Episode Transcript
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Experts only available with TurboTax Live.
0:36
The Usiono Podcast. Hey
0:40
everybody, welcome back to the Usiono Podcast
0:42
episode. We don't know because this is
0:44
pre-recorded. Everybody, round of applause please
0:46
one time. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold
0:48
on. Oh my god, oh my god.
0:52
There you go. I was waiting for you to, you
0:54
know, you know what I mean? We have
0:56
Markel Washington on the podcast today. One
0:58
more round of applause for Markel Washington.
1:00
The one, the only Markel Washington. Thank
1:02
you guys for having me. Thank you.
1:04
Thank you very much. Well, we can
1:07
just do the normal voice. What
1:09
normal voice? Okay. Imagine
1:12
he goes a whole hour doing that. We would
1:14
have to have a talk. Yeah, the camera's going
1:16
to know I'm from the south. This is what
1:18
it sounds like. Where are you from? Georgia? Georgia.
1:20
Yeah. Georgia. Small town go Brunswick, Georgia. That's why
1:22
you're such a nice person. Yeah, this is the
1:24
Southern House of Talley. No, it's 100% a real
1:26
thing. Yeah. 100%. 100%. 100%. Like, oh my god.
1:28
But, but,
1:33
but you are one of the nicest people
1:35
we've met since we've, you know, gone out
1:37
to the Hollywood area, but there, we do
1:40
have to address something, Markel. Jesus.
1:44
Is it about me addressing your
1:46
outfits? Yes. Okay. Let's, let's break
1:48
the story down. So we're in
1:50
LA, right? We got, we
1:58
didn't even get invited to. the Streamy Awards, our
2:01
friends at RDC World were like, hey, y'all can
2:03
be our plus two. Oh, y'all weren't
2:05
invited. Hell no, you can tell. You see what we were
2:07
wearing? I was wearing jeans with
2:09
the whole... That's what I was wondering. Oh,
2:12
yeah. But yet you had the gall
2:14
to go, hey world, look at this holy jeans.
2:16
So we were recording the actual, we were recording
2:18
the episode with Leo Skeppi. We got the text
2:21
to come to the Streamy Awards right after. We
2:23
didn't have time to change. We didn't have time
2:25
to do anything. Just an outfit, you know, nothing
2:27
to that. Exactly. We were like, shit, we
2:29
got to go to the Streamy Awards. We go to the Streamy Awards. First
2:32
person I see, Markel Washington. I've been
2:34
a fan of you for a while.
2:36
I've seen you around. I see you
2:38
passing through like the little hallway of
2:40
people. I'm like, Markel, huge fan
2:42
of you. You come over, talk to us for
2:44
a little bit, all good and dandy. I
2:47
think that's the interaction for the evening, right?
2:52
10, 15 minutes goes by. Markel
2:54
comes around and goes, flashlight
2:56
on. Outfit check. My
3:00
ass was tight after that. I
3:02
was so wet. I was clenched.
3:04
Chicken fries over there looking at
3:06
me. And a mongja house
3:08
over there looking at me. Kind of
3:10
mojo. Yeah, mojo. Mongja. Yeah.
3:13
Explain to me your thought process during
3:15
that time. Well, honestly, what it was
3:18
was I saw you say, hey
3:20
Markel, huge fan. I say, damn.
3:22
Who don't talk by
3:25
his? So I kind of,
3:27
you know, usually it would have been like, thank
3:29
you guys so much. I hope you can do
3:31
it the rest of your day. Obviously, I'm going
3:33
to talk and enjoy it, but I say, damn.
3:35
Who don't talk by his? So
3:37
I trot my legs over here on my
3:39
heels and y'all, my girl, I had six
3:41
inches on that. I still wasn't taller than
3:43
y'all. I'm looking up like, damn, what's going
3:46
on? And y'all were just so nice
3:48
and down to earth. So I was like, you know what? Great
3:51
meeting you guys. I went back. I
3:53
saw the guys over there, I think getting a bite of
3:55
food or eating or something like that. Oh,
3:58
I was definitely eating. Yeah, and I said, those are the Let
4:01
me catch it go. Drop my way back over here. And
4:03
it was so funny because when
4:06
I got back over there, I think you said,
4:08
dude, I know we
4:11
want to warn is my wife usually dressed. She
4:13
goes and no, yeah, I didn't
4:16
realize I was roasting you and
4:18
I feel like I did add
4:25
the roast to it. I see it. And
4:27
here we go. What's your ass doing here? Well,
4:29
holy jeans on. But, but
4:31
this also, this also speaks on your
4:33
character, even though we were the worst dressed in
4:42
the entire award ceremony. Yeah, you still get. You still gave
4:44
us both an eight out of 10. So
4:46
we did. We passed. We
4:48
got a B. I'm good with the. I think that
4:50
was a generous score. Was it generous? I deserve the
4:52
three. Maybe when you said I
4:55
was like, he's live. Yeah.
4:58
It's like nice. And you know, the worst
5:00
part is that night I was getting so many
5:02
messages like, I saw you on Mark, how store.
5:04
Oh God. Yeah. Were
5:06
you wearing? Honestly, you should
5:08
have knew. Honestly, you should have went
5:10
and bought a blazer to go on top of
5:12
the, um, I think, did you, did y'all have
5:14
flannels on? No. Oh
5:17
no. Oh, I, I like a pink
5:19
like button. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
5:23
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
5:27
Um, no, yeah, that was literally what it was. And I
5:29
was like, um, period. Okay. Okay.
5:32
Okay. Okay. So
5:35
now that's our friendship
5:37
started. Yeah.
5:47
And then, and then you came to our live show in
5:49
LA. Thank you for coming. That was
5:51
crazy that, um, literally I
5:53
remember y'all telling me about the pod. When we met and
5:55
I was like, that was so dope, but I didn't know
5:58
about it then. And then I saw a.
6:00
viral ass clip when you were saying that fish
6:02
wasn't an animal. Well,
6:04
let's just take let's just take your vote real quick.
6:06
Is a fish an animal? Markel,
6:08
please be on the right side. Markel.
6:11
Yes. Thank you. Wait. No. OK.
6:14
I'm going to finally explain this clip because every
6:16
day, every day I get messages, people coming up
6:18
to me, paying you're an idiot. I've never met
6:20
you before. Don't call me names. You know what
6:22
I mean? I get it. I'm
6:24
going to explain myself once and for all right. And I
6:27
only do this because you're here. In
6:29
my mind, wherever it your ear that much
6:31
again, my ear itches. Don't ever itch it
6:33
that much. No, no. Get the hell away.
6:35
We know. All right. So when
6:38
I was when I was thinking of Aminal, right? I was
6:40
thinking of animals. You
6:44
got to feed them. Right. That's
6:46
what I was talking about in my mind. Everybody
6:48
else was taking the clip as what the
6:50
actual question said is a fish and animal,
6:52
obviously. But I was thinking of like an
6:54
animal like a bear, lion, zebra. They're all
6:57
animals. Yeah, they're all animals, including fish. I
6:59
get it. But you gerbils, cats, they're all animals. I'm
7:01
allergic to feline. That doesn't mean.
