Episode Transcript
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0:00
Hey Grown Ups, this episode of Wow in the
0:02
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2:00
3, 4! We Wow Summer!
2:02
Summer's never ever ever!
2:06
We Wow Summer! So
2:09
never much of that show
2:11
for summer! We Wow Summer!
2:14
I don't know what kind of stuff, but we'll figure it out!
2:17
We Wow Summer!
2:20
Yeah! Whoo!
2:25
Hello and welcome to We Wow
2:27
Summer Week! Summer fun forever and
2:30
ever! Whoo!
2:33
That's right Reggie! School's out and it's
2:35
time for summer baby! Whoo!
2:39
Yes Reggie, as a matter of fact
2:41
I do go to school! Whoo! Well
2:45
for your information I'm getting my
2:47
MBA! Whoo! That's right! My
2:50
Masters of Being Annoying at
2:52
Pain in the Neck University! Whoo! But
2:54
now it's summer and you know what that
2:56
means! Whoo! Yeah! We can
2:58
do anything we want! Whoo! We
3:01
don't have to record podcasts in the
3:04
basement! Whoo! We can record
3:06
outside because it's night outside! Whoo!
3:09
And we can have fun all day, stay up
3:11
all night! Whoo! What
3:13
are we waiting for? Summer
3:15
fun forever and ever! Let's
3:18
go! So...
3:28
What do you want to do? Whoo!
3:32
What? What do you mean you don't know?
3:34
Whoo! Reggie, I came up with
3:36
the title, Summer Fun Forever and Ever! Yeah, we're
3:39
supposed to plan all the things we do forever
3:41
and ever! I don't
3:43
know! Things like pool parties and
3:45
hanging loose in Serpent USA! Whoo!
3:48
Oh whatever. That's okay. Now
3:50
we have nothing to do and so I
3:52
guess we'll just do nothing, right? Okay,
3:55
ready? Here we go. And...
4:00
Nothing! Ugh...
4:09
Ahh! Ugh! Ugh!
4:11
Brrrrrr! Wow! Who knew
4:13
having nothing to do with me so
4:16
boring! Brrrrrr! Reggie! I'm bored! Brrrrrr! Brrrr!
4:18
Well, what's everyone else doing today? Brrrrrr!
4:21
Hmm. Well, let's go snoop around and find
4:23
out! Brrrrrr! Speak us, Reggie! What if they're
4:25
doing all the things, like pool parties and
4:27
hanging loose in Southern USA without me! Dennis!
4:31
Brrrrrr! Brrrrrr! Brrrrrr! Oh, Reggie!
4:33
That's it! Brrrr! We should go
4:35
around the neighborhood and interview everyone
4:37
and find out what they do
4:39
in the summer! Brrrrrr! This
4:41
is so bananas! It's just my work!
4:43
Brrrrrr! Brrrr! Brrrr! Now, Reggie,
4:45
we can't start today... Tomorrow! We'll
4:48
start interviewing people tomorrow. Brrrrrr!
4:50
Speak us! I'm not ready!
4:52
Brrrr! Well, first off, this
4:54
isn't the right microphone. I need
4:57
my interview microphone. Brrrr! And my interview
4:59
hat. Brrrrrr! In the
5:01
meantime, devoted listeners, what are you doing
5:03
this summer? I want
5:05
to hear your summertime wows!
5:07
Brrrr! Brrrr! Summertime wows, Reggie!
5:09
Like, maybe a vacation you went on
5:12
in the past, or a summer experience
5:14
you're having right now! Brrrr! Wowsers,
5:17
if you have a wow summer memory you'd
5:19
like to share with us, call us
5:21
at 1-888-7-WowWow. That's
5:25
1-888-7-WowWow. You
5:28
just may hear your Summer of Wow moment
5:30
featured on Wow in the World this summer!
5:32
Brrrr! Brrrr! Brrrr! Good idea, Reggie! Let's listen
5:35
to an episode of Wow in the World
5:37
right now! Brrrr!
5:39
Brrrr! Well, I was
5:41
thinking in the spirit of doing nothing and being
5:43
bored and slowing down, that we listen
5:45
to... This one! Brrrr! It's
5:48
Wow in the World Season 4, Episode 16, called, What's
5:50
Slower Than Slow? Brrrr!
