0:00

The replay need to be

0:02

published. Later

0:07

we managed. To

0:09

choose do you may have. Now

0:12

made it weird when they meet whole.

0:15

What's happening weirdos. This is the Nes

0:17

Mitchell who I find to be delightful

0:19

and wildly talented. He has incredible comedy

0:21

albums and specials out your some me

0:23

know him from Saturday Night Live on

0:25

which he was hilarious and he's delightful

0:27

here and hilarious here. I listen to

0:30

his record on the way down and

0:32

I was just so blown away with

0:34

his talent and how improvisational and in

0:36

the moment he is and in this

0:38

conversation he is just that and I'm

0:40

so glad you guys are here! Not

0:42

much to say up top Gotta Feed

0:44

arms.com. For tickets to mature thank you

0:46

thank you thank you thank you thank you

0:49

to everybody who came out to the Netflix

0:51

is a joke vest here in Los Angeles

0:53

on May fourth see I'm still so used

0:55

to promoting it I'll add detail comes right

0:57

back to me but it was an awesome

1:00

show and it was just so moving to

1:02

me that so many people came out. so

1:04

I want to say thank you again to

1:06

everybody the came to that Largo-l A.com If

1:08

you are in the L A area and

1:11

you want to see me do my show

1:13

at Largo Pete Holmes Living at Largo and

1:15

Chicago. And Pennsylvania and Texas all

1:17

and Pete holmes.com Go and check

1:20

that out and that's it guys.

1:22

Let's get into it. Let's enjoy

1:24

it. Let's be. Let's. Be here.

1:27

Together. Get a

1:29

do it he five hour com that guy

1:31

wears. A

1:34

car you that was our

1:36

our car. I went back.

1:39

In. The low side pocket this death

1:41

now and i was like gotta had

1:43

of smell good. At

1:47

him and now I'm ready to knock

1:49

on the door A oh I forgot

1:51

my wedding ring so accurately smell good.

1:53

I also I lost my wedding. you

1:55

know what happened. Actually I lost enough

1:57

weight of my wedding doesn't go for

1:59

you and. Now I buy these bullshit

2:01

wedding. Ring. Afl either. Really My wedding

2:03

staffer? I do them all the time

2:06

there for I do a great to

2:08

lose a wedding ring and not care

2:10

of. I'm like I get these low

2:12

black man's that I see them out

2:14

plastic but they're just they look like.

2:18

I don't know like three for thirty eight thirty

2:20

eight dollars as the were like the ones that

2:22

to hang on alone nail sticking out of a

2:25

board when you're walking past. A

2:28

luxury card on on as bad

2:30

have a flair outdoor plaza. clear

2:32

now because the one that I'm.

2:35

The one messy got me. It.

2:37

Was the this day the

2:40

German silvery black diamond. Thing.

2:43

In and when you perform in it. Is.

2:46

Distracting yeah, I actually like a

2:49

Flex yeah he did I say

2:51

as well There ya go Lady

2:53

to My wife wants everyone to

2:56

know I married and we've Yeah,

2:58

Yeah would actually has as sleazy

3:01

from South America know is I've

3:03

never heard any female involvement in

3:05

the rain Acceptance of them. are

3:07

you know up when we were

3:09

looking and see was pointing us

3:12

at. Mine

3:14

And so my finger did gravitate toward

3:16

oh god, the one that we got.

3:18

but it's is. But then on, the

3:20

what? but on and I'm in a

3:23

nightclub in the improv. Funny bones. that

3:25

light hits it. You

3:27

can actually see those low sparkles yet.

3:30

And air or it's a dust and or

3:32

it's As says are married Mary and that's

3:34

the last thing on what. I'm

3:37

in love with my camera. I don't

3:39

mean allied fast as you for you

3:41

Found as the last thing on com

3:44

Uma money they are trying to say

3:46

I'm married You want like Ray Romano

3:48

married in Oregon like Lane Goals Didn't

3:50

complain. You look like newly married s

3:52

very excited and I'm a decade In

3:54

ten years where it was the Er

3:56

Det was a decade mans a be

3:58

smooth as a decade because of for

4:00

that led up with a decade. That's

4:02

my job isn't my bet. M t

4:04

some men. okay you can have this

4:06

better be ready here. Jamie's over. So

4:08

great I was. She was another so

4:10

so that owner stance like I'm watching

4:12

the west wing of her and her

4:14

watch the west wing spiral or samples

4:16

extra home like I wish there was

4:18

a J B guy because he's like

4:20

us. He represents someone who doesn't know

4:22

it's gonna throw us. We need to

4:24

have a caucus. What's caucus the right?

4:26

What's the syllabus? Human. Oh. A

4:30

group of people get me give the block. This is. Oh

4:33

that will we need. For. Somebody sick I

4:35

get to. Coming up

4:37

echoed process and I was like that

4:39

yeah I would be like thank you

4:41

Now Can I sell your regular Mercy

4:43

Group. Please. Let's has a

4:45

be smooth stories is the day be

4:48

secret arm. Have known

4:50

for our no twenty years now. But.

4:53

No one knows this when no

4:55

one is watching. He. Goes.

4:58

So. Furnace on how's it going and

5:00

I'm like no had is just how

5:02

are you the power your power you

5:05

they from us and like you month

5:07

you know the story I don't even

5:09

know who story this is the Michael

5:11

Jackson somebody said they were like i'm

5:13

gonna change it unless I you how

5:15

I think of it man hours us

5:17

seen as screening room like a dark

5:19

hair room mate who comes in Michael

5:21

Jackson doesn't know he's in there and

5:24

the his and go. Fuck.

5:28

Up a family. Somebody. I

5:31

know I'm not the first to say that, but may

5:33

have. You. Know. I believe

5:35

it. You know why I believe it because I

5:38

was it happened to my voice my a median

5:40

voice absolutely or was of the even found old

5:42

clips of me on you tube not that you'd

5:44

want to be. You could see where I'm like.

5:46

Said. A midwestern accent or I am I

5:48

doing So I was playing with to like

5:50

a for lack of a better way so

5:52

I can like a feminine was kind of

5:54

fight like that. A similar but a little

5:56

flamboyant. My guess I would sex and money

5:58

to be like. A guy

6:00

I don't know how to zan. Yeah,

6:02

I was playing with those levels and

6:05

you see and I'm I'm going to

6:07

put this back to Ryan Gosling Sounds

6:09

like Marlon Brando in Nineteen Seventy Two.

6:11

He sounds like it's from the Bronx

6:13

or something. or her to Canadian, right?

6:15

Pick that voice right? Serve jeebies don't

6:17

at Michael's Donuts. And. And one

6:19

last thing you listen to. like Billie

6:21

Eyeless, you listen to me We were

6:23

he wasn't any singer they picked that

6:26

sound. know everybody sounds like this when

6:28

they saying everybody's sounds real, still bread

6:30

or on those acts. Like

6:35

played with it. Everybody in show business has

6:37

taken a voice and so regular people to. Ah

6:40

fog. Of Chris.

6:43

Chris. Tucker

6:46

non are Chris Tucker assault a

6:48

dell? is dating. Le. Bronze.

6:51

Age Chris. Our

6:53

meals name's Chris Canada. But.

6:57

And Pope. Paul Vi A Paul and

6:59

his man. Rich with all respect for

7:01

his boss. I'm getting I'm getting I'm

7:03

getting Chris Paul make that but I

7:06

know that the same height for it

7:08

if more hearts of but I'm yes

7:10

he was. I'm. So. She's

7:12

a rich bar and I. Ran.

7:14

Into both in elm announce I would receive I

7:16

was up as like a down so I would

7:19

have an egg over. Ah. Waste

7:22

not a hundred years. But I don't know. she was.

7:27

Afraid of further of says

7:29

try to get a sound

7:31

bite around. A

7:35

new record for to our record I wonder

7:37

where and minute clowning. As.

7:40

My jaw as it said no wonder you

7:43

didn't need grants know when I got a

7:45

sub ten clip. At

7:49

the party of this year they're gonna

7:52

this and the shortest sit down to

7:54

clip social club moment for those fads.

7:56

The I'm jealous of our one of

7:58

these. Little. Back house. Want to back

8:00

house? Where. You know I

8:02

can tell your wife doesn't come in here

8:05

much minutes. This is my you know isn't

8:07

that interesting? I used to things so dumb

8:09

that men had their area and now have

8:11

a wife and daughter. So I yeah I

8:13

love it. I wanted a daughter but I

8:15

am outnumbered by f. And

8:17

not that is a while. She's a kid

8:20

out of kids miss previous sense. but I'm

8:22

out numbered and the stuff I want to

8:24

do. I got my garage a little song

8:26

in the garage. my daughter came in. she

8:28

wouldn't go down last night she comes in,

8:31

I'm in the sauna and I'm just watching

8:33

Mission Impossible for half of that. What it

8:35

is This and I'm like, sort. Of

8:39

the dad is the out. had he needs

8:41

a motorcycle in gotten a nice it

8:43

out his his says five and a half

8:46

now and geico i wasn't naked. For any

8:48

of you wondering, although. Who

8:50

cares? You want to get see Probably would negotiate

8:53

and game. Night. And my

8:55

my daughter's just turned five. So.

8:57

Guess who just turned five just went

9:00

on to to.other one is mine. Wow

9:02

but I'm. Yeah. We

9:04

have this extra bedroom. Really?

9:06

Lucked out in a house and west

9:08

hills for the extra bedroom. I'm.

9:12

And I decorated and all nice and we call

9:14

it the Hotel. May reveal. Yeah,

9:16

I always like that isn't the hotel.

9:19

Can. You please I said will you please

9:21

make a door that opens with like

9:23

a black credit card. Debt. Specs

9:25

and you on your the only one

9:28

that has asked to do gonna have

9:30

a key code on that door yeah

9:32

to disturb Flynn They don't like hanging

9:34

out in there and a know I

9:36

swear I'll watch tv and right however

9:39

is to put it how hotel he

9:41

is. On the inside it has the

9:43

very skinny nightstand yeah has the lamp.

9:45

And. Has the very. Clean!

9:48

Ah. Full size bed,

9:51

Ah, Nicely made, just like.

9:54

Yeah. I can on you to yeah and

9:56

stuff. And. In it has the chair.

9:58

That. Nobody would. By unless it was

10:00

in a hotel yeah the head out at little

10:03

sitting chair. And. That's it. That's the

10:05

only thing. And ahead the flat screen, a little desk, There's.

10:07

No desk or a solid boy You

10:10

yeah saying like fight us Little City

10:12

does as plugs in it though plugs

10:14

up tongue a have the outlet with

10:17

the blood when the ah to oh

10:19

thou even you know everybody. Everybody needs

10:21

it, judges men, everybody needs their space

10:24

or wife's face is the rest of

10:26

the house. Fi

10:28

space is that weird laugh so

10:30

hard and little with a record

10:32

of when cause you know I'm

10:34

very happily married. And

10:36

I was laughing. When you like. Ah

10:39

I forget the set up your really really

10:41

good as the enemy from thank you for

10:43

I was wanna say thank you Like and

10:46

not just a natural but your process is

10:48

natural. Yeah so I'm trying to think of

10:50

how to do the job. But. I

10:52

don't know how you did the job. you

10:54

don't have that and idling hi do the

10:56

job. I can tell you don't I did

10:58

the job Every by Andrew watches me says.

11:01

You. Get up there and you start talking.

11:03

I've seen so many Tanzania Yeah he get

11:05

up there and you start talking and then

11:07

you lead them into a joke. The how

11:09

to set up is never the same. Get

11:11

the out is never the same. Yep but

11:14

the laughter is always phone and I'm sure

11:16

you get this constantly so forgive me but

11:18

you sound like a black creature to me.

11:20

I do. Yes, Even for that, you don't

11:22

get that. No. See I went to church

11:24

not every Sunday but I sit you know,

11:26

mad of him as part of us and.

11:29

Doesn't matter if a black area of her and

11:31

will not go authentic. Boston. Boston

11:33

hours. it's uses the only animals know I

11:35

know. Why would you know that you know

11:37

matter been know we don't all know. Each

11:40

other's towns. Times that have we

11:42

don't I'm glad ah have been

11:44

aflac robbed a bank that I

11:46

know about him the muslims call

11:48

the town I'm obsessive down and

11:50

he fell in love with a

11:52

bank teller. Without. Sin that's in

11:54

Cambridge and that was in Cambridge. yeah thats

11:56

not near Pat Pat a pan for to

11:58

com o that charleston. Charles. Him.

