0:09

Hey Alan. Hey Katie. Say

0:12

it's alright. It's

0:14

alright. Say it's alright. It's

0:17

alright? It's alright. Have

0:19

a good time. Cause it's alright.

0:22

I don't know what's happening. It's a

0:24

Curtis Mayfield song that is in this

0:26

movie three times. Say it's one fucking song.

0:28

It's three times. Hello Katie. What is

0:30

this? Would you like a balloon? Sure.

0:33

I'm a clown from New York. Wait.

0:35

Do they float? They do float. They

0:37

do float? Them balloons do float Katie. Wait. Why

0:40

are you from New York? I don't know. Why is Tim

0:42

Curry from New York? When he's talking to Georgie. Oh yeah.

0:45

Well. This is werewolf ambulance.

0:47

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh

0:50

yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh

0:52

yeah. Oh yeah. Oh

0:55

yeah. Oh yeah. We're in werewolf

0:57

ambulance. I'm Alan. I'm

0:59

Katie. I'm Pennywise. You

1:01

are no Tim Curry sir. Don't

1:04

I know it. None of us are. Every goddamn

1:06

day of my life I know that. You look in

1:08

that mirror and you're like not Tim Curry.

1:10

He's a god among men. Oh no

1:12

no doubt. No doubt. He is the saving grace of

1:14

this movie. What movie

1:17

were you talking about? Clue. Legend

1:20

starring Tom Cruise. I still haven't seen that.

1:23

If I still haven't seen that, I mean never gonna see that. We're

1:26

talking about Stephen King's It, the

1:28

1992 night event miniseries directed

1:31

by my friend and yours Tommy Lee

1:33

Wallace. Yeah. Halloween three

1:35

fame. Like to. That's my dog. To

1:37

prep myself for this. I actually went

1:40

back and listened to our

1:42

Halloween three episode which felt a little

1:44

bit like masturbating in front of a mirror you know. Sometimes

1:48

you're gonna see what it looks like. Yeah. Just

1:50

sometimes I want to look at my own face. No.

1:53

And it was mainly to remind myself of all

1:55

the things that I found wrong with Halloween three

1:57

which are all the same things that are wrong.

2:00

with this movie, which is just that

2:02

like, there are so many details

2:04

that make no fucking sense.

2:07

No fucking like, may I, may I begin? Yeah.

2:10

What, right before we get started, I would

2:12

like to send a whale wish out to

2:14

our friend Mike Bolum. Hi, Mike. Mike had

2:16

some surgery and we just wish him his

2:18

speedy recovery. Sounds like he's going to be

2:20

all right. We're hoping for a pain free,

2:22

quick recovery. No pain. Get her done. Get

2:24

her done. All right. Let's get

2:26

into this thing. Okay. So here's what makes me

2:28

super mad about this movie amongst a lot of

2:30

things. But this is the Tommy Lee Wallace touch.

2:33

Three and a half days long. That

2:35

is the number one. It makes sense. It was a two night

2:37

event, whatever. Okay. Also, if you had asked

2:39

me how long this movie was before this

2:41

week, I would have told you like, I don't know,

2:43

two and a half hours. No, it's three hours and

2:45

16 minutes. And I watched it over four

2:47

days, some days

2:49

in multiple parts. Okay. But here's the

2:51

thing that really makes me mad. Go. I

2:54

mean, I'm not a kid. They're in school,

2:56

right? None of them seem to know each other

2:58

until they know each other. Like they're introducing themselves

3:00

to each other. You sit behind this person in

3:02

class. Then there's a scene where Eddie is like,

3:05

this is the best summer of my whole life.

3:07

I hope it never ends. And literally the next

3:09

scene is him in gym class. It's

3:11

like you weren't even trying. Do you know

3:13

what I mean? Like there's a part where they're talking,

3:16

the cop is telling them about a dead

3:18

girl, Velma Daniels. And Bev

3:20

goes, Velma Daniels, who is in my

3:22

class lady, these, all of them are in your

3:24

class. All of them are in your class. I saw

3:26

them in your class. The

3:29

kid Mike is like, so who are you

3:31

guys? They're the kids you literally gave a

3:33

presentation to an hour ago in the classroom.

3:35

It's just mind blowing to me. That's all.

3:39

Except for the new chubby kid. Doug

3:41

from the wonder years. Young John Ritter. Yeah.

3:44

God rest his soul. A lot

3:46

of deads in this movie. Well,

3:48

just two, I guess. John, John Ritter and John

3:50

the Brandis. Yeah. I didn't know about Jonathan Brandis.

3:52

That was said. Yeah. So sad, sad

3:54

ending. Yeah. They're both a sad ending.

3:57

Yeah. For sure. Death is generally ending

4:00

to one's life. This

4:05

is going to be a super long

4:07

episode to do this entire God's even.

4:10

I'm hoping that we're not going to talk about every plot point. I

4:12

have a lot of notes. I

4:15

have so many notes that I was reread today and I

4:17

was like, I have no fucking idea what that is. I

4:20

don't know what that is. No. Henry's

4:23

friend is like literally my age. He has the

4:25

same wrinkle as me. So

4:28

there's a group of kids who are the losers.

4:30

Yeah. So you're

4:33

right in and identifying with them immediately as

4:35

a nerd. Some of them it's because

4:37

they're poor or fat or black. Some of them it's

4:39

because they're Jewish or wear glasses seemingly.

4:41

Yeah. It was

4:43

a they're hitting every possible point you could get

4:46

on this. Everything

4:48

you could be bullied for. Yeah. The

4:50

fat kid? Not that fat. No, no,

4:52

no, no. But I was around

4:54

that fat when I was that age and like

4:56

definitely got called fat all the time. Really?

5:00

Oh yeah. Just in a modern world where everybody's

5:02

so much fatter, I guess. You know what I mean? Being

5:04

a kid named Alan when fat Albert was a

5:06

big thing. Oh, yeah.

5:09

Sorry. It's cool. I've

5:12

gone to therapy. Yeah.

5:17

There's like this movie is just a above

5:19

out after above out. Yeah.

5:23

The first was a child murder. There's

5:25

several children. Well, sorry. A flood of children.

5:28

Yeah. A literal flood. Yeah.

5:31

When did you see this first? I think I would have been

5:33

in like late junior high, early high school. Okay.

5:36

So not when it was on TV. No, it would have been like

5:38

five years, six years later. Yeah.

5:41

Yeah. And you loved it.

5:43

I loved it. Okay. And to be

5:45

fair, I still think the first part is pretty good. Okay. Part

5:48

one is pretty good. I think the first part is pretty good. I

5:50

think it's pretty good. I think it's pretty good. But the second part is

5:52

pretty good. And it seems like I said, that make me really mad, like

5:55

the things I described earlier or the fact

5:57

that Georgia. It's like not even

5:59

the same ethnicity as Jonathan. remotely like him. That mom

6:01

was definitely fucking around, you know what I mean?

6:03

Because he is not Bill's brother.

6:05

I will say that the Jonathan Brandis to John

6:08

Boy from the Waltons transition was pretty smooth. Was

6:10

it the mole? Because it was the mole. Jonathan

6:12

Brandis is fake. I laughed out loud when I

6:14

saw the mole. Fucking John

6:16

Boy in those bangs though. I was like... No,

6:18

that fucking ponytail. He still has those bangs. That

6:21

ponytail. That Lee Press-On ponytail that yelled at the

6:23

back of his head and I couldn't figure out

6:25

why or why it had that like George

6:28

Washington bow tie on

6:30

the back. He's a rubber band like

6:32

everybody else. A scrunchie something. Yeah, he

6:34

tied it with like a leather strap.

6:38

Also, he's supposed to be Stephen King. Yes,

6:41

Stephen King. He's the real

6:44

Stephen King. Holy shit, Stephen King

6:46

came up with Stephen King before we did. I feel

6:49

like I feel like a hack. Yeah.

6:53

So John Boy is married to

6:55

Black Christmas. Oh,

6:58

Black Christmas. Yeah. And

7:00

we... Not Margot Keter. No, not

7:03

Margot Keter. The other one. Yeah.

7:05

There's Tim Reed, aka Venus Flytrap

7:07

from WKRP in Cincinnati. Okay, yep,

7:10

yep. Who is the token

7:12

black friend? Yes. John Ritter

7:14

as aforementioned tubby

7:16

guy. But now he's like a ladies man. In

7:20

that fucking denim shirt and leather vest. He looks

7:22

great. He really did. 1990 all over that kid.

7:24

Yeah. My friend Amanda from the Pit

7:26

episode. Yeah. Just this week I heard her refer

7:28

to a man who was good at physical comedy

7:30

as having a real John Ritter-like quality.

7:33

He's fantastic at physical comedy.

7:36

Yeah. Funny guy. RIP. And

7:39

then there's the judge from

7:41

Night Court. Yeah, Harry Anderson.

