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1:58

me date

2:01

me please tell

2:03

me why Hey,

2:11

welcome to another episode of Hawaiian Tree Gate.

2:13

A podcast where me and my co-bears are trying

2:16

to figure out why I'm so single. Even

2:18

though you could bring me to

2:20

the Florida Keys and say hey

2:22

bitch you gotta swim back to

2:24

shore my guest today

2:27

is a makeup artist and

2:29

a Milf. She is

2:31

one of the stars from the

2:33

hit reality show Milf Manor. This

2:35

season she's navigating the wild twist

2:37

of dating both younger men and

2:40

their dads at the same time

2:42

I watched all of season one

2:44

I just started season two and

2:46

I'm so excited to talk to

2:49

Crystal Jennings.

2:52

Hi, hi, hi, hi. How are

2:54

you? I'm doing great. How are

2:56

you? I'm good. I'm thriving.

2:58

It's a lovely day in LA. Where

3:00

do you live? You live in North

3:03

Carolina? Yeah, I'm in Charlotte. Oh, okay.

3:05

That's not where you grew up though,

3:07

right? No, I grew up in St.

3:09

Louis, Missouri. Okay. How,

3:12

okay. So did you watch the first

3:14

season of Milf Manor and you were

3:16

like, I gotta get on this show.

3:18

No, it's funny. I didn't. I didn't

3:20

know anything about it. Because

3:22

I'm not a reality show watcher.

3:25

I used to watch like, Atlanta

3:29

Housewives, Love and Hip Hop. That

3:31

was way back when New York

3:33

was on it. Okay. So the

3:36

way that they found me,

3:38

there's a page called Fly Ageless and

3:41

I had put it on a Facebook

3:44

version of it because it's on

3:46

Facebook and it's on Instagram. I put a

3:49

picture up there, just a regular picture and they

3:51

reached out to me that way. Someone producer found

3:53

it and was like, hey, I think

3:55

you'll be a great fit. And I

3:57

was like, is this real? You know?

4:01

You know, and then y'all started getting

4:03

real after that because I started getting

4:05

all of these emails about what I

4:07

had to do and I was like,

4:09

yeah, this is real. So what

4:11

was it like when you met all the

4:14

other women? Were you initially like,

4:16

I'm not feeling a lot of you or you're

4:19

like, oh, we're going to be friends. Well, I

4:21

didn't know what to expect when I walked in

4:23

the house because everything was a surprise to

4:25

me. You know, I was

4:27

told it was going to be this, but then it was

4:29

bad. And I was like, oh, Lord, what am

4:31

I into? You know, and well,

4:34

when I met the women out

4:36

on the deck, I thought they

4:38

were beautiful. I thought they were nice.

4:40

They were like very welcoming, you know,

4:42

and they were just really, really sweet.

4:44

Okay. And then the gentleman were you like,

4:46

so had you dated, you might have covered

4:49

this on the show. I'm

4:51

only on the first episode. So are

4:53

you a person who dates younger? Your

4:56

age, what do you date? I

4:59

usually date my age,

5:02

maybe a little

5:04

younger, a little older, but nothing

5:06

more like more than six years.

5:09

Okay. You know,

5:11

so, um, but I have dated

5:14

guys that have been way younger

5:16

than me before, but it

5:19

was just for play. I

5:21

was just standing around and

5:23

feeling myself, you know, but

5:25

nothing serious. I

5:27

would say back when I was 30, cause I'm 48 now,

5:29

I did date a 21 year old man. And

5:34

we were almost the embarrassed

5:36

because we, um, we were very

5:38

serious. We lived together for about

5:41

three years. Um,

5:43

and it didn't work out because he wanted kids and

5:45

I already had kids and I didn't want any

5:48

more kids. So we kind of went separate ways. That

5:51

makes sense. Cause it's like, it is a younger guy.

5:53

It's like, he might want kids and he's like, already

5:55

been there and done that. No, thank you. Right. Right.

6:00

was like a nine year difference.

6:08

And it was a little bit overwhelming

6:11

sometimes because he dressed differently.

6:14

I'm more conservative. He

6:16

was more urban. He

6:20

liked to make beats. He had

6:22

a little rap group going on, you know?

6:24

And I'm just like, oh, boom. A

6:27

little rap group. You know,

6:29

overall he was mature. I

6:32

think that's what attracted me was mature. And

6:35

I think that when you have

6:37

a younger man that is dating an older

6:39

woman and they feel like they have to

6:41

really bring it because they're

6:43

trying to impress you. They already know that

6:45

you don't have to be with them. You

6:47

could be with someone older. So

6:49

they feel like, you know, I got this

6:51

fine woman and she's older and you

6:54

know, I got to really, you know, show

6:56

her I'm responsible. So he was paying

6:58

bills. He was bringing a check home. He was

7:00

doing it all, you know? Okay,

7:03

that's nice. And the sex is good. The

7:05

sex is good. Okay,

7:08

okay, that's important. Gotta have

7:10

the stamina. And yeah,

7:12

he had that. So in

7:14

the first season, the twist was, it was

7:17

their own sons. How do

7:19

you think you would fair with that? It

7:21

was wild. Cause like I said, I had never saw

7:23

the show. When I heard

7:25

about it, I was like,

7:27

what? You know,

7:29

and that would have been weird for me.

7:32

I don't think I would have been able to do that. Fair.

7:36

But the twist this season is also very fun. It's

7:38

younger men and then their father

7:40

is also competing. How

7:43

did you feel when that was revealed at the end

7:45

of episode one? I was so

7:48

happy. I was ecstatic. Because

7:51

I didn't know. I didn't know. I

7:53

said, you know, everything was a secret.

