Podchaser Logo
Home
TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN! -You Should Know Podcast-

TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN! -You Should Know Podcast-

Released Monday, 5th February 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN! -You Should Know Podcast-

TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN! -You Should Know Podcast-

TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN! -You Should Know Podcast-

TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN! -You Should Know Podcast-

Monday, 5th February 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.

Use Ctrl + F to search

0:01

Hey everybody,

0:08

welcome back to the Usheno Podcast Episode

0:10

98. Round

0:14

of applause please.

0:16

Oh thank you.

0:19

I'm very grateful. I'm very grateful.

0:21

Hey everybody, welcome back to the Usheno Podcast

0:24

Episode 98. If you are new

0:26

here, if you don't know where you look below, you should subscribe to this channel.

0:28

If you look even more below, you see

0:30

that comment section isn't fulfilled with your name.

0:33

Guess what? Even more, go ahead and fill that

0:35

out and get your good karma. Hey, for the people that don't skip

0:37

the intros, I want to tell you something right now. Now

0:40

we have a secret code. The secret code is

0:42

2W. You

0:44

know why? I'll tell you

0:46

why in a second, but for all the intro watchers and

0:49

listeners, you are my favorite people. So right now I'm going

0:51

to pick out who that is. In the comment section right

0:53

now, put in 2Y. It

0:57

should have been 2W because I've had

0:59

to say 2 weeks. But

1:02

now it's our secret. We are two

1:04

weeks away from Episode 100 of the

1:06

Usheno Podcast. Round

1:08

of applause for that. Yup,

1:11

yup, yup. Two weeks away

1:13

from Episode 100, the biggest,

1:16

the most important, the most special

1:18

episode of Usheno Podcast history.

1:21

The biggest surprise in Usheno Podcast

1:23

history is happening on Episode 100.

1:27

We have so many cool things planned

1:29

after Episode 100. The

1:32

Usheno Podcast is never going to be the

1:34

same after Episode 100. So in

1:36

two weeks, be prepared for that. But we

1:38

have some very special things other than

1:40

Episode 100 coming up. We are going

1:43

to Tampa, Florida in about a week or

1:45

so, right? February 17th, we're in Tampa, Florida.

1:47

I think there's like literally like

1:49

11 tickets left. So if you want to come to

1:52

Tampa, Florida, click the link in the description right now,

1:54

get your tickets and then we're going home to

1:57

Austin, Texas where the Usheno Podcast was birthed out

1:59

of my life. I don't know out

2:01

of my little urethra the

2:03

usual podcast was born in Austin,

2:05

Texas Let's celebrate that March 1st the

2:07

home town Show be

2:10

sure to add us on Facebook link in the

2:12

description add us on patreon link in the description

2:14

We love you so so so so

2:17

so much to why for all

2:19

the intro listeners We love you now

2:21

on to the rest of the episode

2:24

Oh That

2:38

burp was for all of you that tell me I

2:40

burped too much you're disgusting by the way You

2:44

have a warm coffee drink

2:47

and a ice-cold white monster

2:49

and I see you cycle

2:51

through it, okay Coffee

2:55

hot boiling nasty mouth and you go.

2:57

Oh, let's wash it down with Arctic

2:59

free snow cone taurine monster I

3:02

can explain myself a science and a rhythm everything. Oh

3:04

my god The only thing

3:06

I'm missing is a drink. The only thing I'm missing

3:08

is a water If I

3:10

had a water, I don't want your that

3:12

water has been sitting by a window for

3:14

about three and a half months You're drinking

3:16

plastic. I I would be willing to argue.

3:18

It's been longer Okay,

3:20

but can I explain to you what I do? It's

3:23

not gonna make sense but humor me so the coffee

3:25

is to warm up the warm up the palate before

3:28

I speak for three Hours straight. I warm up the

3:30

palate. You know what I mean? I warm up the

3:32

palate in the throat. It's good I put extra espresso

3:34

in here. Your palate is burnt already There's no more

3:36

warm warming it up, but then I like the taste

3:39

of this and it cools me down And it gives

3:41

me like a spike coffee is more like a steady

3:43

incline of energy. This is like a

3:45

spike This is like a quick little have you ever

3:47

sat on a thumbtack? Never actually

3:49

I do that So I have sometimes you you've

3:52

set on some tech in high school a lot

3:54

for pleasure or pain or accident It

3:56

was accident. It was acted all the time, but I'm just saying

3:58

I was in it. I was in your book class

4:00

right and we I was responsible

4:03

for football you

4:09

were in it I was a journalist dude

4:14

oh my god I was in your book I would go around

4:16

and pull kids out of the class and interview them why I

4:18

mean the middle of like

4:22

problem seven

4:25

and someone knocks on my door like

4:27

hey can we get Cameron Kennedy for

4:29

a quick interview oh god forbid my

4:31

name's Cameron Kennedy I'm the most popular

4:33

kid in school no paparazzi I hate

4:35

it whenever you're doing your job it's

4:38

like catch me in passing period oh

4:40

that's not my oh don't remove me

4:42

from my education my ears

4:44

are ringing you're a nerd first of all second

4:46

of all a 4.05 semester straight

4:50

we have the same job so no

4:54

but I can't get you in the

4:56

passing period because guess what my passing

4:58

period too I'm not I'm clocked out

5:00

of journalism class I'm not a journalist

5:03

all seven periods of the day your

5:05

journalist coach that's one thing

5:07

your book definitely didn't think it was a

5:09

class they thought it was half sport half

5:12

half job to lifestyle yeah oh my god

5:14

that's a lifestyle yeah how do

5:16

you think we're gonna get the news out okay answer

5:18

me this why does it take eight months to make

5:20

the book because it's a

5:23

full year book it's not the

5:25

first semester book dumbass give me

5:27

three months I have the yearbook same quality

5:30

and I just as as the year goes on you put stuff in

5:32

there are you being ignorant right now you're being for real I'm being

5:35

for okay the design of

5:37

piss me off the design of the

5:39

oh I'm talking to a sweet spot

5:41

there's like a pin you're like a

5:43

division one prospect you're like I really

5:46

want to take my talents to journalism

5:48

school to the full-sale University I'm going

5:50

mom this is what we've been waiting

5:53

no no if you gave me three

5:55

and a half months okay I understand the yearbook has the

5:57

whole you okay what about this spring sports sports

6:00

Okay, what about Spring Theater? Spring-

6:02

Listen. I have a problem. Listen.

6:05

You listen with your ears. I

6:07

almost said oh-ho's. That's your eyes, right? I

6:09

had tubes in my ears as a kid. You were

6:11

the worst kid ever. You were the worst kid ever.

6:13

You were the worst kid ever. You had tubes in

6:15

your ears, long Troy Paul Amalo hair, tail, suspenders, the

6:17

dress of James Naismith. It was all different in time

6:19

periods. Don't act like it was the same year I

6:21

did that. It was all in about maybe

6:23

two years. I know, tubes whenever I came out of the cliffhanger. Yeah,

6:25

46. 46

6:28

silly bands on your left hand. I'm

6:31

saying your voice is super skinny. I had

6:33

a skateboard and didn't know how to use

6:35

it. Trucks. Oh my

6:38

God. What? Oh my God. That's

6:40

the kid you were. Yeah. You had the

6:42

skull candy earbuds instead of the Apple ones just so

6:44

you could be different. That was all we could afford.

6:46

No, no, no, no, no. The Apple ones

6:48

came with the phone back then. I didn't have the iPhone.

6:50

I didn't get an iPhone. Oh my God, you had a

6:53

razor. Oh my God, you had a razor. I had the

6:55

flip. You had a razor. You called hits on it and

6:57

like a rotary phone. So

6:59

yeah, you always had a rotary

7:01

phone. Dude, you, you

7:04

could have been the greatest criminal if you wanted to be. You

7:06

had so many eggs and

7:08

so many baskets. Okay. You

7:10

were cool with everyone. So wait, in middle school you had

7:12

an iPhone? No, I didn't get my first phone until I

7:14

was 17. I was about to say,

7:16

oh my God, you're a prisoner. I

7:18

had the brick Nokia. Yeah. It

7:21

was about the size of half a gram cracker. Yeah. Didn't

7:23

fold, didn't scoop, none of that. Yeah. I

7:25

got the slide John. I never got the iPhone. Okay.

7:27

I'm not going to lie. I skipped

7:29

the face. I made the worst mistake ever. What happened? I

7:31

bought one of those Google Android phones simply because the beats

7:34

logo was on the back and I thought that means it

7:36

came with all the music in the world. I

7:38

literally, I literally thought I had a free

7:40

subscription to any tune. I wanted to listen

7:42

to you. You got so disappointed. I got

7:44

it. The app store was asshole

7:46

and the music sounded horrid. And I said, get

7:48

rid of my, my, my brother, my mom found

7:51

my old iPhone. That's why I read the, uh,

7:53

the, oh my God. And they

7:55

sent me pictures of my messages

7:57

with angel tie, angel tie.

