0:00

The replay need to be

0:02

published. Later

0:07

we managed. To

0:09

choose do you may have. Now

0:12

made it weird when they meet whole.

0:15

What's happening? Weirdos. If you haven't

0:18

watched somebody feed fill on Netflix,

0:20

I don't. I don't know what

0:22

you're waiting for. It's fantastic and

0:24

it's stars are Guess today the

0:27

return. Of. Fill Rosenthal who

0:29

is. A

0:31

living delight, a joy, the

0:34

manifestation of gratitude and silliness

0:36

and talent. And I love

0:38

him. He's incredible. I'm so

0:40

glad he's here. For those

0:42

of you that don't know

0:44

Phil other than somebody feed

0:46

fill, he's also incredible. The

0:48

creator of Everybody Loves Raymond

0:50

with Ray Romano and we

0:52

talk a lot about writing

0:54

as well as eating and

0:56

other wonderful things. I'm so glad

0:58

you're here. Not too much to plug

1:01

for me. Up Top Pete holmes.com for

1:03

my tour dates I'm going to be

1:05

in outside of Philly and also I'm

1:07

coming to Houston, Texas very soon so

1:09

that a Pete holmes.com for those also

1:12

will be adding more dates. So whenever

1:14

you hear this go to Freedoms That

1:16

Com and thank you to everybody who

1:18

came out to Largo this month! It

1:21

was so fun! We had Arts Go

1:23

at Judd Apatow, Emily Catalano it was

1:25

just Madison Cunningham played music Grammy award

1:27

winning. Medicine Cabinet Cunningham as awesome

1:29

show So think it everybody that came

1:31

to that that's once a month as

1:34

well. Go to largo-la.com for tickets to

1:36

Pete Holmes living at Largo. there will

1:38

be another one next month as well.

1:40

So Pete Holmes I com, That's it.

1:42

Let's get into it. Let's enjoy. I'm so

1:44

glad you're here. I already said let's get

1:47

into it, but say it again. let's get

1:49

into it. Feel. Is catching me

1:51

not being a student of comedy and

1:53

where we are. very funny. Talk about

1:55

how people don't like the sound of

1:57

eating so you'd be quicker Body. You

2:05

would be amazing The name

2:07

of this podcast too humid

2:09

itself counts as. Somebody

2:12

said so to see as a good epitaph

2:14

but look at all the nice things in

2:16

there he I would like this and that.

2:18

I'm fine. Thank you behalf. I'm okay. I'll

2:21

Today's your day where you don't need yeah,

2:23

so you haven't a green juice. I'm having

2:25

a yeah, but nobody likes to talk about.

2:27

there's there's certain things. Food is so personal.

2:30

He only mean and yet universe yes.

2:32

But when you get into like restrictions

2:35

or you know what I'm saying like

2:37

some even as simple as I'm not

2:39

eating today people are take that personally.

2:43

I. I I I can see people nuts.

2:45

Let's put it this way. Seinfeld: did you

2:47

do comedians in Cars? Know

2:50

when at some other comedians.

2:53

I think it's because of that full

2:56

page ad campaign that's a Cvs did.

2:59

Remember. I don't. Nine thousand

3:02

cancelled. What? They're not

3:04

cancelled Ended okay and who are

3:06

careful with handle that? It was

3:08

a self care so. Cycling.

3:12

A suicide, a murder of we weren't

3:14

cancelled. Know. They pulled the

3:16

trigger. Us to. For.

3:18

You Guys self cancelled. We did,

3:21

Yes, but when Seinfeld self cancelled

3:23

Young Ray. Was. In the

3:25

New York Times I believe. full page

3:27

ad and it said hey, looking for

3:30

something A Seinfeld Vans essentially. Are

3:32

you looking for something to do? Why

3:35

that come over to Cbs? I do

3:37

not remember that. But.

3:39

I have to say hearing is now. It's.

3:42

Only a compliment. I.

3:44

Agree that was just have fun theory

3:46

by the way. I have

3:48

no insight into intel. I'm basing

3:50

this on zero. And. It

3:52

is a compliment. but maybe maybe

3:54

you know that add the

3:56

unconscious quality of that at

3:58

his were friends rivals.

4:01

So maybe Seinfeld's like, not having the other guy

4:03

with the hair that did the thing in the

4:05

kitchen while I was doing my thing in the

4:08

kitchen. And Ray's like, it was a different thing.

4:10

And he's like, it was the same thing. When

4:12

were Joe's, you were Italian. Joe's

4:15

was better food. Don't do that. Try to

4:17

do that. Ray actually

4:19

wanted the show originally to be

4:21

more like Seinfeld, meaning he

4:24

actually asked me if there had to be a

4:26

story every week. Couldn't he just sit in the

4:28

diner and talk about stuff? I said, first

4:30

of all, there is that show. And second,

4:32

I'm the complete wrong guy to write that show.

4:35

That's so funny. Yeah. I

4:38

need a story. I grew up on story

4:40

shows. What if it's about

4:43

Zilch? Like, if he does,

4:45

saves it. It's a show about Nada.

4:48

No, Ray, they did that. So maybe

4:50

there's a friendly, uh, front petition. What was

4:52

I going to say? I would have loved

4:54

to see what you ate on that show.

4:56

Which one? No.

4:59

There was a reason I brought it up, but it wasn't that. So

5:01

I went to, I was very

5:03

good friends with George

5:05

Shapiro. Did you know George? You're

5:07

a George Shapiro type. Oh. Compliment.

5:10

He was the sweetest Superman show for

5:12

people who don't know he was Jerry's

5:15

manager. And an

5:17

executive producer on the TV series. He was

5:19

also, before that, and I think this is

5:21

how Jerry learned of him, he was Andy

5:24

Kaufman's manager. Oh yeah. Played

5:26

by Daniel DeVito. Exactly. He

5:28

had a man on the moon. Exactly. Yeah. And

5:30

I think George has a little part in the, in the movie as

5:32

well. A little cameo. Yeah. Uh,

5:35

George said to me

5:37

one day that Jerry sometimes has his

5:39

friends come and watch him in Vegas

5:43

and go to dinner. And then the

5:45

next day they get you a

5:47

hotel room. And the next day he rents out a

5:49

movie theater in

5:51

Las Vegas and we see a movie. I'm like,

5:53

this sounds like heaven. Yeah. Of

5:55

course I want to go. Yeah. So

5:57

we go. And Jerry likes, uh.

6:01

This. Restaurant: The Palm. I

6:03

think it's and Caesar's Palace any type

6:05

of. My first thought was oh let

6:07

me pick the restaurant owner Jerry. Like

6:09

the park. And he has a room in

6:11

the back. And four years us

6:13

how to be around Raymond Times.

6:16

Fifteen. Years ago I think. Okay, it was

6:18

after rain. Say are? A. Or

6:20

yes, this was twenty. I know,

6:22

allow a are so so. We.

6:26

Go! I think George while says there

6:28

are thicker. another comedian the guy open

6:30

for him as their marry a joiner

6:32

I I believe Mario. Maybe

6:35

one other guy and and Georgia and me. And

6:38

the menus com and I say yeah anybody

6:40

want split. Sutton. The start and your

6:42

goes with me. And I

6:44

go when of share that like an appetizer he

6:46

goes would you mean share. And

6:50

I'm like, wait a minute. You've.

6:52

Never disease, never shared. done

6:54

this. And he doesn't

6:56

And he goes for what what would it

6:59

be? And I'm like, well, I.

7:02

Was the first time I've ever told anyone this. There's.

7:05

A. There's a shrimp cocktail

7:07

or the menu. We could each have a shrimp.

7:09

This look want to do for five six did

7:12

look this six troops com been the big. Oh.

7:14

I would have a shrimp. Okay. Oh

7:17

and we get his hair and

7:19

it comes and he actually goes.

7:21

I like this like I'd like

7:24

this idea of sharing things. I'm

7:26

like what world of my in.

7:30

Yes, I wish you could see your face.

7:32

Yes! Yes or that

7:34

was my face. I couldn't believe it.

7:36

This is like the Seth Rogan story

7:38

where Tom Cruise didn't know there was

7:40

pornography on the internet. That's a real

7:42

sorry of replace them on quizzes like

7:44

what? well maybe old that that I

7:46

have to tell you. I showed Tom

7:48

Cruise the Port of. Ah,

7:54

Oh well as different appetites I

7:56

go to. The

7:59

Book. The to remember is

8:01

sharing sharing both come out

8:04

example situations about says with

8:06

so Jerry had never that

8:08

seems so weird comedians after

8:10

shows going as our was.

8:12

In the. Comedy. Cellar Yeah

8:15

everybody gets the way the wings un

8:17

awareness on of the key does that.

8:20

You know this is kind of a synchronicity

8:22

guess. I went to dinner last night. yeah

8:24

yeah we're very seed sell meaning I hope

8:26

easy the compliment as very food communal. Every

8:28

Sunday we have our friends over but last

8:31

night we didn't want to have friends over

8:33

ah or Val didn't want to. I doesn't

8:35

matter and then we went to a pizza

8:37

place. Side of the big

8:39

table? Yeah and we had a long conversation

8:41

about sharing. just haven't you ever had a

8:44

pizza would be both. A

8:47

birthday party when you're eight? Take. Who's.

8:49

Getting around. Seaside

8:52

in Nineteen Eighty Four, This cake is

8:54

just for me. This cake is just

8:56

for me. You have shared sir. You

8:59

didn't know you are doing it exactly.

9:02

What? About there's gotta be some. I've had

9:04

a status over there pass over then. There's.

9:07

A Pass over they you. There's gotta be

9:09

something that that is shared as part of

9:11

pass over. Here.

9:13

It is. Fantastic!

9:17

He loves at the

9:19

flimsy plastic, the tiny

9:21

math. For. Those only listen to

9:23

the audio Phil is going into the. Just.

9:26

The least eco friendly set up on

9:28

that kind of of rivalry with napkins

9:30

around the world would he me And

9:32

bonus are is I had a pizza

9:34

that was my best pizza I were

9:36

has been a pizza and valley. Where.

9:39

You pick it up and the cheese poor's

9:41

off it in reverse. Like you can't believe

9:43

how much teases on this thing. It's way

9:46

late and messy. Whereas it's like illusionist nude,

9:48

like a silken row know, there's still plenty

9:50

of the when it says it's like I

9:52

surplus subsidies. They will never be a shortage

9:54

of cheese on this pizza. But.

9:58

after reading it You need a

10:00

napkin. What they give you in

10:03

this place is, remember

10:05

the black and white notebooks

10:07

for school? It's as

10:09

if someone tore out the tiniest piece

10:11

of that paper and that's your napkin.

10:15

And I'm like, I have to tell you, I'm

10:17

an American and we're used to super

10:19

absorbency. This is

10:21

not... We want quicker thicker. This is

10:23

something that smears the stuff

10:25

around your face and does nothing. Bill

10:27

Cosby scandal noted, he used to have

10:30

a bit about trying to get through

10:32

the day in middle school just blowing

10:34

your nose on paper towels. It's

10:37

a very funny observation, bad person.

10:39

But I remember that feeling and I'm feeling

10:42

that right now. There's also countries

10:44

where the toilet paper is that situation. You

10:47

get like a composition notebook toilet paper. Well,

10:49

that's just cruel. It is just cruel. That's

10:52

like a torture. You

10:54

have to have a nice... I mean, come on.

10:57

You know what the best is? Have you ever had a Toto

11:00

toilet experience? Every

11:02

morning. Japanese. They

11:04

know how to poop. They know...

11:07

Is it cultural appropriation that I'm getting my

11:09

ass blasted with warm water every morning? They

11:11

know how to poop. Full respect, Japan. They

11:14

know. Full respect. They do

11:16

things better. They do everything better. Yes, they

11:19

do. I love it. You ever walk in

11:21

and it's clean and perfect and you're like, it's very Japanese.

11:23

Why did the Germans get all the efficiency stereotypes? It's

11:26

really the Japanese that are nailing it. Well, they were

11:28

allies. I

11:31

knew there was a World War II riff here. You

11:34

know, maybe there's some compassion there. It wasn't

11:36

the Japanese side. But you know what? I

11:38

forgive them Pearl Harbor because that Toto toilet...

11:47

It's like having a nurse. It

11:50

is like having a nurse with one of those things

11:52

you blow air into your fireplace. But

11:56

it's warm water. And

11:58

it's not too much to penetrate. It's not

12:00

a violation. And yet there are people who are

12:02

grossed out by the idea of it. Who

12:05

are these people? And I've tried to explain... Well, who

12:07

are these people? I don't think I'm telling a tale

12:09

out of school. Seinfeld. Ray

12:11

Romano. I told him, and

12:13

this is in the writer's room, this

12:16

is one of the

12:18

top three discussions

12:20

in terms of consuming

12:24

time when you're supposed to be working.

12:26

This was the topic. Something

12:28

to do with your ass. Ass

12:31

play. Is... I

12:33

would say number one or two of

12:37

topics we're going to be doing

12:39

and discussing instead of

12:41

working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Food

12:43

might be... Yeah. But it's all related, isn't

12:46

it? Anyway. I mean, yes, it's

12:48

the other side of the same door. So

12:50

I'm explaining the wonderful... Your mouth

12:52

is your outside anus. Thank you.

12:57

Your mouth is your inverted outdoor

13:00

anus. Thank you. Now

13:02

I have to think about this. As

13:08

I'm explaining the virtues and

13:10

wonders of the total toilet experience. For people

13:12

who don't know what this is, it

13:15

is a magic wand that appears when you

13:17

push a button and then

13:19

squirts somehow knows what's going on. And

13:22

cleans. Perfectly. Yes,

13:24

you can adjust a little bit. And then

13:26

it dries you too. Never use the

13:28

dry. You use the dry? Well,

13:31

it takes a little more time. It's like a hand dryer.

13:34

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a hand dryer. But for

13:36

your... But for your downstairs

13:38

lips. By the way, so I'm extolling

13:41

the virtues of this thing. And

13:43

it's so great that like when my

13:45

wife's parents got older, we bought

13:48

a total toilet for them. Oh.