7:56

So when I got there, I was thinking like, oh,

7:58

it's going to be just a day. show

8:00

we might have some eliminations there's

8:02

gonna be some competitions like

8:05

whether you normally see it then

8:07

it was like okay welcome to Mills

8:10

Manor and I'm like what and

8:13

then I see these guys get off

8:15

the boat and they're younger than my kids

8:17

like my own 33 so these guys

8:19

were like 21 23 G 25 and I like oh no I gotta

8:27

three weeks look at this so

8:29

I really I

8:32

really was feeling it I went

8:34

feeling it I know I

8:36

was sweating fair I get that

8:38

that is kind of wild to be like this

8:40

man is younger than my son if

8:43

I bring this man home this man is

8:45

just a different reference

8:47

point for everything with my kids

8:49

and me yeah and that's

8:51

the thing about it it's that when I raised

8:54

three sons you can all

8:56

and I already know what

8:59

to what we go through you know

9:01

they already are a little bit less

9:04

mature than women you know

9:06

by focusing yours and eaters

9:08

mentally and I've raised

9:11

my kids I raised you know

9:13

boys to be men and so I'm like I I

9:17

would be starting all over it's trying to date

9:19

because man is fine 21 or 25 I just

9:21

wasn't having it no

9:24

I get it also when you said

9:26

boys to men all I can think

9:28

of is I'll make love to you

9:30

like you've all made to right did

9:35

you think the do

9:38

you think like the younger guys behavior changed

9:40

when their fathers got there do you think

9:42

they like like matured a

9:45

little bit or started showboating or how

9:47

do you think they they changed it

9:50

was a combination of all that you know

9:52

some of them were embarrassed they

9:55

were like oh my god I got a day you you

9:58

know a woman in front of my father.

10:00

I've got to compete with

10:03

my father. And then some of

10:05

the guys were, you know, competitive. Like,

10:07

you know, I'm the

10:10

one that she's going to choose because I'm

10:12

younger and I got the strong over back

10:14

and you're old. So you had a

10:16

combination of all different types of feelings. Yeah. What

10:20

was it like trying to date

10:22

on camera? Was that like an adjustment? Did

10:24

you ever find yourself just staring into the

10:26

lens of the camera? No,

10:29

I got used to it after a while

10:31

because there were cameras everywhere. Like we had

10:33

cameras everywhere except

10:35

the bathrooms. Okay.

10:38

There was a camera on me in the

10:40

bedroom as I slept. There were they

10:42

were hundreds of

10:45

camera guys out there, drones, everything.

10:48

After maybe like the first couple

10:50

of days, I think you just

10:52

get used to it. You just

10:54

get used to it. And I'm so real

10:56

and organic. It's

10:58

like, okay, it is what it

11:01

is. I'm just going to be my normal self,

11:03

you know? So I didn't feel

11:05

like I had to put on for the camera. I was

11:07

just being normal. But did you

11:09

feel awkward at all? Like if

11:11

you were talking to somebody and you were

11:13

like feeling them or whatever, and then you're

11:15

like, Oh yeah, there's a camera on me

11:17

and it's going to be broadcast later that I'm

11:20

like kissing somebody. No,

11:22

I didn't feel awkward. I didn't feel awkward

11:24

at all. Okay. I like

11:26

that. I think that's really incredible. I

11:28

feel like a lot of other people

11:31

would just have, you know, a different

11:33

reaction being like, Oh, I, because I

11:35

host this like baking competition show and

11:38

sometimes the cameras would be on them. And I'd

11:40

be like, you have to talk. I'm asking you

11:42

a question. Like I know there's cameras and I

11:44

know you're a little nervous, but like, you got

11:46

to do it. And they would the game. Well,

11:49

you know, in my past professions I did

11:52

public speaking. So I'm just

11:54

nervous at first, but then you

11:56

warm up to it and then it's, it's, you

11:59

know, it's easy. for you. But

12:01

you know, without giving away too much,

12:04

I wasn't really worried about it because

12:06

I knew what I was doing.

12:09

Okay. I already had

12:11

planned that I wasn't going

12:13

to do anything that was going that I

12:16

was going to regret later.

12:18

Um, you know, and so

12:20

with what you've seen

12:23

on the episodes, especially episode two,

12:26

the bar scene, that

12:28

was genuine. That was me. You know,

12:30

I'm a very chill little person. Um,

12:33

but if you push my level, I'm

12:36

going to go into a fight with

12:38

Barbie, right? Yes. Okay.

12:40

Are you friends with any of the

12:43

milfs after this or no? I'm

12:45

friends with everybody except you. Oh,

12:49

okay. As I can know. Um,

12:52

also, the first challenge is pretty wild. You

12:54

had to scrape maple, like poor maple syrup

12:56

on the bodies of these gentlemen and then

12:59

scrape it off to fill a jar. Did

13:01

you have a strategy going in or

13:04

were you like, I don't

13:06

know, I'll just do this. Now we

13:08

just did it. I think the

13:10

other couple, the other couples had strategies

13:12

because I heard some stuff, you know,

13:14

I have people doing it. But, um,

13:17

me and Chris, we were a great team together.

13:19

Um, we, I thought we

13:21

barely won, but we had like a

13:24

it's more than one of the

13:26

other couples. So yeah, but we just did what we

13:28

could do and just

13:31

went as fast as we could. And then

13:33

we, and we won. That's so funny. That's

13:35

like, how do you prep for something like that?

13:37

Like if someone was like, all right, scrape a

13:39

syrup off someone. I'd be like, what? That's

13:42

something I've never fucking done. I have no

13:44

idea how I'm supposed to do that. Right.

13:47

I mean, the

13:49

challenge was like, you know, when

13:52

they said we had to do this, I

13:54

was like that. I was like, you got

13:56

to be kidding me. Like, are you serious?

13:58

You know, I'm already

14:00

out here in a bathing suit and then I got here,

14:02

you know, and then I was prompted

14:07

to lick them. Oh, uh-huh. Now

14:09

I was like, you really want me to do this? Okay.

14:13

So you asked me to do something, I'm gonna do it.

14:15

I did it. I did it. And

14:18

it was crazy because they put that part

14:21

as a thumbnail on the TOCG Instagram

14:23

page. Of course they did. Yeah,

14:26

you saw this long time. It

14:30

makes me feel like I'm the dancing one, you know. That's

14:36

so fun. Did you have fun? Wait, where

14:38

was it filmed? We

14:40

were in Toronto, Canada. Okay.

