0:16

What this movie presupposes is

0:19

that you've never seen the descent and

0:22

thought about what if they went up instead

0:24

of down. Yeah, the up-scent. The up, the

0:26

ascent. This movie should be called The Ascent,

0:29

right? Yes and.

0:31

Yes and. Listen,

0:34

I love you. I love you

0:36

too. I'm never fucking climbing anything for you.

0:38

No, there is no way. If you asked me to climb

0:40

the hill across the street from your house, I'd be like,

0:42

maybe later. I'm a bit tired.

0:46

Also, there's a strict, you better have

0:49

checked all the bolts policy

0:51

in our friendship. I mean, really,

0:53

all friendships are built on trust, right? Yeah.

0:56

Yeah. Not this

0:58

one. There's no relationship built on

1:00

seemingly anything in this movie and

1:03

I love it for it. I

1:05

don't know why these two are friends. I don't know

1:07

what's happening. I don't know why Jeffrey dad

1:09

Morgan and. Why is Jeffrey dad Morgan in

1:11

this for two scenes? What

1:14

are you going to play? I don't know. Someone's dad.

1:17

I guess that's what I do. I'm the supernatural dad. I have

1:19

to do it on Tuesday. That's it. We

1:22

are talking about the 2022. You

1:25

can say. Yes. Movie

1:28

fall fall, which we did because Alan wanted

1:30

to do a movie where people are trapped.

1:32

I wanted to do a stuck movie. A stuck movie,

1:35

which yeah, this is. They

1:37

are. They are. They are. Because

1:39

I'm, I'm, I'm like, like that Ryan,

1:42

Ryan Reynolds, when he's buried on,

1:44

like he, he's, he's, he's interred

1:47

against his will. What's alive? And

1:50

he, like there's an entire movie of him being stuck

1:52

in a coffin. What are you talking about? And it's

1:54

just like, why would that be a movie? I've never

1:56

heard of this in my life. So I was like,

1:58

okay, this is a movie. about two ladies being stuck

2:01

on top of a tower. How

2:03

can that be a movie? How can they do this

2:05

for an hour and 15 minutes, but they fucking do. They

2:08

do. They do. Oh

2:10

man. There's a lot of production companies on

2:12

this. There are, one

2:14

of them is specifically to

2:16

do overdubs. Oh really? So

2:19

to get from R to PG-13, they

2:21

had to get rid of a bunch of fucks. I

2:24

would say fuck a lot if I were in this situation. Oh

2:26

my God, I would not stop saying to like fell. Fuck, fuck,

2:28

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And then

2:30

fuck. Fuck. So

2:33

there's a scene where Hunter

2:36

is saying, this freaking thing is the

2:38

only happen. And I'm not gonna happen

2:40

with this freaking situation at all. Where

2:43

apparently that production company was involved in doing

2:45

like deep fake stuff. Oh shit. So they

2:47

like deep faked her face to make it

2:50

and like she overdub freaking. Wow. To make

2:52

it look like she was saying freaking. Are

2:54

they, are we gonna get, are we gonna get deep

2:57

faked at some point? I hope not. I

2:59

hope not too. I hope we get

3:01

a WikiFeet before we get deep faked. Yeah, I

3:04

know someone tried to make a Wikipedia for us and

3:06

it was denied because we weren't famous enough. Yeah.

3:08

Yeah. I appreciate that. Yeah, that's good enough

3:10

for me really. Hold

3:13

on one second. Yeah. Oh

3:15

yeah. Sound of freedom. Feels good.

3:17

Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot

3:19

of icy light. It is a lot of icy light. I apparently not

3:21

allowed to buy small beer cans for you. No,

3:24

I love that you buy the biggest beers you can

3:26

find. Thank you so much. Is

3:28

this cause a lot of eventually be bringing kegs up in

3:31

the air? Hey, Patrons, this is

3:33

what your money buys. It's Alan buying me 24 ounce

3:35

icy light. And

3:37

goes to sponsorships for Enjoy

3:40

Wrestling. Yes, our friends at Enjoy Wrestling

3:42

have a show this Sunday which

3:44

you will miss because this episode comes out on Monday. But

3:46

those episodes will be coming out on YouTube

3:49

and you can watch them there and you

3:51

absolutely should. And you should watch all of

3:53

their episodes because Enjoy Wrestling is fantastic. And

3:56

we are going to be

3:58

sponsoring the YouTube. War

4:05

Famulants while you're watching. I enjoy wrestling. Do you

4:07

see all your friends together all at once? Wait,

4:09

are we sponsoring the live show too? No,

4:12

I think it's just going to be for the live show. Okay, good.

4:14

Because I heard we got a smattering of applause last time we

4:16

sponsored it. And I don't

4:18

find that very comforting. Oh.

4:22

Yay. They

4:24

did it. Look,

4:26

most of our listenership is not in Pittsburgh. It's

4:28

true. It's true. It's hard for people around the

4:31

world to clap in a live venue. Although

4:33

today I was at Sandcastle, which is our

4:35

local water park, and I saw a man

4:38

with a full back piece of the Michael

4:40

Myers mask. And I like grabbed pie

4:42

by the arm and I was like, I think that guy listens to my show. So

4:46

if you're out there full Michael Myers back piece,

4:49

I love it. I bet he left us

4:51

a review recently that just said, blah, lame.

4:54

Yeah, I mean, we had that coming though. That's

4:56

fine. Blah.

4:58

And we are lame. It's true. Fuck

5:01

it. I have trouble getting up

5:03

steps sometimes. Anyway. I don't know what you're

5:05

going to do. Lionsgate

5:07

Capstone Buzzfeed Studios.

5:11

Yes, I wanted to talk about, does Buzzfeed

5:13

still have a movie arm? I

5:15

don't think so. Does Buzzfeed still have a

5:17

Buzzfeed? I have no idea. I haven't taken

5:19

a quiz in a really long time. They're

5:21

just an aggregator of quizzes now. T-Shop

5:26

and Flawless. Flawless

5:28

is the deep fake

5:30

company. Wow, Flawless. Flawless. What

5:33

a name for your deep fake production company. Yeah. Wow.

5:36

When are they going to

5:39

stop having actors? Soon

5:41

I would guess. Right. But

5:43

also like we love these people so we want to see

5:45

them do things. I feel

5:47

like pop stars and wrestlers

5:49

are replacing movie stars. Is

5:52

that true? I think so. I've been

5:54

in a movie in a while except for the Garfield movie, which I

5:56

would highly not recommend going to see. I

5:58

feel like I hear more. about like Ice

6:01

Spice and... Ice Spice? Yeah,

6:03

yeah. Is that one of the Spice Girls that I

6:06

don't know about, the Six Spice Girls? Six Spice Girls.

6:08

She felt on stage and no one looked at her.

6:10

Wait, genuinely who is Ice Spice? Oh, she is. She's

6:12

a rapper. She's an MC. She has long

6:14

red hair and a big booty. Sure.

6:17

She does a lot of clapping cheeks on stage. I

6:19

mean, if you got a big booty, you pop those

6:21

cheeks. She

6:23

was on a really boring hot

6:25

ones. You love hot ones. I'm

6:28

loving it less and less as it goes on, except for

6:30

the... of

6:33

my internet or YouTube recommendations,

6:35

I always recommend Taskmaster to

6:37

everybody. Sure. I

6:39

always recommend the Juvenile episode of

6:41

Tiny Desk Concert. Tiny Desk Juvenile.

6:44

And I will recommend the... The

6:46

greatest love song ever written. I

6:49

forgot to add that. And the

6:51

Conan O'Brien hot ones episode. Okay.

6:53

He is phenomenal. Really? Oh my

6:56

god. He's just like,

6:58

oh, this is stupid, so I'm gonna be fucking insane. I

7:00

mean, he seems like a great guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

7:02

just don't want anyone to see me eat wings. I

7:04

feel like eating wings is a very private thing. Sure.

7:06

Yeah. Sure. That's why you always do it

7:08

in a closet. That's why I say... Like golem. Facing

7:11

a corner with like

7:13

a pile of napkins in my

7:15

lab. My precious. My precious. What

7:18

a fucking dumb nightmare hobby this whole movie is. Oh

7:20

my god. What a fucking dumb nightmare hobby.

7:22

Get better hobbies. I will

7:24

give this movie this credit. Okay.

7:26

Okay. I have an extreme fear

7:28

of heights. Like extreme.

7:30

Like I get vertigo. Sure. I get

7:33

the like, hey, look at that and

7:35

start leaning forward when I'm looking over

7:37

a precipice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your body's

7:39

like, well, if we're gonna go, let's fucking go. You've

7:41

been talking about this for a while, buddy. So

7:46

this movie like had a pit in my

7:48

stomach for the duration. I'm not

7:50

terribly afraid of heights, but I am

7:53

afraid of dying. Sure. You know. Yeah.

7:55

So this film opens on

7:57

Kuba Gooding, Junior

8:00

Junior. Oh my god, it was

8:02

Kuba Gooding Junior Junior. It's Mason, Mason

8:04

Gooding. He has very little to do

8:06

in this movie. Yeah, he's got a, uh, a less

8:09

than Harry dad, uh, Harry

8:12

Dean Stanton, Jeffrey dad Morgan role

8:15

in this movie. Yeah, he's got one

8:17

scene and that's it. Yeah. Yeah. And

8:19

a lot of photos. Yeah. He

8:22

is the husband of our protagonist.

8:24

And then our point of view

8:26

character, if you will, point of

8:28

view character, Becky, they are

8:32

climbers. Yeah. Yeah. Free

8:34

climbers. Well, they had ropes, right? Or were they

8:36

just attached to each other? They were just attached to

8:38

each other because they're, they love each other that

8:40

much. He's

8:43

like, can you unclip and I'd be like,

8:45

no, a fucking course. I cannot unclip motherfucker

8:47

dog. I'm literally shitting myself and I cannot move. And

8:49

I don't know how I got up here and I

8:51

don't know what I'm doing. There's just

8:53

no fucking way. There's just no fucking way.

8:55

I've climbed like 30 foot ladders and gotten

8:57

to the top of me. Like, I don't

9:00

know if I can get back down. How are you going to get back? I don't know

9:02

how to get back down. I mean, upper ladders way easier than

9:04

climbing down. When they were climbing this ladder, I was

9:06

like, you could have climbed 2000 feet down a ladder.

9:08

You can't just do that. You just

9:10

slide down like a fireman. Well, they didn't do

9:13

that at any point in the movie, which I kept thinking they

9:15

should do. I would

9:17

have tried anyway. There's so many

9:19

things they could have done and we will get to

9:21

it. So they're climbing this mountain and

9:25

Hunter is just a wild card. She's gone

9:27

off on her own. Hunter's the best friend.

9:30

She's off running around on the mountain like a

9:32

billy goat or a mountain goat even. She's

9:34

got these big tits and no cares to give. I

9:38

mean, really. They've got a nice set. What would

9:40

you really... The thing about having nice

9:42

tits is that you can do whatever

9:44

you want in this world. She's like,

9:46

I got great tits. I'm putting them out there.

9:49

I love when she says tits for clicks later.

9:51

Tits for clicks. I really thought like, wow, maybe

9:53

we could be doing better. I do have a

9:55

nice rack. You have beautiful tits, Alan. And don't

9:57

let anyone tell you otherwise. I won't. So

10:00

there she's off on her own and these

10:02

two are roped together and Becky slips and

10:05

Koopa Gooding jr. Junior is like, you know

10:07

what? We've got you. Somebody's gonna suck that

10:10

baby stick. Everything's okay He

10:14

has never said somebody suck that baby

10:16

stick like his dad did Koopa

10:18

Gooding jr. So

10:24

he's like, all right, well we got this you're

10:26

gonna be fine you're gonna be safe and then

10:28

he falls somehow I don't know

10:31

So he's hanging and dangling. Yeah,

10:34

and he's like, can you unclip and I

10:36

was like, what is that gonna do? You're

10:38

hanging sir Yeah, and also like if they're not

10:41

Wait, I think Hunter

10:43

is free climbing but they're clipped into

10:45

the mountain. That's true. Is that not I don't

10:47

know what for you? Alan what the fuck would I know?