12:01

Out how to draw three with that Because I

12:03

got to Boston. Grabbing. We

12:05

did a sack all star com a damn about in

12:07

Boston right? We didn't do it and matter been. I

12:09

was looking for black red. I will eat. Don't want

12:11

to resign as if you knew it is. I want

12:13

a black. Man is

12:15

a little I don't. I'm like Oakland yarns

12:18

I guess. I. Oh okay okay like about

12:20

that's all I was going for. I threw

12:22

out a hail Mary so you could be

12:24

likely. Yes, You

12:27

you would say that as a role I'm

12:30

a block and situation. I don't know what

12:32

it's like now but back then I felt

12:34

very cool that I went to church and

12:36

mad of and sometimes office and specifically I

12:38

mean. You. Open his

12:40

year record by being like. He.

12:43

Did to me. You know, like it

12:45

sounds like an invocation. A sounds like a

12:47

preacher. Ready your target.

12:49

About the word you target about you bring

12:51

it is in. It's really wonderful but in

12:53

the same way. Let me bring this back

12:55

for her to stand up. A. Black

12:58

Preacher. like the one that I had of

13:00

the shirts with the same thing is like

13:02

we're. We're not doing when. Why

13:04

Preachers or my passerby like hello yes I

13:06

do that now under and comic View but

13:08

it be like the morning right and morning

13:10

phrases. it would be like that rivalry I

13:12

was the ones on comic view was one

13:15

hundred percent right right? Preachers do be like

13:17

the Wicked The Sega watch him at ten

13:19

Am. the watch him or the nine Am

13:21

and watch Mckenna the eleven him same surname

13:23

from you got the sense. Not is

13:25

a sense. You knew this dude was

13:27

in a slow and that's what I

13:29

feel like you're doing the and then

13:32

it comes a little bit vocally and

13:34

I was curious if you went to

13:36

church is I rubbed off on you

13:38

but sorta like a or what Obama

13:40

did to start winning elections which was

13:42

go to black churches. Get. Deck

13:44

Charismatics wagon you have delivery yeah

13:46

as what you were doing before.

13:49

That. Ivy Leagues, it wasn't. Resonating,

13:51

And connecting with Law your is

13:53

strong and so yeah. You

13:56

know, when I'm. And.

13:58

Like you said, the difference between a

14:00

black preacher anna? You. Know

14:02

or white comic or even when I

14:04

see comics with notes. Like

14:07

always when I am that com a lesson

14:09

in the comedy club my to him to

14:11

come from have enough of for you are

14:13

people like me that when I do that

14:16

but he really do it all year if

14:18

i grabbed my i grabbed the of britain's

14:20

book and use it of see he already

14:22

don't like to be touched the fantasy say

14:24

it is safe. nobody's

14:27

about of salvage and he looked up his i.

14:34

Discuss and up to do that but I'm

14:36

a black Breaches delivery or must stand up

14:38

yet as the same because what about drive

14:40

in a allow those days In the first

14:43

thing I said. I was

14:45

driving down a four o five wondering. Was.

14:47

His whole fifteen minutes it worth it

14:50

you know, enemy and then I'm gonna

14:52

be okay. But while he was at

14:54

the can I please I'm I'm I'm

14:56

I love that so much. Does bring

14:59

a little now. let's hook before at

15:01

the beginning was hooked before into this.

15:03

sometimes I like there's a i saw

15:05

if it's gone bad at the crowds.

15:08

Actually I found parking for this year.

15:10

I mean like to something that can

15:12

like a defensive months read something about.

15:15

Anything that happen to one of the things

15:18

I loved while living in New York with

15:20

something would happen. Manga was my without a

15:22

doubt. Not. Like you're stand

15:24

up because not only does it feel.

15:28

Genuinely. Authentic him passionate

15:30

to you. But.

15:32

It's funny and his mouth force.

15:35

And you come across like. I'll

15:37

give a fuck are you don't like

15:39

it does make sense to me and

15:42

and and I'm gonna connect with the

15:44

people that like it makes sense to

15:46

me too. But you know they're the

15:48

people that like pussy, you know, enemy

15:50

and your life. Lucky that yeah fuck

15:52

fuck you fuck her Yeah And when

15:54

you tell these jokes and your delivery

15:56

and to pay off under such. thing

15:59

as. Ah, because you feel

16:01

you, see it begs there

16:04

and. Is great yard rates

16:06

and I really appreciate it know

16:08

I am. I really

16:10

love that die. But isn't that

16:12

it? And. I heard that in your

16:14

in your record as well is like an

16:17

ownership of who you are and like I

16:19

don't mean to make this all black stuff

16:21

but like I feel like what black rooms

16:24

which I am I coming up on nothing

16:26

came of them. Did you come up like

16:28

rooms just have a black rooms people like

16:30

what's the secret and it seemed to me

16:33

they were authenticity they wanted to be real

16:35

they didn't want you to be sake So

16:37

you you're saying about me at least some

16:39

being who I am right Salim I was

16:42

telling a guy named Jack. Ah,

16:45

just worked with him and. Pretty

16:48

good as. His name. To check unsafe.

16:50

But doesn't offer thousand working with

16:52

them up and at the Pittsburgh

16:54

and prof from Australia. Very funny

16:56

guy but he had his bit.

16:59

Where. You know the Fish Out award a

17:01

bit but he's like i'm so happy to

17:03

be in America you know I was fat

17:05

and poor in Australia and the over here

17:07

I'm just pour the Ff and in up

17:09

there and then v he gets to the

17:11

middle of his act in he says you

17:13

know I had my first conversation with a

17:15

black woman the other day. And

17:17

I'm like in cook ware is is going and

17:20

he goes here we were at a Taco Bell.

17:22

I'm like. Yes,

17:24

he was work at a Taco Bell

17:26

on my gripe to visit. Very bad

17:28

of Reign of Back or. Rock

17:32

or It but I have a.the joke know

17:34

the other is that the Joke is a

17:36

great power for the mega until his oh

17:38

yeah. But the the joke is

17:40

a great pay off an ice and I

17:42

am. When he came off days I said

17:45

are you know I'm. You. Didn't

17:47

talk to your first black woman and

17:49

you didn't have a conversation with your

17:51

first black woman. Yeah says say I

17:54

had a conversation with black right? Because

17:56

nobody black is gonna believe. You've

17:58

never. Taught to or. Right

18:00

you? For that, you're talking to A or

18:02

you're trying to treat a like that's an

18:04

alien. right? Well. That that

18:06

his way or another economic yen As are you

18:09

making it right? Black

18:11

Woman I said them in those jokes

18:13

are so long gone. Twenty years ago

18:15

the Ravens re et al right arm

18:17

would you agree though that like. It's

18:20

some Bill Burr used to say what you do a

18:22

lot of black rooms. He was like. I'm

18:25

across south and it was like but he

18:27

said what it was was. He. Would

18:29

be. Himself. My head when

18:31

not across all. right? I agree. Real,

18:33

I agree. We. Love real shit

18:35

right? Say. It. Even.

18:37

Of even of. Bill. Was like

18:40

i don't fucking skinhead We black, We

18:42

see it. As

18:45

I just find I've survived

18:47

what I say. Let.

18:50

Me why we judge what did aplomb

18:52

and I say put a.on a couple

18:54

of save it was it might be

18:56

a specified off there's. No

18:59

Guilty. Me, my life, The. Professor

19:02

of a skillful reveal a black

19:04

why do at home So ah.

19:07

What was? Going back up

19:09

a thought about it. No, I started in

19:11

Miami. Miami. Florida.

19:14

Oh I did Black rooms but.

19:16

The. Mainstream rooms, The Improv and

19:18

everything. Cubans, Jewish,

19:20

Jamaicans, Blacks, Whites hastens, everybody

19:23

was in. Yeah, Oh yeah,

19:25

and I think that helped

19:27

me. So. That when I did

19:29

move back to Atlanta and there was the

19:31

Uptown Comedy club which was the back black

19:34

lab in in the punchline out their own

19:36

Roswell Road. I was like you know

19:38

what? I want to learn to

19:40

make white people out for my father. Always they

19:42

make look make why people ask me why people

19:44

laugh you know how to me black people have

19:46

you been making this house laugh all your life

19:49

name white people and oh I'm so them when

19:51

I started going out to the punch line and

19:53

I was actually getting up more at upon smile

19:55

because eggs cannot block and at the black clubs

19:57

about who's on gas station arm. As.

20:00

You know, enemy toadies? mainstream jokes

20:02

about Home Depot. And

20:04

Hurricanes right and out that I started telling

20:06

the Black Struggle right in a writer and

20:08

that's what I always try to notice that

20:10

yeah you'd a big I go to deliver

20:12

an absolute nobody put the i mean no

20:14

one would have money or other yeah my

20:17

father said if you learn to may he

20:19

did. You know Bob Hope is see I

20:21

think so so you'd make everybody laugh and

20:23

military disco. Air base the base the base

20:25

make a military people laugh Now listen he

20:27

became big Tv thing in Aus annual now

20:29

twice a year. Now is almost every quarter

20:31

you see Bob Hope do so from. From

20:33

military base he said make make America last

20:36

in because you not I'm a black people

20:38

laugh and that way when I did go

20:40

to a room when I saw a diverse

20:42

crowd or all why krauts more punch him

20:45

in a jolly the way. And.

20:47

I'm not on com and work. Because

20:50

that's the one thing I do not like

20:52

they're black comics do is that we will

20:54

go into a mainstream room and we will

20:56

switch nothing up. Because we think

20:58

is about us. And we think they

21:00

they are to see us but they're also they

21:02

are there to see you but it is. See

21:05

this or so and a so you're given him

21:07

his that you're saying. This. Is.

21:10

This is me. But. My

21:12

when a why the and when when you

21:14

say to n word but when white people

21:16

look at it, they don't look at it

21:18

like-your point of view they say that's how

21:21

they all talk. Oh interesting, Absolutely. There's like

21:23

are. You It's not fair and

21:25

he didn't ask for it, but there's a

21:27

little bit of a representation. Erupted: Absolutely your

21:29

p Because you know year what you have

21:31

your white comics autopsy. And

21:35

know I wouldn't say as a stop from

21:37

i have a conversation. Don't tell me not

21:39

saying that moses too many songs out there

21:41

with the day of a Word of the

21:44

Top they hadn't known failure to. I just

21:46

have a bit like I was there. Anything

21:48

weirder than asking for that jersey com yes

21:50

I ask a Alexa the player right ago

21:52

Access. Play. Paris.

21:57

Say Paris Terror.

22:00

The young han yea in Jersey

22:02

or in Paris played Nicaraguans and

22:04

Doris. I enjoy pricey picks about

22:06

using a bit bigger than Paths.

22:09

That. I'm pretty sure volume up

22:11

a copy of you Say It

22:13

Still say Now Playing and Words

22:15

in Paris Usa. See. Warfare or

22:17

Now and I did. The tag was I knew

22:20

Alexa was like. A

22:22

sudden wouldn't feel it would be like

22:24

Adele Friday or was right yard or

22:26

I'd So about what are they say

22:28

They say i don't say it but

22:30

they said they sat on. Say it.

22:32

But the fact that comics literally see

22:34

your it's. And. Here's the thing

22:36

as it and I always tell black comics

22:38

who asks us A man I see so

22:41

many white comics Come to a black room

22:43

Think and Garryowen and you not Gharial. Garryowen.

22:46

Was actually born black. It.

22:48

Will be revealed later in life. snogging ah

22:50

ah ah ah. Know how often is a

22:52

master at is crap but I see too

22:54

many white com is getting nervous or just

22:57

here jam at the end of a comedy

22:59

night or mole better at the beginning of

23:01

a comedy. I think they gotta switch up

23:03

a whole at the age when know we

23:05

want to laugh at jokes that made you

23:08

funny run that the jokes you thinking about

23:10

walk into the stage that you're gonna connect

23:12

mit right on a feel every time. or

23:14

would you tell me. I'm. Ready

23:17

to be wrong and. It

23:19

seems like. It. Reminds

23:21

me of hip hop. two things in

23:23

black culture: hip hop and black comedy

23:25

that say confidence seems to be like

23:28

a huge thing, even if you're going

23:30

to be Moby and low energy. I'm

23:32

not saying everybody has to be out

23:34

there. gone gone Kevin Hart Big One,

23:36

but you gotta. Would. You say that

23:38

the the audiences are little bit more like. Bring.

