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EXPOSING OUR SECRETS! (Ft. Markell Washington) -You Should Know Podcast-

EXPOSING OUR SECRETS! (Ft. Markell Washington) -You Should Know Podcast-

Released Monday, 12th February 2024
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EXPOSING OUR SECRETS! (Ft. Markell Washington) -You Should Know Podcast-

EXPOSING OUR SECRETS! (Ft. Markell Washington) -You Should Know Podcast-

EXPOSING OUR SECRETS! (Ft. Markell Washington) -You Should Know Podcast-

EXPOSING OUR SECRETS! (Ft. Markell Washington) -You Should Know Podcast-

Monday, 12th February 2024
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

When Cynthia came to TurboTax, she had

0:02

just launched her new side gig, a

0:04

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0:06

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Find out next week. Switch to

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0:27

Experts only available with TurboTax Live.

0:36

The Usiono Podcast. Hey

0:40

everybody, welcome back to the Usiono Podcast

0:42

episode. We don't know because this is

0:44

pre-recorded. Everybody, round of applause please

0:46

one time. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold

0:48

on. Oh my god, oh my god.

0:52

There you go. I was waiting for you to, you

0:54

know, you know what I mean? We have

0:56

Markel Washington on the podcast today. One

0:58

more round of applause for Markel Washington.

1:00

The one, the only Markel Washington. Thank

1:02

you guys for having me. Thank you.

1:04

Thank you very much. Well, we can

1:07

just do the normal voice. What

1:09

normal voice? Okay. Imagine

1:12

he goes a whole hour doing that. We would

1:14

have to have a talk. Yeah, the camera's going

1:16

to know I'm from the south. This is what

1:18

it sounds like. Where are you from? Georgia? Georgia.

1:20

Yeah. Georgia. Small town go Brunswick, Georgia. That's why

1:22

you're such a nice person. Yeah, this is the

1:24

Southern House of Talley. No, it's 100% a real

1:26

thing. Yeah. 100%. 100%. 100%. Like, oh my god.

1:28

But, but,

1:33

but you are one of the nicest people

1:35

we've met since we've, you know, gone out

1:37

to the Hollywood area, but there, we do

1:40

have to address something, Markel. Jesus.

1:44

Is it about me addressing your

1:46

outfits? Yes. Okay. Let's, let's break

1:48

the story down. So we're in

1:50

LA, right? We got, we

1:58

didn't even get invited to. the Streamy Awards, our

2:01

friends at RDC World were like, hey, y'all can

2:03

be our plus two. Oh, y'all weren't

2:05

invited. Hell no, you can tell. You see what we were

2:07

wearing? I was wearing jeans with

2:09

the whole... That's what I was wondering. Oh,

2:12

yeah. But yet you had the gall

2:14

to go, hey world, look at this holy jeans.

2:16

So we were recording the actual, we were recording

2:18

the episode with Leo Skeppi. We got the text

2:21

to come to the Streamy Awards right after. We

2:23

didn't have time to change. We didn't have time

2:25

to do anything. Just an outfit, you know, nothing

2:27

to that. Exactly. We were like, shit, we

2:29

got to go to the Streamy Awards. We go to the Streamy Awards. First

2:32

person I see, Markel Washington. I've been

2:34

a fan of you for a while.

2:36

I've seen you around. I see you

2:38

passing through like the little hallway of

2:40

people. I'm like, Markel, huge fan

2:42

of you. You come over, talk to us for

2:44

a little bit, all good and dandy. I

2:47

think that's the interaction for the evening, right?

2:52

10, 15 minutes goes by. Markel

2:54

comes around and goes, flashlight

2:56

on. Outfit check. My

3:00

ass was tight after that. I

3:02

was so wet. I was clenched.

3:04

Chicken fries over there looking at

3:06

me. And a mongja house

3:08

over there looking at me. Kind of

3:10

mojo. Yeah, mojo. Mongja. Yeah.

3:13

Explain to me your thought process during

3:15

that time. Well, honestly, what it was

3:18

was I saw you say, hey

3:20

Markel, huge fan. I say, damn.

3:22

Who don't talk by

3:25

his? So I kind of,

3:27

you know, usually it would have been like, thank

3:29

you guys so much. I hope you can do

3:31

it the rest of your day. Obviously, I'm going

3:33

to talk and enjoy it, but I say, damn.

3:35

Who don't talk by his? So

3:37

I trot my legs over here on my

3:39

heels and y'all, my girl, I had six

3:41

inches on that. I still wasn't taller than

3:43

y'all. I'm looking up like, damn, what's going

3:46

on? And y'all were just so nice

3:48

and down to earth. So I was like, you know what? Great

3:51

meeting you guys. I went back. I

3:53

saw the guys over there, I think getting a bite of

3:55

food or eating or something like that. Oh,

3:58

I was definitely eating. Yeah, and I said, those are the Let

4:01

me catch it go. Drop my way back over here. And

4:03

it was so funny because when

4:06

I got back over there, I think you said,

4:08

dude, I know we

4:11

want to warn is my wife usually dressed. She

4:13

goes and no, yeah, I didn't

4:16

realize I was roasting you and

4:18

I feel like I did add

4:25

the roast to it. I see it. And

4:27

here we go. What's your ass doing here? Well,

4:29

holy jeans on. But, but

4:31

this also, this also speaks on your

4:33

character, even though we were the worst dressed in

4:42

the entire award ceremony. Yeah, you still get. You still gave

4:44

us both an eight out of 10. So

4:46

we did. We passed. We

4:48

got a B. I'm good with the. I think that

4:50

was a generous score. Was it generous? I deserve the

4:52

three. Maybe when you said I

4:55

was like, he's live. Yeah.

4:58

It's like nice. And you know, the worst

5:00

part is that night I was getting so many

5:02

messages like, I saw you on Mark, how store.

5:04

Oh God. Yeah. Were

5:06

you wearing? Honestly, you should

5:08

have knew. Honestly, you should have went

5:10

and bought a blazer to go on top of

5:12

the, um, I think, did you, did y'all have

5:14

flannels on? No. Oh

5:17

no. Oh, I, I like a pink

5:19

like button. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

5:23

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

5:27

Um, no, yeah, that was literally what it was. And I

5:29

was like, um, period. Okay. Okay.

5:32

Okay. Okay. So

5:35

now that's our friendship

5:37

started. Yeah.

5:47

And then, and then you came to our live show in

5:49

LA. Thank you for coming. That was

5:51

crazy that, um, literally I

5:53

remember y'all telling me about the pod. When we met and

5:55

I was like, that was so dope, but I didn't know

5:58

about it then. And then I saw a.

6:00

viral ass clip when you were saying that fish

6:02

wasn't an animal. Well,

6:04

let's just take let's just take your vote real quick.

6:06

Is a fish an animal? Markel,

6:08

please be on the right side. Markel.

6:11

Yes. Thank you. Wait. No. OK.