10:50

That's gonna talk up your fingy tips.

10:53

I don't I have very weak upper

10:55

body strength And

10:58

I have very weak lower body strength

11:00

my lower body is very heavy. It's very hard for the

11:02

upper body to pull it Literally

11:06

never done a pull-up in my life in my whole life

11:09

Maybe we should learn to do pull-ups and put it on YouTube and

11:11

we'll put our tits out and then maybe we'll get money Listeners

11:15

would you like to see our

11:17

collective tips? I think they would

11:19

I think this could be our gold mine.

11:22

Absolutely I think like struggling to do a

11:24

pull-up There was a certain segment of

11:26

society that would love to see me doing shirtless

11:28

pull-ups And there's a more

11:30

that right into our show and they're like Alan's

11:32

just so cute There's

11:36

a much larger segment on society that would like

11:38

to see you doing shirtless pull-ups So

11:44

he she on clips yes young clips which

11:47

I don't know what that does and then he

11:49

dips he dips and Then it

11:51

comes out of the rock. I don't know and he dies

11:53

and he does and he does and that's it for

11:55

this this actor He dies in

11:57

a beautifully CGI way bad.

12:01

I feel like he was laying on a gym mat just

12:03

like waving his arms and legs being like ahhhh.

12:06

And the gym mat was on

12:08

a lazy Susan spinning around. What

12:10

a shit-ass movie this is. But

12:15

I do have a note that says that jump

12:17

made my tummy jump. When hunters like leaps at

12:19

one point for another rock crevasse

12:22

grippy thing and I was just like I

12:24

hate this I wish this wasn't happening. None

12:26

of this got me for anything. Oh god I

12:28

was like ugh. This is to

12:30

me the descent without all of the things

12:33

that scared me about the descent. Sure. Which

12:35

is like small spaces, being underground. This is

12:37

like alright well whatever you're just floating around

12:39

in the air. It's fine. Oh that's right. He

12:42

falls because he

12:44

goes to clip in on the inside of

12:46

a cave and there's a

12:48

bird in there and the bird flies out. Was

12:50

it a bird? Was it a bat? What the

12:52

fuck was it? I was like are there gonna be little

12:54

tiny cave monsters? What's happening here? There are no monsters in

12:56

this movie there should have been. So

12:59

like he falls yeah I for one am

13:01

unsurprised like what did you think might happen?

13:05

I feel like this is just yes

13:07

this is every third climb someone is

13:09

going to do this. Right. Jump

13:12

to 51 weeks later. We're

13:14

just not adrenaline junkies you and me.

13:16

Oh no. No. Adrenaline makes

13:19

me uncomfortable. No it makes me sweat a

13:21

lot. I'm already very sweaty. Like

13:24

when I think I'm about to get into

13:26

a fight and then your adrenaline kicks in

13:28

you're like I can't see straight right now.

13:30

The next time you feel that way you just let me know

13:33

and I'll fight them for you. Okay alright alright bring

13:35

a locator. Fighting gives me

13:37

clarity. That's not true. I

13:39

used to black out what I thought. Really? Yeah it

13:42

wasn't good. It's like oh you're probably gonna kill somebody

13:44

you should stop doing this. Why you stop drinking a

13:46

liquor though. Yeah yeah yeah. Well no this was when

13:48

I was a child. Oh when you were created. And

13:50

I used to get into fights. I mean I was

13:52

like 12. Oh buddy. Yeah so I used to get

13:55

into fights all the time and I would black out

13:57

and like one time I woke up like or came

13:59

to you. like a few yards down from where

14:01

the fight started and I was just beating the

14:03

shit out of somebody and I was like, I need

14:05

to stop doing this. So I became a pacifist.

14:08

So you became a pacifist. Yeah. And then

14:10

you became straight edge. Yeah. And then you

14:12

became vegan. Yeah. And now you drink beers

14:14

and eat eggs. So we're fine. Yeah. You

14:16

and I are cool. Still anarchist, just don't

14:18

talk about it. Still anarchist, but like you've

14:21

heard that, um, the song, a

14:23

big against me song. I was a teenage anarchist and

14:26

it hit you close to home. True. You

14:29

know, you listen to that song and you're like, I

14:31

did want to put the

14:33

world on fire. I still kind

14:36

of do, but I'm a middle aged anarchist,

14:38

right? True. I'd

14:40

rather read books called 1776 about

14:44

the years of the American Revolution broke up.

14:47

Are you just reading history? Yeah. I'm a dad. I'm

14:50

not a dad. You have no children. That

14:53

I know of. You're a weird uncle. You're

14:56

my kid, the weird uncle. It's

15:00

one of my great honors. It's really is. So

15:03

50 weeks, 51 weeks

15:06

later, we've got the cremains

15:08

for a CGJJ and

15:10

they're in the house. CGJJ. They

15:12

have an answering machine. It's 2022.

15:15

I have not had an answering

15:17

machine since like

15:21

2002. Yeah. When's

15:23

the last time you had an answering machine? Oh, actually

15:25

you have one. It's downstairs. I saw it. No, I

15:28

don't. You did at least as of

15:30

a couple of years ago. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:32

That was never mine. I have never given out the

15:34

phone number that used to be connected to this house.

15:36

All right. Well, I just would come

15:38

over and there'd be like 56 new messages on

15:40

it. Yeah. When it got to 99, it

15:43

would stop accepting the messages. That's

15:45

when we got rid of it. So

15:47

she's drunk. She's not talking to

15:50

her dad and her dad's like, uh,

15:52

I just want to help. Uh,

15:54

your husband was a piece of shit and you never should

15:57

have married him. And I don't understand why you're sad that

15:59

this piece of shit. and you're like, I

16:01

don't know if that was the right

16:03

approach. I've got this weird fascist haircut

16:05

because I'm filming the Walking Dead right

16:07

now. Oh, wait, is he in the

16:09

Walking Dead? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that

16:11

show still on? No, I think there's

16:14

like 57 offshoots of it now. I

16:16

think there's one called Fear

16:18

the Walking Dead. Yeah,

16:21

he's like, whatever the hell this is that you're doing, it's

16:23

like, yeah, she's grieving your dead husband. He's

16:27

a tough love, dad. He's a tough love, dad. Yeah, he

16:29

also has a bad episode of Hot Ones. Tell

16:32

me about his bad episode. He's just kind of,

16:34

he comes off as a dick, kind of.

16:36

Jeffrey Dean Morgan? Yes, yes, Harry Dean Stanton

16:38

Morgan. He

16:41

talks about how he lives in upstate New

16:43

York and would

16:46

love to. No, the Finger Lakes are gorgeous.

16:48

Have you been to Ithaca? Oh,

16:51

what a beautiful town. Yeah, it's gorgeous. I

16:54

would love to go, I would love to live anywhere

16:57

in the Hudson River Valley, just beautiful up there. Fucking

17:00

go, then. All right. You live

17:02

in the Ohio River Valley now. Anyway,

17:04

he's just talking about how whenever I

17:06

see people driving around Subaru, far stars,

17:09

I flip them off because they're probably

17:11

not locals. I'm just like, fuck you,

17:13

you weirdo. They have a sensible automobile

17:15

with four-wheel drive? Literally

17:18

every third person I know drives a Subaru.

17:21

They can't all have a 2011 Toyota Corolla. Or

17:25

probably a Land Rover or probably an

17:27

old 80s pickup truck that he's

17:29

gotten refurbished that he didn't actually refurbish. I'm

17:31

going to piss on that guy's face. Yeah.

17:36

Don't shrug at me. He probably

17:38

liked it. So

17:41

yeah, he meets

17:43

her outside of the bar waiting at

17:45

her car and he gives her the come

17:48

to Jesus talk, basically. Like, you got to

17:50

stop this. Your husband wasn't being shit. I

17:52

just don't think that's the right approach. She doesn't

17:54

want to hear that. If you want your baby

17:57

girl to come back home. Annoyingly

18:00

looking at wedding photos when she's stuck up

18:02

top the tower and she zooms in her

18:04

dad's face looking at you So

18:11

it's her best friend though, so everybody did not

18:13

want these two to get married What

18:17

is her ringtone Alan oh Well,

18:20

I think it's just specifically for Haunter

18:24

Her ringtone really yeah, yeah, cuz there's a different

18:26

ringtone when dad calls it some other like that

18:28

was also cherry pie Oh

18:30

my god Why would

18:32

a woman who was probably born

18:34

this century? Choose

18:36

cherry pie the world's

18:39

grossest song about fucking

18:41

a teenager virgin Yeah,

18:43

yeah as her ringtone. Yeah a song

18:45

that apparently was written as like hey,

18:47

we need another song. Okay. Here's this

18:50

I ate it And that was like

18:52

their hit time hit. Yeah, all right Pita to Jamie

18:54

Lane No

18:57

one knows that person's name, but you literally no

19:00

one the singer he passed away when

19:02

Oh a decade

19:04

ago probably rip

19:08

Sorry, his family's probably still sad So

19:13

she goes home and And

19:15

she's gonna she's just she's gonna end it. She's

19:17

gonna she's gonna down a bunch of Advil. I

19:19

don't even know what it is a

19:23

Prescription bottle written to Angela

19:25

someone we never know who

19:27

Angela But

19:34

she she she's about to take the pills

19:36

and that's when warrants cherry pie kicks in

19:38

can you just I mean

19:40

can you just Imagine being somewhere and

19:43

your phone starts ringing and it's playing

19:45

cherry pie Yeah, why wouldn't you do

19:47

like body talk by rat or? Round

19:50

and round by rat or yeah any

19:52

rat song with two T's This

19:56

is the only the rat songs I know actually no Don't

20:00

do it. We know you were born in the 70s.

20:04

And grew up on butt rock. Hell yeah.

20:08

We called it glam metal. The

20:14

call is from Hunter. It's from Hunter. And

20:16

she has this great plan. Yeah. They're

20:19

gonna climb the B67 TV tower.

20:22

And they're gonna scatter Dan's ashes from the

20:24

top. Did Dan's parents not want

20:26

any of his ashes? I thought the same fucking

20:28

thing. I guess

20:30

if you're the wife, you get the ashes. Yeah,

20:32

but I feel like I'd give some away. Yeah,

20:35

I was surprised they were married, actually. Yeah, because

20:37

they're both like 12, too. I

20:41

had the shocking realization when I was looking at somebody's age

20:43

for some, it might've been for this movie, and

20:45

they were 29 years old and born in 1995.

20:48

And I was like, no, 1995, I was doing things. No,

20:51

yeah, 1995, I was getting ready for

20:53

high school. That's not

20:56

right. No, you can't be born in 1995.

20:59

I could've had a kid, I would've been 21, had

21:01

a kid, they would be 30 years old, or almost

21:03

30 years old. And you might, who

21:05

can say? Yeah, who can say? You never know. I

21:07

was just skeetin' all over the place. So. Alan,

21:10

Jesus. If

21:15

you're scared of dying, don't be afraid to live. Just

21:17

fuck without a condom and maybe have a

21:19

30-year-old. That's what Alan's saying to you. I

21:24

told you about the time that I was at a propaganda

21:26

show in Philadelphia. No. Okay, was that

21:28

a propaganda show in Philadelphia? I love propaganda. Doesn't, they're

21:30

great. Never got to see them live. Oh, and you still have a

21:32

chance, they're still around. They don't tour

21:34

here. No, they don't tour much. Yeah, because

21:36

they're like 60. My

21:39

age. I do

21:42

love propaganda. Anyway,

21:44

I went out to Philly because Carcass was playing one night in

21:47

propaganda, he was playing the next night. So I'm at the propaganda

21:49

show. And. Hasn't

21:52

Lyra always been hanging there? I'm sorry, my hand

21:54

just keeps hitting this Elvira. Stand

21:57

out. That Alan has on his wall.

