0:11

Katie. Alan.

0:15

Am I

0:17

a pretty bird? You are a pretty bird? Am I a pretty bird?

0:19

Are you a pretty bird? Am I a pretty bird? You're such

0:21

a pretty bird. Oh, with

0:23

your pretty whistles. Pretty bird. Are

0:25

you such a pretty

0:27

Jesus? I'm a beautiful blonde

0:30

blue-eyed Jesus. He is a

0:32

beautiful blonde blue-eyed Jesus. What

0:35

is happening?

0:37

We're talking about a movie of your choosing.

0:39

I don't know how this happened. I genuinely

0:41

don't know how this happened. You basically just

0:43

hit like random on the internet.

0:45

It was like, have you seen this? I was like,

0:47

nah, nah, I haven't. The

0:50

Visitor. 1979. Written by. Yeah. A

0:55

video G. Osanitis.

0:57

You are doing this just for fun now, aren't

0:59

you? Well, how would you pronounce it?

1:01

I don't know. I didn't even look at it. The

1:06

director of one beyond

1:09

the door. Did we do that?

1:11

Yes, that's the one that's the

1:13

exorcist spoof. With

1:16

the guy from deep red as

1:18

the dad and he

1:20

gets accosted on the street by flute players.

1:23

Yeah, I remember that now.

1:26

Why did they have those? Why were they just playing those

1:28

flutes? Sorry. Yes. It's

1:34

so funny with these people think America is.

1:36

I mean, truly.

1:38

I'm looking at the cover art for

1:41

Beyond the Door and I'm still like, I'm not

1:43

so sure. Oh, you seen it.

1:45

We did it. It was released in the

1:47

United Kingdom in an extended cut under the

1:49

title Devil Within Her. But that to me

1:51

is the Joan Collins movie. Yeah, but the

1:54

Joan Collins movie decided to have every movie

1:56

name ever. In Star Wars. So

2:00

good. Speaking of

2:02

Star Wars. This

2:05

movie starts off on a foreign planet. With

2:08

John Huston, who I would listen

2:10

to read the fucking phone book. His voice is

2:13

just butter to me. It is. He

2:15

had a smooth silk. And for all you youngsters

2:17

out there, he was the voice of Gandalf in

2:19

the Hobbit cartoon. And that's all

2:21

I can think of when he talks. Cute. He

2:24

looks like Gandalf. He's got a Gandalf look about him. Yeah.

2:27

I think in the movie they dressed him up like Obi-Wan

2:29

Kenobi from Star Wars. Yeah, Rob said, oh

2:31

look, Obi-Wan Kenobi. And I said, I don't know

2:33

what that means. And he said, yes you do.

2:35

And I said, yeah, I do. Did

2:38

you say Obi-Wan can blow me? No, I

2:40

didn't. No, I didn't. He's

2:44

got a meeting in the middle of

2:46

a desert planet. Yes. With

2:48

liquid clouds or something. Or something. It

2:50

looks like the movie Wizards. Have you ever seen Wizards,

2:53

the cartoon? Yeah. That's

2:57

a Ralph Bakshi classic, if I remember correctly.

2:59

Is it? I believe

3:01

so. Okay. And who

3:03

does he meet in the desert? An oatmeal child, I

3:05

think? I was like, oh, who

3:08

did figure? Is this E.T.? What is happening

3:10

here? No, it's an oatmeal child. It's

3:12

a living snow angel with

3:14

no eyelids. What is this

3:16

thing? Truly,

3:19

what is this thing? It's

3:21

a representation of Crainey

3:24

Collins, as John Huston says. Okay.

3:29

Okay. He's kind of doing like

3:31

a chicken dance, and then she's kind of walking

3:33

backwards and disappears and you're like, huh?

3:36

It's so funny because he's so uncomfortable because

3:39

they're blowing, I'm assuming, asbestos at the whole

3:41

time. I mean, no, it's just snowing really

3:43

hard. What are you talking about? He's just

3:45

cold. And it's like sticking to his face. He's

3:47

like, oh, oh, god. Oh, god. It's a

3:49

lot of bull. Oh, god. What happened

3:52

throughout the film? Apparently, Lance Hendrickson referred

3:54

to the film as a real turkey

3:57

and said they only did it for a free

3:59

trip to yells. Italy oh like they like shout

4:01

out the mayor and the governor of the mayor of

4:07

Atlanta and the governor of Georgia at

4:09

the beginning of this movie which by

4:11

the way has no intro music and

4:13

just white text on a back black

4:15

background fantastic Michael

4:18

paradise not your

4:20

fucking name Julia

4:23

but it is see anyway

4:27

we cut to Franco Nero Christmas

4:32

children talking to a bunch of Harry did

4:34

they shave all these yes dude that's a look

4:36

27 bald children wearing robes he is

4:41

blonde blue-eyed and permed

4:43

to the hilt they

4:46

died as beard blonde yeah they

4:49

sure did Jesus I guess

4:52

though he it's never like

4:54

explicitly I think he's Jesus

4:57

Jesus Christ

5:00

Jesus Christ but

5:04

he is credited as Jesus Christ

5:08

and apparently uncredited in this role and I'm like

5:10

you're the second face we see how do you

5:12

get to me accredited apparently

5:15

Kareem Abdul Jabbar is also in this movie uncredited

5:17

yeah there's a whole fucking basketball sequence but he's

5:19

not in it I was like are you sure

5:21

rewatched it this morning to be like where is

5:23

he yeah yeah but then I was like am

5:26

I just being like sportsist maybe he's

5:28

just in the background somewhere maybe

5:32

I mean you'd assume

5:34

because there's a character named Abdul in the

5:36

basketball scene right but it's not great no

5:38

but we'll get to that DeBlond

5:45

Jesus is talking to the bald

5:47

kids it's a lot of backstory

5:49

like I was thinking are these

5:51

children listening better than I am because

5:53

they're probably not it's so much so

5:56

he's telling them about this alien bad guy

6:00

Sat he's saying Satine which

6:03

is a fabric He's

6:10

a great evil man named Naga hide Naga

6:15

hide is a great name for a

6:17

villain. Yeah, write that down copyright that

6:21

He's he's explaining satine

6:23

to the children and I

6:25

was like, okay, so that's like a take on

6:27

Satan She's gonna do for God. Oh, they just

6:30

named him Yahweh commander Yahweh commander

6:32

Yahweh He

6:35

okay. No, it's

6:37

like is blonde Jesus commander Yahweh

6:40

No Jersey, I

6:42

think John Houston. Yeah is

6:45

commander Yahweh, right? Yeah, okay I

6:50

Don't know. I don't know Explains

6:53

how an army of birds take out that

6:55

he an immense army of

6:57

birds Yeah, because he had turned himself into

6:59

a bird, right and

7:02

they take out the bird But

7:04

then he's like with other birds. The only thing

7:06

that can stop a bad bird is a bunch

7:08

of good birds exactly That's what the BRA is

7:10

been telling us for you. No, sorry, it would

7:13

be the NBA the National Birds Where

7:17

the Audubon Society is like, hey, fuck you man

7:22

I Really

7:26

he says at one point like the birds attack him fatally

7:29

in the brain and I was like what

7:32

what does that mean? But

7:34

he had previous to that he had made it

7:36

with many earth women, right? And

7:39

he's transmitting his wicked spirit to

7:42

children through his

7:44

seed The ethnic even

7:47

in a scene I Began

7:49

to worry that this was all the movie was

7:51

this part was so long It was just gonna

7:53

be Franco Nero telling a bunch of bald children

7:55

some story where you're like, I don't know what you're

7:57

saying And

8:01

then Jersey comes

8:03

in, John Houston. Why is

8:05

this his name, Jersey Kolkowitz or something?

8:07

Why? He's Polish. He

8:10

says, my name is Jersey Kolkowitz.

8:13

Call me Jersey. But that's not, that's, my

8:15

name is Katie. Call me Katie. My

8:18

name is Elle. Don't call

8:20

me late for dinner. He

8:24

shows up and everybody in the room gives

8:27

him the stink eye and then they all love him. Yes. Why

8:30

do they look at him like how dare you interrupt?

8:33

And then Franco Niro goes, did

8:35

it happen again? Okay. Yes.

8:39

Her name is Katie Collins. And she's eight years

8:41

old. Even though when we meet her, she'll be

8:43

13 years old. Yeah, that

8:45

child is pubescent for sure. But

8:48

it doesn't matter because right now we're cutting to

8:50

the Omni in Atlanta to see the

8:53

skylights of the movie. Basketball match. The

8:55

late seventies were a great era of

8:58

basketball skylights. Why don't my God, those

9:00

tiny shorts back. Those tiny shorts. Yeah.

9:02

Do it for me. There's

9:04

a, there's a scene where the main

9:06

basketball man Abdul is running down the

9:08

court and his

9:10

thighs are just as jiggly

9:12

wiggly deliciousness. They sure

9:15

are. I could not

9:17

have described it better myself. You

9:20

know what though? It's a lot of basketball. The scene is

9:22

a lot of basketball. I don't want to

9:24

watch basketball. You got it. Yeah. I

9:27

mean, this movie is like an hour and

9:29

45 runtime, so they didn't need this much

9:31

padding. I don't think no, no, no,

9:33

but there's a lot of basketball. They wanted

9:35

to go. They had to

9:37

have an equilibrium between basketball and Franco Nero.

9:40

Okay. Yeah. If they

9:42

did not get that perfect and the whole time

9:44

the basketball game is going, there's

9:47

these violin squeaks. Yeah,

9:49

you could just get basketball sounds, right?

9:53

But I think there's like evil squeaks. Oh,

9:55

okay. Because when we

9:57

see rock star Katie walking through the corner. She's

10:00

so fucking cool. She is so fucking

10:02

cool with her feathered hair and giant

10:04

sunglasses. And then

10:06

she like makes eye contact with

10:08

Abdul and is like, are

10:12

they gonna make

10:14

out what's happening here? I really

10:16

don't know what this scene is

10:18

because she lowers her sunglasses and

10:21

stares him in the face

10:23

and he stares back. Yeah. But

10:25

what do they both feel? I have no idea. I

10:28

don't know. Is he also a child of

10:30

the Satine? Oh, maybe.