14:43

And in this beautiful mansion

14:45

on the lake. We

14:47

were in the backyard. A lot

14:49

of our challenges took place out there. So yeah,

14:52

it was nice. Season one

14:55

was like a resort in Mexico or

14:57

something. Do you feel like you would

14:59

have had more fun at like a

15:01

resort or like something tropical? I

15:05

think so. I think it probably would

15:07

have been wild there just because of

15:09

the setting. I

15:11

wish it would have been in Mexico because when

15:14

I saw the season one, it was like gorgeous

15:16

at my back. We couldn't tell. I

15:18

wanted to go to an island. But

15:21

you know, you're speaking about sexy

15:23

island palm trees. Oh, shit. You

15:25

got all the, you know,

15:27

it's romantic and then you got us in the backyard

15:29

with a lake. You think

15:32

it's big or family oriented, but you

15:34

are. Yeah. So

15:37

the setting definitely played a factor.

15:40

Yeah, maybe they were trying to go for a more

15:42

wholesome look, but then also it's like, but you're dating

15:44

young men and then their dads. I don't know what's

15:46

wholesome about that. You

15:49

said you were in public speaking. How did you get

15:51

into that? And what kind of public speaking are

15:53

you into? Well, when

15:55

I have them public speaking, I used to

15:57

work for different universities.

16:01

And so I was in finance.

16:03

And so a lot

16:05

of times I had to speak to

16:07

the students about like financial aid and

16:09

grants and scholarships and, you know, orientations,

16:11

basically, you know, they would come in

16:13

with the families and that's the most

16:16

important thing. How much am I paying?

16:18

What can I get? So

16:20

I had to speak in front of like a

16:22

room with maybe 100 to 200 people. But

16:26

it flows when you know what you're talking about. If you

16:28

don't know what you're talking about, then yeah, it's hard.

16:32

It's a little hard because you're just floundering and you're

16:34

like, I don't this, this. So

16:37

you were a celebrity makeup artist. Do you still do that

16:39

or no? Yeah, that's

16:42

what I do full time. Oh,

16:44

that's exciting. Who's like, who's the

16:46

most fun person to do makeup for?

16:49

Well, I was Pantasia's makeup artist up until

16:51

the last time she had her last daughter.

16:56

Here, I would say

16:58

the one I had the most fun

17:00

with and who was the sweetest was Tiny Tia's

17:02

wife. Oh, that's

17:05

I love that. Yeah, I've done

17:07

Tamar Braxton. Okay. See,

17:11

yeah, she was cool. She was cool. But

17:14

Tiny was the coolest. What do

17:16

her eyes look like close up because she had

17:18

been changed to gray. They're

17:21

great. That's wild. That's

17:24

so wild. They kind

17:26

of give you like a

17:28

husky, a stock, ice

17:31

blue. God, that's so fun. So

17:34

did you go into Milf Manor with

17:36

the thought, I'm going to walk out

17:38

of here with a partner or

17:41

did you think I'm just going to go in and have a little

17:43

bit of fun? I

17:47

knew I was going to go in and have a little fun. I'm

17:51

very adventurous. I'm a Leo. So you

17:53

know, you know, anything about Leo is

17:55

we do whatever we want to do.

17:57

And we're very adventurous and we're very

17:59

spontaneous. So I knew I was going to

18:01

have fun, but the part of about

18:04

me thinking that I was going to leave

18:06

with someone, I didn't

18:08

feel like that. I felt like I was

18:10

in hope that I could. You

18:14

know, because I

18:16

was single and not having

18:18

very much luck in dating. And I

18:21

don't think a lot of

18:23

those women are having luck because I get to

18:25

try out here. Man, it

18:27

is a drought. So you know,

18:29

by me doing makeup for different women, they sit

18:31

in my chair. And of course I'm

18:33

the therapist, you know, quote

18:36

unquote, everybody's having

18:38

bad luck. And I was one

18:40

of those people, you know, you

18:43

really can't meet them out in public anymore. Men

18:45

are not even approaching, you

18:47

know, you go out to a bar or

18:49

club, you got a gang of men over

18:51

here, a gang of women over there, nobody's

18:53

singling by on drinks,

18:55

dancing. And I

18:57

come from the era where the nineties, you

18:59

know, when I was younger, we danced and

19:02

we, we, you come from the Frick Nick

19:04

era where you also let's

19:07

go to one location and have a nice

19:09

time. Yeah. You knock out from the air

19:11

and that men were approaching

19:13

women at that point, but now something

19:15

changed. And so I thought, well,

19:18

I've tried this and I'm trying to then I've

19:20

tried online. This

19:22

is definitely a different way to do it.

19:25

So why not? And you know, if

19:27

I do, who I do, if I don't, I don't.

19:30

So you've tried apps. I have in

19:32

the past. Yeah. Which apps were you

19:34

on? Girl, back in the early

19:37

2000s, it was black people meet. Don't

19:39

you remember that? Okay. I

19:41

do. And I also remember black planet. Do

19:45

you remember that? I remember black planet,

19:47

but I wasn't on that. I think I checked

19:49

it out, but it really wasn't doing anything for

19:51

me. Black people meet.

19:53

I was on there for maybe two, three years,

19:57

you know, and I was

19:59

weirdo. everybody just had

20:01

issues. I don't want to

20:03

be on here cuz you came in a regular

20:05

person in person. I mean you just oh so

20:08

black people meet but now me and

20:12

approach you on Facebook and Instagram you

20:14

you have to have the apps anymore

20:16

and you know cuz they coming in the

20:18

DM. See that's nice I don't

20:21

really have nobody in my DMs which makes

20:23

me sad. Wait what was the age range

20:25

you would put on the app? Did

20:27

you go younger or did you just go with your age?

20:30

I always say no not

20:33

young but the youngest I would

20:35

go would maybe be like 40 and

20:38

the oldest I would go would probably would be

20:40

you probably about 53 55 ish. No

20:45

but you know you gotta be high if you're gonna be

20:48

there at all. Are you texted

20:51

like friend daddy? Well

20:54

kept. Preserved

20:56

if you will. Did

20:59

you go out on any dates from

21:01

anybody you met online? Yeah I

21:03

did. Yeah I went on plenty of days. But

21:08

no look who's like though like

21:10

what's the weirdest date you've been on? Oh

21:13

girl. Okay

21:16

I remember I went on a date with this

21:18

guy he's from the island. I

21:21

think he was stranded at. I

21:23

don't know we went on a day everything was

21:25

okay and then he went in a he went

21:27

in the bathroom he went in his and

21:30

his house you know we stopped at his house and

21:33

to do something or whatever and I'm

21:35

in the living room he's in the

21:37

bathroom taking a long time and I'm

21:39

like huh I kind

21:41

of crept up and I already been there talking

21:43

to another girl telling her how

21:45

much he loved her. Oh my god he

21:47

couldn't wait. Yeah he couldn't wait it was

21:50

some I think it was an egg. Uh-huh

21:53

and when he came out if

21:55

you see me on the show my face

21:57

cannot I cannot have facial expression. And

22:01

he was like what's going on? And so I told him

22:03

about it. I'm like I'm

22:05

here with you and you know, I hear you telling

22:07

some girl that you love her and Really?