21:59

Yeah. Alright, I'm sorry. I'm a little drunker

22:01

than I usually am. So

22:05

I'm coming out of the propaganda show with my friends, and

22:07

a woman approaches me and says, she says, I

22:09

have someone I want you to meet. Okay. And

22:12

I say, don't do this

22:14

to me. Wait, what year is this? This

22:16

is 2009. 2009. You're married. Oh

22:20

yeah, yeah, yeah, I was still married at the time. And

22:23

she comes up to me and she's like, hey,

22:25

this is my son, blah blah blah. I was like,

22:27

oh, he used

22:29

to sleep on my chest when he was first born. I

22:32

was friends with his parents. Okay. And like,

22:34

when he was first born, like, I would spend time at their

22:36

house and he would just nap on my chest. This is not

22:38

your baby, is it? This is not my baby. This is where

22:40

you feel that you have a baby. But I'm like, oh God,

22:42

you're fucking 16. This is bananas. I'm

22:44

freaking out. Yeah. So we're walking away and my

22:46

friend goes, is that your kid? Is

22:50

it your kid? And I would be like, yeah, you've

22:52

known me long enough to know that I would

22:54

be ignoring a child for this long. No, I'm

22:56

going to choose to believe that you have a

22:58

30 year old child out there. If

23:01

you're Alan's child, write in. I want

23:03

to, we'll chat, you and me. Write

23:06

to Katie. Write to Katie. It's werewolfhammeals.gmail.com.

23:08

Alan checks it. I'm just going to

23:10

disappoint you. Mm. I

23:13

mean, me too. Imagine? I'm just

23:15

disappointing my own biological child, so. Not

23:18

true. And imagine if I had a

23:21

child and the way they found me

23:23

was this fucking podcast. Or a propaganda

23:25

show. In a parking lot.

23:28

What a great way to live. I just got

23:30

done listening to Scott Sucks and then I met

23:33

my real dad. Come on, propaganda. You know that's

23:35

not true. And if

23:37

you believe that's not true, go to

23:39

teepublic.com, search for werewolfhammeals, and buy our

23:41

general Scott'spital shirt. Someone just bought a general

23:43

Scott'spital magnet. Great. And while we make zero

23:45

money from it. Zero dollars. I was very

23:47

excited that this will be on their refrigerator

23:49

and every day they'll go, forever.

23:54

I don't know if we can get magnets from our stuff. Oh, yeah. teepublic.com,

23:57

search for werewolfhammeals, with so much.

23:59

much merch. We make

24:01

no money on it. It's just for you. It's for you.

24:03

It's for you and T-Public. I think

24:06

they make all the money. I ordered this Tribe

24:08

Called Quest tank top that I'm wearing currently. I'm

24:10

wearing the greatest Tribe Called Quest tank top

24:12

I've ever seen in my life. It's also the

24:14

only Tribe Called Quest tank shop I've ever seen.

24:16

It comes

24:19

in an envelope that says, thanks for

24:21

supporting independent artists. And I was like,

24:23

this is a bootleg t-shirt. Yeah, somebody

24:25

stole that. You know what?

24:27

I did buy a replacements on T-Public. Now I feel

24:29

bad. I feel

24:31

like as long as the band can't be a

24:33

band anymore, you got

24:35

some dead members. Well, replacements could still do

24:38

it, but they just, eh. They couldn't

24:40

do it when they were all alive. I know.

24:42

I had tickets to their show

24:44

at stage A.E. That fucking day I

24:46

was getting myself hyped to see my

24:49

favorite band of all time, The Replacements,

24:51

and got a message that was like,

24:53

oh, Tommy's in the

24:55

hospital. Fuck you! I'll

24:58

never get to see The Replacements and it breaks my goddamn heart.

25:00

They are the greatest example of a band that couldn't get

25:02

out of their own way. Could have

25:04

been the biggest band in the world. Could have been the

25:06

biggest band in the world. Oh my god. This is

25:08

Alex Chilton by The Replacements.

25:10

Yeah. I think that's advice we give

25:13

like every 10 episodes. Alexa,

25:15

play Alex Chilton by The

25:17

Replacements. You too, Siri and or Google. I don't

25:19

know if that works. I don't know if that works. Anyway, we have

25:22

a movie to talk about. We do. Yeah.

25:24

But it's a movie about people climbing things.

25:27

So she's going to do it. I mean, not

25:29

much happens. Hunter is a YouTuber. Oh

25:31

god. And she says, I

25:34

have to be doing dangerous shit

25:40

to keep my blood pumping. No, ma'am. It

25:42

will do it on its own. Or

25:45

it won't and then goodbye. And then

25:47

rip, because it wasn't for you. Living.

25:49

I love that everything in this movie

25:51

is unbelievably

25:54

telegraphed. Oh, we're looking

25:56

through Hunter's phone and there's a picture of

25:58

her and Becky's like,

26:00

oh my god, you've never looked happier.

26:02

Who took this photograph? Whose arm is

26:04

around you? Yeah, it's your fucking husband, you

26:07

dipshit. No one's arm. No one's arm. Nobody's arm.

26:09

That's my third arm that I got removed and

26:11

didn't tell you about. Also, imagine taking photos

26:13

with your affair partner. Just don't.

26:16

Don't. I feel like these dummies on their phones all

26:18

the time probably do it. You think

26:20

so? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're stupid. Yeah.

26:22

I almost got hit by a woman who

26:24

had her phone up in front of her

26:26

face while driving. Oh, Jesus. Why

26:29

do you scream at people regularly for

26:31

almost hitting me in a crosswalk? Oh,

26:34

man. Why do we live here? Why do we live in the

26:36

east end where everybody just wants to run us over? Because

26:40

it's really nice. Otherwise. It is really

26:42

nice otherwise. Stop trying to hit us,

26:44

okay? So

26:48

they're gonna do the climb. They're in

26:50

a diner. Yes. And this

26:53

is where we get check off electrical

26:55

outlets. No

26:58

way can you charge a phone on a lamp.

27:00

That's not true, is it? I don't wanna find

27:02

out because I know I will electrocute myself. Yeah,

27:04

one hundo. I don't think you should

27:06

plug an

27:09

electrical cable into an open

27:12

socket. You know why you say that? You know why you're

27:14

saying that? No, tell me why. Not an adrenaline junkie. Not

27:16

an adrenaline junkie. I'm very sedate.

27:19

Outlets are for cowards. I

27:22

mean, I think outlets should be really well

27:24

regulated. I just run around a Lick power

27:26

station. I don't even give a shit. I have this pair

27:28

of tweezers in my hand and I think I might just shove it in there

27:30

and see what happens. Oh, I

27:32

blew across the room. Tits for

27:34

clicks. Tits for clicks. I do think

27:37

that's a good business model. Oh

27:39

yeah, who's the lady from the good

27:41

place? She's

27:46

the British lady on the good place. Why can't I think

27:48

of her name? Jamila Jamil? Yes, Jamila Jamil. She

27:52

does these posts where she'll just have most of her boobs

27:54

out and be like, hey, I know you're paying attention now.

27:56

So anyway, I wanted to talk to you about this thing

27:58

that's going on. Wow. I was

28:00

like, oh, yeah, that's really funny. So

28:02

yeah, she's Danger D on YouTube. I

28:05

mean, what the fuck is your life?

28:07

Do you ever watch those YouTubes of

28:09

people doing like parkour across like

28:12

city skylines? Sure. Yeah. What the fuck

28:14

are these people doing? Grow up. I

28:18

love it when they hop up things, like the ultimate

28:20

ninja challenge shit, where they're just like, oh,

28:22

just run up a building real quick. You

28:25

can't just run up a building. They can. They do it.

28:27

Well, good for them. Yeah. Yeah. I can't just run

28:29

up a building. No, no, I can. No. So

28:33

Danger D is going to take Danger

28:36

C on

28:38

a Becky on this climbing

28:41

of this tower. She's videoing

28:43

herself while driving like a real piece of

28:45

shit. Sure. Don't do this. Sure. And

28:47

she, like her friend's like, I don't want to be on

28:49

the video. And she immediately puts her friend on the video.

28:51

Yeah, she sucks. Yeah. Actually, everything she does sucks.

28:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's bad. She's a bad friend.

28:56

She's a bad person. She

28:58

convinces Becky to go climb this B67 TV

29:00

tower, which was

29:03

at one point the largest structure in the United States and

29:05

is now the fourth largest structure in the United States at

29:07

2,000 feet tall. Yeah. Do

29:10

things like this really exist? This is based

29:12

on an actual tower somewhere in Arizona. Really?

29:14

The bottom of something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why

29:16

would a TV tower need to be 2,000

29:18

feet tall? I guess

29:21

because you're in the middle of a desert. You know

29:23

how I feel about deserts. It's

29:25

a mistake. We shouldn't

29:27

be there. Nomadic lifestyle at

29:29

best. I mean, you

29:32

can't live there. You can't grow things.

29:36

I don't know what people can do. You

29:38

can if you divert rivers, if

29:41

you drain aquifers. Try to grow a

29:43

tomato in Nevada and then come back to

29:45

me. Thinking about tomatoes, say not

29:47

to diverge once again. No, this is our job.

29:50

They're indigenous to this part of the

29:52

world. And then they got to

29:54

Italy. We'll do a lot of parts of the world.

29:57

Well, no, they came from North America or South America,

29:59

North America. Yeah, and they got to Italy.

30:02

No, the Italians have a first. No! And they got to

30:04

Italy, and the Italians were like, Holy

30:06

shit! This is our entire thing from here

30:08

on out. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

30:11

Well, that makes my Welcome to Garlic World tattoo very strange. Well,

30:15

that's, I don't know where garlic came from. I

30:18

feel like garlic is all over the place. I

30:20

just didn't know the tomatoes weren't ours. Yeah, I

30:22

don't believe they are. I believe they are, uh, in, they

30:24

started off in North or South

30:26

America. I'm disappointed by this. I'm disappointed in my

30:28

people. Why?

30:30

They adopted the thing and made it their own. Yeah,

30:33

we did. And then we somehow, like, accepted

30:36

that it was theirs? That doesn't seem very American. True.

30:41

Give us our maters back. Anyway,

30:44

so they see these vultures eating a

30:46

deer, pig, a deer pig. That's

30:49

not a deer or a pig. I don't

30:51

know what the fuck that was. Sort of

30:53

desert wallaby? Look, don't live in the

30:55

desert. And they're like,

30:57

get away from it. It's still alive. And

31:00

I was like, dog, let them kill it. Let them kill

31:02

it. You're not going to kill it. No. They're

31:05

also like, the gate is locked to get to

31:07

the tower. Like, why the fuck wouldn't it be

31:09

locked? And then they're like, oh my God, we

31:11

have to walk there. Like, you're going to climb

31:13

this thing, but bulk it walking the equivalent of

31:15

10 to 20 city blocks.

31:18

Yeah. Yeah. So

31:20

you ever seen a vulture in

31:22

real life? Yeah. I don't like

31:24

them. Sure. I don't

31:27

think they're here for you to like. No. They're

31:29

not here to make friends. They're here to win. All

31:31

we have here is turkey vultures, which are

31:34

even weirder because they have the gobble, like

31:36

the like hangy thing that they're, oh my

31:38

God, they're enormous. They're really big.

