0:00

In. Here we pour with.

0:02

With. With. Treats

0:06

the ginger thirty. Pm

0:12

just. Popped

0:16

on t just here. Now

0:18

this was years. In

0:22

just. Let. His you

0:24

have a welcome back to his computer. My guess is one of

0:26

my favorite people. Or there's a prom I guess what I mean

0:29

Once again. Today it's Dan Saint Germain. Are

0:33

you know what an Andrew? What a I have to

0:35

I want to hype up the guess make him feel

0:37

so the anywhere in basketball shoes so I wanted a

0:39

word or or more my Jordan sort of those Jordan

0:42

Thirty six I have no other Jordan one hundred on

0:44

Amazon I have no join one hundred and I was

0:46

ever I have a price I want to hit with

0:48

my shoe. it's always one hundred dollars to around one

0:50

hundred. You know once I book another book another gig

0:52

or it was go Who goes. Goes. To series

0:54

the show goes a series of a bit of

0:57

a bump up to two hundred. What's your you

0:59

are going on right now you am Soder got

1:01

a cartoon were unlike while being a peacock with

1:03

Stone Cold Steve Austin. Shot. While

1:06

the. Yoda eight

1:08

with we Do It you'll definitely do. a voice

1:10

thank you is involved song called. Yeah.

1:12

Do we sold to show them are So he

1:14

was like a popular Us. Hitching with Steve was

1:16

like it was wholly like it was like we'd

1:18

have a good reviews you pitched a bunch of

1:20

shows are almost always if you have a big

1:22

name like that some are like why you something

1:24

that I think sometimes they don't show up there

1:27

are like yeah you can use my name and

1:29

I'll just be a part of it later in

1:31

your life I've I've pitched a lot sold a

1:33

couple but the ones that I've sold like one

1:35

one I want where I went into one would

1:37

Jake Johnson and like the executive certain wrestling J

1:39

and I was like oh or sound were showing

1:41

that are going about Steve it was. Hilarious because

1:43

I like if a pitch when Grady be

1:45

iraq but if it didn't go great he

1:47

goes the yoga to to put a little

1:49

more still gone and the reality is really

1:52

arise. Steve fifty feet our yard around right

1:54

now that the be a dumbbell and you

1:56

get in the room. That

1:58

learn it was. It was awesome. He's awesome.

2:00

That was like one of my favorite of

2:02

all time of all of the Shitty

2:06

MTV punk that one was the best where like the

2:08

guy was being rude to the valet dude And he

2:10

like look like he was about to like beat his

2:12

fucking he's like you're a stupid son of a bitch

2:14

You know that yeah, dude the actor whoever it was

2:16

you could tell There was a moment

2:18

when he thought I got a break because this guy's

2:20

gonna knock me out Yeah, don't call it's gonna literally

2:22

knock ya. Yeah for sure and I everyone has an

2:24

audience was like punch him dude Just punch him Steve it

2:26

was it was the greatest punk because like then I've

2:28

seen ones Did you see the one we're like? Who's

2:32

I think like somebody almost started crying. It was

2:34

like Justin Timberlake Yeah, when they started like crying

2:36

and you're like they removed all his goods from

2:38

his home. Yeah, you're like top one So would

2:40

you just be like don't air this I'd be

2:42

like don't air that did I'll give you money

2:44

Yeah, I would I would I would start crying.

2:46

No, no, you know That

2:48

guy had all that trauma though from like Lou

2:50

Pearlman like just taking all the fucking all those

2:52

childhood stars They were so abused and so like

2:54

yeah grossly overused of the Disney thing. Yeah, it's

2:56

disgusting. Yeah, it's just no No, I didn't watch

2:58

it. I saw I in

3:01

the zeitgeist of the internet now You

3:03

don't even need to watch anything everyone just tells you in all the clips

3:05

Yeah, it's disgusting is all it is it but it's not

3:07

like anybody surprised No, not one not on

3:10

that one people are taking advantage all these young kids. You're

3:12

like, yeah, it's gross It felt gross anyway

3:14

I mean you think back at the day when like

3:16

Shirley Temple's just like, you know smoking a pack of

3:18

reds You know with all like the fucking midgets when

3:20

she was like a weapon or something like that Insane

3:23

like I watched a documentary yesterday about on

3:25

the plane ride home about Rock Hudson about

3:29

Like him having a high to sexuality, but the funny

3:31

thing was I heard it's great That's really good dude

3:33

If Rock Hudson was alive today though The

3:35

internet would have clipped him within the first

3:37

year of his like partying because he would go

3:39

out in West Hollywood And just like

3:41

they'd like collect dudes and bring them back to his castle

3:43

is what they call it and he did like 30 dudes

3:46

And it was like, you know all a legit party everybody

3:48

wanted to be there But it was it

3:50

was part of the conversation that they were like you can't

3:52

tell anybody that you were at Rock Hudson's house But

3:55

but that was all his staff. He didn't care.

3:58

It almost felt like why I kind of wanted people to

4:00

know he was gay and didn't give a shit

4:02

but everyone around him was like come on dude

4:04

we gotta wild yeah I do I mean like

4:07

I would be having such a fun time like I never

4:09

get propositioned by women anymore you know I'm married but like

4:11

yeah this week I just got a casual message from some

4:13

guys like because he saw a bit of mine he says

4:16

I bet I had a gay experience

4:18

in college he's like hey man you want me to suck

4:20

your dick and I was like no I'm

4:22

good that's so nice thank you though I

4:24

said I said hey that's really nice you

4:26

guys all right well you looking good it

4:28

was like thanks buddy thank you dude you

4:30

know like I've been propositioned a few times

4:32

on the road by

4:35

men asking me to sleep with their wives

4:37

even if I was single no thank you yeah

4:40

I mean that's a lot of prayer because you look

4:42

you first off you don't know when like the guy's

4:44

gonna like flip and then all of a sudden just

4:46

and kill you yeah they're in his home also he'd

4:48

they want to be there to watch as a whole

4:50

thing and this is multiple times the first time I

4:52

ever got asked was years ago and I thought they

4:54

were I thought he was you know like joking around

4:56

right and he kept pushing me about and then I

4:58

don't know any white guys that's happened to I've known

5:00

a couple black guys so good for you but I'm

5:02

kind of black there's parts of me yeah I mean

5:04

I'm rare like a black guy you know I'm rare

5:06

yeah you're half ginger you're like not one of us

5:08

I'm not I'm not yeah I'm not fully ginger we'd

5:10

walk you into the meeting but we'd have to like

5:12

pat you down and make valid oh yeah it would

5:14

be like black Klansman but with yeah

5:16

no I got asked a few times and it was

5:18

um I even

5:20

thought like let's

5:23

just say I'm a single guy all of

5:25

the negative things about it immediately enter your brain

5:27

of like why I'm in your house you're

5:30

probably gonna be filming this or something fucking for

5:32

sure yeah there's never gonna work out the

5:35

ones budget yeah right right it's gonna be bad no

5:37

matter what but getting offered for some guy to give

5:39

you head it's kind of rad man good for you

5:42

yeah you know I still got it apparently you still

5:44

got what was the gay experience in college I

5:47

hooked up with this well this guy he went down on me

5:49

it's straightest way to hook up I

5:51

gave him a hand job which is the gays

5:53

way to be gay yeah but he ended up

5:55

like winning a Tony so like the one time

5:57

I like went with gays I like hit the

5:59

LeBron. James a day or that's pretty improv.

6:01

you know the egg the girl that guy because

6:03

they were get your fucking guitars and are now

6:06

whether as if you know so I guy should

6:08

have stayed in my Wayne cause I would would

6:10

have a lot more fun. I thank you know

6:12

I probably be dead for Mike eighties aid yeah

6:14

for sure he out. I mean like and like

6:16

sick must as hades here he would have gotten

6:19

that. Yeah yeah Ross has to sell the good

6:21

yeah like I guy. good positioning for Congress age

6:23

around like in a a number of and I

6:25

got around Nasa you made the quilt you are

6:27

two major that foot on the I become the

6:29

quill. Yes, I saw that by the way in the

6:31

documentary as they did show that quilt or at and

6:33

when he brought it to D C and they put

6:35

it in front of the Washington Monument enough. And.

6:38

I remember as a kid. Hearing

6:40

about it, you know been with us it were

6:42

close as they may have I'm piano Melody of

6:44

i'm Forty Male so like I'm of as a

6:47

kid kind of hearing about that thing but not

6:49

really understanding to that was like what are they

6:51

making them blankets for? Why are they doing it?

6:53

Why does any blankets? I didn't understand his access

6:55

to all quilting for these gay people. Zoc! What

6:57

is that? Why is that important to the culture?

7:00

and then you get older you like? Oh right.

7:02

this is so like Congress would pay any attention

7:04

to these people do. They had to make noise

7:06

otherwise. Reagan. Was like. Not.

7:08

Interested? No, not interested. All

7:10

like. Aids is Gay. Would

7:13

have. luckily really glad that of the

7:15

speeches were Clinton's talking about in there.

7:17

just like guys yelling in the back

7:19

like were dying. Yeah, were dying is

7:21

I got. well. good luck. And while

7:23

I'm sad that you're dead fish L

7:25

Boy Sacks at your funeral to live

7:27

and put in a tent Daves Euro

7:29

Place act as I know they didn't

7:31

I it's just it's It was polarizing

7:33

to see that I watch these old

7:35

Hollywood. Documentaries.

7:37

A lot to see. To. The that

7:40

there were things about the old days that we're

7:42

kind of beautiful. Obviously the had rain but there

7:44

was a lot of sparkle on pieces of shit.

7:46

But like the studio system was so interesting

7:49

that you they paid for everything they literally

7:51

bought your whole life it's as. You.

7:54

Didn't have to handle cash because they didn't want

7:56

you to be aware of. You. Know what's

7:58

really going on. So they were like will buy. Or paper

8:00

house food car service so you didn't

8:02

see a bill. they didn't seem like

8:04

rock. This. A Rock Hudson just

8:06

didn't have handle money. And. The only

8:08

reason he needed money was when he went out at night. To.