22:10

He got really upset and we got to

22:12

where he did arguing me. He put me

22:14

out the house He got upset with you

22:17

because you heard him saying to somebody else

22:19

that he loved them while he's on a

22:21

date with you And

22:23

then and he tried to tell like

22:25

he did he told me to leave He

22:28

told me to leave and I was like,

22:30

okay But you

22:32

better not put your hands out because I mean he was

22:34

hot you know and

22:37

I had heard about You

22:39

know these little rumors about dating guys from

22:41

the island is that some of them are crazy.

22:44

He was crazy Because

22:48

he was just he was

22:50

ridiculous he was just just mad

22:53

so Gary that's like

22:55

just somebody getting that mad about

22:57

something that they created and then flipping

22:59

it on you Yeah, and that's the

23:02

last time I did that after that when I

23:04

told my mom I told my mom about my

23:06

experience and she was like Me

23:14

somebody that might kick you, you know,

23:16

and so Yeah,

23:18

I after that I let it go. Yeah,

23:20

I that's that's too wild for me I'd

23:22

be like, oh I gotta take a little

23:24

sabbatical I

23:27

was thinking a little sabbatical from the

23:29

apps, but I'm back on them and

23:31

I'm pretty sure this man is Standing

23:34

me up. I Have it.

23:36

I have a date with him today We

23:38

were supposed to go out and then I

23:41

just have not heard a single thing from

23:43

him And

23:45

I was like, but you kept messaging

23:47

me and I finally was like, yeah

23:49

sure I'll go see a movie with

23:51

you today. He just stopped messaging and I'm

23:54

like, what is this? What

23:56

what why why are you do why

23:58

even talk to me? You

24:01

know what? He probably is not who

24:03

he said he is. Now I will tell you

24:05

about this experience. Okay. So black people,

24:07

me, I meant this really,

24:10

what I thought was this handsome

24:12

guy. I

24:14

mean, and we would

24:16

talk on the phone and I

24:18

was just like, the voice don't match the

24:21

face. Uh huh. You know,

24:23

it just didn't match the face. And even

24:25

my kids, my sons at the

24:27

time, they were teenagers and you know, they think everything

24:29

is a joke. Uh huh. He was like,

24:31

you know, he don't sound like he looks.

24:34

So, you know, we kept planning to

24:36

go on a date and everything. And every

24:39

time we got ready to go, like, it

24:42

was like, okay, I'll see you next

24:44

week type thing. Um, he was blocked

24:47

me off of the page. It

24:50

would block my phone number. He did

24:52

that twice. And then the last

24:55

time he ended up admitting that he was

24:57

not who he said he was. And I

24:59

was so pissed off. This was like my

25:01

first catfish experience ever. I was

25:03

like, well, send me a picture of what you

25:06

really look like. Girl, you can send me a

25:08

picture that look like he took it in the

25:10

eighties. I was

25:12

like, no, I need a picture of whether

25:14

you look like right now and

25:16

he wouldn't do with it. And,

25:18

um, it was just, he

25:21

said he felt bad about it and he tried

25:24

to give me some sad, sad story of why

25:26

he couldn't, he didn't have any good luck with

25:28

dating and this is why he chose, you know,

25:30

that right. I'm like, well, where did you get

25:32

this dual pitch? Because I want to do it.

25:37

He wants to tell me where he got the pictures

25:39

from. Like I want the mayor in the picture. So

25:42

yeah, that was weird. So what your

25:44

experience is, if he keeps, you

25:47

know, doing what

25:49

he's doing, standing you up, he's not

25:51

stopping you. He's saying, and have you

25:54

got FaceTimed or anything like that? No,

25:56

I don't ever FaceTime anyone before going out

25:58

with them. I talk to them. We make. a

26:00

date and I meet them there,

26:02

which you know, you

26:04

said, did you FaceTime before? That's

26:07

probably a good idea. You need

26:09

to. You need to because

26:11

you at least should know what you're

26:13

getting because you don't want to end

26:15

up meeting somebody and they're like,

26:17

they say they are or they're a

26:20

hundred pounds heavier. I'm serious

26:22

because they do

26:24

it all the time. And so when

26:26

you ask the FaceTime them if they

26:29

were to fuse, that's your red flag.

26:32

I remember I had one guy, we did the

26:34

FaceTime once time and all I could see was

26:36

his legs. He would not let me see his

26:38

head. That's so wild. Right.

26:42

And I'm like, lift up the camera. Oh,

26:47

you know, because I mean, he has some

26:50

excuse. And I was like,

26:52

this dude, he's not who he is. I'll

26:54

pay attention. That's so

26:56

wild to be like, okay, I'll FaceTime

26:58

you, but you can't see my face.

27:00

The literal word is FaceTime.

27:02

I want to see your face. Yeah.

27:06

The world would be dark and all I could

27:08

see was him sitting in a chair with his

27:10

legs up to here. I couldn't not. Yeah.

27:14

So that's, that's scary. So no. Have

27:17

you ever had friends like, uh, set

27:19

you up? It's

27:21

been a while, you know, back in the day when I

27:24

was younger, like in my teens and my twenties, you know,

27:26

we would do the blind thing, you know, I got in

27:28

the fridge. I mean,

27:32

one of my girlfriends, uh, she's

27:34

a successful real estate agent here.

27:38

Um, I think one of

27:40

the last guys that I dated or whatever, I

27:42

think he was a client of hers and

27:44

I saw him on her page after

27:46

she sold him this huge house. I

27:49

was like, and, um, me

27:51

and him, we had a little thing going on. We

27:53

met through her, but I haven't

27:55

had it to where girlfriends are saying,

27:57

you know, I know that it's wonderful.