7:03
Yeah. That is completely.
7:07
Actually, that's the one he goes. I
7:10
am the opposite. Right. Quite
7:13
a big man that I have a prescription to that.
7:16
It's not. But OK, I'm a month. Why don't
7:18
you get a little antibiotics? You write up. So
7:22
to now, OK, this is my
7:24
biggest takeaway for meeting you, becoming
7:26
building our relationship. We have your
7:29
energy. OK, we spoke about
7:31
this at our after party after our
7:33
live show. It is it. And we're
7:35
not saying this. We said this back
7:37
at home. Said this when Snapchat you
7:40
told my mommy about you like. It's
7:43
not just saying it because you're here. You're you're in. Like
7:46
you just say mommy. What do you call your mom?
7:49
Mother, mom, mom. You're like, mommy.
7:52
No, that's a bit like mommy.
7:54
Uppies. I don't
7:57
know. I don't know where you're going. It's starting.
7:59
to get creepy but I'm gonna continue. I love
8:02
you mommy. No, I
8:04
love you mom. Yeah, love you mom. That's
8:06
like calling her first name government. Call her, you
8:08
can call her rat. Rat? Yeah,
8:10
she loves cheese. I
8:13
would never. No, she likes it. No,
8:15
don't say that. I was about to say I feel like your mom
8:17
would drop, kick your ass if you said that. Hey rat. Oh,
8:20
100%. Yeah, no, my mom. His mom? Yeah,
8:23
I've witnessed my mom jump on the hood of a car before. What's
8:25
up rat? Hello. Hello.
8:29
Hello, how are you? No, come on
8:31
dude, it's okay. Yeah, she was already crawling. She was commando
8:33
crawling on the floor. You might as well just walk up
8:35
to your- Michael Jackson's fly to crime. How
8:38
are you? How are you? I'm Peyton, nice
8:40
to meet you. Nice to meet you. Hola. Okay,
8:43
so back to the energy. Your energy
8:45
is unmatched, unheard of, and it
8:47
almost seemed unreal the
8:49
first night. So then after a couple hours,
8:52
you know, dancing, everything, I was like holy shit,
8:54
this is real. He's not
8:56
slowing down. No. No, where-
8:58
does that- why'd you say no
9:00
to that? I was thinking about the after party, I'm
9:02
not going to say it. Oh yeah, yeah. The after
9:04
party was crazy. I can't say it. Wait, what did
9:06
I do? Oh, wait, what? Let's
9:09
just say there's some clips in Mama Liv's phone that
9:11
are sacred and they'll stay exactly where they are.
9:13
Please. I do not know
9:16
what we're talking about. What? You don't
9:18
know what we're talking about? I don't
9:20
want to say it. You
9:25
remember you were dancing. There was just- there was
9:27
a couple scenes where there was a- Bear Ass.
9:29
Yeah, like Liv said, Chinese listening. Got
9:38
it. So, oh my god,
9:40
my- Your energy. Wait. Are
9:45
you- I thought I had
9:47
a premonition. No, I literally like, you know when
9:49
you laugh so hard and then your head, I
9:51
literally thought I was
9:54
going to see the video, but- Oh god,
9:56
you have powers. You have
9:58
powers, yeah. That's so
10:00
Raven. No, literally, you know when
10:02
you laugh at your migraines or your temples,
10:04
you start to squeeze and press together? That's
10:06
what he gave. He said, wait. He's
10:09
like, finding the video. He's like, okay,
10:12
I remember the clip now. Jesus.
10:15
So, the question is,
10:18
does your energy come from like
10:21
childhood, how you were raised? Was there
10:23
a certain point that this switch
10:26
kind of got flipped or have you just always
10:28
been amazing, genuine, like
10:31
10 out of 10 energy person?
10:33
No, honestly, crazy enough. I
10:37
was always like spirited. I
10:39
had spirits. You
10:43
had voices. I've
10:51
always had the spirit,
10:53
but funny enough, I
10:56
was a school cat. Dude,
10:58
get the words out. I
11:01
was captained at a student section
11:03
in my school and I
11:05
won Homecoming King. Crazy
11:08
enough, we only had two high schools in our
11:11
district and I switched crazy enough.
11:13
I switched schools because I knew
11:15
I was a little bit popular
11:17
and I was going to the other school to win
11:19
prom king. So, I could be the first person,
11:21
I don't know, to ever do it. Double king.
11:24
Exactly. And then, they,
11:27
they're pretty iconic. I
11:29
switched schools in the
11:31
second semester and I
11:33
was going to win prom king and graduate from there, but
11:35
then after I figured out I was there for a month
11:37
and a half and then they told me, you know
11:39
you can't run for a prom king because you would
11:42
have had to go here for all four semesters. What
11:44
did I do? Went back. I
11:46
switched back. That's crazy. That's why
11:49
I was helped. Right.
11:51
I went back and they told me, oh all
11:53
my friends, we aren't voting you for shit.
11:56
Like why'd you switch schools? You went to our rival
11:58
school and you think you're going to come back? and
12:00
win some shit, I came back and
12:02
won Most School Spirit, Mr. BHS, and
12:04
Best All Around. Those
12:06
are my things, superlatives. Yeah, I love that word.
