0:00

You made it weird, you made

0:02

it weird, you made it weird,

0:05

oh yeah You made

0:07

it weird, you made it weird, yes,

0:09

you did it, you made it weird,

0:11

oh yeah You made it weird with

0:14

Pete Holmes What's happening,

0:16

weirdos, my weirdos? Weirdos.

0:20

We're back together. It's not on Zoom, which I loved

0:22

it. Yeah. I loved this so much. I know, too.

0:24

I actually think this might have been one of our

0:26

best episodes ever. A really good one. I mean,

0:29

not to toot my own horn. Not to toot

0:31

my own. We did a great job. I

0:33

loved it. This was a classic. Yeah.

0:36

For those of you that are new to the

0:38

show, this is the Friday bonus episode where my

0:40

wife Val and I, or Val's husband Pete and

0:42

her, sit down

0:44

and we catch up. Yeah. And I love it. I look

0:47

forward to it and I'm so glad we did it and

0:49

I'm so glad you guys are here. So

0:51

thanks for tuning in. Go to

0:53

Pete Holmes dot com. You know, what

0:55

they're telling me tickets are slow for

0:58

is Largo June 1st. Really? We

1:00

think there might be some Netflix as a

1:02

joke fest fatigue. Oh my God. I

1:04

was going to say, is that seriously still going

1:06

on? No, no. No, it's not. I

1:08

think it's because people saw so many shows.

1:11

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. So many wonderful

1:13

weirdos came out and saw my show, for

1:15

example. Yeah. The Why Go to My Monthly

1:17

Show. Well, I try out new jokes and

1:20

it's always amazing. Judd Apatow and Utsco. What's

1:22

Utsco's last name? Utsco. I've

1:24

seen it spelled, but I don't know it. Utsco.

1:27

But the only the only comedian named Utsco, I

1:30

think. Yeah. She's going to be

1:32

there. Judd's going to be there. Music.

1:34

It's going to be awesome. Yeah, it's

1:36

going to be great. And it's Largo. Largo's the best.

1:38

Go to Largo dash la.com for that and

1:40

Pete holmes.com for everything else. I'm going to

1:43

be in Houston and Pennsylvania. Check

1:46

it out. Pete Holmes dot com. And if

1:48

you like the show, this is sincerely true.

1:50

We only do ads for things that we

1:52

actually use and actually love. So try Pete's

1:55

pick supports the show. Keeps the

1:57

lights on, as they say. But it's also stuff I

1:59

genuinely like. So I hope you like it too. Katie, roll

2:02

that beautiful bean footage. This episode is

2:04

brought to us by our friends at

2:06

Modern Mammals. You guys know I hate

2:08

shampoo and I love modern mammals. It's

2:10

the non-shampoo shampoo that cleans your hair

2:12

like shampoo but won't dry it out

2:14

like shampoo. Shampoo. Meaning,

2:17

for years, my strategy to look great

2:19

for live TV appearances, shows, was just

2:21

not to wash my hair until one

2:23

day my hairdresser cat was like, your

2:25

hair is disgusting. It's like running a

2:28

comb through wet cement. Always

2:30

clean your hair. And modern mammals is

2:32

what that is. Modern mammals is the solution. It's

2:35

like your hair was, it looks like

2:37

it was, only cleaner. Meaning it leaves

2:39

just the right amount of natural oil

2:41

in your hair to make it look

2:43

perfect. Not all poofy and fried out

2:45

and dried up like normal shampoo. So

2:47

that's why I call it a non-shampoo.

2:49

It's a secret weapon. Now, if

2:51

I want my hair to look great, I

2:53

clean it, I wash it with modern mammals

2:55

that day and it looks perfect. It's

2:58

just got the right amount of hold, it's got the

3:00

right structure and it's got that wave. So

3:02

it is amazing. It is a game changer.

3:04

It is the only shampoo

3:06

that I use. Over 40,000 guys have

3:08

switched to this instead of traditional shampoo.

3:11

You got to see the reviews for

3:13

this product. Once people try it,

3:15

they never go back. I am definitely one of

3:17

those people I am hooked for

3:19

life and it is a small punk rock

3:21

grassroots company and I love the people that

3:23

I'm working with over there. You guys were

3:25

just fed up with shampoo, frying their hair

3:27

and set out to make a shampoo that

3:29

guys would actually use and actually like specifically

3:32

for dudes. They have bars

3:34

which are the no plastic version which are

3:36

no fragrance as well or the bottles which

3:39

is the magic mud that I love as

3:41

well. I love both of them. The bars

3:43

are really easy to travel with. We're talking

3:45

about six seconds a day. They have perfect

3:48

hair. Go to modernmammals.com/weird where people can get

3:50

a special combo deal and try both products,

3:52

the bar and the bottle for 44 bucks.

3:55

That's modernmammals.com/weird. We're also brought

3:57

to us by our friends.

3:59

at Exploding Kittens. I

4:02

didn't misspeak. We're brought to you

4:04

by Exploding Kittens, the makers

4:06

of the best board and family games

4:08

that I have ever found, meaning we

4:10

were having a really hard time getting

4:13

our daughter to eat dinner at the

4:15

table until we found Exploding Kittens, which

4:17

is the perfect screen-free time to

4:20

spend with your children. Maybe your

4:22

kids, like mine, too young to

4:24

appreciate stand-up comedy or the teachings

4:26

of Ram Dass. Kitten

4:28

games, a line of games made especially for

4:30

kids, for the people behind the

4:33

best-selling game Exploding Kittens. These games are simple

4:35

to learn and fun to play, even if

4:37

you're a grown-up. I can attest to that.

4:39

We love playing the best worst ice cream.

4:42

The best worst ice cream puts kids to

4:44

work, matching delightfully disgusting ice cream flavors while

4:46

secretly learning a little bit about strategy, critical

4:48

thinking, and pattern recognition. It's

4:50

also a low-key lesson about the

4:53

dangers, I would say, of gambling, which

4:55

they might need later in life, you never know. What

4:58

I do know is that it keeps Leela busy and

5:00

keeps everyone laughing. We also love My

5:02

Parents Might Be Martians, which is like

5:04

a kids' version of $100,000 Pyramid. I absolutely

5:06

love it. So get

5:08

into it. Every

5:10

game in the Kitten game line was

5:12

designed by a four-year-old and her dad,

5:14

so you know it's kid-tested and kid-approved.

5:17

Go to explodingkittens.com and use

5:20

code WEIRD to get 25%

5:22

off. That's weird.

5:25

Check out explodingkittens.com. All

5:28

right, everybody, so glad you're here. Valerie? Get

5:31

into it. Dum-dum.

5:35

I thought we were going to sigh. I was

5:37

taking a breath to sing. Dum-dum,

5:39

why are you

5:41

following me? I

5:44

ain't got a crumb, dawg.

5:47

Please won't you let me be?

5:52

You know who isn't a dumb dog?

5:55

Bo. Our dog, Bo. He's a very smart dog.

5:57

I forgot to tell you this. I got him

5:59

like... a little pad or it's

6:02

like a puzzle. Yeah,

6:05

I saw the puzzle. Yeah, where you put treats

6:08

and it's pretty complicated. Like

6:10

some you have to lift up, open

6:13

a container, some you have to

6:16

slide forward. Yeah. It's like,

6:19

there's a whole piece that you have to remove and

6:21

you put treats in all these different compartments. And I

6:23

was like, this is great, because

6:25

he's smart and he's bored. He's

6:28

like a gifted student. I

6:30

think he's acting out because he's a

6:32

brilliant genius. Yeah, I really think he is.

6:35

And now I'm certainly convinced because I gave

6:37

it to him thinking like, this will last

6:40

him the day. And

6:42

he just in front of my eyes, having

6:44

never seen it before, he just

6:46

flipped things open, slide them over,

6:48

got it like, he did it

6:50

so fast. It was like, goodwill

6:52

hunting. And then he just,

6:55

later I just saw like the

6:57

whole puzzle, just

6:59

like in his pile of demolished

7:02

toys. I saw, that's, I

7:04

sort of knew the punch line because I

7:06

saw that toy wrecked. Yeah.

7:09

He is, yeah, I think about this,

7:11

I was thinking about Beau as I was setting

7:13

up these cushions and how

7:15

Brody, I'll write peace, used

7:18

to scare the hell out of us or me

7:20

and Bark. And that was like a consideration when

7:22

we were doing this podcast. And

7:24

now it's not. Yeah. And I

7:27

think that's really cool. I know I said this already, but like, sometimes

7:31

I'm just so like, to

7:34

be funny, I'll say over Pete, like I'm so

7:36

bored with Pete. That's not how I feel. I

7:38

feel wonderful right now. I just

7:40

mean like, yeah, the dog is smart

7:42

and handsome. And Pete thinks

7:44

that's cool. Like it's just

7:46

like, you catch yourself being so

7:48

obvious. Well. Like he's good looking

7:52

and brilliant. And I'm like, he's all

7:54

right. Like he ripped up a plant

7:56

in the yard. Like there's not

7:58

enough shit for him to destroy. Troy.

8:01

The joke is I just got my dog

8:04

a chew toy. He loves it. It was

8:06

a little pricey. It's a hammock. You

8:08

know what I mean? That's the joke.

8:10

He goes ape shit. He goes dog

8:12

shit on

8:16

anything you leave out. Right.

8:19

We just forgive him of all of his sins.

8:22

Because he's good looking. It's like living with Dwayne

8:24

the Rock Johnson. I know I've said this before

8:26

but it's like he's just a

8:28

specimen. I know. I just watched

8:30

this thing, Sylvester Stallone.

8:33

It's called Sly. It's on netflix.com.

8:36

So go to your internet

8:38

explorer and type in www.netsl. Oh

8:42

my God. Sign up. I'm

8:45

assuming you guys aren't on there. But

8:47

anyway, it's called Sly and he talks

8:49

about and in the Arnold documentary he

8:51

talks about this too. But like

8:53

they're just kind of talking very frankly about

8:55

like action movies were big but

8:57

once muscle-y guys started doing it

9:01

and Arnold was like I want to

9:03

get my muscles in there. People want

9:05

to see it. And it's like we're

9:08

so fucking dull. We're dull-er. We're

9:10

just like show me a shiny

9:12

body shooting an arrow. And

9:15

I'm not saying I'm not. I'm saying I totally

9:18

am. I'm like look at that. Look

9:21

at that arm. Is this

9:23

why you wanted to watch Rocky out of

9:26

the blue? No, I wanted to

9:28

watch Rocky. Yes, certainly. Because you

9:30

watch that documentary. Watching that documentary makes you

9:32

want to watch Rocky. And then you realize

9:34

in the first five minutes of Rocky that

9:37

movies were so different than the seventies. I

9:41

was so relieved that

9:43

you were having the same response to it as

9:46

I was. What have you looked over and I was

9:48

just breathless. I think that's most

9:51

wives experience. And

9:53

not to say that all boys like Rocky and

9:55

all girls don't. But like. Is

10:00

that true? Because that's in

10:02

my experience. My brother used to... Well, I'm sure

10:04

if we went in, we would have liked it.

