0:01

Hey everybody

0:09

welcome back to the Usainote Podcast episode

0:11

117 round of

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applause please. Hey

0:21

everybody welcome back to the Usainote Podcast episode 117

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that is an insane clap. Top

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tier weirdest claps we've ever gotten. Hey everybody welcome back

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to the Usainote Podcast if you're new here if you

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don't already look below you see the subscribe button is

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fill that out get your good karma boy are we

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so blessed to have just

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left Washington DC we're two shows

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down and this is we're having

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so so much fun on tour

0:51

we love you guys so much meeting

0:53

you guys feeling your energy in person

0:55

it is the best thing ever and

0:58

in Chicago we will see you in

1:00

four days let's keep the ball rolling

1:02

let's see which crowd can win the

1:04

best crowd for summer tour we are

1:06

keeping those we are keeping tally we

1:09

love you guys so much we're on

1:11

the road to one million

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subscribers last week I was a little sickly

1:17

this week I'm full energy so be

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prepared for a full

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energetic nasty gross wild

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with all our freaking hearts let's

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enjoy the rest of the episode let's do it this

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the rest of the episode. You

3:29

should know podcast. We

3:32

got co-host Cam

3:35

back in the studio. Big

3:38

back activity, back at it again. You

3:47

know one thing, I'm going to say something about you. You're wearing your light blue.

3:49

You just looked at me up and down and I feel an insult coming. No!

3:53

Why would I ever? Why

3:57

do you every time? You said you would have been like this, but you said

3:59

you would have been like this. You wanna know one thing about you? What

4:02

am I think gonna happen? I don't I don't I'm not mean

4:04

to you you verbally accost me 24-7. No, I do not okay

4:08

I would say majority of the internet thinks that I'm

4:10

flirting with you more than I'm not That's

4:14

what I'm doing what they don't see it They

4:19

can hear you they you can just say at your house Can't

4:22

hear him. You can say at your house. Yeah, can't hear what they

4:24

don't see at your house in my house a lot

4:27

of kissing a Mean

4:30

no, no. Oh, yes. What's one mean thing? I've said

4:33

to you say the top yet right now go you

4:35

said I have a Gynormous skull. I'm not me. I'm

4:37

never gonna find true love you never said that Mary.

4:39

Never said that I see you have a ginormous Cool,

4:41

it's not a mean thing. It's a fact is your

4:44

skull big. Yes. Okay ginormous. Does it look like it's

4:46

well enormous? No, now it doesn't look like a bruise.

4:48

No Doesn't look like you

4:50

have a compound fracture in your skull and it never

4:52

got fixed. Yes evidence

4:55

case Jory I

4:57

said that worry. I said Jory dude Jory

4:59

close one of my biggest fears is jury

5:01

duty I think it'd be sick.

5:03

I've always wanted I've Know

5:06

I've put him in jail put him under the

5:08

jail. I've seen enough get him out of here

5:10

That dog off the street. No, I've always wanted

5:12

to be on like a high profile case though.

5:15

No, bro No, I know I don't get my phone

5:17

and like like my life would suck just because I'm

5:19

serving that jury But no, I don't

5:21

want to go for a damn traffic thing that went

5:23

wrong I want to go for like a serial manhunt

5:25

killer. Okay, but you don't realize you're gonna put you

5:28

in a hotel room You don't get TV and

5:30

they'll give you six DVDs bench warmer sex in

5:32

the city Like you got a

5:35

we got to live off that for three months find a

5:37

burner phone. I'll get you to remember and then you go

5:39

to jail that's purgatory Walk

5:46

that's a purgatory. This is hell

5:48

purgatory the intermediary big

5:50

word for I'm not sure what that is For

5:53

hell oh, I have no earrings and I feel

5:55

naked. I feel there keep touching your ears. They

5:57

look cute though, dude I've been having more excuse

5:59

me. No more Kiloids yeah,

6:01

no they're in the back. They're hidden from the

6:03

public those things went back doors. They

6:05

went. We're gonna go sneak back here I've

6:10

been I've been doing better. I've been putting alcohol and rubbing them.

6:12

You know what I mean We

6:14

love a man that will love himself one

6:16

one thing. Do you remember that big brown bottle?

6:19

The big brown bottle when you get a good old boo boo you

6:21

get a cut as a kid that big brown bottle That

6:24

is I almost call it a seed of

6:26

medicine. It is not a Super glue. Yeah,

6:28

super good. It's a hydrogen peroxide. Yes Hated

6:31

the feeling but love love the

6:33

watch What

6:36

a good watch. I love the show hated

6:38

the inner pain. Oh my god I was

6:40

like there's science happening on my skin. I

6:42

once went mom That's

6:45

not about say you need help. I'm kidding.

6:47

You know that hurt though Have

6:49

you ever had it done recently you scraped your knee recently?

6:51

Yeah, but I'm a man now I'm just like that hurts

6:53

for a little bit. I'm just gonna get over it I

6:58

don't have the big brown bottle anymore What

7:00

do you clean your wounds with don't water?

7:03

Oh my god. No, no, that is

7:05

pure fact Cuz you have an infection on

7:07

your foot. Yeah, like a month's time and

7:09

every day you complain about it You'd be

7:11

like my socks are oozing. I can't wear

7:13

shoes. I'm like, what are you doing for?

7:15

You're like, dude sleep Doritos I yeah, put

7:18

some hydrogen peroxide on it The fun fact

7:20

about that in when I was showering in

7:22

Boulder before the show, okay I

7:24

looked at my foot and it's just a big brown

7:26

mark on there. That's for with me forever I don't

7:29

a hundred is with me forever ever. Yeah this I

7:32

Love you to death. Huh? He wanted to go to

7:34

the classic the nose and no socks show now what

7:36

I wanted to do Now I

7:38

just simply forgot to buy dress socks. You don't

7:40

own dress on and not until the ACMA's I

7:42

own Six pairs of socks

7:44

good ass. You don't share You're

7:47

like, I don't want your black feet in my My

7:51

Through up I don't

7:53

share. No, you know anymore.

7:55

You didn't leave you didn't leave my house

7:58

the other day with an entire can Outfit

8:00

on because why oh because

8:02

why oh because why I wanted to hang out with

8:04

you because I Offered

8:07

to go home exactly you didn't share you

8:09

were forcing you're like either you're gonna be

8:12

shut up You're like oh shut up. It's

8:14

not your turn. This is furthering my point.

8:16

Oh, I love you So let's go back

8:18

to let's go back to Sesame Street your

8:20

turn my turn. I speak you speak okay

8:22

Let's do that. I can't have a mouse

8:25

I go first How does that work that

8:27

was my turn cuz I am saying it.

8:29

I loved you so much. I forced you

8:31

to stay in offered Offered

8:33

that that's a step above no if you have

8:35

control issues. I said you have

8:37

control issues You're like I could I know

8:39

you not have control When

8:42

you have something in your brain implemented in your

8:44

brain, okay? Okay, I didn't

8:46

give it to me. I have it in it. It's I

8:48

deal with the day. I'm like him Let me just go

8:50

home and shower and change and I'll go meet y'all at

8:52

the place It's right by my house. I have to go

8:54

drive towards my house. Okay anyway doesn't matter doesn't

8:57

matter yeah I was gonna start

8:59

this episode. I'm gonna think the blue accents really help

9:01

you blue eyes I'm

9:03

tired of touching your hands. I am so sick of it.

9:05

Yes, I know where my hands clean of the nose no

9:09

No, yes, yes or no. Oh yes or no

9:11

does my hands feel like a baby's rumpus his

9:14

hands are on on Unexplained

9:17

how soft exactly did you

9:20

you sleep in vats of

9:22

lotion you go to bed like this every night And

9:31

they have absorbed six bottles of

9:33

Jurgen's cocoa and Shea That's

9:36

a that's a that's a bold No

9:39

agenda yes, or no, that's it. Yeah. Oh my

9:41

god be honest with me. Don't paint this picture

9:43

on the internet No, is that the

9:45

Jurgen's you I don't lotion my hands though no no that's

9:47

fine. Yes, or no It's cocoa and Shea butter the Jurgen.

9:49

I don't know I Be

9:52

a beast of a man. Yes. That's what you

9:54

I don't know I love him for all of

9:56

him Honestly

10:00

how many times have you seen it? I think

10:02

three now every time where you'll

10:05

surprise I Think

10:08

every time we're you're like I think I think

10:10

two it was locked and loaded Do is ready

10:13

for two is ready for sport you just got

10:15

out of the second half of fencing Can I

10:17

think one time who's the little cashew it was

10:19

five what not not little Cashew

10:21

for where we had the cashew for him curled up

10:23

over where were we think we might have

10:25

been taking a piss? Oh you think you're like I

10:27

gotta see what that's like in the midday Gotta

10:29

see what midday he was I knew it wasn't like

10:32

that at 230 I

10:34

knew that was a late night activity still nice still

10:36

good. Thank you. Yes, you're welcome. Thank you I saw

10:38

yours and I was like I was like In

10:47

my In

10:50

my pocket I have a couple

10:52

of you guys pink panther good

10:54

movie Yeah, anyway wild

10:56

thing that a lot of never mind

10:59

yeah, we all badness can we all thought

11:01

it was horrible misconception I'm not go. I

11:03

don't think it is it's not pink It's

11:06

not pink. It's not pink you see this. That's

11:08

what you get. I've and it's darker than this

11:10

I don't think so. Yes, it is. I think

11:13

it's like your knuckles. It's done. We're here knuckles

11:16

You know what I mean like it before you go

11:19

Before you just looked at your knuckles, and I would say your

11:22

knuckles are pink you about another not they're not pink And these

11:24

oh my god. Yes, you are oh my god. Yes. They're not

11:26

pink Know your knuckles my

11:29

knuckles right there We'll

11:35

paint you down like I think that's just

11:37

from from all the countless encounters it Okay,

11:42

all right a shattered thumb how at

11:44

this point You should know

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episode is brought to you by our friends