31:40

They just are so disgusting. They're

31:42

so disgusting. And they just fly in circles above dead things. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

31:45

It's cool. Yeah. Yeah. I

31:47

like them. You like that? Yeah, they take care

31:49

of business. I mean, they're just out there doing their best.

31:52

Sure. Yeah. I mean, if you look like that, you'd be like, well,

31:54

I guess he's just dead. So you look at me. I mean,

31:56

I'm not going to, no one's going to feed me. No

31:59

one wants to be. My friend except these other guys that look

32:01

just like me. Exactly. And these women call the

32:03

vultures pricks, which I think is rude because they

32:05

are just out here doing their best. Don't

32:08

worry, the vultures take Umbridge and we'll be

32:10

returning. Look, the vultures are the real protagonists

32:12

of this film where they're like, look, we

32:15

need to eat. Yeah. And you

32:17

people are stupid. So, transit

32:20

of property. So, Katie, as

32:22

an adrenaline junkie. Me. Yes.

32:25

Yeah. We walk up to this tower. Oh my god,

32:27

yes. The first foot that you put on this tower.

32:29

Yeah. The ladder goes, wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble. I'm

32:32

like, I'm climbing 2000 feet on this because I

32:34

just want to get my heart racing. Let

32:36

me get my shimmy shake up. I

32:40

don't like my heart to race. No. No. That's

32:43

a bad thing for your heart to do. Yeah, I mean,

32:45

I think unless you're like exercising, I think it's

32:47

bad. Or falling in love. Oh,

32:49

cute. So,

32:53

the whole tower is a rusty piece of shit. Yeah. And

32:57

in the first like 20 rungs, one of

33:00

them breaks on Becky. Yes. And

33:03

Becky does not want to do this. No. And

33:05

Hunter's like, after Dan died, I was afraid

33:07

of my own shadow. But I pushed through,

33:10

okay. Yeah, that was like also her husband.

33:12

And also, you're a terrible fucking friend. She

33:15

really just is an asshole. She really is.

33:17

Yeah. So, we

33:19

see them climbing up this ladder and like a

33:21

support rope wavers. And then

33:23

a rung breaks and a bolt wiggles.

33:25

Which is foreshadowing. This

33:28

movie, it ain't holding nothing back. No

33:31

cars behind its back. It's letting you know everything

33:33

that's going to happen. And Hunter is climbing

33:35

in chucks, which I think is very silly because they're

33:37

so slippy on the bottom. It's true. As

33:39

a chuck wearer. Yeah. Always

33:41

slippy. I fall down all the time. I

33:43

feel like climbing. It's raining. I'm on my ass.

33:46

Climbing in slip-on vans. Mm-hmm.

33:49

That can't be right. And I

33:52

think I own those Meryl shoes that the

33:54

other movies have. Do you? Yeah, because they're

33:56

very similar to the trail running

33:58

shoes that I have. up on Brooks.

34:01

No, no, I thought that was a

34:03

while ago. Still rocking my Brooks. So

34:07

like there's like a

34:09

bird's nest and a loose screw next to

34:11

it. And I just have a note that

34:14

says fuck all of this. Fuck every last

34:16

bit of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so

34:19

Becky wants to go down and Hunter says,

34:21

if I let you go back down now,

34:24

fear wins. Okay.

34:26

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

34:28

No, no, that's fine. Yeah. I'm afraid of a lot

34:31

of things. Yeah. Yeah. And those things have kept me

34:33

alive to this point. Yeah. Like getting

34:35

hit by a car or cancer. So

34:38

I just look both ways and get mammograms, you

34:40

know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And

34:43

you Hunter and

34:47

Hunter. So they, they

34:49

get to the currently for the first like

34:51

thousand feet or something 1800

34:53

feet. They're climbing inside

34:57

of this skeleton

34:59

frame of a tower. Right.

35:01

The, the ladder is positioned inside

35:04

the, like the, the structure.

35:06

So theoretically you have other

35:08

things to grab onto. You really don't.

35:10

You really don't. Yeah. But you have

35:12

that like false sense of security at

35:14

any rate. I guess. I guess I'm

35:16

not that stupid. So I don't know.

35:18

Is that the problem? We

35:21

have too smart to

35:24

know to do this. Um,

35:28

so the, the, they have to get up to

35:30

a point where they, they get to a point

35:32

where they're now climbing outside of this cage. They

35:34

have to like, kind of do this.

35:36

Um, this is a very squeezy spot

35:38

to get to the outside ladder, which

35:40

is very decent. Like that scene

35:43

where she gets stuck in the thing and they got to pull

35:45

her through. And she hears the hilarious joke that I like to tell

35:47

you all the time. Cause you always forget it. How do you give

35:50

a lemon an orgasm? How do you give

35:52

a lemon an orgasm? You tickle it. Citrus.

35:57

Never going to do it for me. I

36:00

like it because it doesn't work. I

36:03

mean, citrus isn't a word! But

36:06

clitoris is and citrus is. Yeah,

36:08

no I get it. Thank you. So

36:13

they get around the squeezy bit and Hunter's

36:15

like, it's smooth as sailing. Not a phrase.

36:18

Not a phrase that you say. When Hunter

36:20

goes around it, she just grabs like

36:22

the outside of the ladder, but

36:24

when Becky goes she like squeezes

36:26

her butt between. Well Hunter

36:29

has to squeeze her gigantic tits

36:31

between the ladder and the tower.

36:33

That are in like a Bridgerton-esque

36:36

push-up bra. Like they're shooting

36:38

for her ears. Yeah, it

36:40

might sound like we're being mean about her tits, but it's

36:42

a plot point. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And

36:45

it will come in useful. But

36:48

when they get on the outside ladder,

36:51

Hunter grabs it and shakes it.

36:53

Mm-hmm. And says, does this feel

36:55

loose to you? And

36:58

just fucking climbs it. No.

37:01

What are you doing? Yeah,

37:03

I don't know. So

37:05

they get to the top. It's a teeny tiny

37:07

platform. It's a teeny tiny platform. And

37:09

like Becky has made it to the top and

37:11

it's like this incredible moment for her because she's

37:13

overcome her fears of her husband dying and she's

37:15

choosing life over fear, but her friend also has

37:18

to pull her up with her hand. I don't

37:20

know, Hunter just climbed it. And

37:26

this is where like up until this point I'm freaking out

37:28

because of my fear of heights. But

37:30

then they get up there and they're just like do do do

37:32

do do do do do on a four foot platform.

37:35

And I'm like, this isn't scary anymore

37:37

because these dipshit should just fall. Like I

37:39

don't care if they fall. Yeah, I mean

37:41

they have it coming. I mean the movie is called

37:43

Fall. We signed up for this.

37:45

I thought it was taking place in the autumn. It's

37:48

a beautiful like

37:51

New Hampshire day in

37:53

October and the leaves have changed

37:55

and it's absolutely gorgeous. You ever been to New

37:57

England for the leaves? Oh,

38:00

you talking to me? I'm talking to my friend from Delaware. Of

38:02

course I fucking have. Have I

38:05

been to a great

38:07

pumpkin thing in Tarrytown,

38:09

New York, aka Sleepy Hollow? Oh,

38:11

nice. In, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:14

I went to a wedding in

38:16

Rye Beach, New Hampshire in October

38:18

and everywhere I went, like the airport and

38:20

the rental car place, everybody was like, you

38:22

here for the lease? No.

38:25

It's more friends can marry. You want me

38:27

to rake? No, people don't. No, fuck you.

38:29

I'm from Appalachia. We have leaves too.

38:33

It's true. Our leaves are fine. They're fine.

38:35

Just as beautiful here. Just as beautiful, if

38:37

not less beautiful. It's

38:39

true. It

38:42

is gorgeous though. I mean, fine. It's

38:44

trees. They're

38:47

going to kill us one day

38:50

if that documentary starring Marcus, Marcus

38:52

Marlberg has taught us everything. Douchebag.

38:56

Old Becky would have done it. Done

38:59

what? Fuck you. So Hunter does

39:01

this thing where she hangs

39:03

off the side of the tower by

39:05

one hand. What the fuck, dude? To

39:07

get like a selfie and be like,

39:09

ah, what's that? First of all, I don't believe

39:11

Hunter can do a pull up either. Why?

39:14

Because she doesn't look any more buff than I do. That's

39:16

true. I can't do a pull up. And

39:23

then she makes Becky do the same thing.

39:25

Yeah. But rather than holding off the side,

39:28

Becky is just letting her friend hold her

39:31

off the side of this thing. No fucking way.

39:33

No way. No person in the world I trust

39:35

enough to hold my hand while I hang over a

39:37

2,000 foot drop. Leave

39:40

her alone or say you won't. And

39:47

then they sprinkle the ashes. They

39:49

do. And Hunter says to

39:51

Becky, Dan would be proud of you. Because he

39:53

was a fucking bozo. Can

39:56

I say something? Yeah. Becky

39:58

is sort of offended. That hunter

40:01

is crying about sprinkling the ashes.

40:03

Yeah, and it's like lady. She

40:05

was his friend, too Yeah, if you would sprinkle

40:08

missy's ashes, I would cry like a bitch What

40:11

the actual fuck is wrong with this woman? I don't

40:13

know. I don't know listen like I know I

40:16

have all these plans for my funeral which require me

40:19

to be embalmed. Yeah, sorry Vicki But

40:21

after that I want you to set my body

40:23

on fire. I don't want to be cremated I just want to be set

40:25

on fire for Viking funeral Viking funeral in the

40:28

lawn. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah Great, of course

40:30

great building the boat now. Yeah, I

40:32

mean I'll be dead soon Now

40:35

we're just like toss them into the fountain at the

40:37

point, which I think would be very funny for everyone.

40:39

Don't you? Along

40:41

with a bunch of like dawn so it gets bubbly

40:44

Ruined for everybody for like two weeks. Yeah,

40:47

it's my ashes and dish soap She

40:51

would have wanted it this way she doesn't know

40:53

if it's dawn or dawn Dawn Dawn

41:00

say the man's name dawn same fucking word

41:04

dawn Star

41:07

of Miami Vice Dawn

41:10

Johnson My

41:14

advice was before I was born

41:17

doesn't mean you can know about things

41:19

that existed I actually don't Okay,

41:25

all right, I have a degree in our history, but I

41:27

don't know who John Johnson is Like

41:30

dawn John John John and K. Who did you

41:32

all since father? Johnson

41:35

is I'm sorry Hard

41:38

for me The

41:47

charisma of a shoe So

41:55

Becky's like well enough of this shit

41:57

I'm coming back down and then what happens

41:59

then that The whole fucking ladder breaks and everything

42:01

is fucked. The whole ladder falls

42:03

off. It's like one screw goes and the rest of

42:05

them go, thank God.

42:08

We've been hanging on way too long. I

42:10

do love her like slumacking into the tower on her

42:12

rope though, I think that's a nice touch. Hunter

42:17

pulls her back up and says, I wish we'd filmed

42:19

that. I

42:22

would have punched somebody off of

42:24

the tower. I would have killed

42:26

Hunter so I could drink her blood to

42:28

keep myself alive. Oh,

42:32

but it takes them like a half an

42:34

hour to realize the ladder is gone. I

42:37

mean, every choice they make

42:40

seems inexplicable. Yeah. She's

42:42

like, well, someone must have heard it. Yeah.

42:45

No, you're in the middle of a desert. Oopsed,

42:48

would have heard that. Would have heard

42:50

it. They

42:52

have a drone. They

42:55

have cell phones, right? Yeah, but

42:57

they're not getting a reception because they're too

43:00

high up. Yeah, but why not just strap your cell

43:02

phone to your drone and then

43:04

fly it down to the ground? What?