5:54
Brrrr! Yeah! If we learn how to go slow,
5:56
then we can make the summer last forever and
5:59
ever! Brrrr! Okay, here
6:01
we go. And play.
6:05
We will be right back. Renee,
6:07
this message is for you. That's
6:12
it. Now back to the show. While
6:16
in the world... Okay.
6:20
Let's see if the mutants need pretzels. Check.
6:23
Sparkling free water. Check.
6:26
Yogurt garlic dip. Check. Okay,
6:29
think everything's ready for the big race?
6:31
Now I just need to tune in to
6:34
BTN here. Huh.
6:37
And that concludes our weekend-long
6:40
marathon of classic television static.
6:42
Oh. Coming up on the
6:45
Boring Television Network, Boring Sports
6:47
featuring the 100-meter Nauta Dash.
6:50
I want first a word from our
6:52
sponsor. Do
6:55
you like learning to see her here?
6:58
Uh... Do you like water? Yes.
7:02
Oh. Yeah, that's it. I'm
7:05
really just going to be here and
7:07
talk to you. I'm going to be talking to her
7:09
and tell her about this message to her.
7:12
And that's it. Please
7:15
be aware of your pure presentation on the new
7:17
personal benefits of the Spanish. Wow.
7:21
Three rich Canadian acrobats
7:23
doing gentle O-M-A-C yoga.
7:26
Namaste. Follow
7:28
my O-M-A-C. To
7:32
get on all the narration this
7:34
Saturday. Saturday at
7:36
O-M-A-C. Wow.
7:40
Oh, that's really mini. It's
7:45
coming! Mini! Get
7:47
Ravi! You made it and
7:49
you're just in time till the big
7:51
race is about to start. Uh,
7:54
aren't you going to say anything about my shirt?
7:57
Uh, your shirt? Yeah, check
7:59
it out. Happy Un-Birthday,
8:03
Guy Raz- M-Mimmy,
8:06
is this for me? You know it
8:08
is! You didn't think I'd forget your
8:11
Un-Birthday, did you? Uhhh...
8:13
Check it out, I've got everything here.
8:16
An Un-Birthday cake with your name on
8:18
it, an Un-Birthday shirt, also
8:20
with your name on it, and
8:23
an Un-Birthday t-shirt can with my
8:25
name on it. Huh? Heeee!
8:28
Oh! Heeee! Uhhhhh...
8:31
Ooh, nice catch! Yeah!
8:34
Yeah! Ahem! Why
8:36
don't you check the pocket? The pocket? Yeah,
8:39
the pocket on the shirt. Alright.
8:43
Let's see here... Mindy,
8:46
are these what I think they are? Yes! Three
8:51
tickets to the 100-meter Nauta Dash
8:53
at the Snoozefest Arena? Happy
8:56
Un-Birthday, Guy Roddy! Haaaa!
9:01
Mindy, this is amazing! I can't
9:03
believe you got us tickets to
9:05
see the slowest of the slowest
9:07
animals competition! I knew I'm the best!
9:09
I wonder who's gonna win the
9:12
title of World's Slowest Animal! I
9:14
know, and I heard it's a
9:16
really competitive and diverse field this
9:19
year. We've got
9:21
marsupials, mammals, reptiles,
9:24
mollusks... Wow! Anyhoo,
9:27
we gotta get a move on it! This race
9:30
is about to start! Yeah, I know, I was
9:32
just about to settle down in front of the
9:34
TV to watch it. I know, but lucky for
9:36
you, Guy Roddy, Reggie just got his flying mountain-turn-nude
9:39
and is eating for us out in the yard! Hey, Rog! We'll
9:42
be right there! He says
9:44
he'll get us there like any split! Perfect!
9:48
Just give me two seconds, let me grab my stuff.
9:51
Ah? Yeah, wait right here. Okay!
9:56
I don't know if you can tell me what you
9:58
need, huh? We need
10:01
some help from you. You need some help
10:03
from me. Can you read
10:05
more? Can you read more?