6:14

I'm going to finally explain this clip because every

6:16

day, every day I get messages, people coming up

6:18

to me, paying you're an idiot. I've never met

6:20

you before. Don't call me names. You know what

6:22

I mean? I get it. I'm

6:24

going to explain myself once and for all right. And I

6:27

only do this because you're here. In

6:29

my mind, wherever it your ear that much

6:31

again, my ear itches. Don't ever itch it

6:33

that much. No, no. Get the hell away.

6:35

We know. All right. So when

6:38

I was when I was thinking of Aminal, right? I was

6:40

thinking of animals. You

6:44

got to feed them. Right. That's

6:46

what I was talking about in my mind. Everybody

6:48

else was taking the clip as what the

6:50

actual question said is a fish and animal,

6:52

obviously. But I was thinking of like an

6:54

animal like a bear, lion, zebra. They're all

6:57

animals. Yeah, they're all animals, including fish. I

6:59

get it. But you gerbils, cats, they're all animals. I'm

7:01

allergic to feline. That doesn't mean.

7:03

Yeah. That is completely.

7:07

Actually, that's the one he goes. I

7:10

am the opposite. Right. Quite

7:13

a big man that I have a prescription to that.

7:16

It's not. But OK, I'm a month. Why don't

7:18

you get a little antibiotics? You write up. So

7:22

to now, OK, this is my

7:24

biggest takeaway for meeting you, becoming

7:26

building our relationship. We have your

7:29

energy. OK, we spoke about

7:31

this at our after party after our

7:33

live show. It is it. And we're

7:35

not saying this. We said this back

7:37

at home. Said this when Snapchat you

7:40

told my mommy about you like. It's

7:43

not just saying it because you're here. You're you're in. Like

7:46

you just say mommy. What do you call your mom?

7:49

Mother, mom, mom. You're like, mommy.

7:52

No, that's a bit like mommy.

7:54

Uppies. I don't

7:57

know. I don't know where you're going. It's starting.

7:59

to get creepy but I'm gonna continue. I love

8:02

you mommy. No, I

8:04

love you mom. Yeah, love you mom. That's

8:06

like calling her first name government. Call her, you

8:08

can call her rat. Rat? Yeah,

8:10

she loves cheese. I

8:13

would never. No, she likes it. No,

8:15

don't say that. I was about to say I feel like your mom

8:17

would drop, kick your ass if you said that. Hey rat. Oh,

8:20

100%. Yeah, no, my mom. His mom? Yeah,

8:23

I've witnessed my mom jump on the hood of a car before. What's

8:25

up rat? Hello. Hello.

8:29

Hello, how are you? No, come on

8:31

dude, it's okay. Yeah, she was already crawling. She was commando

8:33

crawling on the floor. You might as well just walk up

8:35

to your- Michael Jackson's fly to crime. How

8:38

are you? How are you? I'm Peyton, nice

8:40

to meet you. Nice to meet you. Hola. Okay,

8:43

so back to the energy. Your energy

8:45

is unmatched, unheard of, and it

8:47

almost seemed unreal the

8:49

first night. So then after a couple hours,

8:52

you know, dancing, everything, I was like holy shit,

8:54

this is real. He's not

8:56

slowing down. No. No, where-

8:58

does that- why'd you say no

9:00

to that? I was thinking about the after party, I'm

9:02

not going to say it. Oh yeah, yeah. The after

9:04

party was crazy. I can't say it. Wait, what did

9:06

I do? Oh, wait, what? Let's

9:09

just say there's some clips in Mama Liv's phone that

9:11

are sacred and they'll stay exactly where they are.

9:13

Please. I do not know

9:16

what we're talking about. What? You don't

9:18

know what we're talking about? I don't

9:20

want to say it. You

9:25

remember you were dancing. There was just- there was

9:27

a couple scenes where there was a- Bear Ass.

9:29

Yeah, like Liv said, Chinese listening. Got

9:38

it. So, oh my god,

9:40

my- Your energy. Wait. Are

9:45

you- I thought I had

9:47

a premonition. No, I literally like, you know when

9:49

you laugh so hard and then your head, I

9:51

literally thought I was

9:54

going to see the video, but- Oh god,

9:56

you have powers. You have

9:58

powers, yeah. That's so

10:00

Raven. No, literally, you know when

10:02

you laugh at your migraines or your temples,

10:04

you start to squeeze and press together? That's

10:06

what he gave. He said, wait. He's

10:09

like, finding the video. He's like, okay,

10:12

I remember the clip now. Jesus.

10:15

So, the question is,

10:18

does your energy come from like

10:21

childhood, how you were raised? Was there

10:23

a certain point that this switch

10:26

kind of got flipped or have you just always

10:28

been amazing, genuine, like

10:31

10 out of 10 energy person?

10:33

No, honestly, crazy enough. I

10:37

was always like spirited. I

10:39

had spirits. You

10:43

had voices. I've

10:51

always had the spirit,

10:53

but funny enough, I

10:56

was a school cat. Dude,

10:58

get the words out. I

11:01

was captained at a student section

11:03

in my school and I

11:05

won Homecoming King. Crazy

11:08

enough, we only had two high schools in our

11:11

district and I switched crazy enough.

11:13

I switched schools because I knew

11:15

I was a little bit popular

11:17

and I was going to the other school to win

11:19

prom king. So, I could be the first person,

11:21

I don't know, to ever do it. Double king.

11:24

Exactly. And then, they,

11:27

they're pretty iconic. I

11:29

switched schools in the

11:31

second semester and I

11:33

was going to win prom king and graduate from there, but

11:35

then after I figured out I was there for a month

11:37

and a half and then they told me, you know

11:39

you can't run for a prom king because you would

11:42

have had to go here for all four semesters. What

11:44

did I do? Went back. I

11:46

switched back. That's crazy. That's why

11:49

I was helped. Right.

11:51

I went back and they told me, oh all

11:53

my friends, we aren't voting you for shit.

11:56

Like why'd you switch schools? You went to our rival

11:58

school and you think you're going to come back? and

12:00

win some shit, I came back and

12:02

won Most School Spirit, Mr. BHS, and

12:04

Best All Around. Those

12:06

are my things, superlatives. Yeah, I love that word.