43:07

What do you say? What am I saying? What do you say

43:09

to me? What am I saying? They do an egg drop experiment

43:11

where they put a phone in a

43:13

shoe with a pushup bra to try

43:16

to get reception. You have a flying

43:18

machine. The world is full of wonders.

43:20

You have them. I

43:23

was just like, I should think about the

43:25

egg drop and I was like, why am

43:27

I bringing soup up right now? Oh, you

43:29

like an eye. Drop soup is disgusting. It's

43:31

delicious. Really? Yeah. There are like three foods

43:33

in this world I won't eat. One of them is egg drop

43:35

soup. Why? It's disgusting.

43:37

It's so gloopy. You never just throw

43:39

like an egg into a ramen and stir it around. Blah,

43:42

blah, blah, blah. It's so gloopy. Oh

43:45

man. Gloopy. I like a gloopy egg. I

43:49

ain't scared. Not

43:52

scared of eggs, but scared of fights. Oh

43:55

yeah, terrified. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

43:57

Ask me why I got fired from a job as

43:59

a- house painter. You were

44:01

a house painter? For a week. I hired

44:04

you as a house painter. I cannot even

44:06

imagine this. I'm convinced they were

44:08

meth heads. Like it was just it was a

44:10

strange situation all around. I mean that's a methy

44:12

job. Yeah. That's a job

44:14

you can do on meth. Sure.

44:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean of

44:18

jobs you can do on meth,

44:20

that is one of them. Yeah,

44:23

be president. What? So,

44:25

so they've lost their water

44:27

because Becky dropped the bag when she

44:29

fell. Yeah. Which makes sense. And

44:32

Hunter assured them multiple 911 calls have

44:35

gone out. Yeah, multiple 911 calls. Multiple

44:37

911 calls. And Becky's leg is cut. Yeah,

44:39

she hadn't noticed. Yeah.

44:42

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And

44:45

then we see Becky peeing off the tower. Love to

44:47

pee outside. We talk about this all the time. Sure.

44:49

I love to pee outside. I feel like peeing off

44:51

the tower would be very rewarding. Oh my

44:53

god, yes. Think of the velocity your piss

44:55

is getting in before it hits the ground. Exactly.

44:57

Yeah. And also like

44:59

I was she's like I have to pee and I was

45:01

like just piss yourself. Who cares?

45:04

Piss anywhere you want. Who cares? Yeah.

45:13

Who put that there? So

45:17

they started having this

45:19

like super antagonistic video

45:21

conversation. Yes, because Hunter

45:23

is doing a persona for

45:25

her internet personality where

45:27

she is Danger D and it's all

45:29

about like hanging out. I don't know.

45:31

I don't know how to be an

45:33

internet personality despite being one. He's

45:36

the Danger D for 2Ds.

45:38

Double D? Because she

45:40

got big tits. Yeah. Yeah.

45:44

Her name doesn't start with a D. No, no. Hunter

45:46

does not start with a D. I think we heard later that

45:48

her first name is Shiloh. No,

45:51

none of them start with C. No

45:53

and her last name. Yeah, Shiloh Hunter

45:55

is her full name. Wow. You can't

45:57

just do that. Well, what if you want to do that? to

46:00

be double D because you got them double

46:02

D's. I mean fine, okay. Yeah.

46:05

You know like Jessica Simpson's dad said. What?

46:10

I love the little bit I know about pop culture.

46:12

No, I love this for you because this had to have been like

46:14

2005. I just wrote, there

46:16

was some interview with Jessica Simpson's dad

46:18

and he's like, yeah man, she's real

46:20

popular. How could she not be with

46:22

them double D's? Oh dude. And she's

46:25

like, doc, you're looking at your daughter's tits? Is

46:27

that what you're doing there, doc? I'm so glad my

46:29

father, my estranged father has never talked about my tits

46:31

as far as I know in public. So

46:35

they're going to do the egg drop. Make sure

46:37

they drop soup. Sure. And

46:39

they're going to do this instead of a Chuck Taylor. But they

46:41

need padding. What are they going to use for padding? I

46:43

mean Chuck Taylor's are notoriously flat.

46:45

Yes. And Slippy! What are

46:47

you doing wearing these? Who

46:50

knows? They're so slippy. So

46:53

what are they using for padding inside of the

46:55

shoe with the phone? Her push-up bra. Her

46:57

push-up bra. Which, that's a lot of padding. Sure. As

46:59

a, I'm sure you've never worn a push-up bra in

47:01

your life. I felt them. Hey.

47:04

Hey guys, Alan's fucked. I've been with women. Alan has fucked.

47:06

I've been multiple very long term relationships. I don't know what

47:08

you mean by that. I have washed many bras in my

47:10

life. You've washed bras? Yeah, I do laundry. Will you wash

47:12

my bras? If I bring them over, I'll be fine. I'm

47:15

not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

47:17

I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do

47:19

that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to

47:21

do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm

47:23

not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not

47:26

going to do that. I'm not going to do that. Yeah, I

47:28

do laundry. Will you wash my bras? I guess I bring

47:30

them over. I don't like doing it. You can do it in

47:32

the pub and it's just... I'm just kidding. No, you can't just

47:34

throw them in the goddamn washing machine because then they fall

47:36

apart. So

47:39

you're not going to wash my bras? You're not going to hand wash my

47:41

bras, is what you're saying? I think that's a... I think

47:43

that's a step too far in our relationship. Yeah, it's a direction

47:45

in our relationship that neither of us would have go in.

47:49

No, no, you're right. She's just got the dirtiest tits. I know it's

47:52

going to be good. My teeth are so filthy. So

47:54

we see that Hunter

47:56

has one, four, three tattooed on

47:58

her foot. Which

48:01

is a Mr. Rogers reference. What? Are

48:04

you still laughing at my dirty tits? Yes, I'm

48:06

still laughing at the fact that we're joking about

48:08

you have a dirty boob. No, they're disgusting. Fucking

48:12

filthy. No messages, please.

48:16

We get a flashback dream

48:18

where Becky is laying

48:20

in bed with Kubo

48:23

Gooding Jr. Jr. And he is, she

48:25

says, I love you. And he starts tapping

48:27

on her leg. She's like, aren't you going to say

48:29

it back? And he says, I am one, one,

48:32

two, three, four, one, two,

48:34

three. And she's like, I love you. And it's like, there's

48:36

a lot of other things that could be too. I hate

48:39

you. It would also fit. But Mr. Rogers

48:41

loves the number. Listen, listen

48:43

to me. Listen to me with your listening ears. Put

48:46

your thinking hat on. Put your listening ears

48:48

on. Mr. Rogers

48:51

loved that concept so much that he

48:53

kept his weight at 143 pounds. No.

48:57

He's tired like adult life. Yeah. That's

49:00

like sociopathy. I know. I can't hit

49:02

143 if I try. She's

49:06

fucking tall. Yeah. That's

49:08

weird. Yeah. So

49:11

they dropped the phone. It goes on.

49:14

It hits the ground. Sure. And

49:16

there's a gentleman down there with his dog. I love this dimwit

49:18

man. And he's having

49:20

a phone call and he's like, I don't

49:22

know, buy, sell, buy. He's like, I sent

49:24

you the check. And you're like, I don't care for this

49:26

man's story. This is not our

49:28

story. And his dog's like, oh shit, there's a phone.

49:30

Maybe I could use that to get away from this

49:33

man. I'm calling an animal

49:35

shelter with bright this moment. And

49:38

he doesn't see the shoe or the phone. Or

49:41

the other shoe or then the

49:43

other shoe because three shoes come

49:45

down. Yeah. Yeah. So

49:47

they have a flare that was in a box with binoculars on top

49:49

of the tower. Labeled emergency. Yeah.

49:53

There should have been an elevator in there. And

49:55

or 2000 feet of rope. I

49:59

have a question. Yes,

50:01

the top of the tower has a light

50:03

bulb on it. Yeah, that is flashing all the

50:05

time to prevent aircraft from hitting it Who

50:08

changes that light bulb? Didn't they

50:10

notice that ladder was in bad shape? Who's

50:13

like very who's climbing that

50:16

he's like it's living I can

50:18

answer that if a plane goes by and the light

50:20

bulbs out and they notice it they circle back change

50:22

the bulb and then Keep on who the pilot.

50:24

Oh, they just like hang from the plane. Yeah,

50:26

they open the window like a commercial air rolls in

50:28

the window They roll down

50:31

the window and like hi I'm Sully Sullenberger

50:33

and then change the bulb and then they

50:35

take back off do not take Sully Sullenberger's

50:37

name in your mouth What

50:39

are you a goose? So hard

50:41

you save those people Miracle

50:44

on the Hudson Tom Hanks. I don't know.

50:46

I know nothing. I'm the captain now. I'm

50:48

happy They They

50:55

have a flare that they're gonna shoot off with

50:57

one single flare Which also does not sound

50:59

right because like even in the school bus,

51:02

there's like 30 flares, you know, which

51:04

I know those are rude flares This is

51:06

different than shooting Look

51:10

all flares are flares everything

51:12

is flammable I

51:21

would never get myself into a situation where I

51:23

would need a flare I'd

51:28

buy a flare gun Shoot

51:31

flares. Anyway, your backyard. All

51:33

right, my neighbors Well,

51:36

they are that woman is very old actually next

51:38

door that woman is very old I was gonna

51:40

say they're dicks, but she seems really nice. She's

51:42

very nice. All of my neighbors are very sweet.

51:44

Yeah I

51:47

was joking. I'm not gonna shoot flares on my

51:49

neighbors. You're gonna my neighbors. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah.

51:51

She's a Brianna so They

51:58

wait till it's dark because there is a

52:01

real, messy looking camper van

52:03

down there. And

52:06

so they're gonna, and the people are

52:08

making pork ribs. They can tell what their production

52:10

is. Pork ribs, how do you know they're not

52:13

beef ribs? They know they're pork

52:15

ribs. No, they just say they're ribs. I

52:17

thought they're pork ribs. You're a vegetarian, see

52:19

out of this. This is for you.

52:22

Ribs and really cold beer. So

52:26

they shoot the fire, the flare. And

52:29

the guys see the flare. And what's their

52:31

reaction to seeing the flare? They'd get a crowbar

52:33

and they steal their fucking car, which is

52:35

the funniest reaction. So I-

52:37

They give her the finger. They give them

52:39

the finger. I stand by my messy guy thing

52:41

about their van, about

52:43

their camper van. Cause their

52:46

reaction to the situation is to steal their

52:48

car. So good. It's

52:51

a nice car. Oh my

52:53

God, it's so funny. So yeah, then

52:56

there's Becky

52:58

watching old videos from her wedding and

53:01

zooming in on her best friend's face.

53:03

Who just looks sad. She's so

53:05

sad. I used to get railed by that

53:07

guy. That guy railed me for four months. Four

53:10

months of railing. It was a huge

53:12

mistake. So

53:14

they have the aforementioned tattoo discussion.

53:16

One, four, three. Imagine getting

53:18

a tattoo with someone you're

53:20

having an affair with. What kind

53:22

of fucking idiot are you? As

53:25

I was describing this to Missy and

53:27

describing the one four, three, three tattoo, I

53:30

said, my reaction would have been like, no, it used to

53:32

say 1488, but I'm not a Nazi

53:35

anymore. So I'm going to get lasered off. Cause I'd

53:37

rather tell my best friend that than I was fucking

53:39

their husband. I would believe that Hunter's a Nazi

53:41

actually. She's

53:44

really pretty. She was on J6. So

53:49

it's so Becky confronts her. Yeah.