10:06

And I've seen Rocky and you've seen Rocky and I loved

10:08

it, but like, it's what

10:11

the world... The world is changed. Yeah.

10:14

I like... My memory

10:16

of it is that is my brother wanting to

10:18

watch it and loving it

10:21

and me clinging so

10:23

desperately, like coming to life anytime

10:25

Adrian was on the screen. And

10:28

it was like just about love for a

10:30

minute. And you said that, which is what

10:33

all men say. That he said in the movie that it's

10:35

a love story. Yeah. And you

10:37

were like, no, it's a love story. And I didn't say

10:39

it then, but I was like, yeah. And Die Hard is

10:41

a Christmas movie. Like this is what all of

10:43

the boys say. You're so good. That's

10:46

my Christmas movie. Deck

10:49

the halls, suck my balls. But

10:54

because we are, you know, half

10:58

a half man and

11:00

wife and half just like a couple

11:02

of girlfriends on a couch. I

11:04

thought about that. We watched it for five minutes

11:06

and you were like, okay,

11:08

yeah, this is not. Well, you

11:10

know, I'll say, yes, I have

11:13

a lot of feelings. I do

11:15

want to get to this other point that Sylvester Stallone made

11:17

in the movie. So I'm going to try to put that

11:20

over here. Okay. And go

11:22

back to this point that I'm making now.

11:25

Okay. Good job. Thank

11:27

you. Thank you for giving us the play by

11:29

play of the inner workings of your

11:31

mind. Totally unnecessary. And by the time I

11:33

was finished explaining the inner workings of my

11:35

mind, most of those inner workings were gone.

11:38

They were just, they scattered. They were like,

11:40

don't talk about us. And they left. And

11:43

they left. Beautiful, beautiful world. You're going to forget.

11:45

You've got two things. All right. In

11:48

the seventies, and this is true of,

11:50

I'm going to say it, shots fired

11:53

every movie from the seventies was, it's

11:56

like a walk. What

11:58

we're doing now. with the

12:01

YouTube and the TikTok and also

12:03

just modern movies. Like

12:06

I watch Unfrosted, I think we've talked about it.

12:09

Many times it's come up a lot. I

12:11

hate when I buy into a marketing frenzy,

12:14

but here we are talking about Unfrosted.

12:17

Unfrosted, which I did find funny, was

12:21

a modern movie, was a modern, specifically

12:24

like streamer movie, where

12:27

I heard people complimenting it for

12:30

your inability to turn it off. And

12:32

I'm not shitting on it, but that's

12:34

how we talk about it. It's like,

12:37

I kept watching it. Like that's the

12:39

compliment. It kept my attention, which

12:41

is pretty impossible. And

12:43

that's the thing, those movies, I remember

12:45

watching Breakfast at Tiffany's when I was

12:47

like 17 and I was like, I'm

12:49

gonna love this movie, everybody

12:52

does. I love Audrey Hepburn,

12:55

it's so stylish. There'll be a big

12:57

identity boost if you're the girl that loves it. Yeah,

12:59

totally. You're like, I love that movie.

13:02

Yeah, you're like, I would love to just

13:04

put this into my identity really quick. And

13:07

I was just like, there's

13:10

no editing, it feels like. That's

13:13

how Rocky felt. We watched

13:15

the first 10 minutes, maybe.

13:17

Right, but you're just like, every

13:19

shot is so, every scene

13:21

is too long. All the

13:23

shots are really slow. And then I

13:25

think it is because we have shorter

13:27

attention plans. It is. But

13:29

it's also like, you know how Twitter is like, all

13:31

right, you have to do it in 140 words. So

13:35

be clever. Characters. Characters,

13:38

okay. Was that necessary?

13:40

No. You're right, letters. I

13:43

did it honestly out of a, I wanna protect

13:45

you. I know you know. Yes, yeah, yeah. So

13:47

I was just gonna say characters. I didn't think

13:49

we'd step it out, but here we are. Yeah,

13:51

no, you're right. I really did not to correct

13:53

you. It wasn't like an 18 items or fewer

13:55

moment. It was like, I'll just say this and

13:57

we'll all be better for it. Yeah, you're right.

13:59

All right. no editing. And like

14:01

so you have to be kind of

14:03

smart and discerning and elegant and like

14:06

you know. Oh when you're restricted.

14:08

Yeah and so I do

14:10

I think it's like two sides

14:12

of a coin where it's like on one

14:15

hand yes we are dopes

14:17

and we're just like it kept my

14:19

attention by like you know every action

14:22

movie now has to start with an

14:25

action sequence. Yep this comes

14:27

up a lot that I believe it's just

14:30

known. Yeah that it's like in

14:33

fact if the script doesn't have an action

14:35

sequence at the beginning the editors will just

14:37

make it that way. Right. Like there isn't

14:39

it wasn't in the script that it was

14:41

like a flashback to the best part of

14:44

the movie. Yeah. They'll workshop it. Yeah. They'll

14:46

show it to audiences. They love that scene

14:48

the most. We'll start with that scene. Yeah.

14:50

And then see it again. Yeah. When it

14:52

happened. But then just when

14:54

you shoot a movie nowadays you just get lots of

14:56

footage of the lead actor waking up. Yeah. So you

14:59

can just put in whatever the best part of the

15:01

movie is that's what he was dreaming of. Oh

15:03

yeah. Oh he's a prophet. We

15:06

didn't know but he has he has clairvoyancy and

15:08

he knows where the movie is going. Because that's

15:10

how we are. And in Rocky to finish go

15:13

ahead. Well so that's one side of it

15:15

is that we're dopes and we need you

15:18

know it's stimulation constantly. But the

15:20

other side is that we won't

15:23

stand for long movies very

15:25

often. So you have to make

15:28

an elegance you know

15:31

very like a

15:33

movie where every scene matters.

15:35

You're not like wasting people's

15:37

time. And maybe people people

15:39

who really love films might

15:42

hate that. But no. Well

15:44

no we're really we're right in my pipe

15:46

tobacco if you know what I'm saying. And

15:48

I'm looking at my bookshelf. I'm looking yeah

15:50

there's four arguments for the elimination of television.

15:53

One of my favorite books they talk about the

15:56

medium is the message that's one of the the

15:59

clip. note of that book is the medium

16:01

is the message meaning television can

16:04

only tell a certain kind of story. It's one

16:06

of my favorite points about it. I'll make it

16:08

real fast. It's like walking is

16:10

a certain type of medium and

16:13

then once we started riding bikes you

16:15

just you're looking at the world differently now

16:17

you're on a bike. Right. So you don't

16:19

spend as much time with that oak tree

16:22

that's in your front yard because you zipped

16:24

past it. Then he goes then there's cars

16:27

and then there's like airplanes. Now you're way up

16:29

there or whatever it might be. Yeah. It's funny

16:31

that once you get to like trains, trains are

16:33

where you look out the window and kind of

16:35

drift. Yeah but you're not seeing anything

16:38

specific. Yeah. It's more of a

16:40

flood. Trains are the tick-tock of

16:42

moving. Yeah. It's like it's constantly

16:44

changing. The windows are swiping. You

16:46

are so good. Yeah

16:48

the windows are swiping. Just scrolling through

16:51

this landscape real quick. Yeah you're scrolling.

16:53

That's what it is. And a walk

16:55

is like the opposite. So yeah in

16:58

the same way I'm so with you

17:00

I have an appreciation for the way

17:02

that modern movies cinema

17:04

can go like okay this is just

17:06

what we're working with. We're

17:08

stimulated to this extent now. And

17:11

in the 70s like I don't know

17:13

much about the 70s I wasn't alive but I

17:15

think most days like for four hours

17:17

you'd be looking for a book of

17:19

matches. I think like that was most

17:21

like a nickel fell in the couch and

17:24

you looked for it. Like

17:26

I think there's a nickel in here and

17:28

then you find a bottle cap and that's

17:30

like a story you tell someone and then

17:33

I thought I found it. It's a bottle

17:35

cap. And like people are laughing. That's so

17:37

true. Dinners were long and boring and

17:40

the food was bad and I'm gonna

17:42

say it people weren't as attractive. Yeah.

17:44

It's not it's not my observation. Colin

17:46

Quinn has a bit about how people

17:48

are just getting better looking and it

17:50

is so true. Yeah. Look at these

17:52

mongrels. Oh is

17:54

that not an okay word? I don't know. You're

17:56

thinking mongoloid. I'm not trying to be funny. You

17:59

reacted as if... Oh no! Oh

18:01

no! Is this an edit? No,

18:03

because we're not... I'm not using it.

18:06

I'm saying... Mongrel is okay. Okay.

18:09

Isn't it? I feel like we've talked about

18:11

this on the podcast before. Mongrel? I don't know what

18:13

it means. All right, we're getting good at it. It

18:15

just sounds bad. No, I

18:17

know. Idiot is mongrel.

18:21

Mongrel... I didn't even know how to spell it. Any

18:24

animal resulting from the crossing

18:26

of different breeds. What?

18:29

It's not okay. That is not

18:31

good. I take

18:34

it back. I

18:37

take it back so hard. I

18:41

didn't know. I thought I just meant nincompoop. When

18:45

you look up a word and you

18:47

realize like the past was... It's

18:49

like Annie, like when you started with Annie. Yeah. When

18:52

we watched Annie, I'm not trying to get off of

18:54

this huge boner that I pulled. I'm not saying mongrel

18:56

anymore. I'm so sorry. But a learning moment. Yeah,

18:59

in real time. I feel

19:01

fine about it. Yeah, we're learning.

19:03

We're growing every day. But

19:05

when we watched Annie with Leela, obviously

19:08

it was like Annie Jr. It was like a trimmed down

19:10

version. But we've been listening to the

19:12

soundtrack. I know we've covered this. It's

19:14

all like, shut up, idiot. Oh, I

19:17

know. It's so rough. And

19:20

they are supposed to be rough because I guess if you

19:22

don't have parents, you're just

19:24

like very rough. Supposedly, yeah, that's

19:26

the hard knock life, not a hard knock life. The

19:28

hard knock life. Also

19:30

remember when we saw the... Okay,

19:33

so this all started because we... I

19:35

won't get into this too much, but

19:37

we saw a kid's performance of Annie.

