0:12

You made it weird with meat

0:14

homes. What's happening weirdos.

0:16

This is the incredible one of a

0:18

kind hilarious miss

0:21

Pat. I'm so glad I've known her

0:23

Here and there, we've run into each other. Our paths

0:25

have crossed over the years. She is incredible.

0:28

I'm glad we finally got to sit down and

0:30

have a long form chat. Can't wait for you

0:32

to

0:32

hear. Here is a little

0:34

taste.

0:35

Pot is for you. We don't use Pot. That's

0:37

right. Black people smoke correct. Yeah.

0:38

I don't like that. I'm the example of whiteness, but

0:40

I'll I mean, I'm just sitting I'm just sitting across Yeah. No.

0:43

If

0:43

there was another white guy, we could adjust

0:45

you. Well, I can say her name. She said she won't

0:47

hear you later. Just going skiing

0:48

if you know what I mean. What? She does

0:50

a lot of co. Oh, I don't

0:52

believe that. The Miss Pat show is

0:55

three seasons of hilariousness. It's

0:57

on BET plus right now. Check

1:00

that out and if you'd like to

1:02

see something I am up to. What am I up

1:04

to? I am on the road. If you wanna

1:06

see me do stand up comedy, go

1:08

to pete homes dot com. I

1:11

am coming up in New Orleans,

1:13

Dallas, Houston, Milwaukee, Madison, Wisconsin,

1:15

Royal Oak, Michigan, Minneapolis Minnesota,

1:18

New York, New York, and Ridgefield, Connecticut.

1:20

I will be adding some new dates as well.

1:22

Tickets for all of those dates will always

1:24

be at pete homes dot com or

1:26

follow me on Instagram. I'm always tweeting.

1:29

Yeah. I tweet on Instagram, I graham

1:31

on Twitter. It's just something I do. But

1:33

I'm always sending out those links. So check

1:36

that out if you wanna see me live

1:38

or if you're gonna be in the Los Angeles area.

1:41

Go to largo dash l a dot

1:43

com. We had to postpone the one in March,

1:45

unfortunately, due to a shooting conflict with

1:47

the TV thing I'm doing. But May

1:49

fourth is the next one in Los

1:52

Angeles. Go to largo dash

1:54

l a dot com for that if you're gonna be in the LA

1:56

area. Alright, everybody. That's

1:58

all I got to plug. Enjoy this chat

2:01

with the one and only miss

2:03

Pat. Get into it.

2:06

Take you can put your shoes on it. Sit like that's

2:08

I'm gonna put my shoes on because somebody got hit

2:10

me put them back on. I'm good. No. Don't take them off.

2:12

Put you put your shoes on.

2:13

No. Pete, this is how fat people see it. No.

2:16

I saw it. I didn't do that. Who

2:18

the fuck? He saw do that. Merck Christa. He

2:20

he I'm telling he was rushed to the emergency room

2:23

after. He did what now? He was rushed

2:25

to the emergency room after. If he was said, like,

2:27

he can't sit like

2:28

this. Oh, no. didn't take a lot of stretching

2:30

before this. You can't be lounging like I'm painting

2:33

your portrait the whole time. Here.

2:35

Here. Take this one. We're gonna at least

2:37

prop you up properly. Prop you up. There you

2:39

go. There you go. Okay. There you go.

2:41

Alright. How do you how does that feel?

2:45

Like, I won't go to fucking sleep. This

2:49

is a great big I'm a big

2:51

person. You're a big person. This is our couch.

2:54

Yes, it deep. If you see

2:56

it with no bone and no

2:58

bone, when you just relax.

3:02

You're I thought you were pointing out that I today. I'm

3:04

not wearing a bra. Oh. That's just me.

3:06

Okay. These are the ABCs of

3:08

me. Well, some I don't hey. This

3:10

is California. Y'all get to be free here.

3:12

So Are you do you live out

3:14

here? Hell, no. Where are you?

3:16

Are you I'm in Atlanta. You're in Atlanta. I was

3:18

just there.

3:19

What you?

3:20

Where was I in Atlanta? What

3:22

was the venue called?

3:24

He was performing there. I know because I saw

3:26

something. Yeah. I was performing in

3:28

Atlanta. I don't know. I can't

3:30

remember the name of it though, but I've been all over

3:32

Atlanta. Lafixco. Win

3:34

winery. See do we winery? That

3:35

sounds right.

3:36

Yeah. I think it was a city wandering.

3:38

Like a six hundred something

3:41

like a mid No. No. That wasn't No.

3:43

No. Okay? I know I saw

3:45

you coming to town. I I Yeah. I

3:47

asked everybody. I'm gonna ask you. You're from

3:49

Atlanta. Mhmm. I was like, what is

3:52

Atlanta? I asked a lot of people in Atlanta. I

3:54

was like, what is it? Like, you know, like, you say, like, what's

3:56

Chicago there? Like deep dish pizza? Mustaches,

4:00

white socks, and cubs. You go like,

4:02

name any city. You could say fucking Orlando.

4:04

People would be like, well, Disney World. We

4:06

got, like, swamp lands. Then I'm

4:08

like, what is Atlanta? What is Atlanta?

4:11

Tell me what it is. Limp of wings,

4:13

sweet tea --

4:14

Okay. -- so food.

4:16

Yeah. I like lemon pepper wings. I

4:18

haven't heard that.

4:19

Talking about the white side. White people stadium

4:22

hot dogs with sauerkraut. Like

4:24

that you're you're reading my Eastern European.

4:27

Okay. Now we're talking. So we're

4:29

crowd on a hotdog. Thank you. And

4:31

is it is it a segregated place

4:33

It seems like

4:34

no. It's it's it sounds very diverse. It's mixed.

4:37

I lived in Indiana for fifteen years.

4:39

And I was blown

4:41

away by the segregation. I'm like, why don't

4:43

y'all live out here and play there? It's

4:45

like, oh, it's too white. I said, well, the school

4:47

system is

4:48

awesome. Crimes, you know,

4:51

I I was shocked.

4:52

That's the premise of your show. You really

4:54

lived in India.

4:54

I really lived in India.

4:56

And why did go to Indiana. My husband

4:58

worked at General Motors.

4:59

Okay. So And when I moved at that little small

5:01

town play field, I was like, money

5:03

separate mean, money separates you in

5:05

Atlanta.

5:06

Yeah. Okay. In Indiana, they was

5:08

separated. It was a whole, like, mixed

5:10

people. If you was if you was had a mixed child

5:12

or use a mixed

5:13

cup, you little didn't fish you. If

5:15

he was white and the other side,

5:17

there

5:17

was a mixed race area,

5:19

I swear, man. It was fishy.

5:22

Yeah. Yeah.

5:23

Fishy. We're gonna put you in fishy. If

5:25

you have mixed parents -- Yes. You're right. --

5:27

playing field was, like, middle class and

5:29

Guys was for the super rich. Okay.

5:31

And in Indianapolis, that

5:34

was just for poll. That was for black.

5:37

Poor black. I ain't gonna say poor blood

5:38

pressure. You say I must say Did

5:41

you say Paul? I did say Paul. heard Paul.

5:43

It was a few I

5:44

just don't want it to sound like I was making hundred

5:46

and black. It was it was just so like,

5:48

you knew it it was crazier where I

5:50

don't think there's an area in Atlanta

5:53

for for mixed rice cupboard. They just

5:55

everybody just live everywhere. Right. But if you would

5:57

That's a good

5:58

issue. It was a lot of mixed rice cupboard.

6:00

In in India. Mhmm. Okay.

6:02

See, that's one of the things that I noticed

6:04

and liked about Atlanta. I don't know if that's

6:06

true of Georgia as a state, but Atlanta

6:08

for sure, there didn't seem to be lines.

6:11

Like there are in Chicago Chicago is very segregated.

6:13

It's like certain bus lines, certain

6:15

parts of town. Chicago's so

6:18

segregated. You better wear the wrong colors

6:20

and cross the street. You

6:22

mean gang affiliations?

6:23

Yes. That's what I mean. I

6:25

used to I sound like the NPR, like

6:27

subtitles. Miss Pat means gang

6:29

affiliations.

6:30

I which I play Chicago, I used

6:32

to play the the little club

6:34

downtown? Zenith. Zenith.

6:36

I never I never left the area.

6:39

Yeah. Okay.

6:40

I always stayed right in my hotel

6:42

and I just I don't

6:43

know. You were afraid of Old Town Chicago?

6:46

No. I just stay in my fucking room. I figured

6:48

if I made my room, can't nobody snatch me,

6:50

can't nobody kidding that man, can't get

6:52

killed, and I ain't getting no straight

6:54

bully that then belongs to me and will stay on my fucking

6:56

road.

6:57

If you get a bullet, you wanna make sure it was for

6:59

you. Yeah. Pretty much -- Yeah. -- at least

7:01

make sure it was intended.

7:02

I would just I'm I'm not I love

7:05

Chicago is a beautiful place, but it scares

7:07

me.

7:08

Yeah. Like, I can go to some other

7:10

place, like, demand out hour

7:12

when nobody really goes and just

7:14

and I'm okay. Yeah. But I I think it's

7:16

because of all the shit that you hear on the news.

7:19

I I don't grow my side in

7:20

Chicago. Yeah.

7:21

lot lot happens in Chicago. I mean,

7:24

big city. Big city. Big

7:25

city. Big city.

7:26

A lot isn't happening. Doesn't get reported.

7:28

You know what I mean? Yeah. That's people that matter the

7:30

same way. I mean, look look, we we

7:33

we got gangs and shit

7:34

too. Yeah. So I stay on my side of the road

7:37

there too. And did you move

7:39

into I'm you've had a lot of success.

7:41

I'm assuming you got a nice

7:42

place. There's beautiful houses down there. Oh.

7:45

I didn't wanna live around a lot. didn't wanna

7:47

live around us a little bit later. So I just

7:49

went down to the country part of Georgia and bought

7:51

me seven acres and built the house.

7:53

Seven acres? Yeah.

7:55

What? That's huge.

7:57

To be. Yeah. And y'all don't get

7:59

shit up here.

8:00

That's true. That's true. My

8:03

My manager Seven acres

8:05

though, you have people that work on it. Like, you're

8:07

not keeping

8:08

the land.

8:09

Like, some a staff has to take care

8:11

of seven acres. No. My family. I mean,

8:13

I just built the big house. Yes. And I've

8:15

built the podcast studio because you know our podcast.

8:18

And it's not We're not plugging your podcast. Well,

8:20

that's not one. Okay. I'm just I'm just kidding.

8:22

Let's go

8:23

tell people what it's called. I'm a hundred percent joking.

8:25

Oh, the pet down. The pet is packed. So

8:27

I built a podcast studio next to my

8:29

house. Oh, you recorded there? Well,

8:31

the house is still being built. Okay. So

8:34

I just bought seven day because I had a house there

8:36

and I'm a DIYer. So I said, you

8:38

know what? I'm a do this shit myself with no

8:40

sub country. Break. I'm a be the contractor.

8:43

Just you. And I went out of how to architect,

8:46

and I learned a

8:48

lot. It gave me a headache, but I'm

8:50

steel building to this day. Did

8:51

it make you realize why they have subcontractors?

8:54

I know why they have subcontractors. I didn't wanna

8:56

give them ten percent of my budget. I understand.

8:58

But you you never regretted it?

9:00

You're like, I'm glad I'm doing this. Like, it's all

9:02

funneling through

9:03

you. Yeah. I'm glad I'm doing it. Now

9:05

it's not going, it's if had a if I had a

9:07

contractor -- Yeah. --

9:09

it will probably move a lot of lot faster.

9:12

Yes. I had a lot of changes. Because

9:14

I was so excited to be doing

9:16

a a house that's big on my

9:18

own that it was things that I left

9:20

out. So when a house started get built, I was like,

9:23

no. I need another set of stairs.

9:25

No. I need

9:26

elevator. No. I need stairs. And

9:28

he's like, you've heard of change fees.

9:31

That's the thing. Yes, it is.

9:33

You're like Tommy Lee in the beginning of Tommy

9:36

and Pam. Did you watch that? Oh. Yeah.

9:38

They were doing their own house, and he was like, I need a rotating

9:40

water bed and something like that. Of they and the

9:42

contractors hated

9:43

them. Yeah. They come do you really have an elevator

9:45

in your house?

9:46

Yeah. Like a service elevator? I

9:49

don't know service on my Like a big ass

9:51

elevator.

9:52

Yeah.

9:52

I'm fifty. So I figured from there.

9:54

Oh, it's for you. It's not, like, to load stuff.