12:08

Yeah, it was crazy. Superlative. I

12:10

love that word. And yeah, so

12:13

from, I think when I did

12:15

competitive cheer, I started cheer in

12:17

my 11th grade year of high

12:19

school, 17 years old, and

12:21

that showed me how to encourage

12:23

others and be outgoing. Because at

12:26

first, it was like, I

12:29

would be encouraging and shit like that, but it was

12:31

like, hey,

12:33

yo, good job. And

12:36

then I feel like cheer really made me blossom into the

12:38

person I am today, very outgoing,

12:40

optimistic, encouraging. Because

12:43

performing at two and a half minute routine

12:45

on a stage, I'm like, you have to

12:47

be able to show the judges

12:49

what you're made of. Smiling the whole time,

12:51

hitting everything on beat. Exactly, on beat, everything

12:53

like that. And then my teammates encouraging me

12:56

every time I got a new skill or

12:58

anything like that. So that's where that energy

13:00

comes from, just cheering then. So you've always

13:02

had it, but cheer unlocked it. Yeah, yeah,

13:04

pretty much. That's sick. The You

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14:44

The You Should Know Podcast. How

14:46

do you, how are you, were you ever socially

14:48

awkward? No, I've never had

14:51

a problem with socializing. Never, never. Does, does,

14:53

does. No, yeah, okay, say if somebody in

14:55

the room over

14:57

there was socially awkward, what

14:59

would you do? I would approach them and

15:01

kind of break them out of their shell. I

15:04

love talking to people who are awkward. Because

15:07

I try to like, yeah, literally, we're

15:09

gonna bond somehow. Do you like, like,

15:12

do you like folding Pop-Tarts? Or do you

15:16

like sniffing pee, whatever you're into? Like

15:18

anything that is going to

15:20

get them to open up and like

15:22

talk, I love doing that, because I

15:24

hate like singling people out. But sorry,

15:26

OMG, I just had a

15:28

thought. Earlier a bitch swiped up

15:30

on my TikTok and

15:33

said Markel looked foolish. So sorry, this came

15:35

out of nowhere. I'm like, I

15:37

am human. If I was

15:39

to get a rebuttal, which I did, I deleted

15:41

my comment after. I let it sit there for

15:43

a couple of minutes because I felt like I

15:45

was that bitch. Because she said, everybody, I saw

15:47

all the comments were so nice and positive. This

15:49

just came out of left field, but forget

15:52

that whore. Um, she

15:55

literally swiped up. Let me get, let me

15:57

pull the screenshot up for verbatim. You have

15:59

a screenshot? Yeah, I literally a

16:01

screenshot it just for self-help She

16:06

swiped she said Markelle looks ridiculous

16:08

y'all are crazy I

16:10

replied now if I was to say

16:12

you look ridiculous on your wedding day. I will

16:14

be the bad guy, right? Let's just

16:17

be nice cuz I went to her store. I mean I

16:19

went to her um her TikTok and

16:22

The only video that I could see her in was

16:24

her wedding day with them parachute Don't

16:27

parachute below a shoulder pad Say

16:33

I am human and if I have a rebuttal

16:35

I'm the bad guy I feel that I like

16:37

let's just be nice if you have your opinion

16:39

stick to it and keep it to yourself Yeah,

16:41

exactly you could have kept strolling but now since you

16:43

wanted to have them out of your day It's a

16:45

cookie and I'm gonna take time out of mine because

16:48

I had time today Grammys were over

16:50

baby. So let me just tune in and

16:52

tell you about yourself Right

16:56

They they gave very much parachute flare

16:58

shoulder pads and I'm like you really

17:00

thought you ate with that mesh, babe

17:03

You really thought you did with them screaming

17:06

spaghetti noodle ass arms But I'm not even

17:08

gonna get her together like that because I

17:10

was like, you know You have to be

17:12

the bigger person and and

17:14

I just that just came out of nowhere

17:16

I was thinking about being nice to the

17:18

damn socially awkward kid That

17:21

bitch cuz she was social she had

17:23

the opinion she went out of her way,

17:25

so I wanted her to feel the The

17:29

wrath that I felt when I read her comments

17:31

so bitch you read you feel what I felt

17:33

when you read my comment And

17:39

extra applause for taking

17:41

it down afterwards not not leaving the footprint

17:43

You know but I might make a whole

17:46

tiktok about it, so That's

17:54

one problem I do have with hate comments, oh

17:56

so I'll like tell you what people call you stupid or say

17:58

you don't know I am stupid. I

18:00

am stupid. I'm fine with that. No, you're not. No,

18:03

I am ignorant. No, no. Oh, no. If I pulled

18:05

up my high school transcript. Of what? Thinking.

18:14

That was the Lord speaking says they're on a capital

18:17

article level. I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to get

18:19

it too. I'm gonna be here by the end of the

18:21

day. Thank you. We'll be there. Yeah. No. What was your

18:23

GPA? I'm curious. In where? High school?

18:25

College? Oh, you went to college? I did

18:27

off a basketball scholarship though. Got it. Athletics.

18:29

I mean athletics will get you there. Come

18:31

on now. In high school 2.4 or 5?

18:33

2.3? Is

18:37

that bad? No, they but

18:39

but but but but but but but I see

18:41

judgmental looks in the room. I'm saying they told

18:44

me. What is this reason? Oh,

18:47

Sudoko. Oh Nothing's

18:51

ever been called Sudoko ever. I think that's what

18:53

you do to Suday a dog. Sudoko.

18:58

Have you ever thought about putting your dog down? That's

19:00

an awful thought. Why?

19:03

Why? Damn Milo just started living.

19:08

He's still alive, but he's made it free.

19:10

Pray to a God that I don't

19:12

believe in. You

19:15

got this, and I got this. Okay,

19:18

you know what? Since Since

19:22

you want to be American auto right now, y'all

19:24

had a rap battle. Oh, yeah Who

19:27

won? Who ended up? Are you nuts?

19:31

Pick a song. Like to

19:33

rap on? I would prefer singing. I

19:36

took a warm green tea before we got

19:38

here. Oh vocal chords are spicy Okay,

19:41

wait, so do you want to sing a song? I

19:43

have a singing battle. Yeah, well for

19:45

copyright reasons like 10 seconds Okay, yeah, okay,

19:47

but do something I know though, please so

19:49

pick like a two bars and sing them.

19:51

You go first though. No, you go

19:53

first. You're the challenger. Yeah Amazing

19:59

grace I don't know the second I

20:01

don't I don't enjoy health Wait,

20:04

give me Sam. Sam. No, it's missile his name

20:07

Sam and uh, let's go Why

20:09

am I so emotional? It's

20:13

not a good look in some self-control

20:16

Deep down I know there's never

20:18

words Where'd

20:30

you start? Why am I so

20:32

emotional? G flat The

20:35

only thing that was flat was your vibrato but

20:38

um I'll

20:40

take it up a notch Another

20:44

day bleeds and tonight

20:46

fall And you're not

20:48

here to get me

20:50

through it all A little

20:52

pitchy but it's good You

20:55

motherfucker, that was gorgeous and you know

20:58

it That's one thing

21:00

I've never okay Okay, genuine

21:02

question. Can all black people sing? Yeah,

21:04

no, I've come to that conclusion. I

21:06

love it, but the the That

21:10

okay, is that from is that

21:12

an internal factor or is that like a swift move

21:14

of the chin? I've never mastered that you have a

21:16

good chin. I have a strong chin. I do but

21:18

um when you When

21:21

you sing is it more of you just kind of move

21:24

your shit, or is it like is it

21:26

a true gift? and You

21:29

guys have a water that yeah yours didn't I Was

21:36

trying so hard I

21:51

got some bag washing mine. That's fine. I don't need it.