10:10
Ta-da! What
10:13
is that? It's all my boredom
10:15
sports fan gear. Check it out,
10:17
I've got my big foam finger. Oh,
10:19
my horn. Ah,
10:22
my cap. What does it say? Con-X-X-X-C-V-I-I-I-Is
10:31
this Roman numerals? Yep.
10:34
Ah, not boring. I got you
10:36
one too, Mindy. Thanks. Does
10:38
it also make me do math? Yeah,
10:40
here, pop it on. Okay. Okay,
10:44
let's get out of here, Mindy. Hey,
10:48
Reggie. Aw,
10:51
he says happy not your birthday, Guy Rosie. Aw,
10:54
thanks, Reg. Oh, man, look at the
10:56
time you're right, Reg. We gotta bust
10:58
a move. Come on, Guy Ros, hop on. Coming
11:01
up right behind you. Mindy,
11:07
good morning, everyone. My name is Mindy,
11:09
and I will be your pilot today
11:12
on this non-stop Reggie
11:15
flight to the Snoozefest
11:17
Arena. I'd
11:19
just like to welcome you all aboard today and
11:21
remind you to please keep your hands, feet,
11:24
and other objects inside
11:27
the vehicle at all times. Thank
11:30
you very much, and enjoy your
11:32
flight, Mindy, because
11:34
here we go!
11:46
And that's another Reggie flight arriving
11:48
safe and sound and on time.
11:50
Nice job, Reg. Uh,
11:53
Mindy, are you sure we're at the right place? It
11:57
looks super quiet here. Oh,
12:00
hmm. Well it is the
12:03
snooze best arena. Maybe everyone's
12:05
asleep. Mindy, I highly doubt
12:07
that everyone here is... ...a-sleet.
12:14
Well that seems to be the case with this ticket
12:16
taker. Um... Oh,
12:20
that's boring. Oh,
12:25
my God! What's
12:28
going on? Oh, um,
12:31
sorry to wake you sir, but we are here for
12:33
the 100 meter not a dash. I've
12:36
got my tickets. We in the right place? Yes,
12:39
you've arrived at the right place. Oh,
12:43
this guy's got his ticket. Here you go. It's
12:46
my own birthday. Oh,
12:48
that's great, sir. I'm so bored for
12:50
you. Now, if
12:52
you have a couple of hours, I'd like
12:54
to ask you a few hundred questions about
12:56
how you found out about today's event. Question
13:01
first. How did you find
13:03
out about today's event? Was
13:05
it A, a friend? B,
13:07
a friend of a friend? C,
13:10
a friend of a friend of a friend? Or
13:15
D, a friend's
13:17
neighbor's dog's pastor's...
13:21
Thank you very much. Okay, Roz, we
13:23
gotta go. You too,
13:25
Reg. Let me choose
13:27
a ticket here. Let's see. We are 23, 24, and 25, section
13:29
34 in the slow Wi-Fi stand. I
13:38
think we're over this way, Mindy. This way, Mindy.
13:46
Wow. Look at this
13:48
place, Mindy. The atmosphere is
13:50
electric. Yeah,
13:53
electric. That's what I was
13:55
thinking too. Good
13:59
high-five. Hey, Garrosh, over here! We
14:01
found our seat! Excuse me, and are
14:03
you... Sorry,
14:05
uh, pardon me, I'll hold my mind
14:08
yourself. Ah, I made it! And
14:13
just this time, too, Mindy, I think it's
14:15
about to start. Just in
14:18
testing. Hello everyone,
14:20
and welcome to the annual
14:23
100-meter Nada Dash World Championship.
14:27
Be the lonely advance.
14:30
Thank you. Every
14:32
year, slow folks from all
14:35
over the planet come to
14:37
the Snoozepest Arena to compete
14:39
for the title of World's
14:42
Slowest Animal.
14:45
World's Slowest Animal?