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uh, popular contrary belief. My feet stink as well

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and I can use the same wipes on the

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are my stinkers. Thank God for Mando wipes. Flossing

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Now on to the rest of the episode. How

13:37

was your week bubba? It's hard to answer that because this is

13:39

pre-recorded and they're going to get confused. We haven't been to Chicago

13:41

yet or we haven't been to DC yet. We

13:43

haven't been to DC but hopefully the DC show goes amazing. Yeah,

13:48

I want to go to the White House. Oh, we're definitely, you're

13:50

definitely going to see that in

13:52

the quality club on our stories and everything. I'm

13:56

really nervous about going to DC. Why? the

14:00

world And

14:06

all of a sudden she's gonna be a laser they're gonna

14:08

be like oh my god There's not even gonna be a

14:10

speaker, but we're gonna hear it as clear as day you

14:12

sure about that You're like that would be sick that the

14:14

elite I guarantee there's so like I want to like I

14:16

want to like Could you

14:18

hear what I say because they will show up to

14:20

the house. Oh, yeah They won't show up to this

14:22

house when you get back. This isn't a house No,

14:24

not this house your house here. That's what I'm saying.

14:27

They will show up No, well not while you're just

14:29

sitting there watching belay or eating your eating your your

14:31

double quarter pounder They're going rock on the door. You're

14:33

gonna think it's me. Hey, buddy. They're gonna say get

14:35

on the ground Do you think I do well in

14:37

the secret service? Really

14:40

you might be a good you might be a

14:42

good double agent like a double double agent quadruple

14:44

somewhere call me toxic No, I'm saying you'd be

14:46

really good at Manipulating

14:48

behind enemy lines pretending to be one of them why

14:51

if you were just full-blown Sherlock Holmes You'd had to

14:53

solve a case. I don't think it's gonna go well.

14:55

You're gonna be like What

14:59

do we do next they're like this is where

15:01

he died how to happen you're like But

15:09

if you were behind enemy line, yeah, you were

15:12

in the ear you're just like oh

15:14

Lord I Think

15:16

the America's a week now and then you get them to

15:18

do an attack and then we you know You'd be better

15:21

at double. I'm not a good liar though Okay,

15:24

you're not a good liar. I'm not

15:27

a good liar What live I

15:29

told you that you've ever believed your middle your

15:31

middle name is how your

15:33

secondhand maiden name is deceit how? Wow

15:38

you are a liar how pain

15:40

you are you're on record on

15:42

this podcast Saying

15:44

you're a good liar. I was lying It

15:53

happened again Oh

16:01

no. You're a great liar and now I'm at

16:03

an angle. Give

16:05

me ten seconds. Alright, we're

16:07

back. They used to call me Bob the Builder.

16:10

Six grade. We're back. Okay, so Cam broke the

16:12

couch again. He's caught two bodies on these couches

16:14

so far. I have two bodies caught, none sexual.

16:18

I don't think anybody's thinking that. My mind is

16:20

dark place. And, now

16:23

I am being abused by my own

16:26

microphone? Yeah, I think this is the

16:28

second thing you've broken today. What's

16:31

the first? Your car. Cam

16:34

can't drive and I've been saying this forever. He's the worst driver

16:36

in the group. Okay, now y'all are being mean. You can't drive.

16:38

You're a bad driver. I'm not a bad

16:40

driver. You see a bad driver? I'm not a bad driver.

16:42

He's not the best. He doesn't... Does he

16:44

not get into other people's lanes every time? Yeah.

16:47

That is a full... No. Cam, when you were

16:50

a teacher, you couldn't make your faults. You've gotten

16:52

better. Did you not, on

16:54

the way back from work every day when you'd come here to this

16:56

work... Your TikTok. Your TikTok the whole

16:58

time. You didn't even know what the road looked like. No, can I

17:00

come tell you the car in front of me? Switch

17:13

it. Oh, we can. That

17:16

shit is done. Of

17:19

all the times it's... Oh,

17:21

it's so done. It's so

17:24

broken. In the worst part,

17:26

I don't know if y'all remember the first time it broke.

17:28

It's been good ever since. Now it's just... It's

17:31

done. All

17:35

right, we're back. So, I've broken the

17:38

couch at least four

17:40

times now in the last four minutes.

17:42

We had to do some Jerry rigging.

17:44

Careful. Jerry rigging? Yeah. What

17:47

was the... That's the only version of it. What

17:49

is... I'm not gonna say our version, but... There's

17:51

different versions. Oh, my... There's a real version to that

17:53

version. But I'm gonna say... I'm not

17:55

gonna say it, but... Not in mixed company.

17:57

I'm the only one here. be

18:00

proud of it I'm just gonna say we're not

18:02

getting rid of these couches I don't know how

18:04

many times it break I will sit on the

18:06

ground before we get rid of these these are

18:08

a part of the you should know family just

18:10

as much as all of us yes these are

18:12

our couches and they've been been

18:15

with me through a lot his

18:17

couch is more of spit and liquids mine is

18:19

more just destruction cams driving skills are just as

18:21

about as sturdy as that couches I don't know

18:23

what that out there no it is not first

18:25

off I have gotten better yes I've gotten a

18:28

lot better because I really did sit down one

18:30

day I was like I just is dangerous yeah

18:32

you're putting other people's lives here is so I

18:34

stopped now I listen to my music but before

18:36

it wasn't like I was I didn't have a

18:38

phone down here I'm not making

18:40

excuses by any means it'd be right

18:43

here to where it's like and we told them

18:45

every time it's honestly just my ADHD I get

18:47

so bored behind the wheel which is kind of

18:49

a bullshit thing you're an iPhone baby I am

18:51

I'm a tablet boy for sure yeah that I

18:54

stopped I'm listening to music now but no uh for

18:56

last like four years couldn't tell you a single car

18:58

is in front of me but but I I'm saying

19:01

the secret service stuff and all that because I do feel

19:03

like I would be a good like secret service member I

19:05

feel like I could scare some people I could put fear

19:07

into people's hearts I

19:10

don't even know I don't know I don't know if

19:12

you know enough about our own country I

19:14

do I have to be a historian no but I

19:16

think you need to know about your soil before what I

19:18

would have to know oh my god

19:20

I'm not gonna use history let me test

19:23

you let me give you an American citizen

19:25

test okay all

19:29

right I pulled up one of the one of the first

19:31

links when I searched it up which gonna go a good

19:33

old classic US American citizen

19:35

test okay that's why like you

19:37

can't serve our country being a

19:40

secret double cross-eyed black I'm

20:01

so lucky! What

20:04

are you doing? I'm gonna see it burning. Hail

20:06

Hydra! I'm simply speaking about

20:08

hailing shit. What

20:13

is your problem, Cam? I'm

20:16

speaking of GI Joe. If

20:18

you know, you know. GI Joe. Did they say

20:20

that? Okay. GI Joe, Snake Eyes.

20:23

I meant the black suited guy. Snake Eyes.

20:25

I was just trying to throw some things

20:27

in there. Breathe with me. Slow

20:30

down and breathe. I do remember the Pledge of

20:32

Allegiance though. I pledge allegiance to our flag of

20:34

the United States of America, and to the

20:36

pre-public for which it stands. Who

20:38

is the pre-public? Who the hell is that?

20:40

It was public. It was before the Republic.

20:43

And to the Republic for which it stands,

20:45

one nation, under God, indivisible, for one nation.

20:47

For one nation? What is a lation? One

20:49

nation under God, indivisible. You said it so

20:51

wrong. Wait. I pledge allegiance to our flag

20:53

of the United States of America. First off,

20:55

it's two duff-flats. Come on. Let

20:57

me finish. You don't own the flag. You did nothing

20:59

to make that flag. You just get to appreciate it.

21:01

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States

21:03

of America, and to the Republic for which it stands,

21:06

one nation, under God, to

21:17

the Republic for liberty and justice

21:19

for all. Close.

21:22

Close. It's a little bit of cold vibes in there.

21:25

You all stand up and be like, I

21:28

pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. It's like

21:30

we're at 7 a.m. I'm looking at this whiteboard. All right. So

21:33

we're going to do a simple American citizens test.

21:35

I think it's fair to say you can't

21:37

be working for our government behind enemy lines

21:39

doing some trickery if you don't even know

21:41

enough about our own. So

21:44

if I get a good percentage on this, I can be the

21:46

secret service. You can be a secret service. Okay, this is my

21:49

test. Okay, here we go. And I love America. Here

21:51

we go. The idea of self-government

21:53

is the first three words of

21:55

the Constitution. What are those words? First

21:59

three words. Oh, um, oh It's

22:03

the Bill of Rights. It's like it says Some

22:06

shall we the people Okay

22:12

one down here we go service here I come baby. What is

22:14

an amendment? Huh?

22:17

What is it? I mean like freedom of speech gun

22:19

control? What

22:21

is an amendment? Oh, it's like a law

22:23

of the country don't know don't listen Tell

22:25

me what an amendment is define an amendment

22:27

is like a principle that we live off

22:30

of in America incorrect Think

22:34

about it an amendment we're amending something. What

22:36

does that mean? You're getting closer amendment? You're

22:40

getting close you're not grabbing what is an amendment?