10:32

Maybe. But

10:34

I thought we're told that Barbara is the

10:36

last genes of Satine. I think

10:39

so. Because I could not stop saying

10:41

genes of Satines and I thought about making Satine genes

10:43

and what that would look like. You

10:45

know, you wear them. Satine denim. Oh man,

10:47

I would just be like slipping out of

10:49

chairs all the time. Love that. So silky.

10:54

But in this scene we also meet Lance Henriksen. Yeah. Little

10:57

baby Lance Henriksen. Smoking hot in this movie.

10:59

You think? Oh yeah. I do

11:01

not have a thing for Lance Henriksen. Big eyelashes and puffy lips, you

11:03

got me. It's your Killian Murphy thing.

11:06

He's just too ropy for me. Yeah. Too

11:09

ropy. He's hanging out

11:11

with Barbara as his partner. Yes. And

11:14

then Barbara's friend who has my favorite

11:16

hairstyle in this movie. Describe the hairstyle.

11:18

It's like straight, like parted

11:20

in the middle, straight going down and then

11:22

it gets like real, I don't

11:25

know, like border collie. Yeah. Great

11:27

description. Yeah. It's a

11:29

good hairstyle. Great time for hairstyles.

11:31

Just volume, volume, volume. And

11:35

also just a great time for rich people decor. Oh my

11:37

God, I'm obsessed with their home. Their

11:40

swimming pools? Jesus. Which one? The outside one

11:42

or the inside one? The

11:44

outside one that has spikes around it. Yes,

11:46

it's so fucking cool. Okay, but

11:49

Lance Henriksen is the owner of the Atlanta basketball team. The

11:51

Rebels. The what? Try to catch that? Did

11:53

not catch that? No, no, no, no. He's

11:58

being interviewed by the press and talking about it. about how he's

12:00

gonna have an open checkbook. Where does your

12:02

money come from, though? You can't ask that. Where does

12:05

your money come from, though? You can't ask that. But

12:07

where does your money come from? Oh my God. God.

12:10

God. God. And then I thought,

12:12

Bob Netting, owner of the Pittsburgh Buyer,

12:15

it's take note. Open checkbook. Get money from God,

12:17

maybe? Get money from God, maybe. I

12:20

wanna turn this from Loserville back to

12:22

Atlanta. Yeah. What? I

12:25

would like starting pitching, is really what I would like. Anyway,

12:29

there's an exploding dunk also. Can we talk about

12:31

the exploding dunk? Katie

12:33

does that. But. She

12:36

pops the ball. Okay, so the

12:38

ball exploded? Yeah. So she

12:40

prevented them from winning the game by

12:42

making the ball explode. It's 99 to 100. That

12:45

seems like a lot. 100 for the Rebels. And

12:49

the San Francisco Miners. Miners,

12:51

that's right. Not to be

12:53

confused with the 49ers. San

12:56

Francisco Niners on there? Niners. And

12:58

he goes up to dunk it.

13:01

This is Abdul, right? Yeah. And

13:03

we see the ball explode in this poor

13:06

man's face. I'm

13:08

so sorry for him. He's just like, ah.

13:11

That's the scariest part of the movie. So

13:15

after the ball explodes, Katie pulls her sunglasses

13:17

back up. And we cut to

13:20

the scoreboard and we see it not change. He

13:23

did not score. No, man, you can't score an exploding ball.

13:25

We all know that. I mean, and if a ball explodes,

13:27

the game is over. Done.

13:30

Done. No reason. No

13:32

takes, no vaccine. And then it just cuts to people under

13:34

a fur blanket. And I thought, I love the 70s so

13:36

much. You

13:39

know what I didn't need to see? What? Lance

13:41

Henderson's feet. Yeah, real ropey. Ropey. So

13:44

fucking ropey. I've never seen ropey toes before.

13:46

Now you have. Now you have. And

13:49

I think Barbara is gorgeous,

13:51

but I think it's 80% that haircut. I

13:54

mean, she is very beautiful, but it is a lot. Her

13:56

hair is doing some heavy lifting. Oh my God. It's

13:58

like swooping, but feathering at the. same time? It's

14:01

so smooth. How do I get

14:03

that haircut? I think you have to let

14:05

it grow out a little. Huh? Yeah. They're

14:07

talking about fucking... Oh, he calls it making

14:09

love, which of course you know I hate. She

14:12

says that explosion was wild and he said which

14:14

one, the one at the game or the one

14:17

after? And I was like, oh, don't talk about

14:19

your nut that way dog. Don't speak to the

14:21

woman you just nutted in about your nut. Although

14:23

I guess he didn't because she's trying not to

14:25

get pregnant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, you're

14:28

always silent during sex. I thought maybe

14:30

you suck at it. Like, did

14:33

you? He's like, I wish you would be more vocal. And

14:35

I thought like, I don't know. Maybe. Are

14:37

you doing it right? Are you? Are

14:40

you just pumping away? What she's

14:42

supposed to do? I don't know.

14:44

I mean, less, less, less,

14:47

less, less, less, less, less, less, less, less, less, less, less, less, less, less,

14:49

less, less, less, less, less, less, less, less, less. He is a jock jam

14:51

kind of guy in the movie. And

14:53

he's like, give this long speech about like, we're always

14:55

talking about talking, but we're not really talking. It's

14:57

like, shut the fuck up, dude. You're a basketball

15:00

team owner. No one cares about like, your

15:03

deep thoughts. He

15:05

wants her to marry him. I can't marry you,

15:07

Raymond. I'm just seven

15:10

years divorced from my husband. Seven

15:12

years? She

15:14

goes, it'll be seven years. Wait, seven and

15:16

a half? What? That's plenty

15:18

of time. You can move on. And I

15:20

hope I always loved him. I loved him

15:23

so much. Lantaner's like, yo, I just nutted.

15:25

Yes. Don't get. Sorry. And

15:30

then she's like, he's like, you're

15:32

not normal. And she's like, yes, but you

15:34

treat me normal. And I love you for

15:36

that. She seems overly normal. She

15:39

might be the definition of pretty

15:42

basic. And

15:45

then she gets this thing about like, it's

15:47

Katie, she scares me. And he's

15:51

like, you're crazy, Barbara.

15:53

Okay. You suck. I

15:55

hate you. Marry me. Yeah.

15:57

Cut to Barbara going home.

15:59

Why does they have that screen by the front door. Mmm,

16:03

to play Pong on. I

16:05

would just, it would just get in your

16:07

way coming into the house. It's true,

16:09

yeah. Oh yeah, and then

16:11

they have the projecting Pong. Wait, you're not

16:13

talking about the Pong screen? No, no, there's like a

16:17

privacy screen by the front door, like

16:19

one of those holding things. Oh, I

16:21

missed it. Interesting. Yeah, it's really weird.

16:23

That's what doors are for, really. And everybody who comes in

16:25

has to come in and walk around it. I love that.

16:29

Katie has a bird. I

16:32

was wondering, is Lucy old enough to get a

16:34

bird? I'm not fucking taking care of a bird.

16:36

Are we going to be getting peregrine falcon for

16:38

your child? Mmm. She

16:41

really wants a rabbit, and I'm like, no,

16:44

I'm not doing this. They're

16:46

not that fun. And just like, we

16:48

have two cats, you know, just fucking pet those.

16:52

Make them hop. Make them hop. Make

16:54

them hop, and then just leave raisins around the

16:56

house, and you can imitate having a rabbit. Exactly.

17:00

Yeah, we come in, Katie is playing

17:02

Pong by herself because her babysitter has

17:04

fallen asleep. But when we first

17:06

see the babysitter, her arm falls out of the chair. Yeah.

17:09

And then as she's sitting there, she's doing this with her

17:11

hand. Like, she's not asleep. That woman's not asleep.

17:14

That woman's not asleep. Katie says, one

17:16

of these evenings, I'm really going to kill

17:18

her. Get this child

17:20

a therapist, Barbara. Except

17:24

she says, one of these

17:26

evenings, I'm really going to kill her.

17:28

She does. And I love

17:31

her. I want

17:33

a brother. And her mom's reaction to

17:35

I want her brother is, the fuck?

17:39

Yeah. I

17:42

know Lance Henrich has been nothing in or

17:44

near you. He tells

17:46

me about it all the time.

17:49

The explosion afterwards. Shut

17:52

up. My God. Cut to. The

18:03

airport. Yes. The plane empties

18:05

out and then the final

18:07

guest is walked down

18:09

the long hallway by a man who

18:12

looks like a young Captain Kangaroo. There's

18:17

a guitar sting on him. Wow!

18:20

And the music, oh by the way,

18:22

the music in this movie is fucking acidized. Everything

18:25

about this movie is inconceivable. The

18:28

music all sounds like you're ramping

18:30

up to an action news segment.

18:32

Yes! A fire on

18:34

broad streets. Or

18:40

like the intro to a 70s cop

18:43

show where it's like we're working at

18:45

night, you know? The

18:47

night beat. The streets

18:50

of San Francisco. He's

18:52

got a Polish passport. And

18:58

the guy at customs. Wait, I am not

19:00

done talking about this intro because there's this

19:02

guitar sting and he and the

19:04

airline guy come walking off and he

19:06

is, he looks fairly nondescript, John

19:09

Huston. He's an older man wearing like

19:11

neutral tones. He's like in grandfather garb.

19:13

Yes. The airline guy is wearing this

19:16

like head to toe red suit. Yeah, yeah. Captain

19:18

Kangaroo. And I'm just staring at him like, who's this guy?

19:20

Is he a bad guy? And then I looked over and saw that

19:22

it was John Huston walking next to him and

19:25

I was like, oh, he's an extra. Like,

19:28

of course your eye is going to go to

19:30

the man with the afro in the red suit.

19:32

Exactly. John Huston is incognito.

19:35

Oh, you think this was purpose. Yeah. You

19:37

think this is a movie expressing its subtlety. He's

19:40

a subtle man doing subtle things. And

19:43

John Huston is like 87 years old

19:45

at this point. Yeah. And he's just

19:47

like old man walking, which will not be the first time we

19:49

see, or last time we see him just old man walking through

19:51

a movie. He loves the old man walk. Oh

19:55

my God. He goes up to the customs guy and

19:57

the guy's like, is this your first time in America?