7:59

was my friend yeah

8:01

and she was a good hooper and a great friend but

8:04

I since all you you hijacked the

8:06

beginning of the episode because I had something that I've

8:08

it's been eating me alive for the past week that

8:10

haven't been able to say to you in person but

8:12

I've been waiting for the podcast I

8:16

called out guac for it

8:19

what guac my friend guac like

8:21

where these friends you know you know

8:23

you know guac well you

8:26

you call this person guac yeah

8:28

I called I called guac

8:30

out for this okay and

8:33

I'm gonna call you out okay and I might call you out too

8:35

okay I'm calling all my friends

8:37

out because y'all are all fake okay why

8:40

did no one tell me that I got fat in

8:42

my face why

8:46

did nobody say that to me I did

8:48

you know you

8:56

didn't get fat yes I did I did you

8:58

didn't you have facial hair that's all it is

9:00

no it's my cheeks yes is right

9:02

here I got fat see right what the hell wait

9:06

are you yeah I'm

9:08

getting fat in my face you know what's going on

9:10

there's nothing wrong with it I'm missing there's nothing wrong

9:12

but I tell me to happen like how do you

9:14

get fat just in your cheekbone I don't move my

9:17

ass a little bit too well

9:19

tiger tiger I know cuz I my

9:21

my diet to be honest but

9:24

doesn't like no I got a little thick here too no I

9:26

got a little poopa I got a

9:31

little poopa what you want to give that acronym no no

9:34

I got that in my face so wait

9:38

look at me wait shut up no look at me don't

9:42

laugh don't look no you can't tell when I'm like

9:44

this you can but watch me smile watch

9:47

me smile what'd you know you

9:49

can barely see my eyes if you know dude

9:52

dude remember chiseled I used to be you used

9:54

to be very chiseled what happened it's called life

9:56

no okay and that's messed up okay

9:59

look Well, you're not I

10:01

was going through tiktok right in my hope for you

10:03

pages on Like there's a hundred

10:06

different couch out to y'all But I

10:08

was going through and I looked at like

10:10

a pie gas my three months ago And

10:12

I was like I look good in that and

10:14

then I saw any go to last and then I was

10:16

like I don't look like that anymore. What's different? I was

10:19

like in my beard And

10:21

then I was like I've gotten fat in my face and

10:23

then so I kept it inside for about I've been thinking about this For

10:25

like a month. I was like I kept it

10:28

inside and I needed somebody to call me out I don't think it

10:30

would be my loved ones and my friends. It wasn't

10:33

it was the comment section Somebody in the

10:35

common one in the college. I'm gonna say is it

10:37

me or is this pain face get fat? That's

10:41

y'all's fault. Okay, that's my little eating yellow. No, no,

10:43

I don't give a shit I get called me. I

10:45

don't think it stings more because it didn't come from

10:47

it Because it didn't come because y'all are supposed to

10:49

be the ones that hold me down I didn't realize

10:51

it here I give you a little leeway and

10:54

you a little leeway because you said y'all

10:56

see me every day exactly Hardness,

10:58

but I told and guac I told guac about

11:00

this too I was I told her I was

11:03

like why didn't you tell me my face got

11:05

that? She's like it's not fat and I was

11:07

given notice a change in my face And she

11:09

was like whoa when I was leaving you

11:12

did smile in front of an area I was like I just

11:14

said thought you were getting more fool More

11:16

fool. That's a nice way saying your

11:19

face. What if she went? Playing

11:22

with it, bro. No, you're not. No, I am

11:24

listen to no. No, I'm losing to myself I

11:27

caught it. Yeah, I need to see the video

11:29

you refer Just go back to like episode like

11:32

60 what if I went back in is literally

11:34

like a different it isn't it is I got

11:36

My face got that it can't and I'm saying

11:38

is I'm disappointed in both of y'all Because y'all

11:40

supposed to be my bestest friends and we're supposed

11:42

to yarn supposed to hold me back for me If

11:45

I would have known I would tell you the other crazy

11:48

just like you tell me all the time that I'm Oh There

11:52

you what oh your nipples

11:54

are nasty Okay,

12:00

now we're talking about this. I have a genuine quest for you.

12:02

It's gonna be a test What

12:04

physical feature about me makes you the

12:06

most uncomfortable penis? You

12:25

All right, that's genuinely what physical people

12:28

What physical feature about me makes you the

12:30

most like when you look at it on

12:32

my body? You're like I have two things

12:34

okay honest to God answers on the God

12:37

lower back and rib cage It's one of

12:39

the two Lower back rib cage

12:41

in a close bronze medalist like they barely made the

12:43

podium behind the knees That's it.

12:46

What's wrong, but or your feet. Oh my god.

12:48

You're feet. I know you're feet, but they're always

12:50

covered Yeah, you always have yeah, so it was

12:52

so my lower back. What's wrong my lower back

12:54

unbelievably hairy unbelievably skinny My lower

12:56

back is not hairy You

12:58

either just shaved it Okay,

13:02

so then it'd be ribs well

13:09

My room now that the taco beef is gone

13:11

from your lower back. It's your room What's wrong

13:13

my ribs when I look at

13:15

it? I if I had to if I look at

13:17

my last sight in life was your rib cage for

13:19

the rest of my life I would always think you

13:22

breathe like oh That's how that's

13:24

how I met Okay,

13:26

okay One

13:35

of them I was gonna defend myself did come after you

13:37

okay the defending myself is the last girl I talked to

13:39

she always used to like strum my lower back here, and

13:41

it made me feel so at home She's

13:48

drummed dude is playing g-flat

13:51

Lower back here She

13:53

deserves hell so at home so

13:56

yeah and the cat is safe. That's

13:58

love No, that is that

14:01

is sacrifice. Give me your lower back. No, give

14:03

me your lower back. No, I'll strum

14:05

you Let me strum you come

14:07

here. Give me that oh My

14:10

god, bro Yo,

14:14

if I didn't know you if the only

14:17

first side I had of you was your

14:19

lower back I would teach you your name

14:21

is Beatrice. You serve nuggets at

14:23

the local elementary I Have

14:27

a lunch lady back a lunch lady back. I

14:29

have a lunch lady back. Yeah, that's it This

14:35

episode is brought to you by our friends at Tushy In

14:38

the future people are gonna laugh about how we used

14:40

to just leave dirty poo-poo and our bums. Hey, you

14:42

know me Can you know I'm good for a couple

14:44

dingleberry rusty bum, right? You know when you poop you

14:47

think you get it with the wipes you think you're

14:49

taking care of you think you're doing the right thing

14:51

You're not you're not what you need in your life

14:53

is a good old Tushy

14:56

has finally made number two clean up more

14:58

hygienic and better for the environment They knew

15:00

what they were doing sponsor this episode You

15:03

can now have a fresh stream of water the same

15:05

water as your sink or shower to clean

15:07

up your bum After every poop I've been

15:09

having some bad poops recently I wish I

15:11

got to see soon for all the dirty

15:13

bum bum people like me that's been living

15:16

life Just wiping get you a little touch

15:18

Tushy's bidets are easy to set up on

15:20

any toilet in under 10 minutes You can

15:22

set up your at-home bidet that will change

15:24

your life forever. I'm not even kidding. This

15:26

product is life-changing It took

15:28

me two and a half days to

15:30

put up a desk 10 minutes with

15:32

the Tushy for a limited time our listeners get 10% off

15:35

their entire order at hello Tushy

15:38

comm go to H E L

15:40

L O T U S

15:42

H Y Dot-com and use our

15:45

code Y S K for 10%

15:47

off. It's time to get rid of those skid marks

15:49

once and for all It's no secret that toilet paper

15:52

is bad for the environment. We all know that so

15:54

not even it's like a personal thing Where your butt

15:56

is dirty, but you're gonna be helping the earth use

15:58

toilet paper of using excess toilet paper paper is

16:00

bad for the earth. Imagine being more clean

16:02

and keeping the earth more clean. Every Tushy

16:04

bidet comes with a 30 day hassle free

16:07

return in a 12 month

16:09

one year warranty. It's risk free to

16:11

join over 3 million real

16:14

pooping human beings. I'm one of them

16:16

who have made the switch to a

16:18

cleaner and more confident butt. Get that

16:20

fresh out of the shower feeling at

16:22

hellotushy.com for a

16:24

limited time. Our listeners get 10%

16:26

off your entire order when you

16:28

use code YSK at

16:31

checkout. That's 10% off

16:33

your order at h-e-l-l-o-t-u-s-h-y.com

16:35

with promo code YSK.

16:38

It's time to back

16:40

that ass up with

16:42

confidence. Now on to

16:45

the rest of the episode. You

16:48

should know podcast. You

16:50

have a lot of nerd to come after me

16:52

for my ribs and my

16:55

lower back. Let's take a poll in

16:57

this room. How are cams nipples?

17:00

My nipples are fine. Slightly translucent. Show

17:02

them on the internet. I'm not showing

17:04

my nipples. I'm not showing my nipples.

17:06

Because they're not currently shaved. I'll

17:08

shave you'll get your nippies. Hell yeah. Why

17:10

you get them sucked on? No because I

17:12

get the hair. There's hair all around them.

17:14

What? Okay. Mine is cleanip. It

17:16

looks like if you lick the lollipop and

17:18

then drop it at a hair salon. Oh like.

17:23

Or you keep that or me. I was

17:25

about to say golly. Shot

17:27

fired. Local. No if you lick the lollipop threw it in

17:29

a pile of hair. That's my nipple. Dude yeah your pink

17:31

lollipop. Your nipples are gross. They used to be literally see

17:33

through. I feel like they shift. I feel like they don't

17:36

move. I feel like it's a gear shift. No. They don't

17:38

move. It's like four wheel drive. If I woke up one

17:40

day and they're just like off balance the next day they're

17:42

in there. I would go to the doctor. What would you

17:44

do first thing in the morning? You wake up with a

17:46

third nipple. You can't go to the doctor. What do you

17:48

do? I'd rub it to see if it has sensory problems.

17:50

But then what if it did. If I

17:52

could actually feel it. It would have made you feel real good. I'd

17:54

keep it. I wouldn't tell anybody. What about

17:56

a pool? A pool. You get in a pool. What

17:58

would you do? I have to wear a t-shirt. T-shirt Sam going through

18:01

midlife crisis you're In

18:03

the pool be like hell. I just don't and I could

18:05

literally go underwater back Give

18:08

a little bit when you have your kid, and you got to get this

18:10

skin-to-skin contact I don't have to do that is that a law just

18:13

I think that's right isn't it I might be it

18:15

might be a custom, but if there's no law okay

18:17

am I getting handcuffed for it Are you gonna have

18:19

cologne on yeah, I'm spray right on

18:21

that nipple I'm saying whenever you can I

18:23

kid when you spray your cologne And you

18:25

know God they get all kinds of chemicals

18:27

to be allergic how many cause problems? I

18:30

know that's what I'm saying so you can go skin-to-skin No,

18:33

yeah, I just not gonna work alone or

18:35

deodorant. I'll just be a stinky onion dad I'll

18:38

just be I'll literally don't think I've been flipping

18:40

burgers my whole life how how Soon

18:42

until whenever you have your first kid can I hold them

18:44

without you looking at me this up to me? Oh

18:47

without looking at you they gotta

18:49

be sick They

18:51

kind of walk on their own again. They literally have to be

18:53

able to call my No

18:55

without like they're staying the night

18:58

with you or just in the same room But I can

19:00

like look away and make a call your I'm in your

19:02

guest room You're in my guest room. I'd say

19:04

they gotta be at least Bro, I trust

19:06

you. I trust you you wouldn't do anything. I'd say Three

19:10

months yeah, it's a

19:12

long time But the first month and a half

19:14

like you're not really supposed to some parents don't

19:16

let anybody see their baby Like let them come

19:18

come to life get the system whatnot. It's

19:20

all to live in hell I'd give it to you day

19:22

of You need to put some

19:24

out of vending machines I'm like okay as long as

19:27

I can't hold your kid I'm not giving it anything

19:29

I'm not giving a gift food water nothing you can

19:31

hold my iron just told I'm just saying but you

19:33

know You obviously have to go through your higher up

19:35

so unless you're higher up says so I'm just saying

19:37

hey mama mama chooses mama Bear I'm telling her but

19:40

I think live will be that type of you know

19:42

yes You know not that you'll be like my mom not

19:44

the month and a half of don't touch them a

19:46

couple weeks for sure But like month and a half that's

19:48

that's six weeks and no one can touch them This

19:51

is hell right This is what I think

19:53

I'm gonna be as a dad. I feel like I'll

19:55

be very protected so I have a little girl. Oh God Have

19:59

a little girl Girl, I don't think

20:01

I'll ever allow anybody to kiss my kid. I'm

20:04

kissing your kid. You're not kissing my kid. Yeah, no you

20:06

can't. You can't physically stop me. I will kiss you. I

20:08

will hurt you. I will kiss your kid. Why you wanna

20:10

kiss my kid so bad? Because that'll be my niece or

20:12

nephew. So I'll kiss him. Or her. No,

20:15

it's not. Yeah, it is. I'll let it go. Hey.