9:56

No. No. No. It's for my family, if I got it.

9:58

really for me and my husband to go upstairs

10:00

and slap the shit out of the kids. Yeah. You don't feel like

10:02

he's in the steps that

10:03

day. Well, you

10:04

don't wanna be wounded. Oh, I will

10:06

be winded. No. By the time you die. Yes.

10:08

Because the snap won't have won't

10:10

won't feel as hard. So if I take the

10:12

elevator, we should take a half a

10:13

second. Less than minute to get up there.

10:15

I could beat the hell out of the keys and come on my desk. God

10:18

help you if the kids figure out how to, like, short the

10:20

elevator and stop you. So you have

10:22

time to, like, calm down.

10:23

Like, they'll stop you mid floor.

10:25

I'm glad they don't listen to your partner. You

10:27

don't know that. You

10:29

don't know that. I reach all types.

10:30

I know they don't. They're they're pretty

10:32

young.

10:33

Okay. These are the ones you adopted.

10:35

Yes. These are ones that adopted.

10:37

From your niece.

10:38

The oldest is fourteen, the youngest

10:40

is nine. And you

10:41

I've heard you call them there. You're correct. You're

10:43

correct. You're not

10:44

making that up. And and they're how

10:46

where their ages afford and nine? No. They nine

10:50

nine eleven twelve

10:53

and four thirteen

10:54

fourteen. There's five of them.

10:56

There's four. Nine eleven

10:58

thirteen fourteen. Oh,

10:59

I'm sorry. I messed up. So how's how's

11:01

that going? Are are they is it They had them

11:03

for ten years. Yeah. So it's going

11:05

pretty good. This is my last set. I'm not taking

11:07

nobody else

11:08

keyed. Told my family to fuck y'all.

11:10

All y'all kids can jump off a bounce and

11:12

undone.

11:14

What was the decision like, though? I

11:16

mean, so your knees was

11:18

struggling with addiction. Yeah. I picked

11:20

her up one Christmas. I went

11:22

home to celebrate Christmas with

11:24

a side of the family that I don't fuck with. I

11:26

don't know why God tricked me. He's

11:28

like, you need to go spend Christmas with your

11:30

mama fell. I'm like, God, you need to stop fucking

11:32

with me. You know, he

11:34

just kept saying I need to go down

11:36

there. And so I go Why?

11:39

Why did he wait to go down there? don't know why you think

11:41

it had something to do. I mean, you were coming up.

11:43

No. Well, let me let me back up. So

11:45

I'm I'm I'm riding on two eighty five

11:47

in Atlanta one day, and I get phone call.

11:49

And it's my niece, and she said, auntie,

11:52

I need some Pampers for my baby. So I said, where

11:54

are you? She said I'm on counter roll. How

11:56

about my next exit? What's counter roll?

11:58

I get off at the exit and go to this Crack

12:00

Motteo. I mean, I've it's

12:03

been a while since I've it's been years

12:05

since I've seen a a true crack here,

12:07

either just dealt in drugs. I didn't even know people

12:09

still live like that. Scared to fuck out

12:12

of me. I take her some

12:13

Pampers. And then, other stuff to come

12:15

It's not maybe the technology would advance. Like, everything

12:17

else

12:17

is Stop people and stop selling poses got

12:19

off Joel's, you know, found something else to

12:21

do. I'm glad we circled back. I

12:24

interrupted it for that little gem. Yeah.

12:26

But but the culture hadn't

12:27

changed. You have been out of it for a long time, but

12:29

there it was.

12:30

Over twenty years. Still doing it, but

12:32

doing it the same way. Same way.

12:34

Yeah. Yeah. And so then my other niece called

12:36

and said, well, can you help point my kid's

12:38

something to eat. So I go over to a hotel

12:40

and there's my niece in there pregnant with

12:42

a third a fourth child and

12:44

got three crawling around on the floor and I was

12:47

like, Well, she was like, my boyfriend

12:49

got arrested for armed robbery. I said, well, he gonna

12:51

be there for while because they usually keep them. So

12:53

just come on and live with me. Well, you

12:55

made the choice then and there? Well,

12:57

I was just trying to help, you know, hoping

12:59

that she say no, and she say no. And I was

13:02

like, need my fucking part. She

13:03

said, no. I did an empty gesture.

13:06

Like, you're like, I can help you move, but

13:08

with four kids. And but she said

13:10

no. She said no. So she gave birth

13:12

to the baby on November twenty eighth,

13:14

and I had set up Christmas to go visit.

13:17

And by this time, she had moved in with some people that didn't

13:19

warn her. And my

13:21

my cousin was like, please

13:23

take her. And I ended up taking her. I

13:25

was like, oh, lord, you don't trick me and shit

13:28

going. Why you do this to me? And so

13:30

she wasn't even there a year she ran off.

13:33

Oh, that's how it happened. Yes.

13:35

And I went and got full custody because

13:37

I was gonna give I was gonna put them in the

13:39

system, but I had the baby since she

13:41

was two weeks old. Yeah. And the baby was

13:44

just starting to walk, you know, by this time I load

13:46

a fucking baby. So I just can't go drop

13:48

the baby off. Yeah. So I said, okay.

13:50

I said, god, why you do this to me? And

13:52

I never forget this peak. Voice

13:55

was put in my ear and

13:56

say, keep them, and I got you -- Mhmm.

13:58

-- and my whole life changed. Tell

14:00

me about this voice. Please tell me

14:02

I swear was the voice of God. You know, everybody

14:05

hear different things. But

14:06

was it this seem like outside of yourself. Like,

14:08

it sounds like my voice like, it was

14:10

it

14:10

was it was I don't even wanna say it

14:12

was a male voice. It was a warm voice.

14:14

Yeah.

14:14

And it But

14:15

it wasn't just in your head. It wasn't in

14:17

my head. By the way, it could be in your head. It

14:19

wasn't me to say, god, I never wear a phone

14:21

keys. It was You needed an

14:23

external voice for a life change this

14:25

big. Can I say last time I was in

14:27

Charlotte, the woman who drove me was an all

14:29

black woman car service? It was

14:32

called, like, pink boots or something. It was it

14:34

was amazing. They drove me too. And

14:36

from the airport. Anyway, she was telling

14:38

me I was, like, why he's still in Charlotte, and she was

14:40

like her mom was there, and she was standing in her

14:42

bedroom, and she heard God's voice. And I said the

14:44

same

14:44

thing. I was like, was it in an external voice?

14:47

And she was like, yes, it was. So this voice

14:49

is going around and making people

14:50

move back

14:51

to their mom's hometown and and adopt

14:53

four kids. That's a big deal.

14:55

Well, You better be an external no.

14:57

They came to Indiana. I brought them to Indiana

14:59

with

15:00

me. Okay. And we all just moved back

15:02

to Atlanta, but, you know, I

15:04

wasn't gonna keep those kids. I

15:06

I mean, I was I was really working hard to

15:08

get a company career out the ground. I

15:10

was doing okay

15:12

And I just didn't my kids was grown. My

15:14

kids was getting ready to graduate. My last two

15:16

were just gonna be done. I

15:18

was gonna be done. I was gonna be free. Just

15:20

me and my husband. I love how honest you are,

15:22

by the way. Everybody else would be like,

15:24

and you know, they're beautiful children.

15:26

Oh, no. And you're like, I don't want -- No. --

15:28

I don't fucking want them keys. And I

15:30

tell people all the time, I I love

15:32

them, but I didn't I didn't want them.

15:34

But they might

15:35

tell us that's tell me this, honest. And then

15:37

I put them in school, and I fell in

15:40

love with him and I'm like, well, shit,

15:42

every child, you know, we

15:44

can't pick our parents. And to me,

15:46

for coming from where I came from. Every

15:48

child deserves to

15:51

start off on a solid foundation. Yeah.

15:53

Now you get if your child fuck up their

15:55

foundation and breaking, cracking, it let

15:57

at least you can say, they beginning

16:00

was was solid. Yeah.

16:03

Because I know my beginning wasn't solid.

16:05

Right. And I know what I went through. We're

16:07

having a crumbles up under my feet. So

16:09

I was like How do I know what under your

16:10

feet? Crumbles. Crimes. What Break

16:13

I don't fucking know. I just wanna make sure I understood

16:15

that you said crumble. Yeah. You

16:17

try to walk

16:18

away, but you crumble. It's it's a great thing.

16:20

Creeks out broke in a no no fucking

16:22

foundation piece. I had no

16:24

foundation to stand

16:25

up.

16:26

I wasn't calling it to question what you

16:28

said. I just want I'm here to listen is you. I love

16:30

that. You're

16:30

she laughing. I made up the word. You know what

16:32

she laughing. I made up the word. It's crumb a word?

16:34

It crumb was a

16:35

word. Oh, crumb. Okay. Oh, here. Jasmine

16:37

knows. Is good. You I and and it's

16:39

the right word. You grew up in

16:41

a rough situation --

16:42

Mhmm. -- that had to inform, that had to

16:44

open up your heart. Why you what? That was

16:46

a you know, that wasn't my first set of keys that I

16:48

raised. That was, like, my full seat. So

16:50

obviously, you have your biological kid.

16:53

And then I had my sister-in-law keys.

16:55

And then I had my my

16:57

sister

16:58

kids, and then I had my

17:01

I had these kids. Okay.

17:02

Then you can say whatever words you want, and I'm gonna

17:04

say, you know what I mean? If you're raising

17:06

voice at the kids. And I'm I wasn't

17:09

I wasn't even I don't even think I was

17:12

Thirty I wasn't even twenty five

17:14

and I had already raised two sets of keys.

17:16

I don't know. A three sets of

17:17

keys. You're like a superhero or thing.

17:20

You have a damn fool. You

17:22

also see, when I heard that

17:24

you took in your

17:26

niece's four kids, I assumed

17:28

your your train had already come in,

17:30

show business wise. No. You were still trying

17:32

to make it.

17:33

Yeah. There's only

17:34

what's that look like. If you're going out on a weekend,

17:36

And now you got these four kids. You know, my daughter

17:39

was in the my daughter was a

17:40

senior, I think. And Excuse

17:45

me. She was getting ready to graduate,

17:47

and she wanted to go to HBCU. So

17:50

when I brought my niece in who was still

17:52

on drugs, but I didn't really know it because I ain't got

17:54

a job, got a clean, taught her how

17:56

to drive, bought a car, everything, you taught

17:59

her how to drive. Mhmm. Okay. Got her glasses,

18:01

got my I've never seen a human

18:03

being and I'm not fucking talking about

18:05

my knees. Well, yes, I am. I took her

18:07

to the dentist and they pulled eighteen teeth

18:10

I said, bitch, you only got thirty two?

18:12

No. Eighteen. They pull

18:15

eighteen teeth. That's more than half.

18:17

I'm doing the math right now. Well, I It's a lot.

18:19

I don't I I don't know how to fuck

18:21

that you even open your eyes with eighteen

18:24

raggedy STTM0. And

18:26

and there was a rush to get them pulled because she

18:28

was on Medicaid. So I was like, can you get them all

18:30

pulled? You know, she got a job never

18:32

her her health care of them kicked in, but she's still

18:34

on Medicaid. So, you know, the least

18:36

they can do on, you know, Medicaid is pull them. So

18:39

they pull all her fucking

18:40

teeth.

18:40

Did they give her fake teeth if she's just walking her mouth? They

18:42

was all in the background mouth, so she was able

18:44

to chew like a body ramble with the

18:47

front of her teeth.

18:47

Will you stop it? Yeah. I mean,

18:50

she nibble she became a nibbler

18:52

only. Oh, now she became a whole only.

18:55

More of a hole because I got them rhin teeth down

18:57

now. She can suck dick without a jaw

18:59

hurt. I can't. Yes, ma'am. This

19:01

premise. She just

19:03

have a toothache all the time. He's hard. It's like

19:06

a dick with a cheese toilet. No. Yes.

19:09

No. You can We see her.

19:12

Don't act it out. God's

19:21

It can't be. It can't be. They'll block it.

19:23

They'll block it. Yes, ma'am. Okay. So

19:25

they took out most of her

19:27

teeth. You got

19:28

glasses. How was that? How are she doing?

19:30

Really she is kid that had the same sex.

19:32

She cannot fucking see it all. So I ended

19:34

up getting her glasses. I bought a cosign

19:36

for her car. Help her got a job.

19:38

You know, taking shit on the right track. But somehow,

19:41

Craig Hayes fired all the crackers, and

19:43

she found where the crack was in Indiana. And

19:46

so I got an apartment and

19:48

everything, and she just fucking gave it all

19:50

up his said, I'm gonna

19:52

go get myself together. And so

19:54

when I called defects and asked them to help

19:56

me, they wouldn't even fuck help me. They told

19:58

me, well, the kids aren't aren't in danger you got food

20:00

in the refrigerator.