21:53

I do have a question. You're totally fine I It's

22:00

not the sparkling because I don't want to

22:02

sparkle you don't like smoking water. No, really

22:05

that's that. Yes spicy and that's flat,

22:07

right That's

22:10

right, that's been refrigerated and then taken out

22:13

if that one rips off Oh,

22:30

I'm sweating So

22:32

the Lord says stay parched Oh I? Oh

22:38

Oh shit I

22:40

feel like that episode is spongebob I need you

22:44

Shandy, water That looks

22:46

like backwash You

22:48

don't have good saliva You don't have good saliva

22:52

You don't have good saliva The You

22:54

Should Know Podcast You

22:56

Should Know Podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp

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BetterHelp, me being married to Mama Liv is one

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on to the rest of the episode. So

24:29

you should know podcast. Ooh,

24:31

ooh. Markel.

24:36

You've known me for a little bit. You've known me

24:38

for a little bit. Right. Why are you doing

24:40

ASL? I know to say my name is Simon.

24:43

No you don't. I

24:45

put $100 right now that it's wrong. It's not that far. You think you

24:47

know how to do it and it's not right here. My

24:50

mom took me to a sign language class when I

24:52

was six years old. Let me see. I can speak

24:54

fluently ASL. You're wrong. You

24:57

need your ass beat. You

25:00

guys. Yeah. Oh

25:04

no that's staying buddy. Alright. Huh?

25:11

You're going too fast. That's what I said.

25:14

My name. T-e-y-t-o-n.

25:20

Hello the world. Cause

25:23

you didn't impress anybody. Yeah. But you all said I

25:25

couldn't do it and I can't do it. Back

25:28

to your question guys. Okay so you've known me for

25:30

a little bit right? You see, okay a big thing

25:32

on the internet. A lot of

25:34

people think, I come to the conclusion

25:36

that I'm nasty. Like I'm a

25:38

dirty boy. Like I'm gross. I

25:41

have put on the internet I've gone an extensive amount

25:43

of time without brushing my teeth or bathing. In

25:46

conclusion you're dirty. Okay but now that you

25:48

have seen me, you've hung around me for

25:50

a while. Do I come off as a gross guy? Seeing

25:53

your steering roll in your car. Yeah.

25:57

Totally. Your

26:00

car, I mean your car steering wheel was

26:02

the greasiest thing I've ever seen. It

26:04

looked like he had a damn carton

26:07

of McDonald's fries and you just went

26:09

like this. That is absolutely what it

26:11

is. Slap the steering wheel and then

26:13

it just, you know, when

26:16

you get a brand new Apple iPhone and

26:18

you take that little screen protector off and

26:20

then you're just oily ass fingers just start.

26:22

Just starting to yawn away. It

26:24

looks like you're playing that piano game on your phone.

26:27

That's what a steering wheel looks like. I was like,

26:29

what is wrong with your steering wheel? And then he

26:31

proceeded to show me the floor and then I probably

26:33

wouldn't have noticed. Yes, I would have noticed. He told

26:35

me, don't say shit about my floor. I'm

26:37

like, why do you have like 16

26:40

water bottles received from the last four

26:42

months of purchases? Yeah, but it looks

26:44

like a baby rat family had been

26:46

like feeding on

26:49

the floor. It's just simple,

26:51

like yes or no. You know what I mean? Oh,

26:53

OK, OK. Pardon,

26:57

I had a part true. Um,

27:01

from your appearance and seeing you, I

27:03

wouldn't say you

27:05

come off as a dirty person, but

27:07

knowing you and seeing you. But

27:10

you also haven't seen his feet yet. They're

27:14

a crochet. I don't have that. Your

27:16

feet, the lower eighth

27:19

of your body looks like some sort of coffee.

27:21

I would do this right now. Yeah, let's see.

27:24

You're why are you picking? There's no way.

27:28

No. Oh,

27:30

my God. There's an extension

27:32

that overtook the room. It's too close. I'm

27:36

letting basis. What's wrong with the foot? That's

27:38

a charge in three different countries. Absolutely. What's

27:40

wrong with the foot? It's

27:42

a lot wrong with it. Why the hell is your

27:45

toenail growing under the foot? Take

27:47

a little helmet. So he's got no helmet. Your

27:52

foot is so white. It

27:54

is. And you literally always have socks

27:57

on. There's so much movement.

28:00

It literally looks like a helmet protecting your toe. It

28:02

is. It looks like you can do that

28:04

crisp brown trim where you just... And

28:08

it won't hurt. It looks like you

28:10

can slide your toes on concrete and they cross your

28:12

eyes, fading. No, your sock is black. No, the bottom

28:14

of your sock is black. There's

28:16

some discoloration. Okay. Well,

28:19

maybe my feet are the lowest part of me. But

28:23

if you just look... I'm

28:26

kidding. Okay. We...

28:29

Okay, matter... You know what? You can

28:32

start wearing the black socks. Let's try that. Okay.

28:36

Markelle, I... It's so wet. As

28:39

you focus on your disgusting little foot, I'm

28:41

gonna just... I'm gonna ask our friend a

28:43

question. I gotta would you

28:45

rather. Okay. Okay. This one's not

28:47

some of the crazy ones you always see us do. I got one of

28:49

those for later. This one's more of

28:52

a pick your brain, see your... Not

28:54

necessarily morals, but just kind of how you would go with

28:56

things. Would you rather get a $5

28:58

million check? Right now, taxes,

29:01

everything taken care of. But

29:04

you have to stop doing what you're doing. So

29:07

Markelle Washington is off the TikTok.

29:10

He's off the socials. Five million

29:12

though, bada bing bada boom. You can start whatever new

29:14

venture, but you can't do what you're doing right

29:17

now. Or remain who you are,

29:19

remain what you're doing, but you

29:21

lose half of everything. Half followers. Half

29:24

your sponsors. Half

29:26

everything. And you can't grow it. You stay at that.

29:28

Now why the hell you ask you that ain't what

29:31

he said. He could grow. He could grow. That ain't

29:33

what he said. What do you mean? If

29:35

you say, but that makes it harder, right? You just stay where you're

29:37

at. That following... That makes the question harder, but... That isn't that much

29:39

of a problem. But that ain't what he said. That ain't what he

29:41

said. Okay. We can go that. We can go that. Make it harder.