23:42

Some sort of energy. Bring some sort

23:44

of their bring you bring you and

23:46

don't be afraid of yeah, We.

23:48

Went when you get up there in front

23:51

of a black audience and okay, earth is

23:53

a third one and a some black com

23:55

as a script. Scared of burglaries and so

23:57

we know you're terrified. They

24:00

already know. Gather Citroen yourself a

24:02

bubble birth defect in a bizarre

24:04

hip hop America? Too bad bust

24:06

out no winner. Play this, you

24:08

like your app along through it

24:10

and I'm this summer for an

24:12

hour with come out that a

24:14

rap music and easily thank you

24:16

Dj who you are Correct, the

24:18

crowd nearby doesn't. Get

24:20

on and says due to sit that

24:23

you know was funny Yeah, instead of

24:25

improvise and because you don't even have.

24:28

Said eight out of ten. Chance you don't crash and burn.

24:30

The and and what I used to do in

24:33

most like rooms. Is tell

24:35

my fucking jokes Yeah And then

24:37

alas, no only chip in the

24:39

cookie know that by the way,

24:41

anybody wanted. Was. Nine outta Ten comics

24:43

when I was on the road. If it was won by

24:45

guys are on the only two of them in Cook. I

24:47

got a dope when. I got a dope

24:50

when and I came out last. sometimes I

24:52

will go into a room and three seconds

24:54

for thick as into the so I can

24:56

to sit there and and the biggest joke

24:58

is not saying anything he just jonas. And

25:02

people to start last: Yes, you ain't'

25:04

gotta say it unless they. Will.

25:07

I don't know how does Congo I'm hurt his back

25:09

until none of my people got the email. Oh

25:13

yes. In

25:15

an otherwise i'm a bit yes but

25:17

you know where once you find those

25:19

bit. You. Know are outside, Go into

25:21

a conservative audience. You know to me that

25:23

I can look back until. Well.

25:26

Guys are a Hope no one's disappointed about

25:28

the some about do because if you're expecting

25:30

a really urban super street comic and as

25:33

my me I just came alive to Jesus

25:35

Christ. But then

25:37

gave right back. Ah,

25:40

Mau. sick of like damn I can get

25:42

a critical or price ah ah ah ah

25:44

ah. out of a credit card or guy

25:46

is safer. A few other things is good

25:48

and this is you know it's so funny

25:51

how the brain wants to the like, is

25:53

that black? How is that? Did we follow

25:55

your advice or you figure out why people

25:57

average that? Just funny and that's a cobbler

25:59

am. I'm not going like with oh you

26:01

figured out it's funny. Though. Burst is funny.

26:04

You know what? That's what I'm here

26:06

is is funny when I listened you

26:08

what Cel Black to me was I

26:10

was like deliver The delivery the cadence

26:12

the material was not. What?

26:14

Out which by the way, what were common

26:16

any other job. Gotta. Talk about

26:18

those I'd rather. So what are some on your

26:21

album? I thought it was great and actually want

26:23

to. I think I can make you feel good

26:25

about it. Maybe. Ever

26:27

Joe called suck better. And

26:29

he's a sorry about like. It's.

26:32

A Real Housewives on Orange County So rich

26:34

as she says real shit for as he

26:36

goes. If you're going to suck a dick

26:38

make sure to test to a billionaire and

26:40

he off on that map and then you

26:42

like as good advice and then at least

26:44

his hotel. When I going to do I'm

26:46

saying smoke. That's good advice I'm I tell

26:48

my daughter that can ride Yeah because you

26:50

don't suck. You might as

26:52

well defined as you don't like. I'm

26:54

gonna suck at least two to find

26:56

out before I leave. Suck a dick

26:58

attached to a boat as well as

27:00

a sex worker dig up boat. Did.

27:03

Say. About those out there and

27:05

unaware of Range Rover. And

27:07

then you lied for to have one of these because

27:09

you're going to have to move at least twice in

27:11

your life or is it any differently Checks it was

27:13

great So you kept saying suck better and actually possum

27:15

drive and I was listening to it on the drive

27:17

them. And I saw the truck

27:19

was called suck Better and you told me on the

27:21

way in the you meant. To. Say the

27:24

joke is suck high sec high the Joe

27:26

has the joke has been suck high game

27:28

hundred years later Like aim high message on

27:30

her at that You know I'm going to

27:32

say that my things like better that. We're.

27:35

Blessed besides means do badly. Rather

27:37

so, it's kind of funny. like

27:39

suck better. But. Zoc hi,

27:41

I don't know, that's a nap. Preacher

27:43

delivery. Yeah. Stuff. Sit in

27:46

your size down here. So ah,

27:48

Here. And I'll tell

27:50

you when those keep up your. You

27:53

are a t cerebral Here you are either

27:55

desire that is a teaser it out of

27:58

for other side of hundreds looks like like

28:00

configured said better was I mean on high

28:02

You have no clue what that means. It

28:05

sounds like a weed things which is

28:07

see yeah but that's my point. Suck

28:09

better. Because it's it is in the

28:11

record uses Legacy. Be glad that she takes him.

28:13

Not Rog but that the one that you recorded

28:15

the way. Now we need a black woman in

28:17

here. I think there's a Taco Bell around. Lot.

28:21

Of the on the fond of of

28:23

i'm Not rapper ago as a mother

28:25

of of of of muscle we ago

28:27

you know even even even. That's

28:30

that that special was called Spirit Toman tell

28:32

you. Set out to

28:34

Brian Book Weiss Comedy Dynamics don't

28:36

a special for me, but it

28:38

was a one. It was a

28:41

one so special. And. Using

28:43

one, just one. I am

28:45

so impressed. One, it was a Thursday

28:47

night they will like it was a

28:49

Thursday and allies in Glendale. Go.

28:52

Out there for ness Ama opener.

28:55

And I forgot to tell them the dim

28:57

the lights on the crowd I'm staring at,

28:59

everybody's staring back at me and I'm just

29:01

like. From

29:04

what I did say, you don't seem

29:06

nervous. Do that. at least that hour

29:08

and fifteen minutes since you don't have

29:10

to. Cells Yeah, so have you gotta

29:12

cut something out? Your have something? you

29:14

have an hour wiggle room. And

29:17

so are. I wasn't even smart enough to go

29:19

back out and say hey guys were going to

29:21

arm after the South We're going to do this

29:23

one thing I just didn't I didn't do any

29:25

of it. Yeah, that part of the So. I

29:28

was nervous about. I was nervous about I

29:30

can't believe no debt are really gets nothing

29:33

at it from nothing to know. I'm gonna

29:35

go from minutes seven to minute eighteen but

29:37

he up in a go from so one

29:39

the so to you don't. I.

29:42

Really See, I don't know I am complimenting my

29:44

compliment, but there's only so many of us that

29:46

will know exactly what you did. I listen to

29:48

it today and I was like it does not

29:50

feel like a guy. Who's you know?

29:53

Playing. With scared money you like God why

29:55

me tell you something my friend. Ah, there's

29:57

one in the chamber. Cause. The

30:00

offensive. Your. Name as I

30:02

saw it, it. Almost.

30:04

Two years ago. thinking.

30:07

That. Okay,

30:10

Netflix? This that that.

30:12

Further, Took me about five or six months

30:14

to get to it to start editing. To start

30:17

the editing process and then I just wanted you

30:19

know, be meticulous with it's can. I did have

30:21

to cells and then I was just like I'm

30:23

right. Moves. I'm gonna

30:25

call. Lorne Michaels and tell him

30:28

the Cove. Netflix know but everything's took

30:30

so long I'll settle for a method for

30:32

do a whole year when by than a

30:34

year and a half went by and am

30:36

just like. What's. That do a

30:38

dispenser because I'm talking about cove it for

30:40

seventy minutes and the back of expensive and

30:42

I'm dislike. And. I was like

30:45

to spend on you to put on youtube but. Comics.

30:48

Sometimes we get an hour away. Sometimes.

30:50

We say i ah don't like the way

30:52

my collar was sticking out. your needs are

30:55

met him and you need someone else is

30:57

these young cats Is the young influences that

30:59

look at you like to put now yeah

31:01

people don't care. yeah not sure if they

31:03

don't care for them either. Special agent to

31:06

encourage you have the me neither but. My.

31:08

Comedy Central special Nice Try the Devil is

31:10

on Comedy Central they put her on you

31:12

tube they asked that was nice. I was

31:15

like can we split the. Ad

31:17

remy sit down. At

31:19

his via with had ruined no no we're asking

31:21

just kind of like a D might have I

31:23

put this ham and your trunk or going to

31:25

put it down at abbey and possess vessel is

31:27

are in film is under attack can we put

31:30

our special effects of for I need to defend

31:32

this is just a courtesy about honestly I get

31:34

it out like lot more people are going to

31:36

see it make you please put on you to

31:38

see are you know what as as a kind

31:40

of what are my you to as well that's

31:42

actually I didn't say can we split the address

31:44

august to compromise on the Centers for Disease is.

31:47

It goes on you tube This

31:49

a special. It. You know I

31:51

don't do top of the stuff, but as old and

31:53

you know I looked if Renaissance, that's different kind of

31:55

voice. Proud of it? Too perverse. did you know it's.

31:58

As if I hadn't found my. With completely yet

32:00

edited great. So I'm just saying like

32:03

who cares? Who cares, Nobody knows when

32:05

anything comes out right? Crashing came out

32:07

and whatever. Ten years ago we were,

32:09

they just found out there like soon.

32:12

as his own right, nobody knows the

32:14

Royals anything. So yeah put, I need

32:16

to. Also what your story made me

32:18

think of is like. And.

32:20

Forty. I'm turning forty five this month and I'm like

32:22

I'm really getting new point in my office People to

32:24

you look like. John Ritter Chance Black people

32:26

say I look like John Ritter You want to know it

32:29

was represent what I say They'll kill my. Daddy.

32:31

There is no Bi Re so I

32:33

do see that too. But I see

32:35

Val Kilmer who didn't make it to

32:37

the Air Force Academy. Hilarious. Val.

32:40

Kilmer if he couldn't do a polar

32:42

as he couldn't play volleyball. Yeah was

32:45

our killer and Arrows are put your

32:47

search on a producer. I've. Ever

32:51

watched are jiggling for third on

32:53

a British you on have been.

32:55

There was one of the hog

32:57

farm moped. Decoder

33:01

at o y a.

33:05

R and the As. but I'm.

33:08

Oh. I did a movie would a

33:10

son who welcome recent know ah Jason

33:12

Ritter. Oh John Ritter some yeah.

33:15

And. Ah so that that look in his

33:17

moves because I was a huge from a

33:19

huge enters into Three's Company fan and and

33:21

you just looked at me and I was

33:23

like. God is a

33:25

of a why do I sound like

33:28

him yeah I got it. So my

33:30

scholars assessing the soon as you said

33:32

i'm son of pharma voice and a

33:34

much sound like is yeah you know

33:36

local area I do know i look

33:38

like flat people go google three than

33:41

anthony or write or are bad santa.

33:44

I. Yeah like everybody loves bad Cameo

33:46

Bass and I both from tried it. What's

33:48

a movie that can bring all the people

33:50

that everybody again. On

33:52

us and we the next. Oh

33:54

you need people So in my

33:56

office I now right down my

33:58

team. I don't. In my employees I

34:01

mean like who are the people idea

34:03

throttle You know I'd assume say I

34:05

don't mean employer out of carries on

34:07

it now current right? Al Qaeda Levine

34:09

she shows up for me she's she's

34:11

a great person. Chris there he opened

34:13

for me for years we watch my

34:15

special we you were you time code

34:17

You needed somebody else right? Like you

34:19

like lox. I'm not is not.

34:22

Advice is is solidarity. You film a special.

34:24

you can't go and watch it. You can't

34:26

be the first one to put a cut

34:28

together. Someone else has to do that and

34:30

then he can watch. It may be of

34:32

I mean I mean I'm one thousand present

34:35

disagree. You don't agree. I do now know

34:37

then you do. You pass. I'll talk about

34:39

your first cat aka you you hesitate to

34:41

how many months. Yeah. That's.