7:44

Old Seth Green, which I thought

7:46

was a really nice, even though Seth Green is

7:48

like five foot four. But how cute

7:50

is he? You can tell that he was the only one

7:52

who was going to make something of himself as a child

7:54

actor. He's the only one with star power. Yeah, he was

7:56

great, I thought. There's

7:58

a measure. Richard Maeser,

8:01

yeah. The dad from Encino Man?

8:04

Not from The Thing. You can't hear him, no, he's the guy

8:06

with the dogs from The Thing. He's the

8:08

dad from Encino Man. He's

8:11

the dad in like every movie of that era.

8:14

He's got a good dad look. Yeah. Dad voice,

8:16

too. Yeah, yeah. Concerned and

8:18

kind of squeaky. Yeah. And just

8:20

like beleaguered. I

8:22

didn't know who the guy who played Eddie was. Apparently

8:25

he's been in things, but I don't know him. The guy who

8:27

played Eddie is the inhaler guy? Yeah. The

8:29

only thing I knew him from was breaking

8:32

away that bicycling movie from

8:34

like the late 70s where he

8:36

wants to be Italian. It's good.

8:38

It's a fun movie. It takes

8:40

place in Bloomington, Indiana. Who's the

8:42

lady is? Anet O'Toole. Anet

8:44

O'Toole, yeah. God, she's useless in this movie. I'm

8:47

going to throw this out there. Go. Kang,

8:50

not so good at writing the ladies. But

8:52

Child Bev, well, Child Bev in the movie,

8:54

I thought it was fucking Ginger Snaps.

8:57

What? Child Bev is a girl from Ginger

8:59

Snaps. She's the younger sister. No

9:01

shit. No shit. Wow.

9:04

So that's somebody else who had some star power who made it a little

9:06

bit further. Sure. Not as far as Seth Green,

9:08

obviously. No, no. Oh, Child Bev is like kind of a, she's

9:10

a pretty good character, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But

9:13

in the book, she has sex with all of them to

9:16

help them across the threshold to adulthood. I

9:18

wasn't sure when we were going to get into that. I mean, I think

9:20

it's going to, and one of the reasons we're doing this is because they're

9:23

remaking the series, I guess,

9:25

into a series. I

9:27

know it's a movie. Oh, it's a movie. I thought it was a series. Yeah, it's a

9:29

theatrical movie. But it's two parts again. Oh, really? Yeah.

9:32

It's at least two parts. Because

9:34

how the fuck could you tell the story in one goddamn movie?

9:37

It's true. It took stranger things like what, 10 episodes

9:39

to do it? To do anything. Just kidding.

9:41

It's fine. I loved it. It

9:45

did borrow heavily from it, by the way. Yeah.

9:47

I wonder if they're going to get into that in that

9:49

movie because it's supposed to be so much grittier. Did

9:52

you read it? Yes, I did. Yeah.

9:54

So you remember the, like, I'm going to also go

9:56

out there. Not Only do I not

9:58

think that Stephen King is good at writing. The ladies I think

10:01

he is terrible Ring sex scenes. I don't

10:03

know of. Oh.

10:06

Is that the kid? Loss.

10:08

Even Gang is an easy and King Jr the

10:10

Zebra do hill. I wish you a Stephen King

10:12

Jr. I

10:15

don't seem to have good writing sex now and

10:17

I'd like to eat like by ribs. they go

10:20

on for pages. Yeah and it's to sleep, but

10:22

there's not. It's not sexy in the least. Now

10:24

and then sets in Well I haven't read a

10:26

lot of Stephen King to the on a City

10:28

of In know if that's the same for adults

10:30

and and of us because it. Was deliver

10:32

their children. And it wasn't supposed to

10:34

be sexy. I mean, like today of. Having. Sex

10:37

is not sexy know it's upsetting when

10:39

we first meet Everly in the book

10:41

and in the movie and see his

10:43

dad the having sex with her partner

10:45

been in the book with the sexes

10:47

shown not not just ah okay of

10:49

answers like that and sexiness yes in

10:52

the movie with the bulls oh wow

10:54

yeah specific assess as a little of

10:56

the habit of and I was a

10:58

loving she fully clothed the salary as

11:00

messages that of that induces notable anything

11:02

no matter what governance issues of real

11:04

intense drive home says. That

11:08

boy that the men friend of hers round will

11:10

be cysts. In

11:12

it that has had years of abuse

11:14

said it actually has the mental problems

11:17

as a result The like mine. Assist

11:20

Assist Assist Assist Heard her adult characters:

11:22

So fucking useless. As as old Etti,

11:24

they're both fucking useless. Yeah, they're just

11:26

there's who, that you feel that there's

11:29

someone who needs to be protected. And

11:31

and in the adult scenes. Adults

11:34

Without Assistance in the second part where

11:36

they're adults last year. Constantly touching

11:38

someone someone. It's like they're just

11:40

like touching her face. Like to

11:42

avert. Had someone say. So

11:45

you simple as others have

11:47

a success in a. City,

11:50

so it was really weird that they were

11:53

constantly touching for. Like

11:55

thirty. Years you have achieved for to

11:57

them to the thirst for this you

11:59

know. It's like the nod to that

12:01

thing having happened. So weird.

12:03

It is so weird. It is so weird. I

12:06

do like the cuts between the flashbacks and

12:08

the present day. I think that that was

12:10

really well handled. In the first part, yeah.

12:13

And can we talk about the

12:15

bad guys? The gang of 50s

12:17

thugs and hoodlums? Yes, please. So

12:20

you've got the main bad guy with the devil

12:22

lock. Henry Bowers. And

12:25

then two sidekicks. Only one of them seems to be

12:27

named. Yes. Henry is named

12:29

Victor according to the credits. Oh, OK. And

12:32

this guy's name is Belch. Yeah, he's

12:34

pretty good. So I could. I the

12:36

first three lines of dialogue from Belch

12:38

are just Belches. OK. And

12:40

I wanted him to keep it up. Yeah. But

12:42

he's a three burp chump, as I put in

12:45

my notes. That's the third burp he's done. Yeah,

12:47

he doesn't talk again till he's dead, does he? Well,

12:49

he's also not Belchic anymore. There's no more

12:52

Belchic. Oh, OK, OK. I wanted

12:54

a nonstop, like, cavalcade of

12:56

Belching. Your name's

12:58

Belch, Doug. Yeah, make it work. It's not

13:00

three times Belching and then quiet. No. The

13:03

other guy is the one that I thought was probably my age.

13:05

Yeah, that wrinkle that I have right here from furrowing your

13:08

brow too much, which I feel like you can't get into

13:10

here at least 30. OK.

13:12

I don't know. I

13:17

like the idea of you just aging people

13:19

via their wrinkles. Yeah. It's

13:21

like carbon dating for people. Geek

13:25

waiting pool. What's

13:28

that? That's what they said when they were building.

13:30

Geek waiting pool. There's so many stupid lines in

13:32

the movie. Like, when

13:35

we see John Ritter as the first time we

13:37

meet him as an adult, he's like drunk and

13:39

he's just been awarded this thing. And

13:41

he's with this Hispanic woman and she goes, he drops

13:43

his award, he just got in, she

13:45

yells in a Spanish accent, your architect

13:48

award. I was wondering if they were all

13:50

going to have grown up to get foreign

13:52

sounding partners just because John Boy also

13:54

has a lady. He's a British lady,

13:56

yeah. Was she British? That was like

13:59

nondescript European. This you tell British

14:01

Iraq. Owner know and are

14:03

now another not and pursues. British and

14:05

like Christmas. I don't think there

14:07

are your I didn't recognize her from then until you just

14:09

mentioned it. See I see is useless although it's

14:11

assistance and final scene I honestly didn't even

14:13

what I turn it off because I was like

14:16

any what. Happened. But I need

14:18

fear is that fucking seabed I

14:20

wasn't seeing. In. The

14:22

three our chances you realtors. I rented

14:24

it out body and I I like

14:26

a kind of feel like I ruined

14:29

Sunday for everywhere in the house. this

14:31

is probably dead or when disease or

14:33

doubt that I didn't have worked. Nice

14:35

that you can watch Did today and

14:37

slick. Oh. I

14:40

started it Sunday as innocent.

14:42

Wednesday's. Anger. Oh, she's made it a foreigner.

14:44

Different. Isn't it? I was watching it

14:46

in pieces at work, sitting at my

14:48

desk. something. Like are you fucking serious?

14:50

Yeah. It's Skyn Eternal. It

14:52

is eternal. It is still

14:54

playing in my head right

14:56

now. He ass here to

14:58

these kids are troubled by

15:00

a clown. Very.

15:03

Frightening I would say. Especially when

15:05

I was in Nineteen Ninety. Yeah, This

15:08

launch degeneration of clown phobia. Here.

15:12

If domingo he didn't deserve assist Assist

15:15

assist you are. That's a good point.

15:17

I. Just temporary handles it so

15:19

masterfully. He's so good as think

15:22

is that you're laughing at. Me:

15:24

Like I'm the new know he.