22:42

That's what I'm asking you seven amendments No, there's

22:44

not ten amendments a lot more 20. I

22:47

don't know the correct answer I know it's more than seven an

22:50

amendment. Yes, it's like a law But

22:53

it's like it's like derives from what something

22:55

has to happen for us to amend something.

22:57

Oh because we came from British You're

23:00

getting close like a weird outer track like

23:02

you're the kid that's like running with the

23:04

no Okay, so we were in Britain and

23:06

then we were like we ain't with that.

23:09

So then we were amending those so that

23:11

means we're changing it Change

23:15

or in addition to the con and we won that war Hello,

23:18

we want low fine colors. What do we

23:20

call the first ten amendments of the US

23:22

Constitution Bill of Rights? Secret

23:25

service here we come here we

23:27

go. What is one right? What is

23:29

one right or freedom from the first

23:31

amendment? Huh? We've

23:35

got a question. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What

23:37

is one right or freedom from the first amendment

23:40

freedom of speech? freedom

23:42

of press Yeah

23:47

How many amendments are in the Constitution?

23:51

This is your time hundred way

23:53

too many. No 50. 25 you're very close 20 30

24:00

minutes. Way too many. You're

24:03

getting close to 27. There you go. We'll count

24:05

that as such an odd number. That's not right. That's not a

24:07

good question. It took you eight times a year. Here we go.

24:10

What are the two rights in the Declaration of Independence? The

24:17

Declaration of Independence lists certain

24:19

unalienable rights. These

24:21

rights include the light. Oh,

24:24

unalienable rights. Come on.

24:27

You got it. Freedom in the pursuit of happiness.

24:29

That's one. That was one. The pursuit

24:31

of happiness? That's one. Oh,

24:34

it's something in the pursuit of happiness. Will

24:37

Smith was in it. There you go. He was

24:39

selling those machines. He had a bad shirt. He slept in a subway.

24:42

He cried in front of the interview. Come on. He

24:44

got evicted. Think about it. Think

24:46

about it. Think about really selling that

24:48

machine. Oh. Think about

24:50

it. Capitalism. Absolutely not. Absolutely

24:53

not. Pursuit of happiness. Give me the

24:55

first word. It's the name of the

24:57

machine. It's the name of the machine. The first word.

24:59

It's the name of the WNBA team. The

25:01

pelicans. No, the WNBA. Pursuit of happiness

25:03

in a bird? What are they writing up there? Oh, it's a

25:06

bald eagle. Pursuit. No. Wrong

25:09

bird. Wrong league. WNBA. The

25:12

New York. Indiana Fever. The New York.

25:14

The New York. Mix.

25:16

America's team. The New York. The

25:18

New York. The New York. The

25:21

New York. The New York. The New

25:23

York. The New York. The

25:25

New York. The New York. The

25:27

New York. Oh, Liberty. I

25:30

genuinely did not think you were going to

25:32

say the NBA again. Liberty? And

25:35

the pursuit of happiness. Pursuit of happiness,

25:37

liberty and guns. No! No.

25:41

Pursuit of happiness here. Let's go. It's

25:43

the funx way. Here we

25:45

go. So we're just chilling. We're drinking some

25:47

Diet Coke. We're hanging out, you know. Luca got

25:49

to lay up. Here we go. Pursuit

25:51

of happiness, liberty and justice. That's close

25:54

but no. Let's try again. Okay. Here

25:56

we go. Second quarter.

25:58

Kyrie hit a step back we're

26:01

eating some crinkle-cut fries there we go

26:03

pursue the happiness Liberty and God

26:08

one more free speech what no

26:10

alienation no no couple

26:13

wall cut that CJ here we

26:19

go Oh immigration I'm gonna give you

26:21

the first letter gun control stop saying

26:24

climate change no no we make the

26:26

clouds though here we go stop

26:28

speaking is this the sales maybe 18th we're in

26:30

overtime now okay we're in overtime are we in

26:32

the NBA one point game Lucas going for the

26:35

step back you already named the WNBA team not

26:37

the Knicks or the Pelicans liberty here we go

26:39

ready yeah games on the

26:41

line oh god I got it I got it Lucas about

26:44

to shoot the setback first letters L pursue the happiness Liberty

26:46

and freedom life

26:49

life yeah life in

26:51

the freedom well it got a little the country didn't

26:53

do that guy did a couple more here we go

26:55

couple more give me two more here

26:58

we go and if I

27:00

get one of these two right I'm in the

27:02

in the zoo is in charge of the executive

27:04

branch the police they're

27:07

in the exact no judges in court

27:09

to judicial the president president the president doesn't count

27:12

doesn't count there's a guy right here we go

27:14

for all the marble this over it right does

27:16

he stick to podcasting or does he get handed

27:18

a cool badge a passport and get to go

27:21

on a f22 I don't

27:23

know those are okay well here we go take

27:25

on Air Force One how many ready

27:28

yep how many US senators are

27:30

there didn't

27:35

know there was more than one I thought

27:38

there was a senator okay no he's not

27:40

gonna get a senator not really sure what

27:43

goes ahead they go take it to the

27:45

Senate he's just like what the fuck

27:47

like I have so

27:49

many bills no there's a Senate multiple

27:52

people I don't know what goes on in that house

27:54

okay I'll give you one one clue the

27:57

Senate has blank members each

28:00

Representing a state equally. Oh 52

28:03

Okay, one will have 50 states, but Puerto Rico

28:05

and I'll do And

28:07

they don't have a certain all dem Puerto

28:09

Rico and dem Puerto

28:11

Rico and gang them on folks

28:14

grave and no 50

28:16

states that we have so your next guess

28:18

50 incorrect 48

28:22

Why are we losing state Alaska? Oh

28:24

everybody has to 120 hundred

28:30

Okay, y'all gotta let us know does he get his bad

28:32

and his cool past? I at least get to go to

28:34

basic training you at least get to go to the school.

28:36

Yeah that you would fail quick Oh,

28:39

you'd fail that quick. Why is it physical? To

28:42

be a secret service. I've seen some of the

28:45

secret service. Have you seen Tom Cruise? Have

28:47

you watched a secret secret service member?

28:49

No Oh imagine if Tom Cruise that

28:51

regular actor is flying off the Burj

28:54

Magali Khalifa Whatever that building's called in

28:56

Dubai. That's not secret service I'm

28:58

saying if you can't even do what Tom Cruise

29:00

is doing Tom Cruise isn't even doing what the

29:02

real guys are doing Those are dogs. Yeah,

29:05

no, most of the bag doberman's Pinchers

29:07

and you're going in as a aren't you

29:10

Amy? Oh But

29:13

you'd fail no, I want to I want a fake arm

29:18

Like you see you're sure they get fake arms I Saw

29:21

it on Facebook you mean to

29:23

tell me you think when you pass Sniper

29:27

school secret service school. Yeah, they

29:29

go. Here's your baton your

29:31

diploma and your fake limb And they just

29:33

give you a fake arm a

29:35

fake arm is something you earn through courage and bravery

29:38

Oh and probably an ID or something, you

29:40

know something went off you lost your also

29:42

in fate on Facebook Why

29:44

it always it always it still gets me

29:46

I never repost them but it's like I

29:49

hate those posts It's like repost this or

29:51

your family's gonna burn in a fire cuz

29:53

I'm like if they do I should

29:56

have reposted it Do you ever see those? It's

29:58

like God's watching you Repost

30:00

this or three people you love are dying.

30:03

What Facebook algorithm do you have? Oh

30:05

I'm on 62 year old Facebook. You

30:08

ever see 60 year olds on Facebook? They

30:10

are nasty. Double tap this picture or

30:13

your niece drowns? Yeah that's what you're saying.

30:15

You haven't seen those? Never in

30:17

my life. I've seen the gods watching share if

30:19

you love Christ or he'll deny you at the

30:21

pearly gate. I've seen that.

30:23

I've never seen like the image and share

30:25

it or your dog gets decapitated. I've never

30:27

seen that. Oh yeah. You're the biggest

30:29

foul. You are on

30:32

a troubling algorithm. Do you remember Reddit 50-50? I

30:35

got wild to Reddit 50-50. Oh we had a Clevver.

30:37

We had a crazy night in Seminole on Reddit 50-50.

30:40

We did? I did not know what it was and then you

30:42

brought it to me. Oh we did that? It showed me in

30:44

Seminole. We were cuddling the blanket. Oh I was hard. My,

30:47

oh what? Oh what? There's

30:49

too much? Oh okay. Oh I

30:53

was soft as a bumblebee. There

30:56

was no blood flow in the brain. It all

30:59

left me. It all left me. I

31:01

got numb. Shoulders up. That's what I

31:03

felt in my leg. Oh yeah. You felt

31:05

it somewhere else too. This is getting too much. We need to change

31:07

the topic. Reddit 50-50. Reddit 50-50. Scary

31:10

thing. Because

31:12

whenever I was in middle school in Reddit 50-50 it was pretty f***ing f***ing I

31:16

saw some things. Cartel doesn't play. Yeah

31:18

it was like. Yikes. It

31:20

was like beheading or a kid blowing out

31:22

birthday candles. Yeah. Someone literally

31:24

getting splatted by a train. Yeah. But

31:28

it was always that thrill. Sick game. It was

31:30

that thrill. Sick game. I found a

31:32

lot of websites back there. You have bad dopamine issues. You

31:34

have bad dopamine issues. Sick so? Thrill?