34:44

Because you don't want to look at our roster

34:46

I don't want to look at it to the

34:48

I am right there with you are all my

34:50

specials Frame by frame cut by cut My Me

34:52

in the at it. But. Like I

34:54

get that paralysis I'm talking about. You

34:57

are a you know what Chris Rock said about like.

34:59

Taking a a comedian admit giving him

35:02

a Tv show. you know those lines

35:04

because it's like taking a waiter. The

35:06

best way to reference giving him a

35:08

restaurant says the same thing. You're amazing

35:10

a Santa, Why should you also be

35:13

incredible? It be like all right Monday.

35:15

I'm a civilian that edit Bay Riots

35:17

not are skill right not or skill

35:19

I'll I'll I For one love editing.

35:22

I don't know why it's with me so

35:24

long, I just I just knew that Greats

35:27

that night was so great! Is. Felt

35:29

so magical! I was so proud

35:31

of myself and. I.

35:33

Think when I saw hall.

35:36

Like. The first ten minutes houses like.

35:40

Look at all the sweat I'm sweaty.

35:43

Omnipresence it up with a sinner today

35:45

when I wish who vulnerable seventy seven

35:47

hundred along with one and a couple

35:49

of months later or what? So to.

35:51

No. Sweat the entire so soon as I

35:54

put the focus more on it was i'm

35:56

nervous energy bro use as well. just like

35:58

over jacked up and shit on on the

36:00

for so no my guy so. When.

36:03

I found my eye color corrected. Do

36:05

it. Always sit up the editing back

36:07

and forth and he does all the

36:09

netflix vessels and he's like spray good

36:11

night and I'll laugh. A lot of

36:13

seen everybody. Pretty good you

36:15

I When i said thank you he said

36:18

i'm from it's success with when he me.

36:20

Is. On your that. What I saw.

36:23

Is it? Displayed

36:28

a. Teacher

36:31

says a tracksuit and

36:33

it just totally remove

36:36

the sweat. And it was

36:38

just like is it look like makeup is? it's look

36:40

like you can even tell that was like. Holy

36:43

shit do are probably sounds. Sit

36:45

for an hour before much as

36:47

lights. Oh moon over Super to

36:49

switch Oh May Wow! There are

36:51

other comedians from Martin Lawrence to

36:54

everybody Special wrist trends. Were in

36:56

love of Tude Louise. Rents has

36:58

a sweat same on his belly.

37:00

On of his best specials. He

37:02

liked to see the same. You

37:04

realize it's getting bigger. as the

37:07

show goes on, his stomach is

37:09

sweating. Yeah that's. At

37:11

N N and I realize what a wonderful idea

37:13

measure you put new work, all people expect

37:15

you to switch and balances. But.

37:18

Now it's like okay, fucking, witness it out,

37:20

put it on you tube probably put it

37:22

out May first are you to and we

37:24

just go run with it because the next

37:27

month. Is. All in my head

37:29

and I'm ready to go do our as and the

37:31

next and zombie about thirty minutes but this house it.

37:35

Must stress about. Why?

37:37

Did we make these that? Why don't we make him

37:39

an hour? We made it up. Did he just he?

37:41

Dan Soder? Know and so to put on

37:43

you tube. Great specials called on the road. I left the

37:45

whole time. okay when does that happen right? You know your

37:47

com a he put it on yelling. And.

37:49

The I loved him but I like out of you

37:52

want to see how he opens their as want to

37:54

watch how he opens I love how com as open

37:56

I'm obsessed with swell. Forty. Minutes later

37:58

know break know. In the i

38:00

was alone to I mean all either com as

38:02

alone not even really in the mood lab the

38:05

whole time. My point as. Forty. Minutes.

38:07

Now you know why. Who. Cares Doesn't

38:10

Care is one Care. Who Cares is what.

38:12

Out by his round it

38:14

myself with influencers and people

38:17

under thirty that was like.

38:19

Who. Give up. Your is an excellent.

38:22

You. Gotta feed the beast. Didn't care about

38:24

that actual thing because it was already great.

38:26

Me was already ford in it, but they

38:28

were like. And we've been are

38:30

demar yeah and I'm like oh I

38:32

get it you guys at all where

38:34

about care about the Rpf area with

38:36

us it's are you go that route

38:38

he watch especially the any positives is

38:40

yellow was. Deaf. Yeah he got

38:43

like do they do it and honestly. Not

38:45

recently No damn but you know maybe

38:47

ten years ago so without a specialist

38:49

sites sixty minutes and like couldn't quite

38:52

do a good idea. Is it technically

38:54

are hour long special? is it or

38:56

d one of the count the credits

38:58

yeah he did a new our have

39:00

camping credit yes sire oh that interest

39:02

you had were you when your mom's

39:04

house in that everybody was hold hands

39:06

of the dinner table the i was

39:08

seven minutes homebody the I would aid

39:11

and to the our yeah i just

39:13

now on netflix you yeah road it

39:15

our. Our day care. Less.

39:17

Yeah no I will divide I'm into different same

39:19

way to talk about from. What

39:22

you mean when he has a novice yeah when

39:24

is that are you may give back and office.

39:27

Yeah. I know what America's doing, What you

39:29

mean. I mean Trump will be

39:31

outta there bro. He would be Aditya. I mean. Would.

39:33

You mean it, Be out of there. He

39:36

he he, he wouldn't even be considered

39:38

a serious candidate. But. I

39:40

thought about. Are. We really.

39:43

Are he really so against aids or

39:46

we such like in our community where

39:48

realizes he and with Hillary found out

39:50

as sexist we absolutely biden. We're finding

39:52

out how eight as we are and

39:54

we are right like a real caviar.

39:58

Is he dies If he crow. If

40:00

he actually actionaid president.

40:04

The first black woman President? Yeah, we

40:06

don't want Hillary in their savvy. Damn

40:08

we walk. Caitlyn? Yeah, and that's what

40:10

I realized. Oh no way. There's so

40:13

many do like. You

40:15

know? Hell no. Oh that's what's going

40:17

on at times. you going going going.

40:19

a vote for Biden is a vote

40:21

for the first black female. Absolutely. See.

40:24

Even connect those that see and I don't know

40:26

if. I. Don't know I guess the for

40:29

anybody but I bet there are people that

40:31

feel that way and don't even know that.

40:33

That's what I fiasco like an unconscious because

40:35

on my way to me racist sexist feel

40:37

I understand Trump should be very niche. Yeah.

40:40

But he sit and be like able to

40:42

take over the entire party and put a

40:44

relative in charge of the are and sees.

40:47

Yeah. Checkbook? yeah. like where are

40:49

the where are these people Does

40:52

is like this is everything right?

40:54

Who does that? Some like where?

40:56

whereabouts? her and I'm not a

40:58

big Nicky fan. Bases. Capable

41:01

of doing a job. Nikki, Haley and

41:03

A you have some other quacks, but

41:05

they're capable. And. Anybody

41:07

actually could be. Biden.

41:10

In my opinion, by mean if they

41:12

ran against democratic party could be by

41:14

new things. Oh absolutely. I worry that

41:16

most people are just like don't change

41:18

a horse midstream they're like I feel

41:20

like that's. But you know, like

41:22

for oxy wisdom, look out. For. Now

41:24

that without, but now now you're stuck.

41:27

Right, You got all your Carson is one

41:29

basket. Out and ninety. One.

41:32

Counts he did eight of. Yeah,

41:34

you know, enemy So. It

41:37

didn't say the a bit. Yeah,

41:39

fail Magnum. The yeah so is

41:41

like are at nine. What is

41:43

the what is the big drawbacks

41:45

to have an old grandpa. Com.

41:50

Os Black. Yeah,

41:52

got it. You know that Santana

41:55

bet with does push? I'm. Gonna.

42:00

Depressive. I remember him a little

42:02

push hard as the murderers of black

42:04

female prisoner skimmer. Push your one pursuing

42:07

an Israeli money. And see

42:09

was like the first woman. Out

42:11

of it. Out. Of the race when

42:13

they all ran for president yeah she was

42:15

the first one like no money, no structure

42:18

know great see the oh great message He

42:20

has some great sound bites when you were

42:22

prosecuted people on blu panels and yeah look

42:25

clip and everybody's were Cory Booker was like

42:27

yeah got below clips and that the i'm

42:29

about to like we Run and but. She.

42:32

Was the first one out and Joe Biden did

42:34

the same thing that Obama did. Yeah.

42:37

Obama said. Who. Do they hate

42:39

more than me? right? Nobody.

42:41

Likes so. But you gotta like Joe because

42:44

he's been here for forty years and you

42:46

know shit about everybody I am didn't gel.

42:48

That's right. And the Indo with a lot

42:50

of him Obama run around for eight years,

42:52

right? Not even a slingshot that even have

42:54

a name Iraq, Me and Brown, right? right?

42:56

But they're like cel know the Joe Biden,

42:58

right? So oh interesting is that a pic

43:00

of vice President. Oh

43:02

wow. I guess we're saying two things. One,

43:05

you gotta pick one that they don't wanna

43:07

take over, but also you gotta pick one

43:09

that. They. Don't want a take

43:11

over, not look like you're gonna die

43:13

soon right? accident? You gotta look like

43:15

as if you're a healthy for and

43:17

your vice president it'll it'll on the

43:19

right I think even Trump. add that

43:21

know pence. Yeah nobody want to. Probably

43:23

once tense and the thing about pants

43:25

is that I offer. I think pants

43:27

had to be the biggest yes man.

43:30

Might. In politics. I'm.

43:34

The. Conservative. The conservatism of Pence was just

43:36

like unmatched. You know you com your

43:38

mom other you know how to sit

43:40

like these of unmanaged is is flies

43:42

Loved him everybody love yeah I remember

43:45

that fly Reddit I remember that last

43:47

one of my best my my pens

43:49

looks like a clear gummy bear that's

43:51

on if I sort of like that

43:53

is there of I didn't even bother

43:55

saying is so why is it a

43:57

better here than Jimmy Johnson You'd never

43:59

sad. The gotta say that. But

44:01

the thing is is that it

44:03

took you this long. To. Come

44:05

out and finally say yeah, Don't think I'd

44:08

vote for trump. But.

44:10

Why he has he says nut. Or

44:12

is it. says. Say he told people

44:14

it's okay to hang Huber. Young.

44:16

They were actually channing that and so right?

44:19

Yeah right. he tried to get me i'm

44:21

a family to have to say I know,

44:23

yeah I would say it right And s

44:25

that authenticity. I feel like when black. People.

44:28

Go. To comedy shows. We.

44:30

Wanna see? And. Hear you say

44:32

your last. No job, they don't yet as we

44:34

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it. Is get back to the up. Know.

49:01

I know, and that's that's what I've seen

49:03

comedy to turn into volume up on and that's

49:05

a lesson that I've taken from com I

49:07

said. I admire Bill being one of them,

49:09

but just like. Now. I

49:11

can have less tolerance for it. Mind like.

49:14

Just. Could say nicer it and what is

49:16

Bill do best He says he says I was

49:18

on stage I and you know it's gray. Our

49:20

added a store this week. And

49:22

sorry about how I don't have sex on

49:24

Valentine's Day as I just think that's why

49:26

I'm here and nobody's telling me a fuck

49:28

my wife or a hard time say I'd

49:30

I'd like Is there anything sadder than being

49:32

like I gotta? I gotta do It is

49:35

a middle of February I go fuck Hallmark,

49:37

somebody kill your family and I did a

49:39

like I didn't want a few and far

49:41

right with that. So fond of Allied Air.

49:43

It's play because I was a i don't

49:45

get Drunk on St. Patrick's Day. Sounds like

49:47

on Valentine's Day I didn't want anyone telling

49:49

me when to do anything moments but like

49:51

you go too far. To say I'm

49:53

going to kill your family Hallmark Video and

49:55

then that's the joke. Rexburg, Idaho A Do

49:57

Harper, They need any later in the bit.

50:00

They're going to kill you family. Say it

50:02

again. Riot Again, right about corporations that have

50:04

the right away that it's just like I've

50:06

been inspired by. I. Mean,

50:08

have you noticed that same trend? Seems a

50:11

comedy as a whole is like? Say it?

50:13

Well I think in the eighties. Gonna.