20:18

I'll be like, right there. Now you're in a full mouth. What if

20:20

I'm kissing your kid? Don't worry about it. My

20:24

contact's about to fall out. What the hell was that? My

20:26

contact's about to fall out. But I've also been

20:28

practicing winking with

20:31

both eyes. I should never

20:33

see your whole mandible on your

20:35

wink. I should never see your

20:37

entire G-7 practicing winking. A

20:41

wink is supposed to be just, no, wink with both eyes. That's

20:43

a blink, Dom. No, but that's just shutting your eyes.

20:47

Why does it wink with both eyes? No,

20:49

but separated. Separatedly. What?

20:52

Separatedly. That's that coffee and monster

20:54

shit. Blink with both eyes. Separate.

20:56

Separate. Separatedly.

20:59

Separate. Separated. Separately.

21:01

Separated. Separated. Separated.

21:04

Separated. Now you're choosing to be different. You know

21:06

the word is separately. One.

21:10

Mm-hmm. Wow, you're talented. You literally look

21:12

like you're having an, I can't even wanna say it and

21:14

be insensitive. That's not good. No, I

21:16

know. Stop it. Oh,

21:19

speaking of, you said my ribcage is disgusting. You

21:22

didn't say it was disgusting. I didn't say it was disgusting. No, you

21:24

said it frightens me or it concerns me. You

21:27

told me this in person. You said, Peyton, I feel like if

21:29

I were to lift up your shirt right now, it would be

21:31

no skin, no organs, just a skeleton with cobwebs and spiders hanging

21:33

off of it. It would be a little dusty. I said that.

21:35

Yeah, he said it to me in the gym and I was

21:37

trying to better myself. I said that. He did to my eyes.

21:41

I said that straight to you. Don't wink at

21:43

me. No, it definitely, if you pulled up, it'd

21:45

be like a small action scene in there. It's

21:47

like skeleton fighting stuff. You can go, ugh, they

21:49

all just disappeared. You had skin everywhere, but just

21:51

your ribs, just bones. But I found out that

21:55

your rib cage is not just in

21:57

the front this week. I genuinely didn't know that. you

22:01

didn't as opposed to I

22:03

thought the would would it actually rib cage wraps

22:05

around I didn't know that now I do that

22:07

makes more sense and I said

22:09

genuinely I didn't know I feel like that's common that people don't know

22:11

that cuz any time you hear somebody I broke my rib what are

22:14

they holding they're right here I

22:16

their side no one's ever been like I broke my

22:18

rib okay probably

22:20

wouldn't feel good on the rib

22:22

going like that the

22:25

ribs wrap I'm not arguing with you

22:27

think your back was jello you just

22:29

thought your back I got a water

22:31

bed hey I'm not an anatomist I

22:33

don't know no one's an anatomist that's

22:35

not a job you you thought

22:37

that there wasn't ribs in the back I'm sorry

22:40

let me be genuine I genuinely never thought about

22:42

my ribs but when I did I thought they

22:44

were just in the front and I

22:46

don't feel like that's crazy I

22:48

just a lack of knowledge I was ignorant and I'm

22:50

fine admitting that so

22:52

okay my question is when have you ever I got

22:55

a rib cage tattoo where would you guess

22:57

that was that somebody said I got a rib cage tattoo right

23:00

here no no that's front that

23:02

is front holy shit you just went right here

23:04

that's just the fruit of your body you're gonna

23:06

piss you off you're already pissing you thought our

23:08

backs were water bullets I didn't think anything I

23:11

didn't think anything don't put words into my goddamn

23:13

gullet that means that means if someone hits you

23:15

once in the back just punched in the back

23:17

yeah they're in they're striking vital organ I did

23:20

I didn't I didn't think about

23:22

it I genuinely didn't think about

23:24

it okay I can give you a pass from not thinking about

23:26

it but how would you draw a rib cage if you always

23:28

others in the front I've never drawn a

23:30

3d person before I dropped steaks dog who am

23:32

I put you're in journalism and you never made

23:34

a sketch of a body you

23:38

never made a sketch you never what you

23:40

never went through an art face I don't know if you

23:42

know you wore a tail you made a yearbook to never

23:44

you never drew a picture no

23:46

listen it does tape wallets and silly bits

23:49

you never drew a picture that's where you're

23:51

trying to tell me have that's where the

23:53

line I have all I have not a

23:55

3d model dumbass Jim

23:57

Austen so in your In

24:00

your beautiful little mind, your precious little mind. Ribs

24:03

are just like this. Ribs

24:05

are like five little ke- It's like the front

24:07

of a rake. Isn't the

24:09

human body beautiful? It's very

24:11

complex. Isn't it so amazing? It is. Those

24:14

little wires right here are just holding up me. It's not

24:16

a wire. I'm okay. I'm

24:18

tired of people being so specific about me.

24:20

I'm just trying to talk.

24:23

I'm just trying to talk. And

24:25

I'm tired of people picking each freaking word. They're taking what

24:27

I'm saying and not what I'm thinking. I'm

24:30

tired of that. I'm tired of it. I

24:32

can't even be myself anymore. It

24:36

took you four fucking seconds. Four

24:38

fucking seconds. That's what you just

24:41

gave. I'm far more equilibrium.

24:45

How much money for you to remain with your hat off? What

24:47

did I just- How much money for you to do the

24:49

re- How

24:51

much money for you to do the remainder of the episode with your hat off?

24:54

How much for the remainder of the pair? Free, dad. Let

24:58

me see the back of your knees. There's

25:01

holes in your underwear. God

25:03

damn it. Okay,

25:07

birthday idea. Draws.

25:10

Draws. Oh my god we're

25:12

wearing the same pants. We are wearing

25:15

the same pants. They were wearing new balances.

25:17

God damn it. We don't need a little

25:19

dumb. You got the shirt the same place I got

25:21

the shirt. Oh my god. We're walking mannequins. What

25:25

was that? What was that? I'm not gonna lie. This

25:27

drink might be worse than the forget drink. I

25:30

was just- I

25:35

can hear you scratch your own face. Think-

25:38

I want you to think about that. You're

25:40

crying. You're

25:44

breathing so loud. Bro,

25:47

relax. Alright, calm

25:49

down. I'm fine.

25:52

I'm fine. Your

25:56

eyes too close. What

26:00

was that? All

26:02

the more catches are broken. I

26:06

broke my couch. No! Oh

26:08

man, this studio is run

26:10

down. You need a break! You

26:12

need a break! Talk!

26:17

I can see you thinking. I can

26:19

see your thoughts. You look like this.

26:24

You're like a gopher, like a groundhog. Wait.

26:29

Wait, didn't groundhog dare already pass? Don't

26:31

you wish your girlfriend was hot

26:33

like Kevin? Don't you

26:35

wish your girlfriend was a freak

26:37

like Kevin? Do

26:41

an ad break. Oh,

26:46

let's see. There they go. Those ribs. So

26:49

you shaved the back but not the front? I did shave mine.

26:51

Oh, you did? You want to see

26:53

a little girl in your mouth? Don't go in

26:55

your mouth. If you pulled your

26:58

pants out and there was a spotless

27:00

beaver, I would be

27:02

absolutely appalled and we would

27:04

no longer be friends. If

27:07

you showed me your crotch and

27:09

I could land an airplane on it. If

27:12

I showed you my monkey, you could be a... If it was

27:14

a spotless monkey, you

27:16

would be out of commission. You would have

27:18

to find a new coat. If

27:22

that... I'm fucking

27:24

crying. Bro,

27:39

Ryan, look at him. Look at you. That's

27:47

what I'm saying. You don't look real. You

27:54

don't look like you're sorry about the throw up. What

28:00

dogs do they're gonna throw up they go they

28:03

start licking and shit they can feel the

28:05

acid reflux I would write the recall when

28:07

he said hey, I think about the tool

28:09

up my mouth is slight salivating You

28:12

are so soaking wet You're

28:15

soaking wet stop itching

28:17

your face You're

28:20

touching squid couch Vegemite carpet

28:23

nasty ribs Holy

28:26

what's a yellow? We

28:30

got leaves in space Carbon

28:32

peroxide Hey, you're never allowed

28:35

to do that again. You are never ever

28:37

allowed to get that combination You

28:40

get right. You give me a cucumber gator

28:43

My balloon not is oh bro. You look like you

28:45

just got in trouble by your mom And

28:47

the fact that we have that We have that We

28:51

have that My

28:54

balloon not is oh bro. You look like you just

28:56

got in trouble by your mom And

28:59

the fact that we have those in our fridge Disappoint

29:01

drink this that'd be you oh God,

29:04

there's spit in the bottle. No, there's not

29:06

no there's no looks like it Dog

29:10

you look like you just got in trouble

29:12

like you're 11, and you just got like

29:14

grounded You look

29:16

so young and just anxious

29:19

no I

29:28

Didn't bidet for people for poop This

29:33

is We've gone off the

29:35

rail. This is beyond oh no. No you you're

29:37

not even in a train You're

29:40

in a B-22 Exclusive

29:42

stealth jet you know what I you know what it

29:44

pisses me off when people ask me if I want

29:46

to get absolutely smell that The

29:49

entire room just turned into a salon at the whole

29:51

room is a spot It's better than the carbon

29:53

peroxide coming through the ceiling Squid

29:56

guts everywhere. That's your couch But

30:00

you should know podcast. This

30:03

episode is brought to you by FRED THE

30:05

DRAFKINGS! Looking for a super offer for Super

30:07

Bowl 58? Yes. DraftKings Sportsbook

30:10

has you covered. New

30:12

customers can bet on the big game

30:14

and turn $5 into $200 instantly in

30:16

bonus bets. I

30:20

am so excited for Super Bowl Sunday. Cam,

30:22

who you got? Who you got? I'm

30:25

going to go Chiefs. I'm going to go Chiefs

30:27

too. Liners are tough though. I know, but I

30:29

like the odds. I like the

30:31

odds. It's looking good on DraftKings. It is.

30:33

With the San Francisco 49ers being minus 125 favorites.

30:37

Oof. If we really stick with

30:39

the Chiefs, put a little breach down on it. I'm

30:41

telling you, we can flip, have a little come up.

30:44

Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and

30:46

use code YSK. New customers can

30:48

bet $5 to get

30:51

$200 instantly in bonus bets only

30:53

on DraftKings Sportsbook. An official sports

30:55

betting partner of Super Bowl 58

30:58

with code YSK. The

31:00

crown is yours.