14:47
And now, introducing these years
14:50
to you. Hello,
14:53
Mindy. Hailing from
14:56
the treetops of eastern Australia,
14:58
sleeping for more than 19
15:00
hours a day and eating
15:03
for most of the other
15:05
five. It's the
15:07
motionless marsupial, Gary
15:10
the Moala. I'm
15:14
on the trading card. Hey,
15:17
Gary! Hey, Gary! Next
15:22
up, and last year's reigning
15:24
champion, the slowest
15:26
mammal on the planet,
15:29
the South American who's
15:31
always down to hang,
15:35
it's Barney the
15:37
Flaw. He's the
15:40
Flaw! I know! Okay,
15:44
but I've got a question. Whoa, whoa, what's
15:46
that, Mindy? Why are
15:48
all of these animals so slow?
15:51
Well, there are a bunch of different reasons
15:53
why one animal might be slower or faster
15:56
than another, but the reason why most of
15:58
the animals out here today... they are slow
16:00
is because of their diet. Their
16:02
diet? You mean like what they eat?
16:05
Yeah, take Gary the Koala,
16:07
for example. Koalas are actually
16:10
super fussy eaters and they
16:12
only eat one specific kind
16:14
of food. Oh yeah, koalas
16:16
only eat eucalyptus leaves, right?
16:19
Yeah, but the problem with
16:21
eucalyptus leaves is that they're
16:23
full of tiny fibers. Ah,
16:26
which probably means that it takes
16:28
koalas a long time to digest
16:30
them. You know, to turn all
16:32
of those delicious eucalyptus leaves into
16:34
poop. That's right, and the best
16:36
way for these koalas to digest
16:38
these leaves is to sleep it
16:40
off. That's what Grandma G. Force always
16:42
says after Thanksgiving dinner. And in
16:44
addition to this, Mindy, eucalyptus
16:47
leaves aren't very nutritious either.
16:49
So you're saying that koalas don't get
16:52
a lot of energy from eating
16:54
leaves? Exactly, so the few
16:56
hours that koalas are awake,
16:58
they only have a small supply of
17:00
energy to do everything else they need
17:02
to do. So in order to
17:05
conserve their energy, they
17:07
tend to move
17:09
very, very slowly.
17:12
Like when we got lost on that road
17:14
trip and we had to conserve gas to
17:16
get us to the hotel. Exactly. And so
17:18
what about the sloth, same deal? Pretty much,
17:20
Mindy. I mean, you are what you eat.
17:23
So the sloth also doesn't
17:25
have a very nutritious diet.
17:28
Exactly, and because of this, just
17:30
like the koala, the sloth doesn't
17:33
have much energy to spare. So
17:35
it's simply... Sasis
17:38
slow. Really
17:43
slow. Judging by the stats up
17:45
there on the Jumbotron, check it out.
17:48
Hmm, it says up there that the
17:50
sloth only moves 41 yards a day.
17:53
That's less than half the length of a
17:55
football field. Yeah, but believe it or
17:58
not, it's still not the slowest. animal
18:00
here. What? Really? Who else we
18:02
got? Well there's Humphrey the tortoise
18:05
and Samantha the
18:07
snail. Uh-huh. But there
18:10
is one competitor in particular that
18:12
I've been waiting to see all
18:14
year. She's actually a
18:17
newcomer to the competition this year and is
18:19
supposedly gonna blast everyone
18:22
out of the water. Really?
18:25
Who is this slow superstar? Oh,
18:28
I think I'm about to an accident.
18:30
I'm finally arriving to
18:33
the starting line. The
18:35
reptile you've all been
18:37
waiting for. From the
18:39
caves of Bosnia and
18:41
Herzegovina, the amphibian that
18:43
can't be moved, please
18:46
welcome Deborah the salamander.
18:49
Thank you. Is
18:54
he a rut salamander? Yep. Deborah
18:56
was part of a group of
18:58
European salamanders that were studied by
19:01
scientists from Houteforsch-Lorand University in Hungary.
19:03
And if you thought those other
19:05
animals were slow, awful boy, just wait till
19:07
you hear about this salamander. Why
19:11
hopefully is he? One
19:13
second, Mindia. I think the race is about to start.
19:16
On your marks, get set,
19:20
slow, and
19:23
they're all sort of.