19:40

And Leela was like so

19:42

enthralled. And I got really excited because I

19:44

loved Annie growing up. And now it's like

19:46

Annie all the time. But

19:50

remember when they were singing

19:52

tomorrow, they said, you're

19:54

always a day away. Every

19:57

time. Every time. We

19:59

were so close. You and I were going crazy. It's

20:01

only a day away. Yeah. And then the last time

20:03

you say always a day away If

20:06

you're even gonna say it if you're even

20:08

gonna say it may be a punchline of

20:10

it It's like and guess what? It's always

20:12

a day away, but you the song is

20:14

it's only a day away, right? Yeah,

20:16

I think I'm sure there are people

20:18

who are yelling at their radios, but that's not where

20:20

we are We

20:23

don't live there is Pre-recorded

20:26

you can't stop me from making

20:28

the mongrel mistake It's

20:30

only all wish we could printed

20:34

but So like maybe there

20:36

is something to like well actually the

20:39

original play is only but the latest

20:41

movie is Oh Eric, but then we listen to

20:43

the soundtrack and it is only a day away the the

20:45

original like Carol Burnett version

20:47

Which is the version minted.

20:50

That's the one that's the

20:52

cannon Anyway, can I say

20:54

this going back to what we were saying about boring

20:56

shit? Looking for

20:58

the bottle cap and that's a story and then you

21:00

go to the movies I When

21:03

I was watching rocky and again guys, please don't misunderstand Rocky's

21:07

a great movie But it

21:10

does open with a side scroll of

21:12

the word rocky in you know full

21:15

Papa Papa Papa Papa Papa and it's scrolling by and

21:17

you're like, oh My

21:19

god here we go and

21:22

then it opens and he's like a out of

21:25

shape This is all

21:27

good by the way. Yeah out of

21:29

shape fighter like in a in a

21:31

like a basement fight Yeah, it's beneath

21:33

him. He's not training. He has no

21:35

passion which brings me to the second

21:37

reason I wanted to watch it. I

21:39

wanted an inspiring movie. Okay, by the

21:42

way, though I didn't remember that and I

21:44

did not get that from that first fight

21:47

They're literally throwing trash on the on

21:49

the in the ring and calling them

21:51

bums Yeah, but

21:53

I didn't get that he's like out of

21:56

shape he's out of shape the

21:58

whole he's not I mean,

22:00

he's clearly in shape. He's got a killer

22:02

body. Yeah. And

22:05

I also thought that they're just fine with

22:08

it. Well, he does. Killer body. Yeah. No,

22:10

I know. But something about how I didn't

22:12

have to say it, I don't know. Made

22:14

me laugh. He's got a rocking body. But

22:16

he's putting his hand out. Maybe, look, I'm

22:18

not trying to be funny. Maybe you know

22:20

nothing about boxing, but if a guy is

22:23

slumped, shouldered and holding his hand out, like,

22:25

like keeping distance between him

22:27

and the other boxer, that's

22:29

bad form. I definitely didn't know

22:31

that. I also didn't know that

22:34

they don't just throw garbage at every

22:36

boxing rink. That could have been a

22:38

professional thing. I'm

22:41

saying. So you're thinking of the

22:43

WWE, like that's where there's like

22:45

wrestling and booing. Jears. Jears is

22:47

a big part. People go

22:49

to WWE for the Jears. A hundred

22:52

percent. Jears is like 5% of it.

22:54

Jears is 95% of it. Yeah. But

22:57

in a boxing match, these people are mad.

22:59

And remember somebody asked him, they go, Hey,

23:01

Rach, you feel strong? You're going to make

23:03

this a third round? He's like talking to

23:05

him. He's like, yeah. And remember, we also

23:07

couldn't hear what they were saying. Subtitles on.

23:09

And this is not a Sylvester Stallone

23:11

joke. No one knew what anyone was

23:13

saying. It was just like, I don't remember. It

23:17

does have a richness. The whole thing sounds like

23:20

it was recorded straight to vinyl. Like it's like

23:22

a very. Yeah. But

23:24

it also sounds like nobody. Well,

23:28

dude, okay. So again, to your

23:30

point, watch Creed, which

23:32

I'm sure I'm assuming you haven't seen. These

23:34

are things I watch when

23:37

I'm alone. Yeah. On airplanes and

23:39

stuff. I bet I would like Creed though. You'd

23:41

love Creed. First of all, Michael B. Jordan, Michael

23:43

B. Michael

23:46

B. Okay.

23:48

Michael B. Horny. Yeah.

23:51

Michael B. Make me horny. Is this real?

23:53

I love Michael B. Michael B. Michael B.

23:56

J. And I feel

23:59

like they're jokes. You guys can make

24:01

them in your cars. And if you're not in your

24:03

car, don't make it. It's not

24:05

worth it. But

24:08

anyway, in Creed, you're always starting

24:10

with something like it's like

24:12

an attention-grabber. Here's what

24:14

I'm trying to say. Nowadays,

24:17

movies and TV are like public speaking and you

24:20

get up and you want to start with like,

24:23

By the end of this talk, four of you will be dead.

24:25

Yeah, everyone's like, but in

24:28

the 70s it was like, oh someone's

24:30

talking? I

24:36

know. Someone will be like, oh, I got

24:39

two crackers and I'm only gonna eat one. And

24:41

people are like, I guess I'll listen to this

24:43

guy. I know. Like the

24:45

thing is, is I'm sure somebody could

24:47

make a compelling argument. Like you

24:50

have to, oh, are you about to? I

24:52

was gonna say Rocky was very hard to get

24:54

made. I'm not saying they were making anything. I'm

24:57

saying there was more, you know, I

24:59

feel the same way about music. There was a time that if

25:01

you were just like, You

25:06

were the first one. Now that thing that

25:09

I just, let's call it what it was, I

25:11

scattered it. I was scatting.

25:15

Okay. That has been

25:17

in a thousand songs, you know. There's just

25:19

a great time of life where you could

25:21

say like sunshine on my shoulders makes me

25:24

happy and people like, buddy, we got ourselves

25:26

a hit. Okay, this actually does. Is

25:32

that not okay? I

25:35

can't say what a man, a black

25:37

man pretending to be an old black

25:39

woman said to a heavier

25:41

young black man. Is

25:44

that? Are you? Can

25:46

you even say that anymore? Pretend

25:49

to be Eddie Murphy pretending to be an old

25:52

black grandmother. I'm

25:57

just saying, wait, like he's a heavy,

25:59

like, heavier. Okay.

26:01

I'm not saying

26:05

heavy. You're making it so much worse.

26:08

If you could picture Michael Scott

26:10

doing it and everybody being like,

26:12

Oh, I

26:14

don't know. I think Hercules Hercules

26:16

is still on the menu towards

26:19

the back of the menu. It's

26:22

after the desserts. It's after

26:24

the aperitif, but here it is

26:27

Hercules Hercules. I don't know. All

26:29

right. Then I've retired two things

26:31

live on air. This is why

26:33

you tune in. This

26:35

is why you join us. Oh

26:38

my God. Okay. So you

26:42

did the hand. I, but I was just

26:44

clapping. You were clapping in a way that

26:46

I know you're my wife. I

26:49

knew you were thinking Hercules. I know

26:51

you think I don't know when my

26:53

own wife is thinking, you think I

26:55

don't know when she's thinking Hercules Hercules?

26:57

I wasn't. I swear. Okay.

27:00

But this kind of goes back

27:02

to Bo, back to Bo, uh,

27:04

like, and you know, being rubes

27:09

and interested in like

27:12

achievers, because there's also

27:14

people, it almost is like,

27:16

you know, people are like, there are two types of people

27:18

in the world. And you're like, okay, fine. Of course, there

27:21

aren't just two types of people, but there,

27:24

it does seem like there's like, you're, we're

27:26

either very into achievers and success or we're

27:28

into underdogs. And this feels like it comes

27:31

up a lot in baseball. I want to

27:33

say, I don't know what I'm talking about,

27:35

but you're like, oh, the Yankees have

27:38

the money. Yeah, exactly. Um,

27:41

and I think that,

27:44

oh, what was the connection? Oh yes. So

27:47

I could see real big

27:49

film buffs being like, it's

27:52

interesting and good to watch. Like old

27:54

movies were better because they didn't have

27:56

all the fancy equipment

27:58

and the access. to like everything

28:01

and they, you know, it's

28:03

like, it's truer because they had to

28:05

be really scrappy and resourceful and that's

28:07

the underdogs. Yes. But we're also being

28:10

like, yeah, but this

28:12

is like, we have more resources.

28:14

So the movies are better now. I'm

28:16

not trying to be funny by jumping to

28:18

sex, but I think it bears it like

28:21

a night of, I think it's this,

28:24

of a date and there's

28:26

tension and your legs touch

28:28

under the table just for a second and

28:30

your heart rate jacks. I know this is

28:32

your ball of wax right here. My eyes

28:34

are wide. And there's a moment where you

28:36

go to the bathroom and you

28:38

didn't even have to go, but you just wanted a moment

28:40

to be like, what is happening? I

28:43

can't believe this is her. And

28:47

you call your friend and say, don't call me and say,

28:50

I have to be because it's going great.

28:53

He's like, I love the sound of your voice right now. Don't

28:55

think about it. Don't think about it. Get back

28:58

in there. Okay. I'm just saying,

29:00

and then you make love. I

29:03

know making love is the grossest term, but

29:05

I'm just saying there's that.

29:08

There's the slow undress and

29:10

there's the candles, all of

29:12

that. But I

29:14

mean, that's, it's not just

29:16

rocky. I'm thinking about Don't

29:18

Look Now, the horror movie, Donald

29:21

Sutherland. The punchline of Don't

29:23

Look Now, if you don't want the movie Don't

29:25

Look Now from 1976 spoiled, please

29:29

skip forward one, not even

29:31

one minute, 30 seconds. I'll wait. I'll

29:34

wait. You're driving. Be safe. All

29:37

right. I'm going to spoil it. The punchline

29:39

of the horror movie Don't Look Now is the whole movie. He feels

29:41

like something's chasing him and eventually he goes

29:43

into an alley and it's cornered and the thing turns

29:45

around and it's just a goblin. It's just like a

29:48

green faced goblin. But the

29:50

movie draws it out so

29:52

long that that reveal is

29:54

chilling. Right. It's

29:57

unbelievably disturbing. Yeah. And

29:59

now we're in a world. where it's like, you

30:01

see these trailers, first of all, fuck

30:03

you for putting these

30:05

trailers for hardcore horror movies in

30:08

front of a comedy? Like eat

30:10

fucking shit, no one wanted to

30:12

see that. I hate it,

30:15

sucks ass, and they're all the

30:17

same. You don't have

30:19

eyes, fuck you. Fuck you. Oh,

30:22

were you in the basement? Eat

30:24

shit. I feel like people who like

30:26

horror films like to

30:28

be surprised. So who are those

30:31

trailers for? They're gonna see the horror

30:33

film, and they wanna be

30:35

surprised. That's exactly right, because I'm not

30:37

trying to put down horror or pornography.