31:03

Now on to the rest of the

31:05

episode. We

31:10

went to Colorado this weekend. We did. We went

31:12

to Breckenridge, Colorado. How was it? It was fun

31:14

as hell. The vlog is out

31:16

now on Patreon. Go to

31:18

the description. Whole vlog is out there. It

31:20

was hell of fun. One word to describe

31:22

Breckenridge. Elevation. Oh my god. Headache. Dude. Blood

31:25

in nose. That was three words. Every

31:27

morning I woke up a sneeze, blue snot. There's

31:30

a little crusty blood. Woke up too much. Woke

31:32

up with headaches. Dude. Sword throw. Going from like, what

31:34

are we, like 400 feet above sea

31:37

level now to 11,000. It

31:39

is like, it is actually, that was our first time. It

31:41

was actually different. Beautiful out there. Beautiful. Gorgeous. It was fun

31:43

as hell too. You all see on the vlog. There's a

31:45

ton of shit to happen. I hate to break tune on the

31:47

stays on the podcast. I don't plan on going back unless

31:50

it's for a show. Bro. I don't. Come on. No. Unless

31:52

we don't say it about me. We got insulated

31:54

pants. We got snow stuff, boots. I can go

31:56

every year. Yeah. It gets cold in Texas. I

32:00

just don't have that. It

32:02

wasn't for me. You want to know why? Because

32:05

when we went to Colorado this weekend, I

32:07

had the worst trip of all time. I

32:10

got trapped in a mountain. Bro,

32:13

I was stranded in a mountain. Dude,

32:15

I have to tell this story. Literally, you were. It

32:18

started from the day that I landed.

32:20

So I landed in Denver. The

32:23

cabin we were staying at was at the top

32:25

of a mountain in Breckenridge, which is two hours

32:27

away. So I land

32:29

at like 10 PM. It's dark outside.

32:31

It's snow and it's cold. I don't like that.

32:33

I'm not used to it. What time were you

32:35

supposed to land? Dude, I was supposed to land at

32:37

like seven. You got like three delays? I was supposed

32:39

to land at seven. When I got onto the plane,

32:42

the pilot goes over the intercom and is like, hey, we're

32:45

going to have a delay. They're going to do maintenance on

32:47

the plane. We don't know what's going on, but we're going

32:49

to figure it out. Don't say that. Tell

32:51

me what's going on before you say

32:53

we have maintenance coming on. Oh my god.

32:55

I literally see for literally an hour and

32:57

a half, maintenance people coming on and off

32:59

the plane, on and off the plane. I'm

33:02

like, I don't want to be on this flight. I

33:04

don't want to be here anymore. Nope. I

33:06

finally land in Denver. I have to take

33:08

a two hour drive to Breckenridge, Colorado at

33:11

the top of a mountain. Pitch

33:13

black. Pitch black. So

33:15

by the so I find an Uber, it's like $400 to

33:17

get out there. I find an

33:19

Uber. I make it to Breckenridge, Colorado. Now

33:21

it's the time to drive up a mountain

33:23

in Breckenridge to get to the cabin. My

33:26

Uber is in a regular Cadillac, not

33:29

like a big SUV Cadillac, like a

33:31

little mom Cadillac. It's

33:34

pitch black outside. He's driving 12 miles

33:36

per hour because we're going up the

33:38

top of the mountain, and it's snowing

33:40

outside. And it's 1 AM. It

33:43

is dangerous out there. I can't see anything. There's

33:45

no street lights. There's no nothing. I can see

33:48

little glowing eyes in the distance. That's all I

33:50

know. That's all I see. A pack of hine.

33:52

Dude, that's it. Bears, whatever's out there. So

33:55

we get, I kid you not, like two miles from

33:57

the cabin. We've been going up this mountain for a

33:59

little bit. I'm getting dizzy, my ears are popping,

34:01

I'm freezing, and it is dark outside. We

34:04

can do this part of the mountain where the

34:06

map starts to go a little haywire. We're losing

34:08

service. There's no signal. My Uber driver

34:10

doesn't know where to go. We

34:14

can follow the trail up to the mountain where you think

34:16

we're supposed to go, or there's

34:19

like this little deviation path, but it's pitch

34:21

black. You can't see where this little deviation

34:23

patch is, but it seems like if we

34:25

take this deviation pass, we can just

34:27

skip half the mountain and go up to

34:29

the cabin at the top of the mountain. If

34:31

it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

34:33

So my Uber driver stops the car and he goes,

34:36

sorry, I can't figure out where I'm going. He said,

34:38

I think I'm supposed to turn here. We

34:40

start to go on a decline. Now

34:42

I'm like, hold on. We

34:44

were just going up for about 45 minutes. Why are we starting to

34:46

go down? He's going down

34:49

the middle of the mountain where there's no roads,

34:52

like the valley. We are on fresh snow.

34:54

Now I'm a dumbass, but I

34:56

know something. This Cadillac is not made

34:58

to go through fresh snow two feet

35:01

at one AM on a May.

35:04

We started to drive literally a minute

35:06

into driving through that valley in the middle where there's

35:08

no road, just fresh snow and ice. The

35:13

Cadillac is stuck. I'm

35:16

like, there's no way. There's

35:19

no way that this is happening. I'm

35:21

trapped in the middle of the mountain.

35:23

It is literally negative nine degrees outside

35:25

in one AM pitch black. I see

35:27

glow and eyes fast

35:30

forward. We're shoveling snow out the bottom

35:32

of his car for 35 minutes. Try

35:36

pushing his Cadillac. I'm a weak boy. I can't

35:38

push a move like a one ton vehicle. I

35:40

can't do that. I'm pushing it. We can't do

35:42

it. I try to call cam cams already at

35:45

the cabin. They got, he got there before me.

35:47

I can't call cam. There's no

35:49

service by the grace of God. I get one signal. I

35:51

got one chance to get one call. I call cam.

35:53

I said, cam, I'm in the middle of the mountain. Help

35:55

me. I'm gonna drive my location. Come get

35:58

him. I'm stuck. The

36:00

ubinar just to run out of gas he's like I

36:02

have to keep gas in my car. I got to turn it off He

36:05

turns off his car It

36:08

is freezing outside negative night pitch black and

36:11

you're shoveling snow and I'm shoveling snow with Texas

36:13

clothes on I didn't change it on my snow

36:15

gear yet. That was true Cam comes

36:17

rescues me we go to the top of the

36:19

mountain boom fast forward. We enjoy our time in

36:21

Breckenridge, Colorado I'm having headaches the whole

36:23

time about to have a nosebleed sore throat I don't

36:25

like it my ears are popping everywhere. I go still

36:27

glowing on three days later. It's time to leave Breckenridge

36:30

God cam is driving from

36:33

Colorado back to Texas I'm

36:35

flying cause I don't like car rides So I'll have

36:37

to find a way to get to

36:39

the airport by myself Should

36:42

be simple the day before I leave I schedule an

36:44

uber pick me up at 8 a.m. Take

36:46

me two hours to Denver I can go home

36:49

to Texas genius. I wake up the next morning.

36:51

I Check my uber

36:53

uber still scheduled to pick you up Hayden, Hayden

36:57

Uber still scheduled to pick you up Hayden all

36:59

is good. I'm packing my bags everything's good. I'm ready to go

37:01

back home to Texas Five

37:03

minutes five minutes before that uber supposed

37:06

to pick me up. I get a

37:08

notification from the uber app Hey,

37:10

you're right. It's canceled dog. Good luck getting to

37:12

the airport What

37:16

do you mean I spend the

37:18

next 30 to 40 minutes trying

37:20

to schedule ubers lifts Anything

37:22

all canceling. They don't come all the way out to Breckenridge They

37:24

don't want to drive in that snow to get stuck in it

37:26

like I did on the first time there We

37:30

start to go into panic mode me cam and all our

37:32

friends We're like we're in the middle

37:34

of nowhere. We're at the top of the mountain the

37:36

closest city The closest town

37:39

is like 15 minutes out My

37:42

friends say hey We will drive you to

37:44

that town 15 minutes out and we'll try

37:46

to help you and see if their ubers

37:48

can pick you up out There we drive

37:50

15 minutes out. We're scheduling ubers uber still

37:53

won't go out there We parked in front

37:55

of like this little market right little market

37:57

looks like a little mom-and-pop market There's very

37:59

no had like saloon doors

38:01

saloon doors kick in dude

38:03

exactly but there's no cars on the street like a

38:05

deathless town like pretty sure saw tumbleweed go across it

38:07

look like it like a Tom and Jerry movies no

38:09

we tumbleweed I'll go

38:11

into the I go into the market right everybody

38:15

in there knows everybody in there

38:17

yeah it's only four people James

38:19

is that you exactly everybody's walking in and out

38:21

Peter what's going on how's the kids I'll be

38:23

tomorrow Shelley yeah it's they know each other I

38:26

tell the clerks behind the counter go hey excuse

38:28

me I am stranded there's no Ubers that come

38:30

out here I need to go to the airport

38:32

I'm gonna miss my flight I said $1,300 on

38:34

this flight there's an expensive flight I

38:37

need to go to the airport she

38:39

goes oh honey you're

38:42

mistaken ain't no Ubers coming out here

38:44

I said oh no I get that

38:46

now yeah help me get

38:48

to Denver she

38:50

goes they're the sweetest ladies ever because

38:52

they start to converse with themselves they start to talk

38:55

about city folk in the area they're like John's

38:57

got that car but no he just got that

38:59

tire replaced he's got to drop his kids off

39:02

a soccer practice at nine a guy comes next

39:04

to me and he goes ah I'll take you

39:06

to the airport but I got three German shepherds

39:08

in the bag they won't buy chip but they'll

39:10

get in your face I said what and

39:13

then he goes you got a cigarette I

39:15

said what dog what are you talking about

39:18

I'm stranded in the middle of Colorado

39:20

right now this

39:23

guy has a half of a

39:25

canine unit in his backseat talk about you didn't

39:27

you got a six I'm walking in and out

39:29

I'm trying to like wave down the one or

39:31

two cars that come every ten minutes asking if

39:33

they can drive me to Denver they're every yes

39:35

they know we're not doing it sorry I got

39:37

to go up to the slopes I

39:39

go back into the mart the lady behind the

39:42

counter tells me hey there's one driver in

39:44

this town that is here for that exact

39:46

reason she handles a lot of people because

39:48

they don't know Ubers come out here I

39:51

go okay call her give

39:54

me her number I take I write her

39:56

number down on a piece of paper I go outside to

39:58

call her thank guy with the

40:00

three German shepherds comes up next to me

40:02

and he goes, hey, excuse me, ma'am. Do

40:05

you have a cigarette? I said, bro, I

40:07

just talked to you. Like, dog, I don't

40:09

smoke. I was like, stop asking me. I

40:12

called the lady. She's like, yeah, uh, I

40:14

can pick you up in a town that's 15 minutes

40:17

out the other way. I could pick you up from

40:19

there in about 45 minutes. And I

40:21

say, you got my option, but I'm

40:23

gonna miss my $1,300. We all go to this town.