15:26

He's like e mails the being

15:28

a clown aspect of it. like

15:30

when he's telling jokes yeah and

15:32

doing ah ah ah ah ah

15:34

the and kiss me pratfall. Has

15:38

a sister Three Solid Menace utilities having

15:40

a good time during the as like

15:42

although apparently everybody avoided him on that

15:44

because he was a scary oh really

15:46

I was at that. He likes his

15:49

them fucking kill somebody or even. Just

15:51

the way you like emotes through the clown

15:53

makeup I think is really impresses. yes

15:55

he does any does like he

15:57

runs a full gamut of emotions

15:59

like he's not just

16:02

evil all the time. Like

16:04

he's jovial or he's quizzical

16:06

sometimes. And like there's a

16:08

whole like, yeah, I really like

16:10

him. Like I think if

16:12

they, when they're remaking this movie, like there's a lot

16:15

of stuff that they can do way better than this.

16:17

Sure. There's a lot of things like shrinking

16:19

it down would be a good idea. Nope, doing it in

16:21

two parts, it's gotta be two. So

16:24

now, let's look at the checklist. I

16:27

don't know, maybe rehearsing before you started doing the

16:29

movie, cause I don't feel like that happened. No,

16:32

no, I'm gonna say no. But I think

16:34

the problem they're gonna have is Pennywise.

16:37

Is finding an actor of that caliber. Yeah,

16:40

they got some guy from Hemlock

16:42

Grove or something. Yeah, some like young pretty

16:44

boy. Yeah, some young pretty boy. Did

16:47

you see the stills of the, you're

16:49

rolling your eyes. Of the new Pennywise? Yeah,

16:51

you don't like it. No,

16:55

it looks too evil just on its face. Sure. Pennywise,

16:59

just kind of like if he was just a clown at

17:01

a carnival or whatever or circus, you'd be like, oh, that's

17:03

a clown. Yeah, he doesn't get evil till he wants to

17:05

be evil. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so like, just like, you

17:08

know, that's kind of, he

17:10

looks more fright house than he does

17:12

like circus. Sure. But

17:15

yeah, that's 2016 for ya,

17:17

you know what I mean? Yeah, I gotta dirty it up.

17:19

Kids these days. Gotta be gritty. So

17:22

they're troubled by this clown. John

17:24

Boy's brother gets killed. George is.

17:28

Because he's playing with a boat, a paper boat

17:30

going down into the gutter. Here's

17:33

a question about Maine. Yeah. Is

17:35

it always sunny when it rains? Sure. Cool,

17:39

great. When I was a kid, and I don't

17:41

know why, but we used to say when it

17:43

was raining and sunny out, the devil's beating his

17:45

wife. What the fuck does that mean? Don't know.

17:48

Weird. and I was

17:50

like, as I got older, I was like, oh yeah, the

17:52

devil's beating his wife. And everyone's like, what the fuck you

17:54

talking about? It's very strange. I don't know, weird thing in

17:57

my neighborhood, I guess. Yeah. Georgie gets.

18:00

boat and it goes into the sewer and

18:02

Pennywise rips his arm off. Which

18:05

we don't see. No and I remember that being really scary in the

18:07

book. I remember reading that and being like yeah

18:10

and it's fun. It's fun when

18:13

he first shows a George. Yeah

18:16

he's really hitting it hard and I didn't know if

18:18

that was like so it's supposed to it's like 1950 or

18:20

1967 right 1960 I think. Okay and

18:24

1960, 1990. Okay that makes sense. So it's 1960 and I was

18:27

like oh so maybe this

18:29

kid's going to

18:33

see like matinees of gangster films or

18:35

like something so he's kind of like

18:37

hey George. He like kind of hit

18:39

it hard like and then yeah I

18:41

guess so because he doesn't really do that through the rest of

18:43

the movie. No he loses the New York accent so I

18:45

didn't know if I was like it was supposed to be

18:47

like this is specific to an interest that this kid has

18:49

you know what I mean. I hope a six-year-old isn't going

18:51

to see gangster matinees. There were no

18:53

rules back then right? Sure. So Georgie

18:58

is dead and like I do

19:00

and there's there's another girl is that

19:02

uh Velma? It's Lori-Ann which I

19:04

know because she's going Lori-Ann. Sounds like she's

19:06

from Pittsburgh which I liked a lot. Yeah

19:10

this could have been Pittsburgh. I know super

19:12

trashy. No just had a

19:14

bit a rust belt vibe. Yeah

19:16

yeah very um yeah

19:19

very trashy. It's Derry, Maine right? So

19:21

we mentioned that it's Derry is the

19:23

name in the town. Which is only

19:25

good because later Harry Anderson makes that

19:27

Derry-ere joke which I think is always

19:30

funny. It's all set up. Yeah he is

19:32

a terrible stand-up comedian by the way. Apparently

19:34

he ad-libbed most of his lines. I

19:38

think he was well he's like a prop

19:40

comic magician like really

19:42

IRL yeah yeah before he was

19:44

uh night court. Great what a

19:47

guy. Who

19:49

doesn't love a magician? Everyone

19:52

literally everyone hates magicians. It's true I

19:54

mean everyone hates magicians. So

19:56

um so you know. George

20:00

is dead and now they're like I

20:03

can't remember how they get on to the

20:05

the the oh the Pennywise starts like haunting

20:07

everyone yeah he kind of shows

20:09

up and acts as your worst fears for

20:11

some people but then for other people it's

20:13

just like I'm just

20:15

fucking with you like Bev and the

20:17

blood coming out of the sink which is

20:20

still a great scene still a great scene except when

20:22

the voice says we are all the dead

20:24

kids what what

20:27

you can't see it but my arms are in the air

20:29

I am a gas you

20:31

didn't see this coming did you? We're all

20:33

the dead kids and I really like the

20:35

thing of the parents not being able to

20:37

see the blood see that's what

20:39

I think one of the main themes of

20:42

the book was the sort of disconnect between

20:44

childhood and adulthood that I feel like wasn't

20:46

really well explained in the movie the movie

20:48

made it seem more like it was something

20:50

wrong with the town which I think was

20:52

true but I think it kind

20:54

of lost that child to adults

20:57

yeah didn't you feel like a coming-of-age story

21:00

no it didn't yeah it didn't he was

21:02

in his coming-of-age like stand by me like

21:05

throws at this point yeah but

21:09

so like Richie sees

21:11

a werewolf in the basement after smoking

21:14

man from the X-Files who's the principal tells him

21:16

to go down and get a mop which

21:18

I really liked because they had gone to

21:20

the theater and seen Michael Landon in I

21:22

was a Teenage werewolf that looked like a

21:24

terrible way to see a movie everybody screaming

21:26

and throwing is that a movie for watched in

21:28

the 60s uh-huh it

21:30

was just screaming children it's weird because people complain about

21:32

people using their cell phones now I'd be so pissed

21:35

if I went to a movie if you were doing that

21:37

and throwing popcorn under it yeah what's

21:39

the damn movie yeah Stan sees a mummy

21:41

but by the time you see the mummy

21:43

you're like already so desensitized to these horrors

21:46

that you're like okay and who's scared

21:48

of a mummy really when it comes down

21:51

to it Stan apparently Bill

21:53

Jonathan Brandis has this really great scene I thought

21:55

it was really great where he's looking at the

21:57

photo album and it starts it winks and then

21:59

starts to bleed That was really good. Then

22:01

his dad comes in and is like you're never allowed

22:03

in here again, but leave the kid

22:05

in there I mean just like

22:07

15 more minutes And

22:14

then who is John Ritter and

22:17

Doug from the wonder years Yeah,

22:19

I couldn't find another credit for that guy Yeah, he

22:21

was um, there's like an episode where um, Kevin stops

22:23

hanging out Paul They have a fight and like Doug

22:26

becomes his new best friend Now

22:28

Paul was played by Marilyn Manson if I remember. Oh,

22:30

yeah, absolutely. Okay 100% true So

22:36

Ben sees his dad by the biggest sewer

22:38

building which is an awesome looking building is

22:41

that it's a sewer building Yes.

22:43

Okay. Yes in the swamp of

22:45

Maine means well Okay

22:49

But his dad turns into a talking Skellington,

22:51

which was great and then grab his foot

22:53

which I really like I like a

22:55

thing grabbing a foot. Yeah, so that's that's about it

22:58

Eddie has a stupid shower scene which

23:01

I hated what the showers the showers

23:03

heads keep coming out Very

23:06

Freddy. Oh, yeah,

23:08

you're right. Yeah, this was I

23:10

mean Pennywise is kind of a Freddy character

23:12

Yeah, it's almost like he's haunting your dreams,

23:14

but IRL Pushes

23:18

the shower floor apart and like a clay nation

23:20

I didn't hate that part. I mean I

23:22

appreciated all the practical special effects We'll get

23:24

to the big special effect at the end

23:27

of this homina homina

23:29

homina Are you talking about the

23:31

puppet? The

23:34

puppet made me want to cry crab spider from

23:36

space And

23:43

the saddest eyes All

23:52

right, let's

23:54

keep so yeah, so they're they're tormented by

23:57

this clown there's a I what I am

23:59

assuming was a nod to Phantasm

24:01

scene where they are looking

24:03

at old-timey photos because Tim

24:07

Reed's character Mike has

24:09

this book that his dad's compiled that's

24:11

filled with Pennywise drawings which I loved.