50:15

Lose. So kind of like from the Seinfeld

50:17

episode about jerking off but they don't say

50:19

it. We all love that so much. I

50:21

right now are kind of in a place

50:24

where it's like it's the internet. It's is

50:26

how we communicate like that that love of

50:28

subtlety is sort out the door a little

50:30

bit. Here's mint. Now here's my take on

50:32

that. There's. A

50:34

whole new community. Of

50:37

Comedy Watchers. That are

50:39

like. I'm.

50:46

In: I'm In Your Life. Who are you

50:48

people? Because you

50:50

mean to tell me Eddie Murphy can't do

50:52

to Ross vessel? Yeah, and two thousand Twenty

50:54

Four, right? He can be like pullover. We're

50:56

going to go second act. Yeah, yeah. well.

50:58

actually no Broadway. I mean, maybe so. But

51:00

here's the day. I mean, we talk about

51:02

this on the show a lot. It just

51:04

comes up. You. Also can

51:06

Robin trend? You know Robin. She's

51:08

a great. Transgenic. Mean.

51:11

Wonderful! She's like what are

51:13

you talking about right? You can do any

51:15

said you can do and people get mad

51:17

and but here's my. Addition

51:19

People were always Matt Murray. Now they

51:22

can talk and that's actually kind of

51:24

good. Let him talk, fight each other,

51:26

work it out. That's good or not

51:28

for like taking things down for say

51:30

it's it's just like. Robin

51:33

was like succession, watch succession.

51:35

He won every award and

51:37

every other joke is like

51:39

an incest sexual assault joke

51:41

that. Someone. Dystopian

51:44

world. Do you pretend you're living in

51:46

mice? There's just like, you know if

51:48

we will try products they save one.

51:50

If someone loves that they'll tell one

51:53

person. If they hated they'll tell ten

51:55

people might have. I was happening right.

51:57

A standard of marketing. Spill bird. There's

51:59

some outrageous shit and I'm not saying

52:01

it's when I was supposed new special.

52:03

Their parts were just like com are

52:05

you know Just like that. Was just

52:07

a little disappointed I suppose. But.

52:09

You know I get a not right like right.

52:12

but the. Almost

52:14

forty dollars. I respect the main. A

52:16

lot of people doesn't add up. All

52:18

sorts of the call me out disappoint.

52:22

Our present you say I'm as made me

52:24

to be dismissed I may be let out

52:26

a lot of ran a lookout for affects

52:28

everybody around finance run around. be afraid to

52:31

make. You. Smile The truth about

52:33

that's what I'm all about. Quite.

52:35

Busy. Have. A Newport pseudonym got

52:37

a new board. he's mug American spirit yeah

52:39

sorry as black stereotype and no Newport's are

52:41

you know any minutes it wasn't we going

52:43

to disappoint in Dave? I was just some

52:46

of the jokes are like s you know

52:48

what of enemies I would like if it's

52:50

some my dad would say that's that's my

52:52

line is not even that is so much

52:54

offensive is that I'm like you got be

52:56

better than my dad at a barbershop that

52:58

on says. Here's my thing about Dave though.

53:00

I feel like you can deliver this for

53:02

so long. Yeah. And then you know

53:04

what? The stove. This throw one

53:07

of these and that's what it felt like this.

53:09

Throw one of these in there dude. I'm not

53:11

down with you that you have felt like yeah

53:13

but in this moment. There's. Still

53:15

more of these in that moment

53:17

you the most special task. In

53:20

their careers? Yeah, so when he does

53:22

that joke, realize. Is. That tends

53:25

to write super joke right

53:27

now. The suppose up right.

53:30

Away Mare and it is totally different.

53:32

Yeah, right. But at the same time,

53:34

is he saying I'm being lazy? Or

53:37

is he saying. This. Is what

53:39

you guys want. Because when I

53:41

do this it over here. You. Guys try

53:43

to cancel me and you know enemy

53:45

so. No matter what I would

53:47

leave his brilliance and have to be fair game

53:49

and grow the I have never been Somebody have

53:52

never been around somebody who's. To. Me

53:54

does. Ruin.

53:56

Yeah. I've been around a bunch of

53:58

bringing comments. This guy. I

54:01

give. A little. Deeper level? I don't Now

54:03

you're going on me sweaty. I'm not talking

54:05

shit about Dave. Know. It's too late.

54:08

I. Can cut it out now. Papau

54:12

God said I leave it at math know

54:14

he's a he's he's not either. Not everybody's

54:16

cup of tea bro you're on! I love

54:18

as Clay I am I the latest special

54:21

are not as I know that old adage

54:23

about first ten minutes and recycle outside and

54:25

development analysis like. Invesco

54:28

me to special it was the first

54:30

oh how erotica help of like okay.

54:33

To me it's like what energies are we working

54:35

with and you tell me you know him better

54:37

than I do. But I must say I don't

54:39

know what all is why I think you know

54:41

better than me. Mistake. That.

54:44

Like fuck you you can't tell

54:46

me what to do. Energy. And

54:48

this isn't my favorite energy on

54:50

anybody, right? anybody? rights? But here's

54:52

here's what I love about it.

54:55

If there's a fuck you, you can't tell

54:57

me what to do. Energy: I'd rather he

55:00

come from him. Who's. Brilliant who

55:02

knows exactly what he's done and can kill

55:04

you in any type of conversation you want

55:06

to have on any subject anytime you're ready.

55:08

I rather have that in his power and

55:11

in his hands. Then. Just a

55:13

random ass comic. This is up there who either

55:15

got lucky what he's about, to the dates, or

55:17

he's in dabbling in attorney. Sounds like a fucking

55:19

eighty, right? And I've seen too many of us

55:21

get up there who tried to kraut work and

55:23

you like you to step up. Oh so. And

55:26

up seems that to get up to try

55:28

to rants and it makes no sense because

55:30

he had another funny to follow that rant.

55:32

Yeah I've seen people get up dance, had

55:35

to politics and you like that was a

55:37

dumb as premise and dumbest take away I've

55:39

ever heard of. my do you don't get

55:41

neither yeah I'd rather Daves do anything so

55:43

if he does something as just like a

55:45

physical. Middle of the

55:47

role Low roadside ricardo. I watery

55:49

grave. How was it open road?

55:52

No no no I were. Why?

55:54

Why? Why I will fight you

55:56

on that. You know I know

55:59

can't sell. Like something you would

56:01

ref if you told me that people

56:03

when in a submarine or down to

56:05

the Titanic. Purpose Fleece saw him. Take

56:09

watery grave from his infancy to

56:11

a fucking call back. Purposefully.

56:13

Yeah so I get all about s oh

56:15

my god or of beauty because especially you

56:17

as the Perth A man who had a

56:19

deep says about seven times now is call

56:21

back and but okay I wouldn't but I

56:23

but I will say this just fine. I

56:26

was wrong yeah want to get that out

56:28

that because I could always was a good

56:30

seems like a riff it seems like that

56:32

you do not Ours is can like I'll

56:34

have a normal I used as he has

56:36

a story in that last bus or where

56:38

he's asked. God damn story I'm almost some

56:40

I'm on is drawn a blank but that.

56:43

Story that he tells at the in. That

56:45

you didn't want because it was at the end

56:48

it. But I've seen all the other ones but

56:50

I'm not Op. but I've heard that story. But

56:52

I've heard that story a couple years ago. And

56:56

for him and up for the advice is the

56:58

i've heard that story a couple of specials ago

57:00

so for that stored it pop up on this

57:02

special say. You know? let's. Discuss.

57:06

Process, grow, He's. Like. A

57:09

Mcguinness immigrant who spends less

57:11

expenses. And as

57:13

and because I've been a fast he was one of the reasons

57:15

he was one reason that the a common as a lot of.

57:18

Comedians. Are was def jam allows us but

57:20

it was some people. You know

57:22

you saw said Dave Chappelle said how to

57:24

commit would and were Chris Tucker said ah,

57:26

there was certain Sybil Bellamy. Sit. There were

57:28

certain people when I was an audience and.

57:31

Be that cool out to be that clever.

57:34

I want to be that related. Will. And. So

57:36

of that's where. I.

57:42

Have a dog barking at all over picked

57:45

it up but arm but that's when you

57:47

know. You know that's

57:49

of those Those type of comedians made me

57:51

say ah, I want to be a standup.

57:53

I think what we're talking about is. This.

57:57

Might sound stupid, but it's like you know,

57:59

a passerby. Get about Star Wars, George Lucas

58:01

goes back and change Star Wars and we

58:03

get all up in arms because we feel

58:05

as ownership over Star Wars nice and I'm

58:07

not even to same as are we did.

58:10

I would our profits to once Somebody like.

58:13

Made of talent. Might like Chappelle.

58:16

By. The way judge or beings. Brilliant.

58:18

Go! Love Georgia ago. That's what I meant when

58:20

I said so know I hate it has of

58:23

Africa. Hundred

58:25

nobody did I even at it. or Calgary

58:27

that you read it reflects. Oh. My

58:30

word of Halloween? Where are they arrive? In

58:32

Up Up Up Up Up Versa you think

58:34

of and I don't know is terrible. Leaving

58:37

total was like. Why

58:39

is locked up? And

58:45

neighborhoods he's from my bottom of as

58:48

say i blame. Stupid is dumb

58:50

and Jar Jar sucks. but when

58:52

someone is so good and Star

58:54

Wars chappelle like someone's a Dynasty

58:57

and. It's. Almost

58:59

like they become a publicly traded star

59:01

Madame all have some say it like

59:03

why do I have an opinion my

59:05

on what Daves should be doing me.

59:08

And my god, why would I say

59:10

something like that? Joke was disappointing to

59:12

me. Is it? I think it comes

59:14

from a place of love and we're

59:16

like. This. Is

59:18

this is what I did? The one are my

59:20

favorite cities are bad Yeah you know it's almost

59:23

like and I know people are going to get

59:25

mad about all that stuff. I don't know. I

59:27

know I get it back what I said but

59:29

I am do mattress did and why people are

59:31

going like do not adjust once you have eyes

59:33

on context. Because. I

59:35

felt like. You. Know I'm.

59:40

My road days with were very

59:42

slow. Alimony

59:45

Twenty twenty two for whatever

59:47

summer one on wrote. I

59:49

really don't but we number of was if you are. Sample.

59:52

Enough Sir Humphrey of Spells The odd

59:54

man i'm a mom wants you to

59:57

set some watching it grow. On

59:59

Watson and. Given my any that job,

1:00:01

another one her. Why? Not, you know,

1:00:03

enemy And as soon as he dropped it, he was way

1:00:05

to drop another one. and I was just like. You.

1:00:07

Know let's. Go Go Go Hits

1:00:10

or because it takes me three four years but

1:00:12

in a real as I'm just lazy. Because.

1:00:15

He also kind of shows you. The

1:00:17

Blueprint and your life. And the Ns. The

1:00:19

common denominator is we all have this talent.

1:00:22

Yeah, don't be, Don't be lazy. You're A.

1:00:24

If you really want to focus on you,

1:00:26

stand up and drop three. You've. Got

1:00:29

three and you yeah you have three.

1:00:31

Any yeah, as soon as you to

1:00:33

outlive yeah because I've seen your talent

1:00:35

and even when you riff is funny

1:00:37

yeah your personal. Just let

1:00:39

me take a break in drink some water

1:00:41

water, you don't make that funny Gray and

1:00:44

then whatever you're talking about re funny. So

1:00:46

he's like the green light like believe it.

1:00:48

but it's also a missing your what's your

1:00:50

net missing. You know that helps right? Because

1:00:53

not only be good to drop one but

1:00:55

a vacancy. Ryan. Right we

1:00:57

know annulled a zillion coming as drop and

1:00:59

team especially year or dragon. A said that

1:01:01

due to because her. To. Get

1:01:03

a full picture what we're talking about. You

1:01:05

have to consider that I dropped a Netflix

1:01:08

special and they've dropped a Netflix special. And.

1:01:10

I. He can't help but

1:01:13

watch it like his is on the

1:01:15

front page. Into the Jealousy and a

1:01:17

show on a course. Of course there

1:01:19

is absolutely not Just Dave Anybody. If

1:01:21

you're on the home page for seven

1:01:23

weeks and her number one breast your

1:01:25

the home page before comes out. Uma.