19:26
Okay, so how
19:28
slow is this salamander,
19:31
Gyroz? Well, Deborah belongs
19:33
to a group of salamanders called
19:35
Olms. Oh, I
19:38
know Olms. They used to have
19:40
one as my old neighbor. They're almost
19:42
completely blind and typically live in damp
19:44
caves in Europe. That's right. And this
19:46
group of researchers from Hungary tagged
19:48
and monitored a total of 26
19:50
of these Olms living in a
19:53
small section of a cave in
19:55
northern Bosnia and Herzegovina. Yeah,
19:57
and what did they find? Well, they...
20:00
basically found this. That
20:30
a big lunch. Ha
20:32
ha ha ha ha. And Deborah,
20:34
true to form, has yet
20:37
to move a muscle. Ooh,
20:40
well it doesn't look like that salamander
20:43
Deborah is going anywhere in a hurry.
20:46
Is that what the researchers
20:48
found, Egyaraz? Exactly, Mindy. Between
20:50
the years 2010 and 2018,
20:52
the researchers returned to
20:54
the cave four times, to check
20:56
up on the Olms progress and
20:58
see how far they've moved. Oh
21:01
yeah, and what did they
21:03
find? These researchers found that
21:05
these salamanders only moved about
21:08
five meters, or sixteen feet,
21:10
every year. Sixteen
21:13
feet in a year? You're
21:16
telling me that these little guys
21:19
only moved the length of my
21:21
ice cream truck in a whole
21:23
year? That's exactly what
21:25
I'm saying, Mindy. Man, you
21:27
were not kidding when you said these
21:29
things were slow. And that's not all.
21:32
It's not? Nope. Out
21:34
of all of those super
21:36
slow salamanders, there was even
21:38
one standout Olm. One
21:41
Olm that refused to move
21:43
at all for seven years.
21:45
Seven years? What?
21:48
That's baller balls. And
21:51
guess what, Mindy? What? That
21:53
salamander? That Olm? Was
21:56
Deborah! Oh! And she's
21:58
down there right now! Now
22:00
doing her thing! Or not
22:02
doing her thing! That's
22:05
right! This one salamander
22:07
sat in that exact same
22:09
spot in that damp cave for
22:11
2,569 days in a row! Man,
22:17
I know I can be slow to
22:19
get out of bed in the morning,
22:21
but seven years slow? That's crazy salad!
22:25
It looks like Humphrey
22:27
the Turtle has finally
22:29
begun shuffling forward ever
22:32
so slowly. Barney
22:34
the Sloth seems to have
22:36
woken up now at least,
22:39
and the down-and-out favorite,
22:41
Deborah, is still to
22:43
make a move. So
22:46
why is it that these salamanders
22:49
move at such a glacial pace?
22:51
I mean, does it have something
22:53
to do with their diet maybe?
22:56
Are they eating something super non-nutritious?
22:58
Like my sugar-blasted tart pops, for
23:01
example? Well, not exactly. You
23:03
see, these little guys don't need
23:05
to hurry anywhere. Uh, what
23:07
do you mean? Well, not only
23:09
do these salamanders have no
23:11
natural predator in the wild,
23:14
but they also seem to
23:16
live their whole lives in
23:18
slow motion. Slow motion? Yeah,
23:22
these salamanders can live for up to
23:24
a hundred years, so they've got plenty
23:26
of time to have a good old
23:28
rest. I get
23:31
it. But on top of that,
23:33
Mindy, they also only
23:35
mate once every twelve and
23:37
a half years. Huh, and
23:39
mating is one of the main reasons
23:41
that animals stay mobile or move around
23:44
a lot, to try and find a
23:46
partner to have babies and continue with
23:48
their family tree. Exactly. So
23:50
with these alms not having to
23:52
worry about predators and only having
23:54
to mate every twelve years and
23:56
living until they're almost a hundred
23:58
years old? Well, they don't really
24:01
have to move around much at all. And
24:04
it looks like Deborah, the
24:06
Salamander, is made of stone
24:08
or some such. She's
24:11
still not moving. Although
24:13
Gary the Koala, it appears,
24:15
has woken up and is
24:18
scanning his surroundings for
24:21
something to eat. Ugh.
24:24
Okay, so I get that these Salamanders don't
24:26
have to move around to avoid
24:28
getting eaten by predators? But
24:31
don't they have to move in order to grab
24:33
a bite to eat themselves? Well
24:36
actually, these ombs don't even have to
24:38
move to get their food. They
24:41
simply wait for it to come to them!