24:13

Yeah what is my dad doing? I don't

24:15

know but there's a picture of the

24:17

town with the circus in town. Yeah.

24:20

And then it becomes animated a la

24:22

the old-timey undertaker in Phantasm

24:24

and that becomes animated. Yeah I love

24:26

that scene. Tim Reed runs up and

24:28

he like jumps on one pole and

24:30

I swear to Christ he was like

24:33

oh no I'm not close

24:35

enough. I liked it a lot and

24:37

then his hand comes through the book which I also

24:40

liked a lot. There's

24:42

so many parts of this that I like a lot but

24:44

they're just dragged down by so many parts that I literally

24:46

like put my foot through my laptop watching it. And

24:49

now I need a new laptop.

24:51

I watched it in one marathon

24:53

sitting. Here's what you gotta do, you

24:56

gotta watch him at work. It was a

24:58

fucking 24-hour rental. That's disgusting

25:00

that's an eighth of your day. What

25:02

are they doing Amazon? That's rude. That's rude

25:04

Amazon. I've rented movies from there that are

25:06

like an hour and 20 minutes long and

25:08

they're like you have this for the next

25:10

whatever. Yeah just take it and go. We're

25:12

probably gonna close up shop like Hollywood video

25:14

and just let you keep everything you know.

25:19

Okay. So then we cut

25:21

to the future. Yeah I mean yeah. They're all looking

25:23

magnificent lives except for Mike. Who like

25:26

you would think they didn't don't sell just for men

25:28

in Maine because his biggest problem seems to be that

25:30

he has his hair is gone gray. I

25:32

wish I had gray. Yeah looks

25:34

great. Yeah great. He commenting on his

25:37

hair being great. It's like it's fucking fine.

25:39

Yeah I know I look pretty old. I'm

25:41

pretty old. Yeah I look pretty old. You're

25:44

42 or something. I'm pretty. Well I

25:46

am almost fully gray in my

25:48

beard. I've got my face. What?

25:53

Not sure. He stays behind and he's the

25:55

town librarian. He's the only person who doesn't

25:57

have success. But none of them are

25:59

are. I was saying none of them are married, but

26:01

that's not true. None of them have children. Right,

26:03

right. Yeah. I

26:06

did say librarian on purpose. I know you did. I

26:08

just chose to let it pass. And

26:12

everybody else is wildly successful in

26:14

their chosen field of architect Stephen

26:16

King. Beverly by

26:18

hand. Beverly by hand? What does she do? I think

26:20

she makes clothing. She seems to run a sweatshop is

26:23

what I would say. And

26:25

then Eddie is rich by

26:27

living with his mother. And

26:29

running a limo service? Question

26:31

mark? I swear

26:34

to Christ, that guy was his lover that gave him

26:36

a ride to the airport. Yeah. There was just

26:38

like too much intimacy between those two. But later he

26:40

reveals that he's a virgin. So sure. So he's

26:42

the final girl. And then there's Richard Mazer,

26:44

who is the dad from Encino Man. Famous

26:48

and for being the dad from Encino Man. I will not

26:50

say it again. He's my girl

26:52

too. So is he? But he's not the dad.

26:55

He's the uncle. No, Dan Ackeride's the dad. Am

26:57

I missing anybody who's famous? I don't know what

26:59

Richard Mazer was famous for. I think just being

27:01

a dad in 90s movies. I feel like he's like just

27:04

a recognizable guy. No, no. I mean, for in the

27:06

how he was so wealthy. How he made his money. I don't

27:08

know. He was living in Atlanta. That's all I know. Maybe he

27:10

was a professor or something. He looked very professorial. He did. He

27:12

did. And he seemed to be having a good life. He was

27:14

married and had a nice wife. Yeah, they seemed like they were

27:16

very happy. They were going to fool around. But they were

27:18

they couldn't get pregnant. It seemed like was an issue

27:20

for them. Yeah, I was kind of like, you're probably

27:22

about 41 at this point. Clock's

27:26

ticking. What

27:31

is that everybody? I think that's everybody. Oh,

27:33

Richie's a comedian. Stand up

27:35

comedian. Yeah. God, he's not good. He's not

27:37

funny. There's no good jokes. Derriere

27:41

made me laugh. Did

27:43

he tell he didn't tell that one on the night show.

27:46

That was a private joke. Or

27:48

whatever he was on. When he was talking after he did

27:50

the tonight show, Ben, he got the call from Mike

27:52

to come back to Derry and he's talking to like

27:54

his manager guy. And apparently he's supposed to fill in

27:56

for Letterman or something. Okay. He's filling for Carson.

27:58

I'm sorry. Carson. And he's like, get Jay

28:01

Leno. Yeah, that's what it is. OK. The

28:04

guy's like, we've been through a lot together, Rich. Like, you

28:06

can't bail on me. And you just put the sunglasses on,

28:08

like, the deal with it. Yeah. I

28:10

loved it. I loved it. He was just like, deal

28:13

with it. Love that deal with it,

28:15

kid. And as soon as the guy walked

28:17

away, he took him back off. Yeah. He's like, I'm done. This is

28:19

all I needed to do. See, we're not opaque sunglasses either. You could

28:21

still see his eyes through them. No, they're. They look like transition lenses.

28:27

I loved it. So they all get summoned back

28:29

by Mike. Because he's been

28:31

waiting. He's been doing all this research and

28:33

waiting. One person does not come back. Stan.

28:36

This is the end of part one.

28:40

Where I am totally on board and,

28:42

like, Stan, do

28:45

we want to say what happens? By the way, we're spoiling this.

28:49

Well, Stan kills himself because he doesn't want to come back. And

28:52

I remembered this right before it happened. I

28:54

was like, oh, no. Yeah. It's really a

28:56

bummer. It's a real big bummer. Yeah. Because

28:58

he also gets killed in the thing. Yeah,

29:01

you're right. An Encino man. He's

29:03

an Encino man? He doesn't die. I heard

29:06

that he was the one who stung Macaulay

29:08

Culkin in Minecraft. Wait. This

29:10

is all a mess. Well,

29:13

yeah, super sad. He

29:16

slips his wrist in the bathtub. This

29:18

is, though, after. And I'm sorry, we're all over the place

29:21

with this one. But who can tell what order it is?

29:23

And nobody knows. Even Tommy Lee Wallace doesn't know. Stephen Kang

29:25

doesn't know. After they're

29:27

in the sewer as kids, I thought it

29:29

was a really great scene. It's very atmospheric.

29:31

I thought the sewer looked great. It looks

29:34

shittier when they go back and they're all,

29:36

I don't know why that is. It

29:39

definitely looks shitty once they get into the cave system. Yeah.

29:42

Why are all sewers caves? I was

29:44

like, am I suddenly in a D&D

29:46

adventure? Why are they in caves? So

29:49

Henry Bowers and his friends follow

29:51

them into the sewer. And

29:54

they grab Stan off the back of the line. Nobody knows

29:56

if Stan's gone for a while. But they're straight up

29:58

going to kill him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That seems

30:00

unusual. Until belch gets folded into the

30:02

pipe and folded in half. Loved that.

30:05

I loved that. You love a folding in half. I

30:07

love a folding in half. It's just so synchronized diving.

30:10

So what looked cool

30:12

was the lights coming up the pipe

30:14

to grab him. What looked strange

30:16

is why are there all those holes in a

30:18

pipe presumably that's going to carry water. Excellent

30:21

question. Did not occur to me. Oh,

30:25

that's the sprinkle pipe where you'd pump water there and then sprinkle

30:27

it and everything. That's where your poop comes out.

30:29

It's a poop colander. Yeah. No poop

30:31

colander. I

30:39

was up in the middle of the night reading about

30:41

creepy pasta and I'm going to add poop colander to

30:43

creep pasta. That's a really good idea. Copyright, copyright, copyright.

30:45

The Slenderman and his poop colander. Yeah. Hey

30:48

Georgie. Come here real, Dad. Poop colander.