28:00

this great guy, I think y'all be good together,

28:02

let me hook it up. And I'm

28:05

kind of scared of those too, because I

28:07

know I'll get somewhere and if there's not

28:10

a connection, once again, my

28:12

face is scared. You are not.

28:15

When you're on a first date, are you

28:17

like, how do you let somebody down that

28:20

you don't feel? You're like, do

28:22

you just tell them or do you think

28:24

they like, they know? I

28:26

don't tell them because I'm not into

28:29

the hurting people, feeling business. So

28:32

do you just ghost people? I really

28:34

kind of remain friends with them. You know,

28:36

I kind of like the

28:38

communication goes down. I'm not

28:41

calling as much. I'm not

28:43

available as much, but every

28:45

once in a while they'll text, you know, sometimes

28:48

they'll text more than they talk and it's like, good morning. How

28:50

are you doing? I'm like, good morning. How are you

28:52

doing? You know, hope you're having a nice day. You

28:55

know, I try to like get rid of

28:57

them that way. And then after a while and

28:59

they say, you know, she's not going. She

29:02

ain't behind the bait. They'll follow. Yeah.

29:05

Okay. Real quick,

29:08

we got to take a break. Watch

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wait till midnight Try to new

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Cantina chicken menu now. When.

30:39

It started dating. I feel like you're good

30:42

at dating. Did you start young? Are you

30:44

have. A. Early bloomer Or a

30:46

late bloomer. Alma very

30:48

early. Boehmer. Of

30:51

I am offers Saddam Hussein adam

30:53

million or thing. So.

30:55

Yeah, I'm babbling smear, It

30:58

was like being pregnant at fourteen and

31:00

and being a mom and fifty and

31:02

I feel like. I'm. Almost

31:05

forty and I'm like I only have a

31:07

know how I'd take of another thing. While.

31:09

That that fab bad baby and thirty three

31:12

and he lives in. Europe right now so

31:14

I'll need very successful as well. I

31:16

feel like added a good job. It.

31:18

It was not as

31:21

hard. As. He.

31:23

Would have been. How people say

31:26

you know for for teenage

31:28

pregnancy situation with. That

31:30

had a very supportive family. hey,

31:33

I was that one year debate mumbling

31:36

head on seeing. You the Grandma

31:38

and. Mama enough! I had

31:40

a very supportive family so

31:42

I was sealed. have fun

31:44

and. And doing what I

31:47

wanted to do and wow wow one

31:49

and said oh, because. My.

31:51

Family would be like. Our

31:53

cable you know of you, but I'm glad

31:55

to tackle that another. You. Wanna.

31:58

Go. To college and gets it agreed. you don't

32:00

have a babysitter. I will watch them

32:02

while you're in school and while you're

32:04

at work. So I didn't have that

32:06

those issues because you know,

32:09

I grew up pretty rough

32:12

and my mom was a single mother. And

32:14

so a lot of my summer, my summers

32:16

at the age of like 11 and 12,

32:20

I was her babysitter, why she went

32:22

to work and she was on the bus line. So

32:25

my summers, I was not in summer camp and

32:27

I went outside playing with the other kids.

32:29

I was in the house changing

32:31

diapers and making milk

32:34

and formula for a baby at the age of

32:36

11 and 12. So when mine came along, I

32:39

already knew what to do. Fair?

32:41

I mean, that makes

32:44

sense. I was the youngest, so like

32:46

I didn't have to do any of that. And then I

32:48

just, I was a nanny for a while and I was

32:50

like, Oh no. And I know it's other people's kids, but

32:52

I was like, I don't think this is for me. I

32:55

can't do that. But did having a kid

32:57

make dating harder at all?

33:00

No, no, no, it

33:02

didn't. I didn't have

33:04

any issues. I never had a guy who

33:07

was like, she got kids. And so I

33:09

think I came across that as a grown

33:11

woman one time when I had all my three

33:13

boys and I was dating a

33:15

guy who had never been married, never had children.

33:18

And he told me, he was

33:20

like, well, my ideal person

33:23

that I want to be with is someone

33:25

that doesn't have those things because I want

33:27

to experience those first time,

33:29

you know, births and marriages,

33:32

you know, marriage with a

33:34

woman and not with someone that

33:37

already has all that going on.

33:39

And my son, he overheard it and one

33:41

of my sons did and he got really

33:44

offended and he called and he's

33:46

like, excuse me, you know, he

33:48

was like, you know, my mom of

33:50

that way because okay, if he's

33:52

rejecting you, he's rejecting us. And

33:55

so he said that's the heart.

33:58

So I probably would have too. I've been like this

34:00

is fucking rude. How dare you go out with her so

34:02

many times and then say that you don't want

34:05

it But at the end of the day

34:07

I had to tell my son, you know, you still

34:09

a child. Did he respectful? You shouldn't

34:12

I get why you did it it but you

34:14

don't disrespect grown people, you know So

34:17

do you tell people on the first date that

34:19

you have kids or do you wait? the

34:22

fact well Usually

34:25

the first day but Sometimes

34:30

now with the way it

34:33

is now I kind of just wait a

34:35

little bit because I don't

34:37

want to get all into my intimate

34:39

details You know what I'm

34:41

saying? Because if you know I had

34:43

a son that was murdered three years ago

34:46

mm-hmm, and so When

34:48

I start to say that I have three

34:50

children and one is deceased Now

34:53

I gotta start getting into the intimate

34:55

details about what happened to him and

34:58

the relationship If they had and I

35:00

don't feel like everybody is worthy of

35:02

my story Because I'm

35:04

trying to I'm trying to feel feel you out for

35:06

like what? What

35:09

are you here for for me? Are you here?