13:50

And her mom thought, Monica's mom thought

13:53

this was fantastic and she invited all the

13:55

church ladies over for

13:57

tea and to try the toilet. And

13:59

they each... Return and the oldest church lady

14:01

came out of the bathroom at one point

14:03

she'd been in there for a while and

14:06

she this what she said. I. Swear

14:08

To God. Are you

14:10

okay though Everyone s she said I

14:12

think I have to go to confession.

14:15

Oh. My. God. That. Todo.

14:18

How great is that? The secret side of

14:20

todo because it does the front tooth, your

14:22

everything and it's popular has a secret sexual

14:24

implicated in a crate. I felt as a

14:26

great bit about that actually work he goes

14:29

found phone sex at an airport off your

14:31

face. A Xerox copy? A player.

14:33

I thought I. Was

14:35

like if it's a hat, there's something

14:38

sexual going on. Oh that's brilliant fears

14:40

but re refused to even entertain the

14:42

idea of the save and bought him.

14:44

The. Toilet. And. He wouldn't use, he

14:46

just didn't like the idea of anything going

14:48

to miss. I'm I'm like wait a minute.

14:52

If there was something on the walls, And.

14:54

You wanted to get it off the wall would

14:56

you to do to just wipe it. Yeah.

14:59

Wouldn't that make it worse? Hicks: In

15:01

a way where would you mirrored scored?

15:03

Would a hose? Oh My. God. so

15:05

I just downloaded and me. I'm

15:08

a little. it feels very old school

15:11

Italians Me: shots fired Guys love you.

15:13

Love the culture my brother doesn't wanna

15:15

do either. he thought italian. I

15:20

didn't hurt anyone who wants it. I'll bite. Okay,

15:22

that a side is so wonderful I've got

15:24

my dad wouldn't be into it either. I.

15:27

Feel like I want to have this is gonna sound

15:29

very blue. I. Wanna as then

15:31

diagram of of men who don't want water

15:33

blown up their ass and men who won't

15:35

do oral on their wives. I

15:37

want to see where the yeah yeah, he's looking

15:39

for the exit. He's wondering what

15:42

am I doing here is my third time

15:44

on the show or men who are afraid

15:46

they might have like it's too much very.

15:49

That's. It. That's the whole then. Maybe.

15:51

That was there said. You know to me when

15:53

I say there's a whole swath of sort of

15:56

homophobic yes and a get caught by old school

15:58

and right as include the the three. Area

16:00

that we've just. Mentioned. This

16:02

is the best podcast in the world. But

16:08

not a lot a podcast are going to

16:10

tell. I'm going to go to Romano doesn't

16:12

want to sit on a toshi to says

16:14

Ray Romano go downwards mushy Oh my God.

16:20

Let me just say this is

16:22

Rae I'm sorry. Ah do not

16:24

think this was gonna go this

16:26

summer. A A A. I

16:29

yeah, that's me. A that's a magic mike. There's this,

16:31

hasn't we have it on our podcast? Do with those.

16:33

As far. As do

16:36

more stress less This is called magic My do

16:38

you read Go ahead well it I don't even

16:40

know learned. I do love it and my own

16:42

by agents. Fisher is the founder of their company.

16:44

Oh they worked really hard on it and I'm

16:46

proud of him. There. Goes

16:48

Can I ask you a real A

16:51

Real fill a real feel? Questions to

16:53

succeed? You wanna join? See something here

16:55

Good and I'm smart enough. Have you

16:57

seen the new chair? Gp? Know.

17:00

Have you played with it was this. To.

17:02

Pay for this Sri. I'm

17:05

I'm interviewing Still Rosenthal, the host of

17:07

Somebody Seed. So what's the question that

17:09

would be interesting and fun to ask

17:11

him? does he like water? A possessed?

17:13

That's that. It's amazing how fast they

17:15

say my listening to of. Ignore

17:18

that last part. Sign.

17:26

These. Things a great in theory, interesting and fun

17:28

question for still Rosenthal could be. Of

17:31

all the places you've visited, On Somebody

17:33

Feed Film Which one surprised you

17:35

the most in terms of its

17:38

food and culture and why This

17:40

story and insights all. I

17:43

need something more salacious, something crazy

17:45

that would go viral that most

17:47

people haven't asked for. Resin boss

17:50

something's funny and wilde an unexpected

17:52

that I could ask him. How

18:00

do you. Feel. If

18:02

you had to survive on one bazaar or

18:04

unexpected this you've tried for the rest of

18:07

your life, which one would it be and

18:09

how would you make gourmet. This

18:11

can lead to some hilarious and

18:13

unexpected answers, especially given the range

18:15

of unusual foods he's encountered. I

18:18

promise you, it will not be

18:20

hilarious. Ah visitors, this cities are

18:22

going to be honest, I wasn't

18:24

a bit of a letdown. Yes,

18:27

Because these things Sucked. As

18:31

a a miracle internet voice talk To

18:33

Us stinks on I'm proudest Completely unimpressive

18:36

sense when you when you read an

18:38

article my bread articles now that around

18:40

literally generated by this yeah. They.

18:42

Since they say eggs. And

18:44

they didn't. Meant by the way, they didn't make. It up

18:46

there aggregating from yeah they're ag world of

18:48

people and not paying any of the people

18:51

right? right? right? Dislike: I do when I

18:53

read articles and than and yes Elsa said

18:55

meaning of all whole world is is we

18:57

don't need a computer for that I am.

18:59

I know it's gonna be better. Yeah I

19:01

know it's gonna be great and notebook Both

19:03

of those are fair questions. Yeah but I

19:06

can't say they are exceptional. Yeah anyone in

19:08

the audience can ask for quest they're not

19:10

exceptional but when I did that you and

19:12

a with you I realize that you are

19:14

one of those guys. Because. You're

19:16

You're so. You're on your

19:19

sleeve, not as your heart, everything your

19:21

stomach, your your brain is all out

19:23

that I'm my book Now your body

19:25

to see their us are todo Yeah

19:27

a you. That. You

19:29

are say plagued. With.

19:31

Your a guy that if you do an interview

19:33

which is why I'm not asking where your favorite

19:36

food is or what food you would survive us,

19:38

We're gonna get those questions. What we center when

19:40

answering an egg there is no as there are

19:42

no one answered. by the way yeah I have

19:44

the big one thing I could pick one thing

19:46

per show. Yeah. Per. Per city

19:48

per location this is gonna sound silly

19:51

yeah but I was joking with vow.

19:53

About. i don't know what we were riffing

19:55

on but how i was going interviewed as a and

19:57

the question i said and she that was us and

19:59

it was so what are your lighthouse

20:02

values? Like what are your core values?

20:04

And she laughed, but I wasn't joking.

20:07

Because when you, when I hang out

20:09

with you, you seem like

20:11

a guy with five or six good lighthouse values.

20:13

I don't know what that express, never heard that

20:15

expression lighthouse. We're just making it up. It just

20:18

means like we can see them, they're clear, it

20:20

doesn't matter how stormy it gets. Your beacon values.

20:22

Because when you answer that question, just to help

20:24

you out, it's not a on the spot question.

20:27

When you're like, one

20:29

of them seems to be, leading,

20:32

free to move. You're free. Someone

20:35

asked you the same question. Who's

20:37

to say I can't zig or zag or

20:40

say it. Or say, and I preface the

20:42

answer by saying, here's the first thing that

20:44

popped into my head. But

20:46

sort of a naked, naked meaning

20:49

alive, vulnerable, wild. You

20:53

seem to be a guy who's, if

20:55

reality is a fire hose, you

20:57

seem to be kind of like playfully drinking from

21:00

it. Not necessarily making a

21:02

labyrinth to guide the water and

21:04

like a Japanese hotel or a

21:06

toilet. But like you seem to

21:08

be in flow. Is that a

21:10

value of yours? Is like staying

21:12

vulnerable and present and,

21:15

you know what I mean by vulnerable? I do. Yeah.

21:17

Tell me, I've always been vulnerable. Look at me.

21:20

Yeah. But as far

21:23

as core value goes, number one, total

21:25

toilet. Of course. Not for me.

21:28

Get it out of there. Keep it out

21:30

of my canole, holy, holy. What are you doing back

21:32

there? What are you doing? What

21:35

if I like it? That

21:37

would be his angle. I don't

21:39

want to do it, because what if I don't like it? What if

21:41

I do like it? But what if I do like it? That's

21:44

a very rare bit. Let's

21:49

see, core values, present, family,

21:52

friends, food, travel, laughs. Family,

21:55

friends, food, travel, laughs. And

21:58

I Came up with that fast just now, That's what

22:00

I think my show is about. I'm

22:02

taking everything I love about making a

22:05

show and it's in the service of

22:07

these things I love in likes. yeah.

22:10

And then, everything. That.

22:13

Goes with that meaning how

22:15

to attract more of that

22:17

food? Family, friends, travel, travel.

22:19

laughs. Yeah, is how you

22:21

act. In that world to make

22:24

it the most enjoyable. And

22:26

that is love.

22:28

kindness, inclusivity, Connection,

22:30

Generosity, Generosity. yeah those are I

22:32

guess what? The real values are

22:35

the others that I just mentioned

22:37

before the thing site. the results

22:39

that are things I love. Yeah

22:41

ah. But the.

22:43

Show really isn't about food.

22:46

Yeah. Added that out, I'm just

22:48

using such a nice food and my stupid

22:51

sense of humor to get you the real

22:53

message via which is I think if he

22:55

travels I just think the world would be

22:58

better if we all could experience a little

23:00

bit of other people's expense for have even

23:02

experiences tic. Completely agree with you. I

23:05

tell you he says here and when vows

23:07

feeling a little tighter, little scared or young,

23:09

weird moves. she's pregnant, mit whatever was that

23:12

was making either her or both of us

23:14

feel vulnerable and I'm just going for a

23:16

walk. In. Your own neighborhood? yes

23:18

would make you feel. I'm going

23:20

to say it forty five percent better. Like up

23:22

that a lot better. You're you're

23:24

preaching the choir. I do this every

23:26

single day. Tell me if I walk

23:29

from my house either with the dog

23:31

or by myself to the coffee shop

23:33

with says about one point three miles

23:35

away. Well, Larchmont. And.

23:38

I. Congregate with people that

23:40

I have befriended in all

23:43

my years of doing Sesame

23:45

Street? Yes, Mister Hooper? Yes

23:47

Yes! Because you figured out.

23:50

That's the secret of Less rights. Yes,

23:53

When. You get inside any just have

23:55

this portal called the internet and attic your

23:57

head in that the Us and it's just

23:59

for. Biting Usa. And

24:03

then you look around the dark walls of your

24:05

of your apartment. Maybe there are even literally dogs.

24:07

but now you've put a a veil over your

24:09

eyes. Yes, everything's wrong. Yes, we'll see the world

24:11

as it is. We see how we are, right?

24:14

I classics. yeah. So now you're You're scared. Walking.

24:17

To a coffee shop? Yes. And

24:20

just hanging out. And

24:22

maybe. And. I bet you

24:24

will. Old homes a he's gonna bet. You.

24:27

Might get us. He smiles. And make

24:29

a connection you might even just get i had

24:31

not yet. You might even get something as simple

24:33

as someone. Pulling. Their dog

24:35

in towards them to gonna give

24:37

you the right away little things

24:39

These little considerations and he realized.

24:42

Oh. It's not me. It's us. There's there's

24:44

and us going on here. And. It's

24:46

not as you know, as

24:48

we liberals. When

24:50

Trump won it was such a dark day

24:52

of you know people were were worried and

24:54

I remember I was worried and I got

24:56

up and I went to that coffee shop

24:59

that we just walked by and just. That.

25:02

Was A. There was a key moment in my life.

25:04

I was like and here we are. Having

25:06

coffee. What? I'm saying the world Goes

25:08

on. The world was going on. but.

25:11

No. One's happy Yeah that was fine. Young

25:13

are trying to valley live in early of

25:15

Lille. it was there was a communal feeling

25:17

but I think to your point to your

25:20

one point three mile. That.

25:22

That feeling of interconnectedness. So you're traveling,

25:24

you're going to countries at militates a

25:26

Muslim country. A country I like at

25:28

the height of certain paranoid times in

25:30

our lives. Yes, we would relax. That's

25:32

right. That's how I felt. By the

25:34

way, a couple days after Trump when

25:36

I went to. I think it was.

25:38

I'm. Indiana. So our

25:41

and I was like they're everywhere like but

25:43

that trip help me too. I was like

25:45

it's all okay. It's not to say that

25:47

muslims or or or trump or his or

25:49

anything but I'm just saying like it slows

25:51

things down and it opens things up and

25:53

and it can calm me down. that

25:55

was a lot it's beautiful and i love doing it

25:57

in every puede that i go yeah there's no better

26:00

than walking in the new place and discovering

26:02

stuff and stopping for a cup of coffee

26:04

and maybe talking to someone randomly.

26:08

And you realize, you know, such a

26:10

cliche, but everyone's the same. We

26:12

all want to be happy and healthy. We all want

26:14

our kids to be happy and healthy. We want them

26:16

to grow up and get whatever they want. And

26:19

we want... Most of the world is nice.

26:22

I tell everyone, I'm not showing

26:24

you in the show the

26:26

way I want the world to be.

26:28

We're just filming what's there. Yeah. That the

26:30

world is there. We watch the news

26:32

and the news is mostly terrible. Yeah. But

26:34

that doesn't mean the world is mostly

26:37

terrible. I couldn't. We always agree.

26:39

Yeah. But I think there's a real parallel

26:41

to be said about your mind. In

26:44

the morning, when I take the time, I do

26:46

a gratitude practice in the morning and I find

26:48

five, six moments. This morning I did... It

26:50

was guided, but I found like five

26:53

synchronicities. Like all these things

26:56

that like were incredible, like meeting my wife or this

26:58

or that or whatever it might be, or walking into

27:00

an office at just the right moment, or meeting a

27:02

person. One of them that came up was I was

27:04

like, I won't go through it.