30:51

It's disgusting. I've

30:55

been talking about poop

30:57

a lot on this

30:59

podcast lately. I

31:03

will stop at some point. So

31:06

then Stan runs off, Henry Bowers looks into

31:08

the bright lights, his hair turns white and

31:11

he ends up confessing to all

31:13

the crimes, like all the murders later, whatever,

31:15

fine. But then, so the other

31:17

kids, they all get together, they're holding hands and then

31:19

Pennywise picks up one of them. I can't

31:21

remember. Maybe it's Stan. I'm not even sure. And

31:24

he's, it's, there's just a scene of like a clown

31:26

carrying off a child, which I find very

31:30

disturbing. Really? It's like

31:32

a very deep, disturbing feeling for me. Do

31:34

you have the clown phobia? Not

31:36

as much as I do for horses. But

31:38

I mean, I find clowns unsettling, certainly. What if

31:41

someone dressed a horse as a clown? What if

31:43

a clown was riding a horse? Oh,

31:46

that's definitely happened. Yeah. I cannot go to a

31:48

circus. Do you know what I mean? There's just

31:50

too many things there that aren't for me. But

31:54

also in the scene, Pennywise is on. so

32:00

good and sometimes they just give him nothing to work

32:02

with where he goes, I am the eater

32:04

of worlds and of children. Yeah,

32:08

I thought that was covered in world serve. Like

32:12

that's the problem with this movie is like, one

32:15

of the problems with this movie is like there's a

32:17

scene in the second half where John Ritter is in

32:19

the cab and he sees the clown just standing on

32:21

the side of the road with all the balloons in

32:23

the middle of nowhere waving, which is very

32:26

creepy. And then there's like a balloon

32:28

in the car that says turn back now. Like, no, you

32:30

just, it's like you were here and that

32:32

was good. You have to take it up

32:34

to there. The reveal of the balloon slowly

32:36

turning is hilarious. Yeah. And

32:39

he's like, have you ever

32:41

looked at the internet memes of people who

32:43

dress up like clowns and just wait? What

32:45

do you mean just wait? I know it was happening in Detroit

32:48

for a while and I think it happened. Like they'll go to

32:50

like, you know, kind of

32:52

vacant parts of town and just hang out and

32:54

wait for people to drive by. When they drive

32:56

by, they just wave at them. So there's all

32:58

these pictures of clowns and weird spots at night.

33:02

And people just do it to fuck with people. And I

33:04

think it's genius. That is genius. Like

33:06

there was, there was an old

33:08

lady who I think was arrested for doing this. She

33:11

kept leaving like old porcelain dolls on

33:13

this family's front porch. Why? She

33:16

was doing it for the little girl who lived in the

33:18

house, but they felt like they were haunting. Yeah.

33:21

Yeah. Yeah.

33:23

I don't have any fear of clowns either. So like

33:26

I suppose if I was driving through an abandoned like lot

33:28

and there was just a clown standing there waving me waving

33:30

at me holding a bunch of balloons, I'd be a little

33:32

I mean, I will get near a clown. Do you know what I mean?

33:36

I'm saying I don't hear them as much as

33:38

horses, but I certainly find them distressing. Sure. Like

33:40

why would you go near one? I don't know.

33:43

I don't have any need to be near clowns. Children

33:45

should be near clowns all the time. They bring you joy. That's

33:48

clowns are definitely different. So

33:53

they shoot Pennywise with

33:55

silver earrings in a slingshot. And

33:58

he that kind of takes care of him for 30 years. Yeah,

34:00

after we get to the nebulizer in the face. This

34:02

is not a real food you're

34:04

saying! Okay.

34:08

Oh, I forgot the veg I would... They

34:10

got busted by the cop for building the dam.

34:12

The Scottish cop? The

34:14

Irish cop. Oh, he's

34:16

Irish. Excuse me. I'm just so

34:18

insensitive. Well, well, well. What have

34:21

we here? Twirling his

34:23

baton. It's so

34:25

funny. I wanted it to be

34:27

Pennywise because it was so ridiculous. But

34:30

he really was just a caring officer.

34:32

He was a stereotype. Yeah. Oh,

34:35

and uh... This is a

34:38

trigger warning, I guess. There's a lot of N-words

34:40

in this movie. Yeah. A lot of N-words.

34:42

I don't know why I laughed after that. I

34:44

just did. Because

34:47

I saw my notes that said, N-word Ahoy. Because there's one

34:49

word where they're just like, bam, bam, bam. Yeah. So

34:53

that's pretty much the first movie. Yeah. The

34:57

movie starts with John Boy returning

34:59

to Maine and seeing Pennywise digging graves. Digging

35:01

seven graves. Because I also really, really liked.

35:04

One of the graves is full because Stan

35:06

is dead. They don't know Stan's dead at

35:08

this point. I like that too.

35:12

John Boy goes to see Mike. Does not mention the full grave

35:14

to him. He's not like, hey, did you talk to everybody? Because

35:16

one of the graves... You know what I mean? It's just very

35:18

like... Why don't

35:20

you guys... You're not a good detective for being a... Not

35:23

a detective writer, but like... I don't

35:25

know. Seems like you should be good at this. Also,

35:28

why didn't you get out of the car and try burying

35:30

Pennywise? That's true. That's

35:32

true. Maybe he couldn't dig out. No one's

35:34

adopting my run at the thing that you're

35:36

afraid of. I just think... I

35:39

think that that presents an issue for movies. Did

35:43

I mention already that the special effects are cool? Like

35:45

when Pennywise is melting earlier, when he gets sprayed in

35:47

the face with the battery acid nebulizer, he

35:49

looks really cool when his face is all melting and fucked

35:51

up. Yeah, the effects are great until the end. Yeah.

35:55

I love all the blood in this movie, too. It's

35:57

super bloody. There's just blood everywhere, like blood coming out

35:59

of sinks, blood... In balloons blood like

36:01

spurting. I'm people Fazer. That fear

36:03

Big fan of that Supergrass to sort of

36:06

of the see where Beverly comes back to

36:08

town. We left said what the balloon drop

36:10

for let's saga weather balloon drop of. The

36:12

balloon job a blend drop is like my a

36:14

legit dream in life to just be somewhere and

36:16

have a balloon drop off you know of any

36:18

for leisure and my own accomplishments. Yeah that they

36:20

are like popping the will season spring of blood

36:22

and it was noticing know as as an exit.

36:24

They're all like the soil, a flimsy. Including

36:27

a very specific hundred. these are trying not

36:29

to flames but they can't solve themselves and

36:31

I really like that because the food at

36:34

work woods the downtime between shots were you

36:36

have to clean the faithful on and you

36:38

then again and years like the kids. a

36:40

semi woman. As

36:43

us Beverly goes home to his streams,

36:45

her strings father who's a complete peace,

36:47

a fucking garbage. Shit. He had drunk

36:50

drunk. Peter. Yeah, Trump Peter. And

36:53

there's a nice only be living in the house

36:55

now of flowers over the house. Looks really

36:57

nice. He has done marvelous things to the

36:59

house. she has barely come in and has

37:02

some tea. Beverly thinks the bell says marsh

37:04

when she does ring it which is her surname

37:06

were that it actually said curse. Via Paypal

37:08

Us yeah She gets the cup of

37:10

tea and notices that it's a couple

37:13

of blood yeomans, a server blood in

37:15

their see, they're all rotten. Yeah, I

37:17

like them. And man her the old

37:19

lady turns into heard drag dead zombies.

37:22

One of the better effects on the movie of

37:24

the dead dead old lady dad. Were

37:27

on the average United States your second process

37:29

what's going on and that like can such

37:32

off kilter and then she runs out of

37:34

the house and she turns around. And.

37:36

The health as boarded up in the

37:38

most hard soon haunted house way that

37:40

it's very scooby doo services out the

37:43

system is it's not good or very

37:45

dense and braces else and last Man

37:47

on Earth reacts twenty seven boards but

37:49

it doesn't say anything is actually closed

37:51

all. Here. In Beverley like standing in

37:53

the middle of the street is kind of

37:55

like stuns a second. Looking at this and

37:58

a truck nearly hit thirty of. You're

38:01

sitting there like it's It's like the truck loss.

38:03

It's. Brakes. It's like almost is there. and then

38:05

a balloon flies out. Here. It goes on

38:07

the see. How it balloons as.

38:10

Portents. Of Evil ideal. I

38:12

really do. So

38:14

let's talk about Bowers. Them. For

38:16

gun in. The. One thousand lived here. He

38:19

is now an insane asylum years in

38:21

prison for all the shit that is

38:23

done. Or. Yeah, yeah, you confess all.

38:25

That the murders. And so.

38:29

He could have any was goes

38:31

to him in the moon, a

38:33

heated bed, And

38:35

minutes Beltrame have gotten bourbon Barrels

38:38

comes out under his bed. He

38:40

looks great on dead Northam like

38:43

a killer three yes and he

38:45

says he's like arbiter Cooties on

38:47

duty. Tonight's. He says Koontz is

38:50

the worst. I hate him as. A

38:53

wizard? who is. They're legit.

38:55

Beef between king who is.

38:57

I mean, that's certainly certainly his rival

38:59

anyway, but it seems like so it's

39:01

punjab. You never pants down. Seems.