12:08
Yeah, it was crazy. Superlative. I
12:10
love that word. And yeah, so
12:13
from, I think when I did
12:15
competitive cheer, I started cheer in
12:17
my 11th grade year of high
12:19
school, 17 years old, and
12:21
that showed me how to encourage
12:23
others and be outgoing. Because at
12:26
first, it was like, I
12:29
would be encouraging and shit like that, but it was
12:31
like, hey,
12:33
yo, good job. And
12:36
then I feel like cheer really made me blossom into the
12:38
person I am today, very outgoing,
12:40
optimistic, encouraging. Because
12:43
performing at two and a half minute routine
12:45
on a stage, I'm like, you have to
12:47
be able to show the judges
12:49
what you're made of. Smiling the whole time,
12:51
hitting everything on beat. Exactly, on beat, everything
12:53
like that. And then my teammates encouraging me
12:56
every time I got a new skill or
12:58
anything like that. So that's where that energy
13:00
comes from, just cheering then. So you've always
13:02
had it, but cheer unlocked it. Yeah, yeah,
13:04
pretty much. That's sick. The You
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14:44
The You Should Know Podcast. How
14:46
do you, how are you, were you ever socially
14:48
awkward? No, I've never had
14:51
a problem with socializing. Never, never. Does, does,
14:53
does. No, yeah, okay, say if somebody in
14:55
the room over
14:57
there was socially awkward, what
14:59
would you do? I would approach them and
15:01
kind of break them out of their shell. I
15:04
love talking to people who are awkward. Because
15:07
I try to like, yeah, literally, we're
15:09
gonna bond somehow. Do you like, like,
15:12
do you like folding Pop-Tarts? Or do you
15:16
like sniffing pee, whatever you're into? Like
15:18
anything that is going to
15:20
get them to open up and like
15:22
talk, I love doing that, because I
15:24
hate like singling people out. But sorry,
15:26
OMG, I just had a
15:28
thought. Earlier a bitch swiped up
15:30
on my TikTok and
15:33
said Markel looked foolish. So sorry, this came
15:35
out of nowhere. I'm like, I
15:37
am human. If I was
15:39
to get a rebuttal, which I did, I deleted
15:41
my comment after. I let it sit there for
15:43
a couple of minutes because I felt like I
15:45
was that bitch. Because she said, everybody, I saw
15:47
all the comments were so nice and positive. This
15:49
just came out of left field, but forget
15:52
that whore. Um, she
15:55
literally swiped up. Let me get, let me
15:57
pull the screenshot up for verbatim. You have
15:59
a screenshot? Yeah, I literally a
16:01
screenshot it just for self-help She
16:06
swiped she said Markelle looks ridiculous
16:08
y'all are crazy I
16:10
replied now if I was to say
16:12
you look ridiculous on your wedding day. I will
16:14
be the bad guy, right? Let's just
16:17
be nice cuz I went to her store. I mean I
16:19
went to her um her TikTok and
16:22
The only video that I could see her in was
16:24
her wedding day with them parachute Don't
16:27
parachute below a shoulder pad Say
16:33
I am human and if I have a rebuttal
16:35
I'm the bad guy I feel that I like
16:37
let's just be nice if you have your opinion
16:39
stick to it and keep it to yourself Yeah,
16:41
exactly you could have kept strolling but now since you
16:43
wanted to have them out of your day It's a
16:45
cookie and I'm gonna take time out of mine because
16:48
I had time today Grammys were over
16:50
baby. So let me just tune in and
16:52
tell you about yourself Right
16:56
They they gave very much parachute flare
16:58
shoulder pads and I'm like you really
17:00
thought you ate with that mesh, babe
17:03
You really thought you did with them screaming
17:06
spaghetti noodle ass arms But I'm not even
17:08
gonna get her together like that because I
17:10
was like, you know You have to be
17:12
the bigger person and and
17:14
I just that just came out of nowhere
17:16
I was thinking about being nice to the
17:18
damn socially awkward kid That
17:21
bitch cuz she was social she had
17:23
the opinion she went out of her way,
17:25
so I wanted her to feel the The
17:29
wrath that I felt when I read her comments
17:31
so bitch you read you feel what I felt
17:33
when you read my comment And
17:39
extra applause for taking
17:41
it down afterwards not not leaving the footprint
17:43
You know but I might make a whole
17:46
tiktok about it, so That's
17:54
one problem I do have with hate comments, oh
17:56
so I'll like tell you what people call you stupid or say
17:58
you don't know I am stupid. I
18:00
am stupid. I'm fine with that. No, you're not. No,
18:03
I am ignorant. No, no. Oh, no. If I pulled
18:05
up my high school transcript. Of what? Thinking.
18:14
That was the Lord speaking says they're on a capital
18:17
article level. I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to get
18:19
it too. I'm gonna be here by the end of the
18:21
day. Thank you. We'll be there. Yeah. No. What was your
18:23
GPA? I'm curious. In where? High school?
18:25
College? Oh, you went to college? I did
18:27
off a basketball scholarship though. Got it. Athletics.
18:29
I mean athletics will get you there. Come
18:31
on now. In high school 2.4 or 5?
18:33
2.3? Is
18:37
that bad? No, they but
18:39
but but but but but but but I see
18:41
judgmental looks in the room. I'm saying they told
18:44
me. What is this reason? Oh,
18:47
Sudoko. Oh Nothing's
18:51
ever been called Sudoko ever. I think that's what
18:53
you do to Suday a dog. Sudoko.
18:58
Have you ever thought about putting your dog down? That's
19:00
an awful thought. Why?
19:03
Why? Damn Milo just started living.
19:08
He's still alive, but he's made it free.
19:10
Pray to a God that I don't
19:12
believe in. You
19:15
got this, and I got this. Okay,
19:18
you know what? Since Since
19:22
you want to be American auto right now, y'all
19:24
had a rap battle. Oh, yeah Who
19:27
won? Who ended up? Are you nuts?
19:31
Pick a song. Like to
19:33
rap on? I would prefer singing. I
19:36
took a warm green tea before we got
19:38
here. Oh vocal chords are spicy Okay,
19:41
wait, so do you want to sing a song? I
19:43
have a singing battle. Yeah, well for
19:45
copyright reasons like 10 seconds Okay, yeah, okay,
19:47
but do something I know though, please so
19:49
pick like a two bars and sing them.
19:51
You go first though. No, you go
19:53
first. You're the challenger. Yeah Amazing
19:59
grace I don't know the second I
20:01
don't I don't enjoy health Wait,
20:04
give me Sam. Sam. No, it's missile his name
20:07
Sam and uh, let's go Why
20:09
am I so emotional? It's
20:13
not a good look in some self-control
20:16
Deep down I know there's never
20:18
words Where'd
20:30
you start? Why am I so
20:32
emotional? G flat The
20:35
only thing that was flat was your vibrato but
20:38
um I'll
20:40
take it up a notch Another
20:44
day bleeds and tonight
20:46
fall And you're not
20:48
here to get me
20:50
through it all A little
20:52
pitchy but it's good You
20:55
motherfucker, that was gorgeous and you know
20:58
it That's one thing
21:00
I've never okay Okay, genuine
21:02
question. Can all black people sing? Yeah,
21:04
no, I've come to that conclusion. I
21:06
love it, but the the That
21:10
okay, is that from is that
21:12
an internal factor or is that like a swift move
21:14
of the chin? I've never mastered that you have a
21:16
good chin. I have a strong chin. I do but
21:18
um when you When
21:21
you sing is it more of you just kind of move
21:24
your shit, or is it like is it
21:26
a true gift? and You
21:29
guys have a water that yeah yours didn't I Was
21:36
trying so hard I
21:51
got some bag washing mine. That's fine. I don't need it.
21:53
I do have a question. You're totally fine I It's
22:00
not the sparkling because I don't want to
22:02
sparkle you don't like smoking water. No, really
22:05
that's that. Yes spicy and that's flat,
22:07
right That's
22:10
right, that's been refrigerated and then taken out
22:13
if that one rips off Oh,
22:30
I'm sweating So
22:32
the Lord says stay parched Oh I? Oh
22:38
Oh shit I
22:40
feel like that episode is spongebob I need you
22:44
Shandy, water That looks
22:46
like backwash You
22:48
don't have good saliva You don't have good saliva
22:52
You don't have good saliva The You
22:54
Should Know Podcast You
22:56
Should Know Podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp
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BetterHelp, me being married to Mama Liv is one
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of the most proudest and dearest things I hold
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always peaches and rainbows? Probably not, probably not, you see
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good word Hell I don't even know if it's a real one But
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23:16
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23:43
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betterhelp, help.com/y-s-k. Now
24:26
on to the rest of the episode. So
24:29
you should know podcast. Ooh,
24:31
ooh. Markel.