20:00

And John Huston goes, yes, it is. And he was

20:02

like, boy, do you have an American accent? Yeah.

20:05

Great question. Great

20:07

question. Damp the password. Go about your

20:09

day. That's it. That's all you got to do. Oh

20:14

my god. Cut two. These are all quick

20:16

cuts. Nothing makes sense. And

20:19

at this point, you've forgotten about Franco

20:21

Nero. Is Jesus, right? Gone. Gone. So

20:24

we go into a shop where a guy is winding

20:26

up this bird. And he's just winding it up.

20:29

Great gift for a child. And someone's

20:31

like, oh, yes, let's give a bird to

20:33

this child, this weird wind-up bird. I

20:35

would love one of us for Katie.

20:37

Great gift for Katie. They

20:40

do such a nice, long linger on him, too.

20:43

Why? Because he does come back in

20:45

a later scene, but it's inconsequential. And

20:50

mom is like, ew, no, do not buy that

20:52

for my child. It's gross and I hate it.

20:54

And he's like, wrap it up. That's

20:59

what you do to friends, kids, though. You

21:02

go to the store, you find the toy that screams the

21:04

most. This one, if

21:07

you hit it, it shoots things. Perry

21:10

of this show's guest fame

21:12

recently taught Lucy how to make slime. So

21:15

thank you, Perry. She

21:18

loves it. Sorry about your carpet. Sorry

21:20

about everything you own. Sorry about your

21:22

cat. Just walking

21:24

around with two cats and stuck to her hand.

21:27

I'm going to rabbit. Cats

21:31

are done. I'm going to rabbit. Why is my

21:33

child Katie Collins age to age? I

21:36

want to rabbit. Mom.

21:38

Mom. SMDH.

21:41

SMDH. Prime real

21:43

estate there in Atlanta, though, this

21:45

abandoned hospital or whatever. Whatever.

21:47

Whatever. Yeah, so some bald dude in

21:50

a track suit comes and grabs John

21:52

Houston. Yes. Then they make an old

21:54

man climb a bunch of steps and hop through a

21:56

window. He looks so tired.

21:59

They're pulling. in this movie where his shoulders are

22:01

very hunched and I think, my god, he's

22:04

exhausted. Yeah. Let this man rest. Let

22:06

this man rest. But also, I hope

22:08

this guy's in a hot tub, you know? I hope he bought a

22:10

hot tub with his money. I do have

22:12

to admit that this movie got

22:14

me, during some of the

22:16

down time in this film, I found myself

22:18

looking at pictures of young Angelica Houston, his

22:20

daughter. Oh, this is Angelica Houston's, I had

22:23

no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Angelica

22:25

Houston. She has a royal smoke show

22:27

when she was a youngster. Like

22:29

in Spinal Tap. Yeah.

22:32

When she built Stonehenge. It's written

22:34

right here on a napkin. 18

22:36

inches. It says it right here.

22:38

This movie ever made. I

22:42

have so many notes that say making this

22:44

old dude climb steps. Yeah, I mean, it's long.

22:47

There's so much down time. So

22:49

they get to the roof of this abandoned building.

22:52

What? And he looks around, there's

22:54

a long scene of him looking around, and

22:57

then a long scene of him nodding to

22:59

the man in the tracksuit, who then invites

23:01

other skinheads in tracksuits to bring metal cases

23:03

up. Yes. And then

23:05

the scene cuts. They dance. They do

23:08

like a little choreographed thing where they all take the cases

23:10

off their shoulder in like a wave format.

23:12

Like it's a rhythm nation. Like it's

23:15

one of those dance competition shows

23:17

for dance troops, you know? And

23:20

then the scene cuts, yeah. So that was just

23:22

a scene. That was just a scene. So

23:27

what happens next with Lance Hendrickson? He...

23:31

First of all, we get a very close

23:33

up shot on the butler of these men.

23:35

Why? Is he the mayor

23:38

and or governor? Oh, could

23:40

be. Could be. I'm going to

23:42

believe yes. Totally

23:44

based on nothing, I believe yes. Raymond

23:47

Lance Hendrickson is going to meet with

23:49

a boardroom full of old white men.

23:51

The cabal, as I call them. The

23:53

cabal. And they're, you know, it's

23:55

like, oh, are you sure of what you're doing? He's

23:58

like, hell yeah. Gonna win some fucking basketball games. I'm

24:00

like, what? Okay. Then I'm

24:02

gonna nut. Then I'm gonna nut. These

24:05

men want him to impregnate

24:07

Barbara. Yeah. In return,

24:09

his basketball team will win.

24:11

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I

24:14

mean, there's other ways to win at basketball.

24:18

Katie. I mean, I don't know much

24:20

about basketball. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah,

24:22

it's called the devil's game for a reason. And

24:25

also the white guy say to him, the

24:27

head white guy, is

24:32

like, listen, I'm gonna tell you our

24:34

real motive and I'm gonna tell you right now. You can't tell

24:37

anybody because there'd be consequences, but I'm gonna tell

24:39

you. And I was like, thank you for revealing

24:41

it in the first act because I do not

24:43

have the time. He says quite

24:45

possibly the dumbest thing in this movie full

24:47

of dumb things. The jeans of Satine? When

24:50

he says power corrupts and

24:58

ultimate power corrupts ultimately. And

25:00

we need to make sure that happens. It's

25:05

so good. And the whole time we keep cutting back

25:07

to the butler with the door open peeping on them,

25:09

like on the butler. I'm the butler, I'm gonna

25:12

butler. We learned that Barbara has the

25:14

jeans of Satine and she's able to

25:16

give birth to children with immense powers.

25:18

Her womb is a special will by

25:20

herself. Oh, the womb of

25:23

wombs, truly. And you're

25:25

like, oh no, a woman being impregnated against

25:27

her will. Great.

25:30

Thank you, 1979. I

25:33

just have the notes, Supernatural Baby Factory. Supernatural

25:35

Baby Factory, that's what she is. Ooh,

25:37

can that be a band name? That's

25:39

gonna be our synth wave phase.

25:46

We cut to Katie's birthday party. It's

25:49

in their coke den of a rec room. Oh

25:51

my God, but how is there not a recessed

25:54

couch? Oh yeah, there needs to be a

25:56

conversation pit. Yeah. having

26:00

a party but she just wants to go out to see her bird

26:02

friend. I love it

26:04

every time she gets kissed on the cheek

26:06

she wipes it off with like the the

26:08

side of her hand. She's like, no! I

26:10

think the child playing Katie is actually pretty

26:12

great. Yeah. Yeah. She now

26:14

runs a cosmetics company. Oh

26:17

good for her!

26:19

So John Houston is crashing an eight-year-old's birthday

26:21

party. Just lingering around. You can't do that.

26:24

You can't do that my dude. This is

26:26

a film full of should-be-petariff.

26:29

Yes, absolutely. Yeah,

26:31

she's getting gifts. She gets like

26:33

a new Atari system. She can

26:35

play more Pong. She gets

26:40

the bird is given to her but we don't see the

26:42

bird because when she opens the box there's no bird in

26:44

the box. There's a gun. And

26:48

then we have the seed that

26:50

I made Missy watch this morning because

26:53

I was like, you have to see

26:55

this. It's amazing. No, it's amazing.

26:57

This is a miracle of

26:59

filmmaking. Talk

27:01

me through the gun scene. She gets

27:03

a gun. She opens the box.

27:06

She gets a gun. Does

27:08

she drop it on the... She sort of throws

27:10

it. She says, mom look what I

27:13

got. Yes, she throws it. When the

27:15

gun hits the table. It

27:18

goes off. It shoots her mother in the back.

27:21

And then she shrugs. She's like, did

27:23

I do that? She has like the

27:25

most comedic shrug I've ever seen. And

27:27

her mom smiles at her as she's

27:30

dropping to the ground. Right. What?

27:33

Mr. Paradise? Mr. Senor Peridisi.

27:35

Mr. Jay Paradise? Mr.

27:39

Michael. Mr. Michael Paradise. What

27:43

was your direction of this scene? Um... Raaaaah!

27:49

Which is just him doing a bunch

27:51

of cooking. Right?

27:53

Your daughter throws a gun and shoots you in the

27:55

back. You love it. You love her. You love her

27:58

forever. And you love the shoot. It

28:00

feels you feel nothing it feels

28:03

like a big a

28:05

nut from Lantaner What

28:12

the banana man, I'm gonna man, I'm gonna man because

28:14

I read on work. Yes. I mean her shrug

28:18

the child's shrug Just

28:20

really makes it I'm

28:24

turning 50 soon and I've been going through it.

28:26

I know this movie was

28:28

like Exactly what I

28:31

fucking needed right? I just needed to

28:33

bathe in stupidity for a while. It's

28:35

just it's just so

28:40

Insane it's insane. Yeah, okay. It's

28:42

not like a Toned

28:45

down Santa song gray or something. It

28:47

is very Jodoroski. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

28:50

It I mean it's in the

28:53

grand tradition of this writer ripping

28:55

off other movies Don't

28:57

say Cuz this movie

29:00

is the omen the Exorcist the bird

29:02

little bit of Star Wars birds a

29:05

little bit of close encounters I was saying close encounters

29:07

and a whole lot of Jodoroski.

29:09

Okay, and oh my god I

29:11

like this movie makes the peanut

29:13

butter incident or solution Butter incident

29:16

is a better name for that movie.

29:18

The peanut butter solution looks like a

29:20

cogent fucking Ben

29:23

now in retrospect, I'm like no that makes A

29:27

Canadian filmmaking. Yes, absolutely Want

29:30

all those Canadian Oscars leave their own Oscars they

29:32

ought to Do you

29:34

want the call balloonies toonies? So

29:39

they take Barbara into surgery, yeah and the

29:41

doctor is the guy the guy from the

29:43

cabal Head cabalment

29:45

who I also really like I think he's like

29:47

a very skeezy 100% and

29:52

They're going in under the hood But

29:56

also it's being cut with scenes of

29:58

Katie doing splits Yeah, gymnastic

30:01

warm-ups. Is

30:04

this supposed to say that Katie don't give a

30:06

shit? Mom's going to surgery. I'm

30:08

going to gymnastics. Who drove her there?