30:40

It's just like, come get off with

30:43

this, and we're gonna do it more extreme. Same thing

30:45

you'd say about a porn, you'd say about a horror

30:47

movie, and they're like, at the end it's one guy

30:49

and eight ghouls. You know what

30:51

I mean? It's an eight way. It's either

30:53

eight girls or eight ghouls. Yeah,

30:55

ghouls, ghouls, ghouls. And

30:58

they're eating his ass, but not in the way

31:01

he wants. You know what I mean? Yes. So

31:03

what I'm saying is, the movies from the 70s

31:05

were, you

31:08

know, this is back to the medium of the

31:11

message, the walk that you take that changes your

31:13

life, or the book that you sink into. And

31:16

so many of us, I think, are yearning

31:18

for the experience of like, I put on

31:20

a record, and listen to the record, or

31:22

I cracked a book, and there was nothing

31:24

else to do. My phone wasn't even in

31:26

the room. These

31:28

things are products of a time, and

31:31

now that I'm older, I can appreciate that

31:33

people know, like the Creed movies, open

31:36

with something big, something splashy, tell me

31:38

what this character wants, tell

31:40

me what's in his way, tell me what does he

31:42

do. I'm writing a movie

31:44

right now, and I'm trying to hit

31:46

this out of the park, page one. What's

31:48

this guy's problem? What does he

31:51

want? What's in the way of

31:53

what he wants? Then there's the secondary,

31:55

what does he do? Because that's so

31:57

big in our culture. Who

31:59

or is it? friends and

32:01

is he likable? Is he funny? Is

32:03

there something we enjoy about him? You

32:06

got to nail all this in the

32:08

first 10 pages. And in Rocky, they're

32:10

just like, I'm remembering what it felt

32:12

like to go to the movies even in

32:14

the 90s and

32:16

they were slower. There was so

32:18

much more time to settle in

32:20

and it's inviting

32:23

you into a trance. Right. So

32:25

he is... To really enter the world

32:28

of this. Yes. And to project yourself

32:30

onto him going like, oh man,

32:32

I thought Rocky was going to be great.

32:35

And people are coming in from taking shits, they're

32:37

late. Yeah, I think I'm

32:39

full of shit because I just

32:42

don't care about the subject

32:44

matter because Annie is

32:47

probably around the same time, was made

32:49

around the same time. And

32:52

I love that movie and I think

32:54

it's a perfect film and it's slow.

32:56

And I love broadcast news. No,

32:59

what's the other one? Network. Yeah. Network

33:01

is, you have to fight through the beginning of

33:04

network though too. Yeah, but I love it.

33:06

If Network started, if they re-released Network,

33:08

it would start on the day the

33:11

anchor snaps on the air. Right.

33:14

That would be the moment. And then it would

33:16

say three weeks earlier. Yeah, that's true. And then

33:18

it would show him going into work and all

33:20

that sort of stuff. And

33:22

like Tootsie, which I don't know if

33:24

people are called on Tootsie, I

33:27

really don't know. But

33:29

it would start, he's going

33:31

to dress up like a woman a

33:33

lot faster. Yeah, totally. And that's, these

33:35

are the ABCs, baby. Yeah. So

33:38

when it is a movie I'm

33:40

interested in, I don't mind that

33:42

it's slower. Yeah. So

33:45

that's not fair. No, I

33:47

agree. I also think your point about underdogs

33:49

or winners, it's the same thing because the

33:51

underdogs always win. It's like where are

33:53

you starting? It's all winning. That's what you want. You

33:56

do, yeah, that's how you get both. Yeah,

33:58

that's how you get both. Like you won an honor. unlikely

34:00

winner and a non-presuming

34:03

winner. I'm gonna, whimmer? Whimmer. The

34:05

thing, David Schwimmer, the thing that I was gonna

34:07

say was, oh, I

34:09

was really excited. Sometimes I say something to you and

34:12

I'm like, oh, I gotta remember to say that on

34:14

the podcast. And it was this, is

34:16

we were in the

34:18

car and I said, all I do

34:22

is study non-duality, which

34:25

is saying that the universe isn't what

34:27

it appears to be or the world doesn't exist. And

34:30

then when I'm not doing that, I'm

34:33

watching YouTube videos about how AI is coming

34:35

for us all. And I was like, and

34:37

I'm still going around like, why am I

34:39

in the dumps? I

34:41

know. It was

34:43

also so funny because we were literally pulling

34:45

up and I was gonna jump out of

34:48

the car to go and

34:50

get Leela. And you just said this

34:52

really funny, Yeah, I saw

34:54

myself for a second. Sort of like significant, yeah,

34:56

observation about yourself right as I was

34:58

leaving. And it made me laugh really

35:00

hard. It made me laugh really hard too. And

35:02

it was almost like my narrator showed up. It

35:05

was like, don't you see? This is all you

35:07

do. And I do think I have

35:09

to cool it on the AI videos. I fool myself.

35:11

You know how I can be really hard on people

35:13

that watch the news constantly? I'm like,

35:15

what are you doing? Yeah. A lot

35:18

of this information is gonna change. You don't have to

35:20

get minute by minute updates. You can check in every

35:22

once in a while. But that's definitely how I am

35:24

on AI. I am interested

35:27

in it. And I trick myself

35:29

into thinking that I'm bettering myself

35:32

when really it's just titillation.

35:34

It's just titillation. Which by

35:37

the way, I think it

35:39

only bolsters my point about

35:41

the news is I'm like, you're tricking

35:43

yourself thinking you're involved or like it

35:45

matters. But I've always had

35:47

that looking down my nose. Now I'm like, oh,

35:49

I'm doing the same shit. I'm doing that with

35:51

AI news. Yeah, no, that's really true.

35:55

I hadn't thought of that before you said it.

35:57

And of course we're all doing that in different

35:59

ways. But it is like

36:01

it's if you especially are

36:04

going through a season of being you

36:06

know Not entirely happy and

36:09

fulfilled Then it's good

36:11

to look at the things that you do

36:13

like I remember I Was

36:16

having like heart palpitations and

36:18

I was having The sensation

36:20

that I needed to pee when I didn't

36:23

for so long and I was like, what

36:25

is it? And I was like wait, I

36:27

I should look at the things that I

36:29

do every day and like I take Claritin

36:31

every day and it was that you know

36:33

But like you never look at the things

36:35

that you're doing I know as the cause

36:38

and anything that you do every day

36:40

I'm gonna coffee recently. I love

36:42

coffee after this. I'm gonna make

36:44

another Mike

36:46

Burbigly another coffee and

36:49

I am and I

36:51

always go the morning is my favorite time

36:53

of day. It's calm. I can read it's

36:55

quiet. Yeah Rest of the day.

36:58

I'm just kind of anxious and I'm like you're

37:00

Jack. That's coffee. You're And

37:02

this is where you really have to come clean and

37:05

say You're

37:07

jacked and anxious and a little bit

37:09

whatever paranoid. Ah, you like it. That's

37:12

what you like. Yeah, shut up That's

37:14

what you like. You like that feeling?

37:16

Yeah, I've been really grappling with just

37:19

like I

37:21

know we've covered this on the podcast before

37:23

but like empty spacious piece It

37:26

can be like really to the ego

37:28

can seem really boring and can seem like

37:31

a death of sorts. I do

37:33

want to say Speaking of what you're

37:35

saying Last week when I

37:37

was in Chicago and we did this show over zoom

37:40

It's one of the few times we

37:42

started over because like I couldn't get

37:44

in this vibe that we're in right

37:46

now Mm-hmm and that I thought

37:49

it had to do with like, oh, I

37:51

just wanted to start. Yeah, remember? Yeah,

37:54

seems so I'm laughing now that

37:56

it seems so silly. We never just start right?

38:00

I was anxious about

38:02

the shows. And I didn't

38:04

realize that until after the shows. I

38:06

guys, I know you're probably, this is like the

38:09

most classic, we made it weird moment ever. But

38:11

we're even as

38:13

talk about our feelings as we

38:15

are. Still don't have it figured out.

38:18

And I'm like, why was I so tense? Pete,

38:20

you had two shows that night and you were

38:22

nervous. I

38:24

honestly, I had a moment this

38:26

morning where I really appreciated you, like

38:30

this aspect of you, because

38:32

I'm about to shoot my

38:34

short and shit my shorts.

38:38

Oh my God. The

38:41

world will know your name. You're

38:45

just so good. I'm about to shoot

38:47

my short and shit my shorts. And

38:51

shit my shorts. I

38:53

just can't get enough of you, baby. Thank

38:56

you. Mash mouth.

39:01

But I'm feeling

39:04

great. Like I'm really excited about it,

39:06

but it is pretty much all I

39:08

can think about. Oh yeah. I'm

39:10

glad you brought it up. What are we gonna say? Well,

39:12

and I just, so I can make the point where

39:14

I compliment you, is I was

39:17

like. That's the only way to silence me. I

39:19

was actually just about to. Don't worry, I was

39:21

gonna compliment you. But

39:23

I was like, boy, I feel

39:25

so activated in every

39:28

way. So I feel excited

39:30

and fully alive

39:32

and really happy. And

39:35

I feel a little more on edge,

39:38

a little more like irritable,

39:40

you know? Like Leela's like this

39:43

morning, like biting my robe

39:46

and like tearing it up. And

39:48

I was just like, I can't handle

39:51

this. I'm thinking of a billion

39:53

things right now. And I

39:55

was just really appreciating that. You

39:57

really live with a. a

40:00

lot of ups and

40:02

downs like that. Like you always have

40:04

something just around the bend

40:06

that you have to be thinking about that's

40:08

taking up a lot of your consciousness. And

40:13

I made the note as your partner to

40:15

more often help both of us

40:17

remember that it probably is about

40:19

whatever is coming up. That's right. I

40:22

love it. Because you can very often

40:24

be like, I don't know why. Oh

40:27

shit, we're not recording. This is

40:29

a great moment. I love this. Little

40:31

moments where I'm understanding you more and

40:33

this moment where you're understanding what it's like. When

40:36

I said no room at the end, I was

40:38

like, I actually think that's funny that we don't

40:40

have that expression. Meaning like

40:42

all your rooms are taken. You're

40:44

thinking about your shot list. You're thinking about

40:46

the sound. You're thinking about this, the intimacy

40:48

coordinator, whatever it might be. And

40:51

then your daughter is like, can

40:54

you take my socks off for me? Which

40:57

is an adorable example. I regret

40:59

picking something so adorable. But

41:01

I was about to, I

41:03

had a call just before we were recording. And

41:06

I was like, oh, maybe on this call, I'll tell this

41:08

person this idea. And that's kind of a big deal. And

41:11

as soon as I started considering what

41:14

that would mean, if the idea

41:16

goes and this and that, and

41:19

make sure you do a good job, blah,

41:21

blah, blah. The sound of the clothes in

41:23

the dryer started sounding

41:25

like a dragon chewing up

41:28

my bone. Wow, yeah. The

41:31

aperture on my camera just

41:33

closed completely to

41:36

a pinpoint. And I was

41:38

like, and look, I'm not at all, well,

41:41

I don't hate that you're having that

41:43

experience, but I wasn't wishing that experience

41:45

on you. But I have, the joke

41:47

was now you're doing this movie and

41:50

I'm seeing you. And

41:53

you've always been so compassionate and understanding and gracious to me.