53:53

And Hunter's like, yeah, four months. It was a

53:56

huge mistake. I was fucking your husband, but I

53:58

loved you more than I loved him. Which

54:02

is very sweet. Also, like, blame

54:04

Dan. Don't blame your friend. No,

54:06

you, I don't, oh, you're not aware of this. Oh. In

54:09

all of these situations, the man is never at

54:11

fault. It's always the woman. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. So

54:14

you always have to blame the woman. Okay. I

54:16

mean, we didn't truly, like, we are

54:18

at fault

54:22

for everything. In

54:24

horror movies, at least. The aforementioned statements of

54:27

Katie. I'm not going to represent the

54:29

actual opinions of Katie. I'm just saying, you watch a horror movie,

54:31

everything's always a woman's fault. It's true. It's

54:33

always a mom's fault. It's always a cheating woman's

54:35

fault. For sure. That's it. That's the only

54:37

thing. And she's like, who initiated it?

54:40

Dan did. Mmm, I still hate you. Yeah,

54:43

but she really doesn't though. She never really gets angry

54:45

at Hunter. No. She's just

54:47

like, well, we're best friends and we're stuck up here, so, like, let's just

54:49

make it work. Yeah. And Hunter's like,

54:51

maybe I'll just die. And Becky's like, I

54:53

don't know, man. Maybe

54:56

you'll get lucky and I'll fall. She

54:58

had, she said nothing like that. She never

55:00

even ranged. No. So,

55:04

Becky's got an alarm that goes off that they've been

55:06

up here for 24 hours and no one's come to

55:08

get them. Yeah. And I

55:10

was like, Becky, you didn't have to set that alarm.

55:13

No, you could probably, you had nothing else going on. She

55:15

could have spread- She just moved at the clock. A

55:17

spreadsheet going to Becky. Yeah, Becky

55:19

sucked. Becky should have

55:21

died. So, Hunter's like, look, I think

55:23

I can make it down to the bag to get the

55:25

water. Sure. Because they look like

55:27

shit right now. They're, like, all dried out. I really

55:29

did like their makeup when they got sort of,

55:31

like, sun- Blotty. Spotted and mottled

55:33

and, like, dehydrated and their lips were all

55:36

cracked. I thought it looked great, actually. For

55:39

a shit ass movie. It was a really good decision,

55:41

too, that they're never green screen.

55:44

They're always on top of a tower. It's

55:47

just a tower that's on top of a mountain that's, like, less

55:49

than 100 feet tall. So

55:51

it looks like they're way high up in the air. Where

55:54

was this filmed? Oh, I don't know. Okay.

55:56

Yeah. But it was on a

55:58

tower that was- Yeah, yeah. whenever they shot

56:00

them, they had like a huge vista

56:03

in the background. Okay. So

56:05

I love how ethnically you said that.

56:09

Windows vista. How

56:12

you say this stuff. What

56:19

is wrong with you? What

56:22

is wrong with me? So

56:26

she's going to climb down, but they

56:28

have 50 feet of rope. And wouldn't

56:31

you know it, this bag is 51 feet away. Don't

56:34

worry. Cause she has a selfie stick.

56:37

Remember selfie sticks? Do people still use this? It

56:40

was like a selfie claw. Yeah. I bet they do.

56:42

Oh, for sure they do. Yeah. Selfie sticks. Yeah. Yeah.

56:44

Really? Yeah. I look at Google maps all the time

56:46

and people are always selfie stick it on there. Okay.

56:48

Okay. Okay. I was just looking at today because I

56:51

wanted to see like there's people

56:53

that like climb the Matterhorn and then like take selfies

56:55

at the top of it. And it's like, I wonder

56:57

if that'll give me the hippie jeebies and my tum

56:59

tum. Did it? Oh yeah. It totally freaks

57:01

me out. Like, especially like

57:03

a fucking selfie. Pay attention to

57:05

what you're doing. Watch your fucking feet. You

57:08

dipshit. She

57:10

detaches herself and jumps down to get

57:12

the bag and then she's like,

57:15

huh, water. It's our drinking water. Okay.

57:17

The two of them have brought one teeny

57:19

tiny little baby water bottle. That's less than

57:21

I bring to like play soccer on a

57:23

Wednesday night. You know, I take 40

57:25

ounces of water to work with me.

57:29

I literally played soccer last night for

57:31

90 minutes and I had two

57:33

water bottles. Yeah. I was thirsty. Then

57:39

she's like, all right, I think I

57:41

can for some reason use a

57:44

selfie stick to grab the rope, but I'm going to

57:46

have my bag weighing down the selfie stick, which seems

57:48

like a real bad idea. You know what the good

57:50

thing about backpacks is? Yeah. You can just put it

57:52

right on your back. And this, what

57:55

annoyed me about this is that it was a shoulder

57:57

bag. It wasn't a bag. It just was. one

58:00

strap going our way would you climb something without

58:02

two straps I didn't even notice yeah yeah

58:05

yeah these fucking professional

58:07

ass YouTube climbers were using

58:10

a one shoulder backpack I didn't

58:12

I miss that entirely so taking a

58:14

messenger bag up there with you what is

58:16

wrong with you so she

58:20

like attaches her backpack to the

58:22

rope and then she's going to

58:24

jump onto the backpack and

58:26

then Becky's gonna hoist

58:28

her up Becky is

58:30

very small sure all woman

58:32

yeah yeah so

58:35

they start doing this plan and it's working

58:37

it's working real good like gym

58:39

class horror shit of climbing a

58:42

rope yes oh my

58:45

god the only thing I was good at

58:47

was the s-sit and reach and the runs

58:49

sitting reach I'm super fucking flexible oh yeah

58:51

you do that's

58:54

it in reach I don't

58:56

remember it's

58:58

been a lot longer than I was in school

59:01

that's true ten years so

59:06

she's hoisting herself up and she's getting

59:08

hoisted on her own petard and she

59:10

falls obviously yeah yeah but then she's

59:12

able to jump back onto the bag

59:14

and get back up there and

59:16

hunter pulls her up and everything's okay

59:18

her hands are all busted up sure

59:21

well maybe I mean gym class rope

59:23

climbing and

59:26

so I think when I was young

59:28

we we girls got to climb a

59:30

rope with a knot in it so we could put our

59:32

feet on oh I did too all

59:35

right the girls and Alice fat kids

59:40

but I was also terrified of heights so I got like ten feet

59:42

up I was like I don't want to do this anymore no I

59:44

remember like climbing the rope with the knots in it and

59:46

touching the gym ceiling and then being like I'm all the

59:48

way fucking up here what am I gonna do I

59:51

can't get down there was one of those like fucking

59:54

90 year old deflated like

59:56

filled with asphalt Jim And

1:00:00

it was like, oh, just drop. No, no.

1:00:03

Did you all do the thing where you played with a

1:00:05

parachute in the And

1:00:07

the giant ball that like, the

1:00:10

earth ball. Yeah. We called it the

1:00:12

fat Albert more. It was the 90s.

1:00:15

I do remember like doing a thing where you

1:00:18

had to hang onto

1:00:22

a rope and like swing over

1:00:24

some gym mats that were a setup

1:00:27

and a peak. If you hit the

1:00:29

mats, you like failed the test. Oh

1:00:31

yeah. Terrible. Just fucking terrible. Yeah. I

1:00:34

told you about the one time that we went up for gym

1:00:37

class and we had to run around

1:00:39

the track. Just 400 meters? I

1:00:42

don't remember what it was. I went a couple

1:00:44

laps around the track. Was it the mile? Maybe.

1:00:47

Okay. So I walked up to the first turn, sat

1:00:50

down a little bit. And

1:00:54

it's usually cool. I

1:00:56

have to fail you. And I was like, yeah, I

1:00:58

know. Yeah. I'm doing this right now. And

1:01:00

I'll be getting attention. I understand this. I know how this

1:01:02

works. Oh man. I always went all out on

1:01:04

the mile. Man, I was, I

1:01:08

wanted to be a badass so much. I

1:01:10

mean, to sit down in the first, I

1:01:12

mean, like if you walked the first quarter,

1:01:14

you walked a hundred meters and

1:01:18

sat down to smoke a cigarette, that's pretty badass. Yeah.

1:01:21

Yeah. Yeah. A wee bit of

1:01:23

a badass. Wee bit. I mean, to be fair, 1970s. I

1:01:27

was like, I was six when the 70s ended.

1:01:34

HPD. Happy

1:01:37

birthday to you. So

1:01:40

this is another thing that the movie

1:01:43

does. It's this beautiful telegraphing. Hunter

1:01:46

is now always slightly in

1:01:48

shadow here, henceforth in this

1:01:50

movie. I didn't notice that, but I knew

1:01:52

she was dead. Yeah. Well,

1:01:54

for sure. I know she's dead, right?

1:01:56

She didn't make that jump. Nobody makes

1:01:58

that jump. Nobody makes that jump. Yeah,

1:02:00

yeah, so she's always in shadow and she's

1:02:02

always behind Becky. Okay. I did not notice

1:02:05

that but I also did not care So

1:02:10

they pull out the drone and they're like

1:02:12

let's let's write a note I

1:02:14

know to put it on the drone and fly

1:02:16

it down to the motel Why would you not

1:02:19

tie your I mean, I don't know much about

1:02:21

drones to be fair Could they

1:02:23

not hold the weight of a cell phone? I don't

1:02:25

know I think you're like trying to send a message

1:02:27

saying she's like I've 50,000 followers. Sure Why

1:02:31

would you not post the thing to call 911? Tie

1:02:34

your phone to the drone and fly the drone down

1:02:36

to the ground instead of throwing it down in

1:02:39

a high-top Chuck because

1:02:41

of egg drop challenge Remember

1:02:44

science class, right? I mean I guess

1:02:47

yeah. Yeah, I didn't take a lot of science

1:02:49

classes. I Have

1:02:52

an arts degree sure sure So

1:02:54

she They do this

1:02:57

thing. Oh They

1:02:59

have to charge the drone and My

1:03:02

god, Becky's gonna climb up onto the light

1:03:04

bulb fucking light

1:03:06

bulb and Dead

1:03:09

Hunter says we don't

1:03:11

know she said this huh? Yeah, how

1:03:13

is your leg and Becky says it stinks,

1:03:16

but it doesn't hurt and I

1:03:18

was like, oh, that's real bad

1:03:20

I mean Yeah That's

1:03:24

Do you know there's two sequels that are gonna be made

1:03:26

of this movie? No. Yeah, they're filming them maybe at the

1:03:28

same time Wait, how do you make two sequels at

1:03:31

the same time? Yeah,

1:03:33

they did the Lord of the Rings Really?

1:03:36

Yeah, they filmed all those movies at the same time I'm

1:03:39

Lord of the Rings movies. Wait the Lord

1:03:41

of the Rings Lord

1:03:44

of the great J. R. R.

1:03:46

Token. So token Okay.

1:03:49

Okay smoking weed smoking weed I

1:03:52

I don't know but like that had to have taken them like two

1:03:54

years to film all those movies, right? They're so

1:03:57

fucking long with 18 hours of them. Yes But

1:04:00

if her leg's stinkin', she's

1:04:02

gonna get gangrenous. She

1:04:04

gonna lose that leg. Yeah, but also it's not gonna happen

1:04:06

in 24 hours. Yeah,

1:04:10

I don't know. If you're getting Sunday. No, I'm telling you no.

1:04:13

You got a medical degree all of a sudden?

1:04:15

Oh yeah, I got science degrees. Up the butt.