39:04

Like Stephen King talking about the him since

39:06

his hunting down. Or just wandered laterally. Easing

39:09

seen since is as good as even. Came. To go to

39:11

have read books and look at the amount of both

39:13

with missiles reached with. Would you were teasers? It's

39:15

as Dean Koontz. Rules sits just a

39:17

of that the assess assess it just

39:19

feels like punching only never conceptual, always

39:22

punjab. But I was also like. With

39:25

there is they're legit beef like that's

39:27

hilarious Areas I'll I'll. I did like that

39:29

point of it and then think it was like

39:31

something I'll make a movie mass. Me

39:34

months single Dean Koontz. Book. Ah,

39:39

And Help Me Raise is a movie ever

39:41

been made of his books? I'm

39:43

sure. To. I know one of

39:45

your new home. And we're

39:47

going to dig the time to look that up remote mountain. I

39:49

have my phone in my head. I'm not going to you my

39:51

them to do that. Any

39:54

was shows up with a Rottweiler for ahead

39:56

it is of the garbage. It as

39:59

I had severe. It's. Getting into why it

40:01

needs to be a rottweiler and wide When

40:03

they did that they weren't like mean. We

40:07

use the dog is going in. The

40:09

movie was yes, Brian brought the dog

40:11

to set for going to use them

40:13

and my know right after that is

40:15

as a two hour and twenty five

40:17

minute mark. This movies a goddamn slog.

40:19

Yeah, As you again I really big The

40:21

first part is good and goes. Quickly.

40:24

And us as like us. An hour and a

40:26

half movie will. Feel. Said. And

40:29

sees as Christ that last bit

40:31

is so long. As

40:33

he can them forever to make this move is. Utterly

40:39

seen stance head in. The. Refrigerator. Ways

40:42

making fun of everybody kinda like that.

40:45

That was really good. Sneer like oh we need

40:47

a drink and makes like I'm sure I i

40:49

something in here and opens the the mini fridge

40:51

under the library. what are you fucking drinking in

40:53

the library. Lays

40:56

potato home to his house.

40:58

It's important to suffer. A

41:03

lot because of. The he says

41:05

he him a dun dun boy

41:07

bill say. On oh

41:09

this is report Helm and Mike does it

41:11

still is and singles his keys and go

41:14

to walk up the stairs and. Tell.

41:16

That. Is it yours?

41:18

A No. No, it's fucking dumb

41:20

dumb as somebody else is. how like

41:22

way. We've. Regiments in the

41:24

when they come back as adults. none

41:27

of them have real solid memories. their

41:29

childhoods. oh yeah it all comes back

41:31

some doesn't lowly comes back from like

41:33

never forgot to the never lucky narrow

41:35

us and memories as a. Stupid less

41:37

Etti is talking about As good as I

41:39

know that Stan has killed himself. They call

41:41

his house and argus are told by his

41:43

wife or a police officer somebody that he's

41:46

committed suicide. Etti they today's the remember that

41:48

san said he looked into it's dead lights

41:50

he had seen area in it's form not

41:52

a clown but in it's like pure form.

41:55

In. eddie's like he ran up to

41:57

me in school and said i saw

41:59

it I looked right into its deadlights. Why would he roll

42:01

up to you in school and say that? Why not tell you

42:03

about it at the time? Do you know what I

42:05

mean? Like, the more of the next day in school, it's

42:08

also supposed to be summer. I

42:10

just don't, it's just shit like that that I'm

42:12

like, why didn't you sort this out? That's

42:14

the same problem I had with Halloween 3, like the

42:17

time zone issue. That's

42:19

all. I really like the

42:21

concept of deadlights. I think that's a

42:23

cool phrase. Yeah, for sure. And so do they, because they

42:25

then say it like 57 more times by

42:28

the end of the movie. You didn't think of it

42:30

until then. You know what I mean? They all come

42:32

back, their memories are coming back. They have this like

42:34

big chill dinner scene where they're all catching up. They're

42:36

like, let's not talk about anything. Let's just get to

42:38

know each other. I think this is where they play

42:40

Beck Curtis Mayfield song again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my

42:43

God. Which is the same song they play when

42:45

they're building the dam, right? Yeah, and I think also when,

42:48

or maybe it's a temptation song, when Mike

42:50

and Bill are riding around on

42:52

Hiyo Silver, away!

42:55

We haven't even talked about his stutter. Like there's so many things that

42:57

we're just, I'll get a thing

42:59

right over. Both him and his

43:02

younger counterpart are terrible at fake stutter.

43:04

I know. It's like, no one could have

43:07

trained you on this. But I like

43:09

to think that John Boy did the stutter first and then

43:11

the younger John Boy was just like, well, I guess I

43:13

gotta do it like that. But that

43:15

was the reason he was in the loser sub because he

43:17

stuttered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just making sure. Yeah, the

43:19

dumb scene where they fucking put the bike facts together, which

43:22

would have been like an all day affair. Come on, this thing

43:24

was a wreck. I mean, it

43:27

just doesn't, it's like these

43:30

people are so into symbolism. They're

43:32

so cognizant of everything being symbolic.

43:34

Like how Mike found this bike

43:36

in a pawn shop. Like Mike could say at a

43:38

pawn shop. And also like three

43:40

months prior had purchased a bike repair, a

43:43

tube repair kit. I don't

43:45

know. And then he gets out

43:47

the deck of cards to put in the spokes and they're

43:49

just like, okay, guys, you've got a ghost or a fucking

43:51

clown to kill. Let's do this, come on. It doesn't have

43:53

to be lighthearted. And then the cards have

43:56

two A's of spades. And.

44:06

Thank you. And Pennywise on

44:08

the back, which would be a cool deck of cards

44:10

to own. So

44:14

whatever, I actually thought the Chinese dinner fortune

44:16

cookie scene is probably one of the best

44:18

in the movie. Yeah, they're all really competent

44:20

actors, so when they get to this

44:22

free-form act, it's fine. It

44:25

was totally enjoyable to watch them enjoy each other

44:27

and hang out. That was fine. They're

44:30

all back together, they're all formulating their plan

44:32

of how they're going to go take out

44:34

Pennywise. They're going back to the sewer. Right.

44:36

Richie doesn't want to go. I know. Why would

44:38

you want to? Nobody wants to go until John

44:40

Boy's like, Mike's like, I'm going and

44:43

then John Boy's like, I definitely want to go.

44:45

And then Mike gets stabbed and it's like, oh yeah, I can't

44:47

go. You don't even get to use all that sewer gear you

44:49

put together. You like, has a box full of helmets and shit,

44:51

flashlights. They take none of it. They take none of it. They

44:53

take nothing. Why don't they take

44:55

knives at least? They end up

44:57

ripping it apart hand by like with their

44:59

hands. You guys know you could have brought

45:02

knives, guns even like you're

45:04

adults. You could work with your not.

45:06

You're so stupid. But it's the symbolism, right? Of them

45:08

getting in there. I'm so sick of the symbolism. So they

45:10

go back to the sewer. Mike

45:13

has been stabbed by the crazy man and then they

45:15

all kill the crazy man and leave him in the

45:17

apartment. Right. The room that they've all touched with

45:19

their hands and they are all guests in this hotel and

45:21

they all run out the door. Yeah. The

45:23

man at the front desk is reading The Glowing,

45:25

which is one of John

45:28

Boyce. Stephen Kang. And

45:30

The Glowing. I know. Yeah.

45:33

And they say something like, let's put up the

45:36

Do Not Disturb sign and pay through tomorrow. Yeah.

45:39

Fucking dummy. It's like, what? Forget it.

45:41

You literally are paying with your credit cards, you guys.

45:43

So they go back to the sewer. They

45:46

do some climbing around in there. The

45:48

problem is too that there's so much buildup

45:50

to this final confrontation. It could literally never

45:52

live up no matter how good it was. And

45:54

it wasn't. No, it was not

45:57

at all. It's like six

45:59

minutes of this. Epic. Epic

46:01

saga. Yeah. So they go

46:03

back, they fight Pennywise, he turns

46:05

into his natural form, they chase him into

46:08

a cave. His natural form is a spider?

46:10

Yeah, with the dead lights on his

46:12

tum-tum. A six-legged spider.

46:15

Yeah, yeah, space spider. It's not good. No,

46:18

the design of it is terrible. It's a

46:20

shitty puppet. And I think it

46:22

does a disservice to the movie that Tim Curry has

46:24

been so good the relevant and he's not even in

46:27

the final confrontation. Well, one of our listeners

46:29

actually on Facebook gave us a note. Ryan

46:32

Coates saying, uh... Hi, Ryan. ...ending

46:34

absolutely sucked. I love this movie but

46:36

hated the ending. King

46:38

turned an iconic-looking child-killing clown into

46:41

a giant, sewer-dwelling space spider. Yeah.