30:11

Yes. Cuz like I think you

30:13

know when a parent is ill it's it's

30:15

a good idea to keep things as normal for a

30:17

child as possible. Sure, yeah, yeah, especially when she caused

30:19

it. Well, yeah, I mean

30:21

in what presumably was an accident.

30:24

Uh-huh. Yeah. Mom, look. Mom!

30:29

So it's a very uncomfortable

30:33

sequence of like medical

30:35

stuff and then a child just doing

30:38

splits on a blue mat with

30:40

like no context. Especially because there's

30:42

like lingering crotch shots

30:44

on the child that was like, hey, hey, hey,

30:46

can we get out of there? Yeah, I don't

30:48

know what that was about. That's not great. That's

30:50

not great. She's a child. She's

30:52

supposed to be eight. Yeah. Don't fucking do that.

30:54

It was weird. That was weird. I

30:58

assumed they were going to impregnate Barbara while she

31:00

was unconscious. A hundred percent. And I thought,

31:02

gosh, I hope they actually get the bullet out too

31:05

while they're under there. No, they just just fixed her

31:07

up. They do neither of those things. The

31:09

bullet stays in. And they do

31:11

not impregnate her. Nope. She's just

31:13

paralyzed now. Uh-huh. Wait. What?

31:17

Yeah, doc. Okay. Katie's

31:22

gymnastics coach says to her, Katie,

31:24

you're doing gymnastics beautifully. I'm

31:31

so glad that that person's cousin got to be

31:33

in the movie. Me too. And

31:36

Katie was like, I'll be perfect. Okay,

31:39

dude. And the coach is like, yeah, that's fine. You don't

31:41

try to talk her out of like, well, you know, you

31:43

can do the best you can, but nobody can be perfect

31:45

or whatever. No, you let her do

31:47

that. You will be. You will be. You'd better fucking

31:49

be. Putting all this time into

31:51

you. And the coach is like, how's your

31:54

mom doing? She's like, I don't know. She's

31:56

a surgery. It's wild because when Lance

31:58

Henriksen brings her home. from the

32:00

hospital in a wheelchair and they had a lift

32:02

installed on the stairs of their home. Katie's

32:05

like, boy, I really missed you. It's like, did

32:07

no one take you to visit? Also, who has

32:09

been watching you? She was probably

32:11

in the hospital for a long time. That

32:14

teen did it. Yeah, because she

32:16

had to eventually work up to being able to

32:18

lift herself up on the parallel bar in her

32:21

hospital bed. Right. That's going to take time. Yeah,

32:24

I'm doing that the next morning. No.

32:27

Well. I assume Lance Henriksen as

32:29

her new daddy was there. Yeah, she does say

32:31

now we'll be a family. And you'll let me

32:33

tell you about these explosions. But

32:38

there's a cop. There's

32:40

a Glenn Ford cop. There's a

32:42

Glenn Ford cop. Who is, for

32:44

an Italian movie, doing

32:46

the most work of any cop we've ever

32:49

seen? He is hell bent on figuring out

32:51

who gave this child a gun. One might

32:53

say he's doing too much work. He's doing

32:55

way too much work. Because he goes to

32:57

the house and he's peeping on the kid.

33:01

Two questions. Yeah. You can't do

33:03

that. Yes. Second question.

33:05

Why was the curtain on the outside of the

33:07

window? Because

33:10

he's pulling back the curtain. Katie

33:13

shoots the bird at him, but the bird can't get to

33:15

him because there's a window between him. You're right. Why is

33:17

the curtain on the outside of the window? Why is the

33:19

curtain on the outside of the window, Alan? Maybe

33:22

he was inside and Katie was outside and we've

33:24

misread the situation. What

33:27

if the world is the inside of the house?

33:29

Oh my God. Oh, yeah. What if the stars

33:31

are just God's salt? God's just waiting to eat

33:33

us. Oh

33:37

yeah. Katie and I took LSD right before I

33:40

wrote it. It is 10 30

33:42

on a Sunday, Saturday morning. I'm

33:45

high out of my mind. Yeah, dude. We

33:47

see the cop questioning the shopkeeper. Like this

33:49

is where he comes back and you're like, oh

33:51

yes, I remember him from earlier. In

33:53

a world of amazing directorial

33:56

decision. Yeah. These

33:59

interviews that Glenn Ford is doing

34:01

are shot from behind his

34:03

neck. He's got a

34:05

good neck, a thick neck if you will. So

34:08

that they can just keep like cycling

34:11

through the people he's interviewing but it's

34:13

just like yeah I don't want to see the

34:15

back of Len Ford's head can we do something else? I

34:18

think this was very artful for

34:21

the time. There's like a

34:23

lot of sort of tricky camera work

34:25

in the movie which I don't understand why

34:27

they put in the effort. But

34:30

it's like street magician level

34:32

drinking. It's

34:35

cool that you can do that but please get away from

34:37

me. Calm down Chris Angel, just do the movie. Don't

34:40

want to be mind freaked. And

34:44

then cut to,

34:47

quick cut, to the new

34:49

housekeeper coming in. Shelley

34:51

fucking Winters. Shelley Winters, yeah.

34:53

Who is playing a very

34:56

strange role. She's like

34:58

in love with John Huston and

35:01

I don't know. She's dressed

35:03

like a London bird lady. She's

35:05

like a Mary Plompens. Yeah.

35:08

She's supposed to be a housekeeper

35:11

sent by the agency. Yeah. Who

35:13

brings a fucking bird? You cannot bring a fucking bird

35:15

into someone else's house. Oh Katie they're not real birds.

35:18

No? No they're imitation

35:21

birds. I thought she had pet birds that she

35:23

just took everywhere with her because that cage

35:25

is huge. They're fake birds that make her

35:27

feel not alone. Wait really? Oh

35:30

my god that's so much weirder than

35:32

actually bringing your pet birds. Because like

35:34

bringing your own pet birds is fucking

35:36

weird but at least they're like sentient

35:38

beings with whom you have a bond.

35:42

What? Wait

35:46

really? Is

35:48

that a dress? Does she say anything about it?

35:51

Oh my god. See this movie feels like a

35:54

fever dream to me where like that part just

35:56

slipped away. I

35:58

assumed that she was going to Be the

36:00

housekeeper from the oh my New

36:02

Came here to protect Katie Yes,

36:05

but instead what if we saw

36:07

that on and Sanders said by,

36:09

he always can and yeah way.

36:12

Commander Allies for your respectfully

36:14

school meters A. For

36:18

me my name's that I just towards. Ah

36:20

hi, I'm Katie. Comic eighties

36:22

style. And

36:24

she's like if she's she's bonding

36:27

with Mom their astrology burrow. Our

36:29

God. And when he started getting into Israel

36:31

as a I was like know you're losing

36:33

me. And Sterling

36:35

Obama Leo and says a terrorist

36:38

editor One thing you gotta be

36:40

your moods Rising Year deal of

36:42

Sars dip and. As

36:45

as as our were the best

36:47

Capricorn to the fucking worst kids

36:49

that and get to see look

36:51

for like you. See

36:54

this you know can take

36:56

care for courts. Have enough

36:58

to see that the front

37:00

of everyone born between mid

37:02

December in mid January is

37:04

a fucking loser like Jesus

37:06

Christ. Use Curse a Capricorn

37:08

Yes, According to

37:10

the bible is insisting that they would

37:12

say that it's interesting that they would

37:15

say that. Not

37:17

I'm not even according to the bebo. According to the

37:19

many many many many years later when they were like.

37:21

Pigeons can't have all at eyes.

37:24

Hours now, Jesus was born.

37:26

Okay, Per se, you

37:28

energy does take away his birthday.

37:30

You will not get to celebrate

37:33

that me more. Your

37:37

mood? noom Quit cut

37:40

to spot. On

37:42

the roof with the art installation in the

37:45

Skinheads. Why are there Ball Diebel on

37:47

the roof of And And Band and

37:49

Hospital And Downtown Atlanta? Georgia Why are

37:51

they said They're sitting next to a

37:53

screen where people are doing san staffer

37:55

who all over the see. every

37:58

time this movie cause which is. If

38:00

and it's to something totally different

38:02

that you've. Forgotten. About.

38:04

Completely such. And then it goes. i can

38:06

you like ah, this And. Why

38:10

yeah? Mine's.

38:15

Cut back to Tv in the house

38:17

Keepers and the husky was like choosing

38:19

what is this and she's like the

38:21

others. My imitation birds. Okay, I love

38:24

my invitation birds. I'm and or less

38:26

famous. it's he's like you better be

38:28

careful or squeaky gonna rip those oh

38:30

okay, sweet squeaky as the pair grid

38:32

and stuff to do that with the.

38:36

With. Block of here

38:38

to be caves. It just does what

38:41

it wants. Boutiques,

38:43

Years the train would have those birds here.

38:46

To. The tiles do this is a it

38:48

is it assess assess legs. I

38:50

feel like if lucy started now. That

38:54

he has it's simply that the it's

38:57

done Jane I think is the cello

38:59

interceptor of surf. ah they are like

39:01

getting snippy with each other right off

39:03

the bat and entities to worms out

39:06

of the house and Abbas nearly hits

39:08

the actors. To do see that style

39:10

is actually the scariest thing I've ever

39:12

seen in a movie to see. So

39:15

little girl and as possible really nearly

39:17

hits her like it so. Upset

39:19

Eggs. Stickers

39:21

New safety considerations for the

39:24

sailed would it's so upsetting.

39:26

Analysis says on the bus

39:28

yeah, she's been followed though.

39:31

By the seventies com boom. So surprises

39:33

here. Seventies cop working so hard. He

39:37

sees it another bus and that he falls

39:40

through school and the bus empties and she's

39:42

on the bus, right? Sir Glenn Ford is

39:44

like. A walk

39:46

over there in I'm in the movie i'm Here

39:48

Now Was over there and see stand on the

39:51

most of the bus and she slams the door.