31:36

I'm gonna go find black tar one. You were 9 years

31:39

old talking about. Oh

31:41

I hope it's a train. What are you

31:43

doing? You didn't just boot up Madden. Oh

31:46

no. NFL street NBA live 2007. No

31:48

because I remember the day I stopped playing video

31:50

games. It was NCAA like 2012. Good

31:53

game. It was like Colt McCoy. I was playing with

31:55

him. Great game. Playing that some

31:57

bitch. But I remember I was playing with a nighttime. because

32:00

I like playing at the nighttime football games. And

32:02

I was the Texas Longhorns. And Colt McCoy had

32:04

like six interceptions and I could not beat USC.

32:07

I was like, bro, this is pissing me off. And I got

32:09

so mad that I wasn't good at video games and my brother

32:11

was so good. And I went down to my parents' room and

32:13

I cried for like an hour. And I was like, the game

32:15

won't let me win. And I never

32:17

played video games after that trauma. Trauma response. Follow

32:20

me on Twitch. I just wanna get something straight.

32:24

So it was 2012, right? Yeah. You

32:27

were a freshman in high school.

32:29

Oh. You were an eighth

32:31

grader? Yeah. Crying to

32:33

your parents over video games? I

32:35

wasn't emotional though. You were every bit of 12 or 13 years old crying

32:39

at a football game? I was still

32:41

going into my parents' bed for nightmares.

32:44

I was laying at the foot of their bed

32:46

like a Doberman, like a good old Labrador. I

32:48

was like, mama, scared. Mama

32:50

scared, hold me now? Yeah. My

32:53

dad was probably trying to get his shit off and I was like,

32:55

let me get right there. He's like, god. He's

32:58

like, fuck. Bro, I, hey, did

33:00

you actually do that though? I'd

33:02

always lay down with my mom because my dad was still

33:04

away at work or in the second family, whatever the hell

33:06

he was doing. Don't put down Mike, he's a good man.

33:08

He's a great man. He was always at work. So it's

33:11

time for me to lay down. I'd always lay down with

33:13

my mom. Watch some bullshit show like Castle or like Law

33:15

and Order or something like that. And I'd fall asleep. My

33:17

dad would always pick me up and

33:19

just get me some straight to my bed. I'd be pissed

33:21

when he moved me. Oh my god, that's not gonna happen.

33:23

He would remove you? Oh, he'd literally pick me up and

33:25

take me and just toss me my own bed. He's like,

33:27

you're getting my spot hot. He said,

33:29

I'm working 14 hours a day for this family

33:31

and I come home to a heater. He said,

33:33

it's bullshit. He said, do you like sleeping

33:35

on warm beds? Well, no, dad, then stay on your own.

33:38

That's what I remember of that. Yeah, it was, oh

33:41

my, sorry CJ. Oh,

33:43

can I? Yeah, you're gonna lose your thought.

33:46

You know, don't lose your thought. It's okay. I

33:48

have a very vulnerable thing to share. I'm honestly kind

33:50

of scared. I like when you're vulnerable. I'm honestly kind of

33:52

scared. It leaves me room for bullying. It goes back to

33:55

the football games. Okay. Two things, two

33:57

funny and embarrassing things. Something's happening. In the

33:59

college football. Do you remember how you lived in

34:01

your dorm? Yes. You could choose to go to class

34:03

or go to practice. Yes. Like get plus two on

34:05

your route running. Yeah. Or get higher GPA. Yeah. I

34:07

was always in the library. Oh yeah. Even as a

34:09

kid. I always went to school. To hell with the

34:12

route. God, I'll beat the computer. You suck. Second thing

34:14

is, that career ended. I got drafted. I made a

34:16

new guy. I made the receiver black because I thought

34:18

it made him faster. I

34:20

swear to God, I'm not kidding. It

34:23

was a poor, I was, it

34:25

was a time of my own. I don't know if

34:27

we keep that. I don't know. Maybe just mute it,

34:29

but God's honest truth. I said, why do I always

34:32

start with a 67 speed? I

34:34

said, I know he's at least 85. And

34:39

I was burning motherfucker on

34:41

go routes. I tell you,

34:44

I was in the end zone like

34:46

no other. I don't even know if

34:48

I want to respond to that. I don't know if

34:50

we can keep it. Yeah, I don't know. It just

34:52

sparked a memory. I felt like being vulnerable. I'm doing

34:54

it with you. You're not looking at me with the

34:56

best of looks right now. I'm

34:59

just learning something about you every week that

35:01

you might, it was behind closed doors experimentation.

35:03

Where were you January? That's

35:11

where I saw that Viking helmet in your closet. Hey,

35:13

what have you, what have you really, there was like

35:15

a theory, right? What if I couldn't tell you? And

35:18

I was like, uh, I was like, I was totally

35:20

playing basketball. You're like, no, you weren't. And I'm like,

35:22

okay, I was, I was here with Liv. Like

35:25

nothing was going in, right? January 6th, Liv's like, oh,

35:27

I was in Oklahoma, my family. You were by yourself.

35:30

Remember, he said you went on a trip and it

35:32

all kept going. And then what did you went and

35:34

started researching about footage? And

35:37

I was like this, like it was like a from a movie.

35:39

I was just like this. I'm like, this

35:42

is my face. And he saw it real quick for like

35:44

one frame. I'm like, oh, I go back out. That's

35:49

why whenever we went to Washington, whenever we went to

35:51

the White House, you're like, it's not. No,

35:54

stop. You should

35:56

have seen this. I said, I've gone back and

35:58

forth. entry point right there in

36:01

that window. I said they think they want you to think

36:03

it's the front gate just to really be the left wing you gotta

36:05

go with it. We're gonna get knocked on the

36:07

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to the rest of the episode Okay,

38:11

I have a January 6 I was in my

38:13

own house. Let's clear the air. Let's just clear

38:15

the air I

38:17

have a question for you because you are the worst

38:19

driver I know What? No,

38:24

no, no, no, no, no, I've been going

38:26

to therapy It

38:30

was so genuine. I'm sorry. You said all right, you know, you're

38:32

the worst driver. I know I have a question for you I'm

38:37

sorry. It has to happen in a while. It just caught

38:39

me off guard. It caught me off guard. You were crying.

38:41

I was like I'm just gonna do it again you We

38:45

can't keep doing this. Dude, it's you

38:47

you like gas light me into this dude. I

38:49

feel it. No You

38:51

feel it No, it like

38:53

takes up my whole side, bro. I'm so

38:55

tired of this. I'm so sick and tired

38:57

of this It's taking up. It

38:59

takes up everything in me. I Got

39:04

you Hey, I'm a

39:06

brother's keeper. I got you. Don't worry

39:08

about it. Just say it again. Here we go. Don't do

39:10

anything We're gonna be good shit. There's only a cue. So

39:12

so You're

39:15

the worst of sheer the worst types of I felt it too.

39:17

Don't say okay I Spinning

39:27

Monthly I

39:30

look up tongue reduction searchers It

39:36

does exist and

39:38

I've thought about it I

39:57

Like I like that so no even better

39:59

even better You're like hey, we got a

40:01

we got a bulk record. We got to record

40:03

to the sticks We come like why hey just

40:05

worry about yourself. I face time you I see

40:07

like gauze in the background yourself And

40:10

you come over like what's up, Kim? Hey,

40:14

long and skinny yo Real

40:17

thing it is I don't want to talk about it,

40:19

bro It's not like it hurts me whenever we're in

40:21

public and people be like yeah, you're the guy with

40:24

the list I'm like y'all do that too much. I'm

40:26

allowed to And

40:28

mine's only genuine I never say hey

40:30

say say church is chicken Yeah, I

40:32

never do that it popped out. I'm

40:34

sorry it squeeze the giggle out

40:37

of me Let's move on you have a quick

40:39

God forbid I talk about your nipples, and then

40:41

we're all and now it's all hell It's not

40:43

you can talk about my nipples show them. They're

40:45

translucent. I'm not showing my nipples Okay, I

40:47

have a wife and a wife beater on they

40:49

don't quarterly Let's

40:53

leave that there. I have a question for you It

40:57

gets dry and it gets so bad you have

40:59

a question for me the worst driver You know

41:01

you're the worst driver. I know so I have

41:03

a question for you right and you drive fast

41:05

you do yeah, okay? Born

41:08

and raised so offensive say somebody came up

41:10

to you with an offer I

41:13

like I'll give you two hundred dollars

41:15

an hour of your life Yeah,

41:17

$200 an hour every day you're living every hour

41:20

you're living yes but

41:22

the second you but this Yes

41:28

But the second you break the speed

41:30

limit by one mile per hour Everything

41:33

in your bank account goes back to zero and

41:36

the only way you can get around is driving so there's

41:38

no loophole I'll take the bus. I'll drive the only walk

41:41

Heartbeat it would pain the shit out of me,

41:43

and I'd probably go to zero a couple times

41:46

But then I'd have to lock in and I'd

41:48

have to drive through the night if I

41:50

hit zero I'd have to live hey. I'll be back.

41:53

I'm on voyage like I gotta go drive for 72

41:56

hours straight to Rio bills are coming

41:58

out on Thursday a trip

42:00

down 35 in sightseeing.

42:02

I'm gonna go to Baylor Stadium and

42:04

turn around. Oh I'd be good

42:06

at my music at that point. You would put yourself

42:08

in a whole game. I don't think you realize that.

42:10

So $200 an hour is good money. It's really good

42:12

money. Very good money. If you drive for say four

42:14

hours a day how much is that? Quick

42:17

and easy math. Let's buy $8,000. That's $800. Too

42:21

many zeros in there. Long divisions always...

42:26

You did that to divide. Clear

42:28

multiplication. Two times four hours.

42:31

Add zeros. I added one. Okay

42:34

so say $800 a day right? First

42:36

off I would drive more than four hours a day. Okay just say.