27:06

The point was I was going for a

27:08

walk in my

27:12

mind to the coffee

27:14

shop in my mind. I was remembering my

27:16

daughter's first steps. I was remembering the time

27:18

I saw a whale in Laguna Beach. I

27:20

was remembering all these

27:22

things. So in the same way that

27:24

going traveling, going inside and going into

27:26

the good neighborhoods of your mind reminds

27:28

you that it's not just anxiety. It's

27:30

not just terror. It's not just hopelessness.

27:33

Those things are there and those things

27:35

are in the world as well. Yeah.

27:37

But there's also the

27:39

best whatever you ate in wherever you ate. I read

27:41

a great thing. I don't know who said this. You

27:43

probably know. If you're

27:45

worried about something that's coming, let's

27:48

say you're...let's say you might have

27:50

to have an operation. You're worried

27:52

about it. You

27:55

must then also think about the

27:58

absolute positive

28:00

outcome of this thing. Mmm. Fair.

28:04

It's fair practice. Exactly right. You

28:06

have to give them equal airtime. Exactly right. Yeah.

28:09

Isn't that great? That's good. That's

28:11

very good. Because we tend

28:13

to only focus on the negative. Well you know

28:15

Velcro Teflon, my homeboy Richard Roy taught me this,

28:17

but it's a psychological principle. If I

28:19

say fill you, and I mean this, you're a beautiful man, I

28:21

love you, sometimes I think about you and it just makes me

28:23

happy. That's true. For you to

28:26

really hold on to that, that's Teflon.

28:28

You have to hold on to it consciously for

28:30

30 seconds they say. You have to think like,

28:32

wow, this is weird, but you'd be like

28:34

Pete, someone I like thinks about me to

28:37

make me happy. But you just meditate on it 30

28:39

seconds. I'm not going to say the negative thing, but

28:41

if I said a negative thing. Oh let's hear it

28:43

Pete. Fill you Pete.

28:45

But I was going to make up one. I

28:47

don't even want to make up one because

28:49

the negatives Velcro. That's why

28:51

Larry David goes to Yankee Stadium. It's his

28:54

birthday. They all stand up however many thousands

28:56

of people at Yankee Stadium that is sing

28:58

happy birthday. Later he's in the

29:00

parking lot, someone yells, you suck, can't

29:02

shake you suck. That's what he remembers. Let's go

29:04

of happy birthday. You could get all great reviews

29:06

on something. One guy said something, you'd figure, well

29:08

that's the truth. The negative.

29:11

It's like cutting. It's like emotional cutting.

29:14

Do you want to know one of the techniques that I think you might

29:16

enjoy? It actually happened again at

29:19

this house. I

29:21

smoked a cigar. Who was I being? Who

29:23

was I being? But I smoked a cigar on

29:26

my porch, this porch. I

29:28

put it out and then I went for a

29:30

walk. I walked to get something. As

29:32

I was walking, you guys have heard this before, forgive

29:34

me. I was like what if I didn't put the

29:36

cigar out all the way? And

29:38

your house is on fire. And the house is on fire. What

29:41

I will do, but now I'm a couple blocks away. It's going

29:43

to take me a while to get home anyway. I don't want

29:45

to run. It's like being at the airport. I

29:47

don't really run at airports. But I'm

29:49

like what if the house is on fire?

29:52

One of the techniques I use to minimize

29:54

my anxiety is I go, Pete, if the

29:56

house isn't on fire, I'm going

29:58

to cut your leg off. Flip it,

30:00

make it so you want the thing.

30:03

That. You don't one and then you'll see

30:05

how unlikely it as revise say if you

30:07

go off the top and an ember from

30:10

as the guy didn't slick up find them

30:12

gasoline on your roof and burn your has

30:14

the grunts I'm going to cut your leg

30:16

off or something else that you don't want.

30:19

you will realize how silly how stupid you

30:21

would be. So nervous you like gonna lose

30:23

my legs just because there's no way the

30:25

houses bring that's where you see it is

30:28

that slipped out of respective help young go

30:30

like a when being done right now I'm

30:32

or I'm torturing. Myself for entertainment.

30:34

Will people worry about traveling?

30:37

They. Think they will like it? Yeah. They

30:39

don't stop to think maybe you'll love

30:42

it, right? Then change your life.

30:44

They're not giving anti glare to exactly

30:46

right? Yeah, we've talked last time we

30:49

hung out about the phenomenon of like.

30:52

Your. Brain gets used to things so

30:54

when you travel. Going. To

30:57

get coffee is a Hobbits journey.

30:59

Because. You don't know where casias you has a

31:01

beer? know what coffee as you don't know if

31:03

it's it'll be different from your coffee at home.

31:05

You don't know if you're like it's you don't

31:07

know, you don't know anything. Yeah. But.

31:09

The best fill the Nfl goes. What?

31:12

If we don't like how. How exciting!

31:15

Of course I know I don't like Turkish coffee. I'm just

31:17

picking a cop. You don't have to like everything. I

31:20

did. A journey is it's own

31:22

reward. Literally To the journey is

31:24

it's own reward tasting stuff? Yeah,

31:26

it's fun. Yeah. That. Because

31:28

you might say something that changes your

31:30

life. right? Right. Oh My.

31:33

God. That's. Turkish coffee is

31:35

now my favorite coffee. Yeah, I guess

31:37

what when. You come home. This place is

31:39

an have it. Yeah, I never knew to

31:41

ask for it. Yeah, now it's my favorite thing.

31:45

That's that's what's out there. People listen

31:47

to me. A.

31:49

Kilo that set records

31:51

last. Ah, classic, you.

31:54

Were. The. Moderator for

31:56

the L A. Show that we

31:58

did last week. You. So

32:00

great, I will so grateful to have you because

32:03

it was so much fun just to be with

32:05

you, I wish we could do it so every

32:07

week me. I. Wish you were

32:09

my neighbor. I wrote that the right after.

32:11

I wish you lived next door because I

32:14

would love nothing more than to hang out

32:16

with you. I know I really priests so

32:18

what are you doing up there and oh

32:20

hi what do you? Well I'll tell you

32:23

go my were overseas meltzer going seed so

32:25

as it's a beautiful beautiful place mills just

32:27

lovely. I love going up there I know

32:29

and it's not for everybody because you're you're

32:32

you're You're like an animal. that name's not

32:34

needs. Why want and I want

32:36

for you? I want the city, the city I

32:38

need to said the little noodles. I love going

32:40

to visit. Oh hi yea but I don't I

32:42

don't think I was just saying about this with

32:45

somebody who visited us up there I was like

32:47

I need to be there has when I was

32:49

here I didn't. I need works and work in

32:51

L A Yeah so it's guaranteed that I'll come

32:53

and tell a joke and here I'm here all

32:56

day. You know I mean saw

32:58

get plenty of L A. Got it when

33:00

I was here. I don't need a nature

33:02

Oreo. I will prioritize have enough so I

33:05

need to have that be my my standard

33:07

and I get it's listen I was a

33:09

New Yorker half my life. New York New

33:11

York's mob Woody Allen. you know if know

33:13

it's me Yeah why would I go to

33:16

L A was the only cultural advanced as

33:18

jazz make sense of right turn on a

33:20

red light passes yeah and any hope of

33:22

have a fleet of messed yeah that was

33:25

the Source Family restaurant. Oh my

33:27

god I remember that just out of and

33:29

fun to go to. I'm sure you'll get

33:31

food poisoning though. I think I went to

33:33

when I first played it was still open

33:35

and okay. Moved here and eighty nine. So

33:37

in Annie Hall I'm and getting and I

33:39

am assuming any. I'm assuming Katie see Max,

33:41

forget, forget what I'm saying, we just move

33:43

on. Know in any all Woody Allen goes

33:45

to like a quintessential hippie restaurant and that

33:47

was the Source Family Restaurant He already had

33:49

played amassed his yes but it was a

33:52

popular restaurant but it was. It was a

33:54

cult right? And there's a great called documentary

33:56

called the Source Family. Ah, any, watch it

33:58

and it's very very interesting. Off. I

34:00

don't want to spoil it, but there's a lot of it's

34:02

a good one. I'm a cult documentary snob I

34:05

love it, but you but you you still

34:07

you're that city boy is in you in

34:09

your heart It is but

34:12

now that I've lived here Longer

34:14

than I lived in New York. Yeah, I

34:18

It never occurred to me to move back to

34:20

me. I visited all the time. Yeah.

34:22

Yeah. I love New York It's

34:24

probably the greatest city on the planet. Yeah,

34:26

but I don't need it daily Yeah,

34:29

that's how you feel about it. Like I'm

34:31

with you. Yeah, you I need to yeah,

34:33

I need to Live

34:35

where I wouldn't be if I

34:38

didn't that I want to live where

34:40

I need to live But wouldn't be if it

34:42

wasn't where I lived. I gotta go. I Don't

34:46

understand this living in a beautiful place isn't enough

34:48

a prior of a priority for me that when

34:50

we lived here We wouldn't go to Ohio all

34:52

the time. You know, I mean we wouldn't go

34:54

to a beautiful we wouldn't go by the river

34:56

And just look at deer like it just wasn't

34:58

enough of a priority to lower my blood pressure

35:00

and relax and all that stuff So I have

35:02

to live there because I'll never stop doing sets

35:04

or coming in for the podcast and all that

35:06

sort of we get It we understand this point

35:09

But you've made your vacation your vocation

35:11

as I have. Yeah, that's more twins

35:13

than that. I love that Yeah, that's

35:15

salty dog. Yeah, here's a here's one.

35:17

I don't think you've been here's one

35:19

chat. GPT wouldn't get I felt

35:22

such job Security when she whiffed that

35:24

one. Yes that miracle. I

35:26

want to know and then I just asked the dumbest question.

35:28

I Want

35:31

to know Phil your journey and

35:34

this is more complicated than it's gonna sound but

35:36

your company your journey to knowing What

35:39

you want because you know what

35:41

you want laughs food family travel friends. See

35:43

if AI came up with that Yeah, wow.

35:45

Wow, that's a good one. That's a good

35:47

question I think one of the most tricky

35:49

things in life more preface AI would be

35:51

more brief. I Think

35:54

it's under appreciated people

35:56

who have figured out uncovered

35:58

unearthed What really

36:01

makes them tick? Yes, and I'm 45.

36:03

I'm still sometimes can be young me.

36:05

I preach I can still feel lost

36:07

in going like What

36:09

drives me what excites me? But you really seem to

36:11

have dialed it in so much so you made a

36:13

TV show about it Tell me about the journey were

36:15

there any missteps whatever that brings to my always missteps

36:17

and always I Think

36:22

I think unless you're truly exceptional and know

36:24

what you want from the minute you're born

36:28

Although I did think I wanted to be

36:30

part of show business I did know I wanted

36:32

to be funny that I am from a young

36:35

young Immediately because my dad was fun

36:38

Nobody was I told you who told you it

36:40

was but he did amateur night That's how my

36:42

my mother met my my mother was

36:44

on a date with a fella Yes,

36:46

and went to a comedy club in New

36:49

Jersey or or not even a club Maybe

36:51

it was like a restaurant that had amateur

36:53

night Yeah Musicians would get up and

36:55

then this young man

36:57

who worked in the Garman Center with his

36:59

father as a tailor Got

37:01

up and told old jokes and

37:03

my mother thought he was hilarious. Mmm. I

37:06

always say if he's not funny that night I'm not

37:08

here Wow talk about serendipity right?

37:10

He was a kind of and twice. I'm crinist.

37:13

That's right. Yeah, that's great That is no, that's

37:15

a good one. If your mother

37:17

also she doesn't laugh at his jokes. I'm

37:19

not here Not to

37:21

be too personal about your mom, but she was in

37:24

a mood she was open don't you all are a

37:26

whore He was on my mother's Handing

37:30

it but the rules of comedy I had to say

37:32

it as well. I forgive me.

37:35

No, your mom was Receptive

37:37

I had the same feeling Val when I

37:39

met her I was receptive. She

37:41

was herself, you know I could have been

37:43

in a bad mood. No Phil. Absolutely. She

37:45

was in a good mood. Oh, absolutely She

37:48

was in an open mood. She wanted to hear some

37:50

jokes. Yes. My when I met Monica I

37:52

found her at the most desperate point of her life.

37:54

That's the only way it would have worked Do

38:00

you like I did? call it a

38:03

night or whatever they like abdomen reason,

38:05

Geico and. What

38:07

Was he doing? She. Were

38:09

to telecharge. What's. That, oh, that's

38:12

like a telemarketing, you know, you call

38:14

the for Broadway theatre tickets go and

38:16

what she really idea never run. Know

38:19

she just was outta trouble seeing anybody

38:21

at that moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. and

38:23

and. We. Gotta be lucky Site yeah,

38:25

that's why they call it. didn't look. At. The.

38:27

Show is brought to us by our

38:30

friends at Armor. You guys know I

38:32

am obsessed with my immunity system. My

38:34

got health. I always wanna build up

38:36

my hair, my skin, my radiance. I

38:38

want to recover better after our workouts,

38:41

but there's one product that does all

38:43

of this. All the things that I

38:45

just said. Recovery. Hair,

38:48

skin, nails, immune system got health

38:50

and as Armrests Colossal from you're

38:52

Like Me Armrests Classroom keeps coming

38:54

up and conversations because they're everywhere.

38:56

What Is it? Classroom is the

38:58

first nutrition we receive and life

39:00

may contains all the essential nutrients

39:02

our bodies need to thrive. It

39:05

is the original superfood. I'm talking

39:07

reactivating hair growth and glowing skyn

39:09

by reducing inflammation, talking about igniting

39:11

your metabolism and fortifying that health

39:13

to feel less bloated. This is

39:15

a huge one for me. It's.