1:04:18

Art science. No,

1:04:20

I think you can have a cut for 24 hours without

1:04:23

getting gangrene. Maybe. I

1:04:25

don't know, this movie says no. All right, fine. She's

1:04:29

not gangrenous, she's just stanky. Stanky

1:04:31

leg. She's got a stanky leg. Remember

1:04:34

stanky leg? I love stanky leg. Makes

1:04:37

me wanna do the Ed Lover dance. Stanky

1:04:39

leg. I'm kind of doing it,

1:04:42

but I'm also sitting down, so.

1:04:44

Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So,

1:04:47

she's gonna climb up there, and

1:04:49

she can't do it. She can't do it. So

1:04:51

what does Becky do to inspire her? I

1:04:54

don't actually know. She sings cherry pie by Warren.

1:04:57

No, what Hunter does to inspire Becky. Oh, well,

1:04:59

Hunter does inspire Becky. Because Becky loves the song

1:05:01

cherry pie. Who doesn't? As a woman who was

1:05:03

born in probably the 2000s? Yeah.

1:05:06

Who loves this weird pedophile rock

1:05:09

song from the 1980s? She

1:05:11

loves Christine 16 by Kiss. Oh

1:05:13

no. She loves She's Only 17

1:05:15

by Winger. Winger. A little bit

1:05:17

of Winger. She loves that, yeah,

1:05:20

she loves all those songs from the 70s, because

1:05:22

there's a million of them. Gross.

1:05:26

And also, Hunter keeps fucking up the words, which

1:05:28

I liked a lot, and the melody. She's

1:05:31

like, look, this is your thing, I'm just doing my best

1:05:33

here. She loves this shit singing voice, which

1:05:36

I appreciate. Yeah. Imagine

1:05:38

that being the thing that motivates you to save

1:05:40

your own fucking life, though. Like,

1:05:43

what could you sing to me to motivate

1:05:45

me to save my own fucking life? Kickstart

1:05:47

My Heart by Molly Crue. I know, it's true.

1:05:50

You would just do that like the beginning. Bong.

1:05:52

Bong. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,

1:05:54

bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Skydive

1:05:56

naked from a narrow plane. Moo,

1:05:58

moo, moo. How

1:06:01

many times can hear them

1:06:03

say oh yeah, space. Museum:

1:06:07

thirty three assists

1:06:10

So katie. Still,

1:06:13

Makes a surrogate. Was she going to use

1:06:15

the Makes a circus presenting. Wedding Ring

1:06:17

is a lexical words. Know

1:06:20

is good, even conductive is

1:06:22

I think some of his

1:06:25

assistant is. A metal

1:06:27

metal. But

1:06:30

also was. No, I feel like

1:06:32

you can't just plug things into things. And

1:06:34

hope it works for a. As

1:06:37

I can, you don't have that

1:06:39

adrenalin junky Noel Do. Added Security

1:06:42

Say or I'm a piece A sense.

1:06:44

And I'm so lazy. Has your mouth

1:06:46

Now I'm very lazy. When

1:06:50

it comes to climbing and short answer

1:06:52

year. Tv. Yeah.

1:06:55

What is she has to do after she

1:06:57

plugs in the drum and oh no wait,

1:06:59

wait. Around for our what

1:07:01

is she doing? She is literally

1:07:03

like. Got her. Oh the

1:07:05

results. Using a cherry pie is because this

1:07:08

is like it's like poll day and saying.

1:07:11

We saw earlier of her polls say

1:07:13

a cherry pie and she's I thought

1:07:15

I was a rap. As

1:07:18

a rap. A

1:07:21

server space normally pole dance and

1:07:23

know it, clap and seeks no

1:07:25

such. Thing as listen, you're not going

1:07:27

up and down to think that. Also, that's

1:07:29

what insists lie down and co matter believe.

1:07:32

Her since she was able to climb

1:07:34

as he had to hold the drone

1:07:36

in place. Ah yes, you can. I'm

1:07:38

just one whatever mangled angle. What

1:07:41

as is that a whole the drain the

1:07:43

drone up with or stank leg and she's

1:07:45

doing with their legs wrapped around the

1:07:47

pole and then with her hands like holding

1:07:49

herself openness your arms would give out. Yes.

1:07:52

Yes my literary such vultures

1:07:54

attacking her would be absolutely

1:07:56

do not. as the bulls are

1:07:59

sunset What are you gonna do when a vulture

1:08:01

attacks you? Nothing, because they don't. They

1:08:03

do not attack people. What, carrion

1:08:05

birds? Never, never, ever. What

1:08:07

if you got stanky legs though? They're not gonna attack

1:08:09

you. Vultures are smart enough to know if

1:08:12

you're living or dead. They wait.

1:08:14

They wait. That's what they do. Literally

1:08:17

a bird known for waiting. If

1:08:19

you are hanging onto a

1:08:21

pole with a plug in your hand, a vulture's

1:08:23

not coming for you. They're like, that bitch is

1:08:25

charging right now. They'll circle and go, I'm

1:08:27

here, I'll wait. I'll wait. I've

1:08:30

got all day. There's an updraft, I'm good.

1:08:32

I'm fine. So

1:08:35

they are attacking her. Yeah. But

1:08:38

she charges the drone and she comes back down.

1:08:40

They start talking about WWE, which

1:08:44

blew my fucking mind. Who's

1:08:46

her favorite wrestler? So-called Steve Austin. Yeah, yeah,

1:08:48

and The Rock. And The Rock. And

1:08:51

what was, she says, what was Katja's Jack's

1:08:53

name when he wore the mask? And her

1:08:55

friend goes, mankind? And I was like,

1:08:57

what are you people? What

1:08:59

are you? I thought you didn't

1:09:01

watch wrestling. I didn't. She's

1:09:04

dead. She's dead. She's dead.

1:09:06

But also, I hope

1:09:08

when I'm dead I know a lot of wrestling trivia. I

1:09:10

don't know. And also I feel like you

1:09:13

would be like, what was mankind's name when

1:09:15

he didn't wear the mask? Katja's Jack, yeah.

1:09:17

You know mankind. You don't know Katja's Jack.

1:09:21

Or, who was the love?

1:09:23

He was something buddy loved? Dude love. Dude

1:09:26

love, dude love. Yeah. My

1:09:28

cousin Joe saw him in Eaton Park. Said he had the biggest

1:09:30

ass he'd ever seen on a human. I

1:09:34

love that you've told that story so many times.

1:09:36

We're in episode 480. Look,

1:09:39

they haven't all heard it. I

1:09:41

told you about the time that I saw Questlove

1:09:43

at the Apple store and thought the same thing

1:09:45

about him. He had a huge ass. Yeah, yeah.

1:09:48

Oh, damn. Big dumper on that Questlove. Big old

1:09:50

dumper. I

1:09:52

mean, it was a Porsche, but it was a big booty. Big

1:09:55

booty. May I get This

1:10:00

is the drone's charge. She's gonna send the note.

1:10:03

Why doesn't she send her fucking cell phone to

1:10:05

send a message? They're like, yeah, you can't

1:10:07

text 911. And I was like, oh, in

1:10:09

most places you can. In most

1:10:11

places you can text 911. But

1:10:13

even if you can't, send a text

1:10:16

to anybody and tie your fucking cell

1:10:18

phone to the drone. Even if it

1:10:20

falls, it'll fall slowly. Right? Well,

1:10:22

I don't know how drones work. I don't know how drones work.

1:10:24

I've never touched a drone in my whole life. Have

1:10:27

you? No. We're not drone kind

1:10:29

of people. We're not drone people. I

1:10:32

yelled at a man at Panther Hollow Lake because he

1:10:34

was flying a drone around and scaring the ducks. And

1:10:36

I was like, they fucking live here! They

1:10:41

were scared. They were fucking terrified. Of course

1:10:43

they were. There's a

1:10:45

new bird in town. They don't recognize

1:10:47

it. That's their home. So

1:10:52

they send the drone down. What happens

1:10:55

to the drone? It gets hit by a truck. Of course

1:10:57

it does. It's okay. And

1:11:00

then Hunter's

1:11:02

finally like, hey. I've

1:11:07

been dead for a while now. Yeah, so

1:11:09

Becky says to her, let's try throwing

1:11:12

my phone down. We'll use your shoe

1:11:14

and we'll pad it better. And

1:11:16

she's like, my shoe's down there. And

1:11:19

she's like, no, it's on your foot. And she's

1:11:21

like, no, it's down there. I have

1:11:23

been dead for days. And you're like,

1:11:26

why? Why? Why

1:11:28

are you saying this to me? Why are

1:11:31

you saying this to me? A

1:11:33

person watching this movie? Well,

1:11:36

earlier Becky had had a nightmare

1:11:38

that Hunter was being eaten by Vultures. And

1:11:41

because she was being eaten by Vultures, IRL. Fine. But

1:11:46

yes, she's like, you've just been wanting me

1:11:49

to be alive and in your dream state.

1:11:51

I've been alive, but I fell and bled

1:11:53

out. And look, there's Vultures eating me. She

1:11:55

says you can't have the shoe because I

1:11:58

didn't catch the bag. Yeah.

1:12:01

What? How is this your

1:12:03

reveal? How is this your reveal? It's

1:12:07

cute. Is it? She

1:12:12

says, you didn't think your scrawny ass could pull me up

1:12:14

and I thought, well, I didn't either.

1:12:17

It has been four days.

1:12:20

Yeah. No one has

1:12:22

come looking for them. No.

1:12:25

Mm-mm. But there's a plan afoot.

1:12:29

Becky is sitting up there and it looks like she's dead.

1:12:31

Looks like she ain't living no more. Yeah. So

1:12:34

the vulture's like, fine, I'm going to eat that stank ass leg. I

1:12:36

mean, eat your stank ass leg. Yeah. So

1:12:38

the vulture goes up and starts chomping on her

1:12:40

leg and then she opens her eyes and beats

1:12:43

that bird to death. I actually

1:12:45

really liked this. I thought this was like, I thought

1:12:47

this was the best scene of the film of her

1:12:49

just like grabbing a bird,

1:12:51

breaking its neck, smashing it into

1:12:53

a metal railing.

1:12:56

Yeah. And then

1:12:58

eating it raw. I was like, all right,

1:13:00

movie, this is the thing you've done. I

1:13:02

like it.

1:13:04

Uh, Ted had Dan on her Discord

1:13:06

says, No. Hoping to

1:13:09

hear Katie talk about beating up a

1:13:11

bird on Monday. Hey, Dan. Hey, Dan.

1:13:13

I'm talking about right now. Today,

1:13:18

Alan texted me a picture of a grateful dead

1:13:20

sticker on a car and he was like, this

1:13:22

is the only acceptable use of it. And I

1:13:25

was like, listen, I really don't get this. I

1:13:27

don't know what you're saying. And

1:13:29

I said, think of

1:13:31

boys as summer. It was a picture of a, it

1:13:34

was a, it was a dead hit sticker on a Cadillac. Yeah, I

1:13:36

was. It was a dead hit sticker on a Cadillac. I was so

1:13:38

fucking mad. I was so mad. I

1:13:43

said to miss you. She's like, I don't understand this. What

1:13:45

are you talking about? You were the only person in

1:13:47

America to get this. I

1:13:50

saw it with dead hands to go on

1:13:52

a car. And Then I went, I wish

1:13:54

there was a black flag sticker also on

1:13:57

that Cadillac from the Atari version of it.

1:14:00

If you're gonna go for the joke

1:14:03

like do both ends of it, also

1:14:05

use it. Also, totally ignore the Atari

1:14:07

is forever Sure sure. and. Less of an

1:14:09

when I was like. Two. Pieces system

1:14:11

ensures as a senior old

1:14:13

girl. Who's

1:14:16

your phone? Where

1:14:18

were you? Ten years older than me? So

1:14:22

yes, Sir.

1:14:24

So we hear this

1:14:27

flashbacks for. Hunter telling

1:14:29

Becky you need to eat something you need

1:14:31

eats and they. spat.