20:02

So they weren't worried about it? No. Because

20:04

you were there. With they were like, technically,

20:07

she didn't abandon the kid. I was like, yes, she did

20:09

the kids and come out of my vagina. She abandoned

20:11

these fucking

20:12

kids. They was like, no. The house looks

20:14

safe. Y'all got grocery. We'll see

20:16

you later.

20:17

Wow. That's incredible. And

20:20

then they told me I could get a check for two hundred

20:22

and thirty five What the hell is

20:24

two hundred and thirty five dollars gonna do

20:26

for four keys? Two

20:29

of them can share half an iPod.

20:32

Oh oh, apologies.

20:34

An old one. Yeah. The one that word when you

20:36

turned it on. Yes. So you can

20:38

get that one.

20:38

You know, I ended up keeping them there doing

20:41

great now.

20:41

And when you would go on the road or something,

20:44

what was Oh, I was telling you about my door.

20:46

She was getting ready graduated gonna go to HBC

20:48

newborn. I got when their mama left, my daughter

20:50

was like, I'm not leaving my father here with all these

20:52

kids. So she chose to go

20:54

to college at

20:55

home. Which was she

20:57

went to Purdue --

21:00

Okay. -- which is she did the online --

21:01

The chicken card. Yeah. So she went to

21:03

chicken college. No.

21:07

She went too dire, and I think she did ball

21:09

state online and she ended up getting both of her degrees.

21:12

And my son was in high school at

21:14

the time two

21:15

days, so they just stay home and help

21:17

raise their children out. That's nice. So and

21:19

because doing getting

21:22

where you are in comedy

21:24

hard enough -- Yes.

21:25

-- impossible. Yes.

21:27

It's impossible. Like, I don't know if it's

21:29

impossible. It was very difficult. So to

21:31

do it with all of these other things

21:33

going on. Yes. And also to come

21:35

where you came from before we get into that because

21:38

you've told that story a lot. So I'm gonna try and ask

21:40

you things you haven't been asked. Okay. I always feel

21:42

like George is a spooky like a like a scary

21:44

place in the in the haunted spiritual

21:46

way. You ever see a ghost? No. I've

21:48

never seen a ghost.

21:50

No. You would be who I would wanna

21:52

see a ghost. If somebody was gonna see a ghost,

21:55

I would like to see your reaction to a

21:57

ghost.

21:57

Because it

21:57

would be hilarious. I really

22:00

there's some people I'm like Can you say this to you, Pete,

22:02

to any

22:02

black people? Pull or action till

22:04

gold. Well, this is

22:05

what -- It'd be hilarious. -- this is what David Blame is figured

22:07

out. Yeah. You are watching, like, what

22:10

what kill you, goes, I'd be like, hey, up to the

22:12

fucking now, now, now, and we'll

22:14

be getting the fuck out. Why do y'all be like,

22:16

so what kill you, ma'am? And what city

22:18

are you from? You don't live and put the fucking

22:20

ghost on yada. Oh, yada. Oh, yada. Oh,

22:24

yada. Fuck up. What

22:27

about psychics. Any anything

22:29

ever happened to you. So let me I got a

22:31

psychics. Tell me your psychics. Right? So my

22:33

daughter told it tells me. Right? I

22:36

know you remember this. So she's you know,

22:38

before Bob said he passed away, we

22:40

became you know, I talked to him all the

22:42

time.

22:43

Yeah. Well, really.

22:44

Yeah. What a sweetheart?

22:46

I didn't put it out there at the doctor and then

22:48

like that, you know, he came to my house for dinner

22:50

and we would talk like He did little work, a little

22:52

light work. You're like, I don't have a contractor,

22:54

Bob. You gotta earn your keep. Can you help me

22:56

nail some

22:57

nails? No. I just I just

22:59

talked to him all the time, and we went out to dinner

23:01

for you. It's just comedy rip. It's all My

23:03

daughter's shut up, Pete. Sorry.

23:06

You fuck you talking to me, Tim. Sorry, helping.

23:08

That's the name of the show. These Rips aren't helping.

23:11

My daughter go to the psychic. Right? Uh-huh.

23:13

Where around a couple days after

23:15

my daughter's talking to this damn psychic. So

23:17

she tells me she say, mama, the

23:19

the psychic said Bob Seggett died from

23:22

heart attack. I said, what fucking psychic?

23:25

And so then she tells me then she

23:27

tells me sending this thing. She said, you've

23:29

been burping burping a lot. And I said,

23:31

yeah. You know. And so she was like,

23:34

the psychics said that you have a

23:36

a spot on your lawn. Scare

23:38

these shit out of me. Don't sit me

23:40

fucking. What's in the

23:42

spot? She don't sit me all of these

23:44

pictures that the psychic sent her

23:46

right. Whether

23:46

he's drawing them. No. Like colored pencil sketch.

23:49

Like, it's somebody it's like she's saying, this

23:51

is where so she sent me a rib cage. She's saying,

23:53

right here is what a doctor need to look. Really?

23:55

It's getting fucked up. I mean, I go into the dark

23:57

side. My daughter went in to a psychic

23:59

and a psychic saying, I got something

24:01

going on with me. It's red here.

24:04

So the doctor looked at the the scan.

24:06

He said, what the hell, stay for a cancer.

24:08

Because that's what that is. I said,

24:11

what the fuck? She paid this bitch

24:13

five dollars. And the lady would give her five

24:15

to touch her to five dollars every time she talked

24:17

to

24:17

her. And just don't send her somewhere. And

24:19

then when that Google Earth image, it was straight

24:21

up the underneath. Oh

24:22

my god. And I cause

24:25

my daughter to hook out. Top

24:27

of mama, she'd be happy to pull these fine dad,

24:30

I said, she don't do shit. She read the

24:32

article before y'all do. It acts like

24:34

she know the information. Oh my

24:35

god. Yes. This is

24:37

not a good psychic. Is that before

24:39

Bob passed?

24:40

No. There was, like, the day of the

24:42

day after he went. And they were super

24:44

hard. Oh, it

24:44

was hard to ask. So what are you talking about?

24:46

So that is also foundless. Foundless

24:48

--

24:49

Yes. because the day you know, she would have been thinking

24:51

about it. That's what everybody assumed. It was a heart

24:53

attack. Right. Right. But I'm like, what are you talking

24:55

about? I say, did they even know I knew

24:57

Bob's saying it? But they later, know how

24:59

they when you easy to fucking

25:01

manipulate out of five dollars at

25:03

a time. No.

25:05

Miss son told me I had cancer. The

25:07

the man said, man, this is stage four cancer.

25:10

And this person gotta be dead. This is

25:12

really bad. I don't took this

25:14

game into the you're not listening to

25:16

me. He's like, no, you're not listening to me.

25:18

Tell, okay. This is unbelievable. I'm

25:21

glad I asked you for your psychic story. I

25:23

know I'm gonna jump a little ahead of your

25:26

story that it was a

25:28

it was a social worker. Somebody told you

25:30

you should

25:30

do -- Mhmm. --

25:31

or your caseworker. Told you you should do stand

25:33

up. Yeah. Tell me the story the first time you

25:35

did stand up because that had to First

25:37

time I did. What did you talk about? And what did

25:39

you know about? I know you know now. You've been

25:41

doing it a long time. But when you're just starting,

25:43

we don't know

25:44

anything. So what what was miss Pat like the first

25:46

time you went up? And you're like, my caseworker said,

25:48

I should do this. A first time I what she

25:50

well, you know, it it stayed in my head when, you

25:52

know, when somebody said, oh, you should try something.

25:54

So I got my girlfriend and I didn't have no other time

25:57

for me. I said, look, I really wanna try to

25:59

stand up comedy out, you know. And

26:01

my neighbor was always edging me on too.

26:03

So I said, I said, well, I'm gonna try to stand up

26:05

comedy out. If it don't work, and they don't

26:07

like me because I wait. I started going to the

26:09

comedy club, and I went back and I was

26:11

like, you can go Monday through Sunday. Mhmm. Every

26:13

day of the

26:14

week, there was some type open microphone. And

26:16

you would go and watch? I

26:17

would just go and watch. Yes. I would just go and

26:19

watch. And nobody knew I wanted to be up to me.

26:21

I wanted to see

26:21

It's always the best advice. Just go and

26:23

watch a little bit see what it looks like. It doesn't

26:26

be the same MAC twice. I went for

26:28

six months. Watching. Just

26:30

watching. And so that I got the courage

26:32

up, and told my friend I was like, let's just go up to

26:35

this little place called the pub. And it was near

26:37

my house because I lived in Riverdale near in

26:39

the little pub. It was in Maruho. It was little bar.

26:42

And I went in there and I signed

26:44

up for open mic. And

26:46

I was so fucking scared. So I started drinking

26:48

corona's and I don't even fucking drink no

26:50

beer. And it was this white girl

26:53

and I'm just showing her ayes. And

26:55

I went in now. Wait. What? What?

26:57

Just act on the fucking foot. On the stage.

26:59

No. Just in the audience drunk.

27:01

Okay. And so I started off with the first joke

27:03

I ever told, which my brother was a a professional

27:05

cat burglar. And we used

27:08

to break in people's house. But one day, he kicked at somebody

27:10

door, a little old lady sitting there watching, like,

27:12

price is right. And he was, like, frees between

27:14

the FBI and national TV, and we ran

27:17

out of dope. Good

27:19

night. That was a very

27:21

first

27:21

of oxygen. That was a fair first

27:23

joke I ever told.

27:25

Is it true? Yeah. It was a true story.

27:28

That's the first news report you ever gave.

27:30

Like, you you turned in, you

27:32

kicked at the twist and freeze with the FBI --

27:34

Yeah. -- took the TV. -- two

27:36

black keys. Just running this. This little old

27:38

white lady TV run out of nowhere. And

27:40

she's like, the FBI needed to seize my

27:42

toe levision for an important game. Okay.

27:44

fuck, she said, we didn't look bad. This is like

27:46

when me and my friend, Opie, still our first playboy,

27:49

my job was to distract the

27:51

clerk. So you were basically the me

27:53

in that situation, and the other guy was

27:55

the Opie who actually stole the

27:57

magazine. You know what I mean? Yeah. Was the easier

27:59

job. Well, he's kicking,

28:01

he's yelling.

28:02

I think when my brother was picking up the TV,

28:04

I was unplugging it. Why she was just like, what the

28:06

fuck is doing? More job then. Plugger is very

28:08

important. Try and do that heist, that

28:10

scam without someone to unplug the

28:12

TV. And then see how far you go. Sky.

28:14

So that did it work? Yeah. My brother

28:17

always broken people house how we got school

28:19

clothes and food and, you

28:21

know, shit like that. Well, you know,

28:23

he that's what he did. You go to work.

28:25

We kick you going.

28:26

And you went with him. That was something that

28:28

you I I needed Pampers money. So if I got things

28:30

like if

28:32

we if we it was probably thirty

28:34

years ago, So oh,

28:37

well, I'm in marital. He is probably forty

28:39

years ago.

28:40

Wow.

28:40

So I had one child at the time, and my child

28:43

is next, thirty four. So

28:46

we needed stuff like school, clothes, or

28:48

money, or, you know, we were basics.

28:51

We were still stuff, like Right. I would go

28:53

in there and, like, steal detergent Pampers

28:56

if they had any, you know, going

28:59

any refrigerated food, whatever. Mhmm.

29:01

You know? And what what what we got

29:03

if we could say sail.

29:05

Right. It wasn't Katherine Zeta Jones going

29:07

underneath the lasers. This was like a crime of

29:09

necessity. You needed

29:10

basics. Yeah. We need a base. And how do how

29:12

are you getting in? My brother

29:14

was a good my uncle, when he was a kid,

29:17

taught him how to pick locks. That

29:19

I would never let anybody my uncle was taught

29:21

my brother how to pick locks. I never get

29:23

he started with a lock in your hand. Mhmm.

29:25

And he showed him how to pick that. Then it went to

29:27

door locks, then it went mean, went to bedroom

29:29

door locks -- Yeah. -- and then went to door

29:32

regular door

29:33

locks. Yeah. So my brother could pick a fucking

29:35

lock, like, nobody no of This was

29:37

Dmitry Martin, I think, had a bit about this where he's

29:39

like, what is the code of, like, the ethical

29:42

code of locksmiths? Because they teach you

29:44

in locksmiths school how to break it down. It's

29:46

my uncle Peanut top my

29:47

brothers. I know Peanut.