1:01:27

Home Title promo. You're just like I

1:01:29

Get ready. Had read home Page yes.

1:01:32

Then. How could

1:01:34

I not watch? It is old, I do well

1:01:36

or did well. Yeah okay yeah yeah but

1:01:38

I mean did well means it was in the

1:01:41

top ten for like ten days. Okay that's

1:01:43

good that's what is as and then in on

1:01:45

their save his push me out to dinner or

1:01:47

didn't get ready to drop a non one

1:01:49

because they are just me and in. Think.

1:01:52

About all the black male comics in between thirty

1:01:54

five to fifty five the can't even get it.

1:01:56

think about a white male com a good I

1:01:58

was a gotta cause I got it. Millions

1:02:00

of other or any items you

1:02:02

know any already. Put a special

1:02:04

on Netflix not Netflix Youtube your

1:02:07

I offered it to Netflix for

1:02:09

one dollar. Reserves

1:02:11

of he loves telling people that I'm like

1:02:14

maybe stoppers are right I want to give

1:02:16

an hour tour for her. I've watched it

1:02:18

or need to know. Said I was like

1:02:20

what the fuck is going on it was

1:02:22

a fruit know it was so funny right?

1:02:24

Yeah because I would have said the zebra

1:02:26

I was by her eyes I was like.

1:02:29

Talk. About you getting a social club

1:02:31

within ten minutes. His first three lines

1:02:33

get a genuine real applause. Break night

1:02:35

and it leads to another one Than

1:02:37

Anonymous truly baked into his character. Rhino

1:02:40

me, not just like. I'm

1:02:42

a firefighter at my wife and I just

1:02:44

got married and ad which is at a.like

1:02:46

cheap applause based I mean like he's getting

1:02:48

people to like. He's. Right there

1:02:50

with I'm reminded me of Carlin. reminded me

1:02:52

of like really great hi stuff and I

1:02:54

was like. This. Is on

1:02:56

you tube. I was like what I have

1:02:58

to perform in front of morning or behind

1:03:01

or any at the Larry Bird Aires question

1:03:03

quite do have a are act into his

1:03:05

I've never even tried to do as well

1:03:07

but. I can

1:03:09

induce hello. I'm sleeping

1:03:12

on a Palau. I. Put

1:03:15

the I found I thought a problem

1:03:17

with that often of setting up but

1:03:19

I love I actually like following him

1:03:22

because it's like how are you could

1:03:24

have a liar that last names. The

1:03:26

last three times I saw Saw Army

1:03:28

he literally got. It was

1:03:30

this applause break. Like you said applause, big

1:03:32

applause breasts and I'd go wild Animal And

1:03:35

I said to myself, you know what? So.

1:03:37

Probably never give him the love. That.

1:03:40

He said they'll let me when I'm dead.

1:03:42

Yeah don't yeah but why is that in

1:03:44

even for people like me it's like I've

1:03:46

been as you are said my last time

1:03:48

and we came thompson since I would have

1:03:50

seasonal they are taken know. Now

1:03:54

put us through. Oscar Zola died.

1:03:56

There were there. But. What?

1:03:59

Got me? or. Lima, Why did they pick

1:04:01

me? According. In.

1:04:04

A lot of they pick me. I was.

1:04:06

Stupid. Funny, I literally had

1:04:09

the best. Audition. Know.

1:04:11

That cat William. Say it. I suck

1:04:14

dick. no different at our William Adams

1:04:16

And you know what? He did it.

1:04:18

It. Is

1:04:20

our so persuasive and so charismatic.

1:04:22

I was like I say it

1:04:24

I do is I got my

1:04:26

South Africa's you saying it was

1:04:28

that's convicts in a d like

1:04:30

a match Everybody I heard to

1:04:32

I don't remember severely had to

1:04:34

go on are literally go on

1:04:36

a is not everybody tour. The

1:04:40

roads? yeah people don't know. In

1:04:42

a beloved cat. He so believable or

1:04:44

was so believable, So reliable and you

1:04:46

like. So. Many people

1:04:48

like. Maddow.

1:04:51

But so many people are like I know

1:04:53

it. It's. A trick is

1:04:56

a trick is all smoke and mirrors right?

1:04:58

Those people don't deserve it and we're gonna

1:05:00

expose them are try and get amount of

1:05:02

the way. That's why it's always. You can

1:05:04

draw a big crowd by being like you

1:05:06

think I am. the I can. Kevin Hart

1:05:08

is an example. I don't know anything about

1:05:10

any of these details I'm saying I see

1:05:12

really. The Kevin Hart just got seven movies

1:05:14

and her and her license. Well okay now

1:05:16

you're giving me a choice either. He did

1:05:18

something evil and secret. Or. Life

1:05:21

isn't fair, right? And he's just more talented

1:05:23

than I am, right? That's my favorite Lorne

1:05:25

Michaels quote by the way. My He goes.

1:05:28

Showbiz. As isn't fair, he goes. yet talent

1:05:30

isn't fair. Because he thing I want

1:05:32

to be producing Snl. I'm. Adding that purpose

1:05:34

in a hurry Me the honor to be as funny

1:05:36

as Bill Murray. Know if you want to be a

1:05:38

software. So. It's either unfair and

1:05:40

your and your to soar like shorter than

1:05:42

the sex were. There's a

1:05:45

few put on a row with a

1:05:47

goblet. in. there was an orgy and

1:05:49

cabin hard you have been so it's

1:05:51

like that's a more appealing stones funny.

1:05:53

The Lorne Michaels advice that he gave

1:05:56

me was that the the interns and

1:05:58

pages the to see. Working

1:06:00

during the week at the after party

1:06:02

after the so you're gonna see him

1:06:04

again that Monday. That.

1:06:07

Good. And I know exactly.

1:06:09

I knew exactly what was it out

1:06:12

of? like that's likely li node it

1:06:14

that's a comedy clubs staff definitely us

1:06:16

Lorne Michaels of Very Funny Guy. Barrier.

1:06:21

There if there's a jet. I had

1:06:23

some a Caesar Goodson on My gonna

1:06:25

see them again on Monday. so let's

1:06:27

just say Horatio Sanz had a few

1:06:30

awkward table tastes. Pick wisely because. They're

1:06:33

not going anywhere near. Usually connected

1:06:35

us. how they got the top

1:06:38

of the suspects are some network.

1:06:40

It's like the mushrooms under trees.

1:06:42

There's a complicated network talking to

1:06:44

itself. The pages that go to

1:06:46

actually run Nbc. That wasn't. So

1:06:54

you know who my father is on so

1:06:56

I feel like I may be interrupted. East

1:06:59

are going on about cat I got extend

1:07:01

our but ah you are saying how I

1:07:03

got us a no no I was is

1:07:05

I think I was just talking about what

1:07:07

we what we were. Both.

1:07:09

Mentioning is that. The

1:07:12

placement. It

1:07:14

in. Where they put you in

1:07:16

the machine from a manager. To.

1:07:19

One of the agents that no one

1:07:21

can say no to. To

1:07:23

are. The. People who they

1:07:25

surround you with. The. Publicists

1:07:27

that it does more work than any

1:07:29

of them, you know? All. That

1:07:31

stuff is by design. It costs a lot

1:07:33

of money. And you

1:07:36

your the part that makes the money.

1:07:39

But. We put you in that position. right?

1:07:42

Oh the minute you say you have a headache. Over

1:07:44

suddenly we we go from super nice to

1:07:47

i turn. On he had a may.

1:07:50

Get. Us out there on estate. Because

1:07:52

we got they fulfil with their full

1:07:54

state. The Sioux Falls. The guy with

1:07:56

a civic sixteen over the media British

1:07:59

yes, The wind. We need you

1:08:01

to produce because. Not

1:08:03

only did you bet on

1:08:05

yourself and you got super.

1:08:08

Super. Close to the finish line.

1:08:11

We're. Pulling the finish line. Toward.

1:08:14

You and let you know Now

1:08:16

the race really starts because now

1:08:18

you're end the conversation. Of

1:08:21

the mat rice and the suppose

1:08:23

and cigarettes and Brett Bird prices

1:08:25

in the everybody who's out there

1:08:28

touring touring against up they wanted

1:08:30

to they took a different money.

1:08:33

You. Know what he me. Using

1:08:36

they got paid upfront. Small Southern the eeg

1:08:38

you get a check. For. To

1:08:40

start a tour. Absolutely I did. I You gotta

1:08:42

keep on going to go. That's funny because I

1:08:44

to nobody's the end you at the end of

1:08:46

the so at the end of the night nobody's

1:08:49

handing Nozick know. That's. Like have already

1:08:51

been given to. You know, go do these dates. Or

1:08:53

that's really interesting cause I've had conversations with

1:08:55

some of those high level arena guys. And

1:08:58

I'm like. So. You tell

1:09:00

me every weekend you make enough

1:09:02

to pay off my house assess,

1:09:04

assess right and then same conversation

1:09:06

you're saying you're not home enough.

1:09:09

And. You miss your family Mr. Front? whatever.

1:09:11

now. So. Like why not do

1:09:13

one day Although the answer I got was

1:09:16

like because they're not going to let me

1:09:18

forever and I was like. Who.

1:09:20

Fucking cares, right? You made

1:09:22

fifty million dollar rise. Why?

1:09:25

Why do you have to do that? three years

1:09:28

and or out, why not? This isn't you. Tell

1:09:30

me. Am I crazy. I'm like if you accept

1:09:32

the million dollars and you now get kiss my

1:09:34

ass money right? So why is no one that

1:09:37

I know at that level? Not no one

1:09:39

I know, but nobody, Not a lot of them

1:09:41

at that level seem to be sank Is either

1:09:43

that or they really have the compulsion to always

1:09:45

be doing it. always be doing they're always be

1:09:48

doing. I'm like where's the like, It's

1:09:51

almost like church stock. Is it like,

1:09:53

is it so alluring but his fifty

1:09:55

mon museum? Yeah. Was it like impossible

1:09:58

to say no? Ah, look at it

1:10:00

like this. The. People

1:10:02

who. Are in

1:10:04

the business to make money,

1:10:07

print money, Which. Get

1:10:09

which brings power. And. Influence

1:10:11

is so addictive! Is.

1:10:14

So controlling. That. Why?

1:10:16

Would it stop because it is a stock. Will.

1:10:19

You? yeah yeah you're not the funniest guy

1:10:21

for twenty years. You the funniest guy for

1:10:23

five years. And I'm not as funny as

1:10:25

gathered Thirty five Years and Funniest Guy for

1:10:27

seven years we we can look at out

1:10:29

a comic that we let remembers perfect but

1:10:31

they got a new and now re they

1:10:33

got a new worse. You. Know I

1:10:36

you put your money down on that new horse and

1:10:38

them and that when you know novel horses then you

1:10:40

put your money down on a friend. That's

1:10:42

you. Trust. That. Tell

1:10:44

you that's the new horse and you go a

1:10:46

dead horse. Because in your business you

1:10:48

just like I don't care who's horse it is

1:10:51

You mean this from the can they finish the

1:10:53

rear can I finish the race right? But.

1:10:55

I miles or the first thing he said which

1:10:57

is like it is. The best, maybe

1:10:59

not the best, or maybe the most addictive

1:11:01

drug in the world is the have. A.

1:11:03

Couple hundred million dollars. And.

1:11:06

Is walk around peeing on birthday cakes or

1:11:08

whatever you want to do? Yeah, just. Best

1:11:11

as I read home are grave.

1:11:15

Avoided. We don't do about

1:11:17

nothing right. Live in right

1:11:19

under my dogs a space

1:11:22

juice Isis based Jews out

1:11:24

at Circus cleared. Varieties

1:11:26

are even Battsek is cleared clear rise in the

1:11:28

bank. bank right the can't get back. That's what

1:11:30

are the things are not to bring about Isabel

1:11:32

but that's always to me when I'm watching of

1:11:35

on like. Remember. When

1:11:37

the icy.on I designers I thought I

1:11:39

was growing. He's talking about how com

1:11:41

a Central screwed him over soon as

1:11:43

I was. Really a masterful thing about

1:11:45

this is everyone in this audience knows

1:11:47

this dude has however many tens of

1:11:50

millions of dollars and we're still carrying.