8:11

Clubs. So that's why there was this

8:13

big disparity of like. We

8:15

can't give him task of than we know he'll be up to no

8:17

good again. So he needed money to

8:19

go out to go party but they wanted to

8:21

keep him isolated. Be like don't we bought we

8:23

don't You have a beautiful home like you have

8:26

all those shit you read, write and somewhere like

8:28

work. it is that confining. But like now living

8:30

in the day were like you can't just be

8:32

comedic actor. you gotta be a stared up you

8:34

go everyday podcast Yeah got I fuckin started in

8:36

L L C for god's you know it's it's

8:38

there is a big comforting about to somebody like.

8:41

Your. Job is just a cat. Likes being

8:43

Priscilla Presley, you know I just kept person.

8:45

Was it being in the in the. Kind

8:48

of. The. Toughest thing about being

8:51

in the arts or whatever you want to

8:53

say is I guess now you're people are

8:55

making. Less.

8:57

Art because you're. Trying to

8:59

keep up with the business. That's the hardest part.

9:01

You like to do all the shit an I

9:03

also to make the things but I have to

9:06

keep doing the thing. To. Make sure

9:08

I'm able to do stuff you know I couldn't

9:10

have a social media guy so it's like me.

9:12

I'm like make sure okay to hit the algorithm

9:14

of going to make sure it comes in at

9:16

three pm from San Siro. your i'm tryna mainline

9:19

heroin or emphasis is Chris matters. By the way,

9:21

I'm sorry, talk about this off camera before you

9:23

got and I should remove the bottles with those

9:25

hours. Far as a matter of Barbier: six months

9:27

over six months back. Yeah, didn't have the code

9:29

of readings for like eighteen years with six with

9:32

I I. I went on a bad one after

9:34

my mom died last year said our like. So.

9:37

Now I'm I'm back out of the woods everyday

9:40

now. But as the but you're healthy again you're

9:42

happy and healthy again happy again do in Santa

9:44

began right again all that kind of shit. I

9:46

visited her little bit and we used or got

9:48

of caffrey want to one you know we're before

9:50

that was shut down while they a maze of

9:52

the going into something else and I don't go

9:54

over there anymore now I don't like the like

9:56

like one at why change it I get it

9:58

was there was like. Im fine Elway

10:01

Play This is the problem. Los

10:03

Angeles is so transients both in.

10:05

It's like you businesses and people

10:07

that. Nothing. Can stay here. We

10:09

don't keep any that with the only things

10:12

that are kept here we're already here for

10:14

fifty years. You're you're relatively new, like you

10:16

are burst in the eighties or nineties and

10:18

I like this your dollar they're going to

10:20

move and or something else needs to get

10:22

in their business and of people want to

10:24

sell because I like fuckin it's worth money.

10:26

were silva business and get out of town.

10:28

yeah I went on a Black Dahlia tour

10:30

when I lived here. All yeah a sensitive

10:32

area because we'd sure you the house where

10:34

they filmed. you know the body butter is

10:36

a Krispy Kreme other an appropriate. To

10:39

have that is originally from big as acts like

10:41

a bit every true crime tour guide by the

10:43

way he was like just covered in cat hair

10:45

like I've never just like yeah he should be

10:47

issued was you said after or before the show

10:49

to you have three dogs you v i only

10:51

have how many lives you as we only have

10:53

one hour get another one of nice with would

10:55

either a Sega saturn oh man you know like

10:57

there's this whatever might with the mud hut up

10:59

the street right going to grab whatever the are

11:01

not going to put remembers like today's from didn't

11:04

put the i just grab a moron and and

11:06

take it in a nice to have another of

11:08

the something. That was. I'm. A

11:10

some some it was one that was probably living

11:13

in in a body or and east l a

11:15

row that ah was kicked out of a home

11:17

and then now was eating. Street

11:19

scraps and so we get those things. Save

11:21

diarrhea for like, You. Know a months

11:23

and then a level out us you get to

11:26

the worms and everything. The dogs are great but

11:28

yeah we loses wall street Monroe word third were

11:30

third one right now and we're probably gonna like

11:32

Reagan that get any lesson for My wife told

11:34

me like I need no less than three know

11:36

west holy shit again eaters he wants for. My.

11:39

Groove and a fucking two bedroom and that's that's

11:41

a lot. Yeah, do that, you know. But you

11:43

know. I mean if a provide some sort of

11:45

happiness and safety and whatever you need who gives

11:48

a shit while ave other a what, they're a

11:50

lot. There are a lot there on us all

11:52

the time. Know cats though right? Know cats. I'm

11:54

allergic to cats. Yeah, are we all. The.

11:57

Are you say feel like we're suppose I

11:59

think everybody is allergic get and then you

12:01

think we should drink milk and regulars? are

12:03

we? do it anyway. Rebel gotten better at

12:05

the right just before I got a lot

12:07

of us. Have. An have and

12:09

my guard. I try to go the

12:11

route of the popular. Out

12:14

Almond. Sophia whatever feel better

12:16

afterwards? you do but I just

12:18

the flavor of. Rich

12:20

Six Sadie Milk is on Taught Have

12:22

you always been thin? Ah,

12:25

I went through like a little

12:27

heavier phases but never like big

12:29

bags. Yours royal, pretty good. While I

12:31

have. Cognisant. we punish myself when

12:34

I overeat and then feel so much shame

12:36

about it and I like hurt myself And

12:38

then I get back to lick where I

12:40

need to be so I can I use

12:42

my cellphone. I go back You yeah you're

12:44

really like them up and down him over

12:46

time to big. Now to I broke my

12:48

friends toilet yesterday so my girl were says

12:50

are becoming like a fuckin seen from the

12:52

clumps. as a sophomore at Is Hop I

12:54

see what does user sat down in turn

12:56

to ferreted snare. I was taking a shit

12:59

if I did even just sit down a

13:01

ticket shoots and I felt a crack underneath.

13:03

Me like the fuck in San Andreas fault

13:05

of if yes and I was I might

13:07

do. You do you call some of them

13:09

state of replace watch their dogs and like

13:11

I gotta go by you guys who toilet

13:13

seat and there are any good as here

13:15

in their mouth like well whenever haven't you

13:17

get I totally unheard of Other: it's okay

13:19

can we you standing? We're jumping on the

13:21

toilet looking for something. A boy you're not

13:23

drinking red now now but you know that

13:25

shares been broken. I've talked about the such

13:27

years and broken and has it's not breaking

13:29

right now so look at that either Ago

13:31

people people broke such as. The boys real we

13:33

may prefer yes the tree set on Ralph his

13:35

lap on a silver started. Are they worth a

13:37

rug or Russian dolls and synthesis of the i

13:40

do when you come in and you you stay

13:42

so you always say a friend's houses or do

13:44

you ever want to know when or where we'd

13:46

be for the rest of the here unelected our

13:48

couple days ago. And. then i went to

13:50

my friend's place for a couple days is there

13:52

at a town as another for it's boys was

13:54

nightmare melamed yeah maybe be for the rest of

13:56

it and are you know i think i'd prefer

13:58

just do i'll tell them next time for two

14:01

weeks. I like hotels only because they look for

14:03

a key. Yeah. I don't feel guilty about hotels

14:05

because you can just kind of get in, fuck

14:07

it up, trash it, and then leave it and

14:09

not feel. I just. Starfish on the bed. Yeah.

14:11

I don't want to feel weird about somebody's house,

14:13

about being like, oh, man, I'm

14:15

in this person's house, and maybe I shouldn't smoke

14:17

in here, or something. Whatever that is. Plus, have

14:19

you seen that there's that horror movie like Dave

14:21

Franco did, like Rental, where it's like, you

14:24

know, like it's OK. But

14:27

it's pretty good. But like the guy makes copies of

14:29

the keys and comes in and kills everybody. Like that

14:31

can't happen in a hotel, but I feel like it's

14:33

more likely to happen in somebody's house. It's probably never

14:35

going to happen at a hotel. The rarer it is

14:37

that would be through the roof. Yeah. Someone

14:39

can do that in Airbnb so easily. Yes.

14:42

Come back. I've lived in places

14:44

in New York that are shady. Like I used to live

14:46

in Washington Heights, and I was like 22, 23. And

14:51

my landlord used the living room

14:53

as an office. So like

14:55

imagine bringing a girl home, and there would

14:57

be a giant TV with black

14:59

and white security footage of the whole

15:01

building. Oh my god. And you have

15:04

to explain that like, no, don't worry.

15:06

I'm not the Golden State Killer. For

15:09

us. For security, for safety,

15:11

for your safety, in fact. Places I fucking

15:14

live, dude. But now you're happier in Queens

15:16

again. Yeah. We live in a

15:18

nice little complex. But I mean, like

15:20

New York and LA are both shit ears since when we've

15:22

been like last 10 years. Yeah, we've

15:24

been. Last five years. What would we do? The decline of

15:26

Western civilization, both you and I. Where

15:29

would we go, though? That's

15:33

my problem. Where would you go? Well,

15:35

I mean, I guess like rich

15:37

people are buying like really rich people

15:40

or just buying compounds now, apparently. Fresh

15:42

water deposits. What am I going to do out there?

15:45

Oh, I'm fucked, dude. Because I'm never, even if I

15:47

have like a good year, I'm still not in the

15:49

bracket of like great, like I'm not. Like

15:51

that's like Rogan money. But yeah, but what would you do? You

15:53

need to have like Rogan money to get like fresh water deposit.

15:55

Yeah. And also that what? So you got to wait for the

15:57

$250 million check to come in. Right,

16:00

and at that point it's currency devalued

16:02

anyway. Right, so who cares? What's

16:05

real? So let's die happy in Queens with three

16:07

dogs. Exactly, although I'd like to be upstate I

16:09

think. Do you guys have the one place or

16:11

do you guys have another little place? No, our

16:14

spot here, we do just little getaways but we

16:16

don't have a place, we just get away and

16:19

we'll just go stay somewhere for a little while, which I

16:22

wish I had another place somewhere to go to

16:24

but I don't mind just getting in a hotel

16:26

and living somewhere for a

16:28

little while. I don't mind, we're going

16:30

to the Poconos for a couple days and just living

16:32

like a normal person would live for like four days.

16:35

That's my idea of a vacation now. But

16:37

upstate's great. Yeah, I get up

16:39

there, I'd love to get a tiny place in the Catskills

16:41

if I ever, financially I could afford

16:44

it. Well, make your girl start that OnlyFans you guys have

16:46

been talking about. For sure, man. You can put all that

16:48

stuff in your ass and make your money. Dude, for sure.