29:49

No, you know.

29:51

You might know Peanut, but You

29:55

can look. What

29:56

peanut plate on Fettuce? Dead dead

29:58

serious. No, you don't. You don't

30:00

know my uncle. don't know your uncle will pay

30:02

that. But he learned where did he learn?

30:05

III don't know. I guess, you know, I

30:07

grew up in a bootlegging. I used to learn a whole bunch

30:09

of shoes. So maybe Maybe

30:10

we're going at it. What were you bootlegging? My

30:12

girl I didn't bootleg. My girl is so muncha.

30:15

Like real bootleg. Yeah. Yeah.

30:17

Not like DVDs, on Canal Street.

30:20

Oh,

30:20

no. Those were the phone these were the phone electronics.

30:24

Look, the Internet used to just be moonshot. That

30:26

that's all people have. I remember we

30:28

said the number of men that came to the house

30:30

twice a day. You can play the it's lighter

30:33

right now, but you can play the number and the data.

30:35

And you played in the evening. Mhmm. And

30:37

my grandmother will look in the look in

30:39

the

30:39

newspaper. You remember the peanut carton?

30:41

I know peanut, I told you.

30:45

I gotcha. I gotcha. But

30:47

And you take a mic you take one

30:49

of the micro

30:50

Scott. What is those things? The whole PGI? Yeah.

30:54

Metrified glass. Yeah.

30:55

And he would get the numbers out of the penis,

30:57

the car too. You can still do

30:58

it. Wait. What do you what? I

31:01

need help. Okay. The Phoenix comic

31:04

strip

31:04

Well, I would have a lot of numbers. I

31:07

don't know how they put them together, but

31:09

but all people do this. They take the comedy

31:11

strip. And they get magnifying glass.

31:13

And you look put your look in

31:15

that category. Yeah. And it's all

31:17

types of numbers hanging off of those.

31:20

Really? I'll throw cartoon characters. I swear

31:22

my head to God. Go do it. So my

31:24

mama will play like

31:27

You mean in the drawing? And

31:29

So there'd be like a seven. Hair? It

31:31

could be in the hands. It could be in the

31:33

hands. You just gotta know what you're looking

31:36

for. So as a kid, we would they would give us

31:38

magnifying

31:38

glass, and we would look through the cartoon and

31:41

try to pick out what the number was gonna be that

31:43

day.

31:43

Did it ever work? Yeah. My girl, I

31:45

used to hit for fifty cent. He'll win

31:47

a hundred dollars. My mom is Of the peanut

31:49

strategy. Yeah. So peanut must

31:52

still use the comets strip to to

31:54

to get the lottery

31:55

numbers. I did not know this. Because

31:57

you don't know enough black people, Pete? I

31:59

know lots of black people. Well, you don't know nothing to

32:01

be looking at peanut.

32:06

You don't know me. I

32:09

love it. I I just It was like,

32:11

yes, I do.

32:13

Get a magnifying glass. Yes. And look in

32:15

the comments, there's a lot of people in

32:17

the hood. That's how they get a lottery numbers.

32:19

Wow. Okay. But

32:21

that's how they used to get a lottery numbers back

32:23

in the day. Yeah.

32:24

There might be a new way now. Maybe it's

32:25

Marmaduke now. Mhmm. Maybe it's

32:27

Marmaduke now.

32:28

No. I'm telling you, just try.

32:31

When you get a chance, get him a magnifying glass,

32:33

get the comment strip out of the newspaper,

32:35

the daily paper, and look through that. I don't

32:38

know why this is buddiest thing that anyone

32:40

called. I don't too bad. You never heard of it. You

32:42

never heard of it. Well, she

32:44

had a different type of black

32:45

person. She

32:48

had family.

32:52

You have you have family because what are you doing? With

32:54

a magnified glass

32:55

of glass,

32:56

they stop you. Did you ever break into a

32:58

house and it goes sideways? Did something go wrong?

33:00

One time my brother broke in the house, and

33:03

I was just sitting in the car. And homeowner

33:06

came up and through and and through

33:08

something that I was really busy. What

33:10

was

33:10

that? I ain't gonna think of the person might

33:12

hear you and he remembered.

33:14

Really? Yeah. But he threw something down there.

33:17

I'm I not threw something, but almost dammit

33:19

killed me, and I never went back.

33:22

Wow. And you're still I think the statute

33:24

of limitations is is you're clear.

33:27

I'm I'm quite sure I'm clear. But

33:29

you're worried that this man might be insane

33:31

and and come

33:31

fine.

33:32

That man was pretty old, so he's probably dead

33:34

now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. What do you

33:36

throw?

33:39

I hear that my brother just started shooting at each

33:41

other, and I'm ducking in the cars like, no.

33:43

You make you you helped me get out of this

33:45

shit. I'm never going again. And I never went

33:47

again. Oh, so this guy caught you bringing

33:49

in two thousand gun tire broke up? Well,

33:51

him and my brother, because I I always had a stolen

33:54

gun. And then he shot back. Yeah.

33:57

Yeah. That's all. And I think the man didn't kill

33:59

us because we were young black kids.

34:01

Okay.

34:02

He made he was black.

34:03

He made a judgment call.

34:04

Yeah. I was like, that's why he didn't

34:06

kill us. It was like shoot to wound. He

34:08

didn't shoot he didn't see me because I was in the floorboard.

34:11

I disappeared. I was like, if I get out of this shit,

34:13

and I had a baby at this

34:14

time. Right. And I was like, let me

34:16

tell you something. I just get my Pampers some

34:18

other

34:18

way. And did

34:20

you did you make good on that --

34:22

Yeah. I started -- now I

34:24

started working at a place it's, like, before

34:26

the Wifi house, a place called a Hatterhouse. What

34:28

was it?

34:29

Huddl House. Okay. You never heard of Huddl House.

34:31

Yeah. Most

34:32

people haven't. Huddl House? Huddl House. You're

34:34

right. I I guess I I don't know enough black people.

34:36

What is going on? No. It was before waffle house.

34:38

Okay. It was so three days. Was it yellow with

34:40

the black letters?

34:41

It was all white. Okay. You ever heard a whole

34:43

house?

34:43

See, Jasmine's got my back every day. She stepped

34:46

it away. But it was a place called the whole house

34:48

and I used to do waitress in there.

34:49

Okay. And I would get off at five o'clock in the morning

34:51

and still try to go to school because I had a baby.

34:54

Wow. You'd wear all night. Mhmm.

34:56

Oh my god. Catch your little nap.

34:59

Yeah. Probably the school night learned shit

35:01

till later on.

35:03

Oh my god. So you stopped you

35:05

stopped breaking into houses though?

35:07

Yeah. I stopped. But

35:08

you'd rather keep doing it? Yeah.

35:09

My brother, professor at Difant. He ended

35:12

up to go into prison.

35:13

For that? Okay. I

35:16

don't

35:16

know what the fuck he went to prison for. I haven't said I

35:18

wanna talk to each other. So I don't know why he's in jail.

35:20

But he went for a long time. Well, you never know

35:22

when he might pop him. Well, he's out

35:25

now. He was at Homeburg

35:27

Larry Joe. Like, he might break

35:29

into your house. I'm

35:32

fucking gonna break in my house, so I didn't know him.

35:37

So, El Robbie, right to your face. It was his ass worth

35:39

of money. No. He he didn't know around

35:41

me. No. I don't. He's too old now to

35:43

do all of that shit, but, you know,

35:45

we did that crazy shit when we was teased. What did

35:47

you go to prison for? You've been to prison?

35:49

Yeah. I went to jail for Sound

35:52

drugs. Sound drugs? Mhmm. Here's here's

35:54

the only question that I've thought of ahead of

35:56

time that I've asked so far. I've I've thought of

35:58

other ones, but this is the first one. What do

36:00

people get wrong about prison? You watch TV

36:02

about prison? People talk about prison?

36:05

You were there. What's what what

36:07

did they get wrong? How is it different

36:09

from what everybody

36:10

says? Or is it not?

36:11

What do people say about it? Horrible.

36:14

Yeah. You know what makes me mad about people

36:17

today? Like, people getting jumped

36:19

constantly in the in the shower. Well, I didn't

36:21

see all of that. Yeah. What what makes me mad

36:23

about people today that go

36:25

to prison and, you know, I

36:28

I did I did all my crying when I was young.

36:30

The ones who

36:31

wants, who thinks they had a hotel

36:34

in prison. Yeah. They have the destiny

36:37

to complain. You

36:39

wouldn't be in this situation if you wasn't

36:41

in fucking if you didn't commit a crime.

36:43

Right. So Now I'm not saying you go

36:45

and you beat them and you mistreat them. That's

36:48

their human being. Sure. But,

36:50

like, they have the right to

36:52

write in. It like, my son was my

36:54

son was a correction officer, right, in

36:57

Indiana. And the the the the

36:59

things people were writing one

37:01

got rolling and tried to sue the state of

37:03

Indiana and my son and said

37:05

my son normally came to work

37:07

with COVID and gave him COVID. And

37:11

sued.

37:11

Well, he tried.

37:12

He tried. I would I didn't

37:14

go anywhere, but just dumb shit like that.

37:17

Did they write grievances? Did he give him

37:19

go for

37:20

No. My son fell out, time he got COVID.

37:23

Well, dear motherfuckers gave my son in COVID.

37:25

Right. Yeah. Prison in COVID, not

37:27

a good time. Yeah. Wasn't a good time, so my

37:29

son got COVID. When my son

37:31

called COVID, when people was dropping

37:34

dead and we wasn't even it it went when

37:36

Trump was denying COVID was real.

37:38

Right. He caught that shit. What The

37:40

serious thing? Yes. When when they

37:42

picked him up from the house, from from the jail.

37:44

I lived across the street from the jail. They

37:47

called me and he was like, come get your son.

37:49

He's not feeling well. So I get up there his eyes,

37:51

his bloodshot red. And I was

37:53

like and I kinda touched. I was like, he

37:55

he he's hot. And he was like, you should take him to

37:57

the I said, I'm not picking up no hot nigga.

37:59

I said, y'all better call 911? So

38:02

they they call 911. They don't say shit.

38:04

They jump out the back of the atmosphere with the

38:06

hazmat suit, don't scare the shit

38:08

out of me. Like breaking bad. To

38:10

his ass and the animals that everybody get back

38:13

and asks me to hold his jacket. I said, I want his fucking

38:15

jacket, but I thought that shit ain't that with y'all. And

38:17

I didn't see myself for three

38:19

weeks. You

38:19

didn't want his COVID jacket? I didn't

38:21

know the Yeah.

38:21

We didn't know. We that's what I'm saying. It was before

38:23

his eyes. I couldn't even open his eyes. And when he did,

38:26

It was like his eyes was on fire.

38:28

And I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

38:31

That it they they rolled him out of the jail.

38:33

In his uniform, in a rollerway

38:35

chair and parked him on the curb

38:37

like he was like he was trash.

38:40

Wow. I still didn't wait for the ambulance,

38:43

but I stayed back. I was like, I'm picking him up.

38:45

He didn't get in my mother's phone call. What y'all do

38:47

to him? Mhmm. It was so funny because

38:49

now that my son is okay. The prison

38:52

was hot and out of the

38:53

jail. I hope you die your fat fuck

38:55

because they didn't like my son

38:57

anymore. Because all this was happening across from

38:59

the prison where they No. No. No. It was happening in the at

39:01

the Genesis. So they could see at the wunder.

39:03

So they was, oh, yeah. And I was, like, why they

39:06

don't like you? Well, my son. I think my son

39:08

was a ass. So but my son followed the rules.

39:10

You couldn't get him to do nothing. Break

39:12

the rules. He took his job serious. But

39:14

the all along with yellow, you die your fat

39:16

fuck. Mhmm. And they wrote him off and

39:18

he was gone for three weeks and he came back

39:20

forty pounds later.

39:22

Oh my god. Well, I'm glad he's okay.

39:24

Oh, he's fine. They eat COVID now.

39:26

He sprinkles it on this. Yes.

39:28

You don't lose any weight weight. So that's one of

39:30

the prison things is that there's, like, good guards,

39:32

bad guards. There's deals made,

39:34

your trading goods

39:36

and, you know, cigarettes and stuff. Is that

39:38

all true? That's true. My son said

39:40

my son have some funny prison stories.

39:43

One time he told me said, they called

39:45

one guard on on tape, and

39:47

they accidentally said, are you smuggling stuff

39:49

into the jail? So they was fine. Alright?