24:36
You've known me for a little bit. You've known me
24:38
for a little bit. Right. Why are you doing
24:40
ASL? I know to say my name is Simon.
24:43
No you don't. I
24:45
put $100 right now that it's wrong. It's not that far. You think you
24:47
know how to do it and it's not right here. My
24:50
mom took me to a sign language class when I
24:52
was six years old. Let me see. I can speak
24:54
fluently ASL. You're wrong. You
24:57
need your ass beat. You
25:00
guys. Yeah. Oh
25:04
no that's staying buddy. Alright. Huh?
25:11
You're going too fast. That's what I said.
25:14
My name. T-e-y-t-o-n.
25:20
Hello the world. Cause
25:23
you didn't impress anybody. Yeah. But you all said I
25:25
couldn't do it and I can't do it. Back
25:28
to your question guys. Okay so you've known me for
25:30
a little bit right? You see, okay a big thing
25:32
on the internet. A lot of
25:34
people think, I come to the conclusion
25:36
that I'm nasty. Like I'm a
25:38
dirty boy. Like I'm gross. I
25:41
have put on the internet I've gone an extensive amount
25:43
of time without brushing my teeth or bathing. In
25:46
conclusion you're dirty. Okay but now that you
25:48
have seen me, you've hung around me for
25:50
a while. Do I come off as a gross guy? Seeing
25:53
your steering roll in your car. Yeah.
25:57
Totally. Your
26:00
car, I mean your car steering wheel was
26:02
the greasiest thing I've ever seen. It
26:04
looked like he had a damn carton
26:07
of McDonald's fries and you just went
26:09
like this. That is absolutely what it
26:11
is. Slap the steering wheel and then
26:13
it just, you know, when
26:16
you get a brand new Apple iPhone and
26:18
you take that little screen protector off and
26:20
then you're just oily ass fingers just start.
26:22
Just starting to yawn away. It
26:24
looks like you're playing that piano game on your phone.
26:27
That's what a steering wheel looks like. I was like,
26:29
what is wrong with your steering wheel? And then he
26:31
proceeded to show me the floor and then I probably
26:33
wouldn't have noticed. Yes, I would have noticed. He told
26:35
me, don't say shit about my floor. I'm
26:37
like, why do you have like 16
26:40
water bottles received from the last four
26:42
months of purchases? Yeah, but it looks
26:44
like a baby rat family had been
26:46
like feeding on
26:49
the floor. It's just simple,
26:51
like yes or no. You know what I mean? Oh,
26:53
OK, OK. Pardon,
26:57
I had a part true. Um,
27:01
from your appearance and seeing you, I
27:03
wouldn't say you
27:05
come off as a dirty person, but
27:07
knowing you and seeing you. But
27:10
you also haven't seen his feet yet. They're
27:14
a crochet. I don't have that. Your
27:16
feet, the lower eighth
27:19
of your body looks like some sort of coffee.
27:21
I would do this right now. Yeah, let's see.
27:24
You're why are you picking? There's no way.
27:28
No. Oh,
27:30
my God. There's an extension
27:32
that overtook the room. It's too close. I'm
27:36
letting basis. What's wrong with the foot? That's
27:38
a charge in three different countries. Absolutely. What's
27:40
wrong with the foot? It's
27:42
a lot wrong with it. Why the hell is your
27:45
toenail growing under the foot? Take
27:47
a little helmet. So he's got no helmet. Your
27:52
foot is so white. It
27:54
is. And you literally always have socks
27:57
on. There's so much movement.
28:00
It literally looks like a helmet protecting your toe. It
28:02
is. It looks like you can do that
28:04
crisp brown trim where you just... And
28:08
it won't hurt. It looks like you
28:10
can slide your toes on concrete and they cross your
28:12
eyes, fading. No, your sock is black. No, the bottom
28:14
of your sock is black. There's
28:16
some discoloration. Okay. Well,
28:19
maybe my feet are the lowest part of me. But
28:23
if you just look... I'm
28:26
kidding. Okay. We...
28:29
Okay, matter... You know what? You can
28:32
start wearing the black socks. Let's try that. Okay.
28:36
Markelle, I... It's so wet. As
28:39
you focus on your disgusting little foot, I'm
28:41
gonna just... I'm gonna ask our friend a
28:43
question. I gotta would you
28:45
rather. Okay. Okay. This one's not
28:47
some of the crazy ones you always see us do. I got one of
28:49
those for later. This one's more of
28:52
a pick your brain, see your... Not
28:54
necessarily morals, but just kind of how you would go with
28:56
things. Would you rather get a $5
28:58
million check? Right now, taxes,
29:01
everything taken care of. But
29:04
you have to stop doing what you're doing. So
29:07
Markelle Washington is off the TikTok.
29:10
He's off the socials. Five million
29:12
though, bada bing bada boom. You can start whatever new
29:14
venture, but you can't do what you're doing right
29:17
now. Or remain who you are,
29:19
remain what you're doing, but you
29:21
lose half of everything. Half followers. Half
29:24
your sponsors. Half
29:26
everything. And you can't grow it. You stay at that.
29:28
Now why the hell you ask you that ain't what
29:31
he said. He could grow. He could grow. That ain't
29:33
what he said. What do you mean? If
29:35
you say, but that makes it harder, right? You just stay where you're
29:37
at. That following... That makes the question harder, but... That isn't that much
29:39
of a problem. But that ain't what he said. That ain't what he
29:41
said. Okay. We can go that. We can go that. Make it harder.
29:43
Make it sweat. Let's make... There we go. Half
29:47
everything you have. Half everything
29:49
you have is gone. He's just... He's
29:51
my comfort blanket. okay
30:02
yeah oh
30:08
my ass is wet all right here we go
30:10
fuck oh my god just keep it off right
30:16
why did I you got a hairy ass
30:18
I just saw it oh no oh boy
30:20
did you saw it no I think what
30:22
lives down there oh Jesus okay disgusting giving
30:25
man it but um
30:28
five M's gotta stop you
30:31
keep doing what you're doing you lose half of everything and
30:34
I won't be go popular
30:37
oh hey girl hey hey how
30:41
are you Valerie oh my
30:50
god I love you you're so sweet I'm in
30:52
the middle of a podcast right now can I
30:55
call you after this episode okay
30:57
sounds good I'll call you back smooches
31:05
okay you ready to buy
31:07
me life I'll probably take
31:10
the five mill yeah
31:13
okay you are you already know the counter quit this the
31:15
follow-ups coming yeah what would you do what would you do
31:17
you can't do any of this so
31:19
you got five m's you can take you take a lot of time off
31:21
just live go travel a little bit set
31:24
up some investments do whatever be taken care of but what
31:26
would you you would eventually I assume you
31:28
would get bored with not having anything to do
31:30
yeah what do you think you'd pick up what do you think would
31:32
be your next move you
31:35
know like it's this a double-sided question
31:37
cuz I
31:40
love entertaining and I would
31:43
say um I
31:45
would take the other deal and just
31:48
get all of the half back but damn I'm a
31:50
I'm a bougie bitch on a budget so I like
31:52
having the money but I don't like to spend it
31:54
but yeah like
31:58
wow Great
32:00
when you're out of no, that
32:02
was really good because then you
32:04
had different mood though, right? I'm like,
32:07
man It's like who what what's
32:09
more killed right? I don't know No, I thought
32:11
I thought I would get into acting but I
32:13
couldn't do that because I count somewhat do it
32:15
now. I Think that
32:17
would completely suit you for acting Yeah,
32:21
yeah, that's something but if you had to
32:23
stop the socials entertaining and in influencer life.