39:54

Where. The bus driver just how. Does a

39:56

bus driver just allow a strange man.

39:58

To approach a small child. And will just

40:00

like I guess we'll see where this. Guy was

40:02

the height of you're going to

40:04

have duct much for philosophically. You

40:07

know what? okay to can take care of ourselves. He discerns.

40:09

Human. Does go fuck yourself. Another K,

40:11

C B Katie. Sniffles,

40:15

You don't really realize the other

40:17

were we watching a line of

40:19

duty where you know ah, we're

40:21

in season three okay, ah, which

40:23

is the. Top.

40:26

And killing the pedophiles situation?

40:28

Yes, yeah, let's do it.

40:32

Tracks. On the line of duty, nobody. Will

40:34

we do nothing? Hotelier A Only people that list

40:36

of vodka as a revolver on the spot. Guess

40:38

a bottle of Beauty of. Fuck

40:41

them the assess assess

40:43

so. I have. I

40:45

realize that Bc Twelve anti corruption you to

40:47

Twelve Yeah is a C A B. Oh

40:50

my God. You're right. Easy one to. Say

40:52

they. Said

40:55

Mercurial, you fucking genius fucking

40:57

see a see a big

40:59

houses or via phone. Okay

41:03

and is a beautiful So stoked when

41:05

I realize that like this is a

41:08

baby a these thirteen twelve. Assists

41:10

isn't He is angry. Fuck

41:14

it is so she doesn't have to go fuck

41:16

himself. He's like this or something. you want to

41:18

tell me like gas. Bill. Suck

41:20

yourself. Nuts,

41:23

I will. You know? And then she

41:25

that your child molester. What? We're

41:28

Where's the gun? T you really one

41:30

know you should write it down. In

41:34

the Aids Smc a specimen she

41:36

goes. She leaves a to give.

41:39

It. Up your. Fc

41:42

So cool. I was a. Half

41:44

as cool as gate is over notices

41:46

ghouls his cell phone. Call

41:50

rates I was I as a fifty year

41:52

old man to tell other adults to give

41:54

us the full. I mean a truly this

41:56

movie is a tragedy for what happened. Cicadas,

41:58

you know. The

42:02

kill him in his office

42:04

which is in the locker

42:06

room the police have. that's

42:08

where he thinks ssssss assess

42:10

assess the secretary of lot

42:12

of his office who says

42:14

sitting and before she. Now

42:20

that's an office. So

42:22

gonna. Be

42:25

starting about. Others know prince other than the

42:27

kids. On the Gun. Yeah, that bugs me.

42:29

Man, that really bugs me. Or

42:33

the script. zero number of know there was

42:35

never a serial number. So a

42:37

handmade it I mean is I mean

42:39

that with the Uk than the other

42:41

copper pipe smoking causes like yeah whatever

42:44

you to fix this will assist or

42:46

anyway I gotta go by. Let's not

42:48

do this is what's not as the

42:50

odd couple got to him. Here or

42:52

he was a cop in the. Seventies. Or

42:55

a cop ever. We need a

42:57

magician on this case. For magicians,

43:03

To Glenn Ford letting himself in the

43:05

barber into this house. Now he I

43:07

can just do that. I guess

43:09

we've glass bar stools. Holy gross.

43:11

I fucking love. Rich people seventies

43:14

a core. Amazing Auriemma. You.

43:17

Can do it in silly now. And

43:19

I'm. Afraid I'm I'm getting new friends

43:21

or that for an answer. To

43:25

the have to go whole hog you know he

43:27

knows or yeah yeah there's no there's no half

43:29

and like I'm so I'm not very to watering

43:31

houseplants. I mean how sick once yang as I

43:33

can not seems like a good move for me

43:36

at this point of my life to show my

43:38

home with plastic six point influence. Maybe some

43:40

six birds and exceeds so I feel less

43:42

alone. Assists it

43:44

would have this egg shaped tears of the the

43:46

speakers and and seeking listener records were sitting in

43:49

your eggs Hip to that us on canonization. So.

43:52

He goes in the house but then the

43:54

birds gonna get him squeaky attacks as a

43:56

fucking mad as. And. He

43:58

finds the wind up. in like

44:02

a pile of leaves. And a plant,

44:05

which has been, it says, he finds it because he hears

44:07

it saying, I'm a pretty bird. I thought,

44:09

has he just been saying that in like for

44:12

weeks, quietly in the basin? That's

44:15

when I decided that I'm also a pretty bird.

44:17

You are a pretty bird. A pretty bird. A

44:19

pretty bird. Then

44:26

he takes the bird and he's driving away.

44:28

Yeah. See next time I'm

44:31

going, I'm a pretty bird.

44:34

I'm a pretty bird. Jesus fucking Christ. And

44:37

I'm assuming alcoholic ass John, or Glenn

44:39

Ford is just like, I

44:42

can't do this anymore. He

44:45

doesn't have to for much longer though, because a

44:47

bird flies right into his car window,

44:49

his open car window. I

44:51

mean, that's fucking agility. Birds are

44:53

good. Who knows

44:55

this is squeaky's revenge. No

44:58

one ever just breaks when something terrible is happening to

45:00

them in their car. I swear to God, if anything

45:02

attacks me in my car, I'm just going to slam

45:04

on the brakes. Hit me from behind maybe, but like,

45:06

we're going to be all over the road. I

45:09

have a note that says, slow down Glenn Ford. And also

45:12

it's fantastic because it's 1979. So

45:14

everyone's driving like a fucking land yacht and

45:16

they're all just wrecking each other. It's really

45:19

fun. He's causing so much

45:21

mayhem. Meanwhile, if you look at

45:23

the car while he's driving in the mayhem, there's

45:25

no bird. He

45:28

gets his eye popped by the bird. The

45:32

bird like pecks his eye to. First

45:35

he hit someone on a bike. And I was like,

45:37

please God, let that have been a dummy and not

45:39

a stunt man. It is brutal. It's

45:43

brutal. It

45:46

like folds the person in half backwards. That

45:48

person is dead. And I'm doing

45:50

like 55. It was insane.

45:52

That person is dead. He

45:54

rolls his car after he gets his eye popped.

45:58

Down the side of a hill, wrapping. the

46:00

car in a chain link fence as

46:02

it lands on a baseball field. So

46:04

funny. And the baseball players run over

46:06

towards it and one of them's holding

46:08

the baseball bat like he's menacing him? Like

46:10

he's gonna beat the shit out of that

46:12

car? Fuck that car!

46:14

So funny. It's so funny.

46:16

So you can't get out because

46:19

it's wrapped in a chain link fence? Sure. And

46:21

then it just explodes. Well no, it

46:23

doesn't just explode. A fire starts in the

46:25

grass, which is also so fucking funny. The

46:28

grass catches fire and

46:30

then the car catches fire. Squeaky

46:32

one, Glenn Ford zero. Yeah, they all just run

46:34

away. The dudes are like, I don't know man.

46:37

You're on your own. Quick cut two, Shelley

46:40

Winter's singing the fucking Mammy

46:43

song. Yes! And

46:45

Barbara says to her, what do you think of my daughter? And

46:49

Shelley Winter says, you want the truth? And Barbara says, yes.

46:52

And Shelley Winter says, she's bad. And

46:54

Barbara's like, what are you talking about? She's just

46:56

a little girl. Don't fucking ask, Barbara. Don't ever

46:58

fucking ask. Don't ask a question you don't want to hear

47:00

the answer to. Oh,

47:02

she's great. She's the best. Favorite daughter

47:04

ever. A plus child. So

47:07

they go to the mall so mom can get her

47:09

hair did at the haircutry. Okay. Which

47:11

seems a little lowbrow for that mom.

47:13

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe

47:15

the haircutry was something different in 1979. I feel like there were just

47:17

so many salons in malls and all malls smelled like perms.

47:19

It's true. Whoa. Never

47:22

even smelled that again. Yeah. The perms

47:24

are back. Yeah. Yeah.

47:27

I'm going to put my hair on. In my

47:30

beard. You won't. I won't. It's

47:32

already curly enough. It's beautiful. I mean, I

47:34

think you could increase the curl volume a

47:36

bit. I think

47:38

that is a great look for

47:40

you to kick off your next

47:42

decade. So

47:45

Katie goes to the ice rink. Yes.

47:48

Wait. Wait. Who

47:51

said planets understand that our characters are

47:53

our fates? Somebody said that. Oh, Shelley

47:55

Winters, I believe. What are you fucking talking

47:57

about? I'm trying to look at you. Oh my God. Mom's

48:03

like, I really love shortening, shortening. What

48:05

the fuck, dude? Oh,

48:08

you're... Okay, so... Oh, yes,

48:10

this is another part where they

48:13

make Johnny Houston just walk down a

48:15

broken escalator and he looks so scared.

48:18

I haven't heard that says, Johnny Houston

48:21

walks from the moon. He's walking from

48:23

the moon. It's so... He's

48:25

on the steps for 20, 25 minutes. And

48:28

it's meant to be building tension because Katie is doing some

48:30

shit on the ice rink and then it cuts back to

48:32

him still walking down the stairs. But he's in the same

48:34

spot as me. He's in the same spot and he

48:37

looks like an old man who's like, I

48:39

could fall and this will be the end of me if

48:41

I break a hip. That's the tension, is Johnny

48:43

Houston. You're like, oh, God, oh, God. And

48:46

she's going the wrong way around the ice rink.

48:48

She's going to the left. You go to the

48:50

right, obviously. And she gets in a tussle with

48:52

some teens. Yes, but so they start

48:55

chasing her. This gang of teenage

48:57

boys. And they're giggling. They're having a good

48:59

time chasing this girl. I mean, I

49:01

don't think anyone would stand for this, right?

49:04

70s. 70s, just little girls?

49:08

She's got skills though, because we see her like pirouetting

49:10

and doing figure eights and shit. Yeah.

49:13

Oh, yeah. She got them ice skills. At

49:16

one point he's just like looking down and he goes, look

49:19

at her go. Yeah, look at her go. So

49:22

she's getting into a tussle

49:25

with these guys where she's like faking

49:28

them out and they're slamming into the

49:31

board, basically, but on their butts. Cartoonish.