39:52

And she said, I'm not why you keep taking a prison

39:54

in the mob claw. She said, I'm not smuggling

39:56

anything in the jail. I'm sucking dick.

40:00

What she was

40:00

That was her defense. But that's what

40:02

she was doing. She was just sucking all the prisoners

40:05

dicks. For what? I

40:08

don't know she likes sucking dick, and

40:10

she wasn't that cute. So she figured, she

40:12

had it and meaning me that she wanted. So she

40:14

would she got the job to suck dick.

40:19

Can we please I

40:22

don't understand. A woman's just like,

40:24

god, I gotta suck a lot

40:26

of How do I do it? I

40:28

know. I'll become a prison

40:30

guard and just tell, like, where

40:32

it'll get around, like, meet me in the broom closet.

40:35

In broom closet. For no goods

40:37

or

40:38

anything, just that for the love of the

40:40

game, my son had the funniest

40:42

fucking prison store. He used to come home and tell

40:44

me that crap. I would laugh till

40:46

I piss on myself sometimes. No.

40:49

Yes. Okay. When you

40:52

were there, did you this is a dumb question,

40:54

but did you absolutely hate

40:55

it? Was it the worst? It

40:58

was just you couldn't go anywhere. It

41:00

was a bunch of lesbian stuff

41:02

going down. And I was in you know, I wanted to

41:04

get real young, like, eight

41:05

seventeen. Yeah. So I couldn't

41:08

understand that.

41:08

That's not Jivey. You weren't regular? No.

41:11

When crack when crack hit a miracle,

41:14

they and it's turned violent.

41:16

They changed going to jail from

41:18

the ages eighteen to seventeen --

41:20

Oh, wow. -- because so many and he

41:22

went when crack first came to America,

41:24

you could go to jail for crack and have a bond

41:27

that day. It was so

41:29

bad. There wasn't in drugs till it back out on

41:31

the street. You had to apply for a bond. So

41:34

when I finally I've I got

41:36

in trouble for selling. Correct? And then I ended up

41:38

on on probation. I validated my probation.

41:40

But while I was there, It just a bunch

41:42

of lesbians stuff. Like, people I went to

41:44

school. I was like, why are you gay? What ain't nothing

41:47

else here to do? Why don't I about eating my

41:48

boys?

41:49

Prison gang.

41:50

Yeah. Prison gave was a bunch of that.

41:52

Yeah.

41:53

And that was the first time I ever seen a mafadei.

41:55

Mhmm. That ass gave the shit out of

41:57

me.

41:59

Are we doing

41:59

I'm afraid I'm I'm pronouncing it wrong.

42:02

What's the case is if we still use that term?

42:04

It's a person who has both sets of genitalia?

42:06

Yes. Okay.

42:07

Okay. So I said, I'm I'm fifty

42:09

years old. So that's what it was called when I was in prison.

42:11

Oh, I don't she didn't think We're

42:13

not sure. But it's not like

42:16

an obvious

42:16

mistake. I think you're in the clear. Yeah. So

42:19

that was the first time I was seeing a woman

42:21

like that. Yeah. And she was showing

42:23

to and every and she will fuck everybody. And

42:26

she also had three nipples. Well,

42:29

I swear my hand to God, this lady had three

42:31

fucking nipples. And

42:33

I'm telling you, she had a nipple in both

42:36

spot and she had a nipple growing at the bottom.

42:38

And she loves to show it.

42:41

She had three nipples and she was a homophodate.

42:44

I had never seen it and I'm young and I'm like,

42:46

well, why you got a it was a little dick that

42:48

didn't grow all the way

42:49

out?

42:50

Yeah. And

42:50

they never cut it off.

42:52

Sure.

42:53

And it wasn't her click because she had that

42:55

too. And three naps.

42:57

And she had three nipples. This is a hard area

42:59

to rap fun. I'm gonna tell you.

43:01

Well,

43:01

I'm just telling you what I saw. Yeah. But she

43:04

but she fucked everybody in jail.

43:06

Yes. I fought a lot when I was

43:08

in there.

43:09

Like physical fights. Yes. Or

43:11

what? Did you feel

43:13

like you had to? See, that's another prison thing.

43:15

Like, You have to fight. You can't take any

43:17

shit. Well, you can't take any shit. Oh, what

43:19

does that mean?

43:21

So I I'm I'm in prison and

43:24

some dude slaps my food out

43:26

of my tray out

43:26

of here. Before I ever peaked on. Unless

43:30

You fucking fight back. Unless I you

43:32

gain some respect. Right then. Right

43:34

in. Like, I can't, like, plan it and be like,

43:37

I can't, like, my food's on the ground. Like,

43:39

alright. We'll see who's laughing tomorrow.

43:41

No. None of this shit. I have to do it right.

43:43

You would be fucked. Let me ask you this.

43:46

He snaps out of my hand. I'm picturing

43:48

a weird white supremacist guy, big motherfucker.

43:51

He snaps out and I fight

43:53

him and I lose. Did I still gain

43:55

some respect? A little

43:57

bit what I asked was weapon. Okay. Better

44:00

than just taking the

44:01

disrespect. I think it's better than

44:03

taking

44:04

the disrespect. Because I'm gonna lose, but

44:06

I'm at least, I'm gonna, like, flail around and

44:09

what if I do some something crazy like I pee on

44:11

them or something like that? You might

44:13

gain a girlfriend or boyfriend.

44:15

Which way? Is it my don't

44:18

know how you like you, Pete. I

44:21

just don't know if you mean, like, okay. Let's

44:23

get off that subject. That's a weird one. But

44:25

it's true that you have to fight and not

44:27

I mean, you have to defend yourself. And

44:29

what what was the first fight you got in prison?

44:32

I had so many. But I the one I

44:34

remember is, like, this crack it came in out

44:36

street and this lady kinda, like, mentally. I

44:38

was a somewhere wrong with him. Yep.

44:41

And I was on the phone. Back in those

44:43

days, you could talk on the phone. And if you wanted

44:45

to extend the call, I think you just measure money,

44:47

and they keep going, but they keep charging you by the

44:49

minute. And so Not a fault.

44:51

Yeah. Pay phone. They was all in this in the jail

44:54

cell. And I was on the phone for a really long

44:56

time. And I think she wanted

44:58

me to get out the phone. And so

45:00

I we got into it. So the next

45:02

day, while I'm on the phone, somebody

45:04

when I'm on the phone, she go upstairs and she pull

45:07

out all my shampoo and shit. All

45:09

my throw all my shit around in my room.

45:12

And so

45:13

so the seltzer just

45:14

opened or We're

45:15

doing a day they open. And I didn't walk

45:17

everybody in with their roommates.

45:18

Okay. So you could be in your roommates. You

45:20

could be in your room if you wanted. But

45:21

you weren't there. You're on the phone. So you're on the phone.

45:23

With your brother.

45:24

Somebody told me to turn around and that

45:26

she was

45:28

Say which one is that? Oh,

45:30

shit. What? She's just telling me the

45:32

time. Oh, so she tells me she

45:35

says she she somebody

45:37

said, Pat, she's standing behind you, you know, tunnel

45:39

around. She got a ink pen. And

45:41

so I turned around and me and his bitch get to

45:43

fight. And she was tall. She

45:45

probably was y'all high. And you see, I showed I am

45:47

and I was a lot smaller. I've never

45:49

fought anybody to the point where I was

45:52

like, God, can y'all please break us up?

45:54

I was so fucking tired fighting this

45:56

big old bitch. Because every time I had to jump

45:58

up and grab a by

45:59

hair. And we I was gonna throw over the

46:01

pole. It was like, you know, in in prison

46:03

got an upstairs and he got a downstairs

46:05

-- Yeah. -- like a mall? Yeah. I was gonna

46:07

throw her over the balance, sir. And my mind said, if you

46:09

do that, you ain't never get out of that bitch. Don't

46:11

make it. Right. And so I pulled her back on the

46:13

report, and I'm just hitting his creaky. And

46:16

hitting this crack, and she's not feeling it. She

46:18

just keep coming back from one. And was like,

46:20

what the fuck is the guard? But the guard up there and

46:22

the woman is just watching the fucking fight. So

46:24

finally, they come over and break the shit up right,

46:26

and then they throw us outside on

46:28

the basketball court on different sides.

46:31

And, you know, I'm in Georgia. Muscular's

46:33

eight hour assup.

46:36

Did

46:37

she have the ink pan as a weapon? Yeah.

46:39

As a weapon. She was gonna stab you with it.

46:40

said she was gonna stab me, so I turned around to start

46:43

swinging.

46:43

Because yeah. That's

46:45

scary.

46:46

Because you weren't gonna put your fucking hand on

46:48

me in jail.

46:49

The whole respect issue. When

46:51

I was young, back in the day, I didn't give a fuck. You

46:53

know what you're young? You don't think you can die. All

46:55

you do is fucking

46:56

fight. You act the food. Yeah. And that

46:59

that was my whole mentality. It's the

47:00

first ten minutes of the movie creed. You

47:04

said it's in creed?

47:06

No. It it's not out yet. creed one.

47:09

Well, I can't remember that flowback. Pete got

47:11

damn a little bit in

47:11

prison on his a bunch of people. I'm a

47:14

man. And then the mom from the county

47:16

I know we gotta go. But can I tell you Oh, we ain't gonna

47:18

go? We're just gonna go to the minerals. We're

47:20

Oh, let me tell you. Right. Are you kidding me? What I saw

47:22

last night? What was that movie? Felicia Rishad.

47:25

Caying there.

47:26

Because if it was created, I'd be like, you

47:28

should have create. I'm one secret. And I

47:30

don't go to the I saw cocaine barely. You

47:32

saw cocaine barely? Did

47:34

you love it? Fuck no. Oh.

47:37

That was the stupidest fucking

47:40

movie. And I hate to say

47:42

that. Tell me. I was my you know

47:44

what? It looks the previews look so

47:46

fucking good to

47:47

cocaine, bear.

47:48

Yeah.

47:48

It was a dumbest shit. Then it scared

47:51

me. It ended up being kinda like a scary

47:53

movie.

47:53

It was scary.

47:53

So it's based on a true story.

47:56

All the part was true was the cocaine got dropped

47:58

out of a plane. And I I think a bear

48:00

did it and died. Yes. He did it and died.

48:02

Yeah. But it they're like, what if he got really high

48:04

and killed

48:05

people? And that's what he did. Yeah.

48:07

It was a dumbest shit. I mean,

48:09

I've seen people on cocaine, but

48:12

nobody do this much cocaine in one

48:14

day. This month ago, in kilos

48:16

of cocaine. Yeah. I mean, it never

48:18

turned into the second day, the third day.

48:21

This bag ain't like twelve fucking

48:23

kilos of

48:24

cocaine. And fucking possible.

48:27

One kilo would have killed him. Also,

48:29

why does he wanna kill

48:30

everybody if he's feeling high on cocaine? Shouldn't

48:32

he have just tried to have sex with a lady, Biren, lost

48:35

his

48:35

Yeah. What? Did he did he try to get some

48:38

dead composite or whatever he was? Try

48:40

to get gold necklace or something or a

48:42

a disco. I I don't know, Pete.

48:44

But it what? I'm I'm riffing off

48:46

of what people usually do on

48:47

cocaine. Oh, wow. Spending

48:49

money, cocaine. It was a dumbest It was their

48:51

erection.

48:52

I I wanted to laugh, but I was

48:54

like, what the fuck is that?

48:55

But then got legit scary.

48:57

Well, when he was ripping people knee caps

48:59

off and shoes.

49:00

Yeah. That's not fun. And I mean, when I'm

49:02

sitting there, knowing knowing somebody who's dead with

49:04

cocaine. I don't know what the fuck of you

49:06

as a bear. You can't eat no block of

49:08

cocaine and just be running around hunting

49:11

on people. This got

49:12

them, like, twelve things of I

49:14

mean, duffle bags of cocaine. It's

49:16

a lot of cocaine. It's gonna kill

49:18

a bear. And

49:19

he wasn't mad at eat. Him

49:21

and his kids was on cocaine.

49:24

Oh, no. So I guess they couldn't kill

49:26

the bear in the movie. You couldn't get a band

49:28

to move because of Peter was like, oh my

49:30

god. You could at least set the band to

49:32

rehab. I'm

49:34

assuming that's more like more

49:37

like their agent named Peter was saying

49:39

there's gonna be a cocaine beer too. I mean,

49:41

this is clearly gonna make

49:43

money. That's Well,

49:44

I went to go sit and look so good. I was like,

49:46

but it wasn't what I was expecting. Yeah.