24:44
What? Did these
24:46
ombs figure out how to
24:48
order delivery? Well no, actually,
24:50
these ombs use a technique
24:52
known as sit and wait
24:54
to hunt. And let
24:56
me guess, they sit and
24:59
they wait. Yup.
25:02
The ombs pick a good spot to
25:04
hang out at, and then they wait
25:07
for the small crustacean that they feed
25:09
on to come close enough for them
25:11
to move them up rather than
25:13
to use up their energy chasing
25:15
them around. Crustaceans? You mean
25:18
like crabs and lobsters? Man, these
25:20
Salamanders are fancy. Well
25:22
yeah, the crustaceans are in the
25:24
same family as lobsters and crabs,
25:26
but they're much, much smaller. Okay,
25:29
and so these mini seafood
25:31
delicacies, they just walk straight
25:33
into the open salamander mouth?
25:37
Well, basically, yeah, but
25:39
it doesn't just happen overnight. With
25:42
this sort of technique, the
25:44
ombs can sometimes wait one
25:47
or two years between meals.
25:49
Years? Were you kidding me? I
25:51
just had a caviar burrito before we left
25:53
the house and already I'm starving! Yeah,
25:55
I know it sounds crazy, but it
25:57
turns out that Deborah and her whole
26:00
These species are like masters of
26:02
Zen. Yeah, and check it out. She
26:04
still hasn't left restarting block. Still
26:07
very little movement from
26:09
Deborah here. However,
26:12
it looks like Bonnie
26:14
the Sloth is slowly
26:17
beginning to drag himself
26:19
forward. So what
26:21
does the whole thing in this research
26:24
tell us? Well, because these little guys
26:26
move at a slower pace than the rest
26:28
of us, they're also
26:30
more susceptible to things like
26:32
climate change and habitat destruction.
26:35
Ah, and so the researchers are
26:37
hoping that this insight into these
26:40
super slow movers will help to
26:42
keep them safe in the future?
26:44
Exactly, and it'll help to make laws
26:46
to keep them and their habitats safe
26:49
and sound. Well, if some of them are still going
26:51
to be around and kicking in a hundred years, we
26:53
want to make sure that they have a place to
26:55
live. You got it.
26:58
Still not much movement
27:00
here at Snoozefest Arena?
27:04
Oh, excuse me. Still
27:07
anyone's race. Wait,
27:10
is this a race or is it
27:12
like dogs? Oh, it
27:14
is a race. Well, whatever,
27:17
it's still super boring. Aww.
27:22
Yes, Mindy? Do you think this
27:24
race will also be for seven years?
27:27
I mean, will Deborah the Salamander competing
27:30
at all? Oh,
27:32
no, I don't think so, Mindy. Oh, good.
27:34
It'll take much longer than that. What?
27:38
Well, just think about it, Mindy.
27:40
It took the average Olm Salamander
27:42
one year to move just five meters
27:45
or 16 feet. Uh-huh.
27:47
And this is a 100-meter, not a dash. 100
27:52
meters? So
27:54
what's five meters a year? Then carry the
27:56
two, minus one. It's
27:59
going to do it. It'd take Deborah 20
28:01
years to finish this race? Yeah,
28:05
and it could be even longer, Mindy.
28:07
I mean, that would be average, and
28:09
if I know anything about Deborah, well,
28:12
it's that she is far from average.
28:14
Hey, Rod, I don't have 20 years
28:16
of burning this arena! What a thing
28:18
to do! Well, that's perfectly fine, Mindy,
28:21
because it looks like this ticket you
28:23
got me is a multi-day pass, so, uh,
28:25
we can just come back next year for
28:27
my un-birthday and see how far these are.
28:31
Next year? Yeah,
28:33
and the year after that, and the year after
28:35
that, and the year after that, and the year
28:38
after that, and the year after that. The year
28:40
after that. The year
28:42
after that. Grownups,
28:48
if you like Wow in the
28:50
World you can listen early and
28:52
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everyone, thank you so much for hanging out
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