40:28

Literally the middle of nowhere, nowhere. There

40:31

isn't nothing out there, literally nothing, but

40:33

one gas station. There was the oldest

40:35

man I've ever seen in my life

40:37

at this gas station. He

40:39

looks like one of the founding fathers of

40:41

that settlement. Bro. And so I went in

40:43

there because I needed water because I was panicking outside of

40:46

the panic tech and I was anxious. You were, I kid

40:48

you not that old man comes into the gas station while

40:50

I'm checking out. Excuse us, sir. Do you have a cigarette?

40:53

What is with cigarettes in this town? I don't

40:55

have cigarettes. I don't want to smoke. I

40:57

don't smoke. Leave me alone. The

41:02

lady that's supposed to be my one driver calls.

41:04

She goes, Hey, little problem. I'm gonna be

41:06

about five minutes past

41:09

my time. Fast forward. She was

41:11

like 30 minutes late. She was quadruple late.

41:13

She, she comes around. She picks me up

41:15

from the gas station. Her car looks like

41:17

they had a mud fight in it, but

41:19

I can't complain. It was a,

41:22

I was like a Ram 1500. There

41:24

was dog hair everywhere. I'm allergic to cats and

41:26

felines. I was starting to sneeze. We

41:28

were driving through the mountain trying to get to Denver. She

41:30

was pushing it too because she knew I had to make

41:33

the flight. It was $400. She

41:35

could charge me $400 to get her there, to get

41:37

me there, but I appreciate it. She

41:39

starts cussing out every driver and I was like,

41:41

this is my last time going

41:43

to Colorado. We finally

41:46

made it. I made the flight and I made it home,

41:48

but that was my Colorado trip from hell. It was, it

41:51

was horrible to witness. Honestly, firsthand. Like it literally

41:53

was like a movie script. Do I look like

41:55

I have cigarettes? Everyone

41:58

thinks you're just sick guys. Yeah. No,

42:00

but that pit dude the thing that legit

42:02

made me think in the middle I was

42:04

like this is a movie you're gonna write

42:06

someone's number down crumble the piece of paper

42:08

put it in your pocket We had to

42:10

go 15 more minutes down there by the

42:12

way our van fit seven people We had

42:14

eight human beings in it with

42:16

eight suitcases So imagine that you were getting choked

42:18

by your own suitcase It was literally like Ryan

42:20

told the joke in the back But half of

42:22

you half of you was too anxious the last

42:24

time the other half was getting choked so you

42:26

were like They're

42:29

trying to lab you like dude. Yeah,

42:31

it was oh man It was

42:33

it was it was definitely a trip from out

42:35

the owner of that saloon You ain't met a

42:37

mountain girl yet. Oh my god. I said Good

42:41

riddance we're gonna talk about more of

42:43

the Colorado trip on patreon like give the more deep dive

42:45

stories and love right It was it was fun. Don't let

42:47

him Okay,

42:50

it was fun brothers hell for him, but

42:53

when it wasn't hell he enjoyed himself, too

42:55

It was a great time out just

42:57

not the you know beginning and import. Yeah,

43:00

the middle was great I will talk about it more on

43:02

patreon This

43:06

episode is a brought to you by

43:08

our good friends at Harry's life can

43:10

be absolutely ridiculous, but you know It's

43:12

not funny. No getting ripped off. I

43:14

hate that. You know who agrees with

43:17

that Harry's our friends at Harry I

43:19

bet they saw customers getting screwed over

43:21

by Questionable overpriced shaving products and decided

43:23

to do something better instead of charging

43:25

the same stupid high prices Harry's found

43:27

their own way to make beautifully designed

43:29

razors for a fraction of the price

43:31

of the other big brands You already

43:33

know Harry's has the highest highest of

43:35

qualities of razors so good, but I look

43:37

for the little details I put Harry's

43:40

in my bathroom, and it just blends in

43:42

well the packaging everything that they sent over

43:44

it is beautiful It fits into a bathroom

43:46

perfectly doesn't stand out like oh, I said

43:48

in there It just blends in perfectly packaging

43:51

exquisite It's the little details that Harry's thinks

43:53

of that I appreciate German engineer blades made

43:55

in their own Factory that

43:57

stay sharp longer Harry's has custom

44:00

delivery options for scheduled refills as low as

44:02

$2. Half

44:04

of what you'd be paying from other big

44:06

brands. So get a 5 blade razor weighted

44:09

handle, foaming shave gel and travel cover for

44:11

just $3. $3

44:14

at harrys.com/YSK. Harrys has the

44:17

highest customer satisfaction in the

44:19

shaving industry. The highest. With

44:22

a no risk trial. Don't like your shave? No

44:24

worries. It's on Harrys. Convenient subscription

44:26

options that you can cancel at any

44:28

time. Getting ripped off isn't funny. Switch

44:31

to Harrys. Get started with a $13 trial

44:33

set for just $3 at

44:36

harrys.com/YSK. That's

44:38

harrys.com/YSK for our $3

44:40

trial set. Now

44:43

on to the rest of the episode. The

44:46

Usaino Podcast. We

44:48

FaceTimed last night. Me

44:50

and you. We did. And I showed you something.

44:53

You did? You can tell them what I showed you.

44:55

I don't want to. You're gonna say

44:57

that. I'm not gonna say it. So Cam FaceTimed

44:59

me at midnight. And I,

45:01

you did FaceTime me. Was it not? The

45:03

way you set this up. FaceTimed me at midnight. What

45:06

time was it? Why did I FaceTime you though? I

45:08

don't know. I don't remember. You FaceTimed

45:10

me all the time. Oh good. What were you

45:12

FaceTiming me for? To tell you

45:14

about the gym. Oh. Oh yeah. The

45:17

only reason you want me around. So you can feel

45:19

like the big man in the gym. Now that

45:21

Romeo's gone. Hey Romeo. How's that desolate lonely ass

45:23

gym you're at now without Cam? I can tell

45:25

you my experience is fun with him. I

45:28

called you for the gym and what'd

45:30

you show me? Volunterred. Volunterred

45:32

it. Wasn't asked for. Wasn't requested.

45:35

Wasn't demanded. What'd you show? What's on my

45:37

bed? What else did I show you? Oh

45:39

that's not it. That is absurd though. But

45:41

you also showed cheek. Oh I did show you my butt. Yeah.

45:43

I did that all the time. But I don't ask

45:45

for that. Your bed though. Your sleeping attire. Most people

45:48

have like a gun. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not

45:50

gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm

45:52

not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not

45:54

gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. You people have

45:56

like a glass of milk and pajamas. You

45:59

had an arsenal. You had you had

46:01

the most outstanding bed items I've ever

46:03

seen no yeah I that's

46:05

what that face time is gonna realize I have

46:07

a problem I guarantee for a billion dollars No

46:09

one could type out No one could type out

46:11

the exact combination of items that was in your

46:13

bed right now before I say it pause the

46:15

video and Comment what you guess is

46:18

in my bed. It's you're wrong. Okay.

46:20

You're wrong. This was in my bed

46:22

go down the woods But

46:26

it was me This

46:29

is my phone my phone charger mm-hmm my

46:32

glasses mm-hmm three

46:34

water bottles mm-hmm a Beanie

46:37

mm-hmm a Kitchen

46:41

yeah in a pocket knife The

46:45

pocket knife was open the plate was out

46:47

and exposed okay, okay? What else what else

46:49

was there? I don't know what else was

46:51

there. What was was there? I can't say

46:53

the one thing here. What you

46:55

can't say that oh Oh,

46:58

yeah, that was open that was open and

47:00

gone who's opening on? It

47:03

was opening on Why?

47:06

What else was there? What it was tell me cute means? I

47:08

don't know I can't say that one what else?

47:12

Well, this is there. There's a food item. I

47:14

food if I put you not a food

47:16

in your bed What was I truly don't remember it's like a

47:18

bag of something like a bag of chips or the oh yeah

47:21

No, I'd like I'd like I don't

47:24

remember though. It's like you. It's like

47:26

you camped in your bed though Like

47:28

can I explain myself you had protection

47:30

you had food you had water you

47:32

had entertainment you had bedding It's literally

47:34

like you went camp in your own

47:36

home. Okay on your bed. I explained

47:38

myself. I've been very paranoid recently very

47:41

paranoid reason why it Hurting

47:44

me like people hurting me like I think people

47:46

are after me now I That's

47:49

why in my bed. I have a pocket knife. That's

47:51

open a kitchen knife of beanie three

47:53

water bottles food snacks rations Okay

47:55

phone charger and the placement of my not

47:57

in my knives or my bed is very

48:00

smart you just y'all didn't get the accurate one

48:02

because I just placed those over cuz I almost

48:04

stabbed myself so on my left side I have

48:08

my big knife my kitchen knife because

48:11

if somebody breaks in my door right and they come

48:13

after me I'll be like please don't don't don't it's

48:15

under the cover so I could just go right

48:19

there but then if that doesn't work that one's mobile

48:21

the pocket knife to my rights mobile I

48:24

put that in my drawers put in my panties

48:26

and I'll be like all right right there so

48:28

that's that's that's my reasoning for

48:30

that right and oh and

48:32

then last night in my bed right after you called

48:35

me I googled how

48:37

much is it to have 24 7 security

48:39

outside your house because I have

48:41

a security guard at my house that comes

48:43

like frequently I'm not gonna tell you schedule

48:46

but he comes sometimes but

48:50

I looked up how much is it have 24 7 security

48:53

and hiring what

48:55

no you yeah it's cheap it's

48:57

even I thought you don't have

49:00

villains after you don't buy my

49:02

house is so big like

49:05

that like it's just like I'm not used to

49:08

I've lived in 200 square foot apartment put up

49:10

a doggy gate that's the thing that you say

49:12

are you stupid that's not you you have no

49:14

survival instinct that's why every survival movie there's some

49:16

sort of trap for booby trap late oh

49:19

a doggy door is a booby

49:21

trap your ears claim to be

49:23

good you know oh

49:27

I didn't know that you were a stupid

49:29

idiot guess

49:31

what there's a doggy door there's a doggy door on

49:33

the ground guess what they do not

49:37

that you

49:41

strategically buy it a tall one that no one can just

49:43

leap over they have to open

49:45

it you hear the click you are yourself okay

49:47

show me a six foot me a six foot

49:49

doggy door guarantee if you gave me 20 seconds

49:51

I could find one with the clicker the big

49:54

red dog dumbass probably you put that you lay

49:56

a trap put some crinkle paper I have protection

49:58

in my home yeah Nice under

50:00

a pillow one of the things so you know

50:02

my staircase right? Yeah, I was thinking about getting

50:04

a great choke point Yeah, I know I've we've

50:06

already gone through exactly my security is But

50:10

I'm thinking to get getting big metal gates

50:12

put right there. You know what I mean? Like

50:15

a big metal like door do you know how in some homes

50:17

like in LA? They have like the the metal door and then

50:20

you the real door. I'm thinking about getting that in front of

50:22

my staircase So

50:24

I'm so paranoid bro cheap

50:26

doggy door bad Bank

50:29

vault security on

50:31

third floor. Yeah good. No first

50:33

floor You think I might

50:35

get over there. They can't even get up to the

50:38

stairs. Oh first floor Okay, I thought you said on

50:40

your staircase like right? No no no like that's psychotic

50:42

No, hey, and maybe if you turn the light off

50:44

and turn the TV off when you went to bed

50:47

Wouldn't hear things no, that's what

50:49

I do hear things whenever everything's silent at

50:51

dark exactly That's what my voices are going

50:53

if you hear something something's there We

50:57

we left for a three-day

50:59

trip and you chose to

51:01

leave your TV on When

51:08

I get back I want to hear things I don't

51:10

want to be quiet and cold ludicrous behavior why Absolutely

51:13

ludicrous. You don't know what it's like to

51:15

be alone You'll get it.