49:48

I tried to watch Brendan Fraser in the whale

49:50

last night. I'm not saying it's not

49:52

good, but it was so heavy

49:54

that I was like, he dropped a key,

49:56

and he's trying to get it with his, like, pincher cloth

49:58

thing. Yeah. Have you seen the whale? He's he's in a

50:00

big, big, big, big, big

50:03

prosthetic fat suit.

50:05

No. What are you

50:06

talking about? Brandon Fraser. That's a new

50:08

He got swallowed by a whale? No. No. No. It's

50:10

called the whale, and he's a big dude. And

50:12

that's why it's called the whale. But, like,

50:14

around the part where he's just trying to pick up

50:16

a key pin

50:17

Well, I

50:18

can't pick up my keys. Well, I

50:19

don't wanna see a movie of that either. So

50:22

what he was feeling sorry because he couldn't

50:25

he couldn't pick up his fucking thing. Right.

50:31

Fat people don't tie their shoes. That's why they buy

50:34

snowpoles.

50:34

Oh my god. Will you stop it? You're

50:36

killing me.

50:37

So Brenda Fraser is fat and what?

50:40

He's really, really big. Mhmm. And

50:42

he couldn't pick up a key. And it wasn't

50:44

that it was that horrible, but I was like,

50:46

I'm about to go to bed. I don't wanna have dreams

50:49

that I can't pick up a key for eight

50:51

hours. It was just it was a heavy movie.

50:53

But I laughed at myself, I was like, what did you expect?

50:56

What did you think it was gonna

50:57

be? Is it out? An at theaters?

50:58

You can rent you can buy it. It's also in

51:01

theaters. Yeah.

51:01

Oh, I might have to check that

51:03

one now. Yeah. It'll it'll solve

51:05

the problem

51:06

that you can't I can't I can't bend over

51:08

sometimes. He's like nine

51:10

years. I mean, he's he's a he's

51:12

real big. He's like Gilbert Great. Remember what's eating

51:14

Gilbert

51:15

Great? Yeah.

51:15

I remember that movie.

51:16

Yeah. It was like

51:17

That was a woman. Right?

51:18

That's Gilbert Great's mom. What she eating.

51:20

That that was a better better tell. She was a very big

51:22

woman. That's

51:23

the one they told her on the side of the house to get her

51:25

out.

51:25

That's right. But in the will Did

51:27

they ever put her on a day?

51:29

I don't remember because it wasn't really about her.

51:31

Was it?

51:33

I'll stay

51:33

in the whale. It shows him eating a lot.

51:36

Because you know

51:37

Did he lose the weight? I

51:39

don't know. III left around the key part.

51:42

You was at the theater? No. No. No. I bought

51:44

it. I was home alone because Valp, my wife

51:47

doesn't wanna watch it. So I was like, I wanna watch it.

51:49

And I'm not saying it's not

51:50

good. I'm just saying it was it was very

51:52

heavy. It was a little bit like cocaine bear was scary.

51:55

Well, it's

51:56

sadder than than they made it like cocaine,

51:58

bear was was scared me in

52:00

some points. But it was

52:02

not as funny as it looked like it was gonna

52:04

be. Right. And I

52:07

wanted to see a little bit

52:09

more story, then the bear just ripping

52:11

everybody

52:11

apart. Yeah. So, you

52:14

know, what's

52:14

what are his dreams? What

52:17

are his hopes?

52:18

I just wanted it it didn't do it for me.

52:20

I understand. But III we went,

52:23

you know. I'm forty three.

52:25

I have a daughter. People like you wanna see cocaine,

52:27

bear. I'm like, No. Just

52:29

just flat out. No. I'm gonna watch half

52:31

of the whale.

52:32

Well, I'm gonna go check out the whale because

52:35

you know, I wanna get back into going to movie

52:37

theaters. Yeah. You know, and I

52:39

get to AMC here -- Sure.

52:41

-- at the stadium. -- cup

52:43

out they fucking nacho's

52:46

was the the cheese was cold. And

52:49

they had no survival skills on how

52:51

to make them hot. I'm like, ma'am,

52:53

go go pop it in the microwave. Go soak it in

52:55

some hot water. Give my fucking

52:57

nacho. I'm going to the bathroom and run some hot water

52:59

over it. I'm

53:02

sorry. But if nacho cheese isn't hot, that's

53:04

just a that's a that's a hate

53:05

crime. That's an assault.

53:07

Oh, I was fucking horrible. Yeah. No. It's terrible.

53:09

Alright. Let's go to the mid rolls. And then when we come back, I

53:11

wanna hear a little bit about your show and how it

53:13

happened. The miss Pat show -- Okay. -- which I'm still

53:16

hoping to come on.

53:17

You come and pick. I gotcha. Alright. We'll

53:19

be right back. Part of the interruption weirdo

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1:00:04

Alright, everybody. Let's get back to miss Pat.

1:00:07

And we're instantly back. Tell me a little

1:00:09

bit about how the miss Pat show came about.

1:00:11

I mean, We we were just

1:00:13

in prison fighting a a woman who was

1:00:15

on crack cocaine and she was gonna

1:00:17

stab you with a

1:00:18

pen. Mhmm. It's a long way from having

1:00:21

your show be Emmy nominated. Going

1:00:23

to the third season. Yes. What

1:00:25

is going on?

1:00:27

How did it happen? Honestly,

1:00:29

podcast made it happen. I did a I get

1:00:32

I did Mark Marron podcast. Uh-huh.

1:00:34

And right after that, I did rollkin.

1:00:36

And from Mark Marron Podcast,

1:00:38

I sold a and I sold I mean,

1:00:41

I got audition I mean, people call me in

1:00:43

and say,

1:00:43

hey, I wanna give you a

1:00:44

book. No. Really?

1:00:46

At the same time? At the same

1:00:48

time. So but

1:00:49

it still

1:00:49

took five years to get the show on TV. From

1:00:51

this podcast, you'll get a ten minute spot at the belly

1:00:53

room.

1:00:54

Okay. We're good. I'm looking forward to it.

1:00:57

Pete already had it tonight. I

1:01:00

can't even give you what you don't already have.

1:01:02

So you did, Marin, you told your story. They

1:01:04

were like, please put that in a

1:01:05

book. Then you said, then you did Rogen, and

1:01:08

someone's like, please make that into a show. I will say this,

1:01:10

I did. Arie, and a lady heard me say, I think I can

1:01:12

get you a book deal. Well, we had

1:01:14

started working on the book deal, and we

1:01:16

released Marin and then the

1:01:18

the publishers came along and bought

1:01:20

the book. But at that time, Hollywood

1:01:23

started I had six interviews. After

1:01:26

that, to come on, to just talk about

1:01:28

you know, to just try to see if I had anything.

1:01:30

Yeah. And I've signed with

1:01:32

one company nine months later that didn't work

1:01:34

any measure for TV shows. TV shows.

1:01:37

Imagine, Brian Howard company picked

1:01:39

me up. Yeah. And said, I think we

1:01:41

can develop something with you. So they brought

1:01:43

Lee Daniel on a project. And

1:01:46

we it took a little time. I went through

1:01:48

a few writers. I finally got a writer that understood

1:01:51

the projects, and then we wrote a pilot

1:01:54

We sold it to

1:01:54

Hulu, Hulu, Shadi, say hell, no,

1:01:57

and we waited. How how is that? Don't

1:01:59

don't gloss over that. That must have been painful. That

1:02:02

wasn't painful. No?

1:02:03

No. I'm I mean, I'm a I

1:02:05

come from a background where I'm I'm

1:02:07

conditioned to hear no when you

1:02:09

say, yeah. That's when I was like, what the fuck

1:02:11

you say?

1:02:13

So That's what you don't know to do it.

1:02:15

That is a protective mode for

1:02:16

me. Sure. Sure. Because so many times

1:02:18

in life, people have let me down. So

1:02:21

I expect for you to say no.

1:02:23

So when you say yes, I'm

1:02:25

shocked. Right. So when Hulu

1:02:28

picked it up and they shouted, and,

1:02:30

you know, it it wasn't they felt like it

1:02:32

wasn't for the platform. Right. But

1:02:34

I have to always have to think who love because

1:02:37

they helped us create such a

1:02:39

great pilot. Yeah. When

1:02:41

we took it out again and BT

1:02:44

Plus looked at

1:02:44

it, they automatically bought it.

1:02:46

Wow. So it was the same pilot. You didn't reshoot

1:02:49

the pilot? No.

1:02:49

We didn't reshoot the pilot.

1:02:50

Briefly go to Fox there too. Well well,

1:02:52

I tell you, I don't need Daniel. What's called

1:02:55

at a time? Empire

1:02:57

was the biggest thing on TV. So

1:02:59

Fox gave me the deal. And when

1:03:01

I the third writer came along, he told

1:03:03

them that I should be on streaming, and I

1:03:05

should eat and censor me.

1:03:08

So we took it over to Hulu.

1:03:10

Oh, because Fox is gonna be you

1:03:12

know, I fucking

1:03:13

A lot less motherfuckers and -- Yeah. --

1:03:15

every all of that. Yeah. I mean, even with

1:03:17

the even with

1:03:20

the content, You know, we did

1:03:22

this second I thought you said Contis,

1:03:25

and I'm gonna be honest. Contis? Because I was

1:03:27

like, you can't say motherfucking. You're like, you can't say

1:03:29

Contis, tease, but you were saying

1:03:30

content. Yeah. Content. So,

1:03:32

you know, like, I did an abortion episode.

1:03:35

Right. Where I'm in my I'm in my late

1:03:37

fifty. I'm in my fifty years old and I get

1:03:39

in a portion, well, I'm still married. Fox

1:03:41

ain't going for that.

1:03:42

Right. Right. So, you know,

1:03:44

some TV just like the time shit

1:03:46

up in a bow. We don't do that over there. We

1:03:48

we if we're talking about something, we're

1:03:50

gonna talk about it. Right. Right. The way

1:03:52

real people should talk about it. Right.

1:03:55

So, you know, we went to

1:03:57

Hulu and after they shouted, they

1:03:59

said, no. And BT Plus picked

1:04:01

it up and At first, I was a little

1:04:03

worried. There was a new platform. I

1:04:05

had never heard of BT Plus. Yeah.

1:04:07

And after

1:04:09

doing some research, and I just told my

1:04:11

co creator said, look, if

1:04:13

it's good, people gonna

1:04:15

come. Two things, and I said it's all the time.

1:04:18

Two things in this world I've never seen a commercial

1:04:20

fall. Is crack and waffle

1:04:22

house. And they're both doing fine. They're both

1:04:24

gonna sale. They've been doing five for years.

1:04:27

So I said if we put crack, and

1:04:29

put little cheese and eggs and they crack,

1:04:31

we're good. We we got we got

1:04:33

a

1:04:33

recipe. And that's what we did.

1:04:35

And it each year, it catch on more and

1:04:37

more and more. Right. And didn't you do

1:04:39

multiple

1:04:40

seasons? Like, didn't they buy multiple seasons

1:04:42

or something's going on where you got picked up for two

1:04:44

seasons at the time? did I did season

1:04:46

two, and then in the middle that they came in.

1:04:48

And it did season three. Mhmm. And

1:04:50

so at at the season one, I ended

1:04:53

up getting an overall deal with Viacom and

1:04:55

BT Plus.

1:04:56

Wow. Good for you. Yeah. It's incredible.

1:04:58

And how has your life changed? I mean, this is a new level

1:05:01

of

1:05:01

success. You've been poor. You've

1:05:03

been breaking into houses to steal diapers.

1:05:05

Cylent. But you And now you're gonna set

1:05:07

up Always had money. I saw a crack.

1:05:09

Mhmm. I I did a lot

1:05:11

of crazy shit in my life to get

1:05:13

money. You mean, you weren't hurting.

1:05:15

You

1:05:15

were selling crack, you were doing okay? I

1:05:17

was doing really fucking well. I

1:05:20

made a lot of fucking money.

1:05:23

I

1:05:23

mean, you really were I made a

1:05:25

lot of fucking money. Where were

1:05:27

you in the in the food chain

1:05:29

of drug dealing? You weren't just working the street, then

1:05:31

you were distributing? No. I

1:05:33

was making a lot of

1:05:34

money. You were making the deals with the importers

1:05:37

or the oh, well, people are making crack. People

1:05:39

cook crack. Well,

1:05:40

I cook you cook you own. You cook

1:05:41

own crack. Yes. You cook. It's it's

1:05:43

no sense that you cook

1:05:45

the powder. Yes. That's the white people

1:05:47

draw.

1:05:48

Right. And you turn it into cranks.

1:05:50

Right. Do you know that you can give more time

1:05:52

for the crack? Yeah.