39:17

Why take it every day, feel

39:19

less bloated and the of while

39:22

replenishing your microbiome and stabilizing blood

39:24

sugar and accelerating fat burning. This

39:26

is really incredible South as well

39:28

as feeling your fitness for farmers

39:30

and recovery. Armor Classroom is a

39:32

proprietary concentrate of Bovine Classroom that

39:34

harnesses over four hundred living bioactive

39:37

nutrients that rebuild the barriers of

39:39

your body and fuel cellular. House

39:41

browsed have researched backs health benefits.

39:43

As natural, it's sustainable. It was

39:45

developed with the highest integrity is.

39:47

In grass fed in the U S

39:50

Aids and they guarantee the highest potency

39:52

and bioavailability. Have any classroom on the

39:54

markets for results. I see and feel

39:57

and you will see and feel they

39:59

worked out. Special offer for weirdos

40:01

they i eating at fifteen percent

40:03

off your first order. Go to

40:06

tryarmrests.com/weird or and weird at checkout

40:08

for fifteen percent off your first

40:10

orders at tryarmra.com/weird Definitely. Definitely Definitely

40:13

a game changer. Rosa brought to

40:15

us by our friends. That ritual.

40:17

You know I'm about it. Ritual

40:20

multi vitamins or a huge help

40:22

in my day it's the morning

40:24

here As I'm recording this, I

40:27

just bought my rituals and I'm

40:29

feeling ready. To start my day spilling

40:31

those gaps in my diet. In.

40:34

Credible is you were looking for a

40:36

ways to support stand a small health.

40:38

If that was a sport you would

40:40

want Ritual on your team. they made

40:43

Essential for Men a multi vitamin that's

40:45

based solely on science and designed to

40:47

help though com and nutrient gaps in

40:50

the diet. with tennis t nutrients according

40:52

to the Cdc guys fewer men than

40:54

women meet the minimum daily intake recommendations

40:57

for fruit and vegetables and men are

40:59

more likely to overvalue exercise and undervalued

41:01

nutrition and jerk Ritual A Multi Vitamins.

41:04

Scientifically developed for men to help

41:06

build new team gaps in their

41:08

diet. It's got a delayed

41:10

capsule which means it doesn't just get

41:12

p that your system it breaks down

41:14

in your lower intestine were can actually

41:17

be absorbed so it didn't turn your

41:19

P R highlighter yellow and is flush

41:21

out your system. It gets into your

41:23

blood when ice. Speaking personally anecdotally, as

41:25

has begun, it's going to the doctor.

41:28

I would have a lot of gaps

41:30

in my diet and ritual filled in

41:32

those gaps. They are the real deal.

41:34

Ten key nutrients in those delayed capsules

41:36

every day that dissolve in the small

41:38

intestine. gentle on an empty

41:41

stomach i fast so fasting ag

41:43

and vitamins don't often mix ritual

41:45

has got you covered everything is

41:47

traceable and essential for men is

41:49

a quality multi vitamin from a

41:52

company can actually trust get twenty

41:54

five percent off your first month

41:56

for unlimited time at ritual.com/weird start

41:58

ritual or added Essential for

42:00

men to your subscription today.

42:03

That's ritual.com/weird for 25% off

42:05

support your body support this

42:07

show If you were asked me how I

42:10

got on this path, that's the back

42:12

end. Yeah, how you knew what

42:14

you wanted? Jesus, how did we get we went

42:16

on a huge tangent that we edited out? But

42:18

how did you get on this path? How did

42:20

you uncover what it is that you love to

42:22

do? I wanted to be funny right away because

42:24

you're dead and I and I watched a ton

42:26

of TV Did you grow up watching a ton

42:28

of TV? I did what I can way too

42:30

much I was like parents used to say go

42:32

outside. Yeah, they later on when I was a

42:34

teenager and I would watch TV Instead

42:37

of being a teenager. Yeah, by

42:40

the way, they would say me too. Yes I

42:42

wasn't I was watching Zack Morris go on dates.

42:44

I wasn't going on. Yes They

42:47

said what are you gonna do get a job watching television? And

42:50

I have to tell you this jumping ahead a little bit when

42:53

I've got a job writing television

42:55

I sent them the biggest TV

42:57

that they made at the time with

42:59

a note on it that said, haha. Oh my

43:03

god a 27 inch TV with Right,

43:09

did they get it? Oh, yeah What

43:11

a beautiful thing. Honestly, man, I feel the same way.

43:14

I feel like I Think

43:16

and I'd love to hear you speak on

43:18

this there's just a certain music certain people

43:20

can hear the music of comedy and it

43:22

can be very Seductive

43:24

meaning I wanted to learn how are they

43:26

doing this? It feels like this me right

43:28

and my parents used to say and this

43:30

is real. They really were worried

43:33

about me Because I was

43:35

like like like a social Misfit

43:39

yeah skinny short

43:43

not popular bullied

43:45

hmm TV was safe TV

43:48

was fun and She

43:50

really my mother especially what is wrong with

43:52

why why are you so obsessed with television?

43:55

Hmm? I said I'm learning Okay.

43:58

Now When I said it, then. I.

44:02

Sounded. A lot like bullshit to me.

44:04

Even when I'm just saying anything, we get

44:07

her off my back on some she took

44:09

it is bullshit. And I couldn't even

44:11

I remember even at that time thinking so

44:13

yes, this does sound a lot like bullshit.

44:16

But. Looking back, it was a hundred percent

44:19

true. It's true. You didn't even know

44:21

we're learning to. Yeah, we couldn't help

44:23

it. it's getting. And why was I

44:25

adept? At running a sip

44:27

top because it's in my bones.

44:29

Yeah, I did The Malcolm Gladwell

44:31

ten thousand Hours own? Yeah, yeah,

44:34

yeah. I studied it. I

44:36

took what my my friend Alan Kirshenbaum

44:38

who encouraged me to write. Gave.

44:42

Me: the sitcom structure. In.

44:44

A minute. And then

44:47

I internalized that, understood it, and I

44:49

never took a class. and I was

44:51

good at the moon. Was.

44:54

It. What is that? One minute can

44:56

you do? Course of course. Three important

44:58

things in a sitcom. Number one: The

45:00

premise. What is the Prince? What does

45:02

this about? How many

45:04

shows and movies do we watch where

45:06

they forgot to ask that question right?

45:08

I say have we seen Hollywood The

45:11

work stops at the poster. To

45:14

become will fall into things. What's it about?

45:16

Not an awful lot of authors of post

45:18

on here that I chew on going to

45:21

come. Yeah, I got, you know, yeah. Tom

45:23

Cruise in a thing. yeah that would sit

45:25

on them. out of the I to their.

45:28

Mother. One Tennis number two.

45:31

You. Want to guess what? This might be

45:34

the number two most important thing in

45:36

a structure of a sitcom? A classic

45:38

half hour? Sick. What's the premise? Pl.

45:41

Ah, what is the character want? That's

45:44

that's a great thing, but it's not.

45:46

It doesn't go to structured okay, right?

45:48

What goes wrong? That's.

45:50

Good. Or on.

45:53

What? Does the obstacle. to

45:55

me he i had bought i would have guessed all these

45:57

things as well yeah yeah tell me what is as he

45:59

said The Act Break, which

46:02

was very odd to me. I couldn't understand

46:05

it, but what the Act Break is, meaning

46:08

the commercial in the middle of the show, right?

46:11

Act Break, like first act, second act. All

46:15

the action of

46:17

the first act rises to this point, and

46:20

all the action of the second act

46:22

is going to come from that point.

46:24

So the classic Act Break line is,

46:26

we're getting married. Everything

46:28

led up to that, and everything now in

46:31

the second half of that show is going to come from

46:33

that. And the third

46:35

most important thing in the structure of the

46:37

classic sitcom is the conclusion.

46:41

Was it worth driving all this way

46:44

for this, for the way it

46:46

ends? So basically what he's

46:48

told me is, and in order,

46:51

is beginning, middle, and end, which

46:53

are the tenets of any storytelling.

46:56

Beginning, middle, and end. This

46:59

structure, which so

47:01

many people never think of because

47:04

they don't think it's important, is

47:06

the foundation of the building. It

47:10

subconsciously strengthens every

47:13

single story. No

47:16

matter if it's a movie, a

47:18

one act play, a sitcom,

47:21

anything. Getting

47:25

back to Seinfeld for a second, which of

47:27

course is iconic and brilliant, my favorite episode

47:29

of that show was the contest.

47:32

Who could masturbate? Now, the reason I love it

47:34

so much is because

47:37

it's the structurally soundest of

47:40

all the episodes. Not only that, but all

47:42

the main characters, instead

47:44

of four diverse stories with them,

47:47

they all were relating to the one

47:49

central story which made it

47:52

inherently stronger as a story.

47:54

Right. You'll never forget

47:56

Kramer coming in within a minute, slamming down his

47:59

money. I'm out. Yeah. Yeah one of the biggest

48:01

laughs in the history of TV. I think yeah,

48:03

greatest thing Yeah, but they all

48:05

like on Raymond. I learned from this Why

48:09

have B stories and C stories? I Robert

48:11

lost his shoe who gives a

48:13

shit? No,

48:16

but if there's something worth talking about

48:18

isn't it worth talking about for the

48:20

20 minutes. Yeah, you have on TV

48:22

Yeah, plus we have a situation

48:24

where the parents live across the street and

48:27

everyone can weigh in. Yeah naturally

48:30

organically on the main story

48:32

I Just

48:34

got my teeth cleaned brag nice And it's one of

48:36

the reasons I go there is they have TVs and

48:38

you can watch Netflix while you're

48:40

getting clean and I watched a

48:43

Seinfeld because I'm one of those people I know

48:45

you are too I'm like, what is this technician

48:47

one here? You know what I mean? I was

48:49

like the rose to Tom Brady. I'm like, I'm

48:51

not having the C word Oh, you're actually programming

48:53

for the person who has to I

48:55

am I'm I'm the executive and I am

48:57

programming Yeah this audience up to yeah, but

49:00

I put on a Seinfeld and of course, I

49:02

love Seinfeld brilliant I don't have to say that

49:04

but every time I went to the B story the episode

49:06

I was watching was the big salad and

49:08

it was like George buys Elaine a big

49:11

salad Yes, but then his girlfriend hands the

49:13

bag to Elaine and gives her the salad

49:15

right Elaine. Thanks her and not George Okay,

49:17

it's classic. It's a curve episode. It's like

49:19

you should have thanked me. I bought it

49:21

for you, but you thanked her He shouldn't

49:23

bring it up. Yeah, but of course he

49:25

does right if I'm doing

49:28

that show And thank God I didn't it

49:30

wouldn't work. I mean what they did worked,

49:32

but if I'm doing the show that's enough

49:34

I wanted all about the big salad. I

49:36

want everyone weighing in on the big side

49:39

I want every scene to be about the

49:41

big salad. I want everything to be debates

49:43

arguments scenes other examples But other our world

49:45

of making Raymond, let's say yeah, it would

49:47

start there Yeah, and then balloon into the

49:49

larger issue behind it. Yes, we wouldn't do

49:52

it just for the comedians joke of You

49:55

ever notice that when you get a yeah,

49:57

I see it has to be it for

49:59

us for me. Well, it had

50:01

to be more than that. It wasn't

50:03

enough. It really feels more like instead

50:05

of a Seinfeld bit, it's like the

50:08

neuroses of George. Right. It's that I

50:10

envy this level of comedy, most of all,

50:12

and Larry David does it so brilliantly, is

50:15

the like, don't do it.

50:18

But he's doing it. Like, don't bring it up

50:20

to there in the cab. Yes. And George

50:22

says like, nothing. And

50:24

you're like going like, don't say it.

50:27

You schmuck. Right, right. And then he

50:29

goes, yeah, it's just, you know, and

50:31

you're like, and you love it. It's

50:33

amazing. The B story of that episode

50:36

is Kramer went golfing with a baseball

50:38

player. He penalized him a stroke. Later

50:40

that day, that baseball player killed his

50:42

girlfriend. Kramer thinks maybe because he penalized

50:45

him a stroke, he killed his girlfriend.

50:47

And I'm at home going like again,

50:51

full respect to the greatest show.

50:53

Yes. I'm like, I don't need it. And

50:55

you don't really. I don't need it. I don't

50:57

need it. These are comedians observations. Yeah.

50:59

And it was the best

51:01

that that that that's ever been. Yeah,

51:03

comedians observations. Yeah. I played out to

51:06

it out almost in a cartoon way.

51:08

I agree against the set of New

51:10

York. I have this but for me,

51:12

yes. The strength when the show was

51:14

at its best for me, the contest

51:16

was when it was relatable. Yeah. Like

51:18

when they found the observation that we

51:20

all could relate to. Yeah. Now I'm

51:23

in. Yeah. And there was always at

51:25

least one or two of them per

51:27

episode, which made me love the show.

51:29

Of course. But the crazy tangents. Yes.

51:31

Which also I would see on

51:33

curb as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

51:35

That's not for me. Yeah. That's all I'm saying

51:38

too. Yeah. Those moments, I, it happens

51:40

that we're watching the office because

51:43

it's just what we're all doing. I think. Anyway,

51:45

this is one of the greatest shows of all

51:47

time. No, I know, but there's a hypnotic strange

51:50

thing going on in our country that like we

51:52

can't stop watching the office. It's great. Keep watching

51:54

it and keep watching it. And keep it's great.

51:56

Every line is funny. All the behavior is funny.