35:11

Are you genuine or are you organic? Are you

35:14

looking for just a good time or rolling? Hey

35:17

and everybody, you know Don't

35:19

deserve to know all of these intimate details

35:21

about your life if they're not trying to

35:24

be serious with you So I had to

35:26

gauge where we are and

35:28

what you want and then and I'll let

35:31

you know That makes sense. I

35:33

tell people all my business all

35:36

the time Let's

35:38

see. Yeah, you gotta stop that

35:40

you gotta stop that. I know

35:42

I just love talking so much

35:45

I know I know and I used to do

35:47

it too I used to run it all the

35:49

way down about my father and my mother and

35:51

my past Things I'd

35:54

have been through and who didn't hurt me

35:56

and what age boyfriend it was this and

35:58

I mean I used to just it

36:00

all, not all in one day, but you

36:02

know, just in a short

36:04

period of time and my little sister, she

36:06

was just like, you're doing too much

36:09

because you kind of give that person

36:12

an idea of your vulnerable side.

36:14

And some people will

36:16

play on that. You know what I'm saying? They'll

36:19

play on, they'll be like, you know what, she's

36:21

been through a lot. She's been through some trauma.

36:24

She's vulnerable. She's gullible. Probably

36:27

wouldn't be too hard to get some ass from her.

36:30

You see what I'm saying? I'm serious.

36:32

They do it all at a time. They do. But

36:35

here's the thing. Yeah, I am easy. You

36:38

can have whatever you want. I'll suck your dick on the

36:40

first day. I'll

36:44

waste no time. Yeah, don't

36:47

stop today. I

36:51

know, I know. OK, here's a question.

36:53

How do you when do you decide

36:55

that you want something more from a

36:57

person? Like, how long do you date

36:59

before you're like, OK, I'd like to

37:01

be exclusive. And do you wait for

37:03

them to say something or do you

37:05

say something at

37:07

this age? It's either it's

37:10

either should I get out of the way? I'll

37:12

have time. I'm

37:14

almost 50 years old. I'm

37:17

almost half a century old. You

37:19

know, in 24 years, I'm 70. We

37:22

all know 20 years go by like,

37:25

you know, it does. So at

37:27

this point, I'm dating with a purpose

37:29

and I want to be exclusive with

37:31

someone. So I feel like in this

37:34

day and age, this guy, this guy

37:36

is dangerous out here. These

37:38

guys are carrying diseases. They

37:40

are doing all type of freaky

37:43

stuff, you know, whatever.

37:46

And I just would like to be exclusive

37:49

with one person. And I'm a very little

37:51

bit person. So if my eyes are set

37:53

on you, I'm with you the

37:55

whole time. I'm I'm I'm I'm

37:57

riding for you the whole time. how

38:00

people date multiple people at once. I'm

38:02

like don't you get confused and don't

38:04

you like I would just

38:06

find myself repeating things and be like I forgot

38:08

I told this one this and this one the

38:10

other thing. I just it's so hard. Do you

38:12

ever date multiple people at once? Um

38:15

maybe a couple you know

38:18

because you didn't want to see like

38:20

which one is worthy.

38:22

Uh-huh. You know don't

38:24

put all your eggs in one basket you

38:27

know but see my problem is to see

38:29

that eventually both of them

38:31

go walk on. Mm-hmm. You know

38:34

what I'm saying? Oh yeah somebody may

38:36

be getting some but the other one ain't. You

38:38

know what I'm saying? But I have to date.

38:40

I have to get here to see like which

38:42

one is worthy. Mm-hmm. I

38:45

just can't go I can't flux away from one

38:47

to the other and back and forth and back and

38:49

forth. It's just not me. I feel like a ho.

38:53

No.

38:55

I like feeling like a ho. I'm like mmm

38:57

I'm ready to go. I like something. That was

39:00

back in the day with me. That was back

39:03

in the day. I'm like really

39:05

time is a ticket. You

39:07

were married before. How long

39:10

did you date before you got married? Not

39:12

long. That's full of love. So we

39:15

started dating in the month

39:17

of August. I'll never forget

39:20

and he proposed in

39:22

December 31st. Oh my

39:24

god. That's

39:27

wild. That's so quick. Yeah

39:29

and we were engaged or left

39:32

us in a year. Mm-hmm. And

39:34

we out married and we only saved Mary for

39:36

two years. For me two

39:38

years is a good run. Do you think you learned

39:40

from that relationship or you like fucked that? I

39:43

did and I want to get married again.

39:46

I love being a wife. I did. I

39:48

like the whole aspect of the family values

39:50

and the trips that we took with the

39:52

kids and I could be in the kitchen

39:54

cooking and he outside cutting the grass. There's

39:57

nothing better than that to me. Then

40:00

to be out here in this dating world, I

40:02

love, I mean, I come from that type of

40:05

environment being, you know, raised by

40:07

my great grandparents, not

40:09

just my mom, but you know, from my early childhood,

40:12

it was my great grandparents and they were born in

40:14

1914. So

40:17

they lived until I was

40:19

like 21. So

40:22

just seeing that whole Southern

40:26

grandma and grandpa together and

40:28

they just kept the family

40:30

together. That's what I like. Even

40:34

though I try

40:36

to take the negative with a positive out

40:38

of the negative. So yeah, he wasn't good

40:40

in some aspects, but there was

40:42

some positive things that came out of it.

40:45

And it really was like stepping stones to

40:47

get me to the level that I am

40:49

today. So I put

40:51

in my life for a purpose of

40:53

a reason in a season. God used

40:56

him because I put him in my life

40:58

for a reason in a season and

41:00

he served his purpose and he's got.

41:03

Okay. Real quick, we

41:06

gotta take a break. This

41:14

show is sponsored by better help. You

41:16

know, there's always something that I really

41:18

need to talk about and thank

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God I have a podcast, but then there's stuff that

41:23

I don't want to reveal publicly. So

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I talked to a therapist and listen, we

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41:58

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42:01

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42:03

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42:05

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42:07

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42:09

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vacation to Mexico. See how I said

43:09

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43:11

sounds like I speak Spanish. It just

43:13

makes traveling better. So you can like

43:16

order food, ask for directions and flirt

43:18

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43:21

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43:26

having to consult language apps while on

43:28

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43:40

Spelled b-a-b-b-e-l.com. Rules and

43:47

restrictions may apply. Okay, Crystal.

43:50

Yes. How do you deal with... Okay,

43:52

so when you got married and or

43:54

when you've lived with people, do

43:56

you move into their place or do they move into your

43:59

place or do you get... a place together. In

44:01

the past, it has been me

44:03

always making a sacrifice. I've

44:06

done it like three times. I've

44:09

moved to Chicago for a man.