16:51

I mean I've thought about that. Dude, there's some people I

16:53

know that are making like 40 or

16:55

70K on OnlyFans a month, not

16:58

even sex acts. Really? Pictures

17:00

of asses and shit, yeah. I'll show my

17:02

pipe for 40K a month. For sure, dude.

17:04

Yeah, that's insane. Are you kidding

17:06

me? And what would be the... Dude, both you

17:08

and I have done road gigs that are way

17:10

more humiliating than showing our dick on

17:12

fucking camera. Yeah, dude, 100%. Are you

17:14

kidding me? Where you're staying in a, staying

17:17

in like a Motel 6 and the

17:19

hum of the Pepsi machine right outside

17:21

keeps you awake. Those moments

17:23

will be burned into my sad

17:25

brain for the rest of my life. That's

17:28

the worst ASMR ever, like when you hear them...

17:31

Oh my God, I hate it so much. And

17:36

people just coming going all night long. It's

17:38

like that scene in Big when he's a kid and he

17:40

first moves to New York and the gunshots are right outside.

17:42

No, that's exactly what it is. That's what it feels like.

17:44

You're having that, but when you're 35. Yeah,

17:46

that's awful. Now those days I'm

17:49

glad are a little bit in the rear view, but

17:51

it makes you happy when you do go to a

17:53

place. That's why when I go somewhere and they're like, what's

17:55

on your rider? And I'm like nothing. And they're like, you don't

17:58

want anything? I'm like, no, I just, I want Do

18:00

a show and and go home. I don't. I

18:02

don't need to like make this. Anything

18:04

other than it is. I'm just happy that are

18:06

here and we're doing it. Let's get the fuck ups

18:09

that you don't have the like Airforce ones that

18:11

are it out and saying rather that yeah who was

18:13

other areas of years and other oh Eddie Griffin l

18:15

know somebody would ask for shoes that every venue.

18:17

I remember hearing that they wanted a fresh pair of

18:19

Air Force ones at every venue. What a great

18:21

demand! I'm not an apt category, I'm in the category

18:23

Ram Abby they're giving me. You. Know a

18:26

western instead of being like oh you to stay

18:28

with me and the kids out there are other.

18:30

I had a gigawatt for his date with a

18:32

guy I'm like were given them already having breakfast

18:34

as or fucking family and a wife was an

18:36

urgent Matters here is every bit of New Uncle

18:38

every weekend it it was like cut up hot

18:40

dog bees and like this is like a great

18:42

depression photos isn't. This.

18:44

Entire Million eight This Norman Rockwell's said

18:46

stand up comic. another man's home fit

18:49

fit. Coming through shit food in here

18:51

we par with a this episode was

18:53

he did your is brought to you

18:55

by square space I've talked about square

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space a lot on the show that

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or domain This episode would consider is

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brought to you by better help. I've

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the show. I believe in therapy. I

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do think it's incredible. I think it

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ethoslife.com/ the

25:52

Well the condo days when you say the condo is

25:54

a lot of the conduct it was tough. Those are

25:56

condos are really really tough. There's that one in Winnipeg.

25:58

There were also like old ladies there. And like

26:00

you're like like going to the gig

26:02

and you're just seeing like old people wait for

26:04

their families that don't show up So sad so

26:06

sad and you have to do this

26:08

and you have to like pretend like it's totally okay

26:10

and normal for you to be In that situation too.

26:12

I mean you do like like last night, you know,

26:14

I'm at the main room of the store It's like,

26:16

you know 400 people and you're like, this is the

26:18

life You know, like you're like famous people were on

26:20

the show, you know, and then and then like immediately

26:22

you're brought down to earth Like a week later, you

26:24

know, you're in a Quintin like with a gun in

26:27

your mouth It

26:30

does feel it's up and

26:32

down. But look you're up right now. You have

26:34

a special out. Let's plug it baby You too,

26:37

baby free free free free free. Go watch it

26:39

right now paywall No paywall on YouTube now

26:41

Do you do the thing where you let them donate to you

26:43

on there? I put my Venmo and then they also have something you

26:45

could donate to you know, yeah, that's the move That's the move. Oh,

26:47

eight or pound who you did it. I did it. Yeah, they put

26:49

some money in at the end Like two-thirds

26:52

funded by me one-third funded by them, but

26:54

they're great to work with And

26:58

Your last one was Netflix, right? Netflix and 800 pound.

27:00

Yeah, they did it for they did it with me

27:02

And now is it on is it

27:05

so I get to move from Netflix to like just

27:07

on Netflix now The next one I'm doing is with

27:09

Hulu. I'm doing Hulu. Oh, I heard they're doing stuff.

27:11

Yeah I'm moving away from Netflix.

27:13

Yeah, no more I

27:16

think they just it's a lot over there and I feel like

27:18

maybe I want to try something new I love Hulu dude. I

27:20

have like my live TV set up. That's what I do. That

27:22

was part of my though I was literally like I like the

27:24

platform. I think it's great And that wasn't

27:26

the reason but it was like I

27:28

want to try something new a lot of people are trying

27:30

new You know, there's a good list of names of people

27:33

that are leaving going over. So Who

27:35

knows man? Hey, no, it's if you're looking for

27:37

anybody while Santino. Yeah, you lost me. You lost

27:39

me pick up the fatter sweat

27:42

of your Ginger I'm

27:44

here. No Louie already exists. He is the fatter

27:50

No, dude, you know he's rarely in LA from

27:52

what I know and if he ever is I've never bugged him

27:54

to be on the show Because yeah him and I don't really

27:56

know each other. So it's so funny It's like all the time

27:58

I've spent in New York and all the guys I

28:00

do know he's one of those guys I just don't

28:02

I just don't know but I know it's always

28:05

I don't I'm I don't really try to ingratiate myself

28:07

in situations where I just don't feel like I should

28:10

so if he's with people that I know I'm not

28:12

gonna go over there and be like hey I just

28:14

never do that yeah I mean I don't know I

28:16

got the seller table and that's about it and he's

28:18

been you know moving totally fine and quite nice to

28:20

each other but like is there any comic now like

28:22

I think he's probably like one of the best I'm

28:25

not the best right the best right now he's probably

28:27

the best probably the best of all time probably the

28:29

best of all he's probably the goat right but like

28:31

are there still are there anyone cuz I can't think

28:33

about this there anyone in comedy you would be nervous

28:35

around no still I don't think so no I mean

28:37

I think I don't think sports guy like there's maybe

28:39

just a couple people from like maybe like if I

28:41

saw Bruce Springsteen I'd be nervous Jordan I'd be no

28:44

Jordan would you would make you feel nervous yeah I

28:46

feel like you feel nervous yeah he'd be like nice

28:48

shoes you know I mean and then you'd look down

28:50

and immediately be like these are the worst shoes I've

28:52

ever worn in my entire life he

28:54

hates my shoes he's mocking it would not be

28:57

fun like you don't want to meet Michael Jordan

28:59

would be tough I think comedian

29:01

wise no I mean

29:03

I can't think of anybody actor that you've

29:06

been on no fuck no

29:08

fuck that now they're all fucking dorks

29:10

no I think a

29:13

dead comics I if Carlin would have scared the shit out

29:15

of me to me I would have been scared of that

29:17

I heard he was super nice but yeah but

29:19

that still would have intimidated the fuck I don't know he would

29:21

have been like you would have been scary prior

29:23

probably would have been scary yeah but outside

29:26

of those guys nobody alive would like freak me out no nobody

29:28

would freak me out well that's the good thing about the internet

29:30

of all the bad things they know not

29:32

to be a piece of shit to people now because

29:34

people can just say that you're a piece of shit

29:37

yeah they can I mean they can lie anyway but

29:39

yes they can it's it's it's it's very easy now

29:41

it's not like this you read that strip by that

29:43

book I killed the stories about Carson just yeah in

29:45

a complete piece of shit yeah shit you know you

29:48

can't go away with that anymore it is fucked up

29:50

to think that guy was a he was a kingmaker

29:53

and we kingmaker was so manipulative and

29:55

so fucking evil I mean according to some

29:57

of those stories You're

30:00

like holy shit. Didn't

30:02

he like used to come back to his wife and

30:04

be like, ah, fuck this girl in the office and

30:06

like make jokes about it? She's like crying in the

30:08

corner. He's not just almost ready. You

30:11

know? No, I think

30:13

it just became more apparent

30:15

that famous people couldn't be mean

30:19

and get away with it anymore. I think people were tired

30:22

of it so a lot of people piped up and were

30:24

like, I don't wanna feel like shit anymore just because you're

30:26

more famous than me. Right, yeah. I think that

30:28

changed a lot. Our young generation, when we were

30:30

young, the guys who were above us used to

30:32

bump us all the time and then now we're

30:34

the guys. I don't bump anybody. I

30:36

don't fucking walk in and bump. I

30:39

asked for spots. I'm not at bump

30:41

level yet. The only time I bump was if I go

30:43

into a shitty bar show and I'm like, can I go

30:45

first? That's where I go. Yeah, but that's not really bumping.

30:47

That's kinda like sliding up the line up because you need

30:49

to leave. That's just sliding up the line up and getting

30:51

out of there. But yeah, no, I mean, it's

30:54

so weird now because, and I noticed this,

30:56

I don't know if you noticed this, the

30:58

guys above us, above Quest, have become so

31:00

much nicer in the last. And

31:03

not just because, oh, they probably saw, okay,

31:05

these guys aren't just, they're

31:07

not just a flash and pan, they're in

31:09

it. Yeah, they're legit. They're in it. But

31:11

also because these new TikTok guys

31:13

and YouTube guys that just blew past almost everybody,

31:15

that they're like, oh, at least these two guys

31:18

are real comics. Right, and they've been around in

31:20

the shit. And they've been around in the shit.

31:22

I'm gonna be nice to them because this kid

31:24

has been doing it three months and selling out

31:26

fucking theaters. Well, yeah, I saw, I was talking

31:29

to somebody where I

31:31

just came in from out of town and I was talking

31:33

to the manager and he was like, yeah,

31:36

you probably won't recognize any of the names on the list

31:38

on that board because I was looking at who's coming next.