1:14:37

Oh. It's a dream. Plus Mcnabb. Hey all

1:14:39

right. Successes

1:14:42

featured Treats Less. Physicists:

1:14:47

So becky like. Fine, I'll

1:14:49

climb down now but apart but

1:14:51

a by the music is like

1:14:53

fuckin Nfl. Sit with them up

1:14:55

with a move for this or

1:14:58

that. Assist Assist assist assist In

1:15:00

so asinine we triumphant. I

1:15:02

mean that the music and this. there's not a

1:15:04

lot, there's very little score and this, but when

1:15:06

it kicks and you're like oh, Oh

1:15:10

and she had made a video message for

1:15:12

Dad telling her that still hot dog. Died.

1:15:15

You are right. My husband was. Up for acts.

1:15:18

As it's hook this near and

1:15:20

or dancing specific computer fearful of

1:15:23

his you are correct A. Signal.

1:15:26

As which I don't think he was he says could have a

1:15:28

dick your desk at of a dick I'm in your desk visiting.

1:15:30

You married is it was kind is hop and when you're

1:15:32

does the day. It's true. Yes.

1:15:34

So. See own show for

1:15:37

a the Robert. She does is.

1:15:39

I really did like them. Sort. Surfer

1:15:41

for a be reminded me of, like, all the

1:15:43

books, but shipwrecks with a red when they're like

1:15:45

icon Siegel, or is that seats for? Love

1:15:47

of books about separate cel has. To

1:15:50

run a bunch of them. This

1:15:52

strange man. I

1:15:54

love you so was I was upset at

1:15:56

us. Who knew a lot of shit about

1:15:58

a lot of weird sit. You really do.

1:16:00

I feel like sometimes I'm like, I don't know

1:16:02

anything about this, and you're like, let me tell you

1:16:04

about six books I read, and here's how they all

1:16:07

came together. So

1:16:09

she drops down next to Hunter

1:16:12

on this admittedly

1:16:14

barely hanging on to the side of

1:16:16

Tower satellite dish? What is that satellite

1:16:18

dish for? For reception. Okay.

1:16:22

So they can watch NFL films, but... She

1:16:27

drops down next to her and a vulture starts

1:16:29

attacking and I was like, yes, that vulture knows

1:16:32

you ate his friend. But then the

1:16:34

vulture kind of has like a respect,

1:16:36

game-recognized, game moment with her. It

1:16:39

smells her breath and it's like, is

1:16:41

that raw vulture on your... I'm out of here. Sorry.

1:16:44

Is that Jim? Did you eat

1:16:46

Jim? Jim was my cousin! So,

1:16:51

so, so she's going to drop

1:16:53

another shoe down. So she gets

1:16:55

the shoe off. She's like, I need

1:16:58

to pad this really well. I'm so

1:17:00

sorry. So what

1:17:02

does she do with the shoe, Katie? She shoves it into her

1:17:04

friend's tum-tum. She shoves it right into her

1:17:06

friend's tum-tum and then shoves her off the

1:17:08

dish and it works. Cut

1:17:11

to Harry. Harry, Dad, Morgan. What's

1:17:14

his name? Steve

1:17:17

Boston. Bobblehead. I can't, Alan. Your

1:17:21

dad sucks. And he's

1:17:23

driving to the car... I'm not

1:17:25

getting into a man's car. And

1:17:28

he has a stone called Steve Boston bobblehead. I think

1:17:30

you get right the fuck back out. I'm

1:17:33

sorry. The seat isn't going

1:17:35

to work. Or hear

1:17:38

me out. Maybe it is.

1:17:42

He sees a body bag and he's like, oh no! My

1:17:45

baby girl. So dad

1:17:48

died. God. Not

1:17:50

my daughter, someone else's daughter. Get

1:17:53

this girl to a hospital so she doesn't lose that

1:17:55

fucking leg. That leg has been gangrenous

1:17:57

for three days, according to this movie.

1:18:00

Oh, my snack leg. I gotta get it. Let's

1:18:03

put a little bit of that athletic spray on it.

1:18:05

It should be fine. Just some stuff I eat spray

1:18:07

and soccer, like my leg hurts spray. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:18:10

Psh, psh, psh, psh. I

1:18:13

think it's the same stuff they spray when they need to

1:18:15

mark where the free kick's supposed to be. Oh, it's the

1:18:17

exact same thing. It's all spray paint. Katie.

1:18:21

So at this point I just got the Turbo Niger song, All

1:18:23

My Friends Are Dead, stuck in my head. Got

1:18:26

kicked in the head. All my friends

1:18:28

are dead. I love Turbo Negro.

1:18:31

Me too. Apocalypse Dudes. Yeah.

1:18:33

Oh, my God. So great.

1:18:36

Yeah, amazing. So much better than this movie. Katie.

1:18:38

If Turbo Negro is a 10, this is a

1:18:40

4. Oh,

1:18:43

I'm gonna have to give this a 6. Why?

1:18:45

Because it made me really tense with all the height

1:18:47

stuff. I'm happy for you. Like,

1:18:49

I haven't felt like that uncomfortable in a movie

1:18:51

in a long time. So there

1:18:54

we go. Great. Fall. I picked it. I

1:18:56

hated it. I hated every moment of it. I

1:18:58

kind of liked it. Great. Wouldn't watch it

1:19:00

again, but kind of liked it. It's

1:19:02

terrible, though. Sure, who

1:19:05

isn't these days? Yeah,

1:19:07

fair. All right. Katie. Ellen.

1:19:10

Can I give a shout out to a

1:19:12

friend of the podcast, Josh? I

1:19:14

love Josh. And can we all just

1:19:16

go back and listen to Josh's episode about Neon

1:19:18

Maniacs, because that movie brought me so much fucking

1:19:21

joy in my life. That movie is

1:19:23

one of the greatest finds we've had on this podcast. Truly, it's

1:19:25

a diamond in the rough. Josh

1:19:29

has recently had a story released

1:19:31

on a podcast called Creepy. Yeah?

1:19:34

So if you search Creepy Podcast, it

1:19:37

has a story called Fitzy's Coming. He's a

1:19:39

great writer. So go check it out. Listen

1:19:41

to this. This is

1:19:43

his first podcast adaptation of his writing. Oh,

1:19:46

my God. Very exciting.

1:19:48

I'm very stoked and proud of him. Me too. And

1:19:52

I want people to support him. Yeah, he's

1:19:54

so good. Yeah, he's so good. Josh is

1:19:56

great. He's like a nice person. Sweetie. Sweetie

1:19:58

baby. We got a mystery. on

1:20:00

Instagram that I found that I wanted to read

1:20:02

to you. Wait, you look at our Instagram? Occasionally.

1:20:05

Okay. I deleted it from my phone

1:20:07

because I just couldn't handle it anymore. It's too much.

1:20:09

Also, you look at so many tits on it that all

1:20:11

of the things were just tits, and I just kind

1:20:13

of look at one tits, and then they're like, all

1:20:15

you want to do is tits. So many tits. I'm

1:20:20

a growing boy. You're

1:20:23

a grower, not a shower. Don't

1:20:25

ever say that again. I won't. Just

1:20:28

listen to the Bodies, Bodies, Bodies episode, and

1:20:30

I could never pick a favorite between the two of you. You

1:20:32

both are so funny and wonderful. Why would

1:20:35

you want to pick a favorite? We're a team.

1:20:37

We're not pitting against each other. We

1:20:39

literally asked her which one was her favorite. Oh, did we? Great

1:20:42

job, idiot. And

1:20:44

my whole day is always better when I

1:20:46

hear an episode of Wear of Amulans. You're

1:20:48

both the best. Yes, Alan, you are also

1:20:50

the best. Please take a compliment from Brenna.

1:20:53

Hi, Brenna. Thank you so much. Yeah.

1:20:56

But no, I don't think you should pick a favorite.

1:20:58

I don't know why we said that. That

1:21:01

was seven days ago. I have no memory of it.

1:21:03

It's just some literal nonsense we said. Great. Katie.

1:21:06

Alan. We're now in 20 Minutes Into This.

1:21:08

Are you serious? Are you fucking kidding me? This movie is shit.

1:21:11

With many digressions. Yeah. What

1:21:14

movie are we gonna do next week? Next week we

1:21:16

have a very special guest. Yeah. Which

1:21:18

is my friend, Pi. Yeah. She was an

1:21:20

Australian maniac and I love her so much. And she

1:21:22

wanted to do an Australian horror film. So

1:21:25

we are going to do the film from

1:21:27

2014 called Wormwood. W-Y-R-M.

1:21:30

If you're looking it up, it's W-Y-R-M.

1:21:32

Yeah. And it's a zombie Australian

1:21:35

movie and you guys are gonna love Pi because

1:21:37

she is a fucking maniac. Yeah, can't wait. I've

1:21:40

only met her briefly. I'm excited to get to know her better.

1:21:42

I am too. My worlds need

1:21:44

to collide here better. Yeah.

1:21:47

Hopefully we get along and don't become mortal

1:21:49

enemies. She could take you in a fight.

1:21:51

Oh yeah, 100%. She's Australian. She's Australian.

1:21:54

She's got that bush instinct.

1:22:00

Click in the, you're next. So

1:22:04

go find us on the internet.

1:22:06

Uh, uh, we're all famous@gmail.com. If

1:22:08

you want to be a Patron, you can it's a

1:22:11

patreon.com backslash. We're all of ambulance. Uh,

1:22:14

hashtag blessed. We've gotten

1:22:16

so many new Patrons that I'm having a problem keeping

1:22:18

up with everything. So I will be getting in

1:22:20

touch. So many. Get on it,

1:22:22

Alan. They're paying. Yeah. I know. I don't,

1:22:24

I don't, I'm only so much free time.

1:22:28

Um, so I will get, get in touch with you all soon. Uh,

1:22:31

thank you so much for joining the Patreon. What

1:22:33

is our Patreon theme this month? Uh,

1:22:35

I don't know. We have to pick one. Well, this

1:22:38

week I was cleaning up my house and I

1:22:40

found Kaysin's list of her favorite action movies of

1:22:42

all time. So I'm gonna, uh, I'll bring that

1:22:44

over and we can put up for, we'll do

1:22:46

Kaysin month. I love that. Yeah.

1:22:49

If you want to take a picture and send it to me or

1:22:51

whatever. I'll do it tonight. Um, so

1:22:53

yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll be picking a new action

1:22:56

movie. We recently did national treasure. It

1:22:58

was fucking ridiculous. And fantastic. What a

1:23:00

shit ass movie. What a great film. Alan

1:23:02

Lofton. American. And I think, I think that

1:23:04

movie might be why I'm reading 1776 right

1:23:07

now. I

1:23:11

can't wait till you storm the Capitol. Tell me something else.

1:23:14

We're starting using tyranny

1:23:16

casually in American conversation.

1:23:22

Uh, go to T public. Thanks everyone who's bought stuff from there.

1:23:24

Um, and thank

1:23:26

you all for being amazing. You guys are wonderful. Thank

1:23:28

you so much. Come back for wormwood. I'm sorry we

1:23:30

did this shit ass movie for an hour and a

1:23:32

half. I'm not. Yeah. I had a great time. I'm

1:23:34

going to get an Uber. I'm drunk as hell. Don't love this.

1:23:38

Uh, think about it. These people. Bye. Thanks for listening

1:23:40

to another episode of werewolf. And you tell me to

1:23:42

say bye before you say that you're going to six,

1:23:45

six, uh, the werewolf ambulance. Oh, that's your line. Oh,

1:23:47

thanks so much for listening to another episode of

1:23:49

werewolf ambulance. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. My

1:23:52

wife, my wife. you