29:43

Make it sweat. Let's make... There we go. Half

29:47

everything you have. Half everything

29:49

you have is gone. He's just... He's

29:51

my comfort blanket. okay

30:02

yeah oh

30:08

my ass is wet all right here we go

30:10

fuck oh my god just keep it off right

30:16

why did I you got a hairy ass

30:18

I just saw it oh no oh boy

30:20

did you saw it no I think what

30:22

lives down there oh Jesus okay disgusting giving

30:25

man it but um

30:28

five M's gotta stop you

30:31

keep doing what you're doing you lose half of everything and

30:34

I won't be go popular

30:37

oh hey girl hey hey how

30:41

are you Valerie oh my

30:50

god I love you you're so sweet I'm in

30:52

the middle of a podcast right now can I

30:55

call you after this episode okay

30:57

sounds good I'll call you back smooches

31:05

okay you ready to buy

31:07

me life I'll probably take

31:10

the five mill yeah

31:13

okay you are you already know the counter quit this the

31:15

follow-ups coming yeah what would you do what would you do

31:17

you can't do any of this so

31:19

you got five m's you can take you take a lot of time off

31:21

just live go travel a little bit set

31:24

up some investments do whatever be taken care of but what

31:26

would you you would eventually I assume you

31:28

would get bored with not having anything to do

31:30

yeah what do you think you'd pick up what do you think would

31:32

be your next move you

31:35

know like it's this a double-sided question

31:37

cuz I

31:40

love entertaining and I would

31:43

say um I

31:45

would take the other deal and just

31:48

get all of the half back but damn I'm a

31:50

I'm a bougie bitch on a budget so I like

31:52

having the money but I don't like to spend it

31:54

but yeah like

31:58

wow Great

32:00

when you're out of no, that

32:02

was really good because then you

32:04

had different mood though, right? I'm like,

32:07

man It's like who what what's

32:09

more killed right? I don't know No, I thought

32:11

I thought I would get into acting but I

32:13

couldn't do that because I count somewhat do it

32:15

now. I Think that

32:17

would completely suit you for acting Yeah,

32:21

yeah, that's something but if you had to

32:23

stop the socials entertaining and in influencer life.

32:26

Oh, yeah, I would get in acting Yeah, I'm sure Hell

32:29

yeah. Oh, so that's easy. Hmm Bystanders

32:35

now what matter what would what would you

32:37

yeah, what would you do half of what

32:39

the fuck would you do? You

32:42

see Oh my my toes are actually

32:44

really pretty they're clear. They're so clear

32:46

things They are shiny and there was

32:48

no odor that admitted. Hello If

32:51

I were to put my hoop near your nasal,

32:53

you'd have to go to the dentist EMS It

32:56

would affect your dental hygiene, huh? Hello. I've

32:59

like my gun Present I've never seen

33:01

a helmet like that root canal in two months.

33:03

If that if his hoof is six inches from

33:05

your mouth But I

33:08

can't with the feet when you know when you go get a

33:10

pedicure and then they they they're they're

33:12

doing that sanding paper I like this like

33:15

the pumice stone Excuse me, it's a

33:17

promise the pumice stone on your phone the

33:19

bottom foot. I can't do it I've almost wanted

33:21

to kick the bitch or a puncher exactly

33:23

I don't ever fucking here cuz she'd know

33:25

and then she'll feel your leg flex up mr.

33:27

Go hard I'm like, why don't you like

33:30

why would you go harder move on to

33:32

the neck part of the foot? Why would you

33:34

remain there? Oh Like

33:37

just tap it if it's right on the top. It's just like

33:39

a little Like

33:45

a bad dog No, no, they definitely

33:47

talk shit about you when you get your feet done

33:49

hundred percent Oh

33:56

every time I've had I've had three people work on my

33:58

feet at one time. I had one One

34:00

foot one on the other in a spot you probably have

34:02

to get in a spiral Did you say you had a

34:04

spotter there was a spot like ready to catch up here

34:06

what a fast. Oh That's

34:09

very I love the preparation now

34:11

how if you got your fingers

34:13

done. What about your toe? No,

34:15

no, no, no, I haven't gotten done in a minute. Yeah.

34:17

Oh, it's like a half clear coat How

34:20

softer is it is it concerning how I've been

34:22

sweaty and wet I got a little sweaty wet

34:24

syndrome I Your

34:29

hands are way nasty bass little quit me

34:33

do you use ketchup or some shit? Like

34:40

Ketchup on and you just said uh-huh

34:43

like it's normal Right

34:45

people are putting tomato sauce on their hands. Yeah,

34:47

thank you ready with me. Thank you watch. Thank

34:49

you We're on the same way. Yeah Before

34:52

I live in she don't know pickles are

34:54

a good picky a pickles fantastic sliced or

34:56

dill You

34:58

just said you said way is prepared and

35:01

then flavor right it's sliced or

35:03

do is the whole John That's

35:06

what the question. No. No, it's not deals the flip.

35:08

What's a whole what the hole would go. That's just

35:10

called a pickle That's it This

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To the rest of the episode Uh,

36:44

y'all win my answer no, okay. No,

36:47

we do you we do you said you had

36:49

your fingers done. Oh, yeah, I did I Broke

36:52

all my fingers too at one time. Imagine

36:54

wiping your ass like that your

36:56

knuckles Right.

36:58

I had help come. Oh Okay,

37:04

you need to answer yours five million is

37:06

my answer, okay fantastic ask

37:08

him the question Oh Best

37:10

friend test me and him we asked

37:12

everybody this we've asked Giddy on this

37:15

Mark Phillips this Leo Skeppy this now

37:17

we ask you Markel, right say I

37:19

get an accident, right? I have

37:22

no no use of the hands I can't do

37:24

it anymore. I live alone. We live eight minutes

37:26

from each other. You know, I mean he claims

37:28

to be my bestest my

37:30

bubble there my Eli

37:33

a dead lady Right,

37:36

I can't I gotta clean myself.

37:39

I gotta get crevices. I asked him

37:41

what he washed me. What did you say?

37:43

I Said if I

37:46

had to the answer is yes, however,

37:48

I feel someone has

37:50

to be higher in the hierarchy before me Bye,

37:52

I feel your mom. Yeah, I feel your mom.

37:54

My mom doesn't live would move in in a

37:56

heartbeat I don't want her to learn three to

37:58

four months for your phalanges to fix it and

38:00

then she would leave. But I don't want my mom

38:02

to live with me. That would be, that would be

38:04

non advantageous to her and to I. What

38:07

advantage am I getting? Right. Well,

38:11

you get to see it. I

38:14

get to see it. Okay. And then

38:16

I asked him, he said yes to that. He would help

38:18

for a little bit, but then I said, what if I

38:20

make a request? What if I say, look me in the

38:23

eye? See, no, now

38:25

he's trying to get like, what

38:27

are we talking about? I've known it for a decade.

38:29

So you want him to look you in your eyes

38:31

as he washes your ass. How's he know he's getting

38:33

a good spot? You

38:36

do that little leg shake like the dog. You know,

38:38

your eye closes a little bit. What?

38:41

You know what I mean? Yeah, I close it a little bit, get

38:43

a little squint. He'll know he's getting the good

38:45

spot. You are. That's so

38:48

another one. Right. Literally like. But

38:51

that's my bestest friend in the whole wide world. So

38:53

if your best friend approached you with the same scenario,

38:56

what would your answer be? Yeah, right. You

38:58

can wipe that. You wipe that crack. They

39:00

break all 10 phalanges. They're walking around like

39:02

Edward Scissorhands. You got to

39:04

you got to sub in. You're the

39:06

sixth man. You're coming off the bench. Yeah,

39:10

she said. I'm like looking back at you. Would I do

39:12

that for you? Yeah,

39:15

she's weird. I

39:17

mean, well, you know, no, no, no, no,

39:19

no. S.J. on some

39:22

freaky shit. She loves a good hug and she

39:24

want to be embraced and shit all like that.