31:40

Yeah, it's a long TikTok. And I didn't know anybody. For

31:42

the first time in years, because I didn't-

31:44

It's so nice though when you're on a show with those guys

31:47

and you just like torch him. Just destroy it. Just torch him,

31:49

you know? Like I'm like, I know you guys are getting all

31:51

the bookings I should be getting, but I'm gonna make you fucking

31:53

work for it. I didn't recognize one name

31:55

and it was kind of a, I

31:58

don't know. It was like a- of like,

32:00

yeah, this is all changing in front of our face, so it

32:02

is what it is. Yeah, because they're a food and drink business.

32:04

People are like, oh, they should put more comics. I'm like, no,

32:07

they want to. Chicken wings. Yeah, they sell chicken

32:10

wings. They want their service to come home with

32:12

a couple hundred bucks. Right, they don't want just

32:14

comics who come in who are there for the

32:16

craft. That's not their shit. Yeah, they're

32:18

not gonna be like, you know, I made 200 or

32:20

less dollars, but this guy's really in it for the

32:22

right reason. Yeah, they don't give a fuck about that

32:24

yet. Did he push the drinks? Push

32:26

the drinks. That's what it is, is just push the

32:28

drinks. That's the one thing you'll see, whenever you go

32:30

to a club, the most soul

32:33

sucking thing is to read the host copy, where

32:35

it's like, make sure to plug the drinks here,

32:37

plug the drinks here, plug the drinks here. Well,

32:39

I've asked very politely, but

32:41

also somewhat of a demand that I was

32:43

like, you can't play a video before I go on stage, because I'm doing

32:45

like a little club run. And I was like, you

32:48

can't do a video before I go on stage, and I shotgun, I don't want

32:50

the host to go back up. And you know, no

32:52

one's had a problem with it, but also it's like, I want my

32:54

show the way I want my show. I

32:56

sold these tickets. I don't want them

32:58

to have to like, watch a video about who might be coming in

33:00

a month and a half, and then have a host go up and

33:02

sell all this dead. This time that

33:04

to me, the thing I love the

33:06

most about the store is we

33:09

shotgun. There is no host. You bring

33:11

up the next guy. Just play Rock and Roll play,

33:13

and when people come in and then start the show.

33:15

I don't know. Just start the show. Like the seller

33:17

still does host, you know, they still have someone come

33:19

back. I've always been a fan of bring up the

33:21

next comic. I don't know why, but I just like

33:23

it. If you've done the stress factory, they play America's

33:25

Funny Tone videos beforehand, and you're like, I'm not going

33:28

to beat fucking old guy. Getting kicked in the

33:30

nuts? Getting kicked in the nuts. Are you out of your

33:32

mind? Yeah, that stuff drives me nuts. That's

33:34

why I'm always like, please don't play the video. I don't, they

33:37

don't need to be distracted from a thing that they're going

33:39

to see by something else that doesn't exist here. It

33:41

doesn't exist here. It's almost like, do you want

33:43

to see, you know, it's like

33:45

before an NBA game, if they played a Globe

33:48

Trotters tape, you know, against the generals and you're

33:50

like, this is, why are you showing

33:53

them this? Or they're playing like, it's somebody like,

33:55

they're playing the best thing. It's like, Chris Kattan's

33:57

coming up, and they're playing like the, the mango

33:59

sketch. one everybody love. Yeah, all right.

34:02

They're not even going to fucking see that next week. You

34:04

know? Yeah, that's not going to be here. So stop showing

34:06

them that. That's not going to be here. Something very different

34:08

is going to be here. When you go on the road,

34:10

do you take somebody or no? I

34:13

have a couple of people that I take,

34:15

but I can't like, dude, I can't like,

34:17

dude, I'm still making like low tier headliner

34:19

money. Like, that's why I'm on here, baby.

34:21

Book me, baby. Book him,

34:24

baby. But like, you know, if I, I think I'd

34:26

be more comfortable, I could really take care of people

34:28

more. Yeah. I mean, but yeah,

34:30

it's like, you know, it's funny because I'll headline some

34:32

and then I've been open and I opened for Dan

34:34

sometimes. Dan Soder, great guy. I love that guy. Greatest

34:37

guy. But

34:40

yeah, it's, it's, I

34:43

do like bringing people, but I kind of want to,

34:45

I want to get to the point, you know, either

34:47

next year or where I'm getting, I'm getting paid enough

34:49

where I can fucking take care of the guy. I

34:51

feel that. You know, instead of just being like, Hey,

34:53

hopefully you live a feature pay and chicken wings, you

34:56

know, free food. Yeah. Hopefully

34:59

you don't lose money on this trip. You know, that was

35:01

the thing. I talked to Segura about that a while ago,

35:03

about how like when we started and we were doing hosts

35:05

or feature spots, the pay was the same as

35:07

it is now. Insane, dude. Which is comical.

35:10

You're like, it's the same money. Nothing changed. I heard

35:12

somebody who's like writing on something now and they're getting

35:14

the same day rate. And I was like, what did

35:16

we have the strike for? Dude, I posted

35:18

a picture the other day just for, as a bit on

35:20

my story that I got like a, I think

35:22

it was at midnight and it was a residual

35:24

and it was one cent. It was one cent.

35:26

Oh my God. And then I wrote underneath

35:28

it, I'm glad we had that strike

35:30

finally paid off. One cent

35:33

is just like, whoa, whoa. This is not worth

35:35

the, literally not worth the, the

35:37

paper is printed on. Yeah. It's

35:39

embarrassing. What

35:41

was that strike for? That's a, did we get

35:44

the thing? I'm not sure. I

35:46

think showrunners got richer. Well, you've been on, you've

35:48

been on, you've been in a bunch of writing rooms.

35:50

I mean, you've, you've made your way. Have

35:52

you ever done the writing room thing or did you? I've done

35:54

like the pop in and then get the fuck out of there.

35:56

Yeah. I mean, it's a lot of

35:58

fun to get paid. Get paid and leave. Like in the muck.

36:01

In the shit. No way. Yeah, I

36:03

mean. Ego's I'm sure. Ego's in those rooms. Like.

36:06

There's, well, you know, it's like comedy

36:09

dude and you can spot pretenders a mile away.

36:11

For sure. Like I've worked with guys

36:13

who are incredible. Like I worked with Dan

36:15

O'Shannon or like Jess Dweck on a late

36:17

night show. And they're like, you know, again,

36:19

it's like Jordan. They're just coming up. What

36:22

was, like, I've seen Dan O'Shannon come up with a

36:24

whole story like in front of me. Like, but

36:27

then I also have other guys that I've come with where I'm

36:29

like, you are terrible.

36:31

You like, you are good at

36:33

the interview. And you are

36:36

not fucking contributing a goddamn thing. It's

36:38

pretty impressive. When those people keep going

36:40

through, you're like, amazing. Oh

36:42

yeah, of course. These are people making money. I'll

36:44

tell you exactly who I'm talking about after this.

36:46

So you know never to hire them. You have

36:48

a show. Perfect, you're perfect. But yeah, there's, dude,

36:50

you can, you can pretend in a way you

36:53

can't. Cause even when stand up, it's like, you're

36:55

still like, okay, even if you suck, you're still

36:57

either drawing tickets or you're killing, you know, like

36:59

you're, there's some reason that you're up there. But

37:01

with a writer, you can kind of get away

37:03

with, Not doing

37:05

it. completely, yeah, completely.

37:07

Like, like I've known, I've known people who can't

37:10

turn, who can't turn in drafts, who can't write

37:12

a draft, who somehow get, you know, like a

37:14

producer. Who's who, but the show runners don't see

37:16

through that and they don't fire you or they

37:18

can't fire you. Well, it just

37:21

depends. Some guys have a little bit

37:23

of that. Have you ever seen or

37:25

seen the player, the movie Six Degrees

37:27

of Separation, with Will Smith, where

37:29

he's like a pretender in the art world and

37:31

he just knows, he knows how to talk to

37:33

all these, it's really good. He knows how to

37:35

talk to these people, but really he's like a

37:37

complete, you know, hustler. And, and there's a

37:39

lot of guys like that, you know? That

37:41

just have the gift. Now, and now there's less

37:44

jobs. So I think it happens less, but

37:46

it still happens. Do you, would you want

37:48

to be staffed on another thing again or no? If it

37:50

was a great show for sure. Yeah, but what's a great

37:52

show? Like

37:55

comedy wise, you know, you see something like,

37:58

you know, like, like righteous. Gemstones or

38:00

something. I just pulled that out

38:03

of my ass right now or like, you

38:05

know efforts for fam I'm just thinking of the good like

38:07

good ones just somebody just brought up as a family

38:09

But you know what I would you know, like I

38:12

mean like I'll take a job just for the money But

38:14

would I prefer that I mean the thing you the dream

38:16

is you want to be you know

38:18

The helming your own shit man. You want to be like

38:20

course your whole well, we're all kind of doing it We're

38:23

all trying it like that. I watched um Baby

38:26

reindeer. Did you watch that series? No, I hear

38:28

it's great. Wow, dude, and it's very guy disturbing.

38:31

It's dark Yeah, it's extremely dark and it's by

38:33

the guy who had the experience. Yeah. Yeah, and

38:35

it's just kind of It

38:38

it's it's so truly his

38:40

story that you're like, this

38:42

is unmistakable. You couldn't fabricate this It's

38:45

yeah, it's it feels so organic. That's

38:47

why I think people take to it

38:49

because It's not written

38:51

for somebody else's voice, you know, I mean gun

38:53

wrote all the peace peacemaker or whatever Yeah, which

38:55

was which is great. That was like the best

38:57

superhero thing I've ever seen but he wrote off

38:59

He didn't have a room for it. That's

39:01

fucking all eight episodes the balls to do that too.