46:43

A spider. Yeah. And

46:46

it's just like... And a shitty spider at that. And

46:48

I mean, that falls into the, like, I'm sure

46:50

into the budget and all that stuff, but it

46:54

doesn't look good at all. No, and I feel like they had

46:56

to have been disappointed when they saw it. Sure. So

46:59

it, like, picks up Eddie and kills

47:01

him, I guess? Yeah. Picks

47:03

him up and drops him on the floor and Bev

47:06

shoots it with the silver

47:08

earring again. And it backs

47:10

up. It's not dead. It backs up. And they all just, like, crouch

47:12

around Eddie, even though the thing is about a foot and a half

47:14

from them. It's like, it

47:16

doesn't even make sense. You would never do that. You know what I

47:18

mean? And then she shoots

47:21

it in its deadlight with the other silver earring. Right, okay,

47:23

right. And then they tear it apart with their hands and

47:25

blow it apart. But

47:28

you only see, you see it briefly, but then it's

47:30

mostly in shadow. It looks like a caveman scene, like,

47:32

perhaps from Encino Man. I

47:38

don't know. I mean, I don't know. It's like, even,

47:41

I remember really liking this movie when I was

47:43

young. And I remember being super let down by

47:45

the end. Even when you were young. Yeah. And

47:47

it had terrible taste. So it's really bad if,

47:49

like, young Katie was like, this is too bad.

47:53

And we forgot to mention that Bill's

47:55

wife was abducted by Pennywise. Alright, she comes

47:57

in to be the hero. But then...

48:00

then immediately gets eaten. And

48:02

she's just hanging up. Audra. That's

48:06

what a stutter sounds like. It's not good. It's

48:08

terrible. Terrible. And it's

48:10

like, so when the monster dies,

48:12

when Pennywise Spider or Space Spider,

48:15

crab face with sad eyes, dies.

48:18

I need to go back and look at his eyes, but I don't think I'm going

48:20

to. All the people that

48:23

are hanging around just start getting slowly lowered

48:25

down in the spider webs. I miss that,

48:27

actually. I was at the office. It's

48:29

probably on the phone. So

48:32

Bill takes Audra, and

48:34

she's all fucked up, and

48:38

she can't speak and all this stuff. You put her in the

48:40

hospital and she's all fucked up. She's in like a vegetative state.

48:43

And so to get her out of the vegetative

48:45

state, he gives her a

48:47

ride on High Ho Silver, down the

48:49

dangerous, dangerous hill. In traffic, like across

48:52

streets where they did not have the

48:54

right of way. And all these people are slamming on their brakes and getting

48:56

out of the car and going, oh, shucks.

48:58

Young love, young love. And

49:01

you're just going, beat it, beat it, beat it. I

49:03

think, right? I didn't watch it. I'm just

49:05

going, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

49:11

Now I want to do that song. So

49:14

it's giving the note, bike riding cures all. Yeah.

49:17

This is after we learned that everybody has

49:19

left and Ben

49:22

and Bev are

49:24

married within a week and then

49:26

suddenly pregnant. And that Richie is now

49:29

working with a comic who looks and

49:31

acts a lot like Eddie. I

49:33

can't imagine that guy being a guy who acts

49:35

like Eddie would not be a comic. I don't

49:37

know. The whole thing is just very stupid. Oh,

49:40

and Mike and Bill don't know each other's names anymore. Oh,

49:42

yeah. That's why would they forget each other? Because

49:44

they moved away. But they didn't. They

49:47

were still in the town. I don't know. It's been mere

49:49

days. And it's not like these people lost their affinity for

49:51

each other because two of them just fucking got married. And

49:54

they're clearly staying in touch with Richie to know what his work life

49:56

is like. Again, it just stupid.

49:58

It just falls apart. Do

50:01

you want to move on to the ratings phase,

50:03

Katie? I don't, I guess.

50:08

This is going to be so nostalgic for me.

50:11

Yeah, go. In the movie and the book both.

50:13

I feel like it was really an intro to

50:15

horror for me. I think I bought it on

50:17

the double VHS at like a Blockbuster going at

50:19

a business sale. No, nice. And I bought this

50:21

and Night of the Living

50:23

Dead and I think Halloween and

50:26

something else. Yeah, I know. I

50:28

know. These were like my

50:30

things that I was like, oh, I'm in on

50:32

this. This is for me. And

50:36

the first half I think is good and Tim

50:38

Curry I think is great. Yeah. And

50:40

the effects are good and I love all the blood, but there's

50:42

so many things that make it so hard to watch that

50:45

I can't give it. Oh God, I've been

50:47

thinking about this all day. You've

50:49

been fretting over it seemingly. I'm getting and I'm getting

50:51

that wrinkle again that I have the same as Henry

50:54

Bowers, 32,

50:56

six and a half, six and a half largely

50:58

for nostalgia and almost

51:00

entirely for Tim Curry. I will

51:02

preface my review with saying that I am sad

51:05

that Bill's ponytail did not come into play to

51:07

save their lives. Oh, how could

51:09

it have? Did you have

51:12

to cut off as many ponytail and feed

51:14

it to Penny? I am the eater of

51:16

world and of children and of shitty ponytails

51:19

because there was no other rationale for that thing to

51:21

be on his fucking head. You know my character is

51:23

going to need a pony. You

51:25

got to give me a pony on the back of my head, baby. All

51:28

right. John Boy out. This was a

51:30

fucking slog to sit through and watch in one sitting. It

51:33

was a monster. I guess you weren't, you're not

51:35

supposed to. And

51:38

I was, yeah, no, no, you're supposed to

51:40

watch it over two nights. Yeah. Thanks

51:42

Amazon. Yeah, that's a dick. We need to get

51:44

someone from Amazon on the line on this one.

51:46

Someone's asleep at the wheel. Hey Bob Amazon, we

51:48

have a phone to pick with you. You're

51:51

doing it wrong. And it's too much.

51:53

It's too much to sit through and watch.

51:55

So that probably feeds into my five

51:58

that I'm going to give this. Totally

52:00

middle of the road. I would not watch it again.

52:02

Never? You don't think you'll ever watch it again? No.

52:05

Never. When is the last time you saw it before? 1990.

52:07

When it was on television. Really? Yeah, I would

52:09

have been 16 when this came out. Were you,

52:11

like, surprised by any of it now, or did

52:13

you pretty much feel like it? I'd forgotten about that fucking

52:15

ponytail. There you have

52:17

it. I remember Pennywise being

52:20

scarier than I found him this time. She

52:22

was much more jovial than I remember, much

52:24

more Freddy Krueger than I remember him being.

52:26

Very quippy. Yeah, I just didn't... I had

52:28

no joy watching this at all. And, like...

52:31

And which is weird because this should have been in

52:33

my nostalgia wheelhouse. And it just wasn't

52:35

there. Bummer. I really enjoyed the book when I read

52:37

it, when I would have been around the same time.

52:40

But it just... this did not have the same, like, staying

52:43

power for me. Five. Five. Five. Done

52:46

and done. You know what I'm

52:48

not afraid of, Katie? Oh, God. Oh,

52:53

God. Katie. What? Tell me

52:55

about Cryptocurium. Cryptocurium is a

52:57

monthly subscription box, specifically The Parsel

52:59

of Terror, which is full of

53:02

handmade, awesome stuff from our friend

53:04

Jason McKittrick. It's magnets,

53:06

a wall, plaques, art. He has

53:08

stories sometimes. He has candy sometimes.

53:10

More candy, please, Jason. It

53:13

means a lot to me. Amazing stuff for

53:15

your home, for your life, and

53:17

it's only $35 a month. And you

53:20

can get it by

53:22

signing up at cryptocurium.com.

53:24

c-r-y-p-t-o-c-u-r-i-u-m.com. And

53:26

it just gets delivered to you, and it'll continue to

53:29

get delivered to you. You can see what's going to

53:31

be in it before you get it, which is awesome.

53:33

And you can go on Instagram, at Jason's Instagram, or

53:35

the Cryptocurium Instagram. How

53:37

many times can I say Instagram in this sentence? It

53:41

tries to gram it shorter. No, I don't like that. It

53:44

makes me feel weird. And

53:47

see him making stuff and his

53:49

process, and it's incredible. It's

53:52

the underscore Cryptocurium. Thank you.

53:55

Right now he's doing a special thing, which Alan

53:57

is going to tell you about. The Trick and Treat

53:59

Edition. of the parcel of terror,

54:01

which our trick is September, treat is

54:04

October, August 31st, which will

54:06

be two days from the day this episode

54:08

drops. Two days. Get in there,

54:10

you're not gonna wanna miss out on these. If

54:12

you're listening to this after August 31st, sign

54:15

up for the other one, because you're not gonna miss

54:17

the treat box either. These are gonna be awesome, they're

54:19

all Halloween themed, Jason loves Halloween, you love Halloween, it's

54:23

a marriage made in Halloween

54:25

times. I like that. Sell

54:27

apart a little bit at the end. You know, Jason's

54:30

already married, but I think he'll

54:32

marry all of you. And Halloween. And

54:34

Halloween, it's a different kind of marriage. What

54:37

else we got going on, Katie? We have our

54:39

very first discount code. What?

54:42

Yeah, artist Dylan Garrett Smith, whom we've talked

54:44

about in the past. Yeah, great dude. He

54:46

makes great dude, great art, he makes amazing

54:48

stuff. Super creepy, beautiful, atmospheric works of art,

54:51

and he's also done a lot of commercial

54:53

stuff. He works with bands, you know, album

54:55

art, he's worked with a bunch of companies,

54:59

he does really cool art. And if you

55:01

go to his website, dylangarrettsmith.com, D-Y-L-A-N-G-A-R-R-E-T-T,

55:06

smithsmith.com, you can buy his stuff, which

55:11

you need in your life. I'm telling you right now, you need it.