39:27

I'm just like. Yeah,

39:29

no, no. S.J. She tried. She

39:32

loves to grab my ball. Wait,

39:34

hold the hell off. Yeah. How

39:36

do you? Yeah. It's like, yeah, you have to

39:39

grab a button. Is that a one? Is

39:41

that a kid? No,

39:43

she'll give me a hug and then she'll

39:45

just like, you know, it starts on the

39:47

back and then she just lies down. And

39:49

I'm like usually on my phone. So I

39:51

give her a little sidebar hug. Oh, hey.

39:53

Yes. And when she see I'm not paying

39:55

attention, she'll just slip her hand back there.

39:57

I like that. Cam. No. Okay.

39:59

Don't get ideas. That's their move.

40:01

No, that's her move. I

40:04

don't like to participate in that It

40:06

was up to me. Her fingers would be nowhere in your my

40:08

ass and I'm like SJ She's like

40:10

come on one. I'm like, why

40:12

are you so eager to group up on the

40:15

hole like that? Is that a real? Yeah,

40:17

SJ If you're out

40:19

here wearing no underwear under your shirt, I

40:22

see them all Laughter That's

40:31

different he's like that's for sports We

40:35

are at practice. Hello. We are at

40:37

practice. Do you guys wear underwear? I'm

40:41

a I'm a big believer in the under

40:43

layers of clothing If I met

40:45

my humble abode by myself me and my lovely wife,

40:47

I might just have a basketball shirt on no underwear

40:51

Now if I was gonna be vaulted in the air doing

40:53

a couple of somersault double backflips Probably

40:56

gonna be some protection knock it wouldn't want

40:58

some just just kind of you know Fall

41:00

out or a little dingleberry just pop right

41:02

under tongues. You know to catch me. So

41:04

if I Shit

41:07

and it went on someone's tongue

41:09

during a flip Not

41:11

only would I arrest myself? I put

41:13

myself under citizens arrest I

41:15

would not I would never be able to speak that

41:17

person ever again She hates when I pass gas wait,

41:20

he just said he would catch you if you had

41:22

a dingleberry land on his tongue I

41:24

would let you fall. I Would

41:27

hope you let me fall see that's the difference

41:29

like y'all like what why you're

41:31

playing this loyal card I love

41:33

it. I love it. Okay. Let's

41:35

talk about a loyal card your

41:38

friend over there mama lives Oh, I

41:40

got a story about her. She's just as nasty

41:42

as me, right? You

41:45

told me to do something and I've never

41:47

been able to forgive myself Tell me I'm

41:49

interested so my first apartment whenever I moved

41:52

to Dallas right now I was broke couldn't

41:54

afford a nice place right I was living

41:56

in and you all remember that apart I

41:58

don't know if your tattoo says Philippine Philippians

42:00

to my mom's hair. Oh, sorry mom. Sorry, right?

42:02

No, no, no, sorry mom. It just gives like

42:10

It's very much the uh Vision

42:15

we it what is it called a

42:17

talus? What is that? Now

42:20

is that the font the font? I

42:22

think it is a times enrollment or

42:25

when it gets planted 12 ball. It

42:27

gives it gives bulging like font

42:29

Okay, it gives command. I yeah. Yeah.

42:31

Yeah. Yeah, yeah Well

42:34

back to my mother Right. So

42:36

okay. I lived in the hood right

42:38

I couldn't afford like a nice place

42:40

So things didn't work all the time

42:42

right first time that I moved in

42:44

they came over hang out with me It's

42:47

been a little quality time as a tree. All

42:49

right. I have to pee real bad, right?

42:51

That's pure bad I was drinking alcohol. We're all having

42:54

a good time housewarming. I go to

42:56

the el banyo. So I'm call it the toilet I'm going

42:58

to pee in there, right? What do you buy you? Okay

43:13

We need sausage got it Vienna

43:16

How's gonna pee in the toilet was

43:19

definitely clogged? Definitely clogged

43:21

still haven't found the culprit to this day, right?

43:25

trying to Plumber it

43:27

out. You need to think of your

43:29

actions when what context is about penis

43:32

What's the action to plumb something? Just

43:34

say you tried to get it. I tried

43:36

to unclog it, right? I'm trying to unclog

43:38

the toilet was an unclog it right I

43:41

go to them be like I have to pee Really

43:43

bad. I cannot pee on top of this clogged toilet

43:45

Who's to that point of almost overflow like my bat

43:47

like my floor would have gotten a little bit of

43:49

a little bit of potty You know what I mean?