39:04

It was great She's like I'll do it get out

39:06

of here. Yeah, but you had someone

39:08

crack story and then I'm sure helped I don't

39:10

think he did nothing. I don't think you did

39:12

see that kind of stuff. That's where I go

39:14

Oh, I'm not talented at

39:16

all when I hear that stuff. I'm like, oh never

39:18

mind He's like like one of the very best. Yeah

39:21

Yeah I mean, but you know what he'll have a

39:23

thing where he's like he's just made a bunch of

39:25

great shit and then I'll Have you know, he'll have

39:27

his black Adam He'll

39:30

do his Garfield movie and I'm so great dude,

39:32

it's like you they can't take this fucking thing

39:35

No, no way for the equalizer for sure. You know,

39:37

you can go back to it and the proof has

39:39

to be Your great on

39:41

Dave and like how many shows before that where

39:43

it was like? Oh all of them Yeah,

39:45

he's an I'm God and the reason that the reason you

39:47

were still in the convo is because of stand-up Yeah, cuz

39:50

they want you because they know that you have the work

39:52

ethic and the ability in the skill set It's

39:55

just sometimes it doesn't play out. Well, also like

39:57

everyone forgets about everybody. So they're like, oh Santino

39:59

is still doing Oh, it's doing a set up

40:01

the store. Oh, oh yeah, that guy's good. Yeah, you know

40:03

like and if you're an actor fuck Dude, I don't know

40:05

how well that that to me like

40:07

I yeah that I don't know how they stay alive

40:09

If you're just like an actor that that

40:11

just like gets once in a while gigs I never understood

40:13

that because they underpay people so much now.

40:16

I don't know how you could live on it You

40:18

literally couldn't at least we can always go do shows.

40:20

Yeah, you know you can always go do something Yeah,

40:23

I can't go do like a fucking a

40:26

spot an acting spot for the night They can't just

40:28

go like find a way to knowing with those shows.

40:30

Yeah, the worst Oh in LA

40:32

too like you go to Burbank. Yeah,

40:34

probably somebody's doing a scene from Streetcar

40:37

tonight You got to buy two

40:39

drinks to two Think

40:42

of a worse entertainment than actor

40:45

like paying to watch actors

40:47

do scenes all night. We kill myself I would

40:49

kill my well, it's happening right now somewhere somewhere

40:51

somewhere. They're doing it somewhere Somebody's

40:54

paying for a studio. Did you when

40:56

you were young? Did you ever like?

40:59

Plays, did you like the other was yeah my dad's a

41:01

playwright dude my dad Did that hey, but you hate it

41:04

a little bit because of that or no? No,

41:07

I did like it. I liked it more now. I haven't

41:09

seen a play in forever now like the last

41:12

God what was the last thing I saw the ferryman

41:15

which was on Broadway which every amazing? Yeah, this old

41:17

Irish play everybody fucking dies at the end. It's great

41:19

get out of town Such an

41:21

obvious you won't believe it the

41:23

Irish all died. I don't all die But I

41:25

gets like it's like the most Irish player ever

41:27

gonna say it's great But it's the most Irish

41:29

dark like funny and dark and it's but yeah

41:31

I still I mean and then I would get

41:33

sick of it. It's just a pet it's like

41:35

yeah There's a good and bad, you know. Yeah,

41:37

it does suck when you're in a shitty musical

41:40

and it's like three acts You've

41:43

never left I have yeah you

41:45

have to for sure I've left movies too. Oh, I've

41:47

left so many movies plenty of movies I don't know

41:49

why I've left so many movies lately more and more

41:51

now I've kept like I've you know what I left

41:54

I was in a mood where I was like Let's go see if I

41:56

can shoot him up like a fun John

41:58

wick the newest John wick And I

42:00

walked out within six minutes. I like I like John Wick,

42:02

but it was fucking like four hours didn't even get there

42:04

I just the first six minutes were so in so like

42:06

a little too much for some reason I was in a

42:09

mood and I was like, let's just go eat food and

42:11

then we left and went guys You and the wife? Yeah,

42:13

I was like fuck this. I was great I was like,

42:15

let's go see a fun shoot him up disappear in the

42:17

mind don't even have to think about it film It's like

42:19

a mindless in entertainment great thing about being in a comfortable

42:21

marriage. You can you don't have to do that like fake

42:23

like Let's go to the museum Sometimes

42:26

it bites you in the ass like as me and my wife

42:28

rock. Let's just stay up. We had Tickets

42:30

to see the killers and we're like, oh, let's

42:32

just stay. Let's just stay in you got over

42:34

that, huh? And then we wake up

42:37

the next morning I'm like Bruce Springsteen joins the

42:39

killers on fog and then you know, of course

42:41

the first person I talked to his aries Like why would

42:43

you do that? Why would you do that? The killer's the

42:45

greatest man ever? Oh my god You're at that for the

42:47

rest of your life, you know, I don't know about the

42:49

greatest man ever Ari, but yeah They're

42:52

a good bet. No, but I bailed on stuff Where

42:55

I think maybe it's just an age thing to your tired and

42:58

you're like, I don't feel like doing that shit I've done enough.

43:00

I'm just busy if you're busy. You just kind of get over

43:02

those like dude one time we went to go

43:04

see I Don't

43:06

know if you know the band the national if you

43:08

ever Yeah, I saw him here. So I so my

43:10

wife and I've been seeing them for years Yeah, they

43:13

used to they played a hotel cafe show little tiny

43:15

like, you know 80-seater with the first time We saw

43:18

them years ago and then they

43:20

opened for REM at

43:22

the Hollywood Bowl In

43:24

the next in ensuing year they oh they headlined

43:26

the bowl, which is awesome to see but they

43:28

were opening for REM And my wife hates REM

43:30

so fucking much that we paid really

43:32

good money good tickets just to see them And

43:35

then we left. Yeah, then we went we went to a restaurant got

43:37

something to eat I don't think you know,

43:39

I wouldn't be so much more excited to see the

43:41

national at REM Oh for sure, but the bummer was

43:43

you know, they'd have worse sound which always sucks about

43:45

openers because they're yeah They're figuring it out. Yeah, they

43:47

have they have the sound is not tuned in for

43:49

them yet And then the Sun was setting still so

43:51

it was like still kind of a weird glaring. Yeah,

43:54

it sucked And then when they were done, I was

43:56

like, well should we say for like one REM song?

43:58

She was like, no, she fucked I was like absolutely

44:00

not as like you gotta be in the traffic you gotta

44:02

get out of there Yeah, we wanted to get the fuck

44:05

out. Yeah, but I've done we've done the bailout on stuff

44:07

that I'm like We

44:09

should have gone Like we had I

44:11

had tickets to go to a

44:13

fucking Laker playoff game But we

44:15

were moving so we couldn't make it work and I thought we

44:17

should have just fucking gone to that They were like really good

44:20

seats. They were like almost on the floor Today

44:23

winter was they lost. Yeah, fuck. Yeah,

44:25

yeah Yeah,

44:27

that wasn't worth saying no not about those guys

44:29

that was like that that series is a wrap

44:31

So who do you who do you attach yourself

44:34

to sports wise New York Giants because I'm from

44:36

Rutherford, New Jersey, right? And the

44:38

basketball is a little weird because I used to be

44:40

a Nets fan when they were in Jersey But then

44:42

they moved to Brooklyn and I'm like, well, this isn't

44:44

my fucking team anymore, but you're not a Knicks guy

44:46

So I'm not no, I'm now I'm a Lakers guy.

44:48

I was like fuck it. You guys moved to fucking

44:50

Brooklyn I'm gonna go I'm gonna go across the country.

44:52

Yeah, I'm gonna go join the guys that move from

44:54

Minnesota I'll just yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna

44:56

do that. That is an interesting twist. Oh, who's your

44:58

team's again? It's all Chicago, you know, but it's hard

45:00

because we're you know, it's it's painful to even talk

45:02

about it all the time Cuz we're always we're

45:05

always like on the hopeful and then it was the last

45:07

time I guys won comes Well,

45:10

we won in 2016. Yes, that was huge. But I

45:12

mean prior to that it was a hundred fucking years

45:14

Yeah, well, I mean besides the Bulls just destroying greatest

45:16

team of all time But I mean, you know again,

45:18

we can't we can't seem to get right. Hopefully the

45:21

barrels will do something this year I mean I keep

45:23

talking about it like it's just so I mean if

45:25

you're a Chicago fan and you just saw that if

45:27

you were A Chicago Bulls fan from Chicago. I

45:30

mean the rest of your life as a

45:32

sports fan is it's so unrealistic after that I don't

45:34

mind that if the Bulls never get good in my

45:36

lifetime after what I already lived through as a kid

45:38

So if we had it again, I guess it's almost

45:40

the way that like well The Lakers

45:42

have been blessed with just an unbelievable dynasty

45:44

for so long. Yeah, they don't know what

45:47

shit is I mean they do but not

45:49

the way that so many other cities now

45:51

No, and they seem like they always figure

45:53

out a way to like rebuild well

45:55

quick because it's a great It's one of the best market

45:58

struggle. I think they're gonna struggle next couple years When Brown

46:00

is gone, it'll be a different world. But

46:02

also, the markets are always gonna win like

46:04

LA. People always wanna play in LA. It's

46:07

the fucking spot. Every athlete I know, in

46:09

their off-season, they play here. Are you friends with

46:12

any athletes? A pretty fair amount of athletes, oddly

46:14

enough. Yeah. A nice week, dude.

46:16

Retired too, which is also great, because they all like to

46:18

golf, and I'm a golfer. So I meet a million retired

46:20

athletes through golf, because they all wanna, that's all they wanna

46:22

do. Once they're done, they're

46:24

like, I don't wanna- You probably have some great Jordan stories you can't

46:26

talk about. I got a bunch of good stories that yeah, you're not

46:28

allowed to talk about. But it's

46:30

just great, because that's all they wanna do, because they've

46:33

spent their whole life in the gym and going to

46:35

practice. And when they're done, they're like, I wanna have

46:37

a drink, have a cigarette, or a cigar, and just

46:39

walk and golf. Do they get, like, when you're on

46:41

the golf course, they get really competitive with you? Or

46:45

no? Yeah, but there's only so many of them are

46:47

good at golf, because they're so good at something else.

46:49

Oh, you're very good, right? I'm pretty good, yeah. You're

46:51

pretty good. I'm not, it's anything special, but I'm better

46:53

than the average guy. But have you, like, okay,

46:56

have you played golf as somebody who was

46:58

like an insane, like, basketball or

47:00

football player, but you're better at golf? Oh, yeah. And you

47:02

can tell they're pissed off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's gotta

47:04

feel fun. I'll say it here. The last couple of times

47:06

I played Pat Mahomes, I beat Pat both times, so. That's

47:09

right, Pat. You know it,

47:12

baby. You beat Patrick Mahomes at

47:14

golf. Yeah, twice, yeah, twice, yeah. And

47:17

that guy, you can just tell he gets so pissed. Yeah.