32:26
Oh, yeah, I would get in acting Yeah, I'm sure Hell
32:29
yeah. Oh, so that's easy. Hmm Bystanders
32:35
now what matter what would what would you
32:37
yeah, what would you do half of what
32:39
the fuck would you do? You
32:42
see Oh my my toes are actually
32:44
really pretty they're clear. They're so clear
32:46
things They are shiny and there was
32:48
no odor that admitted. Hello If
32:51
I were to put my hoop near your nasal,
32:53
you'd have to go to the dentist EMS It
32:56
would affect your dental hygiene, huh? Hello. I've
32:59
like my gun Present I've never seen
33:01
a helmet like that root canal in two months.
33:03
If that if his hoof is six inches from
33:05
your mouth But I
33:08
can't with the feet when you know when you go get a
33:10
pedicure and then they they they're they're
33:12
doing that sanding paper I like this like
33:15
the pumice stone Excuse me, it's a
33:17
promise the pumice stone on your phone the
33:19
bottom foot. I can't do it I've almost wanted
33:21
to kick the bitch or a puncher exactly
33:23
I don't ever fucking here cuz she'd know
33:25
and then she'll feel your leg flex up mr.
33:27
Go hard I'm like, why don't you like
33:30
why would you go harder move on to
33:32
the neck part of the foot? Why would you
33:34
remain there? Oh Like
33:37
just tap it if it's right on the top. It's just like
33:39
a little Like
33:45
a bad dog No, no, they definitely
33:47
talk shit about you when you get your feet done
33:49
hundred percent Oh
33:56
every time I've had I've had three people work on my
33:58
feet at one time. I had one One
34:00
foot one on the other in a spot you probably have
34:02
to get in a spiral Did you say you had a
34:04
spotter there was a spot like ready to catch up here
34:06
what a fast. Oh That's
34:09
very I love the preparation now
34:11
how if you got your fingers
34:13
done. What about your toe? No,
34:15
no, no, no, I haven't gotten done in a minute. Yeah.
34:17
Oh, it's like a half clear coat How
34:20
softer is it is it concerning how I've been
34:22
sweaty and wet I got a little sweaty wet
34:24
syndrome I Your
34:29
hands are way nasty bass little quit me
34:33
do you use ketchup or some shit? Like
34:40
Ketchup on and you just said uh-huh
34:43
like it's normal Right
34:45
people are putting tomato sauce on their hands. Yeah,
34:47
thank you ready with me. Thank you watch. Thank
34:49
you We're on the same way. Yeah Before
34:52
I live in she don't know pickles are
34:54
a good picky a pickles fantastic sliced or
34:56
dill You
34:58
just said you said way is prepared and
35:01
then flavor right it's sliced or
35:03
do is the whole John That's
35:06
what the question. No. No, it's not deals the flip.
35:08
What's a whole what the hole would go. That's just
35:10
called a pickle That's it This
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To the rest of the episode Uh,
36:44
y'all win my answer no, okay. No,
36:47
we do you we do you said you had
36:49
your fingers done. Oh, yeah, I did I Broke
36:52
all my fingers too at one time. Imagine
36:54
wiping your ass like that your
36:56
knuckles Right.
36:58
I had help come. Oh Okay,
37:04
you need to answer yours five million is
37:06
my answer, okay fantastic ask
37:08
him the question Oh Best
37:10
friend test me and him we asked
37:12
everybody this we've asked Giddy on this
37:15
Mark Phillips this Leo Skeppy this now
37:17
we ask you Markel, right say I
37:19
get an accident, right? I have
37:22
no no use of the hands I can't do
37:24
it anymore. I live alone. We live eight minutes
37:26
from each other. You know, I mean he claims
37:28
to be my bestest my
37:30
bubble there my Eli
37:33
a dead lady Right,
37:36
I can't I gotta clean myself.
37:39
I gotta get crevices. I asked him
37:41
what he washed me. What did you say?
37:43
I Said if I
37:46
had to the answer is yes, however,
37:48
I feel someone has
37:50
to be higher in the hierarchy before me Bye,
37:52
I feel your mom. Yeah, I feel your mom.
37:54
My mom doesn't live would move in in a
37:56
heartbeat I don't want her to learn three to
37:58
four months for your phalanges to fix it and
38:00
then she would leave. But I don't want my mom
38:02
to live with me. That would be, that would be
38:04
non advantageous to her and to I. What
38:07
advantage am I getting? Right. Well,
38:11
you get to see it. I
38:14
get to see it. Okay. And then
38:16
I asked him, he said yes to that. He would help
38:18
for a little bit, but then I said, what if I
38:20
make a request? What if I say, look me in the
38:23
eye? See, no, now
38:25
he's trying to get like, what
38:27
are we talking about? I've known it for a decade.
38:29
So you want him to look you in your eyes
38:31
as he washes your ass. How's he know he's getting
38:33
a good spot? You
38:36
do that little leg shake like the dog. You know,
38:38
your eye closes a little bit. What?
38:41
You know what I mean? Yeah, I close it a little bit, get
38:43
a little squint. He'll know he's getting the good
38:45
spot. You are. That's so
38:48
another one. Right. Literally like. But
38:51
that's my bestest friend in the whole wide world. So
38:53
if your best friend approached you with the same scenario,
38:56
what would your answer be? Yeah, right. You
38:58
can wipe that. You wipe that crack. They
39:00
break all 10 phalanges. They're walking around like
39:02
Edward Scissorhands. You got to
39:04
you got to sub in. You're the
39:06
sixth man. You're coming off the bench. Yeah,
39:10
she said. I'm like looking back at you. Would I do
39:12
that for you? Yeah,
39:15
she's weird. I
39:17
mean, well, you know, no, no, no, no,
39:19
no. S.J. on some
39:22
freaky shit. She loves a good hug and she
39:24
want to be embraced and shit all like that.
39:27
I'm just like. Yeah,
39:29
no, no. S.J. She tried. She
39:32
loves to grab my ball. Wait,
39:34
hold the hell off. Yeah. How
39:36
do you? Yeah. It's like, yeah, you have to
39:39
grab a button. Is that a one? Is
39:41
that a kid? No,
39:43
she'll give me a hug and then she'll
39:45
just like, you know, it starts on the
39:47
back and then she just lies down. And
39:49
I'm like usually on my phone. So I
39:51
give her a little sidebar hug. Oh, hey.