51:59

There's a certain point though after Steve leaves

52:01

with a show then it's not good anymore. It

52:03

doesn't, yeah, I love

52:05

Robert California played by, what's his

52:07

name? Robert California is

52:10

played by the guy from Secretary, he's on

52:12

Blacklist, he's in Sex Lives

52:14

and Videotape. People

52:19

are yelling at their radios right now. Sorry. And

52:21

then they're also looking. I don't mean to say it wasn't good

52:23

anymore, it just wasn't the same anymore. I think James

52:26

Spader. I love James Spader, he's great on it. And

52:29

there's great Will Ferrell. There was a

52:31

center missing. There was a

52:33

center missing but then to compensate for that

52:35

center missing, they start getting a little bit

52:37

more goof troop. And what happens is there's

52:40

an episode where they're having a picnic, Andy

52:42

wants to take his staff to a picnic to

52:45

impress his boss, blah blah, that's what happens, that's

52:47

the premise. But then the

52:50

prank is that

52:54

Jim Halpert writes a book

52:56

called How to Host a, there

52:59

was a term for it like a picnic

53:01

party. He writes a

53:03

book called How to Host the Perfect Picnic

53:05

Party, puts it online knowing Dwight will buy

53:07

it. And the book

53:10

is filled with bad advice that

53:12

Dwight follows to the letter. So

53:14

the running gag and it does

53:16

pay out, there's funny moments, is

53:18

that Dwight won't stop

53:20

following the advice and says,

53:22

I see your face, I

53:24

see your showrunner face. And

53:27

it keeps cutting back to Jim, so it

53:29

showed Dwight do something crazy and then Dwight

53:32

then cuts to Jim reading from his book

53:34

that he published. Yes, you

53:36

know, self published, but he's like, the height

53:38

of the night will be the fire ceremony. And then it

53:41

cuts to Dwight and he's doing a fire ceremony and you're

53:43

just like, look, thanks

53:45

for the laughs, but there's a part of me

53:47

that's really mad right now. Like I just

53:49

can't handle the baseball stroke

53:52

murder B story of this

53:54

episode. It's really hurting me.

53:56

I get it. Because you care about the

53:59

show. You care. about the show and you

54:01

care about the people. Yes, that's right. Very, very

54:03

interesting. And sometimes we get portrayed. Yeah.

54:06

What's George Lucas? You

54:08

know, George Lucas changing who shot first in the

54:10

bar. It's, you know, the fans are like,

54:12

no, we own it. You don't own it. We

54:15

remember. I remember George Lucas in an interview before

54:18

the fourth movie came out.

54:21

Oh, the prequels. Exactly. And

54:25

he shows you a

54:27

screen. And he says, before

54:30

we couldn't have this many

54:32

planets and stars in the

54:34

shot. And now look, we can. And

54:37

I said, George, who

54:40

gives a shit? How

54:43

about a story and the characters that

54:45

we care? And don't say Jar Jar

54:47

Binks to me. You

54:54

couldn't be more right. You couldn't

54:56

be more right. You

54:58

sometimes lose the forest for the trees.

55:00

George. Use the forest. Luke. Use the

55:02

forest. Use the forest. Sometimes

55:06

you lose the forest for the trees. That's

55:09

exactly right. He lost the forest for the trees.

55:13

What a genius. I can't wait for that museum to open.

55:15

It's going to be, you know, about the museum. No. Near

55:18

USC. The George Lucas museum.

55:20

It's going to be all like it. It'll

55:22

be spectacular. Just his stuff. I

55:24

don't know if it's his stuff. Can

55:27

you look up what that's going to be? The George

55:29

Lucas museum. I think it's movies. I

55:31

also think it's space. But

55:34

just the design of the building itself is

55:37

awesome. Yeah. Can't wait for that. There's a

55:39

whole wing just on beards.

55:43

Beard. Shaving. Getting

55:45

back to your original question. I pursue

55:52

acting in high school because I think

55:54

that's a good way to

55:57

get this out of me. And I'm

55:59

in school anyway. Yeah, so what's staying

56:01

after an hour or two to do this thing?

56:03

I love and it felt good

56:05

to get lead let it out and

56:08

to be accepted. Yes What's

56:10

right? I'm sorry. I'm making it such

56:12

a great day But I think I

56:14

run on acceptance more than I care

56:16

to admit like I what we all

56:18

yeah Well, I appreciate that and maybe it's one of the

56:21

reasons we get along but I was talking again at this

56:23

dinner last night I was like, I really think Donald Glover

56:25

who I respect so much is one of those guys. That's

56:27

like It's written somewhere

56:29

in marble what he's gonna do Like

56:32

the next five things he should be he

56:35

should be the next James Bond. That's what

56:37

I think I can clearly agree and see

56:39

that's that's the that's the standard of that

56:41

kind of genius. Yeah that showed that

56:44

Mr. And Mrs. Great fantastic and he's great and

56:47

that's what made me think he's James Bond There

56:49

were moments in it where I was like, is

56:51

this a documentary? It's great Like their dinner

56:54

party moments where you're like, how

56:56

are they making it feel? Exactly like a dinner

56:58

party with two couples and the way they use

57:00

New York was like I had how do you

57:03

how do you move? You work and make it

57:05

seem fresh and new it was fantastic. I like

57:07

Tokyo. Yes, it was fantastic. It was really fantastic

57:09

Did you see the George Lucas Museum? That's

57:16

cool And

57:23

the weird beard wing What

57:26

I'm saying is there's a certain and I'm not

57:28

putting myself down There's a certain kind of artist

57:30

that I think they're really they have a different

57:32

kind of North star and I'm a little embarrassed

57:35

Kind of deep down little Pete is looking

57:37

to be in the fold. He

57:39

wants to be in a little community He

57:42

wants to get laughs but not so much

57:44

like create Nothing,

57:46

you know what I mean? Like no, that's

57:48

fine, but That's everyone

57:50

who does this. Tell me tell me what

57:52

you think of course Listen

57:56

I kept no good at sports and that

57:58

was the value of my town Yeah

58:01

sports, that's the only thing you spent

58:03

money on and here's you

58:05

know little skinny kid

58:08

Who just wants to be funny on stage

58:10

so I do the school plays and we

58:12

do these improv Games and

58:14

stuff and I'm with other nerds who like

58:16

the same thing, but at least I have

58:18

a group Right. I'm

58:21

so with you. Yeah of friends

58:23

and we laugh right and you

58:26

know, that's It's the

58:28

only way I could be accepted by anyone

58:30

and by the way when you're a teenager

58:33

The only way you're gonna get a girl to look at you Yeah,

58:36

if you're not an athlete is a sense of

58:38

humor. Yeah, which is our most

58:40

undervalued trait Just sense

58:42

of humor. I believe it's who

58:44

I'll become friends with is Through

58:47

an appreciation of each other's sense of humor

58:49

not even if mine is exactly like yours

58:51

Yeah, but I know what you're doing and

58:53

I love it. Yes and hang out with

58:55

me You're so right. That's everything and

58:58

I'll go one step further. It's who we marry I

59:00

was thinking that that's what did you see me go? I was

59:03

appreciating Val in that moment. I was

59:05

just thinking about yeah, I Know

59:08

this is gonna sound corny, but she'll take my breath away

59:10

with a joke Awesome when

59:12

I go like and I don't laugh and I go

59:14

now I'm just really happy That

59:17

you that you're right works like mine Monica's

59:19

hysterical anytime. She wants to make me laugh

59:22

I am the easiest laugh. Yeah, I she can

59:24

make me laugh like a in

59:26

a second. Yeah. Yeah She'll do a voice or a thing or

59:28

this this is on the oh, you don't like this. No,

59:31

I do like it But

59:33

I've been shamed before not shamed Appropriately

59:36

teased for having my belly coming out. Uh

59:39

Okay, so I do this. Yeah. Oh,

59:42

I said you got it out. You got it out the theater.

59:44

You got it out I did was a big store

59:46

in high school Encouraged to go to

59:49

Hofstra University for theater and then I

59:51

don't have to tell you when you graduate With a BFA

59:53

in theater and move into New York City the whole world

59:55

is open to you It's

1:00:00

always tapping a cane twice on the ground and throwing it

1:00:02

to you. An absolute disaster. They

1:00:05

tried to warn us, and we were so

1:00:07

angry as theater students when the teachers would

1:00:09

go, you're never going to make it. The

1:00:12

odds are, you know, there's 40,000 people

1:00:14

going for one park in New York. You're never going

1:00:16

to make it. And at that age, you go, first

1:00:20

of all, fuck you, I'm paying you to help

1:00:22

me make it. Second of

1:00:24

all, I'll be the one that

1:00:26

makes it. Wait until they get a letter of me. And

1:00:29

then you move into Manhattan, and nobody called New York to

1:00:31

tell them what a big story you were in high school.

1:00:35

So now you're a shlemille just trying,

1:00:37

and I did all kinds of odd

1:00:39

jobs for years. Until some

1:00:41

friends of mine and I wrote a play for ourselves to be in,

1:00:44

which is literally for anyone watching

1:00:46

or listening, the only way.

1:00:49

They're not waiting for you. You must literally

1:00:51

write your own ticket. I, okay, so I'm

1:00:54

in a place where I'm like, what's the

1:00:56

next chapter? And I'm realizing,

1:00:58

Pete, it's still true.

1:01:01

You have to do it. Why

1:01:04

aren't they calling me? Haven't

1:01:08

they seen this, this, this, and this? Yeah. They've

1:01:11

seen it, but they've got their own Michigan that

1:01:13

they're dealing with. That's right. You

1:01:15

have to do it. That's always how it is.

1:01:18

Yeah. Always. If we

1:01:20

wait for offers, they're not

1:01:22

coming. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? It's

1:01:25

not crazy. It's completely rational. Maybe three

1:01:27

people on the planet who get offers.

1:01:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? That's

1:01:32

right. And you know, Donald Glover, to bring him

1:01:34

back, he's getting offers and he's still making his

1:01:36

own stuff because he knows. He knows that's going

1:01:38

to be the better thing. That's going to be

1:01:40

the better thing. Yes. I'm remembering

1:01:42

Bill Lawrence of this podcast. We were talking

1:01:44

about when people pitch you ideas to do

1:01:46

and he goes, I won't listen to it because

1:01:49

he goes, I got into this because I want to do

1:01:51

my ideas. Exactly. And I thought that

1:01:53

was so honest. It's not mean. But it's like, I'm

1:01:55

going to stop you because I really want to do

1:01:57

my you want to do that. You should do that.

1:02:00

I'm very open to hearing ideas, but at the

1:02:02

end of the day, I do

1:02:05

have to care so much more

1:02:07

about your idea to

1:02:09

put my own in the back. Right, that's

1:02:12

right. Which is why... Raymond

1:02:15

became a you idea too. I'm not trying

1:02:17

to bring this back to Raymond, I'm just

1:02:19

saying like, you needed enough room for Phil.

1:02:23

I couldn't have done it without

1:02:25

putting my... Or knew how to do

1:02:27

it. Yes, Ray, when

1:02:30

I met... Let me very

1:02:32

quickly just take you to that point. In

1:02:35

New York, writer played for ourselves to be

1:02:37

in. My friend Alan Kirschbaum and I write

1:02:39

a screenplay. We sell it immediately. All of

1:02:41

a sudden, I go from eating tuna fish

1:02:43

for dinner as an actor to eating whatever

1:02:46

I wanted as a writer. I was a

1:02:48

thousandaire. And I moved to LA because

1:02:50

I hear there's... You can

1:02:52

get work. There's Golden M Hills. So my partner and

1:02:54

I, we write a spec script, we

1:02:56

get hired immediately on the show. Not a

1:02:58

good show, but immediately. And God is telling

1:03:00

me, oh, I guess this is what you're

1:03:03

meant to do because look how easy this came

1:03:05

after all that. All

1:03:07

the hours and hours of watching TV are

1:03:10

now paying off. And I got

1:03:12

a job in television. Five

1:03:14

years of bad shows mostly. And then I

1:03:16

meet Ray Romano. Ray Romano had been struggling

1:03:18

as a stand up for 12 years. He

1:03:20

gets on Letterman. After six minutes, Letterman says

1:03:23

there should be a sitcom for this guy.

1:03:25

Letterman had a deal with TBS. They set

1:03:27

out looking for writers to create a show

1:03:29

for Ray. Ray meets with a

1:03:31

bunch of people. I'm one of them. He tells me that

1:03:33

he has a family, twin

1:03:36

boys and older daughter. Parents live

1:03:39

close by. Older brother is jealous of him.

1:03:41

His police sergeant lives with the family, lives

1:03:43

with the parents. He

1:03:46

tells me in this first meeting, he actually said, you

1:03:48

know, when he saw my stand up cable, Ace

1:03:51

Award. Never ends for Raymond. Everybody

1:03:53

loves Raymond. And I

1:03:55

said, well, it doesn't seem like there's anything there we can use.

1:04:00

So I say, Ray, that's

1:04:02

as good a place to start as any. He goes, what? I

1:04:05

said, you're life. That's, first

1:04:07

of all, you're not an actor. I'm not

1:04:09

going to make you a gay astronaut from

1:04:12

Cleveland. Yeah. Let's set it in this

1:04:14

world. Again,

1:04:16

he wanted to do a Seinfeld-esque kind of show.

1:04:18

Why? Because he's a standup. Yeah. And he sees

1:04:20

this is how you do it. Was that the

1:04:22

other kind of ideas people were pitching? Do you

1:04:24

remember any of them? Was it like you and

1:04:26

your friend are comics and you live in New

1:04:28

York? No, it was just me and him in

1:04:30

a meeting. No one was pitching anything. Yeah, but

1:04:32

did he ever tell you? Because your take was,

1:04:34

let's do your life. What were the other take?

1:04:36

Let's do a classic type of sitcom, mainly

1:04:40

because that's what I know how to do.

1:04:42

Right. Those are my values.

1:04:44

I love the

1:04:46

honeymowers, the odd couple, Mary

1:04:49

Tyler Moore, all the family, taxi. Classic

1:04:53

shows that were set on planet Earth in

1:04:56

real life, not I dream of genie, not

1:04:58

bewitched. Yeah. And I

1:05:00

love that they were filmed in front of

1:05:02

a live studio audience because that's a lot

1:05:04

like theater and that's where I'm from. Right.

1:05:06

So I like that. The

1:05:08

four cameras that come, which you don't see anymore, is

1:05:11

this perfect in between theater and

1:05:13

film. Yeah. You

1:05:16

write it, rehearse it, and

1:05:18

present it as a play. Yeah. And

1:05:20

then it has the flexibility and permanence

1:05:22

of film. Yeah. So

1:05:24

it's the best of both worlds. Yeah. When it

1:05:26

works, it's one

1:05:29

of the building blocks of television.