49:34

And so she keeps fucking them up and

49:36

they're slamming into the boards until finally two

49:38

of them grab her and she starts spinning

49:41

them. I thought they

49:43

were spinning her, but no, she is

49:45

spinning them because

49:48

she tosses them through the window of a

49:50

pizzeria, maybe where a man is smoking. She

49:53

shoots them off in different directions. They both go

49:55

to the same window. Yep, it's great. Then

49:58

the scene frees. frames on her doing

50:01

an ice jump. This movie is spectacular.

50:05

I don't know if I have explained this.

50:07

I know it after that. Katie rolls. Katie

50:10

is the fucking best. Cut

50:14

two. Cut two. Her new babysitter showing

50:16

up. Who's her new babysitter? It's John

50:18

Huston. I'm the new babysitter.

50:20

I'm the babysitter? It's me, the babysitter.

50:23

And they're like, welcome then, then, strange man. It's

50:25

the 1970s. This is where he says,

50:27

my name is Jersey. Please call me Jersey. So

50:34

when the folks leave, he starts

50:36

quizzing Katie about her past lie.

50:39

Right. And we

50:41

get a weird conversation between Lance Henriksen

50:44

and Barbara where... Oh, where he

50:46

does the biggest dick move ever? Is

50:48

it where she... No, maybe

50:50

yes. But I just want to talk about how

50:53

she's like, do you think that man's a child molester, the one

50:55

I just love my kid with? And he's like,

50:57

or he says that, that man might be a child

50:59

molester. And she's like, you could be

51:01

a cripple molester. Nope. What?

51:04

My God. What?

51:07

This is not how people talk to each other. This is not how

51:09

people talk to each other. No. Oh, this is when

51:11

he announces that they're

51:15

getting married without having asked her or having asked

51:17

her and her saying no. And then

51:20

they have a fight and he's like,

51:22

no, you're going to do it. And she's

51:24

like, no, I'm not. Yes, I am. Yeah.

51:26

Oh, Raymond. Meanwhile, fucking

51:30

Jersey and Katie are talking. He's

51:33

like, close your eyes. And she's like, okay, don't

51:35

close your eyes when a weird old man tells

51:37

you. And he says, I want to take you

51:40

away with me when the time comes when my

51:42

friends arrive. What? She says,

51:44

you want my advice, old man? Go

51:46

back to wherever you came from. She's

51:49

the coolest child. Did

51:55

you notice that when he goes

51:57

to turn on the light, the lights, one

51:59

of the lights is inside like a leopard statue? I

52:03

love that so much. Do

52:06

I blow it? Was it just a light switch

52:08

that was inside of it or was there a light bulb inside

52:10

the leopard? No, I think he flips something

52:12

and it turns on a light elsewhere.

52:14

The leopard does not illuminate, to

52:17

my knowledge. It's a living. It's a

52:19

living. So

52:22

mom comes home to find John Huston asleep on the

52:24

couch and he's like, it's $15, same as

52:26

in town. $15, my God. You

52:32

wish. Yeah, I do. Mommy,

52:37

you have to marry Raymond. You're

52:39

selfish, Mommy. What? Shut

52:42

your fucking pie hole. You're

52:46

selfish. You're selfish, Mommy. So

52:49

Raymond's back at the cabal and the cabal's

52:51

like, look, dude, you fucking failed. You suck

52:54

at this. You're the worst. Yes. We hate

52:56

you. You're done done. Did you assume they were going

52:58

to kill him? No, I

53:00

feel like he was just being fired. Okay.

53:02

All right. All right. There's

53:04

no stakes for Raymond in this movie whatsoever. Because

53:06

they say the cabal says

53:09

to him early, like if this doesn't work out, there

53:11

will be serious consequences for you and for us. And

53:14

then he, after this scene, disappears for all

53:16

of act two and most of acts three, you know,

53:18

I was like, oh, they killed him. No, no. The

53:20

consequences were just for the Atlanta rebels. Yeah. They're

53:22

not going to make it to the championship. I

53:24

mean, the extra ring or whatever you get in

53:27

basketball. Extra ring. You get

53:29

a ring in an extra one. So a

53:31

friend. You did such a good job. A friendship ring. They

53:35

say a more efficient method has been

53:37

chosen to impregnate her, which is fucking

53:40

awful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

53:43

Yeah. So

53:46

mom's driving. Barbara's driving. How is she

53:49

driving? When they were in the car, I was

53:51

like, wait, who's driving? Wait, she's driving? She

53:53

doesn't have use of her legs. There are

53:55

cars that are built for people who are

53:58

paralyzed. Well, the ways that have like. handles

54:00

pals. I

54:03

mean yes I'm not saying that people who are yeah

54:05

I can't drive what I'm saying is both her hands are

54:08

on the steering wheel so how

54:10

is she breaking? yeah yeah

54:13

yeah Katie's got her shades

54:15

on it's dark I don't care. She's cool. Yeah. The

54:19

car breaks down mm-hmm in

54:21

like a desolate area of

54:23

the city. Why do I have sparkly

54:25

ambulance written here? Because when

54:27

the car breaks down a truck

54:30

pulls up and it's covered in a thousand

54:32

lights. Oh that's right it looks like a

54:34

sparkly ambulance. She

54:37

has a car phone which is just

54:39

a rotary dial phone in her car.

54:41

It's incredible. She picks up

54:43

the phone which means she's been driving

54:45

with this loose ass phone in the

54:47

car. I assumed it was sitting

54:49

on a base most of the time because it's got

54:52

you know the phone cord. It's just sitting

54:54

there. It's wild.

54:56

Yep. And so the truck the sparkly

54:58

ambulance drives away and then it comes

55:00

back and this is where

55:02

it gets very close encounters with other

55:04

kind because a spaceship door opens. Yes.

55:06

And a bunch of dudes in spacesuits

55:09

walk out of it. Yes

55:11

and the score is like a classic Universal

55:13

Monsters movie. It's gone into classical

55:15

music. Why? Because. And also the

55:17

people in the suits are like

55:20

wearing hazmat suits and football helmets

55:22

and then when you see them from behind

55:24

you're like oh football pads too. One of

55:26

them is wearing football pads too. Big shoulders.

55:28

Yeah big shoulders. So they

55:30

take Barbara into the spaceship. Why

55:33

is she unconscious now? She just says huh? Yeah.

55:35

Yeah. Okay. Car phone knocks you right

55:37

out. Oh that's true. I

55:41

know this is Katie goes along because

55:43

she's freaky. Also does there

55:45

need to be this much blood

55:47

for putting a baby in ya?

55:50

I don't know. Earlier when they're

55:52

doing the IV in her hand her hand is

55:54

covered in blood. She bleeds

55:57

easily just Barbara. That's the genes of

55:59

Satine. So she

56:01

gets impregnated and then she gets

56:04

put back in the car and then the tow truck that she called

56:06

on the car phone shows up And these

56:08

two black guys are like, oh, yeah, I don't

56:10

want to fuck with this. They're so stoned It's

56:14

very fun They are the

56:16

comic relief and only for a moment and then it's

56:18

just like right back into it And

56:20

they're like, oh gosh, she's drunk And

56:25

then we see John he's sitting in front of

56:27

a green screen of stars and then he's at

56:29

the parking garage ramp decorated with Christmas lights And

56:31

I don't understand. I don't understand what's happening

56:33

at all. The direction for the green screen

56:35

of stars was you're amazed You're

56:39

amazed and there's wind blowing at you. He's just

56:42

standing in front of a box van being amazed She

56:53

finds out she's pregnant Yeah,

56:55

and she's doing like a wheelchair speed

56:57

run through the house. Yes, she's pacing

56:59

in circles Looks

57:02

so cuz they definitely spend the

57:04

film. Yes Cuz

57:06

otherwise she'd be reckon she'd be wrecking that

57:08

thing. You cannot go that fast So

57:20

funny and there's more kid

57:22

gymnastics shots because reasons And

57:25

then she goes to this hospital that has

57:27

one doctor in a thousand pages and

57:30

they're all wearing weird hats Like one person

57:32

is wearing a birthday hat one person that

57:34

has a sailor cap on I don't understand

57:39

Okay, all right, okay

57:41

fine She

57:45

goes and sees the secretary the receptionist at

57:47

the doctor's office who has not seen her

57:49

in a while and makes no I

57:55

haven't seen you in years. How are

57:57

you? Not great. Not great. Oh Oh

58:00

my God, that's fucking amazing. Do

58:03

you think the receptionist was like, ah, she probably

58:05

got tired of walking. Yeah, she's rich, see? Rich

58:08

people can sit down whenever they

58:10

want. And then

58:12

she sees her ex-husband, who is

58:14

Sam Peckinpaul. Yes. Known

58:18

dickhead, Sam Peckinpaul. Okay. There's

58:21

a name like Peckinpaul. He

58:26

had such a hard time delivering his lines

58:28

that they just overdubbed him. Yes, nothing

58:30

they're saying is matching up with anything in the

58:32

scene. Why was he having such a,

58:34

is he a drunk? I think he just

58:37

didn't give a fuck. Okay. He's

58:40

not a nice dude for everything I know about him.

58:43

No, and the budget of this movie was $800,000, so

58:45

he's not getting big money for it either, you know? No,

58:47

and that's all going to John Huston and Glen Ford. So

58:50

this is her ex-husband, the one who was a very

58:52

fine man, which she's always loved. And a

58:54

doctor. And a doctor. So did

58:56

he leave her? Is that what we were to understand?

58:59

And that's why she's defining for him? I think so.

59:01

But he must have left when Katie

59:03

was like... One? Six

59:05

months old, yeah. Oh yeah, that's right, seven and a half

59:07

years. Seven and a half years. Yeah, exactly. And

59:12

instead of just like, she's got to work on

59:14

the presentation of things here. How so? Because

59:16

she just looks at him and she's like, evil people are doing things to

59:18

me. It's like, oh my God, just fucking work out

59:21

what you're going to say before you say it. Oh,

59:23

this fucking crazy woman. This is why I left her

59:25

the first time. Right, right. She's

59:27

coming to him for an abortion. Yeah. Which

59:29

he agrees to do. Uh-huh. Yeah.