47:19

You can tell, like, that guy can't enjoy playing fucking golf

47:21

with him. No, but he's a good buddy. He's awesome. Yeah,

47:23

yeah, yeah. He's so much fun. Like, he's a- He's going

47:26

forever, dude. But I did just

47:28

beat him by one the last time we played,

47:30

and he was livid about that. Did not like

47:32

that. By one, fucking drove him nuts. Like,

47:34

by, you know what I mean? Like, if I beat him by like four

47:37

strokes, five strokes, whatever, by one is such

47:39

a painful way to lose. Oh, that's great though.

47:41

That's like an athlete nightmare. You beat the fucking

47:43

Super Bowl MVP and an athletic

47:45

content. I know. That's the, golf is a great

47:47

equalizer. That's amazing, dude. Golf is the only thing

47:50

that you can be a world-class

47:52

athlete and someone, some schmuck, some couch

47:54

potato can beat you. The king. The

47:57

king. Like, if you, that's what I said.

47:59

If somebody's like, oh, There's one sport you could

48:01

be great at what would it be if I golf

48:03

course golf? Yeah, it's so fun I mean I can

48:05

do it until I'm 70. I'm not gonna get fucking

48:07

CTE, you know, like fuck it Amazing

48:10

although one dude that was one

48:12

dude who was playing in this

48:14

group near us I saw get hit in

48:16

the head with the ball and Go

48:18

down. Yeah, and you have a moment where you're like,

48:21

I could have been any of us That's so fucking

48:23

scary just a little rock hurtling through the

48:26

sky. Yeah, that's a bad idea I

48:28

mean I sometimes like for whatever reason I'm

48:30

a insert discover like it was a week

48:32

of people who got hit in the face

48:34

of like basketball That's

48:37

like a week of like amputees

48:40

spiders. Well, you're like what fucking

48:42

nightmare factory is happening What

48:45

did I say one night? What did I say one night?

48:47

That's what it really is It is here's you waking up

48:49

in the middle of the night talking to your wife about

48:51

a weird dream you had and it starts logging It

48:53

in that fucking thing What

48:55

do you what are you doing now? If you're

48:57

are you taking a break from stand-up or you're

49:00

touring heavy again? Oh, you're I can't take a

49:02

break, but you're just about to say well, do

49:04

you have a new hour already? I have I'm

49:06

fucking 30 minutes in Wow five minutes in I

49:08

mean, I got a you know, it's it's 25

49:10

minutes in I'll say so Like

49:12

it like hopefully I don't know when this is coming

49:14

out But like, you know, like 70%

49:16

will be new if you see me And

49:20

you do stuff from the special that's out or no, you don't

49:22

touch I try not like the last one I tried not to

49:24

and then I did like 10 minutes

49:26

from the special and the party minutes for people don't understand

49:28

how hard it is, man. It's hard, man I mean like

49:31

look there's some people I was fucking I remember I

49:33

was opening for Michelle wolf and She

49:36

was filming her special and she had two separate hours

49:38

that she was bouncing. I was like, that's Wow.

49:41

I cannot Fathom that you

49:43

know like but but I mean it's it's it's it's

49:45

cool when I get to like if I open for

49:47

soda Then it's like 20 minutes. So I have like,

49:49

all right. I have no excuse to do anything that's

49:51

ever been on TV You just have to kill for

49:53

20 minutes. I just have to kill for 20 minute

49:56

And if I if I do anything that was on TV, fuck

49:58

you. Yeah, like For I guess I might

50:01

kind of but yeah, man, it's hard to build up

50:03

new shit You know are you you see you're starting

50:05

to get you're starting to new I have I have

50:07

a I have Hour

50:10

that I'm presenting that is probably I'm

50:13

so close to it being carved out the way I

50:15

wanted to but it's great But I'm still removing stuff

50:17

and putting in new stuff and so you're pretty going

50:19

on this You're not really you're you're not you're more

50:21

trimming on this next door I'm just like learning how

50:24

to place and puzzle it the way that I want

50:26

to do it and then removing stuff that I've got

50:28

Sick of at this point because it's been six months

50:30

of it where I'm like I didn't even like that that much

50:32

That's got to go. Yeah. Yeah, I'm kind of cleaning off all

50:34

the fucking fat, but That's the

50:36

thing that sucks about being in a room though,

50:38

man. You have you have a hard time writing

50:40

stand-up Yeah, because you're using all that and that

50:43

mental energy. Yeah, that's tough That's the thing that

50:45

sucks and if you if you take something from

50:47

the room from those things you feel weird about

50:49

it When you're like, yeah, I have before because

50:51

like I'm like, oh this they're not using this

50:53

and this was my idea, you know but

50:57

Yeah, it's just you know, you love you only have so

50:59

much creative energy, dude Yeah, your brain runs out so like,

51:01

you know a couple out, you know, like I really think

51:03

we only have like at most Four

51:06

hours of creative energy a day where you can

51:08

come up with a lot. I feel like there's

51:10

a lot Yeah, that's the max like the rest

51:12

of it's just emails, you know, right? Right. Right.

51:14

It's just business It's business

51:17

correspondence. Yeah, it's a rest of your fucking day.

51:19

Yeah. Yeah for the rest of it It's like

51:21

making that's the studio thing we talked about I

51:23

wish we had a if we

51:25

had a comedian compound Like imagine

51:27

where you could just create for a week or two

51:29

straight without thinking about all the other bullshit and just

51:31

write with other People I bet you we put together

51:33

something fucking awesome If you just didn't have to think

51:35

about the outside thing, you

51:38

know the organization of life I've

51:40

wondered that like a bunch of

51:42

stand-ups together. It's it's hard cuz

51:44

we're all on our own like yeah But I

51:46

I work with them. I'm it's different because I've

51:49

wore I work with a lot of standups I

51:51

remember the last days but like if you took

51:53

the best like if you put ship like a

51:55

like a like Chappelle Louie

51:57

and you know, I'm trying to

52:00

They're burr burr in a room and they're like,

52:02

okay write a script together guys. You think it

52:04

would be good Yeah, you do. Yeah, I do.

52:06

I wonder I wonder if it would if they

52:08

would figure it out They would be pontificating in

52:11

the corner smoking a lot and just adding little

52:13

little beautiful droplets to it Yeah, I'm sure Louie

52:15

and Burr would be writing it back and forth

52:17

and back and forth right and then there would

52:20

probably yeah So

52:23

good, I think it's only

52:26

because a lot of those guys of That

52:29

generation like especially those guys are like I think

52:32

Arguably are in like our mental prime, you

52:34

know, like yeah performance-wise is whenever they feel

52:37

like Putting out the cool thing

52:39

is we're hitting I'm hitting 40 your your 40.

52:41

That's like when that's like our fucking This is

52:43

the cost. This is the twat way 20s as

52:45

a basketball player. Yeah, you know what I mean?