1:05:31

Yeah. Meaning whole networks

1:05:33

could build their programming around such a

1:05:35

show because that's how strong

1:05:37

the connection is with the audience. When it works. When

1:05:40

it works. Yeah. But

1:05:43

the executives, they blame the form.

1:05:46

It's not the form. It's the content. As

1:05:49

soon as there's a great one again, the form will be back. You

1:05:52

know? Mm-hmm. So it

1:05:55

is weird that we're all still watching it. We just

1:05:57

watch the old ones. People are still watching, friends. because

1:06:00

they love that. What a fine film. You feel like

1:06:02

you're part of something. It's again, it's a connection. Yeah.

1:06:04

You hear that laughing. And if

1:06:06

it's not fake laughing, you

1:06:09

feel like, oh my God, look, the

1:06:11

actors are holding for the

1:06:13

laugh, which you don't see in a single

1:06:15

camera show like The Office. As great as

1:06:17

that is, there's something

1:06:20

about watching the theater,

1:06:23

the filmed live show. Yes.

1:06:26

Well, you feel appreciated, you feel included, you feel...

1:06:28

Yes. And when stand

1:06:30

up is at its best, everyone's

1:06:32

being acknowledged. Right. And

1:06:34

the comedian is waiting

1:06:37

for you just the right amount and then hitting

1:06:39

you again. Yes. But there's a

1:06:41

very reciprocal, beautiful

1:06:43

consideration on both ends. Well,

1:06:45

you have that. I mean, the way

1:06:48

you work is wonderful because

1:06:50

not only do you include them

1:06:52

in your sides

1:06:55

in between your prepared material, but you

1:06:57

are like, why did I say that?

1:07:00

This, this, and how about... You're

1:07:02

including them in your processing, which is great. Because

1:07:06

you're doing it with them. The

1:07:08

multi cameras also has notes of

1:07:10

that. I agree with you. Yes. I

1:07:12

would love for it to come back. You're just making me realize how bad

1:07:14

it would be nice for it to come back. It would be great. It'd

1:07:17

be great. Healthy hydration isn't

1:07:19

just about drinking water. It's

1:07:21

about drinking water plus electrolytes.

1:07:23

But if you grew up

1:07:25

like me in the nineties,

1:07:27

electrolyte drinks meant soda, basically

1:07:29

flat, fruity soda that maybe

1:07:31

had some electrolytes hiding in

1:07:34

there. Element, L-M-N-T is

1:07:36

different. It is the perfect

1:07:38

science back blend of sodium,

1:07:40

potassium, and magnesium. What does

1:07:42

that mean? It means everything

1:07:44

that you are sweating out

1:07:46

gets poured, gets rushed back

1:07:48

into your cells with no sugar.

1:07:51

It's only five calories and it

1:07:53

tastes fantastic. I start every day.

1:07:56

It's a way to jump start

1:07:58

my system, getting that... sodium into

1:08:00

me, getting that magnesium and that

1:08:02

potassium and flooding me

1:08:05

with hydration is the perfect way to start

1:08:07

my day. It's also a wonderful way to

1:08:09

jump start myself in the middle of the

1:08:11

day. I was talking to a friend of

1:08:13

mine who loves element as well and they

1:08:15

said better than a cup of coffee. That's

1:08:18

what they said. And I completely agree. It

1:08:20

energizes you, it hydrates you and it gives

1:08:22

you what your body is craving, especially after

1:08:24

a workout, but also just in the morning

1:08:26

talking about helping neuro-connectivity, all of this wonderful

1:08:28

stuff. Element has a

1:08:31

fantastic offer for you. Go to

1:08:33

drinklmnt.com/weird and use promo code weird.

1:08:35

You'll get a free element sample

1:08:37

pack with any order. And this

1:08:39

is how I found out that

1:08:41

I love the flavor mango chili.

1:08:43

Who knew I wanted a spicy

1:08:45

electrolyte drink? Turns out I do.

1:08:47

I love mango chili. I love

1:08:49

watermelon salt. I love chocolate salt.

1:08:51

I love chocolate salt hot. It's

1:08:53

a fantastic drink and it makes

1:08:55

you feel fantastic. Support

1:08:58

your body, support the show, give

1:09:00

it a try. You won't

1:09:02

regret it, go to

1:09:04

drinklmnt.com/weird. You'll get your

1:09:06

free sample pack with

1:09:08

any purchase. That's drinklmnt.com/weird.

1:09:10

Huge element, huge element

1:09:12

guy. Also, magic mind,

1:09:15

you guys know this. Every episode magic mind

1:09:17

comes up because I'm always trying to get

1:09:19

the guests to drink their magic mind. Why?

1:09:22

Because I know it will dial them in. I

1:09:24

know it's got just a little bit of sweetness so

1:09:26

it'll make them happy. I know that it's got those

1:09:28

new tropics so it'll help them access their thoughts,

1:09:30

their memories, their vocabulary, everything

1:09:33

that they have to share that's in their brain.

1:09:35

That's what's called magic mind. It's like, it kind

1:09:38

of puts you right in the middle, meaning

1:09:40

there's adaptogens from ashwagandha

1:09:42

that help calm your system down

1:09:44

and there's caffeine from matcha so

1:09:46

it puts you right at that

1:09:48

perfect cruising altitude. It's not wired,

1:09:50

it's not like a energy drink

1:09:52

buzz. It's dialed in.

1:09:55

Athletes have Gatorade, now creators have

1:09:58

Creatorade. Magic mind is... is a

1:10:00

huge, huge, huge life hack in my

1:10:02

life. And I've turned so many writers

1:10:05

and comedians and performers on, but anybody,

1:10:07

Belle loves it too when she's sitting

1:10:09

down to write, when she's sitting down

1:10:11

to work, whatever you got. If you're

1:10:14

just answering emails, a Magic Mind will

1:10:16

drop you into that flow state. That's

1:10:18

what it is, flow state in a

1:10:20

bottle. Give it a try, people love

1:10:23

it. Go to magicmind.co.weird and you will

1:10:25

get a discount, 20% off with

1:10:28

checkout code weird, magicmind.co.weird

1:10:30

and use promo code weird.

1:10:33

You will love it, get into it.

1:10:37

It will, it just hasn't. When people ask, are

1:10:39

you ever gonna do that again? Yeah, as soon

1:10:41

as there's a great idea and an acceptance for

1:10:43

the idea. I can't tell you how many shows

1:10:45

I've tried since Raymond. After Raymond,

1:10:47

I thought, this is my purpose in life. I

1:10:50

should do sick terms. Everyone's

1:10:52

telling me I have to do another one, but nobody

1:10:54

wanted it. They told me the business changed greatly in

1:10:56

the nine years that I was doing Raymond. And

1:10:59

then I thought, well, I

1:11:01

have this dream of doing this travel show.

1:11:04

I saw a niche for myself. And

1:11:07

the niche was, I think I'm exactly like

1:11:09

Anthony Bourdain if he was afraid of everything.

1:11:13

Anthony Bourdain's a superhero, he's fantastic.

1:11:16

I'm never doing what he does. Yeah, he's Indiana

1:11:19

Jones. Yeah, did you ever

1:11:21

see the episode where he went to Borneo and

1:11:23

he got drunk with the tribesmen and

1:11:26

they gave him a chest tattoo by pounding

1:11:28

painted nails into his chest after they were

1:11:30

all drunk? No. This

1:11:32

is not Phil. This

1:11:34

is not me. I am not. First

1:11:37

of all, I'm not going to Borneo first. Why?

1:11:41

Because where's the hotel? I need

1:11:43

a hotel with a bed and a pillow. That's a yes, I'm

1:11:45

old. I need to lie down

1:11:47

when I fly now. But

1:11:51

it's obvious, I'm not pretending to be someone

1:11:53

else. I am this guy. But

1:11:56

what I'm finding is, there's a lot of people

1:11:59

in the audience like that. Yeah, well, that

1:12:01

is the miracle of your shown. When

1:12:03

I moderated, you're saying I was like,

1:12:05

look at him, look at this fan

1:12:07

base. You couldn't ask for a better

1:12:10

one. And they're all from little kids

1:12:12

as deadbeats and they really can next

1:12:14

week. What's funny is that. You're

1:12:17

not. I wouldn't describe it like cells in

1:12:19

every man. But. Then it turns

1:12:21

out that there are so many of

1:12:24

you that maybe we should call you

1:12:26

in every man, meaning they classic Hollywood

1:12:28

every. Your. Little more interesting

1:12:30

than that guy, but I do feel

1:12:32

like and every man in terms of

1:12:34

my insecurities and and worries and foibles.

1:12:38

I write I do feel like I mean, it's

1:12:40

like I'm the opposite of Bourdain, right? Although I

1:12:42

will say now that I may have started out

1:12:44

as a coward. I'm. Still

1:12:46

somewhat cowardly, but. My.

1:12:49

Experience as yours would be.

1:12:52

Makes. You braver because the biggest fears:

1:12:54

the unknown. right? So.

1:12:57

How do you. Conquer. The fear of the unknown

1:12:59

make it known. Yeah, yeah. so

1:13:01

over the past however many years

1:13:03

I've been making things known to

1:13:05

myself. Yeah, And so now

1:13:07

I'm not as afraid to eat a

1:13:09

bug. right? Or

1:13:12

Trump and Cold Water. I don't like it to

1:13:14

land but my brother likes push me into the

1:13:16

Gulf War. Some of that haven't. Woken.

1:13:18

Up. Literally. But

1:13:20

Isaac. The Advisor so go

1:13:23

know what I was watching the making of skittles.

1:13:25

Cause. I hear it really was talking

1:13:27

to somebody original out of Bugs Arches if he'd

1:13:30

skittles. Hits You know this? This.

1:13:32

Bugs in everything I think you would

1:13:34

wanna know. Oh I don't mean accidental bugs.

1:13:36

Oh I don't mean what's the doodles?

1:13:38

okay as they're known. see. I'm. Talking

1:13:41

about the this ducky we were like how

1:13:43

to make a schedule. I was as my

1:13:45

brother my was like. john

1:13:47

roy the great comic had a bit about like

1:13:49

how would you make a skittle from scratch and

1:13:51

i'll never forget he got i'm gonna guess melting

1:13:53

peacock poop know know some is a good melt

1:13:56

the top of a baseball helmet put on sugar

1:13:58

i was like his father john right Check

1:14:00

out John Roy, he's hilarious. That's really funny. But I

1:14:02

was like, really, how do you do it? And I

1:14:04

asked my friend, my brother-in-law, he

1:14:06

is my friend, but I go, do

1:14:08

you think there's oil? Do you fry it

1:14:10

at any point? Is it cooked at any point? Like we were just talking

1:14:13

about it. How do you make a skittle? So we looked it up. Okay.

1:14:16

And very casually in the thing, it's interesting, there's a

1:14:18

lot of tumbling, that's how they get things round, and

1:14:20

then they are different on the inside, the outside is

1:14:23

the same, the color, blah, blah, blah. And

1:14:27

now it's vegan. And I'm like,

1:14:29

wait, why wasn't it vegan before? And

1:14:31

I wasn't, it just explained. It

1:14:34

goes, up until 2009, the way

1:14:36

that they made the skittles shiny

1:14:38

was essentially, it was

1:14:40

like grasshoppers. It was like ground up grasshopper

1:14:42

juice sprayed on the skittles. It wasn't exactly

1:14:45

grasshoppers, but it was a bug. And I

1:14:47

was like, excuse me, 2009? Who

1:14:50

thought of this, first of all? Who's testing the

1:14:52

bug spray? Oh my God. That's a

1:14:54

different kind of bug spray. Literal bug.

1:14:56

Literal bug. But I mean, they said it

1:14:58

like the candy people know this.

1:15:00

You know that that candy and

1:15:02

other things may be banned in

1:15:04

California because of the color?

1:15:08

That it's a cancerous, the

1:15:10

color, and not just skittles, I think

1:15:12

Oreos have this, have a color thing?

1:15:15

That, but I mean, don't ban Oreos because

1:15:17

it's my favorite thing. Cheetos

1:15:20

has it too? So

1:15:23

it's about the color of things.

1:15:25

Yeah. Not the

1:15:27

taste of things. Well, yeah.

1:15:30

And the shine is going to be a little buggy.

1:15:32

And there's literal like petroleum

1:15:36

products in some of this crap. Well, I don't want

1:15:38

to make this a bummer, but the people making these

1:15:40

things, they only care about money. Really?

1:15:43

It's so disillusioned. Nobody cares.

1:15:46

I thought it was Willy

1:15:48

Wonka making all this. Isn't

1:15:50

that funny? Willy Wonka is

1:15:52

the ultimate solution. Talk

1:15:55

about the Gene Wilder. Please.

1:15:58

Gene Wilder only. Chalamet. Shallow

1:16:00

get out of here. I don't know. I liked

1:16:02

if you didn't like you know me. He's perfectly fine

1:16:04

But I if you're my age you like Gene Wilder

1:16:06

the best well I'll tell you what Wilder had over

1:16:09

Shallow me, but they didn't give it

1:16:11

to Shallow me and maybe they will is The

1:16:13

fucked up part the like sinister

1:16:16

part because what do you mean?

1:16:18

Maybe they will you mean in a sequel? Yeah, they're

1:16:20

well the whole thing is gonna be nine

1:16:22

movies again. Oh, yeah. Did you see

1:16:24

it? It ends where

1:16:26

he's like here's my factory and you're like, oh so the

1:16:28

second one's gonna be the factory I'll tell

1:16:31

you what Larry Gelbart. I got to I got

1:16:33

to be friends with my idols Norman Lear Larry

1:16:35

Gelbart Carl

1:16:37

Reiner these are these are my buddies and

1:16:40

go go to lunch with them I just had

1:16:42

the greatest life with these guys And

1:16:44

I made sure that I could have lunch

1:16:46

with them. I was the like ringleader I made

1:16:49

sure that we would have lunches and dinners

1:16:51

and Mel Brooks would come and Neil Simon would

1:16:53

come I was living a fantasy. It was

1:16:55

Simon making it what Paul Simon Neil

1:16:58

Simon, okay You

1:17:01

really don't know much about comedy history.