44:11

Oh, I've moved

44:13

to Detroit for my husband.

44:18

And back in the day, it was from St. Louis

44:20

to East St. Louis, which was nothing

44:22

but across the river. I've

44:25

done it three times and I'm not doing

44:27

it ever. I'm not doing it

44:29

again. How do

44:31

you deal with someone in your house

44:34

all the time? I've never lived with

44:36

anybody. So I feel like I would just

44:38

like wake up and be like, Oh my God, you're still here. No,

44:40

I'm not like

44:42

that. I love it. I

44:45

do. If they are a agreeable

44:47

person, and they're a true for person,

44:50

and they don't cause me drama, I

44:52

love it. I love taking

44:54

care of someone else. I like to

44:56

know that I got someone for, we

44:59

can do foot season and look at movies

45:01

together and eat popcorn or we can

45:03

get up and we can go wherever we want

45:06

to go. And I like cooking for someone. I

45:08

don't even cook anymore. The boy with the gong

45:10

and gong, I don't have a man

45:12

here. I'm constantly eating out all the time. And

45:15

it's just because it's me. I had somebody

45:17

come over here and say, you don't even

45:19

have any food in the refrigerator. I'm like,

45:21

I don't. I'm always eating out. So

45:24

to have someone in

45:26

my home to take care of and be a

45:28

companion, I would love it. I would. I don't

45:30

look at them like, what are you doing here?

45:33

I'm only going to look at them like that

45:35

if they're causing me problems and I'm just

45:37

like turned off and I'm not, there's

45:39

a disconnection. That makes sense.

45:42

Even if someone's not acting up, I'm

45:45

like, Oh my God, go away. So

45:47

I can be, I like being alone.

45:49

I used to not like it. And

45:51

now I've really gotten accustomed to like

45:53

having my alone time. It's quiet in

45:55

the morning and that's nice. Just having

45:57

someone just, I'm like. Oh

46:00

my God, but I do want a partner.

46:02

I want one so bad. Uh, you got

46:04

to get used to that. You got to

46:06

find your word person. Um,

46:09

I think that the ideal person

46:11

for me is someone that has

46:14

his own thing going on. And

46:18

he's respectful of my time

46:20

alone and I'm respectful of

46:22

his time alone. You know, I

46:24

know if you like to

46:27

go out and you like to be with your boys

46:29

or you want to go in another room and read

46:31

the book, I know that that's what he

46:33

likes to do. I don't bother

46:35

him, you know, and it's the same thing with

46:37

me. Be respectful of my alone time. Cause you're

46:40

right. At some point you get tired of looking

46:42

at each other. You just do, you know,

46:44

and you got to know, like

46:47

when to turn it on and when to turn it

46:49

off in a respectful manner to keep the peace. Cause

46:53

you got some women who are very clingy

46:56

and they're possessive. And

46:59

he can't get in the car and go around the corner

47:01

to put gas in his car. It's like, what you doing?

47:04

What you doing? What you doing? You

47:07

know, and that's like being a net of the picnic,

47:10

you know, somewhere about, you know, and

47:12

that, that's a big turn off for

47:14

me. And because to me, there's

47:16

like four or five things that men

47:19

want, you know, what that

47:21

is first, they want peace

47:23

of mind. Peace

47:25

from you. Basically want peace. They

47:27

want good food. They want daily

47:30

affirmations or affirmations on a regular

47:32

and, and porn star sex. You

47:35

hear that? Me and that. You

47:38

good. You have any sex tips? Oh,

47:41

wow. Okay. Without

47:45

being too rashing, I

47:48

would say always keep

47:50

it spicy. Do different

47:53

things. You know,

47:55

be creative. Um,

47:59

don't be that. women that it

48:01

felt like restricted, like, I don't

48:03

do this and I don't do that.

48:06

You know, and if you go, if you're going

48:08

to give some head, don't give no boring

48:10

head. I mean, I hate some boring head

48:12

when she just spikes and she's just, uh-huh.

48:14

You know, you got to, you got to,

48:16

you got to get porn started with it.

48:19

You do. You really do to

48:21

keep the spice. If you're going to do it, do

48:23

it right. You know, and

48:27

for women that just later, like a starfish,

48:29

you know, just know

48:32

they don't talk. They don't talk to the

48:34

man that they're not making. You know, I

48:36

don't know. You, I'm

48:38

very sensual and very, very sexy when I,

48:41

when I'm with mommy. And so,

48:43

yeah, you know, high sex in

48:45

the car. Oh, no.

48:49

No, it wasn't the last time we had sex in the

48:51

car when we was, when we were teenagers. Right. Uh-huh.

48:54

I've got to do that now as a 48,

48:56

48 year old woman, you know, I mean, yeah.

49:00

Just pull over to a nice, secluded

49:02

place. The whole idea of we being

49:04

sneaky. That, that, that's yours

49:06

you want, you know? So

49:09

I like that. Yeah. And

49:11

keep it spicy. The

49:13

best advice I ever got was from Amber

49:15

Rose. She was

49:17

like, when you give head, uh, prop one of

49:19

your legs up and rub your clit while you

49:21

do it and stare at them. And anytime I've

49:23

ever done that, whoo, whee, is he

49:26

excited? You know what?

49:28

I never tried that. It's

49:31

very good advice because it's like, you're

49:33

turning me on so much that I

49:35

have to like pleasure myself while I

49:37

pleasure you. And then they like to

49:39

lose their mind. And then she also

49:41

taught me to like lift the back

49:43

of your tongue so it hits the

49:45

back of your tongue and not your

49:47

throat. And then you do the gag

49:49

and you can control how you gag

49:51

on them. Yeah,

49:53

they like to see all that they

49:55

do. They, they audio and you need

49:58

to give them visual. Yeah. They

50:01

like to do that. Now as

50:03

far as the touching, I

50:06

will let a man watch me. I will make a

50:08

man watch me pleasure

50:12

myself. And

50:14

they be like, what? But I've never

50:16

done that while giving

50:18

head. I've never done that. So I

50:20

might have to try. But

50:23

I also like that it's like, yeah, watch me

50:25

pleasure myself because then you can learn how to

50:27

do it, take some little notes, and then you

50:30

can do it. And then it's delightful. Okay,

50:32

okay. I'm gonna have to try that one day.