39:53
Yes. And when she see I'm not paying
39:55
attention, she'll just slip her hand back there.
39:57
I like that. Cam. No. Okay.
39:59
Don't get ideas. That's their move.
40:01
No, that's her move. I
40:04
don't like to participate in that It
40:06
was up to me. Her fingers would be nowhere in your my
40:08
ass and I'm like SJ She's like
40:10
come on one. I'm like, why
40:12
are you so eager to group up on the
40:15
hole like that? Is that a real? Yeah,
40:17
SJ If you're out
40:19
here wearing no underwear under your shirt, I
40:22
see them all Laughter That's
40:31
different he's like that's for sports We
40:35
are at practice. Hello. We are at
40:37
practice. Do you guys wear underwear? I'm
40:41
a I'm a big believer in the under
40:43
layers of clothing If I met
40:45
my humble abode by myself me and my lovely wife,
40:47
I might just have a basketball shirt on no underwear
40:51
Now if I was gonna be vaulted in the air doing
40:53
a couple of somersault double backflips Probably
40:56
gonna be some protection knock it wouldn't want
40:58
some just just kind of you know Fall
41:00
out or a little dingleberry just pop right
41:02
under tongues. You know to catch me. So
41:04
if I Shit
41:07
and it went on someone's tongue
41:09
during a flip Not
41:11
only would I arrest myself? I put
41:13
myself under citizens arrest I
41:15
would not I would never be able to speak that
41:17
person ever again She hates when I pass gas wait,
41:20
he just said he would catch you if you had
41:22
a dingleberry land on his tongue I
41:24
would let you fall. I Would
41:27
hope you let me fall see that's the difference
41:29
like y'all like what why you're
41:31
playing this loyal card I love
41:33
it. I love it. Okay. Let's
41:35
talk about a loyal card your
41:38
friend over there mama lives Oh, I
41:40
got a story about her. She's just as nasty
41:42
as me, right? You
41:45
told me to do something and I've never
41:47
been able to forgive myself Tell me I'm
41:49
interested so my first apartment whenever I moved
41:52
to Dallas right now I was broke couldn't
41:54
afford a nice place right I was living
41:56
in and you all remember that apart I
41:58
don't know if your tattoo says Philippine Philippians
42:00
to my mom's hair. Oh, sorry mom. Sorry, right?
42:02
No, no, no, sorry mom. It just gives like
42:10
It's very much the uh Vision
42:15
we it what is it called a
42:17
talus? What is that? Now
42:20
is that the font the font? I
42:22
think it is a times enrollment or
42:25
when it gets planted 12 ball. It
42:27
gives it gives bulging like font
42:29
Okay, it gives command. I yeah. Yeah.
42:31
Yeah. Yeah, yeah Well
42:34
back to my mother Right. So
42:36
okay. I lived in the hood right
42:38
I couldn't afford like a nice place
42:40
So things didn't work all the time
42:42
right first time that I moved in
42:44
they came over hang out with me It's
42:47
been a little quality time as a tree. All
42:49
right. I have to pee real bad, right?
42:51
That's pure bad I was drinking alcohol. We're all having
42:54
a good time housewarming. I go to
42:56
the el banyo. So I'm call it the toilet I'm going
42:58
to pee in there, right? What do you buy you? Okay
43:13
We need sausage got it Vienna
43:16
How's gonna pee in the toilet was
43:19
definitely clogged? Definitely clogged
43:21
still haven't found the culprit to this day, right?
43:25
trying to Plumber it
43:27
out. You need to think of your
43:29
actions when what context is about penis
43:32
What's the action to plumb something? Just
43:34
say you tried to get it. I tried
43:36
to unclog it, right? I'm trying to unclog
43:38
the toilet was an unclog it right I
43:41
go to them be like I have to pee Really
43:43
bad. I cannot pee on top of this clogged toilet
43:45
Who's to that point of almost overflow like my bat
43:47
like my floor would have gotten a little bit of
43:49
a little bit of potty You know what I mean?
43:51
So I go to my friends and I'm like guys
43:53
I have to pee. What do I do? Mama
43:56
live gives me an idea. She
43:58
goes go downstairs to the library lobby right
44:01
go downstairs to the lobby they probably have
44:03
a good idea a community
44:05
restroom for everybody I
44:07
go down there shit doesn't work
44:09
like the door handle just doesn't work it's late
44:11
at night there's no one to call doesn't work
44:14
I don't know where to be I go back
44:16
upstairs so my friends I go it's
44:18
locked what do I do mama
44:20
Liv tells me yeah use
44:24
the sink she goes to the
44:27
tub she says go piss
44:29
in the tub why are
44:32
you looking at me like that's normal
44:34
it is y'all pee and tubs you
44:36
don't piss while you shower yep
44:40
you piss when you shower oh I'm just in
44:42
the pool I can't swim I don't
44:45
go in pools yeah you're definitely afraid of water
44:47
wait what I can't swim I don't go water
44:49
you like it no you like terrified I'm
44:57
talking like maximum is he your dad
44:59
why he is the Caucasian male okay
45:01
so I feel like did you not
45:03
take some classes or no you didn't
45:05
have a private swimming cooler right no
45:07
we did a private swimming cooler no
45:09
I never get swimming glasses but I'm
45:12
literally like the low-key black Michael Velt but I
45:14
don't get it I don't get the point of
45:16
swimming I'm low key a fucking dolphin hey what
45:18
you know what do you get to the
45:20
point of swimming okay what do you
45:22
do in there you get in there you're wet right splash
45:25
around whatever put your head
45:28
under you see a floating band-aid going
45:30
across a little Timmy just shit
45:32
three meters away from you and then you get
45:34
up hey well you're a nasty ass pools yeah
45:36
you've never you've never been to a beach you
45:38
went a nice ocean private school you weren't I
45:40
never got into school yes you did you were
45:42
a bow tie to I never never owned an
45:44
ascot wore a bow tie once didn't look good
45:46
on me so I stopped that never
45:49
went to private school but I don't understand I don't
45:51
understand the fun of pools because every time I get
45:53
out I just want a cold sandwich a big head
45:55
ass look here when you I
45:57
just envision like a big
45:59
ass head with a little bitty ass neck like
46:01
that's just what it gives bobble
46:03
neck pain like just in did you were
46:05
you in the band cuz I heard you
46:08
say you weren't popular earlier no I was
46:10
not in journalism and he wore a tail
46:12
to school yeah you remember the tail face
46:14
no bitch you're furry no not
46:16
a furry it was like furs before for like just
46:18
a little clip on tail he had a duct tape
46:20
wallet suspenders you remember that's right the
46:22
cat daddy yeah so the super skinny jeans
46:24
with the Supras in the studded belts with
46:26
the now they're actually rocks I'm super is
46:29
come on down I wouldn't touch it yeah
46:31
you're better than me I wouldn't touch and
46:33
then a little tail you give a little
46:35
tail it was a
46:37
right where your asses now you put on this like
46:39
belt loop to the right right on the hip you
46:41
got a little hit like the Elmo shirts like the
46:43
trucks it had a
46:46
world but daddy bought a skateboard doesn't know
46:48
how to skate he was that type of
46:50
kid 45 silly bands up the arm yeah
46:52
dazzled blazers for presentations about
46:54
Saddam Hussein it's a
46:58
fact I had a bus to the dog when
47:00
he made a paper mache and
47:02
I had a bedazzled blazer talking about it was
47:04
a lit presentation 98 coach
47:06
welch's class seventh grade how you
47:08
doing stop winking 98 Olivia
47:14
stay on the blue stay on the blue I love you I love
47:16
it oh yeah no yeah that
47:22
was the kind of kid I don't understand swimming but you
47:25
were a big it as good I had
47:27
a good size skull he also I forgot to mention
47:29
he also had hair that went down to the middle
47:31
of his back yeah
47:33
like a toy Paula maulo yeah yeah
47:36
no yeah like a bunch every time I was like
47:38
hey when are your titties out of it
47:42
you're like what's that like girl you got
47:44
the most she's a means like how
47:46
about a hair behind the
47:48
ear I'm a boy I got that a lot
47:51
this and then this twirling the tail around me
47:53
oh my god like every time we have somebody
47:55
else on the podcast everybody just it's not even
47:57
a go plan is damn And
48:00
if you are a victim card,
48:02
it's not even a gang. It's he has now
48:04
been, your information has been unleashed on
48:06
him all in one sitting. It's hard to take. I'm
48:09
not going to, I get doses week by week. We
48:12
do this segment called
48:16
Dr. P. Oh, you're in love.