55:13

For sure. And Werewolf Ambulance listeners get

55:15

25% off their entire order. I

55:18

know, I know, deep discounts here. It's

55:20

like the game of... It's

55:23

like... Deep cut reference.

55:25

Deep discounts. Deep

55:29

shapes of buying art online, except that it's

55:31

not fucked up. Like when

55:33

you... What, you didn't even get these sewn shut?

55:35

When you put it on, you're not gonna be

55:37

like, fuck, that's why it was cheap. I'm

55:40

not gonna show it to him in my back. Rob

55:45

once bought a package of boxer briefs there, and

55:47

when he put them on and then later at

55:49

work, went to use the bathroom, realized that all

55:51

the flies were sewn shut. He

55:54

was like, what do I do? So it's

55:56

like that, but it won't be fucked up. It'll just

55:58

be perfect. It's just cheap. So

56:00

it's nothing like that at all. It's a 25% off

56:03

discount on the entire order when you enter E MT

56:06

25 that's echo

56:08

mega Tron EMT

56:11

because you guys are EMTs

56:14

EMT 25 all one word at your checkout

56:16

and you'll get 25% off Dylan's amazing art

56:18

I feel like this discount code is making

56:20

me feel like a real podcast. I know

56:22

I feel like we're shilling shilling well Yeah,

56:25

I mean speaking of shilling Katie. Yeah,

56:27

we have something to show Other

56:30

than our time and kind words We've

56:33

got t-shirts I'm touching one right now it's

56:35

in my hands We

56:38

will post pictures of these t-shirts. Oh, yeah, we should

56:40

do that. Yeah, they look like and where are we

56:43

gonna post them? Well an Instagram Facebook, okay We

56:45

will post pictures of the t-shirts and then as soon

56:47

as we forgot how to sell them to you We

56:49

will post that on Facebook and Instagram Like

56:54

for real how do people sell shit We

56:57

just set up a PayPal and you guys give us money and

56:59

then we'll mail it out to you that makes sense I guess

57:03

So yeah, if you guys sell stuff online you can hit us

57:05

up Dylan

57:09

I'll email you after this it will be

57:11

you'll get it tonight, which is three days ago So

57:14

we have t-shirts they're gonna be for sale Justin did

57:16

a fucking amazing job Katie And I were just looking

57:18

at them and laughing at all the shit that's on

57:20

this. Yeah There's also portraits of Alan

57:22

and I on them, which I really

57:24

love they're really great They're really great and

57:27

also Tom Savini's on it. Yeah and

57:29

Brian from wing who hasn't been brought up in quite

57:31

some time I feel like I was really hitting

57:33

that joke too hard Also, we

57:35

need to do single white female. I know it's not exactly a

57:38

horror movie, but Sure,

57:43

if he in that day is the boyfriend. Okay,

57:45

hunky hunky boyfriend. It's a beager Do

57:48

we have anything for mailbag this week? Yes, we absolutely

57:51

have something for mailbag this week Is

57:54

from our friend Emily who is a

57:56

person who loves statistics and

57:58

if you recall in earlier episodes we

58:01

had asked for a scatter graph scatter

58:03

graph I was gonna say scatter gory's

58:05

nothing like correct if you want to set a scatter gory's

58:08

of our ratings yeah and she has

58:10

actually put one together it's over

58:12

the first 94 episodes

58:15

like way up to date so

58:17

she writes hi Katie and Alan I was listening to

58:20

older episodes of werewolf ambulance where you were calling for

58:22

a scatter graph so you could see the ratings of

58:24

movies over the course of time I don't know if

58:26

you ever received a scatter graph but since you're coming

58:28

up on a hundred episodes and because I love a

58:30

good voluntary data crunching project I made one for you

58:33

I'm sending you this PDF which shows all the tabulated

58:35

data and the first graph I thought to make this

58:37

one is arranged chronologically by movie date Alan's ratings through

58:39

the 80s are the highlight of this one

58:41

so we're gonna post this so

58:43

you guys can see it and also we did receive an earlier

58:45

version of a scatter graph I think of the first 16 or

58:47

so episodes from Jim Robinson yeah great dude thank

58:51

you she has some quick numbers as of episode 94 the

58:54

average movie rating is six point five four

58:56

yeah the average spread between the ratings for

58:58

movies only point five four yeah Alan's

59:00

average rating is six point eight one and

59:02

Katie's average rating is six point two seven so

59:05

when you guys get on the internet you're

59:07

like wait Katie hates everything just remember that

59:09

I only hate it point

59:11

five four less or whatever the

59:14

largest spread between the two ratings is seven points

59:17

and that was predator oh was it yeah that

59:19

makes sense then you really loved predator and I

59:21

just wasn't into it yeah yeah that's how it

59:24

goes number of movies of tide ratings

59:26

was 21 which is a lot yeah and

59:28

the number of movies the Katie refused to rate

59:30

with three I was trying to

59:32

think what their kill list what were the other two oh we're

59:36

gonna have to go back and listen to them all yeah well it's probably

59:39

on the scatter graph I refuse I apparently refused

59:41

to rate Queen of the Damned or darkness

59:43

Falls either I

59:45

wholeheartedly believe it

59:48

thank you so much Emily this is amazing

59:50

and this is the chart I'm just gonna

59:53

show this to you on my phone here holy

59:55

shit I know it's amazing yeah

59:57

amazing an amazing amount of work yeah

59:59

I know Did this voluntarily. Well,

1:00:01

she had to listen to all these dumb episodes. I know.

1:00:04

Sorry, Emily. She says, I'd love to format

1:00:06

this out into something that looks less Microsofty if you'd be interested

1:00:08

in having something for your 100th episode, but I quite frankly love

1:00:10

this. She has ideas for a bunch

1:00:12

of different ways of showing the data. Like, you're

1:00:14

a, you know what, Emily? You get

1:00:16

a free t-shirt. What? Yeah. Holy

1:00:19

shit. I just did that. We know you,

1:00:21

IRL. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we'll get that over to

1:00:23

you. Yeah, yeah, thank you. I gotta not give away

1:00:25

all these t-shirts for free, man. We gotta make our

1:00:27

money back. That's true. Thank you, Emily. And

1:00:33

yeah, we'd love to see what else we could do

1:00:35

for the 100th episode. So if you want to throw

1:00:37

something together, that'd be amazing. Yes, please do. Especially getting

1:00:39

a free t-shirt. Yeah, it's work for now. Work, work,

1:00:41

now you make, now you're beholden to us. That's

1:00:44

mean. We often say

1:00:46

mean things during this portion of the show. Comi-six

1:00:49

we are. Very terrible people. Yeah.

1:00:52

Speaking of terrible people, what are we doing next time? Next

1:00:56

time we're doing a remake. A

1:00:58

remake. The Ring. The

1:01:00

Ring. Naomi Watts. Naomi Watts.

1:01:03

What was it, 2002? Something

1:01:05

like that. Yeah. I think I

1:01:08

was in college, I don't know. Is this the one with the

1:01:10

scary horse scene or is that equal to that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:01:12

This one. Great. This

1:01:15

one. On the boat. Yeah. You

1:01:17

know what else I'm afraid of? Open water. Oh yeah, yeah,

1:01:19

yeah. And nightmarish children walking out of well. So this should

1:01:21

be good for you. Yeah. Love it. So

1:01:24

we're gonna do The Ring. It's on the internet. Watch it.

1:01:27

It is this, right? Yeah, yeah. Great.

1:01:30

And we're coming up on our 100th. We have learned something very

1:01:33

special planned for that that I think you guys are gonna be

1:01:35

excited about. Yeah, it will not be a guest episode.

1:01:37

It has been our every six episodes. So

1:01:40

just gonna be us. Losing

1:01:42

our minds. We're just gonna do a bunch of cocaine and

1:01:45

see what happens. Did I say we're on the surprise? Yeah,

1:01:48

we're doing less than zero. We're gonna do a bunch of...

1:01:50

Oh no, that's not what that would be. This is the

1:01:52

time where I pretend I'm Andrew McCarthy. So

1:01:56

yeah, The Ring. Catch us next time to do

1:01:58

that. Yeah, get us on the... the internet. If

1:02:00

you can rate us or review us on iTunes,

1:02:02

we'd love it. We're still trying to break into

1:02:04

that top Brazilian babies. Yeah, we're coming up on our

1:02:06

100th, so this would be a special present for us if you

1:02:09

could do that. Yeah, you should give us

1:02:11

presents. Yeah. Then give us money, and then give

1:02:13

Jason money, and then give Dylan money. Tell him you heard about it from

1:02:15

us. Use the discount code. I mean, like, what else

1:02:17

do you need? Thank you so much for

1:02:19

listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. Bye. Thank

1:02:33

you.