1:17:03

I was in rumors in college. I know

1:17:05

Neil I

1:17:12

was one of the great 17 year old Oscar Madison's

1:17:14

I'll have you know, is that right? Yeah,

1:17:16

that's very funny I was a

1:17:18

yeah, it was probably a twenty year old like

1:17:20

imitating Walter mother. No, it's garbage She's

1:17:25

going divorced me and Larry

1:17:28

Larry Gelbart and Norman

1:17:31

asked me what's it like to pitch a show

1:17:33

nowadays to networks and I start to explain it

1:17:35

and Larry stops me and turns

1:17:37

to Norman and says we're dying just in

1:17:39

time Wow That's

1:17:43

how I feel about a lot of stuff

1:17:45

that I thought of Norman today because I

1:17:47

put my shoes on and Classic

1:17:50

all in the family. I did one sock and shoe

1:17:52

and then other sock and shoe what I did I

1:17:54

like to take care of one foot at a time

1:17:56

Carl Reiner you do that you do that. I don't

1:17:58

do it every time Sometimes I

1:18:01

do sock sock shoe shoe, but today I

1:18:03

did sock shoe sock shoe. Consciously? Just

1:18:06

going with my gut. Felt

1:18:08

like taking care of one another. I've never done

1:18:10

that. You've never done sock shoe sock shoe? Never.

1:18:13

You should try it. I'm going to try it tomorrow.

1:18:15

I'm going to try it tomorrow. I'm so glad I came. Did you

1:18:17

get your whole thing? Yeah. So

1:18:19

I thought about that exchange on All in the Family,

1:18:21

but all respect, what a

1:18:24

time for comedy. Yes. Meaning,

1:18:26

imagine they're on set.

1:18:29

Because the story is

1:18:31

Carol O'Connor and Rob Reiner had

1:18:33

that conversation off camera. That's great.

1:18:36

They captured it. They put it

1:18:38

in the show. Yeah. I sort of

1:18:40

feel this way about music, about all

1:18:42

sorts of art. There was a

1:18:44

golden time when if you

1:18:46

notice someone having a talk about sock shoe

1:18:48

sock shoe, like sock shoe shoe, you

1:18:51

could put it in the show with full confidence that no one's done

1:18:53

it. Meaning, it was

1:18:55

like a gold rush. Of course. You

1:18:57

could just run and do anything. Everybody loves

1:18:59

Raymond. His parents live across the street. Now you have to

1:19:01

pitch a show and you go like, it's a little bit

1:19:03

like Raymond, it's a little bit like Cheers, he works at

1:19:05

a bar, but he also- By the way, we weren't the

1:19:07

first people that had the parents close by. I know, but

1:19:09

you weren't the 500th. I

1:19:12

guess, but it's all about execution. The

1:19:14

idea is one thing. Ideas

1:19:16

are a dime a dozen. I love what you're

1:19:18

saying. Execution is everything. Say it. Right?

1:19:21

You ever watch a movie and the plot is a guy

1:19:24

meets a girl, that's it, that's the whole plot? That's

1:19:27

the best movie you've ever seen in your life. Well

1:19:29

sure, because it's how they do it. It's how they

1:19:31

do it. You're absolutely right. That's everything. Yeah. Somebody

1:19:34

makes fried eggs better than somebody else.

1:19:36

Right. How they do it.

1:19:38

Right. You want eggs? Well,

1:19:41

how are you going to do it? I think

1:19:43

that's why these modern shows that are like kitchen

1:19:45

sink shows, they're like, there's a VR element. Something

1:19:47

for everybody. Yeah, something for everybody. Which means nothing

1:19:49

for nobody. Nothing for nobody. You said this when

1:19:51

we chatted at whatever theater that was. You were

1:19:53

like, the more specific, the more universal it is.

1:19:55

That's right. Like people aren't getting

1:19:57

that anymore. And a lot of stuff

1:19:59

is being loaded. into algorithms that are like you have

1:20:01

to open with a car chase and then there

1:20:03

has to be a sex scene and then there's

1:20:05

some hot comedy. But you know you leave those

1:20:07

things and you get the feeling of a buffet.

1:20:09

Yes. And I don't care how good

1:20:11

a buffet is, you're kind of like it would have been

1:20:14

better if they curated it and like served it. Always.

1:20:16

You know what I'm saying? We would get notes on

1:20:18

Raymond. You

1:20:21

need to make this character

1:20:23

more likable. And I'm

1:20:26

like, can I ask you something? Who in your family

1:20:28

is likable? Really?

1:20:31

Yeah. Everyone's, everyone,

1:20:33

this is what's, and

1:20:35

I always go to Taxi, Danny DeVito. Yeah.

1:20:38

Likeable? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Funniest character

1:20:40

ever. Yeah. Right. Not really.

1:20:43

He made us laugh and we believed him. Yeah.

1:20:45

And he was outrageously small. Yeah.

1:20:47

And a, and a, and a

1:20:50

absolute tyrant. Great character.

1:20:52

Yeah. We love him and we

1:20:54

love that show. So you would not take that

1:20:56

note? Never. And that went okay?

1:20:59

No. We were threatened every day

1:21:02

until we weren't. Wow.

1:21:05

The Sugg Life classes come out. Joe,

1:21:10

please make that the clip and have

1:21:12

the Sugg Life classes. So I'm not

1:21:14

taking network notes. Well, okay.

1:21:16

Listen, the best advice

1:21:19

I ever got was from Ed

1:21:21

Weinberger, showrunner on the Cosby Show,

1:21:23

the eighties, uh, uh,

1:21:25

maybe Talamour, a

1:21:27

bunch of shows, taxi with Jim Brooks, right?

1:21:32

I'm writing a pilot for Raymond and I asked him

1:21:34

for advice and he says, do

1:21:36

the show you want to do, because in the end they're going

1:21:39

to cancel you anyway. This

1:21:41

became my philosophy of life.

1:21:45

We all get canceled one day. Yeah.

1:21:47

So live your life. What are you

1:21:49

doing? Culture. God's canceling people every day,

1:21:51

every day, every day full cancel. You're

1:21:53

going to get canceled. I'm going to

1:21:55

get canceled. That's right. Yeah. Canceled. So

1:21:58

these little cancels. that

1:22:00

we get. Microcancels. They don't

1:22:02

mean anything. You mean

1:22:04

TV cameras, they just keep you out of

1:22:06

the doghouse. And the internet stuff. Yeah, yeah.

1:22:09

All that stuff. It's

1:22:11

meaningless. I mean,

1:22:13

I guess it's not if you're prevented from working

1:22:15

ever again. You're just saying big picture. Big picture.

1:22:17

Do the show you want to do because in

1:22:20

the end they're going to cancel you anyway. So

1:22:22

it doesn't do any good to

1:22:24

say as they're canceling you, but I took all your notes.

1:22:27

Right. That's probably why it stinks and why

1:22:29

you're cancelled. Right. Because they don't know. Right.

1:22:31

If they knew, they would do it. And

1:22:33

they wouldn't. Believe me, they'd like to save

1:22:35

a dollar and not hire you. Yeah, yeah,

1:22:37

yeah. They would do it if they could

1:22:39

do it. Right. I think there's

1:22:41

something, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

1:22:44

It comes up a lot. There's a psychotherapist named

1:22:46

Alan de Button. I always say Alain du Botton

1:22:48

because it sounds better. He

1:22:51

says when you go on a date and

1:22:53

you fall for, you feel a spark. This

1:22:56

is about AI. This is about everything we're talking about. He

1:22:59

goes, what you're really responding to is this

1:23:01

person has been wounded in the same way

1:23:03

that I was wounded and, and I

1:23:07

don't mean bad wound necessarily, but they will wound me

1:23:09

in a way that's familiar to me. If they hurt

1:23:11

me, it'll be the familiar way. Kind of like the,

1:23:13

a little bit of the devil,

1:23:16

you know, but like Val and I have a

1:23:18

very beautiful relationship and I agree with this theory

1:23:20

that like you are on the same frequency when

1:23:22

it comes to the type of pickles

1:23:25

we might have, they'll be familiar to me. What

1:23:27

I'm saying is I say this a million times,

1:23:30

perfumes always have a sour smell, right?

1:23:32

Behind the beautiful smell. So there's flowers and

1:23:34

then there's like horse piss. We love that.

1:23:36

And when you're on a date and you

1:23:38

feel excited by the person, somewhere deep in

1:23:40

the back, you're like, this person will hurt

1:23:42

me in a way that I kind of

1:23:44

want to be hurt. All of this is to say

1:23:46

it can't really be streamlined.

1:23:49

It can't be noted. There's like a, I'm

1:23:51

going to put this to you. There's like a

1:23:53

dreamy Freudian

1:23:55

unconscious complicated. I'll make

1:23:57

it simpler. Deeply human.

1:24:00

thing that an unencumbered

1:24:02

person without trying to

1:24:04

will infuse their work with, like a

1:24:06

psychological depth and stickiness and shadowiness that's

1:24:08

just going to make it resonate to

1:24:10

another human as opposed to making a

1:24:12

show that nine executives, blah, blah, blah,

1:24:14

blah, blah, blah, and cleaned everything up.

1:24:16

That's like going to a date and going like, well, let's take that

1:24:18

wound away and this wound away and this wound away and you don't

1:24:21

fall in love. Did any of that make sense? Absolutely.

1:24:24

And again, it's the specificity

1:24:26

of a well-rounded character or

1:24:28

person that we're trying to

1:24:30

create, right? That makes

1:24:32

it attractive to everyone else. Why? Because

1:24:34

even if their specific

1:24:36

isn't yours, we all deal in

1:24:39

specifics and we relate to each

1:24:41

other's specifics. Yeah. Oh, she's

1:24:44

obsessed with this thing the way I'm

1:24:46

obsessed with that thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:24:48

Yeah. So I relate. And Tony

1:24:50

Soprano struggles with his mother. Exactly. Like

1:24:53

that's the most obvious note. Not,

1:24:55

this is a joke, but like someone would be like,

1:24:57

does his mother on the Sopranos, does his mother have

1:24:59

to be so mean?

1:25:01

Yeah. Yes, she does because she created

1:25:04

a mob boss. Does she have to be so

1:25:06

mean? Yes, of course. Could there be some jokes?

1:25:08

Can't she be more likable? Could

1:25:10

she be sweet? Could she be a great cook?

1:25:12

No, she stinks. She stinks

1:25:14

in every way. And she hates her

1:25:16

son. And she hates her son. That's

1:25:18

great. Yes. And you watch it. This

1:25:20

is what I mean. Good art and

1:25:22

a good date. If Alan Day-Baton is

1:25:24

to be believed, both resonate

1:25:27

on a level we don't want to

1:25:29

look at. That's interesting. I never thought

1:25:31

of that. Yeah. I don't think you should. I don't

1:25:33

think either of us should. Yeah. But when we're left

1:25:35

to our own devices and

1:25:37

you just put in your stuff, it's

1:25:41

in there. Right. As long as somebody doesn't take it out.

1:25:43

Yeah. Yeah.

1:25:49

You, human beings go through a lot of

1:25:51

failure before they get to success. I don't

1:25:53

think anyone is just hit out of the

1:25:55

box. So all these travails

1:25:58

that we've had and those notes

1:26:00

that almost killed us and probably did a

1:26:02

few times, right? We

1:26:05

learn from them, don't do that again, but

1:26:07

every time I like I've been in

1:26:10

the mentorship position now where they'll send

1:26:12

me a young writer and I tell

1:26:14

them this thing, do the show you

1:26:16

want to do because in the end they're and

1:26:19

they all want to do that until

1:26:21

they get a note. Yeah. And then they

1:26:23

want to please. And they all

1:26:26

think, and I was guilty of this too,

1:26:29

if I just get it on, then

1:26:31

I'll do what I want. They all think that

1:26:35

and it never happens. Yeah.

1:26:37

Wow. My father's in real

1:26:39

estate and he 15, 30

1:26:41

year mortgage conversation and I was like, I'm going to

1:26:43

do the 30 and when I get a big payday,

1:26:46

I'll just pay off the house and he goes, Pete,

1:26:48

everyone says they're going to do that. No one does

1:26:50

it. There's all these like insider things. Like why would

1:26:52

you do that? Suddenly you have a

1:26:54

hundred thousand dollars. You're just going to put it in

1:26:56

your mortgage. Nobody does that. Right. Nobody does that. Of

1:26:59

course. Just an idea. Yeah. Just a number on

1:27:01

a bank thing. You're just going to throw it

1:27:04

away because you're going to be juiced for 30

1:27:06

years. Did you ever see Jake

1:27:09

Caston's movie, the TV set? I

1:27:12

just watched it. You did? I just watched it. I have

1:27:14

a little part in it as an executive. I know you

1:27:16

do. Judy Greer just did the podcast. I love her. She

1:27:18

was the last one. I love Judy.

1:27:20

She's wonderful. And Jed Apatow is

1:27:22

played by David Duchovny, essentially. Hysterical.

1:27:25

Isn't that great? Back problems. Yes.

1:27:27

Hysterical. Yeah. That

1:27:31

movie is so

1:27:34

true. Yeah. It's a horror movie. The

1:27:36

worst thing that happens to the character

1:27:38

is that a show gets picked up

1:27:40

after he's made every adjustment with the

1:27:42

notes. Now he's trapped in a show

1:27:45

he doesn't even like, let

1:27:47

alone has to run. Yes. My

1:27:50

favorite part of that movie is

1:27:52

when the, it's not Seth Green, but it's the

1:27:54

guy who kind of looks like Seth Green. He's great,

1:27:56

by the way. I wish I knew his name. But

1:27:59

he's... He does it perfect in

1:28:01

rehearsal. Yes. And then they roll and suddenly he's

1:28:03

trying to impress the girl. Yeah. And he does

1:28:05

it completely differently. Yes, of course. And the scene

1:28:07

doesn't work. Yeah. But

1:28:10

it does answer the question, why are so many things

1:28:12

terrible? Because people

1:28:14

are really complicated. Yes.