48:19
You know Dr. P. Yeah. You
48:21
definitely know Dr. P. You can help Dr. P. You
48:23
can be my secretary. Against doctor. Don't touch me.
48:26
I thought I was a secretary. I
48:28
can be your treasury. I
48:30
don't have you just struck me and I'm taking
48:32
you to HR. I am HR. Here we
48:34
go. Sing it
48:36
with me. Come on. You were there. Dr.
48:39
P. Dr.
48:43
P. Dr. P. Dr.
48:45
P. There
48:47
we go. I'm
48:49
sorry. I'm sorry to do the harmony, but you can
48:52
find your notes. So that's why we struggled. We try
48:54
to harmonize with me quick. You starting off. I'm gonna
48:56
read it. Hello.
49:03
Oh. This
49:14
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the rest of the episode Loki
50:51
was our strong base that we need a oh
50:53
you're the vibrato. Uh Mm-hmm,
50:55
dear dr. P. Hello. This is this week's
50:57
segment chosen at random. Let's see. Oh God
51:01
the the caption is I'm toxic and I
51:03
don't care. That's what I like to hear
51:06
This is from a female sending in dear dr.
51:08
P. I really like this guy, but I don't
51:10
know if he likes me I
51:12
want to be with him so bad, but I think he has a girlfriend.
51:14
I Have
51:17
dreams about him all the time.
51:19
And if he has a girlfriend, I want to break them up
51:21
right now We've been friends
51:23
for a couple of years now But I've
51:26
always thought he was fine and now I have the biggest crush
51:28
on him and I don't know if I want to tell him
51:30
I like him So,
51:32
how do I break them up right now? And
51:35
then do I tell him I like him? Yes, I want you
51:37
to go first Okay,
51:40
what is your advice to this to this hopefully
51:44
lovely young woman I Don't
51:49
be a homewrecker. Mm-hmm I'm
51:51
like don't want a wreck at home if the home
51:53
ain't broken Now if you
51:55
see that it's a crack in the
51:57
glass. Mm-hmm Mmm.
52:02
Oh. You
52:05
know, for example, Mama
52:10
Liv and Cam's marriage, stable
52:13
household, the concrete ain't
52:15
bending. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Now
52:18
if you go to Peyton and
52:20
his hand, that's not
52:23
a safe relationship. The glass
52:25
is breaking. It is cracked for sure.
52:27
It is shattering. So
52:29
therefore, if it's a relationship like that, you
52:32
can step in and encourage, like, you
52:34
know, you deserve better. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
52:36
Don't tell him it's yourself yet, because that's eternal. Won't
52:39
do that. Mm-mm. But
52:41
you deserve better for yourself. Mm-mm. You
52:43
shouldn't have to deal with that. And then
52:45
once you get that, you know, you're
52:48
right. Boom. After
52:51
it goes, you say, hey, can we go
52:53
to coffee? Yeah. I'm dropping dinner. I
52:55
like that a lot. You know what I say? That relationship.
52:58
You know what you do? You go right in there. You leave
53:00
breadcrumbs. You know what I mean? Dr. P's
53:02
a little toxic. I see. You know what I
53:04
mean? You leave breadcrumbs. You know what I mean? You get along with
53:06
the boyfriend, right? And you tell, hey,
53:08
oh, girl,
53:11
you know, you really like her? He's like, yeah, what you mean?
53:13
That's why I go over there. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Act
53:15
like you don't... And then you leave that
53:17
breadcrumb in his mind. He'll be like, why'd she ask me
53:19
that? She's feeling it? She's sadistic. Hey,
53:22
sorry, son. The doctors are working over there. Just
53:24
taking... Leave that breadcrumb. You know what I mean?
53:26
Oh, why didn't she ask you that? You
53:29
don't be thinking about that. And you pull back
53:31
a little bit. You know what I mean? Pull back. She's
53:33
giving all this attention. Why'd she pull back? Only
53:36
attention. And
53:39
then right whenever he starts getting hungry, why
53:41
didn't he get hungry? Why is he asking
53:43
that? There's a couple breadcrumbs. Then you give
53:45
him a little... A
53:48
little play with the earlobe. You're sick little bastard.
53:51
Little extra winks. You know? You go to his
53:53
highlights on his Instagram store. You like the old
53:55
ones. You like the mold highlights. Whoo!
53:59
Right! I don't like that face. It's
54:01
not to be it's not Peyton. It's not me We
54:05
don't we don't know these hoes gonna
54:07
play all this if you go low
54:09
I'm going to hell I'm
54:11
gonna like your daddy highlights Well,
54:15
he was a freshman in high school bitch. I'm
54:17
gonna like him when he made varsity cuz that's
54:19
how good he was All
54:22
I'm saying is I feel like she's justified
54:24
having these feelings. I feel like he might be giving her
54:27
Some of you like you know, I mean
54:29
some thoughts like to make her able
54:32
to have those thoughts No, some bitches are
54:34
just crazy and they envision those thoughts that
54:36
just aren't present. I want those girls. I
54:40
Like a little crazy. I want a girl
54:42
to be watching me eat dinner You
54:44
know, I mean and say how can I poison this? You
54:47
know, but I like that that means you care. I don't
54:50
like anybody's too cool You
54:52
are ash backwards. No, no.