41:56

So there's no like, ha ha. Yeah. But

41:58

I'm watching you on the phone. Mm-hmm

42:00

replying to a text and you're like

42:02

how long is this text? Yeah,

42:04

and you're just like Val's doing

42:06

it. I'm really excited for you. Thank you

42:08

And there's like a you know, there

42:11

is in that cost I will say that

42:13

is the cost really feels like such a

42:15

small percentage It's because

42:17

I want to be thinking about it. So

42:19

really the cost is that I'm like, I

42:22

wish I could just be In

42:25

this room alone thinking about this but

42:27

instead my life continues and of course,

42:29

I want my life to continue But

42:31

it is like the shifting

42:34

gears thing that that I have compassion

42:36

for now that I'm seeing That

42:39

you have And

42:41

yeah, there was a really great moment where

42:43

I got I Got

42:46

a text from our sound person that had so

42:49

many new tech words. Yeah in

42:51

them Yeah, and we were we

42:53

were like running late to go

42:55

pick up Leela I was reading

42:57

this text in the kitchen, which

42:59

was was like this is like I

43:01

love that you're remembering this This is that it

43:04

was that so great. I mean the

43:06

text really was like like

43:09

We'll we have to see if there is

43:11

a jammer input and the G G5

43:14

put that on the airplane mode because it's fucking with the

43:16

audio. Oh really our phone. Yeah.

43:18

Oh my god Okay, that's really interesting because

43:20

I have been thinking about I have there's

43:23

a phone call in my short and I've

43:25

been wondering if if You're

43:27

gonna wait your phone off. Yeah. Yeah,

43:29

anyway, but yeah, I was like it

43:31

was like is there's you know an

43:34

input from on the GH 5 for

43:36

a jam or otherwise we'll have to get a Tentacle

43:39

to lock it and I was reading that

43:41

and you were sitting in the living room

43:43

being like I

43:50

was like, oh my god, I'm trying to

43:52

get Understand

43:56

this. Yeah, but it was so funny. It

43:58

was like and that's That moment

44:01

though was and look

44:03

we're already I don't

44:05

know the Parthenon we don't need any

44:07

more marble but the the

44:09

solidification of this this shift it's

44:12

like a body swap movie and

44:15

we love body swap movies because we're always just like

44:17

understanding comes from you know a mile

44:19

in someone else's shoes and for me

44:22

you don't just sing weed up as much as

44:24

I do stupid shit like

44:27

that but you know I'm no

44:29

no no I'm stupid no

44:31

no I know you're no this stupid in the fun

44:33

and silly way of course of course you are

44:36

but like my version of that is in

44:38

my reality is it's always a planning question

44:40

yeah totally and I can't I've

44:42

told you I've I've like planning trauma

44:45

and in the morning my mom would

44:47

walk in without knocking and

44:49

she'd just start planning with me

44:51

because this lady's been up for

44:54

four hours yeah she's like yeah

44:56

she's jacked on coffee and

44:58

she's been waiting for her only friend and

45:00

then she busts in and is like do

45:02

you think after church you're gonna want to

45:04

and I just I

45:06

still can't know when I'm

45:09

having my input this that

45:11

which I'm realizing you know

45:13

we made those commercials for modern mammals and stuff

45:16

a lot of times I'm sending like a micro

45:18

edit to our wonderful Brian Cullen who made edited

45:20

them and shot them all whatever I'm just trying

45:22

to give him a shout out and I'm texting

45:25

him like can you add a couple

45:27

frames at the end of this line and

45:30

it's not what's actually happening but it

45:32

always feels like in moments like that someone's like can

45:35

you pick up Leela because I and

45:37

I'm like when I'm

45:39

reading that text no room at the end

45:42

we're gonna take no room at the end

45:44

we're gonna run with it yeah yeah anyway

45:47

I love I love the understanding the body swap

45:49

of it is is this understanding I

45:52

don't have any like ha ha

45:54

feeling no but I do feel

45:56

really understood and seen and that's

45:58

deeply exciting for me because Because

46:00

I'll also add this little frosting, then we'll go to

46:02

the minerals. The frosting is, I'm

46:05

so excited. Because for all

46:07

the complaining and the stress, and

46:09

even the depression and the stagnancy that can

46:11

come between projects, which is kind of what

46:13

I've been dealing with, I

46:16

know the thrill of,

46:19

you know, it's like a

46:21

scuba diver going backwards off the boat

46:24

at night. Oh my God, I honestly thought-

46:27

It's so exciting and frightening. Today. Great.

46:30

Yeah. Today while I was planning things and

46:34

getting it all set up and sending

46:36

texts, I literally thought, I'm having

46:38

the time of my life. Like

46:41

I'm having the most fun

46:43

of my life. It's so

46:46

much fun. I'm not pleased

46:48

with this feeling, but it's real. I'm

46:51

like, there's a certain, oh

46:53

man, she's got it. I'm

46:55

happy for you. And it's helping

46:57

me recognize, I'm like, oh, that's what I'd

47:00

like. Yeah. And

47:02

this is a body swap because I've been, I'm

47:05

most familiar with being in

47:07

that position of seeing

47:09

you really juiced about something and

47:12

having that twinge of like, God, I gotta get

47:14

my shit together and get my nut. Come

47:18

on, nut. No, I know what

47:20

you mean. There's, you

47:22

know, okay, we'll go to the minerals and we'll talk a little bit

47:25

more about that. But I wanna talk about, so

47:28

much of my life is knowing what I should

47:30

do and not being able to do

47:33

it. Oh yeah. And let's pick

47:35

up there because I think people can relate

47:37

to that. Oh yeah. This episode is sponsored

47:40

by BetterHelp. We all have

47:42

different stressors that we carry around

47:44

big and small. If you're like

47:46

me, they revolve around family, compassion,

47:49

work, there's stress. And when you keep

47:51

that stress bottled up, it can start

47:53

to affect you negatively. That is certainly

47:56

true for me. And therapy, personally speaking,

47:58

has been an incredible. tools to

48:00

have that safe space to get these

48:02

things off your chest and figure out

48:05

how to work through whatever is weighing

48:07

you down before it bottles up and

48:09

explodes and comes out and all sorts

48:11

of behaviors that you just don't want

48:13

in your life. I love therapy. It

48:15

is, as I always say, greater than

48:17

the sum of its parts. Speaking to

48:19

a trained professional who knows how to

48:21

create that safe space and allow you

48:23

to let those things out is greater

48:25

than the sum of its parts. Meaning

48:28

it's got a certain something

48:30

about it. It's like dropping

48:32

off a huge heavy suitcase

48:34

filled with bricks, emotionally speaking,

48:37

and I always feel lighter, happier,

48:39

clearer, and just make my life

48:41

so much better. So if you're

48:43

thinking about starting therapy, better

48:45

help has made it easier than ever.

48:48

Give better help a try. It's entirely

48:50

online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and

48:52

suited to your schedule. Just fill out

48:54

a brief questionnaire to get matched with

48:56

a licensed therapist. You can even switch

48:58

therapists at any time for no additional

49:01

charge. So get it off your chest

49:03

with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash

49:06

weirdo today to get 10% off

49:08

your first month. That's betterhelp, help.com/weirdo.

49:10

Support your life, support the show.

49:13

We're also brought to us by

49:15

our friends at Hostage Tape. You

49:17

guys know this is the newest

49:19

pizza pick I am most excited

49:21

about because it has made my

49:24

sleep. I'm gonna say 10, 15

49:27

times better, not only because it's helped

49:29

with my snoring, eliminating my snoring, which

49:31

Val and Leela are both pretty thrilled

49:33

about, but it also means getting 20%

49:36

more oxygen to my body,

49:38

to my brain, getting me deep, deep, deep

49:40

into that REM sleep. How do I know

49:42

that? Well, one, I feel fantastic when I

49:44

wake up, and two, I dream

49:47

all night, and you only dream when

49:49

you're really, really deep asleep, and the

49:51

difference is hostage shape. What is it?

49:53

Mouth tape. It's a special kind of

49:55

tape you put over your mouth. What

49:57

makes it special? Well, I've tried other

49:59

times. mouth tape before and

50:02

they stink. Literally they stink.

50:04

They smell like adhesive. They're too strong.

50:06

They take part of your skin off.

50:08

When you take it off in the

50:10

morning they're horrible. Not all mouth tapes

50:12

are made the same. Hostage tape has

50:14

dialed it in perfectly. It fits comfortably.

50:16

It comes off in the morning without

50:18

taking your face with it and

50:21

it keeps you breathing out

50:23

your nose. Don't be a mouth

50:25

breather. Get 20% more

50:27

oxygen. Reduce your risk of sleep

50:29

apnea. Improve your oral hygiene and

50:31

eliminating bad breath. It does so many things

50:34

and snoring. So I tried it. I thought

50:36

it was gonna make me feel trapped. It's

50:38

gonna make me feel claustrophobic. It's hard to

50:40

breathe out of my nose. Something about it.

50:43

You put it on your mouth. Your brain

50:45

gets the message. Mouth closed. Nose open. Sleep

50:47

perfectly the whole night. It's never been an

50:50

issue. Ever since I've tried

50:52

it the first night I haven't even napped

50:54

without it. I'm never going back. I absolutely

50:56

love it and if you want to try

50:58

it you can try it for free and

51:00

see why they are the official Sleep and

51:02

Breathing aid of the UFC for a reason.

51:05

They are the real deal. Just pay the

51:07

$8.95 shipping and handling. You'll

51:10

get a sample pack and sleep

51:12

better tonight. Sleep better the night

51:15

it arrives for $8.95 shipping

51:17

and handling at hostagetape.com

51:20

weird. You know I'm about it. Get

51:22

into it. You

51:28

know I wouldn't say the depression

51:30

that I was experiencing the Ewok that I was

51:32

experiencing by the way so many people reached out.

51:34

My friend Mike Barker, creator of American Daddies

51:41

hilarious. He was like try Lion's

51:43

Mane. He texted me.