1:28:17

You know, I did a multi-cam and we all

1:28:19

got along really, really well. And

1:28:22

Shy McBride who had been around and done a lot

1:28:24

of shows, he was like, I'm worried because

1:28:26

everyone loves it here. And he was

1:28:28

like, it's almost like there was a

1:28:31

superstition that it was too nice, too perfect.

1:28:33

He's like, all the great shows. I'm not

1:28:35

trying to get Raymond dirt. I'm just saying,

1:28:37

I'm not even implying, but he goes, all

1:28:40

the great shows, they

1:28:42

hated each other. He's like a lot

1:28:44

of the great. I can tell you it

1:28:46

was 90% beautiful. Heaven

1:28:50

on that trip. I believe that. It was beautiful. We

1:28:53

had a sign in the back. Be nice.

1:28:55

It was on the wall. Be nice. Be nice. That's

1:28:57

it. That's what I was telling me. If somebody wanted

1:28:59

to know what the values of the show were, that's

1:29:01

it. I wanted to show for families. Yeah. About

1:29:05

a family made by a

1:29:07

family. That's

1:29:09

very good. You know,

1:29:11

one of the key things in achieving that

1:29:13

was good food. Tell

1:29:16

me really good food had the best craft service

1:29:18

in town because I worked on a show. It

1:29:20

was actually kind of a hit show for

1:29:23

someone else and this show

1:29:25

was running six, seven years. And

1:29:27

one day we got a memo on

1:29:30

the company stationery. Big company. Big show.

1:29:34

We noticed some of you were coming in the morning and

1:29:36

putting milk on your cereal. The

1:29:39

milk is for coffee. The cereal

1:29:41

is for snacking. We

1:29:45

do not provide breakfast for you.

1:29:48

Please do not put milk on your cereal. And

1:29:51

right then and there I thought, wow, if

1:29:53

I'm ever lucky enough to have my own show,

1:29:56

we're going to have milk on the cereal. I

1:30:00

see you in like a Dickensian tuxedo. Like, I

1:30:02

promise you, milk on everyone cereal. Yeah, yes, that

1:30:04

is. So not only do we have milk on

1:30:06

the cereal, we had the best craft services down.

1:30:09

We ordered in Delhi from New

1:30:12

York. We ordered in Anne Sather's

1:30:14

Cinnamon Buns from Chicago. We'd

1:30:17

have food trucks before they were

1:30:19

popular, backstage on shoot night, taco

1:30:21

trucks. We had In-N-Out

1:30:23

Burger trucks. We had crab

1:30:26

claws from Florida once a year. Go

1:30:28

in the writer's room, cover the writer's room table

1:30:30

with newspaper, and crack the crabs with hammers from

1:30:32

the set. Wow, incredible.

1:30:36

Fun. Fun. The

1:30:38

army travels on its stomach. One of the best ways

1:30:40

to show people you care about them, other than be

1:30:42

nice, do good work, pay them

1:30:44

a living wage, you know? Feed them. Feed

1:30:47

them, that's love. Food is love.

1:30:49

Feed Phil somebody. Yes. Phil

1:30:52

feed somebody. Yes. I blew

1:30:54

it. Yes, but that's the connection.

1:30:56

That's a way to make the connection.

1:30:58

Yeah. Very good way. Love

1:31:01

it. Need it. Love every

1:31:03

part of this. Where were

1:31:05

we? Were there any missteps? Did you ever

1:31:07

try something? You're like, maybe I'm a tennis

1:31:09

guy. Ah! That's

1:31:13

never happened, because the sport's involved.

1:31:15

I think tennis is a sport, right? Yeah, no, not

1:31:17

for me. Yes, yes. Yes,

1:31:20

so when I decided, oh, I

1:31:22

think maybe instead of knocking my head against the wall

1:31:24

of this sitcom thing, that doesn't seem to exist anymore,

1:31:27

why don't I do this fantasy of having

1:31:29

the travel show? Yeah. And my

1:31:31

agents looked at me like I had lost my mind. And

1:31:34

it took 10 years to get

1:31:36

that show. And I tried other iterations of

1:31:38

it, and like,

1:31:40

for example, American Express heard

1:31:43

that I was interested, and they

1:31:45

said, would you go to a city

1:31:48

with a famous chef, and

1:31:50

then we'll film that? And I thought, oh, this'll be

1:31:52

a pilot for a show. It

1:31:55

wasn't. It was something

1:31:58

they were gonna use for their... Platinum

1:32:01

card members to watch little snippets

1:32:03

of this trip. In other words,

1:32:05

they were going to pay for a full trip with me and a

1:32:07

famous chef to London. We

1:32:09

were going to eat, and then we were going

1:32:11

to film it, and then the chef was going to recreate some

1:32:14

of the dishes that we had in London for

1:32:16

card members. And it

1:32:19

was worth it to them, and we would host the

1:32:21

dinner and then do a Q&A after the dinner about

1:32:23

our experience in London and all these great restaurants. Well,

1:32:26

I worked with a producer who booked us in 27 restaurants

1:32:28

in 7 days. And

1:32:31

because I was with the famous high-end

1:32:33

chef, they were all 3-star Michelin restaurants,

1:32:35

meaning 3 or 4-hour meals every meal.

1:32:39

I couldn't do it. At one point, I

1:32:41

broke down. I kind of got emotional. I can't

1:32:43

do it. I can't physically eat. And the guy

1:32:45

goes, I thought you're a professional. No,

1:32:47

I'm a human being. How much can I

1:32:49

eat? I can't do it. You know, when the food comes,

1:32:52

you want to be excited. You want to say, oh boy,

1:32:54

not oh no. I can't. I've been

1:32:56

in that situation where you're being overfed. That's

1:32:59

torture. Yeah, it's torture. So you're taking

1:33:01

the thing. It's like in Clockwork Orange. Oh, you

1:33:04

like sex and violence? What if we hold your

1:33:06

eyes open and you see nothing but that until

1:33:08

you can't anymore? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go to

1:33:10

The Simpsons. You like donuts. How about all the

1:33:12

donuts in the world? Except the joke is that

1:33:14

Homer loves it. He loves it.

1:33:16

He goes, more. They tried to Clockwork Orange

1:33:18

him. They tried to Clockwork Orange him. But they

1:33:20

created a monster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's why that

1:33:22

show is so funny. So

1:33:26

then I learned from that of what

1:33:28

not to do. And

1:33:30

that's why it looks like I'm excited to eat

1:33:32

on my show because I am. Because I didn't

1:33:34

eat that day until that scene

1:33:37

that day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I'm

1:33:39

thrilled that the food is coming and we

1:33:41

only film one or two food scenes a

1:33:43

day. Yeah. And that I

1:33:45

can eat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want

1:33:47

to be excited. The whole point is to get you to travel. I

1:33:49

want you to travel. So I want to show you the best stuff

1:33:51

and how fun it is. Yes. And

1:33:53

here's a four hour French meal that was

1:33:55

made with tweezers. Right.

1:33:59

And we're going to sit and... Analyze every is there

1:34:01

anything worse you know than being really really

1:34:03

hungry and in one of those restaurants that

1:34:05

like eats it out One

1:34:07

bite at a time. I feel like can I have

1:34:09

the bread now? I will write

1:34:11

for bring me bread. I hate you

1:34:14

It's torture. I hate this Listen,

1:34:17

we're talking about something that is an absolute

1:34:19

luxury to many many people who would kill

1:34:21

to do that once Yeah, I've been spoiled

1:34:23

rotten. I've gotten to do it more than

1:34:25

once Yeah to the point where I'd rather

1:34:28

have a hot dog I'd

1:34:30

rather have a great hot ball and

1:34:32

I three hour three hour thing. Yeah,

1:34:34

go get food Yeah, it was the

1:34:37

last time I was in Chicago. We did something like that

1:34:39

and then we went to Shake Shack Yeah, it

1:34:41

was incredible the Shake Shack was of course

1:34:43

it was There's

1:34:46

no price on delicious. There's no price on

1:34:48

delicious. Yes. Yes now all in all your

1:34:50

travels I have to imagine you've stayed in

1:34:52

some hotels and they're like this is the

1:34:55

most haunted place on earth There

1:34:57

was one hotel in Palm Springs

1:34:59

where I stayed where I felt

1:35:01

something So

1:35:03

creepy and weird that I had to

1:35:06

change hotels Have that

1:35:08

ever happened to you? No, it

1:35:10

was a weird feeling. I could barely

1:35:12

sleep I could get something happen. Was

1:35:14

there a triple murder in this room?

1:35:16

I don't know wait Walk

1:35:19

me through it. You check in the room. I

1:35:21

check in it's odd. The hotel is odd. This

1:35:23

is odd boutique Kinda

1:35:25

eat like yellow and white

1:35:28

the whole scheme is yellow and white and

1:35:30

Palm Springs to me no offense It's

1:35:33

all odd No,

1:35:37

yes, is it to you sure

1:35:39

what does your I don't

1:35:42

know if I've been I don't have a memory of

1:35:44

being in Palm I don't insult anybody it this is

1:35:46

everyone's personal everyone feels a certain way in certain places

1:35:49

The heat is crazy to me that everything is it's just

1:35:51

odd to me. It's a wild place. Yes. Yes

1:35:54

It's one of the most I'll say this is

1:35:56

a positive about Florida. You know, you're in Florida

1:36:00

And I think that's actually really cool. You see

1:36:02

a lot of leather cowboy hats. You see a

1:36:04

lot of like it's it's its own thing It's

1:36:07

a culture. It's a real culture as an

1:36:09

alligator on the driveway. That's what I mean.

1:36:11

It's a real place You don't I'm going

1:36:14

there Wednesday. I'm going. Yeah. Well, we Orlando

1:36:16

is spectacular. Yeah This

1:36:18

is the find of the season for me.

1:36:20

Yeah was Orlando. Yeah, you happen to see

1:36:22

that episode I didn't okay, so I want

1:36:24

you to see that because I thought going

1:36:26

to Orlando They're telling me the tourist board.

1:36:29

We have food from all over the world

1:36:31

and I'm like, yeah, yeah, and

1:36:33

so I go to Epcot and I'm

1:36:36

it's Disney World. Yeah, not

1:36:39

for me. Can I don't get me

1:36:41

started on why doesn't Disney? Make

1:36:43

the food good. I Think

1:36:47

I don't care. I don't need enough of it

1:36:49

to know but some people but some people I

1:36:51

think love it And I'd love

1:36:53

to have those people there are some good restaurants.

1:36:55

I think in some of the theme parks however,

1:36:57

I gone the moderator

1:36:59

for that night when I did the Speaking

1:37:03

engagement in Orlando was the food editor for

1:37:05

the Orlando Sentinel and she said you

1:37:07

don't go to Disney. No you go Disney

1:37:11

has been there 50 years and in those

1:37:13

50 years They've employed tens of thousands of

1:37:15

immigrants who all set up their own communities

1:37:17

around Orlando so it's like a mini LA

1:37:19

or New York and she took me around

1:37:21

the next day and Holy

1:37:24

crap is the food scene awesome

1:37:26

in Orlando. It's concentrated in this

1:37:29

smaller area, but

1:37:31

every Culture

1:37:33

represented well, and it's phenomenal.

1:37:35

I had Puerto

1:37:38

Rican Porchetta that

1:37:40

was better than anything. I hadn't it. Well, it

1:37:42

was spectacular the guy have a rat in his

1:37:44

hat. He didn't but

1:37:48

I know the reference we talked about

1:37:50

the other night but ending

1:37:53

to any movie yeah, um But

1:37:57

I get to say in that show yeah come to

1:37:59

Disney World your family have a lovely time but

1:38:01

the real magic kingdom is the

1:38:03

real world outside mmm and

1:38:05

that's America to me yeah yeah

1:38:08

so you check into the room oh

1:38:10

and Palm Springs yeah sorry I

1:38:13

got sidetracked I loved it Florida

1:38:15

thanks you I for

1:38:18

real you know how I try to explain

1:38:20

to you the other night about

1:38:22

this food that I had from the Palestinian lady

1:38:25

yeah then I could not explain it I have

1:38:27

a better I thought about it since please I

1:38:29

think I have a better answer for you all

1:38:31

right you want me to finish the Palm Springs thing then

1:38:33

we'll get to that okay you

1:38:37

check the whole place felt weird the room

1:38:39

was oddly shaped like too much space on

1:38:41

this side that was useless big

1:38:43

empty thing I'm alone hmm yellow

1:38:45

light odd almost

1:38:48

like seen on a

1:38:50

blue velvet mm-hmm that's how it feels to

1:38:52

me and I

1:38:54

could never settle in again

1:38:57

like this experience in a good way

1:38:59

with this woman in Dubai

1:39:02

I can't

1:39:04

explain the feeling yeah this is

1:39:06

why they're called unexplained phenomena yeah you

1:39:09

have an intuition it just

1:39:11

feels wrong yeah I

1:39:14

shouldn't be here get out yeah that's what

1:39:16

it it's coming from inside the

1:39:18

house that's what it was felt and

1:39:20

but you did try to go to sleep

1:39:22

yeah and in the night no

1:39:25

I got up the next morning I was gonna be there for three days and

1:39:28

I said I'm getting out of here that happened

1:39:30

to me in Chicago I was in a hotel and I

1:39:32

was like I hate there's it's just wrong it makes

1:39:35

you it'll make you believe hard in like Feng

1:39:37

Shui except there's something wrong yes the animal of

1:39:39

my mind uncomfortable and I couldn't point that almost

1:39:41

never happens but I'm like I gotta get the

1:39:44

fuck out of this happened one time in my

1:39:46

life that's the time mind I yeah me too

1:39:48