1:11:52

That. He got screwed up. You know what he

1:11:54

means. like how did that not veer into her

1:11:57

a space where it's like, but we know you're

1:11:59

doing okay cozy. The he told a

1:12:01

story backwards. He. He got screwed

1:12:03

over the beginning of his career. Yeah, and now

1:12:05

that is powerful enough to do something about it.

1:12:08

I. Want to make sure you guys know

1:12:10

what they did so that it doesn't

1:12:12

have to? Yeah, yeah, and that's what

1:12:14

happened to you. At. Least

1:12:16

you know what they're doing right in

1:12:18

perpetuity throughout the universe is the three

1:12:20

card monte contract. He? I don't mean

1:12:23

that was just sorta like and I

1:12:25

appreciate that because we any those people

1:12:27

telling that side of the business. Vs.

1:12:30

Any suck dick, what does that that or

1:12:33

and is that funny that have answer that

1:12:35

nobody can. That's the answer is like and

1:12:37

know it. You know that way when they

1:12:39

say in Hollywood that they're eating babies and

1:12:41

whatever all the stuff I'm like. They.

1:12:44

Are metaphorically Yes, you know what

1:12:46

I'm saying. Now it's just an

1:12:48

eye. one or two and one

1:12:50

or two I behind their boards

1:12:52

on some folks a cup of

1:12:54

water to today couple thousands new

1:12:56

as an added five hour. but

1:12:58

you don't have that like it's

1:13:00

a juice, your sexier, more viral

1:13:02

story to be like they're vampires

1:13:04

and like snowed. The reason why

1:13:06

the vampire story resonates and for

1:13:08

hundreds of years is because we

1:13:10

know that there are people that

1:13:13

are sequestered in. Caves that

1:13:15

are sucking. Life from other

1:13:17

things. you know the and this isn't code

1:13:19

for any specific group of disease. There's if

1:13:21

there's money being made, some somebody is finding

1:13:23

a way to get a piece and and

1:13:25

take it back to the castle. right? That's

1:13:28

is what. That's what people do. I think

1:13:30

if you're in the business to. Do.

1:13:32

Better than your predecessor. right?

1:13:35

Then. And you're not the talent. Then.

1:13:39

Hey. You. Like that office. You.

1:13:41

Like that Jet. You like

1:13:43

you like those vacations, You like

1:13:45

private school for your kids and

1:13:47

is generational? Well, you're creating without

1:13:49

having one. please. It's ballot. Are.

1:13:51

You doing is picking? Yeah, you don't I

1:13:54

mean your data yeah your day trader. So

1:13:56

you're just like a bring me the best

1:13:58

stock the bedouin. And. Will

1:14:00

that stock. Go. To Des,

1:14:02

Moines, Iowa. Yes, For that

1:14:04

much? Well, yes, because. Everybody

1:14:07

wants to go to San Francisco, Atlanta

1:14:09

and outlay. But. Will you

1:14:11

go to some false? That's what I need

1:14:13

to know because there's a lot of money

1:14:15

to be mates and I need you to

1:14:18

have the same attitude in the same so

1:14:20

on and on. Any fucking lawsuits, Many rape

1:14:22

cases, Are any drug overdoses? Yeah, yeah, because.

1:14:25

We're going to give it to be going

1:14:27

to give her half of the how many

1:14:29

of us tell me of you think about

1:14:31

yourself as vague as I do. a little

1:14:33

bit too borrowing it from their perspective in

1:14:35

a healthy way. Going like and yeah I

1:14:37

my own. I'm a day trader that betting

1:14:39

on me and there's something really empowering about

1:14:41

that meeting. I'll do a show. I have

1:14:43

a good attitude on the things he does

1:14:46

mention. I'm not going to get drunk and

1:14:48

take a shit on the bar when a

1:14:50

do my job. gonna do it like it

1:14:52

is. You know, New York City when I'm

1:14:54

in Sioux Falls, right? Because. Now

1:14:56

I'm a psych on my own employee.

1:14:58

yeah, butcher mature now and you're a

1:15:01

professional now. Rec: A You realize the

1:15:03

depressing that he could have been in

1:15:05

or or was in or dabbled with

1:15:07

two years ago. Three months ago. Fifteen.

1:15:10

Years ago. You. Like you know what? I

1:15:13

realize is still up to me. Guess still up to

1:15:15

me to get up everyday to are still up to

1:15:17

me to look at my wife and say I like

1:15:19

her. Still up to me to try to be a

1:15:21

good example to my girls. You know this is up

1:15:24

to me and so once you get over that part

1:15:26

of it, what is the most consistent thing. About.

1:15:28

That life. Oh yeah,

1:15:30

do love telling jokes. Yeah, that's the one

1:15:33

thing I can control, right? So.

1:15:35

Let me you know. tried

1:15:37

a manager that. And. Stay

1:15:39

faithful to my baby! Yeah, which

1:15:41

says how everything started. Everything. Know

1:15:45

as I've said a million has was set up

1:15:47

as your wife everything else is your your mistress

1:15:49

now as I you got your show but he

1:15:51

always come back to where is that But it's

1:15:53

the reverse. Were. Doing stand up his

1:15:56

mistress because it's exciting. Yes, you sneak out

1:15:58

the house for you, Mr. Later

1:16:01

which is why it up on him

1:16:03

it worth of i live you exactly

1:16:05

what you meant yeah because but it

1:16:08

may be was is a is a

1:16:10

druid? a healthy exerting marriage? Yes yes

1:16:12

yes Typically that can be like. Does.

1:16:14

It is fun. I won't When was it.

1:16:18

Was. A less than I don't remember man. This.

1:16:20

Is what is being a parent? Remark that as a sound

1:16:22

bite. Have I

1:16:24

thought that was just me staring

1:16:27

off. As a ruin

1:16:29

our my wife's then wait a minute. So.

1:16:32

The Wipers, The Born Part and Comedy

1:16:34

used his bid on a ladder life

1:16:36

was on her Instagram share with with

1:16:38

a bunch of emerges have no comment

1:16:40

is that images? You know what? If

1:16:42

you pick the wrong woman in this

1:16:44

game you done. Tell. Me: He.

1:16:47

Just uses done. There's no way you'll be

1:16:49

able to focus on stand up. There is

1:16:51

no way you'll be able to leave the

1:16:53

house and have a clear head be stuck

1:16:55

in a hotel room. I see why you

1:16:57

listen to the background noise in of what's

1:16:59

he might be doing it which is something

1:17:01

I know been you who knows what you're

1:17:03

doing because you think and seized on something

1:17:05

is this is as a brain fuck are

1:17:07

you come home and you only got three

1:17:09

or four days to figure it out We

1:17:11

go back on the road when you never

1:17:13

figure it out right to just you just

1:17:16

washing you close brings favorite. Jeans and

1:17:18

wash your favorite T Sarah. And

1:17:20

before you know what you like, three or four years

1:17:23

went by if you make it that long he like

1:17:25

i always know you right now and see like I

1:17:27

don't even know you. Who. Than that

1:17:29

sexy thing. Messy was lab and I can see

1:17:31

within the crowd the perk up with us that

1:17:34

enough thing as it does waygal because mouse number

1:17:36

so. And is the thing that keeps you

1:17:38

away from her? Re. Re.

1:17:40

As the one thing that your superman and

1:17:42

about and name when you come in a house

1:17:45

sometimes you still want be supermen seems like.

1:17:48

There's. I put your remember the Patrice Betty

1:17:50

like your big game fisherman. Like

1:17:52

I'm I'm saying that made you attract your partner as

1:17:55

the thing they way to stop their away He meant

1:17:57

to me of women them but I hear you saying

1:17:59

that was. No, it's a huge thing

1:18:01

in my fuck I love your album. About.

1:18:04

Who hears been married twice by Rouge

1:18:06

Aha our affairs. I'm on my second,

1:18:08

Neither those Larry us and in my

1:18:10

first Mariella going to use a good

1:18:12

marriage and star same suit like. Will.

1:18:15

Maybe it is me. My

1:18:19

favorite. So yes when my favorite

1:18:21

zone you know it. Another one

1:18:23

that reminds you that or is

1:18:25

he ever realized he live in

1:18:27

a bad neighborhood to disarm movies

1:18:29

at is so he sowed training. Danny

1:18:31

goes that's my have asthma have

1:18:33

enough though to do they'll go

1:18:35

for you Thought Okay with affordable live

1:18:38

in a bad neighborhood ah from

1:18:40

Atlanta is like displaces. This is

1:18:42

affordable. Are

1:18:44

more rodale. it's. I've known as

1:18:46

Rodeo. Marlowe

1:18:48

beginning to cross street. Ah

1:18:54

so good. But when I was of

1:18:56

my first marriage I remember that have

1:18:58

a show or some they would be

1:19:01

kind of like a thing. Not a

1:19:03

big thing but I had advil bad

1:19:05

about I'm like I am doing Since

1:19:07

I remember Saint Rose I I just

1:19:10

wanted to be normal. Like.

1:19:12

That was my dream was to be in

1:19:15

a marriage, right? eating almost be like. And

1:19:17

now here's the punchline. I mean that marriage.

1:19:19

Someone. Clock and only I have a spot

1:19:22

tonight. As as not a big things not

1:19:24

because I don't do it too much but

1:19:26

I do it just the right amount of

1:19:28

my. Got my log on Saturday. So.

1:19:30

I got a couple spots this week warm up. And

1:19:33

is normal and that as a

1:19:36

gift. You have to find a

1:19:38

partner that. Wants

1:19:40

you. To. Do that

1:19:42

as much as you on death because what

1:19:44

they wanna do. Is

1:19:46

be married and. Ssssss.

1:19:51

Some women want to be married. Yeah,

1:19:53

I want his job as As.that's what

1:19:55

he does best. My husband and I

1:19:57

marry and I want to be made

1:19:59

and I wanna be many. The I

1:20:02

want this to work. I want us

1:20:04

to What what are your is a

1:20:06

funny way to say it and what

1:20:08

you're saying is universally applicable, which is.

1:20:10

Ah, Is the same thing when you're gonna

1:20:13

maybe even allow for my lap dances? I

1:20:15

don't mean like strip right eye or whatever.

1:20:17

the of I'm not trying to be funny.

1:20:19

What is the where the say now? Exotic.

1:20:21

The exotic dancers not exotic dancer health. It's

1:20:23

over for old owns a trailer their efforts

1:20:26

the clap her eyes as a to not

1:20:28

exotic dancer she dances and when she comes

1:20:30

home from dancing and. I'm

1:20:32

like. It's finesse

1:20:34

after set. I was like that's

1:20:36

the thing. That. She does that connects

1:20:38

sir and gets you moving. It's a

1:20:40

hard up in his feeling safe, get

1:20:43

to feeling seen. It's her stand up.

1:20:45

Yes, so it's not. oh stand up.

1:20:47

see our a special weird breed that

1:20:49

needs do their thing, smile, all everything

1:20:51

right? And now I feel like we're

1:20:53

both being mature second marriage guy kind

1:20:56

of thing, grown up. Everybody.

1:20:58

Has their thing and if you love your

1:21:01

partner you find a way to. Make.

1:21:03

It work you know you mean and have

1:21:05

went to the Us and quickest way to

1:21:07

fail at a relationship is when. A

1:21:10

woman. Does. Not. Have

1:21:13

her thing. And the man

1:21:15

is trying to help her find it

1:21:17

and. So. Bad News

1:21:20

Bears even succeeds. Is

1:21:22

not even her think yeah because you

1:21:24

helped her just peed all over the

1:21:26

birthday. Have no real Now it's sometimes

1:21:28

you can make so much money and

1:21:30

I used to be in his props.

1:21:32

Sometimes you can make so much mind

1:21:34

where the person is like this was

1:21:36

my job. nervous want to do that

1:21:39

but now we can afford. For.

1:21:41

Me to. Have time for

1:21:43

to myself to figure this out. But.

1:21:47

This is taking longer than I thought.

1:21:49

But. He went. I'll find it. Meanwhile

1:21:51

every non into do Laguna Beach front

1:21:53

of me and you know and vice

1:21:55

versa when all and m here's the

1:21:57

thing that women don't understand. Be awesome.

