out for him. He

1:10:26

didn't like the pricing of

1:10:28

it. So we are

1:10:30

ordering a pre-made mix and

1:10:33

adding more pretzels to it because pretzels are

1:10:36

cheap and golden

1:10:39

grams. This is weird.

1:10:41

It's a weird follow-up, right, Dick? Yeah,

1:10:43

but also, I mean, he

1:10:45

owns the restaurant, right, Eric? Yeah. Yeah. He

1:10:47

owns the restaurant. He owns the building. He

1:10:49

can do whatever he wants. It's fine. At

1:10:52

least this is the thing that I'm getting

1:10:54

divorced. Yeah, but he's like, I

1:10:56

like this weird Chex Mix. I'm going to

1:10:58

pretend it's a family recipe. Who cares, right?

1:11:01

It sounds like you kind of work for

1:11:03

John Taffer on Bar Rescue where there's some

1:11:05

cheesy ideas, but who cares? Yeah. Yeah,

1:11:08

I would say that. And

1:11:10

you get to roll out your own menu soon,

1:11:12

which is kind of what you wanted to begin

1:11:14

with. In some ways.

1:11:16

Yeah, that's Wednesday.

1:11:18

It comes out. Yeah. So in

1:11:21

some ways, even though you

1:11:23

didn't listen to anything of the call because you didn't

1:11:25

have to, an old saying

1:11:28

that we've been saying that's been passed down from

1:11:30

our grandparents was that sometimes we

1:11:33

pitch, you got to run

1:11:35

a mile to go a block.

1:11:39

And Jake, I'll be honest, this feels like one of those. Yeah,

1:11:41

because we did all these weird pictures. Tell them why. We spent

1:11:43

30 minutes. And in

1:11:45

the end, you got to make the menu.

1:11:48

You're making it. Oh, Gary. Oh, sorry. Because

1:11:50

in the end, you're not

1:11:52

copying this other restaurant. Yeah. So

1:11:55

they have been technically blocked. In

1:11:58

a way. In a way. There's

1:12:00

another part of it and the other

1:12:02

part of it is It's

1:12:05

not public knowledge, but we are going

1:12:08

to be opening another location So

1:12:11

now he is browsing the Instagram

1:12:14

of all of the restaurants in the area of

1:12:16

the second location But

1:12:18

I but I also think you could frame this as a

1:12:20

win Because split his attention

1:12:23

on another place. Let's get him in

1:12:25

that He's gonna be off on another

1:12:27

place for a little while, too Something

1:12:29

a lot of people have said about sometimes the

1:12:32

advice we give here Eric is sometimes we're

1:12:34

gonna make you run a mile to

1:12:37

to walk a block and This

1:12:39

kind of feels like one of those to us Yeah

1:12:42

It just feels like you know You

1:12:45

work for kind of a cheesy guy and you might be

1:12:47

too good of a chef for these restaurants Because

1:12:49

I got a feeling he's gonna be

1:12:52

saying he's gonna be creating some version of flavor

1:12:54

town at one of these restaurants It's

1:12:56

gonna be checks mixed to like weird

1:12:58

jalapeno poppers And you might just want to

1:13:01

get out of there at a certain point if you can once

1:13:03

you see the word donkey sauce and

1:13:05

writing it's time to Go

1:13:08

float that resume to other places. Oh,

1:13:11

we're close. We have an awesome sauce and

1:13:13

awesome So

1:13:15

he's copying he does your place does

1:13:17

your place serve alcohol? Yeah,

1:13:20

I actually shared the links to

1:13:22

my place and the restaurant from

1:13:25

the other call to Kevin We

1:13:29

are a brewery is there a drink on

1:13:31

the menu that's totally blue No,

1:13:34

luckily, no does he have bleach blonde hair that's

1:13:36

spiky a go tear and he wears sunglasses on

1:13:38

the back of his head He drives around in

1:13:41

a red convertible Actually

1:13:44

the describe him best imagine

1:13:46

a mildly Republican Santa That's

1:13:49

guy theory He's

1:13:53

got a team guy yeah,

1:13:56

Eric, I think the move is you need to

1:13:58

make fake Instagram account of

1:14:01

restaurants in the area with

1:14:03

recipes that you like and then send them

1:14:06

to Bill and say, hey, check this out, this

1:14:08

one actually looks pretty good. That way you

1:14:10

can just make what you want. Yeah, that's interesting. I

1:14:12

don't like the attainment at the end with the best advice.