54:55
Yeah You like crazy no the guy
54:57
don't know you pointing fingers at me and she likes
54:59
crazy Somebody has
55:01
to like you like crazy Yes
55:09
Yeah, but I'm Bob No
55:11
one wants to marry me. They see my lifestyle.
55:13
They say your toenails have a helmet you
55:16
smell like McDonald's You can't one's me you
55:18
pee in tubs That's enough Thank
55:22
you for that I need you around not
55:25
that fuck your bags no, they don't nobody
55:27
wants your ass them told turtle helmet toes
55:30
Get them fix first. We
55:33
got to be honest and realistic here. It
55:35
is 2024 clean a damn
55:37
steering wheel and then maybe somebody won't show
55:39
ass So that damn
55:42
receipt the way hello clean a man
55:44
water bottle. I'm getting a chef You
55:47
know what it's like it's like
55:49
I go he goes from fast food to
55:52
just hmm. I gotta have someone cook for me
55:56
Let's just just cook one
55:58
right one chicken, I said taco shells
56:00
on fire last time I tried to cook. Well, uh, one more
56:02
to end it. Would
56:05
you rather every time you say, hi,
56:07
hello, how you doing? Any introduction, you
56:09
immediately sneeze afterwards, or every time somebody
56:11
asks you a question, you have the urge to fart. Can
56:16
I get a picture? You get approached a lot, so it's
56:18
always gonna be, oh, you're Markell, how's it going? You're like,
56:20
hey, I'm sorry, how, or
56:23
Markell, is that you? Yes. I
56:26
think it's a fair question. Either shitty
56:29
britches, or you're gonna be sneezy Washington.
56:33
Sneezy McGee. Why, you, you
56:35
snailed me. The
56:41
silence. My life's hard
56:43
anyway, so probably his knees. Oh,
56:45
oh, wait, you're a farter. Yeah.
56:48
He farted on the plane today here. He stunk up the
56:50
whole aircraft and almost had to switch planes. I
56:52
saw your kneecaps gonna go under the seat. It
56:55
was so bad. Probably one was in the damn
56:57
column. You were sitting like Chris Cross
56:59
Indian style. Yeah, we were 35-y. We
57:02
can't afford those up there at U-Shado, you know what I
57:05
mean? Oh. This seems
57:07
to happen quite often. And
57:10
you're getting a shot. Priorities.
57:14
Right, let's think to move up to 15 first. You
57:18
said your kneecaps are bleeding? Yeah, your
57:21
kneecaps are limited to green beans. Well,
57:24
you probably first class all the time? No,
57:26
no, no, no. I get my Delta comfort point. I
57:31
mean, my Delta Sky Malice points. So
57:33
I'm a gold medallion member right now.
57:35
So therefore, even if I buy basic
57:37
economy, they still upgrade me to comfort.
57:39
Hello. Before first class, yeah. It's not
57:41
my fault. I booked through Expedia for our trips. Why
57:44
would you do that? Because you can fly in a hotel. All
57:47
wrapped in one. All wrapped in one. Package deal,
57:49
cheap, or? Well, that's what
57:51
your ass got. That's a 35-y. That's
57:54
that 35-e. What was
57:56
the airline? American. Not
58:00
a problem Mages will literally love to
58:02
delay their flights every American by
58:04
been on in the past three weeks has been
58:06
delayed and then one Oh my god woman was
58:09
eating a wretched burrito by the middle of the
58:11
flight. Oh What it
58:13
was right? It was a burrito, but
58:15
it smelled as if someone was just
58:17
vomiting but it was no Like
58:20
that started talking like where'd you get a burrito?
58:23
Oh, thank you. Yeah boy scoff and
58:25
half a can of the dry give
58:27
a fucking number eight from Taco Bell What
58:29
is happening? Sorry? It's all right. Can't collapse
58:31
when the plane lands. All right That
58:34
is that is very
58:37
very Caucasian Shit
58:40
that is y'all made
58:42
it. Yeah, like yeah, man No,
58:47
I can see all right guys one more
58:49
time for Markelle, Washington I say so much
58:52
the one and only Markelle Thank
58:54
you guys so much for having me. Yeah, they're great
58:57
time next time. We'll do something for you You'll teach
58:59
me how to dance or only gone your TikTok or
59:01
Snapchat or something. No, that'll be great Honestly, you should
59:03
just get those turtle helmets peppers. Did I say it
59:05
look like you can slide on concrete? What were you
59:08
about? Know
59:12
it literally you can just why you know how to
59:14
soccer players do the knee slot Yeah
59:21
All right, give us a secret code. Okay
59:23
secret code is E
59:30
M-e-u take a
59:32
guess Markelle eat absolutely
59:34
not Markelle's energy
59:37
unmatched Markelle's energy on that Your
59:40
code get your good karma confuse the
59:43
casuals leave it everywhere leave it on
59:45
the videos patreon everywhere Give
59:47
give some love to Markelle in the comments. He's fantastic. We
59:49
love them. See you mo We're gonna be
59:51
I don't know when this is coming out, but if
59:53
it hasn't happened already, we're gonna be in Austin March
59:55
1st It's almost sold out. So get your tickets right
59:58
now take us now Markelle's gonna be there I
1:00:00
will! PFFT! PFFT! Alright
1:00:02
guys, remember, One out of
1:00:04
ten koala bears You gotta flip your
1:00:06
shoe, you gotta flip your hooves up in the air What?
1:00:08
You gotta flip that hoove up in the air And do
1:00:10
what? Catch it? Yeah Oh that's easy
1:00:12
Yeah, here we go One out of ten koala bears, don't
1:00:15
make it home to Christmas Hello? What's that?
1:00:17
It's your turn Wait, dude, put it back You didn't
1:00:19
tell me where Oh yeah It's in like
1:00:21
the middle of the sentence He's got a good
1:00:23
point, I told him on cue, didn't tell him the
1:00:26
cue Yeah, yeah, well, kinda our fault Alright One out of
1:00:29
ten koala bears Now your long
1:00:31
ass foot Damn, total helmet Hell
1:00:34
of a damn helmet Raggedy ass We'll see you
1:00:36
next time Wait, I want those I'm
1:00:38
starting to think it's your aim Right, one more time You
1:00:41
know, I threw bitches not
1:00:43
shoes Peyton, let me throw
1:00:46
ya Wait Dude,
1:00:48
my panties are twisted up There you
1:00:50
go I can grip a lot of things Get
1:00:52
it Oh
1:00:55
no You said come here Right Get
1:00:59
over here Wait I
1:01:02
can't grab you What's wrong? Dude,
1:01:06
wait, just chill Just chill Come
1:01:08
here, come here, dude Come here Peyton,
1:01:12
come here How
1:01:14
is that puff? It
1:01:17
literally felt like something just was Nashed
1:01:20
your ass up Oh, we're still recording Alright guys, thank
1:01:22
you See you next time Oh
1:01:24
man Oh, there we go Oh god
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