43:51

So I go to my friends and I'm like guys

43:53

I have to pee. What do I do? Mama

43:56

live gives me an idea. She

43:58

goes go downstairs to the library lobby right

44:01

go downstairs to the lobby they probably have

44:03

a good idea a community

44:05

restroom for everybody I

44:07

go down there shit doesn't work

44:09

like the door handle just doesn't work it's late

44:11

at night there's no one to call doesn't work

44:14

I don't know where to be I go back

44:16

upstairs so my friends I go it's

44:18

locked what do I do mama

44:20

Liv tells me yeah use

44:24

the sink she goes to the

44:27

tub she says go piss

44:29

in the tub why are

44:32

you looking at me like that's normal

44:34

it is y'all pee and tubs you

44:36

don't piss while you shower yep

44:40

you piss when you shower oh I'm just in

44:42

the pool I can't swim I don't

44:45

go in pools yeah you're definitely afraid of water

44:47

wait what I can't swim I don't go water

44:49

you like it no you like terrified I'm

44:57

talking like maximum is he your dad

44:59

why he is the Caucasian male okay

45:01

so I feel like did you not

45:03

take some classes or no you didn't

45:05

have a private swimming cooler right no

45:07

we did a private swimming cooler no

45:09

I never get swimming glasses but I'm

45:12

literally like the low-key black Michael Velt but I

45:14

don't get it I don't get the point of

45:16

swimming I'm low key a fucking dolphin hey what

45:18

you know what do you get to the

45:20

point of swimming okay what do you

45:22

do in there you get in there you're wet right splash

45:25

around whatever put your head

45:28

under you see a floating band-aid going

45:30

across a little Timmy just shit

45:32

three meters away from you and then you get

45:34

up hey well you're a nasty ass pools yeah

45:36

you've never you've never been to a beach you

45:38

went a nice ocean private school you weren't I

45:40

never got into school yes you did you were

45:42

a bow tie to I never never owned an

45:44

ascot wore a bow tie once didn't look good

45:46

on me so I stopped that never

45:49

went to private school but I don't understand I don't

45:51

understand the fun of pools because every time I get

45:53

out I just want a cold sandwich a big head

45:55

ass look here when you I

45:57

just envision like a big

45:59

ass head with a little bitty ass neck like

46:01

that's just what it gives bobble

46:03

neck pain like just in did you were

46:05

you in the band cuz I heard you

46:08

say you weren't popular earlier no I was

46:10

not in journalism and he wore a tail

46:12

to school yeah you remember the tail face

46:14

no bitch you're furry no not

46:16

a furry it was like furs before for like just

46:18

a little clip on tail he had a duct tape

46:20

wallet suspenders you remember that's right the

46:22

cat daddy yeah so the super skinny jeans

46:24

with the Supras in the studded belts with

46:26

the now they're actually rocks I'm super is

46:29

come on down I wouldn't touch it yeah

46:31

you're better than me I wouldn't touch and

46:33

then a little tail you give a little

46:35

tail it was a

46:37

right where your asses now you put on this like

46:39

belt loop to the right right on the hip you

46:41

got a little hit like the Elmo shirts like the

46:43

trucks it had a

46:46

world but daddy bought a skateboard doesn't know

46:48

how to skate he was that type of

46:50

kid 45 silly bands up the arm yeah

46:52

dazzled blazers for presentations about

46:54

Saddam Hussein it's a

46:58

fact I had a bus to the dog when

47:00

he made a paper mache and

47:02

I had a bedazzled blazer talking about it was

47:04

a lit presentation 98 coach

47:06

welch's class seventh grade how you

47:08

doing stop winking 98 Olivia

47:14

stay on the blue stay on the blue I love you I love

47:16

it oh yeah no yeah that

47:22

was the kind of kid I don't understand swimming but you

47:25

were a big it as good I had

47:27

a good size skull he also I forgot to mention

47:29

he also had hair that went down to the middle

47:31

of his back yeah

47:33

like a toy Paula maulo yeah yeah

47:36

no yeah like a bunch every time I was like

47:38

hey when are your titties out of it

47:42

you're like what's that like girl you got

47:44

the most she's a means like how

47:46

about a hair behind the

47:48

ear I'm a boy I got that a lot

47:51

this and then this twirling the tail around me

47:53

oh my god like every time we have somebody

47:55

else on the podcast everybody just it's not even

47:57

a go plan is damn And

48:00

if you are a victim card,

48:02

it's not even a gang. It's he has now

48:04

been, your information has been unleashed on

48:06

him all in one sitting. It's hard to take. I'm

48:09

not going to, I get doses week by week. We

48:12

do this segment called

48:16

Dr. P. Oh, you're in love.

48:19

You know Dr. P. Yeah. You

48:21

definitely know Dr. P. You can help Dr. P. You

48:23

can be my secretary. Against doctor. Don't touch me.

48:26

I thought I was a secretary. I

48:28

can be your treasury. I

48:30

don't have you just struck me and I'm taking

48:32

you to HR. I am HR. Here we

48:34

go. Sing it

48:36

with me. Come on. You were there. Dr.

48:39

P. Dr.

48:43

P. Dr. P. Dr.

48:45

P. There

48:47

we go. I'm

48:49

sorry. I'm sorry to do the harmony, but you can

48:52

find your notes. So that's why we struggled. We try

48:54

to harmonize with me quick. You starting off. I'm gonna

48:56

read it. Hello.

49:03

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was our strong base that we need a oh

50:53

you're the vibrato. Uh Mm-hmm,

50:55

dear dr. P. Hello. This is this week's

50:57

segment chosen at random. Let's see. Oh God

51:01

the the caption is I'm toxic and I

51:03

don't care. That's what I like to hear

51:06

This is from a female sending in dear dr.

51:08

P. I really like this guy, but I don't

51:10

know if he likes me I

51:12

want to be with him so bad, but I think he has a girlfriend.

51:14

I Have

51:17

dreams about him all the time.

51:19

And if he has a girlfriend, I want to break them up

51:21

right now We've been friends

51:23

for a couple of years now But I've

51:26

always thought he was fine and now I have the biggest crush

51:28

on him and I don't know if I want to tell him

51:30

I like him So,

51:32

how do I break them up right now? And

51:35

then do I tell him I like him? Yes, I want you

51:37

to go first Okay,

51:40

what is your advice to this to this hopefully

51:44

lovely young woman I Don't

51:49

be a homewrecker. Mm-hmm I'm

51:51

like don't want a wreck at home if the home

51:53

ain't broken Now if you

51:55

see that it's a crack in the

51:57

glass. Mm-hmm Mmm.

52:02

Oh. You

52:05

know, for example, Mama

52:10

Liv and Cam's marriage, stable

52:13

household, the concrete ain't

52:15

bending. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Now

52:18

if you go to Peyton and

52:20

his hand, that's not

52:23

a safe relationship. The glass

52:25

is breaking. It is cracked for sure.

52:27

It is shattering. So

52:29

therefore, if it's a relationship like that, you

52:32

can step in and encourage, like, you

52:34

know, you deserve better. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

52:36

Don't tell him it's yourself yet, because that's eternal. Won't

52:39

do that. Mm-mm. But

52:41

you deserve better for yourself. Mm-mm. You

52:43

shouldn't have to deal with that. And then

52:45

once you get that, you know, you're

52:48

right. Boom. After

52:51

it goes, you say, hey, can we go

52:53

to coffee? Yeah. I'm dropping dinner. I

52:55

like that a lot. You know what I say? That relationship.

52:58

You know what you do? You go right in there. You leave

53:00

breadcrumbs. You know what I mean? Dr. P's

53:02

a little toxic. I see. You know what I

53:04

mean? You leave breadcrumbs. You know what I mean? You get along with

53:06

the boyfriend, right? And you tell, hey,

53:08

oh, girl,

53:11

you know, you really like her? He's like, yeah, what you mean?

53:13

That's why I go over there. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Act

53:15

like you don't... And then you leave that

53:17

breadcrumb in his mind. He'll be like, why'd she ask me

53:19

that? She's feeling it? She's sadistic. Hey,

53:22

sorry, son. The doctors are working over there. Just

53:24

taking... Leave that breadcrumb. You know what I mean?

53:26

Oh, why didn't she ask you that? You

53:29

don't be thinking about that. And you pull back

53:31

a little bit. You know what I mean? Pull back. She's

53:33

giving all this attention. Why'd she pull back? Only

53:36

attention. And

53:39

then right whenever he starts getting hungry, why

53:41

didn't he get hungry? Why is he asking

53:43

that? There's a couple breadcrumbs. Then you give

53:45

him a little... A

53:48

little play with the earlobe. You're sick little bastard.

53:51

Little extra winks. You know? You go to his

53:53

highlights on his Instagram store. You like the old

53:55

ones. You like the mold highlights. Whoo!

53:59

Right! I don't like that face. It's

54:01

not to be it's not Peyton. It's not me We

54:05

don't we don't know these hoes gonna

54:07

play all this if you go low

54:09

I'm going to hell I'm

54:11

gonna like your daddy highlights Well,

54:15

he was a freshman in high school bitch. I'm

54:17

gonna like him when he made varsity cuz that's

54:19

how good he was All

54:22

I'm saying is I feel like she's justified

54:24

having these feelings. I feel like he might be giving her

54:27

Some of you like you know, I mean

54:29

some thoughts like to make her able

54:32

to have those thoughts No, some bitches are

54:34

just crazy and they envision those thoughts that

54:36

just aren't present. I want those girls. I

54:40

Like a little crazy. I want a girl

54:42

to be watching me eat dinner You

54:44

know, I mean and say how can I poison this? You

54:47

know, but I like that that means you care. I don't

54:50

like anybody's too cool You

54:52

are ash backwards. No, no.