1:05:53

That you can. PodOCA k?

1:05:55

Absolutely. Which is in

1:05:58

institutionalized racism. It's like normalized racism.

1:06:00

Because power is for

1:06:01

you.

1:06:02

We don't use power. That's right. Black people

1:06:04

smoke. Yeah.

1:06:04

I don't like that. I'm the example of whiteness I

1:06:06

mean, I'm just sitting I'm just sitting across from me.

1:06:08

Yeah.

1:06:08

No. I got it. If there was another white guy, we could adjust

1:06:10

you.

1:06:10

Well, I can say her name. She said she won't

1:06:12

be alone. Let's go and skiing if you know what

1:06:14

I mean. What? She does a lot of Coke.

1:06:17

Oh, I don't believe that. She has listen

1:06:19

to all these podcasts. Do you think she's doing that? I

1:06:21

think she's doing Starbucks. Yes. That's

1:06:23

what I think she's doing regular

1:06:25

Italian. Italian. No crackers. If she

1:06:27

was doing cocaine, she wouldn't have no teeth.

1:06:29

She is really nice. That's

1:06:30

right. We know that for a fact.

1:06:31

Is that your wife? Oh, no. That's Katie. Oh, well,

1:06:34

well, Daniel. No.

1:06:36

That's her official title. That's Katie. It

1:06:39

got Daniel. No. That's Katie.

1:06:42

You didn't mean it as an insult. Katie,

1:06:44

anyway, she'll view a boy or

1:06:45

girl, not a miss society. That's

1:06:47

it. It is a a fab

1:06:49

assigned female at birth. She's been our producer

1:06:52

for over ten

1:06:52

years. Oh, great, Katie. Nice to meet you.

1:06:54

So you were making a lot of money -- Mhmm.

1:06:57

-- making your own

1:06:58

crack? I was not making my own

1:07:00

crack. You said you cooked it? Yeah.

1:07:02

You cooked. They came across it. Yes.

1:07:04

You got the cocaine. Mhmm. Here's a question.

1:07:07

Why make it into crack? Because

1:07:09

black people didn't do powder. We care

1:07:11

about our nose. That's

1:07:13

why? Because you'd rather smoke something than

1:07:16

Well, because you can freebase the powder. Aren't

1:07:18

you? It was just not It's marketing

1:07:20

really. Like, it just wasn't really introduced. I

1:07:23

don't know if the high was better. I don't know

1:07:25

because I've never I've never done no

1:07:27

cocaine or crack. Right. But it it was

1:07:29

just something, you know,

1:07:32

black people wasn't

1:07:33

into. Right. When I when I as

1:07:35

far as I can remember back, it was always correct.

1:07:38

Which I'm not an expert on the history, but

1:07:40

it it did seem like in a deliberate attack

1:07:43

on impoverished black communities. It's

1:07:45

like, let's do let's let's flood it in

1:07:47

and make a lot of arrests. And like you said, you

1:07:49

you

1:07:49

Well, you gave I think you gave the black community

1:07:52

something. The poor

1:07:54

poor black people wasn't used to, which was

1:07:56

mighty. They was able to buy better

1:07:59

things, do better things, live a little bit

1:08:01

better. You mean to the dealers? The dealers.

1:08:03

And then that's when you saw the killing

1:08:05

came along. It was all set up.

1:08:08

Right. You know? Because, I mean, think about this.

1:08:10

Well, you I I don't know how you are black.

1:08:12

Forty three. The black father was never removed

1:08:14

from the household until crack

1:08:17

hit the black community. Tell me. You never

1:08:19

heard we didn't have a daddy. Everybody had

1:08:21

a daddy. Black men wouldn't work

1:08:23

all the

1:08:23

time. Right. Soon as crack hit the black community,

1:08:26

it destroyed the black homes. Mhmm.

1:08:28

And you feel like that was intentional? I mean, you wouldn't

1:08:30

be the

1:08:31

only Well, we as black people feel like that was

1:08:33

intentional.

1:08:33

Right. It was by design. Yes. I mean,

1:08:36

in the same way as justification when they

1:08:38

come in and they want you to black people's like,

1:08:41

it's in Baltimore, in Atlanta. We

1:08:43

need that. We need that city.

1:08:46

You know, so they can control the fucking

1:08:48

state.

1:08:48

Right. You

1:08:49

get out you get out of those poor black people out

1:08:51

of Atlanta. That's a big ass conquerors

1:08:53

of the state. Right. Right. It's also

1:08:56

like sitting. This it seems like there's this

1:08:58

belief that there has to be somebody at

1:09:00

the bottom. So whoever's at the bottom, keep

1:09:02

them at the bottom. Is that is that part of

1:09:04

the theory? It's like, let's because you it

1:09:06

was already a community that was struggling. Right?

1:09:09

Yeah. And then you flood it to keep it

1:09:11

down. You know what I mean? Like, it

1:09:12

make it worse. You know, I just saw this thing on

1:09:14

TV.

1:09:15

I'm driving a truck. I don't know. I saw this thing on

1:09:17

TikTok. And this guy was speaking. I don't know

1:09:19

if y'all ever seen it, but he was saying was

1:09:22

a white dude telling the story. He said

1:09:24

rich people come into porn

1:09:26

pornhub and buy buildings. And

1:09:29

leave them to them so they can drive them

1:09:31

the value of the neighbor. Mhmm.

1:09:33

So if they drive his soul low, they

1:09:36

could continue to buy all their buy shit

1:09:38

and let it go raggedy. And

1:09:40

they'll drive down the value of the neighborhood.

1:09:43

And when they do that, they can get everything

1:09:45

in that neighborhood for free. So if you

1:09:47

really did your research on a lot of those condemned

1:09:49

buildings in the ghetto, they're owned

1:09:51

by sometime one company or one

1:09:54

person. Wow. And as they do that,

1:09:56

they bring down the value to say, oh, this is a ghetto.

1:09:58

And then the city just started giving you shit. Hey,

1:10:00

we'll give you this. We'll give you this. We'll give you this

1:10:02

to fix it up. Right. When it was always

1:10:05

somebody behind

1:10:05

it, driving down the value of the black

1:10:08

community.

1:10:08

That sinister. Yeah. That's really devilish.

1:10:11

Welcome to America.

1:10:12

Welcome to America. Into the camera, please.

1:10:14

Welcome to America with miss Pat.

1:10:16

I mean, it's dark ship. And you do you

1:10:18

tackle stuff like that on the show. I've seen I haven't

1:10:20

seen every

1:10:21

episode, but you go after police

1:10:24

violence, murder, all that stuff.

1:10:26

We we have not did one

1:10:27

holy brutality, have we? There was

1:10:29

a joke about it.

1:10:30

Oh, no. wasn't

1:10:33

sure.

1:10:33

No. No. You said that you could black people

1:10:35

don't buy lottery tickets. Oh,

1:10:38

yeah. To get out road. I can't even

1:10:40

remember, like, oh, I said, oh, it was

1:10:42

it was in my monologue. I said

1:10:44

black people I thought you said

1:10:46

on the airplane. Because then

1:10:48

the woman Oh, yeah. The woman said next week was

1:10:50

that was actually a bit. So when

1:10:52

I was creating this show, I moved to Plainfield

1:10:54

Indiana. And I lived in that

1:10:56

little white neighborhood. And used to

1:10:59

I used to fly Southwest all the time.

1:11:01

Mhmm. And so I like

1:11:03

to talk to people. Just to see

1:11:05

what they think it. I don't judge you if you

1:11:07

if you vote or believe in whatever. It's just a conversation.

1:11:10

And I think as Americans, it's the things that

1:11:12

we could we we should

1:11:15

do more of. We can get a better understanding.

1:11:17

Mhmm. don't say you racist because you vote

1:11:19

for Trump. I don't want you to think of something

1:11:22

wrong with me because I vote a certain way. I

1:11:24

think no matter which way we

1:11:26

vote or believe and we should be able

1:11:28

to

1:11:28

We should be able to respect each other. I agree.

1:11:30

So how when I used to fly Southwest, I would always

1:11:33

say

1:11:33

Southwest is the place where you can have those conversations.

1:11:35

Yes. Yes. That's right. So I was,

1:11:37

like, a plus. Right? Get on a plane first.

1:11:39

And I would always block our foot seat

1:11:42

for a white person.

1:11:45

Okay. Oh, I'm not lying. For somebody

1:11:47

that did not look like that I would talk to them

1:11:49

daily, but usually, it would strongly be

1:11:51

white means every time every not

1:11:53

that I'll get a vocal white

1:11:54

woman.

1:11:55

Yeah. But I would block off the the seat

1:11:57

at, like, I'm waiting on somebody. And as they

1:11:59

come down, I'll I'll catch my victim. And

1:12:02

once I mean, and I you

1:12:04

know, I start off as a regular conversation and it

1:12:06

would get into life or we get into religion

1:12:08

because I'm

1:12:09

like, I'm a easy person to talk to.

1:12:10

Yeah. You are.

1:12:11

And so that's how their whole bit

1:12:13

came about.

1:12:15

With the lottery bit?

1:12:16

With yeah. The lottery bit and said no

1:12:18

You said that to someone?

1:12:19

Yeah. That was I I made a bid out of

1:12:21

it. Yeah. But it's based on something you said

1:12:24

on the Southwest Life. Tell the people what you said because

1:12:26

I know what you said. Don't I can't remember to be.

1:12:28

You said, well, I don't wanna say it, but No.

1:12:30

I'll say it. You said black people don't buy

1:12:32

lottery tickets. They just

1:12:33

wait.

1:12:33

All the police to shoot your child.

1:12:36

And then maybe you'll get a nameplate on your settlement.

1:12:38

Yeah. And then And then tax it.

1:12:40

Yep. That was a that was

1:12:41

a It's very dark thing, but it's a way of addressing

1:12:44

something that Is there true? Yep.

1:12:46

We they kill all kids, you

1:12:48

know, the police. You know? And

1:12:51

and I look I try to look at it in both ways.

1:12:53

I say this to a police officer.

1:12:57

Think about it. That was your child, somebody

1:12:59

was shooting. Would you want your

1:13:01

truck child to be treated the way

1:13:03

you see these black I don't give a

1:13:05

fuck if he did it run from me. I don't give a

1:13:07

fuck. You're a police officer. Your whole

1:13:09

thing is to take a man alive and make sure

1:13:11

you're okay

1:13:12

too. Mhmm. You

1:13:13

know, I could see somebody trying to harm you,

1:13:15

but, god, you shoot somebody if I have a cell phone

1:13:17

and they have fifty five times. Right. That's

1:13:19

a problem. Right. But no but this was

1:13:21

wrong with this contract. On this world,

1:13:23

I believe nobody ever put their stuff in

1:13:25

this

1:13:26

situation. That's

1:13:26

right. That's that's the core of the problem as we

1:13:29

we we forgot that we belong to each others? Yes.

1:13:31

So would you want somebody to train your child

1:13:33

that away? Right. Would you want somebody

1:13:35

to being the dog shit out of your child?

1:13:38

Shoot your child like that. So when

1:13:40

when I made that whole bit and I opened it up

1:13:42

with that because I tried to give the other

1:13:44

two writers that, but they wouldn't listen to me. But

1:13:46

I'm like, we can be funny, but

1:13:48

we can also be sending a message.

1:13:50

But we ain't gotta hit. Miss Pat Show,

1:13:53

no, it's not a teaching moment for white people.

1:13:55

It's a teaching moment for all of

1:13:57

us. Mhmm. Even when I did non binary

1:13:59

episode, it was because my daughter

1:14:02

is gay and my other daughter had

1:14:04

a friend like that, and I had never heard of the

1:14:06

word non binary. Mhmm. And when she said

1:14:08

she was neutral gender, what is Gender

1:14:11

Gender neutral. Gender neutral.

1:14:13

Gender neutral is very different. I

1:14:16

I said, why are you neutral gender?

1:14:18

No. Jetergina. Yeah. Jetergina.

1:14:21

Martin Martin Lawrence, Will Smith. So I'm just

1:14:23

Jetergina.

1:14:23

Jetergina. Oh, I'm

1:14:24

sorry. Yeah. Yes. Pulling out the shampoo,

1:14:26

we're back in prison? Yeah. So, I

1:14:29

mean, it's it's it's it's just something that,

1:14:31

you know, it's it's hard

1:14:32

conversation. It's like humor can help.

1:14:35

Yes. When you do it funny, I'm sure

1:14:37

the Southwest flight was the same. You can you

1:14:39

have a specific talent, spider.