52:47

This is like supposed to be when we're when

52:49

you're humming really where you're humming. Yeah for

52:52

sure Okay. Yeah when you get in the

52:54

league and you first get in it's exciting

52:56

But then you realize how little you are

52:59

truly in The

53:02

machine until you get a little older than you're

53:04

like, all right. I thought that was it that

53:06

was not it That's not it that moved that

53:08

was when you're like living and dying by those

53:10

bits Right now you get a little more freedom

53:12

when it when if you heard someone had a

53:14

bit similar to yours You would lose your fucking

53:16

mind about it. Right? Right now you're like, you're

53:18

like, oh, what's their take? Right? That's exactly what

53:20

everyone's been done Simmons and I had a fucking

53:22

similar joke years ago And I remember

53:24

I went up to him and I was like fits because

53:27

we're good buddies and I said yeah I think we've

53:29

got something that kind of is near each other and

53:31

he goes really I go. Yeah, and he goes Who

53:34

does it better? And I was like Go

53:39

well yours is much more, you know

53:42

It's much more peeled out like mine's pretty

53:44

fresh and he goes I'll keep doing it then Fucking

53:48

dickhead Like all right. Well,

53:50

he has I love it Simmons. He told me this

53:52

one story where I Guess

53:54

like he came up with a bit and then there

53:56

was a much bigger comic I'm not gonna name who

53:58

came up with a simple bit was doing

54:00

it after Greg and he and

54:03

Greg's and Greg's and then Greg saw it and

54:05

he's like hey man I really

54:07

that's my bit that's my bit and the guy

54:09

goes mom fucking I'm doing on a special in

54:11

two weeks here I goes okay

54:13

next day he goes to the laugh factory

54:15

he tapes that bit put it online just

54:18

a spot it's like that

54:20

was great I mean Greg I saw me this

54:22

Greg is like doesn't take shit from I haven't seen

54:24

that guy in forever he's so funny he was like

54:26

the first half hour I loved where I watched

54:29

but he he should when I was on his

54:31

podcast he showed me this video when he was

54:33

on like the radio show where I guess like

54:36

this guy was one of his bosses was like

54:38

bullying the guy who's under Greg and you see

54:40

Greg just take his glasses off go up and

54:42

just pop the guy and the guy's towering

54:44

over yeah yeah like shit no he doesn't

54:47

give a fuck he's like the angriest funniest

54:49

Irish guy ever yeah he's perfect well he

54:51

he his response is exactly what I learned

54:54

when I when I see how

54:56

like young comics are with stuff I go oh that's the way to do

54:58

it just to be like is

55:01

yours good yet I mean I'm gonna keep doing if

55:03

we there is no theft there it's just like we

55:05

have a parallel there's only one time where I was

55:07

like that guy stole that bit for me because I

55:10

know because the premise and the punchline matched and when

55:12

I brought it up he was like oh I guess

55:14

we'll both keep doing it and I could tell in

55:16

his voice I was like bullshit you saw him I

55:19

know the show you saw me yeah LA downtown you

55:21

know exactly where it is exactly where it is and

55:23

ever since then I fucking can't well that was always

55:25

like a couple of older

55:27

guys they would bring around

55:30

guys to punch up their shit yeah

55:32

and then sometimes those guys would stay

55:34

after and watch other comics and

55:37

I would always be like get this kind of fuck out of

55:39

here right get him you right for that guy get the fuck

55:41

out of here yeah what are you doing here well they're

55:43

looking for influence 100% they're looking for

55:46

a crumb to come out of a comic

55:48

and then take it for something else you're

55:50

still at the thing where it's like you've

55:52

done like because your next stage is gonna

55:54

be like famous famous

55:56

or kill myself yeah yeah right but

55:58

then like once you get Famous vavis

56:00

the amount of bits that you can do it's

56:02

already it gets chopped by like 70 I

56:05

know right it goes that it turns into like I was you

56:07

know I was doing oh

56:09

my god It's crazy all those like you're

56:11

gonna refuel your private jet. Yeah, yeah, it's

56:13

like it was crazy I met this person

56:15

at the Oscars. It was crazy. You know

56:17

every bit is like it was crazy And

56:21

it's funny it does turn into that I feel like

56:23

I don't have that in me to go in In

56:25

buy into the drink the Kool-Aid that much because I've

56:28

been surrounded by it enough But it doesn't

56:30

really interest me in a way where I can see you

56:32

getting people getting lost in it right like I can see

56:34

guys Getting lost in

56:36

it. I like I I like that I can see

56:38

it But I don't know if that's a life that

56:40

I even would even be I don't want to go

56:42

near that If I can stay doing what I do

56:44

now for the rest of my career this feels fucking

56:46

great This is gay or the

56:48

perfect place cuz no one everyone likes you dad well.

56:51

Yeah, well they do know they hate me You're

56:54

not you're not oversaturated yet, right? Which

56:56

is what inevitably And then

56:58

if you do keep them saturated But

57:01

then you do the thing where like Kevin Hart does

57:03

where he just bypassed all the saturation not care and

57:05

then keep touring And then it is what it

57:07

is he was so oversaturated that he was

57:09

like I don't give a shit I'll just keep playing

57:11

arenas until you know something because I'm writing I'm writing

57:13

for Nikki Glaser for this Tom

57:15

Brady roast that's coming up. Oh, yeah, when is that?

57:17

I'm when is that that's their filming it this Sunday?

57:19

Don't know when this episode probably already out by the

57:21

time But uh come

57:23

on I was like looking at like Kevin Hart

57:26

like quotes and I'm like you're talking like you're

57:28

Steve Jobs like not even like your guy It's

57:31

like I'm a bad Empire. You know it's

57:33

like shit like that. What are you talking

57:35

about? Yeah, what are you talking like you

57:37

get it? You're very successful I think

57:39

because some people get so successful the

57:41

only way for them to justify how

57:43

crazy this is It's either become super

57:45

religious or or really

57:47

promote the world of Like

57:50

if you came super religious dude me yeah, I

57:52

might switch you like just fucking got it Yeah,

57:54

I would like Mel and show a boss Where

57:58

Opus day you have like this? It's carbon in

58:00

your ankle ankles. Yeah. Yeah, just like fucking just

58:03

angry it Did you we have that as a

58:05

kid where you religious as a kid? Do you

58:07

go to an opera? Presbyterian we went to church.

58:09

I like volunteered and we did Presbyterian. Yeah, which

58:12

is like, you know, it's Catholic light Yes Catholic

58:14

light, but I did a missionary trip. I like

58:16

went to Nicaragua to like

58:18

build houses which they didn't need us at all.

58:20

We did that we did was it called the

58:24

Go and serve that's what they call it going sir.

58:26

Do you still go to church now or no? No, dude

58:29

But I'm not I'm not against it. I'm not against

58:31

it. No, I think it's actually pretty rad if you find

58:33

what you need out Of it. I think so, too.

58:35

Yeah, I find what I need out of it still believing

58:37

that way a hundred percent I mean, I don't even

58:39

know what it is. No, he didn't do I but I

58:41

do think that I'm I think we're connected to something

58:43

a hundred percent I think if you've lived a little bit of

58:45

life and you get if you by the way if you get to 40 And

58:48

you don't think you're connected at all. I think

58:51

you're fucking you while you're dim If you

58:53

think there's no connection in her dimmer, you've had a

58:55

rough one. Well Arguably, some

58:57

people have the roughest ones. They find it

58:59

to be more obvious that that

59:01

were connected Yeah, that there's the

59:03

truth of it all to me is that you

59:05

have no control you have almost no control Absolutely,

59:08

no control. So that's kind of the beauty right

59:10

like if you've experienced that through sobriety, too You

59:13

do realize you're like, oh, this is fucking

59:15

way out of my hands. Yes, and I've

59:17

also experienced that on drugs Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

59:20

Yeah, I I do wish You

59:24

know the last time I went to church me my wife

59:26

went to a place in New York and like we're really

59:28

excited for it But then they started like talking about it

59:30

like internet porn and I was like, oh this at church

59:32

It's like what is that? You've got to stop what the

59:36

Pastors like you got to stop watching this internet porn and

59:38

I was like you have a problem with internet. Yeah, that's

59:40

your now You're projecting out on all of us. You're like,

59:42

I just want to work at that. Well, here's your New

59:44

Testament Come on do

59:46

me about tell me a story about a bush I

59:48

don't want to fucking hear about porno in the church that

59:51

is the new thing with church So they're trying to attract

59:53

young people so they have to stay on the cusp of

59:55

culture Yeah, that was kind of my when I went back

59:57

to church with my parents one time when I was probably

59:59

in my like late 20s I remember

1:00:01

the preachers or whatever whatever

1:00:04

they're called not pastors or whatever

1:00:06

yeah talking about like new-age shit and

1:00:08

I was like no dude be old-school

1:00:10

I don't need you to like know

1:00:12

what the word cap means I don't

1:00:15

need a preacher to be like no

1:00:17

cap shit lit I don't know I

1:00:19

don't need the language of that to

1:00:21

come through you find an Instagram account

1:00:23

preachers and sneakers no it's great it's

1:00:25

just like it's a modern it's just

1:00:27

it's just a guy preachers and sneakers

1:00:29

guy taking a picture of like a

1:00:31

modern teacher and they just list how

1:00:33

much money the guy found these guys

1:00:35

talking about like poverty you're spending like thousands of

1:00:38

dollars on their features and actual outfits you know

1:00:41

well that's the new that's the

1:00:43

new world you have to be a entertainer

1:00:46

and then a part of an enterprise I was

1:00:48

talking about that earlier about guys that are like

1:00:51

if you don't have if you don't have your

1:00:53

your wealth spread around to like a million different

1:00:55

places you're a fucking loser they're trying

1:00:57

to make people who just want to live feel bad

1:01:00

about just living yeah

1:01:02

do you could you ever see like if there's was

1:01:04

there one religion like a Scientology thing that you could

1:01:06

see yourself falling for but probably not

1:01:08

right now I'm not really I mean only because I

1:01:10

had Catholic when I was a kid and that one

1:01:13

was dark it was so dark dark you like my

1:01:15

mom when my grandmother

1:01:17

medieval when my mom got divorced from my

1:01:19

dad who was going to prison my grandmother

1:01:22

was like mad about it yeah my

1:01:25

grandmother was like shunning her for it like you don't get

1:01:27

divorced she's like he's a fucking drug addict in prison

1:01:29

I'm gonna get divorced but like the church

1:01:32

had inundated my my family so much that

1:01:34

my grandmother was like mad about it I mean

1:01:36

obviously she regretted that years later right but she

1:01:38

would chief it was like my mom was meant

1:01:40

to feel bad about trying to save her own

1:01:43

life because there's just been like her mom got

1:01:45

traumatized a hundred percent and there was trauma and

1:01:47

drama and trauma just gets laid down until one

1:01:49

generation goes all right can we fucking chill out

1:01:51

with all this chaos well they're in trouble yeah

1:01:53

I mean the Catholic Church is real I mean

1:01:55

the Catholic Church is like you think studios are

1:01:58

in trouble with sitcoms Church

1:02:00

is really in trouble. You know,

1:02:02

they need a new multicam hit on their

1:02:04

head. They need

1:02:06

a Chuck Lorre real quick, the Catholic Church.

1:02:10

The Big Bang Theory. Chuck Lorre needs to

1:02:12

do that for the Church, presented by the

1:02:15

Catholic Church. I heard

1:02:17

the craziest... Somebody told me to

1:02:19

work with Chuck Lorre. You heard the story about it? I

1:02:21

never met the guy. I haven't either. I don't know if

1:02:23

you want to work with him, so I don't know if

1:02:25

I... No, no, no. Tell the story. This is like the

1:02:28

darkest story. Apparently, he was on set at Mike and Molly,

1:02:30

and he was watching... Internet

1:02:32

porn? No, like it was a cadaver. It was like...

1:02:34

Because one of the characters was like a mortician. I

1:02:37

think the girl that was on East Bina Down or

1:02:39

whatever. And he goes, that

1:02:41

corpse looks just like my

1:02:43

mother. If me and my sister

1:02:46

still talked, I would take a picture, send

1:02:48

it to her, and it would make her

1:02:50

day. Oh my god. That's so dark. One

1:02:52

of the biggest comedy creators is like just

1:02:55

a haunted house. Inside,

1:02:57

you're like, don't open that room. Don't

1:02:59

open that room. That's so wild to

1:03:02

think. It is weird. I talked to someone else about

1:03:04

that, about people they don't talk to in their family

1:03:06

anymore. A good friend of mine, him and his sister

1:03:08

don't speak. And I'm like, how long

1:03:10

does that game go on? You don't talk at all? We're

1:03:12

not talking right now. We're in a bad spot. But

1:03:16

is there light in the end of the tunnel? Maybe. Maybe. Or

1:03:19

does this feel like a fuck you forever thing? Maybe.

1:03:22

I don't know. It's in the middle. I hope

1:03:24

it's not. I mean, here's

1:03:27

the thing is I'm not going to get into it

1:03:29

because she doesn't have a platform to like- Defend herself.

1:03:31

Defend herself? So that's not fair. But

1:03:33

who knows, man? I mean, it happens when you get

1:03:35

older. You start having schisms and shit. Do you have

1:03:37

that within your family? For

1:03:39

me, it's a personal issue.