59:31

And then that happens and that's it. I guess

59:34

you can abort Satine's baby. Also, we haven't talked

59:36

about the fact that Satine they

59:40

need to have a boy, presumably

59:42

so it can fuck Katie. Sure.

59:45

That's really fucked up. 70s

59:47

are weird, man. I

59:50

love that we're in an hour into this episode we're not

59:52

even done with the movie. Oh no. Because

59:54

it's so bonkers we have to explain everything. I need

59:57

to talk about every moment of it. So

1:00:02

then Katie goes looking for her

1:00:04

mom. Mm-hmm. Because I

1:00:06

guess she wants to stop the abortion. But

1:00:10

John Huston is playing like this cat and

1:00:12

mouse game with her. Yes. Which

1:00:14

is just old man at the end of a hallway over and

1:00:16

over and over. It sure is. It sure is.

1:00:19

And she gets slapped twice, I think. Oh,

1:00:21

that's right. Jelly winner smacks the shit out

1:00:23

of her. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure she

1:00:26

actually hit that shot. Yes, I look like

1:00:28

it. But wait, I

1:00:30

forgot this line that Sam Peckinpah delivers

1:00:32

where he's like, why does everything happen

1:00:34

to you? The accident, the wheelchair, now

1:00:36

you want an abortion? My

1:00:39

dude? I'm

1:00:42

pretty sure that's just what Sam Peckinpah said. Yeah,

1:00:44

I have to hope that that wasn't written

1:00:46

down. Like it's not that

1:00:48

unbelievable that she would be assaulted. So... Oh.

1:00:52

Oh. Oh. Oh.

1:00:57

John Huston goes and hides in a

1:00:59

hot dog man's hot dog hut. For

1:01:02

Katie. Whoa, right, right.

1:01:04

This is after we see like Matt Pinfield

1:01:07

in the abandoned hospital or just like a

1:01:09

random Tottenham fan just like this short

1:01:12

ball burly

1:01:14

man. In

1:01:16

1986, Debechmeld won. I

1:01:24

wish the camera just keeps going. Is

1:01:26

Matt Pinfield still alive? I hope so.

1:01:28

I hope he's still talking about facts.

1:01:30

I'm so glad. He's a hot man

1:01:33

knows so many facts. Oh my God.

1:01:35

A font of knowledge. 1986

1:01:37

Debechmeld. The

1:01:41

most Matt Pinfield thing I could think of.

1:01:43

It was very good. Very good. So

1:01:47

he hides in the hot dog man's hot dog

1:01:49

hut. Which is close because he's enjoying a

1:01:51

hot dog himself. How could you bother this

1:01:53

man on his lunch break? He gets

1:01:55

in the hot dog man's hot dog hut. The hot dog

1:01:57

man goes, the fuck? Yeah. It's also

1:02:00

I'll set up in an alleyway which is very

1:02:02

vibrant this alleyway. There's a lot of commerce happening

1:02:04

a lot of people It's like a Middle Eastern

1:02:06

bazaar for some reason Katie

1:02:10

drops An

1:02:13

entire fire escape on the hot

1:02:15

dog Connecticut

1:02:20

Yeah, we get a

1:02:22

lot of shots of like the nuts and bolts turning

1:02:25

it falls and crushes the hot dog man's hot

1:02:27

dog, huh? And

1:02:30

then from behind the back wall John

1:02:32

Houston peaks out like And

1:02:35

there's all these people running around because there was so much Activity

1:02:38

in this alleyway and I thought it would be very funny

1:02:41

if they were all just picking up hot dogs

1:02:43

and running away with Some commerce commerce commerce commerce.

1:02:45

Yeah. Well Yahweh lives Please

1:02:48

call me Jersey They

1:02:51

go into a porn theater If

1:02:54

the notes it says Katie needs to get into

1:02:56

parkour cuz she's following him down steps with me

1:02:58

You just jump down those your real gymnastics. Come

1:03:00

on, honestly, and he's an old man It

1:03:04

should not be hard to catch him. Come

1:03:06

out you old bastard Oh

1:03:13

my god, the child is bastard so many times

1:03:16

a delight You know bastard

1:03:18

no bastard and then

1:03:20

we get a repeat of the scene from

1:03:22

Conan the Destroyer with the mirror room Yes,

1:03:24

but this is first. Yeah It

1:03:27

predicted and predated. Yeah, and

1:03:29

he's sort of like moving through the glass and cracking

1:03:32

it which I thought was pretty cool visually Yeah

1:03:35

Yeah Now

1:03:38

her power is out. I don't know what I meant by

1:03:40

that Yeah, the lights go out when mom gets

1:03:42

home mom is home, right? Right, and

1:03:44

then the bird attacks her and then just

1:03:47

gives up and talks some shit like

1:03:50

the bird attacks her flies

1:03:52

away and is like Like

1:03:55

next time motherfucker, what are you saying that

1:03:57

you locked yourself in a room in a

1:03:59

bird? trying to open the door and I was like,

1:04:01

you got no leverage? What are you doing? Yeah, maybe

1:04:03

the bird is turning the knob and I thought maybe

1:04:05

you could out muscle the bird for a door

1:04:08

handle because I like feel like I could. I'm

1:04:12

not confident about a lot of things. I could fight a bird. I

1:04:15

could keep a door closed

1:04:17

against a single bird, I think.

1:04:26

So she kills the bird. She kills

1:04:28

the bird. Yeah. And

1:04:30

Shelley Winters comes in and then

1:04:33

my next episode is just Katie runs mom into

1:04:35

the fish tank. They're actually fishing it?

1:04:38

I think it was just a water feature. Big

1:04:41

glass water feature. This house is

1:04:43

not suitable for a child to grow

1:04:45

up in. No, or to really maneuver

1:04:47

a wheelchair in. So she pushes mom

1:04:49

full speed into the tank. We get

1:04:52

this like Dario Argento woman's head going

1:04:54

through glass shot. Fucking

1:04:56

Italians. Why are we always putting women's

1:04:58

head through glass? They

1:05:00

talk too much. Oh, hey, limoncello. Spaghetti

1:05:04

house. I

1:05:06

think that we talked about this off air, but

1:05:08

this director also has a movie called Spaghetti

1:05:10

House from 1982 that we absolutely need to

1:05:12

do. Apparently it's about a real life siege

1:05:15

that happened in London, but it's a comedy.

1:05:17

We create a comedy on it. Spaghetti House.

1:05:19

Spaghetti House. God,

1:05:21

we need Spaghetti House t-shirts. Oh my God. Rip

1:05:26

Spaghetti Warehouse. So

1:05:29

then we cut back to John Huston on the

1:05:31

roof and now Shelley Winters is with him on

1:05:33

the roof with the lights and the something and

1:05:35

the something or others. Yeah, I couldn't figure

1:05:38

out if she was supernatural and in cahoots

1:05:40

with him or she just recognized the evil

1:05:42

in Katie because she says something about having

1:05:44

had an evil child too. I

1:05:47

think she's in cahoots. Okay. She's in cahoots. Okay. And

1:05:50

she loves him. She loves him. I

1:05:52

hope those two fuck. And

1:05:56

she just gives up on it. She was like, all right, well,

1:05:58

bye then. I was like, no, Jane, don't give up. I

1:06:00

feel like you had him, he was into it, you know? She

1:06:04

wants to go with him and he's like, I

1:06:07

can only take the children, not you, Shelley Winter.

1:06:09

Right. She's like, oh, okay, cool, you gonna, what

1:06:11

are you doing to those kids, buddy? What's

1:06:13

going on? Yeah. Katie's

1:06:16

been like institutionalized at this point. Just

1:06:18

keep saying, take me home, mommy, please.

1:06:21

How'd that, how'd that treat you? Not great, not

1:06:24

great. And also, did you like the star

1:06:26

green screen scene the first time? That's the

1:06:28

same thing again. Really the same, the exact

1:06:30

same scene. Why make it twice when you

1:06:32

can make it once? When I was in

1:06:34

the MaxiPads, we never wrote more verses. Because

1:06:36

if you wrote one verse, you have enough verses.

1:06:38

You just do it again. Why

1:06:43

are we repeating the C8 as a note today?

1:06:45

I know. He looks insane. He's

1:06:48

doing like a Super Bowl halftime show. I

1:06:50

cannot figure out any of the lights or

1:06:52

what's happening. Yeah, he's

1:06:54

looking at the star, or he's looking at like the roof of

1:06:56

the building and there's light on the roof of the building and

1:06:58

then it starts corresponding to the stars and the lights and the

1:07:00

stars and the loop, de de de de de de de de

1:07:02

de de de de de de de de de de de de

1:07:04

de. Movie doesn't make any fucking sense. My next note

1:07:06

just says movie, I am tired. Can we wrap this up?

1:07:09

But also the lights are bouncing around like

1:07:12

pong and I was like, ooh, timely. Yeah,

1:07:14

and also, you know, Katie likes pong. And

1:07:18

then my next note just

1:07:20

says, what? Katie is an old monster. Yeah,

1:07:23

so they're packing up, she seems to

1:07:25

be packing up Katie's basketball jerseys. Sure.

1:07:28

And she says, can I have a kiss, mommy? And

1:07:31

then turns into a monster. She has

1:07:33

a bunch of lights in her fucking face. Yeah, wrestles

1:07:36

her mom to the floor by her hair and

1:07:38

then drags her up the stairs by her feet. You

1:07:41

definitely can't see the skateboard that mom's on.

1:07:43

I love it when you see the skateboard

1:07:45

that mom's on. You just see the little

1:07:47

wheel going by. And then Lance Hennardsons there,

1:07:49

bum bum bum. And he wanted

1:07:51

to kill her. Sure.

1:07:55

Why would they want to kill her if she was the last jeans of Satine?