1:14:43

Of addressing things inside tiny

1:14:45

baby little spider. You should've killed it.

1:14:48

Oh, he's he's definitely hobbling. I

1:14:51

went like

1:14:51

that. That was huge for him. It was like I said,

1:14:53

oh, in

1:14:54

three weeks he's gonna be so big. But in a way,

1:14:56

he can go. I

1:14:58

was just trying to give you the compliment that you

1:15:00

are so funny. There's a lot of

1:15:02

things that you can tackle and address for

1:15:04

a lot of people to watch and enjoy. Yes.

1:15:06

That that it's

1:15:09

very hard to do. Nobody can do that. Very, very

1:15:11

few people can do it and very special in

1:15:13

that way. We're almost at a time which I hate.

1:15:15

But What do you

1:15:17

think about God real quick? God.

1:15:20

Yeah. God. We talked about God tricking

1:15:22

you a lot. What what is your god?

1:15:24

Do you think life is over when we

1:15:26

die? Do you do you pray? Tell me

1:15:28

tell me a lot. don't

1:15:30

I don't I never read the Bible.

1:15:32

Yeah. To better snooze, but yeah.

1:15:35

Well, you know, it's man made. Second This

1:15:37

is a is a way to control the

1:15:39

population of people on earth. That's true. But

1:15:41

and then I I believe some of it is real, but

1:15:45

I do think that something is making an all

1:15:47

of us out in the

1:15:48

universe. Do you think you've been here before? I

1:15:50

think all of us is I think we were recycled.

1:15:53

Yeah. I agree. I because you know what? I

1:15:55

was looking on Facebook. And so they

1:15:57

have this thing where they show you that people before

1:15:59

you, you've seen it. And they have all of these

1:16:01

famous black actors. People before you?

1:16:03

Yeah. Like,

1:16:04

like, to show you you've been here before, and then they'll

1:16:06

show you how people in Africa really

1:16:09

look. Jasmine,

1:16:11

what does that mean? No. No. No.

1:16:13

No. They show you, like, they show you

1:16:15

a picture of Dinsdale, Washington.

1:16:17

Damn, a hundred years ago, they show you somebody

1:16:19

that was straight out of a trial. They look just like

1:16:22

--

1:16:23

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Same face. Same face. Same face.

1:16:25

Yeah. So I do think we all are recycled.

1:16:27

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we God's running out of

1:16:29

face ideas. I'll give him that. Yeah.

1:16:32

We just I don't know that fucking face again.

1:16:35

And if you're gonna redo one, Denzel is a

1:16:37

good choice. Yeah. But how did I do that three

1:16:39

hundred years ago, people were

1:16:40

like, man, that's symmetrical phase. Well, III

1:16:42

truly believe we all been here before. I think

1:16:44

we all recycled. Yeah. I

1:16:47

I don't know I I

1:16:49

don't think he's a hell of a heaven. I

1:16:51

think we just got there floating. Come

1:16:53

back. I

1:16:54

mean, and I think we all come back. That's

1:16:56

gotta make you less afraid to die though. You're just

1:16:58

like, would

1:16:59

this be the

1:16:59

only game in town or we're just gonna keep doing it?

1:17:02

I've I've accepted it. I I have a septon.

1:17:04

We are gonna die. But I don't

1:17:06

know if I don't know if hell is real. I don't

1:17:08

know if heaven is real. You know,

1:17:11

when I was loading you at the last airport

1:17:13

on the wall, I just prayed that God

1:17:15

has upgraded that dinner to a cheekful

1:17:17

day in heaven. Because I know I'm coming.

1:17:22

Nobody want them shitty grapes that was on

1:17:24

that plate on the last

1:17:25

apple. Nobody wants

1:17:26

Yeah. Jesus. This is your last summer. Could we get

1:17:29

that? With no fucking preservatives in

1:17:31

it. Nobody wants that. I just hope

1:17:33

he's I hope it's a yellow brick road

1:17:35

of fast food and we can just fucking

1:17:37

mail. There you go. But I truly believe that we

1:17:39

all be here before. I love that. Let me ask

1:17:41

you this. Our final question, can

1:17:45

you tell me this flu by the way? You're such

1:17:47

a talent and such a pleasure to talk

1:17:48

to, and I really hope I get to be on

1:17:50

your show only to hang out with you. You can

1:17:52

cut me out. No. I've been I've been cut

1:17:54

the scenes out. No. No. I would I'm in

1:17:56

streaming. I we gotta get Pete Lee

1:17:59

only show. We gotta get Pete

1:18:01

Lee on his show. Pete Holmes. Not Pete Lee.

1:18:03

Getting that Pete Lee out of

1:18:04

here. don't want I don't know why I'm thinking of Pete

1:18:06

Lee. That's right. Pete Holmes.

1:18:07

Yeah. We gotta

1:18:08

get Pete Holmes on his show. There you were a patriot

1:18:10

was. Yeah.

1:18:11

That's my boy.

1:18:11

Yes. So, Patrick is right

1:18:14

on the show. I know. And he says it's

1:18:16

a true and he's right. He's he's very

1:18:18

proud of it.

1:18:19

You know what? We brought Gretchen I

1:18:21

mean, we brought Gretchen over to BT and he is

1:18:23

just feeling low. Yeah. We hit

1:18:25

BT players just calling I

1:18:28

love me some Patrick.

1:18:30

You should like, if you're ever bored, listen

1:18:32

to him on this podcast. Because he tells these

1:18:34

stories you wouldn't believe. Really?

1:18:36

He told me he did stand up before. And he's

1:18:38

done it couple times. Yeah. He's never told me. He

1:18:40

did I for some reason he's not doesn't have the bug

1:18:42

to, like, do it all the time. But when he does it, I've seen

1:18:44

him do it. It's very good. He's very funny.

1:18:46

Good. Not a

1:18:47

surprise. The question I have for you here at

1:18:49

The

1:18:49

Eight Holmes, not Pete Lee. Yes. He homes

1:18:51

is coming on my show. And not Pete Coriele.

1:18:53

I don't know how to beat Davidson. There

1:18:58

are other Peter. Peter Bay? Not Peter Pan.

1:19:01

Although, I've been known to go out a few windows.

1:19:03

What does that mean? Listen. I

1:19:07

don't know what it meant, but it could mean

1:19:09

so many things and none of them are good. Okay.

1:19:13

Can you tell me the time in your life you laugh the

1:19:15

hardest? It doesn't have to be a great story.

1:19:17

But if you're like, word you're gonna

1:19:19

throw up, you're laughing so hard, tears going

1:19:21

down your face. Maybe you're a kid. Maybe

1:19:24

somebody fell, maybe somebody farted,

1:19:26

maybe somebody slipped, maybe

1:19:29

your brother got shot at.

1:19:34

I'll tell you the story. My

1:19:36

mama had one leg

1:19:38

because she lost a leg that diabetes early.

1:19:41

And so she just get a Social Security check once

1:19:43

a month. We didn't have a car at the time.

1:19:45

So she would catch a k app because there was no Uber

1:19:47

back in these days. To the bank.

1:19:49

How the man said that all day to the bank

1:19:52

to the check deposited in the bank. It was

1:19:54

a social security check. It it last time it didn't come

1:19:56

to after twelve, but she had kissed the cap at eight o'clock.

1:19:58

Just wait here. Just wait here. Just

1:20:00

wait. And I'm like and I'm saying to myself, I'm

1:20:02

young. I'm like, well, let's just go to the bank

1:20:05

at twelve thirty. You know, the check is gonna be there.

1:20:07

Yeah. So who's sitting outside the bank, he

1:20:09

was a African guy. And by

1:20:11

the time we get back home, I y'all, I think the

1:20:13

cab is seventy five dollars. My mom probably

1:20:15

got six hundred dollars in. She

1:20:18

refused to pay that May. She

1:20:20

had the cab idling out front

1:20:22

of the bank. Seventy five dollars worth?

1:20:25

Yes. It it probably was more than

1:20:27

that. I don't remember. This is not

1:20:28

a good deal. Potential decision. Thank

1:20:31

you. We already fucking poor. She

1:20:35

get a checkie, take a bath towel, she

1:20:37

get a weed, and take a bath, and she

1:20:39

don't wanna pay to me. So the man called the

1:20:41

police, So by this time, I don't got

1:20:43

my mom a wheelchair out and, you know, because

1:20:45

she she didn't have a leg on and put

1:20:47

in wheelchair. The police lock lock on a dough.

1:20:50

And he said, ma'am, you you you you jumped

1:20:52

out of a cab and screamed. My mother, like, how the fuck

1:20:54

I jumped out of a fucking cab? I got one motherfucking

1:20:56

late, Paul, he's also So the police the

1:20:59

police said, my mom, get a man. This

1:21:01

is my I ain't get my motherfucking thing.

1:21:03

Y'all, he tilts her wheelchair back and say,

1:21:05

Well, after jail, you go, boom, I'm a smash

1:21:07

that money. I'm fucking laying it through

1:21:09

it, and they can't drop. You

1:21:15

tilt your

1:21:15

back, like,

1:21:17

the easiest way to take a prison to prison ever.

1:21:19

Yeah. He might have rolled it down his ass. You know, you

1:21:21

just can't you gotta tilt the wheelchair back on

1:21:23

boom boom. Bah. Boom. He took that

1:21:25

chair back and bought by the checkered to that

1:21:27

police car. Then she pulled that money

1:21:29

and went from up on their fake socks and leaving

1:21:31

their sock boys so quick. I

1:21:34

hollow. But about five

1:21:36

months later, I call a cab and a carriage

1:21:38

y'all pick me

1:21:39

up. Right? And he's like, where's your craziest

1:21:41

mama? I said, man, she died. Oh

1:21:45

my god. Can

1:21:47

I also say in your mom's defense? This

1:21:50

is the eighties? This

1:21:52

was the nineties. Nineties. Mhmm.

1:21:54

Anytime

1:21:54

before Uber, cabs were the worst.

1:21:57

was so hard to get a cab, so that's why she

1:21:59

probably wanted this guy

1:21:59

No. Not in Atlanta. We lived in Atlanta. It's hard

1:22:02

to get one in New York.

1:22:03

They Oh, I don't even mean for the race reasons. I just

1:22:05

mean calling a cab Nobody They

1:22:07

was, you know, was really big in Atlanta, so

1:22:09

it was not. Everybody wasn't catching the

1:22:11

cab, you know. Right. People was getting asses

1:22:13

on the bus. But she couldn't get on a

1:22:15

bus because she had a wheelchair. Right. Right.

1:22:17

Like, we anytime we call them,

1:22:19

you know, something Nas's hard get fucking

1:22:22

cab, but Right. That time, she

1:22:24

was gonna take her as a jet. I kept trying to

1:22:26

say, mama, why are we here at the bay?

1:22:28

It was, like, two hours. We was

1:22:30

in that car sweating. We have no money

1:22:32

for food. We was hottest food. And

1:22:34

my mom kept having me going to make it as

1:22:36

a the check got out yet. The checkout. Oh

1:22:39

my god. He did a

1:22:41

wheelie. Did your mom do a wheelie?

1:22:43

Get a wheelchair. Well, she's about to take her blankets

1:22:45

during that day, but she gave that cab driving

1:22:48

him money. And he left the middle

1:22:50

run and why he called the

1:22:51

police. Yeah.

1:22:52

That's a smart cab driver. Yeah. And she and

1:22:54

I think she's out like hundred and some bucks.

1:22:56

Now her check was on, like, six hundred and some.

1:22:58

She's like, oh, I guess she motherfuckers ain't gonna

1:23:00

eat. And for the rest of the month, I didn't

1:23:03

give fuck. I thought that was a funny shit watching

1:23:05

her go to jail.

1:23:06

Oh my god. Miss Pat,

1:23:09

Thank you. People can watch miss Pat show

1:23:12

on BT

1:23:12

Plus. The pat down is your podcast.

1:23:15

Thank you for being here. Season three is

1:23:17

out now. It's out now. It's out right now.

1:23:19

And would this is how we

1:23:21

end the show. The guest says keep

1:23:23

it crispy. It's just the catchphrase. Would you

1:23:25

grace us with a keep it crispy? Keep

1:23:28

it crispy but not frac crispy.

1:23:33

Thank you for giving us the full meal,

1:23:35

not crumbles. You gave us the full meal today.

1:23:37

Thank you. It was awesome. You're gonna fucking get

1:23:39

a bunch of I'm gonna help you get out of that thing. That's

1:23:42

magic mine. That was a little coffee drink. That's a little

1:23:44

water Nirvana water. You don't you

1:23:46

can take them with you.

1:23:47

Okay. I'll take them with you.