51:18

You've never been alone in your life That's

51:20

not true when you visit your

51:22

parents, huh you with the college, huh?

51:25

You lose those roommates Uh-huh, you left college you

51:27

had a wife Now

51:29

you have a wife and a dog. Uh-huh. When have

51:31

you been alone? Somewhere in between that

51:33

second and third you've lived alone somewhere between

51:35

that second and third chapter I was very very

51:37

sad and I don't give a shit. It

51:39

was lonely up here. That doesn't matter physical No,

51:41

no, I'm talking about like safety. I didn't

51:43

have people to talk to Like

51:46

you had people talk to I don't have people to talk to

51:48

you you can talk to me anytime you want I'd stop the

51:50

same why because it's over a phone. You're

51:52

not there with me You're not there to hold my hand, but when

51:54

I asked to come stay the night for you never asked me to

51:57

stay the night Holy shit, you've asked

51:59

me to stay the night you asked

52:01

me to say the night when you guys gonna say

52:03

the night I don't ask to

52:05

come over and I don't ask to

52:07

say tonight we did you ever first off two

52:09

nights ago I asked you to come over to

52:11

my place that's not so you saw uh-uh you're

52:13

switching it when have you asked me to stay

52:15

the night oh name it I'm asking

52:17

you pull up a text hole so I pull it out of

52:19

it so I've never said anything whenever

52:22

we're doing trips no no no

52:24

I spit on you I'm so sorry no no no

52:26

no no when when when like a

52:29

month and a half ago whenever what whenever lives friends

52:31

were there and I said can I

52:33

say the night because you had to oh you don't

52:35

want to stay in the room with 18 girls oh

52:37

but oh little buddy oh little friend

52:40

oh small on a random Tuesday 15 seconds

52:42

ago you said it never happened because you're

52:44

not allowed to 50 what

52:48

oh 15 seconds ago 15 seconds

52:50

ago you said it never happened and I

52:52

immediately just gave you an immediate no I'm saying

52:54

oh no you know you don't mean I'm between

52:56

ever I change no you can't you know you're

52:58

being a dumbass

53:01

you're being a gaslighter you said it never

53:04

has been lighting me you've never asked me

53:06

to stay the night without preconceived things happening

53:08

if you said that okay okay with that

53:10

without preconceived things happening your wife having friends

53:12

over and she said when y'all planned for

53:14

it to go to be separate so you

53:16

got girls time and boy time just you

53:18

being my friend you ever asked me to

53:20

stay the night have I no

53:22

to go to a what does that mean

53:24

I'm still I'm not gonna be at your funeral you're

53:27

gonna be dead we leave

53:33

eight minutes from each other you never say the

53:35

night with me anymore now because we're close aren't

53:37

you stupid are

53:39

you stupid you've stayed in art you've stayed in my

53:42

new place yes I stayed in

53:44

that bed in the guest room and I was soft it was

53:46

like the one of the first weeks you moved in oh that's

53:48

cuz we were moving in oh my god

53:51

I have my places No,

54:00

no, no, no, no, no, you're stupid. No! Dude,

54:02

you're pissing me off. That was before you had your

54:04

place! Cam! We got our place a week before, so

54:06

you said it was worth moving in! Yes! Was

54:11

I not fully moved in when I slept

54:13

over there? No! Alright, bro. Alright, cool,

54:15

cool, cool. No! Okay, cool. You

54:18

mean to tell me you would move in and immediately say

54:20

somewhere else? I'm not the person

54:22

that has to deal with God about lying.

54:24

I'm telling the truth. Oh, but you too!

54:27

We all do! No, about lying. You do!

54:30

I don't lie! Dude,

54:32

you like to argue. That's the

54:34

thing. You get a little blood flow whenever you argue. Oh,

54:37

hello. Join the way. Why

54:41

would you move into your

54:43

new place and leave immediately?

54:45

Because I have nothing! I

54:48

have no body! What

54:54

are you actually doing? Okay, you know what I'm

54:56

gonna do? You know what my life mission is?

54:59

I have to log into Patreon. You know what

55:01

I'm gonna do? You know what? Patreon.

55:04

You know what I'm gonna do at the live shows after

55:06

this first match of tour? Second tour. We're

55:08

gonna have the best friend's speed date.

55:11

We're gonna have people in the crowd come up to the

55:13

stage and I'm going to interview them

55:16

to be my best friend. And once

55:19

I find that person, you are going

55:21

to regret not inviting me over

55:23

and not sleeping with me. Not

55:26

inviting you over? You

55:28

can't you f***ing up again, buddy! Three

55:32

Ls! I invite you over all the

55:34

time! You spend the night. You

55:37

don't invite me over to spend the night, I mean. My

55:42

couch was your second

55:44

most slept place in

55:46

the last calendar year. Your bed

55:48

was number one. My couch was number two. I

55:50

don't invite you to stay over? No, you don't!

55:53

I called you and said please come and get snowed in

55:55

with us! I don't like to snow in my tour LA!

56:00

You gotta pick your words more carefully. I am so

56:02

wet. My butthole is wet. Are

56:12

you hurt? Did you time out?

56:14

Did you mean some of those things? I meant everything I just

56:17

said! That was mean. I was mean? What

56:20

did I say was mean? You said mean things if you really meant

56:22

it. I meant everything I just said but I was defending myself. I

56:24

was saying how I feel. There you

56:26

go, gaslighting, victim blaming. That's not victim blaming. Victim blaming,

56:28

gaslighting. You upset me. That's

56:32

what you do. You upset me and then whenever I defend

56:34

myself you do that. You break down and you make me

56:36

feel like the victim. So

56:38

during our show you're gonna get

56:41

new friend applications? Yeah.

56:55

This episode is brought to you by Good Chop. Good Chop,

56:57

everyone wants to start off their new year on the right

56:59

foot. I do. It's a good one. And

57:01

hopefully you Bubba. You know I am. That

57:04

means eating well and making sure we have enough energy to

57:06

do everything we need to do. Okay tell me how. I

57:08

don't know about you. I don't plan on running to the

57:10

butcher every day when I want to get a fresh good

57:12

quality cut of meat. Oh no. Not

57:15

happening for me. No that's a lot.

57:17

That's why Good Chop is such a

57:19

life saver for me. Oh Good Chop

57:22

offers fully customizable boxes of high quality

57:24

meat and seafood delivered to

57:26

your door on your schedule.

57:28

The products are vacuum sealed.

57:30

That's tight. And frozen

57:32

at peak freshness so you can stock

57:34

your freezer and cook when you want

57:36

to. Good Chop is so advantageous

57:38

for many reasons. One, you know you're getting

57:41

amazing quality meat. Great meat. Two,

57:43

you don't gotta keep going to the grocery store every

57:45

night you want to cook something up. Nope.

57:47

Three, it tastes absolutely amazing.

57:50

Good Chop sources its meat

57:52

and seafood exclusively from American

57:55

farms and fisheries so you can

57:57

support local family farms and independent

57:59

ranchers. right here in the US.

58:02

It won't cost you a fortune either. Good

58:04

Chop's price per meal starts at just $3.74.

58:06

Go to goodshop.com/ysk120 and use the code YSK120

58:08

to get $120 off

58:19

across your first four

58:21

boxes. Oh my gosh.

58:23

That's code YSK120 at

58:26

goodshop.com/YSK120 for

58:28

$120 off goodshop.com/YSK120 code YSK120. Now hold on

58:30

to the rest of the episode. You

58:40

should know podcasts. I feel like people

58:43

are going to think we hate each other. I love you buddy. Oh

58:45

I love you too. I love you too. We took a break. We

58:47

went over to HR. We went to

58:49

you. Yeah we turned the corner and went to you.

58:51

Hugged it out. No, don't say that. Signed

58:54

a dating relationship for you.

58:57

A marriage clause? I thought we were supposed to. We're supposed

58:59

to tell HR that we're dating. I would love to get

59:01

married to you. Actually I was too late. Are you out

59:03

of the way? Hello. No, Kenneth too. Well, Lou will. Well.

59:06

Boom and now I'm stopping there like Lou

59:08

will. Six men like Cam. I

59:11

got two Cam ones with me and they Cam one. Don't

59:13

body roll and say Cam one. He like when I body

59:15

roll. It is fine. Alright.

59:19

Can't do that on this couch. That's alright. I broke

59:21

my couch today too. Okay. I don't know. Were you

59:23

about to say something? No. Okay. Now

59:25

have this would you rather? Okay. I don't know

59:27

what conjured it inside my head but I thought

59:30

of it. You know I think we're rather dangerous.

59:32

Okay. Here we go. Ready? I'm going to try to be nice to

59:34

you. I'll

59:37

try to say the same.

59:39

We're like an old married couple. We have

59:41

to. Lettuce! It's like in the office like

59:44

I'm speaking my truth. Alright.

59:47

Would you rather? Okay. Have

59:49

to run through a forest barefoot.

59:53

Fort like full blown fort

59:55

barefoot. Or get stung

59:57

by three bee stings on your back. while

1:00:00

you have a sunburn. Oh, well first of all,

1:00:03

I've never gotten a sunburn. You're lucky man. Hurts

1:00:06

like hell, I turn into a pink lobster. I've tried to

1:00:08

get a sunburn. My mom tries to put aloe vera on,

1:00:10

I'm like, I'm like, woman! It's the

1:00:12

worst thing ever. I've tried to get a sunburn

1:00:14

once it's Schlitterbahn. A sunburn, a

1:00:16

Schlitterbahn. Okay. Three B's things on a

1:00:18

sunburn back. Okay. Or sprinting through a

1:00:20

forest barefoot. No sock, no shoe. How

1:00:22

long am I sprinting? Am I sprinting

1:00:24

from something or going to something? I

1:00:26

have to know these always. You

1:00:28

are sprinting as if there's a Kodiak chasing you.