42:40

And then $800 a week. $800 a

42:42

day that's seven times seven. Here's

42:44

your... 5400. 56. Close enough. Close enough. 56. Okay. And so you're making

42:50

that by four weeks in a month. How much

42:53

are we net? You're making about $20,000 a month. A

42:55

little higher. 25. A little lower.

42:57

24. Keep going. 23. A

43:00

little more. 22. Add a couple middle

43:02

ground in there. 21. A little higher.

43:04

22 and a half. Oh

43:06

quick who's gonna go? Who gives a kid? Yeah yeah. So you're

43:08

making a lot of money right? Yes. You're

43:10

gonna start I know you and your

43:12

wife. Y'all do dumb shit. Right? Ouch.

43:15

Y'all have like massage memberships and shit

43:17

like that. Stupid investments that you don't

43:19

use. Right? And you don't use

43:21

it. I'm going Thursday. You actually booked this week

43:23

on Thursday. You

43:25

used it once and you've had it for like four months. No

43:28

I've had it longer than four. It's kind of troubling. But

43:30

it just saves you money on the back end. No it doesn't. Because

43:32

you don't use it. But they don't. I

43:34

don't care. Oh I don't care. The tokens roll over. Oh I don't care.

43:37

The tokens roll over. And

43:40

so you waste your money. You spend money on

43:42

stupid shit. You

43:44

don't use Amazon so much. You

43:47

would put yourself in a hole because you would start to

43:50

live in the mind space of I'm making

43:52

all this money. But then you would get

43:54

an end. You're not a punctual person. You're not.

43:56

And so you'd be like I'm late. Gotta

44:00

go to here and you'd hit that speed and then

44:02

zero and then you have all these monthly things that

44:04

are already piled up And you have it you have

44:06

a streaming service for every streaming service that has ever

44:08

existed We do have all nine the

44:10

power nine. I say all I'd

44:12

say is cam is filthy rich That

44:15

is not a really not that if you have a massage

44:17

membership, you're rich. I don't care what you say It's seven.

44:19

Do I have a massage membership? No, not rich. Oh, you

44:21

wanna play the game? How many streaming services do I have?

44:23

Do you wanna play the game? Do you wanna play the

44:25

game? Do you want to play the game? No no no,

44:27

how many streaming services do I have? I

44:30

don't know zero. Okay. I pay for none. Okay.

44:32

See that again Netflix. You got this? You

44:35

don't pay for it, right? Mm-hmm. Are you in the same household as

44:37

the owner? No. Take it

44:40

off his hands right now Was it was there

44:42

even a was that like a would you rather was there a second part?

44:45

I just genuinely wanted to know because that you're

44:47

such a bad driver And I hate when it's

44:49

your day to drive to the studio and I

44:51

was like, bro He's fast and in this other

44:53

person's lane. I and he's on his phone. I'm

44:55

not on regards speaking of cars Okay, do you

44:57

remember the other day? We

44:59

had that smell Him

45:13

What indeed These

45:16

are made of George Washington. Oh my god, you

45:18

know we were driving back from the studio the

45:20

other day Holy shit, those are worse than I've

45:22

ever sold my life. Hey, matter of fact start

45:24

before even driving We were walking up to you

45:26

and Peyton's grilling my ass, but you stink dog

45:28

He was in here like we're in the studio

45:31

leaving stinks. I'm hitting I'm hitting pit

45:33

checks I'm like, I know I sweated but I don't smell

45:35

bad. It was bad We get all the way to the

45:37

parking garage going down the elevator. Why don't you think

45:39

like he's so out It was one of

45:41

those cinches that piss you off like it

45:43

literally smells. I'm gonna a cock in their

45:46

pants It doesn't it doesn't smell of earth.

45:48

Yeah, it's created in a lab Like

45:50

it's not natural naturally You can kind of

45:53

let it slide because we're all the earth,

45:55

but this shit was a formula like it

45:57

was not real So he's just

45:59

grilling Whole time we finally get in the car,

46:01

and I'm tired of it. I go bro. I don't I don't

46:03

think I think it's you I think it's

46:05

you you're talking about this thing I don't even smell it

46:07

half the time and then right as I'm saying that I

46:09

go I Go

46:12

is is that me this

46:14

little creep in the back seat

46:16

the whole time Hasn't spoke up

46:18

nothing and it finally clicks not

46:20

go Is

46:23

it he goes No, it's not

46:25

CJ. It's not CJ And then CJ pulls

46:27

up behind his ear and they're like talking shit. He

46:29

goes Over

46:34

a skunk or something and I look back

46:36

at CJ. He's popping mints and gum

46:38

and shit. He's like And

46:41

then he's just silent bro. It was CJ's

46:43

breath, and he tried to blame it on

46:46

me and you you

46:48

sick Disgusting yuck

46:50

mouthbasket, bro. It was the pool.

46:52

We were driving. I rolled my window

46:54

down I was like gross. Oh you

46:56

were you were crying laughing at

46:58

how bad it Oh

47:54

How much you dirty So

48:00

we drank so this before I could still

48:02

go talk to my wife without getting struck

48:05

That could have got you in jail like that

48:07

could have been that could have been a criminal

48:09

offense Yo, I can't wait till we start getting

48:12

DJ out of the pod because he's a wicked

48:14

creature Oh my god, he is a wicked green.

48:16

We're built in a lab his calves are out

48:18

of After otherworldly okay, Brett's

48:20

otherworldly we love we love him feeling

48:22

like animals this shit All right, just

48:25

kind of would you rather hold is better than my car situation?

48:28

I think your car was just talking shit about me I

48:30

think you made up this little offer just to get your

48:32

rocks off on me about being a bad driver You're a

48:34

horrible driver can smack the shit out of a pole Perking

48:37

in here today. I didn't smack the pole. I

48:40

scraped the pole. He can't you've been reversed That's

48:42

the first time my car didn't beep I

48:45

know I looked first and then I was just so focused on

48:47

the car cuz there's a pole here I was like, I'm not

48:50

gonna hit a pole Oh

48:55

So Animals, right?

48:57

Yeah, I love animals. They're so cute.

48:59

Okay. I love animals more if You

49:03

were to put your brain in another

49:05

animals body What animal like Kingdom

49:07

do you think you can survive the best in you've

49:09

been watching too much sci-fi? No, I can't just

49:11

say that Okay, can I say mine? So

49:14

I'm taking my brain my thoughts putting into

49:17

a body of a creature It's like literally

49:19

everything you see think feel everything You're just

49:21

your body is whatever animal you choose and

49:24

the best way you think you can

49:26

survive the best one I'm

49:29

stuck between two. I got mine. Oh you say yours grizzly

49:33

bears or bald eagles First

49:35

of all your head you would be like I'm not used

49:37

to having a head this small if you're a bald eagle

49:40

You'd like so aerodynamic I'm

49:43

like, whoa. Whoa and your shit driver. You

49:45

couldn't fly. Oh, I can see if My

49:49

arms were wings cam. I

49:51

was a tactile diver going straight into

49:53

fish and just Sniping

49:55

them. Oh my god, that should be lit.

49:57

No, I'm away from I can get away

49:59

from like that right now if

50:01

Harman sues me I kind of tense up I'm like

50:06

but if I'm an eagle I can just get the hell out of you and you're

50:08

too nice to be an eagle Lee knowing what's the mess with me cam

50:11

if you're a grizzly got a lot

50:13

of fish you get hunted quick I

50:15

don't like it no yeah no cuz

50:17

you're a people pleaser you'd be like

50:19

hey I like this picnic why

50:21

why why I

50:24

just wanted to sing

50:26

happy birthday to oh

50:30

you would be a good grizzly cuz you're an

50:32

eater to you would break into people's home I

50:34

get the shit out of that trash I'd be

50:37

a 12 gauge to your temple I'd

50:40

eat that I'd eat that shot a 12

50:42

gauge as a grizzly bear you know many layers

50:44

of blubber I have I care you

50:47

know what 12 gauge is yeah to your

50:49

temple grizzly but your temple shooting me in the head

50:51

that's what I just said to the

50:54

face probably not no definitely not literally they

50:56

would have to hit you in like one

50:58

area and you'd might be okay you

51:01

everywhere else you're gone you're sadly mistaken

51:03

on grizzly large creatures a lot

51:05

of extra that's tell you mine yeah yeah what the

51:07

hell are you gonna be and I really want to

51:09

do it I would I really

51:11

want to be a hippo I feel

51:13

like I would survive the best as a hippo you

51:16

want to be a hippo love hippos how

51:20

give me give me your first thought

51:22

why would you be a good hippo

51:24

most dangerous animal most dangerous mammal land

51:26

mammal so you're just going

51:28

pat your own power approach yes because I'm

51:30

already in a of massive and

51:33

so I'm already sorry the

51:38

most the most common thing you have with

51:41

hippos you're already naked all the time so

51:43

your skin's already so worst thing about hippo

51:45

you can't swim hippos love water they don't

51:47

swim they both swim they get in the

51:49

water they don't swim hippo swims like a boat

51:51

like a motor is that right hippos go pause

51:55

to be a land hippo and he'd be the

51:58

weakest of hippos you'd be an easy target first off You

52:00

you could you even imagine carrying

52:02

900 pounds of muscle could

52:04

you admit you want to talk about me my head

52:06

my aerodynamics of an eagle I'm getting there. No, you're

52:08

not hippos are fast too, and I'm fast bald eagles

52:11

are faster I'm not fighting you

52:13

a hippo versus a bald eagle care

52:15

baldy Cameron Cameron Cameron.