50:35

Do you wait to have sex or do you

50:37

like how long do you wait? Maybe

50:43

the third or fourth date. Okay,

50:47

yeah, it's with you. I've been

50:51

on date. Well, well,

50:53

I'm lying. Okay, so my most

50:57

recent experience is that I spent three days

51:00

with the man and I told him

51:02

that I have been celibate and I have been celibate since

51:04

October of last year. And so we were like around

51:15

probably in April at

51:17

this point. And I told

51:19

him, I said, I don't want to do anything. I just

51:21

want to go on a date. You gonna be able to

51:23

handle that? Uh-huh. I'm

51:25

like, well, I'm coming to be in

51:28

your city for three

51:30

days. He's like, I

51:32

got it. It's all good. And so

51:34

we spent three days just

51:38

exploring the city and we did a

51:40

whole lot of kissing, but no

51:42

sex at all. No sex.

51:44

And he stayed at the hotel with

51:46

me and he did not. And even

51:49

when things got kind of hot and

51:51

stings me and I felt like I just wanted to

51:54

give it to him. Like, no, I'm going to

51:56

be a man of my word. I felt

51:58

like I wasn't going to do. And that

52:00

turned me on. I love that.

52:03

I love a respectable man. Yeah,

52:06

because you know how hard it is. Most of me

52:08

will be pulling into a pension and and

52:10

then I stop, move quick, I feel like it,

52:13

didn't I say stop? I'll stop. No,

52:15

and I hate that. I hate that. When

52:17

I tell you no, I mean no. Yes,

52:19

I mean no. Yes. When again,

52:21

you all know. You'll know. Oh,

52:24

yeah. But the third or fourth

52:26

date. Okay, before I let

52:28

you go, do you have any

52:31

advice for single women? Or

52:35

single people out there? I

52:37

probably got plenty. I would say first

52:39

of all, take your time. Don't rush.

52:41

Get to know a person. Get

52:44

to know a person. I

52:47

think as women we make a lot

52:49

of mistakes because we're so in a

52:51

rush to have a man and

52:55

you know, be with somebody because we're

52:57

lonely and we give away too much.

53:01

Our bodies, you know, our minds,

53:03

you know, and you know, we swap our

53:05

spirits with these guys and we don't know

53:08

them. So just take your time because

53:10

those type of things they

53:13

do fester in you. And when it

53:15

doesn't go your way, you're heartbroken. You

53:17

ever seen a woman, they get a man, they

53:20

post them on Facebook and then they take them

53:22

down and they post them. It's

53:24

like a curse. It's like

53:26

a curse. It really is. And so just, just

53:29

take your time. I

53:33

asked all of my guests this, would you

53:35

date me? Would I date you? Oh, got

53:37

it. Um,

53:41

I would give you a try. Oh,

53:43

thank you. I would

53:46

give you a try. I would give you a

53:48

try just because with your bubbly personality, I would

53:50

like to get to know you better. Oh,

53:53

Crystal, thank you so much. I feel

53:55

some energy here. You

53:57

got a little, you got some. You just a little

53:59

rub. But if I

54:01

was dating you, I think I could smooth

54:04

that all out. I

54:07

love that. Everyone loves the challenge. Do

54:09

you have anything that you want to promote? Oh

54:12

yeah. I will promote my

54:14

Instagram page. I am

54:16

a makeup artist, a celebrity makeup

54:19

artist, and I

54:21

also specialize in bridal makeup.

54:23

And I do my day-to-day

54:25

one too. So my page

54:27

on Instagram is about face

54:29

makeup underscore one.

54:33

Please follow me. Send me a

54:35

DM. I'll speak back. I try to speak

54:37

back to everybody. Yeah, I

54:39

like to promote my makeup page. I'm also

54:41

going to be trying to come out with,

54:44

well, I'm not going to say trying because my

54:46

friend doesn't like that. He's like, you

54:49

got to manifest it. I am going

54:51

to come out with my own makeup

54:53

brush line. Ooh, I love that.

54:55

I've been working on it. So yeah, it's

54:57

going to be one of the

55:00

first of its type sold in stores. I'm

55:02

trying to, I am going to

55:04

get it into Ulta Beauty. Yes,

55:07

manifest. Thank

55:10

you so much for being here, Crystal.

55:12

Also watch Mills Manor. It is on

55:14

max and it's on TLC. Thank

55:17

you so much. You're welcome. I

55:19

had a great time. Oh, thank you. Okay.

55:23

subscribe. You can

55:25

leave me five stars on Apple

55:27

podcast, and if you write me

55:30

something nasty hitting on me to

55:32

WhyWon'tYoudateMepodcast@gmail.com I will read

55:35

it. Okay. How about this?

55:37

A candilit dinner. Hi, Nicole. I want

55:40

to invite you over for a candilit

55:42

dinner to my place and ask you

55:44

questions about yourself. When I

55:46

ask if you are queer, you

55:48

will never inevitably reply, I'm not

55:51

queer. I'm just myself. I will

55:53

stand up, flip the table and

55:56

kiss you passionately, strip you down, bend

55:58

you over and stomp you. my

56:00

bisexual cock inside you while I lean

56:02

over and whisper in your ear, HA

56:05

HA HA HA HA! Rejecting

56:07

labels is the clearest thing you

56:09

can do! And

56:14

we both come cy- uh,

56:16

cycloneous and fall in love

56:18

with each other in a

56:20

non-conforming, non-heteronormative way. The end.

56:23

That's very funny. Um,

56:25

thank you! Bye-bye! Bye-bye!

56:32

Why Won't You Date Me? It's a coal

56:34

buyer. It's produced by me, Marn. It's

56:37

executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao,

56:39

and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. With

56:42

talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina

56:44

Batista, and Maddie Ogden. Got

56:47

a question? Crazy dating story? Or a

56:49

dirty message for Nicole? Write

56:51

it to Why Won't You Date Me podcast@gmail.com for

56:54

a chance to have a teacher on a future

56:56

show. Thanks for listening! We'll

56:58

see you next week with our

57:00

brand new episode of Deedle Gohas.

57:02

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