1:07:58

Yes. Okay. part of the

1:08:00

cabal anymore he's kicked out kicked the curb and i

1:08:02

thought that gave him an up so this is

1:08:04

when i was surprised he wasn't dead and i thought

1:08:07

oh he's gonna save her from the cabal because

1:08:09

he knows no i don't know what he's his

1:08:11

motivations are no longer clear nope nope

1:08:13

he ties her up with

1:08:15

like piano wire and then lowers

1:08:18

her down on her own wheelchair lift yeah

1:08:21

brutal that is a

1:08:23

fucked up fantasy yeah yeah it's

1:08:26

a dark twisted fantasy sure

1:08:28

is i wrote blue

1:08:31

clouds now it's a screen saver uh

1:08:34

birds question mark why

1:08:37

is katie's hair in her face because

1:08:39

they didn't have the monster makeup on her anymore but

1:08:41

they didn't want you to know that static hair

1:08:44

birds idk that's what i have written perfect

1:08:46

summation of what happens yeah once again zetine is

1:08:49

taken out by a flock of not

1:08:51

seagulls as i originally thought but pigeons

1:08:53

there's so many fucking pigeons pigeons and

1:08:56

a dove a single

1:08:58

dove which is just like a

1:09:00

whole 8020 pigeon sure oh yeah they're i

1:09:02

mean yeah suburban pigeons ha

1:09:04

ha ha the birds of tech and katie is

1:09:06

hilarious the birds are very funny the

1:09:09

song that's playing

1:09:11

in the score is like an intro to a

1:09:13

vhs tape of big nfl

1:09:15

glory moments you know exactly

1:09:21

exactly and in the flock

1:09:23

of birds there is for some inexplicable reason

1:09:25

a pigeon statue that has a

1:09:27

spike coming out of the front of it that

1:09:29

was a statue i thought pigeons don't look

1:09:31

like that my dudes because the birds stabs

1:09:33

him so

1:09:36

now the birds are mad at katie yeah because

1:09:38

she's that teen remember the

1:09:40

birds took out that team but she

1:09:42

had a bird familiar that did her bidding i

1:09:45

know because that teen also turned

1:09:47

himself into a bird got it see

1:09:49

i what my problem really was that i couldn't

1:09:51

focus on what frank oniro was saying at the beginning of this

1:09:53

movie so i missed the whole backstory the

1:09:55

pigeons are all over katie which i was like why you do

1:09:57

that to a child it would be hard to watch your child

1:10:00

Be Pec to death all other things notwithstanding,

1:10:02

you know, like the $1,200 Then

1:10:09

we cut to dr. Walker and all

1:10:11

of his cabal are dead the butler

1:10:13

is like No,

1:10:16

I think he murdered them I think he was in

1:10:18

on it his facial expression is like, oh,

1:10:21

yeah, totally Just another Tuesday

1:10:25

He delivers zero lines in this film

1:10:28

who has time for life Yeah,

1:10:32

yeah, and we cut back

1:10:34

to blonde Jesus and the bald children and I'm a

1:10:36

stunned stunned Katie

1:10:41

is now bald. Yeah, he's hugging a tiny

1:10:43

bald Katie. She's cured. You can't

1:10:45

kill children only the evil part I

1:10:48

guess her hair was the evil part. I

1:10:50

guess Probably the most

1:10:52

positive message we get from the entire film though.

1:10:55

You can't kill children. You can't kill children guys.

1:10:57

Listen, you can't kill children My

1:11:01

last known is just beautiful blonde. She's

1:11:03

oh my god beautiful blonde Jesus He

1:11:05

just he looks like a much

1:11:08

prettier version of the singer of

1:11:10

Nickelback Good

1:11:14

for you Look

1:11:17

at the singer of Nickelback Franco Nero is so

1:11:19

much hotter in the Pope's Exorcist than he is

1:11:21

in this movie. It's true It's true. Yeah, this

1:11:24

movie does not do him the justice that he

1:11:26

does her now Holy

1:11:28

shit, baby Alan, please rate this movie

1:11:30

27 bald children you Flock

1:11:36

of a million pigeons. No, it's

1:11:39

perfection. It's really perfect. Exactly

1:11:42

what I do. It's perfect, but I cannot give it

1:11:44

a 10 What

1:11:49

a goddamn idiot delight when

1:11:52

it ended I was like I

1:11:58

need to see spaghetti else now I have

1:12:00

to see Spaghetti House. What do you do

1:12:02

with real events? How does this work? Oh

1:12:04

no. Oh my god, it's gonna

1:12:06

be so good. How do you make a comedy

1:12:09

out of a real life hostage situation? Taxfully,

1:12:12

I'm sure. Spaghetti

1:12:14

House. Oh

1:12:17

brother, that's a good movie. Thank you for picking it.

1:12:19

Oh, you're so welcome. I convinced Rob to watch with

1:12:21

me. I was like, yeah, it's called The Visitor's About

1:12:23

Aliens. And he was like, oh, I've seen that. And

1:12:26

I was like, oh, okay. And then I put on, he was like, I

1:12:28

have not seen this. No

1:12:30

one has seen this. Sorry, we did it on

1:12:33

our comedy podcast. It's

1:12:36

so good. It's so good. Katie.

1:12:41

Alan. Can I

1:12:43

read you a message from

1:12:45

a Patron? I would

1:12:47

like that very much. This is from

1:12:49

Ian. Hi Ian. Ian says, holy shit,

1:12:52

I just realized these Patreon levels are per month,

1:12:54

not per episode. Ian's are

1:12:56

even better value than I realize. Whoa, Ian.

1:12:58

He's saying we cheat. Ian's willing to give us more

1:13:00

money. Thanks

1:13:02

for doing When Evil Lurks. Oh,

1:13:05

you're welcome. I saw you were doing Watch It.

1:13:07

Listen to the episode. Watch it again. Listen again.

1:13:09

Oh my God. Came to say

1:13:11

thanks. Upgraded my subscription. Well, thank you Ian.

1:13:14

But also, why would you watch that movie twice? Or how

1:13:16

are yous your heart feeling? Are you feeling okay? Cause

1:13:18

that was a rough watch. Ian

1:13:21

sent another message. Okay. Your

1:13:23

Why Am I Like This Comment Totally

1:13:25

Residues. Aww, yeah. I

1:13:27

fear weirdly comforted by horror movies. My

1:13:29

wife and daughter are utterly bemused by

1:13:31

it. But it's pretty far

1:13:34

down the list in ways in which

1:13:36

I am weird to them. Anyway,

1:13:39

thank you both for being the way you are

1:13:42

and creating such a warm and joyful community around

1:13:44

your podcast. Oh, thank you Ian. I'm glad you're

1:13:46

part of it. Ian sent another

1:13:48

message. Ian, Ian's type happy. Ian

1:13:51

was just sending before he was done. I

1:13:54

bet Ian texts like that. He's one of those people that texts you

1:13:56

18 times in a row and you're like, put it all in one,

1:13:58

my dude. I don't need to hear it beep. 18

1:14:00

times. Go on. Heartfelt best wishes

1:14:02

from across the pond. Oh sweetheart.

1:14:04

Sweetheart Ian. And also

1:14:06

use Ian's absolutely correctly.

1:14:08

Great work. Ian

1:14:11

sent us another message. Ian. Ian. Feel

1:14:16

free to use my full name for any shout outs by

1:14:18

the way. Ian, I'm not

1:14:20

doing that. No. I'm giving you

1:14:22

a sense of anonymity. We will call you, I'm

1:14:24

not sure which, I guess I assume he's British

1:14:26

based on saying across the pond. Sure. So I

1:14:28

will call him Sir Ian. Oh.

1:14:32

What if he's in Canada and calls Lake

1:14:34

Erie the pond? That's a big lake. That's

1:14:36

true. You ever been? It's got

1:14:38

a beach. It's nice. Lake

1:14:42

Erie. This episode brought to you

1:14:45

by real simple magazine in Lake Erie. No

1:14:47

longer has flesh eating bacteria that we know

1:14:49

of. Oh

1:14:51

man. I love necrotizing fascia.

1:14:53

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I just love

1:14:56

saying necrotizing fascia. I

1:14:58

just call it flesh eating bacteria. Sure. Because that's

1:15:00

too much for me. For my mush mouth. Your

1:15:03

tragic fresh mouth. Hey, you want to do

1:15:05

another movie? What? Nixy? Maybe Nixy? I

1:15:08

don't know. Tell Jimmy. What are we going to do?

1:15:10

Maybe let's just be done here. Maybe let's end on

1:15:12

the visitor. Alright. I think we had a good run.

1:15:14

I think we had a good run too. No. Do

1:15:17

you think anybody just got scared? No.

1:15:20

Because it wasn't the thing. Let's

1:15:23

do scanners. Yeah. We'll get back into that one. Alan's letting me

1:15:25

pick two movies in a row, which I think is very nice

1:15:27

of him. You picked the fucking gemmiest

1:15:29

gem that we've ever gemmed. Yeah. Thank you. I

1:15:32

feel great about it. There's like,

1:15:34

there's a, I think about it on all these

1:15:36

years, there's like a few movies that I discovered

1:15:38

via this podcast that have like totally changed. Like

1:15:40

Neon Maniac. Yes. I love that

1:15:42

movie. And then now this movie is added

1:15:44

into that pantheon of ridiculous movies with this

1:15:46

podcast introduced me to. Fantastic. Holy

1:15:49

shit. I will watch this movie again and

1:15:51

again. I will too. The next

1:15:53

time I curate a movie marathon, this

1:15:56

will be part of it. I feel like I need

1:15:58

to get into drugs. Oh. Absolutely. Yeah,

1:16:00

I've been really I've been really listening to the

1:16:02

space rock band Hawkwind. Oh my god, you need

1:16:04

drugs Oh, it's like you need drugs. You need

1:16:06

to try LSD. Let's see what this is all about

1:16:09

I mean if you want to I'll do with you. I Love

1:16:11

that for us. I just turned 40 you're about

1:16:13

to turn 50 Let's do

1:16:16

it Sure, baby

1:16:20

LST and talk about scanners. Oh my god,

1:16:22

really? Okay. We're gonna talk about scanners And

1:16:25

how about mushrooms? Yeah, I do

1:16:28

mushroom Pearson

1:16:31

Because you know, I can't buy my own drugs. No, I

1:16:33

know I buy the drugs Thanks

1:16:37

for listening to another episode of werewolf ambulance. Bye.

1:16:39

Bye I

1:17:30

You