52:17

I'm actually being on and me too I'm

52:19

a boat a hook cannot do shit against

52:21

an let's put it in an enclosed space.

52:24

Let's put it in an enclosed space So

52:26

tell me tell me one way that a hippo can

52:28

do anything to an eagle honestly mouth Huh,

52:31

you catch that wing you're done. You stomp on

52:33

it done. That's 900 pounds versus. What

52:35

is a bald eagle 30 pounds Okay, if you're

52:38

uh if you're Houdini the hippo and you have

52:40

perfect speed you're just like camp hippos

52:42

are big Slow creatures when

52:44

they're with their movements comparative to a

52:46

bald eagle I will come down

52:49

like a missile every time go straight in

52:51

an enclosed space exactly I can close my

52:53

eyes I Could

52:55

still stab your eye. What is your eyelid made of

52:57

steel? What hippo are you

52:59

you go like that? I'm opening my mouth.

53:01

Have you seen there's a whole game called

53:03

hungry hungry hippos I know you didn't get

53:06

a golf ball. They're not getting bald eagle

53:08

camp. They're grabbing a little puck camp Okay,

53:10

say it's an enclosed space right a UFC

53:12

ring with a dome on it. Let's say to you

53:14

Are you gonna do an eagle I can

53:16

I'm gonna corner you and walk you down.

53:18

Oh walk me down like I can't fly

53:21

You can't fly if there's an enclosed space I'm

53:24

not the cause it's not in clothes. I said with a dome

53:27

on it listen to instructions bitch. How big is the dome? How

53:30

much flying space I have cuz you're happy

53:32

you're making TV. You're creating an arena. That's

53:34

benefiting you No, you can fly around. I'm

53:37

in the Coliseum. Is there a

53:39

dome on the cause we're all great fights started Let's

53:41

say there's no dome on the Coliseum, but I

53:43

can't leave the cause a hippo is more powerful

53:45

in every aspect than a bald eagle Exactly,

53:48

but it's the fact of surprise That's

53:50

like a ninja versus a rote like a

53:52

Greek hoplite. I said ninja ninja versus hoplite

53:54

hoplite I don't even know what a hoplite

53:56

is. What is a hoplite? Is that

53:58

a special light in some states? No nothing to

54:00

do with illumination. And why do we why did

54:02

a Greek hoplite? I don't know what that

54:05

is say like an insect or something a great Greek warrior. Yeah

54:08

Because I think of like a grasshopper when you say that

54:11

hoplite Our

54:14

fireflies still around What's

54:17

the last time you seen a firefly let's put that out there,

54:19

you know what I mean You've

54:22

never seen a firefly. Oh you haven't had the magic.

54:24

Oh, not since I was a kid I almost lost

54:26

my virginity near a firefly one time. I was like

54:28

that has to be a sign That

54:32

has to be a sign Yeah,

54:36

it was in the parking lot of a Dunkin

54:38

donuts You're

54:49

getting off the sizzling snap and

54:51

bacon In

54:54

a blueberry coffee. No one time I was gonna

54:56

best my parking lot cops showed up Sure

55:04

getting off in strange locations you have to do what

55:06

you have to do Oh, you never you all never

55:09

went to a parking lot and got nasty best buy

55:11

in car. Oh, yeah me neither. Oh Why

55:15

you so much just left

55:17

you so much information I'm gonna spray my ankle

55:19

in the back of my Jeep once I try

55:21

to get active in there Not

55:25

a lot of room for athletic, you know what I

55:28

mean do you ever got caught on a seatbelt

55:32

You're trying to get up and mount you hit the

55:34

little wheel cover you like Oh Okay,

55:45

all right, sorry, oh, it's all jokes. No,

55:47

this is me. Oh, yes It

55:50

did you blueberry coffee snap when sizzling

55:52

bacon making lover I was no but

55:54

I was like about to get active and then I saw a

55:56

firefly and I was like you would

55:58

not believe you're a She was

56:01

like, it is a hair out here now. Why are you

56:03

singing? Is

56:05

this too much? Am I going too far? Am

56:08

I going too far? Can we keep any of that?

56:10

We can keep all of it. You, God, your mind

56:12

is a beautiful place. I'm just telling jokes, brother. Oh,

56:16

you're telling stories. There's a big difference. You

56:19

ever got stung by a mosquito trying to

56:21

make love? My God. You're

56:23

like, damn. I gotta go to the doctor in

56:25

the morning because I couldn't tell if it was...

56:28

Am I burning when I pee because of the mosquito

56:30

or did she get me? He

56:33

stung you on it? Oh my God. It's a

56:36

juice-iest part of me. It's most blood. They

56:38

want the blood. This is insane.

56:40

He stung you on your little brother. He

56:43

stung you on your twin brother. No,

56:45

yeah. F***ing the

56:47

forest? Like, what are you doing? You never got active

56:49

on a park bench? I thought you'd never get... A

56:52

park? What's the time? Oh,

56:55

midday. No, you're there at about

56:57

5pm. That's still plenty of

56:59

light outside. Oh, yeah. You

57:01

should be arrested. Not through. You

57:04

should know podcast. And

57:07

we're back! Alright.

57:10

So you think you'd be a good girl? I'll be

57:12

the best. You can't swim. You're always

57:14

naked. Question. What do hippos eat?

57:17

First off, you eat like a bird. You don't even eat

57:19

what... You eat like a f***ing crow.

57:21

You cannot be a hippo. I

57:24

am a grizzly. I eat a lot of s***. I can eat

57:26

like a bear. You'd

57:28

be outcasted by the pride of hippos.

57:31

You'd be completely out... Look at

57:33

that freaking berries and s***. You'd

57:35

be over there... Pretty

57:38

berry plant. Oh, look

57:40

at that eagle. Too slow. You'd be

57:42

the worst hippo ever. You'd be

57:44

the worst hippo ever. No, hippos eat people.

57:48

You got something to say, Hannibal Lecter? What are you out

57:51

in yourself? What if I'm an animal? I

57:53

can. I...

57:55

I genuinely think... I'll chew on your hip.

57:59

Your misconception... perception of wildlife is

58:01

fascinating. I do have a question

58:03

about wildlife. And

58:05

like, and I'm sorry my brain's going so

58:07

strange right now. Very. Are

58:11

birds asexual? Do

58:14

birds make love? Have you ever seen that

58:17

happen? Yeah. You've seen birds

58:19

make love. Raven, city birds and crows when you

58:21

charge with a USB? Never seen that. Yeah.

58:24

Never seen that. They're worried about getting soiled. That's what

58:26

I'm saying. And hanging out on the electrical lines. That's

58:29

what they're doing. They're birds. They have the whole mating

58:31

ritual thingies. Yeah, but I'm thinking that's more. They've blocked

58:33

those feathers and. I'm thinking

58:35

that's more of like, we're going on a date.

58:37

Like we go together now. But I've never seen

58:39

a bird even give birth. Let me take you

58:41

to this place called electricity bar. We're

58:44

going to go stand on a line and just fucking

58:46

hang out. And giraffes. Are

58:49

giraffes asexual? Do giraffes make

58:52

coitus? That's the biggest

58:55

sex ever. That is some

58:57

big sex, dog. That is

58:59

some big ass sex. Giraffe.

59:04

That's how you start a forest fire right there. Oh, mine

59:06

went to a dark place. Oh, what? Uh,

59:08

I'm going to go yes on birds. Yes. You

59:11

never seen a bird's nest? Yeah,

59:13

but I didn't know. I didn't know if they did that themselves

59:15

though. You think she's going to rub it up against a red

59:17

oak and then pop it out. Leaving

59:20

eggs in the tree. That's a lot of animal planet,

59:22

but I've never seen that scene. I've

59:24

never seen. How hard is it going to be to keep

59:27

a gimbal on a bird as they're going

59:29

to have sex and make youth? I've

59:31

never seen a bird be a

59:33

plumber and then go fix the

59:35

house and be like, I like you. You're

59:38

not. You're

59:40

not. So

59:43

you say your husband's in a home, right? This

59:46

thing might take two hands down here. You mind

59:48

giving me a look? Wait.

59:52

This is sick, every time. Jim gets back at

59:54

six, right? Four fifty.

59:58

Birds don't have plumbing to take care of. Birds

1:00:00

the man probably goes and finds the food the mom

1:00:03

stays home and ah with the

1:00:05

children That's it. I just never

1:00:07

say and like giraffe magic giraffes and

1:00:09

cows and stuff I've never seen like

1:00:11

a cow cow gets down. I've never

1:00:13

seen it cow gets down probably lazy

1:00:15

sex Flick

1:00:21

of the utter He's

1:00:26

like damn it Watch

1:00:30

this with your children Yeah,

1:00:34

this might be oh So

1:00:37

animal sex we can't record when our tour

1:00:39

bar brains are horrible That's

1:00:42

quick. That's probably that's probably scary. They

1:00:44

are there. Have you seen lions? Have

1:00:47

you seen what a like a male

1:00:49

so I saw this video a lioness is laying

1:00:52

sunbathing enjoying waiting for food or fun Mm-hmm

1:00:54

one of the s there may be another

1:00:56

f2 animals are fun Did

1:00:58

you not see that thing in that little crab? No,

1:01:01

there's a video of a crab in a in a

1:01:03

case like a fish tank So I'm called it yeah

1:01:05

a case in the water purifier

1:01:07

shooting up to purify the water in

1:01:09

the crab literally crawls over He had shot up

1:01:12

floats down goes back and keeps

1:01:14

having fun. It's like a built-in. I don't think that's

1:01:16

what was happening I think our human brains made it

1:01:18

seem like he was having fun. He might have what

1:01:20

was that crab doing disoriented? Cuz

1:01:27

I'm not cognitive reasoning like if I do that again

1:01:30

it won't happen so they want to keep going back

1:01:33

Crab you definitely have a funny hanging out.