1:22:00

The a bullet being do we get

1:22:02

so much sit for just being in

1:22:04

a do. Let. Them make

1:22:06

all the money. Were. Made majority

1:22:08

of the money. And you're

1:22:10

trying to find something as you're in

1:22:12

between your thing. May a women's

1:22:14

how do you like sit. Still,

1:22:17

On a gotta. Still,

1:22:19

Wasn't deny lose yesterday he still wasn't

1:22:22

as same thing exists in this situation

1:22:24

without making them with yeah like they

1:22:26

they have a great job right? right?

1:22:28

I knew you were an offer to

1:22:31

see I see and use. You are

1:22:33

a schoolteacher right? right? Used human. Find

1:22:35

your thing Now who? you're reminding me.

1:22:38

They. Have less patients? Who is

1:22:40

it? I'm blanking. Or.

1:22:42

To blame fog as she deserves

1:22:44

special. She's so funny. black woman,

1:22:47

lesbian, a speedo, Samsung Sam

1:22:49

Jay had a bit about that. This

1:22:51

is where she's she's the dude means

1:22:53

at and as such a funny bed

1:22:55

and seats in a way that like

1:22:57

that she's uniquely qualified to really like.

1:23:00

Go for it in a hard way

1:23:02

because woman and she's and on the

1:23:04

did says his him that dynamic with

1:23:06

marijuana and one her girl is like

1:23:09

or heard grows pack and two suitcases

1:23:11

for herself. And may or may feel

1:23:13

to the top and see look and at Sam's a light.

1:23:15

Is. My bit: I'm a woman to auto who

1:23:18

founded The Bags. Out

1:23:21

as. Soon

1:23:23

I hope. Of

1:23:27

at is it. That was exactly what

1:23:29

for it for me. And.

1:23:31

Like my my wife. Is

1:23:33

says like I'm on team. Marriage.

1:23:36

Best. That's what I'll learn from the

1:23:39

first. Relationship Likes: he gotta be on

1:23:41

t marriage and whenever I go through.

1:23:44

At his need her to just be like I

1:23:46

see it. Yeah, Guys, I am

1:23:48

so excited that the show is sponsored by

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dumb and that such a valuable lesson

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my parents might be martians said aware

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mom as the martian can only say

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I might say ah saying big thing

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believe it or not Lila get so

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her cognition or focus or processing. It's

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1:27:33

to the show. What? We say to

1:27:35

my daughter all the time is. I.

1:27:37

Believe you. And. That is

1:27:39

exactly what I hear you say. she's gone

1:27:41

through think she was I don't like gone

1:27:43

to school my teacher uses or big boys

1:27:46

that's of that's what we say like in

1:27:48

are you from boys and I go I

1:27:50

believe you know the always the first thing

1:27:52

and believe that sounds hard but was crazy

1:27:54

as that sounds like little kid technique. My

1:27:56

wife says it and I say to her

1:27:58

i believe you can our. Half of yeah

1:28:00

I did a show us where bad

1:28:03

as it ages I feel like they

1:28:05

didn't lay. I believe you add some

1:28:07

rough sounds like you feeling vulnerable or

1:28:09

whatever it is. that's t marriage now

1:28:11

soon there and she knows like me

1:28:13

with her dancing. Stand.

1:28:16

Up to me is like fifteen Xanax or something.

1:28:18

I can be neurotic upsets. That's how I know

1:28:20

I need to do a spot in the second.

1:28:22

A little weird and then I go to a

1:28:25

spot. So great

1:28:27

and like three times a week is Eric!

1:28:29

If I'm in town, I'm going out. Here.

1:28:32

And see encourages that she's

1:28:34

like gold. You know, And

1:28:36

will give us Hundred bucks. Fifty bucks

1:28:38

Two Hundred fifty bucks. But. I'm

1:28:40

going Obama and a woman. Hundred and

1:28:42

fifty bucks this hand. And

1:28:45

I want to get on stage and I

1:28:47

don't care if I say the exact same

1:28:49

joke to it's says something about. This is

1:28:51

what I do because one thing I'll never

1:28:53

forget that I did a my career as

1:28:55

I got on Saturday Night Live and I

1:28:58

never went out and the city of New

1:29:00

York to do Stand up and why don't

1:29:02

know why I think the guy i think

1:29:04

the so was stressful. I was gonna say

1:29:06

you know who else would have done that.

1:29:10

So was a stressful the me I

1:29:12

would I'd I'd did not feel like

1:29:14

I had allies even know I felt

1:29:16

like I was a part of something.

1:29:18

yeah I didn't know what at the

1:29:20

time is I feel so environment is

1:29:22

not so friendly to do like me

1:29:24

I'm I'm seeing myself in you know

1:29:26

go in and be like. Am.

1:29:28

I welcome what's happening room at

1:29:31

seem like. Door. Setting a

1:29:33

rat his writings and you're like. He.

1:29:35

Added I said my door yeah, maternal

1:29:37

and water that like like Chris Rock

1:29:39

waiter own a restaurant. Where are the

1:29:41

chances that you're going to be. That

1:29:45

type of. Smart.

1:29:47

To figure out how to work like the

1:29:49

it's like the Harvard Lampoon to get to

1:29:52

figure out how to like what doors do

1:29:54

You go in like I watch Snl was

1:29:56

a young kid is easily. Chino is incredible.

1:30:01

Doesn't pass on half an hour and a

1:30:03

eight on as an array that Marcel maybe

1:30:05

add or it. I just like Zam Zam

1:30:07

Sam J. Marcello her

1:30:10

name as I think it's fantastic and

1:30:12

when I watch oh my ghost that's

1:30:14

a dude that has uncommon in your

1:30:16

office energy dry and you'd be happy

1:30:18

to see him right? and then I'm

1:30:20

like you know you got Lego is

1:30:22

you par now and sans. At.

1:30:24

The same time, I just know. It's

1:30:27

wrong. I'm name's know like evidence

1:30:29

like six people. I was more

1:30:32

that yes But yeah those people it is

1:30:34

like when I see for now either despise

1:30:36

was barn owl is like audio give up

1:30:38

her know before me. He

1:30:41

just walked in a please

1:30:44

do a refill Viral please

1:30:46

water. Ah Chris Parnell, Chris

1:30:48

Pratt. What? we don't' Ah.

1:30:56

No great for numbers if you

1:30:58

could lose his get really rad

1:31:00

are a couple of years apart

1:31:02

l. A man you would

1:31:04

cast as an audio book narrator is is the

1:31:06

perfect for sounded oh no he's a layer we

1:31:08

have ah man is one of a guy that's

1:31:10

a lot think I'd do with it but I

1:31:12

think but I don't see are now bus and

1:31:14

into rooms you know any means my that might

1:31:16

help you tell me you were there i wasn't

1:31:19

there. For

1:31:21

I think it as and a new system is.

1:31:24

It was. It was weird because came

1:31:26

in I came in at the same

1:31:28

time so we just wanted to be

1:31:31

friends with everybody and. I

1:31:33

don't know but we well for that age where we were like

1:31:36

we're in New York City. We both

1:31:38

go out. And we ended

1:31:40

up going out every night because oh

1:31:42

really, Every night. And.

1:31:47

Just what is as bootle are we booths as

1:31:50

know which is and clubs to as being cause

1:31:52

i yeah i mean we drink and be but

1:31:54

it because over says it wasn't like a stress

1:31:56

like let's go get fucked up for like mean

1:31:58

i was like is. What can. We

1:32:03

will early. We. Will smoke.

1:32:05

We would lean around Twelve

1:32:07

Twelve thirty. yeah, odd and

1:32:09

involved. With

1:32:12

their affair him on Nickelodeon for one

1:32:14

for one. enough for the audition and

1:32:16

to get it and then we out

1:32:18

there and we're in New York City.

1:32:20

We got the Earth gig are fucked

1:32:22

him up because I'm. I

1:32:24

saw him in an airport when we were leaving

1:32:26

to go. To. As and it was

1:32:29

like a red eye and and we can have

1:32:31

her I am. I heard he got it. But.

1:32:34

You don't really know who will scare. So

1:32:36

he saw me and he was just like.

1:32:39

A man. Congratulations man.

1:32:42

Heard you gotta have got would. He.

1:32:44

Let us know. Of. A

1:32:46

oh I didn't get it on. Got a mama

1:32:49

Way to Atlanta. And he's like. A.

1:32:51

Junior with New York. He's like. All.

1:32:54

Other as a fucking was A.i. Live

1:32:58

Feather we deliver their salary So to realize

1:33:00

that of may have we got there and

1:33:02

we we just like we just so happy

1:33:05

Mccain and say be smooth we all just

1:33:07

so he'll regret a going out. Why do

1:33:09

we went in the Golan? I would I

1:33:11

regret looking back at it as I did

1:33:13

not work as hard as I thought I

1:33:16

could have been well as I should have

1:33:18

been work when I thought I was working

1:33:20

hard as.i didn't have a lot of support

1:33:22

and in bag dinner thought. I'd say beaten

1:33:24

have a lot support. Even though he was

1:33:26

funny as shit and Harrys funny as pitches,

1:33:28

we will be left her own sort of

1:33:30

right. These sketches and there are times Kina

1:33:33

would be put in sketches because he's a

1:33:35

super dope you know, enemy of the you

1:33:37

do anything so says like oh man I

1:33:39

forgot we should be working on characters into

1:33:41

orbit. Have club. And that would

1:33:43

make a point across. But how old

1:33:45

were you? Thirty. Three,

1:33:47

I mean it feels but in

1:33:49

New York Club the of days.

1:33:52

Atlas Twenty Four May Yeah Yeah,

1:33:54

yeah and everybody. The

1:33:56

Wire. That. Care some Baltimore. You

1:33:58

see them in the. Yeah The

1:34:01

Sopranos. Did you see them in

1:34:03

the club where Leonardo Dicaprio the

1:34:05

models didn't see him the club

1:34:07

as to get used to anybody

1:34:09

who was bubbling. Anybody

1:34:12

who was just like does must first

1:34:14

debut solo album from the group that

1:34:16

I used. Yeah, Moto That people. Everybody.

1:34:19

Was in the clubs and thing about Snl, you

1:34:21

knew what clubs to go to. Cut

1:34:24

out of people come through Yeah and and it was

1:34:26

as in it was is open arms so. When.

1:34:28

You in a club? you a club bunny and I

1:34:30

was already. And clubs anyway. But to do it like

1:34:32

that on that level? see if I was addicted to

1:34:34

it. I was out al the club life more mellowed,

1:34:37

Snl and Acid. I look back on us. I. Have

1:34:40

my moments, right? But I didn't really

1:34:42

develop. Characters. Were I

1:34:44

was just like focused on it every week. Gotta

1:34:47

get this character our right Yeah I was a

1:34:49

do try to do a like must stand up.

1:34:51

Must. Stand out at how you got on. Was.

1:34:53

You ever since and up we as you

1:34:56

do the proper not a proud that we

1:34:58

can only stand up. I did how black

1:35:00

people found out the movie Crouching Tiger has

1:35:02

subtitles for first time. For

1:35:04

I had his whole seven minute bit. I'm

1:35:07

going to the Magic Johnson Theater down on

1:35:09

Crenshaw, the Us because you know black people

1:35:11

love writing moves, But they found out I

1:35:13

had to read for two and a half

1:35:15

hours. Of fact, it's about seven different characters.

1:35:17

It was brilliant. It was different characters

1:35:19

in the movie theater and I acted out

1:35:21

all of a lot about we had room

1:35:23

he i mean self were when they were

1:35:26

in it was his bit I just stood

1:35:28

him up and back then you would get

1:35:30

these comedy deals from the difference development deals

1:35:32

and so Fox has given me a deal

1:35:34

in some mills, M and the or this

1:35:36

and the Tracy Morgan replacement audition came out

1:35:38

of nowhere and I just did it. Nothing

1:35:40

on oh my God. Doesn't go to

1:35:42

said I love well because I thought I

1:35:44

was going to be developing something on Fox

1:35:46

at the top out as everybody had love

1:35:48

that bit. Went to Montreal and did it.

1:35:51

You. Know why don't you go to those things

1:35:53

where the networks as any gifts and she hadn't

1:35:55

break a leg. We love you.of the Dos Top

1:35:57

and we get back And did he do to.

1:36:00

That lucille about it brought to to

1:36:02

dismay and nothing I know I'm on

1:36:04

Snl them that came out of nowhere

1:36:06

some decide or guess I'm going New

1:36:08

York Guys wow was are part of

1:36:10

you that's kind of like cause remember

1:36:12