1:00:30

How long? We'll call it...

1:00:34

What do you think's fair? Minute, minute and a

1:00:36

half. Sprinting. I can't sprint. Yeah, you definitely

1:00:38

can. Your lungs would get out for your

1:00:40

feet wood. Okay. One minute. One forest. Sprint

1:00:42

forest. Like the forest.

1:00:45

Which one? Doesn't matter. There's sharp things, there's critters,

1:00:47

there's bugs, pine cones, there's needles, there's all sorts

1:00:50

of stuff on the ground. I would

1:00:52

have... Definitely, that's... I was

1:00:54

asking questions to try to change my mind because of

1:00:56

how easy the wood you'd rather was. I'm

1:00:59

not going to... You might be banned from wood you'd rather because

1:01:01

that was the easiest one ever. You think that's easy. Yes, the

1:01:03

three bee stings with the sunburn on the back is easiest. You're

1:01:06

taking three bee stings? Yes. The

1:01:09

lifelong trauma from sprinting with your shoes off

1:01:11

in the forest, there's so many options to

1:01:14

what could go bad. You run away

1:01:16

from bees in everyday life if we see

1:01:18

them. You sprint away as if you owe

1:01:20

them money. So now you have

1:01:22

a sunburn back that you've never... I'm talking

1:01:25

sunburn. Why are you hollering? You've

1:01:27

never experienced a sunburn, so you're just crediting every

1:01:29

pain that I've gone through. You've never had a

1:01:31

sunburn, so you're going to feel hell from that

1:01:33

first off. Then three bees, which you've also never

1:01:36

experienced. I've been sunburned. And I've stepped on a

1:01:38

needle in the forest, so we

1:01:40

both cleared there. Did you get a stab? No,

1:01:43

it was very painful though. Very painful. Okay,

1:01:45

exactly. It went through my shoe. Okay,

1:01:47

exactly. So there's so many... Think of all the options

1:01:49

that could come from whenever you were sprinting through a

1:01:51

forest barefoot. First of all, where are my shoes and

1:01:54

socks? They're gone. They're gone for whatever reason. I

1:01:56

don't know. Maybe you're sprinting from the robber, but in reality,

1:01:58

he's just trying to give you... back because he

1:02:00

knows it's gonna hurt but at the same time adrenaline

1:02:03

is soaring through your body so do you really feel

1:02:05

your feet my adrenaline asked for 45 seconds I can't

1:02:07

I don't have any good formos because my adrenaline is

1:02:09

gone like I'll be like nah! okay

1:02:17

you don't understand the power

1:02:19

of the Sun you don't

1:02:21

understand the power of the

1:02:23

forest think about this name four things in

1:02:26

a four thousand eight name four

1:02:28

things in a forest bears bees beats

1:02:31

about four galactic in your office watching

1:02:34

deuce okay

1:02:36

there's in B listen listen guess

1:02:38

what's in the forest this son that's

1:02:43

stupid to say there's so many trees it's

1:02:45

blotting out the Sun love you

1:02:47

just say what part of the forest there's exposed parts of the forest

1:02:51

talking deep the bush wilderness okay but

1:02:53

you can still get sunburn in the

1:02:55

forest can you not you can

1:02:57

get sunburn at night you

1:03:02

can get sunburns at night so you can't get

1:03:04

sunburn if there's a couple red oaks up wait

1:03:06

yeah you get summer

1:03:12

tonight you've ever gone okay

1:03:15

I've never got a sunburn in the Sun I've met

1:03:17

him in I've never got it at night no

1:03:20

one I know you got my wrong can you

1:03:22

Google that no one gets umber tonight no one

1:03:24

I've ever met on the sunburn wait

1:03:27

no I remember the Sun still out at

1:03:29

night let's break it there's still the Sun's

1:03:32

out at night we're on the other side

1:03:34

of the earth there's still Sun how

1:03:36

do you think the presence of the Sun we can feel the

1:03:38

heat the sunburn the heat of

1:03:42

the Sun that's so wrong he

1:03:44

does not what gives it the rays

1:03:46

of the Sun because it's hot no

1:03:49

no wait wait what is it yeah

1:03:51

yeah there's this still

1:04:00

UAV radiation occurring at night UAV is

1:04:02

a score streak you get in a

1:04:04

video game it's UV

1:04:07

UV rays a UAV shows people

1:04:09

on your mini map okay it's

1:04:11

UV rays first off and the

1:04:13

rays at night are probably one

1:04:15

or two okay blistering hot July

1:04:17

in the middle of the day

1:04:19

on a beach relax that's sunburn

1:04:22

relax the Sun's still

1:04:24

out in the forest the Sun's

1:04:26

still out a couple of leaves are not

1:04:28

gonna block you from the Sun you

1:04:30

have a better chance of dying from

1:04:32

a vending machine than you do getting

1:04:35

a sunburn at night okay

1:04:37

we get four that was just one example I'm saying say

1:04:39

it's daylight when you're running through the forest you still get

1:04:41

a sunburn yes or no yes or no yes

1:04:44

or no you're right yes or no sure

1:04:47

it has to be okay are there bees in the

1:04:49

forest depends on where you're at oh so

1:04:51

I could get two things right

1:04:53

that were in the other would you rather and then I

1:04:55

can step on needles snakes

1:04:57

shrubs wood ants

1:05:01

holes spiders porcupine

1:05:09

you're you're thought a porcupine

1:05:12

wait how to say that porcupine it's

1:05:15

not a porcupine how do

1:05:18

you spell porcupine you don't know but

1:05:20

it's definitely not p o r i e porcupine

1:05:25

porcupine you

1:05:27

realize you do realize that I wonder would you

1:05:30

rather okay because all this shit that can happen

1:05:32

with the bee sting in the Sun can happen

1:05:35

in the forest name a single person's got some burn at night

1:05:37

why is that my night you didn't say you're running through the forest at night

1:05:40

you're the one that said you could still go to summer tonight yeah

1:05:43

I don't know why I said I don't

1:05:45

know why I said I lose my body

1:05:47

you think sunburns come from many maps in

1:05:49

college duty okay and you also think there's

1:05:51

a porcupine in this forest along with like

1:05:53

you just mixed every ecosystem snakes

1:05:56

porcupines did you say Wolverine no

1:05:58

thank you said Wolverine excellent Okay,

1:06:00

Wolverine's a real animal. Did you know that?

1:06:02

Yes. Are

1:06:04

you sure you knew that? If you

1:06:06

were to tell me to draw one? I

1:06:08

could, I couldn't. I don't give a shit

1:06:10

about stuff like that. Ask me a CPM. Ask

1:06:13

me how to make a good thumbnail. Ask me how to- That's

1:06:15

what I know to do. Tell a good story.

1:06:18

You... What do I

1:06:20

gain in my life from drawing a

1:06:22

Wolverine, dog? You'd be in agonizing pain

1:06:24

if you had a sunburn. Let alone

1:06:26

the Beastings. Let alone, in knowing

1:06:29

you and your body, you're allergic to bees.

1:06:32

So you would be absolutely-

1:06:35

No, if I was allergic, I would change my answer. Actually,

1:06:37

I wouldn't! Actually, maybe I wouldn't. Because

1:06:41

that's the imminent death. The other one's the possibility

1:06:43

of death. I want you to think about this.

1:06:45

You pinched something too hard on your back today,

1:06:47

lifting weights. That's personal. Lifting weights, personal. And you

1:06:50

were in agony. In agony, I pushed

1:06:52

through the workout. I lifted dumbbells. Oh,

1:06:54

you left. I thought I pushed the dumbbell. I

1:06:56

lifted an easy bar. But you stopped this part. You went

1:06:58

and rolled on it. You told me to! Holy

1:07:01

shit! I told you to put pressure on the bar.

1:07:03

And I did. And then you said, yeah, you should

1:07:05

probably stop. You should go roll out. You'd

1:07:11

be willing to bet you still won that. I don't have

1:07:13

one. You're so-

1:07:19

You're really picking, running through a forest

1:07:21

barefoot. Or no, you're not picking that. I meant

1:07:23

to say, you're really not going to pick that sunburn.

1:07:25

I'm talking- I got cohesive

1:07:27

symptoms. You're not going to pick running through

1:07:29

a forest barefoot. Am I dying?

1:07:33

Am I having a stroke? What

1:07:35

is going on? I smell toast. You're

1:07:38

picking a sunburn with

1:07:40

bee stings. Yes. What? I

1:07:43

can't talk. You're picking a

1:07:45

sunburn with bee stings. Yes. And

1:07:47

you've never experienced a bee stings. I've never ran through

1:07:49

a forest, either dumbass. And you've never experienced- I've done

1:07:52

both and I'm telling you- You ran through a forest

1:07:54

barefoot? Not barefoot. I had shoes on. So you haven't

1:07:56

experienced it? Don't ever get that

1:07:58

okay again. You

1:08:01

know that I won the wood you rather you you pick

1:08:03

the stupid one No, you didn't because everything that could happen

1:08:05

to you with the sunburned see mark Anything

1:08:08

anything that can have you with the sunburned Anything

1:08:11

that can happen to you with the sunburned be things can have it

1:08:13

you in the forest and more no All

1:08:15

right, bro. I don't know you're not

1:08:17

getting a sunburn in the forest. You're

1:08:19

running for a minute Did

1:08:22

we get are we on the Sun? Oh, that's

1:08:24

it You

1:08:26

asked the time and I said I'm just running for

1:08:28

a minute straight. Yes I

1:08:34

Think to hell with feet and stings.

1:08:36

We didn't do it last week. Let's help some people out. Oh Hello

1:09:01

Oh It

1:09:07

tasted like Play-Doh and chocolate milk in

1:09:10

the back What

1:09:19

are you gonna do with that shirt? What are

1:09:21

you gonna do with that shirt tonight? Oh

1:09:23

tonight? There's not on it. There's

1:09:26

spit on it. There's tears on

1:09:28

it and there's probably spotless monkey

1:09:30

hair You're

1:09:32

so you're so obsessed with my spotless

1:09:34

beaver. No, no if you

1:09:37

showed me a hairless bison It'd

1:09:40

be a solo act. It'd be a solo.

1:09:42

I've seen my spotless monkey. No, I haven't

1:09:44

don't we got it We gotta

1:09:46

help people sign. All right I This

1:09:52

episode is brought to you by joy

1:09:54

mode Valentine's Day's around the corner and

1:09:56

you need to be ready when Cupid

1:09:58

strikes with our friends at

1:10:01

joy mode. Hey whether you're looking to

1:10:03

get lucky or spice up those intimate

1:10:05

moments with your partner, joy mode, sexual

1:10:07

performance boosters, an all-natural and science-backed solution

1:10:10

to every man's greatest fear, releasing

1:10:12

the love. Too soon?