51:45

I've been taking three Lion's Mane

51:47

in the morning. Yeah. And then

51:49

other other wonderful people obviously Ken

51:52

Bishop. Anyway great

51:55

people reached out with their tips

51:57

and that but the thing that I can't

51:59

talk enough about it and feel a real need to

52:01

talk about. Because

52:03

I can often be that guy that's like lit up

52:05

like a glow stick and I'm like just do it,

52:08

just write it up and do it and dream and

52:10

throw your hat over the wall and chase it and

52:12

all that sort of Tony

52:14

Robbins flavor that I can have that

52:16

we often call my mania. I

52:20

really every opportunity I have to augment

52:22

it and balance it out with

52:24

just like I know,

52:26

I haven't worked out like lifted

52:28

weights in, I

52:30

don't even want to add up how long

52:32

it's been because it's depressing. Even

52:35

though I'm like when I

52:37

do that I feel

52:39

incredible. But then the voice of

52:42

my stagnancy, so the depression is

52:44

lifted, I don't feel that depression

52:46

anymore. Now I think

52:48

I have a clear understanding

52:51

of a more manageable and

52:53

situational dis-ease, not a

52:55

disease but a dis-ease where I'm like okay

52:57

I can tell something's

52:59

got to move. It's not like a sadness

53:01

that won't leave me alone, it's just kind

53:04

of like a block in the river. There

53:06

have been beavers and I just kind of have to kick

53:08

down some fucking nothing, these fucking

53:10

beavers, they don't know shit. So

53:12

I just have to knock it over but I

53:15

still have this like, it's

53:18

a day by day, you know it would

53:20

be great. In the morning I do

53:22

this gratitude journaling as well. I do a lot of

53:24

gratitude things and I've been doing the gratitude journal again.

53:28

One of the things, it's an app, what

53:30

are you grateful for? And

53:32

then the next question is what are you going to do

53:34

today to make it great? And

53:36

on that list I'll put total,

53:39

lift weights. I just don't

53:41

do it. That's how

53:43

much I'm like this is what you should

53:45

do and I won't do it. First

53:49

of all, knowing what you should do

53:51

and not doing it is probably the

53:53

most relatable feeling in

53:56

human experience. Right, I really

53:59

appreciate that. Yeah, we all

54:01

and it's often like when we need it

54:03

the most is when we find it The

54:06

least possible to do it and not really

54:08

is depression as you're like, I know yeah

54:11

going for a walk will make it better I've

54:13

had that now I've had sorry.

54:15

No, I've had such decision

54:18

paralysis lately Where

54:21

I have five? Submarines

54:23

all going for the same little

54:25

door and it's often as

54:28

simple as Suddenly,

54:31

okay, so we pick Lila up at 230.

54:33

So really our day are what a gift

54:35

that we stop working at 230 But I'm

54:37

just saying like, hmm, honestly if

54:40

it was worth or do that be pretty fucking sweet We're

54:44

just kind of strangely incapable

54:47

of not showing up Together

54:51

together. I know we'll talk about we don't take

54:53

shifts like smart parents do exactly stick together We're

54:55

dumbdoms, but you know, whatever I could defend it

54:57

and I would obviously is why we're doing it.

54:59

Anyway, I Go.

55:02

Okay. Lila is gonna be we pick Lila up at 230. It's

55:04

10 a.m And

55:06

in this moment, I'm feeling very happy

55:08

and clear and resourced and loved I'm

55:11

like so no big deal It's just go for a

55:13

walk like this morning the trash has been overflowing Yeah,

55:15

and the reason why I haven't brought it out is

55:17

because the trash cans are still in front of the

55:19

house Yeah, and that's enough. That's the

55:22

two submarines Well, I want to take the trash

55:24

out but the trash bins are in front of

55:26

the house So I'd have to go get them

55:28

She's not to tie bow up because he tried

55:30

to escape open the gate five I mean

55:32

when the task that you're trying to do is

55:34

like five tasks away and then I go and then it's

55:36

230. Yeah That's

55:39

the feeling is I'm not a is what it feels like

55:41

today Having some of

55:43

that lifted. Yeah was

55:45

I was like just do it and

55:48

I fucking hate just do it I

55:50

know but it's also is the answer.

55:52

Well, it's like I was like, I'm

55:54

just gonna go do it Just go

55:56

do it. Stop stop thinking about it.

55:58

Yeah, it's two steps bring in

56:00

the trash, take out the trash. And I did

56:02

have to tie Bo up, which was a pain

56:04

in the butt. You wouldn't have been able to

56:07

do it. I'm literally like wrestling with a polar

56:09

bear, not wrestling, but I'm trying to, he's stubborn.

56:12

But the distance between decision

56:15

paralysis and the just do it

56:18

place is millimeters, but it

56:20

might as well be the trip from the Shire

56:22

to Mordor. Because it is. It

56:24

feels like a hobby

56:27

journey to get to a place. Like

56:31

after the fuck is again, I feel great today. I

56:33

don't know what the fuck is going on. I feel

56:36

great today. After this, I'm going to, I'm

56:38

going to do the two things I have to do today.

56:40

And my feeling is it's only 1220. Yeah.

56:42

What a gift. Well, we

56:45

also rested yesterday. So here's the

56:47

thing. I know sometimes

56:49

the answer is Nike just do

56:51

it. Okay. But also,

56:54

you guessed it. I'm

56:58

going to talk about expansion and

57:00

contraction, everybody. And

57:03

the like, you know, Instagram

57:06

cliche of nothing in nature

57:08

blooms all year round. Like,

57:11

yeah, but I love that. It's so

57:13

important to remember that we- Manipulative

57:16

algorithm is right twice a day. We

57:20

need contraction

57:22

just as much as we need expansion. In

57:25

fact, we would value and enjoy it

57:30

if we didn't live in a culture

57:32

that says that we should be constantly

57:34

expanding and producing at all times. Yeah.

57:37

So you might just be in

57:39

a moment of contraction and knowing what

57:41

that looks like for you might

57:45

be really helpful. Because when you get the

57:47

signs that you like just can't get it

57:49

going, you can pivot to the

57:51

things that you do that are

57:53

really helpful. So thinking of it as like expansion

57:57

is like output and contraction is

57:59

input. So what are the things

58:01

that you do where you really are nurturing

58:04

and taking in information

58:07

that feels good and just look

58:09

at that as an investment for

58:11

your expansion. And it might be

58:13

if you fully

58:16

accept like this

58:18

is just I'm just in a moment of

58:20

contraction and instead of putting

58:22

the pressure on myself to like do

58:25

intense exercise and write

58:27

things and create things

58:29

I'm going to sit

58:32

and read and you

58:35

know reflect. Or the normal person meaning without

58:37

the privilege of the job that I just

58:39

kind of float around like a Victorian

58:42

queen like maybe I'll go in

58:44

the writing room. For

58:47

most people it'd be like maybe I'll just keep my

58:49

head down and just do the next right thing I'll

58:51

just go to work. Yes. I

58:53

know have dinner and I'll get rest and

58:55

yeah and I friend whatever my exactly

58:57

being like I know I

59:00

just need to put a little bit more

59:02

emphasis on feeding

59:05

myself on like nourishing and

59:08

nurturing myself. I'm just

59:10

in that kind of season of life.

59:14

And once you like open to

59:16

that and value it

59:19

I bet you wouldn't even need it

59:22

wouldn't even be that long until

59:24

you feel inspired to expand again.

59:26

Things like the contraction is just another

59:28

feeling that wants you to acknowledge it

59:30

and honor it. Yeah exactly

59:32

and this is this

59:35

fundamental paradigm shift that I

59:37

always forget and then have

59:39

to remember where

59:42

we're thinking of like how

59:45

we if we don't feel how we

59:47

want to feel that's just a mistake

59:49

and a problem and we have to

59:51

just like fix that.

59:53

As opposed to being like well maybe my my

59:57

equipment like my mechanism my.

1:00:00

body and my spirit and my mind

1:00:03

knows something and is trying to tell

1:00:05

me something. Yeah. And it might

1:00:07

just be trying to tell me that there's a need. Yeah. That

1:00:10

I just need to tend to. And

1:00:12

instead of prolonging it by avoiding that,

1:00:14

often giving it the exact opposite of

1:00:17

what it's asking for and resisting

1:00:19

and resisting, you just

1:00:22

like meet that need and I

1:00:24

bet the season passes. I

1:00:27

think that's wonderful. A lot of things

1:00:29

came up. One was that of course

1:00:31

the West is obsessed with AI because

1:00:33

it would be an inexhaustible productivity machine,

1:00:35

which is our God. Yeah, 100%. Well,

1:00:38

our God... I don't mean that literally.

1:00:40

I mean, that's what we... We want

1:00:42

a God that just pays out. It's

1:00:44

always summer. Yeah. Well,

1:00:47

I thought you were going to... Yeah, productivity is our God.

1:00:49

I mean, money is our God and productivity

1:00:51

is how you get money. So don't

1:00:53

forget that ethos has been sold to

1:00:55

you by people who just want to

1:00:57

be rich and just care about money.

1:01:00

Yeah. So if that isn't your value

1:01:02

system, then it doesn't really need to be your

1:01:04

ethos either. This is why like, you

1:01:07

know, Sweden and whatever,

1:01:09

the Netherlands, there are all these

1:01:12

places that like, this feels

1:01:14

like the rocky conversation again, but it's like

1:01:16

I used to look at countries like that.

1:01:18

They were like, maybe you just go for a walk

1:01:21

on beach with one shoe, you know, like that sort

1:01:23

of thing. And we were

1:01:25

like, what the fuck is that? How is

1:01:27

that slam dunking a basketball? And

1:01:30

they're like, but life isn't always about slam

1:01:32

dunkery. And you're like, all

1:01:34

right, dingus. Now I'm just like, oh

1:01:36

shit. They were right the whole

1:01:39

time. You know what? Which goes back to my

1:01:41

original point about the movie Sly. He goes, no, I

1:01:43

look at these photos and he's like at a movie

1:01:45

premiere with his kids and he's like, what am I

1:01:47

doing? The movie, it's not even real. Wow. That's

1:01:50

interesting. You have flesh and blood next to you.

1:01:52

Like you have people that need you. And I'm

1:01:54

out there promoting a movie

1:01:57

and I was like, nice Sly. Respect.

1:02:00

Oh, that's so cool. It's

1:02:02

funny that I'm like learning the opposite,

1:02:06

almost. Where like I first had the

1:02:08

important things in life. I

1:02:12

really is like, I know I've always been a

1:02:14

late bloomer, but like,

1:02:17

yeah, my journey

1:02:19

has been like first getting, you

1:02:23

know, the personal life down and

1:02:25

then being like, and I will

1:02:28

say there have been times where, because

1:02:30

I'm so excited about this work

1:02:32

and I feel so energized by

1:02:34

it, where I'm like, ah,

1:02:37

I do get the appeal of having

1:02:39

had, like having had

1:02:41

a season of life where all you have

1:02:43

to focus on is work. There's

1:02:48

things that I think are really nice about

1:02:50

that, but I also could see

1:02:52

how that would not be sustainable for me,

1:02:54

I would not be happy

1:02:56

with that for very long. Sylvester Stallone

1:02:58

and Schwarzenegger, all these people, they're

1:03:01

orgies. I'm not saying it's wrong.