54:55

Yeah You like crazy no the guy

54:57

don't know you pointing fingers at me and she likes

54:59

crazy Somebody has

55:01

to like you like crazy Yes

55:09

Yeah, but I'm Bob No

55:11

one wants to marry me. They see my lifestyle.

55:13

They say your toenails have a helmet you

55:16

smell like McDonald's You can't one's me you

55:18

pee in tubs That's enough Thank

55:22

you for that I need you around not

55:25

that fuck your bags no, they don't nobody

55:27

wants your ass them told turtle helmet toes

55:30

Get them fix first. We

55:33

got to be honest and realistic here. It

55:35

is 2024 clean a damn

55:37

steering wheel and then maybe somebody won't show

55:39

ass So that damn

55:42

receipt the way hello clean a man

55:44

water bottle. I'm getting a chef You

55:47

know what it's like it's like

55:49

I go he goes from fast food to

55:52

just hmm. I gotta have someone cook for me

55:56

Let's just just cook one

55:58

right one chicken, I said taco shells

56:00

on fire last time I tried to cook. Well, uh, one more

56:02

to end it. Would

56:05

you rather every time you say, hi,

56:07

hello, how you doing? Any introduction, you

56:09

immediately sneeze afterwards, or every time somebody

56:11

asks you a question, you have the urge to fart. Can

56:16

I get a picture? You get approached a lot, so it's

56:18

always gonna be, oh, you're Markell, how's it going? You're like,

56:20

hey, I'm sorry, how, or

56:23

Markell, is that you? Yes. I

56:26

think it's a fair question. Either shitty

56:29

britches, or you're gonna be sneezy Washington.

56:33

Sneezy McGee. Why, you, you

56:35

snailed me. The

56:41

silence. My life's hard

56:43

anyway, so probably his knees. Oh,

56:45

oh, wait, you're a farter. Yeah.

56:48

He farted on the plane today here. He stunk up the

56:50

whole aircraft and almost had to switch planes. I

56:52

saw your kneecaps gonna go under the seat. It

56:55

was so bad. Probably one was in the damn

56:57

column. You were sitting like Chris Cross

56:59

Indian style. Yeah, we were 35-y. We

57:02

can't afford those up there at U-Shado, you know what I

57:05

mean? Oh. This seems

57:07

to happen quite often. And

57:10

you're getting a shot. Priorities.

57:14

Right, let's think to move up to 15 first. You

57:18

said your kneecaps are bleeding? Yeah, your

57:21

kneecaps are limited to green beans. Well,

57:24

you probably first class all the time? No,

57:26

no, no, no. I get my Delta comfort point. I

57:31

mean, my Delta Sky Malice points. So

57:33

I'm a gold medallion member right now.

57:35

So therefore, even if I buy basic

57:37

economy, they still upgrade me to comfort.

57:39

Hello. Before first class, yeah. It's not

57:41

my fault. I booked through Expedia for our trips. Why

57:44

would you do that? Because you can fly in a hotel. All

57:47

wrapped in one. All wrapped in one. Package deal,

57:49

cheap, or? Well, that's what

57:51

your ass got. That's a 35-y. That's

57:54

that 35-e. What was

57:56

the airline? American. Not

58:00

a problem Mages will literally love to

58:02

delay their flights every American by

58:04

been on in the past three weeks has been

58:06

delayed and then one Oh my god woman was

58:09

eating a wretched burrito by the middle of the

58:11

flight. Oh What it

58:13

was right? It was a burrito, but

58:15

it smelled as if someone was just

58:17

vomiting but it was no Like

58:20

that started talking like where'd you get a burrito?

58:23

Oh, thank you. Yeah boy scoff and

58:25

half a can of the dry give

58:27

a fucking number eight from Taco Bell What

58:29

is happening? Sorry? It's all right. Can't collapse

58:31

when the plane lands. All right That

58:34

is that is very

58:37

very Caucasian Shit

58:40

that is y'all made

58:42

it. Yeah, like yeah, man No,

58:47

I can see all right guys one more

58:49

time for Markelle, Washington I say so much

58:52

the one and only Markelle Thank

58:54

you guys so much for having me. Yeah, they're great

58:57

time next time. We'll do something for you You'll teach

58:59

me how to dance or only gone your TikTok or

59:01

Snapchat or something. No, that'll be great Honestly, you should

59:03

just get those turtle helmets peppers. Did I say it

59:05

look like you can slide on concrete? What were you

59:08

about? Know

59:12

it literally you can just why you know how to

59:14

soccer players do the knee slot Yeah

59:21

All right, give us a secret code. Okay

59:23

secret code is E

59:30

M-e-u take a

59:32

guess Markelle eat absolutely

59:34

not Markelle's energy

59:37

unmatched Markelle's energy on that Your

59:40

code get your good karma confuse the

59:43

casuals leave it everywhere leave it on

59:45

the videos patreon everywhere Give

59:47

give some love to Markelle in the comments. He's fantastic. We

59:49

love them. See you mo We're gonna be

59:51

I don't know when this is coming out, but if

59:53

it hasn't happened already, we're gonna be in Austin March

59:55

1st It's almost sold out. So get your tickets right

59:58

now take us now Markelle's gonna be there I

1:00:00

will! PFFT! PFFT! Alright

1:00:02

guys, remember, One out of

1:00:04

ten koala bears You gotta flip your

1:00:06

shoe, you gotta flip your hooves up in the air What?

1:00:08

You gotta flip that hoove up in the air And do

1:00:10

what? Catch it? Yeah Oh that's easy

1:00:12

Yeah, here we go One out of ten koala bears, don't

1:00:15

make it home to Christmas Hello? What's that?

1:00:17

It's your turn Wait, dude, put it back You didn't

1:00:19

tell me where Oh yeah It's in like

1:00:21

the middle of the sentence He's got a good

1:00:23

point, I told him on cue, didn't tell him the

1:00:26

cue Yeah, yeah, well, kinda our fault Alright One out of

1:00:29

ten koala bears Now your long

1:00:31

ass foot Damn, total helmet Hell

1:00:34

of a damn helmet Raggedy ass We'll see you

1:00:36

next time Wait, I want those I'm

1:00:38

starting to think it's your aim Right, one more time You

1:00:41

know, I threw bitches not

1:00:43

shoes Peyton, let me throw

1:00:46

ya Wait Dude,

1:00:48

my panties are twisted up There you

1:00:50

go I can grip a lot of things Get

1:00:52

it Oh

1:00:55

no You said come here Right Get

1:00:59

over here Wait I

1:01:02

can't grab you What's wrong? Dude,

1:01:06

wait, just chill Just chill Come

1:01:08

here, come here, dude Come here Peyton,

1:01:12

come here How

1:01:14

is that puff? It

1:01:17

literally felt like something just was Nashed

1:01:20

your ass up Oh, we're still recording Alright guys, thank

1:01:22

you See you next time Oh

1:01:24

man Oh, there we go Oh god

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