1:14:14

Yeah, you know, it could be fun. Yeah, go ahead, Eric.

1:14:18

Oh, I was gonna say, I'm just extending

1:14:20

the offer that if you guys are ever

1:14:22

in the West Chicago suburbs, fun, I will

1:14:24

feed you if you come into the restaurant.

1:14:26

I love it. Great. Here's

1:14:29

just another pitch going off of Kevin's that's probably

1:14:31

more trouble than it's worth, but it could be

1:14:33

really funny and it could be fun for you.

1:14:36

What if you created a

1:14:38

full fake restaurant and

1:14:40

you sent it to us and

1:14:43

we tried to get our followers on Instagram to follow

1:14:45

so that you got at least like 500 followers

1:14:49

and you just took photos and you

1:14:51

made recipes of all the food you

1:14:54

wanted so that hopefully he

1:14:56

followed it and then was copying. It

1:14:59

starts following him. Yes, all of a

1:15:01

sudden it follows the restaurants and then

1:15:03

you catfish him. And

1:15:07

then out of that, it's all the

1:15:10

food you want. So hopefully he goes

1:15:12

to you and goes, you know, my

1:15:14

mother had an old recipe for this

1:15:16

turkey meatloaf thing and you go like,

1:15:19

uh-huh. And then

1:15:21

he just is copying your

1:15:23

ideas. I like that. I'm

1:15:25

really into this idea. Because that could

1:15:28

be really fun for you. If you

1:15:30

send it to us, we'll have Caitlin

1:15:32

on social media. Just ask some of

1:15:34

our followers to follow so that it's

1:15:36

got some legitimacy, but let's

1:15:38

create an entirely fake, however,

1:15:41

maybe we'll go to Squarespace and

1:15:43

see if we can make a website for this restaurant. I

1:15:47

mean, is this something, Eric, you would want

1:15:49

to spearhead if we kind of created a

1:15:51

thing. We create a fake restaurant. We create

1:15:53

a fake menu. You would have to run

1:15:55

the menu obviously, but we would try

1:15:57

to, we could probably help with Squarespace. We can get

1:15:59

a- website kind of set up and

1:16:02

see what we can kind of do, see if we can get this guy

1:16:04

copying you. I'm

1:16:06

super into this idea. I think we can do

1:16:08

this. I think so too. Kevin, can you maybe

1:16:11

see if Caitlin can run point? That

1:16:13

and people pointed out

1:16:15

since your episode has come out that

1:16:18

the restaurant that has 35,000 followers

1:16:21

that your boss keeps copying only

1:16:23

has like 15 likes of

1:16:26

posts, kind of lightly being accused of buying some

1:16:28

followers. So if you need to do that for

1:16:30

your new one, just saying, it

1:16:32

seems like it's fooled him before. Interesting. I

1:16:36

didn't even notice that. Okay. It's

1:16:40

a good thing to have in your back pocket the

1:16:42

next time that he's showing you some of the stuff

1:16:44

or being like, they do it right. Be like, yeah,

1:16:46

they also buy followers. Yeah. Of 35,000 with 10 likes.

1:16:50

I have a wild pitch. Who is

1:16:52

this guy? You're in Woodridge, right? Am

1:16:54

I allowed to say that? The restaurant

1:16:56

is? Yeah. So my

1:16:58

grandma lives in Woodridge. I'm going to

1:17:00

try to pitch to my dad to

1:17:03

bring my grandma to the restaurant and

1:17:05

maybe like loudly talk about this new

1:17:07

place while he's there,

1:17:10

while your boss is there. This

1:17:12

is a shocking pitch. Shocking, Kevin.

1:17:15

Kevin, we didn't know you had boots on the ground. I

1:17:18

only didn't realize you were a mad

1:17:20

person. You're going to get your grandma

1:17:22

going, I love Rocky Mountain. Say

1:17:25

it again, Graham. I don't think he went

1:17:27

to the bathroom. Say it again. I'm looking

1:17:29

at a map. Dude, I know exactly where

1:17:31

your place is. My dentist, my childhood dentist

1:17:33

was across the street. My family's going to

1:17:35

have a damn field day at your place.

1:17:37

Can we get the dentist there too? Yeah,

1:17:40

I'll call it. This is the weirdest Kevin

1:17:42

I've ever seen. Looking

1:17:44

at locations near the CSI in the restaurant.