1:03:05

I'm just saying you're not going for the

1:03:07

orgy model, which is the swinging

1:03:09

from a movie to another movie. It's

1:03:12

like a movie to press for that movie to the

1:03:14

next movie, to press for that movie to the next

1:03:16

movie. And you're kind of going like, do there need

1:03:18

to be seven rock, I think

1:03:20

there's six rock movies. Yeah, no, definitely

1:03:22

not. Anyway, watching that.

1:03:26

Well, when you're looking for that for your

1:03:30

self-worth and your fulfillment.

1:03:32

Which he also, by the way, it's a good

1:03:34

movie. I wasn't like blown away, absolutely

1:03:36

in love with it, but he

1:03:39

has that sort of like, what

1:03:42

exactly was your phrasing, Jacinthe? When

1:03:44

you're looking to that kind of success for your

1:03:46

fulfillment. He says that, yeah. He was like, my

1:03:49

father was this way and I just couldn't get

1:03:51

enough and can't get enough. He

1:03:54

knows and I was like, good for you. Yeah,

1:03:56

that's cool. I think he's, who cares

1:03:58

what I think, but I think he's a very good friend. interesting

1:04:01

person. Yeah that's cool. Yeah. I'd

1:04:03

be way more into watching that than any

1:04:05

of the Rockies. Well it turns

1:04:07

out that's what you actually want to watch it

1:04:09

because it has all the clips. Yeah. The best

1:04:11

moments. Yeah that's right it's like the

1:04:14

last dance. I don't want to watch basketball.

1:04:16

Yeah. If you show me the highlights of

1:04:18

the best basketball team in history. Yeah. And

1:04:21

then give me their like personal story. Yeah

1:04:23

and I was hungover that day. I

1:04:25

love that. We're exactly the same. I

1:04:27

was gonna we can bring this in

1:04:29

for a landing here around here is

1:04:31

sorry I'm

1:04:35

just laughing at all I'm talking. I

1:04:37

know you are kind of talking like Purd Happley

1:04:40

which is a reference you don't know but

1:04:42

it's from Parks and Rec and

1:04:45

it's the local newscaster and

1:04:47

he's hard to do but

1:04:49

he always like overexplainable.

1:04:53

Yeah that's what I'm feeling. Yeah. I'm feeling like and

1:04:55

one of the ways that we can bring this in

1:04:57

not not to rush it but you know he's like

1:04:59

there's breaking news which is the words that

1:05:01

I'm about to say to you out of

1:05:03

my mouth right now. Yeah. No that's

1:05:06

how I can feel. I get

1:05:08

it. I sometimes feel like my

1:05:10

mind is like I'm having a little dinner party

1:05:12

and I won't stop cleaning

1:05:14

like I'm wiping putting coasters

1:05:17

out. Did you design that

1:05:19

to be a scenario that

1:05:21

I could understand because that's

1:05:23

the most relatable thing for me. I think it

1:05:25

is because we're both cleaning up a little bit

1:05:27

today but you know but

1:05:29

and that's why sorry but

1:05:32

sorry but I'm just saying that's one of

1:05:34

the reasons I love hanging out with comedians but

1:05:36

not just comedians a certain type of person because

1:05:39

we have friends that are like this that

1:05:41

are comedian like in that you

1:05:43

can just fucking stop cleaning for

1:05:46

a second and if you say

1:05:48

mongrel it turns out it means

1:05:50

something horrible. Yeah. It doesn't result

1:05:52

in side-eye or like getting classified

1:05:54

as somebody that says

1:05:56

things like that you know and that is the

1:05:58

great gift of comedy and

1:06:00

comedians have that in spades but I'm really

1:06:03

thinking about Sam and Ariella when I'm with

1:06:05

them I'm just like and

1:06:08

I'm not one of those guys that wants to say salacious things

1:06:10

all the time but we've already covered this

1:06:12

my love language is benefit of the doubt oh

1:06:14

my god when I like I was you

1:06:17

know somewhat recently like within

1:06:19

this last year with

1:06:23

a different friend group that

1:06:25

wasn't my friend group and

1:06:28

oh yeah and I just

1:06:31

was it was like everybody was so sparkly

1:06:35

and funny and like

1:06:38

intricately always like had the most

1:06:41

interesting word choice for whatever they

1:06:43

were saying had a lot of

1:06:45

personality like a lot of style

1:06:48

and I was just like this

1:06:52

is exhausting like what

1:06:56

I'm hoping and maybe they do when they're not

1:06:58

with people who aren't you

1:07:00

know in the friend group like

1:07:02

when they're just with each other but I was just

1:07:04

like where's the like intimacy

1:07:07

where's the ability to be like

1:07:10

I I'm just like

1:07:12

not feeling interesting in this

1:07:14

moment yeah

1:07:17

yeah the vulnerability of being like I'm being

1:07:19

I'm gonna just like be kind of a

1:07:21

dud at this dinner because that's kind of what

1:07:23

I was gonna bring up when I was like we could

1:07:25

end on this and then I got over thinking person

1:07:27

wreck I relive the whole thing but

1:07:29

it's similar to what you're saying and I think you'll see is that

1:07:32

one of the reasons so that just do it

1:07:34

so in this case it would be

1:07:36

just be sparkly and just find the best word

1:07:38

and just do it like override whatever feeling you

1:07:40

have and just show up yeah and that's

1:07:42

like it was like show up a hundred

1:07:44

percent all the time and that's one of the

1:07:47

reasons why I think I don't have

1:07:49

a lot of very fit

1:07:51

friends yeah is

1:07:54

because the type of all of our friends

1:07:56

listening okay well that's not entirely

1:07:58

true I just mean like We

1:08:00

do have friends. I know what you mean. I

1:08:03

could unpack that. But in general, I

1:08:06

don't have a ton of friends that are like

1:08:08

lace up your running shoes and go. Every

1:08:11

morning, just do it. Just go.

1:08:13

Just lift. And I'm not saying

1:08:15

those people aren't wounded. Of course they are.

1:08:17

And of course you could, that could be

1:08:19

your compulsion. That's a cliche. It

1:08:21

often is, yeah. Yeah, but of course. I'm

1:08:24

just saying, isn't it funny that we're

1:08:27

looking for people whose wound vibrates

1:08:29

in the same way that ours does? Yeah. And

1:08:32

so when I hang out, if I'm in a

1:08:34

room, if I'm hanging

1:08:36

out with a buff person, like if Chris Evans is

1:08:38

there, I'd be talking to Chris Evans

1:08:40

to be like, imagine if I could be like that.

1:08:43

So Tony Robbins says people

1:08:45

are attracted to people that are like them or

1:08:47

who are like what they'd like to be like.

1:08:49

Right. And more often, I would

1:08:51

rather talk to the, whatever,

1:08:53

the softer bodied person, meaning I

1:08:57

know we have something in common. Yeah.

1:08:59

Which isn't just the soft body.

1:09:01

It's that whatever's going on inside

1:09:04

manifests on the outside as I know I

1:09:07

should work out, but I can't. And that's,

1:09:09

it's not weighing or comparing

1:09:12

wounds. Yeah. But we tend

1:09:14

to go like, oh, I bet, I bet this person

1:09:16

understands. Yeah. It's just

1:09:18

a softness in general. It's

1:09:21

like physically and emotionally and.

1:09:23

Right. And

1:09:25

I do think there's just different values,

1:09:28

like some friends that I have value,

1:09:33

like showing up, having

1:09:35

good work ethic in your relationships

1:09:38

more than they do vulnerability

1:09:40

and intimacy. Right. And

1:09:42

we just aren't that way. We're the second one.

1:09:45

Yeah. So hard. We, I don't

1:09:47

care if people are showing me their best

1:09:50

sides. In fact, I relax more

1:09:52

if there's a moment where they're

1:09:54

like, I'm just fucking

1:09:56

grumpy or whatever, you know.

1:09:59

I mean, that's. That's very close to the core

1:10:01

of why I think

1:10:03

we do so well. As a couple, I

1:10:06

just mean love each other so well, is

1:10:08

I never go. In fact,

1:10:11

nine times out of 10, if I don't reach

1:10:13

out to a friend, is I'm like, I don't

1:10:15

wanna show up for them. Yeah. And

1:10:18

that feels like they're

1:10:21

not, but in my strange

1:10:23

whatever makeup up there, I

1:10:29

think when I see people being funny at

1:10:31

a party and stuff, it

1:10:33

looks exhausting. But you know what's interesting

1:10:36

is if showing up for them and

1:10:39

for the friends where this is, how

1:10:41

you show up for them, wouldn't mean

1:10:43

just like listening to what they're going

1:10:45

through and just like being

1:10:47

there to witness it. You

1:10:50

would be up for that all the time. I

1:10:53

think it probably has something

1:10:55

to do with the thing that

1:10:57

we have in common, which was being

1:10:59

sort of the shiny, light-filled

1:11:02

golden children that we

1:11:05

were expected to be. It's not that I can't

1:11:07

go and just listen to somebody, but

1:11:09

I'm like, I really have a voice, and

1:11:11

I'm not crazy about this, that goes, so

1:11:13

I'll just sit there like a bitch? I

1:11:16

don't mean a woman or anything like that.

1:11:18

I just mean like a passive dud. A

1:11:20

dud is probably a better word. Like I'll

1:11:22

go and just be an

1:11:24

ordinary. Or I

1:11:27

could not hang out with them and

1:11:29

wait till I feel sparkly, hang

1:11:31

out with them, be sparkly. And that's where

1:11:34

we differ. That's like

1:11:36

we're very similar where we don't want to have to

1:11:38

show up all the time. But

1:11:41

I'm comfortable not

1:11:44

sparkling all the time and

1:11:46

being like, yeah, I can just

1:11:49

like listen. But I do

1:11:51

think where we are similar is we are

1:11:53

more interested, well, I wonder if you're like

1:11:55

this, because I could see you both ways.

1:11:59

I'll just be for me. I'm more interested

1:12:01

in people showing me the

1:12:03

entirety of their humanity than

1:12:05

I am, then deliberately

1:12:08

trying to be interesting. Yeah, I agree

1:12:10

with that. It's

1:12:13

like our friend Jen did an Astral Body

1:12:15

Healing for us and one of

1:12:17

the images she had in... As

1:12:20

if I wasn't one of the people. Yeah,

1:12:22

I know. Yeah. She envisioned me

1:12:24

as a kid doing like Cat's Cradle, like

1:12:26

the, you know, where you had like

1:12:41

two strings attached in the

1:12:44

big circle and you do the little hand

1:12:46

things. And she's like, you're doing

1:12:48

that with a friend, but you're

1:12:50

stretching it out and like putting

1:12:52

it vertical and inviting her to

1:12:55

walk through it. And you're like

1:12:57

laughing at how absurd

1:12:59

this is, but you're like inviting her to

1:13:02

be like, put your whole self in this.