1:10:14

This Valentine's Day, move on from

1:10:16

sketchy gas station erection pills and

1:10:18

treat yourself to a supplement you

1:10:21

can actually trust with no prescription

1:10:23

needed. I like that. Simply mix

1:10:25

joy mode with six to eight

1:10:27

ounces of water 45 minutes

1:10:29

before sexual activity and

1:10:32

watch the love unfold literally.

1:10:35

Hey date night will never be the same

1:10:37

when you go to usejoymode.com for 20% off

1:10:39

with code YSK.

1:10:41

That's 20% off in free

1:10:44

shipping with code YSK at

1:10:46

use. J-O-Y-M-O-D-E that elevate

1:10:50

your confidence and performance in the bedroom

1:10:52

because the best gift that

1:10:55

you can give her this Valentine's Day

1:10:57

is joy mode itself. Joy mode sexual

1:10:59

performance boosters like pre-workout but for sex.

1:11:02

Designed to support erection quality,

1:11:05

firmness and sex drive. It

1:11:07

contains clinically supported doses of

1:11:09

arginine nitrate, L-citrulline, panax, ginseng

1:11:12

and vitamin C. Hey

1:11:14

the great thing about it is small enough

1:11:16

to get into your wallet and take with

1:11:18

you on the go. It's the perfect date

1:11:21

night companion. So go to

1:11:23

usejoymode.com and get 20% off

1:11:26

with code YSK at checkout. That's 20%

1:11:28

off in free

1:11:30

shipping with code YSK

1:11:33

at use. J-O-Y-M-O-D-E that.

1:11:36

Be at your best when love is

1:11:38

in the air with joy

1:11:40

mode. Now up to the

1:11:42

rest of the episode. I have

1:11:47

this one. I think you're gonna love it. It is

1:11:49

so short and so to the point that it's like

1:11:51

me. Hey Dr. P. Hello. Hey

1:11:56

Dr. P. Hello. I have this X

1:11:58

and she wants- Sitting your

1:12:00

accent Alright Hey,

1:12:04

Dr. P. Hello. I'll have this X

1:12:06

and she won't stop stalking me I've

1:12:08

told him many times to stop stalking me, but

1:12:11

she continues to stalk me What

1:12:13

do I do? What

1:12:18

should I do what should you do

1:12:21

Shocking yeah, so I'm not in you

1:12:23

and I heard him. I heard it. He told her

1:12:25

not to stalk him. Yeah Take

1:12:28

it away doc. Uh, how do

1:12:30

you know she's stalking you? Oh You

1:12:34

think the devil is you think he likes

1:12:36

it? He

1:12:38

likes me okay, Doc First

1:12:41

of all you can only get stocks so much because

1:12:46

I'm not gonna lie, bro. You're starting to

1:12:49

give me a little gaslight vibe. Oh, I don't want to

1:12:51

put that on your jacket I don't want to put that

1:12:53

on your varsity, but let me tell you

1:12:55

something if somebody Let

1:13:01

me tell you something we've all been stocked before You

1:13:04

know we've all had that one person you didn't want

1:13:06

to see what you're posting and doing right say we're

1:13:08

talking about Instagram Say

1:13:11

we're talking about Instagram right okay Yeah,

1:13:14

assume you're not famous I have a big following and

1:13:16

you can kind of control and get see who's following

1:13:18

or who's watching your stuff and things like that I

1:13:20

don't you see that person's Name

1:13:23

pop up on who you viewed your

1:13:25

story you blocked that account, right? Oh,

1:13:28

you found out they made burner accounts, right? You

1:13:31

found out they made before however you figured out you

1:13:33

found out they made burner accounts Guess what you can

1:13:35

do bro when you block somebody

1:13:37

Instagram gives you the option of

1:13:39

blocking any Profile

1:13:42

that is made under the same email

1:13:44

So anytime even if that person makes a

1:13:47

new account and titles it we do with

1:13:49

no icon, right? You can still get blocked

1:13:51

from that you want to know how I

1:13:53

know that because my ex-girlfriend I was obsessed

1:13:55

with her and I was stalker. I had

1:13:57

16 Instagram No,

1:14:00

I made three burner Instagram accounts. Only

1:14:03

a different names. One

1:14:05

of them's name was Lila. Lila.

1:14:07

Yeah. But I loved her and I was

1:14:09

a kid. So I stalked her

1:14:11

but then she blocked any, she hit the

1:14:14

option where you can block any new user

1:14:16

that is made under that same email. Right?

1:14:19

So. I couldn't see her in any of the

1:14:21

burner accounts. Yeah. Don't

1:14:23

turn this on me. No, no, no, no, no,

1:14:26

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're

1:14:28

the doctor. Yeah. You're assuming it's from social media.

1:14:30

I'm thinking she's like creeping behind this peach tree

1:14:32

outside his house. Oh! Well, if that's the option.

1:14:34

He didn't say it was online stalking. I'm thinking

1:14:36

she's quite literally watching his whole family eat dinner.

1:14:39

Well, first of all, you start with

1:14:41

the tier system. Your neighborhood crime

1:14:43

watchers. You contact them, you let

1:14:45

them know. Then if it gets to a point where you're

1:14:47

actually scared. Where you're like, this is getting out of hand.

1:14:50

Call the police. You can get a restraining order.

1:14:53

You can get a restraining order. Or whatever.

1:14:55

Or you can tell friends, you can tell family. Handle

1:14:58

it in a peaceful legal matter. That

1:15:00

would be creepy though, to think about it. Oh, right.

1:15:03

Like you're just chilling, you look outside, and you literally see a person

1:15:05

looking at you. Like

1:15:07

that's what you think is happening. What is it, an X? It

1:15:09

is an X. That's kind of hot. I'm

1:15:12

a little weird. You're a toxic doctor. No, I'm

1:15:14

not toxic. Huh? It's not Peyton talking to Dr.

1:15:16

P. You're not Lila? Dr.

1:15:19

P. You're not toxic? Oh, sorry. You're right, son. I'm

1:15:21

saying, but like if a girl wanted to be back

1:15:23

in my life that bad, when she was farming around

1:15:25

everywhere. But you're so cute, muffin. How

1:15:28

did I give you a little extra sugar on your oatmeal? Oh

1:15:31

yeah. Stop happening. Stop

1:15:33

happening. Yeah bro, but at some point

1:15:35

bro, you just gotta, I'm assuming he's,

1:15:38

I'm not really sure if I trust him. You

1:15:41

are. And what'd you do to her? To

1:15:44

make her go crazy. What if he didn't do anything? He did. But

1:15:46

what if he didn't? You're

1:15:48

wrong. He did, what'd you do to her? What'd you

1:15:51

do? And that was... in

1:16:08

the books thank you so much for coming

1:16:10

back and chilling and vibing with us we

1:16:12

are two episodes away from

1:16:15

episode 100 a massive mess you

1:16:17

are tying your pants to the

1:16:19

microphone you are attaching

1:16:21

the mic to your bison buffalo county

1:16:23

hello two episodes away from a historic

1:16:26

milestone episode 100 of the you should

1:16:28

know podcast according to uncle p there's

1:16:30

the biggest surprise yeah i don't even

1:16:32

know the surprise you will know soon

1:16:35

you will know soon i'll tell you before we record it okay

1:16:37

well i'll figure out next week i'll know it won't tell it

1:16:39

to you because then it won't be a surprise but like

1:16:42

uncle p said oh or was that only

1:16:44

the code for the intro people that's only the code for

1:16:46

the intro so it's a different code now okay uh

1:16:49

get your good karma confuse the casuals with this

1:16:51

code if you're an intro person leave a double

1:16:53

comment leave a second comment with this one knowing

1:16:55

that you're the intro and an outro person you

1:16:57

are the realist you the baddest you the realest

1:17:00

get your karma this week's secret code is gonna be y

1:17:02

b k yearbook

1:17:08

kid y

1:17:11

b k leave it in the comments leave it on

1:17:13

instagram leave it on patreon leave it anywhere you can

1:17:15

see colorado vlog and many other things don't make that

1:17:17

video don't

1:17:20

make that video colorado vlog and

1:17:22

many other things in the patreon

1:17:24

in the description below the facebook

1:17:26

our actual facebook not any other

1:17:28

ones the real facebook where you

1:17:30

can get genuine solid truths not

1:17:32

lies no fabricated information is

1:17:34

tagged below click that link that takes you to

1:17:36

our page that is ours the real us any

1:17:38

other count is not us real facebook below we

1:17:40

absolutely love you all this episode 98 thank you

1:17:42

for coming back i want to say something let's

1:17:44

hear it but if you come to the

1:17:47

temple live show is

1:17:49

that gonna be after episode 100 or before uh it's

1:17:53

gonna be two days before

1:17:57

two days before you're not

1:17:59

gonna know the secret Like the biggest

1:18:02

secret, not secret, surprise.

1:18:05

You're not going to

1:18:07

surprise at the live show, but I think we should

1:18:09

give them hints to what we're doing after episode 100

1:18:11

with those. You

1:18:13

should say it on stage. That'd be sick. You

1:18:16

heard it here first. Another Uncle P exclusive. And

1:18:19

if you're not coming to Tampa but that just tickled you a little

1:18:21

raising and you want to come, there's about

1:18:23

11 tickets left. I clicked that link also

1:18:25

in the description, immediately tried to secure your

1:18:27

ticket for Tampa. And after party, if

1:18:29

there will be one. Yes, it has been

1:18:31

a roller coaster up and down, but you already know, Koala

1:18:33

Club you'll know first, everyone else will know second, that's a

1:18:36

perk. Let me tell you this, if there's not an official

1:18:38

after party, we'll just tell you what club we're going to.

1:18:41

Facts. We can't hook y'all up with free admission or

1:18:43

whatever. We're still working on after

1:18:45

party, but if there's not, we'll just put on my

1:18:47

Instagrams or Instagrams for what club we're going to. We'll

1:18:49

hang out with y'all. It's been ups and downs. Tampa

1:18:51

apparently is popping on Saturdays, which I would assume.

1:18:54

But in the after party, for right now, it's going

1:18:56

to be in the city of Tampa, not Clearwater. It's going to

1:18:58

be in the city of Tampa. All right. We

1:19:00

absolutely love y'all. We'll see you. One out of

1:19:02

two Guapers, I'll be on Christmas. And we'll see you next time.

1:19:05

Let's go to that extended episode. Why

1:19:07

are your toes curled?

Rate

Join Podchaser to...

  • Rate podcasts and episodes
  • Follow podcasts and creators
  • Create podcast and episode lists
  • & much more

Episode Tags

Do you host or manage this podcast?
Claim and edit this page to your liking.
,

Unlock more with Podchaser Pro

  • Audience Insights
  • Contact Information
  • Demographics
  • Charts
  • Sponsor History
  • and More!
Pro Features