1:03:42

My lack of patience is awfully tough. So

1:03:44

sometimes my

1:03:47

parents don't- They're such good people

1:03:49

and they just don't understand this thing sometimes.

1:03:51

So when I try to explain some of

1:03:53

the shortcomings of this or the troubles that

1:03:55

I'm having, it almost sounds like, well, your

1:03:57

problems aren't real. It's like you're a

1:03:59

fucking- Right you go to prison you live in

1:04:01

fantasy town. You know I mean yeah, so

1:04:04

that always creates a little bit of Annoyance

1:04:06

on my behalf, but it's also because I don't have the

1:04:08

patience to I'm not I can't I'm

1:04:10

never gonna be able to teach You how to ski do you

1:04:12

know I mean yeah, I have zero fucking patience My

1:04:15

whole life. I've always been like you just don't

1:04:17

like was there anything that you that you've done

1:04:19

that your parents are like oh shit Well, they've

1:04:21

been proud, but it's also like they're it's just

1:04:23

this doesn't mean it doesn't it doesn't mean anything

1:04:25

to them This is like they're happy that I'm

1:04:27

happy They just want me to be happy, but

1:04:29

this thing is very disconnected my family's fucking all

1:04:31

from Chicago they Saw this

1:04:34

world is weird. It's a fucking it makes

1:04:36

no sense And

1:04:38

my dad was in this but yeah for the

1:04:40

most part It's like your family has a connection

1:04:42

to the family no It's like it I couldn't

1:04:44

imagine I mean I think it's

1:04:46

so ballsy to do what you what you and other guys

1:04:49

have done where It's like it wasn't in your family, and

1:04:51

you're like. I'm just gonna try this shit Yeah, it was

1:04:53

very stupid if I'm being honest probably the dumbest thing I've

1:04:55

done, but it all right. Yeah But

1:04:57

it also figures trust me. I can give you a list of

1:05:00

people who was stupid but But

1:05:02

the hard thing is I

1:05:05

guess yeah explaining this to people who

1:05:07

kind of think it's kind of bullshit It's bullshit

1:05:09

like yeah like my grandmother said before she

1:05:12

passed away. This is one of my favorite

1:05:14

things I had like done television. I'd been

1:05:16

on and my grandmother said to my mom

1:05:18

one time How is Andrew doing in California?

1:05:20

And she's like great and she goes?

1:05:23

Do you when do you think he's gonna be able to get a job and

1:05:26

she's like good Do you mean like a note like another TV

1:05:28

thing and she's like no, but at some point you'll have to get

1:05:30

a real job You

1:05:32

know I mean I like this one. I was

1:05:34

like making money doing TV Yeah, my mom my

1:05:37

mom my dad is very supportive of my mom

1:05:39

did not fucking she was like not good at

1:05:41

shit Yeah, she would not impressed by anything like

1:05:43

I would be like I Remember

1:05:46

you know like big things would happen I

1:05:48

wrote for like the White House correspondent and

1:05:50

Michelle Wolf or like we basically burned easy

1:05:52

down. Yeah, that's great And my wife yeah,

1:05:54

it was really fun my wife. Jesus.

1:05:56

It was a horrible 40-slip and my mom was just kind

1:05:58

of like Yeah, why was

1:06:01

she, I don't know. Why

1:06:04

was she so mean? Didn't realize the

1:06:06

gravity of, I'm like, this is like

1:06:08

the White House, everyone's gonna remember this

1:06:10

forever. This is the biggest White House.

1:06:12

That's the purpose of it. She's like, why was

1:06:15

she mean? And you're just like, but that was,

1:06:17

my mom also was very insecure, so she would.

1:06:19

But those things, that's kind of the

1:06:21

same comment when someone goes, you know who I like? And

1:06:23

you're like, I don't fucking wanna hear it. Right, but I

1:06:26

was in rehab. I got out of

1:06:28

rehab in December, second time. And

1:06:31

I showed my special to them, because they

1:06:34

were asking, and they found out I was a

1:06:36

comic, and they were like, oh, you did this?

1:06:38

You did Conan? Or not Conan, like Comedy Central,

1:06:40

whatever was big for them. And then, so they

1:06:42

wanted to see the special. Did okay for them,

1:06:44

like it got last, but then like right afterwards,

1:06:46

somebody's like, dude, have you seen Matt Rife? Yeah,

1:06:49

like, they were all Matt Rife, man. You left another

1:06:51

two weeks in rehab, you're like, I need to stick

1:06:53

around. Yeah, I was like, I went around relapse, and

1:06:56

I came back, what was my trigger? Hearing you guys

1:06:58

talk about fucking how more successful Matt Rife is. And

1:07:01

it's funny to think a guy would say that, because I

1:07:03

know his audience is mostly women. Dude,

1:07:05

he's not just mostly, I guess

1:07:07

he's making money on top of money. Oh yeah, I

1:07:09

mean, he's selling out arenas. Yeah, when I was there,

1:07:11

the young kids, it was in rehab,

1:07:14

it was him, Schultz, and then Shane, who

1:07:16

was terrific. Shane, yeah, he's the best. Shane's

1:07:18

like the best. What was your drug of

1:07:20

choice, by the way? Who's

1:07:23

the coke, but I was also addicted to pills. Pills

1:07:25

are the worst. Those are the three. Pills

1:07:27

will fuck you up the most. And those

1:07:29

are my friend who kicked heroin, said kicking

1:07:32

Xanax was way worse than, kicking, when I

1:07:34

kicked Xanax, I went to a detox, and

1:07:37

it was the most physical pain I've ever gone

1:07:39

through, like that next week. Really? Like I thought,

1:07:41

it was right when COVID was starting. We just

1:07:43

heard inklings of COVID, and I thought that I

1:07:45

was getting COVID and dying, because my chest felt

1:07:47

like it was caving in. But

1:07:49

that was just, that was just, and

1:07:52

that's the only one that, now, probably the only

1:07:54

ones you can die from. You can kick heroin,

1:07:56

you're not gonna die. But Benzos, booze, you

1:07:58

could die. Just from the

1:08:01

withdrawal. Yes, you have to you have to taper

1:08:03

off. You have to taper off fucking crazy Xanax

1:08:05

how many were you taking? Uh, I

1:08:08

was taking like six a day. That's a fucking lot

1:08:10

Yeah, it was a lot but I know some people

1:08:12

were I taking twice that well, it's never a competition

1:08:14

That is always so funny about when you hear an

1:08:16

addict someone that's like, yeah I think I heard a

1:08:18

Dak Shepherd thing where he's like I drank six bottles

1:08:20

of this and then there is some sort of big

1:08:22

fish Theory that happens with addicts where you're like, you

1:08:24

can't believe how many pills I had It's like I

1:08:27

kind of don't if I'm being honest because these

1:08:29

stories are fucking absurd Yeah, like

1:08:31

48 Danny bars a day and

1:08:33

you're like you and also Dak Shepherd. Come on

1:08:37

But when Kurt Angle tells me he was having like 40 pills

1:08:39

to first broken neck I'm like, all right.

1:08:41

I believe that right those things kind of

1:08:43

line up Yeah, everyone that wrestled in the

1:08:45

90s. Oh my god Everyone that wrestled night

1:08:48

the fact that anybody lived through that is

1:08:50

fucking absurd. They're all they were

1:08:52

all addicted to everything They could it wasn't like

1:08:54

a pick and choose. It was like you had

1:08:56

to take everything. That's the only reason you keep

1:08:58

functioning Yeah, I mean like multiple times wrestlers

1:09:00

would be like, what is it goes? Let's

1:09:02

see. Well, that's so dark I

1:09:06

found a pill That

1:09:09

should always scares that I knew

1:09:12

guys in college I used to party with would take anything

1:09:14

We do you ever have a thing or you've been? Okay,

1:09:16

booze is always been my Had

1:09:18

like a we've probably had moments where

1:09:20

you're like, I think this is too much right now,

1:09:22

but booze Yeah, yeah drugs No, I smoked weed for

1:09:24

like 20 years of my life and I still like

1:09:26

to smoke a joint once in a while But yeah,

1:09:29

that was I smoked that I was a

1:09:31

fucking pothead for so long and then yeah I

1:09:33

think when I got here to LA

1:09:36

a I couldn't afford it. Yeah anymore and

1:09:39

be I didn't I was I Was

1:09:42

too focused on trying to get up that I was

1:09:44

like if I keep smoking pot, man I'm never gonna

1:09:46

go get up. Do the yeah, but we didn't city

1:09:48

because I was I was addicted to that for a

1:09:50

couple You know, I mean addicted is a hard term

1:09:53

because you physically can't get addicted But like I was

1:09:55

smoking weed constantly, you know Today

1:09:57

and then having like a hundred milligram edible to get a

1:09:59

bad You know what I mean? And you're like it

1:10:02

gets the point where it's not like you're like

1:10:04

under the covers being like I'm scared Like

1:10:06

this is fun. Yeah. No, you're 36.

1:10:08

I hate that. I hate that feeling

1:10:11

of like I'm so high

1:10:13

my brain is giving up where it's like I don't

1:10:15

want to do this anymore. You go Yeah,

1:10:17

you go in the corner. Yeah, you can't

1:10:19

you can't like finish a documentary. I guess too

1:10:21

much for you It's too heavy too much story.

1:10:23

Yeah, so much story going on. I was watching

1:10:25

a Bravo show with my wife High

1:10:28

and I was like I can't it's like Vanderpump rules.

1:10:30

I'm like, this is too much for me Why

1:10:33

is she mad at her why is she mad at

1:10:35

her? Well, listen, dude, I

1:10:37

appreciate you coming on. Thanks for having me on

1:10:39

man. Everyone go watch this special It's available right

1:10:42

now on YouTube. Yes, dance fatty dance. It's on

1:10:44

YouTube. It's free. And if you like wrestling I

1:10:46

have a Wrestling podcast working stiff.

1:10:48

So check that out. Go check those out. The links

1:10:50

will be in the description down below We end the

1:10:52

show the same way. Look at that camera right there

1:10:54

You do one word or one phrase to end the

1:10:56

episode and it will be cemented in history One

1:10:59

word or one phrase whenever you're ready We're

1:11:02

always glad you came You