1:13:04

That is you. And that really made

1:13:07

me feel very, very seen. And that's

1:13:09

what I'm interested in. Like I really,

1:13:11

it's not like I'm, I'm

1:13:13

not trying to like virtue signal to use

1:13:15

your term and

1:13:17

be like, this is the way to be. I

1:13:21

know that I have friends that wish that I

1:13:23

was more interested in showing up in

1:13:26

the way of being like, I'm going

1:13:28

to do this. Like this is a first date

1:13:30

and I'm trying to woo you. And

1:13:32

I'm just saying, so I'm not saying this

1:13:34

is the, yeah, like a better way to

1:13:36

be. No, I think it's better. You

1:13:38

know, it's interesting. I was thinking about this this week where

1:13:40

I was like for all of this characters,

1:13:43

like I go characters when you said

1:13:45

Twitter, it's

1:13:47

really, and it's the most obvious thing in the

1:13:49

world is I remember distinctly, I've probably talked about

1:13:52

this on the podcast before. I

1:13:55

was watching what movie

1:13:57

is it? It

1:13:59

doesn't. matter. There was a time in my life

1:14:02

when I was a young comedian and I

1:14:04

was touring and Aziz was one of the

1:14:06

comedians and there were a couple other comedians

1:14:08

and I felt lower status to Aziz obviously

1:14:10

he was in his 20s and this is

1:14:12

not a bad story about Aziz by the

1:14:14

way it's just I

1:14:16

remember feeling like junior high vibes

1:14:18

like I was this weird and wet

1:14:22

soft ruddy faced boy who just happened to

1:14:24

be on this tour. I had none of

1:14:26

the the solidity that I have now

1:14:28

which I'm very proud of which is like I am

1:14:31

me, I'm good at what I do, might not

1:14:33

be for everybody but who does

1:14:36

something that's for everybody you know I'm saying

1:14:38

like just kind of a calm centeredness that

1:14:40

took a lot of work to get at

1:14:42

and then back then I was really just

1:14:44

trying to be like oh wow Aziz is

1:14:46

like so hip so cool ahead of the

1:14:49

curve was just the

1:14:51

face of modernity. Young

1:14:54

guy killing it way harder. I was

1:14:56

like what is this guy about and

1:14:58

I think he had recommended some movie

1:15:02

and it was a Matt Damon was in it and George

1:15:04

Clooney I forget what it is though it doesn't matter and

1:15:06

I was really desperate

1:15:08

and sweaty just trying to talk

1:15:10

about the movie in

1:15:13

the way that I do which was

1:15:15

being honest and I didn't understand an

1:15:17

aspect of the movie and

1:15:20

like maybe this is a little shitty

1:15:22

but I don't think it's horrible Aziz

1:15:24

like really made fun of me for

1:15:26

not understanding the movie

1:15:30

and not hard not over the line he

1:15:32

just sort of roasted me a little bit

1:15:34

yeah but I remember in that moment really

1:15:37

getting a glimpse of my inner

1:15:40

child and that was almost like if we

1:15:42

were making the movie that's a moment

1:15:44

where I go like we're not doing this

1:15:46

anymore I will become

1:15:49

the person who makes

1:15:51

fun of people who don't understand

1:15:53

movies like that was the moment

1:15:55

there was like earning point not

1:15:57

doing this anymore I'm gonna

1:15:59

keep my mouth shut if I don't

1:16:01

understand it. I'll pretend I

1:16:03

understand it. Really in that very sort

1:16:06

of ordinary, but it

1:16:08

wasn't just disease. It was hanging out

1:16:10

with comedians in general. I was like,

1:16:12

if you show this weakness with these

1:16:14

people, my people, and I'm this

1:16:17

way, they

1:16:19

will pounce on it. And I started

1:16:21

hammering it out and going like, it's

1:16:24

that U2 lyric where he

1:16:26

goes, you become the monster, so the monster will not take

1:16:28

you. That is so

1:16:31

interesting because that is the double-edged sword

1:16:33

of what you're saying. I like to

1:16:35

hang out with comedians where

1:16:37

you can say mongrel and

1:16:39

nobody faults you or

1:16:42

whatever. But that also is to

1:16:44

like, but don't be

1:16:46

the fool. Be the aggressor. And

1:16:48

I know that a part

1:16:52

of you that you have

1:16:55

shame about and that you try to work on is

1:16:57

being hard on, I'm

1:17:02

doing air quotes, the fool, like

1:17:04

somebody who is. And it's

1:17:06

that same mechanism that created

1:17:08

that in you. Because

1:17:11

my fear is I am the fool. But

1:17:13

you got that from the people who- Who

1:17:15

helped me learn how to- Well,

1:17:17

you got that from the people who

1:17:19

now you are more comfortable with because

1:17:21

it's basically like they

1:17:23

made you like them. And so

1:17:26

now you're only comfortable with their kind.

1:17:30

And yet they were the ones that hammered and

1:17:32

scared and all that sort of stuff. It's true.

1:17:34

When I watched The Roast, like I didn't watch

1:17:36

The Roast, we watched Nicki said and then, because

1:17:38

you said it was excellent and it was, I'm

1:17:41

like, there really is something, that's

1:17:43

what we are. There's a mode for all

1:17:45

of us deep down where like,

1:17:47

just a little bit

1:17:50

like cannibals, like I'll eat you. If

1:17:52

that's the menu, I'll eat you. Are

1:17:55

you saying that's where the food is?

1:17:57

And the food is laughs, prestige, power.

1:18:00

shininess. I'll eat you.

1:18:02

Yeah. I guess, do you

1:18:04

feel like you had that before you started

1:18:07

hanging out with comedians? Had what?

1:18:09

That roasty thing aspect. No,

1:18:12

I think that was developed. And that

1:18:14

was, if I can make them feel

1:18:16

like a full, I won't be a

1:18:19

full classic, just classic projection and

1:18:22

fear and all that sort of stuff. And

1:18:24

I remember that slowly, you know,

1:18:27

from hanging out with comedians, which was around that

1:18:29

time. Now, when

1:18:32

I'm with people,

1:18:34

have you ever noticed that if

1:18:36

people bring up making fun of, like

1:18:38

make fun of me, I have something?

1:18:41

Yeah. You

1:18:43

mean like you have a response? If they go like,

1:18:45

what would you say about me? And I'll just say

1:18:47

like, it's, I thought about

1:18:49

that earlier. Oh, yeah, of course. It

1:18:52

wasn't coming up with it quickly. It's

1:18:54

when I saw them, you've

1:18:56

been conditioned to go like, yeah, why

1:18:58

you look like a weatherman in the

1:19:00

70s or whatever, or something funnier than

1:19:03

that. But like you have that. Yeah.

1:19:05

And it came from hanging out with

1:19:07

comics. That's so interesting

1:19:09

that that like developed as

1:19:11

a survival mechanism. Because it

1:19:13

is like, I know it came from you

1:19:16

not wanting to be the fool, but if

1:19:18

you were hanging out with a different crowd,

1:19:20

that wouldn't even be necessary. Well, it takes

1:19:22

me back to college when like my identity

1:19:24

was a goofus. Like I felt like I

1:19:27

was a goofus and my friends were goofus,

1:19:29

goofi. And we, we, my

1:19:33

roommate and I used to joke that we

1:19:35

were like, Beavis and Butt-Head. We just walked

1:19:37

around the world and like things happened and

1:19:39

we laughed at everything and we were just

1:19:41

idiots. And then like, I

1:19:44

slowly got thrown to the

1:19:46

wolves and learned to howl at the moon.

1:19:48

Well, honestly, and that felt like a

1:19:50

homecoming to me because we're almost

1:19:52

out of time. But like, you know, growing

1:19:54

up, that wasn't

1:19:57

just being a goofus. It was, it was learning how

1:19:59

to like survive pretty interesting and complicated

1:20:02

terrain. So when I

1:20:04

learned that there was a group of people

1:20:06

that wanted to make fun of and tease,

1:20:08

I was like, oh, you know

1:20:10

what I mean? My parents, I know

1:20:13

whatever, pop up, go away. My parents

1:20:15

are very good at making fun of

1:20:17

people. Oh yeah, they have a

1:20:20

lot of opinions about how everybody

1:20:22

is and should be. Things you wouldn't even

1:20:24

guess. You shouldn't do that. Like

1:20:26

that, what, where that, but they'll say it like it

1:20:28

was written on the back of the $5 bill. Like

1:20:31

you don't do that. So then

1:20:33

when I saw that there was a group, two

1:20:35

things, I could protect myself. So I

1:20:37

went with the most dangerous group because the way

1:20:40

I could protect myself with them was

1:20:42

the most protected. Like the insurance

1:20:44

policy, the payout is the largest.

1:20:46

Even though you're in the most

1:20:48

at risk area, you'll

1:20:50

still get more of a payout as

1:20:53

opposed to pretending to be a doofus. I was like, oh,

1:20:55

I can be my full self over here. And anyway, we

1:20:57

got it. You'll be unprotected. Yeah. And

1:21:00

you recognized like a, you

1:21:04

know, a pattern of attachment

1:21:07

that you knew from your

1:21:09

childhood. That's exactly right. And we're

1:21:11

back to the wound. Yes. This

1:21:13

feels familiar. Always the wound.

1:21:16

Never the wounded. Does

1:21:18

this note say less vowel or

1:21:21

lay vowel? Where? It's

1:21:23

L-E-S vowel. Les vowel,

1:21:25

lesbian vowel kiln. Not

1:21:27

about me. This is my set list from when I

1:21:30

did stand up at the Rupert Spira. So

1:21:33

I even put lesbian vowel kiln on there

1:21:35

because I was so like, what jokes will

1:21:37

work in a

1:21:40

spiritual environment? That

1:21:42

is your go-to. It'll work

1:21:44

every time. I know. And

1:21:46

I'm not trying to be funny. I think about when eventually

1:21:49

vowel kiln will pass away and a joke will

1:21:52

go with them. You can't, there's

1:21:54

the same thing happened to me with John Ritter. I sometimes

1:21:56

have jokes about looking like John Ritter, then he died. And

1:21:59

you're like, well, you. You don't do it anymore. You

1:22:01

do it when he's a movie star. That helps.

1:22:04

That helps the story.

1:22:06

Yeah, although I think you could do John Ritter now.

1:22:08

Now I think. There's probably a brief period of time

1:22:11

where you don't. There's a statute. Yeah, and

1:22:13

then there's a brief period of time where you do it

1:22:15

and you say too soon. That's no, you're right. I

1:22:17

know comedy. You do, yeah. One

1:22:19

thing's for sure, you keep doing it. Yeah.

1:22:23

All right, this is wonderful, Valerie. Thank you, as

1:22:25

always. Yeah, thank you. What

1:22:27

a gift you are. Thank you all

1:22:29

for listening and keep it crispy.