1:01:35

He's in a two-foot by

1:01:37

two-foot box He could have been having the worst of

1:01:39

his life. We're like look at him have fun He

1:01:41

could have been trying to escape could have been trying

1:01:43

to He's like why am I in

1:01:45

this tank? Alright

1:01:50

so you already know I've tried to get you to

1:01:52

watch it me and live been watching a ton

1:01:54

of Bridgerton Oh my god, it's something that I

1:01:56

absolutely love from there is the insult old

1:01:59

English Insults are

1:02:02

I would pay money for them to like come

1:02:04

back to present day. What are old English insoles

1:02:06

like art thou stinketh box Stinketh

1:02:10

box you're not too far off. Okay,

1:02:12

okay. I'm gonna name some old English

1:02:14

insoles I want you to guess what

1:02:17

they mean. Okay, you fop doodle You

1:02:22

fop doodle you fop doodle it's like

1:02:25

is that like an idiot close a

1:02:27

fool Okay, I'll fop doodle. This one

1:02:29

should be pretty self-explanatory. Oh

1:02:32

you nasty bed swerver You

1:02:36

bed swerver is that like somebody who sleeps

1:02:38

around alive and adults are you know, I'm

1:02:40

a bed swarmer What's it called a bed

1:02:42

swerver and that's not a thing to hold

1:02:44

your hat on. Oh, no. Okay ready you

1:02:48

pillow you pillow

1:02:51

a Pillock

1:02:56

Hope you lock you billick like a

1:02:58

like a prick. It's like an idiot.

1:03:01

It says idiot derive from a Norwegian

1:03:03

slang word for penis Won't

1:03:06

you give my pillow cut out as you

1:03:08

touch my pillow? Alright,

1:03:11

what about a what about a grumble

1:03:13

Tony? It's a

1:03:17

grumble Tony. It has to be like somebody who's

1:03:19

grumpy all the time the meaning of this Okay,

1:03:23

yeah Hold on Hold

1:03:26

on. He's just read something. No, but it's not

1:03:29

telling me What does

1:03:31

that mean? I don't grumble. Okay. Okay

1:03:33

next one you be spoiler

1:03:36

you be smaller be smaller

1:03:40

You be smaller someone that's

1:03:42

sporadic in the brain No, no, I'm one

1:03:44

that spits when they talk My

1:03:51

list you mumble crust what is a mumble

1:03:53

crust a mumble crust somebody who's like illiterate

1:03:55

a toothless beggar You

1:04:02

got any shilling? You need quilter. You

1:04:04

got any quil for me? You got

1:04:06

quil? You... Oh

1:04:09

shut it you mumble crust.

1:04:11

That's so hurtful. What

1:04:14

about a blowsabella?

1:04:17

That could be crazy. A girl

1:04:20

that gets active. This is

1:04:22

a girl adulteur.

1:04:24

This is a spitefully gendered insult reserved for

1:04:26

women who have disheveled hair. He blowsabella.

1:04:29

You blowsabella. He blowsabella. Go to the

1:04:31

Modise and fix it. So her lace

1:04:34

is showing? Yeah, her lace is prying

1:04:36

for her glues not holding up. What

1:04:39

about a... What about a fustalux?

1:04:45

A fustalux. A fustalux. Somebody who's

1:04:48

always complaining. It's a

1:04:50

woman that is gross. He

1:04:52

fustalux. What

1:04:54

about a... Oh shit. A doll

1:04:57

cop. A doll cop. A doll

1:04:59

cop. It's kind of close. You

1:05:01

doll cop. Somebody who's not smart. A doll in

1:05:03

the brain. Exactly. It's a doll head.

1:05:05

There you go. There you go boy. A doll cop. I

1:05:08

feel like these are really targeted. I

1:05:11

promise. You talked about Malissa Shufitz

1:05:13

and the umbrella. Here we go.

1:05:15

A boba line. You

1:05:18

boba line. I boba line somebody

1:05:20

who really enjoys that kind of tea with the balls in

1:05:22

it. What? You boba tea. Those

1:05:25

always make me weird. You think

1:05:27

they had boba? Boba tea. Is it back when

1:05:29

they... Is it back when they...

1:05:31

Like that's cultural. Boba tea is

1:05:33

cultural. That's a new thing. Very new. That

1:05:37

came out post-2020. That came out

1:05:39

pre-2020 post the Queen of England.

1:05:41

Post the Patriarchy. Boba

1:05:44

line is another word for fool. It

1:05:46

came in after Henry Ape's son

1:05:49

was stupid to a school teacher or something. Do

1:05:51

we believe all that? Don't get me started. What

1:05:53

about a Duke of Limbs? A Duke of Limbs? Now

1:05:55

this is targeted. This one is directly for

1:05:58

patients. Who's

1:06:00

got you can lens someone

1:06:02

who's got like like can't control their limbs or

1:06:04

something somebody who's got like little arms pull

1:06:08

Big or big legs Duke of

1:06:10

limbs transferred translates to a tall

1:06:13

awkward ill-made fellow Look

1:06:16

at that poor Duke of limbs. I

1:06:18

got one or two more very targeted, bro

1:06:20

They're okay. Give me give me two about a

1:06:23

coxcomb. Oh good morning to you a coxcomb.

1:06:25

That's what he did he called his we're

1:06:29

Gonna skip coxcomb and go straight

1:06:31

to Shav a shav

1:06:34

shav just like you bitch You

1:06:41

bloody Shav Shav a

1:06:43

slur for a certain economic class of youth

1:06:45

culture. Oh That boy's

1:06:47

a shav. I love that. I love that

1:06:49

all the boys a shav last one here.

1:06:52

We go here. We go you blunderbuss you

1:06:55

Blunderbuss blunderbuss somebody

1:06:57

who's like all over the place blunder a short

1:07:00

gun with a wide boar We're

1:07:03

talking about utensils You

1:07:06

can't call somebody a dumb blundering fellow. Oh, yeah,

1:07:08

that's what I said like somebody's always in a

1:07:10

blender That's funny. Yeah, it

1:07:12

came from a short gun carrying small slugs

1:07:14

with a wide boar That's what I guess

1:07:17

just a dumb blundering fellow, but that shit

1:07:19

I'm definitely gonna get a couple mumble crust

1:07:21

off and if you say something boy you

1:07:23

better watch it It's a little bed swerve

1:07:25

ass. Okay, pop doodle, bro. Okay remind all

1:07:27

these things like I want to bring that

1:07:29

back one of the things

1:07:32

that really Really hurts

1:07:34

me when I speak do you

1:07:36

need help? No, okay, but like really

1:07:38

makes me insecure when I do this Oh,

1:07:40

this really makes me insecure. Okay, you ever

1:07:42

stuttered on a voicemail You Know

1:07:47

what I mean that if you can't take

1:07:49

that back is the funniest shit That's one

1:07:51

of the funniest things I have never thought

1:07:53

about cuz you cannot delete it. That's You

1:08:00

know what I was saying? I was just calling...

1:08:02

Hey, what are you doing? Just... Oh

1:08:06

my god! I started on a business voicemail. No,

1:08:08

no, no. So I had to call this company,

1:08:10

right? And so you be... I

1:08:12

guess you just be the voicemail, whenever they say it. Alright,

1:08:15

so I'm calling and be like, alright, here you

1:08:17

go. Prring, prring, prring. Doo

1:08:21

doo doo doo! You've reached the voicemail box to

1:08:23

the caller you're currently there. Currently not available to pick up

1:08:25

the phone. Please leave a message at the beep. Beep!

1:08:28

So I was nervous because I didn't have a speech prepared.

1:08:30

Okay, here you go. Like a birthday. So

1:08:33

I was like, oh, hey, this is Peyton Harden.

1:08:36

Oh, I got the voicemail. I

1:08:38

got the email that you... Uh, uh, duh duh duh

1:08:40

duh. You hung up.

1:08:42

You did not call. I swear to god. And then I

1:08:44

texted him. And I

1:08:46

said, hey, ignore that call and the voicemail. It

1:08:48

was a butt dial. That's the

1:08:50

only way I could go about it. But what if he

1:08:53

was like, oh, I'm pretty sure you were trying to get

1:08:55

something out and you just couldn't say it. I don't think

1:08:57

your ass was dialing mine. Bro, stuttering on a voicemail has

1:08:59

to be the worst thing you could do. What if you

1:09:01

double down? What if you tried to repair

1:09:03

it? You call them again. They don't answer again. You

1:09:05

go, hey, so about that. You're

1:09:08

like, duh duh. You just hang it up again. Oh

1:09:11

my god, bro, that is genius.

1:09:14

Bro. That's hilarious. Stuttering on a voicemail is the worst

1:09:16

part. I've never done that. So we're not relating on

1:09:18

any of the courts. I'm sorry. Never have me either.

1:09:20

But no, yeah, never. Yeah. Well, but holy shit, you

1:09:23

can't take it back. You can't take it back. Like,

1:09:25

because you have that... You go into that moment right

1:09:27

there. It's like, do I try to recover or do

1:09:29

I end it? Oh my god. But

1:09:31

I can't recover. I have to recover. I can't. You have

1:09:33

to try. That's like when you go through the drive-through, when

1:09:35

we always laugh and put each other in a drive-through. And

1:09:37

I'm like, I'll just take it. I'll

1:09:39

just take it to the bottom. That's

1:09:42

so... Yeah. That's

1:09:44

why I drive off from a lot of drive-throughs is

1:09:46

whenever I can't really remember what I wanted. Oh my

1:09:49

god. Or I'm messing up what I'm saying. I'll leave

1:09:51

the drive-through. I can't leave that. That voicemail is recorded.