1:17:49

Enhance. So

1:17:51

Eric, what do you think about creating a

1:17:54

fake place? It kind of seems like you're

1:17:56

almost out of the woods on this, but

1:17:59

maybe there's a way to... catfish this guy and get

1:18:01

exactly what you want, but it would take work from

1:18:03

your end. Is that something you're actually interested in doing

1:18:05

or you got too much work making the menu as

1:18:07

is? Honestly, I've already started

1:18:09

on brainstorming ideas while

1:18:11

we're talking. So I'm

1:18:13

into making a fake restaurant. I think

1:18:16

this is an interesting play. And if

1:18:18

we catfish him, the dream would be

1:18:20

this guy and you as the guy

1:18:23

DMing back and forth where the dream

1:18:25

would be him trying to court you.

1:18:27

You know what this could be, that

1:18:30

song, if you like Pina Coladas, you

1:18:33

know, and then in the end it was you all along.

1:18:35

Oh my God. All of us. What

1:18:38

Kevin? My dad's been to your restaurant before. What

1:18:42

is happening? It's almost

1:18:44

like two podcasts are being recorded. There's the

1:18:46

one that Jake and I are doing and

1:18:48

then there's the one that Kevin's doing. Kevin,

1:18:51

what the fuck? And Kevin's is amazing. All

1:18:53

right, go ahead, Kevin. When was

1:18:55

the last time you were there? I'll ask.

1:18:57

I asked my mom, have your dad been to

1:18:59

this place? My mom says, dad has not me.

1:19:02

What the fuck is this

1:19:04

crazy? So we're going to

1:19:06

get it's OK. So we're going to create a

1:19:08

fake Instagram for you. Kevin. Oh my

1:19:11

God. My grandma loves the wings at this place. This

1:19:15

is by far the most the

1:19:17

follow up has ever felt like the first call. It's

1:19:21

so much more work to do. Can we wrap this

1:19:24

up? Or are we waiting to figure out what your

1:19:26

dad ordered? We

1:19:28

can wrap it up. She is

1:19:30

responding to the last time he was there. Go ahead.

1:19:33

Kevin's dad is there right now. Last

1:19:36

summer dad's the boss. Kevin's going to

1:19:38

go, oh my dad, my dad just

1:19:40

bought a restaurant. He kind

1:19:42

of sucks. Right when I took over.

1:19:44

Yeah. All right. He

1:19:46

likes it. He said it was cool. Oh, really?

1:19:49

I'm done. That's all I got. Wow.

1:19:52

Eric, follow up with us again. Kevin

1:19:55

will follow up with you too about the Instagram account.

1:19:57

And maybe we can start building this thing and see

1:19:59

what we. can do. Great. Sounds good

1:20:01

to me, guys. Thanks so much. Good luck. Talk

1:20:03

to you soon. Yep. Thank you. Talk to you

1:20:05

soon. See you. Bye. Hey

1:20:08

there. Jumping in after the episode,

1:20:10

Eric made the Instagram it's called

1:20:12

snow caps and taps. The

1:20:15

link for it is in the description. Please if you

1:20:17

have an Instagram, give it a follow. We really want

1:20:19

to blow this thing up for him and would be

1:20:22

really fun. So thank you and

1:20:24

bye. We're

1:20:29

here to help is hosted by

1:20:31

Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The

1:20:33

show is produced and edited by

1:20:35

Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer

1:20:37

and editor is AJ McKeown. Our

1:20:39

social media director is Caitlin Tonwaukeo

1:20:41

and our video editor is John

1:20:43

DeBruhe. The theme song is made

1:20:45

by Oliver Raleigh and you can

1:20:47

check out his music at Oliver

1:20:49

raleigh.com. That's Oliver R.A.L.L.I. The

1:20:52

album artwork is by James Fostike. You can

1:20:54

find him on Instagram at James underscore Fostike

1:20:56

D I K E and if you'd like

1:20:58

to see me do stand up on the

1:21:00

road, go to Gareth reynolds.com. Additional artwork by

1:21:02

Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram

1:21:04

at P A D D Y Holland 2004.

1:21:06

And if you'd

1:21:08

like early access to episodes subscribe to

1:21:11

our Patreon at patreon.com/here to help. And

1:21:13

if you'd like to be on the

1:21:15

show, email us your question at helpful

1:21:17

pod@gmail.com. All the advice given on

1:21:19

we're here to help us for entertainment purposes only

1:21:22

and all listeners should be adults and make their

1:21:24

own decisions.