1:09:53

What if there's a car in front of you? Oh

1:09:56

my god. What if you were studying? It's

1:09:59

happening! What if you're stuttering so bad, but you couldn't escape car

1:10:01

behind you car in front of you? What do you do? Oh

1:10:04

my god, and they're asking questions sir. Are you all right? Oh,

1:10:06

I said it way I couldn't hear you said no we can

1:10:09

hear you though sir. You said you wanted a what? What

1:10:11

we don't have that what is that? What's a

1:10:13

what? Oh, what? Oh, what would you say? How do you

1:10:15

how do you? Nav? No, I thought but I put the

1:10:17

blame on the other people. Okay, let's go here. We go.

1:10:20

I'm like hey I can't hear you. That's it. Hey,

1:10:22

welcome to McDonald's. Can I get a name for the order Steve?

1:10:25

Okay What

1:10:28

can I get for you mr. Steve? Oh, can I

1:10:30

get the uh that the uh the other way what

1:10:32

we're saying? I Simply

1:10:34

asked what can I get for you? Mr.

1:10:37

Steve? Wait wait. Sorry. I asked me who

1:10:39

I'm with. I'm on the clock What

1:10:42

can you get to eat? We're a kitchen. We

1:10:44

make you food. What do you want? Yeah,

1:10:46

no, no, no, let me give you second to

1:10:49

have all the time in the world. Mr. Steve Are

1:10:54

you crying Do

1:10:58

you need help I'm not even hungry anymore

1:11:01

though. Thank you. Don't have a good day

1:11:08

Yeah, I'm driven off of a lot of drive-through sorry, let's

1:11:10

uh, oh my god, let's get a dr.

1:11:13

P and then we'll get out of here Time

1:11:15

to save some souls, but it starts with Dr.

1:11:29

P All

1:11:32

right, Lord, I found the submission are you ready? I'm ready. I

1:11:34

hope it's toxic submission to touch Mission

1:11:37

not granted. Okay, here we go Dear

1:11:41

Dr. P. Hello. Can you give me

1:11:43

some advice? Yep while on vacation? I

1:11:45

met a girl at a bar and I hooked up

1:11:48

with her. Yeah, that's a bad boy Dot dot dot

1:11:50

but she ended up being absolutely crazy and quote in

1:11:53

love in quote Oh, you're good at your job

1:11:55

with me after that one night. No, he's good

1:11:57

at it now a little over a month

1:11:59

later She's

1:12:03

pregnant. What do I do? Good

1:12:05

God Almighty. He even, he literally typed out,

1:12:08

sigh. So that boy is

1:12:10

stressing. And enter the

1:12:13

greatest toxic love doctor you've ever met in your life. The

1:12:15

You Should Know podcast family, and I say this every time

1:12:18

as Dr. P., I'm not paying this Dr. P., is

1:12:20

the sickest family in

1:12:22

the world. We have nasty cousins. We have

1:12:25

a nasty relative. Our family

1:12:27

reunion is gross. Horrible. A lot of

1:12:29

antibiotics in our family reunion. Tons of

1:12:31

handsome. So

1:12:34

he hooked up with a girl on a trip. On

1:12:36

a trip, which is fine. Yeah, no harm,

1:12:38

no foul so far. No harm, no foul. Do

1:12:40

your thing. Hooked up on a girl on a trip.

1:12:43

She's crazy. She absolutely is in love with him after

1:12:45

one night, so he did a good job. Oh my

1:12:47

God, wait. Oh my God, Law and Order

1:12:49

SVU. It's not his. It

1:13:03

might not be his. It might not be his.

1:13:07

Holy shit, it might not be his. Oh my God, she

1:13:09

could have already been pregnant. Or she did

1:13:11

something with somebody else. That's true because she hooked up with

1:13:13

you. Why did she not hook up with another guy? If

1:13:17

he says that she fell in love

1:13:20

after one hookup, one day, first of all, you got

1:13:22

to have a ham on you. You

1:13:25

are sore. Second of all, she

1:13:29

might be using that because I know some people in my

1:13:31

life that that's happened to them. Oh my God, what a

1:13:34

curveball. They faked babies or they said the

1:13:36

baby's theirs and it's not because they just like this

1:13:38

guy and they want that guy to take care of

1:13:40

it. Or they faked love because they already had the

1:13:42

baby. Like not had the baby. You don't talk to

1:13:44

them. You're right. You're right. Sorry, what?

1:13:46

Sorry, Lord. All right. I

1:13:49

count. So

1:13:51

what you do is you be respectful. Let

1:13:54

me be serious. This is a child involved

1:13:56

here. Human being. You be respectful. Be

1:13:58

like, Hey, and get the fuck out. I

1:14:02

don't share these emotions with you. It

1:14:04

was a hookup Consensual

1:14:07

hookup, which is the only kind of hookup that

1:14:09

should happen 100% like what are

1:14:11

you talking about? So

1:14:18

You go look Since we

1:14:20

don't know each other. We are strangers Not

1:14:23

trying to disrespect you. I would

1:14:25

like to get a paternity test I'd like to

1:14:27

see if that baby is mine if it is

1:14:29

not You get you

1:14:32

run the devil's advocate. There's two passageways Says

1:14:36

yes, baby is his what did you do? You be

1:14:38

a father you take care of that baby simple You

1:14:40

don't have to be with the woman but you have

1:14:42

to be a present father in that baby's life Hey,

1:14:44

what if it what if they're what if they're worlds

1:14:46

apart? You have to figure it out for that shit

1:14:48

They met they they had a fantastic week in Cancun.

1:14:50

He's from Seattle. She's from the Dominican Republic What are

1:14:52

we doing? You figured out you have to figure it

1:14:54

out for that kid. Okay, that's just my stance Kids

1:14:56

needs fathers and mothers in their lives hundred percent second

1:14:58

fork in the road. She says no She

1:15:01

doesn't know what to the paternity test. What does he

1:15:03

do? I'll be like I can't I can't consciously I Can't

1:15:07

say that work Dr. P work. Oh, God. Let me

1:15:09

think let me think Dr. P. We go. Dr. P's

1:15:11

working if she says no You

1:15:15

can you can is that legal I don't

1:15:17

know that's legal you have to don't you I don't

1:15:19

let's say she has a amazing Dominican

1:15:21

lawyer Amazing Dominican

1:15:24

Republic. Oh, she no. Oh,

1:15:26

you just made that up See

1:15:28

Jake you look that up if

1:15:30

she says no You

1:15:33

take care of that baby, right? You're like, oh baby,

1:15:35

baby Q-tip I'll

1:15:39

bottle in today Gee, swab

1:15:41

you go you find a way to get that you rip a

1:15:43

hair out and if not look you made a decision

1:15:46

to not be the safest and to Complete

1:15:49

the mission inside the tunnel Wow

1:15:54

Mission in a tunnel you decide to

1:15:56

complete level three. There you go level

1:15:59

two you gotta end inside the park home run yeah oh

1:16:01

my god you might hit a button oh my god he

1:16:05

butt ran all four bases that guy

1:16:07

is an athlete he's a fantastic baseball

1:16:09

player did you look it up is

1:16:11

it so

1:16:16

then he goes to court but what if he doesn't have money

1:16:18

for court doesn't have money take a loan

1:16:20

out bro if you're that were you wouldn't write to

1:16:22

me but look bro if it is your kid be

1:16:24

a father be president that baby's life take him to

1:16:26

some live shows we're on tour right now tickets available

1:16:29

now link in the bio that was dr.

1:16:33

P get us out of your code got

1:16:35

what everybody we thank

1:16:37

you so so

1:16:39

much for coming

1:16:47

back to episode 117 of the fantastic episode

1:16:49

the sweat stains are swinging the

1:16:52

sweat stains are sweating in the couch

1:16:54

is broken but what an episode nonetheless

1:16:57

we are still on tour DC this is

1:16:59

recorded before you but we know you're gonna

1:17:01

show up and show out god bless and

1:17:03

Philadelphia this also happened while we were there

1:17:05

as well so it was hopefully fantastic Chicago

1:17:07

you are next on the

1:17:09

list get your tickets right

1:17:11

now link in the description below link in

1:17:14

the bio we still have Phoenix Vegas and

1:17:16

Houston available as well but we absolutely love

1:17:18

y'all twitch discord patreon Facebook all the links

1:17:20

are gonna be below go check them out

1:17:22

go go get all your you should know

1:17:24

and all your platforms so you never miss

1:17:26

a beat but this week's code to confuse

1:17:29

the casuals and get your good karma is

1:17:32

VHS VHS

1:17:37

and I'm not talking about old movies VHS

1:17:45

voice smells hurt most vegetarian

1:17:47

hippo scary oh you'd be a

1:17:50

vegetarian hippo vegetarian

1:17:53

hippo scary you would be a

1:17:55

big grizzly bear that gets okay

1:17:59

well VHS look Leave it on all the

1:18:01

TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, leave it all the comments everywhere,

1:18:03

confuse the casuals, get your good karma. We absolutely

1:18:05

love you all. Chicago, you are next to enjoy

1:18:08

the show and we can't wait to see you,

1:18:10

you beautiful little Shikogi and faces. And sorry if

1:18:12

this episode was a little inappropriate if your kids

1:18:14

are watching, but we're...